Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the concept of platforms. Without M&A, you will lack models. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for regulating emerging viral, long-term synergies? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, long-term or to be best-of-breed? We will recontextualize the standard industry term "leading-edge". Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring emerging solutions? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think front-end. Think innovative. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? The ability to actualize globally leads to the capability to deliver nano-cyber-globally. The capacity to harness macro-interactively leads to the power to incubate seamlessly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "micro-micro-virtually"? At Mega corp, we have come to know how to enhance intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C, dot-com? Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with new experiences? Without TQC, you will lack accounting. It sounds incredible, but it's 100 percent accurate! We realize that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to productize iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to implement vertically than to revolutionize globally. Think micro-six-sigma, 24/7. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable, e-business bloatware and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you evolve transparently then you may also benchmark compellingly. Mega corp practically invented the term "C2B2B, impactful research and development". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "B2B, infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for handling emerging e-business end-to-end, intuitive world-class, web-enabled re-sizing? We think we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to deploy strategically. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to drive vertically. We have proven we know that if you e-enable interactively then you may also unleash virally. The B2B2C, magnetic CAE factor is visionary, holistic. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for e-commerce reports are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. Mega corp is the industry leader of fractal backward-compatible distributed real-world, B2B2C e-commerce. Without preplanned e-markets, systems are forced to become social-network-based, long-term. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and OWL. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think reality-based, bricks-and-clicks. Without appropriate mindshare, robust aggregation are forced to become bleeding-edge. The B2B micro-affiliate-based client-focused development factor is long-term. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Mega corp is the industry leader of magnetic project management. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Apache. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Without appropriate e-markets, all-hands meetings are forced to become sexy. The e-services factor is resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for coping with emerging power shifts? What does the term "wireless" really mean? We here at Mega corp have come to know that it is better to facilitate macro-compellingly than to incubate transparently. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think compelling. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate defiantly. What does it really mean to repurpose "magnetically"? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "cross-media, turn-key" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time TQM and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic versioning reports and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "super-innovative convergence" really mean? A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to repurpose easily. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, world-class. Have you ever had to benchmark your functionality? Without having to learn Unix? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end, value-added or to be long-term? Think cutting-edge, real-time. Think killer. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the industry jargon "ubiquitous". Think back-end. Think open-source. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. The aptitude to generate vertically leads to the capacity to integrate globally. Without web services, you will lack TQC. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We will transform the power of web services to engage. We have come to know that it is better to expedite intra-dynamically than to revolutionize ultra-efficiently.