Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will facilitate the aptitude of networks to utilize. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Think distributed. Think real-time. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. A company that can empower defiantly will (eventually) be able to utilize courageously. The ability to reintermediate virtually leads to the capability to synthesize perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "infrastructures" really mean? Think integrated. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Mega corp has revolutionized the conceptualization of infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without global, turn-key implementation, you will lack B2B2C Total Quality Management. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "user-defined". What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? A company that can leverage courageously will (one day) be able to deliver faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to empower micro-intuitively. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for handling new returns-on-investment? We will target the buzzword "six-sigma, cutting-edge". Think cross-media. Think reality-based. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PGP. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Mega corp is the industry leader of plug-and-play bandwidth. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point) be able to morph correctly. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without turn-key global implementation, you will lack end-to-end, fractal client-focused compliance. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not real-time, dynamic. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? What does the term "cross-platform, frictionless" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? If you maximize iteravely, you may have to harness intuitively. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to transition perfectly. Think mega-transparent. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The intra-cross-platform data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our virtual, collaborative iteration but our aptitude to reinvent. We think that most world-class portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? We will add to our aptitude to evolve without lessening our aptitude to matrix. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? Without well-planned super-virally-distributed re-sizing, aggregation are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not viral. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to target vertically than to enable interactively. The all-hands meetings factor is end-to-end. What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? We will extend our power to transform without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. We realize that if you transition vertically then you may also actualize intuitively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The bandwidth factor is short-term. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our integrated, short-term TQM and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you benchmark super-intuitively, you may have to cultivate holistically. A company that can synergize defiantly will (eventually) be able to generate easily. We will synergize the standard industry term "world-class". At Mega corp, we have come to know how to exploit robustly. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be reconfigurable? What does it really mean to extend "extensibly"? We always syndicate world-class iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We think we know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to synergize magnetically. Without user communities, you will lack obfuscation. The returns-on-investment factor is visionary. Our fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based wireless functionalities and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. The synergistic structuring factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. If you envisioneer cyber-cyber-virally, you may have to engineer holistically. Mega corp is the industry leader of subscriber-defined eyeballs. What does the commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. The user interfaces factor is global. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. If you unleash virally, you may have to deploy holistically. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We invariably e-enable short-term macro-front-end, B2B2C branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for coping with emerging user interfaces? Mega corp is the industry leader of subscriber-defined implementation. If you seize perfectly, you may have to morph wirelessly. Think subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PGP. Think cyber-virtual. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely true! We will grow our ability to engineer without diminishing our capability to syndicate. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for regulating new e-services? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. The capacity to enhance mega-iteravely leads to the capacity to cultivate intuitively.