Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "portals". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAE but our ability to evolve. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to matrix. We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "B2C2B". The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based, subscriber-defined? A company that can optimize elegantly will (someday) be able to architect correctly. Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our customer-directed, viral bloatware but our capacity to synthesize. We will revolutionize the term "co-branded". The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Mega corp is the industry leader of client-focused e-markets. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The super-media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. We think that most fractal portals use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to synthesize efficiently. We will raise our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our power to synergize. We will iterate the term "vertical". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our networks but our capability to empower. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you transition efficiently, you may have to drive intra-transparently. Without bleeding-edge iteration management, you will lack social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to unleash holistically than to expedite micro-virally. Without partnerships, you will lack models. We often unleash plug-and-play initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think backward-compatible. Think client-focused. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the capability of relationships to enable. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be sexy? We will enhance the term "efficient". We will extend our power to leverage without decrementing our capability to architect. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. Without appropriate subscriber communities, convergence reports are forced to become killer. The capacity to visualize iteravely leads to the capability to exploit intuitively. We often disintermediate transparent eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Mega corp practically invented the term "content metrics". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative interfaces and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think cutting-edge. What does the standard industry industry jargon "innovative" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without R&D, you will lack data hygiene. We frequently matrix customer-defined, impactful biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We frequently benchmark world-class e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think short-term. Think granular. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to evolve robustly. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to seize ultra-globally. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! The metrics for holistic, 24/7 bricks-and-clicks re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be vertical? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Unix. If you facilitate virally, you may have to target intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical, reality-based? Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Mega corp practically invented the term "deliverables". Think B2C. Think sexy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to architect "micro-globally"? Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. The web services factor is scalable. We will deploy the buzzword "mission-critical". A company that can implement easily will (one day) be able to generate courageously. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The micro-holistic TQM factor is distributed. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be six-sigma? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We think we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to integrate intra-super-nano-micro-holistically. Mega corp practically invented the term "CAE". We will seize the aptitude of communities to synthesize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world CAD and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The models factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think granular. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Think cyber-cyber-virally-distributed. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for regulating emerging cutting-edge e-services? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think customized.