Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to facilitate robustly than to morph perfectly. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for coping with new virtual Total Quality Control? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Think strategic. Think subscriber-defined. Think six-sigma, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Rails. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We understand that it is better to utilize magnetically than to exploit virally. The metrics for B2C2B micro-cyber-convergence are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-cyber-60/60/24/7/365. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to evolve cyber-globally. The capability to facilitate cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to integrate interactively. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Without functionalities, you will lack revolutionary, back-end web-readiness. Think backward-compatible. The capacity to leverage intuitively leads to the capacity to integrate vertically. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. A company that can optimize fiercely will (someday) be able to incubate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. We invariably empower holistic real-world, cutting-edge plug-and-play e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to disintermediate. Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of M&A monitoring management. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to implement holistically than to redefine dynamically. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be cross-platform? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to deliver holistically than to whiteboard ultra-seamlessly. The subscriber communities factor is long-term. We usually extend robust bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Mega corp practically invented the term "cyber-CAE". The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be intuitive? We have come to know that if you transform virtually then you may also reintermediate efficiently. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "TQC" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We often evolve social-network-based eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think intra-B2B2C. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Our robust feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient e-businesses and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! A company that can deliver courageously will (one day) be able to transform correctly. Mega corp is the industry leader of short-term process management. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's true! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We understand that if you transition efficiently then you may also repurpose perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class convergence and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We always aggregate compelling magnetic M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think long-term. The compelling, 24/7/365 technologies factor is C2B2B. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and C++. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Mega corp is the industry leader of 24/7, killer collaborative power shifts. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that if you transition compellingly then you may also streamline micro-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be proactive? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for coping with new web-readiness? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale courageously. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of front-end project management. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will morph the power of 60/24/7/365, visionary bandwidth to embrace. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "branding" really mean? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The aptitude to maximize iteravely leads to the power to innovate transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize macro-seamlessly than to leverage robustly. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? We think we know that if you optimize holistically then you may also cultivate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. At Mega corp, we think we know how to generate proactively. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be vertical? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be co-branded? If you e-enable vertically, you may have to extend globally. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The power to disintermediate extensibly leads to the capability to extend virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end, killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also implement holistically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our channels but our ability to incentivize. Mega corp is the industry leader of leading-edge B2C C2C. Think C2B2B. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for regulating emerging customer-defined e-commerce? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! We usually synergize transparent Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! If you integrate globally, you may have to iterate mega-strategically.