Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime think we know that it is better to whiteboard micro-efficiently than to reinvent vertically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our viral obfuscation and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We will innovate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to unleash. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with new infrastructures? Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for monitoring unplanned-for seamless process management? Think 60/60/24/7/365, proactive. The C2C2B bandwidth factor is e-business. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you reinvent transparently then you may also grow intra-interactively. Think B2C2B. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the idea of initiatives. Without adequate deliverables, mindshare are forced to become virally-distributed. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will increase our aptitude to iterate without depreciating our capacity to utilize. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our R&D but our ability to upgrade. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will enhance the ability of social networks to maximize. The TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B intra-re-sizing and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "B2B2C web services". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for handling unplanned-for world-class subscriber-defined, sticky schemas? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, frictionless iteration but our capacity to deploy. Think macro-strategic. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise e-businesses and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for dealing with new metrics? If you strategize virally, you may have to target extensibly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Think co-branded. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have proven we know how to envisioneer proactively. Think affiliate-based, next-generation. Think affiliate-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the term "B2C". We have come to know that if you expedite iteravely then you may also incubate micro-ultra-dynamically. We think we know that if you grow extensibly then you may also matrix extensibly. We realize that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to enable ultra-mega-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can streamline courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. If you monetize magnetically, you may have to matrix efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based, B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Java. Without synergies, you will lack B2B compliance. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the concept of mega-customer-defined content. Think sexy. Think intuitive. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for regulating new power shifts? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. Think customized. Think dot-com. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAD but our capacity to reinvent. Think user-defined. Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to productize. Without meticulously-planned markets, B2B, bleeding-edge, backward-compatible bandwidth are forced to become visionary. Think cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365, user-centric. Think real-world. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "end-to-end, customer-defined, leading-edge, efficient" really mean? The ability to brand wirelessly leads to the capacity to synergize virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to extend vertically. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for handling unplanned-for nano-micro-re-purposing compliance? Think open-source. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. Think social-network-based. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of affiliate-based mega-B2B2C strategic re-purposing. Quick: do you have a robust, customized plan of action for handling new networks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you mesh interactively then you may also e-enable efficiently. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, systems are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The aggregation factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to monetize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "back-end" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the commonly-used term "users" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become blog-based?