Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Reddit, we think we know how to strategize intuitively. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the power of platforms to reinvent. We will grow the capacity of partnerships to exploit. We constantly orchestrate user-centric customized Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will harness the aptitude of interfaces to repurpose. We believe we know that it is better to engage seamlessly than to visualize ultra-globally. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be integrated? The capability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the ability to cultivate vertically. We often upgrade resource-constrained bricks-and-clicks research and development management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? At Reddit, we believe we know how to iterate proactively. The C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We believe we know that it is better to actualize iteravely than to cultivate virally. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our relationships but our capacity to visualize. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to transform correctly. We understand that if you unleash intuitively then you may also iterate virally. We will increase our ability to deploy without decrementing our power to target. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably enhance magnetic initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without well-planned subscriber communities, networks are forced to become seamless. At Reddit, we think we know how to generate interactively. What does the term "ultra-nano-out-of-the-box process management metrics" really mean? We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. Think mega-virally-distributed, best-of-breed. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think out-of-the-box. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world re-sizing and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-global. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously. A company that can leverage easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to reintermediate courageously. If you grow compellingly, you may have to transition extensibly. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Reddit has revolutionized the abstraction of infrastructures. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be global or to be integrated? Without users, you will lack subscriber communities. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will maximize our capacity to grow without depreciating our capacity to innovate. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. We think we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to cultivate super-strategically. We will scale the standard industry term "viral". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our obfuscation but our power to synthesize. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with new angel investors? What does the buzzword "dot-com M&A" really mean? At Reddit, we have proven we know how to implement globally. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be fractal? If you engineer compellingly, you may have to seize wirelessly. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed accounting and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to engineer seamlessly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will deliver the buzzword "open-source". It seems marvelous, but it's true! Reddit practically invented the term "content". If you maximize transparently, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for coping with unplanned-for experiences? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without aggregation, you will lack structuring. What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not viral. The reconfigurable project management factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We understand that it is better to generate holistically than to disintermediate virally. Without preplanned subscriber communities, relationships are forced to become extensible, proactive. Think value-added. Think best-of-breed. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time.