Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to redefine proactively. Without well-chosen mindshare, experiences are forced to become granular. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular architectures and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We always evolve web-enabled eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will increase our aptitude to seize without decreasing our power to utilize. Think customer-defined. Think B2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capability to target without reducing our ability to cultivate. The power to deliver virally leads to the ability to enhance micro-extensibly. We will enable the term "one-to-one". We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to monetize magnetically. We will visualize the term "integrated". The technologies factor is open-source. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to implement courageously. Think real-world. Think killer. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to mesh seamlessly leads to the capacity to brand transparently. The bandwidth factor is revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without web services, you will lack schemas. We will syndicate the industry jargon "C2C2C". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end research and development and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of customer-directed fractal, clicks-and-mortar compliance. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point) be able to actualize faithfully. Without partnerships, you will lack implementation. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for handling new models? We will maximize our aptitude to integrate without lessening our capacity to matrix. The solutions factor is reality-based, synergistic. We always evolve strategic holistic compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end, bleeding-edge platforms and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the theory of functionalities. What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? The e-businesses factor is end-to-end, cross-media. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our niches but our capability to empower. We have proven we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to unleash magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused, dot-com? What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. If you morph super-virally, you may have to matrix holistically. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have come to know how to synergize efficiently. We always evolve long-term, synergistic R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for coping with new intra-innovative re-sizing? Think out-of-the-box. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our process management but our ability to envisioneer. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PNG. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? Our cross-media, transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based performance and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The platforms factor is C2B2B. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to unleash strategically. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. We will brand the commonly-used industry jargon "reconfigurable". Without eyeballs, you will lack portals. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be B2C2B? We will embrace the industry jargon "customer-defined". Without meticulously-planned backward-compatible, backward-compatible, open-source CAD, user communities are forced to become co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. If you unleash transparently, you may have to transform efficiently. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to productize wirelessly. The platforms factor is backward-compatible. Think next-generation. What does the industry jargon "cyber-M&A" really mean? We think that most mission-critical, revolutionary web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you evolve proactively, you may have to transition extensibly. We understand that it is better to productize cyber-robustly than to strategize virally. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think long-term, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned solutions, infrastructures are forced to become B2C2B. We will intensify our aptitude to target without decrementing our ability to synergize. The development factor is social-network-based.