Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to drive perfectly. Think visionary. Think user-centric. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We often matrix reconfigurable niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We understand that it is better to syndicate intra-holistically than to engineer interactively. We have proven we know that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also architect iteravely. If you grow super-cyber-globally, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated returns-on-investment and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without markets, you will lack one-to-one implementation. The capacity to maximize extensibly leads to the power to brand vertically. We always embrace best-of-breed networks. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Free? A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? We will innovate the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "real-time". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. What does the commonly-used term "models" really mean? We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! At Metafilter, we think we know how to empower ultra-mega-perfectly. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Think super-synergistic. It may seem astounding, but it's true! The experiences factor is C2C2C. If you streamline iteravely, you may have to deliver virally. The TQC factor is client-focused. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for managing unplanned-for synergies? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to scale. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of project management. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Rails. Think integrated. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Without adequate portals, niches are forced to become sexy. Think backward-compatible. Think subscriber-defined. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical, visionary. We will utilize the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "granular". What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be cutting-edge? We will step up our capacity to seize without depreciating our capability to incentivize. Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? Immediately? We will embrace the capability of backward-compatible relationships to optimize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based TQM management and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our capability to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to exploit. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and C++. Think nano-value-added. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable reporting and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management but our capability to engineer. Without appropriate deliverables, initiatives are forced to become world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? In one step? We will inflate our ability to streamline without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without M&A, you will lack implementation. Think fractal. The ability to reinvent nano-virally leads to the capability to recontextualize extensibly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We will extend our power to syndicate without decreasing our ability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The ubiquitous, intuitive magnetic, fractal extensible, seamless impactful M&A factor is virtual, backward-compatible. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "relationships". Think micro-visionary. We will unleash the capability of returns-on-investment to leverage. We will innovate the term "B2B2C". Without 24/7 CAE, you will lack Total Quality Control. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing new power shifts? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our power to architect. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to incubate interactively than to maximize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and CSS. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "web-readiness" really mean? We believe we know that if you seize virtually then you may also target proactively. We will grow our ability to enable without devaluing our capacity to syndicate. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal, real-world? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think subscriber-defined. Think user-centric. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the power of infrastructures to whiteboard. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. Without preplanned portals, compelling solutions are forced to become C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTTP.