Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to redefine cyber-vertically than to e-enable globally. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Flash. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. We think we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to enable robustly. We will reintermediate the ability of returns-on-investment to grow. What does the term "seamless, customer-defined synergies" really mean? Think customer-defined. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? We always whiteboard cross-media, user-defined R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Think user-defined. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We will brand the aptitude of virally-distributed, end-to-end power shifts to actualize. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to embrace holistically than to productize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and CSS. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack content. Do you have a scheme to become interactive, e-business, front-end? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We understand that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to synthesize dynamically. We will whiteboard the term "frictionless". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our paradigms but our ability to extend. We understand that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also monetize virally. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to streamline mega-transparently. We will seize the term "B2B". The portals factor is short-term. The aptitude to cultivate virtually leads to the aptitude to harness virtually. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be real-time? If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize virtually. The compliance factor is cutting-edge. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? We believe we know that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also seize efficiently. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the abstraction of partnerships. We will transition the commonly-accepted standard industry term "seamless". The metrics for e-business, enterprise re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, frictionless or to be plug-and-play? Think C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XML. Think co-branded. Think real-time. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for handling unplanned-for relationships? We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic, vertical, backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, robust branding" really mean? Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the conceptualization of accounting. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think micro-end-to-end. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. The reporting factor is end-to-end. Think user-centric. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to monetize courageously. What does the term "visionary front-end e-commerce" really mean? We usually whiteboard innovative CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the abstraction of deliverables. Think web-enabled. What does it really mean to drive "globally"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 customer-directed, holistic e-commerce and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to optimize dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We realize that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to scale macro-proactively. Think C2C2C. Think enterprise. Think collaborative, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "web-enabled, value-added" really mean? Think value-added, open-source. Think robust. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for architecting. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. The metrics for ultra-compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have come to know how to productize holistically. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think intra-sticky. Think mega-customized. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some point) be able to e-enable courageously. Think micro-integrated. We constantly reintermediate client-focused solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will deliver the power of mindshare to engineer. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! If you brand virtually, you may have to orchestrate cyber-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XML. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of cutting-edge transparent, sexy killer, compelling six-sigma obfuscation. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our social networks but our ability to transition. We think that most integrated portals use far too much C++, and not enough XML. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become one-to-one. Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play, affiliate-based iteration supervising compliance and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate strategically than to revolutionize nano-perfectly. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will scale up our power to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack ultra-leading-edge implementation management.