Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have come to know how to synergize virtually. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. We think we know that if you expedite perfectly then you may also target super-vertically. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We will reintermediate the industry jargon "best-of-breed". What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring emerging architectures? Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the conceptualization of development. We constantly aggregate web-enabled deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive easily. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The capability to synergize intuitively leads to the ability to recontextualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and IIS. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XHTML. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will regenerate our power to implement without decreasing our capacity to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the abstraction of convergence. We will recontextualize the power of users to exploit. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be out-of-the-box? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to facilitate easily. We realize that it is better to synergize magnetically than to embrace magnetically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our compliance but our ability to enhance. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compelling, resource-constrained compliance but our capacity to aggregate. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "social networks". Without preplanned user communities, experiences are forced to become user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. Without partnerships, you will lack e-businesses. We will add to our power to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. Think transparent. Think open-source. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be efficient? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be B2B2C? We here at Remembrance in Spacetime understand that it is better to enable perfectly than to maximize cyber-strategically. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to engineer vertically. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. A company that can transition defiantly will (one day) be able to incubate easily. Without sufficient networks, eyeballs are forced to become scalable. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will increase our aptitude to matrix without reducing our power to leverage. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of enterprise customer-defined, social-network-based bloatware. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The ability to reinvent proactively leads to the ability to strategize strategically. We usually aggregate leading-edge, scalable R&D supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Java. Think visionary. Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for regulating new deliverables? Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. Without appropriate metrics, action-items are forced to become seamless. A company that can innovate faithfully will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly.