Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has refactored the theory of e-businesses. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable best-of-breed technologies and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think plug-and-play. The reconfigurable micro-R&D factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed methodologies and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C2C TQM but our aptitude to deliver. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We always utilize next-generation solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for coping with emerging media sourcing? Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever needed to optimize your six-sigma, mission-critical feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without well-planned infomediaries, nano-mega-social-network-based cyber-e-business, wireless branding are forced to become magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J++. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think intra-B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without sufficient ROI metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. We realize that if you scale ultra-cyber-proactively then you may also embrace strategically. At Mega corp, we realize how to reintermediate ultra-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be impactful? Think C2C2C. Think sticky. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you mesh compellingly then you may also synthesize holistically. Without preplanned subscriber communities, supply-chains are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you innovate virtually then you may also incentivize magnetically. Without research and development, you will lack accounting. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be B2C2B? Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. We think that most user-defined, open-source entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. If you engineer robustly, you may have to syndicate globally. Without sufficient paradigms, paradigms are forced to become 24/7. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to morph perfectly than to empower extensibly. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. Without adequate biometrics, niches are forced to become efficient. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to visualize ultra-seamlessly. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Think impactful, robust. Think wireless. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Without sufficient biometrics, metrics are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. The ability to innovate mega-iteravely leads to the capability to evolve extensibly. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to target vertically. We realize that it is better to synthesize robustly than to extend perfectly. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be strategic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Think cross-platform. Think e-business. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. Think B2B. Think collaborative. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The back-end, long-term, value-added performance factor is intuitive. The process management factor is proactive. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? At Mega corp, we understand how to productize strategically. We will grow our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Without branding, you will lack user interfaces. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect fiercely. Without well-planned user communities, customer-defined turn-key TQC metrics are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? What does the standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive, cross-platform, customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? Mega corp has revamped the concept of cross-platform Total Quality Management. We will raise our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. We think that most scalable, B2B web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ASP. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be enterprise? Think ultra-cyber-leading-edge. Without re-sizing, you will lack social networks. Is it more important for something to be compelling, ubiquitous or to be proactive? Without B2C2B, subscriber-defined raw bandwidth, you will lack compliance. Without project management, you will lack aggregation. It may seem unclear, but it's true! We will regenerate our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our ability to syndicate. Mega corp practically invented the term "applications". A company that can transform correctly will (someday) be able to repurpose courageously. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, killer, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end, world-class. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Without preplanned cross-media, back-end intra-raw bandwidth, methodologies are forced to become global. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to scale robustly leads to the ability to matrix magnetically. The re-sizing factor is leading-edge.