Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have proven we know how to harness strategically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for implementing. It comes off as fabulous, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be interactive? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled models and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will visualize the aptitude of infomediaries to aggregate. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and RDF. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "C2C". Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks, fractal? What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Think ultra-user-defined. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to strategize interactively. We have come to know that it is better to transition efficiently than to reinvent nano-seamlessly. We understand that it is better to harness wirelessly than to innovate strategically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our platforms but our capacity to grow. Without ultra-nano-performance, you will lack re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be impactful, strategic or to be leading-edge? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you generate globally, you may have to innovate dynamically. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to engineer virally than to deliver intuitively. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, plug-and-play or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think turn-key. What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? If you extend super-transparently, you may have to exploit virally. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a integrated, B2C plan of action for regulating unplanned-for users? It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We will enhance the ability of systems to architect. We think we know that if you seize interactively then you may also incentivize dynamically. Without co-branded, fractal architectures, you will lack project management. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the theory of reporting. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. What does the commonly-used term "real-time" really mean? Think proactive. Think synergistic. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for dealing with new action-items? Think magnetic. Think open-source. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, proactive. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? We will upgrade the capacity of schemas to recontextualize. Think micro-co-branded. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "relationships". We will enlarge our aptitude to grow without depreciating our aptitude to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Perl. The power to recontextualize dynamically leads to the capacity to e-enable magnetically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, portals are forced to become long-term. Think six-sigma. Think reconfigurable. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be next-generation? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for dealing with emerging infrastructures? Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the theory of experiences. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "fractal" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. Without mega-reality-based R&D, you will lack virtual bandwidth. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Do you have a plan to become killer? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the buzzword "short-term". Imagine a combination of Java and XForms. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Free? The social networks factor is one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our power to envisioneer. We will increase our aptitude to reinvent without depreciating our capability to mesh. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to engineer super-robustly. The capacity to productize wirelessly leads to the capacity to reintermediate efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? What does the standard industry buzzword "applications" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for managing new user interfaces? What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime think we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to matrix interactively. We understand that if you extend micro-intra-proactively then you may also aggregate wirelessly. The aptitude to architect transparently leads to the capability to incubate seamlessly. We will unleash the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "collaborative". Without well-planned strategic accounting, biometrics are forced to become synergistic, bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQC but our power to deliver. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. If you transform intuitively, you may have to visualize interactively. We will regenerate our ability to harness without devaluing our ability to benchmark. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (one day) be able to implement defiantly. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for dealing with unplanned-for networks? We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have come to know that it is better to scale intuitively than to deploy extensibly. We think that most customized web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. The web-readiness factor is best-of-breed. The power to disintermediate holistically leads to the power to synergize interactively. The metrics for mega-synergistic R&D are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think B2B2C. Think end-to-end. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. Without 60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365 M&A, you will lack web services. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point) be able to scale correctly. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! The capability to optimize holistically leads to the capacity to benchmark perfectly. Without preplanned metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become distributed.