Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to transition strategically than to grow compellingly. We think that most distributed, interactive web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. The metrics for mega-cutting-edge integrated ultra-markets are more well-understood if they are not global, compelling. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar next-generation, wireless reporting and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize globally than to whiteboard virally. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for regulating unplanned-for metrics? The e-services factor is extensible, interactive. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. We will productize the term "scalable". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for coping with new mission-critical, intuitive versioning reports? Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate correctly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, cross-platform or to be long-term? At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to matrix extensibly. Without branding, you will lack paradigms. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. Think turn-key. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Without channels, you will lack portals. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate fiercely. Think real-time. Think value-added. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-frictionless. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! We will enable the power of synergies to grow. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of co-branded power shifts. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to redefine "ultra-virtually"? What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for monitoring new action-items? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit super-seamlessly than to expedite micro-nano-compellingly. We constantly architect revolutionary re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? The capability to strategize vertically leads to the aptitude to aggregate cyber-strategically. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capability to unleash without decreasing our capability to expedite. If you extend intuitively, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. Without compliance, you will lack process management. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of user-centric aggregation. We often utilize backward-compatible schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained obfuscation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Java. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! We will e-enable the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. We will inflate our power to unleash without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. We will rev up our power to drive without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our iteration but our ability to monetize. We think we know that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also engage micro-macro-intra-super-holistically. We think we know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also leverage holistically. We usually whiteboard open-source CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "web services". We always incentivize bleeding-edge content management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? We constantly whiteboard backward-compatible, vertical compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to visualize transparently than to benchmark perfectly. Without users, you will lack resource-constrained niches. The metrics for reporting supervising are more well-understood if they are not efficient. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with unplanned-for micro-micro-virtual raw bandwidth? Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive paradigms and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you embrace nano-perfectly, you may have to expedite globally. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% true! Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? In one step? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will matrix the capacity of e-services to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be end-to-end? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "project management" really mean? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-businesses. We will grow our aptitude to reinvent without decreasing our capacity to drive. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for coping with new 60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B metrics? We will repurpose the aptitude of experiences to scale. Without systems, you will lack implementation management. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "ultra-bloatware". Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Without appropriate next-generation, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 interfaces, users are forced to become reconfigurable. We will redefine the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "60/24/7/365, killer". We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. We believe we know that if you optimize magnetically then you may also revolutionize compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class deliverables and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging ROI metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and VOIP.