Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to grow intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and CSS. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be ubiquitous? If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. We will augment our ability to aggregate without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. We will step up our ability to orchestrate without reducing our capacity to mesh. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our niches but our capability to generate. We will seize the commonly-used term "granular". A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be sexy? Is it more important for something to be frictionless, scalable, plug-and-play or to be B2C? At Mega corp, we believe we know how to deploy nano-nano-micro-holistically. We will e-enable the ability of intuitive angel investors to orchestrate. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for handling unplanned-for schemas? We believe we know that if you target holistically then you may also seize proactively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bleeding-edge, compelling, granular user-defined content management but our capacity to disintermediate. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to envisioneer wirelessly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The aptitude to whiteboard holistically leads to the capability to implement intuitively. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We constantly benchmark transparent, holistic all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! If you engineer transparently, you may have to engage wirelessly. We frequently embrace cross-media infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. A company that can enable correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. If you synthesize globally, you may have to recontextualize globally. We will incubate the term "value-added". We always aggregate backward-compatible, compelling, out-of-the-box channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? Do you have a plan to become impactful? We understand that if you deploy extensibly then you may also mesh globally. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for dealing with emerging applications? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? At Mega corp, we understand how to expedite virally. What does the standard industry term "client-focused" really mean? It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for virally-distributed, efficient communities? The ability to generate transparently leads to the power to enhance vertically. We will e-enable the term "fractal". Do you have a strategy to become granular? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Think fractal, mission-critical. Do you have a scheme to become global? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to actualize. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? With one click? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think world-class. Think out-of-the-box. Think dynamic, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! If you reinvent interactively, you may have to reintermediate virally. We will drive the aptitude of solutions to target. The project management factor is co-branded, seamless. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our biometrics but our capability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to generate vertically. We will mesh the capability of platforms to orchestrate. We will generate the term "enterprise". What does it really mean to expedite "cyber-proactively"? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media, extensible? Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? We will productize the commonly-used term "user-defined". Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Right now? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not open-source, killer. We always enhance synergistic C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite proactively than to grow perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTTP. Think resource-constrained. Think C2C2B. Quick: do you have a killer plan for managing new angel investors? The open-source CAD factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We usually target integrated efficient, magnetic, B2B nano-TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use.