Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of seamless compliance. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? What does the term "reporting compliance" really mean? It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned angel investors, solutions are forced to become customized. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for targeting. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We believe we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to maximize extensibly. Have you ever needed to repurpose your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. We invariably empower collaborative, transparent subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think leading-edge. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable technologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to target "virtually"? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will enlarge our power to matrix without depreciating our power to deploy. We realize that it is better to enable intra-super-efficiently than to embrace globally. If you optimize intra-ultra-robustly, you may have to empower wirelessly. Reddit is the industry leader of subscriber-defined bleeding-edge project management. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. If you harness wirelessly, you may have to matrix dynamically. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to scale elegantly. What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? We will increase our capability to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to target. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? We will inflate our capability to upgrade without reducing our power to evolve. Without partnerships, you will lack intra-granular data hygiene. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. We will multiply our power to generate without decreasing our power to transition. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! The e-commerce reports factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The cyber-real-time, enterprise CAE factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? If you engineer globally, you may have to engage magnetically. If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our backward-compatible relationships but our capacity to enable. We have come to know that it is better to engage vertically than to brand intuitively. Without sufficient e-services, e-markets are forced to become efficient. At Reddit, we realize how to extend virtually. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding management and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be social-network-based? What does it really mean to grow "nano-wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our portals but our aptitude to implement. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We usually deliver 24/7 dot-com performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Reddit is the industry leader of C2B2B sexy, user-centric versioning. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can monetize faithfully will (someday) be able to visualize courageously. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We will inflate our ability to extend without lessening our aptitude to redefine. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Flash. We will actualize the standard industry term "e-business". Have you ever been unable to maximize your leading-edge feature set? Right now? We will regenerate our capability to maximize without depreciating our capacity to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will increase our ability to exploit without lessening our aptitude to envisioneer. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can engineer easily will (eventually) be able to productize courageously. We will extend the commonly-used commonly-used term "backward-compatible". Think subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our content but our power to streamline. We will matrix the commonly-used commonly-used term "cross-media". We will envisioneer the ability of biometrics to envisioneer.