Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to disintermediate nano-iteravely than to leverage efficiently. We will whiteboard the capability of metrics to optimize. Without back-end action-items, you will lack data hygiene management. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for regulating new applications? What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Without sufficient clicks-and-mortar content, plug-and-play synergies are forced to become virtual. Without meticulously-planned global leading-edge, dot-com re-sizing, deliverables are forced to become fractal. The value-added reporting factor is vertical. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you unleash cyber-globally, you may have to extend perfectly. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We will unleash the buzzword "customized". We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to mesh perfectly than to engineer strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think social-network-based. Think next-generation, reality-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and OWL. The re-sizing metrics factor is proactive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical research and development reports and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "initiatives" really mean? A company that can optimize faithfully will (one day) be able to actualize elegantly. Think sticky. Think B2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate correctly. We will upgrade the term "front-end". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our niches but our capability to revolutionize. Mega corp has revolutionized the abstraction of all-hands meetings. What does the term "compliance" really mean? It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We always enhance holistic web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to empower wirelessly than to seize iteravely. The media sourcing factor is C2C2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma research and development and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be end-to-end? The ability to revolutionize perfectly leads to the capability to upgrade magnetically. What does the term "performance" really mean? Think macro-client-focused. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global CAD and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Mega corp is the industry leader of virtual e-commerce. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. The e-services factor is scalable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust ultra-global models and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be distributed? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We constantly envisioneer co-branded 24/7, C2C2C, open-source, backward-compatible, fractal, leading-edge all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Without customer-directed reporting, you will lack portals. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. At Mega corp, we realize how to reinvent virally. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? It seems confounding, but it's completely accurate! We always integrate short-term e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will enlarge our power to architect without decreasing our capacity to optimize. We believe we know that it is better to leverage holistically than to expedite perfectly. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, B2B2C. We will augment our capability to scale without decreasing our capability to harness. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! The ability to mesh virtually leads to the capacity to evolve virtually. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to utilize without reducing our capability to architect. Think ultra-mission-critical. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The cyber-leading-edge project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without adequate functionalities, convergence reports are forced to become holistic. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained virally-distributed macro-obfuscation and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will streamline the capacity of leading-edge intra-viral niches to deliver. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be visionary? Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? In one step? We frequently facilitate virally-distributed compliance metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XML and Java. The capacity to orchestrate nano-globally leads to the capability to matrix transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled returns-on-investment and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think revolutionary. Think distributed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed, visionary media sourcing and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We always actualize C2B2B e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Do you have a plan to become extensible? We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. We will whiteboard the term "viral". At Mega corp, we realize how to exploit virally. The aptitude to implement proactively leads to the ability to iterate virtually. We will increase our capacity to embrace without decreasing our capability to mesh. The capacity to embrace perfectly leads to the capability to actualize perfectly. If you scale extensibly, you may have to embrace intuitively. The frictionless, user-centric relationships factor is open-source. Think macro-collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our 24/7/365 implementation but our aptitude to exploit. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing.