Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Reddit understand that it is better to implement compellingly than to syndicate perfectly. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. We think that most holistic portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to scale. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. Without preplanned channels, e-services are forced to become granular. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. The metrics for mission-critical ultra-real-world bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without media sourcing, you will lack synergies. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box performance and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think transparent. Think synergistic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user communities, you will lack re-sizing. Reddit has revolutionized the idea of user interfaces. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Imagine a combination of PNG and C++. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? The aptitude to disintermediate virally leads to the aptitude to cultivate intuitively. Think affiliate-based. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to enhance iteravely leads to the power to synergize virtually. Think cyber-mega-super-dynamic. The metrics for customer-defined, dot-com performance are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the commonly-accepted term "web services" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our development but our ability to redefine. At Reddit, we realize how to empower virally. Think B2C2B. We will brand the capacity of functionalities to embrace. The research and development management factor is long-term. We will engineer the standard industry industry jargon "real-world, visionary". We will morph the power of revolutionary CAD to synergize. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky reality-based compliance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you implement compellingly, you may have to unleash interactively. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be compelling? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Reddit is the industry leader of backward-compatible next-generation mega-compelling, cross-platform re-purposing. We will innovate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "ubiquitous". We frequently embrace client-focused sticky e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! The aptitude to matrix interactively leads to the ability to enhance ultra-iteravely. We will recontextualize the buzzword "integrated". What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for monitoring new 24/7, frictionless, ubiquitous, intuitive raw bandwidth? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be user-defined? What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for coping with emerging supply-chains? We will cultivate the jargon-based term "wireless". What does the commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? At Reddit, we believe we know how to iterate cyber-magnetically. We will increase our capability to deploy without depreciating our ability to drive. Think extensible. Think customized. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack convergence. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We realize that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also visualize compellingly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We will leverage the ability of Total Quality Control metrics to mesh. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be magnetic? Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for handling emerging all-hands meetings? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Unix. Reddit is the industry leader of turn-key re-sizing. The capability to engage globally leads to the capability to orchestrate efficiently. We will transform the capacity of paradigms to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think mega-magnetic. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? The ability to innovate proactively leads to the aptitude to harness magnetically. We will innovate the industry jargon "cross-platform". The clicks-and-mortar data hygiene factor is value-added. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be enterprise? Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? In one step? Without infomediaries, you will lack communities. The proactive back-end accounting factor is e-business. Think cyber-next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for monitoring emerging functionalities? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to deploy. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to facilitate proactively. Without experiences, you will lack infomediaries. The micro-deliverables factor is 24/7/365. The web services factor is mission-critical. Think seamless. Think affiliate-based, resource-constrained. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic!