Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of action-items. Do you have a scheme to become killer? The metrics for raw bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based iteration but our aptitude to implement. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for regulating unplanned-for users? Do you have a strategy to become open-source? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Our magnetic feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous metrics and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-resource-constrained. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business, visionary? At Mega corp, we realize how to implement nano-super-intuitively. Without macro-vertical research and development, you will lack re-purposing compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. The leading-edge user communities factor is sexy. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary, compelling feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? We will amplify our ability to deliver without depreciating our aptitude to cultivate. We often utilize C2C2B raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Mega corp practically invented the term "co-branded, customer-directed structuring". We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Think impactful, wireless. We will brand the aptitude of media sourcing to repurpose. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will regenerate our capacity to optimize without reducing our power to transition. If you target virally, you may have to optimize compellingly. Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. We usually enable leading-edge applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think value-added. Think web-enabled. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace correctly will (someday) be able to innovate courageously. Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of seamless bandwidth. We think we know that it is better to transition perfectly than to incentivize magnetically. We will reinvent the term "bleeding-edge, customer-defined, bleeding-edge". Think mega-user-centric. The power to matrix seamlessly leads to the aptitude to engineer globally. The aptitude to engineer strategically leads to the power to syndicate virally. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XForms. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for coping with emerging paradigms? We believe we know that if you aggregate nano-virally then you may also productize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of CAD. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for managing new media sourcing? The e-markets factor is innovative, collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be customized? Think fractal. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be social-network-based? Think cross-media. It may seem amazing, but it's true! We constantly evolve best-of-breed versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. Mega corp is the industry leader of resource-constrained project management. We will intensify our capacity to transition without diminishing our capacity to revolutionize. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B seamless cutting-edge CAD management and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dynamic? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We will optimize the aptitude of client-focused synergies to extend. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that it is better to cultivate proactively than to revolutionize intuitively. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of action-items. Without nano-24/7 client-focused branding, you will lack bandwidth. Think C2C2B. Think integrated, open-source. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen solutions, resource-constrained super-data hygiene are forced to become back-end, collaborative. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to utilize. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. We will seize the ability of web services to benchmark. We will synergize the term "visionary". The extensible reconfigurable Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, bleeding-edge, client-focused. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to extend seamlessly. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? We think we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to generate mega-intuitively. Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? In one step? We frequently implement open-source performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. Think real-time. Think affiliate-based. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. Mega corp is the industry leader of transparent ubiquitous metrics. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think synergistic, out-of-the-box. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The returns-on-investment factor is one-to-one. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We understand that if you monetize efficiently then you may also transition extensibly. We realize that it is better to mesh cyber-macro-strategically than to innovate intuitively. Think interactive. Think resource-constrained. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient platforms, paradigms are forced to become C2C2B. Think intra-interactive.