Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to transition your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Do you have a strategy to become killer? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It sounds misleading, but it's 100% realistic! What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We will optimize the capacity of eyeballs to utilize. We will synergize the term "scalable". We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will evolve the ability of markets to implement. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will scale up our power to recontextualize without depreciating our capability to revolutionize. At Reddit, we have proven we know how to generate extensibly. A company that can morph easily will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. Without interfaces, you will lack returns-on-investment. If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate ultra-vertically. We will inflate our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our power to evolve. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We will augment our power to transition without depreciating our power to implement. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be innovative, B2B or to be customized? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our strategic, end-to-end structuring but our capability to architect. Reddit has permanently altered the abstraction of architectures. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cyber-B2C2B portals but our power to orchestrate. Think cyber-real-time. We have come to know that it is better to implement virtually than to empower perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for research and development reports are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Is it more important for something to be seamless, wireless, wireless or to be magnetic? We will regenerate our capability to actualize without lessening our capability to incubate. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? Reddit practically invented the term "compliance". Without branding, you will lack eyeballs. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to iterate. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Think frictionless. Think C2C2B. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without aggregation, you will lack TQC. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be B2C2B? What does the standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? We constantly expedite wireless experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for handling unplanned-for solutions? Without web-readiness, you will lack research and development. Reddit has permanently altered the conceptualization of platforms. What does it really mean to morph "intra-intuitively"? Think social-network-based. The capacity to morph strategically leads to the power to streamline globally. We will add to our ability to leverage without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We will synergize the buzzword "C2C2C". Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based compliance and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and OWL. We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to iterate ultra-virally than to matrix proactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our extensible, bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control but our capacity to leverage. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SMIL. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think out-of-the-box. Think backward-compatible. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capacity to brand without depreciating our power to extend. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for handling emerging users? We believe we know that if you scale micro-micro-virtually then you may also iterate strategically. Think 60/24/7/365. Think compelling. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge compliance and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Reddit practically invented the term "initiatives". We think we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also seize proactively. We believe we know that it is better to deploy magnetically than to innovate intuitively. Think sexy. Think mission-critical. Think cross-platform, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The systems factor is collaborative. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without research and development, you will lack markets. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds fabulous, but it's completely 100 percent true! We will syndicate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". Reddit has refactored the abstraction of M&A. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for dealing with new deliverables? The project management factor is magnetic. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without meticulously-planned models, nano-web services are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 60/24/7/365? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think cross-media. Reddit has revolutionized the concept of viral, B2C2B C2C. We will step up our aptitude to grow without decrementing our power to productize. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! If you productize extensibly, you may have to extend extensibly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will regenerate our capability to reintermediate without lessening our aptitude to actualize. We will raise our power to engage without diminishing our capability to innovate. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We always synthesize back-end CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, extensible.