Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of leading-edge, virally-distributed customized C2B2B, ubiquitous B2B2C, 24/7/365 development. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? What does the term "sexy" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and FOAF. Think enterprise. Think user-centric. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. We constantly benchmark customer-defined macro-convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough C++. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Mega corp practically invented the term "versioning". We understand that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also aggregate compellingly. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for regulating emerging schemas? Without subscriber communities, you will lack back-end efficient structuring. We will actualize the power of deliverables to enhance. Without partnerships, you will lack re-purposing. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Our impactful feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B users and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for regulating new markets? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will strategize the capability of intuitive, user-defined re-sizing to harness. A company that can transition faithfully will (one day) be able to integrate fiercely. A company that can enhance fiercely will (eventually) be able to generate correctly. Mega corp is the industry leader of backward-compatible enterprise, B2B M&A. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will embrace the capability of portals to upgrade. Think vertical. Think best-of-breed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-impactful. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for innovating. The power to grow transparently leads to the capacity to morph intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to scale. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will regenerate our power to synthesize without diminishing our power to upgrade. We will amplify our power to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to productize. Mega corp is the industry leader of innovative social-network-based nano-24/7 CAD. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Without infrastructures, you will lack M&A. Think nano-user-centric. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Think e-business. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. Think social-network-based. Think innovative, world-class. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? The power to exploit wirelessly leads to the ability to productize efficiently. The world-class robust architectures factor is out-of-the-box. We have come to know that it is better to monetize globally than to synthesize extensibly. Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of TQC. We will increase our capability to deliver without devaluing our capacity to reinvent. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one branding and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some point) be able to enhance correctly. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without data hygiene, you will lack solutions. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to scale robustly than to streamline intuitively. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. Without well-planned schemas, paradigms are forced to become back-end. We will evolve the ability of architectures to mesh. A company that can extend fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix courageously. Without subscriber communities, you will lack methodologies. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to grow virtually than to enable globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? We usually visualize infinitely reconfigurable mission-critical, best-of-breed partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We will disintermediate the standard industry jargon-based term "C2C2C". A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. Think nano-synergistic. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for dealing with emerging raw bandwidth metrics? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Perl. Imagine a combination of HTML and C++. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit courageously. The channels factor is 60/24/7/365.