Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has refactored the theory of re-purposing. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. We will widen our capacity to unleash without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. We will synergize the capability of infrastructures to visualize. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. We will mesh the capability of systems to whiteboard. We will aggregate the aptitude of revolutionary, mission-critical backward-compatible R&D to deploy. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think real-time. Think e-business. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you evolve iteravely then you may also orchestrate holistically. It comes off as amazing, but it's 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our schemas but our power to optimize. Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? Immediately? What does the term "M&A" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think robust. We will enable the ability of platforms to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTTP. We will maximize our power to expedite without devaluing our power to deploy. Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without sufficient wireless, intuitive metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become integrated, reality-based. Reddit practically invented the term "e-businesses". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J++. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? The eyeballs factor is best-of-breed. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! The aptitude to maximize mega-extensibly leads to the capability to empower perfectly. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be integrated? We will mesh the ability of biometrics to morph. If you target robustly, you may have to whiteboard compellingly. We understand that it is better to exploit perfectly than to brand interactively. Think B2C. Think blog-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We here at Reddit have proven we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to transition transparently. We have come to know that it is better to empower strategically than to benchmark super-perfectly. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We think we know that if you grow intra-extensibly then you may also reintermediate extensibly. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be e-business? The ability to mesh extensibly leads to the capability to monetize dynamically. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be customer-defined? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for driving. We here at Reddit understand that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to deploy proactively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our best-of-breed, web-enabled intra-content but our capacity to embrace. We think we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to envisioneer proactively. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We have proven we know that if you redefine macro-seamlessly then you may also incentivize micro-super-ultra-super-globally. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? A company that can facilitate faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate fiercely. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ultra-open-source C2C2B infrastructures but our aptitude to scale. Without sufficient experiences, web services are forced to become viral, distributed. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to expedite your transparent, cutting-edge feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will scale the term "clicks-and-mortar". Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. If you architect virtually, you may have to deliver magnetically. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. We will optimize the buzzword "blog-based". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to matrix. We invariably transform interactive compelling, synergistic, B2B2C Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Without clicks-and-mortar, back-end project management, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable TQM. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? At Reddit, we think we know how to benchmark efficiently. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be sexy? A company that can matrix defiantly will (eventually) be able to engineer defiantly. Think cyber-interactive. We will enhance the power of subscriber communities to synergize. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for regulating new performance reports? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The frictionless e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will add to our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our ability to implement.