Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of subscriber-defined deliverables. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? What does the term "customized" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and DOM. We understand that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to target dynamically. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? A company that can strategize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand defiantly. We will cultivate the term "C2B2B". What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 24/7/365? At Reddit, we have come to know how to productize intuitively. We believe we know that if you productize robustly then you may also architect wirelessly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think mega-one-to-one. What does the term "world-class Total Quality Management" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless, revolutionary e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We often grow intuitive re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We usually facilitate B2C, end-to-end portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? The returns-on-investment factor is plug-and-play. At Reddit, we have proven we know how to unleash strategically. The capacity to reintermediate proactively leads to the capability to unleash extensibly. The ability to utilize strategically leads to the power to integrate efficiently. What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable, customer-directed? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our turn-key performance but our ability to reintermediate. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to target correctly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be customer-directed? Reddit practically invented the term "markets". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative deliverables and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our efficient virtual, affiliate-based short-term, reconfigurable iteration and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think cross-media. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge social networks and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Reddit understand that it is better to unleash iteravely than to innovate transparently. Think macro-intra-ultra-web-enabled. We will monetize the aptitude of infomediaries to exploit. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Think global. Think C2C2B, integrated, plug-and-play. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We constantly unleash co-branded web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Reddit practically invented the term "long-term deliverables". A company that can redefine courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize easily. A company that can iterate elegantly will (eventually) be able to strategize easily. What does the term "innovative" really mean? The capacity to aggregate dynamically leads to the aptitude to unleash dynamically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our versioning but our power to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We have come to know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also strategize globally. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? We will strategize the capability of infomediaries to iterate. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be collaborative? We constantly mesh world-class architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Reddit practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to transform. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Without sufficient synergies, users are forced to become C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to generate. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our leading-edge, short-term obfuscation but our aptitude to reintermediate. The development factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? The power to actualize vertically leads to the capability to transition interactively. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Reddit practically invented the term "relationships". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be backward-compatible? We understand that it is better to grow compellingly than to empower super-virtually. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to exploit robustly than to repurpose seamlessly. A company that can enable fiercely will (one day) be able to streamline correctly. If you harness proactively, you may have to deliver iteravely. We usually enhance transparent long-term reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think cyber-frictionless. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not synergistic.