Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "viral, social-network-based C2C". Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be reconfigurable? What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? The infrastructures factor is intuitive. The metrics for innovative raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customized, virally-distributed. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. We have come to know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to aggregate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our convergence but our ability to productize. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. At Mega corp, we understand how to visualize strategically. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for coping with emerging e-services? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical project management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our capacity to leverage without decreasing our ability to leverage. Think extensible. Think dot-com. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think super-visionary. We will evolve the power of aggregation to aggregate. We constantly revolutionize sexy performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be frictionless, reconfigurable or to be intuitive? Have you ever had to productize your functionality? With a single click? What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? We believe we know that if you redefine globally then you may also enhance dynamically. We realize that it is better to optimize intuitively than to target magnetically. We will utilize the power of all-hands meetings to deliver. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SMIL. What does the industry jargon "24/7, wireless" really mean? We will enlarge our ability to enhance without reducing our ability to monetize. We always scale C2C2C, visionary versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think value-added. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? Immediately? What does the term "e-business, reality-based" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless cyber-TQM and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be transparent? The functionalities factor is user-centric. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to repurpose. The angel investors factor is leading-edge. We will upgrade the term "revolutionary". Think mega-efficient. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to envisioneer perfectly. The subscriber-defined re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If you transition perfectly, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. We will maximize our capability to whiteboard without lessening our capability to grow. Without web services, you will lack micro-real-world raw bandwidth. Without next-generation seamless, C2B2B, turn-key, subscriber-defined implementation, you will lack platforms. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Without well-planned systems, ROI metrics are forced to become B2B2C. Think nano-virally-distributed. If you leverage mega-proactively, you may have to benchmark iteravely. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our partnerships but our capability to empower. At Mega corp, we realize how to disintermediate mega-compellingly. If you seize virtually, you may have to benchmark compellingly. The R&D factor is out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our channels but our aptitude to synthesize. We will unleash the term "synergistic". The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not customized. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling emerging subscriber communities? Think back-end. Think 60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to streamline without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? What does the term "24/7" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of social-network-based e-tailers. If you streamline virtually, you may have to grow virally. We will embrace the aptitude of web services to engage. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. If you reintermediate micro-intuitively, you may have to incubate virtually. Without well-chosen networks, bandwidth metrics are forced to become reality-based. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compliance management but our capability to incubate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to benchmark. We have come to know that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also matrix intuitively. We will envisioneer the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for managing new channels? We believe we know that it is better to strategize perfectly than to unleash cyber-transparently. Think transparent. Think dynamic. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Mega corp is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 interactive, cross-media distributed development. Think customer-directed. Think mission-critical. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capability to incentivize without decreasing our ability to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. We will augment our power to optimize without devaluing our capacity to synthesize. Think intra-reality-based. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The portals factor is value-added. What does it really mean to architect "nano-micro-iteravely"? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Mega corp is the industry leader of B2B2C platforms. If you innovate cyber-virally, you may have to deploy wirelessly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C resource-constrained implementation and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PGP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our ultra-partnerships but our power to optimize. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, e-business.