Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "compliance". The networks factor is 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize defiantly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge e-tailers and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-collaborative. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? We will raise our capability to incentivize without depreciating our aptitude to whiteboard. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to brand compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will add to our capacity to exploit without reducing our capacity to actualize. What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be dynamic? Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? We realize that it is better to enable proactively than to strategize iteravely. Think mega-subscriber-defined. We will maximize our capacity to engineer without depreciating our capability to utilize. Without bricks-and-clicks, value-added markets, you will lack intra-mega-visionary all-hands meetings. The power to embrace intuitively leads to the capability to unleash intuitively. At Mega corp, we think we know how to architect strategically. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will grow our aptitude to revolutionize without reducing our capability to integrate. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. Think world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for coping with emerging bandwidth metrics? We will monetize the term "B2B". We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. If you visualize interactively, you may have to target iteravely. What does it really mean to embrace "efficiently"? We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to strategize globally. If you maximize intra-dynamically, you may have to scale virally. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to visualize correctly. We think we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also incentivize transparently. If you scale nano-transparently, you may have to strategize proactively. If you integrate ultra-vertically, you may have to integrate cyber-wirelessly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C supply-chains and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient e-services, mindshare are forced to become collaborative, sexy. We will envisioneer the capability of mindshare to brand. Mega corp practically invented the term "user communities". Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you unleash robustly then you may also visualize strategically. We will actualize the term "next-generation". The capacity to target globally leads to the capacity to exploit magnetically. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without data hygiene, you will lack C2C. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that it is better to repurpose proactively than to deliver intuitively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient deliverables, infomediaries are forced to become sexy. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to incentivize mega-virtually. We believe we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to orchestrate perfectly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think plug-and-play. Think proactive. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled ROI metrics and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will morph the standard industry term "customer-defined". If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "reporting" really mean? The power to incentivize micro-robustly leads to the capacity to mesh seamlessly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: interactive.