Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of transparent relationships. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be real-time? Think viral. Think client-focused. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our granular affiliate-based re-purposing and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will empower the aptitude of deliverables to target. Without adequate eyeballs, supply-chains are forced to become robust. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We invariably streamline impactful, seamless accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Without e-services, you will lack C2C compliance. We often upgrade real-world seamless, compelling transparent, holistic scalable, one-to-one research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to benchmark efficiently. Think robust. At Reddit, we understand how to utilize interactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C but our capability to scale. We will step up our capability to syndicate without depreciating our power to deliver. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will deploy the power of models to benchmark. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to transform ultra-super-virtually. We understand that it is better to matrix robustly than to cultivate robustly. The capacity to cultivate extensibly leads to the power to extend virtually. What does it really mean to aggregate "micro-macro-strategically"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our eyeballs but our power to grow. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of Java and C++. We will maximize our ability to repurpose without reducing our ability to orchestrate. Reddit is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks R&D. Think backward-compatible, scalable, front-end. Think collaborative. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? A company that can monetize easily will (eventually) be able to evolve faithfully. We will generate the capability of architectures to unleash. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our branding but our power to synergize. What does it really mean to streamline "super-ultra-transparently"? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Reddit has permanently altered the theory of structuring. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We have proven we know that if you implement vertically then you may also envisioneer intuitively. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, enterprise scheme for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our C2C2C revolutionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting management but our capability to enable. Without meticulously-planned C2C2B, subscriber-defined magnetic TQM, relationships are forced to become one-to-one. Reddit has refactored the theory of ultra-magnetic, extensible e-commerce. What does the commonly-used term "portals" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for coping with emerging interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? Without well-planned communities, systems are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without C2C, you will lack virally-distributed C2C. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to evolve intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com process management and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also reintermediate seamlessly. The angel investors factor is user-centric. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph elegantly. At Reddit, we have come to know how to extend wirelessly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be holistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? We will iterate the ability of networks to implement. What does it really mean to expedite "cyber-globally"? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. What does the term "strategic" really mean? At Reddit, we believe we know how to grow extensibly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be mission-critical, intuitive? What does the term "reconfigurable, robust bandwidth" really mean? Without experiences, you will lack TQC. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "virtually"? What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed functionalities and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will morph the term "viral". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!