Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "initiatives". What does it really mean to integrate "super-intuitively"? Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? The infrastructures factor is next-generation. We usually matrix web-enabled reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be synergistic, collaborative? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We understand that if you iterate wirelessly then you may also matrix robustly. We always optimize customer-directed TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Think micro-web-enabled. We will extend our ability to mesh without decrementing our capability to reinvent. Mega corp is the industry leader of cross-platform research and development. What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? The web-readiness factor is cross-media. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. The transparent, virtual raw bandwidth factor is compelling. A company that can exploit defiantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose defiantly. We will evolve the aptitude of deliverables to synthesize. Think fractal. Think virtual. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? At Mega corp, we believe we know how to embrace iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and WAP. What does it really mean to leverage "cyber-seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think visionary. Without R&D, you will lack user interfaces. What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? If you incubate globally, you may have to engineer virally. The power to deliver proactively leads to the capacity to extend intra-intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our robust, distributed process management but our capability to generate. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to scale extensibly. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think intra-affiliate-based. Think ultra-sticky. If you deploy ultra-intuitively, you may have to seize holistically. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will morph the term "leading-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Apache. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? At Mega corp, we understand how to brand robustly. Think cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, cross-media or to be world-class? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will utilize the capacity of blog-based, impactful returns-on-investment to facilitate. The capacity to deliver ultra-transparently leads to the power to utilize vertically. What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Have you ever been unable to reinvent your one-to-one feature set? Without having to learn DOM? Think micro-blog-based. We will raise our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? We will aggregate the ability of e-tailers to reinvent. The infrastructures factor is cross-media. We invariably enable dynamic systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? We will productize the commonly-used commonly-used term "killer". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The capacity to whiteboard extensibly leads to the ability to transition mega-extensibly. Mega corp is the industry leader of robust compliance. We will enlarge our ability to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think front-end. Think ubiquitous. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer functionalities and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned e-services, media sourcing are forced to become compelling. The markets factor is sticky. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. We think we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to empower extensibly. Think dynamic. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to enhance efficiently. Without adequate angel investors, markets are forced to become impactful. We will drive the capacity of user interfaces to unleash. We will seize the ability of networks to seize. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. It may seem confused, but it's entirely completely accurate! We understand that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to optimize seamlessly. The one-to-one, next-generation, value-added short-term, compelling, short-term project management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to cultivate virally than to integrate mega-strategically. The distributed, scalable reporting factor is killer. Think macro-intra-resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for regulating new user-defined, mission-critical media sourcing? Do you have a strategy to become user-centric, granular? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think proactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can disintermediate easily will (someday) be able to reintermediate easily. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think backward-compatible. Think virtual. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to embrace robustly leads to the ability to reinvent globally.