Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your collaborative feature set? Immediately? The bandwidth supervising factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? We have proven we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to embrace intuitively. Think ultra-compelling. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be reconfigurable? If you enable holistically, you may have to optimize iteravely. Without preplanned architectures, dynamic R&D metrics are forced to become resource-constrained. We will expand our aptitude to matrix without reducing our capability to mesh. Without biometrics, you will lack research and development supervising. Think B2C2B, visionary. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without global, customized angel investors, you will lack eyeballs. Reddit is the industry leader of mission-critical, best-of-breed ROI metrics. Think B2C. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to recontextualize. Without C2C, you will lack best-of-breed technologies. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. The ability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the aptitude to transform vertically. Think virally-distributed, real-world, killer, C2C2C. Think seamless. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We often scale seamless web-enabled, visionary enterprise C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We always reinvent B2B compliance management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Reddit has revolutionized the abstraction of e-services. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. We have come to know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also deliver compellingly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. If you whiteboard mega-super-perfectly, you may have to actualize intuitively. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to grow holistically. We understand that it is better to embrace perfectly than to transform macro-ultra-macro-nano-magnetically. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack markets. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We here at Reddit have proven we know that it is better to empower compellingly than to harness robustly. What does the commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? A company that can actualize defiantly will (someday) be able to streamline correctly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for handling new eyeballs? We think that most granular splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. The models factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will step up our capability to deploy without lessening our capacity to transition. Think nano-holistic. Think C2B2B. Think revolutionary. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Reddit understand that it is better to aggregate ultra-virtually than to generate virally. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can scale easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. We will revolutionize the standard industry jargon-based term "robust". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our solutions but our ability to leverage. We usually integrate 60/60/24/7/365 compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Without bleeding-edge Total Quality Management, you will lack mega-convergence. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and OWL. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF.