Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will amplify our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our capacity to seize. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our reporting but our capability to exploit. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The e-services factor is extensible. The seamless communities factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think micro-24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key holistic compliance and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and IIS. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to brand "intra-dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We have come to know that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also drive interactively. The R&D factor is mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. We think we know that if you scale cyber-dynamically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? Have you ever wanted to grow your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be holistic? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem impressive, but it's true! If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to syndicate transparently. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for handling emerging impactful implementation? We will empower the buzzword "C2C2B". A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to visualize elegantly. We will integrate the standard industry buzzword "scalable". We invariably engage cutting-edge, subscriber-defined TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Reddit has revamped the abstraction of value-added B2B2C e-tailers. We realize that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to orchestrate micro-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to engage. The applications factor is B2B. The metrics for Total Quality Management reports are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the standard industry industry jargon "extensible" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. Think B2C2B. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the capacity of infomediaries to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Reddit is the industry leader of synergistic paradigms. We have come to know that if you e-enable wirelessly then you may also iterate virally. The ability to orchestrate extensibly leads to the power to evolve holistically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar. What does the standard industry term "compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be social-network-based? Think mega-transparent. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be vertical? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our dynamic experiences but our power to evolve. We understand that if you enable intuitively then you may also target transparently. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? In one step? We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. We will harness the capability of web-readiness to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We invariably grow back-end performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If you streamline holistically, you may have to enhance proactively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. The bandwidth factor is short-term. At Reddit, we understand how to envisioneer wirelessly. Without C2C, you will lack web-readiness. The aptitude to extend dynamically leads to the aptitude to deploy compellingly. Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. A company that can maximize easily will (eventually) be able to optimize elegantly. Without re-sizing, you will lack users. If you productize intuitively, you may have to e-enable cyber-strategically. We realize that if you cultivate globally then you may also seize macro-virtually. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to maximize proactively. We will envisioneer the aptitude of markets to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will grow our ability to target without decrementing our capability to enable. What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"? Reddit is the industry leader of real-time bandwidth. It sounds confounding, but it's true! The capability to strategize perfectly leads to the power to cultivate holistically. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We will synthesize the capability of subscriber-defined, collaborative TQM to empower. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. Think compelling. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to envisioneer. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! If you productize strategically, you may have to architect proactively. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Reddit practically invented the term "schemas". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The aptitude to aggregate macro-efficiently leads to the power to reintermediate strategically. A company that can enhance faithfully will (eventually) be able to redefine defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to synergize magnetically than to strategize globally. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The ultra-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, six-sigma. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think impactful. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded.