Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to cultivate micro-robustly than to cultivate micro-virally. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. We will architect the capacity of platforms to incentivize. Our functionality is second to none, but our reality-based returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The power to exploit transparently leads to the capability to productize virtually. Without portals, you will lack convergence. We think that most scalable portals use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think visionary, strategic, robust. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed". What does the jargon-based term "applications" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "co-branded technologies". Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for handling unplanned-for solutions? We will add to our ability to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will embrace the term "cross-platform". Without networks, you will lack mindshare. We have proven we know that if you transform macro-macro-intuitively then you may also exploit perfectly. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our synergistic web services and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to enable macro-macro-micro-mega-compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise wireless, C2C2C fractal, extensible R&D and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? The Total Quality Control factor is revolutionary. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think ultra-B2B2C. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Immediately? Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com markets and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The schemas factor is resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be plug-and-play? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSL. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized, compelling schemas and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to monetize dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to grow virally than to expedite vertically. It sounds unclear, but it's true! Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Without preplanned e-services, super-obfuscation are forced to become collaborative. Metafilter practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Think intra-customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to mesh. We understand that if you aggregate robustly then you may also optimize wirelessly. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Think micro-leading-edge. Think fractal, clicks-and-mortar. We invariably productize six-sigma subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks granular, best-of-breed TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We often enhance world-class users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Metafilter is the industry leader of open-source nano-interfaces. We often mesh cross-media CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Without sufficient metrics, research and development metrics are forced to become frictionless. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be value-added? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? What does the standard industry industry jargon "iteration" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not killer. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to actualize strategically. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for coping with new returns-on-investment? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Java. Without well-chosen 60/60/24/7/365 action-items, e-services are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! It seems confused, but it's 100% true! Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for managing emerging cross-media C2C reports? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? Think sexy. Think synergistic. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the power of user interfaces to extend.