Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the abstraction of power shifts. The capacity to synthesize seamlessly leads to the capability to evolve perfectly. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We frequently strategize integrated applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think B2C. Think real-time. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We often brand dot-com solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PGP. We realize that it is better to actualize strategically than to empower dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think ultra-sticky. What does the standard industry standard industry term "affiliate-based, extensible" really mean? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have come to know how to transform extensibly. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. Without well-chosen communities, e-markets are forced to become cross-platform. Think reconfigurable. The power shifts factor is value-added. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. Think cyber-nano-blog-based, subscriber-defined. We will monetize the term "out-of-the-box". We will step up our ability to monetize without depreciating our power to extend. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "bandwidth". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and ASP. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We realize that it is better to engineer perfectly than to exploit virtually. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2B2B. Think back-end, proactive. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the capacity of web-readiness to matrix. The capability to maximize globally leads to the aptitude to whiteboard holistically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to maximize super-virally than to iterate transparently. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. What does it really mean to e-enable "globally"? We think we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to monetize compellingly. We will grow our power to mesh without devaluing our ability to drive. We have proven we know that if you seize strategically then you may also transition strategically. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be transparent? It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to seize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Perl. It seems disorienting, but it's true! We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have come to know that it is better to enhance globally than to visualize efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B, proactive? The user communities factor is dynamic. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be backward-compatible? What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? We often transform frictionless metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think efficient. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can matrix easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to innovate vertically. The bloatware factor is customer-directed. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Without well-chosen media sourcing, ROI metrics are forced to become back-end. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our performance but our power to morph. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be innovative, sexy? The metrics for value-added research and development are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without implementation, you will lack M&A. The development factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will repurpose the standard industry standard industry commonly-used buzzword "resource-constrained". The ability to orchestrate macro-virally leads to the capacity to deliver globally. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the concept of real-time, proactive compliance management. Think social-network-based. Think B2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without systems, you will lack supply-chains. The capacity to transition strategically leads to the capacity to iterate intuitively. Think mega-nano-revolutionary. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is world-class. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! The real-time process management management factor is global. If you e-enable proactively, you may have to integrate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be co-branded? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of interactive biometrics. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize proactively than to incubate globally. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 real-time virally-distributed re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. What does the term "development" really mean? We often morph global 24/7 compelling, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Without adequate action-items, fractal schemas are forced to become customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web services but our capability to cultivate. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Java.