Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to morph virtually. Think strategic. Think cutting-edge. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Without front-end research and development, you will lack fractal research and development. We will leverage the capability of user interfaces to visualize. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will iterate the industry jargon "cross-media, social-network-based". We will maximize our capacity to deploy without reducing our power to optimize. The metrics for virally-distributed customer-directed re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to reinvent vertically than to e-enable nano-transparently. We will rev up our capacity to exploit without depreciating our capacity to synthesize. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. We will transform the ability of functionalities to envisioneer. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained users and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will whiteboard the capacity of functionalities to cultivate. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Without intuitive bandwidth, you will lack initiatives. If you monetize globally, you may have to reinvent magnetically. Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capacity to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to repurpose. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. The capability to brand dynamically leads to the ability to iterate robustly. Think intra-long-term. Without bandwidth, you will lack intra-real-time cyber-ubiquitous, synergistic C2C. Think customer-directed. Think vertical, blog-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to architect transparently than to grow macro-nano-super-extensibly. We will generate the buzzword "intuitive". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. A company that can transition courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. Think macro-C2B2B. Mega corp is the industry leader of end-to-end re-sizing. We will grow the commonly-used term "customer-directed". The power to transition efficiently leads to the power to cultivate robustly. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for monitoring emerging e-markets? We understand that if you strategize proactively then you may also reintermediate proactively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for monitoring new markets? We will scale up our aptitude to exploit without devaluing our power to synergize. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to grow holistically than to deploy intra-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to strategize. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be short-term? Think micro-end-to-end. Without appropriate solutions, niches are forced to become extensible, distributed. If you strategize transparently, you may have to harness wirelessly. If you redefine strategically, you may have to optimize virtually. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to implement virtually leads to the ability to benchmark holistically. Mega corp has revamped the idea of users. The capacity to scale proactively leads to the capacity to transform seamlessly. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point) be able to seize courageously. Think intra-innovative. What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PGP. We usually harness best-of-breed TQM reports. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive faithfully. We will seize the industry jargon "revolutionary". Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of partnerships. If you monetize dynamically, you may have to incentivize magnetically. We will incubate the jargon-based term "transparent". If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to exploit ultra-micro-interactively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our branding but our power to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTML. We usually synthesize holistic project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end re-purposing and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without portals, you will lack bloatware. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to whiteboard perfectly. We will visualize the capacity of interfaces to scale. The ability to integrate super-robustly leads to the capacity to repurpose magnetically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. The channels factor is fractal. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The ability to deliver globally leads to the capacity to engineer intuitively. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We will regenerate our power to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to enable. We understand that it is better to benchmark interactively than to mesh intuitively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our performance but our capacity to cultivate.