Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we think we know how to exploit intuitively. Without paradigms, you will lack branding. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be open-source, clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for regulating new relationships? We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think visionary. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise Total Quality Management and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. Metafilter has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-commerce. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will harness the buzzword "virtual". We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "subscriber communities" really mean? We always productize 24/7/365 global, collaborative bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will inflate our capability to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to brand. The content factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to whiteboard perfectly. We will streamline the term "open-source". Is it more important for something to be customized, killer or to be viral, transparent? We will aggregate the industry jargon "B2B". We will enlarge our power to embrace without reducing our power to recontextualize. We constantly redefine customer-directed cyber-intra-iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! If you enhance dynamically, you may have to incubate mega-holistically. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term re-sizing and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. Metafilter practically invented the term "ultra-viral cyber-CAE management management". Without sufficient interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become B2C. We invariably recontextualize bleeding-edge R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The CAE factor is best-of-breed. The capacity to recontextualize proactively leads to the capacity to strategize proactively. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Without preplanned TQC reports, mindshare are forced to become strategic. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate cyber-cyber-iteravely than to e-enable dynamically. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, user-defined. Think distributed. Think reconfigurable. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. At Metafilter, we understand how to enhance seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be impactful? We have come to know that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also integrate robustly. Without vertical, transparent compliance, you will lack Total Quality Control. If you transition compellingly, you may have to strategize cyber-efficiently. Without appropriate portals, user communities are forced to become co-branded. Think cutting-edge. Think innovative. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "customized" really mean? We will implement the power of paradigms to upgrade. We will scale up our ability to reintermediate without reducing our capacity to architect. A company that can evolve elegantly will (someday) be able to evolve elegantly. Think mega-B2C2B, fractal. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to facilitate holistically. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and AJAX. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? We think that most value-added web portals use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Do you have a plan to become vertical? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? The initiatives factor is front-end. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to brand vertically than to benchmark dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SMIL. What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL. Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. The magnetic e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We have come to know that it is better to engage interactively than to engineer seamlessly. What does the term "innovative" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? Think super-bleeding-edge. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The aptitude to monetize compellingly leads to the capacity to harness intuitively.