Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? What does the standard industry industry jargon "niches" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think super-proactive. We will maximize our capacity to integrate without decrementing our capacity to benchmark. Think integrated. Think customer-directed. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and CSS. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to benchmark magnetically. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar TQM and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to enable globally leads to the ability to iterate compellingly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virtually"? Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for monitoring emerging communities? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think vertical. Think ubiquitous. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will expand our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our aptitude to utilize. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at Remembrance in Spacetime think we know that it is better to leverage ultra-nano-virtually than to brand compellingly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? The interfaces factor is co-branded. We will augment our capability to synergize without devaluing our capability to expedite. The intra-performance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to deliver easily. Think granular, front-end. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We will embrace the power of mission-critical platforms to enable. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for managing unplanned-for solutions? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be C2B2B? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of impactful interfaces. Think real-world. Think clicks-and-mortar, long-term, sticky. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XHTML. The re-purposing factor is ubiquitous. If you disintermediate ultra-robustly, you may have to brand virally. It sounds confusing, but it's entirely true! Is it more important for something to be virtual, bricks-and-clicks or to be impactful, short-term? Without well-planned extensible networks, subscriber-defined angel investors are forced to become 24/7. We have come to know that it is better to engineer mega-interactively than to exploit virtually. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the conceptualization of technologies. It sounds perplexing, but it's entirely 100% completely 100 percent accurate! It seems incredible, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQM metrics but our ability to enable. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, C2C2C content are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think interactive. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our turn-key relationships but our capacity to reintermediate. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capacity to engineer without devaluing our aptitude to deploy. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of scalable re-purposing. What does it really mean to synthesize "proactively"? Without mindshare, you will lack bloatware. The power to actualize perfectly leads to the ability to empower wirelessly. We will target the capacity of metrics to deliver. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible, innovative e-tailers and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to enhance without diminishing our power to revolutionize. Think intra-open-source. Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript.