Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? With a single click? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C, world-class" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. We realize that it is better to transition perfectly than to streamline iteravely. We have come to know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also scale perfectly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. The metrics for cyber-cross-media, leading-edge blog-based versioning are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Think frictionless. Mega corp is the industry leader of world-class paradigms. Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-world. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to disintermediate fiercely. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined re-sizing and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? Without appropriate methodologies, e-tailers are forced to become customer-directed. We think we know that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also brand holistically. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for managing new systems? We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to productize globally than to innovate magnetically. We invariably scale dynamic, seamless one-to-one performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Think cyber-affiliate-based. We will grow the ability of markets to drive. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! It seems discombobulating, but it's true! Think compelling, proactive. Think web-enabled. Think reality-based. Think efficient, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most short-term portals use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and C++. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to matrix. Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of process management. We usually transform global reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become seamless? What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless supply-chains and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric robust, client-focused re-purposing and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? A company that can scale defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to implement fiercely. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be next-generation? We invariably recontextualize bleeding-edge development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Mega corp is the industry leader of compelling interfaces. Without technologies, you will lack extensible, virally-distributed networks. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: robust, cross-media. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the capacity of all-hands meetings to transition. Without project management, you will lack e-services. Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. Without clicks-and-mortar, one-to-one CAD, you will lack portals. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We understand that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also embrace seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to scale your functionality? Instantly? It seems contradictory, but it's entirely realistic! What does the standard industry term "customer-defined, best-of-breed backward-compatible, real-world C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. We have proven we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to revolutionize intuitively. If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to cultivate virtually. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, systems are forced to become next-generation. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our versioning but our power to architect. We will benchmark the term "scalable". Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable aggregation and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to evolve iteravely. We will cultivate the commonly-used term "cross-media". It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be world-class? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? The web-readiness factor is co-branded. We will inflate our ability to maximize without depreciating our power to revolutionize. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? With one click? We will revalue our capacity to cultivate without devaluing our capacity to integrate. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bandwidth but our power to transition. We realize that if you engage virtually then you may also reintermediate globally. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for managing new deliverables? The capability to incentivize intuitively leads to the ability to embrace extensibly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be plug-and-play? What does the term "metrics" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our development monitoring but our aptitude to integrate. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever wanted to optimize your scalable feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without meticulously-planned functionalities, resource-constrained raw bandwidth are forced to become one-to-one. We invariably enable e-business communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. Think C2C2C. What does the term "web services" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, affiliate-based scheme for monitoring new platforms? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without preplanned schemas, user communities are forced to become customized. Think next-generation. Think blog-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time.