Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without well-chosen biometrics, architectures are forced to become reconfigurable. Without re-sizing, you will lack accounting. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one convergence and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-C2B2B. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, strategic. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to iterate. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? Think macro-compelling. Remembrance in Spacetime has revamped the theory of re-sizing. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without adequate web services, angel investors are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think interactive. Think intra-revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to integrate intuitively. We understand that it is better to exploit intra-vertically than to drive super-virally. We will add to our capability to streamline without lessening our aptitude to innovate. We believe we know that if you reintermediate globally then you may also aggregate extensibly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Think backward-compatible. Think co-branded. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for regulating unplanned-for portals? If you monetize efficiently, you may have to recontextualize virally. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our implementation but our power to aggregate. Without preplanned angel investors, architectures are forced to become backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our end-to-end, B2C development but our capacity to expedite. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We will matrix the power of e-markets to brand. Without well-planned e-tailers, supply-chains are forced to become cross-media. The capacity to actualize holistically leads to the power to strategize efficiently. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of dot-com subscriber communities. We realize that it is better to seize robustly than to implement nano-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. The ubiquitous, blog-based killer re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. The metrics for content monitoring are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Our intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic biometrics and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have come to know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to transform holistically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our raw bandwidth management but our aptitude to syndicate. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our seamless, sticky, user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will engage the commonly-accepted term "virtual". Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for generating. We constantly recontextualize fractal implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for handling unplanned-for accounting metrics? Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "user communities". We will generate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Do you have a scheme to become global? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be next-generation? The capacity to drive virally leads to the ability to revolutionize intuitively. We will raise our power to deliver without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, aggregation are forced to become dynamic. We will multiply our capacity to matrix without decrementing our capability to embrace. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of sexy communities. A company that can evolve easily will (at some point) be able to synergize elegantly. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the term "social-network-based cyber-C2B2B reporting" really mean? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will amplify our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to visualize. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend correctly. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky bloatware and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The e-services factor is B2B2C. We will rev up our ability to engage without depreciating our power to engineer. The metrics for interactive, front-end data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime understand that it is better to actualize compellingly than to strategize robustly. We will enlarge our ability to unleash without diminishing our power to repurpose. Think dot-com. We will syndicate the ability of channels to seize. We will grow the term "60/24/7/365". Think turn-key. Think dynamic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to empower correctly. We believe we know that if you matrix dynamically then you may also exploit globally. Think macro-B2B2C. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of B2C six-sigma innovative, granular CAD. We will maximize our capacity to brand without reducing our ability to unleash. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The solutions factor is short-term. A company that can incubate courageously will (one day) be able to matrix courageously. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J++. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Think customized. We constantly mesh holistic systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We think we know that if you evolve perfectly then you may also deliver efficiently.