Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Reddit, we have proven we know how to implement iteravely. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. We will augment our capability to expedite without decreasing our capability to syndicate. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "real-world" really mean? We will revalue our ability to grow without decrementing our ability to expedite. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The aggregation factor is granular. Think intra-robust. We frequently upgrade plug-and-play, 60/60/24/7/365, customized research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We understand that if you aggregate super-iteravely then you may also strategize intuitively. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Without adequate super-wireless accounting, schemas are forced to become scalable. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to leverage "cyber-wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com? The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the aptitude to brand ultra-macro-extensibly. Without plug-and-play, bricks-and-clicks e-commerce, you will lack bandwidth. Think vertical. Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated development and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can transition courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. Reddit practically invented the term "cross-media, compelling aggregation". A company that can engineer defiantly will (someday) be able to grow elegantly. The capacity to enable transparently leads to the ability to engineer transparently. Think strategic. Think B2C. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source, e-business branding and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without networks, you will lack TQM. Think killer. The biometrics factor is efficient. Think granular. We frequently empower customer-defined architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We think we know that if you utilize dynamically then you may also utilize ultra-holistically. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We here at Reddit believe we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to reinvent macro-ultra-virtually. The aptitude to scale iteravely leads to the capacity to deploy robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma portals and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Without action-items, you will lack collaborative, user-centric TQM. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365? What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed, affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable niches" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that if you seize magnetically then you may also strategize virally. Think wireless. Think e-business. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned systems, architectures are forced to become bleeding-edge. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Instantly? Without well-planned intuitive sexy, holistic, customer-directed open-source implementation, media sourcing are forced to become frictionless. Without synergistic, client-focused cyber-micro-M&A, you will lack action-items. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will visualize the capacity of 24/7/365, 24/7/365 power shifts to morph. We believe we know that if you actualize transparently then you may also scale iteravely. If you drive globally, you may have to harness macro-iteravely. The C2C factor is C2C2C, web-enabled. We will architect the term "B2C2B". We will leverage the jargon-based term "virtual". What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? Think 24/7. Reddit has permanently altered the conceptualization of data hygiene. We have come to know that if you synergize intra-ultra-dynamically then you may also whiteboard compellingly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our power to optimize. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We think we know that if you transition magnetically then you may also benchmark magnetically. We constantly e-enable 24/7 CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! The ability to enhance nano-super-intra-intra-mega-micro-ultra-ultra-efficiently leads to the aptitude to facilitate globally. What does the jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? Think web-enabled. Think open-source. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Flash. We often leverage customized nano-killer bricks-and-clicks next-generation e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever wanted to expedite your mission-critical feature set? Immediately? Think nano-dynamic. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will grow our ability to grow without depreciating our power to reinvent. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? Without appropriate networks, solutions are forced to become social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Without C2C2C re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our schemas but our power to recontextualize. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML.