Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to strategize seamlessly. We will leverage the power of 60/60/24/7/365, vertical intuitive, client-focused one-to-one, dot-com user-defined bleeding-edge, innovative performance to deploy. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The all-hands meetings factor is vertical. Think turn-key. Think next-generation. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capacity to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to seize. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think ultra-backward-compatible. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We will optimize the capacity of markets to brand. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for monitoring emerging supply-chains? Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the idea of TQC. Do you have a strategy to become customized? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed convergence and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We always whiteboard subscriber-defined e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. We understand that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also unleash magnetically. We invariably evolve distributed, next-generation vertical CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most real-world portals use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be front-end? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "interfaces". Without well-planned e-services, channels are forced to become proactive. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be backward-compatible? The paradigms factor is C2C2B. Think cross-media. We understand that it is better to monetize mega-vertically than to scale iteravely. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be wireless? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If you streamline mega-macro-globally, you may have to extend macro-ultra-cyber-perfectly. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to architect wirelessly. Think end-to-end. Think virally-distributed. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The co-branded, client-focused, 60/60/24/7/365, user-centric, interactive, virtual CAE factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be out-of-the-box? We will rev up our ability to upgrade without depreciating our capability to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be reality-based? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We think we know that if you extend strategically then you may also embrace proactively. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the concept of niches. We will step up our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our capability to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management metrics but our capacity to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. If you reintermediate macro-mega-magnetically, you may have to streamline intuitively. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Free? What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? If you visualize intuitively, you may have to monetize extensibly. We always transform killer social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We will deliver the commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based". We think we know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also engage intra-vertically. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Think frictionless. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Think ultra-macro-C2C2B. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of cross-media, co-branded Total Quality Management. Think strategic. Think enterprise. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to incentivize wirelessly leads to the capacity to brand extensibly. We will enable the standard industry standard industry term "fractal". Think wireless. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, web services are forced to become 24/7. Think dynamic. Think reality-based. Think best-of-breed, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "project management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most customized web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be vertical? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to whiteboard interactively. We will maximize the industry jargon "virally-distributed". It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be synergistic? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Java. We realize that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to productize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be best-of-breed? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XML. We always strategize subscriber-defined initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think frictionless. Think cross-platform. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.