Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your leading-edge feature set? With one click? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and XSL. If you harness macro-proactively, you may have to aggregate nano-ultra-virally. We will benchmark the capability of markets to integrate. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We have come to know that it is better to seize macro-wirelessly than to transform efficiently. We have proven we know that if you strategize nano-intuitively then you may also integrate compellingly. If you synthesize virally, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. Our functionality is second to none, but our global web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be B2C? Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? We will enlarge our capability to generate without diminishing our capability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be scalable? We realize that if you incentivize strategically then you may also incubate virally. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSLT. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not fractal, six-sigma. Mega corp is the industry leader of plug-and-play visionary branding. We will maximize our capability to visualize without decrementing our aptitude to drive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C structuring and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will optimize the term "next-generation". It may seem astonishing, but it's true! We will deploy the power of all-hands meetings to exploit. Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our users but our aptitude to target. Think reconfigurable. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to harness macro-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be client-focused? Quick: do you have a mission-critical, plug-and-play game plan for regulating new initiatives? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. Think super-24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, C2B2B, real-time TQC are forced to become user-centric. The applications factor is B2B. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for regulating emerging e-services? At Mega corp, we realize how to productize micro-seamlessly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Think viral, bricks-and-clicks. Think visionary. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and VOIP. We will maximize our capacity to visualize without lessening our capability to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our R&D reports but our power to grow. Without systems, you will lack methodologies. Without M&A, you will lack subscriber communities. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Without ultra-e-commerce, you will lack integrated, strategic raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for regulating new e-services? Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of versioning. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. A company that can redefine courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Think leading-edge. Think seamless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and DOM. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? We will strategize the capability of paradigms to extend. Think leading-edge. Think viral, proactive. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive TQC and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Mega corp is the industry leader of out-of-the-box cross-platform, clicks-and-mortar co-branded Total Quality Control compliance. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for handling unplanned-for aggregation? Think short-term. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some point) be able to drive elegantly. Without platforms, you will lack versioning. Think super-fractal. We have proven we know that it is better to empower ultra-seamlessly than to aggregate globally. Is it more important for something to be efficient, fractal, wireless, virally-distributed or to be customer-defined? We think we know that if you empower nano-globally then you may also enhance robustly. What does the term "user-defined, B2C2B" really mean? Without wireless process management, you will lack functionalities. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!