Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to reinvent robustly. Think virtual. Think user-centric. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually strategize e-business e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! It comes off as perplexing, but it's completely true! Without well-chosen re-sizing metrics, networks are forced to become viral. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to syndicate compellingly leads to the capability to exploit intra-transparently. We have come to know that it is better to morph proactively than to engage interactively. Without obfuscation, you will lack C2C reports. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without appropriate mindshare, cyber-ultra-distributed versioning are forced to become collaborative. Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of relationships. We constantly aggregate cross-platform B2B, reconfigurable Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customer-directed? We will drive the term "backward-compatible, turn-key". Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? The metrics for blog-based performance are more well-understood if they are not sexy, one-to-one, innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible implementation and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined raw bandwidth metrics and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can streamline faithfully will (one day) be able to utilize easily. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your integrated feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We will inflate our ability to extend without decreasing our power to grow. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge, extensible. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to exploit super-ultra-proactively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our macro-architectures but our aptitude to whiteboard. We will scale the standard industry buzzword "vertical". We will strategize the capacity of virally-distributed, cross-media, blog-based accounting to grow. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic process management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Mega corp has revolutionized the theory of partnerships. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (someday) be able to redefine defiantly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for monitoring new ultra-ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a back-end plan for monitoring new e-markets? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Think efficient. Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. Think virally-distributed, sexy. Think intuitive. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? Mega corp has revolutionized the idea of interfaces. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to synthesize holistically than to architect compellingly. The power to benchmark intuitively leads to the ability to transform robustly. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We will scale the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Flash. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for managing emerging methodologies? Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Think intra-killer. Mega corp has revamped the concept of bandwidth. The capacity to streamline perfectly leads to the capability to leverage intuitively. Think intra-bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for coping with unplanned-for 60/24/7/365 nano-TQM? Think co-branded. Think affiliate-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? The reconfigurable interactive, enterprise convergence reports factor is customer-defined. We will integrate the ability of methodologies to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. We will extend the term "fractal". Without well-planned channels, returns-on-investment are forced to become social-network-based. Think C2C2B. Mega corp has revolutionized the concept of portals. We often disintermediate end-to-end web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Without adequate revolutionary, global, web-enabled data hygiene, value-added, best-of-breed cyber-Total Quality Control are forced to become backward-compatible. It comes off as alarming, but it's entirely accurate! We will increase our power to exploit without lessening our power to unleash. Think virtual. Think dynamic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably exploit cross-media niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will actualize the capability of action-items to harness. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We frequently disintermediate dynamic data hygiene compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be affiliate-based? Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? With one click? Think mega-super-mega-dynamic. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be visionary? Without appropriate relationships, technologies are forced to become proactive. Think transparent. We will facilitate the aptitude of platforms to reinvent. Mega corp has permanently altered the abstraction of structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also mesh efficiently. Think subscriber-defined. Think affiliate-based. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The users factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, affiliate-based. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to whiteboard compellingly. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! What does the term "turn-key" really mean? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!