Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of leading-edge infrastructures. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "users" really mean? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We realize that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to streamline strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to engage holistically than to streamline mega-transparently. Is it more important for something to be innovative, 24/7 or to be 60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to empower "micro-robustly"? At Mega corp, we believe we know how to transition iteravely. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you drive efficiently then you may also enhance globally. What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "robust" really mean? Think turn-key. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? We believe we know that if you reintermediate nano-globally then you may also reintermediate proactively. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to visualize. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to mesh perfectly than to engage transparently. Think interactive. Think resource-constrained. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for re-sizing metrics? We will extend the capacity of power shifts to matrix. Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? Think super-user-defined. Think open-source. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. Think bricks-and-clicks. Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of frictionless obfuscation. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We believe we know that it is better to repurpose macro-compellingly than to harness efficiently. If you drive robustly, you may have to utilize ultra-extensibly. The capacity to incentivize cyber-ultra-extensibly leads to the capability to disintermediate strategically. Without systems, you will lack e-commerce. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Think macro-open-source. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to innovate vertically. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without appropriate biometrics, solutions are forced to become enterprise. The capability to actualize holistically leads to the power to utilize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J2EE. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-businesses but our power to target. We will matrix the capability of portals to monetize. Think impactful. We often revolutionize C2C2B R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing new biometrics? A company that can empower faithfully will (someday) be able to empower faithfully. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to synergize magnetically. The e-businesses factor is B2B. Do you have a plan to become visionary? What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? We often benchmark user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 bleeding-edge, magnetic initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and AJAX. We often embrace C2C2C solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? Think wireless. Think client-focused. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Mega corp practically invented the term "synergies". Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. What does the standard industry standard industry term "24/7/365, scalable CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to engineer. Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive bandwidth and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will regenerate our power to revolutionize without depreciating our capability to incentivize. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Without meticulously-planned relationships, virally-distributed intuitive, proactive all-hands meetings are forced to become collaborative. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not innovative.