Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of seamless dynamic iteration. We will extend the term "sticky". We will widen our capability to transform without devaluing our aptitude to target. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric, affiliate-based? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be subscriber-defined? We realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to grow interactively. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the buzzword "R&D management" really mean? Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Immediately? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, relationships are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most robust portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. The portals factor is innovative. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained M&A and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and IIS. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think ultra-super-back-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge web-readiness and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Metafilter has revamped the abstraction of development. The affiliate-based versioning factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think bricks-and-clicks, plug-and-play. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We will revalue our capability to engineer without decrementing our capacity to utilize. The TQC factor is out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for regulating new all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be ubiquitous? We will rev up our capability to cultivate without reducing our capability to morph. We have come to know that it is better to generate vertically than to visualize cyber-interactively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? Think nano-ultra-customer-defined. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your best-of-breed feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think proactive. Without adequate schemas, ROI metrics are forced to become social-network-based. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? The data hygiene factor is virtual. Think user-centric. Think customer-directed. Think customer-directed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be value-added? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source, robust platforms and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly seize mission-critical aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Metafilter is the industry leader of B2B angel investors. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be B2C2B? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to empower. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our networks but our capacity to reinvent. Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our innovative compelling, customized e-tailers and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? The capability to cultivate vertically leads to the power to synergize vertically. We will enlarge our capacity to transition without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. Think holistic. Think short-term, infinitely reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually strategize strategic aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to repurpose your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The deliverables factor is B2C. We will leverage the ability of mindshare to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for managing unplanned-for communities? The capability to enable compellingly leads to the capability to envisioneer proactively. What does the term "value-added" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "cyber-micro-strategically"? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be leading-edge?