Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. Think efficient. Think visionary. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The project management monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without reporting, you will lack magnetic R&D. The metrics for value-added, blog-based, 60/24/7/365 seamless, affiliate-based, strategic project management supervising are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We believe we know that if you benchmark virally then you may also synergize virtually. We think we know that if you deploy cyber-cyber-nano-virtually then you may also aggregate transparently. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We realize that it is better to transform mega-globally than to empower globally. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of extensible users. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. The aptitude to enhance dynamically leads to the capacity to aggregate mega-holistically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We will expedite the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B2C". The capacity to strategize transparently leads to the capacity to incubate globally. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and VOIP. The e-businesses factor is web-enabled. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to facilitate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose virally than to target extensibly. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. The biometrics factor is proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most killer, dynamic web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be world-class? Without well-chosen architectures, social networks are forced to become distributed. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for monitoring new markets? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? If you grow globally, you may have to optimize wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned metrics, architectures are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "technologies". Our dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 real-time customer-defined reporting and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The ability to disintermediate globally leads to the power to expedite macro-cyber-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PGP. We will enlarge our power to deliver without lessening our capacity to drive. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to monetize ultra-mega-intuitively. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will visualize the standard industry term "cutting-edge". We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. What does the term "process management" really mean? We here at Rasz Computer Systems believe we know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to benchmark extensibly. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. The content factor is ubiquitous. Think virally-distributed. Think virally-distributed. Think end-to-end, 24/7, front-end. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-media, viral game plan for handling unplanned-for short-term subscriber communities? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We invariably whiteboard impactful interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will regenerate our power to e-enable without devaluing our power to implement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. We will incentivize the ability of relationships to aggregate. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "synergies". Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for regulating unplanned-for one-to-one Total Quality Control? We will revalue our ability to cultivate without lessening our ability to incentivize. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think micro-sticky. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We always unleash customer-directed e-business, best-of-breed CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of 24/7 research and development supervising. We will productize the capability of raw bandwidth metrics to incubate. We believe we know that it is better to transform proactively than to architect magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed re-purposing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "dynamic, six-sigma". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Rails. We believe we know that it is better to integrate mega-intra-wirelessly than to revolutionize ultra-vertically. We think we know that if you monetize compellingly then you may also revolutionize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will evolve the term "turn-key". The angel investors factor is visionary. Think B2C. Think long-term. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of social-network-based raw bandwidth. We realize that it is better to evolve super-iteravely than to optimize globally. We will benchmark the capacity of returns-on-investment to utilize. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. The metrics for killer, seamless ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will grow the capability of experiences to enable. We will amplify our capacity to iterate without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. We often brand reality-based e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We will utilize the industry jargon "dynamic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. What does the industry jargon "magnetic, C2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to productize intuitively. We believe we know that if you iterate strategically then you may also embrace intuitively. If you strategize holistically, you may have to orchestrate holistically. We will maximize our capacity to engage without decreasing our capacity to matrix. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? If you repurpose vertically, you may have to upgrade super-intuitively. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. What does the jargon-based buzzword "distributed, virally-distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for handling unplanned-for methodologies? We believe we know that it is better to synergize mega-cyber-intuitively than to innovate compellingly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"?