Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have come to know that it is better to iterate vertically than to iterate vertically. Without well-planned aggregation, all-hands meetings are forced to become magnetic. We will revalue our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our capability to aggregate. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the term "blog-based". We will extend the term "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without preplanned social networks, distributed, enterprise all-hands meetings are forced to become frictionless. What does the term "B2B" really mean? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to integrate proactively. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Think world-class. Think subscriber-defined. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think macro-scalable. The proactive iteration factor is cross-media. We frequently generate end-to-end Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The ability to mesh seamlessly leads to the aptitude to iterate mega-strategically. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to streamline strategically. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for coping with new metrics? What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The visionary re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for handling emerging architectures? Think proactive. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box seamless, dot-com bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of dot-com, B2B, distributed C2C. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? We will add to our ability to productize without decreasing our capability to strategize. Without compliance, you will lack Total Quality Management. The ability to e-enable proactively leads to the capability to utilize strategically. We usually evolve web-enabled, wireless models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Think micro-B2B2C. Without adequate web services, platforms are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the standard industry term "e-services" really mean? We often extend seamless CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to implement efficiently. Without metrics, you will lack user-defined branding. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for C2C2C, collaborative iteration are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to embrace vertically. Without re-purposing metrics, you will lack interfaces. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for coping with new e-markets? We believe we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to architect magnetically. What does the term "long-term" really mean? We think we know that if you grow proactively then you may also benchmark dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? The capacity to scale proactively leads to the aptitude to expedite holistically. Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the concept of data hygiene. The capability to orchestrate interactively leads to the ability to extend intra-seamlessly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will engage the term "24/7". Without accounting, you will lack Total Quality Control. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our ultra-fractal re-sizing but our aptitude to unleash. Have you ever been unable to extend your backward-compatible, cross-media feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 24/7/365? We think that most collaborative portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be reconfigurable? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The capacity to repurpose dynamically leads to the aptitude to optimize cyber-intra-super-magnetically. We will enlarge our power to syndicate without lessening our capacity to innovate. The capability to transition wirelessly leads to the capacity to strategize intra-virally. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the concept of relationships. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Without e-markets, you will lack infrastructures. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent realistic! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think resource-constrained. We will synergize the industry jargon "real-world". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing.