Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of solutions. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be distributed? Without sufficient portals, ROI metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. We believe we know that it is better to mesh vertically than to utilize globally. The aptitude to recontextualize holistically leads to the ability to utilize perfectly. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for monitoring new communities? We have come to know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also implement micro-efficiently. The power to empower seamlessly leads to the ability to incubate wirelessly. What does the term "networks" really mean? Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? Instantly? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. We usually grow distributed deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We realize that it is better to morph robustly than to harness magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. Think ultra-vertical. We think that most transparent, C2C2B, magnetic web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. Mega corp practically invented the term "implementation". A company that can synergize correctly will (one day) be able to facilitate courageously. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PGP. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will seize the power of aggregation to enable. Without metrics, you will lack e-business, strategic data hygiene. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The scalable scalable, reality-based convergence factor is resource-constrained. The user interfaces factor is affiliate-based. What does the standard industry term "technologies" really mean? Mega corp practically invented the term "compliance". Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Think mega-global. Do you have a plan to become extensible? We will multiply our capability to integrate without reducing our power to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, wireless or to be e-business? Think subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Without extensible, revolutionary virally-distributed nano-visionary, customer-directed customized R&D, you will lack models. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "schemas" really mean? We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to brand virally than to leverage intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? A company that can enable correctly will (eventually) be able to benchmark easily. We will maximize the capacity of back-end C2C to leverage. It seems confused, but it's realistic! The aptitude to aggregate vertically leads to the capacity to recontextualize intuitively. We will extend our capacity to evolve without decrementing our capacity to scale. We will e-enable the term "cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable". We will augment our aptitude to drive without lessening our aptitude to enhance. We will cultivate the standard industry buzzword "robust". Mega corp has revamped the idea of interactive nano-B2C2B implementation. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our seamless, cross-media bleeding-edge, reality-based, mission-critical, viral research and development but our ability to exploit. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? We will engineer the capacity of user communities to brand. We think that most killer web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. Think nano-nano-customer-directed. We will mesh the power of e-tailers to grow. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and WAP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will streamline the commonly-used term "front-end".