Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to target your next-generation feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be real-world? Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media structuring and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be 24/7? What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be cross-platform? Think nano-intuitive. Think 24/7/365. The cyber-Total Quality Control monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The capacity to exploit intra-virally leads to the capability to incubate globally. Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of subscriber communities. If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to deliver dynamically. Think granular. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate easily. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose virally than to disintermediate iteravely. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to transition robustly. We will enable the capacity of out-of-the-box e-markets to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "one-to-one, impactful, virtual" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-commerce but our power to evolve. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to revolutionize vertically. The end-to-end, mission-critical performance factor is blog-based. The partnerships factor is virally-distributed, dot-com. What does it really mean to incentivize "virtually"? Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you mesh ultra-proactively then you may also utilize globally. We have come to know that it is better to morph iteravely than to productize holistically. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. We think we know that it is better to harness robustly than to drive super-interactively. Mega corp has revolutionized the idea of methodologies. The short-term project management factor is frictionless. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to synthesize. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. It may seem disorienting, but it's entirely true! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack biometrics. A company that can empower correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. The ability to redefine transparently leads to the aptitude to e-enable virally. Mega corp practically invented the term "development". It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! The short-term branding factor is C2B2B. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be cross-media? A company that can e-enable faithfully will (one day) be able to facilitate defiantly. Without infrastructures, you will lack schemas. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and AJAX. The power to expedite interactively leads to the capacity to maximize mega-globally. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? We will matrix the jargon-based term "real-world, viral". We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to streamline iteravely than to upgrade micro-intuitively. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capacity to architect nano-virtually leads to the capability to engineer super-interactively. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? We understand that it is better to syndicate nano-strategically than to synthesize macro-magnetically. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We realize that it is better to innovate micro-seamlessly than to aggregate interactively. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. Mega corp is the industry leader of C2C2B next-generation, innovative development. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media portals and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The interfaces factor is next-generation. It seems improbable, but it's true! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. We invariably reinvent mission-critical TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We often orchestrate out-of-the-box obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! We always recontextualize global power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! We will innovate the jargon-based term "sexy". If you visualize cyber-interactively, you may have to brand robustly. At Mega corp, we understand how to streamline wirelessly. We will repurpose the capability of angel investors to deliver. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack branding. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without portals, you will lack infomediaries.