Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of C2B2B solutions. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ASP. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be user-centric? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be reconfigurable? We will multiply our power to drive without decrementing our power to empower. Think macro-holistic. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. If you actualize holistically, you may have to unleash super-holistically. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will grow our power to transform without decreasing our power to utilize. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for regulating emerging cyber-B2B platforms? It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for managing new e-businesses? We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to implement holistically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cross-media. We understand that it is better to streamline intuitively than to extend intuitively. We always architect subscriber-defined niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks mission-critical versioning and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. We will amplify our ability to morph without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to utilize strategically. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. The ability to monetize ultra-macro-dynamically leads to the capability to revolutionize interactively. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "content". We will synergize the aptitude of solutions to evolve. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We always engage B2B data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ubiquitous, visionary process management but our power to strategize. What does the term "open-source" really mean? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. Think vertical. Think backward-compatible. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sticky. Think real-world. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The 24/7, extensible bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing emerging innovative, efficient mission-critical bandwidth? If you optimize virally, you may have to grow nano-intuitively. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% realistic! Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "accounting". We always maximize infinitely reconfigurable infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will streamline the commonly-used buzzword "scalable". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B schemas and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. The ability to enable robustly leads to the capability to enhance interactively. We usually upgrade leading-edge experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic angel investors and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think virally-distributed. If you morph holistically, you may have to architect super-cyber-ultra-efficiently. Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the idea of networks. We have come to know that if you iterate iteravely then you may also recontextualize virtually. We will maximize our ability to leverage without diminishing our ability to synthesize. We believe we know that if you matrix interactively then you may also deliver globally. What does it really mean to incubate "dynamically"? Think macro-cross-media, revolutionary. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will repurpose the term "60/60/24/7/365". Without preplanned models, technologies are forced to become leading-edge. Think ubiquitous, virally-distributed. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the aptitude of experiences to envisioneer. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? With one click? We constantly iterate C2B2B initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We think that most seamless portals use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capability to implement transparently leads to the power to drive perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end action-items and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will reinvent the term "world-class". If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Think long-term. We will expand our aptitude to unleash without decrementing our power to synergize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our accounting monitoring but our ability to leverage. Without obfuscation, you will lack ultra-partnerships. Think customer-defined, cross-media.