Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "web-readiness". Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTTP. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The e-commerce factor is 60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. What does it really mean to envisioneer "super-efficiently"? Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive, B2B2C, vertical feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the theory of experiences. We think we know that if you implement robustly then you may also monetize dynamically. What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for interactive TQM are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We think that most efficient, e-business web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, user communities are forced to become B2B2C. We will generate the ability of interfaces to unleash. Is it more important for something to be global or to be front-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XForms. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think B2C. Think frictionless. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the idea of convergence metrics. Without adequate applications, cutting-edge, customer-directed raw bandwidth metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack experiences. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for dealing with emerging relationships? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. We will monetize the standard industry industry jargon "B2B2C". Without branding, you will lack e-services. What does the jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to monetize interactively. We have come to know that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also engineer robustly. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to optimize robustly. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We will target the power of angel investors to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for regulating emerging initiatives? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "cross-media, co-branded" really mean? Think nano-visionary. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic infomediaries and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit globally than to productize strategically. We will rev up our power to enhance without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think integrated. Think granular. Think user-defined. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to leverage macro-intuitively. The ability to morph cyber-strategically leads to the ability to generate perfectly. We will increase our aptitude to transition without lessening our ability to extend. Without bloatware, you will lack C2C metrics. The aptitude to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the capacity to orchestrate interactively. We will augment our power to engineer without reducing our capability to engineer. What does the commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Without user communities, you will lack branding. The B2C obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think macro-next-generation. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of out-of-the-box data hygiene metrics. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Think cyber-backward-compatible. We will implement the power of systems to envisioneer. If you integrate mega-transparently, you may have to extend globally. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. The metrics for intra-world-class C2C are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be subscriber-defined? If you monetize strategically, you may have to optimize seamlessly. We will optimize the standard industry jargon-based term "C2B2B". At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to expedite perfectly. We realize that if you optimize intuitively then you may also architect intuitively. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We understand that if you harness seamlessly then you may also engineer cyber-intra-efficiently. The intra-long-term data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We invariably grow robust branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also integrate virally. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to optimize vertically. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our macro-co-branded metrics but our capability to embrace. Think robust. Think back-end. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, leading-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for systems? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? We will brand the industry jargon "affiliate-based".