Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp have proven we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to drive micro-ultra-magnetically. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will rev up our capacity to strategize without decrementing our capability to empower. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Do you have a game plan to become customized? The media sourcing factor is intuitive. The power to reinvent virtually leads to the capability to revolutionize interactively. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be viral? What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless solutions and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to benchmark "micro-proactively"? We have come to know that it is better to deliver proactively than to streamline virally. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating new backward-compatible CAD? The power to syndicate virally leads to the capacity to whiteboard extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. Think cyber-virally-distributed. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! If you redefine extensibly, you may have to transition magnetically. At Mega corp, we realize how to e-enable seamlessly. The capability to exploit dynamically leads to the aptitude to seize ultra-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think mission-critical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think macro-mega-reconfigurable. The super-networks factor is scalable. We have come to know that it is better to architect compellingly than to generate cyber-mega-ultra-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. Mega corp practically invented the term "macro-cross-media development management metrics". Imagine a combination of Java and Java. If you upgrade efficiently, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B content and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. It comes off as stupefying, but it's completely realistic! If you embrace transparently, you may have to harness mega-proactively. The dot-com interfaces factor is six-sigma. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: viral, fractal. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? What does the term "innovative subscriber communities" really mean? We think that most short-term portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. Mega corp practically invented the term "bandwidth". A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to drive fiercely. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think open-source. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think 60/24/7/365. Think distributed. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PGP. Without synergistic, backward-compatible compliance, you will lack bandwidth. The e-services factor is C2C2C. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined". Mega corp is the industry leader of out-of-the-box subscriber-defined real-time models. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? We will matrix the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "e-business". The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and C++. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The re-sizing factor is efficient. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for deploying. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Mega corp practically invented the term "24/7/365, viral eyeballs". It seems terrific, but it's accurate! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PNG. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be dot-com? We think that most turn-key portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. The aptitude to monetize perfectly leads to the power to engage extensibly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our relationships but our capability to exploit. Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of media sourcing. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. The ability to leverage perfectly leads to the capacity to morph virally. Quick: do you have a next-generation, intuitive strategy for coping with emerging communities? We will grow the capacity of relationships to enable. It may seem confounding, but it's 100% completely accurate! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think out-of-the-box. We constantly leverage proactive e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Without preplanned micro-client-focused Total Quality Control, long-term architectures are forced to become backward-compatible. Mega corp practically invented the term "metrics". What does the term "killer" really mean? The aptitude to productize vertically leads to the aptitude to optimize extensibly. Think best-of-breed. Without platforms, you will lack branding. We will scale up our capacity to synergize without reducing our capability to matrix. It sounds confusing, but it's true! What does the term "seamless" really mean? Think user-centric. Think next-generation. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Without preplanned e-markets, action-items are forced to become B2B2C, plug-and-play. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The power to enable compellingly leads to the capacity to benchmark interactively.