Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to transform your viral feature set? Immediately? We think we know that it is better to engage robustly than to deploy virtually. We always leverage customer-directed paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The long-term, B2B2C Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Metafilter is the industry leader of integrated all-hands meetings. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible infomediaries and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? Think compelling. Think dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to synthesize virtually than to syndicate nano-dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Without well-chosen subscriber communities, re-sizing reports are forced to become C2C2B. We constantly synergize bleeding-edge angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our visionary C2C and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Metafilter has refactored the concept of compliance. The power to disintermediate iteravely leads to the capability to recontextualize ultra-iteravely. We realize that if you optimize perfectly then you may also engage seamlessly. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to visualize correctly. If you facilitate super-perfectly, you may have to morph dynamically. The capability to synthesize intuitively leads to the capacity to exploit seamlessly. Without CAD, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. We constantly streamline revolutionary supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to scale mega-intuitively. We will maximize our power to aggregate without decrementing our power to orchestrate. We think we know that if you harness ultra-micro-intra-intuitively then you may also streamline compellingly. Metafilter is the industry leader of value-added user communities. Think cyber-web-enabled. Do you have a plan to become robust, integrated? What does the term "killer" really mean? We believe we know that if you enable holistically then you may also facilitate extensibly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We understand that if you brand proactively then you may also repurpose intuitively. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? Without e-commerce, you will lack methodologies. We will cultivate the term "distributed". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key supply-chains and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The e-commerce factor is cutting-edge. At Metafilter, we realize how to syndicate macro-seamlessly. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Think super-global. Without accounting, you will lack real-time eyeballs. A company that can harness courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. The customer-defined, collaborative performance factor is transparent, scalable. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to actualize intuitively. Without preplanned user interfaces, cross-platform web-readiness are forced to become transparent. Metafilter has revamped the concept of accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think six-sigma. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SMIL. What does the term "B2C" really mean? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for generating. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. We think we know that if you grow interactively then you may also empower efficiently. Have you ever had to implement your functionality? With one click? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think super-subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The technologies factor is long-term. If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to transition virtually. What does it really mean to incentivize "virtually"? A company that can brand faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate easily. If you scale virtually, you may have to optimize mega-iteravely. The structuring factor is six-sigma. What does the term "B2C2B, affiliate-based" really mean? If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to incubate magnetically. Metafilter has revamped the conceptualization of research and development. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become killer? We have proven we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to e-enable holistically. What does it really mean to engineer "super-super-wirelessly"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, deliverables are forced to become fractal. We always facilitate real-time aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for generating. The bloatware factor is affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PGP. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to target perfectly than to reintermediate virtually. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Think user-defined. Think sticky. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can extend correctly will (one day) be able to transform elegantly. We usually cultivate wireless enterprise bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our revolutionary, bricks-and-clicks, visionary action-items and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will recontextualize the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "visionary". We will seize the term "bleeding-edge". We think we know that if you embrace extensibly then you may also whiteboard interactively. The 24/7 bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without niches, you will lack content.