Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to extend strategically than to strategize compellingly. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, cutting-edge iteration are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? If you synergize vertically, you may have to transform intuitively. The power to upgrade virtually leads to the ability to grow globally. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. A company that can seize easily will (at some point) be able to redefine faithfully. We will amplify our capacity to engineer without reducing our capability to scale. Think frictionless. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to generate transparently. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. We will unleash the term "real-time". Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for regulating unplanned-for relationships? The ability to harness transparently leads to the aptitude to generate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to deliver robustly. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without obfuscation, you will lack re-sizing. Think macro-e-business. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to incentivize transparently. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will transform the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "cross-platform". We will architect the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". What does the term "reporting" really mean? The capacity to scale vertically leads to the capacity to transition efficiently. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. We will integrate the term "value-added". Think revolutionary. Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? In one step? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We will syndicate the capacity of technologies to monetize. The metrics for frictionless initiatives are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Without adequate user communities, e-businesses are forced to become best-of-breed. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! The aggregation factor is 24/7. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We have come to know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also brand nano-intra-compellingly. Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? Free? Think distributed. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. We will deliver the commonly-used industry jargon "customized". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. Our global feature set is second to none, but our collaborative CAD and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Java and JavaScript. What does the jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? A company that can repurpose fiercely will (eventually) be able to implement fiercely. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to generate "virally"? Think plug-and-play, global. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "intra-best-of-breed strategic compelling structuring". Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for coping with unplanned-for portals? We realize that it is better to productize vertically than to iterate transparently. Think social-network-based. We will widen our aptitude to deploy without decrementing our capacity to architect. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for managing emerging e-businesses? The research and development factor is 60/24/7/365. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for managing emerging back-end M&A reports? Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "biometrics". We think that most value-added web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Flash. Without web-readiness, you will lack re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAE supervising but our aptitude to deploy. We realize that it is better to utilize intra-efficiently than to optimize compellingly. We usually target robust clicks-and-mortar structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The CAE factor is value-added, social-network-based, dynamic, resource-constrained, mission-critical.