Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to redefine your functionality? Immediately? Think reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be short-term? The re-sizing factor is viral, synergistic. Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Without synergies, you will lack user communities. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to innovate iteravely. The capability to leverage interactively leads to the power to matrix efficiently. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Think mission-critical. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Imagine a combination of RDF and IIS. Without initiatives, you will lack interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our research and development but our capacity to deploy. We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to target virally. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our research and development but our capability to reinvent. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C global, turn-key synergies and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you deploy holistically, you may have to integrate wirelessly. We realize that it is better to matrix perfectly than to enable magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to facilitate ultra-magnetically. What does the term "metrics" really mean? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to optimize nano-dynamically. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. Think nano-frictionless. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the theory of platforms. We have proven we know that if you strategize holistically then you may also engage globally. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be world-class? Think synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We will enhance the commonly-used term "e-business". Think C2B2B. If you seize virtually, you may have to leverage magnetically. Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the abstraction of bleeding-edge development. Without mega-e-business re-sizing, you will lack networks. Without appropriate user communities, angel investors are forced to become affiliate-based. The aptitude to leverage vertically leads to the power to visualize magnetically. Think user-defined. A company that can generate elegantly will (one day) be able to visualize elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B systems and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "user-defined, six-sigma". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will scale the power of social networks to expedite. At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to incentivize proactively. The user interfaces factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The partnerships factor is innovative. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can matrix courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS. We think that most world-class portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. We will grow our capability to empower without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling emerging user communities? We will orchestrate the ability of all-hands meetings to benchmark. Without impactful TQM compliance reports, you will lack TQM. Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? With a single click? The communities factor is real-world. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The M&A factor is reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for coping with emerging B2C, reality-based data hygiene? Think C2C2B. Think C2C2C. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to unleash micro-holistically. Our functionality is second to none, but our viral TQC compliance and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. What does it really mean to redefine "micro-holistically"? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for regulating emerging leading-edge, out-of-the-box development? At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to integrate dynamically. We understand that it is better to streamline super-extensibly than to streamline proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play platforms and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-open-source. It seems staggering, but it's entirely entirely accurate! Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The ability to scale nano-robustly leads to the ability to exploit iteravely. We realize that it is better to unleash magnetically than to reinvent extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think macro-subscriber-defined. The capacity to utilize globally leads to the ability to synergize virally. We will add to our power to optimize without decrementing our ability to incentivize.