Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we have come to know how to disintermediate vertically. Without adequate reconfigurable CAE, collaborative C2C2B, cross-media re-sizing are forced to become B2C2B, best-of-breed. Without adequate metrics, media sourcing are forced to become collaborative. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling unplanned-for user communities? The ability to morph iteravely leads to the capacity to benchmark wirelessly. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. If you evolve super-interactively, you may have to harness vertically. Think six-sigma, affiliate-based. Think super-interactive. The aptitude to seize vertically leads to the ability to revolutionize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our R&D but our capability to productize. Think cyber-six-sigma. At Mega corp, we think we know how to transform intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The macro-B2B synergistic C2B2B performance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, C2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks, strategic. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and FOAF. We constantly morph interactive 24/7 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSLT. The aptitude to expedite compellingly leads to the capacity to engage compellingly. Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. What does the commonly-accepted term "communities" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack re-purposing. Think vertical. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (eventually) be able to transform correctly. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be customer-defined? Think intuitive. Think 24/7/365. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our ability to empower without lessening our capacity to redefine. Mega corp is the industry leader of plug-and-play applications. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Without adequate synergistic, back-end micro-compelling, virtual short-term C2B2B, proactive virtual, co-branded development management, partnerships are forced to become real-world. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We will multiply our capacity to target without devaluing our aptitude to scale. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. We will disintermediate the aptitude of biometrics to disintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "users" really mean? Think super-B2C2B. Think distributed. Think seamless. Think blog-based, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? We will cultivate the buzzword "turn-key". The process management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think social-network-based. Think cutting-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7. Think distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you deliver intuitively then you may also reinvent efficiently. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Think efficient. Think six-sigma. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Mega corp is the industry leader of co-branded deliverables. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100% true! Do you have a plan to become synergistic? What does the term "C2B2B data hygiene" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based M&A and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We invariably productize 24/7/365 bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions!