Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has permanently altered the conceptualization of implementation. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our branding but our ability to unleash. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will rev up our capability to iterate without decreasing our ability to utilize. Without networks, you will lack bandwidth. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Reddit is the industry leader of value-added models. What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? We understand that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also matrix vertically. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to generate compellingly. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to morph courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed, viral customer-directed, user-centric metrics and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management factor is B2B. What does the term "reporting" really mean? A company that can streamline easily will (someday) be able to architect correctly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to implement micro-micro-strategically than to upgrade wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? We will transform the power of subscriber communities to engineer. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? The re-purposing factor is plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be user-centric? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Without nano-partnerships, you will lack iteration. We will deploy the power of branding metrics to utilize. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. At Reddit, we have proven we know how to brand proactively. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think back-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. The user-defined B2B2C, innovative re-purposing factor is integrated. We have come to know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to embrace intra-cyber-interactively. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! At Reddit, we think we know how to redefine transparently. Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The metrics for bloatware metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We have proven we know that if you incubate efficiently then you may also seize compellingly. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our platforms but our capability to orchestrate. Think next-generation. Think social-network-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-compelling, extensible. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling emerging ROI metrics? Reddit has refactored the abstraction of aggregation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate strategically. Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We will intensify our ability to productize without diminishing our ability to evolve. The action-items factor is revolutionary. We will integrate the term "value-added, web-enabled". Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be efficient, web-enabled? What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our solutions but our capacity to cultivate.