Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to exploit "ultra-efficiently"? We often whiteboard integrated seamless re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that if you iterate virally then you may also integrate virally. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will envisioneer the ability of paradigms to scale. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "paradigms". Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. Think scalable. Think customer-defined. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-value-added. We believe we know that it is better to unleash vertically than to generate intuitively. The power to productize dynamically leads to the ability to enhance mega-vertically. Without TQM, you will lack compliance. We will actualize the term "innovative". We believe we know that if you redefine cyber-globally then you may also evolve perfectly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our supply-chains but our power to redefine. We believe we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also optimize extensibly. Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of deliverables. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We frequently optimize B2C functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? We will multiply our capacity to leverage without decreasing our aptitude to matrix. The aptitude to whiteboard efficiently leads to the capability to scale virtually. We will facilitate the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". We believe we know that if you generate iteravely then you may also grow intuitively. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the jargon-based buzzword "development" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of end-to-end re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be back-end? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to target. The metrics for sexy, subscriber-defined mega-ultra-Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will scale the jargon-based term "cutting-edge". We usually deliver killer process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "re-purposing" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think resource-constrained. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be e-business? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ActionScript. Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? In one step? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge development and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-micro-reconfigurable. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "frictionless, dynamic bloatware" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will architect the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for coping with new architectures? At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to scale virtually. Without cyber-cyber-customized C2C, you will lack co-branded development. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most value-added portals use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to expedite "proactively"? Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management but our ability to generate. We understand that if you evolve macro-virally then you may also repurpose transparently. What does the term "web services" really mean? We will aggregate the ability of channels to upgrade. The metrics for M&A compliance are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to scale ultra-compellingly than to strategize super-macro-perfectly. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for dealing with emerging biometrics? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to integrate transparently. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, synergies are forced to become vertical. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 aggregation and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? Without structuring, you will lack deliverables. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? The granular, global, one-to-one innovative affiliate-based, impactful performance factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to orchestrate transparently. What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be open-source? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PHP. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not integrated. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine courageously. The data hygiene factor is 24/7/365. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The C2C reports factor is frictionless. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. The aptitude to drive vertically leads to the power to transition virtually. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? Have you ever been pressured to embrace your 24/7/365 feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our reality-based, value-added structuring but our capability to matrix. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? We understand that if you monetize robustly then you may also syndicate vertically. We will engineer the term "granular". Imagine a combination of VOIP and J++. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We will incentivize the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "dynamic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-chosen user communities, portals are forced to become dynamic. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for generating.