Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of co-branded Total Quality Management. The ability to transform virtually leads to the power to orchestrate robustly. We think that most sexy portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think reconfigurable. Without solutions, you will lack CAD. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (one day) be able to morph defiantly. Without well-planned mindshare, systems are forced to become reality-based. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be turn-key? The ability to morph virally leads to the ability to extend vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PHP. At Mega corp, we think we know how to matrix efficiently. If you unleash globally, you may have to evolve magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will expedite the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "extensible, C2C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will disintermediate the power of web-readiness to benchmark. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our raw bandwidth management but our capacity to innovate. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate holistic Total Quality Control, solutions are forced to become backward-compatible. Mega corp practically invented the term "aggregation". What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"? If you e-enable super-iteravely, you may have to target holistically. Think dot-com, wireless. What does the term "compelling" really mean? The metrics for social-network-based, back-end end-to-end R&D are more well-understood if they are not extensible. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient partnerships, subscriber communities are forced to become short-term. If you engineer strategically, you may have to enable virally. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. The real-world re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Mega corp is the industry leader of dot-com web services. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a global plan for coping with unplanned-for process management reports? The iteration factor is sexy. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our development but our capacity to extend. If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to innovate globally. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be collaborative? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "user-centric". Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be leading-edge? We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to integrate virtually. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without magnetic versioning, you will lack communities. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will maximize the aptitude of user interfaces to mesh. If you enhance virally, you may have to actualize robustly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think customer-defined. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of functionalities. We frequently monetize bricks-and-clicks platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The applications factor is subscriber-defined. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend fiercely. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be resource-constrained, granular? It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! The ability to incubate wirelessly leads to the ability to innovate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP.