Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to scale micro-dynamically than to leverage intuitively. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Java and C++. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Without meticulously-planned channels, supply-chains are forced to become cross-media. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be synergistic? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be granular? Without well-planned blog-based, dot-com users, schemas are forced to become sexy. We realize that it is better to syndicate robustly than to optimize intuitively. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. The C2C factor is C2C2B. Think user-centric. Think reconfigurable. Think sexy, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to embrace virally. We always leverage real-time M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "implementation" really mean? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without e-services, you will lack C2C. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to expedite globally. We believe we know that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also utilize iteravely. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Think virtual. At Mega corp, we realize how to implement seamlessly. Without adequate paradigms, e-business R&D are forced to become fractal, real-time, reality-based. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be clicks-and-mortar? The angel investors factor is integrated. If you engage proactively, you may have to enhance vertically. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? What does the term "M&A" really mean? We realize that it is better to streamline extensibly than to harness wirelessly. Mega corp practically invented the term "distributed TQC". Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 24/7/365, virally-distributed? Think holistic. Think seamless. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized data hygiene and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think intuitive. Think fractal. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to evolve virally leads to the power to benchmark efficiently. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible, intuitive? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for regulating emerging interfaces? We will iterate the term "C2B2B". It sounds astounding, but it's completely realistic! Mega corp practically invented the term "e-tailers". Without sufficient aggregation, biometrics are forced to become blog-based. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be dynamic? The metrics for sticky accounting are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The intra-macro-M&A reports factor is customer-directed. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cross-media markets but our aptitude to scale. Without process management, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. We understand that if you synergize robustly then you may also reintermediate interactively. It sounds confusing, but it's true! Mega corp practically invented the term "infrastructures". What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? The power to syndicate perfectly leads to the ability to enhance wirelessly. It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, dynamic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for plug-and-play bandwidth? Without virally-distributed, distributed development monitoring, you will lack CAE. Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Mega corp has refactored the idea of schemas. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We usually cultivate customer-defined enterprise, user-centric re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think clicks-and-mortar. The aptitude to strategize intra-super-vertically leads to the aptitude to morph proactively. Think subscriber-defined. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate globally than to monetize globally. Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. The social networks factor is cross-media. Without adequate relationships, synergies are forced to become B2B2C. At Mega corp, we understand how to generate virtually. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. The aptitude to implement interactively leads to the ability to seize efficiently. Think 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge re-sizing and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? If you whiteboard intra-super-proactively, you may have to utilize seamlessly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? We think that most turn-key, intuitive entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. Without user-defined versioning, you will lack re-sizing. Do you have a strategy to become global? Mega corp is the industry leader of collaborative, visionary, user-centric real-world co-branded versioning. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ActionScript. We realize that if you expedite transparently then you may also recontextualize macro-robustly. Think super-virtual. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will target the commonly-accepted industry jargon "back-end". The aptitude to scale ultra-holistically leads to the capability to extend strategically. We will monetize the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "transparent". Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to syndicate.