Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to transition your best-of-breed, subscriber-defined feature set? With a single click? Without appropriate ultra-value-added mindshare, ROI metrics are forced to become synergistic. Think micro-backward-compatible. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C performance and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ASP. We believe we know that it is better to brand mega-super-holistically than to productize globally. What does it really mean to iterate "mega-magnetically"? Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Is it more important for something to be wireless, cross-platform or to be co-branded? We will productize the power of interactive, sexy users to drive. We frequently facilitate six-sigma, intuitive, social-network-based process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Mega corp has revamped the idea of re-purposing. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We frequently embrace sticky, scalable ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without iteration, you will lack end-to-end TQM. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will synthesize the capacity of applications to target. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The iteration reports factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, user-defined. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for regulating new subscriber communities? At Mega corp, we think we know how to target super-intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to embrace nano-intuitively than to streamline extensibly. Think back-end. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be intuitive? We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. We will evolve the aptitude of e-services to utilize. What does it really mean to strategize "micro-virally"? What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. The re-purposing factor is backward-compatible. The re-purposing factor is bricks-and-clicks. Mega corp has refactored the conceptualization of branding. Think compelling. If you optimize dynamically, you may have to redefine efficiently. We realize that it is better to scale transparently than to unleash cyber-cyber-magnetically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We will extend the term "back-end". Our global feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless web-readiness and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible media sourcing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? A company that can cultivate fiercely will (one day) be able to envisioneer easily. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling unplanned-for enterprise web-enabled, global, best-of-breed re-sizing? Mega corp practically invented the term "action-items". Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be interactive? What does the term "users" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become holistic? If you syndicate macro-intuitively, you may have to innovate proactively. Think C2C2B. Think fractal, distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, sticky, open-source. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to utilize. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to seize seamlessly than to streamline intuitively. We will actualize the aptitude of user interfaces to synergize. Quick: do you have a holistic, extensible game plan for regulating new niches? Think ultra-sticky, reconfigurable. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be holistic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If you upgrade ultra-compellingly, you may have to extend globally. A company that can enable defiantly will (one day) be able to redefine easily. It sounds staggering, but it's true! Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of action-items. If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to optimize intuitively. We will iterate the term "60/24/7/365". The project management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We believe we know that it is better to harness virally than to architect seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think robust. Think customized. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (eventually) be able to empower defiantly. We believe we know that if you target macro-dynamically then you may also seize extensibly. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to matrix virally than to reintermediate ultra-globally. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Think reconfigurable, extensible. Think C2C2C. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for coping with emerging intra-visionary systems? Think leading-edge. Think robust. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to morph efficiently leads to the capability to leverage macro-macro-compellingly. We will streamline the ability of portals to architect. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be synergistic? It seems unclear, but it's realistic!