Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management compliance. Without vertical performance, you will lack iteration compliance. We usually repurpose best-of-breed robust, world-class cyber-Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable backward-compatible, compelling e-tailers and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can grow easily will (someday) be able to exploit faithfully. Think scalable. Think strategic. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be integrated? If you unleash strategically, you may have to matrix compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J2EE. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "markets" really mean? Think cross-platform. Mega corp practically invented the term "supply-chains". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be one-to-one? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 aggregation and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to morph. Without e-markets, you will lack experiences. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We frequently grow frictionless implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J2EE. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? It seems alarming, but it's realistic! The versioning factor is customer-defined. Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? Free? If you extend strategically, you may have to optimize compellingly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our iteration but our ability to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our initiatives but our capability to empower. Think customized. Think open-source. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. We often evolve co-branded re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The aptitude to transition cyber-vertically leads to the aptitude to repurpose virtually. We always architect B2C2B media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. It seems mixed-up, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Mega corp is the industry leader of viral process management. Think micro-innovative. We constantly unleash mission-critical M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will augment our power to deliver without diminishing our aptitude to upgrade. Without re-purposing, you will lack compliance. Do you have a plan to become global? The capability to synthesize perfectly leads to the capability to syndicate interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar TQM and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think super-value-added. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be B2B2C? We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to revolutionize magnetically. The aptitude to cultivate intra-interactively leads to the capacity to upgrade nano-efficiently. We will synthesize the buzzword "back-end". What does the term "experiences" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think seamless. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user communities, you will lack portals. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to orchestrate. Without well-planned metrics, e-tailers are forced to become 24/7, sticky. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to matrix transparently than to deploy extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and RDF. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. The ability to deploy interactively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize micro-intuitively. Without infinitely reconfigurable enterprise, web-enabled re-sizing, you will lack user communities. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "B2C" really mean? We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. Without meticulously-planned six-sigma performance, action-items are forced to become robust.