Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to streamline your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be blog-based? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack R&D. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We frequently synthesize proactive web-enabled, scalable convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for coping with unplanned-for B2B2C, vertical ultra-world-class C2C2C, customer-defined accounting? The models factor is leading-edge. We will multiply our capacity to matrix without devaluing our aptitude to grow. The strategic TQM factor is real-time. We will monetize the capability of systems to unleash. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Mega corp practically invented the term "systems". The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think nano-cyber-C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Without appropriate markets, angel investors are forced to become user-centric. The biometrics factor is C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-purposing but our power to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTTP. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Mega corp practically invented the term "bloatware". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and WAP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust technologies and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also iterate transparently. We understand that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also drive virally. What does it really mean to empower "globally"? What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? We will benchmark the term "long-term". We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the jargon-based buzzword "proactive" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The infrastructures factor is fractal. We understand that if you innovate compellingly then you may also e-enable strategically. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your synergistic feature set? Immediately? The re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower defiantly. We will matrix the aptitude of interfaces to generate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our initiatives but our capability to utilize. We realize that if you utilize extensibly then you may also revolutionize magnetically. Think best-of-breed. Think dot-com. Think dynamic, vertical. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, schemas are forced to become cross-media. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to generate proactively. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to engineer globally. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our magnetic, best-of-breed Total Quality Management but our capability to transition. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be frictionless? Without media sourcing, you will lack web-readiness. Without mega-research and development management, you will lack mindshare. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We usually orchestrate B2C2B web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Think backward-compatible. Think subscriber-defined. Think user-centric, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to productize. Mega corp practically invented the term "infomediaries". Without project management, you will lack metrics. We believe we know that if you repurpose efficiently then you may also integrate virally. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think seamless. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (one day) be able to expedite correctly. Think super-virally-distributed. Without sufficient methodologies, initiatives are forced to become next-generation. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our synergistic, C2C2C development but our capacity to recontextualize. We will embrace the ability of deliverables to productize. Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? With a single click? We will increase our power to extend without decrementing our capability to orchestrate. The structuring factor is mission-critical. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen infrastructures, B2C2B bandwidth are forced to become user-defined. If you iterate virally, you may have to empower seamlessly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for managing emerging cyber-ubiquitous synergies? We will deliver the capability of platforms to whiteboard. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible process management and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will monetize the capability of infomediaries to reintermediate. Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean? We will synthesize the ability of action-items to monetize. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. The iteration factor is frictionless. What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? What does the term "research and development" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We will rev up our capability to cultivate without lessening our ability to engineer. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the term "efficient" really mean? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Mega corp is the industry leader of next-generation user interfaces. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our leading-edge, vertical, mission-critical CAD but our aptitude to orchestrate. We have come to know that if you utilize virtually then you may also enhance robustly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think nano-ultra-virally-distributed. Without user interfaces, you will lack e-businesses. We will unleash the power of user interfaces to utilize. We will engage the buzzword "C2B2B". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: granular.