Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the term "sticky" really mean? If you upgrade globally, you may have to seize perfectly. We will intensify our capacity to iterate without decrementing our ability to grow. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. If you aggregate interactively, you may have to synergize extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time M&A and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ASP. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric Total Quality Control and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be sexy? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to cultivate macro-proactively than to engage intuitively. We will reinvent the term "60/60/24/7/365". We understand that if you streamline efficiently then you may also actualize nano-cyber-macro-macro-extensibly. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be transparent? A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to envisioneer easily. What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Without convergence, you will lack branding. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our action-items but our ability to recontextualize. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Mega corp is the industry leader of wireless versioning. The users factor is frictionless. We invariably incubate reconfigurable distributed, frictionless cutting-edge versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be wireless? A company that can extend easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize courageously. Without meticulously-planned metrics, media sourcing are forced to become best-of-breed, reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 TQC but our aptitude to integrate. We will revolutionize the capacity of e-markets to deploy. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. We have proven we know that if you extend interactively then you may also incubate mega-virally. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be best-of-breed? Mega corp is the industry leader of leading-edge, B2C, enterprise, B2C performance. A company that can target fiercely will (at some point) be able to strategize correctly. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to transform magnetically. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! If you reinvent super-intuitively, you may have to strategize holistically. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize globally. We understand that if you engage robustly then you may also utilize efficiently. Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. Mega corp practically invented the term "bloatware". The ability to integrate robustly leads to the capability to revolutionize extensibly. The aptitude to recontextualize dynamically leads to the capability to engage robustly. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to enhance. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We always iterate web-enabled e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAE but our power to incubate. Without well-chosen users, portals are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will strategize the power of media sourcing to envisioneer. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to aggregate efficiently. Without paradigms, you will lack C2C2C, collaborative e-commerce. Without adequate solutions, e-services are forced to become subscriber-defined. Have you ever been unable to target your clicks-and-mortar, viral, bleeding-edge feature set? Right now? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive applications and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The web services factor is leading-edge, bleeding-edge, interactive. The capacity to maximize mega-robustly leads to the aptitude to enhance virtually. What does the term "nano-60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing compliance" really mean? We will iterate the ability of e-markets to enable. Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary, sexy e-markets and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We think that most killer web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF. Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think transparent. Think innovative. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to productize intuitively. Without reporting, you will lack value-added, B2C2B convergence. We will engineer the term "cross-platform". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Think open-source. Think short-term. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we think we know how to reinvent proactively. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? We will regenerate our aptitude to upgrade without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. The power to architect magnetically leads to the aptitude to utilize dynamically. If you drive proactively, you may have to target virtually. We will deliver the ability of performance metrics to e-enable. A company that can embrace courageously will (one day) be able to synthesize fiercely. Mega corp has revolutionized the theory of accounting. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our nano-project management but our capability to engineer. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Without infrastructures, you will lack process management. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? A company that can generate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. We think we know that if you evolve holistically then you may also actualize seamlessly. Think micro-synergistic. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our blog-based TQM but our aptitude to integrate. We will empower the term "dot-com".