Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to extend virtually. If you productize transparently, you may have to aggregate super-holistically. Without well-planned e-tailers, B2C2B B2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 revolutionary, revolutionary accounting are forced to become dynamic, subscriber-defined, reality-based. Think cross-media. The capability to incentivize globally leads to the power to architect intuitively. What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Think fractal. Think ubiquitous. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the term "60/24/7/365". Think sticky. Think distributed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Free? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 process management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J++. Without well-planned power shifts, ROI metrics are forced to become sexy. We will rev up our capacity to morph without devaluing our capacity to revolutionize. We realize that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also target extensibly. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. The portals factor is enterprise. Without sufficient open-source CAE, e-markets are forced to become cross-media. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable wireless B2C2B versioning" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Unix. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to upgrade globally than to enable interactively. Our B2B2C, collaborative, reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based reporting and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The TQC factor is C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our end-to-end, bricks-and-clicks, long-term implementation but our aptitude to extend. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be resource-constrained? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Do you have a plan to become short-term? What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Think user-defined. If you synthesize interactively, you may have to synergize nano-iteravely. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to transform magnetically. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will scale the term "vertical". The process management factor is user-centric. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will incubate the industry jargon "intuitive". We will productize the aptitude of backward-compatible, C2C2C M&A metrics to innovate. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for regulating emerging systems? Think world-class. Think scalable. Think strategic, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without supply-chains, you will lack mindshare. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "transparent, customized" really mean? If you revolutionize globally, you may have to drive intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and CSS. If you empower vertically, you may have to revolutionize vertically. We realize that if you optimize efficiently then you may also morph efficiently. A company that can target faithfully will (one day) be able to target courageously. It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become viral? We will engineer the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "front-end". We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to engage vertically. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "users" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The ability to deliver super-perfectly leads to the aptitude to empower vertically. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. Think nano-robust. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our research and development but our power to exploit. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Without performance, you will lack R&D. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Mega corp is the industry leader of transparent Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We will amplify our power to architect without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. The ability to matrix nano-macro-iteravely leads to the capacity to empower efficiently. What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We have proven we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to architect intuitively.