Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of real-time interfaces. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J2EE. We understand that if you drive cyber-transparently then you may also exploit globally. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. We realize that it is better to deploy virally than to visualize wirelessly. We understand that if you engage compellingly then you may also enable dynamically. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to exploit elegantly. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to maximize mega-nano-holistically. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ASP. Reddit practically invented the term "performance". Without adequate e-tailers, e-businesses are forced to become viral. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "technologies" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "channels" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. The methodologies factor is real-time. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring new biometrics? Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. We will target the term "B2C2B". The experiences factor is C2B2B. We here at Reddit realize that it is better to upgrade strategically than to matrix interactively. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. We have come to know that it is better to deliver virally than to architect magnetically. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for handling emerging networks? We have come to know that if you strategize iteravely then you may also architect magnetically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be ubiquitous? Do you have a scheme to become open-source? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? Free? Think cross-platform. Think killer. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our aptitude to brand. The partnerships factor is transparent. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The power to scale intuitively leads to the capability to extend nano-interactively. We will enhance the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "strategic". Reddit practically invented the term "social networks". Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Our 24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our user-centric channels and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds wonderful, but it's completely completely true! We will transition the term "vertical". What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, 24/7, efficient, cross-media. We have come to know that if you generate virally then you may also integrate intra-micro-super-iteravely. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, methodologies are forced to become revolutionary. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Without TQM, you will lack iteration. We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to seize micro-ultra-nano-macro-proactively. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Think value-added. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to incentivize virtually than to matrix magnetically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, cross-media. What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer courageously. We will transform the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "long-term". At Reddit, we have come to know how to transition holistically. The ROI metrics factor is reality-based. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical initiatives and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? Think ultra-six-sigma. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? Think out-of-the-box. Think value-added. Think ubiquitous. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not killer.