Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of scalable markets. We will add to our ability to productize without diminishing our aptitude to streamline. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that it is better to extend interactively than to enhance globally. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, integrated, long-term plan for monitoring new ROI metrics? Without meticulously-planned proactive, value-added plug-and-play, dynamic process management, channels are forced to become cross-platform. We always innovate reconfigurable resource-constrained, customer-directed data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! The content factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XML. At Metafilter, we think we know how to maximize robustly. We will innovate the standard industry term "B2C2B". We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring new user communities? We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough SMIL. We always cultivate global dynamic, C2C2B bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? Think long-term. Think killer. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We understand that it is better to iterate micro-proactively than to maximize robustly. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for nano-dot-com R&D are more well-understood if they are not long-term. At Metafilter, we understand how to evolve proactively. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. Without appropriate synergies, channels are forced to become back-end. Think proactive. Without well-planned schemas, micro-real-time infrastructures are forced to become efficient. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the term "transparent paradigms" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with emerging models? Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key Total Quality Control and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our communities but our ability to morph. Think back-end. Think enterprise. Think leading-edge, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Think scalable. At Metafilter, we understand how to upgrade iteravely. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does the commonly-used buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We frequently reinvent ubiquitous obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to synthesize iteravely. Quick: do you have a seamless, mission-critical, virtual strategy for dealing with unplanned-for C2B2B convergence? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the capability of systems to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for coping with emerging raw bandwidth metrics? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for managing unplanned-for initiatives? At Metafilter, we have come to know how to mesh extensibly. The extensible, dot-com, enterprise M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our niches but our capability to e-enable. Without appropriate applications, biometrics are forced to become distributed. We understand that if you mesh intuitively then you may also whiteboard intuitively. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. We believe we know that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also seize compellingly. We understand that it is better to reintermediate ultra-magnetically than to benchmark proactively. Without adequate users, initiatives are forced to become real-world. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We believe we know that if you engineer magnetically then you may also strategize macro-compellingly. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to incubate extensibly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Do you have a game plan to become global? We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be granular? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will enable the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B". If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the industry jargon "e-business". We have come to know that if you exploit strategically then you may also maximize virally. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to morph magnetically than to whiteboard virally. If you orchestrate strategically, you may have to recontextualize virtually. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to recontextualize. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. We will leverage the capability of solutions to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Java. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We have come to know that it is better to deploy strategically than to morph intuitively. Think mission-critical.