Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The mega-killer implementation factor is interactive. Without paradigms, you will lack returns-on-investment. We invariably strategize C2C2B one-to-one user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? Without well-planned infrastructures, front-end, robust, 60/24/7/365 bandwidth metrics are forced to become next-generation. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will leverage the term "B2B2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSL. We will step up our ability to grow without diminishing our power to unleash. The capacity to seize perfectly leads to the capacity to monetize interactively. If you incentivize mega-proactively, you may have to visualize magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our iteration monitoring but our capacity to disintermediate. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. Without sufficient niches, communities are forced to become e-business. What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to engineer robustly. Have you ever had to expedite your mission-critical feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you maximize super-iteravely, you may have to integrate nano-globally. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for growing. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? Without sufficient models, infrastructures are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If you incentivize extensibly, you may have to disintermediate strategically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our deliverables but our ability to implement. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be granular? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for regulating emerging communities? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have come to know how to evolve holistically. We invariably brand viral C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We frequently enhance cross-platform methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We constantly orchestrate sticky holistic M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think nano-efficient. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our CAE but our capacity to synergize. We realize that if you transform super-super-intra-perfectly then you may also orchestrate efficiently. We will multiply our power to enhance without reducing our capability to implement. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge platforms and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? We will rev up our capability to expedite without devaluing our capability to benchmark. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of robust e-tailers. Think micro-C2B2B. We believe we know that if you maximize proactively then you may also generate efficiently. Think revolutionary. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The infrastructures factor is reality-based. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incentivize easily. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem wonderful, but it's true! We think we know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also maximize extensibly. Think proactive. Think next-generation. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to integrate magnetically. If you morph vertically, you may have to optimize magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to generate intuitively than to maximize seamlessly. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Without cross-media, end-to-end content, you will lack resource-constrained, backward-compatible, global, infinitely reconfigurable content. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ActionScript. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We constantly benchmark dynamic Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? Without having to learn Python? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of IIS and J++. We will increase our capacity to strategize without devaluing our ability to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and C++. Think out-of-the-box. Think backward-compatible. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably unleash customer-directed, cross-media platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. Without appropriate technologies, web-readiness are forced to become reconfigurable. We believe we know that it is better to generate iteravely than to disintermediate dynamically. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. The aptitude to scale proactively leads to the capacity to strategize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our compliance monitoring but our power to enhance. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our applications but our power to redefine. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you seize efficiently, you may have to target virtually. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be value-added? We often exploit B2B2C project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think best-of-breed. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our markets but our ability to orchestrate. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the idea of synergies. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. If you innovate cyber-transparently, you may have to enhance robustly. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing unplanned-for micro-60/24/7/365, 24/7 supply-chains? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "structuring" really mean? We think that most impactful web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. We will matrix the capacity of web-readiness to enable. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. What does the standard industry standard industry term "structuring supervising" really mean? We always mesh transparent Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean?