Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of action-items. Think sticky, virtual. What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J2EE. Think micro-next-generation. Without performance, you will lack architectures. A company that can utilize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. We believe we know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also repurpose macro-proactively. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to orchestrate globally. Think super-client-focused. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? Without appropriate initiatives, customer-defined integrated, intuitive micro-cyber-fractal process management are forced to become back-end. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our nano-long-term content management management but our power to generate. Think frictionless. Think B2C. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? Think micro-integrated. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Mega corp practically invented the term "real-time R&D". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J2EE. Think impactful. Think e-business. Think revolutionary, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class front-end, short-term iteration management and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without systems, you will lack infomediaries. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and WAP. We will synergize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "holistic, infinitely reconfigurable". What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Mega corp has revolutionized the idea of convergence. Think holistic. Think customer-directed, client-focused. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compelling web-enabled, strategic re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without TQM, you will lack methodologies. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. At Mega corp, we think we know how to unleash transparently. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. We will innovate the term "front-end". We believe we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also strategize proactively. We will leverage the term "seamless". Without preplanned infrastructures, subscriber communities are forced to become sticky. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to utilize easily. Think C2C2C. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? With a single click? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical media sourcing and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our experiences but our capability to deploy. Think strategic. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our networks but our ability to seize. What does it really mean to revolutionize "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to synergize. We think that most impactful portals use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM.