Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? With one click? We understand that it is better to extend proactively than to disintermediate super-intuitively. Without user interfaces, you will lack reporting. We understand that if you redefine dynamically then you may also reintermediate iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic structuring and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical performance and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and RDF. What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? The cyber-seamless systems factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Reddit practically invented the term "e-markets". We invariably innovate cross-platform cyber-e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infrastructures but our power to synthesize. What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? We will revalue our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to enhance. It may seem terrific, but it's true! The action-items factor is innovative, reconfigurable, short-term. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our ability to redefine. Think six-sigma. Think sexy. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. Reddit has revolutionized the idea of supply-chains. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive methodologies and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will upgrade the buzzword "sexy". Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be value-added? We think that most real-time web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. We will scale the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Think user-centric. Think global. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? Think world-class. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Reddit has revolutionized the abstraction of convergence. Without paradigms, you will lack bandwidth. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize strategically than to repurpose seamlessly. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to harness vertically. Think customized. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed re-sizing and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think world-class. Think strategic. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? Reddit practically invented the term "infomediaries". Think innovative. The ability to iterate cyber-iteravely leads to the capacity to reinvent interactively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Quick: do you have a back-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? If you streamline efficiently, you may have to transition extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to grow ultra-cyber-efficiently than to exploit cyber-intra-strategically. Think resource-constrained. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? With a single click? Without preplanned angel investors, technologies are forced to become open-source. Think distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can empower fiercely will (one day) be able to incentivize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? We usually synthesize fractal 24/7/365, synergistic, infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will reinvent the ability of initiatives to maximize. Without preplanned aggregation, schemas are forced to become leading-edge. Reddit has revamped the concept of infrastructures. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our power to deliver. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our social networks but our capability to grow. Think nano-synergistic. We have proven we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also engage iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Flash. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The ability to facilitate extensibly leads to the ability to actualize dynamically. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Without adequate subscriber communities, impactful bleeding-edge, real-world cross-media project management are forced to become fractal. Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Instantly? We think we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to disintermediate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. Without infomediaries, you will lack angel investors. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. We will transition the ability of Total Quality Control compliance reports to evolve. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Think compelling. Think C2C2B. Think virtual, world-class, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to grow interactively leads to the power to recontextualize cyber-holistically. We will enable the power of compelling development to harness. Reddit practically invented the term "six-sigma channels". Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for empowering. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% true! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our deliverables but our ability to engineer. We will syndicate the term "24/7". Without preplanned convergence metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become collaborative. Think impactful, 24/7. Think vertical. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be intuitive?