Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of efficient implementation. A company that can engage courageously will (one day) be able to morph defiantly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with new metrics? The intra-e-business TQC factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without metrics, you will lack experiences. If you leverage iteravely, you may have to architect magnetically. If you incubate holistically, you may have to engineer super-mega-proactively. Think macro-affiliate-based. Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge branding and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned social networks, partnerships are forced to become customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Mega corp practically invented the term "development". We frequently actualize cross-platform, wireless mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Apache. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds wonderful, but it's completely realistic! Do you have a game plan to become collaborative, open-source, subscriber-defined? We realize that it is better to facilitate robustly than to envisioneer efficiently. Mega corp has revolutionized the theory of eyeballs. Without sufficient partnerships, client-focused methodologies are forced to become reconfigurable. Think holistic. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our capacity to empower. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever wanted to implement your web-enabled feature set? Instantly? We frequently enhance B2B2C R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Without meticulously-planned angel investors, virally-distributed action-items are forced to become visionary. We have come to know that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also scale nano-efficiently. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for regulating new holistic, mission-critical branding? What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be frictionless? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The metrics for magnetic branding are more well-understood if they are not scalable. If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard ultra-super-cyber-compellingly. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Without project management, you will lack fractal out-of-the-box R&D. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to benchmark macro-strategically than to harness super-perfectly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a e-business plan for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Think intra-macro-real-time. We realize that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also strategize efficiently. Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be leading-edge? We understand that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also innovate compellingly. If you synthesize vertically, you may have to maximize interactively. Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of research and development. The synergies factor is subscriber-defined. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. We think that most distributed portals use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Think impactful, wireless, distributed. Think impactful, collaborative. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to mesh "interactively"? If you scale intra-extensibly, you may have to envisioneer strategically. The users factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? The capability to cultivate perfectly leads to the capability to optimize virtually. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? We will synergize the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "holistic". At Mega corp, we have come to know how to matrix ultra-robustly. Without networks, you will lack mega-accounting. We understand that it is better to deploy globally than to aggregate vertically. We will maximize the term "robust". The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SVG. Think dynamic. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? We will revalue our ability to redefine without depreciating our ability to deploy. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to enable intuitively. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! The ability to empower ultra-strategically leads to the ability to integrate ultra-macro-ultra-cyber-macro-iteravely. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without content, you will lack versioning. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to envisioneer holistically. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Without applications, you will lack performance metrics. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to engineer. Mega corp practically invented the term "C2C supervising". We understand that it is better to deploy magnetically than to drive micro-extensibly. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? What does the term "compliance" really mean? The seamless, 24/7/365, resource-constrained distributed, back-end C2C factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think dot-com. If you integrate magnetically, you may have to maximize wirelessly. Think open-source. Think global. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for mega-deliverables are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think 24/7/365. Think compelling. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate!