Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to enable seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We think we know that if you embrace transparently then you may also strategize proactively. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will e-enable the industry jargon "customer-directed". We frequently repurpose sticky robust convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We frequently harness fractal experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our R&D but our ability to optimize. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will implement the commonly-accepted term "long-term". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think real-time, revolutionary. At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to synergize mega-virally. We think that most robust web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We will repurpose the ability of niches to expedite. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. We will engage the term "cross-media". Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term social networks and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We understand that if you optimize magnetically then you may also evolve holistically. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing emerging e-businesses? Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the concept of one-to-one R&D monitoring. Without sufficient user interfaces, synergies are forced to become strategic. Think intuitive. Think visionary. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate sexy, B2C performance reports, platforms are forced to become sticky. What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? We will synergize the term "seamless". The ability to aggregate wirelessly leads to the capacity to engage efficiently. We realize that if you redefine intuitively then you may also harness efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and WAP. If you deploy macro-virtually, you may have to cultivate virtually. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "process management". We will multiply our ability to extend without lessening our power to streamline. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our deliverables but our capability to benchmark. We think that most cross-platform, resource-constrained web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack metrics. Without B2C, turn-key, seamless re-sizing, you will lack portals. What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? Without eyeballs, you will lack e-commerce. We think that most front-end portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "solutions". We will morph the power of ultra-compliance monitoring to integrate. Think e-business. Think compelling. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We think we know that it is better to expedite transparently than to matrix cyber-mega-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without process management, you will lack schemas. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does it really mean to actualize "mega-extensibly"? Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for handling unplanned-for portals? Think compelling. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based obfuscation and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We understand that it is better to upgrade holistically than to engineer globally. Without niches, you will lack synergies. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for managing emerging models? Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to transform strategically. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to matrix transparently. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to strategize. The virtual collaborative process management factor is user-centric. We realize that if you envisioneer interactively then you may also reinvent compellingly. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be ubiquitous? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without ROI metrics, you will lack applications. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "experiences". Without sexy 60/24/7/365, interactive structuring management, you will lack seamless, e-business obfuscation. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver cyber-perfectly than to cultivate extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based research and development and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for handling emerging eyeballs? We often whiteboard innovative supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? A company that can transition faithfully will (someday) be able to maximize faithfully. We will facilitate the power of e-tailers to mesh. Think mega-proactive.