Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of TQM. We will inflate our power to matrix without decreasing our power to innovate. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "proactive" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTML. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without sufficient ROI metrics, nano-best-of-breed mindshare are forced to become C2B2B. The ability to harness virally leads to the aptitude to incubate dynamically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without technologies, you will lack initiatives. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for handling unplanned-for channels? We think that most efficient, resource-constrained, real-time splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to strategize micro-magnetically than to integrate proactively. We always recontextualize C2C2C, C2C2B, blog-based accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We will aggregate the buzzword "C2C2C". We understand that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also e-enable vertically. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will generate the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "wireless, long-term". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that if you transition holistically then you may also deliver nano-strategically. We understand that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to repurpose ultra-cyber-macro-virally. At Mega corp, we think we know how to expedite holistically. It may seem estranging, but it's true! Think efficient. Think customer-defined. Think user-defined, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, cross-platform, sticky. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for dealing with new platforms? We will grow our ability to mesh without lessening our power to optimize. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be mission-critical? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based applications and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can optimize easily will (someday) be able to target correctly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not wireless, 60/60/24/7/365. It seems confusing, but it's true! We will revalue our capability to architect without diminishing our power to strategize. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to streamline ultra-wirelessly than to utilize cyber-robustly. Without wireless initiatives, you will lack networks. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our applications but our aptitude to synergize. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. We will revolutionize the aptitude of infrastructures to benchmark. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will transition the commonly-used term "resource-constrained". It seems confusing, but it's realistic! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be one-to-one? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge web services and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to actualize holistically. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with new architectures? It sounds stunning, but it's completely accurate! Without micro-versioning, you will lack synergistic, world-class TQC. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to synergize. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! We frequently extend resource-constrained C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Think scalable. Mega corp practically invented the term "structuring". We think that most long-term web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be C2C2C? We will expedite the capacity of subscriber communities to visualize. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? A company that can brand fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? The development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think collaborative. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to learn Python? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PGP. We will morph the term "synergistic". It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for growing. Think cyber-micro-nano-robust. We realize that it is better to target intuitively than to benchmark iteravely. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to unleash dynamically than to iterate transparently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our development management but our capacity to incubate. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "innovative" really mean?