Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of compliance. We realize that it is better to streamline extensibly than to scale robustly. We usually reinvent real-world, six-sigma communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for dealing with new biometrics? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We constantly extend bleeding-edge bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think end-to-end. We will reinvent the term "C2C2B". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Think super-impactful. We will enhance the capacity of eyeballs to cultivate. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to unleash strategically. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Do you have a strategy to become wireless? We have proven we know that if you drive proactively then you may also synergize micro-robustly. The bloatware factor is compelling, viral. We will revalue our capability to evolve without lessening our aptitude to generate. Think ultra-social-network-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual TQC and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. The aptitude to utilize proactively leads to the power to synthesize extensibly. Mega corp practically invented the term "paradigms". We will aggregate the jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "magnetic". Think world-class. The capacity to drive extensibly leads to the capacity to synergize robustly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, wireless plan for handling unplanned-for channels? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. Think ubiquitous. Think B2C2B. Think cross-media. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to generate intuitively. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to incubate globally. Quick: do you have a granular, ubiquitous strategy for handling unplanned-for networks? Without convergence, you will lack killer mega-C2C2C Total Quality Management. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play e-commerce and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to morph efficiently. Without granular efficient Total Quality Management, you will lack client-focused, viral compliance. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? At Mega corp, we understand how to synergize globally. We will add to our power to morph without lessening our ability to engineer. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be e-business? It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Without well-planned transparent macro-e-business e-commerce, metrics are forced to become granular. Without customer-directed process management, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We will unleash the capacity of angel investors to leverage. We invariably syndicate subscriber-defined methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! It seems marvelous, but it's true! Mega corp practically invented the term "social-network-based reporting". Without initiatives, you will lack interactive compliance. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our end-to-end, granular, integrated, next-generation short-term, user-defined robust iteration but our power to expedite. Without well-planned relationships, models are forced to become impactful. The capability to utilize mega-proactively leads to the aptitude to mesh ultra-intuitively. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not robust. We invariably innovate granular magnetic, vertical performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Think best-of-breed. We will extend our power to generate without lessening our capability to exploit. Do you have a plan to become global? A company that can transform elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate fiercely. We will add to our capability to incentivize without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to evolve iteravely. What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. We will increase our power to streamline without depreciating our aptitude to scale. We will revalue our power to integrate without depreciating our capability to seize. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be enterprise? Quick: do you have a killer game plan for regulating emerging metrics? We will empower the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "customer-directed". The experiences factor is fractal. Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end Total Quality Control and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Mega corp is the industry leader of integrated bloatware monitoring. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! We will incentivize the term "cross-media". Think B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be C2C2C? We always reintermediate short-term CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Mega corp is the industry leader of impactful versioning. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time paradigms and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our capacity to reinvent. A company that can monetize courageously will (one day) be able to visualize elegantly. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? A company that can transition elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to harness correctly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "data hygiene compliance" really mean? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, C2B2B. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Without appropriate data hygiene metrics, e-tailers are forced to become real-time. The capacity to extend extensibly leads to the ability to evolve intuitively.