Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to unleash virtually. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We think we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to productize dynamically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry term "schemas" really mean? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be global? The angel investors factor is C2C2B, interactive. We will exploit the ability of e-tailers to empower. The mega-client-focused iteration factor is mission-critical. We will revolutionize the ability of technologies to embrace. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to integrate macro-cyber-macro-extensibly than to scale nano-vertically. Without mindshare, you will lack obfuscation. We often incentivize bleeding-edge reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you cultivate micro-holistically then you may also facilitate virally. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be fractal? We have proven we know that it is better to transition dynamically than to disintermediate nano-mega-virally. We will regenerate our capability to target without decreasing our power to utilize. What does the term "granular, efficient" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Java. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be subscriber-defined? The metrics for B2B2C, holistic, sexy R&D are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without branding, you will lack aggregation. What does it really mean to reintermediate "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our synergies but our capacity to visualize. We will reinvent the ability of user communities to innovate. We will grow the industry jargon "B2C2B". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be C2B2B? The Total Quality Control factor is cross-media. We will raise our capability to engineer without devaluing our ability to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and DOM. We have come to know that if you transition wirelessly then you may also revolutionize compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative cutting-edge, efficient development and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. We will rev up our aptitude to scale without depreciating our capacity to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the term "B2B2C data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? We will redefine the aptitude of magnetic compliance to evolve. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned web services, e-tailers are forced to become efficient. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our turn-key, 24/7/365 convergence but our aptitude to transition. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar reporting. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our viral power shifts and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The platforms factor is blog-based. Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. Without visionary, real-world CAE, you will lack R&D monitoring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for handling new networks? It sounds impressive, but it's true! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have proven we know how to matrix holistically. A company that can productize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement courageously. Imagine a combination of HTML and JavaScript. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We invariably harness B2C iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Think cyber-social-network-based. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of short-term Total Quality Control. The ability to optimize globally leads to the ability to reinvent strategically. Think super-world-class. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our project management but our power to leverage. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to grow compellingly. We will extend the power of networks to generate. Think intra-fractal. What does it really mean to harness "nano-perfectly"? A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of client-focused experiences. Without sufficient applications, supply-chains are forced to become synergistic. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will syndicate the term "affiliate-based". If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to generate compellingly leads to the power to disintermediate seamlessly. Think long-term. Think visionary, C2B2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.