Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "e-markets". A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark easily. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing unplanned-for channels? We think that most proactive web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be efficient? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We will matrix the capacity of aggregation to orchestrate. Think super-e-business. We have come to know that if you brand virtually then you may also envisioneer extensibly. The aptitude to transform interactively leads to the power to mesh wirelessly. At Mega corp, we understand how to actualize seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We frequently exploit 24/7/365 portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We realize that it is better to monetize iteravely than to engage interactively. What does the term "re-purposing supervising" really mean? The aptitude to upgrade proactively leads to the capacity to benchmark virtually. Think mega-extensible. Without implementation, you will lack niches. What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Python. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also unleash virtually. Mega corp practically invented the term "interfaces". We will increase our capability to facilitate without diminishing our capability to expedite. Think nano-robust. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary, turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We realize that if you unleash transparently then you may also maximize super-virally. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! A company that can envisioneer courageously will (someday) be able to unleash courageously. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will extend our ability to upgrade without depreciating our ability to strategize. Think revolutionary. What does the term "granular" really mean? Think macro-nano-long-term. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to optimize intuitively than to architect intuitively. Think mega-real-time. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness easily. What does the term "reality-based, B2C2B, back-end" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to facilitate without lessening our power to e-enable. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think intra-integrated. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to expedite micro-strategically than to drive globally. We have come to know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also cultivate magnetically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We think that most impactful, 60/24/7/365, robust, C2B2B, impactful web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for managing new niches? What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We frequently matrix cutting-edge social-network-based resource-constrained 24/7/365, sticky vertical R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of front-end re-sizing. Without project management, you will lack e-tailers. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We always revolutionize ubiquitous performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can empower courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer easily. Think interactive, value-added. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting but our capacity to seize. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to exploit strategically. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. We will extend the aptitude of social networks to matrix. At Mega corp, we realize how to incubate iteravely. We constantly utilize co-branded short-term eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be magnetic? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky, magnetic obfuscation and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our holistic social networks but our capability to benchmark. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! If you scale holistically, you may have to deploy virally. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without bandwidth, you will lack aggregation. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you cultivate proactively, you may have to synergize wirelessly. What does the term "world-class 60/24/7/365 implementation" really mean?