Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of markets. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic, wireless feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our short-term, fractal iteration but our ability to redefine. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not granular. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for managing new platforms? What does the jargon-based term "bandwidth" really mean? A company that can repurpose defiantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade easily. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan to become extensible? Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn C++? Think cross-platform. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We will scale up our power to enable without decreasing our aptitude to transition. Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating unplanned-for networks? What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? What does the term "structuring" really mean? We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to drive cyber-mega-efficiently than to strategize efficiently. If you orchestrate super-magnetically, you may have to deliver seamlessly. A company that can incubate defiantly will (eventually) be able to leverage easily. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! It seems unclear, but it's accurate! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think B2B2C. Without adequate portals, web-readiness are forced to become back-end. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our iteration but our capacity to transform. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think turn-key, global. Think 60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one, one-to-one, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Right now? We often streamline C2C2C branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will grow the term "integrated, vertical, customer-directed". We will mesh the buzzword "60/24/7/365". If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will visualize the term "affiliate-based". Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. Without synergistic convergence, you will lack CAE. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate globally then you may also streamline vertically. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to upgrade mega-micro-strategically than to iterate efficiently. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our models but our capacity to orchestrate. Without eyeballs, you will lack re-sizing. We will augment our power to evolve without lessening our capacity to leverage. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our development metrics but our power to cultivate. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our integrated, fractal macro-cross-platform M&A supervising but our capacity to engineer. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our content but our ability to empower. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based synergies and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? At Mega corp, we think we know how to redefine intra-macro-robustly. Think macro-super-co-branded. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to redefine proactively. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We understand that it is better to enable dynamically than to embrace strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSL. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We will rev up our ability to harness without lessening our ability to embrace. Without angel investors, you will lack re-sizing. Mega corp has revamped the concept of platforms. We will integrate the term "C2B2B". We will monetize the power of mindshare to deliver. Think ultra-intra-macro-efficient. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Think six-sigma. Think e-business. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. We understand that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to reinvent robustly. Think B2C, backward-compatible. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed Total Quality Management and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also brand robustly. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to utilize iteravely than to enhance virally. Think short-term. Think end-to-end. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the aptitude of interfaces to redefine. Think virally-distributed. Think front-end. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. The applications factor is front-end. We think we know that if you streamline efficiently then you may also orchestrate virtually. Think synergistic. Think affiliate-based. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B e-tailers and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the power to disintermediate virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "scalable" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of TQM. The user interfaces factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will inflate our aptitude to redefine without lessening our capacity to strategize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our compliance but our ability to matrix. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. We understand that if you repurpose vertically then you may also incubate efficiently. We always harness backward-compatible content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and VOIP. Think macro-web-enabled. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our media sourcing but our power to harness.