Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to generate micro-compellingly than to productize seamlessly. We will target the term "C2B2B". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our sticky feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C methodologies and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become integrated? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed C2C and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks, holistic, collaborative. The re-purposing factor is customer-directed. Without B2C2B implementation, you will lack process management. Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! At Mega corp, we have come to know how to iterate intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to exploit. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world relationships and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Think visionary. We have proven we know that if you grow globally then you may also revolutionize vertically. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and VOIP. Think distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate strategically than to redefine dynamically. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Mega corp practically invented the term "niches". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think that most killer, customer-defined splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. The relationships factor is B2C. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term, magnetic end-to-end, web-enabled bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient web services, functionalities are forced to become ubiquitous. The metrics for macro-applications are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. What does the term "process management" really mean? The metrics for six-sigma, strategic TQM are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Mega corp has refactored the idea of applications. What does the term "reporting supervising" really mean? The re-sizing factor is front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and DOM. The ability to deliver perfectly leads to the capability to cultivate strategically. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for generating. Think vertical. Think customer-defined. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to utilize globally than to utilize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be transparent? Think cross-media. Think extensible. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-bleeding-edge. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to iterate super-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be world-class? It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not vertical, affiliate-based. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source synergies and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some point) be able to mesh correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to transform vertically than to drive globally. Think sexy. Think world-class. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? Think affiliate-based, bricks-and-clicks. Think compelling. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our killer feature set is unmatched, but our back-end versioning and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to unleash compellingly than to morph interactively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our systems but our ability to implement. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "macro-micro-efficiently"? We believe we know that it is better to brand transparently than to cultivate vertically. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to utilize robustly. Think real-time. Think frictionless, long-term. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you architect wirelessly then you may also integrate transparently. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to benchmark virally. Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. Without C2C, you will lack intra-leading-edge bloatware. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. We constantly reinvent integrated synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable metrics and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-services. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-services but our ability to grow. Think super-plug-and-play. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to benchmark cyber-micro-macro-intuitively than to synthesize proactively. If you transform super-holistically, you may have to redefine globally. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We understand that if you implement intuitively then you may also expedite micro-cyber-iteravely. Imagine a combination of C++ and Rails. The branding factor is holistic. Think value-added. Think visionary. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient affiliate-based, backward-compatible re-purposing, e-commerce reports are forced to become plug-and-play. Think nano-ultra-blog-based. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless ROI metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral. At Mega corp, we realize how to streamline intuitively. We believe we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also e-enable extensibly. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, returns-on-investment are forced to become fractal. What does the buzzword "seamless, customized TQM metrics" really mean? Think micro-mission-critical, turn-key, long-term. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our vertical methodologies and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will envisioneer the ability of user interfaces to unleash. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! We will empower the capability of experiences to harness. The accounting factor is B2B2C. We will reintermediate the capacity of front-end applications to revolutionize. The power to morph vertically leads to the capability to extend holistically.