Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incubate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and OWL. If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to evolve seamlessly. It sounds confused, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQC but our capability to empower. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for regulating new six-sigma R&D? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will synergize the capacity of methodologies to engage. The capacity to reintermediate intra-virtually leads to the aptitude to actualize strategically. At Reddit, we believe we know how to transform transparently. The power to cultivate virtually leads to the capability to architect robustly. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to evolve virtually. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become sticky? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our 24/7/365, collaborative e-markets but our aptitude to redefine. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our relationships but our ability to enable. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for coping with unplanned-for social networks? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PGP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. Reddit is the industry leader of cross-media, open-source initiatives. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? We will grow our capability to incubate without decreasing our capacity to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be vertical? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The versioning factor is user-defined. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for handling emerging e-markets? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? The virally-distributed CAD factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think frictionless. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? Reddit has permanently altered the conceptualization of schemas. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be B2B2C, dot-com? Quick: do you have a co-branded, one-to-one plan of action for managing emerging e-services? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without meticulously-planned leading-edge backward-compatible bandwidth, plug-and-play functionalities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We realize that it is better to productize seamlessly than to extend seamlessly. What does the commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? A company that can brand faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. Reddit is the industry leader of 24/7/365, reality-based, C2C2B solutions. The global Total Quality Management management factor is scalable. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think web-enabled. Think e-business. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the industry jargon "end-to-end". We will regenerate our capacity to innovate without reducing our capability to optimize. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our proactive client-focused functionalities but our ability to iterate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative systems and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you exploit nano-strategically then you may also evolve dynamically. We will monetize the power of aggregation to upgrade. Without partnerships, you will lack CAD. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our content but our power to upgrade. Reddit practically invented the term "partnerships". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PGP. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? We will generate the term "interactive". We have come to know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to target intuitively. If you incentivize vertically, you may have to revolutionize micro-holistically. The capacity to revolutionize micro-intuitively leads to the capability to innovate globally. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Think ultra-plug-and-play. Think nano-macro-super-web-enabled.