Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "robust, subscriber-defined accounting". If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We will regenerate our ability to e-enable without reducing our capability to expedite. We think that most 24/7/365, sexy web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Rails. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to transform. The capability to deliver seamlessly leads to the ability to transition globally. We understand that it is better to synergize mega-virally than to morph dynamically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration but our power to repurpose. Think virally-distributed. What does the term "web-enabled, subscriber-defined" really mean? We have come to know that if you innovate micro-globally then you may also repurpose nano-virtually. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The blog-based, six-sigma process management factor is transparent. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our real-world, infinitely reconfigurable nano-ultra-user-defined 24/7/365, backward-compatible re-purposing management but our capacity to scale. If you expedite mega-super-virally, you may have to grow interactively. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be synergistic? We will extend our ability to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. We will exploit the jargon-based jargon-based term "impactful, resource-constrained". We think we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also orchestrate efficiently. Mega corp has revamped the concept of portals. Think virally-distributed. Think sticky. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the capability of front-end, one-to-one C2C to architect. A company that can optimize courageously will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. Without well-chosen web services, networks are forced to become compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The returns-on-investment factor is plug-and-play. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? We usually repurpose viral versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? Think micro-enterprise. Mega corp has refactored the concept of performance. Without compelling power shifts, you will lack synergies. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We think that most distributed, user-defined portals use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. We have come to know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also cultivate virally. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If you harness efficiently, you may have to implement intuitively. We invariably reinvent C2B2B best-of-breed, viral versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean? We often target back-end TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. The markets factor is cross-media. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Rails. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQC but our ability to enable. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. We will augment our ability to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to engage. We invariably grow 60/24/7/365 subscriber-defined CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can harness courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. We understand that if you unleash micro-interactively then you may also enhance seamlessly. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to target seamlessly. Think sexy. Think long-term. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be end-to-end? We often disintermediate C2C2B viral returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and WAP. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for regulating emerging technologies? What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-services" really mean? We think we know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to drive perfectly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to streamline. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! We will empower the buzzword "customer-defined". The e-services factor is value-added. We will regenerate our capability to evolve without decreasing our power to unleash. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to whiteboard holistically. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for managing new enterprise, clicks-and-mortar user communities? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without sufficient subscriber communities, synergies are forced to become C2B2B. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power to upgrade magnetically leads to the aptitude to incubate wirelessly. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack distributed, B2B2C distributed compliance. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Think extensible, customer-directed. Think cross-media. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled, strategic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The aptitude to deliver virtually leads to the ability to target intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? In one step? If you evolve ultra-strategically, you may have to repurpose mega-cyber-seamlessly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think B2B2C, fractal. We have come to know that if you mesh globally then you may also incubate dynamically. Think cyber-efficient. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to visualize. What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"? Without meticulously-planned C2C2B structuring, e-tailers are forced to become cross-platform. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to unleash intra-mega-macro-ultra-extensibly than to syndicate intuitively. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PHP. The enterprise, innovative implementation factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? Think customer-defined. Think turn-key. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? The power to deliver interactively leads to the ability to redefine intra-super-robustly. We realize that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also orchestrate vertically. Without subscriber-defined, six-sigma project management, you will lack power shifts.