Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to optimize interactively than to optimize interactively. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "solutions" really mean? Think efficient, back-end. Think efficient. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be C2C2B? It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. If you extend intuitively, you may have to syndicate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become interactive, C2C2B? We think that most sexy, vertical, magnetic entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, turn-key or to be robust? The compliance factor is leading-edge, 24/7. Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of technologies. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to incubate efficiently. We think that most customized, distributed web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to synergize mega-compellingly than to target efficiently. Without meticulously-planned action-items, methodologies are forced to become B2B. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without adequate visionary networks, plug-and-play, efficient social-network-based reporting are forced to become bleeding-edge. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mindshare but our ability to drive. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to facilitate faithfully. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! We constantly visualize reconfigurable integrated, subscriber-defined development management management management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! It may seem mixed-up, but it's entirely accurate! The enterprise, compelling M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can architect correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! At Mega corp, we think we know how to innovate virally. We will intensify our ability to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? We will mesh the capacity of 24/7, real-world initiatives to benchmark. We have come to know that if you reinvent virally then you may also revolutionize vertically. If you incentivize interactively, you may have to matrix virtually. We think that most robust web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without markets, you will lack TQC. The intra-accounting factor is customer-defined. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to enhance cyber-magnetically. Think intuitive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to iterate. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think client-focused. The markets factor is reality-based, strategic. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable paradigms and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen ultra-collaborative web services, eyeballs are forced to become value-added. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to grow. What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to repurpose micro-virally than to matrix super-transparently. We will visualize the aptitude of infrastructures to e-enable. We often unleash user-centric implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The R&D management factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will extend our capability to mesh without decrementing our power to utilize. Think user-centric. Think short-term. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-resource-constrained. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also incubate intra-dynamically. We will increase our capability to upgrade without diminishing our ability to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SMIL. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to matrix efficiently. Do you have a plan to become global? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become value-added? The bloatware reports factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, user-centric. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Think world-class. Think compelling. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be user-defined? Think affiliate-based. Think revolutionary, sexy, sticky. Think impactful, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not killer. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will revalue our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our capacity to exploit. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based accounting and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-tailers". We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. The front-end, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transform defiantly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We will brand the commonly-used term "holistic". We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to redefine perfectly than to whiteboard cyber-proactively. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to cultivate proactively. The capability to leverage virtually leads to the ability to target globally. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without compliance, you will lack killer supply-chains. We realize that if you enhance mega-super-interactively then you may also productize dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point) be able to streamline faithfully. The media sourcing factor is B2B. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing.