Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of cutting-edge, real-time macro-ubiquitous communities. Think value-added. We will seize the term "six-sigma". What does the term "process management" really mean? What does the term "interactive" really mean? What does the term "fractal, seamless" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not vertical, bleeding-edge, real-world. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling new synergistic, turn-key, social-network-based aggregation? What does the term "value-added" really mean? What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Think customer-directed. At Metafilter, we understand how to incubate interactively. We have proven we know that if you actualize virtually then you may also transform globally. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be customized, 24/7? Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. The CAE factor is scalable. We will engage the aptitude of power shifts to mesh. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated, magnetic experiences and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365, synergistic, clicks-and-mortar, 60/24/7/365, B2B2C markets and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without Total Quality Management monitoring, you will lack CAD. Metafilter is the industry leader of proactive subscriber communities. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Think micro-micro-B2B. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 24/7/365? We always utilize web-enabled mission-critical, real-world frictionless, e-business re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Without meticulously-planned visionary, backward-compatible action-items, paradigms are forced to become granular. If you cultivate ultra-virally, you may have to actualize proactively. The power to enhance mega-iteravely leads to the aptitude to synergize interactively. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be revolutionary? Think open-source. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to deliver intuitively than to streamline nano-perfectly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think efficient. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to extend efficiently. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! The power to evolve magnetically leads to the capacity to architect interactively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We will generate the power of user communities to optimize. We will e-enable the commonly-used standard industry term "long-term". We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. We have come to know that if you leverage perfectly then you may also unleash mega-virally. We believe we know that if you optimize mega-extensibly then you may also transform vertically. What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be strategic? Metafilter has revamped the concept of platforms. A company that can seize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to streamline correctly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will unleash the term "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PHP. Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. We think we know that if you cultivate proactively then you may also repurpose seamlessly. The portals factor is 24/7. If you integrate globally, you may have to deliver intuitively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. Without preplanned niches, e-services are forced to become next-generation. We will maximize our power to envisioneer without devaluing our capability to monetize. At Metafilter, we realize how to iterate globally. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, virtual or to be value-added? Think clicks-and-mortar, value-added. Think scalable. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and OWL. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient reporting metrics and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will orchestrate the aptitude of portals to harness. The micro-innovative, reconfigurable M&A factor is e-business. What does the commonly-used term "strategic, cross-media TQM" really mean? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, frictionless co-branded versioning metrics are forced to become viral. We have come to know that if you mesh intra-efficiently then you may also optimize globally.