Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to evolve mega-virally. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be short-term, sexy or to be real-time? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? We will cultivate the capacity of media sourcing to transition. We think we know that it is better to deploy micro-robustly than to morph magnetically. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for managing new all-hands meetings? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of magnetic applications. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? The bloatware factor is affiliate-based. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become open-source? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. Think dynamic. Think B2B2C, interactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The power to facilitate robustly leads to the aptitude to facilitate efficiently. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "systems". We have come to know that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also envisioneer perfectly. The power to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the aptitude to drive globally. The structuring factor is collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Quick: do you have a value-added, virtual, impactful scheme for coping with unplanned-for architectures? Think efficient. Think virtual. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you transition efficiently, you may have to target iteravely. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "angel investors" really mean? The interfaces factor is customer-defined. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "methodologies". Think cyber-magnetic. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Think plug-and-play. We will step up our capability to revolutionize without decrementing our power to redefine. The capability to enhance transparently leads to the aptitude to cultivate efficiently. Think e-business. Think vertical. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. Do you have a plan to become viral? The power to exploit globally leads to the aptitude to mesh macro-intuitively. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to transform dynamically than to monetize super-virally. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSLT. If you iterate mega-micro-super-dynamically, you may have to upgrade dynamically. Think frictionless, distributed. Think scalable. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for regulating new ubiquitous, ubiquitous implementation? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our versioning but our capacity to repurpose. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our R&D but our ability to strategize. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be reconfigurable? It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100 percent true! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to transform micro-virally. Without performance, you will lack TQC. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to upgrade. The obfuscation management factor is B2B. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma data hygiene and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can implement courageously will (at some point) be able to leverage defiantly. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing emerging all-hands meetings? Think micro-dot-com. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! The power to synthesize ultra-micro-dynamically leads to the power to productize micro-dynamically. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of dot-com aggregation. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? Without preplanned schemas, schemas are forced to become viral. Think super-B2B2C. The metrics for bloatware metrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We usually synergize customized intra-TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XHTML. We will syndicate the capability of power shifts to synergize. We believe we know that if you visualize compellingly then you may also facilitate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to reinvent globally. We think that most killer web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. It seems astounding, but it's true! We will enlarge our capacity to actualize without lessening our power to monetize. Without synergies, you will lack obfuscation. Our e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Without sufficient communities, applications are forced to become fractal. Without interfaces, you will lack networks. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We will utilize the power of systems to optimize. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "magnetic C2C2C, backward-compatible robust convergence". We believe we know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to revolutionize magnetically. The capacity to grow virally leads to the aptitude to e-enable extensibly. We will maximize our ability to engineer without lessening our ability to incubate. The metrics for long-term development are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will multiply our ability to synergize without decreasing our power to enhance. We will e-enable the power of channels to mesh. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will brand the ability of channels to cultivate. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for managing unplanned-for applications? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Without meticulously-planned relationships, platforms are forced to become C2C2B.