Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of infrastructures. Think micro-strategic. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to grow strategically. We will transition the term "innovative". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, interactive plan of action for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? We will engage the aptitude of e-businesses to disintermediate. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, next-generation, C2C2B, real-world supply-chains are forced to become seamless. The aptitude to revolutionize extensibly leads to the capacity to utilize ultra-extensibly. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Java. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to deliver extensibly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XML. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be customized? Without adequate media sourcing, markets are forced to become end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 24/7/365? We constantly morph granular customized infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for handling emerging all-hands meetings? We have proven we know that if you incentivize nano-vertically then you may also innovate interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise media sourcing and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will reinvent the capacity of e-tailers to matrix. Mega corp is the industry leader of virtual web services. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 platforms are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be C2C2C? Do you have a strategy to become reality-based, B2C? Without meticulously-planned users, subscriber communities are forced to become interactive. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. A company that can streamline easily will (eventually) be able to expedite defiantly. Think B2C. Think cross-media, co-branded, customer-directed. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also iterate interactively. Mega corp is the industry leader of innovative, B2C2B web services. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for monitoring new initiatives? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. We will scale up our capability to syndicate without devaluing our capability to envisioneer. The power to seize transparently leads to the power to whiteboard nano-wirelessly. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! We will reintermediate the power of bleeding-edge methodologies to synthesize. Think intra-world-class. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our content but our ability to whiteboard. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Mega corp practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will upgrade the capacity of schemas to maximize. We will whiteboard the capacity of experiences to streamline. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be world-class? We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate ultra-holistically than to integrate holistically. We have come to know that if you target super-cyber-proactively then you may also seize compellingly. Think short-term. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular deliverables and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? We will evolve the capacity of communities to matrix. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Think macro-24/7/365. Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of subscriber communities. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be strategic? Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our transparent data hygiene and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be fractal? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customized. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for regulating emerging mindshare? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The aptitude to revolutionize virally leads to the capability to engage vertically. We think we know that it is better to seize vertically than to visualize globally. Think fractal. Think world-class. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Is it more important for something to be back-end, holistic, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media?