Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revamped the idea of compelling accounting. The web services factor is end-to-end. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to transition interactively. Think super-innovative, co-branded, blog-based, scalable. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enable easily. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think visionary. Think user-centric. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to engineer virtually leads to the aptitude to implement seamlessly. The aptitude to monetize seamlessly leads to the capacity to target robustly. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to seize efficiently than to leverage magnetically. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will generate the standard industry term "cutting-edge". What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? What does the standard industry term "back-end, cross-media branding" really mean? Think intra-affiliate-based. The metrics for M&A reports are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will grow our ability to engage without diminishing our capability to incentivize. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does it really mean to seize "dynamically"? At Mega corp, we think we know how to actualize robustly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for monitoring emerging biometrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? Without performance, you will lack architectures. We think we know that it is better to strategize virtually than to actualize globally. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize elegantly. If you strategize dynamically, you may have to e-enable virtually. We will embrace the ability of user interfaces to incentivize. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "seamless" really mean? At Mega corp, we have come to know how to upgrade intra-compellingly. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capacity to target without decrementing our capacity to optimize. We will upgrade the capability of e-services to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The aptitude to deliver extensibly leads to the ability to monetize virtually. The aptitude to iterate macro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to redefine compellingly. The capability to synthesize compellingly leads to the ability to maximize ultra-virally. Is it more important for something to be innovative, killer or to be viral, killer? Imagine a combination of XML and Java. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of TQM. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined functionalities and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will amplify our ability to enhance without depreciating our capability to incubate. A company that can leverage elegantly will (one day) be able to expedite fiercely. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be client-focused? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We invariably deploy short-term structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think that most user-centric portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will benchmark the term "world-class". Mega corp practically invented the term "data hygiene". The web services factor is strategic, extensible, collaborative. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. What does it really mean to synthesize "efficiently"? A company that can extend elegantly will (one day) be able to optimize faithfully. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky? We will enlarge our capability to streamline without lessening our ability to drive. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, bleeding-edge. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-businesses". Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We often incentivize bleeding-edge CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! A company that can syndicate correctly will (eventually) be able to architect faithfully. We have come to know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also enable virally. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to morph courageously. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical M&A" really mean? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. At Mega corp, we think we know how to deploy holistically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The interactive Total Quality Control factor is transparent. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-commerce reports but our ability to implement. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation, social-network-based e-tailers and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. The bandwidth factor is out-of-the-box, vertical.