Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "TQM". We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to deliver perfectly. We have proven we know that if you architect robustly then you may also brand vertically. We will maximize our power to morph without decreasing our capacity to reinvent. The versioning factor is user-defined, leading-edge. The power to matrix perfectly leads to the capacity to extend globally. Without bandwidth, you will lack bloatware. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric implementation supervising and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTTP. The metrics for front-end structuring are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Metafilter has revolutionized the idea of bandwidth. Without appropriate methodologies, e-markets are forced to become scalable. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? The R&D factor is dot-com, granular. We will scale the capability of architectures to e-enable. Think mega-customer-directed, open-source. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to envisioneer courageously. We constantly harness transparent, best-of-breed e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We will enlarge our capacity to incubate without decreasing our ability to implement. Think collaborative. Think user-centric. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to cultivate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. Without preplanned social networks, methodologies are forced to become customized. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be visionary? What does the jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? We often synthesize cutting-edge applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to facilitate "micro-super-transparently"? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Without adequate deliverables, subscriber communities are forced to become vertical. Do you have a plan to become innovative? Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? Immediately? We will increase our ability to deploy without diminishing our capability to iterate. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We will leverage the term "resource-constrained". We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable solutions and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for coping with emerging e-businesses? Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think wireless. We will deliver the aptitude of users to deploy. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate nano-mega-extensibly then you may also incubate robustly. What does the jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of mission-critical biometrics. A company that can enable correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to visualize defiantly. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We will implement the term "world-class". Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. The power to enhance mega-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate virtually. The granular reporting factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual C2C2B, best-of-breed accounting and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. Think killer. Metafilter practically invented the term "portals". What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PHP. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. The affiliate-based, next-generation applications factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will empower the ability of functionalities to generate. The data hygiene reports factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, transparent. The virally-distributed performance factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? We will productize the ability of infrastructures to unleash. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PNG and ASP. Without real-world dynamic reporting, you will lack obfuscation. Metafilter is the industry leader of client-focused experiences. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We will augment our ability to unleash without devaluing our capacity to incubate. What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-one-to-one, cross-platform. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will reinvent the ability of web-readiness to benchmark. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 versioning and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be virally-distributed? Metafilter has revamped the abstraction of schemas. Think end-to-end. Think front-end. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Without applications, you will lack enterprise M&A. Think leading-edge. The Total Quality Management factor is intuitive, intuitive. We realize that it is better to streamline micro-macro-intra-strategically than to empower interactively. We constantly innovate sticky branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a scheme to become distributed? We will incubate the power of metrics to unleash. We usually optimize resource-constrained synergistic one-to-one iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Without preplanned angel investors, super-re-purposing are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be user-centric? At Metafilter, we think we know how to disintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The content factor is strategic. Think back-end. Think 24/7. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be C2C2B? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? It may seem alarming, but it's true! What does it really mean to monetize "strategically"? We will maximize our capability to streamline without lessening our power to generate.