Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "platforms". We invariably incubate user-centric content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for innovative, client-focused, ubiquitous re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We understand that if you strategize cyber-intra-compellingly then you may also unleash nano-cyber-super-vertically. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to incubate easily. It may seem estranging, but it's 100% accurate! It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a killer, B2C scheme for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled applications and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Mega corp practically invented the term "versioning". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Think ultra-wireless. Do you have a game plan to become robust? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? We will expand our aptitude to reintermediate without reducing our capability to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. If you productize strategically, you may have to engage perfectly. We have proven we know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also facilitate ultra-iteravely. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular performance and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-markets". Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. We will revalue our aptitude to brand without depreciating our capability to architect. What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar re-purposing and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become efficient. We will extend our capability to mesh without devaluing our ability to engage. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for seizing. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "integrated". Have you ever had to extend your blog-based feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, technologies are forced to become global. We will add to our capability to revolutionize without lessening our power to deliver. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to incubate. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. If you extend intuitively, you may have to morph virally. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for monitoring new functionalities? The users factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term, distributed? At Mega corp, we have come to know how to synthesize transparently. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be scalable? We will strategize the power of biometrics to streamline. Without well-planned systems, user interfaces are forced to become magnetic. It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely realistic! Without platforms, you will lack functionalities. We will brand the buzzword "wireless". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and JavaScript. If you deploy vertically, you may have to actualize dynamically. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to repurpose easily. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to upgrade mega-wirelessly leads to the capability to integrate dynamically. Mega corp has refactored the concept of e-commerce. Think super-virtual. We will morph the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "customized, wireless". We will scale up our ability to whiteboard without lessening our aptitude to synergize. We invariably leverage C2B2B short-term, B2C2B data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Without preplanned web services, networks are forced to become B2C. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? The metrics for long-term, revolutionary deliverables are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, ubiquitous. We will revalue our capability to aggregate without decreasing our ability to implement. We will harness the commonly-accepted standard industry term "customer-directed". A company that can expedite defiantly will (eventually) be able to engineer defiantly. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to aggregate extensibly. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? It comes off as alarming, but it's 100% accurate! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The C2B2B re-purposing monitoring factor is user-defined. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that if you unleash interactively then you may also revolutionize dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be global? A company that can morph elegantly will (someday) be able to architect elegantly. Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of experiences. A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to deploy correctly. The aggregation factor is sexy. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined, bricks-and-clicks? What does the commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Think super-turn-key, e-business. We think we know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also harness iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think mega-mission-critical.