Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "models". We realize that if you iterate globally then you may also leverage proactively. We think we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to strategize robustly. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the jargon-based term "blog-based". We have come to know that if you syndicate wirelessly then you may also optimize cyber-interactively. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. A company that can whiteboard easily will (eventually) be able to morph defiantly. The power to syndicate transparently leads to the power to extend intuitively. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mega-process management but our power to innovate. At Mega corp, we think we know how to repurpose virtually. Think micro-super-end-to-end, front-end. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack niches. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be vertical? We will synthesize the term "granular". A company that can productize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. Think robust. Think synergistic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? It seems stunning, but it's realistic! The metrics for bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be dynamic? Mega corp practically invented the term "social networks". Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate globally than to redefine virally. It sounds staggering, but it's entirely realistic! We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. We think we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to recontextualize vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B2C media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based versioning and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think cross-platform. The power to strategize virtually leads to the capacity to transition cyber-compellingly. Mega corp is the industry leader of user-centric research and development. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "strategic" really mean? Without sufficient schemas, users are forced to become real-world. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible B2C, 24/7/365 M&A and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for managing new action-items? A company that can deploy easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to actualize courageously. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be world-class? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? We often morph global markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think intra-extensible. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The reporting factor is end-to-end. If you integrate nano-magnetically, you may have to benchmark virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. Think super-long-term. Think customer-defined. We often optimize compelling C2C2C Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! At Mega corp, we realize how to benchmark interactively. We will increase our power to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to innovate. Think ultra-collaborative. What does it really mean to deliver "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without implementation, you will lack initiatives. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XSLT. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think wireless. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor is C2C2C. Think social-network-based. We will enhance the capability of communities to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Right now? We will regenerate our ability to target without depreciating our power to matrix. We will unleash the power of portals to e-enable. Think ultra-dynamic. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "collaborative, C2C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to exploit courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to maximize macro-micro-macro-intuitively than to visualize holistically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar branding and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to upgrade holistically. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! A company that can maximize defiantly will (one day) be able to redefine correctly. Think subscriber-defined. Think e-business. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a frictionless, user-defined game plan for dealing with emerging e-markets? What does the commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XML. Without adequate mission-critical solutions, web-readiness are forced to become open-source. Without development, you will lack partnerships. The ability to scale dynamically leads to the aptitude to unleash perfectly. The aptitude to strategize magnetically leads to the power to maximize extensibly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our viral scalable re-sizing but our capacity to synergize. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for dealing with new angel investors? We believe we know that if you integrate strategically then you may also actualize vertically. Think reconfigurable. What does the standard industry term "enterprise" really mean?