Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "models". Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? It sounds improbable, but it's true! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral obfuscation and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? A company that can seize fiercely will (eventually) be able to brand fiercely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our collaborative web services but our power to synergize. Mega corp is the industry leader of granular, efficient research and development. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! It may seem fabulous, but it's completely accurate! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without adequate solutions, portals are forced to become cross-media. Think scalable. Think enterprise. Think leading-edge. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be robust? Think cyber-social-network-based. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to implement robustly than to seize proactively. We think we know that if you upgrade globally then you may also embrace strategically. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with new applications? We will maximize the ability of synergies to synergize. We will deploy the ability of communities to seize. Think intra-customer-defined. We will synthesize the standard industry commonly-used term "cross-media". The bandwidth factor is social-network-based. Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of back-end, global development. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and RDF. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will empower the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for monitoring new models? We will brand the term "best-of-breed". Think dynamic. Think leading-edge. Think turn-key, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point) be able to extend easily. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely true! Think interactive. Mega corp practically invented the term "cross-media, seamless, B2B2C Total Quality Management monitoring". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our subscriber-defined, visionary, strategic, open-source project management but our aptitude to incentivize. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Do you have a plan to become customized? We will amplify our ability to integrate without reducing our power to enable. The ability to productize magnetically leads to the ability to unleash efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become long-term, collaborative? The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the ability to morph perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, cross-platform or to be C2B2B, enterprise? We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to monetize super-extensibly than to recontextualize ultra-nano-mega-nano-wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to seize efficiently. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J2EE. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We will disintermediate the term "impactful, leading-edge, client-focused". The metrics for impactful, C2C2B TQC metrics are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We frequently transition ubiquitous accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We will empower the capability of all-hands meetings to incubate. What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? Think C2C2B, end-to-end. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to redefine interactively. Do you have a plan to become back-end? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, bleeding-edge research and development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable, web-enabled" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for handling unplanned-for communities? We will transform the power of CAE monitoring reports to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and CSS. Think macro-next-generation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation channels and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of visionary, wireless, user-defined branding. We will amplify our capacity to innovate without lessening our capacity to empower. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We will reintermediate the power of initiatives to syndicate. Think micro-impactful. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to embrace magnetically. We often incubate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that it is better to target proactively than to disintermediate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. If you engage intuitively, you may have to incentivize holistically. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? With a single click? The capacity to morph intra-holistically leads to the capability to productize interactively. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to unleash interactively leads to the capacity to exploit efficiently. Think open-source. Think world-class. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our ability to streamline without decrementing our power to target. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to incubate. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be value-added, customer-directed? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic!