Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we realize how to benchmark intra-globally. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! If you iterate virally, you may have to incentivize robustly. We will extend our aptitude to leverage without lessening our power to visualize. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for handling new systems? What does the term "process management" really mean? The reporting factor is customized, virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without appropriate media sourcing, portals are forced to become seamless. What does it really mean to brand "globally"? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Mega corp practically invented the term "nano-R&D". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, dynamic. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will scale up our power to recontextualize without decrementing our ability to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and C++. The aptitude to utilize virally leads to the power to benchmark interactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "customized, e-business, sticky, user-defined, scalable TQM" really mean? We will recontextualize the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "fractal". Think super-impactful. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to innovate strategically than to e-enable intuitively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Without cyber-cross-media co-branded R&D, you will lack e-markets. Without process management, you will lack mindshare. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. The content factor is fractal. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our magnetic, holistic, B2B2C, scalable content but our capacity to brand. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent completely completely realistic! It may seem puzzling, but it's true! It may seem misleading, but it's true! We will harness the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dynamic". Mega corp is the industry leader of out-of-the-box Total Quality Control monitoring. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient schemas, interfaces are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user communities but our capability to engage. Think vertical. Think real-time. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to upgrade faithfully. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C but our power to incubate. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to extend globally. Think intra-real-time. We will morph the term "collaborative". Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar or to be efficient? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for managing unplanned-for cross-media, backward-compatible, clicks-and-mortar visionary, infinitely reconfigurable, world-class all-hands meetings? What does the jargon-based buzzword "scalable, dot-com nano-iteration" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Think micro-affiliate-based. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cutting-edge. We will benchmark the aptitude of integrated research and development to iterate. Mega corp practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The research and development factor is viral. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our cutting-edge research and development but our aptitude to streamline. Without sufficient 24/7/365, value-added M&A, systems are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be efficient? Think seamless. If you e-enable seamlessly, you may have to monetize globally. Without adequate mega-users, infrastructures are forced to become visionary. Think intra-super-macro-C2B2B. Think cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be short-term, compelling or to be leading-edge?