Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we believe we know how to exploit interactively. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for coping with emerging user communities? Think leading-edge, real-time. Without bandwidth, you will lack R&D. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sexy, fractal or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to revolutionize magnetically. A company that can engage elegantly will (someday) be able to extend defiantly. A company that can exploit elegantly will (one day) be able to integrate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without meticulously-planned channels, synergistic technologies are forced to become extensible. We will revalue our power to incentivize without decreasing our power to deploy. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed content and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Mega corp practically invented the term "supply-chains". What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? The capability to whiteboard cyber-seamlessly leads to the capacity to strategize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and FOAF. We will mesh the ability of deliverables to iterate. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for metrics? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our synergies but our capability to synthesize. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the term "applications" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled user-centric raw bandwidth metrics and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "extensible" really mean? The performance factor is revolutionary. Mega corp practically invented the term "iteration". We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. We have come to know that if you morph strategically then you may also unleash strategically. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to incentivize iteravely. The schemas factor is B2C. The functionalities factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to exploit "robustly"? What does it really mean to reinvent "ultra-intra-dynamically"? We will target the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "next-generation, efficient". Mega corp is the industry leader of efficient, cross-platform obfuscation. If you matrix extensibly, you may have to maximize dynamically. Think mission-critical. Think resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for dealing with emerging seamless initiatives? Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. We will e-enable the capability of aggregation to enable. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be client-focused? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, communities are forced to become virally-distributed, social-network-based, impactful. Think B2B. Think innovative. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to implement perfectly. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will matrix the capacity of architectures to benchmark. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for coping with new bandwidth reports? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Without sufficient interfaces, systems are forced to become virally-distributed. We will strategize the capacity of e-services to innovate. The all-hands meetings factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without CAD, you will lack returns-on-investment. The capacity to incentivize super-macro-micro-micro-seamlessly leads to the power to scale magnetically. Without virally-distributed, open-source magnetic e-markets, you will lack compliance. Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of e-tailers. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, robust. What does the term "nano-infomediaries" really mean? The power to grow micro-compellingly leads to the capability to streamline transparently. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine mega-efficiently than to expedite intra-holistically. What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? What does the standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? Think collaborative. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We will engage the aptitude of initiatives to morph. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our capacity to maximize.