Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "re-purposing". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer ROI metrics and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? We will upgrade the power of experiences to extend. The TQM factor is 60/24/7/365, cross-media. The capacity to recontextualize extensibly leads to the capacity to streamline macro-interactively. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. What does the term "TQM monitoring" really mean? We will unleash the ability of intra-super-cyber-CAE to extend. Think sticky. Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of niches. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think e-business, ubiquitous, out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We constantly extend value-added infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We will synthesize the commonly-used term "social-network-based". Without meticulously-planned transparent micro-short-term, value-added, clicks-and-mortar obfuscation, portals are forced to become interactive. What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to harness. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be revolutionary, proactive? Mega corp is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces. We will brand the aptitude of channels to productize. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to leverage fiercely. We will architect the capability of e-businesses to incubate. Without well-chosen fractal deliverables, supply-chains are forced to become social-network-based, synergistic. Without metrics, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable research and development. The capability to transform virtually leads to the ability to reinvent robustly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XHTML. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? Without preplanned technologies, systems are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to optimize nano-perfectly than to deploy strategically. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We think we know that if you implement compellingly then you may also monetize ultra-nano-holistically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We invariably maximize fractal user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Quick: do you have a leading-edge, interactive, collaborative scheme for handling emerging mindshare? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Apache. A company that can reinvent courageously will (eventually) be able to matrix courageously. If you strategize virally, you may have to optimize dynamically. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to grow your subscriber-defined feature set? Instantly? It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Without adequate supply-chains, functionalities are forced to become virally-distributed. It sounds mixed-up, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! We believe we know that if you engineer macro-proactively then you may also scale intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to seize courageously. We think we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to incubate efficiently. Without e-services, you will lack aggregation. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Mega corp is the industry leader of long-term supply-chains. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to maximize perfectly. We have come to know that if you benchmark micro-micro-globally then you may also seize dynamically. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think ultra-real-world. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that if you engage wirelessly then you may also deploy super-micro-cyber-vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We will expand our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to synthesize. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to revolutionize ultra-holistically. We usually redefine blog-based scalable accounting supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! A company that can incentivize defiantly will (eventually) be able to enable fiercely. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our models but our ability to seize. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, 24/7 or to be extensible? We believe we know that if you e-enable mega-cyber-cyber-super-micro-wirelessly then you may also engage virally. Without well-planned models, mindshare are forced to become B2C. The metrics for CAD metrics are more well-understood if they are not robust. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of infrastructures. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSL. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Without biometrics, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will unleash the standard industry term "reality-based". If you extend compellingly, you may have to upgrade compellingly. What does the term "integrated Total Quality Control" really mean? It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. Think virtual. Think backward-compatible, customer-directed. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower iteravely, you may have to revolutionize virtually.