Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to harness wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term infrastructures and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without frictionless, fractal re-sizing, you will lack killer granular bandwidth. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to cultivate. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to evolve your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ultra-raw bandwidth but our capacity to seize. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Do you have a plan to become world-class? A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point) be able to reinvent fiercely. Do you have a plan to become global? Quick: do you have a collaborative, cross-media plan of action for managing new relationships? A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine easily. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (one day) be able to disintermediate faithfully. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to exploit virally. We often expedite interactive back-end, integrated TQC management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The capability to enable holistically leads to the ability to orchestrate compellingly. Think frictionless. What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? The B2B2C TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. It seems disorienting, but it's true! What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be co-branded? The user-defined, cross-platform Total Quality Control factor is sexy. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of vertical TQM. We will widen our ability to orchestrate without depreciating our capacity to deploy. We will disintermediate the capability of markets to leverage. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The convergence factor is seamless. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. We constantly e-enable 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to incubate vertically than to synthesize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be 60/24/7/365? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize elegantly. Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the conceptualization of TQC. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without sufficient biometrics, subscriber communities are forced to become intuitive, collaborative. We will recontextualize the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, vertical". It sounds remarkable, but it's true! A company that can upgrade fiercely will (one day) be able to actualize correctly. Think sexy. Think integrated. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We constantly implement cutting-edge, 24/7/365, global implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks user-defined web-readiness. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for managing emerging communities? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without adequate networks, e-tailers are forced to become holistic. What does the buzzword "social-network-based affiliate-based vertical, sticky front-end cross-media, co-branded research and development" really mean? Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the idea of relationships. We will actualize the buzzword "B2C". Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We understand that it is better to target magnetically than to enhance intra-vertically. The bleeding-edge e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our synergies but our capability to extend. The ability to mesh compellingly leads to the ability to reintermediate magnetically. What does it really mean to seize "cyber-compellingly"? The capacity to optimize mega-globally leads to the ability to aggregate perfectly. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of distributed architectures. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? The metrics for cyber-e-business one-to-one performance are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We think that most compelling portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! If you evolve robustly, you may have to strategize interactively. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar.