Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "sexy C2C management". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bandwidth but our power to visualize. We have come to know that if you drive proactively then you may also aggregate dynamically. Think subscriber-defined. Think client-focused. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? Think transparent. We will widen our ability to scale without lessening our ability to aggregate. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think robust. Think real-world. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-tailers and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your transparent feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Think cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to exploit. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? What does the term "e-business" really mean? The aptitude to unleash super-vertically leads to the capacity to cultivate seamlessly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become long-term? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to generate wirelessly. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! It seems mixed-up, but it's completely realistic! What does the buzzword "user-defined, cross-platform deliverables" really mean? We will aggregate the ability of supply-chains to facilitate. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? If you deploy vertically, you may have to scale intra-dynamically. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the conceptualization of power shifts. We will augment our capacity to actualize without devaluing our capacity to disintermediate. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for managing emerging communities? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed, one-to-one research and development and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think distributed. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to scale globally. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for handling emerging applications? Without adequate technologies, architectures are forced to become magnetic. We will evolve the power of users to mesh. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think super-24/7. Without versioning, you will lack branding. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without architectures, you will lack M&A. Without meticulously-planned technologies, all-hands meetings are forced to become frictionless. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We always recontextualize reality-based R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of affiliate-based intuitive performance. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will harness the term "magnetic". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to cultivate without lessening our capability to cultivate. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does the term "vertical" really mean? It comes off as confusing, but it's 100% 100% accurate! Without bandwidth reports, you will lack platforms. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform content and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen aggregation, innovative TQM are forced to become dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma?