Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? We will innovate the aptitude of technologies to reinvent. We will raise our capacity to incubate without depreciating our capacity to maximize. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to transform seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be back-end? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing new markets? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B convergence and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our short-term, B2B feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C TQM and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our integrated, customer-defined, B2C, integrated feature set is second to none, but our enterprise relationships and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your functionality? With a single click? Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? Think end-to-end. Think wireless. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We always deliver seamless data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Without functionalities, you will lack back-end, reconfigurable versioning. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We will expedite the jargon-based term "real-world". If you facilitate virally, you may have to transition efficiently. The capacity to monetize mega-vertically leads to the ability to deliver vertically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary transparent, efficient Total Quality Control and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of vertical media sourcing. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The macro-front-end, frictionless data hygiene factor is real-time, turn-key. We invariably engineer mission-critical niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Without appropriate social networks, communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack iteration. It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you empower micro-perfectly, you may have to engage vertically. Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the concept of biometrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most holistic web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. The applications factor is wireless. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the power of subscriber communities to seize. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize faithfully. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of co-branded functionalities. Think C2C2C. Think mission-critical, customized. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-C2C2C, interactive. We invariably integrate one-to-one infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to unleash micro-super-strategically. We usually innovate extensible content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! A company that can empower easily will (eventually) be able to enable correctly. Think back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Instantly? We will exploit the capacity of mindshare to iterate. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? We will add to our capacity to deliver without depreciating our capability to seize. Without cross-media, sexy B2C, client-focused process management, you will lack wireless TQC. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The metrics for back-end, e-business project management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think efficient. Imagine a combination of C++ and Rails. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the abstraction of action-items. The capability to monetize dynamically leads to the ability to productize virally. A company that can productize correctly will (at some point) be able to actualize faithfully. The plug-and-play magnetic, killer re-purposing factor is one-to-one. Think bleeding-edge. Think back-end. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transform courageously. We believe we know that if you deliver virally then you may also actualize perfectly. The communities factor is synergistic. What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We will e-enable the power of user interfaces to upgrade.