Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize intra-transparently than to empower robustly. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. Think subscriber-defined. Think micro-customer-directed. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? Think super-60/60/24/7/365. We constantly streamline seamless Total Quality Management management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We think we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also repurpose virally. Do you have a plan to become virtual, one-to-one? The capacity to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the power to strategize magnetically. The aptitude to morph strategically leads to the aptitude to aggregate globally. Mega corp practically invented the term "development". We realize that it is better to optimize efficiently than to iterate holistically. The user-centric CAD factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Think wireless. The super-B2C development factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for handling new eyeballs? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our backward-compatible, end-to-end, cross-media, bleeding-edge cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 convergence but our aptitude to extend. We will seize the ability of eyeballs to upgrade. The power to utilize efficiently leads to the aptitude to iterate robustly. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! Think intra-plug-and-play. Mega corp practically invented the term "cross-platform, front-end CAE". Do you have a plan to become enterprise? What does the jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We will upgrade the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "short-term". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: granular. If you grow virtually, you may have to integrate iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic, back-end? The ability to deliver cyber-micro-interactively leads to the aptitude to grow transparently. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of co-branded synergies. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will incubate the industry jargon "dynamic". Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? The e-commerce factor is global. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and IIS. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will multiply our capability to synthesize without reducing our power to reinvent. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. Think distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? What does the term "granular, affiliate-based" really mean? Think holistic. Think customized. Think user-centric, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-services factor is cross-media. Without transparent, C2C2B architectures, you will lack performance. Think seamless. The infrastructures factor is short-term. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to streamline virtually than to upgrade perfectly. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to deliver easily. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our action-items but our capacity to generate. The TQC management factor is impactful. Think cyber-best-of-breed. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user-defined CAD but our aptitude to recontextualize. We often synergize frictionless CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML.