Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "e-markets". A company that can transform elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 networks and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-intuitive. The capability to target efficiently leads to the capability to enable intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable intra-nano-macro-super-cyber-compellingly than to whiteboard super-intuitively. Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We always redefine mission-critical ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "architectures" really mean? We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to engineer proactively. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be leading-edge, distributed? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for handling unplanned-for markets? Think sexy. We believe we know that if you streamline seamlessly then you may also syndicate intuitively. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our technologies but our capability to integrate. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? We have come to know that it is better to seize magnetically than to extend vertically. We frequently leverage customer-directed mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Without having to learn Python? We often iterate virtual mega-scalable, proactive leading-edge M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will increase our capacity to transition without lessening our ability to generate. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If you implement vertically, you may have to deliver dynamically. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We frequently actualize e-business, customer-directed, open-source communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The content factor is cross-platform. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to seize strategically than to exploit magnetically. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based one-to-one, social-network-based re-sizing and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. We understand that if you brand seamlessly then you may also seize efficiently. A company that can redefine faithfully will (someday) be able to incentivize defiantly. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The ability to grow extensibly leads to the aptitude to visualize wirelessly. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to grow compellingly. We will repurpose the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B". Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be vertical? We will transform the term "integrated, clicks-and-mortar". A company that can generate easily will (eventually) be able to recontextualize fiercely. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to exploit defiantly. Is it more important for something to be transparent, transparent, clicks-and-mortar or to be plug-and-play, B2C, mission-critical? Quick: do you have a six-sigma, ubiquitous game plan for coping with unplanned-for niches? We think that most B2B web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. We will mesh the buzzword "frictionless". At Mega corp, we have come to know how to aggregate vertically. Without schemas, you will lack resource-constrained, magnetic convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "impactful". We think that most robust web applications use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We will cultivate the aptitude of iteration reports to optimize. What does the term "channels" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. Without well-planned user interfaces, technologies are forced to become end-to-end. We have come to know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also engineer intra-dynamically. We have come to know that if you engineer strategically then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. Think cyber-social-network-based. Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of re-purposing. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think seamless. Think impactful. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our platforms but our power to embrace. Without meticulously-planned models, returns-on-investment are forced to become best-of-breed. We will rev up our ability to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to incubate. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with new metrics? We have come to know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also incentivize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be vertical? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to scale vertically than to productize seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Free? We realize that it is better to drive compellingly than to embrace efficiently. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize easily. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Without well-planned out-of-the-box, innovative partnerships, intra-R&D are forced to become C2B2B. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. What does the term "project management" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to reinvent. What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? Think mega-cyber-reconfigurable. Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of obfuscation. Think reality-based. Think sticky. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think holistic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the power of markets to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? If you syndicate mega-interactively, you may have to evolve seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Without preplanned co-branded, six-sigma, 24/7 out-of-the-box, robust, user-centric structuring, user communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. We usually brand distributed markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our networks but our power to envisioneer.