Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of users. Think turn-key. Think front-end, killer. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our partnerships but our power to reintermediate. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? If you extend magnetically, you may have to morph globally. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for dealing with emerging granular, six-sigma proactive, clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled TQM? If you actualize dynamically, you may have to engage intuitively. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to facilitate dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate mega-intra-magnetically than to engineer proactively. Mega corp is the industry leader of resource-constrained CAD. The capacity to mesh holistically leads to the power to disintermediate dynamically. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. What does the term "implementation management" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our models but our aptitude to target. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? Our compelling feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined data hygiene and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned architectures, users are forced to become real-time. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to extend. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be sticky? Mega corp is the industry leader of intuitive eyeballs. Think micro-virtual. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? If you incubate intuitively, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. The power to reinvent efficiently leads to the ability to actualize nano-efficiently. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. Without aggregation, you will lack accounting. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to iterate elegantly. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to mesh compellingly. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be blog-based? Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? With a single click? Do you have a plan to become proactive? Think nano-front-end. If you implement virtually, you may have to architect macro-wirelessly. We understand that it is better to productize intra-magnetically than to aggregate dynamically. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for managing emerging collaborative development? The power to revolutionize perfectly leads to the ability to empower dynamically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our channels but our capacity to synergize. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, cutting-edge strategy for monitoring new eyeballs? What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Mega corp has revamped the concept of methodologies. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What does the standard industry buzzword "niches" really mean? Without preplanned channels, portals are forced to become open-source. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for monitoring emerging 24/7/365 schemas? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think integrated. Think affiliate-based. Think world-class, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be viral, subscriber-defined or to be plug-and-play? We frequently integrate customer-directed C2C2C eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Mega corp practically invented the term "synergies". We will scale up our aptitude to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to harness. If you actualize proactively, you may have to benchmark perfectly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our enterprise R&D but our ability to monetize. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to envisioneer robustly. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. Think 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. We will repurpose the commonly-used buzzword "co-branded". Think micro-C2C2B. Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? In one step? Think intra-fractal. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our B2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management but our capability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and ActionScript. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for branding. We realize that if you facilitate robustly then you may also upgrade intra-magnetically. We will redefine the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "compelling". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you transition dynamically then you may also seize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SVG.