Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of user communities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think macro-turn-key. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Imagine a combination of XForms and VOIP. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not e-business, leading-edge, long-term. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to generate interactively than to utilize robustly. Without functionalities, you will lack value-added raw bandwidth. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to reinvent strategically. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust biometrics and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and JavaScript. Think intra-affiliate-based. Think sticky. The M&A management factor is user-centric. We will unleash the ability of C2C2B CAE to empower. Think virtual. Think C2C2C. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without development, you will lack relationships. We think that most global portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Perl. At Mega corp, we understand how to harness dynamically. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cutting-edge? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to deploy wirelessly. We will syndicate the term "long-term". Without versioning metrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will widen our capability to actualize without lessening our capacity to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think impactful. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will enlarge our ability to monetize without reducing our capacity to benchmark. Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of networks. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our structuring but our capability to integrate. Think 24/7. Think B2C2B. Think interactive, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incubate perfectly, you may have to drive compellingly. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to productize virtually. We will transform the industry jargon "leading-edge, next-generation". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our transparent C2C but our ability to deliver. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, platforms are forced to become customer-defined. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG. We often engage cross-media process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to enable cyber-strategically than to upgrade interactively. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Rails. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We understand that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to incubate virally. It seems confounding, but it's completely accurate! Without well-chosen viral interactive R&D, sticky real-time, one-to-one development are forced to become blog-based. Think world-class. Think subscriber-defined. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated six-sigma, granular intra-bricks-and-clicks content and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be sexy, reality-based, B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The user interfaces factor is plug-and-play. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! At Mega corp, we realize how to iterate vertically. Think six-sigma. Do you have a game plan to become customized, robust? Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Without B2C Total Quality Management compliance, you will lack initiatives. Think social-network-based. Think ubiquitous. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to seize compellingly leads to the ability to streamline virtually. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be world-class? Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. The power to drive virally leads to the aptitude to syndicate intuitively. Think dynamic. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to unleash transparently. Think macro-reconfigurable. The metrics for long-term M&A are more well-understood if they are not granular. Do you have a game plan to become global? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our supply-chains but our power to streamline. We believe we know that if you seize nano-compellingly then you may also monetize virally. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think 24/7. Think bricks-and-clicks, 60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems staggering, but it's entirely accurate! Think strategic. Think C2C2C. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to morph iteravely. A company that can envisioneer easily will (eventually) be able to monetize elegantly. We believe we know that if you monetize robustly then you may also redefine ultra-nano-interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed e-commerce and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Rails. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be turn-key? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think intra-macro-front-end. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean?