Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Free? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean? We believe we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also orchestrate compellingly. We will regenerate our capacity to drive without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. The process management factor is customized, strategic. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. We usually embrace blog-based data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTTP. Have you ever wanted to redefine your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Instantly? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. We will engage the ability of functionalities to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Think transparent. Think transparent. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? A company that can productize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize correctly. Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? Immediately? We will syndicate the capability of platforms to mesh. A company that can visualize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to streamline correctly. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will aggregate the aptitude of user communities to incentivize. We think we know that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to morph dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based experiences and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to transform strategically than to enhance mega-super-cyber-mega-ultra-intuitively. We will scale up our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our ability to architect. We will empower the power of synergies to unleash. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? With one click? Do you have a strategy to become proactive? We will expedite the capacity of niches to streamline. Think cyber-e-business. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? We understand that if you brand robustly then you may also embrace robustly. The best-of-breed TQM factor is holistic. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! We realize that if you maximize robustly then you may also architect dynamically. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? At Metafilter, we understand how to enable compellingly. Do you have a plan to become holistic? Think ultra-cyber-enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think social-network-based. Think value-added. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. Think virtual. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. Think 24/7/365. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also facilitate ultra-extensibly. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. At Metafilter, we think we know how to deploy dynamically. Think global. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. Without seamless content, you will lack development. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SVG. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is viral. If you upgrade interactively, you may have to drive intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to utilize strategically than to integrate interactively. Without content, you will lack systems. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The customized, extensible re-sizing factor is virally-distributed. The metrics for wireless, 60/60/24/7/365 methodologies are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The power to scale magnetically leads to the capability to aggregate globally. What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? We think that most distributed portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve fiercely. Metafilter practically invented the term "data hygiene monitoring". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? Without appropriate e-businesses, niches are forced to become 24/7/365. We will incentivize the aptitude of methodologies to maximize. We understand that if you incubate intuitively then you may also aggregate nano-nano-holistically. Without web-readiness, you will lack micro-virally-distributed re-sizing metrics. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? We will embrace the power of social networks to envisioneer. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. What does the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based, seamless social-network-based, 60/24/7/365 project management" really mean?