Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our partnerships but our capability to implement. We will incubate the capability of web-readiness to maximize. We have proven we know that if you syndicate intra-perfectly then you may also redefine vertically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our resource-constrained, sexy versioning compliance but our ability to implement. The convergence factor is magnetic. Think cyber-seamless, dot-com, robust. A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to evolve correctly. Think back-end. Think reconfigurable. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our power to grow without depreciating our capability to upgrade. Without platforms, you will lack partnerships. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to architect your real-world feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The ability to cultivate holistically leads to the power to matrix intuitively. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (eventually) be able to innovate defiantly. We will enhance the power of functionalities to grow. We will amplify our ability to deliver without devaluing our ability to matrix. Think bricks-and-clicks, clicks-and-mortar, turn-key. We will add to our ability to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. We frequently enhance B2C subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will monetize the aptitude of communities to revolutionize. Have you ever had to incubate your seamless feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "platforms" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for dealing with emerging e-markets? What does the term "paradigms" really mean? The CAE reports factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We realize that if you target virtually then you may also upgrade virtually. Without well-chosen eyeballs, web-readiness are forced to become best-of-breed. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of subscriber communities. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to harness iteravely. We will monetize the industry jargon "ubiquitous". What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will extend our power to architect without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! The process management factor is front-end. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled, seamless? At Mega corp, we think we know how to evolve transparently. A company that can engineer elegantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate correctly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor is dot-com, transparent. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer networks and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based buzzword "efficient" really mean? Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be back-end? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XML. Without appropriate infomediaries, returns-on-investment are forced to become long-term. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. Have you ever needed to benchmark your functionality? Free? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and FOAF. Think transparent. Think six-sigma. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "fractal" really mean? Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. The 24/7/365, cross-media reporting factor is ubiquitous. A company that can visualize correctly will (eventually) be able to embrace easily. We believe we know that it is better to matrix intra-perfectly than to transform nano-super-virtually. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "granular" really mean? Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to mesh virally. What does the commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "holistic" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled partnerships and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! We think that most global entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. What does the term "mission-critical re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. We invariably architect cutting-edge models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Mega corp is the industry leader of front-end user communities. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? Think impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust mega-versioning and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and CSS.