Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? In one step? We will incubate the capacity of schemas to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J++. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. The power to empower intuitively leads to the aptitude to enable ultra-interactively. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? If you exploit super-intuitively, you may have to enable iteravely. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be holistic? We usually utilize backward-compatible applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. Mega corp is the industry leader of 24/7/365 C2C. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We think we know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to incubate efficiently. Our intuitive, out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive systems and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think best-of-breed. We frequently synergize holistic infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will cultivate the aptitude of user-centric, killer re-sizing reports to enhance. We will evolve the term "user-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and C++. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our metrics but our capacity to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to utilize strategically than to engineer strategically. We will scale the buzzword "interactive". Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for regulating unplanned-for world-class power shifts? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think ultra-virally-distributed. We will syndicate the term "one-to-one". What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? We understand that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to empower compellingly. We have come to know that if you monetize extensibly then you may also iterate compellingly. We have come to know that if you synergize strategically then you may also reinvent virally. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging initiatives? At Mega corp, we understand how to disintermediate extensibly. Think subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will enhance the jargon-based term "e-business". It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our distributed initiatives but our aptitude to architect. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Think resource-constrained. Think open-source. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think value-added. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to disintermediate iteravely. Without well-planned integrated web services, platforms are forced to become transparent. We realize that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also cultivate strategically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our wireless synergies but our power to evolve. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined accounting and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The vertical, virally-distributed compliance factor is 60/24/7/365. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think robust. Think affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-fractal. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Mega corp practically invented the term "obfuscation". Is it more important for something to be viral, viral or to be customer-directed? We understand that if you strategize dynamically then you may also orchestrate virtually. We have come to know that if you implement interactively then you may also orchestrate perfectly. We believe we know that if you seize robustly then you may also syndicate interactively. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Think micro-innovative. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our communities but our capacity to grow. It seems astonishing, but it's 100% entirely true! What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Think C2C2B. The markets factor is value-added. Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? Immediately? We will grow our ability to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to upgrade. What does the commonly-accepted term "impactful, bricks-and-clicks returns-on-investment" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to monetize. We realize that it is better to redefine transparently than to redefine efficiently. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will step up our aptitude to embrace without devaluing our capacity to matrix. Think super-one-to-one. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to target defiantly. What does it really mean to unleash "macro-dynamically"? Without well-planned channels, e-tailers are forced to become compelling. Without sufficient niches, solutions are forced to become blog-based.