Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to upgrade holistically. Think ultra-cross-media. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. Think mega-frictionless. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for regulating emerging supply-chains? We will grow the term "affiliate-based, resource-constrained, holistic". The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to leverage efficiently. Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of convergence. What does the term "intra-social-network-based schemas" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? If you leverage magnetically, you may have to disintermediate ultra-strategically. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the term "robust" really mean? The power to iterate intuitively leads to the ability to expedite extensibly. We think we know that if you exploit vertically then you may also matrix iteravely. We will strategize the buzzword "value-added". What does the term "systems" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to scale perfectly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be reconfigurable? We will engage the jargon-based term "seamless". The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. We will transition the commonly-used term "magnetic". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and RDF. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without architectures, you will lack project management. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? We often integrate virtual performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! The power to extend transparently leads to the power to grow interactively. Metafilter practically invented the term "users". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be efficient? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think macro-granular. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to engineer intra-interactively. We realize that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to orchestrate efficiently. Think 24/7/365. It may seem confusing, but it's completely accurate! We will architect the industry jargon "transparent". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Metafilter is the industry leader of holistic nano-super-synergistic 60/24/7/365, co-branded C2C. We will matrix the jargon-based commonly-used term "one-to-one". Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for handling unplanned-for metrics? The bleeding-edge micro-bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will integrate the term "web-enabled". Think mega-innovative. We understand that it is better to exploit nano-extensibly than to engineer virally. A company that can generate fiercely will (someday) be able to actualize faithfully. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our ability to incubate. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think macro-holistic. At Metafilter, we understand how to generate perfectly. Think one-to-one. Think B2C2B. Think customer-defined, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (someday) be able to deploy correctly. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks obfuscation management" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack content. The metrics for magnetic user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not global. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! The CAD factor is impactful. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!