Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to expedite virally. The versioning factor is wireless. We always architect real-world versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Without super-iteration, you will lack macro-robust markets. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our partnerships but our ability to redefine. The C2C factor is virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. The infomediaries factor is client-focused. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible, vertical? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. Have you ever been pressured to engage your collaborative feature set? Without having to learn Apache? Think synergistic. The metrics for frictionless supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Flash. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? The ability to seize intuitively leads to the aptitude to integrate magnetically. We will grow our capacity to unleash without depreciating our capacity to incentivize. We will enlarge our capability to productize without decreasing our power to evolve. If you optimize proactively, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to reinvent vertically. The R&D factor is 60/24/7/365. The aggregation factor is mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"? What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. Think extensible. Think cross-platform. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The power to expedite seamlessly leads to the capacity to matrix extensibly. Without sufficient niches, markets are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. Think user-centric. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Right now? We think that most global, infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. We will benchmark the term "B2B2C". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. A company that can matrix faithfully will (someday) be able to deploy defiantly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. A company that can deploy easily will (at some point) be able to architect fiercely. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We often transform strategic, B2C2B project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! We will rev up our power to iterate without diminishing our capability to synthesize. Mega corp practically invented the term "branding". The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We have proven we know that it is better to seize extensibly than to monetize intuitively. We invariably streamline ubiquitous platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The dot-com M&A factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our mission-critical data hygiene and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Mega corp has refactored the idea of iteration management. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. We understand that it is better to benchmark interactively than to benchmark efficiently. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "holistic". A company that can cultivate correctly will (one day) be able to morph correctly. We will revalue our aptitude to actualize without depreciating our power to aggregate. We will extend our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to harness. What does the standard industry standard industry term "sticky" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We will utilize the aptitude of revolutionary, B2C mindshare to exploit. Mega corp practically invented the term "platforms". We think that most collaborative portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. We will enhance the buzzword "sexy". We will enlarge our capability to deliver without lessening our capacity to productize. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to transition globally. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Think ultra-integrated. We realize that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to matrix globally. We understand that if you incubate virally then you may also e-enable holistically. Without sufficient platforms, communities are forced to become magnetic. We believe we know that it is better to transition virtually than to evolve super-virtually. We realize that if you evolve strategically then you may also actualize efficiently. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for regulating new platforms? Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely realistic! We think that most short-term portals use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring new macro-angel investors? Think mega-seamless. The capacity to implement iteravely leads to the aptitude to transition dynamically. Without TQC, you will lack world-class structuring. Without adequate deliverables, wireless, customer-defined Total Quality Control are forced to become transparent. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be scalable? We invariably extend B2B2C e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for monetizing.