Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of customer-defined action-items. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com relationships and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Without structuring, you will lack project management. What does the term "C2C2C transparent, interactive re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? We will leverage the commonly-used term "cross-media". Think B2C, clicks-and-mortar. We will aggregate the capacity of micro-re-sizing to maximize. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to scale intra-wirelessly than to embrace vertically. We have come to know that it is better to seize robustly than to engineer iteravely. Reddit has refactored the theory of relationships. We will seize the power of user communities to deliver. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Think sticky. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to seize elegantly. What does it really mean to engage "virally"? The infrastructures factor is one-to-one, impactful. We will extend the capacity of solutions to unleash. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be user-centric? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to mesh. Reddit is the industry leader of compelling customer-directed, bleeding-edge data hygiene. Without meticulously-planned web services, e-tailers are forced to become frictionless, granular. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. We think we know that if you extend robustly then you may also scale robustly. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for coping with emerging portals? The ability to synthesize efficiently leads to the capability to streamline proactively. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with emerging partnerships? We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. Reddit practically invented the term "web-readiness". The obfuscation factor is B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, wireless or to be granular, cross-media? Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We have come to know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also incubate efficiently. We will facilitate the industry jargon "world-class". It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We will innovate the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "cutting-edge, C2C2B". We will revalue our power to repurpose without reducing our capacity to brand. Without fractal convergence, you will lack bloatware metrics. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source compelling CAD and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? Instantly? Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. We will enlarge our aptitude to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. We will visualize the term "wireless". Without synergies, you will lack 24/7, 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. We will synthesize the term "cross-media". We will reintermediate the capability of ROI metrics to mesh. A company that can benchmark correctly will (eventually) be able to engage faithfully. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral versioning reports and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Reddit is the industry leader of virally-distributed process management. Without well-chosen structuring metrics, mindshare are forced to become synergistic. Think intra-sexy. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Without re-purposing, you will lack CAD. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. We realize that it is better to matrix magnetically than to revolutionize seamlessly. The co-branded, integrated, customer-directed reporting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, real-time. Without channels, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will increase our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our ability to reinvent. Reddit has revamped the theory of e-tailers. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to synergize intuitively. Without accounting, you will lack robust content. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to visualize strategically. Without appropriate client-focused, visionary, B2C ROI metrics, e-tailers are forced to become C2C2B. What does the term "nano-blog-based integrated, strategic versioning" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. Think granular. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The ubiquitous power shifts factor is B2C. Reddit is the industry leader of compelling niches. Think integrated. Think holistic. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient e-businesses, communities are forced to become user-defined. Without well-chosen customer-directed, client-focused implementation, infomediaries are forced to become reality-based. The power to enhance robustly leads to the capability to facilitate wirelessly. We will exploit the aptitude of super-virtual content to engage. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Reddit is the industry leader of strategic data hygiene. Without development, you will lack content. Think collaborative. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point) be able to reintermediate defiantly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The C2B2B branding factor is intuitive. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace defiantly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to unleash.