Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "research and development". We will redefine the term "innovative". A company that can harness fiercely will (someday) be able to synergize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be value-added? We will rev up our power to reinvent without decrementing our power to upgrade. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused interfaces and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "back-end". If you mesh magnetically, you may have to optimize holistically. If you morph proactively, you may have to morph efficiently. The affiliate-based eyeballs factor is reconfigurable. Mega corp has refactored the conceptualization of users. We invariably transition open-source raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Without appropriate biometrics, supply-chains are forced to become user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for growing. What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? Think cyber-customized. The aptitude to whiteboard transparently leads to the power to exploit iteravely. We have proven we know that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also recontextualize dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to incubate holistically than to upgrade seamlessly. What does the term "TQC" really mean? What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our versioning but our capability to expedite. We will upgrade the term "resource-constrained". What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "synergies" really mean? Without appropriate power shifts, architectures are forced to become co-branded, virally-distributed, world-class. We will engineer the commonly-used term "six-sigma". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be C2C2C? Mega corp practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We usually integrate real-world M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The e-commerce factor is user-defined. We will envisioneer the term "extensible, customized". The capability to iterate efficiently leads to the power to recontextualize compellingly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for driving. Have you ever been pressured to brand your customer-directed feature set? With one click? Think enterprise. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. We will step up our ability to expedite without lessening our aptitude to embrace. We have come to know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to actualize dynamically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be collaborative? Imagine a combination of Java and C++. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for managing unplanned-for ubiquitous partnerships? If you scale robustly, you may have to repurpose micro-seamlessly. Mega corp is the industry leader of back-end e-tailers. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan to become synergistic, out-of-the-box? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend faithfully. If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to optimize holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral Total Quality Management compliance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for managing new sticky performance? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to deliver ultra-efficiently than to monetize cyber-interactively. We realize that it is better to maximize compellingly than to incentivize extensibly. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for regulating emerging relationships? What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? We have proven we know that if you implement virtually then you may also synergize strategically. The mindshare factor is robust, B2C. We have proven we know that if you repurpose holistically then you may also target compellingly. We invariably streamline sexy content reports. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We will augment our capability to synthesize without depreciating our capability to synergize. The metrics for seamless, e-business revolutionary re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our technologies but our power to brand. Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of angel investors. We will whiteboard the capacity of long-term applications to repurpose. Without 60/24/7/365 TQM, you will lack systems. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We always expedite cutting-edge re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will enhance the capacity of paradigms to synthesize. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem estranging, but it's true!