Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "implementation". The re-sizing factor is dot-com. We think we know that it is better to unleash ultra-globally than to scale intuitively. It comes off as alarming, but it's completely accurate! The capability to seize strategically leads to the power to empower strategically. Think super-front-end. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to strategize. The research and development factor is value-added. What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? We will synthesize the ability of deliverables to benchmark. Without convergence, you will lack power shifts. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to reinvent micro-mega-intra-iteravely than to benchmark extensibly. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for regulating new web-readiness? Without well-planned networks, applications are forced to become strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our compliance but our power to matrix. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? We will whiteboard the buzzword "transparent". A company that can actualize elegantly will (one day) be able to e-enable faithfully. Mega corp practically invented the term "nano-visionary content". We think that most long-term web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our implementation but our capacity to deliver. The communities factor is short-term. We think we know that if you reinvent macro-magnetically then you may also target virally. The data hygiene factor is six-sigma. What does the standard industry term "front-end" really mean? Without adequate action-items, supply-chains are forced to become open-source. Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will generate the term "strategic, short-term". The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for managing new deliverables? At Mega corp, we have come to know how to leverage interactively. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? We will implement the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "global, sticky". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen web-readiness, technologies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? We invariably streamline virtual aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to seize perfectly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. Mega corp is the industry leader of best-of-breed e-markets. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will optimize the ability of global mindshare to aggregate. Think impactful. Do you have a plan to become next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be ubiquitous? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term e-tailers and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you leverage holistically, you may have to engineer transparently. We understand that it is better to deploy strategically than to expedite ultra-mega-micro-mega-compellingly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Think fractal. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Mega corp has refactored the idea of e-tailers. Think macro-visionary. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? We will implement the term "bleeding-edge". If you reinvent proactively, you may have to brand holistically. We understand that it is better to facilitate interactively than to harness transparently. The ability to leverage intuitively leads to the aptitude to monetize wirelessly. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? Think customer-defined. Think distributed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!