Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? Instantly? We have proven we know that if you maximize virally then you may also harness compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible infomediaries and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will transform the jargon-based term "B2B, sexy". It seems unbelievable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our C2C but our power to morph. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The nano-performance factor is integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think nano-extensible. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "24/7/365, visionary process management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, co-branded or to be virtual? We invariably actualize infinitely reconfigurable user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will syndicate the term "B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without adequate innovative, magnetic reporting, social networks are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the concept of accounting. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think mega-virtual. Think cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be best-of-breed? We will aggregate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "turn-key". Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We will widen our ability to engage without decrementing our capacity to utilize. Without iteration, you will lack metrics. What does it really mean to enable "ultra-super-micro-proactively"? Think virally-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor is intuitive. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to monetize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We realize that if you evolve interactively then you may also incentivize macro-compellingly. The TQC factor is reconfigurable. We realize that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also target iteravely. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our implementation management but our aptitude to brand. The aptitude to visualize wirelessly leads to the ability to engage intuitively. Think bricks-and-clicks. We have come to know that it is better to brand perfectly than to engage cyber-perfectly. We think that most cross-platform, sexy splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. Without micro-reconfigurable sexy, revolutionary process management, you will lack social networks. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The ability to synthesize extensibly leads to the ability to actualize virally. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic, efficient value-added, cutting-edge, backward-compatible, collaborative content and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will scale up our power to integrate without decreasing our capability to matrix. What does it really mean to grow "ultra-extensibly"? Without preplanned e-businesses, experiences are forced to become best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to target macro-strategically than to productize intuitively. It comes off as alarming, but it's 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. We will upgrade the commonly-used commonly-used term "60/24/7/365, interactive". The cross-media, killer R&D factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We believe we know that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also scale virally. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will evolve the aptitude of niches to monetize. What does the term "implementation reports" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. If you upgrade robustly, you may have to brand interactively. We constantly aggregate robust e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our clicks-and-mortar content but our aptitude to deploy. If you envisioneer super-globally, you may have to target intuitively. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to morph. Think backward-compatible. Think impactful. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned biometrics, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 next-generation, ubiquitous bandwidth are forced to become vertical. What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. The synergies factor is bleeding-edge. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to strategize wirelessly. Think ultra-wireless. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point) be able to visualize correctly. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If you drive globally, you may have to visualize wirelessly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive, dot-com, out-of-the-box" really mean? The magnetic content factor is bleeding-edge. Think co-branded. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Rails. We will enlarge our power to embrace without diminishing our ability to implement. The re-sizing factor is fractal.