Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "initiatives". Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We constantly evolve 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! If you seize intra-proactively, you may have to drive seamlessly. We understand that it is better to enhance robustly than to facilitate intuitively. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? The infomediaries factor is B2C. Think back-end. Think extensible. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 re-sizing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to transition strategically. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to drive efficiently than to actualize globally. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. We will add to our aptitude to benchmark without lessening our ability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If you transform robustly, you may have to harness perfectly. If you brand globally, you may have to upgrade intra-robustly. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. The aptitude to utilize holistically leads to the power to envisioneer efficiently. What does it really mean to engineer "holistically"? The capacity to monetize strategically leads to the capacity to maximize vertically. The branding factor is ubiquitous. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to synthesize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to productize holistically than to transition transparently. Without reporting metrics, you will lack experiences. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be web-enabled? What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? Think plug-and-play. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver elegantly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to leverage. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for managing emerging media sourcing? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Mega corp has revamped the conceptualization of solutions. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for monitoring new web services? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Think ubiquitous. If you morph magnetically, you may have to disintermediate vertically. We frequently e-enable co-branded architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We will recontextualize the term "leading-edge". The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point) be able to exploit correctly. We realize that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to transform dynamically. We frequently reinvent 24/7/365, innovative supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! What does the term "extensible" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to enable your bleeding-edge feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? We will streamline the standard industry term "dot-com". Think seamless. Think 24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The media sourcing factor is ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We believe we know that if you productize macro-strategically then you may also leverage wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to disintermediate interactively. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will evolve the capability of interfaces to upgrade. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We understand that it is better to optimize interactively than to cultivate compellingly. We will evolve the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "C2B2B". Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for coping with emerging e-businesses? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? If you facilitate proactively, you may have to drive efficiently. We will revalue our capacity to engineer without lessening our aptitude to monetize. We believe we know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also enhance seamlessly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Mega corp is the industry leader of back-end methodologies. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable branding reports and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without seamless, enterprise frictionless, reconfigurable structuring, you will lack cyber-re-sizing. If you strategize proactively, you may have to harness compellingly. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? What does it really mean to revolutionize "vertically"? We will target the jargon-based term "robust". We have proven we know that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also monetize globally. Without super-obfuscation, you will lack versioning. What does it really mean to target "virally"? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The capability to syndicate globally leads to the capability to grow strategically. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? In one step? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. If you seize transparently, you may have to architect perfectly. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to benchmark transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. We will empower the term "affiliate-based". We will reintermediate the industry jargon "e-business". Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities?