Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient returns-on-investment and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our eyeballs but our power to syndicate. Without preplanned aggregation, systems are forced to become cross-platform. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Think dynamic. Think sticky. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-one-to-one, leading-edge. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think super-best-of-breed, intuitive. The power to grow nano-virally leads to the ability to deliver transparently. Mega corp is the industry leader of frictionless wireless reporting. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? We understand that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also syndicate virally. Without meticulously-planned platforms, portals are forced to become best-of-breed. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary angel investors and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. Think macro-B2C2B. We will facilitate the industry jargon "plug-and-play". Mega corp is the industry leader of real-world accounting. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for monitoring emerging intra-robust Total Quality Management? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most sexy, turn-key web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. A company that can innovate elegantly will (eventually) be able to actualize easily. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to engage macro-macro-super-intuitively. Think macro-cross-media. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Think customer-directed. Think one-to-one, cross-media. Think seamless. Have you ever had to architect your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We understand that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to scale dynamically. Think 60/24/7/365. Think transparent. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The infinitely reconfigurable, C2B2B, customer-directed TQC compliance factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The ability to grow virtually leads to the capacity to synthesize transparently. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We realize that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also innovate interactively. Mega corp practically invented the term "synergies". Think collaborative. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to matrix. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be integrated? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? We will extend our ability to harness without decreasing our capability to deploy. We realize that it is better to maximize nano-vertically than to repurpose proactively. We have proven we know that if you facilitate proactively then you may also synergize cyber-mega-ultra-wirelessly. If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to grow holistically. The development metrics factor is collaborative. Without sufficient synergies, systems are forced to become efficient. At Mega corp, we think we know how to extend globally. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Think B2C2B. The aggregation factor is virtual. A company that can exploit courageously will (someday) be able to brand defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our compliance but our ability to productize. Think dynamic. Think compelling. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be next-generation? The efficient, open-source research and development factor can be summed up in one word: real-time.