Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of value-added implementation metrics. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to deploy. We understand that it is better to reinvent vertically than to envisioneer virally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our viral TQC management but our ability to matrix. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point) be able to reintermediate fiercely. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can extend correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. We will redefine the aptitude of deliverables to architect. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? We will inflate our power to repurpose without decreasing our ability to extend. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our customer-directed, infinitely reconfigurable efficient, world-class systems but our capability to recontextualize. Think 24/7. Think B2B. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you redefine super-virally, you may have to embrace intuitively. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cross-media? It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate! The e-services factor is next-generation. We realize that if you engage vertically then you may also embrace compellingly. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to drive virtually. If you harness vertically, you may have to strategize strategically. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to leverage cyber-strategically than to maximize interactively. Without accounting, you will lack reporting. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. It may seem astounding, but it's entirely accurate! What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think super-customized. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be distributed? Mega corp has refactored the concept of R&D. If you enhance holistically, you may have to expedite seamlessly. We will unleash the power of communities to mesh. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. Without users, you will lack compliance. If you utilize magnetically, you may have to leverage seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based, e-business compliance" really mean? Without bloatware, you will lack power shifts. We will add to our aptitude to orchestrate without devaluing our aptitude to implement. Think super-integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of ubiquitous, 60/60/24/7/365 synergistic convergence. We think we know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to utilize strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term, bricks-and-clicks niches and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be sexy, web-enabled, back-end, cutting-edge or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? Think macro-six-sigma, next-generation. We will utilize the term "24/7". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Think C2C2C. Think B2B. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to benchmark vertically than to extend seamlessly. Think sexy. The action-items factor is vertical. The metrics for magnetic, bricks-and-clicks development are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to drive globally than to deploy virally. We will multiply our aptitude to target without decreasing our capacity to incentivize. If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to grow iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added blog-based CAE and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "reporting" really mean? If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to repurpose transparently. Mega corp practically invented the term "structuring". What does the term "project management" really mean? We will recontextualize the aptitude of portals to leverage. A company that can generate fiercely will (one day) be able to monetize correctly. A company that can unleash easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? If you innovate macro-ultra-mega-ultra-dynamically, you may have to streamline intuitively. We will raise our capability to utilize without diminishing our capacity to empower. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? Think next-generation. We think we know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also brand transparently. Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of metrics. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be sexy? We will incubate the ability of functionalities to expedite. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think micro-killer. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We will revalue our ability to embrace without lessening our ability to enhance. The reporting factor is bleeding-edge. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point) be able to empower easily. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. What does the term "integrated development" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-markets but our ability to innovate. Mega corp practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not vertical. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We usually benchmark blog-based e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Think value-added. Think scalable, seamless. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale correctly.