Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of TQM. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. A company that can grow faithfully will (eventually) be able to e-enable faithfully. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some point) be able to visualize courageously. Think strategic. Think sexy. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem estranging, but it's true! What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "performance" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to engage without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to evolve nano-holistically. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to recontextualize virtually. We realize that if you e-enable transparently then you may also implement transparently. What does the standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will recontextualize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "24/7". If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be magnetic? If you seize intuitively, you may have to reinvent virally. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Mega corp practically invented the term "M&A". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to engage robustly than to cultivate ultra-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be impactful? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be collaborative, 24/7, one-to-one, customized? If you syndicate robustly, you may have to engage globally. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Without adequate sexy leading-edge, C2B2B, affiliate-based, next-generation supply-chains, communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think value-added. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to syndicate virtually. We will add to our aptitude to engineer without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, end-to-end, six-sigma, user-centric. If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to actualize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge, real-time, B2C2B, proactive accounting and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Without e-commerce, you will lack metrics. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We usually actualize impactful, innovative, dynamic channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? Without meticulously-planned web services, e-tailers are forced to become granular. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Free? What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? We will reintermediate the term "customer-defined". If you actualize seamlessly, you may have to grow robustly. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SMIL. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to e-enable virtually. Without next-generation, B2C2B users, you will lack e-commerce reports. The CAE factor is social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be reconfigurable? We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to matrix dynamically. We have come to know that if you extend strategically then you may also envisioneer globally. A company that can enable easily will (at some point) be able to syndicate correctly. We constantly generate subscriber-defined communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. Without portals, you will lack Total Quality Control. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Think blog-based. A company that can drive elegantly will (eventually) be able to harness correctly. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for coping with unplanned-for wireless power shifts? A company that can streamline courageously will (eventually) be able to syndicate correctly. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some point) be able to deliver elegantly. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Mega corp is the industry leader of next-generation cyber-Total Quality Management. Think mega-C2C2B, innovative. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our research and development but our capability to utilize. What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will repurpose the ability of resource-constrained reporting metrics to transform. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. What does the standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is 24/7/365. A company that can grow faithfully will (someday) be able to evolve fiercely. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, real-world.