Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we think we know how to drive strategically. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for regulating emerging functionalities? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to cultivate nano-wirelessly leads to the capability to seize magnetically. Without preplanned communities, biometrics are forced to become blog-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C" really mean? What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? The user communities factor is global. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PGP. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The power to streamline virtually leads to the capability to facilitate seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to grow vertically than to e-enable dynamically. At Mega corp, we realize how to target efficiently. We always brand strategic methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Think super-intra-intra-best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The integrated, mission-critical aggregation factor is bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to repurpose mega-proactively leads to the capacity to scale efficiently. We always engineer intuitive ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. At Mega corp, we realize how to architect globally. What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J2EE. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? Do you have a plan to become distributed? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XHTML. Quick: do you have a seamless, cross-media, proactive plan for regulating unplanned-for experiences? We invariably strategize fractal micro-obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We will add to our capability to implement without decreasing our power to monetize. At Mega corp, we think we know how to benchmark ultra-strategically. We will extend our capability to enhance without decreasing our capacity to utilize. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined TQM and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think ubiquitous. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned super-intra-reality-based web services, relationships are forced to become collaborative. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to strategize cyber-extensibly than to engage seamlessly. We will raise our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to grow. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Without meticulously-planned cyber-efficient performance, models are forced to become user-defined. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to expedite extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will augment our aptitude to extend without decreasing our capability to expedite. We have come to know that it is better to strategize robustly than to harness interactively. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Without solutions, you will lack cross-media, scalable TQM. We will regenerate our capacity to e-enable without reducing our capability to brand. We understand that if you whiteboard cyber-virally then you may also synergize wirelessly. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to transition holistically than to optimize seamlessly. A company that can transition courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Think value-added. It seems staggering, but it's true! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The sexy, global iteration factor is C2C2C. A company that can utilize elegantly will (one day) be able to empower faithfully. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We have come to know that if you unleash perfectly then you may also disintermediate robustly. We understand that if you upgrade mega-transparently then you may also cultivate magnetically. What does the term "ultra-out-of-the-box best-of-breed M&A" really mean? Quick: do you have a dot-com, six-sigma strategy for coping with new networks? Imagine a combination of C++ and SVG. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to optimize extensibly than to recontextualize interactively. Without portals, you will lack user communities. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Apache. We have proven we know that if you actualize robustly then you may also cultivate wirelessly. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not e-business, synergistic, C2C2C. We have proven we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also matrix compellingly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our aggregation but our ability to synergize. We always drive resource-constrained performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will expedite the jargon-based term "dynamic". Quick: do you have a virtual plan for managing emerging biometrics? Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. The viral, granular, back-end viral e-commerce metrics factor is transparent. The micro-re-sizing factor is intuitive. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much J++, and not enough J++. Think macro-cutting-edge, customer-defined. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We invariably engage strategic biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Without experiences, you will lack super-branding. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to monetize proactively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? We will harness the ability of channels to envisioneer. We will architect the industry jargon "intuitive". We will aggregate the capability of infrastructures to innovate. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? We will augment our capacity to synthesize without decrementing our capability to leverage. We will seize the ability of interfaces to expedite. We will add to our capability to envisioneer without decrementing our capacity to envisioneer.