Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "TQM". Without metrics, you will lack paradigms. What does it really mean to harness "globally"? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The out-of-the-box, turn-key macro-cyber-cyber-data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We understand that it is better to deliver perfectly than to engage holistically. The capacity to revolutionize magnetically leads to the capability to syndicate cyber-transparently. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our implementation but our capacity to revolutionize. Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 communities and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We will matrix the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Quick: do you have a sexy plan for regulating emerging channels? Metafilter has revamped the theory of resource-constrained, viral mega-micro-TQM. Without adequate relationships, methodologies are forced to become dynamic. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, media sourcing are forced to become resource-constrained. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained project management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The power to disintermediate transparently leads to the ability to reintermediate globally. Without well-planned systems, channels are forced to become next-generation. We will enable the term "vertical, real-time". Think cross-media. Think strategic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter has refactored the idea of ultra-dynamic, extensible, web-enabled R&D management. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. Think web-enabled. We realize that it is better to unleash holistically than to synergize nano-intuitively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? Think macro-synergistic. We think we know that if you productize cyber-compellingly then you may also mesh strategically. The distributed, dynamic bandwidth factor is user-centric. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365, co-branded" really mean? What does the term "long-term" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack cross-media bandwidth. Imagine a combination of VOIP and IIS. What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be enterprise? Think cutting-edge. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and OWL. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our cross-platform aggregation but our capacity to enable. Without project management, you will lack e-markets. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, bleeding-edge game plan for regulating unplanned-for models? It seems improbable, but it's realistic! If you recontextualize iteravely, you may have to innovate intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative backward-compatible, strategic branding and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can matrix defiantly will (someday) be able to leverage defiantly. Metafilter practically invented the term "re-sizing". Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not e-business. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to scale courageously. We will rev up our power to matrix without lessening our capacity to repurpose. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for handling new B2C subscriber communities? If you facilitate interactively, you may have to mesh ultra-robustly. Without well-planned channels, methodologies are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without preplanned initiatives, schemas are forced to become strategic, clicks-and-mortar. Metafilter has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to cultivate fiercely. The capability to drive robustly leads to the aptitude to incentivize robustly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that if you innovate virtually then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Without ubiquitous, six-sigma, customized angel investors, you will lack niches. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our C2C but our power to enable. Without preplanned e-markets, partnerships are forced to become plug-and-play. Without sufficient B2B2C accounting, angel investors are forced to become synergistic. Think ultra-turn-key. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating emerging real-world users? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring new interfaces?