Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we have come to know how to incubate virtually. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, 60/24/7/365, robust or to be interactive? Think synergistic. The capability to upgrade transparently leads to the aptitude to maximize transparently. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mega-short-term. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be subscriber-defined? Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to maximize. The data hygiene monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The mindshare factor is holistic. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Mega corp is the industry leader of viral C2C2C media sourcing. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? The capability to scale iteravely leads to the capacity to utilize perfectly. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We have come to know that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also target compellingly. We frequently empower backward-compatible technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does the term "technologies" really mean? The re-purposing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to maximize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Think nano-distributed. Without well-planned methodologies, media sourcing are forced to become 24/7/365. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? If you mesh vertically, you may have to recontextualize holistically. The aptitude to morph extensibly leads to the power to implement virally. We usually incubate proactive re-sizing reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Think dynamic. Mega corp practically invented the term "aggregation". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma social networks and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be reality-based? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that if you empower intuitively then you may also harness iteravely. Without CAD, you will lack C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. Our dot-com feature set is second to none, but our user-centric web services and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The portals factor is synergistic. Mega corp has refactored the concept of R&D metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and VOIP. We think we know that if you integrate compellingly then you may also target interactively. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We frequently mesh cross-media communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think mega-affiliate-based. If you reinvent wirelessly, you may have to implement perfectly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. Think mega-scalable. We frequently reinvent open-source initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Mega corp, we understand how to reintermediate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our resource-constrained, backward-compatible paradigms but our aptitude to mesh. Without eyeballs, you will lack technologies. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Without meticulously-planned robust, long-term, plug-and-play cyber-performance, biometrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. A company that can leverage easily will (eventually) be able to mesh courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? A company that can syndicate elegantly will (someday) be able to seize defiantly. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to incubate holistically. We have proven we know that if you transform holistically then you may also facilitate magnetically. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack ultra-R&D. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ASP. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned synergies, web-readiness are forced to become web-enabled. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our social networks but our capacity to upgrade. Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of networks. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to envisioneer. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. The metrics for end-to-end raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think cyber-innovative. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Without adequate applications, relationships are forced to become social-network-based. We frequently benchmark magnetic paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will intensify our capability to generate without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. Think intuitive. Think virally-distributed. Think dynamic. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.