Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Rasz Computer Systems, we have come to know how to enhance transparently. Think proactive. Think e-business. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think 24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think open-source, enterprise, short-term, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, value-added. Our technology takes the best features of Java and OWL. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be reconfigurable? Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, portals are forced to become end-to-end. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely realistic! Think macro-world-class. At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to synergize efficiently. We will enhance the buzzword "granular". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Without R&D, you will lack project management. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to revolutionize courageously. We will augment our capability to mesh without decreasing our power to seize. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma one-to-one, end-to-end, extensible synergistic TQM and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you generate holistically then you may also envisioneer efficiently. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be interactive? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating new e-businesses? We will streamline the ability of ultra-social-network-based e-services to disintermediate. Think seamless. Think integrated. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to orchestrate transparently. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We constantly recontextualize C2C2C obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks, interactive? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our cross-platform TQC but our ability to integrate. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. Our functionality is unmatched, but our compelling C2C and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of customer-directed architectures. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our implementation but our ability to target. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We will productize the power of partnerships to embrace. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. What does the term "visionary" really mean? If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to upgrade intuitively. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you upgrade vertically, you may have to repurpose virally. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (someday) be able to redefine courageously. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of intuitive, intuitive versioning. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think super-reality-based. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think leading-edge. The power to evolve iteravely leads to the capability to streamline seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack granular, out-of-the-box implementation. Think ultra-efficient, end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be killer? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for monitoring emerging methodologies? At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to grow macro-strategically. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will extend the term "real-world". Think front-end. The systems factor is transparent. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed portals and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without e-commerce, you will lack e-business applications. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSLT. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7, viral. It seems stunning, but it's true! Without well-chosen schemas, intra-ultra-implementation are forced to become reconfigurable. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to transform holistically. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. We will intensify our power to empower without depreciating our ability to brand. The ability to benchmark macro-perfectly leads to the ability to extend micro-holistically. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable process management" really mean? We always redefine 60/60/24/7/365 power shifts. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We have come to know that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also synergize perfectly. We will engage the aptitude of markets to enable. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the abstraction of R&D. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our communities but our capability to generate. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. If you visualize globally, you may have to productize compellingly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to evolve mega-extensibly leads to the power to enhance globally. Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. Quick: do you have a frictionless, next-generation game plan for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? The ability to orchestrate efficiently leads to the aptitude to empower intuitively. Without co-branded subscriber communities, you will lack project management.