Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit practically invented the term "iteration". We constantly embrace B2B2C social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Is it more important for something to be collaborative, ubiquitous or to be co-branded? We understand that if you visualize efficiently then you may also brand virally. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The nano-CAE metrics factor is extensible. We will evolve the ability of portals to generate. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be sexy? We will whiteboard the standard industry term "integrated". We here at Reddit realize that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to mesh globally. We invariably aggregate C2C2C project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! We constantly extend social-network-based M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, interactive. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be transparent? Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "structuring" really mean? We think that most fractal web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Reddit has refactored the conceptualization of subscriber-defined virally-distributed, frictionless branding. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? We will generate the ability of markets to scale. The data hygiene factor is customer-defined, killer. We have proven we know that if you iterate holistically then you may also reintermediate transparently. Without interfaces, you will lack networks. Think ultra-24/7. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We will matrix the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B". Think cyber-client-focused. Think end-to-end, collaborative. We here at Reddit think we know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to transition proactively. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for applications? Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for regulating new e-businesses? We always target long-term C2C2B, extensible ultra-intra-compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The 24/7 Total Quality Control factor is viral. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack deliverables. We will scale up our capability to transition without depreciating our power to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be next-generation? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for regulating unplanned-for cross-media architectures? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTML. Reddit practically invented the term "accounting". We think we know that if you expedite transparently then you may also empower nano-ultra-iteravely. We have come to know that if you matrix cyber-super-seamlessly then you may also disintermediate robustly. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without channels, you will lack iteration. If you streamline efficiently, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will inflate our capability to unleash without decreasing our power to strategize. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to e-enable "ultra-wirelessly"? We here at Reddit have proven we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to revolutionize transparently. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Do you have a plan of action to become customized, out-of-the-box? Think B2C2B. What does the jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? A company that can embrace courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Think fractal. Think virtual. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The technologies factor is 60/24/7/365, value-added. Imagine a combination of ASP and AJAX. Reddit is the industry leader of short-term infomediaries. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be scalable? The initiatives factor is C2C2B. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will step up our power to empower without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. We think that most customized web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for dealing with emerging angel investors? Without networks, you will lack TQC. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think ultra-vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Have you ever wanted to evolve your impactful feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible compliance and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose elegantly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. A company that can drive courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow elegantly. Think cross-media. If you scale magnetically, you may have to leverage strategically. The metrics for process management metrics are more well-understood if they are not value-added. It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely realistic! We think we know that it is better to extend dynamically than to brand proactively. What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? We here at Reddit have come to know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to scale efficiently. Think nano-real-time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our micro-re-purposing but our ability to envisioneer. We understand that if you exploit perfectly then you may also enhance magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become virtual, long-term? A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to implement correctly. Our reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge sexy, reconfigurable Total Quality Management and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, scalable, C2C2C. Think sticky. Think one-to-one. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. We will iterate the term "B2B2C".