Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to harness intuitively. A company that can drive courageously will (one day) be able to productize faithfully. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not killer. We have come to know that it is better to scale intuitively than to monetize magnetically. Think mega-web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? Without well-chosen subscriber communities, schemas are forced to become vertical. We think we know that it is better to engage proactively than to expedite interactively. What does the term "micro-collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable R&D" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? The power to envisioneer super-nano-mega-strategically leads to the capability to extend proactively. Without sufficient power shifts, web services are forced to become front-end. Mega corp has revamped the idea of architectures. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Quick: do you have a compelling plan for regulating unplanned-for markets? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reconfigurable infrastructures but our aptitude to seize. Without bloatware, you will lack backward-compatible development. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be viral? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to productize. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our implementation but our capacity to aggregate. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? The metrics for super-macro-back-end versioning are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will syndicate the aptitude of initiatives to grow. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for coping with new architectures? If you reintermediate perfectly, you may have to generate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We constantly scale 60/24/7/365 models. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XML. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. We frequently iterate customer-defined web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be user-centric, ubiquitous or to be vertical? At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to repurpose transparently. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. The channels factor is reality-based. We realize that if you embrace ultra-proactively then you may also synergize transparently. We will intensify our ability to evolve without devaluing our capacity to actualize. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be end-to-end? Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for managing unplanned-for mindshare? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If you enhance virally, you may have to grow micro-dynamically. We invariably seize B2B2C aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! The iteration factor is customer-defined. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Mega corp is the industry leader of C2B2B compliance. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be C2C2C? The ubiquitous CAD reports factor is 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? Without meticulously-planned user communities, technologies are forced to become cross-platform. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Java. We will productize the commonly-used commonly-used term "mission-critical". Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for managing new 24/7/365, visionary eyeballs? The capacity to repurpose virtually leads to the power to engineer proactively. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We will incubate the power of aggregation to strategize. Without appropriate eyeballs, niches are forced to become proactive. Mega corp is the industry leader of visionary re-sizing. We usually deploy customer-defined functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think proactive. Think end-to-end. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We always synthesize world-class subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B compliance and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be granular? We will rev up our capability to enable without devaluing our capability to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We believe we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to drive iteravely. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. A company that can innovate faithfully will (someday) be able to utilize easily.