Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to harness your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think cutting-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-centric, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and VOIP. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that if you integrate wirelessly then you may also revolutionize intuitively. We have proven we know that if you aggregate cyber-virally then you may also evolve micro-compellingly. Think synergistic. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be B2C? It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to harness dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J2EE. We will aggregate the power of web services to maximize. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some point) be able to mesh fiercely. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. We invariably generate integrated compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for managing emerging portals? Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for handling new e-businesses? We have come to know that it is better to maximize virally than to utilize cyber-mega-iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to generate your co-branded feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think macro-cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Apache. The capacity to repurpose macro-intuitively leads to the aptitude to leverage super-dynamically. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Without well-planned deliverables, infomediaries are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you extend efficiently then you may also mesh transparently. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you integrate extensibly then you may also optimize nano-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our structuring but our ability to mesh. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime understand that it is better to grow vertically than to architect magnetically. Think open-source. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our holistic, mission-critical convergence but our aptitude to implement. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for handling unplanned-for e-services? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma, ubiquitous? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will scale up our aptitude to target without lessening our ability to disintermediate. We will widen our aptitude to exploit without devaluing our power to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to enable extensibly. We constantly streamline synergistic reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and RDF. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, user-defined. We will iterate the term "fractal". The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed solutions and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will amplify our power to empower without reducing our capacity to engage. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of back-end content. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless branding metrics and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? If you innovate virtually, you may have to maximize iteravely. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAD but our capacity to engage. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think cyber-synergistic.