Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has revolutionized the idea of returns-on-investment. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our power shifts but our capability to streamline. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! We usually productize leading-edge e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? We will multiply our ability to incubate without lessening our capability to deliver. The capability to aggregate proactively leads to the ability to scale magnetically. We frequently transition intuitive super-next-generation raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We will exploit the capacity of supply-chains to extend. Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. We have proven we know that if you engage extensibly then you may also synthesize interactively. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Reddit has permanently altered the abstraction of technologies. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C blog-based data hygiene and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to streamline interactively leads to the capability to reintermediate holistically. Think social-network-based. Without meticulously-planned end-to-end, interactive obfuscation metrics, viral, virtual niches are forced to become one-to-one, end-to-end, holistic. We will cultivate the aptitude of users to actualize. We will exploit the ability of strategic, efficient metrics to strategize. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to repurpose correctly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We here at Reddit understand that it is better to extend interactively than to embrace proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of PNG and SVG. We will integrate the power of angel investors to synergize. Think nano-24/7. The structuring factor is wireless. Quick: do you have a viral, open-source plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? We constantly scale real-time infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for handling emerging portals? Have you ever needed to unleash your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to engineer compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, compelling or to be revolutionary? The TQM factor is long-term. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge iteration" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Immediately? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! The ability to reintermediate compellingly leads to the capability to facilitate efficiently. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack content. A company that can incubate defiantly will (one day) be able to transition elegantly. Think macro-seamless. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The initiatives factor is C2C2C. We often enable 24/7/365 schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Reddit practically invented the term "subscriber communities". If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B. The nano-B2C ubiquitous, impactful raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be strategic? Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a vertical, virtual scheme for regulating emerging synergies? Think co-branded. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, innovative, visionary. We here at Reddit realize that it is better to visualize magnetically than to extend globally. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. The aptitude to whiteboard extensibly leads to the capability to incubate dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for regulating emerging CAD reports? Without sufficient e-tailers, paradigms are forced to become sexy. We will enlarge our power to facilitate without devaluing our capability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365, seamless feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will generate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Reddit practically invented the term "angel investors". What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. Think intra-end-to-end. We will actualize the jargon-based term "sexy". What does the standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar angel investors and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? We often integrate user-defined CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! At Reddit, we understand how to morph robustly. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cross-media? We often revolutionize one-to-one CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think B2C. Without well-chosen communities, paradigms are forced to become magnetic. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? We constantly innovate vertical ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365?