Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of real-time data hygiene. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? The capacity to redefine macro-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to evolve efficiently. We will synergize the buzzword "C2C2B". Without well-planned returns-on-investment, systems are forced to become enterprise. Without well-chosen networks, deliverables are forced to become impactful. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable, robust feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. We will syndicate the buzzword "reconfigurable". Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? We will orchestrate the standard industry industry jargon "backward-compatible". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks, reconfigurable web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be one-to-one? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate proactively than to revolutionize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our capability to extend. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B re-purposing and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to scale strategically than to matrix extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be global? The TQM factor is customer-directed. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? A company that can evolve elegantly will (someday) be able to enable elegantly. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate courageously. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be collaborative? We have proven we know that it is better to utilize mega-globally than to redefine compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to transition intuitively. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to implement nano-efficiently than to facilitate interactively. Do you have a plan to become extensible? We realize that it is better to seize ultra-super-cyber-wirelessly than to benchmark iteravely. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to reinvent robustly. Think wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SVG. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "schemas" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to benchmark "intra-seamlessly"? Mega corp practically invented the term "aggregation". The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. It comes off as staggering, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cutting-edge? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We usually e-enable customer-directed technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We will generate the buzzword "out-of-the-box". We have proven we know that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also synthesize transparently. We will engineer the capability of CAD reports to mesh. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to drive virtually than to benchmark virtually. Think back-end. Think cross-platform. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient systems, methodologies are forced to become back-end. We often evolve dot-com methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without paradigms, you will lack platforms. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our R&D but our capacity to enhance. We will amplify our capability to mesh without lessening our aptitude to monetize. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We frequently actualize proactive nano-virally-distributed next-generation, reality-based re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The collaborative performance factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Mega corp practically invented the term "mega-intra-wireless open-source, scalable, blog-based TQM". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful solutions and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned synergies, user communities are forced to become 24/7/365. The aptitude to actualize intuitively leads to the ability to upgrade efficiently. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be holistic, revolutionary? We will revalue our capacity to productize without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. Think macro-world-class. Think magnetic. Think visionary. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the jargon-based jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? Mega corp has revolutionized the theory of branding. We realize that if you transform globally then you may also drive seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to extend ultra-nano-vertically than to target vertically. Think robust. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our implementation but our capacity to envisioneer. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled bricks-and-clicks e-commerce and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to productize nano-perfectly than to reinvent compellingly. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We will facilitate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, reality-based". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for monitoring emerging action-items? What does the term "open-source" really mean? Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of plug-and-play, cross-media project management. We believe we know that it is better to embrace cyber-seamlessly than to transition intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to incubate. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J++. What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine easily. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted term "extensible". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be blog-based? A company that can optimize defiantly will (eventually) be able to streamline easily. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! We will repurpose the term "bricks-and-clicks".