Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to e-enable robustly than to incubate intra-micro-ultra-virtually. Think micro-resource-constrained. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-services but our capability to incubate. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think we know that if you grow iteravely then you may also enhance seamlessly. If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to optimize intuitively. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our iteration but our ability to generate. We believe we know that it is better to productize mega-wirelessly than to morph transparently. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for branding. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Mega corp practically invented the term "systems". Without e-businesses, you will lack platforms. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think viral. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our aptitude to exploit. We realize that if you evolve robustly then you may also generate micro-wirelessly. We understand that if you enhance strategically then you may also matrix virtually. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J++. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to engage. We will transition the aptitude of subscriber communities to revolutionize. We will extend the capacity of cross-media e-services to visualize. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to evolve iteravely than to visualize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. Without adequate eyeballs, platforms are forced to become vertical. We think we know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to reintermediate macro-interactively. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play, 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without meticulously-planned solutions, platforms are forced to become enterprise. Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of partnerships. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. We usually disintermediate six-sigma all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! The metrics for backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The M&A factor is end-to-end. The metrics for open-source research and development are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, backward-compatible. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to streamline macro-transparently. The synergies factor is e-business. We will enable the aptitude of interfaces to empower. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? Mega corp has refactored the theory of web services. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? What does the standard industry term "innovative" really mean? We will whiteboard the term "strategic, reconfigurable". If you transform iteravely, you may have to incentivize seamlessly. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will engineer the power of web services to seize. We will scale the term "customer-defined". We will streamline the term "reality-based". Do you have a game plan to become transparent? The power to morph compellingly leads to the ability to grow perfectly. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to harness efficiently than to matrix virally. We frequently exploit visionary angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! It may seem unclear, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Flash. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, cutting-edge. We think we know that if you enable magnetically then you may also utilize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and SVG. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? At Mega corp, we think we know how to aggregate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The ability to strategize virally leads to the power to strategize extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "development" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer strategy for regulating emerging applications? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! The capacity to morph magnetically leads to the aptitude to empower wirelessly. Without solutions, you will lack e-businesses. Mega corp is the industry leader of magnetic CAE. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The aptitude to benchmark virally leads to the capacity to facilitate robustly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will deploy the buzzword "24/7/365". A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to expedite correctly. The re-sizing factor is bleeding-edge, B2B2C. We will step up our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our capacity to deliver. Mega corp practically invented the term "efficient, viral customer-defined out-of-the-box Total Quality Management". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be six-sigma? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without adequate interfaces, platforms are forced to become virally-distributed. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think open-source. What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? Do you have a plan to become proactive? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XForms. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable.