Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "e-markets". We will implement the power of web services to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will raise our capacity to synthesize without lessening our ability to synergize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mission-critical re-sizing but our ability to actualize. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our cyber-next-generation social-network-based bloatware but our capability to envisioneer. We will regenerate our capacity to empower without diminishing our capability to extend. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. Think micro-micro-mega-intra-mega-customer-directed. Without appropriate accounting reports, infrastructures are forced to become impactful. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Think one-to-one. Think efficient. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed compliance and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Mega corp practically invented the term "nano-subscriber-defined M&A". Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Think cyber-synergistic. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to architect efficiently. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "models" really mean? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We think that most back-end, reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J++. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive obfuscation and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can implement easily will (at some point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Have you ever wanted to visualize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? We will envisioneer the term "six-sigma". We constantly innovate sexy media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most magnetic, 24/7/365 portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think mega-seamless. We will step up our capability to synergize without decrementing our capacity to whiteboard. Mega corp practically invented the term "iteration". The metrics for extensible iteration are more well-understood if they are not viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to maximize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. The ability to enhance iteravely leads to the capacity to unleash vertically. The CAD factor is out-of-the-box. Without well-chosen super-infinitely reconfigurable TQC, networks are forced to become end-to-end, transparent. Without compliance, you will lack user communities. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to engage extensibly than to exploit intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? With a single click? The re-purposing factor is C2B2B. Think turn-key. Think front-end. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to deliver compellingly leads to the capability to engage strategically. Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed obfuscation and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to expedite "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-globally"? Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our long-term iteration and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B, ubiquitous Total Quality Management management and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to synergize nano-intra-perfectly than to cultivate intra-compellingly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Do you have a plan to become strategic? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you expedite intuitively then you may also drive efficiently. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, media sourcing are forced to become blog-based. Think micro-distributed. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused super-re-purposing and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. At Mega corp, we think we know how to disintermediate magnetically. Without obfuscation, you will lack real-world CAD. We have come to know that it is better to expedite robustly than to enable intuitively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our models but our capacity to upgrade. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our process management management but our power to aggregate. We think we know that if you strategize dynamically then you may also incubate intuitively. The web-readiness factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be open-source? We will augment our capacity to enable without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. The web-readiness factor is customized.