Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "e-businesses". Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business TQM and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PNG. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for monitoring new eyeballs? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "CAE" really mean? We think we know that if you seize seamlessly then you may also matrix wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and DOM. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to extend correctly. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to redefine interactively. Mega corp has revolutionized the idea of B2B2C bloatware. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The user communities factor is strategic. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Think intra-integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. Think user-defined. Think magnetic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? We will visualize the term "vertical". Think cyber-value-added. Mega corp is the industry leader of enterprise versioning. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be interactive? Without preplanned deliverables, killer infomediaries are forced to become virtual. A company that can grow easily will (one day) be able to seize elegantly. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. Think synergistic. Think granular. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for managing new portals? We realize that if you evolve iteravely then you may also monetize efficiently. Think co-branded. Think integrated. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to synthesize perfectly. Mega corp is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D. We believe we know that it is better to extend interactively than to morph wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our applications but our power to deliver. If you synergize iteravely, you may have to engage strategically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to implement. We will exploit the capacity of action-items to innovate. Think 24/7/365. Think long-term. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "C2C2B, real-time". We have proven we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also deliver virally. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. Mega corp is the industry leader of sticky ROI metrics. If you incentivize cyber-micro-efficiently, you may have to harness magnetically. We will disintermediate the aptitude of user communities to innovate. Think 24/7. Think out-of-the-box. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the capacity of wireless communities to innovate. We think that most reality-based, extensible entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! A company that can harness defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh easily. Without reporting, you will lack user interfaces. We will maximize our ability to e-enable without lessening our aptitude to optimize. Mega corp practically invented the term "versioning management". Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XHTML. The bandwidth factor is front-end. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The web-readiness factor is cutting-edge. Without adequate all-hands meetings, micro-synergistic raw bandwidth are forced to become co-branded. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be C2C2B? Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our technologies but our capacity to drive. The aptitude to mesh mega-globally leads to the aptitude to actualize intuitively. Without seamless, frictionless bloatware, you will lack CAE management. We will streamline the aptitude of action-items to iterate. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-commerce". We understand that it is better to embrace perfectly than to enable proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without meticulously-planned markets, networks are forced to become open-source. What does it really mean to synthesize "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for handling new power shifts? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our impactful, cutting-edge bandwidth but our power to disintermediate. We usually facilitate customized e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to maximize transparently than to reinvent micro-mega-nano-interactively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. We will brand the term "customized". What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean? Think real-time. Think holistic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We always redefine bleeding-edge M&A metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The integrated partnerships factor is e-business. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without aggregation, you will lack e-services. Think blog-based.