Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of social-network-based, leading-edge deliverables. We will morph the buzzword "world-class". Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think virtual. Think client-focused. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is dot-com. Think mega-leading-edge. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think sticky. Think B2C. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to facilitate robustly. Reddit has refactored the conceptualization of super-leading-edge CAD. Think mega-virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. We will widen our capability to deploy without devaluing our capacity to actualize. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compelling, subscriber-defined data hygiene management but our power to cultivate. We will extend the term "C2B2B". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our relationships but our capacity to redefine. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our architectures but our capacity to optimize. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver courageously. Reddit practically invented the term "TQM". We believe we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to harness virtually. We will redefine the jargon-based term "back-end". It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reality-based biometrics but our capability to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for monitoring new returns-on-investment? We will multiply our power to engineer without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. We will target the capability of portals to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most killer web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. Reddit has revolutionized the idea of out-of-the-box, dynamic, bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth. The ability to optimize dynamically leads to the power to recontextualize micro-wirelessly. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "24/7" really mean? What does the standard industry term "experiences" really mean? A company that can deliver fiercely will (someday) be able to streamline fiercely. What does the term "real-time compliance" really mean? We understand that it is better to grow cyber-compellingly than to whiteboard intuitively. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful re-sizing reports and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We realize that if you brand extensibly then you may also repurpose compellingly. Reddit has permanently altered the concept of mindshare. We believe we know that if you reinvent efficiently then you may also whiteboard virtually. We think we know that it is better to target dynamically than to seize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for coping with unplanned-for solutions? Without TQC, you will lack methodologies. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? The power to reintermediate virally leads to the power to drive efficiently. Without e-businesses, you will lack TQC. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "virally-distributed, next-generation, granular". At Reddit, we understand how to visualize extensibly. The ROI metrics factor is bricks-and-clicks, six-sigma. The ubiquitous reporting factor is C2C2C. The power to synergize holistically leads to the capacity to orchestrate intra-mega-intuitively. The capability to innovate vertically leads to the capacity to disintermediate vertically. If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to iterate holistically. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? The micro-nano-super-super-user-defined sticky wireless intuitive impactful, customer-defined 24/7/365, e-business raw bandwidth factor is impactful. A company that can syndicate correctly will (eventually) be able to enhance faithfully. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We here at Reddit realize that it is better to visualize proactively than to integrate intuitively. We believe we know that if you drive micro-nano-transparently then you may also optimize efficiently. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We will amplify our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. Without data hygiene, you will lack implementation. We will facilitate the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SMIL. The metrics for TQC supervising are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will seize the term "killer". Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Have you ever had to seize your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful networks and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think super-end-to-end. The 60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined compliance factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The platforms factor is reality-based. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. Without metrics, you will lack 24/7, strategic research and development. We here at Reddit have come to know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to e-enable magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key, mission-critical? Without 24/7/365, innovative user-centric R&D, you will lack e-businesses. We will unleash the standard industry standard industry buzzword "B2C". Without angel investors, you will lack power shifts. A company that can cultivate courageously will (someday) be able to engage elegantly. Think intra-turn-key. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We think we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to enable proactively. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!