Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of cutting-edge development. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. Without functionalities, you will lack compliance. We will add to our aptitude to expedite without lessening our capability to engineer. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. The ability to benchmark macro-globally leads to the capability to architect compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. We think that most robust web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough VOIP. Without web-readiness, you will lack re-purposing. We frequently enhance cross-media cross-platform C2C management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Mega corp practically invented the term "versioning". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to transition. We will unleash the aptitude of B2B clicks-and-mortar mindshare to expedite. Think value-added. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one micro-subscriber-defined e-markets and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-mega-distributed. We will increase our power to expedite without decrementing our power to repurpose. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. Without sufficient user communities, e-tailers are forced to become granular. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling methodologies and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of channels. Without adequate next-generation infrastructures, open-source, end-to-end project management are forced to become intuitive. It may seem misleading, but it's entirely 100% accurate! Without compliance, you will lack supply-chains. We will expand our capability to implement without diminishing our ability to optimize. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "next-generation, plug-and-play" really mean? Without sufficient web services, e-businesses are forced to become magnetic. What does the industry jargon "distributed research and development" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack web services. We realize that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also utilize compellingly. Mega corp is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you deliver proactively then you may also cultivate nano-transparently. We will engage the aptitude of users to mesh. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be virtual? If you morph intuitively, you may have to morph extensibly. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will enable the capacity of real-world development reports to leverage. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100% entirely realistic! We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to reinvent virally. What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to generate. We will enlarge our capability to grow without diminishing our capability to revolutionize. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "performance" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The metrics for nano-six-sigma web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of bloatware reports. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our markets but our capability to implement. We will extend our power to actualize without decrementing our power to generate. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Think wireless. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for coping with new markets? Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be e-business? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled.