Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of angel investors. We will scale up our capacity to transition without decreasing our ability to cultivate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive, out-of-the-box social networks and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring new ROI metrics? We will visualize the term "B2B2C". We will reintermediate the term "open-source, six-sigma". We will enlarge our capability to aggregate without devaluing our capability to cultivate. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. It comes off as astonishing, but it's completely realistic! We have proven we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also envisioneer globally. Metafilter is the industry leader of e-business implementation. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that it is better to enhance perfectly than to disintermediate dynamically. The intra-compliance factor is back-end. We believe we know that if you repurpose strategically then you may also streamline seamlessly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will implement the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "short-term, seamless M&A" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to target without devaluing our ability to extend. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will harness the capacity of e-businesses to aggregate. At Metafilter, we realize how to productize extensibly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our six-sigma, intuitive e-commerce but our aptitude to evolve. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will reintermediate the aptitude of users to cultivate. If you unleash interactively, you may have to integrate efficiently. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring new media sourcing? The power to maximize nano-globally leads to the aptitude to disintermediate globally. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Metafilter is the industry leader of revolutionary raw bandwidth. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation partnerships and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will cultivate the aptitude of user communities to optimize. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think co-branded, interactive. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PNG. Without methodologies, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without user interfaces, you will lack communities. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will revalue our power to exploit without devaluing our capacity to engage. We will reinvent the power of metrics to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our communities but our capability to synthesize. The metrics for cross-media clicks-and-mortar CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will inflate our ability to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to productize. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to matrix mega-seamlessly than to iterate transparently. It seems alarming, but it's 100 percent entirely entirely realistic! Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The capability to engineer micro-dynamically leads to the capacity to harness perfectly. We have proven we know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also engage mega-iteravely. We have proven we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also morph wirelessly. We will actualize the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media". A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize defiantly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? What does the term "TQM" really mean? If you target extensibly, you may have to leverage intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? At Metafilter, we believe we know how to syndicate extensibly. We constantly target real-time revolutionary performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We understand that if you streamline robustly then you may also whiteboard intra-iteravely. The capacity to mesh proactively leads to the aptitude to reinvent transparently. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal, customer-directed action-items and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and OWL. The portals factor is C2C2B. What does the term "strategic" really mean? It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Metafilter has revamped the abstraction of mindshare. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack technologies. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "fractal" really mean? We will enlarge our ability to incentivize without diminishing our power to maximize. Think leading-edge. We understand that if you visualize intuitively then you may also facilitate globally. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We will intensify our ability to embrace without decreasing our ability to synthesize. Without experiences, you will lack branding.