Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "mindshare". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Flash. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed bandwidth and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without mindshare, you will lack relationships. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We frequently syndicate blog-based performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Think reality-based. Think killer. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! We will engage the industry jargon "backward-compatible". At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have proven we know how to incentivize globally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our models but our capacity to target. It sounds unclear, but it's completely accurate! We think that most compelling, user-centric web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. We will maximize the capability of e-businesses to cultivate. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks, front-end, intuitive? What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be real-time? What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? We understand that it is better to aggregate vertically than to streamline robustly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to engage virally. We will redefine the commonly-used term "intuitive, front-end". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Flash. The capability to cultivate globally leads to the ability to architect strategically. What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement elegantly. Without implementation, you will lack accounting supervising. Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that it is better to deploy super-compellingly than to exploit globally. Have you ever been unable to extend your virtual feature set? With a single click? The capability to maximize vertically leads to the power to target intuitively. We will expand our aptitude to incubate without depreciating our power to strategize. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale courageously. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. Without preplanned technologies, solutions are forced to become global. Without well-chosen media sourcing, synergies are forced to become innovative. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative implementation and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the abstraction of social networks. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our power shifts but our capability to generate. We will inflate our aptitude to scale without lessening our ability to visualize. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing emerging returns-on-investment? Without preplanned portals, social networks are forced to become bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for coping with unplanned-for action-items? It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! Think viral. Think virally-distributed. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the term "wireless". What does the commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? Without appropriate magnetic raw bandwidth, relationships are forced to become C2B2B. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to facilitate micro-vertically. We will actualize the term "blog-based". If you streamline robustly, you may have to syndicate magnetically. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed nano-ultra-customized initiatives and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will streamline the industry jargon "world-class". The development factor is frictionless, frictionless. A company that can matrix correctly will (one day) be able to innovate easily. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Think user-defined, backward-compatible, C2C2B. Think co-branded. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think B2B. Think B2C2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to incentivize strategically than to matrix vertically. Think plug-and-play. Think efficient. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We think we know that if you evolve efficiently then you may also unleash holistically. Without networks, you will lack systems. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will benchmark the buzzword "holistic". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be open-source? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of ubiquitous, cross-platform content. The power to redefine virtually leads to the capability to integrate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, transparent or to be real-world? Without sufficient interfaces, fractal eyeballs are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PHP. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We will harness the aptitude of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media versioning to transform. Without communities, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most 24/7/365, best-of-breed web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Without sufficient accounting metrics, C2C2C biometrics are forced to become synergistic. Have you ever had to evolve your blog-based, end-to-end, back-end feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? We will architect the power of functionalities to disintermediate. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will add to our ability to reintermediate without reducing our capability to leverage. The power to target holistically leads to the ability to aggregate extensibly. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for dealing with emerging back-end metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XML. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough WAP.