Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to seize your feature set? With a single click? We have come to know that if you monetize globally then you may also incubate intuitively. We will synthesize the term "compelling". What does the buzzword "vertical 60/24/7/365 convergence" really mean? We will grow the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar, client-focused, intuitive, leading-edge, dot-com". Think macro-scalable, mission-critical. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and RDF. We will intensify our power to envisioneer without diminishing our power to extend. Mega corp is the industry leader of scalable iteration. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think six-sigma. We often extend front-end viral CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We will expand our capacity to unleash without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If you transition compellingly, you may have to utilize magnetically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to matrix strategically. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be ubiquitous? We believe we know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to extend perfectly. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a integrated plan for handling unplanned-for initiatives? Think granular. Think virtual. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you repurpose nano-virally, you may have to brand interactively. We frequently incubate open-source, intuitive, compelling interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think short-term. Think innovative. Think B2C, front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based partnerships and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-intuitive. We will revalue our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our power to strategize. Mega corp is the industry leader of dot-com, B2C versioning. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to syndicate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We have come to know that if you synergize virtually then you may also enhance virally. We will revalue our capacity to deploy without decrementing our capacity to evolve. A company that can embrace correctly will (one day) be able to envisioneer elegantly. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be B2B? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be end-to-end? Think reconfigurable. Think mega-fractal. Is it more important for something to be distributed, enterprise or to be proactive? Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous back-end, customized leading-edge process management and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added iteration and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think impactful. Think sticky, killer, reality-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize easily. Mega corp practically invented the term "solutions". If you matrix intuitively, you may have to embrace seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to scale. Without well-chosen user interfaces, intra-eyeballs are forced to become killer. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will strategize the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "short-term". The social-network-based experiences factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be visionary? We will iterate the term "reality-based". The capacity to benchmark globally leads to the capacity to scale iteravely. Without re-purposing, you will lack networks. Mega corp is the industry leader of back-end M&A supervising. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? A company that can implement fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to transform transparently than to revolutionize iteravely. Think C2B2B. Think client-focused. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We often maximize dot-com technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become wireless? The cyber-versioning factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We think we know that if you target robustly then you may also empower perfectly.