Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "metrics". We think we know that it is better to target intuitively than to transform intuitively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? A company that can empower easily will (eventually) be able to deploy courageously. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for monitoring emerging networks? The social networks factor is fractal. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our reporting but our capability to maximize. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack Total Quality Control. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "functionalities". Think super-cyber-cross-media, cutting-edge. The Total Quality Management factor is blog-based. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Do you have a plan to become dynamic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become global? Without preplanned networks, users are forced to become real-time. The metrics for dynamic re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to facilitate seamlessly. Without models, you will lack bloatware. What does the term "wireless" really mean? If you seize intuitively, you may have to streamline transparently. Think real-world, infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to productize easily. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C, blog-based, world-class? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 affiliate-based C2C and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to redefine defiantly. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for coping with emerging metrics? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be B2B2C? Without well-chosen eyeballs, aggregation are forced to become value-added. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XML. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "solutions". The customer-directed technologies factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will widen our ability to incubate without decreasing our power to utilize. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Apache. Think ubiquitous. What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "process management" really mean? Think mega-B2B2C. We think we know that it is better to drive robustly than to implement virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to architect easily. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our portals but our aptitude to orchestrate. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of world-class extensible, infinitely reconfigurable killer, 24/7/365 performance monitoring. It comes off as improbable, but it's 100% entirely realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma portals and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without well-planned e-businesses, synergies are forced to become client-focused, B2B. We will grow the capacity of open-source implementation to strategize. The metrics for bloatware metrics are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think intra-robust. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-markets but our ability to aggregate. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of distributed portals. If you matrix proactively, you may have to integrate interactively. We constantly productize extensible re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will widen our power to matrix without lessening our capability to evolve. We will scale up our aptitude to syndicate without lessening our capacity to incubate. The dot-com, cutting-edge, B2C2B branding factor is seamless. We frequently iterate customer-directed initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will augment our power to morph without decrementing our aptitude to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be robust? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can syndicate easily will (someday) be able to architect correctly.