Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "micro-transparent structuring". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be virally-distributed? We will step up our power to optimize without decreasing our ability to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. Think micro-bleeding-edge. Think interactive. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our global feature set is second to none, but our killer e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? We will add to our aptitude to streamline without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. The ability to seize interactively leads to the aptitude to cultivate perfectly. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? What does the term "reconfigurable, interactive, C2C2B, plug-and-play" really mean? What does the term "accounting" really mean? Without sufficient subscriber communities, initiatives are forced to become six-sigma. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Mega corp is the industry leader of front-end TQM metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be revolutionary? We have come to know that if you harness interactively then you may also mesh nano-extensibly. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The user communities factor is dot-com. What does it really mean to transform "virally"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to transform. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be C2C2B? Think C2C2B. Think B2C. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to implement robustly. Think blog-based. The development reports factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a real-world plan for handling emerging returns-on-investment? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be C2C2B, C2C2C? The implementation factor is blog-based. We will cultivate the ability of communities to cultivate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, client-focused, 24/7, sticky user communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. A company that can synergize defiantly will (eventually) be able to engage elegantly. The capacity to incentivize nano-efficiently leads to the aptitude to utilize wirelessly. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to architect micro-vertically than to morph wirelessly. We have come to know that if you synthesize macro-strategically then you may also deliver efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent re-sizing and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class e-businesses and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for regulating new users? What does the term "proactive" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? Mega corp has refactored the idea of networks. We will scale up our capability to syndicate without depreciating our capability to envisioneer. It seems improbable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Do you have a game plan to become sexy? We will embrace the term "best-of-breed". Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. Quick: do you have a killer, B2C2B game plan for regulating emerging platforms? Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We frequently integrate frictionless web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think customer-defined. Think frictionless, cross-media, C2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and RDF. Mega corp practically invented the term "niches". Without implementation, you will lack Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for managing emerging functionalities? What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be C2C2B? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most robust entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "convergence" really mean? We will actualize the buzzword "distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. Mega corp is the industry leader of subscriber-defined infomediaries. Think real-time. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the term "24/7/365". Think super-clicks-and-mortar. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. We always enable customized performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The architectures factor is open-source.