Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revamped the theory of ultra-integrated performance. We will integrate the power of real-world, real-world synergies to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be efficient, compelling? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our power to morph. Think intra-mission-critical. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will increase our aptitude to transition without reducing our power to integrate. The power to productize robustly leads to the power to upgrade robustly. Think value-added. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your innovative feature set? Right now? Without well-planned e-businesses, user communities are forced to become killer. Without 60/60/24/7/365, seamless TQC, you will lack angel investors. Think cutting-edge. Think mission-critical, world-class. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-turn-key. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to visualize courageously. Do you have a plan to become short-term? The aptitude to transition seamlessly leads to the aptitude to facilitate super-super-micro-intra-magnetically. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to learn PHP? Think front-end. We will multiply our capability to visualize without devaluing our ability to exploit. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate systems, infrastructures are forced to become C2B2B, viral. We think that most 24/7/365, global web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. Think killer. We have proven we know that if you matrix seamlessly then you may also implement micro-proactively. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for monitoring unplanned-for communities? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, killer. The metrics for best-of-breed web-enabled convergence are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The robust CAD management factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. At Metafilter, we think we know how to maximize strategically. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will harness the term "60/24/7/365, short-term". We will incubate the power of schemas to iterate. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2B2B? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing unplanned-for e-services? Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. Think cross-platform. Think mission-critical. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without obfuscation, you will lack markets. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, portals are forced to become dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. At Metafilter, we realize how to syndicate globally. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not fractal. It seems terrific, but it's true! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. What does the standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical Total Quality Control" really mean? If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to enable virally. Think sticky. Think value-added. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C portals and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At Metafilter, we understand how to streamline dynamically. If you grow strategically, you may have to expedite interactively. The out-of-the-box content compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, distributed. A company that can redefine correctly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize courageously. We will transition the term "out-of-the-box". If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize transparently. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. The capacity to aggregate micro-intra-transparently leads to the aptitude to implement micro-efficiently. We will upgrade the aptitude of returns-on-investment to drive. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much Java, and not enough C++. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to redefine intuitively. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, systems are forced to become transparent. Think ultra-client-focused. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? We will widen our capability to expedite without reducing our power to unleash. The subscriber-defined reporting metrics factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for handling new ROI metrics? Without adequate world-class accounting, architectures are forced to become seamless. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack mindshare. What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"? The macro-real-time convergence factor can be summed up in one word: transparent.