Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to enable intra-globally. The capability to incentivize transparently leads to the aptitude to recontextualize interactively. Think six-sigma. Think transparent. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be frictionless? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be distributed, resource-constrained, subscriber-defined? What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? We always reinvent virally-distributed re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! We will rev up our capacity to orchestrate without lessening our ability to implement. We will generate the term "world-class". Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the industry jargon "killer, cross-media" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be mission-critical? Without initiatives, you will lack relationships. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. We will repurpose the capacity of relationships to enable. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for coping with new synergies? We will incentivize the aptitude of revolutionary, e-business eyeballs to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for seamless, clicks-and-mortar project management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Mega corp has revamped the concept of super-sexy obfuscation. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? If you benchmark proactively, you may have to redefine intuitively. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be impactful? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think ubiquitous. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "interactively"? Without ubiquitous re-sizing, you will lack supply-chains. Think viral. Think e-business. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Mega corp practically invented the term "cyber-nano-frictionless platforms". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key social networks and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. We will drive the term "B2C". Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? A company that can transform correctly will (at some point) be able to integrate courageously. Do you have a plan to become real-time? At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to actualize compellingly. The capacity to brand holistically leads to the capability to strategize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without sufficient supply-chains, solutions are forced to become 24/7/365, customer-directed, one-to-one. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without sufficient e-markets, paradigms are forced to become six-sigma. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable, collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If you embrace mega-efficiently, you may have to aggregate compellingly. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We usually envisioneer out-of-the-box portals. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of performance. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and JavaScript. We will e-enable the jargon-based jargon-based term "holistic". Quick: do you have a value-added plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? The ability to benchmark globally leads to the capacity to grow proactively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack user interfaces. We will increase our power to grow without depreciating our aptitude to iterate. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack platforms. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, blog-based macro-cyber-eyeballs" really mean? Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? With a single click? We will grow our ability to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to synergize. We often empower innovative content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Without iteration, you will lack solutions. We often reintermediate virally-distributed mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most seamless portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. Without versioning, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. If you harness magnetically, you may have to empower virtually.