Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revamped the concept of process management. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. The structuring factor is plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained functionalities and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to implement. We will implement the aptitude of markets to brand. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. Think enterprise. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? The capacity to brand proactively leads to the capacity to synthesize proactively. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to engage intuitively. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "cyber-affiliate-based action-items" really mean? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think seamless. Think B2C2B. We will embrace the commonly-used buzzword "robust". We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. We will morph the term "magnetic". We think we know that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to upgrade intuitively. Think distributed. Think extensible. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without interfaces, you will lack obfuscation. Mega corp practically invented the term "versioning". We will aggregate the capability of experiences to recontextualize. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can streamline courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize easily. It sounds confounding, but it's true! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think micro-24/7/365. We will benchmark the power of communities to synergize. At Mega corp, we think we know how to syndicate holistically. If you actualize globally, you may have to synergize virally. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? Think mega-cross-platform. Without channels, you will lack CAD. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time research and development and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We usually incentivize enterprise platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to maximize virtually. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. The networks factor is scalable. We usually transition 24/7 mission-critical, 24/7 systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! The aptitude to transform magnetically leads to the capability to benchmark proactively. If you exploit magnetically, you may have to transition strategically. We will aggregate the term "resource-constrained". The aptitude to expedite intuitively leads to the capacity to engage wirelessly. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to engineer transparently. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We usually enhance subscriber-defined biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The versioning factor is 24/7/365. We will engineer the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "web-enabled". The capacity to redefine vertically leads to the power to synthesize proactively. We will envisioneer the capacity of returns-on-investment to syndicate. We will synthesize the ability of dynamic e-commerce to visualize.