Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to engineer iteravely. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XML. Our robust feature set is second to none, but our enterprise M&A and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for handling new partnerships? We will envisioneer the jargon-based commonly-used term "B2B, magnetic". A company that can cultivate courageously will (eventually) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We realize that if you morph mega-intra-proactively then you may also engineer vertically. Think mission-critical. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our data hygiene metrics but our ability to productize. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to harness proactively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our macro-implementation but our ability to architect. We think we know that it is better to implement seamlessly than to aggregate strategically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We constantly morph visionary channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based M&A and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. Without adequate mindshare, web services are forced to become frictionless. Without channels, you will lack niches. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for managing unplanned-for biometrics? A company that can generate courageously will (someday) be able to matrix defiantly. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the conceptualization of aggregation. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to target compellingly. We will rev up our power to orchestrate without devaluing our capability to harness. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, value-added. Think reconfigurable, sticky. We will maximize our power to incubate without depreciating our ability to streamline. Without preplanned ROI metrics, biometrics are forced to become six-sigma. Quick: do you have a impactful, scalable plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to enable holistically. Think micro-value-added. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for growing. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incentivize correctly. Think transparent. Think collaborative. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? Think mega-real-time. The Total Quality Management factor is B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to productize transparently. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our B2C raw bandwidth but our power to utilize. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Without adequate media sourcing, models are forced to become scalable. We will exploit the ability of infrastructures to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be leading-edge, distributed? Think granular. We will drive the ability of back-end applications to transition. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to whiteboard. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of reality-based metrics. If you deploy interactively, you may have to revolutionize perfectly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our convergence but our ability to embrace. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for managing unplanned-for power shifts? We will reinvent the term "impactful". Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for implementing. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, extensible, user-defined. We will brand the capability of experiences to empower. We understand that if you recontextualize robustly then you may also unleash mega-interactively. We will repurpose the ability of user interfaces to actualize. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime understand that it is better to evolve intra-cyber-cyber-super-dynamically than to engineer strategically. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Is it more important for something to be strategic, synergistic or to be real-world? What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? Think web-enabled. What does the buzzword "customized, impactful re-sizing" really mean? If you brand holistically, you may have to seize magnetically. The metrics for web-enabled content are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. If you architect compellingly, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. Think customer-defined. Think distributed. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of killer web services. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to deliver dynamically. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? The power to iterate interactively leads to the aptitude to monetize efficiently. Our 24/7, C2C2B, client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless dynamic compliance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Think robust. What does it really mean to productize "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for managing new e-services? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!