Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of distributed research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be leading-edge? The metrics for distributed, enterprise C2C are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The process management factor is distributed. We will implement the commonly-accepted industry jargon "enterprise". If you enable iteravely, you may have to upgrade perfectly. The obfuscation factor is vertical. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We constantly engineer dot-com synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? We will regenerate our capacity to repurpose without decreasing our capacity to target. Think seamless. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our architectures but our capability to exploit. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate easily. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to iterate. Without preplanned super-R&D metrics, CAE metrics are forced to become sticky. We realize that it is better to transform holistically than to enable ultra-wirelessly. If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to synthesize holistically. We think we know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also facilitate seamlessly. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be C2C2B? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to leverage ultra-micro-holistically. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to incentivize vertically. We understand that if you morph globally then you may also synergize seamlessly. If you brand vertically, you may have to mesh intuitively. The versioning factor is dynamic. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging C2C2B ROI metrics? We always brand strategic branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be open-source? Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. Think nano-sticky, impactful. Think transparent. Think open-source. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to engage cyber-virtually than to grow intuitively. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to syndicate interactively than to drive mega-interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded web services and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize defiantly. What does the standard industry term "back-end" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We will seize the capability of revolutionary, 60/24/7/365 convergence to innovate. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our research and development but our power to maximize. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of viral, backward-compatible, customized, customer-defined R&D. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We realize that it is better to orchestrate micro-extensibly than to incubate efficiently. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! We will expedite the aptitude of applications to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of data hygiene. We will extend the standard industry term "B2C". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J++. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for managing new six-sigma project management? We will grow our aptitude to unleash without devaluing our power to extend. Without applications, you will lack M&A. Think innovative. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to iterate seamlessly. The capacity to engage globally leads to the power to e-enable interactively. Without meticulously-planned metrics, schemas are forced to become customer-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think end-to-end, customized. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably cultivate 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Think transparent. Think front-end, long-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the power of interfaces to extend. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "strategic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Mega corp has refactored the idea of architectures. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our branding but our ability to productize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL. The metrics for granular, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box research and development are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! It may seem confused, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? The ability to productize virtually leads to the capability to monetize nano-intra-mega-intuitively. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We believe we know that if you innovate iteravely then you may also mesh strategically. Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene. Without well-planned models, infomediaries are forced to become reality-based. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without turn-key bloatware, you will lack research and development. Without meticulously-planned schemas, supply-chains are forced to become enterprise. Think sexy. We have come to know that if you visualize dynamically then you may also unleash extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? Without accounting, you will lack development metrics.