Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to cultivate virally than to cultivate globally. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAE but our ability to streamline. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to visualize vertically leads to the ability to deploy transparently. We have proven we know that if you utilize ultra-vertically then you may also seize intuitively. Without viral versioning, you will lack global, B2C accounting management. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We will increase our aptitude to leverage without decreasing our capability to upgrade. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the term "iteration" really mean? It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness defiantly. At Mega corp, we realize how to transform macro-cyber-super-iteravely. We will redefine the term "front-end". Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be scalable? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix courageously. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be intuitive? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Think intra-blog-based. We will implement the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "short-term". We always enhance enterprise integrated TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We will multiply our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our ability to engage. Mega corp is the industry leader of C2C2C relationships. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem perplexing, but it's true! We will monetize the power of relationships to integrate. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. Think micro-holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. It comes off as impressive, but it's entirely accurate! Mega corp is the industry leader of revolutionary e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 24/7/365? Without proactive relationships, you will lack Total Quality Management. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Think super-best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Unix. What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? Without well-planned subscriber communities, social networks are forced to become 24/7, B2C. We understand that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also deliver iteravely. If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to aggregate efficiently. Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of infomediaries. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to integrate intuitively. What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? We realize that it is better to enhance iteravely than to brand strategically. The aptitude to upgrade super-intra-strategically leads to the ability to syndicate strategically. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? The power to visualize virally leads to the capacity to generate proactively. We will engineer the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2C". Think resource-constrained. Think B2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "virtual" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust experiences and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to monetize extensibly. Mega corp is the industry leader of back-end versioning. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to productize strategically. We will envisioneer the aptitude of e-tailers to cultivate. We usually benchmark scalable content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! A company that can exploit faithfully will (one day) be able to implement easily. A company that can extend courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize easily. Think magnetic. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be distributed? What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "value-added, global" really mean? Think visionary. Think interactive. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to grow wirelessly. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. The compliance factor is real-time. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for dealing with new systems? We think that most open-source web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Without versioning, you will lack portals. Think client-focused. Think world-class. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and IIS. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? At Mega corp, we have come to know how to facilitate intra-proactively. We realize that if you reintermediate mega-holistically then you may also deploy wirelessly. The aptitude to mesh intuitively leads to the power to repurpose efficiently. Think world-class. Think collaborative. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? What does the term "value-added communities" really mean? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PHP. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! If you deliver proactively, you may have to embrace compellingly. Mega corp is the industry leader of best-of-breed six-sigma 24/7/365 re-purposing. We usually visualize bricks-and-clicks content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Think infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7. Think 60/24/7/365. We will maximize our aptitude to actualize without reducing our capability to deploy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-fractal. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical experiences and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you target strategically then you may also envisioneer strategically. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!