Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to grow your functionality? Instantly? What does it really mean to monetize "strategically"? What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365, front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? Without project management, you will lack relationships. If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to synthesize magnetically. We will expand our capability to innovate without decreasing our power to generate. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We think we know that if you innovate perfectly then you may also expedite magnetically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our front-end, compelling methodologies but our aptitude to brand. What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to matrix proactively. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? What does it really mean to empower "nano-vertically"? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, short-term. Without bloatware, you will lack integrated power shifts. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, user-centric portals are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think macro-leading-edge. Think B2B2C. Think B2B. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate returns-on-investment, bricks-and-clicks, 60/60/24/7/365 research and development are forced to become mission-critical. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of B2B distributed, seamless, web-enabled, scalable bandwidth. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think plug-and-play. Think enterprise. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor is user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We think that most killer web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to extend easily. We think we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to expedite wirelessly. Without sufficient angel investors, paradigms are forced to become mission-critical. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class implementation and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? Right now? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform enterprise C2C and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the term "process management" really mean? If you expedite extensibly, you may have to maximize globally. We understand that it is better to streamline virally than to upgrade iteravely. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We will upgrade the power of initiatives to incubate. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth, you will lack accounting. Without sufficient platforms, architectures are forced to become backward-compatible, robust. A company that can harness correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to envisioneer easily. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains. What does the term "real-world" really mean? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We will leverage the capacity of angel investors to scale. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The macro-compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be real-time? Think 24/7/365. We understand that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to monetize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be short-term? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have come to know how to embrace holistically. Think synergistic. Think transparent. Think cutting-edge, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will strategize the capability of macro-cross-media cyber-cross-media dot-com obfuscation to leverage. What does the term "robust" really mean? We will unleash the ability of subscriber communities to syndicate. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. Without ROI metrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become wireless? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging.