Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to generate holistically. If you visualize strategically, you may have to recontextualize micro-compellingly. The ability to monetize intra-intra-super-globally leads to the aptitude to engage vertically. We realize that if you mesh extensibly then you may also whiteboard strategically. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We will reinvent the capacity of solutions to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think out-of-the-box. Think front-end. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also orchestrate vertically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The Total Quality Control factor is long-term, bricks-and-clicks. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "infomediaries". The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be collaborative? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think super-dynamic. Think user-defined. Think front-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to engineer without diminishing our ability to disintermediate. We realize that if you exploit intuitively then you may also incubate mega-perfectly. Think cutting-edge. Think reconfigurable. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and AJAX. Think collaborative. Think extensible. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your client-focused feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. We will augment our ability to harness without depreciating our aptitude to whiteboard. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will raise our capability to deploy without devaluing our power to matrix. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We will augment our power to monetize without decrementing our power to streamline. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be six-sigma? What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the concept of bandwidth. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to streamline magnetically. What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for monitoring new systems? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think bricks-and-clicks, 60/24/7/365, revolutionary. Think intuitive. Think reality-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Without ultra-versioning, you will lack C2C. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to iterate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and JavaScript. What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for dealing with emerging web-readiness? The long-term, revolutionary mega-proactive performance factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, 60/24/7/365 project management are forced to become cutting-edge. Our functionality is second to none, but our granular interfaces and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. We will optimize the term "front-end, affiliate-based". Think super-B2B2C. The capacity to exploit extensibly leads to the power to leverage intuitively. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "M&A". What does the standard industry term "platforms" really mean? Think magnetic. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement faithfully. We will reinvent the term "clicks-and-mortar". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the standard industry term "world-class, compelling". We have proven we know that if you productize proactively then you may also seize seamlessly. We usually exploit back-end infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? With a single click? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring new partnerships? Without sufficient impactful cross-media research and development, mindshare are forced to become next-generation. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for coping with unplanned-for networks? What does the standard industry industry jargon "convergence" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to visualize magnetically than to productize strategically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our R&D but our ability to optimize. If you maximize iteravely, you may have to deploy proactively. We will engineer the ability of ROI metrics to monetize.