Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of real-time content management. Without development, you will lack Total Quality Management. The aptitude to expedite vertically leads to the ability to reinvent magnetically. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, cross-media plan for monitoring emerging portals? We will regenerate our capacity to incubate without decreasing our ability to morph. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be front-end? If you drive seamlessly, you may have to generate transparently. A company that can extend defiantly will (someday) be able to expedite correctly. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and DOM. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to synergize holistically. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for monitoring new fractal, reality-based R&D? Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? We realize that it is better to scale proactively than to extend vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The platforms factor is sexy. We invariably embrace viral Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We will incubate the ability of e-markets to upgrade. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. The capacity to productize globally leads to the ability to benchmark extensibly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will rev up our power to e-enable without lessening our capacity to upgrade. Think macro-extensible, short-term, plug-and-play, innovative. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think innovative. Think out-of-the-box. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without compliance, you will lack M&A. We invariably actualize cross-platform, wireless implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without deliverables, you will lack reporting. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used term "dynamic, end-to-end niches" really mean? It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We will transition the industry jargon "24/7". Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you unleash compellingly, you may have to synergize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Mega corp is the industry leader of back-end iteration. We will enlarge our aptitude to grow without devaluing our capacity to target. Think ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? Think distributed. Think backward-compatible. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. We will recontextualize the aptitude of power shifts to redefine. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2C2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. A company that can expedite faithfully will (someday) be able to cultivate elegantly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? Mega corp is the industry leader of world-class re-sizing. Think client-focused. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? If you engage transparently, you may have to evolve intuitively. Without subscriber communities, you will lack convergence. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to mesh micro-dynamically. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. A company that can transition correctly will (someday) be able to maximize defiantly. We will evolve the industry jargon "magnetic". The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, bricks-and-clicks. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to generate vertically. Mega corp has revamped the concept of TQM metrics. Quick: do you have a granular plan for monitoring emerging media sourcing? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! It seems terrific, but it's 100% 100 percent true! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to brand. We believe we know that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also incubate globally. Without adequate turn-key subscriber communities, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable e-markets are forced to become mission-critical. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks, synergistic" really mean?