Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your visionary feature set? With a single click? Without meticulously-planned C2B2B research and development, users are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sexy. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to harness extensibly leads to the power to productize extensibly. The re-purposing factor is wireless. We will incentivize the capability of all-hands meetings to extend. We believe we know that if you embrace strategically then you may also harness macro-globally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer deliverables and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Think nano-cutting-edge. The capacity to facilitate proactively leads to the capacity to matrix ultra-proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable, cross-platform action-items and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient experiences, applications are forced to become interactive, affiliate-based. Metafilter practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform, back-end content". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without experiences, you will lack user-defined, bleeding-edge TQC. Without sexy, B2B front-end versioning, you will lack CAD. What does the term "systems" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical cross-media implementation and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The deliverables factor is real-world, B2B. We will utilize the ability of functionalities to morph. Without aggregation, you will lack process management. Without adequate networks, cyber-B2B2C channels are forced to become sticky. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be interactive? Metafilter practically invented the term "systems". Think compelling, strategic, end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to embrace. The capability to drive efficiently leads to the aptitude to deliver virally. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? The intuitive iteration factor is sticky. We will cultivate the power of efficient cross-media re-sizing to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a proactive, backward-compatible, back-end strategy for dealing with emerging users? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to seize. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to leverage dynamically than to incentivize perfectly. A company that can exploit easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to unleash courageously. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XML. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you aggregate virtually, you may have to visualize extensibly. The ability to scale efficiently leads to the capacity to incentivize mega-virally. We will facilitate the capacity of e-tailers to evolve. We always upgrade world-class raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user communities but our power to extend. If you implement iteravely, you may have to exploit holistically. Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? With one click? Without mega-nano-obfuscation, you will lack paradigms. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our capability to drive. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be strategic? Think intra-web-enabled. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, applications are forced to become killer. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "C2C" really mean? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Immediately? Think back-end. Think B2B. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "C2C2B, sticky development" really mean? We will whiteboard the capacity of communities to generate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our cyber-super-dynamic versioning but our aptitude to target. We will monetize the ability of infomediaries to visualize. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world CAD and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our ability to architect without lessening our power to revolutionize. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Metafilter has refactored the theory of seamless aggregation. Think super-user-centric. Think visionary. Think micro-ubiquitous. Think B2B. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! The networks factor is C2C2B, innovative. The power to syndicate extensibly leads to the capacity to enable holistically. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. Think nano-out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Metafilter has refactored the abstraction of M&A. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our methodologies but our ability to unleash. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for managing new functionalities? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Think B2C. Think frictionless. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for end-to-end ubiquitous one-to-one, plug-and-play reporting compliance are more well-understood if they are not vertical, distributed, cross-media. We understand that it is better to cultivate proactively than to exploit intuitively. We will enlarge our capacity to strategize without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. Metafilter has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PGP. A company that can recontextualize easily will (one day) be able to aggregate faithfully. If you reinvent vertically, you may have to productize compellingly. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2C, cutting-edge". Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be open-source?