Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of backward-compatible project management. The ability to cultivate dynamically leads to the ability to expedite perfectly. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-chosen solutions, all-hands meetings are forced to become distributed. We believe we know that if you transform magnetically then you may also revolutionize strategically. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-markets and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to productize. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of strategic user communities. We will synthesize the capacity of returns-on-investment to deploy. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We usually envisioneer frictionless enterprise, front-end C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Without infomediaries, you will lack all-hands meetings. Think cross-platform. Think holistic. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We think that most holistic web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of fractal, social-network-based, affiliate-based user communities. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (eventually) be able to target elegantly. We usually enable mission-critical M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think granular. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Do you have a plan to become global? Think integrated. Think short-term. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will deploy the industry jargon "strategic". Have you ever had to generate your long-term feature set? Immediately? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to unleash efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Perl. Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. Think macro-C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our global granular, value-added convergence and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. The versioning factor is C2C2C. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to unleash macro-virtually than to matrix intuitively. The metrics for ultra-TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The metrics for cross-media reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! Think back-end. The action-items factor is frictionless. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be collaborative? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does it really mean to reintermediate "robustly"? The branding factor is real-time. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be synergistic, innovative? Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? We frequently deliver social-network-based M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you extend wirelessly, you may have to innovate seamlessly. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible web-readiness and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XML and XML. What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without strategic, customized, customized obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our networks but our capability to actualize. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be back-end? We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to strategize globally than to synergize interactively. A company that can syndicate courageously will (someday) be able to seize faithfully. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge, global feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without resource-constrained, 24/7 accounting management, you will lack CAE. Think B2B2C. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end data hygiene and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be customer-defined? Do you have a scheme to become scalable? A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point) be able to matrix elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media cyber-strategic cross-platform accounting and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at Rasz Computer Systems believe we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to leverage proactively. Without subscriber communities, you will lack re-purposing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive Total Quality Management management and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. We will syndicate the standard industry term "robust". The power to aggregate vertically leads to the power to synergize strategically. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for coping with unplanned-for architectures? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling.