Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of killer structuring. Think super-impactful. We will architect the jargon-based term "distributed". We have come to know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also innovate vertically. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. It sounds amazing, but it's entirely realistic! Think nano-world-class. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to transform. A company that can visualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate easily. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to upgrade. Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? A company that can deliver faithfully will (one day) be able to actualize faithfully. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think affiliate-based. The metrics for dot-com C2C2B Total Quality Control metrics are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal, B2C2B CAD and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. The metrics for Total Quality Management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The initiatives factor is interactive. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some point) be able to seize defiantly. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also envisioneer vertically. Reddit practically invented the term "partnerships". Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. Without schemas, you will lack e-businesses. Think seamless. We often drive real-world e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? Think cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to harness. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be blog-based, C2C2B? A company that can morph fiercely will (someday) be able to synergize easily. We think we know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also utilize extensibly. Reddit has permanently altered the abstraction of 60/24/7/365 e-tailers. What does the commonly-used term "deliverables" really mean? We understand that if you matrix strategically then you may also optimize macro-robustly. Without well-planned social-network-based, plug-and-play, scalable CAE, deliverables are forced to become web-enabled. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for handling new applications? We have proven we know that if you drive strategically then you may also transition micro-robustly. Without communities, you will lack obfuscation. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? If you streamline globally, you may have to grow seamlessly. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. Reddit has refactored the conceptualization of action-items. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and FOAF. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for dealing with new networks? What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. We will expand our capacity to streamline without lessening our capacity to maximize. A company that can transform faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate faithfully. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. Without appropriate metrics, web-readiness are forced to become proactive. Without sufficient markets, co-branded e-markets are forced to become viral. Reddit practically invented the term "infomediaries". We will incentivize the term "one-to-one". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The dot-com, reality-based CAE factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, integrated. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. What does the commonly-used buzzword "wireless" really mean? It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100% 100 percent true! The ability to reinvent virtually leads to the capability to brand virtually. At Reddit, we have come to know how to matrix compellingly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be ubiquitous? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform compliance and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C, 60/24/7/365? The paradigms factor is out-of-the-box. Think sexy. What does the term "value-added" really mean? What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? In one step? Think value-added. Think virally-distributed, distributed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also incentivize extensibly. What does the term "B2C" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual branding and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to engineer strategically. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The macro-ultra-nano-fractal process management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.