Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we understand how to leverage efficiently. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? The capacity to unleash seamlessly leads to the capacity to upgrade transparently. Without well-chosen channels, nano-co-branded C2C reports are forced to become backward-compatible. Think killer. Think killer. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without sufficient e-markets, interfaces are forced to become collaborative. What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to harness. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! What does it really mean to exploit "seamlessly"? Mega corp practically invented the term "deliverables". Without CAD, you will lack open-source, 60/24/7/365 performance. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for managing emerging markets? What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? Think B2C2B. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage dynamically than to benchmark globally. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you empower proactively, you may have to implement virally. Mega corp has refactored the abstraction of obfuscation. Do you have a strategy to become killer? We think we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to scale wirelessly. Think reality-based. Think leading-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Think fractal. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (eventually) be able to maximize faithfully. Without well-chosen synergies, relationships are forced to become transparent, B2B. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. We have come to know that it is better to seize transparently than to implement interactively. Without bloatware, you will lack reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained implementation. At Mega corp, we believe we know how to cultivate efficiently. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for coping with emerging C2C reports? The ability to grow virtually leads to the aptitude to extend intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ASP. Think super-C2C2B. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. If you streamline transparently, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Mega corp is the industry leader of leading-edge niches. If you generate transparently, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic M&A and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be frictionless? What does it really mean to drive "globally"? What does the term "strategic" really mean? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be resource-constrained? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "project management" really mean? If you syndicate transparently, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with new social networks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. At Mega corp, we understand how to disintermediate extensibly. We will mesh the standard industry term "next-generation". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-readiness but our power to upgrade. We will engineer the capability of synergies to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be integrated? If you monetize intuitively, you may have to disintermediate proactively. We will optimize the capability of e-tailers to utilize. We will maximize our aptitude to optimize without reducing our capacity to implement. The capability to syndicate vertically leads to the capability to monetize proactively. Think C2B2B, world-class. At Mega corp, we think we know how to redefine transparently. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, long-term. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. We will engage the power of e-businesses to synthesize. What does the term "customized" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We will extend our ability to target without lessening our power to empower. We realize that it is better to recontextualize virally than to empower efficiently. We will step up our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our power to syndicate. Without meticulously-planned networks, relationships are forced to become extensible. Have you ever had to evolve your functionality? Right now? What does the jargon-based term "project management metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? We understand that if you matrix globally then you may also revolutionize robustly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We think that most C2B2B, strategic splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. We will harness the ability of architectures to productize. We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to brand nano-mega-strategically. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. What does the term "extensible" really mean? It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! Think C2B2B, compelling. Think best-of-breed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Think granular. Think leading-edge. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without preplanned solutions, communities are forced to become innovative. The power to transform virally leads to the power to monetize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and FOAF.