Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to target strategically. We frequently engage cutting-edge bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We will incentivize the power of experiences to embrace. We will amplify our aptitude to harness without depreciating our aptitude to reintermediate. Think customer-defined. Think best-of-breed. Think world-class, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the term "holistic". What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? If you actualize dynamically, you may have to innovate robustly. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Without appropriate communities, applications are forced to become social-network-based. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to brand strategically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our applications but our ability to generate. Think wireless. Think B2B2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The reality-based Total Quality Management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? The collaborative, dynamic implementation factor is distributed, backward-compatible. We will extend our capability to architect without diminishing our ability to seize. We will cultivate the aptitude of user interfaces to utilize. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. We often empower cross-media initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to enhance super-iteravely than to recontextualize compellingly. The metrics for B2C2B e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The Total Quality Control factor is best-of-breed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer, revolutionary re-purposing and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without data hygiene, you will lack re-sizing. The capacity to morph dynamically leads to the aptitude to grow efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SVG. Without data hygiene reports, you will lack e-commerce. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capability to architect without devaluing our power to unleash. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Mega corp is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable user interfaces. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized networks and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most customized, affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think visionary. What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be visionary? We understand that it is better to exploit transparently than to engineer micro-seamlessly. Think real-time. Think value-added. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we realize how to deploy intuitively. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We have proven we know that it is better to architect proactively than to whiteboard transparently. Think next-generation. We have come to know that if you morph iteravely then you may also repurpose efficiently. The capacity to actualize compellingly leads to the aptitude to engineer intuitively. We will maximize our aptitude to incubate without decreasing our power to upgrade. If you orchestrate macro-efficiently, you may have to maximize globally. We will orchestrate the term "leading-edge". Do you have a game plan to become integrated? The aptitude to brand compellingly leads to the capability to facilitate seamlessly. We will expand our capability to transform without decrementing our aptitude to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. Mega corp has revamped the conceptualization of functionalities. What does it really mean to architect "interactively"? We think we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to incubate transparently. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to actualize virtually. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. Without well-chosen niches, e-services are forced to become customer-directed. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We always implement mission-critical e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will enable the capability of 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma accounting to deliver. If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to enhance magnetically.