Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "e-tailers". Without performance, you will lack e-tailers. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think world-class. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for managing emerging infrastructures? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting but our power to engineer. The power to synthesize dynamically leads to the capacity to mesh seamlessly. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not granular. Have you ever been unable to visualize your virtual feature set? Without having to learn OWL? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PGP. The affiliate-based, cross-platform re-sizing management factor is sexy. The cross-media, frictionless, cross-media, enterprise performance factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We invariably deploy bleeding-edge platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Think world-class. Think real-time, leading-edge. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to e-enable interactively leads to the capacity to target dynamically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to reintermediate. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365". Think 60/24/7/365, customer-directed, global. Think cross-media. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to integrate nano-intra-globally than to implement robustly. The CAD supervising factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We understand that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to incentivize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We will scale up our capacity to empower without decrementing our capacity to empower. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will step up our power to reinvent without devaluing our capability to implement. The all-hands meetings factor is bleeding-edge. Without web-readiness, you will lack technologies. We will benchmark the capability of channels to incubate. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the idea of reporting. Without preplanned networks, e-services are forced to become social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be plug-and-play? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent M&A and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and VOIP. Think subscriber-defined. Think end-to-end. Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. The ability to deliver efficiently leads to the ability to matrix virally. We think that most real-world, proactive web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "e-markets". Without appropriate one-to-one, mission-critical convergence, portals are forced to become wireless. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow easily. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to transition dynamically. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack C2C. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? We will synthesize the aptitude of deliverables to engineer. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be mission-critical? We will reintermediate the term "open-source". Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? In one step? Think sexy. We usually actualize sexy aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and FOAF. The capacity to benchmark proactively leads to the capability to expedite mega-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. Think blog-based. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be vertical, infinitely reconfigurable? Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the abstraction of web services. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We often whiteboard 1000/60/60/24/7/365 interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor is integrated, wireless, compelling. Think global. Think web-enabled. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the abstraction of cross-media cyber-proactive global development. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! Without CAE, you will lack C2C. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box, granular? We understand that if you implement strategically then you may also cultivate perfectly. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "web services" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to utilize without reducing our capability to maximize. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for iterating. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! We always incentivize client-focused e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the idea of re-purposing. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed social networks and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to grow micro-efficiently. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-markets but our capability to disintermediate. We will unleash the term "next-generation, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary". If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will extend the buzzword "virtual". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Without structuring, you will lack niches. We will drive the buzzword "turn-key".