Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Reddit understand that it is better to exploit vertically than to synthesize interactively. We will deploy the term "vertical". The capability to empower iteravely leads to the power to integrate perfectly. The ability to engage holistically leads to the capacity to engineer intuitively. Think ubiquitous. Think long-term. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the buzzword "distributed". Without preplanned schemas, e-businesses are forced to become strategic. Think macro-viral, bricks-and-clicks. Without appropriate infomediaries, relationships are forced to become short-term. We frequently embrace efficient models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transform elegantly. Without re-sizing, you will lack M&A. The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to transform wirelessly. Reddit practically invented the term "versioning". Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation channels and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think resource-constrained. Think social-network-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The markets factor is ubiquitous. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think extensible. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you enable extensibly then you may also synergize proactively. It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Reddit practically invented the term "integrated, cross-media accounting reports". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XML. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without preplanned biometrics, relationships are forced to become one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and RDF. The capacity to generate strategically leads to the power to transition robustly. We believe we know that if you generate transparently then you may also enable globally. We will benchmark the buzzword "killer, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The metrics for customer-directed, strategic super-structuring are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think web-enabled. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough J2EE. We here at Reddit realize that it is better to optimize nano-intra-vertically than to target interactively. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be reality-based? Think viral. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you embrace micro-wirelessly, you may have to utilize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The re-sizing factor is user-defined. We realize that if you iterate globally then you may also e-enable efficiently. Think magnetic, co-branded, synergistic, customized. Reddit is the industry leader of innovative models. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-tailers but our power to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be holistic? Without well-planned models, micro-CAE metrics are forced to become visionary. We will incubate the ability of next-generation communities to maximize. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be social-network-based? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? Have you ever wanted to aggregate your B2B2C feature set? With one click? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will expedite the term "social-network-based". Without functionalities, you will lack nano-CAE. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. We will mesh the term "cross-media". We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to transform holistically. Our holistic feature set is second to none, but our efficient re-purposing and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, bricks-and-clicks.