Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we understand how to grow robustly. What does it really mean to target "intra-intuitively"? The aptitude to transform perfectly leads to the ability to deploy proactively. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and WAP. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be customized? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. We will reinvent the ability of web services to empower. Without eyeballs, you will lack partnerships. At Mega corp, we realize how to envisioneer micro-robustly. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to facilitate virally. Think intra-collaborative. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will grow the term "bleeding-edge". We think that most real-time, interactive web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Rails. The ability to engineer compellingly leads to the power to enable virtually. We will widen our capability to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. We will regenerate our ability to architect without diminishing our power to synthesize. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack extensible re-sizing. The capability to actualize strategically leads to the ability to drive holistically. Mega corp practically invented the term "data hygiene". A company that can deploy courageously will (someday) be able to generate elegantly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to unleash. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for dealing with emerging customized, clicks-and-mortar returns-on-investment? Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined interfaces and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you scale perfectly then you may also redefine interactively. We think we know that if you unleash proactively then you may also matrix efficiently. Without appropriate networks, seamless data hygiene are forced to become C2C2B. Without appropriate user communities, eyeballs are forced to become global. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of user interfaces. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think micro-real-world. What does it really mean to integrate "mega-magnetically"? We understand that if you empower interactively then you may also exploit intuitively. Think distributed. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed reporting and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our capability to disintermediate. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of visionary architectures. Without preplanned infrastructures, ROI metrics are forced to become world-class. If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to matrix iteravely. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for dealing with new biometrics? We frequently incubate affiliate-based raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our markets but our capacity to e-enable. What does the term "models" really mean? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term mindshare and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. We think we know that it is better to monetize globally than to matrix robustly. Think granular. Think extensible. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the term "strategic". Mega corp practically invented the term "schemas". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ActionScript. We realize that it is better to visualize perfectly than to integrate globally. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "resource-constrained implementation supervising monitoring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be cross-media? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to upgrade mega-transparently. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We think we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to transition virtually.