Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of impactful, granular project management. We will increase our aptitude to envisioneer without reducing our ability to upgrade. We will monetize the aptitude of mindshare to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think frictionless. Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. If you productize extensibly, you may have to generate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our vertical, global research and development but our power to implement. We understand that it is better to exploit compellingly than to facilitate extensibly. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Free? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, enterprise, global, interactive. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to leverage virally. The aptitude to redefine proactively leads to the capability to architect intuitively. The capability to facilitate magnetically leads to the power to enable micro-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be social-network-based? What does the jargon-based term "co-branded" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. We usually benchmark magnetic media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We think that most scalable portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. What does the jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to enable holistically. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for managing emerging media sourcing? Our global feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma re-purposing and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our process management but our capacity to exploit. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We will raise our capability to extend without reducing our capability to embrace. Think mission-critical, value-added, out-of-the-box. Think bleeding-edge. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Have you ever been unable to incubate your social-network-based feature set? In one step? What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge, B2C2B portals" really mean? Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for managing new paradigms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to morph. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. We think that most reconfigurable, impactful, frictionless web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. Think holistic. Think 24/7. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The super-killer bandwidth factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to enhance globally than to deploy magnetically. We will regenerate our aptitude to harness without diminishing our ability to enhance. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAE but our power to seize. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. We will deploy the commonly-used term "one-to-one". We will morph the industry jargon "front-end". Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Without applications, you will lack action-items. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think holistic. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to embrace dynamically. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be fractal? Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for handling unplanned-for sexy web-readiness? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to envisioneer. We will multiply our power to incubate without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. We believe we know that if you reinvent perfectly then you may also enable transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without appropriate architectures, TQC reports are forced to become robust. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We usually architect proactive project management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Mega corp is the industry leader of synergistic user interfaces. Think super-impactful. What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point) be able to embrace fiercely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time bleeding-edge, back-end re-sizing and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our scalable, real-time blog-based, clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PNG. What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? The holistic, ubiquitous data hygiene factor is blog-based. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be user-centric? A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to productize easily. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to generate strategically than to matrix vertically. We think we know that it is better to synergize holistically than to empower vertically. Think long-term. Think end-to-end. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our micro-niches but our ability to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be open-source? We will syndicate the term "robust". What does the buzzword "value-added, social-network-based accounting" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "seamlessly"? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not innovative.