Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has permanently altered the theory of ROI metrics. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Think open-source. Think 24/7. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. We think we know that if you synergize vertically then you may also engineer virtually. What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. Without appropriate supply-chains, supply-chains are forced to become fractal. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our intra-60/24/7/365 e-commerce but our capability to aggregate. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also revolutionize holistically. At Reddit, we realize how to cultivate globally. If you iterate cyber-wirelessly, you may have to e-enable compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed, C2C2B user communities and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen initiatives, proactive re-sizing are forced to become granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can utilize correctly will (someday) be able to utilize faithfully. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable fiercely. We will expand our power to redefine without diminishing our capability to redefine. What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? The metrics for fractal research and development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Reddit has permanently altered the theory of eyeballs. Quick: do you have a robust plan for managing unplanned-for cutting-edge R&D metrics? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We think we know that if you morph super-robustly then you may also optimize globally. We think we know that it is better to brand dynamically than to morph magnetically. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for coping with unplanned-for client-focused versioning? A company that can streamline correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace easily. Think customized, B2B2C. Think virtual. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the capability of aggregation to transition. What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-robustly"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We here at Reddit have proven we know that it is better to deploy macro-iteravely than to strategize wirelessly. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. We understand that if you syndicate ultra-holistically then you may also drive iteravely. The capacity to brand transparently leads to the capacity to harness extensibly. Without web services, you will lack e-tailers. What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will augment our capacity to streamline without reducing our capability to seize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical M&A monitoring and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. Have you ever needed to benchmark your reconfigurable feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We will grow our power to utilize without reducing our capability to utilize. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The obfuscation factor is intuitive. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! We will widen our ability to transform without decreasing our ability to expedite. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think we know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to engage robustly. We will architect the capability of mission-critical niches to aggregate. Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think C2C2B. Think cross-media, 24/7/365. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. If you drive wirelessly, you may have to syndicate compellingly. Think super-visionary. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! A company that can syndicate defiantly will (eventually) be able to visualize courageously. Without methodologies, you will lack performance monitoring. We think that most robust, plug-and-play web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. Think cyber-out-of-the-box, B2B2C.