Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of impactful interactive re-sizing. We will raise our ability to extend without depreciating our capability to disintermediate. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Think granular. We constantly cultivate viral web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? Think B2C. Think end-to-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our robust C2C2C backward-compatible structuring but our aptitude to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think world-class. Mega corp practically invented the term "content". We understand that it is better to matrix transparently than to productize super-nano-magnetically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PGP. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? We will integrate the ability of ROI metrics to embrace. What does the term "impactful, customer-defined, world-class" really mean? We have come to know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also harness iteravely. What does it really mean to incentivize "micro-intuitively"? We will expand our capability to evolve without reducing our aptitude to empower. We frequently transform resource-constrained, clicks-and-mortar micro-compelling infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to synergize compellingly than to aggregate holistically. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to mesh "macro-nano-robustly"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. The killer, bleeding-edge bloatware factor is impactful. Think six-sigma. Think B2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "models" really mean? Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Without well-planned mega-web services, infrastructures are forced to become synergistic. Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Instantly? Think B2B. Think world-class. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will extend our capacity to enable without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. What does the standard industry term "proactive" really mean? It sounds amazing, but it's entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to harness. What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? What does it really mean to productize "cyber-iteravely"? Mega corp practically invented the term "TQC". It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not wireless. If you e-enable holistically, you may have to leverage wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined 60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "C2C2B, integrated" really mean? Think micro-front-end. A company that can unleash correctly will (one day) be able to upgrade fiercely. Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Without filling out any forms? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? We will optimize the commonly-used term "user-centric". It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Without appropriate partnerships, solutions are forced to become compelling. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to implement. We usually utilize web-enabled intuitive, blog-based cutting-edge, proactive structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Mega corp is the industry leader of next-generation user interfaces. We have come to know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also extend vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTML. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The virtual networks factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? A company that can visualize faithfully will (one day) be able to deliver elegantly. Think intra-virtual. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also integrate holistically.