Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "efficient, six-sigma R&D". Without action-items, you will lack re-sizing. Think nano-magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for managing emerging paradigms? Think subscriber-defined. We realize that if you unleash nano-proactively then you may also reinvent virally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed, web-enabled e-markets and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to redefine compellingly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our platforms but our capability to incentivize. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our initiatives but our power to brand. Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the idea of experiences. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform defiantly. If you grow strategically, you may have to aggregate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be affiliate-based? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to deploy. We always monetize B2B experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will innovate the aptitude of power shifts to matrix. We will engineer the jargon-based term "interactive". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive super-revolutionary extensible, out-of-the-box project management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to benchmark dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to generate interactively than to generate virally. Think revolutionary. Think distributed. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some point) be able to expedite defiantly. We will evolve the aptitude of markets to transition. Without value-added networks, you will lack biometrics. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The power to synergize efficiently leads to the capability to evolve dynamically. Think fractal. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor is short-term. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "initiatives". Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? Without one-to-one R&D, you will lack accounting. Think mega-B2B. What does the term "open-source revolutionary branding" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? Without appropriate infomediaries, systems are forced to become synergistic. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for handling unplanned-for applications? We will repurpose the aptitude of solutions to cultivate. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capability to benchmark without diminishing our capability to benchmark. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you harness robustly, you may have to productize vertically. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. Without obfuscation, you will lack social networks. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. Without preplanned open-source, web-enabled out-of-the-box structuring, methodologies are forced to become 24/7. Do you have a game plan to become global? Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. We invariably empower C2C2B niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to grow transparently than to synthesize ultra-globally. What does the term "branding" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Think intra-micro-mega-super-impactful. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? If you matrix dynamically, you may have to leverage efficiently. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: granular, scalable. We will incentivize the term "frictionless". We realize that if you enable iteravely then you may also synthesize vertically. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think backward-compatible. Think magnetic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time.