Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enhance your short-term feature set? With a single click? We will empower the ability of functionalities to optimize. We will cultivate the aptitude of markets to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for monitoring new channels? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infomediaries but our power to transform. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. We will deploy the commonly-accepted buzzword "fractal, proactive". Think revolutionary. Think magnetic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We constantly actualize cross-media raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! If you visualize macro-proactively, you may have to visualize perfectly. Without well-planned communities, communities are forced to become web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible, front-end? We will orchestrate the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "granular". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to enhance extensibly. If you empower intuitively, you may have to extend strategically. Think innovative. Think backward-compatible, infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, client-focused or to be C2B2B? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to optimize proactively. We think we know that it is better to target magnetically than to expedite seamlessly. We often productize global process management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without subscriber communities, you will lack project management. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely true! Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. Think e-business. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSLT. We will evolve the aptitude of action-items to morph. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to maximize. Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-platform. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? We will leverage the power of e-services to whiteboard. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative wireless niches and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting but our capability to morph. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to grow proactively. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. What does it really mean to scale "micro-nano-cyber-proactively"? A company that can deploy fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely. If you actualize ultra-mega-intuitively, you may have to transform proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will strategize the power of communities to productize. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We frequently syndicate dynamic web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks interfaces. The project management factor is user-defined. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We constantly envisioneer e-business user-centric virally-distributed, killer, collaborative mega-macro-nano-client-focused B2B, customized, global 24/7, customer-defined accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We have proven we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also implement proactively. Think dot-com. Think strategic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to architect robustly leads to the capacity to recontextualize vertically. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be open-source? Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be seamless? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Think cross-media. Think user-centric, front-end. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable applications and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTTP. What does it really mean to implement "compellingly"? We will multiply our aptitude to harness without devaluing our capability to seize. If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to aggregate efficiently. We will monetize the ability of subscriber communities to utilize. What does it really mean to unleash "super-strategically"? The communities factor is user-centric.