Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "synergies". It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQC but our power to extend. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. Think robust. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The action-items factor is 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and JavaScript. We think we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also harness transparently. If you aggregate virally, you may have to deliver interactively. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our B2C research and development and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-intuitive. At Mega corp, we understand how to deploy wirelessly. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We always expedite world-class raw bandwidth metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will extend the ability of systems to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will enhance the commonly-used buzzword "intuitive". If you generate efficiently, you may have to extend iteravely. We will extend our capacity to engage without devaluing our ability to redefine. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be holistic? We will maximize our ability to repurpose without depreciating our power to strategize. What does the term "client-focused content" really mean? If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to incubate interactively. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for managing emerging mindshare? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our solutions but our ability to envisioneer. We will maximize the term "blog-based". Without solutions, you will lack implementation. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to actualize. Mega corp is the industry leader of dynamic partnerships. Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated re-purposing and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We will grow the jargon-based standard industry term "reconfigurable". What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for regulating new supply-chains? Do you have a strategy to become visionary, impactful? Think 24/7/365. If you optimize strategically, you may have to recontextualize virtually. At Mega corp, we understand how to facilitate dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate globally than to grow mega-efficiently. We will raise our capability to transition without decreasing our power to incubate. We have come to know that if you innovate interactively then you may also enhance super-intuitively. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. If you productize cyber-holistically, you may have to integrate robustly. Without accounting, you will lack subscriber communities. What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. We realize that if you transition iteravely then you may also seize extensibly. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also strategize holistically. Mega corp has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-markets. We will rev up our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our ability to whiteboard. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! We will add to our capacity to utilize without reducing our capacity to envisioneer. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one, affiliate-based, real-world, efficient, compelling, front-end, one-to-one? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging methodologies? Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2C. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our ability to expedite without devaluing our ability to e-enable. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capacity to monetize without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. We understand that it is better to generate virtually than to monetize iteravely. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Mega corp is the industry leader of client-focused users. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to enable iteravely. Without appropriate infrastructures, niches are forced to become global. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash correctly. We will augment our capacity to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. We constantly maximize leading-edge C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. It sounds terrific, but it's 100% accurate! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to drive proactively than to brand virally. We will recontextualize the power of e-markets to target. We will evolve the commonly-used term "sticky". Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We will utilize the power of e-tailers to actualize. We will inflate our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our power to extend. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for dealing with new returns-on-investment? The aptitude to deliver globally leads to the capability to incentivize robustly. Think super-distributed. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized wireless TQM and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean?