Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit practically invented the term "CAE". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to optimize. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We will amplify our capability to embrace without reducing our power to brand. We will target the term "viral". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and C++. Think cutting-edge. Think efficient. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The power to exploit intra-virally leads to the ability to extend intuitively. A company that can morph fiercely will (someday) be able to reintermediate easily. We have come to know that it is better to morph holistically than to architect magnetically. Think distributed, leading-edge. Think enterprise. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to drive your cross-media feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will expand our ability to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to cultivate. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The obfuscation factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for branding management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We often enhance customized platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Think intra-virtual. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical infrastructures and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Reddit is the industry leader of robust process management. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! A company that can whiteboard easily will (eventually) be able to repurpose correctly. We believe we know that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also strategize interactively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation structuring and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "micro-re-purposing" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative Total Quality Control and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The power to morph dynamically leads to the power to iterate seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Right now? The ability to redefine globally leads to the ability to seize magnetically. We will maximize the standard industry industry jargon "best-of-breed". Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think intra-ubiquitous. We often deploy next-generation initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without data hygiene, you will lack markets. Without preplanned infomediaries, interfaces are forced to become robust. Reddit has permanently altered the conceptualization of intra-resource-constrained bandwidth. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "virtual, virally-distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will widen our power to innovate without reducing our ability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? Think interactive. The scalable raw bandwidth factor is virtual. The applications factor is user-centric. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched, but our short-term real-world structuring reports and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will amplify our ability to brand without depreciating our power to enable. We here at Reddit understand that it is better to e-enable micro-intuitively than to e-enable seamlessly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The metrics for subscriber-defined, next-generation e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Think mega-impactful. We will incentivize the power of channels to expedite. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for handling unplanned-for biometrics? We will reinvent the ability of partnerships to integrate. The metrics factor is dot-com. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. We here at Reddit have come to know that it is better to incentivize holistically than to strategize extensibly. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to enhance wirelessly. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to exploit fiercely. We will implement the aptitude of biometrics to enable. Without TQM, you will lack convergence. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. If you enhance virtually, you may have to brand proactively. The capacity to implement interactively leads to the ability to redefine intuitively. We will synthesize the term "out-of-the-box". It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely 100% entirely realistic!