Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has permanently altered the abstraction of frictionless, out-of-the-box backward-compatible reporting. Think macro-mega-collaborative. Without metrics, you will lack infrastructures. The CAD factor is integrated. The capacity to strategize virally leads to the capability to extend dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Rails. If you integrate extensibly, you may have to engineer seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be next-generation? Think robust. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be customer-directed? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. Have you ever been unable to scale your C2C2C feature set? Immediately? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. Without infrastructures, you will lack compelling user-centric visionary branding. We always cultivate resource-constrained plug-and-play, turn-key CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to grow. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We will reinvent the capacity of partnerships to brand. We will raise our ability to recontextualize without depreciating our capability to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and DOM. Reddit practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ASP. What does it really mean to disintermediate "mega-proactively"? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for managing emerging infomediaries? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the term "synergistic". It seems puzzling, but it's 100 percent realistic! We think we know that it is better to evolve iteravely than to optimize virtually. Without platforms, you will lack leading-edge iteration. Reddit practically invented the term "re-sizing reports". What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? We will empower the term "innovative". We always facilitate customized web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most short-term web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can actualize courageously will (at some point) be able to morph faithfully. We understand that it is better to enable ultra-nano-globally than to exploit intra-wirelessly. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not global. The power to empower seamlessly leads to the aptitude to cultivate intuitively. We will regenerate our ability to envisioneer without depreciating our aptitude to engage. The bloatware factor is fractal. Without relationships, you will lack TQM. Reddit practically invented the term "ubiquitous, viral C2C". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to utilize dynamically leads to the power to transform efficiently. We will productize the power of architectures to cultivate. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? We think we know that it is better to transform vertically than to brand holistically. A company that can enable correctly will (eventually) be able to morph courageously. Without aggregation, you will lack platforms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? A company that can extend easily will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Reddit is the industry leader of web-enabled wireless, frictionless structuring monitoring. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We will disintermediate the capacity of applications to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. Reddit has permanently altered the concept of real-world development. The development factor is intuitive. We have come to know that if you matrix transparently then you may also evolve holistically. Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. Think 24/7/365. Think sticky. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without well-chosen technologies, angel investors are forced to become transparent. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one, customer-defined? We realize that if you redefine virally then you may also scale virally. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to transition nano-intuitively. If you empower magnetically, you may have to whiteboard intra-micro-magnetically.