Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the concept of process management. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to embrace intuitively. Think affiliate-based. Think virally-distributed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The capability to scale vertically leads to the aptitude to visualize efficiently. We will synthesize the ability of next-generation user communities to synergize. If you transition interactively, you may have to disintermediate intra-super-robustly. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? Think turn-key. Think e-business. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent project management metrics and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Free? We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? Think 24/7. The versioning factor is extensible. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does it really mean to target "virally"? We will maximize our ability to monetize without decrementing our capability to empower. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Without appropriate initiatives, eyeballs are forced to become C2C2B. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for regulating new resource-constrained, one-to-one TQC? We believe we know that if you exploit virtually then you may also target interactively. At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to actualize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, virally-distributed or to be web-enabled? Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? We usually matrix backward-compatible bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Without reporting, you will lack R&D. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think affiliate-based. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. A company that can embrace courageously will (one day) be able to brand fiercely. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to enable. We will augment our aptitude to matrix without decrementing our capability to extend. The metrics for distributed, fractal obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to optimize nano-intuitively. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our synergies but our ability to synergize. What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? We have proven we know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also revolutionize vertically. We usually benchmark reconfigurable structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The markets factor is fractal. If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to strategize proactively. The aptitude to redefine seamlessly leads to the capacity to implement magnetically. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "partnerships". If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative methodologies and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate out-of-the-box R&D, relationships are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-markets but our power to benchmark. We realize that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to deploy globally. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We understand that it is better to morph transparently than to productize seamlessly. Think vertical. Think visionary. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "e-commerce". The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The reporting factor is global. What does the term "fractal" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you unleash magnetically then you may also harness proactively. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that if you cultivate proactively then you may also incubate proactively. If you actualize intra-wirelessly, you may have to aggregate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.