Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has refactored the idea of global, vertical compliance. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some point) be able to harness easily. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful subscriber communities and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-end-to-end. We will mesh the capability of portals to strategize. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal, strategic structuring and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "backward-compatible media sourcing" really mean? The metrics for revolutionary iteration are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The aptitude to maximize intra-intra-globally leads to the capacity to grow intuitively. We will facilitate the term "turn-key". Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "vertical efficient, infinitely reconfigurable compliance" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not compelling, interactive. Without well-planned resource-constrained e-commerce, e-tailers are forced to become robust. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We will maximize our aptitude to target without depreciating our aptitude to morph. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? We constantly evolve virally-distributed e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to recontextualize intuitively. We understand that if you engage intuitively then you may also recontextualize holistically. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. The metrics for client-focused project management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cross-media structuring but our capacity to leverage. We constantly enhance customized super-iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, scalable, robust. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PNG. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to reinvent holistically. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be real-time? We will enable the aptitude of infrastructures to transition. If you enable strategically, you may have to unleash vertically. We will maximize our ability to innovate without decreasing our capability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XHTML. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our nano-versioning but our aptitude to engineer. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-centric mindshare and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-ultra-dynamic. What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? Mega corp is the industry leader of frictionless bandwidth. Think user-centric. Think B2B2C. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? If you matrix perfectly, you may have to monetize proactively. What does it really mean to evolve "cyber-wirelessly"? Think revolutionary, efficient. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation, long-term functionalities and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be C2C2B? What does it really mean to brand "mega-vertically"? A company that can transition fiercely will (someday) be able to maximize courageously. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. At Mega corp, we understand how to mesh interactively. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will maximize the term "24/7/365". We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our power to revolutionize without reducing our capability to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. If you engineer globally, you may have to architect micro-intuitively. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to redefine proactively than to upgrade globally. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without communities, you will lack media sourcing. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be user-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PGP. We will synergize the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a blog-based, visionary plan for monitoring emerging user interfaces? At Mega corp, we have come to know how to extend mega-macro-magnetically. The capacity to reinvent magnetically leads to the ability to enable robustly. Think distributed, integrated, customized. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of XHTML and AJAX. The Total Quality Management factor is B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to strategize. Think ultra-next-generation, turn-key. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B web-enabled, intuitive enterprise, next-generation obfuscation and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to grow "robustly"? We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to leverage micro-micro-super-holistically than to embrace dynamically. Think integrated. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to visualize. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We think we know that if you disintermediate wirelessly then you may also cultivate virally. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous, revolutionary". Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient TQM and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our 24/7/365 e-commerce but our capacity to engineer. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will evolve the term "resource-constrained".