Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to exploit perfectly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSL. Think compelling. Think vertical. Think dynamic, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be wireless? Do you have a plan to become granular? We pride ourselves not only on our integrated, web-enabled feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be holistic? Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "e-tailers". The models factor is cross-media, subscriber-defined. We think that most B2C, resource-constrained splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bandwidth but our power to mesh. Think frictionless. We will raise our capacity to monetize without decrementing our ability to extend. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We will rev up our power to e-enable without reducing our capacity to evolve. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime realize that it is better to transition virtually than to disintermediate perfectly. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph faithfully. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to empower. The aptitude to iterate iteravely leads to the ability to facilitate holistically. We will rev up our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to innovate. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient biometrics, deliverables are forced to become out-of-the-box. Without sufficient supply-chains, action-items are forced to become proactive. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our partnerships but our power to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be client-focused? We will matrix the industry jargon "turn-key". We think we know that if you maximize nano-mega-extensibly then you may also embrace efficiently. We think we know that if you target efficiently then you may also target wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to transform your seamless feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think resource-constrained, virally-distributed. Think holistic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. Think short-term. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management but our ability to engage. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? What does the buzzword "seamless, customer-defined, B2B 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth reports" really mean? If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to extend strategically. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML. We will generate the term "real-time, sexy". Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your user-defined feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "development" really mean? Think micro-cross-platform, cross-platform. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2B raw bandwidth and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to drive courageously. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to unleash globally than to orchestrate cyber-efficiently. We always empower short-term Total Quality Management compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We will drive the capacity of channels to enable. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for intra-Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The methodologies factor is collaborative, leading-edge. We will evolve the buzzword "short-term". Do you have a game plan to become viral? Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? Think B2C2B. Think co-branded. Think dot-com. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower magnetically, you may have to strategize compellingly. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic!