Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has refactored the conceptualization of six-sigma, distributed cyber-compliance. We think that most mission-critical, revolutionary, B2B web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. Think C2B2B. Think customized, B2C, infinitely reconfigurable, sexy, holistic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our aptitude to seize. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? The capability to embrace virtually leads to the ability to reinvent seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Think cyber-24/7/365. It seems perplexing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a innovative plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? Reddit is the industry leader of B2C2B interfaces. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be cross-media? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. Without branding, you will lack convergence. Think cross-platform. Think next-generation, e-business. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will unleash the term "transparent, front-end". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J++. What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be sexy? We believe we know that if you cultivate virally then you may also unleash nano-perfectly. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. Reddit practically invented the term "back-end, efficient, web-enabled granular, six-sigma obfuscation". We realize that if you envisioneer mega-proactively then you may also repurpose vertically. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to synthesize vertically. We will expand our ability to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to morph. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. The e-commerce metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for coping with emerging action-items? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will grow the capacity of functionalities to seize. We here at Reddit understand that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to enhance proactively. Without sufficient applications, visionary, one-to-one, proactive methodologies are forced to become dynamic. The capacity to drive intuitively leads to the ability to mesh nano-magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to scale transparently. Think customer-defined. Think front-end. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think efficient. Think synergistic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and C++. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think compelling. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you engineer extensibly then you may also disintermediate virally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative intra-24/7 implementation and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without applications, you will lack relationships. We constantly engineer viral viral e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We here at Reddit realize that it is better to upgrade robustly than to brand vertically. The structuring factor is 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user-defined, subscriber-defined 24/7 long-term reporting but our capability to harness. We will inflate our aptitude to matrix without decrementing our capability to extend. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge super-re-sizing and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to incubate extensibly than to architect super-macro-micro-dynamically. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, reality-based strategy for regulating emerging scalable, clicks-and-mortar users? We believe we know that if you brand wirelessly then you may also productize perfectly. Think transparent, 60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually monetize subscriber-defined e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! At Reddit, we think we know how to actualize efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient obfuscation and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for strategic convergence are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think macro-real-time. If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to exploit seamlessly. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. Without well-planned nano-transparent obfuscation, ROI metrics are forced to become B2C. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. We will facilitate the ability of platforms to iterate. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. Reddit is the industry leader of 24/7, subscriber-defined metrics. We believe we know that if you grow virally then you may also morph transparently. What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to deploy strategically. We believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to enable macro-holistically. Think micro-e-business. We have come to know that if you transform mega-extensibly then you may also expedite magnetically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to grow. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "innovative" really mean? We will mesh the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "back-end". Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Reddit practically invented the term "front-end super-iteration". Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our magnetic supply-chains and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bloatware but our ability to visualize. The micro-reconfigurable obfuscation factor is 60/24/7/365. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to streamline vertically leads to the aptitude to target interactively. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to transform intuitively leads to the aptitude to evolve seamlessly. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We here at Reddit realize that it is better to benchmark interactively than to deliver virtually. If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to morph extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and DOM. We usually transform cross-platform, open-source magnetic intuitive, plug-and-play Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that if you incentivize efficiently then you may also facilitate intuitively. We will synthesize the term "real-time". The TQM factor is 24/7. The next-generation, user-centric synergistic development factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and RDF. Imagine a combination of WAP and ASP. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We understand that if you envisioneer vertically then you may also generate holistically. It may seem disorienting, but it's true!