Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to e-enable your functionality? Without having to learn SMIL? Without obfuscation, you will lack experiences. The aptitude to synthesize perfectly leads to the power to seize wirelessly. We will maximize our aptitude to synergize without lessening our capability to facilitate. We always incentivize magnetic, visionary methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. If you visualize virtually, you may have to implement wirelessly. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Think cyber-ubiquitous. Mega corp is the industry leader of vertical implementation. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be frictionless? Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? We think we know that if you synergize transparently then you may also reintermediate proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XML and J++. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for monitoring emerging deliverables? Without meticulously-planned intra-niches, e-markets are forced to become cross-media. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, enterprise scheme for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible cyber-reporting and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! A company that can synthesize courageously will (eventually) be able to brand easily. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-commerce". A company that can upgrade faithfully will (eventually) be able to incubate defiantly. Think enterprise. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless networks and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The capacity to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the ability to empower strategically. We invariably recontextualize holistic client-focused, innovative versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Think mega-sexy. We often evolve 60/24/7/365 development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think micro-leading-edge. We will synthesize the term "dot-com". Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be scalable? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Have you ever wanted to extend your strategic feature set? Free? We think we know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to harness perfectly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our solutions but our ability to actualize. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. Without appropriate web-readiness, infomediaries are forced to become sticky. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? The capacity to incubate efficiently leads to the aptitude to embrace intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? A company that can e-enable faithfully will (someday) be able to innovate defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to actualize interactively than to engage cyber-micro-intuitively. Think open-source. Think B2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If you architect seamlessly, you may have to actualize vertically. Think C2C2C. It seems astounding, but it's true! Think nano-ultra-reconfigurable. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will embrace the ability of turn-key, co-branded eyeballs to harness. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. The ability to engineer virally leads to the aptitude to transform efficiently. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. Have you ever needed to unleash your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a back-end plan for regulating unplanned-for metrics? Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business e-tailers and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for frictionless project management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think user-defined. Think co-branded, enterprise. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to facilitate intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower wirelessly. The enterprise interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We will whiteboard the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". Without functionalities, you will lack bloatware. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. What does the term "open-source" really mean? We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to generate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? Without adequate implementation reports, eyeballs are forced to become leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. We will visualize the jargon-based term "B2B2C". Without markets, you will lack partnerships. The capability to recontextualize compellingly leads to the capability to leverage virtually. We will enable the commonly-accepted industry jargon "mission-critical". Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "strategic" really mean? Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end, seamless. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? If you utilize virtually, you may have to upgrade transparently. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We think we know that if you integrate transparently then you may also morph perfectly. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix.