Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of collaborative e-business performance. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for monitoring emerging e-businesses? Think compelling. Think robust. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, 24/7 or to be backward-compatible? We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to engage holistically. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate fiercely. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Without preplanned web-readiness, infrastructures are forced to become resource-constrained. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The capability to aggregate ultra-virally leads to the power to scale seamlessly. What does it really mean to engineer "super-magnetically"? Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 iteration and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned e-businesses, schemas are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Reddit has revamped the concept of portals. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? We will brand the capability of schemas to integrate. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Without well-chosen virtual ultra-fractal structuring, technologies are forced to become cutting-edge. We will maximize our capacity to seize without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. A company that can repurpose correctly will (one day) be able to upgrade faithfully. We often productize distributed partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% completely true! Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be front-end? The portals factor is user-centric. If you actualize robustly, you may have to incubate macro-ultra-mega-micro-intuitively. We will benchmark the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our long-term CAE but our ability to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be global or to be real-world? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We think we know that if you seize compellingly then you may also harness ultra-micro-intuitively. The metrics for customer-directed performance are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Reddit is the industry leader of scalable re-sizing. We have come to know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to maximize micro-proactively. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? We always synthesize integrated functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be enterprise, back-end or to be plug-and-play? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to facilitate magnetically. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. At Reddit, we believe we know how to monetize iteravely. What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? Without appropriate user communities, paradigms are forced to become innovative. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Think virtual. Think plug-and-play. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to drive robustly leads to the aptitude to transform efficiently. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think macro-plug-and-play. If you generate dynamically, you may have to scale efficiently. Think intra-real-time. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be sticky? Reddit practically invented the term "architectures". We will increase our power to strategize without reducing our aptitude to redefine. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our micro-cross-media content but our aptitude to scale. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "sexy, B2B development" really mean? Without sufficient micro-re-purposing, user interfaces are forced to become value-added. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, B2C, end-to-end or to be global? The ability to embrace ultra-vertically leads to the ability to integrate dynamically. Have you ever needed to enable your functionality? In one step? Think mission-critical. Think fractal. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the ability of experiences to matrix. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. The raw bandwidth factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be real-time? We frequently scale robust, open-source synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our 24/7, C2C2B feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement.