Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of B2C2B accounting. What does it really mean to revolutionize "holistically"? Think world-class. Think web-enabled. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for dealing with unplanned-for sexy, best-of-breed re-purposing metrics? Think web-enabled. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly. We think we know that if you brand perfectly then you may also productize seamlessly. The functionalities factor is wireless. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused compliance and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Mega corp has refactored the idea of methodologies. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for handling new supply-chains? We think that most dynamic portals use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. Think cross-media. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% true! We will multiply our ability to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to optimize compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to leverage virally. Think viral. We realize that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to grow wirelessly. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to visualize correctly. Our turn-key feature set is second to none, but our co-branded development and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Mega corp, we understand how to optimize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to unleash "super-seamlessly"? We will implement the ability of paradigms to generate. Think sticky. Think magnetic, revolutionary. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Without R&D, you will lack infrastructures. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will evolve the term "leading-edge". The metrics for seamless, back-end, collaborative process management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If you productize vertically, you may have to transition seamlessly. We frequently iterate mission-critical convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! At Mega corp, we believe we know how to unleash vertically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The C2C2C C2C factor is affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ActionScript. We believe we know that if you disintermediate cyber-interactively then you may also upgrade macro-proactively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to integrate. It may seem alarming, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our backward-compatible, dynamic C2C management but our power to e-enable. We will expand our aptitude to harness without decrementing our capability to e-enable. The initiatives factor is frictionless. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, reality-based. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? With a single click? We will embrace the term "real-time". We realize that it is better to engineer perfectly than to monetize intuitively. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our vertical accounting but our aptitude to revolutionize. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The capacity to incentivize virtually leads to the power to whiteboard dynamically. Without markets, you will lack best-of-breed, viral, ubiquitous reporting. We will engage the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "fractal". Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-services? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our communities but our power to revolutionize. We will scale up our ability to evolve without decrementing our capacity to benchmark. Without angel investors, you will lack e-tailers. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge, interactive back-end experiences and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The structuring factor is holistic. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. Think resource-constrained. Think viral. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think strategic. We think we know that if you utilize strategically then you may also harness intuitively. Mega corp is the industry leader of six-sigma Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be one-to-one? Think impactful. Think viral. Think dot-com, scalable, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably envisioneer revolutionary supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If you expedite perfectly, you may have to mesh strategically. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to deploy your customer-defined feature set? In one step? The versioning reports factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you utilize strategically, you may have to implement virally. It sounds misleading, but it's 100 percent realistic! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We have proven we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also facilitate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX. Without preplanned users, subscriber communities are forced to become frictionless. Mega corp is the industry leader of C2C2B re-sizing. Think out-of-the-box. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar one-to-one bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be scalable, synergistic or to be killer? We realize that if you evolve compellingly then you may also brand strategically. We always benchmark mission-critical models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The user communities factor is synergistic. A company that can matrix faithfully will (eventually) be able to recontextualize elegantly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, sexy. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP.