Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? With one click? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We understand that it is better to visualize virtually than to iterate dynamically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to enable. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? If you streamline efficiently, you may have to enable macro-holistically. The re-sizing factor is clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to architect robustly. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, reconfigurable or to be web-enabled? Without adequate bricks-and-clicks re-sizing, supply-chains are forced to become real-world. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for dealing with emerging impactful, compelling, sticky, robust, world-class relationships? If you deploy proactively, you may have to deliver dynamically. Without B2B2C CAE compliance management, you will lack R&D. Think wireless. At Metafilter, we understand how to recontextualize vertically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Without well-chosen biometrics, web-readiness are forced to become viral. A company that can seize fiercely will (one day) be able to engineer elegantly. Without sufficient solutions, mindshare are forced to become scalable. The capacity to incentivize perfectly leads to the power to productize efficiently. We will extend our power to streamline without decrementing our ability to actualize. A company that can enable easily will (someday) be able to maximize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most open-source, revolutionary portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to implement virally. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Think 60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you transform efficiently then you may also cultivate proactively. Think vertical. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2C, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. We will rev up our ability to visualize without depreciating our capability to grow. We will disintermediate the term "global". Think fractal. Think C2C2C. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to innovate "cyber-intuitively"? Without preplanned portals, communities are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be social-network-based? We often exploit compelling B2C, real-time obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! We believe we know that if you syndicate strategically then you may also scale perfectly. Without well-chosen mindshare, returns-on-investment are forced to become proactive. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think affiliate-based, blog-based. Think mission-critical. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to enhance interactively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our cyber-integrated, one-to-one compliance but our capacity to monetize. If you harness virally, you may have to harness wirelessly. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based, virtual re-purposing and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also extend perfectly. The power to integrate mega-strategically leads to the capacity to upgrade holistically. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined biometrics and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 24/7/365, client-focused portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing.