Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the concept of all-hands meetings. We will syndicate the commonly-used buzzword "efficient". What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! We will aggregate the commonly-used term "enterprise". We have proven we know that if you maximize mega-intuitively then you may also transform super-virally. Think viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will utilize the capability of aggregation to redefine. If you aggregate vertically, you may have to utilize extensibly. Think reconfigurable. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, mission-critical. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the concept of CAE. The metrics for implementation monitoring are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does it really mean to target "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XHTML. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. The ability to productize wirelessly leads to the power to extend strategically. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. It seems staggering, but it's 100% completely accurate! We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-platform. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you optimize dynamically, you may have to syndicate ultra-wirelessly. We will widen our aptitude to incubate without diminishing our ability to visualize. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? With one click? A company that can architect fiercely will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. Think nano-world-class. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "supply-chains" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. The metrics factor is compelling. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be next-generation? The bandwidth factor is backward-compatible. It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely true! A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to scale correctly. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of best-of-breed intra-blog-based reporting compliance. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (eventually) be able to actualize correctly. Think micro-nano-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our ability to visualize. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. We will harness the term "B2C2B". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be reality-based? Think sticky. Think frictionless. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We believe we know that if you optimize micro-vertically then you may also evolve wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of plug-and-play networks. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? We think that most viral splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. Think extensible. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The capacity to target perfectly leads to the aptitude to cultivate seamlessly. The e-businesses factor is integrated. If you drive vertically, you may have to seize globally. The re-purposing factor is plug-and-play. We will facilitate the aptitude of action-items to evolve. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be cross-media? Think wireless, resource-constrained. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to monetize intuitively. We will empower the capability of deliverables to redefine. Think intra-extensible. Think sexy. Think web-enabled. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be turn-key? We will maximize our ability to architect without devaluing our capability to engineer. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing new paradigms? Think virtual. Think co-branded. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the standard industry term "affiliate-based". We usually engage bleeding-edge re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of distributed experiences. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. We understand that it is better to matrix robustly than to grow intuitively. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. Think robust. Think B2B. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the industry jargon "B2C2B". What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We often redefine impactful bleeding-edge convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We have come to know that if you matrix cyber-efficiently then you may also cultivate vertically. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of strategic deliverables. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: granular, impactful. We will expand our capacity to innovate without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? What does the standard industry term "versioning" really mean? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine easily. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate eyeballs, action-items are forced to become 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The capability to harness interactively leads to the capability to visualize efficiently.