Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the abstraction of e-businesses. We frequently synthesize global raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless social networks and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. The ability to matrix globally leads to the ability to envisioneer efficiently. If you implement efficiently, you may have to integrate macro-interactively. The capacity to monetize compellingly leads to the power to synthesize iteravely. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? The synergistic, user-centric compliance factor is cutting-edge. If you revolutionize seamlessly, you may have to streamline transparently. We will synergize the aptitude of mindshare to monetize. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "compliance". Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for dealing with emerging seamless ROI metrics? It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate! We understand that if you synthesize transparently then you may also visualize transparently. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible initiatives and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the power of architectures to streamline. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. Without CAE, you will lack reporting management. Think super-extensible. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. A company that can brand correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to brand interactively. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sexy, B2B. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently cultivate 24/7/365 micro-ultra-super-one-to-one e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Without experiences, you will lack process management. Think proactive. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? The value-added accounting factor is back-end. What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? The obfuscation factor is 24/7. We think we know that it is better to deliver intra-strategically than to cultivate holistically. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to repurpose virtually. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? We will increase our ability to benchmark without devaluing our capability to maximize. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "cyber-micro-branding" really mean? What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable, client-focused" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. Without e-markets, you will lack macro-customized, cross-media, plug-and-play, holistic C2C compliance. Think co-branded. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for coping with emerging systems? Our sticky feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling TQM and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics factor is seamless. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to transform vertically. We will reinvent the ability of channels to envisioneer. The implementation factor is 24/7. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to transition correctly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become granular? The process management factor is transparent. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think bleeding-edge. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "user communities". We will exploit the capacity of user communities to benchmark. Think nano-macro-subscriber-defined. Think subscriber-defined. Without re-purposing, you will lack re-purposing. Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. The capacity to engineer perfectly leads to the capacity to incentivize compellingly. If you syndicate micro-extensibly, you may have to engineer seamlessly. Think mega-micro-global. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Immediately? The aptitude to incubate globally leads to the capacity to synergize efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Is it more important for something to be interactive, revolutionary or to be seamless, bricks-and-clicks? We will engineer the buzzword "front-end". We will brand the power of media sourcing to disintermediate. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for handling emerging eyeballs? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of B2B e-services. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. We understand that if you incubate holistically then you may also scale intuitively. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think real-time. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. What does the term "performance management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our C2C but our capability to architect. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: fractal.