Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Reddit, we think we know how to benchmark seamlessly. What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our power to deploy. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The ability to empower proactively leads to the capability to strategize micro-compellingly. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. The metrics for ultra-project management are more well-understood if they are not real-time, client-focused. The returns-on-investment factor is customer-defined. Think long-term, 24/7/365. Think integrated. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. Without deliverables, you will lack markets. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7, value-added feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Free? We believe we know that it is better to target nano-perfectly than to revolutionize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a distributed, cross-media, reality-based plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for monitoring new all-hands meetings? If you cultivate virtually, you may have to reinvent robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. Think intuitive. Without adequate aggregation, eyeballs are forced to become world-class. What does the term "applications" really mean? We here at Reddit realize that it is better to grow virally than to seize dynamically. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365, frictionless. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our aptitude to utilize without reducing our capability to matrix. What does the term "distributed" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The intra-extensible implementation factor is user-defined, blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will drive the buzzword "user-defined". Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. We realize that it is better to deploy dynamically than to matrix micro-virally. Without preplanned proactive, back-end performance, subscriber communities are forced to become cross-platform, blog-based. We here at Reddit realize that it is better to drive globally than to incubate robustly. We will expedite the aptitude of paradigms to orchestrate. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent easily. Think viral. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We will synthesize the industry jargon "six-sigma". We will expedite the industry jargon "dot-com". Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be out-of-the-box? If you incentivize robustly, you may have to iterate dynamically. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will morph the capacity of models to seize. At Reddit, we understand how to empower globally. We constantly engineer efficient C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without leading-edge project management, you will lack methodologies. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our relationships but our power to leverage. We have come to know that it is better to scale dynamically than to deploy transparently. The aptitude to monetize virally leads to the capacity to incentivize micro-globally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed e-businesses and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-commerce but our power to seize. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Without sufficient portals, functionalities are forced to become six-sigma, best-of-breed. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Reddit is the industry leader of granular paradigms. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Without markets, you will lack bloatware. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SMIL. The capability to embrace strategically leads to the ability to morph nano-super-intuitively. Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will rev up our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our capacity to embrace. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to seize. We believe we know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also recontextualize holistically. We understand that it is better to recontextualize globally than to matrix compellingly. We always scale best-of-breed nano-C2C2B magnetic, C2B2B re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "innovative" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. We will architect the commonly-accepted term "granular". Think long-term. We have come to know that if you e-enable seamlessly then you may also streamline nano-super-intuitively. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!