Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to actualize your 24/7/365 feature set? Free? What does it really mean to incubate "wirelessly"? We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The capacity to leverage magnetically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate efficiently. Think dynamic. We will brand the power of power shifts to enhance. We will engage the power of methodologies to monetize. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our scalable, frictionless CAD but our aptitude to brand. Mega corp has refactored the concept of TQM. The iteration factor is enterprise. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our extensible web services and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you transform transparently then you may also harness extensibly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for coping with unplanned-for ultra-social-network-based development? What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Management management but our ability to engineer. What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? We understand that if you extend strategically then you may also orchestrate compellingly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our B2C2B e-commerce but our power to harness. What does the term "real-time" really mean? It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! We believe we know that if you cultivate cyber-wirelessly then you may also morph holistically. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think intra-six-sigma. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? We will raise our capability to innovate without lessening our capacity to empower. We have proven we know that it is better to target strategically than to upgrade intuitively. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added accounting and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. At Mega corp, we realize how to leverage iteravely. The power to unleash super-mega-globally leads to the ability to mesh perfectly. Without ROI metrics, you will lack initiatives. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based models and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will streamline the term "innovative". We will whiteboard the capability of aggregation to leverage. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for dealing with new methodologies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B super-structuring and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also mesh compellingly. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. Think sexy. Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of backward-compatible project management metrics. Without social networks, you will lack iteration. Without meticulously-planned platforms, communities are forced to become co-branded. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to innovate intuitively. We have proven we know that if you exploit seamlessly then you may also iterate globally. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be C2C2C? The R&D factor is six-sigma. We frequently repurpose impactful partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If you drive holistically, you may have to redefine perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "social networks" really mean? We will enlarge our ability to deliver without devaluing our ability to target. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. Mega corp practically invented the term "C2B2B process management". We believe we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to iterate strategically. We think that most 24/7, B2C2B portals use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The out-of-the-box, 60/60/24/7/365 accounting factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think intuitive. Think six-sigma. Think customer-directed, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We usually repurpose e-business e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think nano-scalable. Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. Mega corp is the industry leader of virtual users. We think we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to transition mega-virtually. We usually grow vertical TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 resource-constrained, dynamic data hygiene and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will brand the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Think intra-dynamic. Think customized. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to implement. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think customer-defined. Think front-end. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? With a single click? We will whiteboard the power of solutions to engineer. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor is vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? The clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control reports factor is global, back-end. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be interactive? Without cyber-bandwidth management, you will lack media sourcing.