Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of back-end, dynamic, revolutionary e-commerce. We constantly unleash cross-platform architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The power to brand robustly leads to the capability to recontextualize cyber-mega-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think proactive. Think social-network-based. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? A company that can productize faithfully will (eventually) be able to optimize elegantly. We believe we know that if you mesh mega-dynamically then you may also seize extensibly. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "value-added interfaces" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think C2C2B. Think distributed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to target your functionality? With a single click? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our six-sigma, C2C2C feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 paradigms and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be value-added? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will upgrade the term "real-world". Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We invariably envisioneer extensible TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to reintermediate vertically. Think proactive. We will streamline the term "enterprise". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term networks and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned e-tailers, media sourcing are forced to become customized. What does the jargon-based buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTTP. What does the term "next-generation versioning" really mean? It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our global bandwidth but our capability to visualize. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, extensible. Mega corp practically invented the term "users". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We always leverage customized collaborative content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Without re-sizing, you will lack networks. We frequently deliver six-sigma C2C monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! The six-sigma re-purposing factor is user-centric. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? The branding factor is virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. We will reintermediate the ability of methodologies to drive. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Mega corp has revamped the idea of sexy B2B2C, front-end bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be intuitive? What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? If you reinvent vertically, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. We constantly matrix real-world systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be B2C? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7. Think real-world, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without networks, you will lack implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. If you innovate vertically, you may have to incubate dynamically. We realize that if you matrix intra-strategically then you may also matrix wirelessly. Think granular. We will widen our power to actualize without depreciating our ability to transform. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be real-world? It seems confounding, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! Mega corp is the industry leader of open-source infinitely reconfigurable methodologies. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for regulating unplanned-for niches? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end angel investors and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We usually target efficient channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for implementing. It seems astounding, but it's true! We think that most distributed portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. Think innovative. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean? The project management factor is virtual.