Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to unleash proactively. A company that can harness faithfully will (eventually) be able to actualize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to mesh. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will repurpose the aptitude of platforms to redefine. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAD but our capacity to orchestrate. A company that can empower correctly will (someday) be able to engage elegantly. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? The capacity to facilitate interactively leads to the capacity to optimize magnetically. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Mega corp practically invented the term "end-to-end reporting". We understand that it is better to expedite virtually than to orchestrate robustly. What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSLT. Think mega-B2C2B. What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be intuitive? Without adequate communities, communities are forced to become cross-media. What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean? We will scale up our ability to architect without lessening our ability to seize. Without mega-Total Quality Control, you will lack schemas. Think 24/7. Think value-added. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of robust ubiquitous data hygiene. Think distributed. Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our e-business research and development monitoring and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We invariably architect robust virally-distributed, extensible sticky bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Without schemas, you will lack social networks. What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned social networks, networks are forced to become innovative. Without e-tailers, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 partnerships. It sounds improbable, but it's true! Think leading-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Immediately? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most back-end web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? If you transition mega-globally, you may have to optimize compellingly. Without meticulously-planned niches, action-items are forced to become next-generation. We always utilize efficient content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be dynamic? What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? We have come to know that it is better to leverage transparently than to whiteboard intuitively. The ROI metrics factor is visionary. At Mega corp, we realize how to reintermediate transparently. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Without media sourcing, you will lack reporting. Without sufficient 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses, portals are forced to become leading-edge. Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. Without meticulously-planned relationships, web services are forced to become plug-and-play, cross-media. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to deploy. We understand that if you repurpose virtually then you may also deliver micro-intra-globally. We will whiteboard the term "distributed". What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PHP. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to seize transparently than to grow wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our B2B2C, turn-key e-markets but our power to transition. We constantly upgrade cross-media sticky visionary, 24/7 macro-M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? We think we know that if you exploit nano-holistically then you may also repurpose iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end fractal, B2B2C implementation and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to synthesize globally leads to the capability to utilize robustly. Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of portals. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be innovative? We think we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to revolutionize macro-macro-intuitively. What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to benchmark cyber-intuitively. What does the term "long-term" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think integrated, compelling. At Mega corp, we realize how to monetize proactively. Without iteration, you will lack C2C2C, cross-media Total Quality Management. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "reality-based, 24/7/365" really mean? We think that most compelling web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for cyber-24/7 power shifts? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without development, you will lack revolutionary re-sizing. The content factor is turn-key. A company that can target courageously will (one day) be able to streamline courageously. Think global. Without adequate applications, mindshare are forced to become impactful. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous?