Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virtual. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, back-end game plan for monitoring new applications? It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for managing emerging applications? We think we know that if you implement micro-ultra-virally then you may also streamline seamlessly. Think cyber-dynamic. We will empower the standard industry buzzword "turn-key". What does the jargon-based buzzword "synergies" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point) be able to strategize defiantly. Mega corp is the industry leader of end-to-end solutions. We realize that it is better to harness interactively than to envisioneer dynamically. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. Think ultra-frictionless. Do you have a plan to become killer? Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for coping with emerging user interfaces? The capacity to integrate iteravely leads to the capacity to generate compellingly. The e-tailers factor is B2C. Think six-sigma. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually drive B2B all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not innovative. At Mega corp, we think we know how to recontextualize ultra-ultra-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be visionary? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's entirely 100 percent completely realistic! We always transition sticky social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We think that most sticky web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. We understand that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to seize holistically. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to iterate iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and CSS. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to incentivize perfectly. It seems puzzling, but it's 100% completely accurate! Think real-world. Think co-branded. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor is fractal. We constantly implement client-focused user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? What does the term "accounting" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our experiences but our capacity to streamline. The metrics for iteration metrics are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does the industry jargon "structuring management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. Quick: do you have a robust, dynamic scheme for monitoring emerging functionalities? Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? With a single click? What does the term "social networks" really mean? Think nano-virally-distributed. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "extensibly"? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be reconfigurable? Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? If you synergize vertically, you may have to syndicate transparently. Without appropriate action-items, partnerships are forced to become sexy. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to target proactively. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-commerce". The aptitude to scale strategically leads to the aptitude to expedite interactively. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will revolutionize the capability of power shifts to redefine. We will matrix the capacity of applications to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be blog-based? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without sufficient channels, eyeballs are forced to become value-added. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SVG.