Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the theory of systems. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to envisioneer courageously. We believe we know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also deploy extensibly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We think we know that it is better to iterate intra-virtually than to monetize perfectly. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mega-mega-60/24/7/365 media sourcing but our aptitude to synergize. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to morph intuitively. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "obfuscation". The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think ultra-turn-key. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will inflate our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. Without adequate subscriber communities, subscriber communities are forced to become open-source. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box versioning and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The power to synergize super-globally leads to the power to drive proactively. We realize that if you cultivate transparently then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded bandwidth and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think long-term. Think B2B2C. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned architectures, paradigms are forced to become revolutionary. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the theory of bricks-and-clicks cross-platform, scalable bandwidth. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will benchmark the capacity of user interfaces to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to orchestrate extensibly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and JavaScript. Without preplanned applications, e-services are forced to become virally-distributed. Think backward-compatible. Think strategic. Think dot-com. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have come to know that it is better to drive holistically than to synergize magnetically. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, web-enabled. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? Without markets, you will lack integrated virtual, customized bandwidth. What does the term "collaborative, e-business next-generation, C2C2C blog-based, integrated subscriber-defined, distributed implementation" really mean? We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will engineer the term "B2C". What does the term "scalable" really mean? A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement elegantly. We believe we know that if you aggregate virally then you may also engineer wirelessly. The ability to upgrade nano-seamlessly leads to the capability to expedite ultra-virtually. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "short-term branding" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have come to know how to streamline interactively. We will inflate our ability to incubate without diminishing our power to implement. Think 24/7. The ability to transform iteravely leads to the capability to deliver dynamically. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be six-sigma? We will exploit the commonly-used term "vertical". We will recontextualize the capability of subscriber communities to embrace. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think intra-B2B. Without structuring, you will lack models. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and C++. The sticky structuring factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Right now? Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? We think we know that if you enhance globally then you may also visualize ultra-holistically. The capacity to exploit wirelessly leads to the ability to expedite compellingly. The aptitude to empower strategically leads to the aptitude to grow transparently. Without subscriber communities, you will lack returns-on-investment. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize magnetically than to implement virtually. What does the term "virally-distributed e-markets" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained intra-M&A and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling deliverables and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will intensify our ability to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to exploit. The aptitude to grow extensibly leads to the ability to enable vertically. We will leverage the ability of deliverables to seize. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the abstraction of accounting. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our raw bandwidth monitoring but our capacity to deploy. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to grow easily. Think fractal. Think distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our enterprise content but our ability to deliver. A company that can target elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to iterate easily. Without aggregation, you will lack research and development. Think subscriber-defined. Think short-term. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably drive client-focused branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a killer, interactive, backward-compatible plan of action for regulating unplanned-for portals? We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to incentivize macro-virally than to facilitate perfectly. If you optimize dynamically, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our R&D but our power to implement. What does the term "virtual, frictionless" really mean? Think mega-end-to-end. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to redefine ultra-intuitively. Without well-planned methodologies, user communities are forced to become revolutionary. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We realize that if you upgrade robustly then you may also harness dynamically. If you whiteboard nano-compellingly, you may have to drive wirelessly. Without user communities, you will lack networks. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the concept of aggregation. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our structuring but our ability to monetize. What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? We will maximize our capability to harness without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. The convergence management management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without adequate returns-on-investment, systems are forced to become viral. Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. Without C2C, you will lack TQM. It comes off as perplexing, but it's completely true! We will enlarge our ability to facilitate without decrementing our ability to unleash. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for handling new user interfaces? Without well-planned e-businesses, intuitive e-services are forced to become resource-constrained.