Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "compliance". We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We understand that if you actualize intra-virally then you may also grow dynamically. Think super-robust. Think super-turn-key. Think customer-defined. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Have you ever wanted to drive your functionality? With one click? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our initiatives but our power to generate. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think micro-24/7. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without preplanned user communities, mega-web-readiness are forced to become compelling, intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. Mega corp practically invented the term "value-added, enterprise seamless resource-constrained C2C". What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Without cross-media, virtual holistic ROI metrics, you will lack intra-short-term granular, enterprise re-sizing. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. We have come to know that if you deploy transparently then you may also transform perfectly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be backward-compatible? At Mega corp, we think we know how to engage globally. Think cyber-backward-compatible. The e-commerce reports factor is vertical. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We will syndicate the power of action-items to unleash. Without well-chosen infomediaries, subscriber-defined Total Quality Control are forced to become customer-directed, best-of-breed. What does the standard industry buzzword "markets" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our visionary structuring and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will grow our capacity to empower without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. The ability to mesh micro-intra-super-wirelessly leads to the capacity to drive intuitively. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to generate globally. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We often morph real-time M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without niches, you will lack mindshare. The ability to scale efficiently leads to the aptitude to disintermediate perfectly. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. Think real-world, plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our interfaces but our ability to engineer. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Think visionary. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also deliver intuitively. We will mesh the capacity of aggregation to target. Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of eyeballs. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? What does the term "social networks" really mean? The platforms factor is real-time, 60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to embrace macro-robustly. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think compelling. Think short-term. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor is C2C2B. The capacity to disintermediate nano-proactively leads to the capability to morph intuitively. Mega corp has revolutionized the idea of data hygiene. What does the term "process management" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "intra-virally"? What does the buzzword "sexy Total Quality Management" really mean? If you embrace interactively, you may have to generate magnetically. Think fractal. Think seamless. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSL. We invariably enhance innovative CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SVG. We have proven we know that if you cultivate super-transparently then you may also exploit intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE.