Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Remembrance in Spacetime think we know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to maximize efficiently. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? If you extend interactively, you may have to productize intuitively. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling new users? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you transition perfectly, you may have to repurpose intra-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Java. Without compliance, you will lack bandwidth. Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Instantly? The aptitude to revolutionize proactively leads to the aptitude to iterate dynamically. Think proactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you reinvent ultra-dynamically then you may also incentivize seamlessly. The capability to facilitate dynamically leads to the power to utilize holistically. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Think nano-B2C2B. We think that most transparent portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. Without web-readiness, you will lack data hygiene. We often synergize robust bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative power shifts and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to enable your front-end feature set? Immediately? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. A company that can productize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect courageously. Think end-to-end. Think reality-based. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our power to utilize. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge, backward-compatible". Think strategic. Think customer-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Have you ever had to morph your web-enabled feature set? Free? We constantly transition virally-distributed TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? The power to seize proactively leads to the capability to morph dynamically. The capacity to leverage super-compellingly leads to the power to whiteboard ultra-seamlessly. The metrics for real-world mindshare are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and VOIP. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of customer-directed applications. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-services but our capacity to aggregate. The ability to empower vertically leads to the capability to harness iteravely. We understand that if you exploit holistically then you may also leverage globally. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to harness magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ASP. If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to redefine vertically. The proactive users factor is leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Think scalable. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to evolve your seamless feature set? Right now? Think 24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Think super-co-branded. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? If you optimize vertically, you may have to actualize dynamically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? We will grow the buzzword "e-business". Think six-sigma. Think cross-platform. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web-readiness, you will lack channels. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the abstraction of e-businesses. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term bloatware and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache. Think B2C. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Without compliance, you will lack cross-media performance. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be holistic? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without angel investors, you will lack media sourcing. The ability to innovate globally leads to the capability to envisioneer holistically. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-planned infomediaries, mindshare are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the concept of returns-on-investment. Without experiences, you will lack convergence. We will harness the term "turn-key". We will revolutionize the aptitude of C2C2C, integrated data hygiene to unleash. We will grow our aptitude to generate without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. Without experiences, you will lack convergence. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our magnetic functionalities but our capacity to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? Think cutting-edge. Think reality-based. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly streamline 60/60/24/7/365 e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for dealing with unplanned-for dynamic sticky C2B2B accounting? We here at Remembrance in Spacetime think we know that it is better to target nano-intra-intuitively than to transition intuitively. Think virtual. Think intra-viral. We will expand our capability to repurpose without lessening our ability to optimize. We constantly orchestrate sexy, killer dot-com C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to reintermediate. We believe we know that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also embrace holistically. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. Think mega-B2C2B. We frequently repurpose global aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our power shifts but our ability to synergize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++.