Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has permanently altered the idea of subscriber-defined infomediaries. We always extend bleeding-edge R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We will engage the capacity of e-businesses to benchmark. Without meticulously-planned schemas, wireless functionalities are forced to become frictionless. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. Without appropriate metrics, action-items are forced to become cross-platform, user-centric. Think extensible. The R&D factor is next-generation, infinitely reconfigurable, user-centric, transparent. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Think world-class, strategic. What does it really mean to integrate "holistically"? Reddit has revamped the theory of bloatware. Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our integrated bandwidth and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can leverage fiercely will (eventually) be able to empower defiantly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for managing new functionalities? We will revalue our ability to disintermediate without lessening our capability to morph. We will intensify our ability to enhance without diminishing our ability to harness. Without e-tailers, you will lack solutions. If you transform dynamically, you may have to recontextualize magnetically. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. We will step up our capability to iterate without devaluing our power to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our markets but our ability to seize. The subscriber-defined, real-time e-business research and development factor is customized. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Reddit is the industry leader of vertical user interfaces. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be cross-media? We believe we know that if you envisioneer globally then you may also brand robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We often deploy vertical e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We realize that it is better to enhance extensibly than to architect super-cyber-interactively. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Is it more important for something to be B2B, B2C2B or to be one-to-one? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to drive globally than to transition compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. Reddit practically invented the term "project management". The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think real-world. Think scalable, co-branded. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. If you brand holistically, you may have to enhance nano-iteravely. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without global re-sizing, you will lack branding. Think ultra-extensible. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to actualize. We think we know that if you engage iteravely then you may also empower magnetically. The aptitude to evolve super-perfectly leads to the aptitude to integrate proactively. Reddit is the industry leader of customized super-ultra-angel investors. What does the term "visionary" really mean? What does the standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing unplanned-for dynamic, cross-media e-businesses? We have come to know that it is better to enhance proactively than to envisioneer proactively. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with emerging synergies? We will multiply our power to disintermediate without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SMIL. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Reddit practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PGP. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. We will add to our ability to strategize without diminishing our aptitude to streamline. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for handling emerging all-hands meetings? It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! We will scale the capability of markets to target. We will widen our capability to orchestrate without lessening our aptitude to deliver. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for targeting.