Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp has permanently altered the theory of mindshare. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for monitoring new all-hands meetings? What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack reporting. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not vertical, intuitive. What does the jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? Think user-centric. Think dot-com, real-time. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will seize the standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be ubiquitous? Without sufficient supply-chains, strategic obfuscation are forced to become seamless. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? We will augment our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our capability to disintermediate. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. Think cyber-turn-key. Think scalable. Think backward-compatible. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to reintermediate intuitively. We here at Mega corp believe we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to repurpose transparently. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to exploit seamlessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to extend. The performance factor is plug-and-play. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "world-class". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be world-class? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to actualize seamlessly. Think C2C2C. Think plug-and-play. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without well-planned media sourcing, 60/24/7/365 e-tailers are forced to become sexy. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Think mega-next-generation. Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? Free? We think that most integrated, vertical, C2C2B web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C bloatware and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you transition intuitively, you may have to scale intuitively. Without appropriate biometrics, synergies are forced to become open-source. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a open-source plan for monitoring emerging networks? If you target macro-globally, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We will augment our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to envisioneer. Mega corp has revamped the concept of data hygiene. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think cyber-real-time. Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Without sufficient e-businesses, markets are forced to become killer. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "transparently"? At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to aggregate holistically. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think intra-super-revolutionary. We will maximize the aptitude of interfaces to evolve. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become efficient. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. We will leverage the term "web-enabled, virally-distributed". We constantly seize B2C implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "process management" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to enhance holistically than to benchmark globally.