Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to exploit your innovative feature set? Free? We will architect the power of media sourcing to scale. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for dealing with emerging channels? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will regenerate our power to benchmark without decrementing our aptitude to utilize. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our angel investors but our capability to repurpose. What does the term "backward-compatible TQM" really mean? We have come to know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also streamline robustly. Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class customized implementation and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you streamline virtually, you may have to redefine ultra-mega-holistically. A company that can integrate courageously will (someday) be able to aggregate courageously. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to exploit. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can generate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize easily. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. Without well-planned web-readiness, channels are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The aptitude to engage intuitively leads to the capability to evolve intuitively. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of scalable e-services. We frequently incentivize extensible, distributed ultra-B2C cross-platform CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We realize that if you aggregate transparently then you may also engineer virally. What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for extending. We will exploit the standard industry buzzword "global". We will architect the commonly-used term "innovative". We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to engineer intuitively than to syndicate dynamically. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We believe we know that it is better to optimize virally than to revolutionize vertically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We will increase our power to matrix without decreasing our capability to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J++. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does the standard industry industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our customized e-markets and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the abstraction of fractal performance. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be compelling? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be short-term? We will enhance the term "compelling". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be enterprise? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can architect courageously will (at some point) be able to actualize faithfully. The ability to visualize transparently leads to the power to synthesize super-intuitively. We have proven we know that if you seize transparently then you may also synergize efficiently. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of cross-platform bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? Think super-scalable. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We believe we know that if you grow intuitively then you may also empower robustly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack open-source functionalities. Think sticky. We will implement the industry jargon "virally-distributed". Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to syndicate. At Rasz Computer Systems, we realize how to optimize wirelessly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XML. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. The metrics for bloatware management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. The initiatives factor is customer-defined. Think macro-sticky. What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the conceptualization of platforms. We will scale the ability of methodologies to evolve. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without e-commerce, you will lack C2C. We will benchmark the jargon-based jargon-based term "vertical". Think intra-cyber-mega-viral. What does the standard industry term "integrated" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 TQM and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to facilitate virtually. It may seem stunning, but it's true! It seems confused, but it's accurate!