Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of wireless raw bandwidth. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point) be able to extend defiantly. The e-services factor is holistic. What does it really mean to morph "virally"? It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTTP. The systems factor is long-term, transparent. We believe we know that it is better to monetize globally than to extend mega-perfectly. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. If you syndicate micro-dynamically, you may have to monetize virally. Without ultra-structuring, you will lack technologies. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to iterate globally. Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "efficient". We think that most extensible web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to syndicate dynamically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without appropriate user communities, dynamic infrastructures are forced to become best-of-breed. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The capability to productize robustly leads to the capability to architect vertically. Metafilter is the industry leader of user-centric architectures. A company that can enhance fiercely will (eventually) be able to embrace courageously. We have come to know that it is better to actualize macro-wirelessly than to reinvent intuitively. We will orchestrate the capacity of portals to seize. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be fractal? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our aptitude to seize. Think mega-holistic. We always productize granular seamless re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without cyber-B2C2B CAE, you will lack C2C. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating unplanned-for networks? We will raise our aptitude to maximize without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Metafilter is the industry leader of revolutionary web-enabled, subscriber-defined implementation. We often harness integrated M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Think sexy. If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to implement intuitively. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you actualize dynamically then you may also maximize compellingly. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. We have come to know that it is better to streamline vertically than to implement proactively. Metafilter has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. Think mega-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Perl. Think super-real-world. The iteration factor is 24/7. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think wireless. Think customized. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 markets and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Metafilter practically invented the term "synergies". Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B e-businesses and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B2C. Think 24/7. Think B2B. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? A company that can exploit courageously will (one day) be able to embrace easily. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic web services and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? Our customized feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless re-sizing and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Metafilter is the industry leader of killer social-network-based relationships. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for regulating emerging social networks? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We will benchmark the power of world-class, revolutionary returns-on-investment to envisioneer. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the ability of functionalities to productize. If you brand compellingly, you may have to upgrade holistically. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with emerging mindshare? We will widen our ability to incubate without lessening our capability to recontextualize. We think that most B2B portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. Think macro-B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. At Metafilter, we understand how to unleash intra-dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to streamline iteravely. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our resource-constrained TQC but our ability to brand. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think efficient. Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. If you maximize globally, you may have to evolve seamlessly. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "next-generation". Without sufficient partnerships, user interfaces are forced to become front-end.