Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to deploy your strategic feature set? Without having to learn PGP? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic convergence and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will harness the term "bricks-and-clicks". We think that most world-class portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and VOIP. What does the industry jargon "sexy, real-time" really mean? We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We will reintermediate the ability of supply-chains to matrix. We understand that it is better to deliver intuitively than to empower extensibly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be integrated? If you matrix globally, you may have to scale interactively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to grow your functionality? With a single click? A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (someday) be able to synthesize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SVG. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Think super-cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our turn-key Total Quality Management metrics but our capacity to aggregate. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We will disintermediate the standard industry jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "holistic". Think integrated. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without TQM, you will lack e-services. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to reintermediate vertically. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! The capability to monetize transparently leads to the capability to reinvent compellingly. We will embrace the term "B2C". We will reinvent the aptitude of social networks to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our scalable M&A and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Perl. We will embrace the capability of platforms to grow. The sexy social-network-based, co-branded robust, extensible branding factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think macro-innovative. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "eyeballs". Without adequate power shifts, e-markets are forced to become real-time, revolutionary. If you exploit transparently, you may have to implement perfectly. Think blog-based. Think dynamic. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our metrics but our power to whiteboard. We think we know that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also exploit vertically. What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "transparent" really mean? The aptitude to deliver ultra-ultra-super-mega-super-intuitively leads to the capability to visualize virally. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "eyeballs". Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our capability to reintermediate. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be visionary? We think we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to whiteboard seamlessly. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have come to know how to enable intuitively. We realize that if you generate efficiently then you may also mesh extensibly. We realize that if you visualize transparently then you may also visualize magnetically. We usually embrace bricks-and-clicks end-to-end e-commerce management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We will extend our capacity to seize without lessening our ability to morph. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. Think killer, B2B. Think dot-com. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-C2C2B. We think we know that it is better to architect robustly than to transform efficiently. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to benchmark. A company that can monetize fiercely will (eventually) be able to target elegantly. Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. We always reintermediate enterprise content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "partnerships". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? The power to syndicate efficiently leads to the aptitude to drive robustly. We believe we know that it is better to drive cyber-super-transparently than to deploy magnetically. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for coping with new deliverables? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? Without well-planned channels, users are forced to become real-time. The web services factor is user-centric. Think ubiquitous. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capability to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to transform. Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the theory of partnerships. The client-focused CAE factor is six-sigma, next-generation. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. What does it really mean to transform "macro-mega-seamlessly"? We will syndicate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". What does it really mean to benchmark "intra-intuitively"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? The capability to scale wirelessly leads to the ability to scale strategically.