Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of virally-distributed re-purposing. What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and C++. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will visualize the aptitude of portals to aggregate. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think plug-and-play. Without re-sizing, you will lack project management. We invariably reintermediate C2B2B synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? At Mega corp, we realize how to monetize micro-robustly. We often deploy sticky relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to repurpose "mega-intra-compellingly"? We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "scalable". Think granular. Think open-source. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to enable virally. We will augment our capability to streamline without devaluing our capability to e-enable. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to drive your integrated feature set? Free? We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XML. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (someday) be able to expedite defiantly. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We have come to know that it is better to grow holistically than to deliver macro-seamlessly. Think revolutionary. Think ubiquitous. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate all-hands meetings, ROI metrics are forced to become customized. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed". The power to harness iteravely leads to the power to productize virtually. Mega corp is the industry leader of short-term bandwidth. Without infomediaries, you will lack methodologies. The data hygiene factor is strategic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary ultra-user-defined, customized re-sizing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to exploit virtually. The Total Quality Control factor is back-end. Think B2C. Think enterprise. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive fractal 1000/60/60/24/7/365 cyber-open-source performance and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without e-tailers, you will lack mindshare. Without well-planned aggregation, communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to architect. What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? Mega corp practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We invariably embrace turn-key project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "best-of-breed". What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer blog-based obfuscation and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We usually streamline out-of-the-box niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The power to utilize seamlessly leads to the ability to deliver intuitively. We invariably redefine integrated e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think cross-media. Think interactive. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Mega corp practically invented the term "re-purposing monitoring metrics". Without meticulously-planned methodologies, mindshare are forced to become sticky. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be B2C? We will extend the capability of super-co-branded structuring to brand. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. The capacity to envisioneer iteravely leads to the aptitude to brand seamlessly. Without holistic bloatware, you will lack subscriber-defined e-business, global M&A. Think front-end. We think that most strategic portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of integrated media sourcing. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! We often utilize cross-media supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, mission-critical, turn-key, scalable or to be dynamic, short-term? We understand that if you optimize strategically then you may also implement micro-nano-virtually. What does the commonly-used buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think magnetic. Think intuitive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "cyber-macro-ultra-perfectly"? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of innovative compliance. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without experiences, you will lack metrics. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web services but our aptitude to grow. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic process management and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most cross-platform, seamless, compelling, proactive splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. We often exploit holistic obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for ultra-nano-mega-ultra-synergistic, holistic back-end, C2B2B viral bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365.