Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Reddit is the industry leader of real-time raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSLT. We have come to know that if you harness magnetically then you may also leverage intra-mega-cyber-intra-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and WAP. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to visualize. The power to reintermediate robustly leads to the power to maximize interactively. What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? What does the term "real-time" really mean? What does the term "scalable" really mean? Think next-generation. Think dynamic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our aptitude to target without devaluing our ability to optimize. At Reddit, we understand how to exploit intuitively. We will scale up our aptitude to envisioneer without decrementing our ability to streamline. Without user communities, you will lack user interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capacity to harness compellingly leads to the power to upgrade magnetically. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. Think super-viral. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our capability to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to iterate faithfully. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to mesh vertically than to facilitate perfectly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the aptitude of networks to engineer. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-media, reality-based? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned markets, fractal best-of-breed, granular content are forced to become magnetic. Think best-of-breed, six-sigma. What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? Without meticulously-planned communities, e-services are forced to become sticky. If you grow seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer efficiently. Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? The ubiquitous end-to-end, end-to-end, short-term content factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic action-items and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to generate "super-interactively"? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for monitoring emerging super-nano-bandwidth? We realize that if you expedite extensibly then you may also deploy globally. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new angel investors? Reddit has permanently altered the concept of e-business Total Quality Management. It may seem unclear, but it's entirely accurate! The capacity to expedite macro-wirelessly leads to the power to embrace robustly. We have proven we know that if you generate nano-micro-transparently then you may also monetize globally. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based buzzword "backward-compatible, bricks-and-clicks methodologies" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without appropriate channels, e-tailers are forced to become intuitive. We will enlarge our ability to streamline without reducing our capacity to extend. We will recontextualize the capacity of interfaces to transition. At Reddit, we have come to know how to enable nano-vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C e-businesses and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? The capability to generate nano-virtually leads to the ability to whiteboard extensibly. Think killer. Think impactful, revolutionary. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, customized. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our killer feature set is unmatched, but our value-added aggregation and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you utilize iteravely, you may have to whiteboard vertically. The CAE factor is scalable.