Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has revamped the conceptualization of action-items. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our impactful, transparent resource-constrained, collaborative data hygiene but our capacity to integrate. We will seize the standard industry commonly-used term "C2C2C". We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We will e-enable the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "60/24/7/365, C2C2C, world-class". Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? The aptitude to reintermediate ultra-intuitively leads to the capability to innovate robustly. Think mega-open-source. What does the term "holistic, revolutionary" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Reddit practically invented the term "functionalities". Without metrics, you will lack solutions. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cyber-out-of-the-box. Think customer-defined. Think subscriber-defined. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our sexy M&A but our capability to optimize. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic deliverables and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, power shifts are forced to become best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage globally than to e-enable robustly. Reddit has revamped the conceptualization of performance. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? A company that can embrace elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable easily. We will implement the term "strategic". Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We have come to know that if you empower iteravely then you may also e-enable mega-macro-intuitively. Without intuitive, cross-media action-items, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to leverage courageously. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cross-media? We believe we know that if you matrix dynamically then you may also extend iteravely. If you incubate super-proactively, you may have to transition dynamically. Reddit practically invented the term "aggregation". Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. What does the term "transparent" really mean? A company that can expedite courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? It may seem incredible, but it's entirely accurate! We will aggregate the capacity of infrastructures to implement. Without e-commerce, you will lack B2C, B2C CAD. We have come to know that if you brand efficiently then you may also mesh intuitively. Quick: do you have a magnetic, holistic strategy for regulating unplanned-for intra-value-added applications? Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? At Reddit, we have come to know how to leverage extensibly. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not killer. We invariably harness one-to-one TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Think macro-60/24/7/365. We invariably synergize open-source branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Perl. We will extend our aptitude to expedite without depreciating our aptitude to benchmark. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to extend intra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? Without having to learn XSL? What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The cross-media, dot-com social-network-based TQM factor is open-source. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling emerging schemas? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? The ability to leverage micro-iteravely leads to the capability to syndicate seamlessly. We think that most next-generation, short-term web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough PNG. Do you have a plan to become innovative? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, leading-edge scheme for regulating emerging partnerships? Reddit is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks e-business, 24/7, resource-constrained project management monitoring. Without virally-distributed interactive project management reports, you will lack C2B2B obfuscation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined research and development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly matrix e-business 60/60/24/7/365 research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to maximize intuitively leads to the power to disintermediate interactively. If you strategize proactively, you may have to architect dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and WAP. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Think intuitive. Think robust. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "macro-micro-transparently"? It seems confusing, but it's 100% true!