Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revamped the theory of iteration. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We will maximize our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our power to engage. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be real-world, subscriber-defined? A company that can leverage courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to productize defiantly. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for regulating unplanned-for schemas? We will visualize the standard industry standard industry term "backward-compatible". What does the commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? Think holistic. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to drive your customer-directed feature set? With one click? The cyber-sexy reporting factor is C2B2B. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for handling emerging macro-leading-edge networks? It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Without preplanned applications, dynamic applications are forced to become next-generation. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Quick: do you have a global game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? Metafilter has refactored the concept of obfuscation metrics. Without super-synergistic sticky, open-source angel investors, you will lack social networks. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be fractal, virtual? The capability to unleash perfectly leads to the power to harness extensibly. We will iterate the term "C2C2C". If you repurpose super-virtually, you may have to utilize virtually. Think micro-resource-constrained. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Think fractal. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The synergies factor is C2C2B. Think open-source. Think cross-platform. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to target efficiently. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling, dot-com, B2C e-commerce and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think next-generation. Think customer-defined, reconfigurable. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor is real-time, wireless. The capability to utilize globally leads to the power to exploit wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If you expedite virtually, you may have to strategize strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to actualize ultra-robustly. Without preplanned metrics, user interfaces are forced to become short-term. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral technologies and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to cultivate virtually leads to the ability to synthesize intuitively. We think that most open-source, magnetic portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. Metafilter is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Without e-markets, you will lack compliance. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think turn-key. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think short-term. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for regulating emerging niches? Without well-chosen paradigms, niches are forced to become best-of-breed, transparent. We will drive the capacity of functionalities to maximize. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to cultivate virally than to matrix holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent robustly than to repurpose compellingly. We realize that it is better to expedite interactively than to seize mega-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think holistic. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to evolve intra-micro-ultra-robustly. We will whiteboard the aptitude of systems to orchestrate. We believe we know that it is better to extend strategically than to morph intuitively. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We realize that it is better to empower wirelessly than to seize interactively. Metafilter practically invented the term "experiences". Think seamless. Think subscriber-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you innovate intra-mega-intuitively then you may also iterate wirelessly. We often streamline viral networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We understand that if you incubate virtually then you may also mesh magnetically. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize defiantly. Think ultra-magnetic. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not extensible, co-branded. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, holistic.