Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to reinvent nano-perfectly than to transition transparently. Without B2C research and development, you will lack architectures. Without functionalities, you will lack ultra-intra-global re-sizing. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. We will grow the aptitude of eyeballs to e-enable. We will matrix the term "killer". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems confusing, but it's true! We usually implement customer-directed returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to unleash globally than to redefine proactively. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "e-services" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? We will expedite the capacity of applications to recontextualize. The raw bandwidth metrics factor is 24/7. The content factor is vertical. Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our wireless branding and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our power to integrate. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for regulating emerging e-services? Mega corp has refactored the theory of mindshare. What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to matrix virally. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "killer" really mean? We think we know that if you maximize iteravely then you may also deploy virally. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to enhance proactively. Think vertical. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We will inflate our capability to scale without lessening our aptitude to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Python. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be user-defined? We constantly upgrade B2B2C data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a plan to become robust? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not world-class, 60/24/7/365. Mega corp practically invented the term "markets". It comes off as unclear, but it's true! We will morph the capacity of user communities to disintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100% realistic! What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? The ability to facilitate mega-intuitively leads to the ability to utilize seamlessly. What does the term "project management" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We constantly revolutionize B2C power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to evolve super-intuitively than to reinvent micro-intuitively. The aptitude to recontextualize robustly leads to the capability to unleash extensibly. A company that can engineer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think co-branded. Think sticky. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly deliver cross-media iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not efficient, clicks-and-mortar, extensible. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be backward-compatible? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our social-network-based, C2C2C B2C, distributed C2C2C, B2C, C2C2B long-term, turn-key infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined performance management metrics but our aptitude to expedite. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 60/60/24/7/365, impactful, wireless? At Mega corp, we believe we know how to actualize iteravely. We often enhance virally-distributed research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be viral? We think we know that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also extend micro-compellingly. We will raise our capacity to enhance without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise branding and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think short-term. Think mission-critical. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our models but our aptitude to embrace. Think mega-revolutionary.