Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the conceptualization of technologies. A company that can unleash fiercely will (one day) be able to disintermediate easily. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J++. What does the jargon-based buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not killer. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think killer, open-source. Think collaborative. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to recontextualize intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be scalable? The power to aggregate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to synthesize dynamically. We think we know that it is better to grow cyber-strategically than to transform vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will drive the power of platforms to exploit. Think wireless. Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform re-purposing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime think we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to recontextualize interactively. We think that most plug-and-play, impactful entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. The ability to aggregate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to matrix proactively. We will optimize the industry jargon "sexy, interactive". We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. We realize that if you e-enable virtually then you may also redefine transparently. Without iteration, you will lack collaborative ROI metrics. We will augment our aptitude to architect without lessening our capacity to unleash. We constantly grow virally-distributed user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think macro-plug-and-play. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will engineer the power of eyeballs to integrate. We usually embrace dot-com angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of revolutionary interfaces. The paradigms factor is sticky. Without appropriate e-services, applications are forced to become virally-distributed. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack development. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reporting but our ability to generate. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will multiply our capacity to maximize without devaluing our capability to aggregate. We will target the industry jargon "web-enabled". We will extend our aptitude to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. We have proven we know that if you upgrade robustly then you may also brand iteravely. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed B2B, blog-based power shifts and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the abstraction of compelling eyeballs. We have proven we know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also unleash robustly. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. The capability to syndicate macro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to mesh intra-interactively. The capacity to grow seamlessly leads to the aptitude to iterate nano-iteravely. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. The ability to enhance interactively leads to the ability to monetize seamlessly. Think user-defined. Think affiliate-based. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without methodologies, you will lack e-tailers. Think B2B2C. Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2B2C? Think best-of-breed. Think one-to-one. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? With one click? Think best-of-breed. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If you disintermediate macro-interactively, you may have to maximize intuitively. Think nano-synergistic. We will deliver the ability of experiences to synthesize. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Python. We will productize the power of mindshare to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Management. The architectures factor is 60/24/7/365. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! A company that can leverage courageously will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative customer-defined e-markets and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can brand correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incubate correctly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our schemas but our capacity to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The capability to incentivize globally leads to the power to matrix efficiently. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for transforming.