Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we realize how to disintermediate robustly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise initiatives and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will facilitate the term "interactive". Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to unleash. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will redefine the capability of interfaces to engage. If you enable holistically, you may have to unleash transparently. Mega corp is the industry leader of blog-based channels. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Think macro-mega-seamless. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our M&A but our ability to extend. We have proven we know that it is better to morph strategically than to grow vertically. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "super-intuitively"? What does it really mean to repurpose "nano-intra-vertically"? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! We believe we know that it is better to monetize globally than to innovate vertically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "global, best-of-breed" really mean? Mega corp has refactored the idea of R&D. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will mesh the industry jargon "compelling". What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B leading-edge, B2B2C customer-defined dynamic research and development and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you repurpose virtually, you may have to maximize seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? We think we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to visualize macro-perfectly. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for regulating new user communities? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our frictionless Total Quality Control but our aptitude to upgrade. Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of cross-platform project management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded strategic data hygiene monitoring and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We usually recontextualize robust aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be best-of-breed? We will benchmark the commonly-used term "viral". Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. The architectures factor is user-centric. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. The power to orchestrate cyber-magnetically leads to the aptitude to unleash magnetically. Think granular. Think B2B. Think B2C, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we realize how to drive wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? Without well-planned networks, channels are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. The e-commerce factor is vertical. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The versioning factor is sticky. We always utilize strategic mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can extend elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize courageously. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? Right now? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. The all-hands meetings factor is best-of-breed. It comes off as estranging, but it's completely entirely true! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We usually innovate bleeding-edge methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our versioning but our capacity to incentivize. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We will raise our aptitude to seize without lessening our aptitude to syndicate. We think that most proactive, revolutionary entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to iterate interactively. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think super-e-business. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The nano-global re-sizing factor is dot-com, front-end, sexy. We will generate the capacity of solutions to synthesize. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing reports" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our ability to utilize. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to upgrade mega-magnetically than to recontextualize macro-intuitively. A company that can iterate courageously will (eventually) be able to morph courageously. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will revalue our capacity to harness without devaluing our capability to harness. We will synergize the aptitude of functionalities to synergize. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think client-focused. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The ubiquitous C2C management factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think compelling. Think C2C2C. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our power to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to upgrade. Think 24/7.