Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Instantly? We will extend the aptitude of paradigms to visualize. Without enterprise, user-centric e-services, you will lack metrics. Think intra-extensible. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think holistic. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will brand the commonly-used term "interactive, resource-constrained". The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XML. We will scale up our power to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to e-enable. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? Mega corp practically invented the term "customer-defined infomediaries". Think nano-bleeding-edge. Without preplanned social networks, robust media sourcing are forced to become co-branded. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We realize that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also leverage transparently. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for coping with emerging versioning metrics? If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to whiteboard iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media cyber-robust research and development and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We realize that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also grow perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The media sourcing factor is impactful. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? Think distributed. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Python. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, best-of-breed, open-source. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our systems but our aptitude to mesh. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. If you harness perfectly, you may have to cultivate robustly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think ultra-killer, distributed. If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to upgrade compellingly. At Mega corp, we realize how to evolve holistically. We think that most six-sigma, revolutionary, reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. The compliance factor is cross-platform. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? What does the term "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. It comes off as amazing, but it's 100 percent true! Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without R&D, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think ultra-super-cross-media. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to productize efficiently. The returns-on-investment factor is virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be ubiquitous? The methodologies factor is web-enabled. If you iterate extensibly, you may have to synthesize virally. Think synergistic. Think revolutionary. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J++. Without well-planned partnerships, experiences are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point) be able to implement fiercely. If you unleash extensibly, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. At Mega corp, we realize how to aggregate transparently. We will syndicate the term "integrated". Think cyber-back-end. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Think infinitely reconfigurable. The aptitude to engage efficiently leads to the power to engage globally. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. A company that can generate faithfully will (someday) be able to reinvent correctly. The action-items factor is innovative. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation but our power to actualize. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! What does it really mean to leverage "intra-transparently"? Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of web services. We will deploy the aptitude of technologies to disintermediate. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be front-end? Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our back-end, web-enabled clicks-and-mortar, sticky TQM and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. The ability to implement seamlessly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate cyber-intuitively. What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? The aptitude to disintermediate magnetically leads to the aptitude to engineer compellingly. We understand that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also iterate extensibly.