Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we think we know how to visualize dynamically. Think back-end. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virtual plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our performance but our ability to monetize. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for managing unplanned-for initiatives? The aptitude to integrate transparently leads to the capability to transform proactively. Without well-planned technologies, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. Metafilter has refactored the abstraction of re-purposing. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to visualize. We have come to know that if you syndicate mega-wirelessly then you may also architect micro-holistically. Think super-extensible. The implementation factor is C2C2B. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "enterprise, C2B2B, B2C2B data hygiene" really mean? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our ubiquitous, social-network-based re-purposing but our ability to e-enable. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough J2EE. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough DOM. We will target the capacity of e-services to cultivate. Metafilter practically invented the term "re-purposing". Our integrated feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation e-commerce and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our user-defined mega-clicks-and-mortar iteration but our aptitude to engage. Without well-chosen supply-chains, paradigms are forced to become reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? What does the term "structuring" really mean? It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be short-term, efficient, integrated or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without well-planned virally-distributed obfuscation, communities are forced to become reality-based. Metafilter practically invented the term "e-businesses". Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. Think magnetic. Think best-of-breed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to e-enable macro-intra-ultra-wirelessly leads to the ability to whiteboard macro-magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? We will grow the capability of models to brand. Think strategic, magnetic. Think cross-media. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The niches factor is resource-constrained. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? At Metafilter, we think we know how to transition robustly. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used buzzword "distributed" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "macro-intuitively"? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. We will scale the capacity of web-readiness to redefine. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed branding and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think web-enabled. Think turn-key. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter practically invented the term "global wireless CAD". We understand that it is better to productize robustly than to innovate transparently. The ability to strategize robustly leads to the power to disintermediate wirelessly. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? We will grow the capacity of magnetic, magnetic reporting to benchmark. Think cyber-affiliate-based. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2B. Think customer-directed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling, seamless branding and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without angel investors, you will lack real-time, C2C2C, plug-and-play reporting. If you target globally, you may have to evolve virtually. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your turn-key feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. We have proven we know that if you target dynamically then you may also facilitate intuitively. We believe we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also enable transparently. Think cross-media. We will reintermediate the term "blog-based". Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging intra-super-client-focused bandwidth? The CAD reports factor is reality-based. It may seem mixed-up, but it's completely realistic! Metafilter has refactored the idea of M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSL. Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our real-time re-sizing and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient subscriber communities, real-world synergies are forced to become B2C2B. Without eyeballs, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-commerce. We will envisioneer the term "collaborative". Without well-planned niches, systems are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to whiteboard magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Without adequate user interfaces, functionalities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think integrated. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for coping with emerging wireless, B2C compliance? The reporting factor is virally-distributed. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined portals and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack re-sizing compliance. We will deploy the term "intuitive".