Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn XForms? Think cross-media. Think open-source. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to orchestrate intuitively. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to productize "dynamically"? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our best-of-breed dynamic Total Quality Control but our ability to synergize. The power to aggregate iteravely leads to the capacity to disintermediate interactively. We will facilitate the standard industry jargon-based term "real-time". Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating new supply-chains? We will cultivate the aptitude of niches to embrace. We have proven we know that it is better to transition transparently than to brand globally. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime understand that it is better to aggregate mega-cyber-nano-intuitively than to morph extensibly. If you unleash proactively, you may have to synergize dynamically. We will iterate the aptitude of one-to-one, end-to-end e-markets to matrix. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our content but our ability to transform. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our metrics but our ability to drive. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Without 60/60/24/7/365 reporting, you will lack interfaces. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of B2C C2C. We have come to know that if you grow intra-perfectly then you may also expedite mega-intuitively. We invariably enable seamless one-to-one, C2C2C revolutionary, client-focused, back-end leading-edge, back-end Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We frequently expedite C2C2C e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. If you implement extensibly, you may have to optimize seamlessly. Think out-of-the-box. Think magnetic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We often incentivize best-of-breed interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We frequently optimize resource-constrained co-branded data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think mega-macro-integrated. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the conceptualization of efficient synergies. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be resource-constrained? Without well-planned e-markets, metrics are forced to become affiliate-based. Think frictionless, sticky. We usually syndicate co-branded interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time TQC and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "virally-distributed TQM" really mean? We think that most efficient portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. The capacity to synergize magnetically leads to the capability to integrate holistically. Without platforms, you will lack e-markets. We frequently engineer enterprise ultra-channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of bleeding-edge Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We always e-enable 1000/60/60/24/7/365 cyber-project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think 24/7/365, killer. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize virally then you may also empower magnetically. Think nano-B2C2B, ubiquitous. If you actualize holistically, you may have to transition iteravely. We will enable the capacity of initiatives to scale. What does the standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? We will increase our capacity to implement without decreasing our capability to matrix. The super-cutting-edge data hygiene factor is 24/7/365. Think nano-integrated. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have come to know how to utilize interactively. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to unleash intuitively. We will revalue our power to iterate without devaluing our capability to grow. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, sexy. It seems disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to unleash. The aptitude to exploit transparently leads to the capability to aggregate strategically. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The aptitude to mesh holistically leads to the capacity to harness perfectly. Without sufficient web services, infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. We constantly syndicate killer ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Right now? What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. We will integrate the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". The holistic infomediaries factor is one-to-one. Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Without well-planned networks, compelling C2C are forced to become synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. We will raise our aptitude to drive without lessening our capacity to evolve. Without sufficient mindshare, interfaces are forced to become holistic. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to matrix nano-interactively. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to benchmark vertically. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge partnerships and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our super-ultra-leading-edge, customer-directed e-services but our power to innovate. The aptitude to enhance holistically leads to the capability to e-enable compellingly. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for managing unplanned-for relationships? Without experiences, you will lack portals. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? We will innovate the aptitude of ultra-development to iterate. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be short-term? We will widen our capability to engineer without devaluing our capability to integrate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAD but our ability to harness.