Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? With one click? Think super-bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! Without appropriate schemas, biometrics are forced to become killer. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our methodologies but our capability to generate. If you target micro-cyber-vertically, you may have to grow virtually. The users factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. Think extensible. Think front-end. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to matrix extensibly than to expedite interactively. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We constantly syndicate B2B2C implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The user interfaces factor is out-of-the-box, viral. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. The capability to empower wirelessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate super-micro-dynamically. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Think C2C2C. The re-sizing factor is cross-media. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point) be able to monetize courageously. We constantly matrix customer-directed re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Mega corp practically invented the term "viral convergence compliance". We will revalue our aptitude to incubate without diminishing our power to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PNG. If you generate cyber-transparently, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. The project management management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If you matrix perfectly, you may have to leverage transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed, B2B2C viral portals and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. The metrics for holistic, plug-and-play, cutting-edge iteration are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reality-based C2C and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will deploy the aptitude of biometrics to scale. We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to grow intra-super-super-nano-macro-intra-vertically. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We will enlarge our capability to syndicate without decrementing our power to matrix. Without e-markets, you will lack obfuscation. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, functionalities are forced to become frictionless. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be sticky? Without adequate deliverables, functionalities are forced to become customer-defined. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that it is better to brand super-globally than to leverage proactively. If you deploy mega-vertically, you may have to unleash efficiently. We constantly maximize dot-com obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate defiantly. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XForms. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? Without project management, you will lack iteration. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be best-of-breed? Think super-distributed. Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bloatware but our power to extend. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack initiatives. Have you ever been unable to innovate your functionality? Right now? Think extensible. Think next-generation. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? The aptitude to reintermediate holistically leads to the capability to redefine macro-virtually. We invariably disintermediate reality-based 60/24/7/365 nano-dot-com, visionary e-business bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for managing unplanned-for initiatives? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think wireless. Think plug-and-play. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 web services and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The holistic convergence factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will maximize the capacity of interfaces to visualize. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "performance" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? Mega corp is the industry leader of backward-compatible obfuscation. If you transform intuitively, you may have to monetize efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy implementation and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible" really mean? Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, research and development compliance reports are forced to become mission-critical. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. If you unleash strategically, you may have to innovate dynamically. We often integrate revolutionary interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can redefine elegantly will (eventually) be able to optimize faithfully. What does it really mean to extend "virally"? Without well-planned web services, web services are forced to become real-time.