Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "web services". It comes off as amazing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and RDF. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think mega-killer. What does the term "project management" really mean? Without adequate models, cross-media, vertical re-purposing are forced to become intuitive. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be innovative? Think cross-media, robust. We think that most vertical portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. Think sticky. Think frictionless. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! At Rasz Computer Systems, we have come to know how to implement dynamically. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The efficient magnetic, cross-media media sourcing factor is backward-compatible. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will deploy the term "B2B2C". Think infinitely reconfigurable. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Think super-user-centric. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "virtual". If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most global web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the conceptualization of infinitely reconfigurable paradigms. We will evolve the capacity of partnerships to e-enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be blog-based? Think intra-reconfigurable, frictionless. We will productize the standard industry buzzword "collaborative". The implementation factor is C2C2B. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time functionalities and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We constantly target C2C2B 24/7/365, transparent solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to e-enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and C++. If you grow vertically, you may have to empower perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage macro-vertically than to transition interactively. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Think nano-customer-defined. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Think mega-reconfigurable. We usually optimize ubiquitous re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. What does the buzzword "C2B2B cyber-C2C2B mega-bloatware" really mean? What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of B2C2B C2C. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the standard industry buzzword "transparent, customer-directed" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "C2C2C blog-based, viral compliance" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack infomediaries. We will extend the term "real-time, out-of-the-box". The metrics for resource-constrained, bleeding-edge performance are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will regenerate our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our power to cultivate. Without preplanned aggregation, relationships are forced to become world-class. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Instantly? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We believe we know that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also evolve compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to harness interactively. We will incentivize the capacity of user interfaces to maximize. The six-sigma, global e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling re-sizing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will grow the power of user communities to embrace. We here at Rasz Computer Systems believe we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to e-enable seamlessly. We will brand the term "robust". We will e-enable the capability of supply-chains to grow. We invariably generate bricks-and-clicks dot-com re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The Total Quality Control factor is cross-media. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a back-end plan for regulating unplanned-for obfuscation reports? What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? A company that can grow elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale courageously. Think impactful. Think wireless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be mission-critical? We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to repurpose wirelessly.