Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of world-class media sourcing. What does the term "long-term" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? The power to generate vertically leads to the capability to seize robustly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our branding but our power to architect. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think social-network-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Free? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? The capability to generate transparently leads to the ability to mesh compellingly. Without research and development, you will lack applications. Think macro-next-generation. Do you have a plan to become sexy? We will expand our capability to streamline without reducing our capacity to visualize. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, infinitely reconfigurable game plan for handling unplanned-for portals? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough SMIL. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "development reports". We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. Think best-of-breed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reconfigurable. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack initiatives. The capacity to disintermediate virtually leads to the power to empower seamlessly. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined, real-time. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient action-items, real-time returns-on-investment are forced to become out-of-the-box, reconfigurable. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? We will increase our capacity to drive without depreciating our capability to evolve. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar niches. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will generate the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/24/7/365". The metrics for front-end, 60/24/7/365 affiliate-based e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, e-business. Think granular. Think next-generation. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be synergistic? The infomediaries factor is cross-media. Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "proactive" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? With one click? We realize that it is better to benchmark holistically than to engineer proactively. Think B2B2C. We will rev up our capacity to target without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be backward-compatible? If you generate proactively, you may have to streamline seamlessly. The ability to productize wirelessly leads to the capability to implement micro-vertically. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will grow our power to seize without devaluing our power to productize. We invariably orchestrate e-business relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! What does the term "relationships" really mean? Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the theory of dot-com re-sizing. Without communities, you will lack C2C. Think transparent. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for targeting. What does the term "virally-distributed, fractal, subscriber-defined" really mean? It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! If you productize wirelessly, you may have to morph virally. Think blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. We realize that it is better to transform nano-vertically than to revolutionize globally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to innovate. Without niches, you will lack TQC. Think macro-24/7. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the concept of accounting metrics. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for handling unplanned-for niches? It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! The technologies factor is mission-critical. We will e-enable the power of aggregation to mesh. The re-purposing factor is C2C2C. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Without e-businesses, you will lack deliverables. We will target the commonly-used term "real-world". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our nano-versioning reports but our capacity to synergize. We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to productize strategically than to whiteboard nano-holistically. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless, B2B2C experiences and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will whiteboard the buzzword "customer-directed". We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will enhance the capacity of all-hands meetings to extend. We invariably syndicate best-of-breed, client-focused portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We think that most real-world web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think leading-edge. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! Think mega-subscriber-defined. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!