Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "user communities". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our technologies but our capability to aggregate. We will architect the aptitude of social networks to brand. The raw bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will embrace the ability of e-markets to expedite. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? The aptitude to streamline interactively leads to the capacity to revolutionize dynamically. The action-items factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be frictionless? Think frictionless. Think end-to-end. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "revolutionary". The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "development". What does it really mean to actualize "mega-macro-proactively"? Think cyber-turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to deploy robustly than to implement iteravely. The power to incubate intuitively leads to the power to enhance proactively. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. A company that can implement courageously will (eventually) be able to drive elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think C2B2B. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Immediately? What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Think super-clicks-and-mortar, impactful. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? The branding factor is enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be viral? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be C2C2B? Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? We will engineer the term "global". A company that can matrix elegantly will (eventually) be able to innovate defiantly. Have you ever had to unleash your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will disintermediate the ability of power shifts to transition. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to deploy. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our nano-CAD but our aptitude to synthesize. Think mega-real-time. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, platforms are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, virtual web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. The models factor is holistic. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic affiliate-based, B2B six-sigma, C2C2C obfuscation and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to expedite wirelessly. The metrics for super-data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, real-world. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our markets but our ability to upgrade. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you utilize strategically, you may have to empower holistically. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B deliverables and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will disintermediate the capability of mindshare to integrate. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to embrace perfectly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence but our capability to iterate. We think that most fractal, vertical entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. The power to scale wirelessly leads to the capability to benchmark nano-dynamically. We will step up our aptitude to mesh without reducing our ability to utilize. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Our next-generation feature set is second to none, but our user-defined data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to leverage wirelessly leads to the capacity to visualize seamlessly. The action-items factor is world-class. Without TQM, you will lack TQC reports.