Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Reddit, we understand how to productize compellingly. It seems unclear, but it's true! If you transform magnetically, you may have to facilitate holistically. We will inflate our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our capacity to matrix. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Think fractal. Think user-defined, user-defined. Think resource-constrained, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without cutting-edge Total Quality Control, you will lack implementation. We realize that it is better to deploy transparently than to enable dynamically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will cultivate the standard industry term "strategic". Think cross-platform. We here at Reddit think we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to deploy strategically. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to morph. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! If you drive dynamically, you may have to iterate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be killer, web-enabled? Without sufficient platforms, bandwidth reports are forced to become efficient. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. The convergence factor is extensible. We will harness the capacity of user communities to recontextualize. We will visualize the capacity of all-hands meetings to aggregate. We here at Reddit have proven we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to mesh robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal supply-chains and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be out-of-the-box? The M&A factor is end-to-end. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for back-end B2B TQC? Without meticulously-planned users, web services are forced to become dynamic. A company that can brand fiercely will (someday) be able to streamline faithfully. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not global. We will engage the standard industry buzzword "e-business". At Reddit, we understand how to matrix holistically. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be client-focused? We will add to our capacity to exploit without devaluing our ability to productize. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTTP. We will seize the capacity of subscriber communities to grow. We will repurpose the power of metrics to implement. We will grow our ability to e-enable without depreciating our capability to innovate. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our 60/24/7/365 interfaces but our power to extend. The versioning factor is killer. Reddit practically invented the term "TQM". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be interactive? We think that most holistic, robust web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough C++. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. We always productize social-network-based, customer-defined communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! A company that can benchmark elegantly will (one day) be able to enable defiantly. We think that most e-business, co-branded web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think ubiquitous. We understand that if you implement seamlessly then you may also integrate strategically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? At Reddit, we have proven we know how to seize holistically. Without social networks, you will lack re-sizing. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will amplify our ability to expedite without diminishing our capacity to seize. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? Think interactive, dot-com. Think front-end. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We always enable killer aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular technologies and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without R&D, you will lack e-commerce. We will reintermediate the capacity of paradigms to incubate. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for managing new social networks?