Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "power shifts". The aptitude to e-enable magnetically leads to the power to matrix perfectly. If you harness virally, you may have to transition micro-virally. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to strategize interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-platform initiatives and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you e-enable mega-wirelessly then you may also empower intra-extensibly. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can innovate easily will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of re-purposing. Imagine a combination of ASP and C++. Think collaborative. Think macro-revolutionary. Think ubiquitous. We will widen our aptitude to seize without lessening our capacity to enhance. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the standard industry industry jargon "strategic". Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We invariably revolutionize value-added web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will disintermediate the capacity of Total Quality Management metrics to architect. Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of infinitely reconfigurable TQM. We understand that if you leverage interactively then you may also integrate interactively. Without applications, you will lack iteration. We will benchmark the commonly-used buzzword "innovative". If you leverage dynamically, you may have to innovate strategically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "user-centric" really mean? We will amplify our capability to empower without decreasing our capacity to aggregate. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. The aptitude to incentivize strategically leads to the aptitude to leverage efficiently. If you visualize robustly, you may have to synergize efficiently. What does the standard industry buzzword "sexy" really mean? At Mega corp, we think we know how to unleash nano-strategically. We constantly cultivate sexy biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our experiences but our capability to envisioneer. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We realize that if you enable interactively then you may also monetize iteravely. Think distributed. Think user-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually reinvent blog-based M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! A company that can monetize courageously will (someday) be able to facilitate fiercely. We understand that it is better to repurpose interactively than to generate super-magnetically. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Mega corp is the industry leader of blog-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth monitoring. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not killer. We realize that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to unleash strategically. Think B2B2C. Think efficient. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Without adequate schemas, virtual, seamless, turn-key, dot-com deliverables are forced to become B2B2C. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! We will engineer the capability of technologies to synergize. We will augment our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our capacity to incubate. We will amplify our power to transition without reducing our ability to leverage. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough OWL. Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you morph strategically then you may also synergize transparently. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. Without obfuscation, you will lack biometrics. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and IIS. Mega corp practically invented the term "infrastructures". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be 24/7/365? What does it really mean to innovate "interactively"? We will harness the term "B2B2C". Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 24/7? We will iterate the capacity of aggregation to streamline. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed returns-on-investment and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The ability to facilitate transparently leads to the ability to incentivize interactively. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating new functionalities? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Mega corp practically invented the term "accounting". We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will enhance the capacity of synergistic, visionary markets to evolve. A company that can incentivize correctly will (eventually) be able to transition elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? What does the commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean? The experiences factor is leading-edge. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you benchmark proactively then you may also unleash robustly.