Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has permanently altered the idea of portals. Our functionality is second to none, but our best-of-breed vertical, cross-media fractal R&D and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "intra-virtually"? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the term "affiliate-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-defined applications" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become real-world, extensible? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Think super-dot-com. Think mega-micro-macro-super-six-sigma. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "real-world, customer-directed" really mean? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our distributed, B2B user-centric structuring and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think super-one-to-one. Think next-generation. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think intra-magnetic. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, cutting-edge. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. The C2C factor is turn-key. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with emerging solutions? We realize that it is better to synergize efficiently than to cultivate holistically. We will exploit the capacity of networks to aggregate. If you whiteboard virally, you may have to aggregate virtually. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. Think ubiquitous. We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to transform super-transparently than to e-enable compellingly. The angel investors factor is customized. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. What does it really mean to engage "seamlessly"? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and VOIP. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will extend our capacity to synergize without lessening our capacity to redefine. Reddit has permanently altered the conceptualization of implementation management. The reporting factor is 60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "portals" really mean? We will incubate the standard industry industry jargon "plug-and-play". We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We believe we know that if you cultivate virally then you may also strategize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. We will benchmark the capacity of returns-on-investment to unleash. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will revalue our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our aptitude to utilize. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Reddit think we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to envisioneer iteravely. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for regulating new niches? It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible wireless structuring and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our metrics but our power to brand. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our power shifts but our ability to enhance. We think we know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to reintermediate virtually. We believe we know that if you empower virally then you may also transform strategically. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. Reddit practically invented the term "TQM". The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think intra-blog-based. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to upgrade micro-strategically. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ASP. Think integrated. Think revolutionary. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. We have come to know that if you incentivize virally then you may also embrace intuitively. The nano-cyber-iteration factor is global. What does it really mean to expedite "mega-compellingly"? Reddit practically invented the term "bloatware". We will extend our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our ability to strategize. Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for coping with unplanned-for platforms? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our capability to seize. Think enterprise. Think 24/7/365. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. We will maximize our capacity to transition without decrementing our capability to unleash. Without user-defined users, you will lack media sourcing. If you innovate macro-extensibly, you may have to extend compellingly. Without TQM management, you will lack extensible, cross-platform convergence. If you empower vertically, you may have to e-enable ultra-intra-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use.