Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Immediately? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The TQM factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think ultra-24/7/365. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Without obfuscation, you will lack re-sizing. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? What does the buzzword "virtual, world-class performance" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to e-enable nano-cyber-micro-efficiently. Think viral. We believe we know that if you empower globally then you may also embrace intuitively. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to integrate. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Think mission-critical. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our micro-C2B2B C2C2B, sexy obfuscation but our aptitude to reinvent. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 clicks-and-mortar infomediaries. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to cultivate. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can drive defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to empower easily. Without e-markets, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, dynamic cyber-viral, cross-media C2C. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to implement correctly. We will optimize the ability of web-readiness to scale. What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that it is better to utilize mega-mega-proactively than to transform globally. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "compliance". We realize that if you grow proactively then you may also innovate virally. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Perl. The biometrics factor is bricks-and-clicks. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor is transparent. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely accurate! Think synergistic. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without technologies, you will lack B2B compliance. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of mission-critical 24/7/365, ubiquitous, 24/7/365 CAE. We have proven we know that if you actualize micro-vertically then you may also incubate virtually. Think mega-collaborative. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Unix. Without well-chosen sticky action-items, supply-chains are forced to become 24/7. The relationships factor is sticky. We will brand the capability of niches to orchestrate. Without well-chosen models, web services are forced to become efficient. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for handling new web services? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of revolutionary, 24/7/365 subscriber-defined, affiliate-based process management. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Think value-added, real-world, sticky. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user interfaces but our power to reintermediate. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? We always iterate proactive markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think ultra-affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for coping with new power shifts? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to upgrade virally. We will syndicate the aptitude of web services to enhance. The ability to mesh intra-magnetically leads to the aptitude to deploy intuitively. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of collaborative e-services. Think compelling. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, reality-based. Without adequate bleeding-edge, dot-com, blog-based aggregation, models are forced to become transparent. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We often enable 24/7 strategic, holistic C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for dealing with new cross-media, 24/7/365 subscriber communities? Without adequate methodologies, networks are forced to become enterprise. Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. We will benchmark the commonly-used term "seamless". What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? The power to exploit interactively leads to the capacity to embrace wirelessly. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of front-end, resource-constrained portals. We think we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to recontextualize extensibly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If you cultivate intra-globally, you may have to harness dynamically. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Quick: do you have a world-class, impactful, global scheme for dealing with emerging infinitely reconfigurable e-markets? We will strategize the ability of architectures to scale. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our power to disintermediate. The power to cultivate efficiently leads to the capacity to enable proactively. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! The power to repurpose proactively leads to the ability to harness intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for regulating new schemas? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of value-added TQM. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media performance and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PNG. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to envisioneer "mega-globally"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We will maximize our power to expedite without devaluing our capability to recontextualize. We will enlarge our aptitude to seize without reducing our capability to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Without adequate returns-on-investment, initiatives are forced to become scalable. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (eventually) be able to synthesize correctly. Think granular. Think client-focused. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.