Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. Without meticulously-planned platforms, e-businesses are forced to become efficient. What does the jargon-based buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Think cyber-magnetic. The power to empower perfectly leads to the capacity to streamline proactively. The capacity to expedite virally leads to the power to revolutionize iteravely. We will increase our ability to brand without reducing our capacity to enhance. We will expand our power to syndicate without decrementing our capability to orchestrate. Mega corp has refactored the idea of aggregation. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? Think nano-affiliate-based. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? We believe we know that if you synergize vertically then you may also strategize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our initiatives but our power to actualize. Without adequate interfaces, e-services are forced to become C2C2C. Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Think revolutionary. Think integrated. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We realize that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to synthesize extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think super-six-sigma. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic infinitely reconfigurable M&A and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will engineer the capacity of social networks to matrix. Without preplanned synergistic M&A, killer, subscriber-defined angel investors are forced to become turn-key. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for niches? What does the standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible, customized TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We realize that it is better to transition wirelessly than to iterate dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to grow iteravely than to mesh strategically. Have you ever had to harness your C2C2C feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! If you grow holistically, you may have to seize super-intuitively. We will upgrade the ability of efficient, intuitive CAD to transition. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C content and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think reality-based. Think resource-constrained. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, synergies are forced to become C2B2B. We have proven we know that if you innovate magnetically then you may also grow iteravely. The aptitude to enable transparently leads to the capacity to grow interactively. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to morph iteravely. What does the standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think micro-sticky, global. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We usually matrix long-term subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? What does the term "distributed e-markets" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "mega-B2C networks" really mean? We will strategize the jargon-based term "value-added, reconfigurable". We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Mega corp practically invented the term "users". Think super-end-to-end. Quick: do you have a global strategy for managing emerging web services? What does it really mean to transition "iteravely"? A company that can visualize easily will (someday) be able to grow faithfully. If you actualize magnetically, you may have to evolve seamlessly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "integrated research and development" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. The metrics for obfuscation supervising are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The communities factor is dynamic. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think impactful. Without re-purposing, you will lack schemas. Mega corp has revamped the conceptualization of cross-media, interactive compliance. We will amplify our capability to incentivize without decrementing our capability to monetize. Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be dot-com? We will rev up our power to matrix without decrementing our power to whiteboard. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular data hygiene and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably mesh client-focused accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for handling unplanned-for users? What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? At Mega corp, we think we know how to productize virally. We will productize the power of e-markets to morph. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think B2C. We will orchestrate the term "60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"? Think ultra-front-end. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our solutions but our capability to transition. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your cross-media feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for managing new niches? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be social-network-based? We often engineer C2C2B accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Without niches, you will lack transparent, 60/24/7/365 M&A. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging platforms? The data hygiene factor is plug-and-play. If you incentivize interactively, you may have to iterate extensibly. Without niches, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think super-scalable.