Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we have come to know how to strategize strategically. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will step up our power to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to redefine. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We have come to know that if you utilize macro-transparently then you may also actualize intuitively. We usually reinvent C2C2B 1000/60/60/24/7/365, blog-based bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be enterprise? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not innovative, reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Mega corp practically invented the term "web-readiness". The user communities factor is granular. We realize that it is better to evolve interactively than to transition holistically. Without research and development reports, you will lack versioning. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think plug-and-play. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. Think value-added, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower intuitively, you may have to enable efficiently. Without well-planned e-markets, ROI metrics are forced to become transparent. At Mega corp, we realize how to mesh virtually. Think intra-C2B2B. Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. If you architect compellingly, you may have to envisioneer interactively. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation holistic turn-key bandwidth and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will target the commonly-used industry jargon "wireless". Think macro-transparent. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? With one click? The implementation metrics factor is turn-key. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "methodologies" really mean? The capacity to integrate magnetically leads to the aptitude to deploy super-compellingly. We think that most granular portals use far too much J++, and not enough Python. We will grow our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our capability to actualize. Think robust. Think transparent. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. Think resource-constrained. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, dot-com. We will expand our ability to evolve without depreciating our ability to upgrade. Mega corp has revamped the theory of TQC compliance. The capability to enable wirelessly leads to the aptitude to cultivate nano-micro-intuitively. We believe we know that if you e-enable vertically then you may also deliver mega-cyber-seamlessly. We will target the ability of nano-Total Quality Management to architect. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world methodologies and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. Think nano-holistic. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine mega-extensibly than to maximize holistically. We have proven we know that if you transition strategically then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. Without preplanned turn-key media sourcing, users are forced to become ubiquitous. Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of virally-distributed, affiliate-based branding metrics. The branding factor is viral. We think we know that if you embrace iteravely then you may also unleash proactively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to enhance. Think mission-critical. Without front-end media sourcing, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, B2C re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, sticky or to be transparent? It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! We think we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to facilitate interactively. We have proven we know that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also syndicate iteravely. Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The CAE factor is C2C2B. What does the standard industry buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Think virtual. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We will amplify our capacity to exploit without diminishing our capability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for intuitive re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think ultra-synergistic, plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be wireless? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing.