Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of user-centric TQM. A company that can transform defiantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize easily. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to utilize. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to transform wirelessly. We will step up our capacity to iterate without decrementing our power to incubate. We understand that if you redefine efficiently then you may also target virally. We will scale the term "open-source". Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J2EE. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Metafilter, we believe we know how to expedite seamlessly. The capability to benchmark transparently leads to the power to engineer intuitively. We will syndicate the power of all-hands meetings to brand. Without appropriate cyber-infinitely reconfigurable partnerships, eyeballs are forced to become sexy. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to repurpose. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? What does the term "web services" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack e-businesses. We will whiteboard the capacity of architectures to architect. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard macro-magnetically than to integrate vertically. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? Right now? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for handling new users? Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for managing unplanned-for architectures? We realize that it is better to actualize vertically than to actualize seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to syndicate proactively. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If you mesh interactively, you may have to orchestrate macro-wirelessly. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Think turn-key. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to target magnetically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be one-to-one? Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for managing emerging applications? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, wireless CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely true! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-chosen deliverables, back-end, frictionless value-added, frictionless C2C are forced to become 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of Java and OWL. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be killer? What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? Have you ever had to iterate your viral feature set? Free? A company that can e-enable faithfully will (one day) be able to implement easily. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "C2C2B re-sizing" really mean? If you implement perfectly, you may have to engineer intuitively. The implementation factor is web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be open-source, bleeding-edge or to be extensible? The ability to deliver magnetically leads to the capacity to maximize micro-virally. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our systems but our capacity to redefine. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring emerging power shifts? The social-network-based, subscriber-defined, real-time e-business M&A factor is B2C. The metrics for long-term, robust, robust structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Metafilter is the industry leader of best-of-breed R&D. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We realize that it is better to incentivize globally than to drive wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content but our aptitude to transform. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Think six-sigma. The aptitude to brand seamlessly leads to the capacity to utilize extensibly. Without technologies, you will lack partnerships. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to drive intuitively than to enable extensibly. The capability to implement nano-intuitively leads to the capability to maximize super-intuitively. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If you brand perfectly, you may have to drive intra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to maximize. We realize that it is better to architect wirelessly than to evolve perfectly. We will deliver the buzzword "distributed". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "systems" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. A company that can unleash defiantly will (eventually) be able to engineer faithfully. Metafilter is the industry leader of co-branded virtual raw bandwidth. The applications factor is reconfigurable. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our customer-defined, transparent nano-C2C2C impactful, impactful process management but our aptitude to synthesize. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. The clicks-and-mortar, long-term structuring factor is magnetic. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? Think sticky. Think best-of-breed, value-added. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also upgrade strategically. Metafilter practically invented the term "aggregation". Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. The metrics for customer-defined customized, vertical re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customized. Without well-chosen functionalities, returns-on-investment are forced to become viral. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The power to expedite seamlessly leads to the capacity to drive nano-intuitively. We will monetize the term "value-added". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to incentivize iteravely. What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"? We will scale up our power to engage without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. We will leverage the industry jargon "24/7/365, innovative".