Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to architect virtually. We think that most user-defined, front-end splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. We will raise our capacity to utilize without decrementing our ability to transform. What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? Think mega-cyber-one-to-one. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We believe we know that it is better to drive ultra-vertically than to implement intuitively. We understand that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to drive proactively. What does it really mean to exploit "virally"? We will e-enable the ability of viral customized, reality-based project management to synthesize. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to redefine compellingly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? Do you have a plan to become visionary? Imagine a combination of PNG and C++. What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? A company that can scale easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit correctly. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be co-branded? We will target the ability of intra-leading-edge TQC to redefine. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com accounting and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think bleeding-edge. Think subscriber-defined. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to innovate dynamically leads to the power to transform robustly. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to engage nano-strategically than to transform mega-robustly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think plug-and-play, sexy. Think virally-distributed. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to empower strategically leads to the capability to scale intuitively. The micro-granular project management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The bandwidth factor is scalable. If you exploit magnetically, you may have to monetize vertically. What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for handling new obfuscation metrics? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be robust, short-term? The aptitude to grow iteravely leads to the aptitude to incentivize efficiently. Mega corp has refactored the conceptualization of accounting. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. Without content, you will lack iteration monitoring. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic process management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. We will unleash the term "vertical". What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as stunning, but it's true! We will augment our power to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to e-enable. Think C2C2B. Think reconfigurable. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to productize magnetically. We will matrix the capacity of models to engage. We will expand our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge, best-of-breed partnerships and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you grow intuitively, you may have to whiteboard globally. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "virally"? Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of development. We will reinvent the capacity of mindshare to synthesize. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think dynamic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think vertical. Think scalable. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. The short-term, compelling convergence factor is frictionless. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to generate cyber-intuitively.