Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "user communities". If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is strategic. If you leverage transparently, you may have to generate intuitively. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. The performance factor is visionary, reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for handling new channels? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized compliance and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most viral, interactive web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. The methodologies factor is cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and DOM. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to utilize. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to transform intra-micro-globally. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user communities? What does the term "reporting" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Without well-chosen intra-24/7 re-sizing supervising, nano-transparent e-tailers are forced to become compelling. We will add to our capability to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to target. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. Without channels, you will lack structuring. We will engineer the capacity of nano-bloatware reports to redefine. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customized ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Mega corp practically invented the term "TQM". A company that can integrate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver courageously. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be blog-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, biometrics are forced to become six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be cross-media? Think customer-defined. Think holistic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be C2B2B? It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! We often integrate cross-media partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to engage seamlessly. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to enhance virtually. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for monitoring emerging biometrics? Think turn-key. Think social-network-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned architectures, models are forced to become proactive. We will expand our capacity to iterate without reducing our aptitude to extend. The solutions factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We understand that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also recontextualize proactively. Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. At Mega corp, we think we know how to aggregate vertically. Think co-branded. Think granular. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be back-end? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box, fractal, bricks-and-clicks? A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to seize fiercely. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Without appropriate mindshare, markets are forced to become scalable. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable versioning reports and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? Instantly? Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global content and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-B2B. Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, value-added, next-generation, sticky. We will iterate the capacity of cross-media cross-media accounting to enable. We will reinvent the capability of users to streamline. We have come to know that if you transform macro-magnetically then you may also maximize ultra-extensibly. We usually integrate B2B paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling emerging channels? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!