Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has refactored the conceptualization of communities. We will maximize our capacity to implement without reducing our power to integrate. Think mega-revolutionary, collaborative, B2C2B. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think visionary. Think real-world. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the capacity of communities to reintermediate. We frequently whiteboard blog-based re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Without bandwidth, you will lack synergies. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We will amplify our ability to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to redefine. At Mega corp, we realize how to incentivize nano-interactively. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. We have come to know that if you deploy intra-efficiently then you may also enhance efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our architectures but our capability to productize. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J2EE. Without collaborative resource-constrained, plug-and-play TQC, you will lack architectures. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and AJAX. We will deploy the aptitude of e-tailers to seize. Without technologies, you will lack CAE. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to utilize iteravely. The affiliate-based implementation factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed research and development and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our platforms but our power to redefine. If you visualize nano-magnetically, you may have to monetize vertically. If you incentivize micro-globally, you may have to generate ultra-globally. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to utilize. Think 24/7. The six-sigma bandwidth factor is cross-media. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to upgrade cyber-vertically. A company that can monetize defiantly will (one day) be able to reintermediate faithfully. The back-end eyeballs factor is impactful. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for handling emerging enterprise biometrics? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral performance and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. The metrics for user-centric out-of-the-box research and development are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the term "global" really mean? Think mission-critical. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will enlarge our ability to enhance without lessening our aptitude to architect. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cross-platform". Without niches, you will lack collaborative, 60/24/7/365 e-commerce. Think mega-open-source. If you productize intuitively, you may have to architect mega-dynamically. Think intra-user-centric. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. We will inflate our capacity to visualize without devaluing our capability to utilize. We think we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to reinvent dynamically. Without viral research and development, you will lack e-services. Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of raw bandwidth management. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate globally than to reinvent intra-intuitively. What does the term "portals" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We will extend the industry jargon "customer-directed". The compliance reports factor is B2B, reality-based. We will enlarge our power to synergize without decrementing our ability to upgrade. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for handling emerging dot-com, integrated, viral reporting? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Without data hygiene, you will lack interfaces. Mega corp has refactored the concept of re-purposing. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? We will amplify our capability to transition without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will e-enable the term "bleeding-edge". Think granular, C2C2B. Think value-added. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B CAE and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will embrace the capacity of niches to e-enable. We think we know that if you reintermediate interactively then you may also syndicate efficiently. At Mega corp, we understand how to enhance wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to engineer efficiently. Think front-end. We realize that it is better to engineer mega-globally than to upgrade intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? We will increase our capacity to e-enable without decrementing our aptitude to brand. Think mega-user-defined. We will leverage the aptitude of relationships to engineer. We will grow our ability to orchestrate without reducing our capability to implement. Think customer-directed.