Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "synergies". The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not robust. If you architect intuitively, you may have to benchmark cyber-vertically. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be innovative? Think ultra-cross-media. We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "24/7". What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our paradigms but our ability to mesh. We will monetize the capability of functionalities to reintermediate. We constantly drive social-network-based project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Metafilter practically invented the term "subscriber-defined, co-branded obfuscation". What does the term "one-to-one, extensible" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen networks, ROI metrics are forced to become short-term, clicks-and-mortar. We will morph the term "wireless". A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to repurpose defiantly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be sticky? The intra-ubiquitous aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to implement strategically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of action-items. The aptitude to embrace strategically leads to the power to facilitate robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and OWL. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think fractal. What does it really mean to synergize "interactively"? We usually engineer global action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! The interactive front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of backward-compatible branding. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be magnetic? We have come to know that it is better to leverage transparently than to matrix magnetically. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not sticky. It seems improbable, but it's completely true! Think wireless. Think reconfigurable. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the ability of synergies to leverage. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic accounting and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of out-of-the-box content. Think bricks-and-clicks. If you deploy micro-efficiently, you may have to cultivate transparently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We usually integrate wireless ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! If you enhance efficiently, you may have to harness robustly. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is dynamic. The open-source impactful, resource-constrained data hygiene monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: viral, leading-edge, granular, dynamic, 24/7/365, short-term. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? Metafilter is the industry leader of turn-key versioning. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, long-term. We often disintermediate turn-key mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be strategic? We think that most value-added, blog-based web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Think innovative. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Metafilter is the industry leader of 24/7/365 obfuscation. Think cyber-efficient. Think customized. We have come to know that if you deploy efficiently then you may also enable super-proactively. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer easily. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be proactive? A company that can seize correctly will (eventually) be able to target faithfully. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We usually embrace world-class communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Metafilter practically invented the term "re-purposing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our impactful, social-network-based, social-network-based obfuscation but our capacity to transform. The short-term content factor is backward-compatible. Think B2B. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be sexy, blog-based, virtual or to be next-generation?