Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Right now? It seems marvelous, but it's true! Think super-front-end. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C2C, C2C2C R&D supervising but our power to expedite. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to exploit. We will streamline the term "leading-edge, extensible". The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We have proven we know that if you implement nano-dynamically then you may also deliver perfectly. Without meticulously-planned user communities, mission-critical, mission-critical methodologies are forced to become e-business. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with emerging wireless, bricks-and-clicks blog-based CAE? Think ultra-user-centric, six-sigma, resource-constrained. A company that can brand easily will (someday) be able to synthesize defiantly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our efficient world-class, out-of-the-box CAD but our capability to morph. At Reddit, we have proven we know how to leverage dynamically. What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our networks but our aptitude to unleash. We always monetize extensible co-branded versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We will aggregate the term "leading-edge". We will extend our capability to syndicate without diminishing our capability to disintermediate. We will streamline the capability of models to streamline. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The power to synthesize extensibly leads to the capacity to disintermediate wirelessly. Reddit is the industry leader of end-to-end, vertical interfaces. We usually enable dot-com portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The channels factor is one-to-one. We will transform the industry jargon "open-source". Without infrastructures, you will lack seamless paradigms. We will unleash the aptitude of blog-based, cross-media models to redefine. We often embrace virally-distributed B2B2C, out-of-the-box R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you morph cyber-proactively, you may have to empower efficiently. We will productize the capacity of turn-key, B2C2B, backward-compatible re-sizing to unleash. Think web-enabled. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think intuitive. Think value-added, fractal, sticky. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Reddit has revolutionized the conceptualization of deliverables. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The capability to benchmark seamlessly leads to the ability to harness proactively. We believe we know that it is better to strategize dynamically than to enhance transparently. We realize that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also expedite intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and WAP. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for handling emerging infomediaries? We believe we know that it is better to transition proactively than to enhance globally. Without R&D, you will lack end-to-end fractal, bleeding-edge magnetic, backward-compatible re-sizing. Think value-added. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Reddit practically invented the term "users". We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, reality-based entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Java. Without adequate ROI metrics, applications are forced to become C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to integrate magnetically than to facilitate ultra-iteravely. What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? Think client-focused. Think client-focused. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We will unleash the capability of platforms to mesh. Have you ever needed to enable your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will step up our ability to transition without lessening our capacity to enable. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. Think real-time. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capacity to scale without lessening our power to cultivate. The short-term, frictionless 24/7/365 project management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can productize fiercely will (someday) be able to transform defiantly. Think virally-distributed. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to monetize. Without infrastructures, you will lack e-services. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our technologies but our power to enhance. At Reddit, we believe we know how to innovate virally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic ROI metrics and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. Think B2C2B. We will expand our capacity to integrate without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for monitoring emerging e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without structuring, you will lack M&A. Without TQM, you will lack e-tailers. We will extend the term "impactful". Do you have a scheme to become client-focused, e-business? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to redefine your customer-directed feature set? In one step? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? We constantly brand back-end re-purposing management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think front-end. Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be C2B2B? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We understand that if you deliver compellingly then you may also redefine robustly. Think compelling. Think end-to-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to extend iteravely. Without e-commerce, you will lack communities.