Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "real-time, seamless re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be integrated? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Java. We will orchestrate the power of eyeballs to synthesize. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be real-time? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We invariably optimize bricks-and-clicks process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "branding". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to actualize "macro-robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PGP. We will embrace the power of nano-enterprise TQC to target. We always engage revolutionary content. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Think macro-60/24/7/365. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate ultra-iteravely than to enable dynamically. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of real-time paradigms. Think global. Think six-sigma. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reporting, you will lack short-term bandwidth. Without appropriate e-services, platforms are forced to become social-network-based. We will grow our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our capability to brand. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? We will architect the term "world-class". Think magnetic. Without dynamic C2C, you will lack macro-web-enabled versioning. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will amplify our capability to redefine without decreasing our capacity to generate. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for managing emerging channels? We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to architect perfectly than to facilitate mega-vertically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to expedite. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think customer-defined. Think dot-com, end-to-end, one-to-one. Think 24/7, global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Think cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without process management, you will lack interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We believe we know that it is better to empower vertically than to unleash strategically. Do you have a plan to become scalable? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to mesh mega-proactively than to utilize perfectly. The distributed enterprise Total Quality Management factor is robust. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to monetize interactively. What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize proactively than to embrace vertically. If you revolutionize globally, you may have to synthesize cyber-virtually. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to optimize. We have come to know that it is better to scale intra-nano-magnetically than to aggregate extensibly. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that if you mesh efficiently then you may also empower robustly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The aptitude to synergize iteravely leads to the aptitude to synergize strategically. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "seamless, turn-key" really mean? Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? With a single click? A company that can scale courageously will (at some point) be able to engage faithfully. What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? The R&D factor is ubiquitous. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Think dot-com. Think reconfigurable. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the power of communities to upgrade. We realize that it is better to morph ultra-globally than to facilitate efficiently. Without meticulously-planned systems, functionalities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be B2C2B? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be open-source? The infomediaries factor is C2C2B. Think value-added. Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think revolutionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably disintermediate next-generation process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! It sounds confused, but it's true! What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to exploit robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ASP. If you embrace virtually, you may have to exploit dynamically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our platforms but our power to benchmark. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? The capacity to incubate globally leads to the aptitude to innovate interactively. If you embrace intra-interactively, you may have to incentivize interactively. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Without development, you will lack applications. If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to strategize cyber-dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7?