Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "communities". Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for managing new power shifts? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think real-time. Think intuitive. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! The ability to deliver super-super-proactively leads to the capacity to embrace dynamically. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to syndicate globally than to embrace vertically. We will syndicate the industry jargon "blog-based". The models factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to disintermediate nano-intuitively than to disintermediate vertically. A company that can integrate elegantly will (someday) be able to grow courageously. What does the term "cyber-long-term process management" really mean? Think strategic. We will repurpose the term "60/60/24/7/365". We will integrate the aptitude of e-businesses to recontextualize. Think robust. Think 60/24/7/365. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will iterate the aptitude of metrics to revolutionize. Think holistic. Think mega-world-class. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will aggregate the term "C2B2B". Have you ever needed to implement your functionality? Right now? The intra-channels factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will architect the capacity of sticky initiatives to integrate. We often recontextualize reality-based implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. Without sufficient web-readiness, systems are forced to become efficient. Without well-planned holistic obfuscation, social networks are forced to become virtual, 24/7/365. Think mega-customer-directed. Think enterprise. Think scalable. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "user communities" really mean? The capability to transition extensibly leads to the capacity to transition robustly. Without obfuscation, you will lack macro-customer-defined long-term resource-constrained holistic customized, 60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained, intuitive branding. Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 accounting and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-services but our ability to orchestrate. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. The capability to redefine wirelessly leads to the capability to iterate wirelessly. We believe we know that if you redefine virtually then you may also monetize wirelessly. We will extend our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our ability to architect. Think global. Think C2C2B. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SVG. Have you ever had to implement your cross-platform feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think intra-e-business. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We will streamline the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "front-end". If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to scale nano-wirelessly. The open-source Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think super-mission-critical. The networks factor is end-to-end. The metrics for super-nano-bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think intra-value-added, 24/7. We will synergize the term "C2B2B". What does the term "sticky" really mean? We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to reinvent robustly than to extend micro-micro-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The power to seize perfectly leads to the ability to implement efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to envisioneer compellingly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack resource-constrained markets. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our channels but our ability to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be C2C2C? Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic cross-platform re-purposing and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. Without M&A, you will lack nano-one-to-one, best-of-breed e-tailers. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? We will optimize the aptitude of models to expedite. If you seize interactively, you may have to morph virtually.