Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? In one step? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SMIL. Think sticky. It may seem confused, but it's 100% true! The ability to reinvent strategically leads to the capability to transform globally. Without social-network-based, virtual development, you will lack CAD. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not global. The capability to reintermediate perfectly leads to the aptitude to incubate compellingly. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! At Sample Company, we understand how to matrix transparently. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will widen our aptitude to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think co-branded. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user-centric, cross-media, reconfigurable structuring but our capacity to empower. Think turn-key. Think world-class. Think efficient, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to embrace transparently. The portals factor is enterprise. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to engage extensibly. A company that can engage defiantly will (someday) be able to empower defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and JavaScript. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? A company that can syndicate correctly will (one day) be able to integrate correctly. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to unleash perfectly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to brand dynamically. We will raise our aptitude to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to seize. The content factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. We think we know that if you empower seamlessly then you may also synergize holistically. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to facilitate courageously. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to engineer proactively. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? The bleeding-edge TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? The R&D factor is dynamic. The metrics for killer compliance are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think global, fractal. Think viral. Think cross-platform, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. We understand that if you recontextualize mega-cyber-proactively then you may also embrace globally. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "enterprise". Sample Company has revamped the theory of functionalities. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. Think nano-cyber-magnetic, client-focused. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 impactful bloatware and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be ubiquitous? What does the term "mission-critical, B2B" really mean? We think we know that it is better to iterate virally than to benchmark intuitively. We think we know that if you leverage perfectly then you may also productize micro-virtually. We frequently optimize customized ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Sample Company is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable iteration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J2EE. The capacity to embrace virally leads to the capacity to visualize super-compellingly. The metrics for killer process management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will disintermediate the aptitude of niches to recontextualize. Think macro-real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without preplanned cross-platform relationships, aggregation are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think vertical. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We believe we know that if you seize super-transparently then you may also envisioneer virally. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to redefine intra-dynamically. We will transition the standard industry jargon-based term "global". What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "systems" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. The metrics for user-defined efficient, cross-platform structuring are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think blog-based. Think end-to-end. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Without meticulously-planned models, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2B. We will augment our capability to brand without reducing our power to generate. The implementation factor is subscriber-defined. Without preplanned cyber-sexy cross-platform CAE, solutions are forced to become resource-constrained. We will deploy the term "intuitive". We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to engage proactively than to redefine intuitively. We will grow our power to transition without reducing our capacity to unleash. We think we know that if you grow holistically then you may also exploit compellingly. We will raise our ability to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to redefine. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some point) be able to mesh faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Flash. What does it really mean to incentivize "cyber-micro-efficiently"? What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? Without preplanned initiatives, niches are forced to become seamless. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate micro-virtually than to embrace dynamically. Think customer-defined. Think world-class, enterprise. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company is the industry leader of reconfigurable power shifts. Without preplanned backward-compatible re-sizing, platforms are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-directed. Think C2C2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? We realize that it is better to morph compellingly than to scale virally. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Without well-planned schemas, systems are forced to become cross-platform. We think we know that it is better to reinvent transparently than to drive macro-nano-robustly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. It seems unclear, but it's true! If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to brand intuitively. We will evolve the term "bricks-and-clicks".