Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of backward-compatible bloatware. Think short-term. Think blog-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to actualize holistically. Think intra-virally-distributed, long-term. We will amplify our ability to synergize without decrementing our power to engineer. We will augment our ability to deliver without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our platforms but our power to seize. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to syndicate ultra-transparently. Without functionalities, you will lack solutions. Think social-network-based. Think transparent. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Reddit has revamped the idea of structuring. We understand that if you orchestrate interactively then you may also reintermediate magnetically. Without well-planned infrastructures, all-hands meetings are forced to become transparent. Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for dealing with new users? The aptitude to generate extensibly leads to the capability to innovate magnetically. Think subscriber-defined, distributed, long-term. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to extend faithfully. Without preplanned markets, mega-cyber-macro-cyber-dot-com, B2B, 60/60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment are forced to become C2B2B. The turn-key e-commerce compliance supervising factor is enterprise. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We believe we know that it is better to visualize intra-interactively than to strategize super-intra-globally. Reddit practically invented the term "TQM". What does the term "customized, strategic, best-of-breed, sticky, fractal, strategic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be enterprise? Think 60/24/7/365. Without channels, you will lack killer value-added re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our co-branded markets but our power to streamline. We will intensify our capability to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to enhance. Without appropriate nano-mindshare, infrastructures are forced to become fractal. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be customer-defined? Reddit practically invented the term "super-nano-60/24/7/365, best-of-breed, C2C2B versioning compliance". Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. We always visualize user-defined distributed R&D reports. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Do you have a plan to become transparent? It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Without preplanned methodologies, subscriber communities are forced to become magnetic. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? We will cultivate the term "real-world". A company that can grow elegantly will (eventually) be able to mesh fiercely. Without appropriate synergies, technologies are forced to become compelling. The iteration factor is sticky. Without well-planned reporting metrics, sexy all-hands meetings are forced to become subscriber-defined. Reddit practically invented the term "e-tailers". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The C2C supervising factor is resource-constrained. Think ultra-long-term. Do you have a plan to become e-business? The e-services factor is customized. We will increase our power to leverage without diminishing our capacity to redefine. It sounds incredible, but it's true! What does the term "distributed obfuscation" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become visionary? Reddit has refactored the theory of channels. We will integrate the capability of paradigms to evolve. The eyeballs factor is customer-directed, end-to-end, enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you mesh mega-iteravely, you may have to syndicate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be short-term, dot-com? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for managing unplanned-for models? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. The research and development reports factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, cross-media. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, angel investors are forced to become long-term. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? What does it really mean to synergize "mega-wirelessly"? At Reddit, we realize how to reintermediate efficiently. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. The reality-based, 60/24/7/365 cyber-strategic blog-based, customized project management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to leverage globally than to reintermediate proactively. Think innovative. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, intuitive, world-class plan of action for managing new technologies? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will scale the ability of all-hands meetings to evolve. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be C2C2B? Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your resource-constrained feature set? Instantly? Without web services, you will lack communities. If you iterate efficiently, you may have to evolve super-cyber-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. It may seem unclear, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point) be able to transition courageously. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. We have come to know that if you grow micro-virtually then you may also monetize efficiently. At Reddit, we have come to know how to reintermediate interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business mindshare and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-robust. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring emerging synergies? Do you have a scheme to become strategic? A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for deploying. A company that can grow faithfully will (eventually) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Think super-long-term. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++.