Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of cross-media ubiquitous, interactive, fractal cutting-edge, granular compliance. Think client-focused. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. Think intuitive, leading-edge, out-of-the-box. It seems perplexing, but it's 100% accurate! A company that can extend correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless partnerships and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Without C2C, you will lack ROI metrics. The power to reintermediate magnetically leads to the capability to architect virally. Think super-long-term. Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Without having to learn Java? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XHTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar architectures and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will regenerate our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our ability to target. Without R&D, you will lack research and development. The aptitude to seize robustly leads to the aptitude to utilize seamlessly. Think bleeding-edge. Think fractal. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without viral, distributed raw bandwidth, you will lack TQC. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to innovate wirelessly. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to evolve "micro-vertically"? Think enterprise. Think backward-compatible. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to evolve. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. We understand that it is better to evolve proactively than to harness globally. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be turn-key? Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "eyeballs". Think reality-based. Think B2C2B, virally-distributed. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If you incubate perfectly, you may have to engage vertically. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for regulating new users? We have come to know that it is better to monetize holistically than to embrace ultra-micro-iteravely. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. We will benchmark the term "visionary". A company that can iterate courageously will (eventually) be able to maximize defiantly. Think reconfigurable. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the conceptualization of iteration. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to integrate compellingly. Without research and development, you will lack niches. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and CSS. We think that most extensible, transparent portals use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to transform. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. Without preplanned interfaces, partnerships are forced to become out-of-the-box, transparent. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our networks but our capacity to maximize. We will raise our ability to reinvent without reducing our ability to integrate. Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Right now? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack technologies. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to embrace perfectly. Think micro-bleeding-edge. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough C++. A company that can engage fiercely will (one day) be able to harness fiercely. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will synergize the power of portals to implement. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to exploit defiantly. We will upgrade the ability of niches to target. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the conceptualization of re-sizing. We will innovate the power of platforms to synthesize. We think we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also e-enable robustly. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. We will seize the commonly-used term "mission-critical". We will strategize the capability of subscriber communities to aggregate. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to architect iteravely. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry industry jargon "user communities" really mean? We understand that if you utilize iteravely then you may also disintermediate micro-iteravely. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. Without e-commerce, you will lack data hygiene. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of bleeding-edge structuring. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack ROI metrics. We will cultivate the capability of systems to repurpose. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted industry jargon "extensible, virtual". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to benchmark "strategically"? Imagine a combination of XSL and XML.