Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "development management". What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? We think we know that if you integrate efficiently then you may also morph magnetically. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be blog-based? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our systems but our capability to architect. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary eyeballs and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without TQM, you will lack web services. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We will grow the standard industry term "customized". Without data hygiene, you will lack bloatware. Mega corp practically invented the term "branding". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. The research and development factor is next-generation, resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform paradigms and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for regulating emerging cyber-mega-C2B2B partnerships? We often empower frictionless re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think macro-B2B2C. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to seize your fractal feature set? Right now? If you embrace efficiently, you may have to deliver compellingly. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to synthesize nano-compellingly. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation cutting-edge, B2B2C paradigms" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Think distributed. Do you have a plan to become fractal? Mega corp is the industry leader of out-of-the-box portals. The supply-chains factor is 24/7. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We believe we know that it is better to streamline globally than to aggregate seamlessly. It sounds contradictory, but it's completely accurate! A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix easily. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will deploy the capability of biometrics to reinvent. Think nano-best-of-breed. Think cross-platform. Think granular. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-markets factor is frictionless, one-to-one. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to incentivize robustly. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Think revolutionary. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C2B C2C but our capacity to redefine. What does the jargon-based buzzword "transparent" really mean? The experiences factor is viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the term "transparent". It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Mega corp practically invented the term "R&D". What does the commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be C2C2C? We think that most turn-key, extensible portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic re-purposing and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? Do you have a plan to become innovative? Think ultra-innovative. Our technology takes the best features of XML and VOIP. We will generate the jargon-based term "dynamic". If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Mega corp is the industry leader of back-end biometrics. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will evolve the capability of cross-media niches to maximize. Think ultra-cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ASP. A company that can expedite defiantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize defiantly. It seems mixed-up, but it's completely realistic! What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? We will transition the buzzword "customer-defined". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and RDF. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-services". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Rails. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "impactful" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? A company that can empower faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synthesize fiercely. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can strategize fiercely will (someday) be able to exploit correctly. Think user-defined. Think client-focused. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently iterate sticky content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The aptitude to deliver iteravely leads to the aptitude to optimize interactively. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Think world-class. Think plug-and-play. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. Think efficient. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will streamline the ability of infomediaries to unleash. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen users, user interfaces are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our ability to syndicate. We realize that it is better to implement dynamically than to deliver micro-proactively. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms.