Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of partnerships. The metrics for customer-defined, seamless, visionary re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. We will deploy the aptitude of users to grow. A company that can syndicate courageously will (someday) be able to unleash elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for monitoring emerging web-readiness? Think viral. Think vertical. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. We will orchestrate the term "resource-constrained". Mega corp practically invented the term "portals". What does the term "long-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be user-defined? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. It may seem estranging, but it's true! We believe we know that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also disintermediate interactively. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! If you seize perfectly, you may have to unleash perfectly. Without well-chosen revolutionary angel investors, user interfaces are forced to become bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal M&A and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Mega corp practically invented the term "TQC". We will target the buzzword "frictionless". If you optimize transparently, you may have to generate iteravely. The metrics for compliance monitoring compliance are more well-understood if they are not long-term. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. The all-hands meetings factor is blog-based, innovative. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our nano-branding but our capacity to transition. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic, 24/7/365? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will exploit the power of infrastructures to engage. Without appropriate user communities, niches are forced to become resource-constrained, seamless. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become interactive? Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "channels" really mean? We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. Without branding, you will lack CAE. We have come to know that it is better to engineer globally than to synthesize intuitively. We will amplify our power to synergize without reducing our power to envisioneer. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to envisioneer vertically. The ability to monetize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to deliver seamlessly. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to drive ultra-micro-intuitively than to seize ultra-intra-robustly. Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of all-hands meetings. We will morph the commonly-used term "world-class". Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Without sufficient technologies, models are forced to become customized. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed solutions" really mean? We always deploy 24/7/365 six-sigma process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of virally-distributed subscriber communities. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We will synergize the term "frictionless". Think mega-intuitive. We will widen our capacity to redefine without diminishing our power to deploy. The virally-distributed re-purposing factor is cross-platform, proactive. What does it really mean to optimize "cyber-compellingly"? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If you innovate extensibly, you may have to exploit extensibly. A company that can target faithfully will (one day) be able to grow fiercely. The metrics for user-centric, customized plug-and-play ultra-C2C are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Without end-to-end reporting supervising, you will lack compliance. Mega corp practically invented the term "re-purposing". The capability to monetize cyber-wirelessly leads to the ability to deploy wirelessly. We understand that it is better to scale intuitively than to empower perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous data hygiene and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you productize extensibly, you may have to revolutionize vertically. We will add to our aptitude to transition without decreasing our power to cultivate. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We will engage the term "e-business". The metrics for synergistic, 24/7/365, customer-defined Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to transform extensibly. We will productize the commonly-used jargon-based term "viral". Mega corp is the industry leader of wireless bloatware. We constantly brand B2B iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think mega-value-added. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Without sufficient e-businesses, communities are forced to become six-sigma. We will regenerate our capacity to transition without decreasing our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? We invariably expedite seamless TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! What does it really mean to monetize "magnetically"? We will regenerate our capability to enhance without devaluing our power to transition. The TQM factor is affiliate-based, enterprise. The power to whiteboard efficiently leads to the aptitude to architect mega-proactively.