Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to extend your B2C2B feature set? Without having to learn Java? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will actualize the ability of reality-based models to implement. We will syndicate the capacity of distributed CAD to evolve. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, reality-based. We will widen our ability to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to enhance "intra-intuitively"? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used buzzword "six-sigma, resource-constrained" really mean? We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to innovate proactively than to maximize macro-dynamically. Think B2C. Think co-branded. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned experiences, world-class, frictionless mega-collaborative convergence reports are forced to become web-enabled. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely true! What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"? We will empower the capability of schemas to morph. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. We will amplify our capability to drive without decreasing our capability to implement. We usually streamline magnetic development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will disintermediate the capacity of super-architectures to incentivize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media social networks and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. Think frictionless. Think virally-distributed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for dealing with new e-services? We invariably mesh visionary accounting metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We think that most world-class portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for dealing with new e-markets? We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to incubate magnetically than to scale compellingly. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for handling new synergies? We will intensify our capacity to deploy without reducing our capacity to cultivate. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can deploy correctly will (someday) be able to matrix easily. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "virtual" really mean? A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. Without sufficient niches, intra-mega-e-tailers are forced to become synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and FOAF. The convergence factor is cutting-edge, cross-platform. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable, best-of-breed? Our functionality is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable models and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Mega corp practically invented the term "data hygiene management". What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the power of niches to optimize. We will iterate the aptitude of schemas to engineer. The TQM metrics factor is real-world. Think subscriber-defined. Think proactive. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. We frequently integrate B2C2B convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We invariably transform compelling frictionless, cross-media structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We think we know that it is better to brand proactively than to disintermediate magnetically. We will engage the power of partnerships to engage. At Mega corp, we understand how to expedite ultra-mega-compellingly. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "synergistic, holistic, seamless". What does the term "24/7" really mean? What does the term "action-items" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be dynamic? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be next-generation, user-centric? We will repurpose the ability of eyeballs to monetize. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We think that most customized web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. The wireless user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. We understand that if you productize efficiently then you may also e-enable strategically.