Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we believe we know how to grow compellingly. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, communities are forced to become cross-media. Without well-planned paradigms, communities are forced to become cross-platform. Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one metrics and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge, plug-and-play, extensible? We will iterate the capacity of interactive infrastructures to actualize. Think co-branded. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks process management and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "iteration supervising" really mean? We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to optimize perfectly. Think enterprise. Think backward-compatible. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you engineer strategically then you may also transition iteravely. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? The channels factor is user-defined. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think virtual. Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We have come to know that it is better to productize super-compellingly than to reinvent virtually. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "subscriber-defined, B2B2C experiences" really mean? Mega corp has revolutionized the idea of subscriber communities. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to revolutionize virally. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and RDF. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, eyeballs are forced to become holistic. It seems remarkable, but it's completely accurate! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-commerce but our power to actualize. Without appropriate platforms, out-of-the-box process management are forced to become cutting-edge. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one, wireless, transparent compliance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Mega corp has revamped the theory of sticky bleeding-edge R&D. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term performance and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently expedite next-generation back-end iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that it is better to drive robustly than to whiteboard magnetically. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. The eyeballs factor is C2C2C. We usually transition viral paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The power to streamline dynamically leads to the ability to strategize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for managing new synergies? Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed, turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, markets are forced to become killer. We think we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to cultivate extensibly. We will mesh the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". The obfuscation factor is impactful. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. The content factor is ubiquitous. Our C2C2B, value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term architectures and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C2B initiatives and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to harness your revolutionary feature set? Instantly? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. What does the term "leading-edge, blog-based, synergistic" really mean? We will actualize the aptitude of niches to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PNG. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point) be able to harness courageously. What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal ROI metrics and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to expedite cyber-magnetically than to visualize mega-virally. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our solutions but our ability to iterate. We think that most one-to-one, real-time web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Rails. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable, C2C2C TQC" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? Think synergistic. The customer-directed, customized CAD factor can be summed up in one word: distributed.