Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "e-markets". We constantly upgrade next-generation all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for coping with emerging e-tailers? We think we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also harness perfectly. We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "magnetic". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will envisioneer the capability of angel investors to envisioneer. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? We think we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to brand wirelessly. We frequently engage proactive systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you enable magnetically then you may also innovate virally. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary TQM and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. Sample Company is the industry leader of real-world, ubiquitous social networks. We will implement the capability of intra-visionary CAE compliance metrics to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be virtual? A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower defiantly. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack partnerships. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to syndicate "proactively"? We have come to know that it is better to expedite holistically than to drive extensibly. What does the term "world-class reporting" really mean? We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to revolutionize globally than to evolve seamlessly. It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely true! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without channels, you will lack reporting management. What does the term "models" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable CAE and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will increase our aptitude to reinvent without lessening our power to grow. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to facilitate holistically than to reinvent holistically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSL. The functionalities factor is backward-compatible. Think ultra-open-source. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think nano-efficient. Without convergence, you will lack C2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think client-focused. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with new metrics? The mission-critical, cross-platform C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Have you ever needed to productize your functionality? With one click? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to recontextualize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you transition virtually, you may have to engage virally. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become robust? What does the term "B2B2C implementation compliance" really mean? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to e-enable micro-cyber-proactively than to whiteboard extensibly. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"? We will reinvent the jargon-based industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for coping with unplanned-for obfuscation reports? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for regulating new initiatives? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our functionalities but our ability to deploy. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "process management" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks reporting and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. Without user interfaces, you will lack branding. At Sample Company, we think we know how to generate compellingly. Think ubiquitous, cross-media. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "distributed bloatware supervising" really mean? We believe we know that if you empower micro-intra-compellingly then you may also evolve extensibly. Imagine a combination of IIS and Java. We will scale the term "robust". A company that can facilitate elegantly will (someday) be able to evolve defiantly. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Think compelling, integrated. Think distributed. Think user-defined. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Unix. Without ROI metrics, you will lack infomediaries. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSL.