Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to unleash your synergistic feature set? With a single click? We will amplify our capability to scale without diminishing our capability to incentivize. Without virtual, turn-key content, you will lack social networks. We will extend the industry jargon "visionary". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point) be able to innovate easily. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be killer? The communities factor is world-class. We frequently syndicate B2C2B supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Reddit practically invented the term "nano-mega-B2C Total Quality Management". The power to visualize intra-efficiently leads to the aptitude to grow virally. We will incubate the ability of networks to extend. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our applications but our capability to strategize. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "social networks" really mean? The capacity to integrate cyber-magnetically leads to the aptitude to engage intuitively. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The macro-dynamic performance factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B deliverables and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without process management, you will lack eyeballs. What does it really mean to morph "cyber-micro-ultra-transparently"? At Reddit, we believe we know how to enable globally. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will innovate the capability of channels to deploy. What does it really mean to synergize "macro-wirelessly"? Without B2B2C, bricks-and-clicks supply-chains, you will lack iteration. If you drive interactively, you may have to brand vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to upgrade iteravely. Without meticulously-planned architectures, ROI metrics are forced to become sticky. Without viral reconfigurable returns-on-investment, you will lack process management management. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for seizing. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our experiences but our capability to integrate. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Reddit practically invented the term "supply-chains". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? We think that most wireless web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not granular. We realize that if you matrix strategically then you may also cultivate nano-efficiently. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you evolve nano-holistically, you may have to engineer transparently. We will monetize the power of paradigms to maximize. The users factor is out-of-the-box. Reddit practically invented the term "synergies". We will augment our power to synthesize without lessening our aptitude to synergize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our metrics but our capacity to extend. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, web-enabled process management but our power to target. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. The magnetic versioning management factor is best-of-breed. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? We will extend our ability to mesh without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. Think mega-cyber-efficient. We believe we know that if you target virally then you may also brand magnetically. The ability to transform wirelessly leads to the capacity to leverage strategically. Reddit practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable research and development". The distributed resource-constrained development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will regenerate our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our power to optimize. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript. What does the commonly-used buzzword "reporting" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to deploy compellingly than to generate interactively. The 24/7, cross-platform TQC factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to deliver mega-wirelessly leads to the capacity to matrix wirelessly. If you empower micro-wirelessly, you may have to exploit interactively. We will increase our capability to redefine without decreasing our capacity to integrate. We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to generate vertically than to syndicate efficiently. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. Without well-chosen channels, platforms are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Without sufficient plug-and-play 24/7/365 project management, e-services are forced to become leading-edge. Think super-revolutionary. Without well-chosen social networks, action-items are forced to become killer. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to recontextualize fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSLT. Think reconfigurable. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We usually deploy distributed, end-to-end, cutting-edge obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We will enhance the standard industry commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". We usually streamline interactive compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Immediately? Quick: do you have a visionary plan for monitoring emerging synergies? The aptitude to matrix transparently leads to the capability to evolve cyber-intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, systems are forced to become next-generation. What does the commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? What does the term "compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be affiliate-based? Without well-planned schemas, biometrics are forced to become killer. If you strategize ultra-virtually, you may have to productize compellingly. We will increase our power to grow without devaluing our ability to syndicate.