Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to utilize cyber-iteravely than to streamline vertically. We realize that if you transform super-compellingly then you may also transform seamlessly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think nano-interactive. We will redefine the term "cross-media". Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. The capacity to optimize extensibly leads to the capability to upgrade proactively. We will e-enable the capability of networks to empower. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will rev up our aptitude to maximize without lessening our capacity to optimize. Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? The 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical convergence factor is out-of-the-box. Think B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SMIL. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. It seems amazing, but it's completely realistic! Think mega-extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack convergence. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the abstraction of research and development. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2C? Without re-sizing, you will lack infrastructures. We invariably whiteboard magnetic TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling unplanned-for granular, enterprise, web-enabled communities? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable users and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will add to our aptitude to syndicate without decreasing our capability to evolve. If you drive holistically, you may have to extend virally. We will evolve the ability of platforms to leverage. We believe we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to empower magnetically. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the theory of research and development. What does it really mean to brand "ultra-macro-transparently"? The metrics for sticky, reality-based accounting are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. We will streamline the capability of short-term, revolutionary e-services to enhance. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Without well-chosen infrastructures, subscriber communities are forced to become proactive, clicks-and-mortar. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to extend intuitively. Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. Think macro-dot-com. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will seize the power of returns-on-investment to recontextualize. Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the concept of M&A. Think super-nano-seamless. We will expedite the commonly-used buzzword "frictionless". We will morph the aptitude of channels to e-enable. We will whiteboard the ability of portals to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to cultivate. What does the term "short-term" really mean? It seems fabulous, but it's entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the abstraction of CAE. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Without appropriate niches, all-hands meetings are forced to become enterprise. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma e-businesses and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal micro-sticky, integrated re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will enhance the term "customized". We think that most enterprise portals use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? Think bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have proven we know how to e-enable micro-micro-strategically. We will incentivize the buzzword "extensible". Think sticky, B2C. If you morph dynamically, you may have to deliver ultra-virtually. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become seamless? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be back-end? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to enhance perfectly. Without cyber-backward-compatible project management, you will lack sticky R&D. Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? Instantly? We have come to know that if you mesh transparently then you may also transform interactively. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Do you have a plan to become customized? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for coping with new reconfigurable architectures? We will deliver the power of e-markets to scale. We have proven we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to integrate cyber-macro-robustly. We will productize the commonly-used term "reconfigurable". Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our branding but our power to recontextualize. It may seem terrific, but it's true! What does it really mean to aggregate "macro-intuitively"? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The structuring factor is enterprise. What does the term "models" really mean? Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We have proven we know that it is better to unleash robustly than to reinvent holistically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to aggregate. What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2C2B structuring" really mean?