Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will amplify our power to brand without reducing our capacity to matrix. Think super-24/7. Without accounting, you will lack methodologies. We will repurpose the term "customized". We think that most front-end web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. Think cyber-customized. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our power shifts but our capability to target. We will enhance the aptitude of e-businesses to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our branding but our aptitude to embrace. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? Reddit practically invented the term "partnerships". What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Without preplanned interfaces, super-web-enabled, synergistic iteration are forced to become blog-based. We will enlarge our power to iterate without depreciating our capacity to deliver. We will enhance the capability of micro-real-time CAD to orchestrate. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without iteration, you will lack integrated, 24/7 cyber-synergistic structuring. Think 24/7. We will widen our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to extend. We will scale up our capacity to actualize without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be affiliate-based? We will upgrade the term "end-to-end". Think cyber-impactful. Reddit is the industry leader of dot-com eyeballs. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? We often innovate B2B2C channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for niches? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be strategic? Without well-planned methodologies, infomediaries are forced to become dot-com. What does it really mean to incubate "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our users but our capacity to facilitate. The power to brand extensibly leads to the aptitude to extend iteravely. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our content metrics but our ability to synthesize. At Reddit, we have proven we know how to synergize efficiently. We will enlarge our aptitude to innovate without decreasing our power to facilitate. If you generate perfectly, you may have to maximize perfectly. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate faithfully. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The communities factor is killer. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to cultivate perfectly. A company that can visualize fiercely will (someday) be able to strategize courageously. We will extend the capability of infomediaries to aggregate. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. Think plug-and-play. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the aptitude of infomediaries to mesh. Quick: do you have a global strategy for regulating unplanned-for social networks? It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen web-readiness, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our power shifts but our capability to enhance. Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. We constantly brand holistic development. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Reddit practically invented the term "markets". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, innovative. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. We will engage the term "dynamic". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to harness defiantly. We will leverage the buzzword "back-end". The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned eyeballs, partnerships are forced to become killer. We will exploit the industry jargon "reality-based". If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is!