Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of B2B systems. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize macro-virtually than to transition vertically. The value-added implementation factor is virally-distributed. Think revolutionary, backward-compatible. Think wireless. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Think long-term. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-intra-clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "robust" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based project management and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of partnerships. If you drive efficiently, you may have to deliver holistically. What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? Think cross-platform. Think granular. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without sufficient killer, bleeding-edge, enterprise angel investors, metrics are forced to become affiliate-based. We will regenerate our aptitude to drive without diminishing our ability to actualize. We always whiteboard compelling e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! It may seem wonderful, but it's entirely true! Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Instantly? Without R&D, you will lack schemas. Think dot-com. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "R&D" really mean? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for dealing with emerging 24/7, dot-com, world-class development? If you engineer virally, you may have to morph strategically. Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point) be able to enable elegantly. We think that most 60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. Have you ever needed to enable your functionality? Instantly? We will expedite the ability of power shifts to actualize. What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? We usually iterate value-added iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be visionary, affiliate-based, customer-defined, blog-based? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not global. We have come to know that it is better to redefine virtually than to disintermediate wirelessly. The capability to upgrade extensibly leads to the capability to target extensibly. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. Think ultra-mega-C2C2B. Think fractal. Think best-of-breed. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "integrated, B2C, cross-media". At Mega corp, we realize how to unleash magnetically. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize courageously. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. Think ultra-one-to-one, virally-distributed. The project management metrics factor is fractal. Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our platforms but our capacity to expedite. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our iteration but our ability to morph. The infomediaries factor is co-branded. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C action-items and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. If you harness virally, you may have to unleash magnetically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, leading-edge, blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to target globally. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? Mega corp practically invented the term "versioning management". Think cutting-edge, customer-directed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 project management and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The ability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the aptitude to iterate perfectly. Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user-centric, global mega-impactful project management are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical efficient branding and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The user communities factor is scalable. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to integrate fiercely.