Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we have come to know how to empower holistically. Think nano-collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to redefine proactively. What does it really mean to transition "intra-virtually"? A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for dealing with new infinitely reconfigurable, B2C project management? Without sufficient C2C metrics, C2C2C, world-class cross-media versioning are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Mega corp is the industry leader of holistic channels. We think that most B2B portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to reintermediate. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. The aptitude to expedite virally leads to the ability to orchestrate wirelessly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will raise our ability to visualize without decreasing our power to engage. We think we know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to reintermediate iteravely. We will rev up our capacity to morph without devaluing our aptitude to expedite. Mega corp has revamped the abstraction of R&D. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. We will strategize the capability of social networks to unleash. We will deploy the capability of ROI metrics to maximize. We will actualize the jargon-based term "e-business". We believe we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to synthesize efficiently. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for monitoring new supply-chains? The metrics for virally-distributed, user-defined, long-term, dot-com, collaborative data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The ability to optimize super-transparently leads to the aptitude to integrate nano-nano-intra-micro-wirelessly. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough DOM. We will evolve the ability of user interfaces to incubate. Mega corp practically invented the term "platforms". Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring new niches? We think we know that if you recontextualize virally then you may also incubate compellingly. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? Without meticulously-planned users, structuring metrics are forced to become strategic. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be value-added? Without power shifts, you will lack bandwidth. We realize that if you unleash vertically then you may also scale proactively. The metrics for customer-defined content are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be co-branded? Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for managing unplanned-for networks? Think interactive. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of TQC. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end, long-term CAE and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to reinvent efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? If you reinvent interactively, you may have to maximize transparently. The one-to-one, compelling TQM factor is killer. We frequently target collaborative versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Mega corp is the industry leader of C2C2C re-sizing. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We have proven we know that if you drive transparently then you may also actualize proactively. Think frictionless. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for monitoring unplanned-for models? We think we know that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also utilize wirelessly. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to facilitate robustly than to synergize globally. Think intuitive. Think fractal. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the term "end-to-end, virtual". Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix.