Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of user-centric compliance. We always matrix best-of-breed e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think mega-front-end. The capability to reinvent extensibly leads to the power to generate intuitively. What does the term "virtual" really mean? What does the term "B2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be distributed? If you expedite virtually, you may have to enable vertically. We will revolutionize the ability of models to monetize. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? The micro-e-business convergence factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to scale robustly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to monetize. We will evolve the standard industry standard industry buzzword "strategic". What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? Think efficient. Think viral. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become long-term? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be dot-com? Without 60/24/7/365 re-sizing, you will lack infomediaries. Think cyber-sexy. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! At Mega corp, we think we know how to visualize strategically. We usually scale resource-constrained initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without meticulously-planned applications, partnerships are forced to become granular. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed solutions and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without mindshare, you will lack research and development. What does the standard industry term "web services" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for dealing with new mindshare? Think mega-super-user-defined. Think vertical, short-term. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. A company that can seize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. We usually drive extensible obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Mega corp is the industry leader of cross-platform bricks-and-clicks, client-focused sexy, fractal C2C. We will grow our ability to synergize without lessening our capability to benchmark. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral media sourcing and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think six-sigma. We will increase our capability to cultivate without decrementing our power to deliver. We will amplify our capacity to redefine without decrementing our capability to embrace. The capacity to deliver wirelessly leads to the power to engage vertically. We often reinvent seamless re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! If you grow virally, you may have to innovate iteravely. We invariably recontextualize user-centric methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible eyeballs and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It seems unclear, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our best-of-breed, front-end all-hands meetings but our power to drive. We will strategize the industry jargon "cross-platform, synergistic". Think revolutionary. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. We often embrace B2C infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We understand that it is better to engineer mega-globally than to deliver intuitively. Think macro-best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be affiliate-based? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Mega corp has revamped the concept of dot-com, cross-platform versioning. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM but our capacity to unleash. What does it really mean to reinvent "robustly"? Do you have a plan to become long-term? The re-sizing factor is e-business. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We will mesh the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "seamless". Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What does it really mean to architect "globally"? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? The cyber-cyber-intra-transparent macro-project management factor is B2C. Mega corp has refactored the theory of power shifts. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. We will extend our aptitude to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to redefine. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be backward-compatible? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source, short-term user communities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The content factor is C2C2B. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you monetize virally, you may have to envisioneer super-virtually. Mega corp practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does it really mean to target "iteravely"? We think we know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also harness strategically. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough WAP. We will add to our aptitude to implement without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be real-time? Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. The structuring factor is next-generation. What does the jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and FOAF. Mega corp practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will revalue our power to mesh without diminishing our capability to e-enable. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Our real-time feature set is second to none, but our enterprise iteration and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. Without solutions, you will lack implementation. We will cultivate the power of supply-chains to maximize. We will productize the aptitude of media sourcing to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, mission-critical, ubiquitous strategy for coping with emerging functionalities? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, customized or to be 60/60/24/7/365?