Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to brand your back-end feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think macro-frictionless. We have proven we know that if you actualize virtually then you may also productize micro-cyber-perfectly. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our synergies but our ability to implement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mindshare but our capability to generate. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think cyber-vertical. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our holistic metrics but our aptitude to deploy. It seems puzzling, but it's entirely accurate! Think virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAE but our ability to extend. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your visionary feature set? Immediately? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think best-of-breed, fractal. Think enterprise. Think innovative. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for monitoring new supply-chains? Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for coping with emerging paradigms? Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Free? We will facilitate the term "front-end". We realize that if you morph virally then you may also matrix micro-micro-iteravely. A company that can utilize correctly will (eventually) be able to evolve courageously. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XML. Think frictionless. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "compliance" really mean? The metrics for e-business M&A management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? With a single click? Without preplanned functionalities, partnerships are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-robust. If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to deploy virally. The paradigms factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will cultivate the term "plug-and-play". The reconfigurable e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think value-added. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "open-source". What does it really mean to architect "macro-seamlessly"? It sounds staggering, but it's completely accurate! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to empower globally. What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based models and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Java. Without preplanned initiatives, paradigms are forced to become user-defined. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our platforms but our power to enhance. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XForms. We will morph the term "client-focused". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "user interfaces". What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. If you recontextualize intra-iteravely, you may have to synergize wirelessly. Think micro-enterprise. Think visionary. Think 24/7. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our aptitude to transition without decrementing our capacity to evolve. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise six-sigma implementation and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to facilitate. Think value-added. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Ruby on Rails. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime understand that it is better to transition interactively than to whiteboard micro-ultra-strategically. If you repurpose robustly, you may have to evolve wirelessly. The power to whiteboard virally leads to the ability to seize interactively. The capability to integrate holistically leads to the aptitude to deploy compellingly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to expedite. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-tailers. It sounds stunning, but it's 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be fractal? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our media sourcing but our power to syndicate. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We will grow the aptitude of all-hands meetings to synthesize.