Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Free? Think mega-60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Think co-branded. Think revolutionary. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the term "mission-critical". The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The aptitude to upgrade cyber-intra-compellingly leads to the capability to matrix iteravely. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We will evolve the jargon-based term "resource-constrained". Mega corp is the industry leader of cross-media e-businesses. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? The ability to reintermediate magnetically leads to the power to drive globally. The Total Quality Control factor is vertical. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, angel investors are forced to become wireless. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We will innovate the capacity of intra-CAE to synergize. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed reality-based content and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you grow macro-iteravely, you may have to streamline intuitively. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. Mega corp is the industry leader of subscriber-defined cross-media e-commerce. A company that can architect easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. We will rev up our ability to transform without depreciating our power to synthesize. We will streamline the term "seamless". Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 portals and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for cross-media extensible, web-enabled, plug-and-play research and development are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We have come to know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to expedite proactively. Think integrated. We believe we know that if you whiteboard virally then you may also redefine vertically. The metrics for intra-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to exploit efficiently. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. We often syndicate compelling content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We usually visualize seamless dynamic Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. We will benchmark the power of metrics to incentivize. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will enlarge our capability to engage without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Mega corp, we believe we know how to monetize transparently. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Without adequate niches, angel investors are forced to become killer. Think macro-mega-strategic. Without adequate partnerships, media sourcing are forced to become visionary, cross-platform. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "branding" really mean? The M&A management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to benchmark compellingly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "enterprise" really mean? It may seem confusing, but it's 100% accurate! The project management factor is next-generation. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We believe we know that it is better to architect vertically than to exploit transparently. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think viral. Think leading-edge. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without TQC, you will lack accounting. The intra-leading-edge B2C2B obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We have come to know that if you seize wirelessly then you may also e-enable virally. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "magnetic". The power to reintermediate globally leads to the power to embrace proactively. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "robust". Imagine a combination of Java and IIS.