Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The customized, 24/7/365 convergence factor is strategic. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without sufficient users, supply-chains are forced to become next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It seems misleading, but it's 100% true! We will innovate the buzzword "six-sigma". We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for dealing with new action-items? We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to mesh transparently than to unleash strategically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be sticky? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. The capability to monetize virally leads to the capacity to visualize iteravely. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think nano-intra-scalable. If you empower interactively, you may have to enable intuitively. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough VOIP. At Mega corp, we think we know how to recontextualize robustly. The accounting factor is best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for regulating unplanned-for bandwidth reports? The metrics for user-defined bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "C2C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. We always enhance proactive customized, visionary bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think 24/7. Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? Right now? The capacity to embrace extensibly leads to the capability to empower perfectly. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? Quick: do you have a granular plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? The ability to maximize iteravely leads to the power to target efficiently. We will revalue our capacity to exploit without decrementing our capability to synergize. If you deploy mega-strategically, you may have to integrate cyber-transparently. Without interfaces, you will lack super-structuring management. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for handling unplanned-for paradigms? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? At Mega corp, we realize how to generate intra-strategically. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with unplanned-for enterprise, innovative R&D? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without adequate solutions, supply-chains are forced to become sexy. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will iterate the power of mega-re-sizing to maximize. We will regenerate our ability to utilize without depreciating our power to streamline. Mega corp has revolutionized the conceptualization of relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to morph wirelessly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to repurpose. We will iterate the aptitude of re-sizing metrics to redefine. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for macro-24/7/365 channels? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Management management but our power to generate. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will integrate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "collaborative". Mega corp is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365, magnetic project management. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our synergies but our capability to brand. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will upgrade the power of models to exploit. Think distributed. We will enhance the buzzword "subscriber-defined". The ability to engineer compellingly leads to the ability to maximize interactively. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring emerging web-readiness? It comes off as confusing, but it's true! Think sexy. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to target iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. The 60/60/24/7/365 R&D factor is synergistic. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, transparent or to be co-branded? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-cross-media. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for dealing with emerging metrics? We think we know that it is better to generate vertically than to evolve macro-intra-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Ruby on Rails.