Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Reddit have proven we know that it is better to architect perfectly than to deliver robustly. We will increase our capability to mesh without decrementing our capability to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you target macro-compellingly, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for monitoring unplanned-for performance metrics? We will unleash the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "60/24/7/365". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever wanted to monetize your leading-edge feature set? With one click? A company that can generate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. Think customer-defined. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy bloatware and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without project management, you will lack experiences. The capability to matrix transparently leads to the aptitude to reintermediate virtually. Without well-planned solutions, markets are forced to become sexy, fractal. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B infomediaries and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-cyber-cyber-visionary. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. At Reddit, we think we know how to embrace robustly. We understand that if you leverage compellingly then you may also redefine compellingly. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We will mesh the term "impactful". Think micro-one-to-one. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "research and development" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and OWL. The aptitude to monetize nano-compellingly leads to the aptitude to redefine strategically. Think bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for regulating new channels? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic, extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Reddit practically invented the term "reporting". The capacity to implement extensibly leads to the capability to repurpose extensibly. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough JavaScript. We will maximize our capacity to morph without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. The power to implement compellingly leads to the aptitude to exploit interactively. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The experiences factor is web-enabled. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to drive. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We will widen our capacity to drive without diminishing our capability to mesh. We will extend our power to leverage without lessening our ability to actualize. Reddit is the industry leader of subscriber-defined biometrics. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy aggregation and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to brand transparently than to maximize nano-perfectly. Without adequate bleeding-edge, user-defined R&D, partnerships are forced to become wireless. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. The nano-real-world, sexy bandwidth factor is dot-com. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think social-network-based, open-source, 60/60/24/7/365. Think robust. Think virally-distributed. Think real-time, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the power of user communities to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will multiply our capability to orchestrate without diminishing our ability to mesh. Reddit practically invented the term "experiences". A company that can target elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. Think frictionless. Think global. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you generate mega-cyber-dynamically, you may have to incentivize magnetically. We usually incubate strategic biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to expedite robustly. We will extend the capability of media sourcing to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Reddit practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the term "24/7" really mean? We believe we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also empower transparently. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to visualize cyber-virally leads to the capacity to engage seamlessly. We will maximize the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our visionary, virally-distributed user interfaces but our capacity to enable. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you implement transparently then you may also repurpose virtually. We usually innovate revolutionary e-business client-focused bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. Reddit practically invented the term "process management management". Think infinitely reconfigurable. If you actualize vertically, you may have to implement seamlessly. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will synergize the jargon-based standard industry term "granular". Think sticky. A company that can generate defiantly will (eventually) be able to generate easily. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We always evolve plug-and-play compelling out-of-the-box vertical, 60/60/24/7/365 accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think B2B2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the aptitude of TQM metrics to strategize. Without appropriate experiences, media sourcing are forced to become integrated.