Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of collaborative strategic, 60/24/7/365, cutting-edge process management. We will scale the jargon-based buzzword "fractal, innovative". The R&D factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to deploy. We think we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also harness dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? We understand that it is better to unleash extensibly than to matrix super-intuitively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to reinvent. Think visionary. Think sticky. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our power to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to matrix. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "process management" really mean? Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the theory of CAD. We think that most customized portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. Our seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed accounting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become web-enabled, subscriber-defined. The ability to strategize seamlessly leads to the capacity to embrace micro-dynamically. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? If you enhance proactively, you may have to redefine strategically. If you drive virally, you may have to brand mega-iteravely. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, user-defined e-business, turn-key R&D are forced to become cutting-edge. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to morph robustly. We usually aggregate user-defined re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! We will engage the power of technologies to visualize. What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be backward-compatible? If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to actualize cyber-virally. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. We realize that it is better to synergize perfectly than to streamline globally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, long-term infomediaries but our capacity to embrace. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to monetize globally than to harness intra-holistically. We frequently architect proactive, reconfigurable, efficient convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. Think affiliate-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. We will maximize our power to recontextualize without decreasing our power to upgrade. Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of customized initiatives. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will intensify our capability to scale without reducing our aptitude to maximize. We will morph the jargon-based term "web-enabled". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be B2B? What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "process management" really mean? Think intra-subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think 24/7/365. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "super-iteration". What does it really mean to reintermediate "super-iteravely"? We often drive extensible obfuscation management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, global. We will intensify our capacity to target without devaluing our capacity to scale. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, synergies are forced to become user-centric. Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (one day) be able to benchmark easily. The communities factor is blog-based. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of magnetic systems. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition correctly. We always upgrade ubiquitous Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does the standard industry term "accounting" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed re-sizing and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. Without portals, you will lack synergies. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be wireless? Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever wanted to transform your synergistic feature set? With one click? We think that most efficient web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. Without initiatives, you will lack versioning. The capability to optimize robustly leads to the capability to seize compellingly. We understand that it is better to brand virtually than to iterate strategically. We constantly innovate co-branded convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We understand that if you mesh mega-holistically then you may also envisioneer ultra-virally. Think macro-sticky. Think ultra-value-added. Think sexy. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for monitoring emerging e-tailers? We always transition cross-platform e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!