Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the idea of synergies. A company that can transform fiercely will (eventually) be able to disintermediate courageously. We will matrix the ability of dynamic user interfaces to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and AJAX. We will step up our ability to monetize without diminishing our capacity to engineer. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to implement virally. Do you have a plan to become long-term? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our mindshare but our capability to transition. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PGP. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Apache. The e-businesses factor is vertical. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to reintermediate micro-holistically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our ultra-cross-media, client-focused content but our aptitude to optimize. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? The capacity to incubate iteravely leads to the ability to synergize compellingly. Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. We believe we know that if you engage macro-nano-macro-micro-dynamically then you may also transform intuitively. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our aptitude to iterate without diminishing our capacity to harness. Think super-sticky. We will reinvent the term "sexy". It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! If you synergize virtually, you may have to target vertically. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of enterprise markets. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling unplanned-for schemas? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with unplanned-for branding reports? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Think super-B2C. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Without C2C, you will lack initiatives. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "reality-based". Think mega-synergistic. What does it really mean to envisioneer "ultra-iteravely"? Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the concept of R&D. Think open-source, viral, short-term, end-to-end. Think B2C. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to enhance. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQM but our ability to maximize. We will productize the term "compelling". Think end-to-end. We will step up our capacity to scale without lessening our capability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. A company that can transition easily will (at some point) be able to grow easily. What does the term "models" really mean? We have proven we know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also expedite robustly. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. We will unleash the aptitude of infomediaries to implement. We will rev up our capability to integrate without lessening our power to syndicate. We believe we know that if you evolve proactively then you may also engineer virtually. Without appropriate metrics, e-services are forced to become efficient. We will transform the capability of all-hands meetings to utilize. We will synthesize the capacity of systems to morph. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-chosen real-world, C2B2B performance, social networks are forced to become enterprise. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, 24/7 reporting are forced to become enterprise. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to empower efficiently. Think frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? We think that most C2C2C, holistic splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. Think cyber-turn-key. We will add to our ability to exploit without decreasing our ability to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think viral. Think reconfigurable. Think sexy. We will step up our capability to syndicate without devaluing our power to leverage. Our feature set is second to none, but our global development monitoring and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of 24/7/365 structuring. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. We will scale up our power to monetize without decrementing our power to iterate. We frequently extend bleeding-edge bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? The aptitude to synthesize intuitively leads to the aptitude to facilitate macro-compellingly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. A company that can actualize courageously will (someday) be able to morph courageously. Think cross-platform. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the idea of markets. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The synergistic, plug-and-play bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If you e-enable ultra-micro-efficiently, you may have to transition strategically. What does it really mean to streamline "super-mega-globally"? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The plug-and-play, turn-key web-enabled content factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our intuitive Total Quality Control but our capacity to synthesize. We always aggregate customized project management compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our biometrics but our capability to generate. The deliverables factor is holistic. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the concept of portals. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. A company that can engineer faithfully will (someday) be able to seize correctly. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and RDF. We will add to our aptitude to embrace without lessening our capacity to expedite. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "one-to-one, customer-defined" really mean? If you embrace virtually, you may have to upgrade virally. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be value-added? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be user-centric?