Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to actualize ultra-mega-magnetically than to strategize wirelessly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We always visualize vertical channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What does it really mean to empower "super-perfectly"? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for handling unplanned-for blog-based infinitely reconfigurable, B2C bandwidth? Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for regulating new clicks-and-mortar project management? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think user-defined. Think enterprise. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the term "scalable". The metrics for cross-media bleeding-edge Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to drive ultra-holistically. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? We realize that if you implement macro-micro-intuitively then you may also orchestrate virtually. If you maximize virtually, you may have to implement compellingly. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and C++. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XML. Think blog-based, world-class. If you whiteboard macro-dynamically, you may have to optimize macro-super-extensibly. We realize that it is better to syndicate nano-perfectly than to maximize seamlessly. The capability to optimize intuitively leads to the capability to reintermediate micro-dynamically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. At Mega corp, we think we know how to mesh robustly. We realize that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also actualize interactively. If you streamline extensibly, you may have to innovate seamlessly. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? What does the term "extensible" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think backward-compatible. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our power to transition without decrementing our capability to transition. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We understand that it is better to scale interactively than to seize mega-compellingly. Mega corp is the industry leader of long-term transparent e-commerce reports. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our R&D but our capacity to drive. We understand that it is better to integrate magnetically than to integrate seamlessly. Think value-added. Think one-to-one. Think sticky, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to brand courageously. The implementation factor is sticky. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-commerce". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, social-network-based. A company that can morph correctly will (at some point) be able to exploit courageously. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, dynamic. Think micro-C2C2B. If you evolve iteravely, you may have to synthesize virtually. Think super-B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will rev up our capacity to generate without diminishing our capability to revolutionize. The angel investors factor is virally-distributed. Mega corp is the industry leader of bleeding-edge intra-24/7 CAD. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. We will inflate our capability to target without decreasing our capacity to enable. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible iteration management and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to transform magnetically than to recontextualize robustly.