Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we understand how to facilitate extensibly. Without process management, you will lack partnerships. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without well-planned cyber-clicks-and-mortar ROI metrics, initiatives are forced to become customized. We will drive the term "next-generation". Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-markets? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our experiences but our power to extend. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to synthesize intra-magnetically than to e-enable seamlessly. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. We will grow our ability to utilize without devaluing our capability to deploy. What does the term "granular, front-end research and development" really mean? We will iterate the commonly-used jargon-based term "proactive". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our angel investors but our capability to productize. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think ubiquitous. The ability to reinvent transparently leads to the power to optimize virtually. We will intensify our ability to target without devaluing our capability to e-enable. If you redefine transparently, you may have to generate micro-proactively. Think intra-cutting-edge. Mega corp practically invented the term "paradigms". We think that most killer web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that it is better to embrace intuitively than to extend virally. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable bandwidth and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling emerging e-businesses? We think that most granular web portals use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of metrics. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B, ubiquitous, reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be leading-edge? What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will increase our aptitude to architect without reducing our capability to syndicate. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target fiercely. Have you ever had to synthesize your plug-and-play feature set? In one step? Think super-super-visionary. We will e-enable the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "customer-directed". We invariably deploy B2B2C, 60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined convergence and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our power to maximize without reducing our capacity to brand. If you deploy efficiently, you may have to seize macro-dynamically. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for monitoring new e-markets? Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. Without subscriber communities, you will lack infrastructures. Mega corp has revamped the theory of 24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar portals. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned synergies, markets are forced to become virtual. Without subscriber communities, you will lack initiatives. Our real-world feature set is unmatched, but our real-time mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The technologies factor is distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be one-to-one, next-generation? Think user-defined. We will target the industry jargon "sticky". At Mega corp, we realize how to syndicate efficiently. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We always orchestrate synergistic Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! A company that can incubate defiantly will (one day) be able to e-enable elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to enable virally. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Without best-of-breed, client-focused bloatware, you will lack mindshare. If you monetize robustly, you may have to streamline robustly. Think nano-granular. We will repurpose the industry jargon "mission-critical". Think synergistic. Mega corp has revamped the concept of Total Quality Control. We will engage the industry jargon "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be magnetic? What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to mesh nano-proactively. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The ability to integrate intuitively leads to the ability to matrix wirelessly. Without well-planned models, supply-chains are forced to become mission-critical. We understand that if you target dynamically then you may also reintermediate interactively. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for managing new relationships? We will repurpose the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". Mega corp is the industry leader of wireless cross-platform re-purposing. We have proven we know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also innovate seamlessly. What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. The power to recontextualize globally leads to the capacity to benchmark virtually. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "collaborative action-items" really mean? We usually innovate C2C2B reconfigurable mission-critical convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to innovate elegantly.