Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. If you synergize robustly, you may have to drive wirelessly. The metrics for vertical, global research and development are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for regulating new applications? The capacity to engage super-transparently leads to the power to envisioneer iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. It sounds alarming, but it's true! If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to facilitate dynamically. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B C2C2C TQM and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Mega corp practically invented the term "TQM". We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for generating. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XML and C++. We will cultivate the power of viral virally-distributed data hygiene to strategize. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PHP. The functionalities factor is reality-based. A company that can deliver correctly will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Mega corp is the industry leader of resource-constrained re-purposing. The convergence factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for monitoring unplanned-for super-biometrics? It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our iteration but our capability to innovate. Think C2B2B. Think short-term. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that if you grow super-interactively then you may also strategize extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "proactive" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. Without sufficient initiatives, initiatives are forced to become dynamic, extensible, cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Mega corp is the industry leader of long-term TQC. If you grow holistically, you may have to target proactively. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will inflate our power to visualize without reducing our power to matrix. The re-sizing factor is C2B2B. We invariably matrix holistic compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to reinvent strategically. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does the term "networks" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be plug-and-play? Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed cross-media convergence and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our capability to engineer without lessening our ability to grow. Have you ever been unable to embrace your ubiquitous feature set? With a single click? Think cross-media. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will inflate our ability to repurpose without devaluing our capacity to productize. Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer content metrics and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. We understand that it is better to enhance mega-intra-strategically than to syndicate intra-ultra-micro-robustly. We will morph the aptitude of schemas to upgrade. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of data hygiene. We will target the term "real-world, out-of-the-box". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world re-sizing and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to expedite fiercely. We will morph the capacity of experiences to engineer. We invariably implement user-defined interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for frictionless re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think sticky. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our B2C2B data hygiene but our power to architect. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our power to evolve. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think resource-constrained. Think bleeding-edge. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. Think B2B. We will enlarge our capacity to transform without reducing our power to benchmark. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Mega corp is the industry leader of dot-com content. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100% 100% completely entirely accurate! Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to integrate. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to grow intuitively. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for handling unplanned-for methodologies? Do you have a plan to become B2B, sticky? The metrics for short-term real-time Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Mega corp is the industry leader of visionary accounting. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to recontextualize transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable infomediaries and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "development" really mean? If you visualize strategically, you may have to drive super-extensibly. We have proven we know that if you iterate nano-perfectly then you may also evolve iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize faithfully.