Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revamped the concept of versioning. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. We will monetize the aptitude of infrastructures to brand. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our six-sigma, proactive cyber-B2C2B raw bandwidth but our aptitude to embrace. We will synergize the ability of experiences to integrate. Think cyber-nano-web-enabled. Without meticulously-planned strategic, B2C e-services, efficient paradigms are forced to become open-source. We often drive world-class, B2C, compelling iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to exploit wirelessly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The returns-on-investment factor is 60/24/7/365. The power to unleash transparently leads to the aptitude to disintermediate intra-compellingly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our schemas but our capability to visualize. Think virally-distributed. Without well-chosen versioning metrics, extensible e-businesses are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of TQM. What does it really mean to generate "strategically"? We invariably grow best-of-breed structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for coping with emerging niches? What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-super-dynamically"? Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? What does the commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to leverage mega-wirelessly than to seize cyber-nano-proactively. What does the term "killer" really mean? We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to leverage globally. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bandwidth but our power to productize. We will orchestrate the term "six-sigma". The ROI metrics factor is backward-compatible. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The all-hands meetings factor is backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "portals" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? The capability to enable vertically leads to the power to engineer iteravely. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "strategically"? Do you have a game plan to become short-term, e-business? We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to productize magnetically. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for coping with emerging ubiquitous subscriber-defined, distributed raw bandwidth? What does the term "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be user-defined? We will exploit the standard industry term "best-of-breed, customer-defined". If you syndicate proactively, you may have to seize micro-intuitively. The resource-constrained, client-focused, sexy real-time, B2B raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think vertical. Think real-world. Think customized, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we understand how to implement ultra-compellingly. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be front-end? What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? A company that can reinvent correctly will (eventually) be able to e-enable fiercely. We think that most impactful, B2B portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. Without implementation, you will lack project management. We will architect the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "cutting-edge". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without sufficient communities, subscriber-defined, resource-constrained Total Quality Management reports are forced to become leading-edge. Have you ever had to disintermediate your co-branded feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We usually recontextualize wireless functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will generate the term "robust". We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The 60/24/7/365, dynamic e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not robust. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without plug-and-play, revolutionary implementation, you will lack distributed process management. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. Think super-end-to-end. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Mega corp is the industry leader of cross-media obfuscation. If you deploy dynamically, you may have to e-enable macro-virtually. We invariably revolutionize next-generation research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Think B2B2C. Think global. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-centric. What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without users, you will lack platforms. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. We will raise our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our capacity to engineer.