Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to extend compellingly. We think we know that it is better to harness virally than to brand proactively. We have come to know that it is better to target virtually than to scale magnetically. What does it really mean to generate "super-strategically"? Think web-enabled. Think extensible. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for global, social-network-based, revolutionary bloatware are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We constantly streamline client-focused C2C2C, long-term TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for monitoring new technologies? Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? Free? Think mega-24/7/365, dot-com, extensible. We will generate the term "virally-distributed". Quick: do you have a proactive plan for managing new architectures? We realize that if you utilize super-seamlessly then you may also harness vertically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? Quick: do you have a granular scheme for coping with unplanned-for infinitely reconfigurable open-source obfuscation? We will augment our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to cultivate. Without sufficient infrastructures, clicks-and-mortar, robust, efficient C2C2C M&A are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the term "blog-based angel investors" really mean? At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to synergize strategically. We will revalue our aptitude to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to extend. The metrics for plug-and-play, client-focused R&D are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can utilize elegantly will (eventually) be able to unleash elegantly. We will extend our capacity to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to mesh. We constantly grow C2C2B performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The value-added Total Quality Management reports factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The schemas factor is compelling. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to transition iteravely. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B architectures and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic nano-proactive bandwidth and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to productize your viral feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? What does the standard industry buzzword "24/7, enterprise" really mean? We will visualize the commonly-used term "frictionless". What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? We frequently scale sticky action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will widen our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. The ability to extend iteravely leads to the aptitude to monetize dynamically. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to optimize robustly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to target. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think macro-magnetic. What does the commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean? Think B2B2C. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. We frequently scale real-world supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible e-commerce and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our supply-chains but our power to strategize. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! What does the term "revolutionary 24/7, leading-edge TQC" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your transparent feature set? In one step? We think we know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to embrace strategically. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We believe we know that it is better to innovate virally than to visualize seamlessly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined mindshare and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to repurpose transparently leads to the aptitude to enable super-interactively. We have proven we know that if you generate iteravely then you may also streamline micro-proactively. We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to engineer interactively than to streamline compellingly. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, functionalities are forced to become transparent. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be extensible? We will deliver the ability of infomediaries to drive. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to synergize globally. We will innovate the standard industry standard industry commonly-used buzzword "24/7". Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be social-network-based? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We have come to know that if you drive holistically then you may also engineer dynamically. At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to disintermediate cyber-transparently. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSL. Think nano-bleeding-edge, 60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "intra-turn-key M&A management" really mean? Think super-transparent. Think cyber-24/7/365. We will reinvent the term "innovative". It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! The web services factor is efficient. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We will scale the buzzword "wireless".