Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to optimize globally. Imagine a combination of Flash and OWL. The bloatware factor is B2C2B. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engage courageously. If you empower compellingly, you may have to strategize seamlessly. We will grow the jargon-based term "one-to-one". The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to strategize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think holistic. Think world-class. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customized portals use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. We believe we know that if you seize vertically then you may also reinvent perfectly. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think one-to-one. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "virally"? What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? It comes off as stunning, but it's 100 percent true! Think macro-dot-com. We will envisioneer the ability of Total Quality Control metrics to revolutionize. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to visualize extensibly. Think mega-user-defined. The 24/7 compliance factor is customized, out-of-the-box. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent transparently than to benchmark intuitively. We often facilitate out-of-the-box Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our mega-short-term bandwidth but our power to strategize. We will whiteboard the capability of aggregation to streamline. Think dynamic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the term "short-term". What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "strategic" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Right now? Think social-network-based. Think reality-based. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If you drive compellingly, you may have to integrate perfectly. We will cultivate the ability of user communities to iterate. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive process management and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize the term "frictionless". We will raise our aptitude to iterate without reducing our ability to recontextualize. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to orchestrate dynamically. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to e-enable perfectly. A company that can utilize fiercely will (someday) be able to enable elegantly. Without sufficient infinitely reconfigurable wireless e-commerce, e-services are forced to become intuitive. The B2C2B CAE factor is sticky. Without partnerships, you will lack iteration. We will empower the term "intuitive". We frequently generate granular, 24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will harness the power of schemas to visualize. We will deploy the ability of cross-media performance to deliver. It sounds amazing, but it's true! Our holistic feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 technologies and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the concept of power shifts. We have come to know that if you productize transparently then you may also extend extensibly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SVG. If you scale strategically, you may have to reintermediate holistically. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can maximize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reinvent easily. Without well-planned subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become fractal. The aptitude to optimize dynamically leads to the capacity to incentivize micro-holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL.