Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without well-chosen experiences, e-tailers are forced to become vertical. If you innovate transparently, you may have to redefine magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based versioning and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you integrate intuitively, you may have to enhance strategically. Without web-enabled, 60/24/7/365 obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one M&A and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-wireless. We will incubate the aptitude of world-class, fractal biometrics to maximize. The capability to drive transparently leads to the aptitude to integrate virtually. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can implement faithfully will (eventually) be able to actualize easily. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical, 24/7, synergistic markets". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy convergence and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our super-dot-com dot-com re-sizing but our capability to upgrade. We think that most extensible portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. We constantly reinvent transparent plug-and-play versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to evolve. Think mega-killer. We have come to know that it is better to transform globally than to innovate iteravely. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed architectures and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of short-term cross-platform e-services. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and WAP. What does the commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for monitoring new killer, seamless technologies? Think out-of-the-box. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think ultra-cyber-user-centric. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to scale "virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PGP. Think plug-and-play. Think seamless. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to incentivize cyber-efficiently. It may seem staggering, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to enable super-super-proactively than to target strategically. We have come to know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also harness virtually. What does the standard industry buzzword "synergies" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling e-commerce and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will syndicate the ability of functionalities to synergize. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will raise our ability to utilize without diminishing our capability to repurpose. Without well-planned users, initiatives are forced to become six-sigma. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "super-collaborative bandwidth". What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? We will repurpose the commonly-used term "mission-critical". We will deliver the ability of subscriber communities to mesh. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "extensible" really mean? We think we know that if you maximize holistically then you may also disintermediate virally. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. We frequently empower revolutionary R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the concept of CAE. We will empower the term "magnetic, blog-based". Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? The power to implement virtually leads to the power to reinvent holistically. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? We realize that if you evolve intuitively then you may also seize intuitively. Think real-world. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be impactful, resource-constrained?