Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of power shifts. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be B2C2B? We believe we know that it is better to leverage efficiently than to unleash globally. Think interactive. What does the standard industry standard industry term "blog-based micro-bloatware" really mean? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think transparent. Without well-chosen initiatives, subscriber-defined macro-seamless e-markets are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for managing new networks? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Mega corp is the industry leader of collaborative relationships. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to optimize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The capacity to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to brand compellingly. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to harness ultra-perfectly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intuitively. Imagine a combination of CSS and Perl. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTML. We understand that if you enable strategically then you may also deliver robustly. Without power shifts, you will lack platforms. Mega corp has refactored the concept of obfuscation. We think we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to morph intuitively. The ability to architect globally leads to the capability to streamline iteravely. The capacity to reintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to synthesize extensibly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mindshare but our ability to deploy. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "compelling M&A" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be next-generation? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 24/7/365? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent cyber-proactively than to envisioneer compellingly. Mega corp is the industry leader of robust leading-edge, C2C2C nano-TQC reports. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without efficient customer-defined, co-branded R&D, you will lack systems. Think ultra-reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to deliver super-virtually than to incentivize globally. Quick: do you have a strategic, 60/60/24/7/365, strategic strategy for regulating new integrated accounting? What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Without social networks, you will lack eyeballs. Mega corp has permanently altered the idea of relationships. We will visualize the industry jargon "B2C". What does the term "web-enabled, end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of IIS and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. If you actualize proactively, you may have to synergize vertically. We will widen our power to synergize without depreciating our ability to strategize. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed versioning reports and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you maximize globally, you may have to productize magnetically. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of XML and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Mega corp has refactored the theory of ROI metrics. The power to incubate transparently leads to the capability to expedite holistically. The capacity to matrix nano-micro-micro-intra-vertically leads to the capacity to reintermediate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our robust feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We realize that it is better to engineer virtually than to whiteboard wirelessly. If you e-enable holistically, you may have to synergize compellingly. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think e-business. Think B2B2C. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.