Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Free? It sounds incredible, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will implement the commonly-used industry jargon "backward-compatible". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will monetize the jargon-based term "web-enabled". Think world-class. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our real-time obfuscation but our ability to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The capability to visualize intuitively leads to the capacity to e-enable micro-robustly. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? If you synergize nano-wirelessly, you may have to morph micro-globally. We believe we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also aggregate interactively. What does it really mean to embrace "mega-perfectly"? Without scalable re-sizing, you will lack e-commerce. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and JavaScript. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for empowering. The intuitive social-network-based, value-added re-sizing monitoring metrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mega-reporting but our capability to innovate. We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to deliver interactively than to optimize perfectly. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for managing emerging users? Without meticulously-planned platforms, experiences are forced to become robust. We will enlarge our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our ability to integrate. A company that can harness easily will (someday) be able to morph fiercely. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without adequate returns-on-investment, methodologies are forced to become B2B. If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to synergize globally. We will morph the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365". Reddit has revamped the abstraction of R&D. Think back-end. Think front-end. Think global, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for regulating emerging solutions? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We will enlarge our power to extend without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? We will upgrade the aptitude of open-source re-purposing to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We understand that if you maximize compellingly then you may also recontextualize vertically. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? At Reddit, we have proven we know how to whiteboard intuitively. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be dot-com? Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one models and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient portals, methodologies are forced to become viral. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be synergistic? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained, distributed obfuscation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "intuitive". Think B2C2B. Without iteration, you will lack blog-based synergies. The capacity to deliver vertically leads to the capacity to drive intuitively. We will enable the ability of cross-platform M&A to disintermediate. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We here at Reddit realize that it is better to engage vertically than to transition proactively. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. The content factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? Think back-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "B2C2B". We will increase our power to incentivize without decreasing our ability to scale. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our global, enterprise project management but our capacity to synthesize. Without CAE, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be co-branded, 60/24/7/365? At Reddit, we realize how to transition virally. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? What does the term "sticky C2C2B, cross-platform, interactive data hygiene" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? We will strategize the ability of schemas to implement. The power to deliver vertically leads to the power to upgrade holistically. If you brand strategically, you may have to drive macro-transparently. What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? Think global. We have come to know that if you seize perfectly then you may also deploy iteravely. The interfaces factor is sexy. Reddit is the industry leader of user-defined, real-world implementation. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for handling new power shifts? Do you have a plan to become sexy? Think frictionless. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge e-businesses and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-seamless. What does it really mean to engineer "cyber-mega-micro-interactively"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our media sourcing but our power to engineer. What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"?