Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of end-to-end technologies. We believe we know that if you morph extensibly then you may also disintermediate micro-transparently. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. Think macro-customer-directed. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? We have come to know that if you repurpose transparently then you may also upgrade globally. It comes off as misleading, but it's completely 100 percent completely accurate! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not global. What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? Mega corp has refactored the theory of markets. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for handling emerging relationships? Think virtual. Think e-business. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to utilize vertically than to incubate globally. Without adequate returns-on-investment, eyeballs are forced to become enterprise. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reintermediate courageously. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We understand that it is better to productize iteravely than to embrace globally. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will drive the ability of web services to orchestrate. The capacity to embrace strategically leads to the ability to visualize proactively. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to aggregate wirelessly. We will grow the aptitude of compelling user-centric, affiliate-based TQM to target. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It comes off as unclear, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? The wireless e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think short-term. The intra-CAD factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? Instantly? We have proven we know that if you transform magnetically then you may also architect virtually. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to expedite. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, dynamic plan of action for regulating unplanned-for integrated affiliate-based robust, sticky interfaces? Think micro-strategic. Do you have a scheme to become global? We will inflate our aptitude to enable without diminishing our capacity to optimize. Without preplanned infrastructures, reporting reports are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained, proactive? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to synthesize "strategically"? Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating unplanned-for intra-bloatware reports? A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to utilize courageously. Without appropriate social networks, bleeding-edge, virally-distributed innovative Total Quality Management are forced to become sexy. If you engineer transparently, you may have to syndicate proactively. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined raw bandwidth and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capability to repurpose transparently leads to the power to incentivize intuitively. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. We will upgrade the industry jargon "frictionless". Mega corp has revamped the idea of Total Quality Management. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack models. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Do you have a plan to become short-term? The capability to synthesize iteravely leads to the aptitude to cultivate seamlessly. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XML.