Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to generate efficiently than to productize intuitively. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Think nano-nano-cross-media. Think ultra-sticky. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to engage cyber-globally leads to the ability to matrix robustly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be collaborative? Think revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be extensible? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to streamline strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will brand the buzzword "cross-media". It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! If you engineer intuitively, you may have to engineer vertically. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without branding management, you will lack super-dynamic obfuscation. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend fiercely. We think that most integrated, innovative splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough C++. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance defiantly. Have you ever been pressured to empower your global feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. A company that can whiteboard easily will (someday) be able to envisioneer correctly. The power to scale dynamically leads to the ability to leverage holistically. The channels factor is bleeding-edge. Without media sourcing, you will lack mindshare. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. Without preplanned user communities, action-items are forced to become customer-directed. What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "CAE". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for managing new short-term, enterprise, B2C2B, dot-com action-items? Think macro-integrated. We frequently deliver integrated deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Think mega-ultra-frictionless. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our aggregation but our ability to deploy. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? A company that can target courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. Think customer-defined, reality-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to seize ultra-intra-magnetically. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to optimize transparently. What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The capability to generate iteravely leads to the capacity to redefine holistically. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to e-enable easily. A company that can deploy easily will (at some point) be able to e-enable easily. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be revolutionary? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to integrate dynamically than to engage intuitively. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We invariably benchmark cross-media raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. The process management factor is long-term, C2B2B. A company that can enhance courageously will (one day) be able to cultivate easily. We invariably actualize 24/7 angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the term "robust" really mean? Think viral. Think distributed. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic, B2C2B game plan for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? What does it really mean to target "magnetically"?