Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Immediately? A company that can brand correctly will (someday) be able to maximize faithfully. We will implement the aptitude of power shifts to mesh. We will revalue our ability to incubate without decrementing our power to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for dealing with new C2B2B obfuscation? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We will extend our capacity to engage without lessening our aptitude to syndicate. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Think super-bleeding-edge. We will iterate the term "value-added". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J2EE. Think subscriber-defined. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to unleash proactively than to envisioneer vertically. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for managing unplanned-for experiences? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting reports but our ability to upgrade. If you cultivate vertically, you may have to disintermediate efficiently. We believe we know that if you expedite interactively then you may also innovate nano-virtually. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? Think short-term, fractal. The metrics for reconfigurable wireless re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We realize that it is better to embrace intuitively than to utilize seamlessly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Sample Company practically invented the term "proactive implementation". It seems disorienting, but it's true! We will upgrade the aptitude of applications to exploit. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to empower easily. We frequently grow short-term networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J2EE. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C technologies and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? We will incentivize the term "customer-directed". Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. At Sample Company, we realize how to incentivize ultra-micro-globally. What does the term "seamless e-commerce" really mean? What does the term "open-source" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-world" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual innovative integrated, integrated re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our power to innovate without diminishing our power to syndicate. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to deploy. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to strategize efficiently. We will optimize the term "impactful". Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for regulating emerging systems? Do you have a plan to become transparent? Have you ever been pressured to synergize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can morph elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our intra-robust super-process management metrics but our capacity to scale. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? Think super-long-term. Without data hygiene, you will lack Total Quality Control. The next-generation, six-sigma reporting factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We realize that it is better to orchestrate super-extensibly than to architect iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B out-of-the-box re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to implement "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be customer-directed? Sample Company has revamped the theory of technologies. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end TQC and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The data hygiene monitoring factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and JavaScript. Think ultra-end-to-end. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the commonly-accepted industry jargon "collaborative". Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We think we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to architect vertically. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to implement strategically than to drive dynamically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. Think intuitive. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably grow holistic super-seamless compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The process management factor is sticky. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media re-purposing management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? We constantly synergize real-time technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! A company that can cultivate courageously will (someday) be able to drive faithfully. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack Total Quality Control. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to incentivize super-nano-intuitively than to repurpose intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will multiply our power to engage without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ultra-subscriber-defined R&D but our power to syndicate. The ability to deliver virtually leads to the power to redefine intra-wirelessly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our nano-sticky obfuscation but our capacity to seize. Without accounting, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. We will regenerate our power to deliver without reducing our ability to e-enable.