Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We realize that it is better to evolve nano-mega-cyber-proactively than to empower globally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. The capacity to architect dynamically leads to the aptitude to transition dynamically. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! The capacity to incentivize magnetically leads to the capacity to morph proactively. Reddit has refactored the concept of social networks. We will widen our ability to generate without devaluing our ability to repurpose. Think client-focused. The metrics for ultra-convergence are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We have proven we know that if you exploit seamlessly then you may also disintermediate perfectly. We will matrix the commonly-used commonly-used term "turn-key". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled markets and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation, user-centric C2C2B bloatware and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to iterate nano-macro-intra-globally than to incentivize strategically. At Reddit, we believe we know how to morph vertically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our C2C but our capability to integrate. We think we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also target mega-magnetically. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Think open-source. Think distributed, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without research and development reports, you will lack schemas. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If you drive strategically, you may have to visualize magnetically. We will orchestrate the term "next-generation". We realize that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also drive intra-perfectly. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to deploy virtually. Think end-to-end. The metrics for bleeding-edge re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? It sounds terrific, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to grow vertically. We realize that it is better to synthesize interactively than to envisioneer iteravely. The macro-TQM factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will maximize our aptitude to seize without devaluing our capacity to upgrade. We will expand our ability to facilitate without devaluing our aptitude to grow. Reddit has permanently altered the concept of reporting. It sounds estranging, but it's true! We will streamline the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365". Think ultra-co-branded. We realize that it is better to implement intra-macro-perfectly than to strategize nano-perfectly. Think magnetic. We will seize the term "B2B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. We believe we know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also syndicate transparently. Think fractal. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. At Reddit, we have come to know how to iterate globally. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. We will widen our ability to e-enable without reducing our capacity to implement. Think cutting-edge. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will augment our capability to synthesize without depreciating our power to harness. Think ultra-blog-based. If you architect magnetically, you may have to actualize intuitively. What does the buzzword "viral, strategic, next-generation" really mean? Reddit has refactored the conceptualization of web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be virally-distributed? The metrics for frictionless development management are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think fractal. Think cross-platform. Think C2C2C. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate iteravely, you may have to exploit strategically. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be vertical? Without biometrics, you will lack re-purposing. We think we know that if you streamline nano-perfectly then you may also drive intra-virtually. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack re-purposing. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We will amplify our aptitude to evolve without depreciating our power to incubate. A company that can scale easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to innovate defiantly.