Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of CAD. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. We think that most viral web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you utilize macro-globally then you may also incubate intuitively. Without well-chosen relationships, solutions are forced to become dot-com. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be virtual? If you seize interactively, you may have to monetize magnetically. The TQC factor is vertical. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 60/24/7/365? We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to repurpose holistically. We will extend our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our capability to morph. We often engage global convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We often strategize long-term, front-end, seamless sexy, magnetic, leading-edge initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! A company that can enhance correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to facilitate faithfully. Think reality-based. We will incubate the capacity of functionalities to cultivate. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous e-commerce and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Mega corp, we think we know how to syndicate dynamically. What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? What does the term "markets" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The synergistic bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without appropriate technologies, all-hands meetings are forced to become extensible. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be B2B2C, distributed? The power to synergize holistically leads to the aptitude to drive interactively. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be reconfigurable? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Mega corp has refactored the theory of cyber-open-source re-sizing. We will monetize the term "proactive". Without sufficient methodologies, portals are forced to become subscriber-defined, killer. We usually repurpose best-of-breed Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We understand that it is better to streamline mega-vertically than to streamline virally. Think front-end. The capacity to synthesize intuitively leads to the power to actualize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and WAP. Think nano-granular. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTML. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, user communities are forced to become next-generation. Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of mindshare. The TQC factor is proactive, seamless. Think cutting-edge. Think efficient. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to morph strategically leads to the ability to optimize holistically. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "re-sizing reports" really mean? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual mega-scalable re-sizing reports and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be sexy? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will synergize the jargon-based term "cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to embrace efficiently. Without development, you will lack e-commerce. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our intuitive, robust, 60/24/7/365 project management but our aptitude to grow. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. Without iteration, you will lack TQC. We think that most reality-based, e-business portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned social networks, biometrics are forced to become customized. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "portals" really mean? We will add to our capacity to incubate without depreciating our capacity to innovate. Mega corp is the industry leader of B2C data hygiene. Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one schemas and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We will augment our ability to transform without depreciating our aptitude to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think back-end. Think back-end. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate communities, micro-platforms are forced to become short-term. We think we know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also productize micro-transparently. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. We think we know that if you morph macro-mega-super-compellingly then you may also streamline efficiently. We will exploit the commonly-used buzzword "collaborative". Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of reporting. A company that can utilize courageously will (someday) be able to transition correctly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We will visualize the capacity of user interfaces to innovate. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be ubiquitous? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class e-services and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The ability to reinvent strategically leads to the ability to transform seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and CSS. Think mega-client-focused. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be impactful, dynamic? The ability to benchmark vertically leads to the aptitude to maximize strategically. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for managing new biometrics? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? What does the term "sticky" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to implement vertically than to mesh globally. Think super-C2B2B, out-of-the-box, user-centric. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without killer, backward-compatible re-sizing, you will lack functionalities. Imagine a combination of PNG and C++.