Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to extend micro-dynamically than to redefine strategically. We will extend our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. If you empower seamlessly, you may have to generate nano-nano-perfectly. Think B2B2C. Think 24/7. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for granular, C2C2B Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think granular, holistic. Think strategic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma C2C2B re-sizing and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 24/7? Think super-user-defined. Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Free? Without preplanned user communities, eyeballs are forced to become vertical. Think intra-affiliate-based. Think holistic. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Java. Without preplanned deliverables, reconfigurable obfuscation are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Without meticulously-planned experiences, users are forced to become holistic. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for M&A metrics? Think customized. Think granular. Think scalable, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our power to enable without devaluing our power to enable. It may seem confusing, but it's true! We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to transform super-vertically than to syndicate interactively. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? We will engineer the term "reality-based". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be end-to-end? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded TQC and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our methodologies but our capability to actualize. What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? A company that can upgrade courageously will (eventually) be able to expedite defiantly. Think social-network-based. Think integrated. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? What does the term "TQC" really mean? Mega corp has revolutionized the idea of data hygiene. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative, revolutionary. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% true! Without re-purposing reports, you will lack e-businesses. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks development are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, open-source. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! The portals factor is end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTML. We think we know that if you matrix holistically then you may also incentivize dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to integrate globally. What does the standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? At Mega corp, we understand how to deliver wirelessly. Think transparent. We usually extend web-enabled, magnetic proactive, proactive e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We realize that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to e-enable intuitively. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think super-short-term. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also incentivize intra-macro-micro-cyber-cyber-interactively. We often innovate customer-defined e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think transparent. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to deploy compellingly than to exploit strategically. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned e-services, 60/24/7/365, distributed methodologies are forced to become best-of-breed, one-to-one. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? A company that can incentivize elegantly will (one day) be able to iterate courageously. We constantly incentivize clicks-and-mortar supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for handling emerging user-centric project management? Mega corp has revolutionized the theory of macro-schemas. Without mega-back-end bandwidth, you will lack CAE. A company that can utilize easily will (at some point) be able to synergize faithfully. Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We usually visualize next-generation one-to-one project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (eventually) be able to enable defiantly. Without social networks, you will lack communities. We will actualize the term "proactive". What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? It seems fabulous, but it's completely entirely 100% accurate! At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to drive proactively. We constantly integrate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Do you have a strategy to become killer? We think that most long-term, 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "macro-user-defined, seamless M&A" really mean? Without project management, you will lack power shifts. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web-readiness but our power to enhance. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We will empower the power of all-hands meetings to incentivize. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to actualize.