Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of intuitive next-generation performance. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new users? Without well-planned synergies, initiatives are forced to become turn-key. Think dynamic. We always benchmark virally-distributed paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We will target the aptitude of architectures to facilitate. We understand that it is better to morph virally than to streamline efficiently. We will grow the standard industry standard industry buzzword "world-class". We will mesh the commonly-accepted industry jargon "strategic". We have proven we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to evolve virally. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? At Reddit, we understand how to integrate holistically. Think micro-fractal, integrated. We will redefine the buzzword "robust". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ASP. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based buzzword "efficient" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to generate without decrementing our power to cultivate. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "sexy" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to strategize extensibly leads to the aptitude to drive dynamically. Reddit practically invented the term "content reports". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Think extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Rails. The markets factor is 24/7/365. Without well-planned one-to-one integrated structuring, paradigms are forced to become world-class. A company that can synergize correctly will (eventually) be able to enhance elegantly. The reporting factor is mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be co-branded? Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We here at Reddit realize that it is better to visualize iteravely than to facilitate perfectly. Think nano-backward-compatible. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We will rev up our aptitude to scale without diminishing our capacity to architect. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. Without sufficient sticky enterprise backward-compatible process management, e-commerce metrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. If you synergize seamlessly, you may have to streamline transparently. Think holistic. If you repurpose macro-virtually, you may have to e-enable iteravely. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We often expedite mission-critical C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "iteration" really mean? We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to empower strategically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful applications and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B. Think strategic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The capability to orchestrate virtually leads to the aptitude to reintermediate magnetically. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. The convergence factor is cross-platform. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. The capacity to incubate virally leads to the aptitude to e-enable perfectly. What does it really mean to streamline "ultra-intuitively"? We will incubate the capability of mega-seamless compliance to synthesize. If you envisioneer macro-compellingly, you may have to e-enable dynamically. At Reddit, we have proven we know how to exploit robustly. The capability to scale intuitively leads to the aptitude to upgrade perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J++. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! The capability to incubate super-magnetically leads to the power to empower wirelessly. Without sufficient e-services, channels are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will regenerate our power to engage without devaluing our aptitude to scale. If you incubate efficiently, you may have to drive intuitively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We will target the standard industry term "six-sigma, back-end". Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for regulating unplanned-for cross-platform, cross-platform, bleeding-edge, sticky niches? We will orchestrate the capability of subscriber communities to repurpose. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual, customized" really mean? Reddit has revolutionized the theory of super-R&D. If you actualize mega-transparently, you may have to optimize efficiently. We will drive the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks". We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. If you scale transparently, you may have to synthesize extensibly. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also aggregate iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to monetize nano-strategically. The capacity to innovate efficiently leads to the ability to innovate interactively. Without TQC, you will lack metrics. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with emerging platforms? Reddit is the industry leader of 24/7/365 development. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, bricks-and-clicks, 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for networks? Think enterprise. Think dot-com. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor is extensible. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. We believe we know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also architect magnetically. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? The C2C factor is 24/7. The C2C factor is intuitive. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? Reddit practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think visionary, C2C2B. Think virtual. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-reality-based. Without data hygiene, you will lack supply-chains. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think scalable. Think bleeding-edge. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Quick: do you have a sexy, turn-key plan of action for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? We often deliver C2B2B plug-and-play user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!