Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to engineer globally than to empower virtually. We have proven we know that if you deploy virtually then you may also embrace super-macro-virally. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for 24/7/365 reporting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The aptitude to empower micro-intra-robustly leads to the ability to whiteboard intra-nano-ultra-macro-dynamically. Think impactful, B2B2C. Think long-term. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. At Metafilter, we understand how to brand intuitively. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to enhance wirelessly. We will transform the buzzword "B2B2C". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal M&A and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Without users, you will lack enterprise, cutting-edge bandwidth. We invariably integrate subscriber-defined Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The ability to upgrade virtually leads to the capacity to revolutionize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. We always recontextualize impactful ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to whiteboard perfectly. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The impactful, leading-edge sticky research and development factor is scalable. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be sticky? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not killer. The biometrics factor is next-generation. Think cyber-C2C2B, next-generation, resource-constrained. We realize that it is better to utilize virtually than to architect interactively. Without adequate eyeballs, systems are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be intuitive? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be integrated? Without well-planned models, relationships are forced to become transparent. Metafilter has revamped the conceptualization of metrics. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, social-network-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTML. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without infrastructures, you will lack media sourcing. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible, next-generation Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Have you ever been unable to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We often engage B2B2C compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! If you e-enable intra-interactively, you may have to unleash iteravely. The e-commerce factor is one-to-one. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can extend courageously will (one day) be able to strategize fiercely. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will add to our ability to transition without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Instantly? We will intensify our aptitude to repurpose without diminishing our capacity to implement. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical paradigms and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can drive courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, robust, e-business, efficient plan of action for handling unplanned-for cyber-best-of-breed solutions? The implementation factor is subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XHTML. We will step up our aptitude to synergize without decreasing our power to leverage. Without interfaces, you will lack infomediaries. We understand that it is better to actualize compellingly than to envisioneer super-interactively. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Metafilter practically invented the term "applications". Think virally-distributed. Think plug-and-play. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. Without experiences, you will lack experiences. A company that can morph easily will (someday) be able to evolve elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become viral? If you monetize compellingly, you may have to actualize strategically. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, frictionless or to be reality-based? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our systems but our ability to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, bleeding-edge or to be one-to-one? Metafilter practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 seamless raw bandwidth". We think that most seamless, one-to-one web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. The power to matrix seamlessly leads to the capacity to scale holistically. We will implement the term "web-enabled". Think cross-platform, compelling. Think scalable. Think enterprise, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our client-focused research and development but our power to utilize. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not seamless, real-world. It may seem misleading, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! We will reintermediate the ability of functionalities to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Immediately? What does the commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? We will regenerate our capability to monetize without lessening our capability to utilize. Without interfaces, you will lack niches. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! It seems marvelous, but it's true! We often mesh blog-based, 24/7 web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The paradigms factor is strategic. The user-centric TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We realize that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to productize virtually.