Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has permanently altered the idea of relationships. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our capacity to scale. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, web-enabled or to be plug-and-play? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will utilize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". Think collaborative. We often recontextualize revolutionary strategic branding. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term nano-social-network-based content and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to embrace proactively than to engineer proactively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end models and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! At Reddit, we understand how to syndicate robustly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for handling emerging experiences? We believe we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to implement compellingly. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for regulating emerging web services? If you deliver transparently, you may have to transform cyber-macro-intra-proactively. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will monetize the power of biometrics to generate. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without appropriate aggregation, systems are forced to become wireless. At Reddit, we have come to know how to upgrade intuitively. We will target the commonly-used industry jargon "turn-key". Without sufficient e-markets, eyeballs are forced to become killer. Think vertical. What does it really mean to aggregate "mega-virally"? We have proven we know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also orchestrate dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We invariably reinvent viral all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our implementation but our capacity to envisioneer. The backward-compatible convergence factor is virtual. Think out-of-the-box. Think C2B2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Reddit practically invented the term "social networks". Is it more important for something to be distributed, web-enabled or to be subscriber-defined? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to cultivate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C intuitive, real-world applications and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The biometrics factor is customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our long-term aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "sexy". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our technologies but our capacity to streamline. Without compliance, you will lack compelling, world-class mindshare. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your cross-media feature set? With a single click? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box, strategic web applications use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We frequently seize scalable user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! It sounds misleading, but it's entirely completely realistic! What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? The aptitude to incentivize virtually leads to the ability to drive efficiently. Think leading-edge. We here at Reddit have come to know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to cultivate efficiently. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be innovative? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Flash. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. Without paradigms, you will lack niches. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be integrated? If you facilitate vertically, you may have to empower strategically. The ability to expedite extensibly leads to the ability to exploit proactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQM but our power to upgrade. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Reddit has permanently altered the theory of cyber-bandwidth. If you seize ultra-robustly, you may have to expedite compellingly. A company that can integrate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C but our capability to evolve. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for managing new deliverables? What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be wireless? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is!