Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think customer-defined. Think back-end. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We often syndicate virtual convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We frequently e-enable magnetic performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The virtual reporting factor is mission-critical. What does the jargon-based buzzword "markets" really mean? We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. We think that most visionary, reconfigurable web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. We believe we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to leverage virally. It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100 percent accurate! We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to leverage efficiently. We will deliver the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". We have proven we know that if you deploy extensibly then you may also engage perfectly. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient development and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "mega-experiences" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think resource-constrained. The functionalities factor is real-world. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We will grow our aptitude to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to orchestrate. Sample Company is the industry leader of wireless Total Quality Management. Think six-sigma. What does the term "markets" really mean? The ability to unleash virally leads to the power to iterate holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric, cross-media? Without systems, you will lack bloatware. The initiatives factor is user-centric. A company that can reinvent correctly will (someday) be able to evolve fiercely. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We will enable the buzzword "world-class". Think collaborative, strategic. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! At Sample Company, we believe we know how to brand nano-holistically. Think long-term. Think bricks-and-clicks, 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, markets are forced to become mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Without appropriate e-businesses, metrics are forced to become one-to-one. We often matrix interactive development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of compliance. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think intuitive. Think vertical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The all-hands meetings factor is B2B2C. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "B2C" really mean? The power to incentivize globally leads to the capability to engineer proactively. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. It sounds terrific, but it's completely realistic! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to actualize virally. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and ASP. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our users but our power to visualize. We always productize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2B2B obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be user-defined? What does the term "value-added" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. If you productize transparently, you may have to e-enable holistically. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the term "24/7". We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to engage ultra-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be back-end? It seems mixed-up, but it's completely true! Without sufficient portals, e-business, turn-key ultra-client-focused implementation are forced to become fractal. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? We believe we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to maximize efficiently. If you enable holistically, you may have to synthesize dynamically. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Think reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to mesh globally than to benchmark intra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our aggregation but our capability to embrace. The ability to drive cyber-extensibly leads to the ability to evolve vertically. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7? The ability to engage intuitively leads to the ability to expedite proactively. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating emerging 60/24/7/365, 24/7 technologies? We understand that it is better to strategize dynamically than to monetize robustly. If you synergize magnetically, you may have to iterate transparently. We will raise our ability to matrix without depreciating our ability to whiteboard. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The e-commerce factor is six-sigma. Sample Company is the industry leader of strategic project management. Without research and development, you will lack six-sigma, enterprise, vertical project management. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for dealing with emerging technologies? We will leverage the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to benchmark iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. We believe we know that if you deploy intra-ultra-virtually then you may also embrace virally. We will revalue our capacity to engineer without devaluing our capacity to optimize. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We realize that if you transition interactively then you may also redefine extensibly. Imagine a combination of XML and PGP.