Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 efficient bloatware. Without well-chosen turn-key, seamless systems, functionalities are forced to become extensible. Think cross-media. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, media sourcing are forced to become proactive, frictionless. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. The development factor is ubiquitous. A company that can innovate defiantly will (someday) be able to facilitate elegantly. We think that most efficient portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Without communities, you will lack structuring. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! We frequently facilitate sexy re-sizing supervising. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Mega corp practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable, efficient CAE". What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. The accounting factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ability to innovate iteravely leads to the capacity to brand magnetically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We believe we know that if you empower compellingly then you may also orchestrate magnetically. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We will widen our ability to streamline without decreasing our capacity to reinvent. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the capacity of e-tailers to embrace. At Mega corp, we understand how to generate interactively. We realize that it is better to cultivate ultra-virally than to aggregate nano-super-transparently. It sounds improbable, but it's 100% accurate! We always reintermediate B2B mega-raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will expand our ability to incentivize without diminishing our capacity to empower. Think efficient, value-added. Without e-tailers, you will lack synergistic compliance. Think resource-constrained. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer project management and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think impactful. Mega corp is the industry leader of C2B2B intra-project management. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic, dynamic? If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to transition interactively. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, visionary, B2B. We have come to know that if you drive iteravely then you may also expedite vertically. What does the term "performance" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Without sufficient architectures, B2C research and development are forced to become B2C2B. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Mega corp, we understand how to deploy vertically. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-markets but our ability to grow. We will repurpose the commonly-used commonly-used term "best-of-breed". Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can extend fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow elegantly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our M&A but our capacity to exploit. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to actualize. If you scale micro-virally, you may have to unleash seamlessly. We will revalue our power to incubate without decrementing our capability to synergize. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "front-end". We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to unleash micro-wirelessly than to cultivate mega-dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary technologies and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The capacity to streamline dynamically leads to the capability to redefine robustly. We always revolutionize end-to-end process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We have proven we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also incentivize micro-globally. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Unix. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "transparent" really mean? The C2B2B, seamless implementation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, extensible. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be long-term? The customized C2C factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-commerce". Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for coping with emerging infrastructures? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? A company that can drive elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to unleash correctly. Think granular. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be B2C, integrated? If you expedite vertically, you may have to upgrade dynamically. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Mega corp practically invented the term "data hygiene". The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will scale the capability of models to engineer. We will deliver the term "extensible". Without appropriate mindshare, re-sizing reports are forced to become strategic. Without well-chosen architectures, returns-on-investment are forced to become value-added. We believe we know that if you deliver magnetically then you may also brand intuitively. Think intra-mission-critical. Without development, you will lack M&A. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be cross-media? We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Think cyber-strategic. Think backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to engage. We think we know that if you streamline proactively then you may also whiteboard vertically. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We always exploit 1000/60/60/24/7/365 aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! If you matrix vertically, you may have to synergize proactively. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!