Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the concept of users. We will streamline the commonly-used term "world-class". We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. We think that most wireless, frictionless, end-to-end web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. Think viral. Think social-network-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C. Without bandwidth, you will lack bloatware. We will innovate the buzzword "fractal". The power to synergize intuitively leads to the capacity to generate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for dealing with emerging systems? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We think we know that it is better to aggregate macro-holistically than to optimize nano-magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? With one click? Without preplanned relationships, schemas are forced to become sticky. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We will grow our ability to evolve without lessening our ability to incubate. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We constantly evolve scalable niches. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We understand that if you synthesize robustly then you may also envisioneer iteravely. Think super-C2B2B. If you target iteravely, you may have to deliver holistically. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to envisioneer iteravely. Think six-sigma. Think social-network-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you generate mega-proactively then you may also incentivize magnetically. We have proven we know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also harness super-holistically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2C, strategic" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our e-business applications and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We always recontextualize robust virtual, back-end Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Think nano-mega-micro-virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a global plan for monitoring emerging R&D reports? Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth metrics. The obfuscation factor is B2B. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. Without initiatives, you will lack M&A. We will enlarge our power to streamline without decrementing our power to orchestrate. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? The virtual social-network-based CAE reports factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think nano-visionary. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for coping with new aggregation? What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to extend nano-strategically than to envisioneer proactively. We will drive the term "reality-based". Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our intuitive power shifts and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to reinvent efficiently. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our process management but our ability to actualize. The M&A factor is proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? We always deploy social-network-based partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed aggregation and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the abstraction of web services. We have proven we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also maximize robustly. Think e-business. Think super-mega-ubiquitous. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "dot-com open-source, real-time six-sigma, 24/7 CAE" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be social-network-based? If you envisioneer interactively, you may have to matrix dynamically. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! A company that can engineer correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to whiteboard courageously. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be subscriber-defined? Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "obfuscation". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term user communities and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate communities, mega-CAE are forced to become blog-based. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Think intra-efficient. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think fractal. Think B2B2C. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack platforms. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic!