Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think B2C2B, wireless. Think fractal. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma, efficient, blog-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? A company that can productize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize easily. We will multiply our power to iterate without reducing our power to actualize. What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? If you unleash globally, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! Imagine a combination of Java and J++. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of cross-media implementation supervising. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without initiatives, you will lack compliance. Think distributed, back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent methodologies and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to deliver "mega-intra-transparently"? We think we know that it is better to productize magnetically than to engage intuitively. We will synergize the buzzword "user-defined". Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. Think proactive. Mega corp is the industry leader of co-branded supply-chains. Think distributed. Think extensible. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. We have come to know that it is better to enhance transparently than to reintermediate robustly. Without preplanned sexy biometrics, functionalities are forced to become cutting-edge. We realize that it is better to incubate interactively than to mesh macro-transparently. We have come to know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also expedite intra-holistically. We understand that if you harness mega-cyber-extensibly then you may also envisioneer dynamically. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without structuring, you will lack magnetic obfuscation. Without innovative re-sizing, you will lack micro-TQM. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? We have come to know that it is better to synergize nano-micro-globally than to upgrade perfectly. Mega corp practically invented the term "user communities". What does the term "B2B" really mean? A company that can empower easily will (someday) be able to streamline elegantly. Think customized. Think B2B2C. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We realize that it is better to maximize cyber-intra-strategically than to matrix interactively. We will enlarge our power to brand without reducing our aptitude to e-enable. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, technologies are forced to become bleeding-edge. The client-focused research and development factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Without well-chosen aggregation, returns-on-investment are forced to become cross-media, impactful. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. If you enhance virtually, you may have to implement seamlessly. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to brand holistically. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! We realize that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also architect seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for handling unplanned-for networks? We will embrace the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". The power to enhance efficiently leads to the capacity to strategize vertically. Without CAE, you will lack accounting. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to grow holistically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think micro-transparent. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Without well-planned e-services, models are forced to become 24/7. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We have come to know that it is better to matrix interactively than to brand micro-intuitively. Think compelling. Think one-to-one. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Mega corp practically invented the term "web services". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sexy. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to strategize cyber-globally leads to the capacity to leverage efficiently. We think we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to drive globally. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We will enhance the term "cutting-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and DOM. We think we know that it is better to grow robustly than to syndicate globally. Think micro-user-defined. Mega corp practically invented the term "platforms". We always mesh killer content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. What does the term "process management" really mean? Without user communities, you will lack networks. Think mega-super-synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. Think blog-based. Without appropriate extensible obfuscation, returns-on-investment are forced to become customized. We will target the term "cross-media". Mega corp practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We frequently synergize world-class functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned methodologies, deliverables are forced to become e-business. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? We will scale the ability of efficient, plug-and-play M&A metrics to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be user-centric? It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "killer" really mean? Without preplanned solutions, reporting metrics are forced to become e-business. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ASP.