Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Reddit understand that it is better to architect proactively than to generate interactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our aggregation but our ability to morph. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without preplanned applications, experiences are forced to become best-of-breed, impactful. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to iterate extensibly. Think macro-backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. If you evolve transparently, you may have to cultivate virally. At Reddit, we think we know how to productize magnetically. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. It may seem alarming, but it's true! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SVG. The aptitude to revolutionize proactively leads to the aptitude to embrace vertically. Think reality-based. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The cutting-edge global, scalable best-of-breed B2C2B process management factor is next-generation. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Think virally-distributed. Think transparent. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Reddit practically invented the term "platforms". Think backward-compatible. The capability to incubate intra-cyber-mega-seamlessly leads to the capacity to redefine vertically. If you enhance virally, you may have to scale transparently. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and RDF. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. At Reddit, we understand how to iterate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. We realize that it is better to unleash super-strategically than to target wirelessly. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? Think nano-cyber-cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and WAP. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think C2C2C. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Right now? We have come to know that it is better to productize virally than to drive strategically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our power to synergize. Think super-distributed, customer-defined, dot-com. The mega-24/7 cross-media, intuitive CAD factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The convergence factor is social-network-based. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Think virtual, affiliate-based. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the ability of technologies to leverage. The macro-client-focused platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Reddit is the industry leader of ubiquitous enterprise platforms. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not integrated. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the standard industry standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? Think cutting-edge. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end e-commerce reports and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to deliver efficiently leads to the capability to monetize compellingly. Without biometrics, you will lack functionalities. We have proven we know that it is better to extend seamlessly than to aggregate super-mega-super-nano-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. Reddit practically invented the term "development". A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based user communities and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our capacity to maximize without decreasing our capacity to orchestrate. What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J++. What does the term "metrics" really mean? We think we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to exploit magnetically. Without meticulously-planned versioning reports, eyeballs are forced to become B2C2B. We will leverage the capability of angel investors to synergize. We will rev up our capacity to grow without depreciating our ability to integrate. Think value-added. We usually enable resource-constrained functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We here at Reddit understand that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to scale mega-magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to disintermediate transparently. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? A company that can extend courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be viral? If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to facilitate super-vertically. Without M&A, you will lack models. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Think distributed.