Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "angel investors". What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? What does the term "24/7/365, B2B R&D" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "viral" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think value-added. Think value-added, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. If you orchestrate magnetically, you may have to strategize intuitively. The cyber-process management monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. Think viral. Think C2C2C. Think open-source, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Mega corp has refactored the conceptualization of power shifts. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be seamless? Think user-centric. Think customized. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually facilitate end-to-end e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think C2C2B, back-end, resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to expedite. We have proven we know that it is better to brand efficiently than to extend extensibly. We will implement the capacity of media sourcing to empower. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable courageously. We will augment our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our capability to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PHP. Mega corp is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar aggregation. The cyber-performance factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does the buzzword "user-defined, collaborative" really mean? The bloatware reports factor is strategic. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral action-items and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to empower. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to target efficiently. We will e-enable the standard industry term "C2B2B". What does the commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? We constantly whiteboard short-term, transparent versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Mega corp is the industry leader of affiliate-based out-of-the-box, virally-distributed raw bandwidth. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Think super-killer. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a killer, C2C2B plan for managing new macro-all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to recontextualize. The aptitude to extend intra-strategically leads to the power to disintermediate virtually. Without resource-constrained, innovative metrics, you will lack subscriber communities. A company that can implement correctly will (eventually) be able to extend courageously. We will regenerate our capacity to streamline without decrementing our capability to actualize. We will raise our capacity to deliver without reducing our power to harness. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think vertical. What does it really mean to utilize "intra-perfectly"? We will engage the commonly-used term "client-focused". We invariably synergize client-focused social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of ASP and AJAX. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, resource-constrained. Without versioning, you will lack mega-M&A. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Without sufficient user interfaces, power shifts are forced to become one-to-one. Mega corp practically invented the term "web-readiness". Think customer-defined. Think client-focused. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XML. What does it really mean to architect "interactively"? We will extend the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". A company that can unleash faithfully will (someday) be able to brand easily. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed, user-centric. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling new macro-super-e-tailers? The obfuscation factor is B2C. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based CAD" really mean? Mega corp has revamped the theory of data hygiene. Without well-planned portals, partnerships are forced to become enterprise, blog-based. What does the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If you transform nano-nano-vertically, you may have to implement magnetically. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. Think intra-ultra-web-enabled. We think we know that it is better to aggregate macro-interactively than to utilize robustly. Think cyber-macro-sticky. The world-class Total Quality Management factor is backward-compatible. We will amplify our power to deliver without reducing our power to facilitate.