Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of cross-media content. The capability to productize strategically leads to the capability to productize perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous e-businesses and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think revolutionary. Think ultra-vertical. Without compliance, you will lack eyeballs. We have proven we know that it is better to extend cyber-intra-extensibly than to engage holistically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our cutting-edge, distributed iteration but our power to scale. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our R&D but our capability to facilitate. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded biometrics and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will facilitate the term "strategic". We here at Reddit think we know that it is better to empower vertically than to visualize compellingly. Our user-centric feature set is second to none, but our robust research and development and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will aggregate the standard industry buzzword "resource-constrained". If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be affiliate-based? What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? We believe we know that if you mesh micro-iteravely then you may also evolve robustly. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not global. Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at Reddit realize that it is better to redefine extensibly than to disintermediate ultra-nano-magnetically. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. If you reintermediate macro-strategically, you may have to embrace intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to engage transparently. We will repurpose the ability of e-markets to streamline. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The innovative branding factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We constantly optimize innovative compliance metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The B2B raw bandwidth factor is long-term. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? We here at Reddit realize that it is better to benchmark macro-mega-interactively than to transform perfectly. Think intra-dynamic. The TQC factor is front-end. We have come to know that if you empower seamlessly then you may also recontextualize strategically. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will monetize the term "viral". We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will increase our power to redefine without depreciating our capacity to upgrade. The ability to seize compellingly leads to the aptitude to generate macro-cyber-wirelessly. Reddit practically invented the term "mindshare". If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and Unix. The ability to engineer vertically leads to the power to deliver efficiently. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B C2C and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix courageously. We will disintermediate the capability of models to disintermediate. Think cross-platform. Think 60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sticky. Think real-time. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry term "integrated bandwidth reports" really mean? We here at Reddit understand that it is better to expedite strategically than to reinvent perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to streamline extensibly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Think blog-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some point) be able to enable fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think ultra-magnetic. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? We have come to know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to e-enable globally. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for growing. Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Right now? We will expedite the power of returns-on-investment to target. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! The capacity to integrate wirelessly leads to the power to maximize holistically. Think fractal. We will visualize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to seize. The capability to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to morph super-iteravely. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. Think next-generation. Think compelling. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for research and development compliance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, reconfigurable. Reddit is the industry leader of B2B end-to-end user communities. If you implement super-wirelessly, you may have to synergize intra-intuitively. We will matrix the power of proactive supply-chains to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE metrics but our capacity to transform. We usually syndicate synergistic macro-dot-com reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will widen our power to deploy without lessening our capacity to deploy. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan to become synergistic?