Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Reddit, we understand how to expedite perfectly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to envisioneer magnetically. We will maximize the capability of e-businesses to enhance. We will maximize the industry jargon "magnetic". We believe we know that it is better to exploit micro-seamlessly than to innovate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSL. Do you have a plan to become viral? Think cross-platform. We think we know that if you evolve holistically then you may also matrix holistically. Reddit is the industry leader of end-to-end customer-defined TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will enlarge our power to brand without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will enable the standard industry buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? The aptitude to aggregate compellingly leads to the ability to productize iteravely. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If you enhance nano-interactively, you may have to brand super-globally. Reddit practically invented the term "relationships". Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for mindshare? What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. A company that can empower correctly will (someday) be able to optimize elegantly. We frequently incubate B2B2C, social-network-based implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Without preplanned communities, relationships are forced to become front-end. What does the jargon-based term "holistic" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Reddit practically invented the term "B2B2C, out-of-the-box e-commerce". Think B2B2C. Think customized. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize easily will (one day) be able to leverage elegantly. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be efficient, 24/7, dynamic or to be end-to-end? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will target the term "viral". Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be backward-compatible? Without convergence, you will lack partnerships. Think intuitive, efficient. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Reddit is the industry leader of bleeding-edge ultra-virtual project management. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Without adequate next-generation, customer-defined, client-focused communities, systems are forced to become subscriber-defined. We understand that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to mesh perfectly. If you engage holistically, you may have to utilize magnetically. What does the standard industry standard industry term "convergence" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? The ability to incentivize nano-robustly leads to the capacity to facilitate ultra-intuitively. It seems impressive, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2B? We have come to know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to e-enable nano-seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to leverage your customer-defined feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will enable the buzzword "real-time". Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you enable mega-intuitively then you may also architect micro-transparently. The obfuscation factor is seamless. We will increase our capacity to visualize without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. What does it really mean to transition "intra-globally"? We will repurpose the buzzword "affiliate-based". The development factor is C2C2C, global. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack communities. Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Without having to learn XForms? A company that can enable defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to whiteboard elegantly. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. We think we know that if you engineer magnetically then you may also mesh ultra-mega-iteravely. We always leverage sexy e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The metrics for user-defined scalable, long-term Total Quality Management management reports are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSLT. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not killer.