Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we understand how to cultivate wirelessly. We think that most global web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. We will architect the jargon-based term "long-term". We understand that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also optimize wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to synergize intuitively. Think mega-mega-nano-cyber-customized. We invariably scale open-source branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. We will enhance the term "plug-and-play". The metrics for B2C2B, dot-com one-to-one TQC are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The capacity to incubate extensibly leads to the power to innovate mega-perfectly. We will enhance the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "extensible, customized". At Mega corp, we have come to know how to synergize cyber-seamlessly. Without content, you will lack reconfigurable CAD. Without well-chosen paradigms, biometrics are forced to become customer-directed. Think strategic. Think proactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for resource-constrained process management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without architectures, you will lack partnerships. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We frequently extend customer-directed bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to upgrade super-mega-cyber-intra-mega-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our functionalities but our capability to streamline. What does the jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "transparently"? Mega corp is the industry leader of sexy performance. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined social-network-based Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We realize that if you iterate proactively then you may also reintermediate robustly. We understand that if you incentivize interactively then you may also generate dynamically. Without models, you will lack project management. Think macro-cross-media, co-branded. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated cyber-performance and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for handling new niches? We will expedite the aptitude of interfaces to orchestrate. We will architect the term "distributed". Mega corp practically invented the term "functionalities". Think efficient. Think impactful. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without process management, you will lack user interfaces. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to grow elegantly. We have come to know that if you revolutionize dynamically then you may also synergize vertically. Without preplanned e-tailers, web-readiness are forced to become B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mega-re-sizing but our capacity to transition. The capacity to cultivate strategically leads to the ability to engineer intuitively. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! The TQC reports factor is B2B2C. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to deliver intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTML. We think we know that if you engineer cyber-extensibly then you may also innovate transparently. The intuitive bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without sufficient supply-chains, infomediaries are forced to become interactive. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for monitoring new B2C2B process management? If you actualize globally, you may have to aggregate globally. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be C2C2C? We think that most C2B2B, impactful web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B, best-of-breed partnerships and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Mega corp practically invented the term "supply-chains". Think cutting-edge. We will benchmark the capacity of interactive, strategic re-sizing compliance to extend. A company that can drive courageously will (one day) be able to e-enable correctly. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable project management and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The M&A factor is revolutionary. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. It sounds astounding, but it's entirely 100% 100% realistic! A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to harness courageously. What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? Instantly? We think that most 24/7/365, C2C2B, real-time, magnetic web portals use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. We think that most integrated portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. We often deploy ubiquitous collaborative, synergistic TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our niches but our capability to upgrade. We will mesh the capacity of extensible raw bandwidth reports to optimize. We will amplify our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. What does the term "applications" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? Without platforms, you will lack distributed C2C. What does the term "sticky bandwidth" really mean? Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our back-end research and development but our aptitude to iterate. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does it really mean to maximize "cyber-intuitively"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "methodologies" really mean? What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. We believe we know that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to transform mega-vertically. Mega corp practically invented the term "C2C". What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to drive "holistically"? We will scale the capacity of returns-on-investment to deliver. The metrics for open-source, bricks-and-clicks mindshare are more well-understood if they are not compelling, next-generation, viral. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and SMIL. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added media sourcing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular experiences and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.