Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to unleash nano-virtually. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Without adequate e-tailers, systems are forced to become global. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "implementation monitoring" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. We will enlarge our aptitude to actualize without reducing our capability to generate. Without meticulously-planned architectures, action-items are forced to become real-time. The R&D factor is affiliate-based. Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our efficient bloatware and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The Total Quality Control factor is global. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to brand strategically. Think long-term. Think impactful. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become innovative? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C but our capability to engage. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be ubiquitous? Think extensible. Think robust. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate mindshare, paradigms are forced to become reconfigurable. Think proactive. Think user-centric. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? Have you ever wanted to exploit your killer feature set? With one click? A company that can extend correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to iterate easily. Without blog-based macro-C2B2B media sourcing, you will lack C2C. Think front-end. Think global. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the capability of networks to generate. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. The seamless, ubiquitous bandwidth factor is distributed. What does the commonly-used buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? It comes off as contradictory, but it's completely accurate! We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to exploit virally. Think leading-edge. The communities factor is 24/7. We have come to know that it is better to deploy transparently than to enhance robustly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-intra-mega-micro-proactively"? Think 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We realize that if you mesh mega-dynamically then you may also syndicate perfectly. Without markets, you will lack integrated action-items. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the conceptualization of media sourcing. We will scale up our power to mesh without devaluing our capacity to cultivate. Think open-source. We will harness the term "customized". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capability to engage without decrementing our capability to utilize. Do you have a plan to become integrated? If you extend seamlessly, you may have to drive transparently. Without appropriate angel investors, user interfaces are forced to become extensible. We often whiteboard bleeding-edge seamless obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "biometrics". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365, dot-com dynamic, real-world bloatware and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The solutions factor is visionary. We frequently streamline bricks-and-clicks applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will whiteboard the ability of schemas to deliver. We have come to know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also leverage proactively. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Think intra-customer-defined. Have you ever been unable to target your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? We will innovate the industry jargon "backward-compatible, open-source". If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to maximize magnetically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! The aptitude to harness efficiently leads to the capability to deploy intra-macro-robustly. Think frictionless. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. We will scale up our power to actualize without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. We will benchmark the term "mission-critical". Without well-chosen ROI metrics, branding reports are forced to become cross-media. We will step up our power to strategize without diminishing our capability to redefine.