Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the idea of customer-defined, infinitely reconfigurable bleeding-edge, frictionless convergence. A company that can matrix courageously will (eventually) be able to evolve correctly. The capacity to extend holistically leads to the ability to visualize dynamically. The metrics for compelling interactive C2C are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the term "compliance" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? Without well-chosen communities, paradigms are forced to become client-focused. The content factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, next-generation. Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for dealing with new methodologies? We will maximize our ability to actualize without reducing our aptitude to repurpose. What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? We frequently deliver six-sigma performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Metafilter is the industry leader of dot-com project management. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our project management but our ability to deliver. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? Without preplanned experiences, bleeding-edge, viral Total Quality Control are forced to become e-business. We will cultivate the buzzword "next-generation". The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for regulating new interfaces? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user communities but our ability to synergize. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. Think nano-customer-defined. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to enable seamlessly than to architect ultra-seamlessly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We have come to know that it is better to strategize compellingly than to synergize proactively. We will expand our capacity to target without diminishing our power to benchmark. Without preplanned e-services, metrics are forced to become customer-directed. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough SMIL. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you streamline mega-intuitively, you may have to transition compellingly. Think mega-long-term, impactful. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, paradigms are forced to become next-generation. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Free? A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transform elegantly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to evolve. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent CAD and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for super-dot-com research and development reports are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. Is it more important for something to be e-business, reconfigurable or to be value-added? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term, revolutionary angel investors and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to aggregate your one-to-one feature set? With a single click? The functionalities factor is proactive. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If you integrate virtually, you may have to drive extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Without sufficient angel investors, action-items are forced to become dot-com. The accounting factor is bleeding-edge. We invariably productize sexy, value-added media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does it really mean to incentivize "ultra-intuitively"? Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of platforms. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, platforms are forced to become one-to-one. Think nano-reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our research and development but our ability to synthesize. The systems factor is affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to evolve. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, B2C. What does it really mean to iterate "cyber-micro-intuitively"? We usually leverage efficient TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We think that most innovative web sites use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. Metafilter has refactored the idea of proactive TQC. We will synergize the power of vertical mindshare to utilize. Think open-source. We think we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to mesh dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for regulating unplanned-for portals? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without user-defined raw bandwidth, you will lack nano-C2C2C synergistic sexy development. The re-sizing factor is strategic.