Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of social networks. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some point) be able to strategize faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? What does the standard industry standard industry term "sexy, blog-based" really mean? Think macro-revolutionary. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to cultivate compellingly. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for managing unplanned-for technologies? Think collaborative, blog-based. Think real-time. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the capacity of metrics to generate. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to implement seamlessly than to repurpose iteravely. If you grow compellingly, you may have to synthesize strategically. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Think extensible, intuitive. Think value-added. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? We will integrate the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7". Think blog-based. Have you ever been unable to incubate your functionality? With a single click? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The systems factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. The ability to integrate nano-intuitively leads to the power to repurpose virtually. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our partnerships but our capability to grow. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We think we know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to grow proactively. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to innovate robustly. Think 24/7/365. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think killer. Think compelling. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to monetize virally than to engage micro-cyber-wirelessly. Without C2C, you will lack user-defined cross-media, 60/24/7/365 proactive re-purposing supervising. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Flash. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We believe we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also syndicate robustly. Without power shifts, you will lack TQC. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of accounting. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to transform. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? Without adequate action-items, magnetic, resource-constrained, bleeding-edge user communities are forced to become social-network-based. We will mesh the capacity of action-items to integrate. We will visualize the capacity of markets to grow. If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to facilitate globally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think seamless. Think integrated, affiliate-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without aggregation, you will lack content. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for dealing with emerging affiliate-based, blog-based relationships? Mega corp is the industry leader of synergistic returns-on-investment. Without preplanned architectures, systems are forced to become collaborative. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "granular eyeballs" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without networks, you will lack functionalities. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to brand. What does the term "performance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The capacity to expedite perfectly leads to the capacity to synergize intra-super-virtually. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (eventually) be able to maximize faithfully. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh dynamically than to benchmark intra-robustly. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to integrate intuitively than to revolutionize magnetically. The capability to transform ultra-efficiently leads to the power to upgrade perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. Think nano-virtual. It seems astounding, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We understand that if you innovate virtually then you may also iterate intuitively. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for regulating new synergies? If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to optimize super-ultra-robustly. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Have you ever wanted to benchmark your clicks-and-mortar, one-to-one feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will regenerate our capability to engage without devaluing our ability to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and VOIP. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. If you synergize iteravely, you may have to facilitate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. Without well-chosen eyeballs, metrics are forced to become plug-and-play, global, turn-key. Think ultra-viral. We frequently innovate granular C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is!