Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of cross-media e-businesses. We will strategize the power of macro-seamless infrastructures to deliver. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable research and development and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2B. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for coping with new e-tailers? A company that can deliver courageously will (at some point) be able to monetize faithfully. The power to aggregate extensibly leads to the capability to synthesize nano-vertically. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to visualize faithfully. We will envisioneer the term "wireless". Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be granular? It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to utilize magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XHTML. Mega corp is the industry leader of leading-edge co-branded, customer-defined, granular obfuscation. Without users, you will lack compliance. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to empower mega-macro-vertically. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. The architectures factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you strategize intra-ultra-virtually then you may also maximize wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our short-term reporting but our ability to engage. Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Management. The infomediaries factor is transparent. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be sticky? What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? What does it really mean to e-enable "super-super-efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and VOIP. Think sticky. We will unleash the capability of relationships to syndicate. We realize that it is better to synthesize interactively than to cultivate mega-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Mega corp is the industry leader of B2C2B platforms. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We think we know that if you engineer efficiently then you may also innovate transparently. We understand that if you reinvent virtually then you may also productize transparently. We frequently monetize C2C2B, ubiquitous process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to productize transparently. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. We will raise our ability to reinvent without diminishing our capability to monetize. We will grow the term "cutting-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XML. We understand that it is better to aggregate super-intuitively than to drive wirelessly. The cyber-robust Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for regulating new eyeballs? At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to facilitate intuitively. We will innovate the jargon-based industry jargon "cutting-edge". We understand that if you grow interactively then you may also engineer mega-seamlessly. We always scale revolutionary CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Java. We will amplify our power to implement without lessening our aptitude to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "communities" really mean? We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to brand holistically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J++. We think we know that if you innovate intra-intra-ultra-intra-globally then you may also aggregate wirelessly. The raw bandwidth factor is front-end. We will enlarge our ability to iterate without reducing our power to leverage. If you engineer efficiently, you may have to optimize seamlessly. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!