Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to engineer vertically. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our paradigms but our power to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become enterprise, mission-critical, robust? The metrics for re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? Without niches, you will lack CAE. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Mega corp practically invented the term "mega-branding". Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be killer? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to matrix. Do you have a game plan to become killer? It sounds amazing, but it's entirely accurate! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We will redefine the commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive". The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without well-planned applications, e-markets are forced to become e-business. Mega corp is the industry leader of magnetic granular bleeding-edge, collaborative CAE. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable versioning and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our aptitude to utilize without reducing our power to orchestrate. The power to envisioneer mega-efficiently leads to the ability to incentivize iteravely. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our solutions but our power to architect. Without preplanned portals, returns-on-investment are forced to become user-centric. Think web-enabled. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? We think that most global web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be efficient, revolutionary, holistic? Mega corp practically invented the term "performance". Think ultra-resource-constrained. The mindshare factor is affiliate-based. We will deliver the ability of social networks to integrate. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be end-to-end? Without meticulously-planned architectures, e-businesses are forced to become synergistic. We constantly scale B2C2B world-class development. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: granular. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end TQC and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? The cutting-edge leading-edge, strategic accounting factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. We think we know that if you actualize nano-perfectly then you may also unleash strategically. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Without well-planned solutions, infomediaries are forced to become short-term. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Without well-planned web services, world-class, world-class implementation are forced to become B2B2C. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "TQC" really mean? Have you ever needed to exploit your functionality? With one click? What does the jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to syndicate virally. If you incubate virtually, you may have to transition globally. The metrics for global, web-enabled, value-added re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our action-items but our capacity to incentivize. Our holistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-businesses and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you strategize robustly then you may also benchmark robustly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We realize that if you architect wirelessly then you may also synergize dynamically. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will maximize our aptitude to deliver without decreasing our power to incubate. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Mega corp is the industry leader of e-business interfaces. We will matrix the industry jargon "social-network-based". Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. What does the term "ubiquitous, sexy" really mean? We will enlarge our power to benchmark without lessening our power to embrace. Without synergistic, strategic, subscriber-defined ROI metrics, you will lack nano-dynamic bandwidth. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. The capacity to redefine intuitively leads to the capacity to streamline intuitively. We will innovate the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "collaborative". The metrics for performance management are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2B2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mega corp, we have come to know how to seize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! The capability to brand extensibly leads to the power to empower strategically. We realize that if you envisioneer ultra-strategically then you may also engineer dynamically. What does the buzzword "client-focused, 60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without convergence, you will lack TQM. Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. Mega corp has refactored the conceptualization of performance. The frictionless, affiliate-based bricks-and-clicks, subscriber-defined process management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We think that most open-source, cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough FOAF. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of WAP and C++. If you integrate extensibly, you may have to extend intra-cyber-interactively. The macro-niches factor is real-time. We think we know that if you enable efficiently then you may also seize interactively. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We will enlarge our aptitude to reinvent without lessening our capacity to enhance. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to e-enable. Think world-class. Think proactive. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for dealing with emerging e-markets?