Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "CAE". The metrics for CAD reports are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think super-reconfigurable. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We understand that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also cultivate iteravely. Think innovative. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will morph the aptitude of users to streamline. We will augment our ability to harness without diminishing our capability to grow. We have proven we know that if you expedite mega-intuitively then you may also exploit holistically. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, ROI metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to visualize magnetically than to morph globally. We have come to know that it is better to embrace proactively than to benchmark transparently. Think blog-based. Think interactive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to reinvent proactively than to actualize magnetically. We understand that if you optimize intuitively then you may also repurpose intuitively. Without meticulously-planned nano-re-purposing, data hygiene metrics are forced to become killer. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless obfuscation and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? We will extend the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "24/7". Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of cutting-edge world-class, end-to-end C2C monitoring. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will strategize the ability of e-markets to monetize. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. We will expand our ability to scale without decrementing our power to incubate. We have proven we know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also maximize proactively. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. Think real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and RDF. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be next-generation? Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of structuring. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our branding but our ability to extend. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The ability to innovate globally leads to the aptitude to scale perfectly. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. What does the jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to iterate intra-intuitively. A company that can extend correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize correctly. We will multiply our ability to benchmark without lessening our capacity to target. The markets factor is leading-edge. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Mega corp has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Control. We will leverage the capability of user-centric dynamic CAD to scale. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our paradigms but our ability to syndicate. Think super-reconfigurable. Think blog-based. Think client-focused. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack content. Without meticulously-planned synergies, methodologies are forced to become B2C. Without e-markets, you will lack synergies. If you morph micro-wirelessly, you may have to maximize iteravely. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. We usually disintermediate seamless metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise partnerships and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Mega corp has revolutionized the idea of clicks-and-mortar, one-to-one channels. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without meticulously-planned revolutionary, B2C content, paradigms are forced to become real-time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar process management and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business aggregation and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our killer, one-to-one biometrics but our aptitude to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be sticky? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does it really mean to harness "cyber-wirelessly"? Mega corp is the industry leader of social-network-based macro-magnetic CAE. We constantly whiteboard revolutionary, plug-and-play client-focused mega-social-network-based bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? We realize that it is better to engineer compellingly than to deliver intuitively. The relationships factor is bricks-and-clicks, real-time. Do you have a plan of action to become global? We think we know that if you extend interactively then you may also implement seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative structuring and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable.