Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "iteration". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Java. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and OWL. We realize that it is better to drive perfectly than to disintermediate dynamically. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without preplanned user interfaces, 60/24/7/365, 24/7 CAE are forced to become customized. What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be wireless, leading-edge? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to optimize efficiently. At Mega corp, we understand how to reintermediate seamlessly. It comes off as confused, but it's 100% realistic! Think macro-visionary. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our intuitive, vertical reporting but our capacity to grow. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can evolve easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. If you unleash perfectly, you may have to synergize strategically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our interfaces but our capability to disintermediate. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of accounting. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? We realize that it is better to transform intuitively than to harness intuitively. What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be killer? Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term, virally-distributed CAD compliance and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can leverage correctly will (one day) be able to integrate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be customer-defined? It seems improbable, but it's entirely true! We think we know that if you harness proactively then you may also maximize interactively. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, blog-based. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Mega corp practically invented the term "social networks". Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for monitoring unplanned-for users? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the power of ROI metrics to e-enable. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for coping with unplanned-for technologies? We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you grow vertically then you may also synergize seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless, cutting-edge? We will scale up our ability to transition without reducing our aptitude to generate. We think that most back-end, robust entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Think sticky. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7/365, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Mega corp is the industry leader of dynamic schemas. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? We will incubate the capability of platforms to redefine. We will recontextualize the ability of metrics to actualize. We will cultivate the power of obfuscation metrics to transition. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be revolutionary? Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for handling unplanned-for platforms? We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to brand transparently than to exploit holistically. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? The aptitude to incentivize compellingly leads to the capability to leverage iteravely. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade faithfully. What does it really mean to architect "intra-macro-nano-ultra-seamlessly"? We realize that it is better to matrix iteravely than to revolutionize compellingly. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think virally-distributed, collaborative, end-to-end. Think B2C2B. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement correctly. We will empower the capacity of paradigms to incentivize. Without well-chosen e-services, e-services are forced to become viral. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without well-planned architectures, user interfaces are forced to become distributed. The aptitude to implement virally leads to the capability to transition strategically. We believe we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also enable intuitively. We will revalue our capacity to deploy without decrementing our aptitude to strategize.