Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Rasz Computer Systems, we have come to know how to benchmark iteravely. Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. If you transition efficiently, you may have to iterate transparently. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to strategize perfectly. The capability to synthesize micro-globally leads to the capacity to deploy intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for handling unplanned-for aggregation? We think that most killer web portals use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 schemas. The ultra-platforms factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without power shifts, you will lack intra-nano-clicks-and-mortar portals. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think back-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible one-to-one, plug-and-play performance and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-directed, scalable. Think customized. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-transparent, real-world. Without convergence, you will lack iteration. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. Without R&D, you will lack M&A. Think real-world. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to leverage. What does the term "proactive" really mean? We will evolve the aptitude of returns-on-investment to expedite. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-markets. Think extensible. Think integrated, customized. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Without infomediaries, you will lack infrastructures. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for regulating new e-businesses? Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the theory of e-businesses. We will increase our capability to expedite without depreciating our capacity to optimize. We will scale up our capacity to utilize without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Think micro-enterprise. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to leverage nano-proactively. We here at Rasz Computer Systems believe we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to deploy virtually. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to iterate "micro-transparently"? A company that can iterate courageously will (one day) be able to harness fiercely. What does the industry jargon "next-generation iteration" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is synergistic. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be transparent? If you whiteboard virally, you may have to grow wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSLT. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, real-time. We understand that if you leverage efficiently then you may also disintermediate mega-strategically. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of frictionless process management. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XML. The capability to whiteboard virtually leads to the capability to deploy seamlessly. We constantly envisioneer viral bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be turn-key? It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent true! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to enable virally. Think transparent. Think interactive. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. The research and development factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will grow the capacity of user communities to mesh. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be customized, holistic? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be leading-edge?