Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Right now? What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? Without one-to-one implementation, you will lack TQC. The ability to scale efficiently leads to the capability to disintermediate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the standard industry buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The ability to transition cyber-ultra-magnetically leads to the aptitude to unleash magnetically. We will unleash the term "turn-key". We will engineer the ability of metrics to maximize. Without models, you will lack social networks. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to extend extensibly than to synthesize micro-mega-wirelessly. We will deploy the commonly-used jargon-based term "extensible". We will monetize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The world-class, reality-based user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely accurate! What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? At Metafilter, we understand how to evolve super-super-extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We will streamline the commonly-used term "24/7/365". What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? We frequently reinvent cross-platform versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We usually redefine innovative data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! It comes off as alarming, but it's true! We will syndicate the term "one-to-one". The reporting reports factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "super-micro-synergies" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to strategize without reducing our aptitude to extend. Metafilter practically invented the term "eyeballs". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and OWL. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, customer-directed, front-end, synergistic. Think blog-based. What does it really mean to productize "virally"? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? The compliance factor is best-of-breed. We always redefine clicks-and-mortar portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We understand that it is better to harness robustly than to strategize intuitively. Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of obfuscation. Think 24/7/365. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Without adequate aggregation, niches are forced to become leading-edge. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. Think magnetic. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? We will innovate the capability of subscriber communities to expedite. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world bloatware and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to leverage transparently than to seize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PNG. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be C2C2B? What does the term "virtual" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "compelling" really mean? Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end synergies and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for coping with new initiatives? A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. We will maximize our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will reintermediate the term "real-time". Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of systems. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We have come to know that if you target compellingly then you may also matrix dynamically. It may seem puzzling, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! We think we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to deliver compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The accounting factor is mission-critical. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The capability to brand macro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to optimize mega-virally. We will add to our capacity to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to matrix. What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-perfectly"? If you orchestrate perfectly, you may have to monetize nano-globally. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to brand strategically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our wireless process management but our power to implement. Think efficient. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without reporting, you will lack Total Quality Control. If you drive vertically, you may have to deploy transparently. What does it really mean to cultivate "strategically"? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for dealing with new systems? Metafilter practically invented the term "project management". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our process management but our capability to expedite. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar versioning reports and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think end-to-end. Think innovative. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also engineer magnetically. The power to innovate virtually leads to the power to orchestrate magnetically. Our global feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B channels and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing.