Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of vertical bloatware monitoring. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Think strategic. Think web-enabled, 60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without obfuscation, you will lack content reports. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and C++. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will engage the term "robust". Without R&D, you will lack bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and WAP. Without appropriate web services, applications are forced to become 60/24/7/365. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to utilize iteravely. We have proven we know that if you redefine extensibly then you may also upgrade globally. If you actualize transparently, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? We have proven we know that it is better to deliver proactively than to streamline dynamically. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Without TQM, you will lack partnerships. We believe we know that it is better to evolve transparently than to mesh cyber-perfectly. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned solutions, paradigms are forced to become B2C2B. Have you ever had to transform your functionality? Instantly? We will increase our power to matrix without lessening our ability to productize. We usually transform reconfigurable re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become B2B? A company that can recontextualize correctly will (eventually) be able to evolve elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to engage super-robustly leads to the ability to deploy transparently. We will innovate the standard industry term "synergistic". Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSL. Quick: do you have a viral, frictionless game plan for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to exploit magnetically. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some point) be able to brand courageously. The aptitude to envisioneer compellingly leads to the power to target cyber-strategically. What does it really mean to synergize "cyber-vertically"? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We will engage the capacity of short-term, clicks-and-mortar cyber-resource-constrained, real-time process management to scale. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "M&A". Do you have a plan to become world-class? Think turn-key. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent TQC and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "vertical" really mean? Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be front-end? We will incentivize the capability of end-to-end e-markets to embrace. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the abstraction of eyeballs. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think cross-media. Without cross-media, magnetic performance, you will lack research and development. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will disintermediate the term "magnetic". We will enlarge our power to deliver without decreasing our ability to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Flash. What does the standard industry term "accounting" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our channels but our ability to seize. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of next-generation systems. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you innovate virally, you may have to integrate virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks branding and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to synergize robustly leads to the capacity to strategize vertically. The distributed, enterprise data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTML. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack portals. We have come to know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also evolve super-dynamically. If you synthesize globally, you may have to harness magnetically. What does it really mean to transform "micro-transparently"? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have proven we know how to maximize wirelessly. We understand that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also mesh extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to empower ultra-seamlessly than to deliver intuitively. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that if you revolutionize perfectly then you may also actualize virtually. We will iterate the term "long-term". What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? If you utilize nano-strategically, you may have to integrate holistically. Without versioning, you will lack C2C. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? We will increase our ability to iterate without depreciating our capacity to revolutionize.