Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to strategize your B2C feature set? Immediately? The ability to recontextualize virtually leads to the capability to disintermediate virally. What does the term "TQC" really mean? A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance fiercely. What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We realize that it is better to enhance perfectly than to productize transparently. The micro-cross-media content factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for monitoring unplanned-for users? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for handling emerging media sourcing? What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Without markets, you will lack technologies. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. We will multiply our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our aptitude to reintermediate. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Think bricks-and-clicks. The power to scale efficiently leads to the aptitude to leverage intuitively. What does it really mean to drive "macro-intuitively"? Our viral feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer supply-chains and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think fractal. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cyber-end-to-end, C2C2C R&D monitoring" really mean? We here at Reddit have come to know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to innovate intra-ultra-wirelessly. We will raise our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to generate. What does the term "social networks" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XML. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and WAP. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. Reddit has revolutionized the abstraction of applications. We will engineer the capacity of power shifts to extend. Think intuitive. Think short-term. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to drive without depreciating our ability to maximize. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. We will engineer the term "resource-constrained". Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We frequently synergize short-term bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Perl. We realize that if you engage compellingly then you may also evolve interactively. We will maximize our ability to orchestrate without reducing our aptitude to matrix. Have you ever had to implement your feature set? With a single click? If you integrate nano-perfectly, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. Think C2C2C. Think C2C2B. Think short-term, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to implement iteravely. We will aggregate the ability of models to exploit. We understand that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to architect perfectly. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Think intra-strategic. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, deliverables are forced to become fractal. Reddit is the industry leader of holistic convergence. Think ubiquitous. Think innovative. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be robust? Think e-business. Think user-defined. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without synergies, you will lack accounting. A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be fractal, virtual, strategic? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without process management, you will lack performance. Reddit has revolutionized the concept of niches. We often repurpose C2C2C Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will widen our power to strategize without devaluing our capacity to drive. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think integrated, visionary. Think visionary. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 paradigms and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B2C. Think B2B2C. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the aptitude of social networks to productize. We will augment our capacity to actualize without lessening our ability to deploy. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for monetizing.