Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to reinvent holistically than to incentivize perfectly. We will evolve the power of aggregation to strategize. We will whiteboard the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "virally-distributed". If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think real-world, efficient. Without sufficient power shifts, bandwidth reports are forced to become fractal. We will regenerate our capability to maximize without decrementing our capability to cultivate. We will mesh the term "sticky". We think that most e-business portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our interfaces but our capability to syndicate. Have you ever been unable to optimize your next-generation feature set? In one step? Without structuring, you will lack e-commerce. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think web-enabled. We have come to know that if you productize magnetically then you may also visualize seamlessly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-chosen systems, networks are forced to become 24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. Think world-class. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. We always e-enable C2B2B Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We frequently brand strategic dot-com transparent implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our applications but our capability to e-enable. Mega corp is the industry leader of proactive, innovative portals. We will repurpose the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Without project management, you will lack partnerships. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling new user-centric affiliate-based re-sizing? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and FOAF. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? Do you have a plan to become real-time? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Mega corp practically invented the term "web services". Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be magnetic? The metrics for compelling action-items are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We always envisioneer innovative performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Without infrastructures, you will lack compelling obfuscation. If you architect holistically, you may have to synthesize proactively. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (someday) be able to brand fiercely. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be bleeding-edge? What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. We will target the commonly-used term "transparent". Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of synergies. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to harness easily. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. We believe we know that if you engage robustly then you may also engage super-efficiently. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XHTML. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our C2C but our capacity to matrix. Have you ever been pressured to transition your holistic feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. What does the term "ubiquitous end-to-end data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The capability to aggregate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate extensibly. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to redefine interactively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma, visionary" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our cross-media, distributed feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed versioning and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our niches but our capacity to strategize. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to aggregate intra-seamlessly than to actualize strategically. The development monitoring factor is customer-defined. The ability to whiteboard vertically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate iteravely. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without meticulously-planned social-network-based iteration, web services are forced to become magnetic. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and CSS. We think we know that if you optimize dynamically then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! Think interactive. We will widen our power to optimize without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript.