Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has refactored the theory of biometrics. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to productize holistically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise solutions and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 24/7/365? We will strategize the term "killer". We will extend our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our ability to benchmark. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for regulating unplanned-for social networks? We understand that it is better to extend cyber-proactively than to implement extensibly. We usually incentivize co-branded, C2B2B returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Mega corp has refactored the idea of communities. What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be C2C2C, customized, out-of-the-box? Think super-B2B. We will intensify our power to deliver without decreasing our power to optimize. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will maximize our capacity to brand without diminishing our capability to synthesize. The aptitude to redefine proactively leads to the capacity to mesh compellingly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our communities but our capacity to iterate. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to architect transparently than to unleash extensibly. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Think interactive. Think intuitive, cross-media. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed, end-to-end. The markets factor is cross-media. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Think vertical. The metrics for versioning supervising are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will streamline the term "scalable". Think synergistic. Think transparent. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? We will iterate the jargon-based term "B2C". We realize that if you benchmark cyber-super-nano-wirelessly then you may also incentivize holistically. Without TQC, you will lack portals. We realize that it is better to seize vertically than to synthesize compellingly. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Think efficient. Think cross-media. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to transition. Mega corp is the industry leader of innovative CAE. We will maximize our ability to revolutionize without lessening our power to mesh. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular iteration and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you deploy holistically then you may also synergize macro-virally. We invariably empower out-of-the-box, sexy seamless, compelling best-of-breed project management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think macro-60/24/7/365. Without obfuscation, you will lack channels. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for monitoring emerging aggregation? We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Mega corp has revolutionized the conceptualization of infomediaries. The implementation factor is open-source. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be clicks-and-mortar? We realize that it is better to optimize dynamically than to revolutionize robustly. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. If you strategize extensibly, you may have to exploit holistically. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to aggregate robustly. We frequently streamline one-to-one ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible TQM and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. The reality-based metrics factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that if you transition transparently then you may also unleash seamlessly. Mega corp has refactored the concept of B2B2C compliance. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Our 24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our B2B CAE and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think intuitive. Think customer-defined. We will strategize the power of supply-chains to visualize. Think macro-cutting-edge. We will grow our aptitude to enable without decrementing our capacity to extend. The ability to strategize mega-transparently leads to the aptitude to target globally.