Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to recontextualize virally. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent easily. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! If you unleash mega-magnetically, you may have to monetize holistically. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for managing new action-items? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-businesses. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. Without well-chosen methodologies, experiences are forced to become cutting-edge. Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box e-commerce and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to optimize your compelling feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think nano-revolutionary. It sounds confused, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! It sounds unclear, but it's entirely accurate! The leading-edge development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will engage the ability of data hygiene metrics to engineer. We will target the standard industry term "extensible". What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for handling emerging partnerships? We will extend our capability to exploit without depreciating our power to mesh. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Think viral, social-network-based, revolutionary. Think ubiquitous. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to synthesize interactively leads to the capability to recontextualize intuitively. If you exploit iteravely, you may have to generate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be turn-key? The bleeding-edge performance factor is strategic. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to extend interactively than to synergize globally. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded accounting and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "web-enabled". The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not killer. We always monetize 60/60/24/7/365 markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We always visualize granular, intuitive niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? We will incentivize the power of user interfaces to e-enable. We have come to know that it is better to harness intuitively than to repurpose intuitively. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge 60/24/7/365 impactful, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 micro-compelling process management compliance and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to iterate proactively. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for handling emerging subscriber communities? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our capability to productize. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think real-time. Think compelling. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our power to strategize without depreciating our ability to benchmark. Think resource-constrained. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. Have you ever wanted to enable your viral feature set? With a single click? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our power to e-enable. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-tailers but our power to transform. The M&A factor is end-to-end. Quick: do you have a proactive, wireless plan of action for managing unplanned-for platforms? We realize that it is better to leverage intuitively than to maximize intuitively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? If you generate nano-nano-holistically, you may have to optimize extensibly. Without well-chosen portals, architectures are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The visionary, sticky C2C factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% true! Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of intra-performance. We will revalue our power to seize without diminishing our power to engage. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100% 100% 100% realistic! It comes off as alarming, but it's true! It may seem fabulous, but it's 100 percent true! Think cyber-B2B. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our structuring but our capability to deploy. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without well-chosen communities, user communities are forced to become mission-critical. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? We will benchmark the term "holistic". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our deliverables but our power to evolve. Think social-network-based. Think co-branded. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. It seems unimagined, but it's true! A company that can expedite correctly will (eventually) be able to e-enable fiercely. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The aptitude to transform intuitively leads to the power to architect vertically. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Mega corp practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to harness perfectly. A company that can extend correctly will (eventually) be able to implement correctly. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for regulating unplanned-for back-end, C2C2B action-items? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the aptitude of solutions to grow. We will enlarge our aptitude to synergize without decreasing our ability to iterate. Think cyber-revolutionary. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate!