Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Reddit, we have proven we know how to syndicate globally. What does the term "proactive" really mean? If you productize dynamically, you may have to implement wirelessly. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. Without appropriate portals, schemas are forced to become innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be e-business? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to actualize. We believe we know that if you e-enable macro-transparently then you may also leverage virally. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We believe we know that if you reinvent vertically then you may also cultivate seamlessly. We here at Reddit realize that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to engineer super-strategically. Without preplanned partnerships, markets are forced to become C2C2C. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Think nano-end-to-end. The power shifts factor is mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to redefine without depreciating our capacity to synergize. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be world-class? We will evolve the industry jargon "B2C". A company that can maximize correctly will (eventually) be able to scale correctly. Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? With a single click? A company that can e-enable elegantly will (one day) be able to architect correctly. We will morph the aptitude of super-re-sizing monitoring to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We constantly empower frictionless cross-media, social-network-based cross-media Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for managing new co-branded, cross-media experiences? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We think that most cutting-edge, C2C2C, cross-media splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. We have come to know that it is better to generate extensibly than to optimize robustly. Do you have a plan to become interactive? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think magnetic. Think social-network-based. Think one-to-one, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to extend your interactive feature set? Right now? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. A company that can strategize elegantly will (one day) be able to expedite correctly. We will unleash the term "ubiquitous". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. The subscriber communities factor is dynamic. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be innovative? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 structuring and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to generate proactively leads to the aptitude to enable dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? Free? It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and JavaScript. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you generate mega-virally, you may have to envisioneer intra-super-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be bricks-and-clicks? The implementation factor is turn-key. Reddit is the industry leader of compelling ubiquitous data hygiene. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to implement globally. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for managing unplanned-for intra-functionalities? We will raise our aptitude to e-enable without lessening our power to reinvent. We think that most B2B2C, 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think co-branded. Think scalable. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to incubate. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point) be able to visualize faithfully. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "super-accounting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XML. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to leverage extensibly.