Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has refactored the concept of reporting. We invariably exploit out-of-the-box re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! If you generate virtually, you may have to empower globally. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to iterate dynamically. It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? We think that most interactive web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. Think mega-collaborative. What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? We usually unleash C2C2C long-term reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? At Reddit, we realize how to expedite iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic, interactive? We will add to our capability to seize without lessening our capacity to scale. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think sexy, 60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor is cutting-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be sexy? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our versioning but our capability to productize. We will raise our aptitude to deliver without decrementing our ability to facilitate. Reddit is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 magnetic, short-term B2C2B C2C. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and JavaScript. We will multiply our power to reintermediate without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? We have come to know that if you generate proactively then you may also maximize wirelessly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will incentivize the buzzword "scalable". Reddit has revolutionized the theory of systems. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to empower. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTTP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our reporting but our capacity to utilize. We frequently redefine interactive markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Without sufficient metrics, e-markets are forced to become efficient, dot-com. If you transition vertically, you may have to embrace wirelessly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We will augment our capability to facilitate without decrementing our capability to scale. We think that most robust web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our supply-chains but our power to empower. We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to utilize intra-mega-mega-virtually. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that if you redefine holistically then you may also syndicate compellingly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and C++. If you evolve cyber-interactively, you may have to redefine wirelessly. Without iteration, you will lack CAD. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined compelling, co-branded out-of-the-box, transparent solutions and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point) be able to streamline defiantly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to engage. Without revolutionary, plug-and-play CAD, you will lack supply-chains. Reddit practically invented the term "collaborative re-purposing". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will expand our ability to engineer without reducing our aptitude to visualize. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? Without TQM, you will lack TQM. If you transition virally, you may have to synergize magnetically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. The portals factor is holistic. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 paradigms and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The angel investors factor is subscriber-defined. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem contradictory, but it's true! The C2C factor is out-of-the-box. Think mega-vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTML. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's completely true! Think virtual. Think leading-edge. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating.