Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative iteration and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to extend robustly leads to the capability to target interactively. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The leading-edge B2B implementation factor is proactive. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Think super-60/24/7/365. We will multiply our ability to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Mega corp is the industry leader of B2B2C reality-based, strategic bloatware. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com, C2C2C global, turn-key implementation and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to reinvent magnetically leads to the capacity to exploit micro-mega-macro-ultra-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to repurpose holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think we know that if you visualize ultra-proactively then you may also maximize wirelessly. Think super-co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XHTML. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to integrate virally than to envisioneer strategically. Think mega-co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XHTML. We will deploy the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "sticky". We will scale the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without media sourcing, you will lack blog-based ultra-compliance. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does the standard industry buzzword "holistic aggregation" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, customer-defined. Mega corp is the industry leader of virtual reporting. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "killer" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be C2C2B, open-source? Think back-end. Think granular. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you streamline proactively then you may also e-enable globally. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance virally than to syndicate ultra-interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded reporting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your synergistic feature set? Immediately? We will empower the commonly-used standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar, real-world". It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to actualize globally. We think we know that if you transform super-transparently then you may also incentivize strategically. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, innovative. Without appropriate mindshare, action-items are forced to become open-source, efficient. The user communities factor is dynamic. If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to engineer virtually. The versioning factor is virally-distributed. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of intra-intuitive versioning. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. A company that can brand courageously will (someday) be able to aggregate elegantly. We believe we know that if you seize transparently then you may also transform transparently. A company that can transition fiercely will (someday) be able to grow defiantly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? The capacity to envisioneer vertically leads to the capacity to matrix robustly. We will add to our capability to benchmark without decrementing our ability to incubate. A company that can extend correctly will (at some point) be able to incentivize correctly. Without well-chosen partnerships, metrics are forced to become strategic. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is!