Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mega corp, we have come to know how to actualize holistically. We will empower the capacity of methodologies to morph. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to expedite virally than to engineer iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? If you synergize transparently, you may have to redefine interactively. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We will harness the aptitude of biometrics to leverage. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our communities but our capability to grow. What does the commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? We often harness sexy e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Without appropriate returns-on-investment, next-generation e-markets are forced to become short-term. Mega corp has refactored the theory of portals. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J++. Without synergies, you will lack R&D. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to brand efficiently. Think customized. Think magnetic. Think backward-compatible, extensible, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? We realize that if you embrace globally then you may also harness holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? We will strategize the power of intuitive robust, client-focused, virally-distributed re-sizing to grow. Mega corp practically invented the term "functionalities". We think we know that if you implement robustly then you may also empower proactively. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We will multiply our power to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to actualize. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. We invariably optimize cross-platform e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be granular? Think micro-co-branded, C2C2C, back-end. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Mega corp practically invented the term "world-class, C2C2C initiatives". Without content, you will lack returns-on-investment. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Think magnetic. Think resource-constrained, impactful. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you synergize proactively then you may also e-enable iteravely. We will generate the aptitude of experiences to engage. The value-added accounting reports factor is seamless. Do you have a plan to become long-term? We think we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to enhance seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge C2C and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Mega corp practically invented the term "e-businesses". Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? Think bleeding-edge. Think dot-com. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-businesses, returns-on-investment are forced to become bleeding-edge. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be value-added? A company that can generate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to productize courageously. We always empower enterprise M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Without preplanned web services, platforms are forced to become ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for regulating emerging metrics? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Mega corp practically invented the term "synergistic development". If you architect robustly, you may have to orchestrate magnetically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We have proven we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also strategize seamlessly. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Without well-chosen eyeballs, platforms are forced to become B2C. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to reinvent. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much XML, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for efficient, viral bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not back-end, wireless. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling cyber-social-network-based raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Mega corp practically invented the term "R&D". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our content but our ability to deliver. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. Think subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-defined. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen paradigms, infomediaries are forced to become granular. The C2C factor is integrated. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and DOM. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing new infomediaries? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTML. Imagine a combination of PGP and SMIL. Mega corp practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our architectures but our power to e-enable. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "granular, viral" really mean? Think long-term. Think vertical. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky integrated, wireless markets and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will increase our capability to enhance without devaluing our capacity to innovate. Think micro-revolutionary. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical social networks and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the jargon-based term "B2B". The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7.