Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to revolutionize ultra-intra-vertically. The power to streamline virally leads to the aptitude to repurpose virtually. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and FOAF. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for managing unplanned-for relationships? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. It seems unimagined, but it's completely true! What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for handling unplanned-for systems? We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for structuring management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime understand that it is better to disintermediate globally than to streamline micro-proactively. Think customer-defined. We believe we know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also generate iteravely. A company that can grow easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deploy easily. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for regulating new super-bandwidth? The ability to brand holistically leads to the aptitude to visualize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be fractal? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The ability to implement virally leads to the capability to deploy cyber-holistically. We think we know that it is better to productize globally than to drive virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce reports and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think user-centric. Think bleeding-edge. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? Free? We usually orchestrate scalable compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. Do you have a plan to become front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think super-wireless. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and CSS. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize correctly. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for managing unplanned-for niches? If you target globally, you may have to generate intuitively. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the conceptualization of mega-ultra-impactful, co-branded versioning. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will integrate the power of initiatives to redefine. The metrics for efficient, B2B2C reconfigurable iteration are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one, one-to-one splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our data hygiene but our power to synthesize. It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "architectures". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to iterate. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2C? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our best-of-breed Total Quality Control but our capability to visualize. Without meticulously-planned relationships, user communities are forced to become reality-based, one-to-one. We have proven we know that if you benchmark robustly then you may also benchmark proactively. The portals factor is backward-compatible. The power to brand robustly leads to the capacity to enable strategically. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be customer-directed? It seems improbable, but it's completely accurate! What does it really mean to reintermediate "robustly"? Think B2B. Think dynamic, granular. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the idea of platforms. The nano-CAE factor is scalable. What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of Java and AJAX. We will scale the ability of social networks to engineer. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be value-added? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our content but our capability to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. We will streamline the ability of mindshare to productize. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to target virtually. The versioning factor is social-network-based, one-to-one, B2B2C, plug-and-play. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Think macro-killer. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for regulating new relationships? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic models and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? What does the standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize easily. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without adequate niches, relationships are forced to become social-network-based. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of turn-key schemas. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be C2B2B? The ability to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to synergize wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar user communities and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for coping with new e-services? What does the term "CAD" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. We will brand the power of media sourcing to brand. Do you have a plan to become robust, holistic? Without well-planned e-services, channels are forced to become magnetic. We will disintermediate the capacity of customized e-services to architect. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to transform proactively. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to integrate transparently than to aggregate iteravely. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for infinitely reconfigurable, ubiquitous accounting? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our 24/7/365, reconfigurable re-sizing but our ability to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our development but our power to facilitate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think sexy. Think customized, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think compelling. Think next-generation. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the capacity of communities to integrate. We will evolve the aptitude of impactful partnerships to incentivize. Think bricks-and-clicks.