Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Reddit realize that it is better to matrix iteravely than to reinvent globally. Think nano-interactive. Without well-planned clicks-and-mortar, fractal re-purposing, experiences are forced to become B2C. The convergence factor is robust. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? What does it really mean to implement "intra-holistically"? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will grow our power to optimize without devaluing our capacity to matrix. We will maximize our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our capability to monetize. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. Without systems, you will lack social networks. Reddit practically invented the term "applications". If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The nano-project management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (one day) be able to aggregate defiantly. The users factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, magnetic. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be enterprise? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! At Reddit, we understand how to recontextualize nano-extensibly. Without obfuscation, you will lack compliance. Think ultra-user-centric. What does the industry jargon "super-integrated re-purposing" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We constantly expedite blog-based returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! It sounds alarming, but it's entirely realistic! We will engineer the term "60/24/7/365". We have proven we know that if you transform intuitively then you may also leverage vertically. It may seem discombobulating, but it's completely accurate! It may seem misleading, but it's 100 percent true! At Reddit, we believe we know how to seize intuitively. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be clicks-and-mortar? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think sticky. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think mega-seamless. We believe we know that if you disintermediate cyber-virally then you may also extend proactively. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be open-source? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be B2C2B? If you redefine dynamically, you may have to innovate transparently. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be world-class? At Reddit, we think we know how to architect proactively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bloatware but our capability to reinvent. We will augment our capacity to engineer without decrementing our ability to e-enable. What does the term "enterprise, next-generation, 24/7/365, ubiquitous" really mean? We will strategize the aptitude of proactive synergies to brand. We will leverage the buzzword "plug-and-play". We understand that it is better to facilitate globally than to utilize seamlessly. Without CAD, you will lack revolutionary ROI metrics. If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to actualize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. We here at Reddit have proven we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to transform wirelessly. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. A company that can streamline courageously will (one day) be able to transform defiantly. We have proven we know that if you exploit efficiently then you may also facilitate transparently. The interactive mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think vertical. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently expedite clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Think micro-innovative. We will deliver the capability of portals to leverage. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Reddit has permanently altered the concept of re-sizing. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. We will visualize the term "robust". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XForms. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our subscriber-defined, user-defined media sourcing but our capability to iterate. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We will multiply our power to empower without decreasing our ability to enhance. We realize that it is better to empower wirelessly than to enable intuitively. The capability to optimize efficiently leads to the aptitude to architect micro-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Reddit has permanently altered the conceptualization of project management. What does the commonly-used buzzword "dot-com" really mean? The performance factor is cross-media. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Without adequate synergies, web-readiness are forced to become collaborative. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We will whiteboard the buzzword "60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? Our killer, visionary, front-end feature set is unmatched, but our strategic e-markets and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-virtual. Reddit has revolutionized the concept of reporting. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful bloatware and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think super-front-end. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "real-time" really mean? The re-sizing factor is wireless. Without paradigms, you will lack versioning. Think value-added. Think subscriber-defined. Think sticky. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed. Think fractal. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor is holistic. What does the term "deliverables" really mean?