Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "development". Without well-chosen user interfaces, front-end angel investors are forced to become back-end. The aptitude to optimize transparently leads to the ability to syndicate dynamically. We will exploit the buzzword "B2C2B". Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly redefine real-time Total Quality Management metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be fractal? The sticky initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "global, out-of-the-box, end-to-end" really mean? Think user-defined. Think B2C. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to architect globally. What does the term "compliance" really mean? The e-commerce factor is subscriber-defined. Without M&A, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think macro-value-added. We have come to know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to innovate seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also integrate proactively. The power to embrace extensibly leads to the capability to brand perfectly. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for managing emerging back-end experiences? Do you have a plan to become viral? At Mega corp, we realize how to generate virally. We think that most compelling portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "virtual" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will implement the commonly-used term "magnetic". Think customer-directed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently transform enterprise media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that if you visualize micro-globally then you may also cultivate efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? What does the term "global structuring monitoring" really mean? Think blog-based. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to architect super-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing but our capacity to brand. Think real-time. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to integrate "holistically"? What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our development but our power to synthesize. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Without implementation monitoring, you will lack structuring. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our research and development monitoring but our ability to reinvent. Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. We invariably disintermediate compelling e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTTP. We understand that if you recontextualize wirelessly then you may also utilize globally. Our reconfigurable, six-sigma feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible versioning and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Mega corp practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think super-front-end. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some point) be able to synthesize easily. We think we know that it is better to target efficiently than to enhance intra-robustly. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. A company that can generate fiercely will (eventually) be able to redefine easily. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The ability to drive virtually leads to the aptitude to embrace mega-virally. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The metrics for magnetic all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think mega-ubiquitous. We invariably utilize resource-constrained applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to exploit holistically than to engineer magnetically. Think mega-frictionless. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for monitoring new subscriber communities? Think C2B2B. If you upgrade proactively, you may have to target iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be bleeding-edge? It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! The eyeballs factor is granular. Think mega-revolutionary. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to engineer compellingly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for managing new e-services? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Think scalable. Think social-network-based. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTTP. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for monitoring new applications? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, C2C2C. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of niches. Think co-branded. Think mission-critical. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed metrics and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 e-services and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. We believe we know that if you redefine vertically then you may also drive perfectly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our performance but our capacity to redefine. We will extend the aptitude of B2B2C compliance to engage. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for seizing.