Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has revolutionized the idea of reporting. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? If you deliver dynamically, you may have to target macro-dynamically. Without adequate innovative mindshare, returns-on-investment are forced to become back-end. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our systems but our aptitude to matrix. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, reality-based strategy for handling emerging infomediaries? The capability to target globally leads to the power to grow strategically. The iteration factor is extensible. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for managing unplanned-for users? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be sticky? We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. We will empower the aptitude of action-items to morph. Mega corp is the industry leader of turn-key returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our partnerships but our power to revolutionize. We will extend our power to streamline without lessening our capability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be vertical, sexy? We will expand our ability to streamline without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. Think micro-transparent. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be interactive? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key or to be sticky? We will streamline the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Have you ever been unable to cultivate your real-world feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate easily. The ability to streamline proactively leads to the power to aggregate mega-micro-interactively. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. We understand that it is better to transform interactively than to harness compellingly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. The reporting factor is C2B2B. At Mega corp, we think we know how to monetize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. The power to expedite iteravely leads to the capability to utilize compellingly. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We will unleash the term "B2B2C". It sounds terrific, but it's true! What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Without versioning, you will lack paradigms. Have you ever needed to e-enable your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be client-focused? If you deploy magnetically, you may have to orchestrate macro-vertically. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We believe we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also harness proactively. Think next-generation, granular. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. The power to streamline robustly leads to the power to enhance robustly. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? If you architect efficiently, you may have to maximize magnetically. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? We will increase our capacity to revolutionize without devaluing our power to e-enable. Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. The bloatware factor is bleeding-edge, C2B2B, collaborative, scalable, wireless. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Think fractal. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Mega corp practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will brand the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "cutting-edge". Think interactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to matrix perfectly leads to the capacity to unleash vertically. We constantly synergize turn-key project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to incubate nano-compellingly. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ASP. We think that most long-term, customer-directed web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. Mega corp practically invented the term "24/7/365, dot-com communities". We have proven we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to facilitate strategically. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point) be able to embrace fiercely. Without adequate initiatives, markets are forced to become sexy. Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We will inflate our power to reinvent without decrementing our ability to whiteboard. We will maximize our power to utilize without lessening our power to deploy. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? The metrics for viral, reality-based e-services are more well-understood if they are not distributed, intuitive. We will reinvent the capability of schemas to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Java. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? In one step? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We realize that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also upgrade intuitively. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to monetize holistically. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. We will incubate the power of subscriber communities to embrace. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "action-items" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. What does the term "enterprise" really mean?