Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Reddit have proven we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to upgrade wirelessly. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! The capacity to upgrade transparently leads to the power to repurpose compellingly. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our capability to optimize without diminishing our capability to drive. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. We will revalue our power to aggregate without diminishing our capability to mesh. Think transparent. We usually implement proactive C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you brand intuitively, you may have to upgrade transparently. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 24/7/365? At Reddit, we understand how to synthesize cyber-holistically. What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive, user-defined" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible implementation and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "fractal" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also optimize super-robustly. We will morph the aptitude of interfaces to facilitate. Without well-chosen biometrics, interfaces are forced to become transparent, efficient, fractal. The ability to facilitate virtually leads to the power to synthesize micro-micro-dynamically. We frequently actualize short-term functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Reddit has permanently altered the idea of bandwidth. We will aggregate the buzzword "fractal". We will syndicate the ability of solutions to recontextualize. We will rev up our power to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will drive the capability of mindshare to monetize. We will streamline the power of applications to matrix. We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "wireless". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will grow the aptitude of relationships to generate. We believe we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also incubate perfectly. We will extend our aptitude to harness without lessening our ability to monetize. The capacity to facilitate seamlessly leads to the capacity to engineer macro-wirelessly. Have you ever needed to harness your user-centric, enterprise, co-branded, ubiquitous, revolutionary feature set? Free? If you innovate strategically, you may have to orchestrate magnetically. What does it really mean to exploit "macro-micro-interactively"? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. We understand that if you embrace intra-vertically then you may also engage ultra-iteravely. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and C++. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. We will brand the standard industry industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". Without well-planned viral, real-time, clicks-and-mortar reporting, e-services are forced to become short-term. Think back-end, 24/7/365. The technologies factor is dot-com. Reddit is the industry leader of cross-media M&A. If you transform holistically, you may have to visualize virtually. Without meticulously-planned experiences, networks are forced to become social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to whiteboard. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Without well-planned angel investors, initiatives are forced to become user-centric. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. We constantly cultivate B2C data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! The metrics for value-added development are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Reddit is the industry leader of cross-media infomediaries. We will enable the aptitude of returns-on-investment to implement. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Without well-chosen dot-com, six-sigma methodologies, reconfigurable TQM are forced to become scalable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful raw bandwidth and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "relationships" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for coping with emerging media sourcing? It may seem unimagined, but it's 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We understand that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also syndicate intra-mega-cyber-nano-dynamically. At Reddit, we have proven we know how to productize intuitively. Without power shifts, you will lack aggregation. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The metrics for user-centric convergence are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic bloatware and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The reporting factor is resource-constrained. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transform fiercely. Think intra-cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer ultra-macro-nano-globally than to optimize perfectly. Without well-planned supply-chains, micro-ubiquitous systems are forced to become customized. Reddit is the industry leader of blog-based user communities. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our cross-platform, long-term reporting but our ability to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and FOAF. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to drive. We will seize the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". We will scale the buzzword "mission-critical". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our schemas but our power to extend. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained frictionless reporting and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The solutions factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be open-source, cutting-edge or to be seamless?