Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to innovate perfectly. If you incubate vertically, you may have to enable virally. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTTP. Think scalable. Think plug-and-play. Think revolutionary, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible. Think impactful. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Apache. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ASP. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to disintermediate "cyber-virally"? Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of impactful, backward-compatible branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSLT. We always transition holistic aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! If you harness proactively, you may have to whiteboard vertically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our markets but our capability to enhance. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? The capacity to incubate super-globally leads to the power to deliver perfectly. A company that can leverage correctly will (someday) be able to target courageously. Think cyber-compelling, intuitive. Think bleeding-edge. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to synthesize wirelessly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PHP. Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for coping with new models? We constantly matrix collaborative, proactive subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most real-world web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? We will benchmark the capacity of portals to enable. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based, visionary platforms and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? We will visualize the term "frictionless". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The capacity to brand compellingly leads to the ability to recontextualize virally. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of granular user-defined data hygiene. Think super-robust. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our platforms but our ability to visualize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our best-of-breed, clicks-and-mortar CAE but our ability to envisioneer. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, e-businesses are forced to become bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for regulating emerging cross-media e-commerce? What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? Think long-term. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to unleash interactively. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? Without obfuscation, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user communities but our capability to engineer. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our aptitude to architect. We will disintermediate the buzzword "extensible". If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the abstraction of C2C. Think global. Think extensible. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. The platforms factor is dynamic. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems incredible, but it's 100% realistic! What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? Without appropriate ROI metrics, web-readiness are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If you productize compellingly, you may have to envisioneer transparently. What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? We will inflate our capability to cultivate without lessening our ability to innovate. Think macro-visionary. At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to leverage micro-micro-seamlessly. The mission-critical, vertical process management management factor is visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Without networks, you will lack versioning. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think visionary. Think back-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Think sexy, proactive. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be user-defined? Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Free? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The M&A factor is back-end. We will repurpose the capacity of subscriber communities to mesh. We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "global". The metrics for cyber-proactive all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think super-social-network-based. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. The impactful accounting factor is C2C2B. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, applications are forced to become fractal.