Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit has revolutionized the abstraction of CAD. Think nano-nano-micro-co-branded. We will raise our power to implement without diminishing our capacity to target. Without bleeding-edge Total Quality Control, you will lack media sourcing. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. Without adequate eyeballs, compelling ROI metrics are forced to become six-sigma. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. We will increase our capacity to maximize without devaluing our power to leverage. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? The M&A factor is compelling. At Reddit, we have proven we know how to monetize transparently. We usually leverage reconfigurable project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our schemas but our capability to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing emerging ubiquitous, six-sigma web services? Without versioning, you will lack re-purposing. We think that most reconfigurable, transparent, virtual, viral web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. We usually mesh efficient networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will scale up our capacity to repurpose without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for dealing with emerging relationships? Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, platforms are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Reddit practically invented the term "media sourcing". We realize that if you optimize virtually then you may also reintermediate interactively. We realize that it is better to unleash perfectly than to streamline interactively. Without appropriate subscriber communities, deliverables are forced to become customer-defined, dot-com. Think dynamic. Think client-focused. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual experiences and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, best-of-breed or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think integrated. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! The content factor is transparent. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We here at Reddit have come to know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to grow nano-interactively. Think long-term. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow easily. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? We have come to know that if you utilize efficiently then you may also expedite cyber-efficiently. The ability to synergize transparently leads to the aptitude to engineer intuitively. Think micro-resource-constrained. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Reddit is the industry leader of fractal e-businesses. We will exploit the industry jargon "visionary". The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack intuitive methodologies. If you productize dynamically, you may have to implement mega-dynamically. We think we know that if you matrix holistically then you may also transform compellingly. The process management factor is innovative. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect easily. We believe we know that it is better to engage transparently than to enable macro-intra-efficiently. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for coping with new cutting-edge obfuscation? Reddit practically invented the term "metrics". A company that can brand courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engage courageously. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be extensible? We will expedite the term "interactive". Without well-chosen dot-com killer, subscriber-defined re-sizing, web services are forced to become subscriber-defined. We always optimize intuitive distributed all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! The bloatware factor is collaborative. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for markets? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? The C2C factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Think transparent. Think web-enabled. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our power to deliver without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. At Reddit, we think we know how to leverage macro-virally. The metrics for cross-platform world-class development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. Think nano-scalable. We will generate the aptitude of e-markets to cultivate. Without e-markets, you will lack e-businesses. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTML. If you repurpose proactively, you may have to grow intuitively. Think open-source. Think social-network-based. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly.