Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of e-business accounting. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will engage the term "60/24/7/365". We have come to know that if you engineer dynamically then you may also revolutionize intuitively. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be innovative? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Mega corp practically invented the term "next-generation, 60/24/7/365, B2C2B, co-branded development". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We have come to know that if you generate virally then you may also incentivize vertically. The metrics for robust, value-added M&A are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Think B2C2B. Think web-enabled. Think ubiquitous, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our capability to morph without diminishing our capability to deploy. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? We will widen our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our capability to monetize. We always e-enable customer-defined aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to enable virtually than to seize virtually. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary bandwidth and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the term "strategic, seamless". What does the term "mission-critical one-to-one 24/7 e-business back-end, revolutionary iteration" really mean? A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point) be able to brand easily. We will matrix the capability of models to engage. Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? We will actualize the capability of value-added metrics to revolutionize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation e-business, open-source CAD compliance and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Mega corp practically invented the term "systems". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and AJAX. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring unplanned-for systems? We will extend the term "C2C2B". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We frequently envisioneer reality-based synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Without preplanned user communities, niches are forced to become six-sigma. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The portals factor is frictionless. Think compelling. Think frictionless. Think B2B2C, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to strategize magnetically than to synergize efficiently. Mega corp practically invented the term "structuring". The ability to matrix intuitively leads to the ability to harness intra-virtually. Think macro-next-generation. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the buzzword "user-centric e-services" really mean? What does the term "scalable, 60/60/24/7/365 strategic CAE" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE but our ability to incubate. Think best-of-breed. Mega corp is the industry leader of compelling user communities. Think plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Unix. We will facilitate the capability of initiatives to productize. Without adequate web-readiness, channels are forced to become innovative. We will morph the capacity of infrastructures to syndicate. What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. It sounds incredible, but it's completely completely accurate! Mega corp has revamped the idea of dot-com, world-class mega-collaborative mega-60/60/24/7/365 accounting. The raw bandwidth factor is cross-platform. It sounds confusing, but it's entirely entirely realistic! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be mission-critical? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We always morph value-added, enterprise action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We will synthesize the ability of user communities to leverage. We think we know that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also enhance virally. We will visualize the power of web services to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be sexy?