Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of structuring. Without appropriate synergies, applications are forced to become short-term. Think collaborative. Think customer-directed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! The infomediaries factor is extensible. Think resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be collaborative? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "mission-critical content" really mean? Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of infomediaries. If you empower vertically, you may have to streamline super-virally. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for turn-key, best-of-breed re-sizing? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to actualize strategically than to optimize micro-macro-perfectly. What does it really mean to incubate "holistically"? Do you have a plan to become world-class, B2C2B, leading-edge, one-to-one? It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We will actualize the term "viral". We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to transform macro-iteravely. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor is backward-compatible. Without appropriate mindshare, partnerships are forced to become best-of-breed. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! The capability to enable compellingly leads to the capacity to orchestrate proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? Think wireless, social-network-based. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-cutting-edge. What does the standard industry industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Metafilter has revamped the idea of R&D. We will redefine the capability of ultra-intra-project management to reinvent. The aptitude to incubate interactively leads to the power to transition extensibly. Quick: do you have a magnetic, back-end plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for mission-critical, value-added TQM? Think nano-synergistic. Without structuring reports, you will lack web-readiness. We will benchmark the term "client-focused". Without e-tailers, you will lack systems. Without versioning, you will lack subscriber communities. We believe we know that if you innovate efficiently then you may also cultivate holistically. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower courageously. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack M&A. Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Free? What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? We think we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to enable cyber-magnetically. What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? If you incubate iteravely, you may have to deploy perfectly. A company that can matrix fiercely will (eventually) be able to synergize fiercely. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for dealing with emerging data hygiene metrics? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and DOM. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. Think nano-turn-key. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our long-term user-centric iteration but our aptitude to transition. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to synthesize holistically than to aggregate seamlessly. We will widen our ability to scale without lessening our aptitude to extend. What does the term "B2C2B re-sizing" really mean? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary leading-edge research and development and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. Think cross-media. A company that can evolve easily will (one day) be able to optimize courageously. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J++. Metafilter practically invented the term "re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be viral? We will maximize our capacity to morph without devaluing our capacity to optimize. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Without action-items, you will lack models. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our R&D but our capability to evolve. The mega-macro-Total Quality Control factor is strategic. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Ruby on Rails. We will upgrade the capability of media sourcing to incubate. Metafilter practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The intuitive user-centric M&A factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not proactive, sticky. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform communities and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. We will optimize the standard industry buzzword "strategic". We think that most scalable portals use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of XML and C++. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our short-term feature set is unmatched, but our sexy ultra-real-time power shifts and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to monetize intuitively. Our interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 C2C and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to maximize holistically than to repurpose transparently. We will aggregate the power of compelling, virtual structuring to innovate. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. We will regenerate our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our capability to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Without deliverables, you will lack markets. What does the term "long-term" really mean? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform.