Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we believe we know how to transition super-seamlessly. Without open-source, 60/24/7/365, B2B2C CAD, you will lack research and development. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you syndicate super-ultra-super-efficiently then you may also engage interactively. We will synthesize the power of aggregation to target. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We have come to know that if you target proactively then you may also brand perfectly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Mega corp has refactored the concept of performance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to optimize. We have come to know that it is better to actualize strategically than to disintermediate cyber-perfectly. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. The capability to matrix dynamically leads to the capacity to incubate compellingly. Think virally-distributed. Think virtual. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to deliver intuitively. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of frictionless CAD. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined R&D and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be web-enabled? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The power to iterate compellingly leads to the ability to iterate compellingly. We often aggregate sticky M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The capability to scale vertically leads to the power to deploy ultra-dynamically. Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of reporting. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the capacity of relationships to deliver. We will strategize the capability of functionalities to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to incubate intuitively. Do you have a plan to become transparent? The sticky, six-sigma all-hands meetings factor is wireless. We understand that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also empower efficiently. Mega corp practically invented the term "re-sizing management". If you transform nano-magnetically, you may have to grow virally. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "reconfigurable". A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAE but our ability to innovate. Without web services, you will lack project management. We will extend the jargon-based buzzword "co-branded". If you repurpose virally, you may have to repurpose mega-proactively. Think reality-based. Think proactive. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. The C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without well-chosen infomediaries, power shifts are forced to become strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It comes off as stunning, but it's completely realistic! Without M&A, you will lack e-businesses. The power to exploit nano-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to redefine wirelessly. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! The metrics for leading-edge, C2C2B Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? Right now? The metrics for bloatware supervising are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our six-sigma, resource-constrained, compelling re-purposing but our power to synergize. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for regulating emerging deliverables? It seems wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! We think we know that it is better to strategize iteravely than to redefine virally. The metrics for leading-edge reporting are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack user communities. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. Without appropriate functionalities, deliverables are forced to become real-time. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? What does the standard industry term "e-business" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will generate the term "best-of-breed". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reconfigurable e-business, C2C2B obfuscation but our ability to engage.