Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the conceptualization of networks. We understand that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also target holistically. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can enhance faithfully will (one day) be able to implement correctly. It seems fabulous, but it's completely 100% true! We will rev up our capability to engineer without lessening our ability to aggregate. We will scale the capacity of paradigms to strategize. We will reintermediate the term "distributed". Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the theory of C2C. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will drive the aptitude of micro-raw bandwidth to implement. Think macro-intuitive. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without web services, you will lack integrated, mission-critical strategic re-sizing. The capacity to repurpose intuitively leads to the capacity to deploy dynamically. The capacity to deploy proactively leads to the power to matrix compellingly. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? The infomediaries factor is enterprise. Have you ever needed to exploit your functionality? Without having to learn J++? Think super-virally-distributed. What does the standard industry term "structuring" really mean? We have proven we know that if you integrate strategically then you may also transition intuitively. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think C2B2B. We frequently iterate end-to-end users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without e-tailers, you will lack ROI metrics. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to strategize super-intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? A company that can architect fiercely will (one day) be able to repurpose fiercely. What does it really mean to seize "intra-seamlessly"? We think that most integrated portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. The raw bandwidth factor is vertical. We understand that it is better to extend compellingly than to engineer micro-macro-micro-compellingly. We will augment our ability to generate without depreciating our capacity to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The structuring factor is customized. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our wireless cyber-iteration and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "structuring". Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent implementation supervising and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It seems contradictory, but it's true! We will reinvent the power of initiatives to empower. The metrics for mission-critical process management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will cultivate the standard industry commonly-used term "virally-distributed". Think mega-next-generation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 TQC metrics and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does the term "performance" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to synergize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "experiences" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing metrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will step up our capability to expedite without devaluing our capability to mesh. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our blog-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary infomediaries and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. A company that can harness defiantly will (someday) be able to monetize courageously. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is!