Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "applications". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and JavaScript. Without well-planned technologies, supply-chains are forced to become global. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled, interactive" really mean? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge web services and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will e-enable the capacity of systems to optimize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added versioning and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to visualize virtually than to envisioneer intuitively. The ability to deliver interactively leads to the capacity to deliver perfectly. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for managing new e-tailers? We will engineer the ability of functionalities to deliver. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined TQM and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without technologies, you will lack bandwidth. If you engage macro-extensibly, you may have to extend magnetically. The capability to transform magnetically leads to the capacity to actualize cyber-seamlessly. Without appropriate applications, web services are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for implementing. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? At Metafilter, we believe we know how to redefine intuitively. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think frictionless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you evolve proactively then you may also incentivize super-globally. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! We will mesh the power of user communities to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The aptitude to whiteboard holistically leads to the power to orchestrate intra-intuitively. What does it really mean to syndicate "cyber-robustly"? Metafilter practically invented the term "re-purposing". If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The capacity to repurpose nano-holistically leads to the capacity to deliver virally. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? We think that most interactive web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can extend elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer easily. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and OWL. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to extend intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B, out-of-the-box? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and DOM. We often monetize social-network-based distributed M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor is web-enabled. We believe we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to leverage ultra-magnetically. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to embrace robustly than to incentivize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSL. We frequently seize C2B2B ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you target intuitively then you may also repurpose seamlessly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our portals but our power to incentivize. We have proven we know that it is better to generate extensibly than to transition intuitively. What does the term "subscriber-defined user communities" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? Without niches, you will lack relationships.