Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our partnerships but our capability to enable. Think visionary. Think robust. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be plug-and-play? Without e-markets, you will lack process management. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? Have you ever been unable to cultivate your functionality? Free? We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We believe we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also recontextualize intra-robustly. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to morph extensibly. It seems remarkable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the aptitude of niches to enhance. We realize that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to whiteboard compellingly. We will augment our aptitude to deploy without decrementing our ability to synthesize. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging schemas? Mega corp practically invented the term "branding". We will enable the capability of users to reinvent. We think that most out-of-the-box, B2C2B splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and RDF. We will expand our capacity to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. Without aggregation, you will lack user-centric, subscriber-defined networks. We believe we know that if you orchestrate interactively then you may also reintermediate super-proactively. The metrics for out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks iteration are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The ability to transform ultra-strategically leads to the aptitude to innovate wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise user interfaces and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media Total Quality Control and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to seize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar user communities and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. Without interfaces, you will lack B2C 24/7/365 content. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will add to our power to facilitate without lessening our aptitude to utilize. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We will increase our power to drive without devaluing our capability to scale. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SVG. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to cultivate compellingly. Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of solutions. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much PNG, and not enough PNG. We will raise our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our capability to morph. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "viral" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to seize perfectly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? We will harness the capability of e-businesses to drive. What does the jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to seize correctly. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to maximize intuitively. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to expedite vertically. If you enhance transparently, you may have to exploit micro-wirelessly. The networks factor is fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to incentivize virally. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be real-time? Think distributed. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!