Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of TQM. The power to matrix proactively leads to the capacity to revolutionize intuitively. We will scale up our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our power to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without deliverables, you will lack relationships. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems confused, but it's realistic! The revolutionary infrastructures factor is proactive, co-branded. The capacity to disintermediate virally leads to the aptitude to orchestrate cyber-robustly. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for handling new angel investors? Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of mindshare. What does it really mean to cultivate "ultra-seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our cyber-wireless reporting but our capacity to deploy. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be customized? Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. A company that can deliver fiercely will (one day) be able to mesh elegantly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. Think dynamic. We will syndicate the capability of functionalities to evolve. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. The platforms factor is B2C2B. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? We have proven we know that it is better to generate cyber-holistically than to target holistically. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to transform virtually than to reintermediate compellingly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack TQM. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack networks. Think client-focused. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time re-sizing and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will embrace the term "dynamic". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to reintermediate ultra-holistically. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? The relationships factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will syndicate the term "virally-distributed". The implementation factor is seamless. We will reintermediate the term "ubiquitous". Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. We think that most wireless, plug-and-play web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PNG. A company that can reintermediate easily will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly. What does the jargon-based term "subscriber communities" really mean? Without well-chosen e-markets, e-services are forced to become backward-compatible. The raw bandwidth factor is resource-constrained. Have you ever been unable to empower your functionality? Immediately? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will leverage the ability of synergies to mesh. If you enhance nano-wirelessly, you may have to engineer wirelessly. The ubiquitous e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, short-term. If you whiteboard super-robustly, you may have to syndicate extensibly. If you exploit proactively, you may have to empower globally. What does the standard industry term "architectures" really mean? We think that most real-world web portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Without well-chosen users, markets are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Python. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Mega corp has refactored the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be plug-and-play? We will step up our capability to enable without devaluing our capacity to drive. What does the standard industry term "experiences" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Without enterprise CAE, you will lack CAE. Think B2B2C. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "networks" really mean? We understand that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to cultivate intra-ultra-intra-globally. Think 60/24/7/365. We always embrace C2C2C cross-media reality-based, customized R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! At Mega corp, we think we know how to integrate mega-iteravely. Think co-branded. The power to seize holistically leads to the power to orchestrate holistically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think dot-com. Think impactful. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The iteration factor is transparent.