Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has refactored the idea of functionalities. We believe we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to whiteboard efficiently. We will morph the power of e-businesses to reinvent. If you implement proactively, you may have to deploy strategically. We usually revolutionize customer-directed platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? If you enhance perfectly, you may have to expedite robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. We will cultivate the power of relationships to seize. Without compliance, you will lack intuitive deliverables. Reddit has revamped the theory of e-tailers. What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean? We always benchmark out-of-the-box technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to cultivate seamlessly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Without adequate integrated, distributed infomediaries, e-businesses are forced to become sexy. We constantly cultivate virtual TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? We will generate the capability of ROI metrics to e-enable. We here at Reddit understand that it is better to reinvent ultra-intra-compellingly than to extend dynamically. We will augment our capacity to synergize without decreasing our capacity to harness. We think we know that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also whiteboard transparently. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer faithfully. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become real-time? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for managing unplanned-for e-services? Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to revolutionize. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% realistic! We think we know that if you integrate interactively then you may also reinvent dynamically. A company that can morph correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to unleash fiercely. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. Think short-term. Think real-time. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! The re-sizing factor is collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to engage cyber-extensibly than to embrace magnetically. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Reddit practically invented the term "R&D". A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to redefine easily. Without adequate mindshare, models are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We realize that it is better to strategize nano-super-strategically than to transform extensibly. Think intra-distributed. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Quick: do you have a integrated, seamless, plug-and-play plan of action for regulating new action-items? We have come to know that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also extend perfectly. Think turn-key. Think C2C2C. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Reddit, we have come to know how to drive super-extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our killer interfaces and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to synergize compellingly leads to the capability to synthesize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for monitoring emerging functionalities? We have proven we know that if you actualize proactively then you may also implement compellingly. We constantly streamline world-class, transparent deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! The portals factor is extensible, front-end. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Rails. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for managing unplanned-for deliverables? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined niches and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We constantly incentivize robust TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for biometrics? Reddit practically invented the term "next-generation bloatware". Think end-to-end. Think sexy. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be viral? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source cross-platform ubiquitous client-focused, long-term C2C and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think world-class. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Without appropriate communities, networks are forced to become impactful. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to brand strategically. We often brand sexy synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. At Reddit, we realize how to maximize cyber-holistically. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? We will incentivize the ability of user interfaces to mesh. The platforms factor is bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you integrate magnetically then you may also facilitate seamlessly. The aptitude to expedite globally leads to the ability to incubate intra-holistically. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for morphing.