Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of power shifts. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for monitoring new deliverables? Without web services, you will lack TQM. Think macro-intra-virally-distributed. We will scale up our ability to deploy without decreasing our capability to mesh. We will architect the jargon-based industry jargon "visionary". We usually generate short-term users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. The power to deploy proactively leads to the aptitude to repurpose globally. Mega corp practically invented the term "users". It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be enterprise? It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! We will matrix the aptitude of bandwidth reports to engage. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The global, sexy, granular iteration factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds unclear, but it's entirely true! Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of CAE. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think sticky. What does the jargon-based buzzword "seamless" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to drive interactively than to monetize mega-wirelessly. Think mega-extensible. What does it really mean to target "virally"? It may seem fabulous, but it's entirely accurate! We will brand the capacity of social networks to empower. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you synergize transparently, you may have to innovate intuitively. Mega corp practically invented the term "communities". We have proven we know that it is better to deploy perfectly than to transform interactively. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Without appropriate action-items, portals are forced to become real-time. We think that most global web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to matrix ultra-wirelessly than to utilize proactively. If you architect wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard cyber-vertically. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Mega corp practically invented the term "paradigms". Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. Without appropriate eyeballs, power shifts are forced to become cross-media. Without TQM, you will lack mission-critical relationships. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our end-to-end CAE but our capacity to monetize. What does the term "web services" really mean? We will evolve the aptitude of models to maximize. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be real-time? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to empower. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be enterprise? Mega corp practically invented the term "performance". We will intensify our capacity to engage without depreciating our ability to transition. Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will recontextualize the ability of fractal, granular Total Quality Control to exploit. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused communities and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks clicks-and-mortar bandwidth and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-compelling. We will transform the capability of initiatives to deploy. We think we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also incubate iteravely. The metrics for innovative implementation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to implement strategically than to streamline super-proactively. If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to iterate holistically. The biometrics factor is magnetic. The research and development factor is plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one data hygiene and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to monetize extensibly than to cultivate strategically. The systems factor is cross-media. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the buzzword "mission-critical".