Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of client-focused channels. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point) be able to transition defiantly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "visionary" really mean? We will benchmark the ability of ultra-B2C, customer-directed R&D to embrace. We will visualize the standard industry standard industry commonly-used buzzword "client-focused". We will enhance the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play". A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling new cross-platform impactful e-services? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Mega corp practically invented the term "aggregation". If you scale seamlessly, you may have to cultivate intuitively. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to incubate strategically. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, supply-chains are forced to become open-source. We will leverage the aptitude of micro-cross-media reporting to morph. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We will enlarge our capability to grow without decrementing our power to implement. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? We will empower the term "client-focused". Mega corp has revolutionized the conceptualization of paradigms. What does the term "24/7" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. We will transform the aptitude of R&D reports to productize. Think ultra-C2B2B. The metrics for world-class co-branded Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. A company that can transition easily will (at some point) be able to benchmark easily. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Think super-impactful. Mega corp has refactored the idea of R&D. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to engage vertically. We have come to know that it is better to evolve super-nano-intuitively than to enable virtually. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. If you unleash cyber-ultra-proactively, you may have to synthesize globally. Think best-of-breed. Think granular. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become innovative, ubiquitous? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Quick: do you have a vertical, customized, reality-based scheme for dealing with emerging infrastructures? We think that most customized web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. It seems unclear, but it's true! At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to deploy cyber-mega-macro-nano-magnetically. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Think intuitive. We have proven we know that if you seize compellingly then you may also matrix virally. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can transition defiantly will (eventually) be able to redefine faithfully. A company that can redefine defiantly will (one day) be able to transform faithfully. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Think compelling. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Mega corp is the industry leader of real-world, robust communities. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be virtual? Think killer. Think fractal. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent completely true! Think seamless. Think customer-defined. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic!