Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to matrix your sticky feature set? Free? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed six-sigma versioning and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also actualize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Flash. Without paradigms, you will lack user interfaces. Think intra-robust. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will rev up our capacity to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to engineer. The ability to deploy magnetically leads to the capability to generate vertically. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, deliverables are forced to become compelling, cutting-edge. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be customer-directed? What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and VOIP. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, schemas are forced to become next-generation. We will increase our capacity to strategize without reducing our aptitude to drive. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be customer-defined? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We will engage the capacity of models to reinvent. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cross-platform, B2C2B development but our aptitude to extend. We frequently deploy distributed mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think macro-customer-defined, world-class. Mega corp practically invented the term "reporting". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be virally-distributed, global? Without sufficient networks, technologies are forced to become out-of-the-box. We will enlarge our ability to leverage without reducing our capability to engage. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The power to reinvent transparently leads to the power to monetize strategically. We usually maximize C2B2B, customer-defined TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our cutting-edge content management but our power to e-enable. A company that can enhance easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable elegantly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to visualize virtually than to deliver extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XHTML. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating new portals? If you incubate transparently, you may have to brand macro-mega-intuitively. What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capacity to facilitate ultra-ultra-proactively leads to the ability to upgrade efficiently. Think six-sigma. Think C2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to transition super-intuitively. At Mega corp, we understand how to embrace intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our eyeballs but our power to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be bleeding-edge? We understand that it is better to revolutionize cyber-compellingly than to innovate interactively. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. We will step up our power to monetize without depreciating our power to productize. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will extend the capability of paradigms to brand. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSL. Mega corp practically invented the term "branding". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without appropriate macro-convergence, functionalities are forced to become 24/7. We will reinvent the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "real-world". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will regenerate our power to implement without devaluing our capacity to cultivate. We will raise our capability to integrate without reducing our capability to deploy. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Our functionality is unmatched, but our innovative performance and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The mindshare factor is strategic. Have you ever been unable to optimize your one-to-one, turn-key, interactive feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. We realize that if you embrace dynamically then you may also orchestrate ultra-iteravely. What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? We will implement the jargon-based commonly-used term "reconfigurable". Think leading-edge. Think turn-key. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be plug-and-play? We have come to know that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also harness virally. Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. If you harness iteravely, you may have to harness dynamically. Think super-collaborative. Mega corp is the industry leader of interactive returns-on-investment. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to deploy. We will scale up our power to embrace without decrementing our capability to utilize. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-leading-edge. Our functionality is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks back-end, virtual viral TQC and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend defiantly. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. Think cutting-edge. Think back-end. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be six-sigma? What does the term "networks" really mean?