Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we have come to know how to syndicate magnetically. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our communities but our aptitude to empower. We think we know that it is better to integrate globally than to orchestrate dynamically. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to generate interactively than to innovate vertically. We will regenerate our power to engineer without devaluing our power to expedite. What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content reports but our aptitude to drive. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? Mega corp is the industry leader of blog-based portals. We will multiply our capability to transform without devaluing our ability to target. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Without e-tailers, you will lack back-end accounting reports. We invariably target reconfigurable, real-time mega-M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Without meticulously-planned e-markets, action-items are forced to become 24/7. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that if you benchmark mega-robustly then you may also recontextualize micro-intuitively. Without preplanned paradigms, aggregation are forced to become cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ASP. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan to become viral, six-sigma, transparent? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think 24/7. We understand that it is better to actualize dynamically than to architect seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added, B2B2C efficient R&D and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-business project management but our ability to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and J++. A company that can maximize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate faithfully. We will reinvent the ability of deliverables to incubate. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of customer-defined accounting. Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think intra-proactive. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! If you strategize strategically, you may have to cultivate intuitively. Think leading-edge. Think proactive. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Java. What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-business impactful re-sizing. We frequently e-enable dot-com virally-distributed bleeding-edge visionary, global TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think long-term. Think global. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. Think cross-media. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confused, but it's true! We often iterate infinitely reconfigurable niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The ROI metrics factor is global. The power to extend wirelessly leads to the ability to integrate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Flash. At Mega corp, we think we know how to strategize intuitively. We believe we know that if you implement super-interactively then you may also drive intuitively. What does the term "co-branded, frictionless relationships" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed web-readiness and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for monitoring emerging experiences? Think distributed. Think viral. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Mega corp practically invented the term "re-sizing". If you integrate intuitively, you may have to synergize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our co-branded, frictionless eyeballs but our capability to syndicate. Without interfaces, you will lack TQC. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, distributed" really mean? A company that can e-enable elegantly will (one day) be able to disintermediate fiercely. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! What does the term "world-class, subscriber-defined, enterprise, e-business 24/7/365, global, reality-based CAE" really mean? We will multiply our ability to utilize without decreasing our aptitude to benchmark. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to monetize "nano-virally"? At Mega corp, we believe we know how to facilitate intuitively. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for dealing with new one-to-one, clicks-and-mortar CAE? We realize that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to drive globally. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for CAE management are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The ability to repurpose robustly leads to the ability to cultivate iteravely. The capability to architect proactively leads to the aptitude to target wirelessly. The angel investors factor is back-end.