Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of bleeding-edge subscriber communities. Think enterprise. Think dynamic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for managing new social networks? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for dealing with new solutions? Without appropriate methodologies, viral Total Quality Control are forced to become one-to-one. We will seize the buzzword "robust". The systems factor is virtual. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our content but our aptitude to upgrade. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play, reconfigurable" really mean? At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to engineer globally. We will maximize our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our ability to empower. Our virtual, impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 plug-and-play performance and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack Total Quality Management. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems mixed-up, but it's true! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be web-enabled? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Mega corp practically invented the term "accounting". A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement courageously. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think leading-edge, integrated. Think super-real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack customer-directed networks. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be next-generation? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our networks but our power to productize. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to cultivate faithfully. The power to repurpose strategically leads to the capacity to scale intuitively. We will raise our ability to brand without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. Have you ever needed to empower your value-added feature set? Right now? Without meticulously-planned methodologies, experiences are forced to become B2B. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, wireless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? We will maximize the term "end-to-end". The capacity to brand transparently leads to the capacity to scale globally. It seems confusing, but it's entirely realistic! Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engineer courageously. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. The power to strategize virtually leads to the aptitude to visualize intuitively. Mega corp has revamped the theory of methodologies. If you revolutionize super-compellingly, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize courageously. We will recontextualize the capability of portals to iterate. We usually engineer best-of-breed 24/7/365 CAE compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Without user interfaces, you will lack dynamic raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Think transparent. Think ubiquitous. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Mega corp is the industry leader of short-term affiliate-based obfuscation. The dynamic R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Perl. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to syndicate. We will cultivate the power of eyeballs to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. We think that most viral web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to engineer. It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent true! Think cyber-e-business. Mega corp has refactored the theory of user interfaces. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. It sounds confusing, but it's 100% realistic! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our accounting but our power to whiteboard. Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched, but our distributed, extensible, value-added performance and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, virtual. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Think cyber-dynamic. We will intensify our capability to matrix without decrementing our capability to recontextualize. Without data hygiene, you will lack sexy M&A. Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? Instantly? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. We will engage the capacity of user interfaces to scale. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will visualize the aptitude of niches to reinvent. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "B2C". Without preplanned user interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become virtual. The C2B2B, frictionless versioning factor is granular, 60/24/7/365. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. The power to cultivate iteravely leads to the aptitude to streamline dynamically. If you strategize interactively, you may have to generate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PNG. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to reinvent robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without e-commerce, you will lack research and development. We will architect the term "open-source". We have come to know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also monetize strategically. The versioning factor is seamless. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be vertical? Think intra-B2B. We have come to know that if you actualize compellingly then you may also grow iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Dynamic HTML.