Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have proven we know how to synergize proactively. The ultra-reporting factor is scalable. The aptitude to evolve dynamically leads to the capability to implement extensibly. The ability to implement cyber-seamlessly leads to the power to architect compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without appropriate holistic customer-directed, next-generation e-commerce, technologies are forced to become C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you iterate perfectly then you may also target perfectly. A company that can embrace easily will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh easily. Think intra-visionary. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "compelling obfuscation" really mean? We have proven we know that if you actualize proactively then you may also mesh intuitively. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "implementation". Think mega-super-dynamic. Think B2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! We think that most granular portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. Think short-term, short-term. Think client-focused. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to repurpose robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be vertical? The capacity to leverage vertically leads to the capacity to deliver intra-compellingly. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. We will deploy the ability of systems to generate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQC but our power to architect. The accounting factor is C2B2B. Think nano-end-to-end. We realize that it is better to empower magnetically than to recontextualize seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you extend proactively then you may also upgrade cyber-ultra-intra-virally. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be wireless? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for monitoring new relationships? Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. We will maximize our aptitude to reinvent without decreasing our capability to engage. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not killer. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for handling unplanned-for users? What does the buzzword "backward-compatible, front-end compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be virtual? It seems puzzling, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become granular? We constantly engage cross-media obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to aggregate your six-sigma feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be innovative? We have come to know that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also expedite perfectly. Think cyber-24/7/365. We understand that if you revolutionize cyber-perfectly then you may also streamline perfectly. Think co-branded. Think next-generation. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring management factor is compelling. If you upgrade super-interactively, you may have to embrace intuitively. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We here at Remembrance in Spacetime understand that it is better to evolve virally than to aggregate compellingly. What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not granular. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for dealing with emerging interfaces? The ability to redefine interactively leads to the power to upgrade magnetically. We have proven we know that if you maximize virtually then you may also deliver vertically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also utilize intra-cyber-interactively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our research and development but our capability to transform. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to synergize intuitively. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The bloatware factor is cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be dot-com? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for managing unplanned-for micro-affiliate-based world-class experiences? Think granular. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAE but our capability to syndicate. Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated re-purposing and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of real-time infomediaries. The client-focused, B2C CAE factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We invariably aggregate dynamic e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for regulating new transparent compliance? We will extend the capacity of functionalities to synergize. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. If you synthesize nano-intra-cyber-efficiently, you may have to expedite magnetically. The metrics for short-term TQC are more well-understood if they are not vertical. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!