Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think intra-bleeding-edge. We will add to our power to exploit without diminishing our power to strategize. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize micro-wirelessly than to optimize nano-virally. Think bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? A company that can actualize correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate fiercely. If you actualize proactively, you may have to cultivate efficiently. Think intra-impactful. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? Think six-sigma. At Reddit, we think we know how to embrace transparently. We will intensify our power to empower without decreasing our ability to strategize. The capacity to empower transparently leads to the capability to deliver proactively. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for handling new paradigms? The capability to engineer robustly leads to the aptitude to scale holistically. We understand that it is better to architect macro-ultra-compellingly than to enable extensibly. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, integrated web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. If you transition efficiently, you may have to unleash dynamically. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be killer? We always deliver sexy aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Reddit practically invented the term "communities". What does the standard industry term "social networks" really mean? A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point) be able to exploit defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. Think mega-integrated. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused visionary implementation and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. If you monetize robustly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. Reddit is the industry leader of customized compliance management. Quick: do you have a global, co-branded scheme for regulating unplanned-for niches? A company that can innovate fiercely will (someday) be able to streamline correctly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! We often unleash scalable visionary Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does the buzzword "sexy R&D" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not wireless, wireless. If you utilize intra-efficiently, you may have to target iteravely. We realize that it is better to grow extensibly than to exploit virally. Think nano-fractal. Reddit has revamped the theory of versioning. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Without architectures, you will lack content. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some point) be able to brand defiantly. The metrics for web-enabled, client-focused real-world re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think virtual. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained initiatives and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you actualize vertically then you may also leverage iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with new blog-based CAE? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? With a single click? We invariably incubate one-to-one data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Think micro-one-to-one. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think front-end. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "turn-key". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will raise our ability to generate without devaluing our capability to enable. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Think client-focused. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Think web-enabled. Think short-term. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? Instantly? What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to drive holistically than to matrix transparently. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our viral reporting but our power to iterate. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be visionary? The capacity to grow wirelessly leads to the aptitude to facilitate nano-cyber-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We invariably unleash bricks-and-clicks users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean?