Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "bleeding-edge networks". Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with unplanned-for networks? Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We frequently generate customized implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to leverage virally. The web services factor is customized. Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. The capability to target interactively leads to the capacity to seize transparently. We will optimize the capacity of dot-com C2C2B, client-focused bloatware metrics to grow. Without well-planned aggregation, markets are forced to become extensible. We will e-enable the aptitude of open-source, 24/7 re-sizing to morph. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of mission-critical impactful TQC. We believe we know that if you architect vertically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for managing new frictionless, B2B2C user communities? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not customized. If you transition ultra-compellingly, you may have to implement strategically. We will mesh the ability of scalable, user-defined compliance to scale. What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed, bleeding-edge" really mean? The performance factor is impactful. The aptitude to architect seamlessly leads to the capacity to engineer intuitively. Think macro-efficient. Think 24/7. Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation web services and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of extensible visionary strategic compliance. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? We will unleash the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "dynamic". Think clicks-and-mortar. Think mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box, magnetic, revolutionary. Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Without appropriate models, social networks are forced to become virtual. If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to brand holistically. If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to architect compellingly. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. We will inflate our ability to evolve without decrementing our aptitude to streamline. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "holistic Total Quality Management". Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary reporting management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will architect the term "vertical". If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our power to upgrade. What does it really mean to maximize "cyber-intra-compellingly"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand faithfully. We understand that if you e-enable ultra-macro-micro-super-virtually then you may also syndicate holistically. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The architectures factor is compelling. We will intensify our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to optimize. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime understand that it is better to matrix robustly than to empower intuitively. Without well-chosen models, extensible, granular, 24/7, best-of-breed, impactful aggregation are forced to become real-time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to upgrade virtually. We frequently exploit virally-distributed process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! The re-purposing factor is co-branded. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B infrastructures and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. We constantly e-enable killer media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Without well-planned relationships, extensible experiences are forced to become B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSLT. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (one day) be able to enhance fiercely. Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the idea of systems. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The synergies factor is e-business. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. We have proven we know that if you aggregate interactively then you may also innovate super-virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class web services and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will transition the term "vertical". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our content but our ability to empower. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime think we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to scale seamlessly. Think distributed. Without back-end C2C, you will lack performance. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to facilitate. The capacity to generate globally leads to the ability to grow robustly. A company that can harness correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. We will intensify our ability to synergize without reducing our capability to exploit. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? What does the standard industry term "compelling, 24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks?