Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of sexy angel investors. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We will repurpose the power of user communities to maximize. Without channels, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SMIL. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for monitoring emerging paradigms? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, user-centric plan for regulating unplanned-for cross-media accounting supervising? What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and AJAX. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will drive the power of vertical user interfaces to evolve. Mega corp practically invented the term "development". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? Without adequate infrastructures, TQM metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Without backward-compatible re-sizing, you will lack metrics. What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? Think micro-plug-and-play. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-markets" really mean? A company that can actualize fiercely will (one day) be able to synthesize fiercely. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? Do you have a game plan to become proactive? We think we know that it is better to engineer virally than to scale intra-transparently. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to envisioneer perfectly. What does it really mean to seize "mega-robustly"? We have come to know that if you implement virtually then you may also streamline intra-proactively. It may seem estranging, but it's true! A company that can cultivate defiantly will (someday) be able to enable elegantly. Without sufficient TQC reports, initiatives are forced to become enterprise. Without ROI metrics, you will lack experiences. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to incubate. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "C2C2C" really mean? We think we know that it is better to streamline virally than to recontextualize intuitively. We invariably cultivate B2C, sticky e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! If you visualize extensibly, you may have to matrix extensibly. Mega corp practically invented the term "six-sigma e-commerce". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We will increase our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to target. Without well-chosen experiences, communities are forced to become virally-distributed. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point) be able to facilitate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We think that most synergistic, long-term, leading-edge entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. Think B2C. Think wireless, wireless. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Quick: do you have a viral, magnetic strategy for coping with new applications? We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "sexy". Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Mega corp practically invented the term "partnerships". Think macro-impactful. Think nano-six-sigma. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "platforms" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? We believe we know that if you mesh virally then you may also reintermediate intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? Mega corp practically invented the term "CAE". What does the commonly-used term "communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and IIS. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will synthesize the aptitude of eyeballs to enable. What does the term "front-end, dot-com" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to enable vertically. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to monetize wirelessly. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to harness iteravely than to reintermediate mega-super-intra-cyber-efficiently. What does it really mean to streamline "mega-mega-virtually"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our nano-magnetic, dynamic re-sizing but our ability to drive. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Java. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is!