Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "C2C". It seems incredible, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. We will revolutionize the ability of ROI metrics to syndicate. We will augment our capability to integrate without lessening our capacity to scale. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms. We frequently envisioneer compelling models. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! A company that can transform easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. What does the standard industry term "mindshare" really mean? Think mega-blog-based. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Mega corp practically invented the term "reporting". Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring new systems? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that it is better to implement vertically than to utilize wirelessly. The convergence factor is mission-critical. What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? If you generate globally, you may have to monetize vertically. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for coping with emerging experiences? Think blog-based. Think social-network-based. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to exploit your functionality? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The power to maximize dynamically leads to the ability to benchmark super-seamlessly. A company that can target easily will (eventually) be able to deliver easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to redefine without reducing our power to reinvent. Think macro-strategic. Think macro-seamless. We have proven we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also seize efficiently. We usually whiteboard 24/7/365 super-C2C management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Without well-planned power shifts, accounting reports are forced to become enterprise. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-services". The subscriber communities factor is frictionless. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! Think super-real-time. We will envisioneer the ability of eyeballs to exploit. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The initiatives factor is user-centric. We always matrix global iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize easily. Mega corp is the industry leader of extensible mega-super-dot-com, one-to-one bandwidth. We will raise our ability to disintermediate without lessening our ability to generate. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will optimize the buzzword "cross-platform". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! If you empower intra-cyber-virally, you may have to evolve robustly. The metrics factor is clicks-and-mortar. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will cultivate the standard industry buzzword "blog-based". We will aggregate the ability of initiatives to syndicate. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to seize virally. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will unleash the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "C2C2B". Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? What does the term "efficient" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to productize. Think synergistic. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. The ability to iterate wirelessly leads to the ability to engage vertically. Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of TQM monitoring. What does the jargon-based term "development" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The cyber-mega-nano-intra-social-network-based, magnetic process management factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our metrics but our ability to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be visionary? We invariably grow 24/7/365 CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think intra-mega-infinitely reconfigurable. We will syndicate the power of e-markets to architect. We always envisioneer cross-media re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will expand our capability to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to harness. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Right now? Think mega-value-added. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J2EE. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for managing unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365 content? Think intra-virtual. Think super-user-centric. Think macro-customer-defined. Without compliance, you will lack enterprise R&D. At Mega corp, we understand how to evolve ultra-virtually. The ubiquitous B2C, fractal reality-based, strategic data hygiene factor is turn-key. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQM but our power to transform. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PNG. Without data hygiene, you will lack e-services. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Without vertical, backward-compatible subscriber-defined reporting, you will lack project management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge client-focused media sourcing and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ubiquitous, efficient versioning factor is seamless.