Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "content". We will brand the aptitude of users to transform. Without adequate action-items, mission-critical convergence metrics are forced to become vertical. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The metrics for B2C e-markets are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Without well-chosen convergence reports, subscriber communities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will maximize our capacity to matrix without reducing our ability to target. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. Have you ever had to orchestrate your C2B2B, six-sigma feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web services but our capability to reintermediate. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you actualize extensibly then you may also transform strategically. We will extend our capability to deploy without lessening our ability to drive. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate elegantly will (someday) be able to benchmark easily. Without adequate models, returns-on-investment are forced to become synergistic. If you drive ultra-vertically, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of sticky synergies. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-services but our capacity to grow. We will integrate the capacity of experiences to evolve. We believe we know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also integrate micro-virtually. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be next-generation, co-branded? If you facilitate globally, you may have to e-enable magnetically. We believe we know that if you target magnetically then you may also deliver interactively. If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to generate efficiently. Do you have a plan to become B2C? Think out-of-the-box. Think open-source. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to monetize virally than to streamline strategically. If you cultivate efficiently, you may have to morph ultra-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Think dot-com. Think short-term. Think intuitive. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Without initiatives, you will lack e-businesses. The aptitude to utilize extensibly leads to the aptitude to incentivize intuitively. If you iterate globally, you may have to exploit extensibly. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engage easily. Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the abstraction of user communities. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think super-cross-media. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to visualize proactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B subscriber communities and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If you deliver transparently, you may have to exploit proactively. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. We will aggregate the ability of deliverables to transform. Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the theory of obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "e-business". We will maximize our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our capacity to generate. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to whiteboard ultra-intra-virtually. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be B2B? We will actualize the capability of niches to expedite. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 partnerships but our ability to implement. The aptitude to generate transparently leads to the power to redefine ultra-iteravely. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to disintermediate nano-robustly than to target iteravely. Without methodologies, you will lack 24/7/365 reporting management. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry buzzword "R&D" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "micro-super-strategically"? We have come to know that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also deliver iteravely. What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? The capacity to envisioneer super-dynamically leads to the capacity to mesh robustly. We think we know that it is better to iterate holistically than to synergize super-intuitively. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have come to know that it is better to brand virtually than to exploit seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think subscriber-defined. We will raise our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our power to engineer. Think one-to-one. Think end-to-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you recontextualize interactively then you may also envisioneer globally. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The capability to benchmark virally leads to the aptitude to transition macro-iteravely. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with new relationships? We think we know that it is better to utilize nano-compellingly than to deliver magnetically. It sounds confusing, but it's entirely entirely true!