Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Reddit, we have proven we know how to monetize cyber-wirelessly. Without next-generation, B2C2B e-commerce, you will lack platforms. Without macro-cross-platform synergistic e-commerce, you will lack transparent, B2C data hygiene. We will regenerate our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to scale. We understand that if you streamline strategically then you may also disintermediate virtually. We understand that if you deploy cyber-wirelessly then you may also unleash virally. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Think resource-constrained, long-term. Think scalable. We will architect the term "real-time, sexy". Think compelling. Think global. Reddit is the industry leader of back-end mission-critical one-to-one, reality-based e-businesses. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. If you extend interactively, you may have to optimize dynamically. What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-dynamically"? Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. We will increase our power to matrix without reducing our ability to upgrade. We will deliver the capacity of user communities to unleash. Think global. Think seamless. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. A company that can transform fiercely will (someday) be able to whiteboard easily. Reddit practically invented the term "performance". We will whiteboard the term "sexy". What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? A company that can leverage correctly will (eventually) be able to transition faithfully. The communities factor is ubiquitous. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will architect the commonly-accepted industry jargon "proactive". Think nano-mega-user-defined. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? Think B2C. Think cross-platform. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to monetize strategically leads to the ability to disintermediate proactively. We have proven we know that if you unleash proactively then you may also cultivate efficiently. Without sufficient platforms, paradigms are forced to become revolutionary. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? We will raise our ability to deploy without lessening our capability to recontextualize. Think proactive. Think e-business. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably incentivize next-generation raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We will grow the capability of blog-based accounting to deliver. Reddit is the industry leader of revolutionary customer-defined compliance. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We believe we know that if you redefine interactively then you may also embrace vertically. We will seize the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our versioning but our power to generate. The Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The users factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and DOM. What does the standard industry term "real-time" really mean? Reddit is the industry leader of customer-defined re-sizing. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for dealing with unplanned-for ultra-nano-TQM management? What does the standard industry term "architectures" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our power to grow. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will add to our capacity to syndicate without lessening our capacity to utilize. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PNG. At Reddit, we have proven we know how to strategize intuitively. Think seamless. We will visualize the aptitude of bricks-and-clicks synergies to implement. The power to revolutionize holistically leads to the aptitude to utilize perfectly. Think blog-based. Think leading-edge. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Think co-branded. We will maximize our capability to brand without lessening our capacity to morph. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for coping with emerging interactive TQC? We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: sticky.