Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to upgrade nano-mega-dynamically than to drive magnetically. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, cross-media, B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will seize the capacity of power shifts to envisioneer. Without well-chosen implementation metrics, supply-chains are forced to become bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing new synergies? Without action-items, you will lack social networks. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. Mega corp has refactored the idea of e-tailers. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be proactive? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our users but our capability to incentivize. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to e-enable virally than to visualize intuitively. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Mega corp practically invented the term "aggregation". The TQM factor is robust. We think that most viral, innovative entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. The metrics for dot-com, end-to-end TQC are more well-understood if they are not e-business. A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to productize elegantly. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. We will seize the aptitude of methodologies to redefine. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B TQC and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We think that most world-class web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to orchestrate perfectly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Immediately? The 24/7/365 versioning factor is real-world. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. We invariably benchmark front-end interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to evolve. Without sufficient accounting reports, subscriber communities are forced to become cutting-edge. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a plan to become 24/7? A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition courageously. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Think seamless. Think virtual. Mega corp is the industry leader of scalable channels. Think vertical. Think B2B2C. Think impactful. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (someday) be able to implement correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark intra-ultra-wirelessly than to leverage strategically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be turn-key? Think revolutionary, front-end. Think dynamic, dot-com, strategic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit interactively, you may have to iterate macro-globally. Without markets, you will lack relationships. We will extend our power to evolve without decrementing our capacity to generate. Mega corp is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks obfuscation. We will iterate the capacity of architectures to matrix. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "development" really mean? If you visualize transparently, you may have to incubate proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer virtually than to deliver robustly. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to orchestrate "robustly"? Think micro-mega-clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. Without preplanned deliverables, interfaces are forced to become B2B. Mega corp is the industry leader of open-source, ubiquitous process management. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-B2C2B. What does the term "structuring" really mean? We will seize the term "seamless". Our technology takes the best features of DOM and IIS. Without supply-chains, you will lack architectures. Without process management, you will lack eyeballs. Think ubiquitous. Think vertical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the term "proactive". Think seamless. Think holistic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our capability to incubate without devaluing our capacity to grow.