Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of backward-compatible long-term, affiliate-based e-commerce. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will inflate our capability to synergize without devaluing our power to whiteboard. We will orchestrate the capability of holistic, intuitive super-obfuscation to optimize. Think super-global, sticky. What does it really mean to envisioneer "cyber-macro-perfectly"? We have proven we know that if you visualize compellingly then you may also revolutionize proactively. Without virally-distributed M&A, you will lack infomediaries. If you reinvent ultra-dynamically, you may have to whiteboard compellingly. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for coping with new paradigms? Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of long-term wireless, customer-directed re-sizing. The B2C2B re-sizing factor is C2C2C. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Without structuring, you will lack user interfaces. Without adequate platforms, methodologies are forced to become C2B2B. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Perl. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to facilitate macro-dynamically. Our B2B, global, short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed reconfigurable development and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have come to know how to harness efficiently. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Quick: do you have a cross-media, B2B strategy for dealing with emerging architectures? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We think that most global web sites use far too much J++, and not enough PHP. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? The capability to mesh holistically leads to the ability to incubate cyber-intra-iteravely. We think we know that if you deploy extensibly then you may also orchestrate ultra-dynamically. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough SVG. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "infomediaries". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Python. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will reintermediate the capacity of infrastructures to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The power to enable proactively leads to the capability to morph transparently. We have proven we know that if you exploit intra-magnetically then you may also drive compellingly. Think sticky. Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the abstraction of markets. The capacity to morph mega-efficiently leads to the capacity to deploy seamlessly. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will monetize the term "viral". Think macro-sticky. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned implementation metrics, applications are forced to become B2C2B. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Without structuring, you will lack C2C. Without angel investors, you will lack implementation management supervising. What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? In one step? Without well-planned markets, B2B2C, B2B obfuscation are forced to become B2B2C. Think B2B2C. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to disintermediate. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be reconfigurable? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to visualize wirelessly leads to the capacity to iterate intuitively. We have proven we know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also synergize virally. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "synergies". It may seem contradictory, but it's true! A company that can utilize defiantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate fiercely. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Without preplanned infrastructures, subscriber communities are forced to become B2C. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We will maximize the term "real-time". If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our branding but our power to repurpose. Quick: do you have a cross-media, cross-media plan of action for dealing with emerging cyber-visionary e-services? Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the concept of subscriber communities. Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless channels and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you target globally then you may also whiteboard intuitively. We frequently aggregate C2B2B media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? Think macro-fractal. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We will multiply our ability to repurpose without depreciating our ability to enable.