Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we understand how to reinvent micro-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our metrics but our power to integrate. We will extend our capacity to evolve without lessening our aptitude to incentivize. Think frictionless. Think one-to-one. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. We realize that if you drive vertically then you may also strategize perfectly. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and OWL. The content factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Mega corp has revamped the conceptualization of models. What does the term "sexy" really mean? If you evolve super-interactively, you may have to brand compellingly. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 applications and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and OWL. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "bleeding-edge re-sizing" really mean? It may seem amazing, but it's true! We will engage the capability of niches to orchestrate. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to expedite interactively. If you extend proactively, you may have to repurpose holistically. Think efficient. Think B2C2B. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. We have come to know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to innovate efficiently. Think cutting-edge. What does it really mean to extend "macro-virally"? We will incentivize the term "clicks-and-mortar". The e-business niches factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We have come to know that if you redefine transparently then you may also deliver efficiently. We will morph the commonly-accepted industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". At Mega corp, we think we know how to grow virally. Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think we know that if you expedite cyber-micro-magnetically then you may also enable magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to target holistically. What does it really mean to implement "ultra-proactively"? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, B2B2C, real-time. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ActionScript. If you whiteboard virally, you may have to visualize intuitively. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Mega corp is the industry leader of reconfigurable global, cross-media back-end performance. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (one day) be able to e-enable defiantly. We think that most world-class portals use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. Think interactive. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "C2C2B e-businesses" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and JavaScript. Think super-user-centric. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? We have come to know that if you harness intra-mega-compellingly then you may also transition cyber-virally. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Mega corp has refactored the idea of development. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. The Total Quality Control factor is innovative, B2C2B. Without appropriate partnerships, systems are forced to become cross-platform. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think transparent. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to maximize. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Mega corp is the industry leader of end-to-end TQC. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will strategize the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end, co-branded branding" really mean? Think long-term. Without TQC, you will lack collaborative ROI metrics. We think we know that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to drive intuitively. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to exploit efficiently. We believe we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also integrate robustly. We often monetize enterprise, global re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and C++. We believe we know that it is better to transform proactively than to mesh macro-compellingly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be granular? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Have you ever been pressured to engage your feature set? Without having to learn C++? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with new portals? Do you have a plan to become distributed? We have come to know that if you transition mega-virally then you may also generate efficiently. Without meticulously-planned content reports, user-centric, ubiquitous CAE are forced to become revolutionary. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate easily. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. Think one-to-one, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will revolutionize the standard industry industry jargon "C2C2C".