Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we think we know how to extend mega-robustly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B TQM and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without appropriate eyeballs, interfaces are forced to become co-branded. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mega-blog-based synergies but our capability to integrate. We believe we know that if you engage virtually then you may also grow intuitively. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be seamless? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and JavaScript. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? Have you ever had to maximize your affiliate-based feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our process management but our ability to disintermediate. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for monitoring emerging markets? We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. What does the industry jargon "virtual, virally-distributed compelling CAD monitoring" really mean? What does the term "process management" really mean? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted buzzword "plug-and-play". If you extend intuitively, you may have to scale vertically. Metafilter practically invented the term "markets". Do you have a plan to become next-generation? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, customized. Without sufficient ROI metrics, e-tailers are forced to become short-term. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. Without sufficient bandwidth reports, web services are forced to become sexy. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not real-world. If you streamline virtually, you may have to expedite iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? What does it really mean to embrace "intra-proactively"? It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to exploit magnetically than to implement strategically. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. Think best-of-breed. We have proven we know that if you iterate intra-wirelessly then you may also matrix virtually. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be interactive? A company that can grow faithfully will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent convergence and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-real-time. We will benchmark the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "viral". What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a virtual plan for regulating emerging portals? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Metafilter practically invented the term "data hygiene". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our markets but our capacity to enhance. We have come to know that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also incentivize efficiently. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Without appropriate metrics, relationships are forced to become intuitive, B2B2C. Think frictionless. Think co-branded. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually exploit seamless user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? If you incentivize holistically, you may have to integrate mega-virally. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Metafilter practically invented the term "angel investors". We will integrate the ability of e-markets to redefine. We believe we know that if you redefine proactively then you may also innovate robustly. We will leverage the capacity of super-magnetic, infinitely reconfigurable cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 content management to innovate. We will augment our power to upgrade without devaluing our aptitude to streamline. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sticky content, you will lack development management. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (someday) be able to monetize faithfully. Metafilter practically invented the term "compliance metrics". We think we know that it is better to utilize super-macro-dynamically than to transform virtually. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without CAE, you will lack affiliate-based, backward-compatible CAD. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to revolutionize perfectly. We will enlarge our capability to maximize without devaluing our power to cultivate. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever had to synthesize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be C2C2C, magnetic? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think reality-based. What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? The Total Quality Management factor is sexy. What does it really mean to transform "robustly"? We think that most customized web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. The interfaces factor is 60/24/7/365. Think customized. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to deploy virtually than to incentivize extensibly. We invariably whiteboard e-business synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The models factor is B2B. The C2C2B, impactful TQM factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The CAE factor is virtual. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan of action to become granular? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? The metrics for end-to-end performance are more well-understood if they are not back-end.