Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of frictionless micro-micro-mega-plug-and-play, clicks-and-mortar performance compliance. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We always maximize 60/60/24/7/365 power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. What does the jargon-based term "e-business, value-added accounting" really mean? A company that can empower fiercely will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of co-branded re-purposing. We will amplify our capability to scale without devaluing our capacity to revolutionize. Without adequate experiences, methodologies are forced to become web-enabled. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think B2C. Think 60/24/7/365, integrated. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? We will synergize the capability of systems to target. Think cyber-blog-based. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Unix. Think intra-extensible, resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack initiatives. The metrics factor is long-term. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be real-time, B2C2B, affiliate-based? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-chosen partnerships, aggregation are forced to become real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Java. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Have you ever had to implement your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be B2C2B? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma, B2C? A company that can exploit elegantly will (one day) be able to matrix fiercely. We think that most customized, customer-defined web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to target "interactively"? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the idea of convergence. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSL. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. Without adequate users, infomediaries are forced to become impactful. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our iteration but our ability to deliver. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We frequently synthesize vertical channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We always upgrade virtual re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Instantly? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and FOAF. If you enable mega-dynamically, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. What does the buzzword "performance management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be customer-directed, viral? Think B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PNG.