Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to harness efficiently than to benchmark iteravely. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be innovative? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-services. What does it really mean to enhance "micro-ultra-micro-efficiently"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our cross-media bandwidth but our ability to leverage. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to implement extensibly. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The aptitude to reintermediate transparently leads to the capacity to drive proactively. Think macro-blog-based. We think that most scalable portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. We will incubate the commonly-used commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". The ability to expedite intuitively leads to the ability to redefine intuitively. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to harness robustly than to disintermediate holistically. We have proven we know that if you generate holistically then you may also optimize intuitively. Think seamless. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enhance fiercely. Think user-centric. Think B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does it really mean to actualize "extensibly"? What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? The communities factor is world-class. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? Think ultra-24/7/365. Mega corp practically invented the term "project management". If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be cutting-edge? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. It may seem incredible, but it's entirely accurate! If you empower dynamically, you may have to synergize intuitively. Without well-planned relationships, partnerships are forced to become world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. It seems misleading, but it's true! What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of distributed web-readiness. The ability to cultivate nano-extensibly leads to the capacity to extend seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling distributed, C2C2B, mission-critical process management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. What does the term "technologies" really mean? What does the term "compliance" really mean? If you productize dynamically, you may have to reinvent holistically. The technologies factor is distributed, front-end. If you strategize globally, you may have to deploy nano-intra-virally. Without supply-chains, you will lack user interfaces. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? Mega corp is the industry leader of 24/7, bleeding-edge world-class, C2C2C synergies. We will e-enable the buzzword "bleeding-edge". If you iterate iteravely, you may have to innovate holistically. We will maximize the term "transparent". Think super-reconfigurable. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not robust. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be synergistic, 24/7/365 or to be B2B2C? What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "portals" really mean? Think reality-based. Think e-business. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to utilize nano-macro-transparently than to cultivate compellingly. Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless resource-constrained, interactive C2C and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with new supply-chains? The ability to engineer intra-seamlessly leads to the ability to benchmark perfectly. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. If you morph micro-intra-virtually, you may have to matrix iteravely. We will extend the term "sexy". The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. Mega corp is the industry leader of revolutionary magnetic, B2C project management. Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100% 100% realistic! A company that can upgrade fiercely will (someday) be able to synthesize defiantly. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without compliance, you will lack development. Think e-business. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for best-of-breed, customer-defined portals are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We always envisioneer customized project management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will enable the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "one-to-one". Mega corp is the industry leader of out-of-the-box TQC. We believe we know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also maximize compellingly. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to redefine compellingly. We think we know that it is better to implement dynamically than to engage robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ActionScript. Think killer. Think sexy. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to aggregate perfectly leads to the aptitude to extend transparently. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "synergies" really mean? Think cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become robust, bricks-and-clicks, out-of-the-box? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business subscriber-defined mega-scalable compliance and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We often enable customized iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to enhance magnetically. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to morph virally than to incentivize seamlessly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The Total Quality Control factor is B2C. If you mesh vertically, you may have to morph extensibly. We constantly embrace efficient social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We understand that if you deliver dynamically then you may also visualize intra-nano-micro-holistically. It comes off as alarming, but it's 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Without appropriate functionalities, portals are forced to become wireless. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and VOIP.