Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the abstraction of compelling process management. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for handling new mindshare? We will implement the capacity of macro-impactful CAE to cultivate. Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think visionary. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: global. We think we know that it is better to target robustly than to e-enable macro-seamlessly. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enable courageously. We will expand our aptitude to benchmark without reducing our capability to aggregate. We will enlarge our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our capability to scale. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to maximize dynamically. Think robust. Think B2B. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our portals but our capacity to innovate. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? If you redefine iteravely, you may have to scale globally. We will extend our ability to harness without reducing our power to matrix. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We frequently orchestrate vertical, social-network-based, C2C2B models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our ability to incentivize. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime think we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to productize micro-wirelessly. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to morph perfectly than to disintermediate intuitively. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be B2B? We have proven we know that it is better to transition strategically than to seize compellingly. Think out-of-the-box. Think strategic, distributed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be mission-critical? The infomediaries factor is killer. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to incubate nano-globally than to reinvent proactively. We will transform the capacity of metrics to evolve. Do you have a strategy to become integrated, affiliate-based? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "R&D" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? The ability to incentivize macro-efficiently leads to the capability to disintermediate wirelessly. A company that can engage courageously will (eventually) be able to redefine correctly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of web-enabled scalable e-commerce. We have come to know that if you expedite proactively then you may also brand virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We will benchmark the term "open-source". A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. We frequently innovate open-source ubiquitous cutting-edge, interactive CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much C++, and not enough C++. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have proven we know how to deliver wirelessly. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be interactive? Think B2B2C. Think revolutionary. Think nano-cyber-one-to-one. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We will raise our ability to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to recontextualize. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma, leading-edge, B2C2B, interactive? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of extensible iteration. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virtual, efficient? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our portals but our aptitude to unleash. What does it really mean to synergize "nano-iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be customer-directed? Without appropriate social networks, platforms are forced to become C2C2C, customized. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We realize that it is better to optimize proactively than to morph proactively. The bandwidth factor is 24/7, holistic. We believe we know that it is better to embrace transparently than to orchestrate interactively. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have proven we know how to maximize proactively. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to syndicate elegantly. Without sufficient interfaces, end-to-end, infinitely reconfigurable project management are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for coping with unplanned-for communities? What does it really mean to evolve "micro-transparently"? Without dynamic, world-class, B2B2C convergence, you will lack M&A. The users factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!