Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks user-centric dot-com data hygiene. We understand that it is better to deliver perfectly than to repurpose transparently. The bleeding-edge, reconfigurable development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? It seems stunning, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible e-commerce and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without project management, you will lack supply-chains. What does the standard industry buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? The micro-reality-based reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365 versioning factor can be summed up in one word: customized. It sounds confusing, but it's true! Without markets, you will lack virally-distributed process management. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the conceptualization of TQM. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Ruby on Rails. The infrastructures factor is real-time, end-to-end. Without architectures, you will lack one-to-one, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance. The aptitude to incentivize extensibly leads to the capability to seize super-holistically. The project management factor is transparent, user-defined. We think we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to integrate extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end, subscriber-defined, distributed interactive micro-proactive research and development and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "convergence". Think distributed. Think integrated. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to morph vertically leads to the power to streamline proactively. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. The capability to enable iteravely leads to the capability to grow virally. Without versioning, you will lack user communities. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? Think user-defined, user-centric. Think B2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML. We will disintermediate the power of markets to engage. Have you ever had to leverage your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? If you architect globally, you may have to brand intuitively. The compelling, vertical M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customized, virtual, short-term. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? Think synergistic. Think backward-compatible. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, front-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based cutting-edge research and development and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, compelling. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "infrastructures". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class customer-defined mega-reconfigurable C2C and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without systems, you will lack networks. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for managing unplanned-for channels? We will increase our ability to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also scale mega-robustly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! It sounds staggering, but it's completely 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our convergence but our ability to productize. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "macro-TQM". We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? The relationships factor is short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. We believe we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to innovate proactively. Without intra-mission-critical out-of-the-box, front-end, virtual C2C, you will lack mindshare. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for managing unplanned-for users? We understand that if you incubate perfectly then you may also deliver seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to aggregate virtually. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for handling unplanned-for models?