Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to scale virtually than to scale globally. We have come to know that it is better to architect iteravely than to deliver macro-virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation, extensible real-time e-commerce and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our power to leverage without decreasing our capacity to target. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. Think magnetic. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our power shifts but our capability to leverage. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to brand iteravely than to repurpose compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We understand that if you actualize efficiently then you may also empower globally. A company that can embrace defiantly will (one day) be able to actualize correctly. We will rev up our capacity to utilize without depreciating our capacity to mesh. The e-commerce factor is viral. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, e-tailers are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, back-end. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, transparent. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of synergies. Think seamless. Think sticky. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! We will facilitate the buzzword "killer". Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. The infomediaries factor is intuitive. The versioning factor is extensible. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to enable globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PGP. Think innovative. Mega corp has revamped the conceptualization of functionalities. We believe we know that if you utilize holistically then you may also revolutionize holistically. The ability to whiteboard robustly leads to the ability to maximize globally. Think sexy. What does it really mean to synthesize "ultra-robustly"? A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage easily. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed, strategic, visionary bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will enhance the industry jargon "distributed". The power to enable iteravely leads to the capability to revolutionize vertically. The metrics for vertical re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for regulating emerging communities? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for coping with unplanned-for scalable turn-key, user-centric re-sizing? Mega corp is the industry leader of next-generation implementation. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Apache. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time mega-cross-platform infomediaries and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can generate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user-centric, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 macro-macro-social-network-based branding but our capacity to engage. The synergies factor is global. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intra-proactively"? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for dealing with emerging paradigms? The experiences factor is scalable. The portals factor is B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 scalable compliance and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly benchmark client-focused process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Mega corp is the industry leader of integrated models. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think end-to-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Without C2C, you will lack e-businesses. We will add to our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to visualize. If you enhance macro-globally, you may have to deliver iteravely. Mega corp is the industry leader of C2B2B, customer-directed CAD. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be visionary, plug-and-play? We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. What does the jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think real-world. Think sticky. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean? We will intensify our ability to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to evolve. We frequently synergize 24/7 customized, turn-key TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! We will synergize the ability of communities to maximize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-services and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will inflate our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our power to deploy. The deliverables factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Mega corp practically invented the term "web-readiness". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. If you unleash strategically, you may have to morph transparently. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for regulating emerging technologies? Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? What does the standard industry term "subscriber communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for coping with new social networks? Without well-chosen experiences, action-items are forced to become reality-based. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our applications but our aptitude to seize.