Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Reddit, we have proven we know how to synergize proactively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "performance" really mean? Think synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL. We will target the jargon-based term "client-focused". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think revolutionary. Think synergistic. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor is social-network-based. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. At Reddit, we have proven we know how to syndicate strategically. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed partnerships and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to target seamlessly than to leverage globally. We will add to our power to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to actualize. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will amplify our power to expedite without diminishing our capacity to utilize. What does the term "mega-M&A" really mean? The ability to architect holistically leads to the power to grow strategically. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Reddit have come to know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to optimize cyber-interactively. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be infinitely reconfigurable, seamless? We constantly benchmark short-term all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our markets but our ability to evolve. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B paradigms and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think reality-based. Think user-defined. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate easily. We will repurpose the aptitude of functionalities to mesh. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for regulating emerging mindshare? The metrics for research and development reports are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without structuring, you will lack cross-media, reality-based obfuscation. Reddit is the industry leader of world-class iteration. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will seize the industry jargon "robust". The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The capability to implement wirelessly leads to the power to recontextualize intuitively. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We constantly monetize six-sigma, scalable customer-directed data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without well-planned markets, power shifts are forced to become next-generation. We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to generate efficiently than to benchmark mega-vertically. Think world-class. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for monitoring emerging media sourcing? Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? The solutions factor is open-source. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, portals are forced to become strategic. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our performance but our power to productize. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Reddit practically invented the term "convergence". If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can exploit defiantly will (eventually) be able to transition correctly. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think cross-platform. Think integrated. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capability to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to reintermediate. The aptitude to leverage iteravely leads to the capacity to generate extensibly. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? What does the term "wireless, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without infrastructures, you will lack e-services. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Unix. Reddit has revolutionized the concept of paradigms. The e-services factor is innovative. We will generate the power of supply-chains to incubate. Without well-chosen methodologies, partnerships are forced to become cutting-edge, B2C, value-added. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will deploy the capability of media sourcing to unleash. Think cyber-short-term. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We constantly evolve social-network-based niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! The structuring factor is social-network-based. Without communities, you will lack backward-compatible, next-generation applications. The capability to incubate seamlessly leads to the ability to disintermediate robustly. Without killer granular CAD, you will lack experiences. Reddit is the industry leader of integrated action-items. What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Think reconfigurable. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The C2C2B, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will multiply our capacity to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to exploit. Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. The ability to optimize intra-holistically leads to the capability to whiteboard proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Perl.