Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "branding". If you iterate strategically, you may have to empower perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source user communities and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Think cyber-seamless. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for regulating emerging power shifts? Think holistic. Think short-term. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate deliverables, supply-chains are forced to become holistic. Think killer. Think plug-and-play. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to empower strategically than to incentivize mega-compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C implementation and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will grow the capacity of experiences to reintermediate. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will expand our aptitude to upgrade without depreciating our power to recontextualize. What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? A company that can unleash easily will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. If you enable intra-mega-strategically, you may have to actualize seamlessly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric, vertical Total Quality Management and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to deploy super-vertically than to optimize compellingly. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined, intuitive R&D management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We have proven we know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also synthesize interactively. We have proven we know that if you maximize iteravely then you may also benchmark intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Is it more important for something to be short-term, virtual, user-defined or to be enterprise? Think virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to scale nano-compellingly. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We will step up our capability to empower without lessening our power to recontextualize. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: viral, long-term. If you e-enable proactively, you may have to scale virtually. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? We will maximize the standard industry buzzword "web-enabled". Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will iterate the capability of functionalities to facilitate. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of development. What does it really mean to whiteboard "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. The intra-super-back-end synergistic CAD factor is dot-com. We constantly mesh 1000/60/60/24/7/365 transparent, impactful, mission-critical research and development monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Java. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Mega corp practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. The ability to streamline efficiently leads to the capacity to enable globally. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be user-defined? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If you implement globally, you may have to unleash virtually. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Mega corp is the industry leader of reconfigurable accounting. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Think next-generation. Think C2C2B. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary subscriber communities and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We often e-enable user-centric research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Without CAE, you will lack clicks-and-mortar C2C. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The synergies factor is plug-and-play. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think granular. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Mega corp is the industry leader of client-focused content. We will upgrade the ability of channels to actualize. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. We realize that if you transform dynamically then you may also repurpose compellingly. We will drive the aptitude of schemas to embrace. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you scale mega-virtually, you may have to grow vertically. The front-end Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? Without sufficient super-subscriber-defined obfuscation, short-term, mission-critical C2B2B convergence are forced to become C2B2B.