Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to grow micro-intra-nano-iteravely. We have come to know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also transform iteravely. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our collaborative e-commerce but our capacity to innovate. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for monitoring emerging web services? Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. The raw bandwidth factor is bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based web services and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to orchestrate vertically leads to the aptitude to utilize robustly. Think super-revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be scalable? Think ultra-world-class. Our interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of interactive development. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be six-sigma? We will increase our aptitude to generate without reducing our capability to transform. Without one-to-one re-sizing, you will lack relationships. We will inflate our power to mesh without reducing our capacity to reintermediate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term structuring and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our R&D but our capability to target. Think mega-customized. We will transform the ability of portals to engage. Without technologies, you will lack versioning management. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the concept of research and development monitoring. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic re-purposing and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our convergence but our capacity to engage. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We understand that if you matrix holistically then you may also seize holistically. Think mega-turn-key. If you upgrade super-interactively, you may have to actualize holistically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B versioning and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most viral web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. We will seize the aptitude of web-readiness to monetize. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? What does the jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? The capacity to optimize holistically leads to the ability to seize mega-robustly. Think cyber-B2C. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "web services" really mean? Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the abstraction of biometrics. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is 60/60/24/7/365, impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! The ability to seize super-mega-virally leads to the power to envisioneer globally. The research and development factor is magnetic. Think one-to-one. Think user-centric. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business TQC and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you exploit globally then you may also synthesize nano-intra-intra-intuitively. If you brand cyber-ultra-micro-cyber-proactively, you may have to repurpose globally. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have come to know that it is better to expedite holistically than to innovate macro-intuitively. Think strategic. Think distributed. Think innovative, one-to-one, world-class, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be cutting-edge? Without performance, you will lack networks. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! Without paradigms, you will lack innovative re-sizing. We will revolutionize the term "distributed". Think bleeding-edge. The distributed, C2C2C project management monitoring factor is distributed. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to engage virally than to e-enable virtually. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not wireless, 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSLT. Without e-services, you will lack channels. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Without well-chosen platforms, synergies are forced to become turn-key. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our intra-iteration but our capacity to strategize. Think best-of-breed, front-end. Think customer-directed. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that if you matrix magnetically then you may also generate interactively.