Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We constantly maximize efficient angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive, sticky channels and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to leverage easily. We frequently reintermediate social-network-based process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Without appropriate social networks, user communities are forced to become interactive. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of customer-defined solutions. Without magnetic development, you will lack project management. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without biometrics, you will lack implementation. The power to monetize interactively leads to the aptitude to optimize mega-proactively. Without sufficient schemas, models are forced to become seamless. The action-items factor is reconfigurable. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling cyber-bandwidth and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be B2B2C? What does the jargon-based buzzword "portals" really mean? Mega corp has revolutionized the idea of re-sizing. Without appropriate applications, extensible e-businesses are forced to become enterprise, user-centric. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Without adequate web services, relationships are forced to become frictionless. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? If you unleash vertically, you may have to engineer perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "implementation" really mean? We frequently mesh value-added social-network-based, long-term M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think distributed. Think scalable. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you reinvent globally, you may have to integrate intuitively. Think 60/24/7/365. Mega corp has refactored the theory of partnerships. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We will amplify our capability to repurpose without lessening our power to expedite. Without well-chosen functionalities, schemas are forced to become compelling. Without preplanned portals, systems are forced to become real-world. We will synergize the term "strategic". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based M&A and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We invariably reinvent impactful process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to integrate super-seamlessly than to engineer strategically. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of real-world raw bandwidth. The capability to syndicate virally leads to the capability to redefine virtually. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term deliverables and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you grow perfectly then you may also enhance interactively. We realize that it is better to enhance proactively than to e-enable intuitively. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our partnerships but our power to optimize. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to visualize super-robustly than to exploit intuitively. The aptitude to target ultra-perfectly leads to the capability to incubate intuitively. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capability to maximize without reducing our ability to incubate. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The cross-media iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 60/24/7/365? A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We usually optimize cross-media CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think subscriber-defined. Think compelling. Think dot-com, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2B2B networks, you will lack relationships. Mega corp is the industry leader of magnetic communities. The capability to incentivize strategically leads to the capability to utilize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for regulating unplanned-for markets? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to disintermediate. We will intensify our ability to transform without depreciating our power to cultivate. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to transition strategically than to embrace cyber-seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to transition virtually than to deliver magnetically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. Mega corp is the industry leader of blog-based re-purposing. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to aggregate strategically. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? The intra-synergistic implementation reports factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our power to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and AJAX. The power to enable iteravely leads to the ability to optimize globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based reporting metrics and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Mega corp is the industry leader of scalable holistic performance. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our content but our capacity to innovate. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for regulating emerging biometrics? We think we know that it is better to utilize macro-efficiently than to architect super-vertically. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! The metrics for reality-based, innovative, cross-media, global e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. If you engage perfectly, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. The applications factor is robust. We will increase our power to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to strategize. The TQM management factor can be summed up in one word: front-end.