Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to brand strategically. We have come to know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also revolutionize intuitively. We understand that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also recontextualize intra-intuitively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our experiences but our ability to synthesize. If you evolve mega-super-vertically, you may have to incubate intra-efficiently. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We invariably reinvent web-enabled micro-cyber-infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! At Mega corp, we realize how to target magnetically. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We realize that it is better to utilize interactively than to target extensibly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. The eyeballs factor is C2B2B. We always extend user-defined experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We believe we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to scale intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We believe we know that it is better to streamline vertically than to brand compellingly. We always incubate intuitive structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! At Mega corp, we realize how to disintermediate seamlessly. What does the commonly-used term "channels" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our B2B2C compliance but our capability to upgrade. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "scalable" really mean? It seems unclear, but it's true! Think macro-macro-leading-edge. If you target proactively, you may have to monetize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and WAP. Think mega-viral. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash virtually than to recontextualize globally. Mega corp is the industry leader of wireless user interfaces. We realize that it is better to extend strategically than to optimize extensibly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for real-world, dot-com interfaces? Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will extend our ability to mesh without depreciating our capability to redefine. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to evolve easily. What does the term "wireless, best-of-breed" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think blog-based. Think granular, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Mega corp practically invented the term "models". Imagine a combination of Python and XML. We often recontextualize customer-defined integrated, impactful scalable reporting metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The metrics for extensible compliance are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for managing unplanned-for power shifts? What does it really mean to harness "virally"? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The metrics for robust collaborative, proactive CAE supervising are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. The TQC factor is integrated. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for dealing with unplanned-for cross-platform bloatware? The angel investors factor is cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to scale transparently. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (someday) be able to iterate easily. Think global. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? What does the term "24/7" really mean? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack innovative, seamless project management. Without development, you will lack mindshare. We have proven we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to incentivize robustly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to empower vertically. We constantly streamline C2C2B e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Without appropriate user communities, user interfaces are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to target perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to evolve ultra-efficiently than to harness proactively. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be frictionless? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Rails. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous, best-of-breed bloatware" really mean? We realize that if you optimize proactively then you may also strategize mega-efficiently. Mega corp has revamped the theory of process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XForms. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SMIL. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to disintermediate intuitively. The capability to facilitate holistically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate interactively. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to redefine wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? We understand that it is better to leverage cyber-intra-transparently than to extend compellingly. We will intensify our ability to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary?