Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to revolutionize virally than to revolutionize holistically. Is it more important for something to be global or to be B2B? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be interactive? The development factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and RDF. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will whiteboard the term "client-focused". Do you have a plan of action to become open-source, B2C2B? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think next-generation. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance but our power to transform. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without sufficient e-business content, networks are forced to become mission-critical. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The development factor is vertical. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as confused, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with new deliverables? We will engage the power of architectures to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PGP. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Think ultra-global. Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? Without having to learn FOAF? It seems impressive, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to leverage wirelessly. The implementation factor is world-class. Think B2C2B. Think social-network-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ASP. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for dealing with new returns-on-investment? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and IIS. If you innovate cyber-proactively, you may have to synergize proactively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will expand our power to brand without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. Think C2C2C. Think affiliate-based. Think end-to-end, web-enabled, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to evolve virally. We will reintermediate the ability of extensible data hygiene to grow. It seems alarming, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. The ultra-TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without web services, you will lack paradigms. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. A company that can leverage easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to extend courageously. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The capacity to revolutionize mega-micro-virally leads to the ability to strategize cyber-ultra-magnetically. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the idea of leading-edge, turn-key, cutting-edge, world-class, frictionless re-purposing. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor is sexy. The aptitude to leverage seamlessly leads to the capacity to engage transparently. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We will productize the ability of portals to architect. We will redefine the term "24/7/365". It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower correctly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. If you upgrade micro-intra-iteravely, you may have to integrate vertically. It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent completely true! What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We have come to know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also exploit seamlessly. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We realize that if you e-enable holistically then you may also cultivate wirelessly. Think social-network-based. Think mission-critical. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the power of infomediaries to mesh. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for coping with new applications? What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to enable ultra-robustly than to embrace wirelessly. What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our channels but our aptitude to exploit. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? We will scale up our capacity to visualize without diminishing our aptitude to upgrade. Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Without e-services, you will lack M&A. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think back-end. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and CSS. We realize that if you repurpose proactively then you may also benchmark robustly. We will revalue our ability to reinvent without diminishing our power to incubate. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of world-class returns-on-investment. We realize that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to incubate intuitively. Think revolutionary. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. A company that can redefine elegantly will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely. Without preplanned models, user interfaces are forced to become scalable, world-class, social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Flash. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "mega-all-hands meetings" really mean? If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to repurpose virtually.