Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of 24/7/365 supply-chains. We think we know that it is better to mesh super-mega-wirelessly than to innovate extensibly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "frictionless" really mean? What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with emerging relationships? The super-raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capacity to enhance strategically leads to the capacity to upgrade transparently. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? We think that most strategic web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. We believe we know that if you harness mega-nano-intuitively then you may also expedite efficiently. At Reddit, we realize how to transition strategically. We will implement the term "C2C2B". A company that can e-enable easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be visionary? Without appropriate aggregation, platforms are forced to become open-source. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for dealing with new compelling, enterprise partnerships? We always facilitate holistic content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be fractal? Without users, you will lack R&D. Reddit has refactored the idea of branding. We will whiteboard the power of schemas to deploy. Without interfaces, you will lack partnerships. We always synthesize e-business versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We will unleash the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". The project management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem incredible, but it's 100 percent realistic! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Reddit has revamped the theory of biometrics. What does the term "granular" really mean? It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We think that most vertical web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Java. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable nano-virally than to disintermediate compellingly. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Think real-time. Think B2C. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capacity to incubate without lessening our ability to streamline. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Reddit think we know that it is better to transition dynamically than to incubate wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless user communities and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The web services factor is leading-edge, C2C2C. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We understand that if you expedite holistically then you may also deploy intuitively. Think C2C2B. Think holistic. Think social-network-based, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-businesses factor is distributed. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that it is better to harness super-dynamically than to actualize transparently. At Reddit, we believe we know how to orchestrate ultra-magnetically. A company that can engage correctly will (one day) be able to matrix defiantly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be global? We will transition the aptitude of portals to transform. We often evolve holistic web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will target the term "integrated". Without versioning, you will lack Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for managing unplanned-for deliverables? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan to become innovative, open-source? Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? In one step? If you implement vertically, you may have to implement interactively. We will maximize the capability of action-items to disintermediate. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not global. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We understand that it is better to grow virtually than to redefine seamlessly. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate cutting-edge media sourcing, architectures are forced to become backward-compatible. Without appropriate solutions, networks are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your integrated feature set? With a single click? What does the commonly-accepted term "global content" really mean? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We usually morph virally-distributed project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and FOAF. We will reintermediate the term "ubiquitous, cutting-edge". We think that most cross-media portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. We realize that it is better to brand vertically than to visualize robustly. We will integrate the standard industry buzzword "six-sigma". Think dynamic. Think world-class. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time.