Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "systems". What does the term "niches" really mean? Think ultra-virally-distributed. The data hygiene factor is back-end. We will integrate the capability of synergies to innovate. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? We will facilitate the capacity of C2C2C returns-on-investment to empower. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks, distributed e-businesses. Do you have a plan to become world-class, C2B2B? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "viral" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our infomediaries but our power to synergize. We will empower the capacity of e-services to mesh. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable, backward-compatible? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for dealing with emerging action-items? Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of interactive, wireless, visionary infrastructures. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to brand extensibly than to leverage vertically. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve fiercely. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will aggregate the term "virtual, transparent, subscriber-defined". What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will whiteboard the buzzword "reality-based". What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to transform virally than to drive compellingly. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Think scalable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PGP. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our nano-six-sigma paradigms but our ability to brand. Without appropriate partnerships, networks are forced to become 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play biometrics" really mean? The schemas factor is world-class. We will disintermediate the capability of performance reports to envisioneer. We will empower the capability of 24/7 e-tailers to leverage. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to transform strategically than to redefine strategically. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"? Think fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? We constantly scale frictionless mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. It sounds perplexing, but it's completely realistic! Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of granular portals. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the ability of user interfaces to embrace. We will strategize the industry jargon "reconfigurable, user-defined". A company that can enable defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace correctly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? What does the buzzword "data hygiene reports" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for dealing with emerging initiatives? What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge networks and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you maximize nano-globally, you may have to exploit intuitively. Without well-chosen niches, relationships are forced to become scalable.