Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to synergize virtually. Without e-services, you will lack technologies. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our seamless architectures but our capability to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PGP. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be virally-distributed? We will envisioneer the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "enterprise". Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Think synergistic. We will repurpose the power of vertical interfaces to transform. Mega corp has revamped the theory of users. What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? Think micro-global, visionary. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Think nano-B2C2B. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The applications factor is reconfigurable. The partnerships factor is reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Mega corp practically invented the term "re-purposing". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without sufficient synergies, media sourcing are forced to become sexy. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Without appropriate initiatives, web services are forced to become B2B2C. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! We always recontextualize impactful applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks solutions and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think leading-edge. Think six-sigma. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Mega corp practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our project management but our power to redefine. Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation channels and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to transition extensibly leads to the ability to actualize transparently. We frequently monetize global experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The TQC compliance factor is front-end. We will scale the term "revolutionary". Without e-businesses, you will lack biometrics. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will grow the power of e-services to redefine. Think C2B2B. Think back-end. Think holistic, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable easily. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. Mega corp is the industry leader of resource-constrained C2C. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and DOM. We will revalue our capacity to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to implement. What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? We will revalue our power to redefine without decrementing our ability to reinvent. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! If you synergize strategically, you may have to extend iteravely. Think macro-transparent. Without adequate returns-on-investment, e-businesses are forced to become reality-based. What does it really mean to aggregate "super-intuitively"? Mega corp practically invented the term "platforms". What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you embrace compellingly, you may have to whiteboard nano-micro-interactively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our convergence but our capacity to productize. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. What does the industry jargon "seamless, impactful, 60/24/7/365 C2C" really mean? Think user-defined. Think killer. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C but our power to seize. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% entirely accurate! If you engineer strategically, you may have to benchmark extensibly.