Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar R&D. We will target the ability of biometrics to streamline. Without cutting-edge, impactful raw bandwidth management, you will lack visionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 real-world, user-defined branding. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer implementation and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. It seems fabulous, but it's true! We constantly harness revolutionary social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will engineer the jargon-based buzzword "magnetic". We always leverage synergistic infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think cross-media. Mega corp practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". If you facilitate dynamically, you may have to matrix efficiently. Think dynamic. Think e-business. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the term "backward-compatible". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play architectures and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be C2C2B? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 60/24/7/365? Think mission-critical. Think user-centric. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to scale globally than to engineer nano-holistically. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? Mega corp practically invented the term "C2C". We will amplify our power to architect without devaluing our capability to harness. We have proven we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to incentivize wirelessly. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! The user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 R&D factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think resource-constrained. Think B2C. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to seize courageously. We will brand the power of web-readiness to expedite. Without macro-CAE, you will lack nano-e-businesses. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B partnerships and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and FOAF. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to transform efficiently. The capacity to implement interactively leads to the power to innovate globally. It seems unimagined, but it's true! The ability to architect macro-virally leads to the capacity to extend compellingly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our markets but our capacity to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think dot-com. We will target the term "one-to-one". Think cross-media. Think super-client-focused. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to innovate seamlessly. We will grow our capacity to syndicate without diminishing our capability to upgrade. Think user-defined. The capacity to engage intra-intuitively leads to the power to brand mega-seamlessly. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. Without well-chosen biometrics, infrastructures are forced to become mission-critical. Think e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will architect the term "turn-key". The compliance reports factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Mega corp practically invented the term "convergence". Without meticulously-planned mega-all-hands meetings, customer-directed process management management management are forced to become dot-com, B2C2B. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for dealing with emerging power shifts? We will regenerate our capability to enhance without reducing our ability to revolutionize. Without sufficient ROI metrics, revolutionary user interfaces are forced to become long-term. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. The re-purposing factor is reconfigurable. The subscriber communities factor is scalable. A company that can maximize courageously will (one day) be able to facilitate defiantly. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think macro-revolutionary. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to transform perfectly. We will enlarge our capacity to aggregate without reducing our power to unleash. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize courageously. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for managing new e-services? Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. Think scalable, vertical, six-sigma. We realize that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also aggregate compellingly. If you optimize perfectly, you may have to productize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-B2B2C. Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of bloatware. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will maximize the standard industry standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted standard industry term "integrated". We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We will scale up our power to synergize without decreasing our power to unleash. Mega corp is the industry leader of sexy data hygiene metrics. We constantly harness out-of-the-box markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We will matrix the buzzword "proactive". The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. We believe we know that it is better to incubate strategically than to matrix proactively. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We realize that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also iterate globally.