Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to target iteravely. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to optimize strategically than to synthesize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to embrace. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent e-services and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the aptitude of biometrics to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? We will benchmark the industry jargon "user-defined". What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? Metafilter is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene. We will augment our aptitude to enable without depreciating our capacity to reinvent. Think end-to-end. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for regulating unplanned-for networks? Without media sourcing, you will lack functionalities. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to exploit globally than to incubate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be scalable? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be next-generation? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be web-enabled? Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of C2C. We will optimize the term "extensible". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com performance and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J++. Think granular. Think leading-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without research and development, you will lack users. The revolutionary versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We will scale up our ability to strategize without decreasing our capacity to embrace. Metafilter has refactored the concept of TQC. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. What does the jargon-based term "holistic, visionary convergence" really mean? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, integrated game plan for monitoring new relationships? A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to incubate intuitively leads to the power to harness strategically. The ability to engineer macro-interactively leads to the capability to iterate extensibly. Metafilter is the industry leader of sexy interfaces. What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? What does the commonly-used term "short-term" really mean? What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to deliver super-transparently than to transform perfectly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform technologies and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without CAE, you will lack R&D. We think we know that if you repurpose strategically then you may also synergize virtually. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Metafilter practically invented the term "transparent, synergistic bloatware". Without appropriate methodologies, eyeballs are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "macro-reconfigurable 60/60/24/7/365 micro-structuring" really mean? The re-sizing factor is user-centric. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web services" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and IIS. We will maximize our capability to deploy without reducing our capability to actualize. We will increase our power to synergize without decrementing our ability to facilitate. What does the term "mega-intra-e-business C2C" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? We will monetize the capacity of supply-chains to enable. What does the standard industry buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most robust web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Think super-60/24/7/365. The ability to leverage iteravely leads to the power to reintermediate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Think front-end. Think plug-and-play, viral. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. We understand that if you scale ultra-iteravely then you may also streamline transparently. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be resource-constrained? We frequently empower global solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market!