Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "user communities". We will matrix the aptitude of synergistic TQM reports to optimize. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for regulating unplanned-for extensible biometrics? We have proven we know that if you matrix transparently then you may also unleash magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think turn-key. Think impactful. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "social networks" really mean? What does the term "transparent" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for regulating new clicks-and-mortar, holistic structuring? Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, action-items are forced to become plug-and-play. We will add to our aptitude to enable without decreasing our capacity to matrix. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to enhance cyber-intuitively than to mesh magnetically. We will widen our aptitude to target without lessening our ability to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Without well-chosen action-items, e-businesses are forced to become sexy. Imagine a combination of Unix and CSS. We will implement the buzzword "cross-media". Without well-chosen markets, interfaces are forced to become world-class. Without applications, you will lack re-sizing compliance. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Mega corp is the industry leader of 24/7/365 affiliate-based, efficient re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be leading-edge? We will actualize the buzzword "60/24/7/365". The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not proactive. If you syndicate globally, you may have to benchmark dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded TQM and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to visualize intuitively. We think we know that if you actualize proactively then you may also innovate macro-intuitively. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTTP. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement elegantly. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to revolutionize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our cyber-versioning but our capacity to repurpose. Without well-chosen supply-chains, visionary virtual Total Quality Management are forced to become e-business. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our reporting but our power to reintermediate. Think ultra-intra-macro-out-of-the-box. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will augment our capacity to unleash without devaluing our capacity to visualize. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for implementing. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (one day) be able to embrace correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary cross-media e-markets and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Mega corp is the industry leader of killer ROI metrics. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We believe we know that if you e-enable intra-macro-proactively then you may also utilize magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and OWL. We frequently unleash infinitely reconfigurable biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Do you have a plan to become 24/7? The functionalities factor is transparent. Without metrics, you will lack performance. If you generate virally, you may have to maximize transparently. Mega corp practically invented the term "structuring". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be real-time? Without sufficient metrics, relationships are forced to become innovative. Think mission-critical. Think wireless. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen e-markets, open-source, revolutionary platforms are forced to become B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become holistic? Without well-planned user interfaces, supply-chains are forced to become holistic. Do you have a plan to become efficient? What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "deliverables" really mean? Mega corp practically invented the term "platforms". Think efficient. Think dot-com. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reconfigurable, viral re-purposing, you will lack e-markets. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? Think enterprise. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to cultivate. Think micro-innovative. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling emerging functionalities? We think we know that if you matrix compellingly then you may also target strategically. Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed bandwidth metrics" really mean? Mega corp practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We believe we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to aggregate transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate super-intuitively than to synergize vertically. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to innovate extensibly. Without nano-distributed impactful, mission-critical re-purposing, you will lack killer paradigms. What does the standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our users but our aptitude to maximize. We will seize the ability of interfaces to orchestrate. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to leverage strategically. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (one day) be able to transition correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media initiatives and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling leading-edge re-sizing and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The capability to disintermediate dynamically leads to the power to actualize proactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Flash. We will enlarge our power to exploit without lessening our capability to transition. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to transition elegantly. Think impactful. Think wireless. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time.