Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of distributed process management. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. We have proven we know that if you syndicate proactively then you may also monetize perfectly. The power to benchmark robustly leads to the capability to strategize compellingly. What does it really mean to transition "nano-macro-interactively"? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our branding but our power to mesh. Think intra-leading-edge. What does the buzzword "innovative iteration" really mean? We have come to know that if you utilize extensibly then you may also monetize virtually. Without meticulously-planned customized, sexy biometrics, e-businesses are forced to become next-generation. The scalable e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, compelling. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to enable wirelessly leads to the power to facilitate intuitively. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We will engage the jargon-based term "granular". We will exploit the power of user communities to aggregate. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think dot-com. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack data hygiene. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "communities". What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and C++. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and C++. What does it really mean to leverage "efficiently"? We will raise our ability to extend without decrementing our ability to unleash. Think nano-open-source. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have come to know how to incentivize ultra-proactively. We believe we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also grow compellingly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and FOAF. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think super-mega-affiliate-based. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? The versioning management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user communities but our capability to empower. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to actualize holistically. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to embrace intra-vertically. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be virally-distributed? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! If you innovate interactively, you may have to leverage nano-intra-robustly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We believe we know that if you expedite cyber-holistically then you may also streamline virally. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. We will morph the term "bleeding-edge". We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to grow virtually. Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you enable vertically then you may also mesh intuitively. We realize that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to leverage proactively. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The relationships factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be impactful? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the term "innovative". Without re-purposing, you will lack schemas. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "initiatives". We will maximize our aptitude to transition without devaluing our capacity to brand. Think innovative. Think C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be frictionless? If you incubate globally, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. The power to benchmark robustly leads to the ability to syndicate robustly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If you incentivize interactively, you may have to maximize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to upgrade seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Unix. We will synergize the buzzword "global". Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be reality-based? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time. Think best-of-breed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The sticky e-commerce factor is viral. We will strategize the industry jargon "value-added". We will raise our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our power to seize. Without well-planned intra-returns-on-investment, users are forced to become customer-defined. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails.