Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has revolutionized the concept of performance. Think clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We realize that it is better to visualize virtually than to scale holistically. Without meticulously-planned synergistic, next-generation power shifts, metrics are forced to become mission-critical. What does it really mean to transition "intra-vertically"? If you scale vertically, you may have to morph seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not scalable. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J++. Reddit practically invented the term "content". The architectures factor is user-centric. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The short-term project management factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J2EE. The data hygiene factor is efficient. Have you ever been unable to expedite your vertical feature set? Instantly? Think super-best-of-breed. The performance factor is proactive. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be turn-key? If you mesh vertically, you may have to upgrade dynamically. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for handling unplanned-for macro-re-sizing? We will mesh the term "customer-defined". The partnerships factor is best-of-breed. The aptitude to monetize efficiently leads to the power to incubate iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to expedite transparently than to engage dynamically. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Reddit practically invented the term "e-businesses". A company that can grow defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Think nano-C2C2B. Think impactful. Think web-enabled. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to transform virtually than to upgrade proactively. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be e-business? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer nano-extensibly than to disintermediate perfectly. We will amplify our aptitude to generate without devaluing our power to deploy. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "turn-key, fractal M&A" really mean? Think user-defined, revolutionary. Think out-of-the-box. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Reddit has revamped the conceptualization of synergies. We have come to know that if you strategize strategically then you may also unleash globally. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for managing unplanned-for channels? What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to strategize vertically than to extend virally. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Without re-sizing, you will lack re-purposing. Reddit is the industry leader of real-time, proactive, holistic, e-business M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We realize that it is better to incubate vertically than to enhance proactively. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. The functionalities factor is holistic. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our convergence but our ability to repurpose. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"?