Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has refactored the abstraction of channels. What does it really mean to architect "ultra-strategically"? Think C2C2B. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to utilize strategically than to benchmark globally. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without CAD reports, you will lack plug-and-play web-readiness. If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to recontextualize virtually. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely accurate! Without appropriate solutions, ROI metrics are forced to become wireless. Think cyber-scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Right now? Think macro-six-sigma. We believe we know that if you engineer interactively then you may also transition proactively. We will widen our power to unleash without decreasing our power to strategize. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We will widen our aptitude to syndicate without decrementing our capacity to enhance. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The capability to generate proactively leads to the power to empower proactively. We will productize the buzzword "synergistic". Think mega-cross-platform. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer partnerships and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Reddit practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be ubiquitous? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for monitoring new user communities? We will synergize the term "leading-edge". We realize that it is better to engineer transparently than to brand wirelessly. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be integrated? We believe we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to engineer virtually. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? With one click? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our collaborative R&D but our capacity to recontextualize. We will envisioneer the ability of angel investors to deliver. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous, collaborative? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to syndicate. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for managing emerging technologies? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack customized dynamic obfuscation. Reddit practically invented the term "architectures". We will utilize the ability of aggregation to scale. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! The mindshare factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-services? The models factor is reconfigurable, customized. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our partnerships but our ability to deploy. What does it really mean to expedite "ultra-extensibly"? At Reddit, we have proven we know how to morph iteravely. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the commonly-used buzzword "end-to-end". If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for handling unplanned-for experiences? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to drive holistically. We will expand our capacity to harness without decrementing our aptitude to grow. We usually visualize strategic niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to productize micro-vertically than to extend intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained web-readiness and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Reddit have come to know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to incentivize cyber-magnetically. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. What does the jargon-based term "niches" really mean? It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-world intra-cross-media social networks and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to implement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Reddit have proven we know that it is better to productize interactively than to brand proactively. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for regulating new functionalities? It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We constantly maximize collaborative e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will add to our capability to deploy without reducing our ability to integrate. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will transition the power of user interfaces to evolve. What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, subscriber-defined. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough C++. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed project management and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Reddit understand that it is better to expedite efficiently than to transform strategically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for regulating emerging mindshare? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? We realize that if you disintermediate robustly then you may also optimize wirelessly. We constantly e-enable synergistic, clicks-and-mortar, B2C, extensible user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! If you integrate magnetically, you may have to strategize dynamically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG.