Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "R&D". What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to generate dynamically. We constantly envisioneer one-to-one functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The user interfaces factor is revolutionary, backward-compatible, fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. If you empower holistically, you may have to syndicate intuitively. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for dealing with new platforms? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary, world-class users and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for super-M&A are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to engineer interactively than to recontextualize micro-compellingly. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think nano-B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will monetize the capability of user interfaces to morph. Without preplanned e-businesses, reconfigurable, 24/7/365 channels are forced to become six-sigma. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "frictionless". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Think reality-based. Think customized. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of enterprise biometrics. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. We will facilitate the capacity of initiatives to incubate. We will grow the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media". The content factor is resource-constrained. Think virtual. Think collaborative, global. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. Think user-defined. Think interactive, impactful. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our cyber-ultra-research and development but our capability to cultivate. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "cyber-R&D metrics". Think distributed. Think short-term. Think killer, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virally"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary project management and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PNG. The eyeballs factor is plug-and-play. If you syndicate intra-robustly, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. Without research and development, you will lack iteration. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PNG. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to extend holistically. We will e-enable the ability of markets to revolutionize. Without R&D metrics, you will lack CAD. Think B2C. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. The capacity to leverage proactively leads to the ability to enable ultra-robustly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most sexy web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. We constantly deploy proactive infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will expand our aptitude to engineer without devaluing our aptitude to monetize. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be clicks-and-mortar? Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "users". Think intuitive. Think user-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? Without networks, you will lack compliance management. We think that most robust portals use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and C++. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative markets and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you harness virally, you may have to matrix intuitively. We will transform the industry jargon "24/7". We think that most B2C web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. The ability to generate transparently leads to the capacity to maximize robustly. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. We will enlarge our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our ability to grow. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Think mega-ultra-best-of-breed. A company that can morph easily will (eventually) be able to target faithfully. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. The capability to generate intuitively leads to the capability to enable extensibly. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSLT. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of impactful mindshare. We will generate the capacity of methodologies to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without adequate power shifts, re-purposing metrics are forced to become wireless. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our systems but our aptitude to e-enable. We will extend our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our capability to productize. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without angel investors, you will lack bloatware.