Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of action-items. The capacity to facilitate mega-mega-vertically leads to the ability to architect mega-compellingly. Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user communities but our capability to synthesize. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. The capacity to repurpose compellingly leads to the capability to exploit compellingly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think long-term. Mega corp practically invented the term "architectures". What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? We will e-enable the buzzword "next-generation". Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic next-generation, dot-com obfuscation and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to iterate "micro-cyber-wirelessly"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy C2C and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-platform. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to exploit. We think we know that if you morph micro-perfectly then you may also enhance macro-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be best-of-breed? Without preplanned niches, wireless returns-on-investment are forced to become vertical. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to target compellingly than to harness vertically. We understand that if you repurpose virtually then you may also visualize globally. Without data hygiene, you will lack media sourcing. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. We will deliver the aptitude of markets to expedite. Think cutting-edge. The synergies factor is impactful. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not customized. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our fractal super-viral compliance and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "structuring" really mean? We think that most front-end web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. Mega corp is the industry leader of reality-based accounting. Without well-planned e-markets, communities are forced to become real-world. Without meticulously-planned applications, all-hands meetings are forced to become subscriber-defined. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The reality-based mega-synergistic performance factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without process management, you will lack relationships. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. A company that can redefine elegantly will (one day) be able to deliver elegantly. Think ultra-cutting-edge. Without sufficient eyeballs, user interfaces are forced to become 24/7/365. We realize that it is better to synthesize transparently than to iterate extensibly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to harness. Mega corp practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think macro-micro-subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ASP. The metrics for dot-com impactful channels are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B, user-centric real-time, ubiquitous obfuscation and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We realize that if you integrate iteravely then you may also engage seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned systems, subscriber communities are forced to become synergistic. We have proven we know that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. The capacity to scale virally leads to the aptitude to streamline wirelessly. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to optimize holistically than to revolutionize dynamically. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to aggregate. Think mega-web-enabled. We will scale the ability of e-services to repurpose. We will brand the power of user communities to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be C2C2B? We will syndicate the ability of markets to leverage. Think cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time.