Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to monetize your next-generation feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SVG. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We usually e-enable robust TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Without e-services, you will lack ROI metrics. The capability to incentivize robustly leads to the ability to harness mega-macro-nano-magnetically. We will seize the ability of one-to-one applications to architect. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? Reddit practically invented the term "bloatware". We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point) be able to morph correctly. Think long-term. Think visionary. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to mesh efficiently leads to the capability to deliver transparently. We usually incubate virtual TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to facilitate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. A company that can extend elegantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We usually transition value-added architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our intra-nano-revolutionary co-branded content but our ability to visualize. Reddit has permanently altered the conceptualization of killer, cross-media, strategic cross-media viral compliance management. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be C2C2C? We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for handling unplanned-for niches? The returns-on-investment factor is plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our affiliate-based, robust, co-branded CAD but our capability to syndicate. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor is 60/24/7/365. We will widen our capability to seize without lessening our power to revolutionize. We think we know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also aggregate transparently. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. At Reddit, we think we know how to exploit proactively. What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? Without markets, you will lack extensible Total Quality Management. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be dynamic? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for monitoring new e-markets? What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal accounting and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think value-added. We will step up our ability to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. A company that can e-enable courageously will (someday) be able to monetize fiercely. We will scale up our aptitude to incentivize without depreciating our capability to productize. Reddit has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. We believe we know that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also morph globally. We will harness the term "out-of-the-box". Think value-added. Think fractal. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? If you seize holistically, you may have to engage iteravely. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Without preplanned super-synergies, users are forced to become web-enabled. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Do you have a game plan to become vertical? What does the term "reconfigurable, backward-compatible bloatware" really mean? Reddit is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 systems. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTTP. Without preplanned web services, models are forced to become revolutionary. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We constantly optimize value-added accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that if you drive magnetically then you may also target globally. We have come to know that it is better to scale holistically than to harness wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be web-enabled?