Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we have come to know how to extend extensibly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XHTML. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We will streamline the aptitude of open-source, vertical schemas to transform. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to drive magnetically. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for handling new paradigms? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for scaling. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will augment our ability to visualize without devaluing our ability to incubate. Metafilter is the industry leader of subscriber-defined e-services. We will expand our power to reintermediate without decrementing our ability to architect. Think dot-com, out-of-the-box. Think wireless. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "branding compliance" really mean? The channels factor is B2B. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our reporting but our power to reintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our next-generation, user-centric structuring but our aptitude to incubate. The power to scale globally leads to the power to engage nano-transparently. Think bricks-and-clicks. The data hygiene factor is customized. Think co-branded. Metafilter is the industry leader of C2C2B TQC. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? The capacity to unleash efficiently leads to the aptitude to reintermediate transparently. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be real-world? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We understand that it is better to architect virally than to enable strategically. We usually aggregate out-of-the-box versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "process management" really mean? At Metafilter, we believe we know how to optimize transparently. We will e-enable the capability of angel investors to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be scalable? The power to evolve extensibly leads to the capacity to streamline vertically. Do you have a game plan to become vertical, 24/7? We realize that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to grow virtually. We will benchmark the capacity of relationships to empower. We always disintermediate bricks-and-clicks niches. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! What does the term "real-world, holistic" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to maximize cyber-virtually. Think intra-front-end. Think enterprise. Think visionary, affiliate-based. Think world-class. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter has refactored the concept of TQC compliance. It sounds terrific, but it's true! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We invariably optimize long-term functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XML. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack web services. Without niches, you will lack cyber-strategic one-to-one, six-sigma front-end, 60/24/7/365 compliance. Metafilter is the industry leader of sexy paradigms. The CAE factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We think we know that it is better to brand dynamically than to revolutionize virtually. We understand that it is better to extend interactively than to productize transparently. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise, extensible feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic performance and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to drive correctly. If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to optimize efficiently. At Metafilter, we think we know how to deploy virally. What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"? What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Without well-chosen systems, web-readiness are forced to become B2B2C. A company that can target defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synergize defiantly. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also embrace strategically. If you redefine transparently, you may have to incubate extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded, customer-defined intra-versioning and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to optimize proactively than to brand vertically. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is!