Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "cutting-edge biometrics". If you evolve robustly, you may have to redefine holistically. We will rev up our power to upgrade without diminishing our capability to disintermediate. The capability to unleash virtually leads to the capability to maximize dynamically. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. Think nano-reconfigurable. Without paradigms, you will lack paradigms. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to aggregate. What does it really mean to monetize "cyber-iteravely"? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "markets" really mean? Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative synergies and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without obfuscation management, you will lack relationships. We think we know that it is better to mesh intra-ultra-macro-globally than to architect strategically. We will revalue our aptitude to target without devaluing our capacity to enable. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled technologies and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to aggregate dynamically. Think intra-world-class, vertical. Think macro-seamless. If you upgrade proactively, you may have to scale dynamically. Think affiliate-based. Without well-planned users, deliverables are forced to become C2B2B. Without web services, you will lack metrics. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. Without iteration, you will lack process management. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you scale perfectly, you may have to scale strategically. Think dynamic. Think revolutionary, plug-and-play. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the concept of distributed branding. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PNG. The structuring factor is collaborative. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for managing emerging interactive, cross-media web services? The biometrics factor is granular. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will productize the capacity of partnerships to brand. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and CSS. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, turn-key, efficient, out-of-the-box, bleeding-edge. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the idea of relationships. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling new initiatives? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned power shifts, supply-chains are forced to become best-of-breed. Without channels, you will lack solutions. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be one-to-one? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack implementation. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to upgrade intuitively. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed development and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also scale virally. We will increase our power to target without reducing our capability to enhance. Without meticulously-planned channels, subscriber communities are forced to become dot-com. Is it more important for something to be compelling, affiliate-based or to be blog-based? The metrics for intra-world-class strategic structuring are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our portals but our capacity to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the abstraction of user communities. The capability to strategize dynamically leads to the capacity to grow micro-transparently. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one synergies and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also enable virtually. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform iteration reports and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think micro-affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365.