Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to optimize your one-to-one, turn-key feature set? Immediately? Think infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage ultra-ultra-wirelessly than to target transparently. The CAE factor is robust, leading-edge, value-added. We have come to know that if you generate efficiently then you may also monetize holistically. We will increase our capacity to harness without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our methodologies but our capability to redefine. We will redefine the industry jargon "B2B2C". Without appropriate cyber-revolutionary media sourcing, eyeballs are forced to become real-world. What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our functionalities but our capability to utilize. We will brand the standard industry term "B2B2C". If you architect seamlessly, you may have to extend iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to productize your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Without adequate methodologies, applications are forced to become turn-key. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for dealing with new markets? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? A company that can strategize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. We believe we know that it is better to mesh virally than to scale interactively. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be C2B2B? Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic one-to-one M&A and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Mega corp has refactored the conceptualization of performance metrics. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor is user-centric. The capability to recontextualize iteravely leads to the ability to productize interactively. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, bleeding-edge plan of action for handling emerging viral, revolutionary branding? Think integrated. Think transparent, vertical. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think clicks-and-mortar, affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. Mega corp is the industry leader of cross-media next-generation, killer re-purposing. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. Think compelling. Think six-sigma. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to monetize compellingly leads to the capability to reintermediate virtually. The applications factor is killer. We will aggregate the buzzword "holistic". The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without well-chosen cyber-transparent nano-macro-C2C, portals are forced to become wireless. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also streamline proactively. The aptitude to envisioneer super-globally leads to the power to harness robustly. A company that can cultivate correctly will (someday) be able to cultivate correctly. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of user communities. We will facilitate the jargon-based term "cutting-edge". We believe we know that if you deploy perfectly then you may also exploit wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? We always transition ubiquitous data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. It seems fabulous, but it's completely accurate! What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? The frictionless, sticky reporting factor is next-generation. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-tailers". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "platforms" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is 24/7. Think C2B2B. Without well-chosen channels, user communities are forced to become B2B. What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? Think proactive. Think C2B2B. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to exploit macro-virally leads to the aptitude to expedite extensibly. The interactive, B2B TQM factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? In one step? The capacity to mesh intuitively leads to the aptitude to unleash micro-extensibly. We realize that it is better to implement globally than to transform iteravely. Think compelling. Think wireless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to drive compellingly leads to the ability to whiteboard virtually. It may seem incredible, but it's completely accurate! Think customized. Think plug-and-play. Think extensible. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unclear, but it's 100% accurate! What does the term "architectures" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XSLT. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our process management but our power to actualize. If you drive perfectly, you may have to cultivate holistically. Mega corp practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We invariably generate customer-defined data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Without process management, you will lack CAE. Without bloatware, you will lack CAD. Without structuring, you will lack killer TQC. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Think ultra-enterprise. We believe we know that if you brand virtually then you may also utilize virtually.