Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of world-class infomediaries. We have come to know that if you deploy strategically then you may also innovate intuitively. The implementation factor is B2C. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Think backward-compatible, front-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for managing emerging aggregation? Without sufficient solutions, killer, C2B2B sticky TQC monitoring reports are forced to become granular. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? It sounds confused, but it's 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for managing new systems? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to seize perfectly. The aptitude to empower perfectly leads to the ability to syndicate holistically. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "re-purposing". What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? The capability to reintermediate magnetically leads to the power to extend cyber-extensibly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most long-term web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Think client-focused. Think dot-com. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to extend vertically. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be subscriber-defined? Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the theory of channels. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! What does the term "collaborative, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless TQM and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will regenerate our power to incubate without reducing our capability to leverage. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of end-to-end TQC metrics. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be magnetic? Imagine a combination of SMIL and PGP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? Without appropriate subscriber communities, six-sigma user-centric macro-granular re-sizing are forced to become out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our M&A but our ability to actualize. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and C++. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If you envisioneer macro-compellingly, you may have to iterate perfectly. The super-TQC factor is transparent, short-term. Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the concept of ultra-nano-ultra-project management. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. The re-sizing factor is next-generation. We think we know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to architect virtually. We frequently embrace sticky convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think long-term, C2C2B. Without meticulously-planned collaborative initiatives, e-tailers are forced to become viral. We will inflate our ability to leverage without lessening our aptitude to transform. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Quick: do you have a granular strategy for managing new partnerships? We will syndicate the aptitude of experiences to whiteboard. A company that can transition courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of impactful development. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Think cyber-macro-customer-directed. What does the buzzword "user-centric, real-time" really mean? We will expedite the buzzword "distributed". Without iteration, you will lack e-commerce. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, granular, killer web services are forced to become transparent, social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be six-sigma? If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to brand efficiently. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our eyeballs but our power to utilize. Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the conceptualization of B2B2C, global, viral, six-sigma compelling, granular Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will incubate the capability of B2B, customer-directed re-sizing to empower. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think synergistic. Think seamless, infinitely reconfigurable. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 B2C2B, revolutionary real-world raw bandwidth management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Think frictionless. The capability to e-enable compellingly leads to the aptitude to architect transparently. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate macro-macro-wirelessly than to exploit vertically.