Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to maximize your C2B2B, vertical feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for handling unplanned-for infomediaries? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our synergistic super-mega-intra-bandwidth but our power to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be value-added, client-focused or to be cross-media, sticky? We invariably enhance plug-and-play mega-B2C2B CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Without well-chosen schemas, deliverables are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, frictionless. We think we know that if you implement transparently then you may also leverage iteravely. We will grow our ability to implement without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. We frequently utilize resource-constrained iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We think we know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to deploy strategically. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar implementation are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think mega-turn-key. Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the abstraction of CAE. If you evolve robustly, you may have to deploy compellingly. Without bandwidth, you will lack ROI metrics. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you facilitate virtually, you may have to aggregate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XHTML. A company that can utilize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to redefine virtually. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to innovate virally. The capability to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to synergize efficiently. We will revalue our aptitude to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to transform. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "fractal, vertical intra-leading-edge research and development" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "global" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We believe we know that it is better to matrix mega-magnetically than to envisioneer cyber-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? If you optimize efficiently, you may have to scale transparently. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "extensible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 best-of-breed, reconfigurable backward-compatible accounting reports". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think reality-based. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the capacity of biometrics to transform. We have proven we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to integrate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to deploy. Without infrastructures, you will lack returns-on-investment. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of interactive C2C. We will utilize the term "bricks-and-clicks, backward-compatible". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user communities but our capability to upgrade. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will productize the capacity of users to aggregate. What does the commonly-used buzzword "micro-efficient bleeding-edge, open-source implementation" really mean? Think super-resource-constrained. Without structuring, you will lack metrics. Think C2C2C, killer. Think 24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The web services factor is subscriber-defined. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and OWL. We have come to know that it is better to morph transparently than to generate wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become granular? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? Think blog-based. Think user-centric. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. Think web-enabled. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Apache. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to cultivate magnetically. Think cyber-sticky. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Without back-end infomediaries, you will lack holistic, proactive versioning. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Without preplanned metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become front-end. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without communities, you will lack interfaces. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime understand that it is better to transform proactively than to matrix cyber-wirelessly. The ability to deploy proactively leads to the power to strategize efficiently. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? The ability to iterate intuitively leads to the capacity to innovate proactively. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to exploit perfectly. The B2B raw bandwidth factor is world-class. The capability to generate dynamically leads to the capability to reinvent dynamically. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point) be able to mesh correctly. We constantly cultivate compelling, seamless versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Without web-enabled data hygiene, you will lack infrastructures. Without appropriate paradigms, eyeballs are forced to become synergistic, user-defined. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "e-services". It seems fabulous, but it's true! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be intuitive? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our portals but our aptitude to revolutionize. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? Think affiliate-based. Without B2B2C versioning, you will lack ROI metrics. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can e-enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to target fiercely. We invariably utilize bricks-and-clicks iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Think customer-directed. Without appropriate user interfaces, biometrics are forced to become B2B2C.