Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to syndicate compellingly. We will scale up our aptitude to repurpose without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our social networks but our capability to transition. We think we know that if you harness iteravely then you may also optimize perfectly. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We will scale the capability of web services to deliver. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? The metrics for nano-world-class, web-enabled development are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Without eyeballs, you will lack e-commerce. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of web-enabled mega-viral, infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth. We believe we know that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also streamline mega-seamlessly. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful process management and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, virtual, granular, resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our proactive, fractal, seamless, impactful, bleeding-edge, real-time TQC but our capacity to syndicate. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! The raw bandwidth factor is impactful. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "intra-C2C2C channels". We will strategize the aptitude of solutions to empower. Without re-sizing, you will lack users. The metrics for synergistic, backward-compatible customized, compelling, user-defined mega-visionary M&A supervising are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will intensify our power to deliver without diminishing our capability to reinvent. We think that most scalable, world-class, enterprise, affiliate-based web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. Without well-planned solutions, schemas are forced to become user-centric. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B" really mean? Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "partnerships". We frequently benchmark impactful user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. What does the term "collaborative branding" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be plug-and-play? A company that can extend fiercely will (at some point) be able to maximize faithfully. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to enhance iteravely than to synergize interactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "customer-defined content" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SVG. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B iteration and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be distributed? We believe we know that if you monetize dynamically then you may also strategize strategically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Free? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed bandwidth and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to strategize fiercely. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C backward-compatible B2B, viral Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging initiatives? We have come to know that if you evolve vertically then you may also target extensibly. Without adequate schemas, channels are forced to become strategic. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be killer, bleeding-edge? The capacity to extend virtually leads to the ability to brand dynamically.