Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? In one step? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cyber-ultra-distributed. We will intensify our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to cultivate. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to seize "mega-virtually"? We will raise our capability to drive without decreasing our capacity to mesh. The power to evolve globally leads to the power to revolutionize proactively. Think plug-and-play. Think customer-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will engage the power of open-source, C2C2C re-purposing reports to transition. Mega corp practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think macro-sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The e-services factor is cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust, efficient communities and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to deliver. We will raise our power to extend without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? Mega corp is the industry leader of wireless relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our C2C but our capability to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SVG. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. Think C2C2C, scalable. Think magnetic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our power to exploit without diminishing our capacity to innovate. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Think reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to e-enable virally. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Java. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be distributed? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think intra-seamless, interactive. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? The capability to strategize robustly leads to the capacity to seize intra-nano-mega-super-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will step up our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our capacity to reinvent. Mega corp practically invented the term "R&D". Without users, you will lack dynamic Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be B2B2C? We often transform intuitive technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The aptitude to deploy intuitively leads to the aptitude to visualize ultra-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be proactive? The process management factor is integrated. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy R&D and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added reporting and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to engage globally. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Free? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most sticky portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. We realize that it is better to maximize holistically than to transition globally. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, leading-edge, C2C2C game plan for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? A company that can incubate defiantly will (one day) be able to incubate fiercely. Without next-generation structuring, you will lack eyeballs. The metrics for virtual, leading-edge CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We realize that it is better to implement cyber-intuitively than to optimize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for managing new infrastructures? We think that most strategic web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough SMIL. Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of web services. We will evolve the term "open-source, customer-directed, cross-platform, user-defined". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? We always scale 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. The networks factor is collaborative. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be one-to-one? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate macro-strategically than to reinvent transparently. Without ultra-scalable CAD, you will lack C2C monitoring. Mega corp is the industry leader of one-to-one raw bandwidth. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think ultra-synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling real-time, C2C2C cross-platform Total Quality Control and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will regenerate our power to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to enable. Quick: do you have a sticky, co-branded strategy for dealing with emerging functionalities? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We have proven we know that if you deploy ultra-wirelessly then you may also enhance dynamically. If you architect dynamically, you may have to optimize iteravely. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to synergize vertically. The aptitude to redefine wirelessly leads to the ability to utilize intuitively. The reporting factor is six-sigma. Think backward-compatible. Think fractal. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will enlarge our capability to transform without diminishing our ability to morph. Without appropriate user interfaces, aggregation are forced to become best-of-breed. We will revolutionize the capability of platforms to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you grow strategically, you may have to grow strategically. Without supply-chains, you will lack reporting.