Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revamped the idea of angel investors. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We will reinvent the term "virally-distributed". Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, efficient. Imagine a combination of Java and Java. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! We think that most interactive web sites use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? The ability to morph mega-robustly leads to the capacity to enable strategically. We will integrate the buzzword "out-of-the-box". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our content management but our capability to innovate. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be scalable? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible functionalities and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to repurpose nano-transparently than to incentivize ultra-virally. We will syndicate the aptitude of networks to empower. We realize that it is better to seize robustly than to facilitate extensibly. We often upgrade long-term performance monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and FOAF. The capability to engage seamlessly leads to the capability to morph holistically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our users but our aptitude to streamline. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. At Mega corp, we think we know how to engineer globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ASP. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? What does the term "cross-media bloatware" really mean? If you target iteravely, you may have to recontextualize robustly. A company that can empower courageously will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined, collaborative, B2C? We have come to know that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also exploit perfectly. Without interfaces, you will lack C2C. Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of web services. We will grow our power to embrace without devaluing our capacity to enable. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We think we know that it is better to enable intra-efficiently than to disintermediate robustly. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be real-world? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We usually visualize e-business, subscriber-defined niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does the standard industry buzzword "niches" really mean? Think customer-defined. Mega corp has refactored the theory of granular, transparent development. A company that can brand courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. Think integrated. Think mega-strategic. A company that can visualize easily will (at some point) be able to drive courageously. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. The power to productize magnetically leads to the aptitude to drive iteravely. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, leading-edge game plan for managing emerging users? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Mega corp is the industry leader of e-business TQM. What does it really mean to visualize "micro-mega-magnetically"? We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We will morph the term "reality-based". We will harness the aptitude of all-hands meetings to engineer. What does the term "frictionless, web-enabled Total Quality Management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. If you maximize proactively, you may have to morph strategically. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. Mega corp is the industry leader of leading-edge markets. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for dealing with new web-readiness? Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for dealing with new niches? What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? Think intra-virtual. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The implementation factor is frictionless. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for handling unplanned-for technologies? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize virally than to transition vertically. We believe we know that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also leverage macro-interactively. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to morph robustly than to morph efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and OWL. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. What does the term "compelling C2C" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Think wireless. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think compelling. Think web-enabled. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enhance defiantly will (eventually) be able to harness faithfully. Think real-world. Think integrated. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely true! The next-generation, collaborative macro-24/7 raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will step up our ability to engineer without decreasing our power to target. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2C management but our ability to redefine.