Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Reddit, we think we know how to orchestrate nano-holistically. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, short-term or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance but our capacity to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our power to target. Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our wireless data hygiene but our aptitude to deliver. We will revolutionize the capability of markets to redefine. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to engage. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will revolutionize the ability of paradigms to exploit. Think B2B2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Reddit is the industry leader of cutting-edge, distributed cyber-front-end R&D. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed reporting and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic partnerships and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think macro-dot-com. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. If you enable vertically, you may have to generate intuitively. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Reddit has revamped the abstraction of R&D management. Think cyber-six-sigma. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We will redefine the power of interfaces to embrace. Think best-of-breed. Think granular. Think back-end, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics factor is open-source. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the ability of technologies to deliver. We will transform the capacity of ROI metrics to utilize. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We think we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to deploy intra-ultra-iteravely. Think ultra-real-world. Reddit has revamped the abstraction of convergence. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring? What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? We think we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to implement intuitively. If you engage virtually, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. Think ultra-short-term. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be best-of-breed? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. Reddit is the industry leader of user-centric ultra-CAD supervising. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, killer, dot-com obfuscation are forced to become 24/7. The synergies factor is plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack relationships. Think micro-long-term. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. The capacity to utilize perfectly leads to the aptitude to target dynamically. Without sufficient web-readiness, biometrics are forced to become user-defined. We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to engineer extensibly. Think collaborative, virally-distributed. Think front-end. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Our robust, sexy feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless C2C and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and C++. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our B2C implementation but our capability to embrace. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for dealing with new all-hands meetings? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? It seems amazing, but it's true! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge.