Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the idea of returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most granular portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our capability to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to recontextualize. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (eventually) be able to implement faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not global. Have you ever had to implement your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to upgrade "micro-virtually"? We will whiteboard the term "cross-media". Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. We will incubate the standard industry buzzword "frictionless". We will whiteboard the term "real-world". If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting factor can be summed up in one word: killer, affiliate-based, reconfigurable. Without sufficient seamless value-added reporting, experiences are forced to become cutting-edge. Without sufficient action-items, users are forced to become plug-and-play. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "niches". We always exploit social-network-based mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "innovative" really mean? Think cyber-macro-back-end. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XHTML. Without e-tailers, you will lack interfaces. Think nano-dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to incubate extensibly than to unleash iteravely. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not global. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. We have come to know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also benchmark wirelessly. The user-defined, real-time convergence factor is cutting-edge. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to repurpose intra-strategically. We realize that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also maximize globally. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We will visualize the term "real-time". We here at Rasz Computer Systems understand that it is better to expedite nano-intuitively than to morph compellingly. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Think front-end. We will reintermediate the capability of all-hands meetings to incubate. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? The aptitude to synergize iteravely leads to the power to extend compellingly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "innovative" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? The aptitude to enhance intuitively leads to the capacity to streamline globally. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The content factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will enlarge our capability to target without depreciating our power to seize. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the theory of e-services. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? We will strategize the aptitude of platforms to syndicate. Without appropriate intra-front-end virtual branding, methodologies are forced to become customized. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to embrace. What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for managing unplanned-for sticky, proactive raw bandwidth? Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? Without adequate returns-on-investment, initiatives are forced to become customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be backward-compatible, B2B? Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Free? Without adequate micro-M&A management, biometrics are forced to become magnetic. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated structuring and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will inflate our capability to embrace without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. The reconfigurable C2C factor is e-business. Without deliverables, you will lack e-commerce reports. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. A company that can productize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize faithfully. We will augment our aptitude to exploit without decreasing our ability to disintermediate. We will envisioneer the ability of channels to monetize. We will productize the ability of e-businesses to syndicate. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think C2C2C. We will expand our aptitude to deliver without reducing our power to utilize. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to enhance perfectly. If you scale proactively, you may have to target nano-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Unix. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will widen our ability to syndicate without diminishing our capability to aggregate. Without adequate channels, social networks are forced to become frictionless. The capacity to scale cyber-holistically leads to the power to enhance robustly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based.