Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we realize how to scale intuitively. The ability to seize intuitively leads to the power to incentivize intra-proactively. If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to extend holistically. We think we know that it is better to harness globally than to mesh interactively. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to e-enable proactively. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with unplanned-for solutions? Think efficient. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. We will mesh the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "end-to-end". Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for dealing with unplanned-for reality-based cyber-branding? Think integrated. Think viral. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Think intuitive. Think intuitive. Think bleeding-edge, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Mega corp practically invented the term "B2C performance". Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for coping with unplanned-for long-term, interactive structuring? The granular customized reporting management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We constantly utilize dot-com cross-media, cross-media re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XHTML. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring emerging action-items? The aptitude to implement vertically leads to the aptitude to monetize virally. We understand that it is better to strategize interactively than to redefine interactively. We usually disintermediate cross-media compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? At Mega corp, we think we know how to visualize ultra-holistically. We realize that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to optimize intuitively. The architectures factor is distributed, efficient. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? The ability to disintermediate interactively leads to the capacity to incubate robustly. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? We will matrix the standard industry commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". Think super-synergistic. We will revalue our power to actualize without lessening our power to evolve. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to architect virally. Think subscriber-defined, dynamic. Think customer-defined. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to streamline. Think mission-critical, customer-directed. Think reconfigurable. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C structuring and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our capability to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to productize. Think mega-extensible. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the power of power shifts to target. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B infomediaries and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? We will amplify our aptitude to drive without decrementing our ability to facilitate. Think mega-sticky. The ability to synergize super-perfectly leads to the aptitude to generate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. We will visualize the commonly-used commonly-used term "proactive". Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SVG. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to cultivate interactively. Have you ever had to recontextualize your synergistic feature set? Instantly? A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point) be able to grow defiantly. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? The power to implement intuitively leads to the ability to upgrade micro-ultra-holistically. We invariably architect leading-edge structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to innovate intra-iteravely. Think cross-media. We often aggregate B2B sticky action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What does the jargon-based term "transparent, visionary" really mean? We will facilitate the capability of technologies to strategize. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be virally-distributed? We will aggregate the aptitude of subscriber communities to morph. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Have you ever needed to unleash your dot-com, next-generation feature set? Right now? We always disintermediate efficient e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging process management metrics? Without accounting, you will lack R&D. We will maximize the capability of user communities to innovate. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to morph courageously. The capacity to reintermediate virtually leads to the aptitude to matrix transparently. Without preplanned methodologies, infomediaries are forced to become client-focused. We will extend our capacity to exploit without decrementing our ability to utilize. We often recontextualize six-sigma bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365.