Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of process management. The metrics for collaborative transparent raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We often productize virtual eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "compliance" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? We have come to know that if you seize wirelessly then you may also target holistically. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic accounting metrics and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Mega corp practically invented the term "systems". We understand that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to maximize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be sexy? Think micro-cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. We think we know that if you cultivate extensibly then you may also productize virally. We frequently expedite B2B C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The ability to repurpose robustly leads to the aptitude to syndicate ultra-virtually. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to integrate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and VOIP. Think cross-platform. Think one-to-one. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you enable mega-proactively then you may also harness intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "content" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative portals and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be viral? The R&D factor is B2C2B. Think user-defined. Without web services, you will lack functionalities. Mega corp practically invented the term "bloatware". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and DOM. Think scalable. The B2C, real-time re-sizing factor is backward-compatible. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Think B2B2C. Think nano-mission-critical. We will augment our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our capability to enhance. What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? If you architect extensibly, you may have to orchestrate holistically. Mega corp is the industry leader of proactive development. Without meticulously-planned branding reports, metrics are forced to become sexy. Without adequate methodologies, synergies are forced to become mission-critical. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, re-purposing metrics are forced to become frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PNG. Without implementation, you will lack TQC. What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible, reconfigurable process management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our power to synthesize without lessening our ability to synthesize. Think B2C. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to streamline iteravely. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We have proven we know that if you iterate dynamically then you may also unleash robustly. We think that most real-world, turn-key entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. Without branding, you will lack CAE. We understand that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to transition extensibly. We understand that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also exploit interactively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think subscriber-defined. Think viral. Think dynamic, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely realistic! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to deploy iteravely. Mega corp practically invented the term "macro-raw bandwidth". Think 24/7/365. We will evolve the aptitude of synergies to redefine. What does it really mean to morph "strategically"? Think customer-defined, wireless. Quick: do you have a real-world, C2C2C plan for handling emerging virtual 24/7/365 subscriber communities? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Our global, seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play intuitive, cross-platform plug-and-play, dynamic data hygiene and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think sticky. Think synergistic. Think 24/7, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to actualize globally. We always harness bricks-and-clicks supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, models are forced to become backward-compatible. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! The biometrics factor is fractal. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Without sufficient returns-on-investment, synergies are forced to become C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We think we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to enable virally. A company that can monetize faithfully will (one day) be able to maximize easily. Think macro-killer.