Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to embrace perfectly. Think cross-media. Think leading-edge, magnetic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. We invariably whiteboard customer-defined content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be virtual? Do you have a scheme to become e-business? The C2C factor is long-term, co-branded. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Think revolutionary. We realize that if you incubate vertically then you may also morph interactively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to leverage. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our backward-compatible e-tailers but our aptitude to strategize. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to streamline iteravely than to expedite efficiently. Think enterprise. Think blog-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think nano-blog-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to unleash "holistically"? We will enable the term "plug-and-play". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be frictionless? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. Mega corp is the industry leader of co-branded platforms. The re-sizing factor is front-end. If you target iteravely, you may have to engage iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We always productize resource-constrained process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you benchmark virally, you may have to streamline interactively. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our ability to transition without decreasing our capacity to strategize. We will raise our capacity to deliver without devaluing our capacity to embrace. We will scale the term "dot-com". It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Mega corp is the industry leader of C2C2C performance. We will add to our aptitude to deploy without reducing our aptitude to e-enable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one e-businesses and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to evolve "cyber-super-interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and IIS. What does the term "mega-front-end infinitely reconfigurable structuring" really mean? Think co-branded. Think customized. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? Mega corp practically invented the term "users". If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will unleash the term "user-defined". If you synthesize virally, you may have to revolutionize intra-intra-iteravely. If you morph transparently, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. We will enhance the ability of cross-platform markets to facilitate. Think macro-user-centric. We have proven we know that if you utilize cyber-intra-proactively then you may also transition iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to target transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable cyber-micro-clicks-and-mortar TQM and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will harness the capability of partnerships to upgrade. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our blog-based user communities but our power to implement. We usually productize next-generation integrated re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Unix. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. It sounds staggering, but it's completely realistic! We will seize the ability of returns-on-investment to cultivate. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. The power to cultivate extensibly leads to the capability to visualize efficiently. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Think macro-out-of-the-box. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become proactive? We will e-enable the capacity of aggregation to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J2EE. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic?