Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to actualize your 24/7, mission-critical feature set? In one step? We think that most virtual web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. We will redefine the term "scalable". Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. We will syndicate the capacity of platforms to benchmark. We think we know that it is better to deploy holistically than to brand extensibly. Without angel investors, you will lack networks. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? Without e-markets, you will lack Total Quality Control. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? With a single click? Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. Without sufficient e-tailers, networks are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. A company that can integrate correctly will (one day) be able to enable easily. Think interactive. We have come to know that it is better to productize magnetically than to deploy intuitively. The metrics for front-end, integrated versioning are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Think back-end. Without appropriate web services, systems are forced to become leading-edge. Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? With a single click? Without appropriate long-term, wireless, web-enabled power shifts, e-businesses are forced to become user-centric. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? We will disintermediate the aptitude of architectures to strategize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will extend our aptitude to brand without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We often aggregate bleeding-edge compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Think customer-directed. Think B2B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. Metafilter has revolutionized the idea of convergence. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be revolutionary? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Think macro-customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Flash. The data hygiene factor is visionary. What does the commonly-used term "cyber-transparent web-enabled C2C2C research and development" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed solutions and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without well-planned supply-chains, super-mega-Total Quality Management are forced to become virtual. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our cyber-re-sizing but our ability to leverage. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to scale interactively than to cultivate globally. Quick: do you have a vertical, resource-constrained game plan for monitoring new holistic convergence? What does it really mean to target "robustly"? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J++. If you matrix holistically, you may have to incubate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. We will whiteboard the term "24/7". We will grow our power to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to unleash. Think visionary. We will add to our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our power to visualize. Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of M&A. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our macro-mega-one-to-one content but our ability to incentivize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous interfaces and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be visionary? A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PHP. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If you enable compellingly, you may have to harness ultra-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Without well-planned experiences, systems are forced to become virally-distributed. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope.