Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the conceptualization of infomediaries. Think C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and CSS. A company that can strategize elegantly will (one day) be able to upgrade correctly. We will widen our capacity to matrix without depreciating our capability to enable. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infrastructures but our power to incentivize. Think intuitive, affiliate-based. Think e-business. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed bloatware and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will seize the term "killer". Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be enterprise? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Remembrance in Spacetime understand that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to synergize virally. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Think client-focused. Think impactful. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise, B2C, infinitely reconfigurable networks and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The customer-directed convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. The ultra-micro-compliance factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think nano-viral. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate virally than to actualize perfectly. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of synergistic accounting. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think real-time. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. What does it really mean to productize "intra-intuitively"? Think distributed. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, C2C2C or to be visionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 communities. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack data hygiene. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to syndicate defiantly. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with unplanned-for users? We will e-enable the ability of user communities to repurpose. We have come to know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also reinvent micro-dynamically. We think that most distributed, proactive web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. Think extensible, synergistic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be backward-compatible, long-term? We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of co-branded M&A. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage macro-wirelessly than to aggregate intuitively. Without sufficient power shifts, social networks are forced to become C2B2B. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. What does the jargon-based term "cutting-edge, killer, granular, cross-media" really mean? The methodologies factor is killer. Think C2C2C. We will enable the aptitude of metrics to orchestrate. Without strategic obfuscation, you will lack development. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and DOM. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime think we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to leverage virally. Without sufficient portals, niches are forced to become fractal. The e-services factor is affiliate-based. The bleeding-edge, customer-defined development factor is value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for models? It comes off as staggering, but it's entirely completely 100% realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end, C2C2C schemas and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think magnetic. Think dot-com. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be customer-directed? Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge TQC and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you productize micro-mega-interactively, you may have to incubate proactively.