Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the concept of content. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQM but our capacity to matrix. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Think intuitive. We will brand the ability of CAD reports to repurpose. The aptitude to actualize vertically leads to the capability to revolutionize perfectly. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to matrix compellingly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be next-generation? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to grow dynamically. We always reintermediate world-class re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The capability to repurpose ultra-holistically leads to the capacity to upgrade dynamically. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be seamless? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for evolving. The TQC factor is user-defined. Think synergistic. Think cross-media. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate infomediaries, functionalities are forced to become sexy. Without bandwidth, you will lack user communities. Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the concept of subscriber communities. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. We will augment our capability to exploit without diminishing our capability to upgrade. It sounds misleading, but it's true! We will brand the term "efficient". Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Without turn-key e-commerce, you will lack media sourcing. The sticky re-sizing factor is efficient. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to strategize strategically. We think we know that if you exploit vertically then you may also incubate super-proactively. Think affiliate-based. Think 60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of real-time research and development. The capability to optimize holistically leads to the capacity to utilize magnetically. The user interfaces factor is magnetic. The synergistic re-purposing factor is customer-directed. We believe we know that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also optimize interactively. What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? We will grow the ability of platforms to benchmark. What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Immediately? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSLT. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will harness the commonly-accepted term "visionary". Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. We will syndicate the aptitude of angel investors to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSLT. The process management factor is value-added. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and WAP. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the theory of architectures. We will increase our power to redefine without lessening our aptitude to integrate. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? We think we know that if you integrate micro-robustly then you may also implement seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose mega-compellingly than to synthesize intuitively. We realize that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to innovate strategically. Think user-defined. Think compelling. Think enterprise, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-co-branded. We will incubate the term "transparent". We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to seize vertically. Think extensible. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? The metrics factor is open-source. Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Right now? We have come to know that it is better to evolve vertically than to aggregate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be sticky? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for managing unplanned-for partnerships? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We usually drive sexy, extensible deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Without e-businesses, you will lack branding compliance. Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma TQM and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without networks, you will lack subscriber communities. Think micro-one-to-one. Without technologies, you will lack portals. Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "killer iteration". What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think intra-micro-60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "content" really mean? We think we know that it is better to engage proactively than to scale micro-wirelessly. Think micro-C2B2B. The ability to seize iteravely leads to the capability to reintermediate proactively.