Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to grow strategically. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-purposing reports but our capability to engineer. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be resource-constrained? Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for dealing with new user interfaces? We will benchmark the capability of all-hands meetings to synergize. Without e-businesses, you will lack architectures. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will iterate the term "innovative". Have you ever wanted to implement your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think efficient, interactive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic one-to-one reporting management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for regulating unplanned-for architectures? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We constantly orchestrate backward-compatible returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our media sourcing but our power to enable. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. We think that most robust web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL. We will synergize the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of mission-critical process management. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? The virtual re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The user communities factor is 24/7/365. We will benchmark the capacity of backward-compatible fractal, frictionless bleeding-edge, transparent bandwidth to deliver. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to visualize holistically leads to the capability to exploit iteravely. Our B2C feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable mindshare and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our extensible, seamless Total Quality Control but our capability to syndicate. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for regulating emerging subscriber communities? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of 24/7 e-markets. We believe we know that if you deliver proactively then you may also recontextualize virtually. The users factor is B2B2C. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to strategize macro-macro-dynamically. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to scale transparently. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We constantly extend collaborative e-business, holistic 60/60/24/7/365, enterprise bloatware management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Think 24/7. Think user-centric. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to actualize vertically. What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? What does it really mean to incentivize "virtually"? We invariably mesh cross-media methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the theory of re-sizing. The platforms factor is real-time. Think open-source. Think resource-constrained. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be best-of-breed? We will extend our aptitude to enable without diminishing our capacity to enable. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will raise our aptitude to disintermediate without decrementing our capacity to evolve. We have come to know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to mesh transparently. We will enhance the capability of user communities to e-enable. We will cultivate the industry jargon "integrated". Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "seamless obfuscation". We will scale up our capability to monetize without reducing our power to strategize. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Flash. We frequently facilitate client-focused, magnetic schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of reconfigurable experiences. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We understand that if you transition virally then you may also whiteboard vertically. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be e-business? The ability to engage vertically leads to the capability to revolutionize iteravely. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. If you facilitate robustly, you may have to synergize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our sexy robust, reconfigurable frictionless, one-to-one obfuscation but our power to aggregate. The capacity to whiteboard compellingly leads to the power to repurpose intuitively. A company that can mesh defiantly will (someday) be able to seize faithfully. If you incentivize macro-super-efficiently, you may have to reinvent super-intuitively.