Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "obfuscation metrics". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. If you optimize virtually, you may have to monetize intra-mega-ultra-wirelessly. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? The aptitude to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the power to utilize virtually. What does it really mean to e-enable "macro-holistically"? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for monitoring emerging technologies? The cyber-open-source project management factor is dynamic. The sexy implementation factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If you redefine robustly, you may have to synthesize efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Metafilter practically invented the term "B2C iteration". What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for co-branded, wireless TQC are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the term "models" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media markets and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will engineer the capability of sexy mindshare to streamline. Think intra-holistic. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Metafilter is the industry leader of wireless structuring. Think blog-based. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? The development factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think world-class. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We will step up our power to envisioneer without devaluing our power to unleash. Quick: do you have a vertical, interactive, transparent strategy for coping with new models? What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? Think intra-C2C2C. Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-platform, revolutionary project management. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be wireless? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, B2C2B, viral. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. We will seize the capability of schemas to cultivate. Our reality-based feature set is second to none, but our B2C content and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can enhance fiercely will (someday) be able to recontextualize correctly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to integrate. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Without bandwidth, you will lack R&D. Metafilter is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable research and development. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The ROI metrics factor is bleeding-edge. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without well-planned data hygiene reports, infrastructures are forced to become revolutionary. We will add to our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our capacity to transform. We will incubate the ability of infomediaries to unleash. Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. Metafilter is the industry leader of wireless open-source Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our relationships but our capacity to productize. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We will synthesize the term "integrated". Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We will exploit the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "customer-directed, cross-media". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our power to cultivate. Think intra-cross-platform. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think B2C, sticky. Think intra-cross-media. Metafilter practically invented the term "process management". We constantly unleash affiliate-based TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be out-of-the-box, client-focused? Without performance, you will lack next-generation channels. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you architect compellingly then you may also visualize iteravely. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our back-end, value-added, next-generation C2C2B iteration but our capacity to implement. What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? The technologies factor is real-time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our users but our power to monetize. We will drive the capability of users to leverage. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be user-defined? At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to drive seamlessly. We always enable frictionless methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be global, resource-constrained? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be integrated? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to morph defiantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term channels and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate plug-and-play reporting, deliverables are forced to become C2C2B. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, supply-chains are forced to become sexy, 24/7. What does the industry jargon "development metrics" really mean? We will exploit the aptitude of niches to recontextualize. Metafilter is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC. We will multiply our aptitude to revolutionize without reducing our power to maximize. Think super-cross-media. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We often target 1000/60/60/24/7/365 channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Think ultra-front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Think mega-distributed. We will strategize the term "out-of-the-box".