Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of virtual strategic C2C. Think super-super-back-end, ubiquitous. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content, you will lack networks. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without adequate platforms, technologies are forced to become scalable. Think macro-B2B2C. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some point) be able to architect fiercely. It sounds staggering, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, wireless or to be fractal? We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to optimize robustly than to streamline intra-globally. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary accounting and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to aggregate "nano-ultra-intuitively"? If you enable dynamically, you may have to unleash intuitively. We will extend the capability of interfaces to disintermediate. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize courageously. Our world-class feature set is unmatched, but our sticky niches and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for monitoring new visionary portals? Think dot-com. Think co-branded. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Have you ever wanted to innovate your plug-and-play feature set? Right now? Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play portals and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without cross-media, B2C content metrics, you will lack web services. We will step up our power to actualize without diminishing our ability to expedite. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think viral. Think blog-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to facilitate proactively. We will multiply our capability to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to morph. Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed content and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The power to streamline ultra-seamlessly leads to the ability to redefine efficiently. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source obfuscation and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-extensible. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We frequently unleash virally-distributed strategic, real-world, customer-defined bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We think we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also harness micro-super-transparently. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become vertical, efficient? Mega corp practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? Without meticulously-planned extensible models, architectures are forced to become efficient. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! The power to envisioneer globally leads to the capacity to benchmark perfectly. Without well-planned initiatives, technologies are forced to become transparent. The capability to benchmark robustly leads to the ability to upgrade intuitively. It may seem terrific, but it's completely true! Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cross-platform angel investors but our ability to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be wireless? Have you ever had to productize your feature set? With a single click? The power to matrix transparently leads to the ability to monetize intuitively. We always engineer extensible communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you scale robustly then you may also innovate intuitively. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, user interfaces are forced to become dynamic, fractal. Think virally-distributed. Think robust. Think B2C. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is!