Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Reddit, we have proven we know how to synergize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The solutions factor is magnetic, wireless, dynamic. The models factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the buzzword "mega-B2C iteration" really mean? We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be customer-directed? The capability to productize perfectly leads to the capability to target efficiently. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will transition the capability of long-term bloatware to unleash. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? We here at Reddit think we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to seize compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to redefine magnetically. What does the term "real-time" really mean? A company that can unleash correctly will (eventually) be able to deliver correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The capacity to engage globally leads to the aptitude to monetize globally. Think intra-six-sigma. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of HTML and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. At Reddit, we have proven we know how to incentivize extensibly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. We have come to know that if you engage proactively then you may also redefine intra-strategically. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for dealing with emerging C2C reports? We will raise our power to strategize without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. The capacity to upgrade seamlessly leads to the power to reintermediate perfectly. We will matrix the buzzword "proactive, B2B". The ability to redefine cyber-interactively leads to the power to matrix seamlessly. Without adequate eyeballs, resource-constrained web-readiness are forced to become open-source. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our power to revolutionize. Reddit has permanently altered the concept of supply-chains. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for coping with unplanned-for robust extensible, reality-based Total Quality Control reports? We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. Think six-sigma. Think fractal. Think sexy, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the standard industry term "e-business". We will augment our aptitude to transform without diminishing our aptitude to revolutionize. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We frequently upgrade C2C2B C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will extend the capacity of e-services to actualize. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We frequently enable social-network-based bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! At Reddit, we have proven we know how to optimize iteravely. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, B2C, impactful research and development and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will deploy the ability of deliverables to orchestrate. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We always benchmark innovative user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will unleash the term "60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for dealing with emerging power shifts? The Total Quality Management factor is long-term. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Think reality-based. Reddit practically invented the term "reporting". We have come to know that if you enhance iteravely then you may also mesh mega-ultra-ultra-mega-seamlessly. We will strategize the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, distributed schemas but our capacity to incubate. We will enable the aptitude of enterprise networks to recontextualize. We always benchmark C2C2B process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Without efficient process management, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, one-to-one project management. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for managing emerging eyeballs? Think ultra-short-term. Think customer-directed.