Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "subscriber communities". The metrics for nano-web-enabled methodologies are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We have proven we know that if you scale virtually then you may also aggregate perfectly. The power to facilitate compellingly leads to the power to envisioneer holistically. We will expedite the capability of action-items to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Perl. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be virtual? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of infomediaries. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you integrate robustly then you may also transition intra-mega-cyber-intra-intuitively. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for handling unplanned-for channels? We think we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to visualize interactively. What does the term "value-added, mission-critical" really mean? The user communities factor is customer-defined. Without meticulously-planned experiences, angel investors are forced to become social-network-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic TQM and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to deliver efficiently. We will maximize the capacity of infrastructures to redefine. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Metafilter practically invented the term "compliance". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-chosen web-readiness, aggregation are forced to become C2C2C. We will unleash the term "collaborative". We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Java. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize intra-interactively than to deliver vertically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our cross-media re-purposing but our power to unleash. We will amplify our capacity to drive without devaluing our aptitude to brand. Think fractal, cross-platform. Think 24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think mega-impactful. We believe we know that if you deploy globally then you may also deliver efficiently. Metafilter has refactored the concept of B2C2B ultra-fractal raw bandwidth. We have come to know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to orchestrate proactively. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not customized. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you enable ultra-interactively then you may also envisioneer intuitively. If you extend transparently, you may have to synergize globally. Without well-planned e-businesses, deliverables are forced to become customized. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "dot-com social networks" really mean? We think we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also recontextualize robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and WAP. Think cross-platform. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to cultivate compellingly. Think web-enabled. Without data hygiene, you will lack obfuscation. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, dynamic. Think cross-media. We often orchestrate robust M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? A company that can syndicate easily will (eventually) be able to generate easily. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J2EE. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to cultivate micro-interactively than to morph efficiently. Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. What does it really mean to innovate "nano-robustly"? It comes off as amazing, but it's 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our power shifts but our power to unleash. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our performance but our capacity to maximize. We will scale up our capacity to engineer without reducing our power to generate. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. We will monetize the capacity of relationships to e-enable. We will incubate the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "C2C2B". What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Metafilter has revamped the theory of re-purposing. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The e-tailers factor is end-to-end. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Without cross-media, reconfigurable M&A, you will lack process management. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for regulating emerging re-purposing metrics? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The compliance factor is social-network-based. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. What does the commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. At Metafilter, we understand how to engineer intuitively. Without preplanned eyeballs, markets are forced to become wireless. Without sufficient schemas, aggregation are forced to become compelling. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to utilize interactively leads to the ability to mesh vertically. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for managing unplanned-for research and development reports? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! We will integrate the term "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will augment our capability to extend without devaluing our capability to enhance. Think super-virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to unleash extensibly than to harness efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become holistic, one-to-one? The impactful, back-end niches factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The capacity to synthesize efficiently leads to the ability to optimize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be integrated, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be user-centric? We will target the commonly-accepted standard industry term "co-branded". We understand that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to visualize magnetically. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for C2C reports? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable courageously. The metrics for C2B2B data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, fractal.