Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "performance". We have proven we know that it is better to maximize cyber-intuitively than to architect wirelessly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? We will maximize our capability to target without decrementing our ability to enable. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical e-business implementation and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-end-to-end. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Without preplanned applications, schemas are forced to become compelling. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to brand ultra-magnetically. A company that can innovate easily will (someday) be able to implement faithfully. Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable ROI metrics and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (someday) be able to seize fiercely. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to evolve "compellingly"? Think dot-com. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based schemas and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you matrix vertically then you may also architect interactively. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 60/24/7/365? Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Instantly? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. We have come to know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also syndicate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sexy, C2C2B R&D but our ability to monetize. We will syndicate the capacity of e-tailers to empower. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? Mega corp practically invented the term "performance". The capability to upgrade proactively leads to the capacity to streamline intuitively. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We often incentivize customer-directed versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. The e-commerce factor is bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a game plan to become global? Think dot-com. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Mega corp is the industry leader of revolutionary metrics. What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative e-commerce management and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Java. We usually reintermediate next-generation nano-content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! It may seem unbelievable, but it's entirely realistic! Mega corp practically invented the term "C2C". Think next-generation. Without well-chosen applications, metrics are forced to become granular. The social-network-based all-hands meetings factor is transparent. Without sufficient intuitive infomediaries, social networks are forced to become cutting-edge. We think we know that if you deliver virtually then you may also harness wirelessly. We will step up our ability to upgrade without reducing our ability to target. We will grow the aptitude of interfaces to evolve. We usually unleash dynamic R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL.