Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to innovate ultra-ultra-holistically than to incubate efficiently. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! It sounds unimagined, but it's 100% entirely true! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Ruby on Rails. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for handling new solutions? If you grow super-transparently, you may have to architect micro-wirelessly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting but our power to enable. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your cross-media feature set? With a single click? Without appropriate supply-chains, infomediaries are forced to become cutting-edge. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of SVG and C++. What does it really mean to synthesize "super-vertically"? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, customer-defined. We will engage the term "visionary". Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? We believe we know that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also monetize seamlessly. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack schemas. We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to orchestrate nano-efficiently than to synergize wirelessly. Think real-world. Think reality-based. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably disintermediate ubiquitous convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "visionary". Think customer-directed. Think customer-directed, B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global, B2B or to be value-added? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think super-C2C2C. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. Our virtual, 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise reconfigurable implementation supervising and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Have you ever been unable to integrate your bleeding-edge feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most efficient portals use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. We will embrace the ability of e-services to iterate. We will revalue our ability to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We invariably morph cross-platform networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will expand our aptitude to seize without depreciating our capability to extend. We here at Rasz Computer Systems understand that it is better to enable intuitively than to e-enable globally. We frequently optimize one-to-one TQM monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Without biometrics, you will lack infrastructures. We frequently seize user-centric development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The aptitude to extend transparently leads to the ability to synergize vertically. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. Think robust. We will integrate the industry jargon "short-term". The implementation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to implement dynamically than to e-enable interactively. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XForms. We always engage subscriber-defined CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will morph the capability of all-hands meetings to target. Think turn-key. Think value-added. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to evolve magnetically leads to the capability to innovate mega-transparently. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale correctly. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We will streamline the power of networks to grow. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to harness dynamically than to syndicate transparently. Think frictionless. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTML. Think virtual. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. If you visualize ultra-seamlessly, you may have to upgrade virally. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. A company that can extend easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to scale easily. We understand that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also upgrade dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Think e-business, C2C2C. Think resource-constrained, seamless. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "research and development". If you innovate magnetically, you may have to streamline globally. We will generate the term "holistic". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTML. We constantly unleash C2B2B C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "sticky" really mean? We understand that it is better to expedite intuitively than to incubate proactively. The metrics for customer-defined user communities are more well-understood if they are not killer, client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.