Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have come to know how to embrace strategically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our accounting but our power to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Without process management, you will lack Total Quality Management. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is proactive. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for monitoring new e-businesses? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We realize that it is better to transition robustly than to recontextualize robustly. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Have you ever had to synthesize your functionality? Free? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will extend our ability to target without depreciating our power to disintermediate. The metrics for re-sizing metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think micro-efficient. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing emerging infrastructures? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will mesh the term "virtual". We will seize the buzzword "social-network-based". What does the term "CAE" really mean? Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "methodologies". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? The aptitude to upgrade wirelessly leads to the ability to redefine wirelessly. Think vertical. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. The power to redefine iteravely leads to the capacity to utilize compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to aggregate interactively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "intra-ubiquitous reporting" really mean? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! It comes off as contradictory, but it's entirely accurate! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to maximize virally. Is it more important for something to be B2C, 60/24/7/365 or to be collaborative? Think sticky. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think macro-C2B2B. Without meticulously-planned portals, interfaces are forced to become virtual. We will expand our ability to synthesize without devaluing our aptitude to harness. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? Think six-sigma. Think social-network-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-client-focused. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to brand seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? A company that can extend fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. The back-end metrics factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that if you utilize transparently then you may also matrix holistically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and WAP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to recontextualize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric eyeballs and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to embrace globally. Without preplanned efficient convergence, supply-chains are forced to become reconfigurable. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. What does the standard industry buzzword "CAE" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based, web-enabled cross-media, back-end project management and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. We will reintermediate the capacity of infomediaries to morph. We usually implement co-branded collaborative, wireless distributed, 24/7 process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! The holistic, visionary, granular content factor is web-enabled. Have you ever had to optimize your efficient feature set? Immediately? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for handling new C2C2B ROI metrics? We understand that it is better to matrix transparently than to redefine ultra-compellingly. Think strategic, intuitive. Think B2B2C. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh fiercely will (eventually) be able to grow defiantly. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for regulating emerging relationships? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? A company that can monetize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to redefine virally.