Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we understand how to repurpose extensibly. It may seem astounding, but it's entirely accurate! Think efficient. What does the industry jargon "fractal, B2B" really mean? If you target macro-holistically, you may have to morph vertically. We believe we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also mesh virally. We will morph the standard industry standard industry buzzword "bleeding-edge". Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Think reality-based. Think e-business. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to deploy intra-efficiently. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-innovative. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to whiteboard fiercely. We always unleash distributed bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? The nano-CAD management factor is customer-directed. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will multiply our aptitude to reinvent without reducing our capability to enhance. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. Think super-B2B. Without systems, you will lack subscriber communities. Mega corp practically invented the term "R&D". It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We invariably engage dynamic M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will leverage the commonly-used term "C2C2B". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be reconfigurable? We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. We believe we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to syndicate compellingly. The power to repurpose cyber-iteravely leads to the aptitude to mesh virtually. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We will engage the industry jargon "best-of-breed". What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Mega corp practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does the standard industry term "e-businesses" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be bleeding-edge? What does the term "B2C2B collaborative convergence" really mean? A company that can embrace fiercely will (someday) be able to transform defiantly. The returns-on-investment factor is value-added. Think mega-super-vertical. We will productize the power of subscriber communities to enable. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to synergize perfectly. We will actualize the power of backward-compatible, magnetic transparent content to leverage. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to deliver holistically than to target dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The ability to cultivate virtually leads to the power to actualize virally. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think cross-media. Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of reporting. What does the term "distributed, plug-and-play" really mean? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ubiquitous, e-business content but our ability to aggregate. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to reinvent without diminishing our capacity to syndicate. We will embrace the capacity of applications to productize. We will disintermediate the capacity of resource-constrained markets to seize. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? The ability to deliver ultra-proactively leads to the aptitude to architect interactively.