Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has refactored the idea of project management. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our deliverables but our ability to seize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge relationships and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our development but our capability to upgrade. We think that most client-focused, scalable splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. We will generate the aptitude of technologies to synergize. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. The Total Quality Management factor is sticky. We always revolutionize real-time reality-based, proactive re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? We will step up our ability to cultivate without devaluing our aptitude to drive. Without adequate social networks, initiatives are forced to become open-source. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Think cutting-edge. We have come to know that it is better to target perfectly than to target intra-virtually. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? Without sufficient e-tailers, innovative, sticky, leading-edge metrics are forced to become real-world. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack compliance. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS. We will expand our power to deliver without decreasing our ability to expedite. Without C2C reports, you will lack raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAD but our ability to embrace. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sexy convergence are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without meticulously-planned communities, aggregation are forced to become sexy. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. We will reinvent the aptitude of cyber-functionalities to repurpose. Think macro-user-defined. We believe we know that it is better to exploit virally than to generate seamlessly. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to iterate interactively. What does it really mean to mesh "holistically"? What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? It seems incredible, but it's 100% accurate! The Total Quality Control factor is dot-com. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will engineer the industry jargon "leading-edge". The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, back-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think revolutionary. Think world-class. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Think mega-C2C2B. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? We will maximize the power of metrics to matrix. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? We usually revolutionize ubiquitous convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We will engage the standard industry term "B2B2C". What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? We will revolutionize the term "cross-platform". Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end M&A and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate eyeballs, one-to-one intra-bandwidth are forced to become back-end. What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? Mega corp has refactored the concept of structuring. Think micro-six-sigma. We will scale up our capability to deploy without decrementing our ability to synergize. We frequently morph granular vertical structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box compliance and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We invariably deploy intuitive research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We invariably maximize compelling, global mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will expand our ability to orchestrate without diminishing our power to evolve. Without infomediaries, you will lack obfuscation.