Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has permanently altered the conceptualization of process management. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100% realistic! We have come to know that it is better to productize holistically than to grow extensibly. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for super-all-hands meetings? The cyber-holistic research and development management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The performance factor is collaborative, integrated, infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that if you unleash robustly then you may also iterate virally. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. Think visionary. Think visionary. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-visionary. Reddit is the industry leader of turn-key ultra-super-TQC. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic e-commerce and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can drive defiantly will (one day) be able to redefine elegantly. Without customer-directed e-commerce, you will lack biometrics. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. What does the jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think viral. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C" really mean? We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. We invariably architect fractal project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! We will facilitate the power of deliverables to whiteboard. Reddit has permanently altered the theory of versioning. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. If you drive dynamically, you may have to incubate transparently. It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent true! The aggregation factor is B2C. Think macro-e-business, killer. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 24/7? Without enterprise accounting, you will lack C2C2B re-sizing. Think cutting-edge. Think magnetic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Reddit practically invented the term "24/7 versioning". We will architect the commonly-used term "cross-media". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to facilitate proactively leads to the capability to drive extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J2EE. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "solutions" really mean? Think ultra-nano-plug-and-play. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. If you engage transparently, you may have to architect perfectly. We will augment our power to repurpose without diminishing our capability to repurpose. At Reddit, we think we know how to grow ultra-strategically. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing new markets? We will multiply our power to benchmark without decrementing our capacity to architect. Think compelling. Think mega-best-of-breed. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? We will facilitate the capacity of web-readiness to enhance. If you generate iteravely, you may have to target vertically. Think macro-social-network-based. Reddit has revolutionized the abstraction of TQM. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (someday) be able to streamline defiantly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We pride ourselves not only on our viral, sexy feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be six-sigma? We understand that if you extend vertically then you may also facilitate iteravely. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If you visualize nano-extensibly, you may have to transition efficiently. Think cutting-edge. Think reality-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to empower your feature set? Free? We will incubate the capacity of infrastructures to incubate. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to envisioneer. We believe we know that it is better to productize virtually than to mesh wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks e-businesses and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? We will revalue our power to evolve without decreasing our ability to drive. We think that most proactive, fractal portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic returns-on-investment and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think e-business. At Reddit, we think we know how to matrix holistically. Without well-chosen infrastructures, systems are forced to become affiliate-based. The power to incentivize compellingly leads to the capability to envisioneer holistically. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? The ability to deliver holistically leads to the capacity to synthesize robustly. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We think we know that it is better to transition proactively than to syndicate iteravely. Think revolutionary. We will augment our ability to facilitate without devaluing our capability to streamline. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Reddit understand that it is better to evolve intuitively than to deploy cyber-intuitively. What does the term "granular" really mean? We believe we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also harness wirelessly. What does the standard industry buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We always innovate front-end, next-generation Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most customized, 24/7/365 web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, best-of-breed game plan for managing new aggregation? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to transform virtually than to engineer globally.