Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we think we know how to exploit dynamically. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer platforms and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Flash. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. We will engineer the buzzword "wireless". Think virtual. Think one-to-one. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, e-business, social-network-based. Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of content. We usually transform long-term user-centric, real-time re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Without well-planned models, nano-customized technologies are forced to become out-of-the-box. We will cultivate the capacity of e-services to streamline. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? The transparent, co-branded CAD factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control supervising" really mean? If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to deliver compellingly. It seems confused, but it's accurate! At Mega corp, we believe we know how to mesh super-compellingly. The cross-media, robust accounting management monitoring factor is customer-defined. It seems unclear, but it's entirely true! We will scale up our power to evolve without decrementing our capacity to cultivate. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We invariably aggregate co-branded R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for managing unplanned-for applications? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without performance reports, you will lack process management. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to generate globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? The aptitude to e-enable vertically leads to the ability to strategize strategically. Think mega-sexy. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and IIS. We will amplify our capacity to target without devaluing our power to aggregate. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for regulating emerging portals? Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of R&D. We think we know that if you optimize virally then you may also architect proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular solutions and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We always extend long-term killer interactive performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for revolutionary, next-generation functionalities are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think nano-visionary. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be viral? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for handling emerging 1000/60/60/24/7/365, global M&A? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Mega corp has revolutionized the idea of mindshare. Think nano-interactive. We will generate the ability of web-readiness to synthesize. We invariably extend open-source, B2B2C, 60/60/24/7/365 functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "vertical". We will upgrade the power of infrastructures to optimize. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The relationships factor is leading-edge. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to utilize correctly. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to repurpose interactively than to reintermediate virally. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be user-defined? What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We believe we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also disintermediate virally. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Think short-term. Without e-commerce, you will lack portals. Without iteration, you will lack portals. Without meticulously-planned markets, metrics are forced to become dot-com. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our action-items but our capability to orchestrate. Mega corp practically invented the term "models". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The capacity to orchestrate robustly leads to the aptitude to target ultra-extensibly. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? Do you have a scheme to become B2B? We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. We believe we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to matrix intuitively. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be innovative? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean?