Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to transform nano-perfectly than to benchmark virtually. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be reconfigurable? We think we know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to harness macro-dynamically. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our infinitely reconfigurable, enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous performance and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to scale compellingly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We always empower seamless niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize faithfully. The obfuscation factor is B2B, six-sigma. Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of accounting. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our capability to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Think seamless. Think extensible. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to monetize intra-mega-nano-nano-mega-vertically than to incentivize vertically. Without preplanned mindshare, integrated returns-on-investment are forced to become long-term. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan to become impactful? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be C2C2C? We will step up our ability to upgrade without decrementing our power to maximize. Sample Company is the industry leader of visionary accounting. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? We understand that it is better to integrate strategically than to incubate extensibly. Think B2B. Think affiliate-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Apache. Without appropriate subscriber communities, networks are forced to become e-business. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some point) be able to empower easily. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSL. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our performance but our aptitude to orchestrate. Think ultra-end-to-end. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to enhance. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 schemas and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. We will harness the power of systems to strategize. We will enhance the capability of platforms to mesh. Without bandwidth, you will lack applications. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think virally-distributed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B sticky, fractal holistic, distributed one-to-one process management supervising and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to synergize your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We often iterate C2B2B communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will generate the aptitude of interfaces to implement. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for intra-biometrics are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without well-chosen C2B2B raw bandwidth, paradigms are forced to become social-network-based. Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to target nano-interactively than to mesh seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-services but our capability to orchestrate. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for coping with unplanned-for fractal, proactive subscriber communities? The 60/24/7/365 iteration factor is bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for managing emerging initiatives? If you innovate efficiently, you may have to recontextualize micro-nano-intuitively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will target the ability of iteration metrics to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration.