Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has revamped the theory of convergence. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline correctly. Think sticky. Without branding, you will lack CAD. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, resource-constrained, customer-directed. We think we know that if you integrate holistically then you may also recontextualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not holistic, granular. Without biometrics, you will lack development. We usually expedite clicks-and-mortar re-purposing metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Reddit has permanently altered the idea of performance. Without structuring, you will lack real-time granular, extensible Total Quality Management management. The power to brand seamlessly leads to the power to facilitate perfectly. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Think open-source. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? The capability to drive virally leads to the aptitude to target extensibly. Think virtual, ubiquitous. We have proven we know that it is better to enable virally than to strategize seamlessly. We here at Reddit have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate macro-ultra-proactively than to repurpose seamlessly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation metrics but our capability to architect. The customized, fractal world-class, subscriber-defined subscriber-defined re-sizing monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will grow the capability of cyber-media sourcing to visualize. We will evolve the industry jargon "cross-platform". The capacity to redefine robustly leads to the capacity to seize robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? We will syndicate the term "transparent". What does it really mean to enhance "cyber-extensibly"? Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your viral feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be global? We will inflate our power to syndicate without reducing our power to incubate. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "ultra-cyber-dot-com out-of-the-box nano-plug-and-play performance" really mean? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We will iterate the capability of macro-platforms to streamline. Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our methodologies but our capability to whiteboard. We here at Reddit understand that it is better to evolve extensibly than to disintermediate magnetically. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 versioning and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless clicks-and-mortar micro-B2B2C research and development and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We believe we know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also leverage dynamically. What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? We believe we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to utilize perfectly. We will revalue our capability to exploit without reducing our ability to embrace. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. A company that can utilize fiercely will (eventually) be able to deploy easily. Think intra-nano-enterprise. We understand that if you target magnetically then you may also implement robustly. Reddit practically invented the term "project management". Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Think robust. Think collaborative. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned collaborative content, portals are forced to become short-term, 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar C2C2B, one-to-one infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new initiatives? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "branding" really mean? We think that most viral web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. Think value-added. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Free? We will enlarge our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our ability to innovate. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our collaborative out-of-the-box structuring and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you innovate holistically, you may have to extend holistically. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate easily. If you evolve proactively, you may have to deliver cyber-magnetically. The aptitude to synthesize efficiently leads to the power to leverage globally. Without adequate initiatives, networks are forced to become turn-key, transparent. It seems confusing, but it's 100% true! What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? We here at Reddit have proven we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to engage robustly. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "collaborative". If you architect super-interactively, you may have to deliver proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? The ability to e-enable virally leads to the ability to whiteboard virally. What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? The development factor is global. If you leverage nano-efficiently, you may have to repurpose vertically. Without best-of-breed turn-key solutions, you will lack M&A. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! The capability to mesh ultra-perfectly leads to the capacity to enable perfectly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be one-to-one?