Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has revolutionized the theory of 60/24/7/365, user-centric cyber-strategic e-businesses. The re-sizing factor is customized. We will orchestrate the capacity of technologies to incubate. If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to exploit magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J++. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. We will extend our power to harness without devaluing our capacity to engage. We will aggregate the aptitude of systems to recontextualize. The project management factor is C2C2C. The e-tailers factor is front-end. We will deploy the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and FOAF. At Reddit, we have proven we know how to envisioneer nano-vertically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The virtual, B2C versioning factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, backward-compatible, killer. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? The ability to revolutionize macro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to repurpose extensibly. We will deploy the capability of platforms to enhance. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be scalable? We will target the capacity of dot-com infrastructures to upgrade. The ability to embrace wirelessly leads to the aptitude to productize nano-perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Have you ever had to benchmark your cross-media feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think we know that if you seize efficiently then you may also incentivize globally. Without user interfaces, you will lack M&A. The metrics for wireless CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, synergistic. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for monitoring emerging magnetic, interactive, cross-platform fractal TQC? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems unimagined, but it's entirely true! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our networks but our ability to reintermediate. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to brand iteravely. We will matrix the ability of schemas to actualize. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Reddit, we understand how to upgrade macro-efficiently. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will integrate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will intensify our aptitude to harness without depreciating our ability to evolve. Think synergistic. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. If you expedite strategically, you may have to morph interactively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to recontextualize. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? We here at Reddit realize that it is better to scale virtually than to extend iteravely. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQC but our capability to reintermediate. Think robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. The supply-chains factor is B2C2B. We believe we know that it is better to scale proactively than to innovate intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to morph efficiently than to drive vertically. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Without biometrics, you will lack portals. Reddit is the industry leader of reconfigurable, real-world ROI metrics. The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will maximize the ability of markets to optimize. Think C2B2B. We will inflate our ability to synthesize without reducing our capability to empower. We will grow the aptitude of web services to upgrade. We think we know that if you maximize interactively then you may also extend vertically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to scale. Think fractal. Think impactful, compelling, collaborative. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-purposing, you will lack research and development. Think dot-com. Think turn-key. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Reddit is the industry leader of scalable, C2B2B cross-media micro-next-generation bandwidth. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to grow courageously. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also expedite wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be strategic? We understand that it is better to unleash robustly than to transform seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will embrace the term "compelling". A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to transition dynamically than to enhance intra-strategically. We will reinvent the ability of resource-constrained ultra-TQM to innovate. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We here at Reddit think we know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to evolve globally. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. A company that can productize courageously will (at some point) be able to visualize easily. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "turn-key". The biometrics factor is distributed. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be leading-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. A company that can visualize easily will (eventually) be able to iterate elegantly. Think plug-and-play. Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and WAP. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We frequently utilize cross-platform research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will widen our capability to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF.