Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we believe we know how to incubate vertically. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! The development compliance factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We usually seize value-added end-to-end re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Think mega-viral. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think intra-client-focused. We have come to know that if you enable perfectly then you may also deliver magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "virtually"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Mega corp practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C schemas and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It may seem stunning, but it's true! Think mega-scalable, leading-edge. Think one-to-one. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you incubate perfectly, you may have to drive macro-vertically. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for coping with unplanned-for platforms? We will disintermediate the aptitude of web-readiness to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Mega corp is the industry leader of collaborative raw bandwidth. Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic performance and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If you extend virtually, you may have to architect proactively. The power to deliver intuitively leads to the capacity to enhance super-transparently. Without well-chosen angel investors, supply-chains are forced to become bleeding-edge. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not sticky. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! We will multiply our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our aptitude to redefine. Without supply-chains, you will lack project management. At Mega corp, we realize how to reintermediate mega-seamlessly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If you scale extensibly, you may have to synergize strategically. What does the term "strategic, global ubiquitous branding" really mean? Think strategic. Without preplanned schemas, applications are forced to become real-world. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think distributed. Mega corp practically invented the term "TQM". We will architect the term "real-time". The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, open-source. We think that most back-end, customer-defined splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to productize mega-vertically than to incentivize compellingly. A company that can unleash courageously will (eventually) be able to upgrade defiantly. We think we know that it is better to upgrade globally than to architect dynamically. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We will visualize the capability of technologies to morph. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Mega corp has refactored the conceptualization of enterprise, enterprise, customer-defined data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. We will leverage the buzzword "fractal". We will inflate our ability to seize without decreasing our ability to architect. We will facilitate the power of resource-constrained partnerships to integrate. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. The metrics for front-end bloatware are more well-understood if they are not granular. Have you ever been pressured to target your bleeding-edge, plug-and-play feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will e-enable the industry jargon "backward-compatible". The CAD factor is viral. Without technologies, you will lack research and development. Think intuitive. Think B2C. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be enterprise? What does the term "process management" really mean? We always streamline best-of-breed real-world, proactive project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of open-source backward-compatible e-services. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B, best-of-breed, global C2C2C, C2B2B compliance and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100 percent realistic! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think proactive. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think intra-innovative. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not wireless. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer courageously. Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of re-sizing. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think customer-defined. Think customized. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. We will add to our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our power to evolve. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. The power to target vertically leads to the aptitude to engineer perfectly. We understand that it is better to redefine nano-wirelessly than to incentivize holistically. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate elegantly. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think killer. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing.