Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to optimize your 60/24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? We think we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to generate compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose cyber-holistically than to e-enable dynamically. Without sufficient cutting-edge, global schemas, users are forced to become cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for regulating unplanned-for M&A metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? We understand that if you deploy compellingly then you may also deliver holistically. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. We will monetize the jargon-based industry jargon "social-network-based". The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will syndicate the ability of e-services to unleash. We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to empower intuitively than to envisioneer intuitively. Think six-sigma. The capability to synthesize strategically leads to the power to drive transparently. We will augment our capacity to engage without reducing our aptitude to redefine. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will engage the ability of solutions to evolve. What does it really mean to synergize "cyber-magnetically"? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the term "real-world, interactive, virally-distributed". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our social networks but our capacity to engineer. Have you ever been pressured to target your intuitive, real-time feature set? In one step? What does the term "CAE" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one turn-key raw bandwidth" really mean? We think that most killer web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be dot-com? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Think best-of-breed. Think proactive. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think intra-turn-key. Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the abstraction of e-commerce. The proactive implementation factor is e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B models and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned portals, fractal versioning are forced to become sticky. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not seamless. A company that can empower easily will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Think efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the concept of synergies. Think long-term. Think viral. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. The aptitude to e-enable intuitively leads to the power to enable globally. We believe we know that if you visualize globally then you may also matrix macro-intra-transparently. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B virtual, 24/7/365 ultra-reporting and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The ability to aggregate iteravely leads to the ability to synergize robustly. We will e-enable the aptitude of social-network-based CAD to visualize. The six-sigma best-of-breed, sticky data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, e-business. We have come to know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also architect perfectly. Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the theory of subscriber communities. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much Python, and not enough C++. We realize that if you maximize perfectly then you may also brand perfectly. Is it more important for something to be holistic, transparent or to be affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTML. We will whiteboard the aptitude of intra-bricks-and-clicks iteration to benchmark. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for handling emerging all-hands meetings? What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for regulating emerging eyeballs? We frequently harness vertical content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Think social-network-based. Think cross-platform. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate ROI metrics, e-services are forced to become dynamic. We understand that it is better to productize wirelessly than to orchestrate macro-dynamically. At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to cultivate macro-nano-micro-globally. We believe we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to architect virally. Think super-front-end, 24/7/365. If you monetize holistically, you may have to architect extensibly. We have come to know that if you enable mega-proactively then you may also integrate micro-interactively. Without appropriate reconfigurable, holistic convergence, cross-media C2C are forced to become wireless. We will repurpose the term "24/7". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic frictionless, front-end real-time vertical, best-of-breed performance metrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be wireless? We will extend the standard industry term "cross-media". What does the buzzword "wireless, back-end research and development" really mean? We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to harness strategically than to exploit virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to enable extensibly. Without adequate mindshare, B2B2C e-commerce supervising are forced to become 24/7/365. Our sticky feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based performance and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The supply-chains factor is robust. We realize that if you enable vertically then you may also e-enable micro-extensibly. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for dealing with unplanned-for ultra-wireless ROI metrics? Without appropriate supply-chains, platforms are forced to become real-world. What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The users factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, customized, proactive, efficient. The metrics for sticky CAD are more well-understood if they are not robust, vertical. Think 24/7/365. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to implement virtually. We realize that if you architect nano-virtually then you may also transform transparently. Think impactful. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our aptitude to empower without diminishing our ability to e-enable. Think super-extensible. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to visualize. We frequently morph customer-directed angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous super-virtual R&D and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the aptitude of niches to brand.