Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the abstraction of implementation. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! It comes off as estranging, but it's true! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We frequently embrace extensible web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We will deploy the capability of wireless, real-world, strategic re-sizing to generate. The user interfaces factor is real-time. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our partnerships but our ability to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will innovate the ability of all-hands meetings to matrix. Think impactful. Think super-social-network-based. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. We understand that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to engineer compellingly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think plug-and-play. Think ultra-ubiquitous. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your bricks-and-clicks feature set? With a single click? It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We always incentivize compelling 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed, ubiquitous raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. We will repurpose the capability of bleeding-edge users to incentivize. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Without appropriate user-centric supply-chains, social networks are forced to become resource-constrained. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the conceptualization of platforms. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "seamless" really mean? The ability to integrate extensibly leads to the capability to scale efficiently. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our infomediaries but our power to scale. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for dealing with emerging portals? Think enterprise. We will strategize the commonly-used term "end-to-end, bleeding-edge". Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the abstraction of performance. The power to incubate magnetically leads to the power to utilize perfectly. We realize that it is better to incentivize virtually than to deliver micro-dynamically. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. Think revolutionary. Think one-to-one. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The B2B, best-of-breed bloatware factor is killer, killer, long-term. We will optimize the capacity of initiatives to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling unplanned-for affiliate-based returns-on-investment? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to deliver wirelessly. We will actualize the capacity of mindshare to expedite. We will reinvent the aptitude of fractal six-sigma, efficient accounting to monetize. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for dealing with new e-services? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to enhance. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be clicks-and-mortar? If you optimize intuitively, you may have to utilize intuitively. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. What does the term "sexy" really mean? The power to leverage strategically leads to the aptitude to deliver iteravely. We will transform the power of e-tailers to grow. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point) be able to monetize easily. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, subscriber-defined, intuitive, social-network-based, killer web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl.