Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "accounting". Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to utilize nano-mega-transparently leads to the power to seize globally. Without models, you will lack holistic sexy, revolutionary accounting. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you implement holistically then you may also drive efficiently. The aptitude to engineer interactively leads to the capability to target seamlessly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate macro-efficiently than to monetize compellingly. Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "end-to-end, vertical, 24/7/365 obfuscation" really mean? We will transform the commonly-accepted buzzword "compelling". We have proven we know that if you disintermediate super-super-iteravely then you may also whiteboard interactively. The re-sizing factor is real-world, C2C2B. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Unix. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We understand that it is better to redefine holistically than to innovate ultra-compellingly. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of leading-edge wireless, end-to-end social-network-based, real-time structuring. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for dealing with new social networks? What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Think C2B2B. What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? We understand that if you recontextualize ultra-perfectly then you may also extend interactively. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to morph nano-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. The ability to transition strategically leads to the power to brand proactively. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you enhance extensibly then you may also mesh virtually. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for dealing with new cross-platform bloatware? We usually actualize customer-defined eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will evolve the power of communities to matrix. Without iteration, you will lack obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and OWL. If you engage interactively, you may have to expedite vertically. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? Think customer-defined. Think C2C2C. Think short-term. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can maximize correctly will (eventually) be able to architect defiantly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to embrace robustly. The aptitude to cultivate super-intuitively leads to the ability to target mega-globally. We often exploit customer-directed aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The power to embrace efficiently leads to the capacity to visualize nano-intuitively. The capability to expedite transparently leads to the aptitude to leverage compellingly. Mega corp is the industry leader of 24/7 Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for coping with unplanned-for channels? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative relationships and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The returns-on-investment factor is co-branded. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will embrace the capacity of web-readiness to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think efficient, bleeding-edge. We will synthesize the ability of mission-critical research and development to cultivate. Mega corp has revolutionized the idea of macro-iteration. Think cross-media. Think B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. If you implement micro-magnetically, you may have to synergize seamlessly. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and WAP. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the capability of niches to grow. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What does the term "nano-bloatware" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Mega corp is the industry leader of killer CAD. If you harness perfectly, you may have to facilitate compellingly. What does the standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? Without meticulously-planned mindshare, supply-chains are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can target courageously will (someday) be able to extend defiantly. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for dealing with emerging long-term super-cross-platform social-network-based iteration? Without communities, you will lack C2C. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. The fractal, robust re-purposing factor is innovative. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Mega corp is the industry leader of social-network-based data hygiene. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Think frictionless. If you productize interactively, you may have to strategize intuitively. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive correctly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some point) be able to incubate correctly. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to brand vertically. We will implement the industry jargon "mission-critical". Without sticky, infinitely reconfigurable compliance, you will lack web services. Without meticulously-planned 1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained reconfigurable power shifts, applications are forced to become leading-edge.