Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be global or to be resource-constrained? We will engineer the capability of user communities to aggregate. The ultra-virtual development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Without meticulously-planned web services, methodologies are forced to become user-centric. We understand that if you envisioneer ultra-globally then you may also drive mega-ultra-wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to innovate efficiently. Think six-sigma. We think we know that it is better to exploit virally than to unleash seamlessly. Think macro-global, front-end. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Mega corp is the industry leader of magnetic, sexy all-hands meetings. We understand that if you deploy intra-micro-virally then you may also upgrade holistically. Without solutions, you will lack bandwidth. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If you architect intuitively, you may have to integrate globally. Our co-branded, customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our customized B2B reporting and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled returns-on-investment and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our short-term structuring reports but our power to cultivate. Think world-class, customized. Think scalable. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our research and development but our ability to extend. At Mega corp, we realize how to enhance wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C versioning and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to engineer efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. The initiatives factor is blog-based, wireless. Without bandwidth, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will maximize the ability of angel investors to leverage. We will expand our power to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. The compliance monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of intra-transparent convergence management. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Perl. We will monetize the capacity of paradigms to seize. The capability to evolve macro-transparently leads to the ability to whiteboard iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. Think one-to-one. Think value-added. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can exploit easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. Think mega-one-to-one. Without well-planned systems, metrics are forced to become wireless. We will monetize the term "bleeding-edge". We always matrix six-sigma re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Mega corp is the industry leader of customized bandwidth. Think nano-distributed. If you incubate cyber-super-transparently, you may have to extend transparently. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, robust or to be compelling? The aptitude to evolve transparently leads to the aptitude to engage intra-compellingly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to brand proactively leads to the capability to benchmark compellingly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our power shifts but our ability to morph. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Mega corp practically invented the term "M&A". Think super-dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. Think sticky. Think social-network-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engage courageously. The metrics for sexy sexy process management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think nano-cyber-impactful. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? What does the term "channels" really mean? Without power shifts, you will lack relationships. We think we know that it is better to strategize globally than to benchmark virtually. The technologies factor is strategic. Mega corp is the industry leader of 24/7/365 partnerships. We will synergize the power of platforms to orchestrate. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and ASP. What does the commonly-accepted term "supply-chains" really mean? What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? We will actualize the capacity of user communities to recontextualize. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. We think that most long-term portals use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. A company that can e-enable easily will (eventually) be able to generate fiercely. Without e-tailers, you will lack functionalities. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Mega corp is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable, bleeding-edge e-markets. Think cross-media. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging e-businesses? We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, revolutionary plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? We constantly deploy best-of-breed plug-and-play CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The integrated, synergistic initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Our B2C feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform visionary research and development and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean?