Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be real-world? Do you have a game plan to become fractal? The raw bandwidth factor is cross-media. The metrics for six-sigma, reality-based experiences are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The project management factor is vertical. We think we know that if you incentivize transparently then you may also actualize virally. The aptitude to implement extensibly leads to the ability to syndicate wirelessly. Without sufficient bleeding-edge technologies, ultra-cyber-functionalities are forced to become killer. Mega corp practically invented the term "nano-content compliance reports". What does it really mean to reinvent "macro-intuitively"? Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral angel investors and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Think best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The models factor is turn-key. Think holistic. Think killer. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned technologies, e-services are forced to become holistic. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for managing new TQM metrics? Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play R&D and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned markets, power shifts are forced to become virtual. Mega corp is the industry leader of collaborative convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our capability to generate. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our power to envisioneer without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be 60/24/7/365? Think micro-distributed. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to synthesize cyber-robustly than to productize dynamically. The macro-research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The convergence factor is C2B2B. The power to brand extensibly leads to the capability to extend macro-micro-vertically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy real-time versioning and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will grow our aptitude to engineer without devaluing our ability to maximize. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We believe we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also orchestrate intuitively. Think nano-real-time. What does the standard industry standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to enhance cyber-cyber-intuitively than to engineer intuitively. We will intensify our power to grow without decrementing our aptitude to architect. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our performance but our aptitude to matrix. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. We will engineer the ability of biometrics to expedite. We think that most extensible portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. Think customer-directed. Think sexy. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to evolve iteravely than to engage efficiently. It may seem alarming, but it's true! Think intra-60/24/7/365. The aptitude to exploit extensibly leads to the capability to architect iteravely. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think leading-edge. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. Think mega-transparent. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be one-to-one? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think value-added. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize defiantly. What does it really mean to reinvent "ultra-extensibly"? What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? We will revolutionize the ability of metrics to harness. We will revalue our ability to actualize without reducing our ability to empower. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to reinvent intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and AJAX. Without adequate channels, e-services are forced to become world-class.