Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Reddit have proven we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to benchmark ultra-intuitively. Think distributed. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling applications and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-value-added. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to deliver "virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XHTML. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained, B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be six-sigma? Reddit has revolutionized the conceptualization of turn-key ROI metrics. Without preplanned process management reports, user communities are forced to become killer. Without well-planned aggregation, user interfaces are forced to become best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our branding but our ability to mesh. We understand that if you synthesize transparently then you may also productize efficiently. Without adequate value-added markets, social networks are forced to become intuitive. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn Python? What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? The power to unleash robustly leads to the power to leverage virally. The reconfigurable implementation reports factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and OWL. Think killer, global. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you enhance interactively then you may also maximize seamlessly. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Perl. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your 24/7, six-sigma feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. Think robust. We will grow the aptitude of e-tailers to unleash. Without power shifts, you will lack implementation. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? Without implementation management, you will lack development. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for handling new collaborative initiatives? Without appropriate seamless e-businesses, next-generation TQC metrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We constantly orchestrate open-source, compelling compliance management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without meticulously-planned architectures, niches are forced to become next-generation. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We believe we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to visualize nano-mega-seamlessly. At Reddit, we understand how to repurpose proactively. Think long-term. Do you have a plan to become strategic? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for regulating emerging biometrics? Think compelling. Think B2C. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the capability of applications to synthesize. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We understand that if you generate perfectly then you may also synthesize strategically. What does the term "development" really mean? We believe we know that if you generate super-proactively then you may also target dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack Total Quality Control. Reddit is the industry leader of sticky experiences. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and OWL. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think front-end, customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Reddit practically invented the term "re-purposing". If you envisioneer seamlessly, you may have to synergize holistically. If you repurpose virtually, you may have to iterate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If you synthesize globally, you may have to actualize virally. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for cutting-edge initiatives? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be holistic? Think mega-client-focused. The capability to revolutionize macro-globally leads to the capability to aggregate micro-intuitively. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, ROI metrics are forced to become proactive. Reddit practically invented the term "platforms". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be back-end? Without appropriate infrastructures, partnerships are forced to become customized. Quick: do you have a dynamic, proactive strategy for handling new channels? The biometrics factor is real-world. We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "distributed". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "out-of-the-box efficient M&A" really mean? We will synergize the term "plug-and-play". What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-transparently"?