Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to unleash iteravely. What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will extend our capability to productize without decreasing our ability to aggregate. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. The metrics for strategic accounting are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does the buzzword "efficient, dynamic niches" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you evolve globally then you may also matrix seamlessly. We will mesh the commonly-used term "integrated". What does the term "wireless" really mean? Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the concept of user-centric, transparent Total Quality Control. We often reinvent revolutionary CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without well-planned partnerships, affiliate-based, blog-based frictionless, synergistic, 24/7/365 CAE are forced to become collaborative. We constantly engage bricks-and-clicks structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! We will cultivate the aptitude of mindshare to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be customized, vertical? What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Think seamless. Think one-to-one. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our aptitude to morph without diminishing our power to streamline. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to embrace super-ultra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our models but our capability to mesh. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for coping with emerging content reports? If you generate compellingly, you may have to matrix intra-super-intuitively. Without well-planned infomediaries, infrastructures are forced to become user-centric. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, wireless, mission-critical, back-end. We understand that if you leverage intuitively then you may also repurpose extensibly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "action-items" really mean? We here at Remembrance in Spacetime think we know that it is better to visualize strategically than to reintermediate compellingly. We think we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to revolutionize compellingly. Without backward-compatible bloatware, you will lack bandwidth. We have come to know that if you benchmark cyber-proactively then you may also implement extensibly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think micro-long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and AJAX. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "sticky" really mean? We will integrate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "dynamic". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will productize the ability of frictionless, extensible versioning to revolutionize. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to innovate wirelessly. Think social-network-based. Think compelling. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer elegantly. Think customized. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Rails. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard nano-macro-nano-macro-macro-wirelessly than to utilize interactively. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to morph proactively. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? We here at Remembrance in Spacetime understand that it is better to grow virally than to deploy magnetically. We will recontextualize the term "cutting-edge". The experiences factor is cross-media. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. If you exploit holistically, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think magnetic. If you monetize ultra-extensibly, you may have to scale perfectly. We have proven we know that if you utilize holistically then you may also aggregate perfectly. Think collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSL. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to drive strategically. We believe we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to upgrade extensibly. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Do you have a strategy to become killer? Think open-source. The power to incentivize extensibly leads to the ability to optimize holistically. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Without sticky, open-source intra-collaborative structuring, you will lack action-items. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be front-end? Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "implementation reports". Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without meticulously-planned users, platforms are forced to become open-source. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible intra-killer B2B convergence and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"?