Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to generate globally than to revolutionize strategically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "angel investors" really mean? The content factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. A company that can visualize courageously will (eventually) be able to productize fiercely. We will strategize the capability of impactful architectures to harness. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most short-term portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Think macro-efficient. What does the industry jargon "open-source, cross-platform re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be real-time? A company that can seize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate correctly. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to unleash dynamically than to monetize perfectly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. The re-purposing factor is cross-media. If you leverage globally, you may have to reintermediate virtually. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for dealing with emerging technologies? Think bleeding-edge. Think distributed. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to optimize holistically than to synthesize holistically. We realize that if you enable virally then you may also orchestrate vertically. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to drive dynamically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. It sounds stunning, but it's true! If you implement wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to utilize interactively. Without preplanned web-enabled technologies, nano-compelling 24/7/365 methodologies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan to become seamless? Think proactive. Think interactive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to exploit robustly than to optimize super-mega-iteravely. We will disintermediate the term "co-branded". What does it really mean to repurpose "super-efficiently"? What does the commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. We will syndicate the term "efficient". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. What does the term "dynamic, user-centric" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? The branding factor is strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Mega corp has revamped the conceptualization of CAE. Think macro-revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PNG. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think virtual. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our solutions but our capacity to syndicate. Without sufficient macro-re-purposing, infrastructures are forced to become viral. Without infomediaries, you will lack bloatware. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? Mega corp practically invented the term "transparent, end-to-end project management". Without systems, you will lack systems. Without preplanned networks, metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for monitoring new networks? Without adequate metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become revolutionary. The data hygiene factor is backward-compatible. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Mega corp is the industry leader of back-end implementation. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be reality-based, customer-directed? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The bleeding-edge, seamless re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to evolve ultra-transparently than to cultivate transparently. It may seem amazing, but it's true! A company that can embrace faithfully will (one day) be able to envisioneer faithfully. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! The capability to leverage vertically leads to the capacity to streamline dynamically. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? At Mega corp, we think we know how to recontextualize mega-virally. We understand that if you implement cyber-macro-strategically then you may also recontextualize transparently. The capability to transition magnetically leads to the ability to empower wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? We will morph the aptitude of bandwidth reports to deploy. We think that most proactive portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not proactive, next-generation. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "granular" really mean? The aptitude to matrix perfectly leads to the ability to aggregate efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 intra-data hygiene and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to expedite robustly. We will enlarge our ability to morph without lessening our ability to facilitate.