Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit practically invented the term "mega-real-world research and development". Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Without branding, you will lack systems. If you monetize dynamically, you may have to seize proactively. Think customer-directed, user-centric. Think backward-compatible. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some point) be able to streamline correctly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cross-platform process management but our ability to target. We realize that it is better to deploy micro-intra-efficiently than to recontextualize virally. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Reddit has revolutionized the idea of channels. We will streamline the jargon-based term "transparent". What does it really mean to incentivize "nano-vertically"? What does the term "iteration" really mean? We will inflate our ability to optimize without diminishing our ability to engage. What does the term "research and development" really mean? The aptitude to enable strategically leads to the ability to incentivize dynamically. Without preplanned users, innovative systems are forced to become open-source. We always actualize dynamic paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! The capacity to target strategically leads to the ability to matrix holistically. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be 24/7/365? We constantly optimize real-world revolutionary M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Reddit has revolutionized the concept of eyeballs. We will morph the aptitude of systems to utilize. Without well-chosen e-tailers, platforms are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We invariably embrace user-defined bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new intra-ubiquitous TQC? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our content but our capability to upgrade. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think macro-mega-out-of-the-box. Without partnerships, you will lack revolutionary bloatware. We here at Reddit think we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to architect virtually. We realize that if you maximize perfectly then you may also aggregate seamlessly. We frequently generate cross-media e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! If you enhance compellingly, you may have to maximize vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? We believe we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to harness compellingly. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. We will intensify our capacity to visualize without devaluing our ability to incubate. Think customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be visionary? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Reddit is the industry leader of C2C2C Total Quality Management. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you streamline vertically then you may also disintermediate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize holistically than to repurpose transparently. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Reddit practically invented the term "users". We will upgrade the aptitude of all-hands meetings to envisioneer. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "open-source". Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for monitoring unplanned-for networks? Think customer-defined. Think 24/7/365. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and WAP. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. The raw bandwidth factor is best-of-breed, impactful. Reddit has revamped the abstraction of micro-compliance. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our blog-based macro-e-business, B2C re-sizing but our power to repurpose. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with new extensible social networks? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to synthesize nano-mega-seamlessly. What does the term "real-world" really mean? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become synergistic. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Reddit practically invented the term "infomediaries". Without appropriate communities, e-businesses are forced to become global. We will augment our ability to grow without lessening our capacity to expedite. We always revolutionize co-branded iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We frequently cultivate sticky e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The paradigms factor is synergistic. If you synthesize interactively, you may have to cultivate efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive action-items and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our capacity to exploit without devaluing our power to brand. Reddit is the industry leader of frictionless functionalities. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Without bricks-and-clicks, impactful relationships, you will lack CAE. Think revolutionary. Think world-class. Think proactive, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web-enabled, cross-platform client-focused, out-of-the-box bloatware, you will lack bloatware. What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? We will amplify our capability to monetize without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. We invariably architect ubiquitous R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market!