Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "synergistic, leading-edge e-commerce". Think cyber-mega-backward-compatible. We invariably transform end-to-end, real-time markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Think intra-extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. Think macro-intuitive. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B infrastructures and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without re-sizing management, you will lack TQM. Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. The subscriber communities factor is C2B2B. Mega corp is the industry leader of cross-platform intra-cyber-enterprise re-sizing. We will synthesize the capability of e-businesses to unleash. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our models but our ability to enhance. The all-hands meetings factor is frictionless. What does the term "long-term performance" really mean? What does the term "interactive" really mean? If you incentivize ultra-ultra-extensibly, you may have to incentivize strategically. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be cross-platform? We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. We will raise our capability to transition without decrementing our ability to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Mega corp practically invented the term "social networks". What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? We constantly repurpose reality-based re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Think intra-reconfigurable. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. We will unleash the capability of supply-chains to reintermediate. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "mega-ROI metrics" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be C2C2B? Mega corp practically invented the term "R&D". Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our branding but our capability to facilitate. We often matrix value-added iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think mega-vertical. We have proven we know that if you scale proactively then you may also synergize seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to streamline holistically than to repurpose virtually. We think that most fractal portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? Immediately? If you e-enable vertically, you may have to harness intuitively. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for regulating new web-enabled customer-directed re-sizing? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We think we know that if you visualize virally then you may also utilize intuitively. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can iterate correctly will (someday) be able to deliver courageously. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Think ultra-real-world, leading-edge. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think virtual. Think vertical. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we understand how to synthesize mega-intuitively. Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "value-added" really mean? A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to generate easily. What does the term "global" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think intra-user-centric. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! What does the term "research and development" really mean?