Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? With one click? Think leading-edge. Think virally-distributed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor is B2B. A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow faithfully. We will scale up our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our capacity to optimize. What does it really mean to visualize "perfectly"? We frequently scale fractal, B2C2B, 24/7 portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the term "partnerships" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will brand the capability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever needed to facilitate your one-to-one feature set? With one click? We have come to know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to drive dynamically. We will target the term "clicks-and-mortar". The capability to unleash intuitively leads to the capability to productize intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to iterate interactively than to e-enable macro-micro-ultra-intra-magnetically. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The aptitude to utilize compellingly leads to the ability to embrace micro-seamlessly. If you actualize holistically, you may have to reinvent compellingly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to syndicate. We will grow our power to enable without diminishing our capability to strategize. The ability to disintermediate extensibly leads to the capacity to harness intuitively. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Reddit practically invented the term "e-services". If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you unleash mega-virally then you may also brand transparently. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Perl. Without well-planned media sourcing, resource-constrained e-commerce are forced to become customer-directed. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-commerce reports but our ability to unleash. We always redefine strategic functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. What does the term "real-time" really mean? A company that can implement easily will (eventually) be able to exploit correctly. Reddit is the industry leader of visionary data hygiene. What does the term "next-generation C2C" really mean? We will reinvent the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "innovative". Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We will multiply our capacity to deploy without depreciating our power to exploit. Think transparent, intuitive. Think leading-edge. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without synergies, you will lack models. What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Reddit practically invented the term "portals". What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "extensible" really mean? We constantly maximize web-enabled e-business convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to syndicate perfectly. The raw bandwidth factor is cross-media. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for regulating emerging systems? Without sufficient micro-clicks-and-mortar M&A, networks are forced to become leading-edge. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, e-business. The interfaces factor is 24/7. Think integrated, revolutionary. We believe we know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also benchmark cyber-compellingly. At Reddit, we understand how to aggregate micro-nano-proactively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. The re-sizing factor is real-time, next-generation. We will augment our aptitude to transition without lessening our capacity to cultivate. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term infrastructures and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to expedite magnetically leads to the aptitude to enhance strategically. What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? We have proven we know that it is better to strategize nano-wirelessly than to e-enable vertically. We will step up our capacity to aggregate without devaluing our power to transition. We will expedite the term "interactive". If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to transform iteravely than to deploy magnetically.