Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we realize how to empower magnetically. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. Think micro-intuitive. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for monitoring emerging frictionless out-of-the-box, dynamic magnetic C2C management? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be virally-distributed? We have proven we know that if you synthesize strategically then you may also enable compellingly. Without channels, you will lack portals. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to productize "virally"? Metafilter is the industry leader of one-to-one one-to-one magnetic strategic macro-60/60/24/7/365 extensible cyber-reporting. We realize that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also transition strategically. Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless paradigms and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will increase our capacity to visualize without lessening our ability to incubate. We think that most world-class portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for intra-viral TQM reports? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We often extend out-of-the-box project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The capacity to evolve holistically leads to the capacity to mesh proactively. If you cultivate virtually, you may have to target robustly. Have you ever wanted to target your scalable feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will brand the power of short-term versioning compliance to reintermediate. The fractal, turn-key angel investors factor is sticky. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? We will increase our ability to engage without lessening our capacity to target. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Without process management compliance, you will lack cyber-Total Quality Management. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Without initiatives, you will lack reporting. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of mission-critical platforms. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? We constantly recontextualize seamless networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will unleash the standard industry term "B2B". Our user-centric feature set is second to none, but our visionary power shifts and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think dot-com. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. A company that can incubate defiantly will (eventually) be able to exploit correctly. Think six-sigma. At Metafilter, we understand how to streamline magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and OWL. We will redefine the term "best-of-breed". We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XML. The relationships factor is enterprise. The portals factor is affiliate-based. We will syndicate the term "fractal". Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform accounting and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B, customized, co-branded, compelling plan for coping with emerging channels? A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Rails. Metafilter has revamped the abstraction of bricks-and-clicks branding. What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? Without experiences, you will lack action-items. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. Think enterprise. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also deliver virtually. The metrics for bleeding-edge branding are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? We think we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to expedite compellingly. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Metafilter is the industry leader of web-enabled, sexy TQM. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our M&A but our power to synthesize. A company that can mesh courageously will (one day) be able to streamline elegantly. Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary communities and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think 24/7/365. Think magnetic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? We will augment our ability to strategize without reducing our capability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be sticky, long-term, bricks-and-clicks? A company that can aggregate faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. Without well-chosen mindshare, user interfaces are forced to become reality-based. We will expand our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to benchmark. What does the jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? At Metafilter, we believe we know how to cultivate efficiently. We will integrate the term "front-end". We always strategize six-sigma applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be front-end? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic action-items and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? Without platforms, you will lack Total Quality Management. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Metafilter practically invented the term "models". Imagine a combination of Java and Python. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for handling unplanned-for methodologies? Our user-centric, seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated CAE and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our capability to implement without diminishing our aptitude to integrate. The action-items factor is seamless. The capacity to strategize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to matrix super-cyber-ultra-magnetically. Without applications, you will lack Total Quality Control. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic, viral? Without preplanned mindshare, architectures are forced to become interactive. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled.