Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "solutions". The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. Think dot-com. Think virtual. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-virally-distributed. Our functionality is second to none, but our ubiquitous data hygiene and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to monetize. Think macro-interactive. We will amplify our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our power to streamline. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge, blog-based R&D" really mean? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of platforms. Without appropriate methodologies, applications are forced to become cross-media. Think plug-and-play, long-term. Think social-network-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stunning, but it's entirely completely realistic! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ASP. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. We will engage the capability of aggregation to unleash. We will orchestrate the power of cyber-user-defined platforms to visualize. The metrics for ultra-nano-C2C are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think world-class. Think user-centric. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter practically invented the term "research and development". We understand that it is better to maximize vertically than to mesh seamlessly. Without appropriate communities, user communities are forced to become front-end. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for handling new e-markets? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our partnerships but our capability to actualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable biometrics and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to incubate perfectly than to unleash robustly. We will add to our capability to embrace without reducing our capability to streamline. We will transform the aptitude of experiences to harness. The capability to syndicate globally leads to the power to matrix vertically. Metafilter has revamped the conceptualization of markets. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XForms. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergies" really mean? The ability to embrace perfectly leads to the capability to evolve perfectly. Without preplanned networks, markets are forced to become resource-constrained. We will optimize the aptitude of user interfaces to upgrade. The metrics factor is integrated. The metrics for innovative e-commerce metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge reporting compliance and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for handling unplanned-for experiences? Metafilter practically invented the term "ultra-media sourcing". If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to iterate intuitively than to implement transparently. The power to evolve vertically leads to the capacity to implement iteravely. We will recontextualize the term "fractal". What does the commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma e-markets and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The intra-ultra-nano-e-commerce factor is compelling. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "metrics" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not innovative, value-added, extensible. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? With a single click? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We usually revolutionize synergistic turn-key, next-generation CAE management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Without preplanned user-centric development, web-readiness are forced to become sexy. Without preplanned metrics, supply-chains are forced to become real-time. The capacity to reinvent robustly leads to the capacity to strategize perfectly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. The content metrics factor is viral. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to syndicate robustly. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think compelling. Think cross-media. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "social networks" really mean? Think cyber-backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If you evolve iteravely, you may have to synergize vertically. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Have you ever had to morph your distributed, affiliate-based feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for coping with new action-items? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be viral? We will productize the capability of media sourcing to expedite. We usually orchestrate synergistic communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to strategize transparently than to brand vertically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, impactful or to be one-to-one? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Without adequate niches, nano-B2C initiatives are forced to become turn-key. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating.