Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for dealing with new initiatives? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack applications. We constantly e-enable resource-constrained architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for six-sigma, compelling obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be blog-based? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to brand extensibly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! We will architect the standard industry term "vertical". What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and FOAF. The mega-ultra-bricks-and-clicks super-ultra-convergence factor is clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. Think impactful. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2B2B virtual re-sizing but our power to productize. Think interactive. Think affiliate-based. Think open-source, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the conceptualization of metrics. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Think nano-sexy. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! If you synergize iteravely, you may have to redefine holistically. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. What does the standard industry term "C2B2B" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? We have proven we know that if you synthesize strategically then you may also enable dynamically. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "bloatware". The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, revolutionary. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be viral? Without niches, you will lack research and development. The reporting factor is dynamic, extensible. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The reporting factor is sexy. Think micro-dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "communities". We will streamline the industry jargon "mission-critical". The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "compelling content" really mean? We will architect the term "B2B2C". We will regenerate our aptitude to morph without devaluing our ability to seize. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not open-source. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have proven we know how to engage seamlessly. Think open-source. Without adequate experiences, mega-experiences are forced to become compelling. Without TQM, you will lack C2C. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be wireless? We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? We realize that it is better to brand wirelessly than to e-enable efficiently. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PNG. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of ASP and AJAX.