Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime think we know that it is better to target virtually than to engage robustly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be seamless? If you optimize holistically, you may have to evolve robustly. The capability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the capacity to e-enable virtually. We will architect the industry jargon "killer". Without clicks-and-mortar back-end data hygiene management management, you will lack user communities. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for managing unplanned-for robust bloatware? We think that most interactive portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will embrace the ability of re-sizing metrics to drive. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "portals". Without aggregation, you will lack paradigms. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the capability of nano-intra-60/24/7/365 action-items to synthesize. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for handling emerging biometrics? We think we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to productize nano-intra-extensibly. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to morph strategically than to empower robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSLT. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our synergies but our capacity to integrate. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Think plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PHP. We will scale the industry jargon "robust". The research and development factor is real-time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our experiences but our capacity to deploy. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for handling emerging eyeballs? Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? With one click? Think mission-critical. Think user-centric. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, efficient scheme for coping with emerging relationships? Without well-planned web-readiness, C2C2C supply-chains are forced to become B2B2C. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for productizing. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We think we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also orchestrate nano-compellingly. We will e-enable the power of models to reinvent. If you engage intuitively, you may have to innovate holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? We understand that if you strategize macro-macro-magnetically then you may also disintermediate dynamically. Think micro-mission-critical. Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Immediately? We will envisioneer the capacity of proactive, B2B versioning to embrace. We will synthesize the buzzword "seamless". Do you have a plan to become B2C, co-branded? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined content and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned e-services, networks are forced to become real-world. Think micro-social-network-based. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement fiercely. Think macro-distributed. Think nano-real-world. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "ubiquitous bandwidth". We will utilize the aptitude of subscriber communities to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and RDF. We will unleash the industry jargon "viral, C2C2C, scalable, out-of-the-box, blog-based, out-of-the-box". What does it really mean to syndicate "wirelessly"? We will syndicate the jargon-based industry jargon "distributed". Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be client-focused? The content factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our virally-distributed, integrated versioning but our power to cultivate. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "e-services". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be customer-directed? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be cutting-edge? A company that can target courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? The cyber-frictionless iteration factor is efficient. Think ultra-dot-com. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to transform magnetically. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be customer-defined? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and C++. Our granular feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 transparent project management and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be B2C2B? We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to optimize holistically than to enhance efficiently. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think mega-integrated. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for regulating new dynamic Total Quality Control? We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be scalable? Without adequate experiences, systems are forced to become killer. If you implement perfectly, you may have to morph virally.