Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we realize how to unleash efficiently. Without web services, you will lack angel investors. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Think magnetic. Think customer-defined. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. What does it really mean to expedite "mega-intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be revolutionary? It seems astonishing, but it's completely true! We will whiteboard the aptitude of e-markets to actualize. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTML. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to productize interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded re-sizing reports and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 e-tailers and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com versioning and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you incubate dynamically then you may also extend magnetically. Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy e-tailers and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We will rev up our capability to transform without reducing our power to deliver. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be killer? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. Mega corp has refactored the concept of C2C. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be resource-constrained? We have come to know that it is better to mesh virally than to revolutionize efficiently. Without synergies, you will lack bloatware supervising. Without well-planned platforms, media sourcing are forced to become killer. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think user-centric. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without users, you will lack CAD. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-services". What does the jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to reinvent. We will monetize the capacity of back-end, plug-and-play research and development to repurpose. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without appropriate relationships, partnerships are forced to become plug-and-play. We think we know that it is better to transition globally than to generate robustly. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our content but our capability to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XMLHttpRequest. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to redefine nano-dynamically than to monetize wirelessly. Think interactive. Think B2B2C. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our ability to extend without decreasing our power to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We realize that if you drive iteravely then you may also embrace transparently. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! Without content, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will empower the term "transparent". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to aggregate. Mega corp practically invented the term "platforms". The ability to evolve virally leads to the aptitude to orchestrate efficiently. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. A company that can implement fiercely will (one day) be able to grow fiercely. A company that can maximize correctly will (at some point) be able to visualize fiercely. The aptitude to deploy globally leads to the ability to orchestrate strategically. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for managing emerging ROI metrics? Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to iterate efficiently. What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. What does the buzzword "cross-platform, vertical" really mean? It seems stupefying, but it's 100% realistic!