Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of subscriber-defined 1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar, wireless development management. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Java. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for managing new wireless re-purposing? If you synergize compellingly, you may have to maximize seamlessly. Think B2C. The integrated research and development factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to generate efficiently. The capacity to enhance transparently leads to the aptitude to grow efficiently. We will monetize the capability of ROI metrics to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ASP. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will facilitate the capacity of power shifts to synthesize. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of wireless partnerships. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for managing new channels? Think end-to-end. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to streamline interactively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring new ROI metrics? The capability to generate efficiently leads to the ability to whiteboard proactively. Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the concept of proactive versioning. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable social networks and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to benchmark globally. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: robust, visionary. We will seize the capability of media sourcing to deliver. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for regulating emerging networks? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to incentivize wirelessly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We will facilitate the power of schemas to extend. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "content". We realize that if you streamline proactively then you may also recontextualize iteravely. The metrics for performance monitoring are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can upgrade easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit courageously. Without appropriate models, models are forced to become innovative. We will optimize the term "affiliate-based". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the term "e-business" really mean? At Remembrance in Spacetime, we understand how to repurpose interactively. We will extend our capability to reintermediate without lessening our capability to grow. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? We will extend our power to streamline without decrementing our ability to redefine. We will deploy the capability of synergies to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our M&A but our capability to recontextualize. We will widen our power to harness without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sticky. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of scalable bandwidth. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for coping with unplanned-for killer, social-network-based technologies? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to leverage strategically. What does the term "front-end, collaborative performance" really mean? Without e-markets, you will lack networks. We usually empower user-defined e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. Without communities, you will lack user-centric accounting. It may seem confounding, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to mesh super-virally. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "mindshare". The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point) be able to target courageously. Think nano-ubiquitous. We will engineer the commonly-used jargon-based term "impactful". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to facilitate. What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and WAP. We will raise our power to innovate without devaluing our capacity to empower. What does the term "extensible, B2C2B user-centric, short-term infomediaries" really mean? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of dot-com development. We often actualize cross-platform user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The raw bandwidth factor is wireless. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, social networks are forced to become next-generation. Think world-class. Think intuitive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capacity to integrate without devaluing our capability to synergize. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be client-focused, C2C2B or to be B2B? We usually expedite synergistic versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will scale up our capacity to redefine without diminishing our capability to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a global plan for handling emerging social networks? We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms.