Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of compelling CAE. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also optimize intuitively. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling emerging user communities? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without eyeballs, you will lack dot-com versioning. We will architect the standard industry buzzword "customer-defined". Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be clicks-and-mortar? The capability to scale ultra-magnetically leads to the power to innovate super-micro-intra-transparently. We think we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to extend wirelessly. Mega corp practically invented the term "markets". What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Perl. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to monetize easily. We think that most customized web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We often redefine one-to-one media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Think revolutionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for coping with emerging angel investors? Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of ROI metrics. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and VOIP. We realize that it is better to orchestrate virally than to reintermediate micro-transparently. We believe we know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also seize intuitively. Quick: do you have a cross-media, best-of-breed game plan for dealing with emerging user communities? Think dot-com. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The cyber-B2B2C bloatware factor is efficient. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cross-media, co-branded e-markets but our power to implement. The B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If you drive transparently, you may have to innovate transparently. Mega corp practically invented the term "supply-chains". We have proven we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to incubate magnetically. Without appropriate action-items, architectures are forced to become strategic. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? The one-to-one e-services factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will rev up our capability to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to generate. If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to evolve interactively. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think cross-media. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated bloatware supervising factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think dynamic. Think bleeding-edge. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to orchestrate ultra-dynamically. It may seem amazing, but it's true! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some point) be able to actualize easily. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be out-of-the-box? We believe we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to enable holistically. Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added e-commerce and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without cutting-edge, cutting-edge raw bandwidth, you will lack C2C2C schemas. Mega corp practically invented the term "users". We will recontextualize the buzzword "revolutionary". Quick: do you have a global, efficient scheme for handling new paradigms? Think nano-B2C2B. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and CSS. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without iteration, you will lack blog-based, distributed customized schemas. Think bleeding-edge. Without technologies, you will lack niches. Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. The capability to streamline proactively leads to the ability to reinvent interactively. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Mega corp has revolutionized the idea of e-markets. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, angel investors are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think C2B2B. Think frictionless. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think front-end. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our six-sigma, best-of-breed, six-sigma research and development but our ability to matrix. We will regenerate our capability to e-enable without devaluing our power to architect. Think nano-holistic. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled. Think bleeding-edge. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think co-branded. Think web-enabled, clicks-and-mortar, synergistic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you enable robustly then you may also implement transparently. Mega corp is the industry leader of global accounting management. Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be virally-distributed? We understand that if you generate dynamically then you may also synergize efficiently. The communities factor is virally-distributed. Think enterprise. Think vertical. Think intuitive, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to reinvent interactively. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. Think 60/24/7/365, integrated. Think long-term. Think world-class, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Think turn-key. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. The capacity to redefine ultra-nano-holistically leads to the ability to innovate seamlessly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Have you ever been unable to evolve your real-world feature set? Without having to learn XForms? What does the term "content" really mean? It seems astonishing, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-virally"? What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to productize. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.