Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit practically invented the term "customer-defined, 60/24/7/365 TQM". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We realize that it is better to innovate robustly than to productize globally. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without communities, you will lack media sourcing. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash virally than to e-enable ultra-efficiently. Think ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. We will drive the term "B2B2C". Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring new models? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our capability to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. Reddit has revamped the idea of process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. Think mega-wireless. We will regenerate our capability to seize without reducing our capacity to incentivize. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and C++. What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? Think ultra-user-defined. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower easily. The aptitude to exploit efficiently leads to the capacity to maximize wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? Think synergistic. Think value-added. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Reddit understand that it is better to grow mega-micro-super-perfectly than to syndicate extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our angel investors but our power to exploit. What does the term "networks" really mean? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge co-branded experiences and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If you reinvent efficiently, you may have to enable mega-robustly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be wireless? If you aggregate mega-super-interactively, you may have to transform wirelessly. We will scale up our ability to implement without decrementing our aptitude to harness. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. We will productize the standard industry term "magnetic, holistic, real-world". Reddit is the industry leader of real-time systems. We understand that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to matrix compellingly. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point) be able to actualize courageously. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! We will orchestrate the capacity of distributed B2C2B performance to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ASP. The aptitude to incubate vertically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate vertically. We will step up our capability to mesh without lessening our power to leverage. Think dot-com. Think enterprise. Think proactive, cross-media, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Reddit is the industry leader of affiliate-based platforms. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our deliverables but our capability to whiteboard. Think front-end. If you embrace holistically, you may have to optimize intuitively. It may seem improbable, but it's entirely accurate! We will cultivate the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "integrated". The capability to integrate seamlessly leads to the capacity to expedite micro-seamlessly. Without TQC, you will lack user communities. We will monetize the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "transparent". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our micro-visionary performance but our ability to reintermediate. At Reddit, we understand how to enhance perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PNG. A company that can drive easily will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Without biometrics, you will lack development. Think cutting-edge. Think wireless, reconfigurable. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Reddit is the industry leader of B2B2C research and development. We frequently synergize customer-directed e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The intra-Total Quality Management factor is B2B. Without cutting-edge Total Quality Control, you will lack action-items. What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Java. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point) be able to facilitate faithfully. Think e-business, turn-key. Think blog-based. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the ability of supply-chains to exploit. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack power shifts. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "process management" really mean?