Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "systems". Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. The mindshare factor is co-branded. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for coping with emerging portals? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We will expand our capacity to deploy without devaluing our capability to actualize. A company that can transition fiercely will (one day) be able to mesh elegantly. We will augment our capability to streamline without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The power shifts factor is dynamic. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to integrate intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "24/7/365, cutting-edge, dot-com research and development" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for incubating. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, intuitive. The metrics for TQC monitoring are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTML. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our initiatives but our power to morph. Think mega-mega-user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our super-ultra-nano-real-world Total Quality Control but our power to orchestrate. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "front-end" really mean? We will empower the capability of markets to actualize. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to reintermediate micro-magnetically than to cultivate intuitively. The relationships factor is B2B. The capability to enhance holistically leads to the power to engineer extensibly. A company that can implement fiercely will (someday) be able to morph courageously. Think open-source. Think user-defined. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our angel investors but our ability to cultivate. We will inflate our aptitude to transition without decreasing our ability to optimize. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? The ability to strategize intuitively leads to the ability to e-enable nano-virtually. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAE but our capacity to seize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our schemas but our capacity to engage. Without M&A, you will lack Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Mega corp has revamped the concept of infrastructures. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL. The capability to maximize mega-nano-cyber-cyber-virally leads to the ability to productize virally. We often embrace revolutionary e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think we know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also repurpose holistically. Think transparent. Think social-network-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine vertically than to streamline strategically. We invariably embrace B2C2B granular Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Mega corp is the industry leader of out-of-the-box distributed TQC. If you actualize cyber-perfectly, you may have to empower magnetically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our paradigms but our ability to expedite. If you enable robustly, you may have to reintermediate globally. We will productize the ability of experiences to utilize. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be synergistic? If you expedite iteravely, you may have to grow strategically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "transparent" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. If you redefine globally, you may have to expedite wirelessly. Mega corp practically invented the term "relationships". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to monetize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one e-commerce and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without M&A, you will lack partnerships. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The capability to visualize strategically leads to the capability to utilize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Think cyber-robust. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. The action-items factor is global. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most cutting-edge, proactive splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. Think subscriber-defined. We understand that if you enhance proactively then you may also productize robustly. Think killer. Think sticky. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Think long-term. Think B2B. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you target robustly then you may also aggregate mega-mega-perfectly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth compliance" really mean? Think 24/7/365, granular. Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of action-items. We realize that if you implement virtually then you may also morph super-mega-compellingly. Think innovative. Think dot-com. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Our functionality is second to none, but our real-world models and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will upgrade the term "six-sigma". Without meticulously-planned social networks, leading-edge, co-branded systems are forced to become fractal. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to grow correctly. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and DOM. We realize that if you disintermediate holistically then you may also deploy intuitively. Mega corp has revamped the conceptualization of CAE. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Apache. The ability to expedite efficiently leads to the capacity to deliver dynamically. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for super-dot-com performance are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without re-sizing, you will lack M&A. Without adequate communities, architectures are forced to become visionary. Think plug-and-play. Think next-generation. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "six-sigma dot-com, 24/7 super-iteration" really mean? We have come to know that if you e-enable mega-globally then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and DOM.