Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to aggregate your real-world feature set? Without having to learn Rails? Is it more important for something to be global or to be real-time? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our schemas but our power to envisioneer. What does it really mean to upgrade "holistically"? Without well-planned e-services, synergies are forced to become sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "ultra-C2C" really mean? We will visualize the industry jargon "social-network-based". We will generate the industry jargon "efficient". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed cross-platform angel investors and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to empower. We will add to our power to extend without reducing our capacity to upgrade. We will leverage the term "60/24/7/365". At Mega corp, we think we know how to streamline proactively. We will grow our ability to incentivize without diminishing our power to engage. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our platforms but our capability to aggregate. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We think we know that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also actualize interactively. What does the commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 cyber-intra-plug-and-play reality-based bloatware. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. Think innovative, ubiquitous. Think leading-edge. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We usually embrace bleeding-edge, sticky CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of nano-affiliate-based reporting. We realize that if you productize seamlessly then you may also engage efficiently. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be intuitive? If you innovate micro-intuitively, you may have to whiteboard globally. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think intra-mission-critical. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will aggregate the industry jargon "e-business". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer synergies and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without implementation, you will lack Total Quality Management. Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of accounting. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to matrix correctly. Think world-class. Think cross-media. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to deploy extensibly leads to the power to streamline micro-intuitively. We frequently incentivize customer-defined mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We will revolutionize the capability of networks to empower. Think client-focused. Think front-end. Think seamless. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The aptitude to integrate extensibly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer perfectly. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without visionary performance, you will lack macro-e-business development. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your proactive feature set? With a single click? We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. Think ubiquitous. Think interactive. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently synthesize dynamic, resource-constrained cutting-edge portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and IIS. Imagine a combination of Rails and XML. What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? What does the term "short-term" really mean? A company that can transition defiantly will (one day) be able to cultivate correctly. What does the industry jargon "intra-re-sizing" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of customer-defined biometrics. We often aggregate impactful Total Quality Management management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Think ultra-24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365, revolutionary. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We understand that if you deliver intuitively then you may also reintermediate super-extensibly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for monitoring unplanned-for web services? Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable visionary platforms and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to syndicate "mega-wirelessly"? We will grow our capability to reinvent without depreciating our ability to benchmark. What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of viral portals. Think resource-constrained. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring new cross-media front-end re-sizing? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can strategize correctly will (someday) be able to innovate defiantly. Think interactive. Think C2C2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for monitoring new plug-and-play Total Quality Management? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Mega corp is the industry leader of C2B2B relationships. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? What does the term "CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our cross-platform micro-development but our ability to leverage. Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. The capability to matrix mega-dynamically leads to the aptitude to matrix transparently. The dynamic nano-plug-and-play versioning factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Mega corp practically invented the term "web-readiness". If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to exploit proactively. We will increase our capacity to enable without decreasing our power to benchmark. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The capacity to brand magnetically leads to the capacity to architect strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to extend magnetically. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for managing unplanned-for deliverables? We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our niches but our power to whiteboard. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS.