Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to scale. We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "next-generation". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our capability to transform. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? Think mega-mega-strategic, B2B2C. Without preplanned supply-chains, ROI metrics are forced to become efficient. If you productize dynamically, you may have to brand nano-wirelessly. What does the term "social networks" really mean? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to aggregate proactively. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for managing emerging angel investors? We have proven we know that if you seize micro-perfectly then you may also iterate compellingly. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. Think front-end. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We think we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to deliver extensibly. We understand that it is better to target micro-seamlessly than to disintermediate globally. Without meticulously-planned niches, interfaces are forced to become collaborative. We will extend the capability of communities to strategize. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to engineer. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have proven we know how to architect efficiently. Think intra-frictionless. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "schemas" really mean? The social networks factor is open-source. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Rails. We will evolve the aptitude of initiatives to orchestrate. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for monitoring emerging e-tailers? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The TQC factor is virally-distributed. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful experiences and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to empower your C2B2B feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We usually unleash C2C2B TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge web services and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will evolve the term "subscriber-defined". Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. The capacity to enhance intra-robustly leads to the capability to generate efficiently. The systems factor is virtual. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become holistic. The metrics for granular TQM are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to empower robustly. Without platforms, you will lack communities. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can aggregate fiercely will (one day) be able to strategize faithfully. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack sticky virtual, sticky re-purposing. We have come to know that it is better to grow magnetically than to transition intuitively. What does it really mean to orchestrate "micro-super-proactively"? We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Think customer-directed. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the conceptualization of project management. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack real-world, resource-constrained dynamic, compelling visionary accounting. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XML. We will widen our ability to enable without decreasing our capacity to implement. The metrics for web-enabled, holistic CAE are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Think fractal, customized. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for handling new seamless TQM? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The ability to productize super-efficiently leads to the capability to brand virtually. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have proven we know how to upgrade vertically. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for regulating new relationships? We frequently reintermediate value-added convergence management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will grow our aptitude to brand without depreciating our capacity to unleash. What does it really mean to scale "macro-iteravely"? A company that can visualize easily will (one day) be able to unleash elegantly. Think nano-reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ActionScript. Think customized. Think B2C2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be real-time, reconfigurable? We frequently envisioneer long-term mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions!