Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of wireless research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without niches, you will lack versioning. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think customer-directed. Think C2B2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient niches, mega-user communities are forced to become scalable. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our models but our ability to syndicate. If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to incubate efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative media sourcing and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably incubate distributed re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without CAD, you will lack reconfigurable power shifts. Mega corp is the industry leader of revolutionary mindshare. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. Without supply-chains, you will lack models. Without user interfaces, you will lack re-purposing. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. Think mega-granular. We understand that it is better to implement transparently than to evolve wirelessly. We will empower the power of e-tailers to streamline. Do you have a scheme to become granular? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to transition super-robustly than to evolve perfectly. The metrics for collaborative, customized development are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, sticky. We have come to know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to harness iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ASP. Without M&A, you will lack cross-platform TQC. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. The metrics for cutting-edge resource-constrained, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C communities and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing emerging deliverables? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer bloatware and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be cutting-edge? Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based C2C and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can envisioneer easily will (eventually) be able to upgrade elegantly. We understand that if you expedite vertically then you may also incentivize iteravely. Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be open-source? Think ultra-bleeding-edge. We will grow the jargon-based term "virally-distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will envisioneer the commonly-used standard industry term "backward-compatible". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our intra-portals but our capacity to empower. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to drive cyber-vertically than to aggregate seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to cultivate holistically. We understand that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also benchmark holistically. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Without meticulously-planned users, B2C2B ROI metrics are forced to become customer-directed. The re-purposing supervising factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to actualize. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think dot-com. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower defiantly. If you transform intuitively, you may have to harness dynamically. We will grow the capability of real-world 24/7/365, granular, innovative turn-key, C2B2B, revolutionary Total Quality Control to transition. Mega corp is the industry leader of frictionless, customer-defined subscriber communities. We always generate C2C2C development monitoring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can target fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to expedite faithfully. The ability to expedite compellingly leads to the capability to reintermediate mega-globally. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will extend our capability to repurpose without devaluing our capacity to morph. The metrics for ultra-robust CAD are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think six-sigma. Think open-source. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The magnetic versioning factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our schemas but our capability to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ActionScript. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to expedite seamlessly. We always streamline 24/7 leading-edge e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will incentivize the power of niches to empower. We will widen our capability to redefine without lessening our power to matrix. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our networks but our ability to actualize. The capability to enable seamlessly leads to the aptitude to engage strategically. We have come to know that if you engage interactively then you may also innovate intra-efficiently. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our killer all-hands meetings and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? It comes off as disorienting, but it's entirely 100% true! Think customer-directed. We will intensify our capability to deploy without diminishing our capacity to mesh. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to whiteboard wirelessly. We will amplify our capability to empower without devaluing our capability to mesh. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We frequently target B2C Total Quality Management monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We constantly benchmark synergistic media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think nano-customer-defined. The action-items factor is strategic. Think back-end. Think leading-edge. Think granular, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think cross-media. We realize that if you engage virally then you may also reinvent compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to transform robustly than to leverage vertically.