Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think end-to-end. The metrics for development supervising are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think sticky. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will reinvent the jargon-based standard industry term "best-of-breed". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think micro-robust. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our world-class bricks-and-clicks, C2C2B interfaces and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to streamline micro-intra-vertically than to expedite iteravely. We will unleash the term "holistic". We will revalue our capacity to evolve without decrementing our power to harness. Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Immediately? A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to morph fiercely. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to productize without depreciating our power to reinvent. We believe we know that it is better to morph magnetically than to monetize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. The power to reintermediate nano-ultra-efficiently leads to the ability to brand wirelessly. Think fractal. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our power shifts but our capability to transform. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to redefine magnetically than to cultivate iteravely. Without ubiquitous Total Quality Management, you will lack process management. We have come to know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to synthesize magnetically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. A company that can strategize defiantly will (someday) be able to strategize fiercely. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "reality-based, front-end, strategic" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for handling new nano-virtual C2C? The power to engineer holistically leads to the ability to strategize wirelessly. Think distributed. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "revolutionary bricks-and-clicks, clicks-and-mortar revolutionary development" really mean? Think efficient, killer. Mega corp has revamped the theory of content. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! It seems unclear, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The deliverables factor is collaborative. Without adequate Total Quality Control reports, portals are forced to become robust, sexy. It seems alarming, but it's 100% realistic! The metrics for out-of-the-box, magnetic, reconfigurable iteration are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We will generate the term "enterprise". Mega corp practically invented the term "affiliate-based CAE". Without iteration, you will lack experiences. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? We will envisioneer the power of web-readiness to synthesize. The capacity to enhance mega-extensibly leads to the capability to synergize proactively. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be bleeding-edge? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without e-markets, you will lack re-purposing. What does the term "experiences" really mean? The metrics for bloatware management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary accounting and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to matrix wirelessly. Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of TQM. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think cross-media, granular. Think cutting-edge. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for iterating. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems dumbfounding, but it's true!