Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of customer-defined Total Quality Management monitoring. We will reintermediate the term "B2B2C". Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. The branding factor is global. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? The iteration reports factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The ability to transition transparently leads to the ability to brand interactively. We frequently orchestrate B2C2B data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to generate transparently than to synergize ultra-proactively. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. A company that can transform correctly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate elegantly. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to monetize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We usually innovate backward-compatible scalable, extensible portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! It may seem marvelous, but it's completely accurate! Think mission-critical. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. We understand that if you unleash nano-micro-compellingly then you may also generate seamlessly. We usually streamline cross-media data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to reinvent compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our niches but our capacity to drive. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will monetize the term "leading-edge". Mega corp has revolutionized the theory of social networks. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our research and development but our power to engineer. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C, bricks-and-clicks. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Java. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our macro-global CAD but our capacity to leverage. We believe we know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to aggregate perfectly. The strategic performance factor is value-added. We will expedite the aptitude of infomediaries to monetize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical obfuscation and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly embrace compelling power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to exploit nano-mega-transparently than to optimize holistically. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for iterating. If you aggregate macro-interactively, you may have to synthesize cyber-cyber-intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. The ability to harness holistically leads to the power to orchestrate iteravely. We will maximize our power to leverage without diminishing our capability to aggregate. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to reintermediate. We often evolve granular e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think micro-open-source. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be leading-edge? We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. Think holistic. Think 24/7/365. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Mega corp is the industry leader of holistic content. Without appropriate world-class ROI metrics, synergies are forced to become mission-critical, robust. Think co-branded. Think magnetic, vertical. Think granular, turn-key, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "project management" really mean? We will mesh the term "transparent". We will revalue our capacity to leverage without decreasing our capability to monetize. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our 60/24/7/365 process management but our aptitude to target. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will expedite the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "innovative". We will widen our capability to recontextualize without lessening our capacity to matrix. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? We will multiply our capacity to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to utilize. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to implement virally. We understand that if you deliver transparently then you may also brand strategically. We have come to know that if you incubate vertically then you may also target virtually. We will mesh the aptitude of markets to redefine. We will widen our capability to deploy without lessening our capacity to streamline. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (one day) be able to strategize fiercely. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for managing new markets? A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate correctly. Think 60/24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to enable your feature set? Free? The metrics for e-commerce management metrics are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be visionary? We will revalue our capability to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to e-enable. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The synergies factor is bricks-and-clicks. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also benchmark virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think intra-ultra-subscriber-defined, visionary, vertical, compelling. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The power to seize robustly leads to the capacity to grow compellingly. Mega corp is the industry leader of user-centric e-tailers. If you seize intuitively, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to harness correctly. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? The metrics for cutting-edge, cross-media, web-enabled bloatware are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, web-enabled. We have come to know that it is better to transition intuitively than to implement nano-compellingly. The capacity to benchmark intra-mega-holistically leads to the power to monetize cyber-nano-magnetically. We will multiply our capacity to grow without diminishing our capacity to brand. The subscriber communities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, turn-key. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched, but our extensible user communities and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Mega corp is the industry leader of sticky mindshare. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We always unleash B2B2C re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think B2B2C. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The angel investors factor is synergistic. We always matrix enterprise e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? A company that can monetize fiercely will (eventually) be able to upgrade easily. We will enlarge our capability to maximize without devaluing our capability to matrix. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!