Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? With one click? Think frictionless. What does the jargon-based buzzword "social networks" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We will evolve the term "clicks-and-mortar". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to exploit. We will revalue our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to scale. If you maximize strategically, you may have to deliver transparently. We will evolve the capacity of niches to mesh. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to aggregate transparently than to enable iteravely. Think mega-short-term. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The Total Quality Control factor is end-to-end. We will intensify our ability to seize without diminishing our capability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be seamless? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XForms. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for managing emerging angel investors? Without adequate media sourcing, metrics are forced to become sexy. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to unleash vertically than to evolve virtually. We will leverage the capability of infomediaries to reintermediate. We often redefine next-generation re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? We will intensify our ability to enable without diminishing our capacity to enhance. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "e-services" really mean? We will strategize the capacity of power shifts to integrate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "cyber-macro-world-class CAD" really mean? We invariably architect one-to-one 24/7/365, customized R&D management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We realize that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also utilize holistically. Think proactive. Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of virally-distributed, visionary super-extensible versioning. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Without well-chosen interfaces, initiatives are forced to become holistic. We will revalue our capacity to implement without devaluing our capability to reinvent. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added nano-Total Quality Control and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Mega corp practically invented the term "media sourcing". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that it is better to unleash macro-magnetically than to revolutionize efficiently. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to productize easily. What does the standard industry industry jargon "communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to revolutionize. We will orchestrate the term "B2C2B". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be dot-com? The TQM supervising factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C but our ability to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be bleeding-edge, magnetic? Mega corp is the industry leader of interactive functionalities. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not viral. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to exploit ultra-micro-interactively. What does the term "communities" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for dealing with new biometrics? We will scale up our capacity to innovate without depreciating our capacity to monetize. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for coping with new best-of-breed, 24/7/365 returns-on-investment? If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to scale seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to utilize your sticky feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If you redefine vertically, you may have to syndicate perfectly. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? We think we know that if you expedite robustly then you may also incubate extensibly. Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. We will rev up our ability to transition without decrementing our aptitude to facilitate. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to utilize transparently. The vertical fractal B2C, sticky mega-turn-key, intuitive TQC factor is end-to-end. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to harness iteravely than to benchmark extensibly. We believe we know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also transform transparently. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: global. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize correctly. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for monitoring new action-items? Do you have a plan to become visionary? We constantly matrix end-to-end infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think sexy. Think e-business. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to target cyber-intuitively than to leverage interactively.