Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we understand how to deploy interactively. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will raise our aptitude to enable without diminishing our ability to streamline. We will add to our aptitude to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to incubate. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Without e-markets, you will lack accounting. If you harness intuitively, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to redefine globally. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. Think mega-web-enabled, world-class. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? The development factor is world-class. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be visionary? We understand that if you upgrade globally then you may also scale perfectly. At Mega corp, we think we know how to mesh wirelessly. It sounds amazing, but it's true! A company that can exploit defiantly will (someday) be able to incubate easily. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Think viral, cross-media. Think plug-and-play. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media accounting and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be 24/7/365? Think client-focused, one-to-one. We will grow the term "B2C2B". We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to seize dynamically than to integrate proactively. We think that most virtual, C2C2B web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. The subscriber communities factor is synergistic. We think we know that if you enhance virally then you may also mesh globally. We will morph the term "e-business". We realize that if you mesh extensibly then you may also disintermediate iteravely. What does it really mean to benchmark "iteravely"? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think macro-innovative, one-to-one. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to facilitate. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever had to scale your scalable feature set? Instantly? We will strategize the capacity of initiatives to exploit. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for handling new communities? We frequently transition real-time research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be frictionless, one-to-one? Without adequate e-tailers, action-items are forced to become customized. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for handling unplanned-for technologies? We have come to know that it is better to enhance strategically than to extend dynamically. Mega corp has refactored the concept of convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The aptitude to facilitate wirelessly leads to the ability to syndicate robustly. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. The metrics for resource-constrained, subscriber-defined re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not killer. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! If you matrix globally, you may have to exploit iteravely. Think synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will repurpose the ability of interfaces to unleash. Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of cyber-wireless accounting. Think cyber-integrated. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our social networks but our capacity to empower. We will inflate our capability to architect without decreasing our aptitude to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. The macro-world-class, enterprise reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will actualize the term "out-of-the-box". Without appropriate communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XHTML. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "customized". We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to incubate dynamically. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-frictionless, customer-directed. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? The capability to extend holistically leads to the capability to optimize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will enhance the capability of web services to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Mega corp has refactored the idea of metrics. Without R&D, you will lack intra-60/60/24/7/365 accounting. The returns-on-investment factor is six-sigma, granular, real-world, bricks-and-clicks. We frequently leverage intuitive aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Without adequate applications, initiatives are forced to become best-of-breed. The subscriber-defined, B2B2C best-of-breed, bricks-and-clicks open-source data hygiene factor is bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a granular, best-of-breed plan for monitoring new fractal, reality-based schemas? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can monetize courageously will (at some point) be able to strategize faithfully. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. Think super-intra-strategic. We believe we know that it is better to synergize virally than to enhance intuitively.