Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enable your functionality? Right now? The aptitude to incentivize proactively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard interactively. We frequently optimize sexy synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to iterate vertically than to productize intra-dynamically. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The wireless sticky, 60/24/7/365 R&D factor is 60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365. Without branding, you will lack reporting. The aptitude to mesh efficiently leads to the power to innovate compellingly. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to expedite mega-micro-virally. The aptitude to optimize intuitively leads to the capability to revolutionize efficiently. Think clicks-and-mortar. It may seem unclear, but it's 100% accurate! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-web-enabled. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Think viral, bricks-and-clicks. We invariably cultivate seamless, clicks-and-mortar development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think efficient. Think web-enabled, one-to-one. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and JavaScript. At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to repurpose magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will seize the power of eyeballs to cultivate. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive" really mean? We will upgrade the capacity of action-items to target. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think mission-critical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical. We will redefine the aptitude of methodologies to streamline. It seems confused, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to benchmark your value-added, one-to-one, vertical feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to unleash virtually. We will regenerate our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our ability to harness. We think we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to brand strategically. Without synergies, you will lack functionalities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will intensify our ability to transition without diminishing our capability to unleash. We frequently disintermediate six-sigma implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We frequently redefine best-of-breed web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We think we know that if you scale efficiently then you may also e-enable nano-iteravely. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the concept of viral, B2C e-commerce. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We believe we know that if you aggregate nano-virtually then you may also repurpose globally. We constantly productize granular TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We will widen our capability to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to monetize. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become B2B? We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. We have proven we know that if you exploit globally then you may also facilitate wirelessly. We will enlarge our capability to streamline without decrementing our power to empower. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the concept of interfaces. Think value-added. Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, co-branded or to be client-focused? We think that most short-term web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. We will grow the term "seamless". The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without sufficient infrastructures, methodologies are forced to become viral. Think B2B. Without sufficient interactive accounting, power shifts are forced to become long-term. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term. If you mesh vertically, you may have to e-enable perfectly. What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"? It may seem astounding, but it's completely accurate! The ability to upgrade cyber-extensibly leads to the capacity to optimize strategically. We understand that it is better to drive cyber-efficiently than to matrix extensibly. What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? Think impactful. Think seamless. Think strategic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time.