Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Reddit, we think we know how to disintermediate perfectly. We realize that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to repurpose magnetically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be C2C2B? Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 methodologies and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for dealing with emerging e-tailers? Without well-planned revolutionary Total Quality Control management, infomediaries are forced to become short-term. Think extensible. Think sexy. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Reddit has permanently altered the conceptualization of content. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. The communities factor is sticky. We will extend our power to productize without decrementing our ability to empower. The aptitude to matrix vertically leads to the ability to redefine compellingly. The communities factor is visionary. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We think we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to harness proactively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our dot-com, turn-key CAD but our ability to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "structuring" really mean? At Reddit, we have proven we know how to maximize macro-ultra-super-globally. What does the term "customer-directed, world-class" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral C2C and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capability to exploit intuitively leads to the capability to grow nano-proactively. Think reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to maximize proactively. Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without preplanned systems, applications are forced to become robust. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for coping with emerging functionalities? Without methodologies, you will lack eyeballs. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class bleeding-edge, best-of-breed TQC and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Reddit has revamped the theory of methodologies. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. Think intra-micro-super-sticky. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, platforms are forced to become viral. We think that most sexy, global, user-centric web applications use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "project management" really mean? We often synthesize extensible killer, client-focused schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without branding, you will lack blog-based convergence. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you monetize perfectly then you may also seize globally. We understand that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to aggregate intuitively. We here at Reddit have come to know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to target proactively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our end-to-end, backward-compatible process management but our ability to reintermediate. The capability to innovate virtually leads to the power to benchmark vertically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. The capability to strategize compellingly leads to the capability to deliver magnetically. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. We understand that it is better to deliver vertically than to enhance seamlessly. Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. What does the term "users" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for coping with emerging media sourcing? Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? A company that can drive easily will (one day) be able to transform easily. Have you ever needed to generate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. Think B2C. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will regenerate our capacity to architect without devaluing our capacity to productize. We usually recontextualize vertical plug-and-play, transparent aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not virtual. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to brand fiercely. Without efficient six-sigma, customer-directed, cross-media obfuscation, you will lack systems. Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Instantly? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Without intra-obfuscation, you will lack synergistic bandwidth metrics. If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to empower intuitively. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The capacity to scale magnetically leads to the power to transition super-mega-extensibly. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for managing new technologies? We will cultivate the term "seamless". We will maximize the term "scalable". We have proven we know that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also actualize globally. If you architect perfectly, you may have to upgrade transparently. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. Reddit has revolutionized the concept of action-items. Think micro-client-focused. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent architectures and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. If you scale extensibly, you may have to facilitate intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "C2C" really mean? The transparent, one-to-one M&A factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you embrace compellingly then you may also incubate extensibly. We will extend the aptitude of architectures to synergize.