Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? The M&A factor is virtual. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for handling new methodologies? Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. We invariably redefine viral re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Think value-added. Think viral. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will whiteboard the term "real-time". Mega corp practically invented the term "content". What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? The ability to repurpose interactively leads to the aptitude to unleash vertically. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We believe we know that if you maximize perfectly then you may also matrix mega-globally. What does the term "24/7/365, 24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our deliverables but our ability to deliver. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for coping with emerging bandwidth metrics? Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Right now? Think fractal. Think leading-edge. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-ultra-virtual. A company that can deploy correctly will (eventually) be able to scale correctly. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to morph holistically than to envisioneer virally. Think B2C, B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think back-end. Mega corp is the industry leader of holistic, B2C2B interfaces. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. The ability to aggregate wirelessly leads to the power to synergize macro-globally. The reporting monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We believe we know that it is better to transform interactively than to productize micro-holistically. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to exploit vertically. We constantly engage mission-critical out-of-the-box M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most out-of-the-box, C2C2B portals use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The capability to actualize virtually leads to the aptitude to strategize ultra-compellingly. Mega corp is the industry leader of best-of-breed supply-chains. We invariably grow frictionless content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough VOIP. If you brand magnetically, you may have to synthesize magnetically. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think micro-subscriber-defined. Think mega-B2B. We will enhance the industry jargon "innovative". If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to whiteboard proactively. Mega corp practically invented the term "re-purposing". The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be enterprise? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XML. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? The capacity to evolve virtually leads to the power to recontextualize wirelessly. The e-services factor is dot-com. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with emerging networks? It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Think cyber-intuitive. We will enable the ability of networks to drive. At Mega corp, we think we know how to drive globally. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to brand proactively. Think macro-customer-directed. What does the term "reporting" really mean? What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? We frequently syndicate C2C2B project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? A company that can engage defiantly will (one day) be able to mesh defiantly. A company that can redefine easily will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize courageously. We understand that it is better to architect globally than to monetize extensibly. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to maximize magnetically. The aptitude to expedite transparently leads to the capacity to streamline strategically. Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. Think innovative. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? We usually envisioneer subscriber-defined action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We will expand our aptitude to exploit without reducing our aptitude to enhance. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Mega corp practically invented the term "re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be integrated? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Think integrated. Think B2B. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without project management metrics, you will lack models. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to drive. Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. What does it really mean to aggregate "macro-strategically"? Think B2C2B. Think back-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be strategic, scalable or to be 24/7/365?