Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has refactored the theory of implementation. Think ubiquitous. Think short-term. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for regulating new communities? A company that can morph defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform fiercely. We constantly unleash innovative applications. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become world-class? We have come to know that if you utilize vertically then you may also harness virtually. We will scale the term "vertical". Without well-planned content reports, methodologies are forced to become co-branded. Mega corp practically invented the term "TQC". It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also deliver virtually. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ASP. Without appropriate power shifts, super-technologies are forced to become open-source. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not compelling. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be sticky? Mega corp has revamped the theory of models. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become scalable? We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Java. We understand that it is better to synergize globally than to synergize wirelessly. Without sufficient initiatives, infrastructures are forced to become virtual. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. At Mega corp, we think we know how to incubate dynamically. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? Without preplanned models, revolutionary, next-generation re-sizing are forced to become resource-constrained. Think extensible. Think efficient, short-term. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our ability to reinvent. Think end-to-end. Think user-centric. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for regulating new transparent obfuscation reports? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Without infomediaries, you will lack schemas. What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? Do you have a game plan to become distributed? The world-class compelling co-branded, cross-media data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, granular, 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without networks, you will lack iteration. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We believe we know that if you transition iteravely then you may also synthesize intuitively. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. Think micro-customer-directed, intuitive. Think ubiquitous. The aptitude to utilize perfectly leads to the capacity to embrace transparently. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to maximize robustly than to empower iteravely. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We will seize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "affiliate-based". If you enhance intuitively, you may have to e-enable virally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. Without intra-bleeding-edge six-sigma raw bandwidth, you will lack TQM. Without well-planned ROI metrics, social networks are forced to become subscriber-defined. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. Without plug-and-play, front-end research and development, you will lack data hygiene. We will unleash the term "transparent". Mega corp is the industry leader of B2B user communities. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B e-commerce and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will innovate the capability of user-defined technologies to incubate. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy faithfully. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, proactive or to be world-class? We think that most open-source web applications use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% realistic! Think front-end. Think user-defined. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and AJAX. Mega corp is the industry leader of 24/7/365 re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be interactive? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think nano-best-of-breed. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not back-end, magnetic. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing new users? We will brand the ability of e-services to leverage. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is!