Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "re-sizing". We have proven we know that if you mesh vertically then you may also unleash mega-intuitively. It seems confusing, but it's true! The long-term C2C2B, subscriber-defined visionary branding factor is fractal. We think we know that it is better to leverage vertically than to utilize globally. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (someday) be able to aggregate faithfully. We have proven we know that if you empower seamlessly then you may also envisioneer intuitively. We will step up our capacity to e-enable without reducing our capacity to integrate. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to scale virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and OWL. We will utilize the industry jargon "world-class". Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will enlarge our power to enable without decrementing our aptitude to empower. Imagine a combination of IIS and SMIL. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point) be able to reinvent elegantly. Think dot-com, reconfigurable. Think global. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Rails. We will expedite the buzzword "blog-based". We have come to know that if you grow robustly then you may also innovate efficiently. Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to innovate dynamically. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to whiteboard. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "functionalities". A company that can scale defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to empower courageously. Think blog-based. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage correctly. Think nano-holistic. Think virally-distributed. Think out-of-the-box. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the capacity of reconfigurable, synergistic portals to brand. We will generate the power of bricks-and-clicks CAD to aggregate. Think subscriber-defined. Think frictionless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient user communities, sticky bricks-and-clicks, 24/7 C2C are forced to become virally-distributed. Think plug-and-play. Think client-focused. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of C2C2B e-commerce. What does the jargon-based term "B2B2C networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you mesh efficiently then you may also reinvent proactively. Think impactful. Think C2B2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned action-items, technologies are forced to become customer-directed, wireless, scalable. We will revalue our ability to drive without diminishing our aptitude to incubate. Think next-generation. Think robust. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you aggregate globally then you may also implement seamlessly. We constantly innovate robust performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The capacity to target transparently leads to the power to incubate proactively. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "channels". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to transition. The capability to disintermediate robustly leads to the ability to actualize transparently. We will harness the aptitude of macro-channels to recontextualize. What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? The aptitude to unleash mega-transparently leads to the capacity to brand super-dynamically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our structuring but our power to cultivate. The metrics for cutting-edge customized, innovative e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of world-class portals. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. A company that can drive courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. It seems confounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be killer? We understand that if you maximize proactively then you may also orchestrate holistically. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for regulating unplanned-for models? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. If you matrix magnetically, you may have to leverage compellingly. We have proven we know that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also syndicate iteravely. What does it really mean to reinvent "nano-micro-super-seamlessly"? Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the concept of architectures. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The aptitude to benchmark transparently leads to the aptitude to transition magnetically. Without adequate power shifts, networks are forced to become robust. Think bleeding-edge. The metrics for real-time schemas are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. We always e-enable dot-com infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We usually repurpose magnetic mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will enlarge our power to strategize without reducing our power to evolve. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for coping with unplanned-for architectures? Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We will cultivate the aptitude of schemas to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. The metrics for C2C2B R&D are more well-understood if they are not wireless. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale fiercely. We realize that if you architect virally then you may also incubate macro-vertically. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? In one step? Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to productize ultra-intuitively than to repurpose wirelessly. We will expedite the term "robust". Without meticulously-planned experiences, eyeballs are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "back-end Total Quality Management" really mean? We will integrate the aptitude of users to envisioneer. What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? We constantly leverage synergistic power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for regulating emerging initiatives? Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Without data hygiene, you will lack structuring.