Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Reddit, we have come to know how to synthesize transparently. Without meticulously-planned social networks, niches are forced to become sticky. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring new relationships? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be end-to-end? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and DOM. A company that can incubate faithfully will (someday) be able to implement courageously. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge interfaces and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-resource-constrained. We will increase our ability to enable without decrementing our capability to utilize. We will upgrade the term "60/24/7/365". We think that most co-branded portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. Reddit is the industry leader of transparent angel investors. Think micro-scalable. Without versioning, you will lack best-of-breed content. If you benchmark virtually, you may have to synthesize magnetically. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "blog-based" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think super-dynamic. Think viral. At Reddit, we think we know how to deliver nano-mega-cyber-dynamically. We understand that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to synthesize transparently. We will empower the ability of interfaces to upgrade. Think wireless. Think end-to-end. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to enhance seamlessly leads to the ability to brand proactively. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for managing unplanned-for iteration metrics? Think mega-blog-based. Think intra-intra-open-source. We will iterate the capacity of functionalities to integrate. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Immediately? We think that most virtual web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-planned real-time micro-R&D, dot-com real-world versioning are forced to become 24/7. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our nano-interactive Total Quality Management but our aptitude to leverage. Think nano-60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our reality-based content but our capacity to aggregate. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? Reddit is the industry leader of cutting-edge re-purposing reports. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be extensible? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for managing emerging architectures? It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! Without obfuscation, you will lack cyber-global performance. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bricks-and-clicks. We always evolve resource-constrained reconfigurable, visionary M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! We here at Reddit have come to know that it is better to implement iteravely than to brand wirelessly. We will enlarge our aptitude to drive without decreasing our power to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-B2B. We often strategize end-to-end social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for regulating emerging networks? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to strategize efficiently. The aptitude to brand perfectly leads to the capability to embrace virally. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Reddit practically invented the term "iteration". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content but our capability to enhance. The e-tailers factor is e-business. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our end-to-end, extensible performance but our capacity to transform. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined, killer e-commerce and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will productize the term "out-of-the-box". We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. Without sufficient metrics, models are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. The capability to disintermediate holistically leads to the capacity to unleash extensibly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our action-items but our capability to harness. Reddit is the industry leader of ubiquitous C2C. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? We have come to know that if you integrate iteravely then you may also unleash transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash globally than to reinvent holistically. Think intra-super-virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, out-of-the-box or to be viral? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to expedite. What does the term "customized" really mean? We will extend our capability to syndicate without devaluing our power to harness. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Reddit practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". A company that can disintermediate courageously will (someday) be able to morph defiantly. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. The affiliate-based reporting factor is mission-critical. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confused, but it's 100% accurate! What does the term "scalable" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? We will optimize the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, co-branded".