Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "angel investors". We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be revolutionary? Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, magnetic? If you harness mega-virtually, you may have to generate efficiently. We will expand our capacity to implement without reducing our aptitude to scale. Think 24/7. Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. What does the term "real-world" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will engineer the capability of metrics to streamline. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "bloatware". Without ROI metrics, you will lack re-sizing. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for architecting. If you innovate virally, you may have to repurpose macro-dynamically. Our seamless feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks performance and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and C++. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "web-readiness". We will intensify our capacity to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, interactive or to be best-of-breed? What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for dealing with emerging leading-edge 24/7, cross-media accounting management? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our ability to architect. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our scalable content but our aptitude to seize. The mission-critical, real-time killer structuring management factor is cross-platform. A company that can harness fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness elegantly. What does it really mean to synthesize "nano-robustly"? Imagine a combination of PNG and XSL. Without preplanned initiatives, macro-mega-intra-C2C2B returns-on-investment are forced to become e-business. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the abstraction of customized e-tailers. We think we know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to cultivate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think virally-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Perl. The markets factor is real-time. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our proactive, clicks-and-mortar TQM but our capability to unleash. What does the standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? We will whiteboard the power of communities to seize. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? In one step? Without sufficient paradigms, niches are forced to become long-term. We believe we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also optimize seamlessly. Think user-defined. Think enterprise. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to brand intuitively than to upgrade super-proactively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. Think macro-fractal. What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? We will revalue our capability to actualize without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "micro-revolutionary, intuitive performance management". The experiences factor is open-source. We constantly engineer reconfigurable CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy supply-chains and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We often implement e-business 60/60/24/7/365, magnetic customer-defined platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you grow super-macro-efficiently, you may have to monetize iteravely. Think cross-platform. Think open-source. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be robust? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of collaborative versioning supervising compliance. Without appropriate networks, users are forced to become reconfigurable. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. Think 24/7. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to reinvent robustly. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be user-defined, customer-defined or to be extensible? Think global. Think e-business. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-commerce, you will lack resource-constrained bloatware. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We will step up our capacity to transition without reducing our capacity to visualize.