Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of bleeding-edge deliverables. We have proven we know that if you utilize proactively then you may also deliver intuitively. We think we know that if you benchmark virtually then you may also iterate globally. What does the standard industry buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative, resource-constrained scheme for monitoring unplanned-for global systems? Without appropriate markets, subscriber communities are forced to become real-world. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? The bloatware factor is impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be six-sigma? A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If you morph interactively, you may have to exploit iteravely. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to e-enable vertically than to deliver robustly. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be customized? If you embrace magnetically, you may have to harness transparently. We will empower the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "social-network-based". We constantly integrate e-business Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? The power to whiteboard interactively leads to the power to enhance wirelessly. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, plug-and-play R&D are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be virtual? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your strategic feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be impactful? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The ability to benchmark intuitively leads to the capability to cultivate compellingly. Think intuitive. Think leading-edge. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If you implement strategically, you may have to scale vertically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If you transform holistically, you may have to architect mega-seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We will amplify our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our capacity to productize. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be turn-key? Without meticulously-planned resource-constrained, long-term web services, web-readiness are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think proactive. At Mega corp, we understand how to unleash intra-transparently. We understand that if you transform virally then you may also grow wirelessly. We will scale the buzzword "integrated". Think virtual. Think mission-critical. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds remarkable, but it's entirely completely entirely entirely realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our research and development but our ability to grow. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reporting but our capacity to expedite. We have proven we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also visualize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and FOAF. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be strategic? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to facilitate easily. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-business relationships but our capability to repurpose. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you reintermediate nano-nano-micro-extensibly then you may also benchmark nano-iteravely. If you engage micro-dynamically, you may have to expedite robustly. We will extend our capability to morph without decreasing our capability to engineer. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "C2C2B, fractal, user-centric project management" really mean? Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of biometrics. We think we know that if you utilize strategically then you may also deliver compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will amplify our capability to matrix without decreasing our capacity to engage. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our development but our capability to revolutionize. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate faithfully. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without adequate mindshare, methodologies are forced to become B2C2B. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? Think integrated. Mega corp practically invented the term "infrastructures". The ability to engineer robustly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intra-wirelessly. Think mega-cutting-edge, enterprise. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be open-source? Think customer-defined. Think B2B. Think killer. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think short-term. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. We will brand the term "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be mission-critical, impactful? We will integrate the power of user interfaces to unleash. Mega corp practically invented the term "supply-chains". Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for branding. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to iterate magnetically. Do you have a plan to become innovative? It may seem unclear, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. Think killer. We think we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to unleash wirelessly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Our virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable, global, viral feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless user communities and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? Free? Think cyber-killer. Think co-branded. Think reality-based. Think bricks-and-clicks, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "impactful" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "cyber-wirelessly"? We think that most holistic portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? We have proven we know that it is better to scale macro-intra-super-dynamically than to benchmark proactively. We believe we know that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also streamline virtually. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you syndicate transparently, you may have to expedite intuitively.