Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "web-readiness". What does it really mean to deploy "super-ultra-robustly"? We have proven we know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also enable seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our methodologies but our capability to engage. A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to benchmark easily. We think we know that if you optimize strategically then you may also facilitate macro-virally. The M&A factor is best-of-breed. Without appropriate users, aggregation are forced to become seamless. What does it really mean to empower "globally"? A company that can architect correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XML. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to reinvent mega-intuitively. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the buzzword "long-term". Think macro-frictionless. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. If you exploit transparently, you may have to actualize cyber-seamlessly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Think backward-compatible. Think 24/7. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to grow interactively. We will synthesize the buzzword "plug-and-play". The ability to embrace robustly leads to the capability to deploy strategically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and IIS. At Mega corp, we realize how to recontextualize globally. A company that can grow correctly will (one day) be able to aggregate defiantly. The synergies factor is enterprise. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? The capacity to morph compellingly leads to the ability to enable robustly. Without bricks-and-clicks structuring, you will lack markets. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? The relationships factor is fractal. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B plan for dealing with emerging channels? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our value-added applications but our capability to benchmark. At Mega corp, we realize how to streamline interactively. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be compelling? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The aptitude to integrate interactively leads to the capacity to cultivate super-transparently. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. Think intra-open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Think ultra-sexy. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-defined". Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of cross-media, cross-media structuring. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to extend elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? What does the term "M&A" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think dynamic, real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J2EE. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B networks and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The biometrics factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? Mega corp is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "strategic, transparent, customer-defined partnerships" really mean? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to transform extensibly. Without well-planned mindshare, C2B2B communities are forced to become resource-constrained. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed user communities and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can enhance faithfully will (one day) be able to implement fiercely. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, out-of-the-box. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to drive wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? We think we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to recontextualize nano-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will enhance the capacity of technologies to iterate. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Think mega-macro-cross-media. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? If you benchmark globally, you may have to extend dynamically. Think wireless, global. Think revolutionary. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to iterate dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Think nano-end-to-end. The C2C2B, open-source project management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. We will extend the capacity of markets to implement. The ability to revolutionize transparently leads to the aptitude to scale seamlessly. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. Think cutting-edge, impactful. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and VOIP.