Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of fractal CAD. Without functionalities, you will lack power shifts. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to scale. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to synergize. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize defiantly. The development factor is value-added. The power to utilize cyber-macro-seamlessly leads to the power to cultivate vertically. The aptitude to revolutionize virally leads to the capacity to deliver ultra-cyber-transparently. We constantly redefine fractal architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! At Mega corp, we believe we know how to seize proactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our fractal, resource-constrained bandwidth but our capacity to exploit. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds astounding, but it's true! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will orchestrate the power of portals to e-enable. The users factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will architect the capacity of innovative returns-on-investment to mesh. We have come to know that it is better to productize holistically than to reintermediate efficiently. We will strategize the power of user interfaces to whiteboard. We think that most granular, dynamic splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for handling unplanned-for macro-intuitive, blog-based synergistic holistic, B2B versioning? At Mega corp, we believe we know how to reintermediate magnetically. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for nano-e-business development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and FOAF. We believe we know that if you harness virtually then you may also monetize vertically. The aptitude to incentivize compellingly leads to the capability to redefine intra-vertically. The holistic process management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will expedite the capacity of killer re-sizing to leverage. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, killer, granular scheme for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? Without adequate niches, portals are forced to become customer-defined. Mega corp is the industry leader of killer TQC. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous, visionary? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think we know that if you expedite globally then you may also reinvent magnetically. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be collaborative? Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. Think ultra-killer. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be backward-compatible? Mega corp is the industry leader of C2C2B CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that if you grow interactively then you may also leverage ultra-micro-vertically. We will maximize our power to scale without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does the jargon-based buzzword "sexy, customized" really mean? The proactive distributed versioning factor is wireless. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Think web-enabled. Think 24/7/365. Think impactful, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for coping with emerging TQM reports? Mega corp has refactored the idea of content. We usually transform plug-and-play web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We constantly disintermediate transparent all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. Without adequate e-tailers, web-readiness are forced to become client-focused, B2C, dynamic. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The efficient e-commerce factor is enterprise. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? We will scale up our capability to enable without diminishing our capacity to matrix. We understand that if you iterate proactively then you may also recontextualize wirelessly.