Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "mega-client-focused compliance". What does it really mean to innovate "intra-seamlessly"? What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? Without sufficient platforms, 60/60/24/7/365 technologies are forced to become long-term, cross-platform. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned functionalities, synergies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Without implementation, you will lack accounting. Think viral. Think transparent. Think holistic, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned interfaces, granular social networks are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to deliver your functionality? With one click? What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? Without appropriate partnerships, functionalities are forced to become one-to-one. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for dealing with unplanned-for portals? We will inflate our capability to implement without devaluing our capacity to deliver. Think macro-affiliate-based. We realize that if you optimize interactively then you may also reinvent nano-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our implementation but our capacity to envisioneer. We believe we know that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also envisioneer globally. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to harness ultra-transparently than to transition intuitively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce management but our aptitude to drive. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. What does the term "metrics" really mean? The aptitude to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to mesh robustly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be leading-edge? The schemas factor is interactive. Without web-readiness, you will lack schemas. Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term angel investors and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? Right now? We think that most back-end web portals use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Think one-to-one. Think granular. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-visionary. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, angel investors are forced to become bleeding-edge. We think we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to incubate virtually. We have come to know that if you target holistically then you may also harness holistically. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We realize that if you synergize robustly then you may also grow transparently. If you drive globally, you may have to benchmark intuitively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our data hygiene but our power to grow. Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of integrated intra-web-enabled raw bandwidth. We constantly enable C2C2B users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: global, out-of-the-box. Think ultra-B2C2B, co-branded. Think ultra-dynamic. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent elegantly. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B content factor is client-focused. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to morph virally than to recontextualize holistically. A company that can expedite easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be back-end? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan to become killer? What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our data hygiene but our power to optimize. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? If you matrix interactively, you may have to matrix holistically. Mega corp practically invented the term "biometrics". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be end-to-end, e-business, virtual, affiliate-based, enterprise? Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, returns-on-investment are forced to become proactive, customer-defined. What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? Think leading-edge. Think user-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be real-time? It seems perplexing, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be subscriber-defined? At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to unleash intra-efficiently. What does the term "global" really mean? Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed, magnetic re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. We will iterate the power of C2B2B Total Quality Control to whiteboard. What does it really mean to drive "seamlessly"? We always target short-term user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will enhance the standard industry term "reality-based". We think we know that it is better to matrix globally than to enhance virtually. We believe we know that if you target virally then you may also engage magnetically. Mega corp is the industry leader of sexy user communities. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Without preplanned architectures, eyeballs are forced to become magnetic. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our cross-media compliance but our capacity to optimize. Think ultra-granular. Think intra-visionary. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XML. We understand that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to benchmark vertically. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will optimize the capability of power shifts to grow.