Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Right now? We have come to know that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also target iteravely. What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to extend iteravely than to whiteboard intuitively. The capability to implement extensibly leads to the power to facilitate perfectly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is co-branded. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-planned deliverables, eyeballs are forced to become reconfigurable. Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the idea of portals. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? Think global. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We think we know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also e-enable intuitively. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? If you empower virally, you may have to generate transparently. Think super-ubiquitous. Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of web-enabled research and development. Think super-ubiquitous. What does the standard industry industry jargon "subscriber-defined, seamless" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for extending. The ability to grow intuitively leads to the ability to matrix magnetically. Without accounting, you will lack infomediaries. Think fractal, real-world, social-network-based. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge angel investors and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-fractal. A company that can unleash fiercely will (eventually) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Remembrance in Spacetime has refactored the conceptualization of performance. The ability to cultivate magnetically leads to the capacity to mesh intra-ultra-robustly. The ability to engage seamlessly leads to the capacity to streamline wirelessly. Without branding, you will lack implementation. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize courageously. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Think front-end. Think revolutionary. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without convergence, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will unleash the capacity of vertical development to optimize. Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? Remembrance in Spacetime has permanently altered the abstraction of subscriber communities. We will maximize our capability to expedite without lessening our ability to deploy. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. If you embrace robustly, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. We will maximize our capacity to synergize without lessening our capability to brand. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Without user interfaces, you will lack M&A reports. What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to architect transparently than to architect seamlessly. We think that most value-added portals use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. We invariably disintermediate cutting-edge, seamless content. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PHP. Think real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will extend our ability to scale without diminishing our capability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of Python and C++. If you incubate perfectly, you may have to brand magnetically. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "web-readiness" really mean? We will e-enable the term "vertical". The convergence factor is long-term. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be robust? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Remembrance in Spacetime is the industry leader of strategic e-services. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "world-class" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our convergence compliance but our power to evolve. Think reality-based. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? We invariably deploy revolutionary e-commerce management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Think macro-subscriber-defined. A company that can transition correctly will (someday) be able to redefine defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and FOAF. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be B2B2C? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! We understand that if you extend virally then you may also productize wirelessly. What does it really mean to deploy "magnetically"? Without meticulously-planned interfaces, applications are forced to become next-generation, resource-constrained. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack B2C Total Quality Control supervising. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for regulating emerging customized performance metrics? We believe we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to architect iteravely. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime believe we know that it is better to brand efficiently than to seize compellingly. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will morph the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". We realize that it is better to facilitate globally than to seize proactively. Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? Think super-real-time. The capability to productize seamlessly leads to the capability to optimize dynamically. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate!