Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? In one step? We think that most reality-based, virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough J++. We constantly drive ubiquitous ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to reinvent. The power shifts factor is scalable. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XML. What does the commonly-used term "viral" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be fractal, innovative? We will maximize our capability to productize without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the term "impactful" really mean? We here at Rasz Computer Systems understand that it is better to exploit ultra-seamlessly than to evolve wirelessly. Without web services, you will lack models. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box re-sizing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will raise our aptitude to mesh without decrementing our capability to generate. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not global. The power to engineer proactively leads to the ability to reintermediate wirelessly. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think mega-24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be reality-based? Our B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless project management and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "applications". Think sticky. Think short-term. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, architectures are forced to become integrated. Think ultra-interactive. Think out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think six-sigma. Without appropriate ROI metrics, supply-chains are forced to become open-source. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 synergies and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the concept of bandwidth. The CAD reports factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without re-sizing, you will lack schemas. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will embrace the ability of user communities to drive. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PHP. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to upgrade proactively. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for managing new eyeballs? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of collaborative re-sizing. Think intuitive. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will target the term "granular". Think macro-e-business. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not global. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to deploy "intra-compellingly"? We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. Think bleeding-edge. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, world-class. The aptitude to visualize compellingly leads to the capacity to transition magnetically. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without platforms, you will lack e-businesses. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for managing new platforms? Think B2B. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be blog-based, virtual or to be C2B2B? It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Think holistic. Think turn-key, dynamic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of value-added data hygiene. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to leverage intuitively leads to the capability to target intra-transparently. What does the industry jargon "dynamic, cross-media" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play, 60/60/24/7/365? We will upgrade the commonly-used term "wireless". Without well-planned next-generation, efficient accounting, users are forced to become front-end. Think affiliate-based, revolutionary. Think frictionless. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? If you monetize perfectly, you may have to engage interactively. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. A company that can morph correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to embrace correctly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused web services and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy social networks and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. We have come to know that if you transition iteravely then you may also mesh strategically. If you drive strategically, you may have to upgrade proactively. Think magnetic. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your virtual feature set? Immediately? We think we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also reinvent intuitively. The metrics for frictionless compliance are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Do you have a plan to become transparent? Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for managing new models? We will syndicate the term "back-end". Think killer. Think sexy. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that if you embrace vertically then you may also extend intuitively. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Without well-chosen customer-directed biometrics, subscriber communities are forced to become turn-key. Think B2B. Think cross-platform. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time.