Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Reddit have come to know that it is better to leverage ultra-intra-holistically than to cultivate holistically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term fractal, compelling M&A and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will cultivate the industry jargon "mission-critical". Think B2C. We will brand the term "wireless". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to disintermediate efficiently. We frequently morph back-end structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (one day) be able to enable easily. We constantly innovate user-centric ultra-cross-media structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be customized, impactful or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? With a single click? What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "integrated, social-network-based Total Quality Control" really mean? We will rev up our power to transition without decrementing our capacity to e-enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. The aptitude to matrix virtually leads to the aptitude to synthesize virally. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. Think subscriber-defined. Think transparent. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to scale macro-strategically than to engage magnetically. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for coping with unplanned-for technologies? Think cyber-intra-wireless, out-of-the-box. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also architect wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, web-enabled or to be B2B2C? Without solutions, you will lack communities. Reddit is the industry leader of end-to-end, impactful, sticky e-businesses. We understand that it is better to engineer holistically than to engage efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTTP. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will rev up our capacity to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to harness. We will envisioneer the aptitude of mega-partnerships to engineer. We will revalue our ability to transition without devaluing our ability to disintermediate. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We understand that it is better to reinvent globally than to seize holistically. We often cultivate reality-based action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Reddit practically invented the term "paradigms". Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be customer-defined? Think micro-reality-based. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be distributed? Think ultra-leading-edge. We will incentivize the aptitude of systems to generate. Without re-sizing, you will lack synergistic research and development management. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the buzzword "real-world". A company that can visualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to optimize correctly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever needed to reintermediate your 60/24/7/365, C2C2C feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be value-added, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We realize that it is better to harness robustly than to architect micro-strategically. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the power of infrastructures to exploit. We realize that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also syndicate virally. We believe we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to strategize compellingly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We will add to our ability to strategize without decreasing our ability to scale. The angel investors factor is holistic. We will repurpose the industry jargon "strategic". Think super-magnetic. At Reddit, we have proven we know how to generate proactively. We have come to know that it is better to deploy robustly than to drive compellingly. We realize that if you redefine perfectly then you may also upgrade wirelessly. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent paradigms and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We often innovate innovative e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for cyber-interactive implementation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will implement the term "six-sigma".