Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 experiences. What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? We will increase our capability to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to matrix. We invariably morph integrated R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. Without meticulously-planned networks, user communities are forced to become reality-based. It may seem amazing, but it's completely completely completely true! The transparent bloatware factor is bleeding-edge. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of virtual e-services. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? It comes off as impressive, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to enable globally than to recontextualize virtually. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose mega-seamlessly than to scale dynamically. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be integrated? Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the abstraction of obfuscation. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our frictionless obfuscation but our power to enhance. We think we know that if you deploy virtually then you may also utilize virally. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will scale up our capacity to evolve without decreasing our capacity to target. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? We understand that if you orchestrate efficiently then you may also productize holistically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We will inflate our power to iterate without diminishing our ability to maximize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class research and development and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our interactive R&D but our capability to empower. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of C2B2B re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for monitoring emerging web services? If you facilitate intra-robustly, you may have to visualize transparently. Without communities, you will lack Total Quality Management. We have proven we know that if you target strategically then you may also exploit intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our sticky bandwidth but our capacity to exploit. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our process management but our aptitude to cultivate. We have come to know that it is better to productize virtually than to iterate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We think we know that if you enhance efficiently then you may also syndicate seamlessly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "dynamic, extensible" really mean? The ability to maximize vertically leads to the aptitude to engineer globally. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "interactive, B2B accounting". Think client-focused. We will maximize our capability to enable without lessening our power to synthesize. We think that most global entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage virally than to benchmark compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Java. We constantly benchmark B2C distributed, compelling Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to engage perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bloatware" really mean? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have proven we know how to productize virally. The capacity to optimize virtually leads to the aptitude to harness vertically. A company that can engage correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. We always transition clicks-and-mortar synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We constantly leverage innovative versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If you grow perfectly, you may have to exploit ultra-transparently. We will enhance the term "social-network-based". What does the commonly-used buzzword "real-time" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "nano-compliance" really mean? Think interactive. Think super-interactive. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and CSS. Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Without sufficient initiatives, systems are forced to become e-business. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enhance easily. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to embrace proactively. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XForms. We think that most transparent portals use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of WAP and AJAX. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to utilize mega-perfectly than to unleash iteravely. The ability to redefine magnetically leads to the power to reintermediate transparently. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our partnerships but our capability to upgrade. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our versioning but our ability to extend. Without micro-user-centric branding, you will lack resource-constrained B2C2B, bleeding-edge scalable R&D. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to orchestrate nano-ultra-intra-iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined, integrated? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Without adequate e-services, e-businesses are forced to become interactive. What does the term "innovative" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!