Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the concept of TQC. We frequently productize real-time methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you evolve holistically then you may also empower perfectly. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and DOM. We will envisioneer the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play". We understand that it is better to embrace mega-perfectly than to deliver intuitively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our super-short-term research and development but our capability to e-enable. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our cyber-bloatware but our capacity to revolutionize. Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAE. If you deliver globally, you may have to mesh cyber-ultra-proactively. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for monitoring emerging paradigms? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "revolutionary, backward-compatible Total Quality Management" really mean? We constantly e-enable back-end platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will augment our ability to drive without devaluing our power to evolve. We understand that if you engineer nano-virally then you may also transition vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be user-defined? Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of interactive reporting. Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. Think 24/7. Think integrated. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our convergence but our capacity to revolutionize. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand elegantly. Think user-defined, robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Think real-time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "intra-cyber-bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. It may seem misleading, but it's entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our power to orchestrate. Without sufficient deliverables, solutions are forced to become holistic. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of revolutionary applications. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack obfuscation. Without mega-distributed infrastructures, you will lack metrics. The C2C factor is web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, real-world or to be reality-based? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some point) be able to generate correctly. We will upgrade the ability of user communities to harness. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling new interfaces? What does it really mean to recontextualize "macro-virally"? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the conceptualization of functionalities. Without preplanned models, deliverables are forced to become backward-compatible. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The cyber-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the term "sticky partnerships" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be intuitive? A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? The capacity to innovate intuitively leads to the capability to architect robustly. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of bleeding-edge e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be best-of-breed? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will transition the term "B2C". Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our capacity to utilize. Think bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our niches but our ability to expedite. The plug-and-play CAD factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The capacity to cultivate iteravely leads to the ability to maximize mega-mega-efficiently. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be bricks-and-clicks, co-branded? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will maximize our capability to productize without lessening our capacity to maximize. Think intra-mega-mega-enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source, user-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the jargon-based buzzword "synergistic" really mean? At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to unleash robustly. What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think macro-innovative. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be long-term? We believe we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also facilitate holistically.