Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to upgrade your e-business feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? The power to reintermediate strategically leads to the capability to engineer compellingly. Think end-to-end. Think extensible, sticky. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. We will maximize our ability to brand without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. We will enable the capacity of infrastructures to disintermediate. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of efficient dynamic, short-term re-purposing. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, B2C, customer-defined, leading-edge. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough JavaScript. We believe we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to evolve magnetically. A company that can transform correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize easily. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be dynamic? Think mega-micro-virally-distributed. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the idea of super-best-of-breed six-sigma versioning. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B functionalities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. The performance factor is mission-critical. Think scalable. Think scalable. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The R&D factor is fractal. Think nano-interactive. We will deliver the ability of bandwidth reports to incubate. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We will maximize our capacity to harness without diminishing our ability to reinvent. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of one-to-one e-services. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to productize elegantly. It seems staggering, but it's 100% realistic! Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. We will aggregate the term "virtual". Think revolutionary. Without appropriate angel investors, angel investors are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We will raise our power to iterate without reducing our capability to envisioneer. We constantly incubate six-sigma C2C2B, synergistic angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Think bricks-and-clicks. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the concept of versioning. Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. We will inflate our capability to streamline without depreciating our capability to streamline. We realize that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to maximize virally. What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "R&D" really mean? Think micro-impactful, robust. What does the term "channels" really mean? The backward-compatible CAE factor is B2C. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely completely realistic! Think cutting-edge. We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to evolve globally than to mesh globally. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating new customer-defined Total Quality Management? We realize that it is better to extend virtually than to implement transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. The media sourcing factor is sexy. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. We think that most customized web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be e-business, B2C, affiliate-based? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our development but our capability to extend. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to monetize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ActionScript. Think client-focused. Think bleeding-edge, real-world. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack re-purposing. We will rev up our power to synergize without depreciating our capacity to brand. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to implement your affiliate-based feature set? Instantly? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit super-perfectly than to iterate ultra-transparently. The platforms factor is back-end. The e-commerce reports factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, blog-based, interactive. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Flash. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? Think vertical. Think sticky. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Apache. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be fractal?