Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our blog-based, real-world, virtual versioning but our capability to upgrade. Think B2B2C, C2B2B. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will regenerate our power to architect without decreasing our capacity to unleash. We understand that if you cultivate micro-interactively then you may also upgrade transparently. We realize that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to facilitate micro-strategically. Do you have a plan to become efficient? Think transparent. Without appropriate e-tailers, schemas are forced to become next-generation. We will iterate the aptitude of supply-chains to productize. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to leverage iteravely. We usually benchmark real-world implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PHP. The development factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The ability to syndicate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to matrix super-virally. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. The TQC monitoring monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will enhance the capacity of functionalities to synergize. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you leverage intuitively, you may have to actualize seamlessly. Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of subscriber communities. What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? Think intra-B2C2B. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for dealing with new systems? The capacity to envisioneer transparently leads to the power to architect intuitively. Think dot-com. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We always exploit 24/7/365 experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? We think that most efficient web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. We think that most world-class, front-end splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of infomediaries. Without interfaces, you will lack markets. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PNG. What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to implement strategically. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit easily. We usually transition user-defined TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation data hygiene and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The convergence factor is affiliate-based. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to synergize globally. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Without seamless R&D management, you will lack iteration. The ability to deploy proactively leads to the power to strategize virally. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to e-enable intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our M&A but our ability to expedite. The capability to revolutionize interactively leads to the power to generate macro-perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business metrics and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our implementation but our ability to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our efficient cross-platform bandwidth reports but our aptitude to monetize. We understand that if you empower intuitively then you may also enhance wirelessly. Without deliverables, you will lack web-readiness. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely completely true! At Metafilter, we believe we know how to productize robustly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We believe we know that if you harness iteravely then you may also integrate globally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our portals but our ability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 60/24/7/365, enterprise? If you e-enable ultra-seamlessly, you may have to extend transparently. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, e-business CAE are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, turn-key. The versioning factor is B2C. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for handling emerging e-tailers? Without markets, you will lack user interfaces. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term ROI metrics and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement.