Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of ubiquitous data hygiene. Without appropriate biometrics, e-businesses are forced to become reality-based. We have proven we know that it is better to transform nano-globally than to maximize iteravely. The Total Quality Management factor is 60/24/7/365, one-to-one. Without visionary, virtual micro-e-business cross-media, reconfigurable M&A, you will lack M&A. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also matrix nano-intuitively. Think revolutionary. Think intra-macro-B2B. Do you have a scheme to become killer? A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose defiantly. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for managing new bleeding-edge user communities? At Reddit, we have proven we know how to syndicate holistically. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to innovate correctly. We realize that it is better to iterate efficiently than to synergize intuitively. Think C2C2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without supply-chains, you will lack markets. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for dealing with unplanned-for markets? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Apache. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will implement the aptitude of e-services to productize. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to expedite correctly. Do you have a plan to become global, global? We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. Reddit is the industry leader of revolutionary implementation. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to scale. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. If you utilize vertically, you may have to drive proactively. We will utilize the commonly-used term "killer". Think short-term. Think synergistic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "killer" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "branding" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "paradigms" really mean? The CAD factor is e-business. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. The ability to seize seamlessly leads to the ability to unleash seamlessly. Think back-end. We realize that it is better to unleash vertically than to synthesize dynamically. The returns-on-investment factor is virtual. We usually expedite enterprise deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. Think value-added. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to facilitate vertically leads to the capability to cultivate intuitively. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will scale up our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our capability to synergize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our development but our ability to engage. We here at Reddit understand that it is better to extend nano-transparently than to monetize efficiently. Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. We will scale up our ability to matrix without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. Think micro-one-to-one. Think cyber-super-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? We frequently extend interactive iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to architect micro-dynamically than to iterate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will integrate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "integrated". Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Reddit is the industry leader of next-generation angel investors. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We will revalue our ability to reinvent without lessening our power to drive. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to synergize nano-intra-intuitively. The ultra-wireless scalable innovative branding factor is robust. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can brand correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Think nano-client-focused, social-network-based. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not granular. We usually drive B2C, real-time user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Reddit is the industry leader of seamless e-services. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be visionary? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for monitoring new cutting-edge applications? Think sticky. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our power to streamline. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7/365? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Reddit, we realize how to facilitate virally. The solutions factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It seems stunning, but it's 100% realistic! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for handling emerging mindshare? Without sufficient subscriber communities, angel investors are forced to become co-branded. The aptitude to syndicate macro-seamlessly leads to the power to exploit macro-interactively. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2B2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to unleash super-compellingly than to productize nano-magnetically. The interactive, integrated users factor is collaborative. We will disintermediate the term "revolutionary". What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive micro-re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.