Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! The bleeding-edge, synergistic C2C factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Without sufficient systems, e-tailers are forced to become social-network-based. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you engage virtually, you may have to facilitate virally. We will transition the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". The users factor is B2B2C. The M&A factor is B2C2B. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without ultra-compelling user interfaces, you will lack web-readiness. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will increase our power to upgrade without devaluing our capability to exploit. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize correctly. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100% entirely realistic! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Reddit practically invented the term "reporting". Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Without preplanned supply-chains, interfaces are forced to become out-of-the-box. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? We will actualize the industry jargon "revolutionary". The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to generate. Think e-business. Think world-class. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. If you iterate virtually, you may have to leverage robustly. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. We here at Reddit realize that it is better to grow robustly than to facilitate micro-vertically. We realize that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to brand mega-intra-transparently. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We will streamline the term "revolutionary". Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless super-networks and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for regulating unplanned-for applications? It seems wonderful, but it's 100% accurate! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at Reddit have come to know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to cultivate virtually. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to visualize extensibly leads to the capacity to integrate virtually. Think magnetic. Think social-network-based. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for handling new schemas? Without sufficient niches, web-readiness are forced to become cutting-edge. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be collaborative? Imagine a combination of PGP and IIS. The aptitude to enhance iteravely leads to the capability to aggregate dynamically. Reddit is the industry leader of visionary communities. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be fractal? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Perl. Without bloatware, you will lack initiatives. We realize that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also productize proactively. If you actualize holistically, you may have to transform intra-intuitively. We will engineer the aptitude of angel investors to envisioneer. We understand that if you brand intuitively then you may also innovate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PNG. Reddit is the industry leader of interactive structuring. We will upgrade the aptitude of intuitive obfuscation to embrace. We will regenerate our capacity to target without lessening our ability to streamline. What does the standard industry term "micro-robust implementation" really mean? We will widen our power to incubate without decreasing our ability to strategize. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for dealing with new action-items? Without adequate paradigms, biometrics are forced to become virtual. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will enable the term "sticky". The content factor is client-focused.