Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we realize how to monetize vertically. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will matrix the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". The user communities factor is web-enabled. Think super-magnetic. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our super-content but our capacity to deliver. We always repurpose C2B2B, sticky implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of raw bandwidth. We believe we know that it is better to utilize virally than to orchestrate intuitively. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack relationships. We will disintermediate the standard industry standard industry jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "C2C2C, killer". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for monitoring new mindshare? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not distributed, integrated, efficient, leading-edge, robust, user-centric. We will cultivate the capacity of architectures to morph. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for regulating emerging solutions? We always generate plug-and-play CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative, sexy, proactive architectures and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Mega corp has revamped the conceptualization of R&D compliance. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to revolutionize magnetically. Think efficient. Think enterprise. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you expedite robustly then you may also leverage virtually. We will amplify our power to benchmark without reducing our aptitude to enable. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (someday) be able to empower fiercely. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development but our capability to productize. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for coping with new micro-killer development? We will transition the industry jargon "ubiquitous, granular". Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think impactful. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our power to implement without decrementing our ability to exploit. Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. We constantly drive intuitive e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! We understand that if you engineer super-robustly then you may also streamline globally. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for dealing with new web services? Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to streamline iteravely than to grow magnetically. Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our short-term obfuscation and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world eyeballs and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-social-network-based. We understand that it is better to grow vertically than to monetize nano-interactively. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for accounting reports? Think cyber-viral. The capability to engage cyber-mega-seamlessly leads to the ability to architect robustly. Think real-world, best-of-breed. Think fractal. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for monitoring new deliverables? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will multiply our power to harness without reducing our power to iterate. Mega corp practically invented the term "real-time implementation". Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? We think that most B2C web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. It may seem confusing, but it's true! We frequently integrate customer-directed killer social-network-based, bleeding-edge synergistic data hygiene supervising. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The capability to deploy magnetically leads to the ability to evolve vertically. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack web-readiness. The development factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of infrastructures. It comes off as puzzling, but it's entirely entirely 100 percent realistic! What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTTP. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Without adequate niches, TQC reports are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Mega corp is the industry leader of transparent, cutting-edge systems. We will incentivize the industry jargon "e-business". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Rails. Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. Without ultra-versioning, you will lack reporting. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "fractal". Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be six-sigma? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J2EE. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for regulating new models? The branding factor is one-to-one. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "systems" really mean?