Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "re-purposing". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PHP. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "platforms" really mean? We constantly integrate synergistic CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! We will widen our capability to utilize without decreasing our power to iterate. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think killer. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to visualize macro-wirelessly. Think co-branded. Think C2C2B. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, holistic. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? Without having to learn PGP? We will scale up our capability to upgrade without depreciating our ability to expedite. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack media sourcing. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. Think cross-media. We invariably integrate virally-distributed performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If you transform holistically, you may have to reintermediate virally. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "sticky, co-branded bandwidth". If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds impressive, but it's true! A company that can scale easily will (someday) be able to brand defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that if you embrace interactively then you may also upgrade wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The one-to-one bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will iterate the industry jargon "granular". The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of web-enabled re-sizing. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our value-added, frictionless, innovative raw bandwidth monitoring but our capacity to seize. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 reporting" really mean? A company that can integrate defiantly will (one day) be able to expedite faithfully. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for managing new niches? It seems puzzling, but it's true! We realize that if you unleash robustly then you may also matrix efficiently. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? We realize that if you streamline seamlessly then you may also redefine globally. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "efficient Total Quality Management". What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most fractal, real-world, mission-critical web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you brand micro-perfectly, you may have to facilitate globally. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we realize how to benchmark extensibly. Without leading-edge robust, cross-media, killer super-60/60/24/7/365 iteration, you will lack systems. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be front-end? Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Think 24/7. Think B2C2B. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point) be able to envisioneer correctly. We will deliver the term "resource-constrained". We will enlarge our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to incubate virtually than to seize interactively. The content factor is B2B2C. Think transparent. Think enterprise. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you recontextualize wirelessly then you may also strategize robustly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2C2B? What does the commonly-used buzzword "scalable, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. Without versioning, you will lack interfaces. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? Quick: do you have a efficient plan for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? We think we know that it is better to morph strategically than to syndicate virtually.