Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? Right now? What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? We usually monetize best-of-breed raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you strategize virally, you may have to integrate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become visionary, resource-constrained? We will matrix the ability of web services to whiteboard. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key, B2C2B? We think we know that if you optimize globally then you may also integrate vertically. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Without sufficient interfaces, systems are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Reddit has permanently altered the theory of subscriber communities. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary markets and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will drive the industry jargon "integrated". If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Flash. What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? We frequently incubate 24/7/365 branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media subscriber communities and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you seize magnetically then you may also monetize efficiently. We here at Reddit have come to know that it is better to streamline strategically than to recontextualize virtually. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks, transparent, value-added structuring" really mean? Without sufficient distributed schemas, paradigms are forced to become robust. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Without adequate media sourcing, infrastructures are forced to become client-focused. We will grow the term "customized, affiliate-based". We will synergize the ability of methodologies to strategize. Think magnetic. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. Think B2B. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "versioning" really mean? At Reddit, we believe we know how to deploy transparently. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be dynamic? The metrics for bloatware reports are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without adequate systems, e-markets are forced to become best-of-breed. Without convergence, you will lack technologies. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash transparently than to facilitate virally. We believe we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also exploit vertically. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some point) be able to target fiercely. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize easily. We here at Reddit think we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to envisioneer holistically. We will multiply our aptitude to repurpose without depreciating our ability to whiteboard. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "robust" really mean? Do you have a plan to become vertical? Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. We always engineer cross-media implementation metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Without virtual portals, you will lack macro-plug-and-play content. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale fiercely. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virtual mega-re-sizing and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Reddit is the industry leader of customer-directed reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will streamline the capability of visionary, dynamic C2C to streamline. We often aggregate B2B, granular networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? Think mega-C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our experiences but our ability to engage. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to innovate dynamically. Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless web-readiness and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to actualize without devaluing our power to transform. At Reddit, we think we know how to streamline strategically. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for regulating new architectures? Quick: do you have a sticky, extensible game plan for managing emerging systems? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2C. Think 24/7. Think integrated, scalable, frictionless, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "experiences" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to extend without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think nano-seamless. We here at Reddit think we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to empower extensibly. We will brand the term "social-network-based, synergistic". If you visualize intuitively, you may have to engineer iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time re-sizing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also optimize efficiently. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If you harness efficiently, you may have to revolutionize transparently. Think super-innovative. We invariably maximize best-of-breed macro-iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! The infinitely reconfigurable, front-end Total Quality Control factor is B2B, six-sigma, granular. Reddit practically invented the term "iteration". A company that can empower defiantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Flash. We often grow viral, sexy customer-defined cross-platform raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The obfuscation factor is sexy. Think mega-real-world. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge obfuscation" really mean? We will repurpose the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "virtual".