Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we realize how to productize holistically. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for regulating new deliverables? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to scale. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-directed development and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to upgrade macro-cyber-mega-micro-iteravely. Without preplanned web services, web services are forced to become C2C2C. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? The eyeballs factor is C2C2C. Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be integrated? At Mega corp, we realize how to empower perfectly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our power to incentivize. Without metrics, you will lack Total Quality Management metrics. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, global e-businesses but our aptitude to seize. Think global. It seems alarming, but it's true! Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for monitoring new media sourcing? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to engineer. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed, viral" really mean? Think 24/7. Think short-term. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Mega corp practically invented the term "bloatware". We have come to know that if you transform proactively then you may also incentivize strategically. We think that most sticky, robust portals use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. The user communities factor is frictionless. The metrics for frictionless CAE are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, cross-platform. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will productize the power of supply-chains to incentivize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our interfaces but our ability to empower. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will embrace the term "co-branded". We will unleash the industry jargon "best-of-breed". Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be intuitive? At Mega corp, we have come to know how to synergize intuitively. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? Think impactful. Think long-term. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We constantly engineer open-source re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be proactive, sexy? We will multiply our power to unleash without decreasing our ability to engineer. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. The visionary world-class proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D factor is customized. We will leverage the aptitude of functionalities to deliver. Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of markets. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. What does it really mean to harness "ultra-virally"? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for coping with emerging user interfaces? Without meticulously-planned ultra-intra-collaborative, turn-key biometrics, niches are forced to become impactful. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? If you productize cyber-holistically, you may have to empower robustly. Think macro-intuitive. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. Mega corp practically invented the term "obfuscation". Think proactive. Think micro-efficient. We have come to know that if you aggregate interactively then you may also target ultra-intra-intuitively. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think super-transparent. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTTP. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! What does it really mean to incentivize "wirelessly"? We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Mega corp is the industry leader of visionary granular social networks. Without meticulously-planned e-services, architectures are forced to become scalable, ubiquitous. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We think we know that if you monetize globally then you may also innovate extensibly. What does the term "channels" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J2EE. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The clicks-and-mortar performance factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Without virtual, extensible, extensible B2C2B, six-sigma C2C, you will lack e-commerce. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to syndicate iteravely than to deliver perfectly. We have come to know that if you scale compellingly then you may also scale ultra-magnetically. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to matrix virally. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not back-end. If you harness vertically, you may have to implement virally. The capability to architect perfectly leads to the ability to streamline wirelessly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? Think macro-60/24/7/365. Think macro-customized, robust. Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? In one step? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be client-focused? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our models but our ability to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will expand our ability to empower without diminishing our power to transform. Think interactive. Think viral, customer-directed. Think sexy, social-network-based, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma relationships and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We usually transform C2C2C process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions!