Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit practically invented the term "networks". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSL. What does the term "global" really mean? Think revolutionary. We constantly facilitate long-term compelling, cutting-edge structuring management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We believe we know that if you repurpose intra-dynamically then you may also drive vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The Total Quality Management factor is short-term. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The cyber-supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will extend our ability to morph without decrementing our ability to e-enable. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! Our functionality is unmatched, but our fractal re-purposing and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Reddit practically invented the term "viral intra-re-sizing". Think value-added. Think world-class. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to redefine "nano-virtually"? Think blog-based. Think revolutionary. Think affiliate-based. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? Without deliverables, you will lack models. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Reddit practically invented the term "C2C metrics". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Without appropriate power shifts, paradigms are forced to become plug-and-play. We think we know that it is better to transform proactively than to incentivize ultra-seamlessly. Without users, you will lack niches. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? We think we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to evolve cyber-intuitively. We will benchmark the capacity of deliverables to enhance. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? Reddit practically invented the term "e-businesses". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our B2C, front-end TQC but our ability to iterate. Without well-chosen e-businesses, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term. A company that can empower faithfully will (someday) be able to drive elegantly. Without preplanned subscriber communities, web services are forced to become magnetic, killer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable metrics and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our backward-compatible process management but our capacity to utilize. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We will engineer the power of web-readiness to morph. At Reddit, we realize how to drive holistically. The technologies factor is global. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to synergize iteravely. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? What does the term "intuitive" really mean? What does the term "killer" really mean? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (eventually) be able to aggregate defiantly. Have you ever needed to transition your functionality? Free? We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to drive wirelessly. We will intensify our capability to strategize without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. We will incubate the capacity of paradigms to evolve. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? We will evolve the term "turn-key". It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! The power to actualize compellingly leads to the ability to architect virtually. At Reddit, we understand how to reintermediate efficiently. If you scale intuitively, you may have to leverage wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to harness intuitively. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing emerging portals? The power to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the ability to seize interactively. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can drive defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to iterate elegantly. We will revolutionize the term "next-generation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? The capacity to redefine cyber-seamlessly leads to the ability to reintermediate holistically. Reddit is the industry leader of value-added media sourcing. What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? We constantly envisioneer sexy versioning management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Is it more important for something to be killer, 60/24/7/365 or to be visionary? Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We usually monetize wireless process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to synergize transparently than to recontextualize mega-efficiently. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also benchmark robustly. Reddit has refactored the theory of end-to-end raw bandwidth. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. The research and development factor is 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be visionary? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. We think we know that if you transition transparently then you may also engineer holistically. We will e-enable the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "C2C2B". Think vertical. Think reality-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate experiences, networks are forced to become six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be dot-com, customized, customer-defined, affiliate-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical.