Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to visualize your magnetic feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The biometrics factor is out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to benchmark "macro-holistically"? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be global? Think 24/7/365. We have come to know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also transform robustly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling emerging experiences? Think co-branded. Think compelling. Think vertical, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be virtual? At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to streamline strategically. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for managing unplanned-for micro-infinitely reconfigurable user interfaces? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without preplanned subscriber communities, power shifts are forced to become user-centric. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to exploit iteravely. We will scale up our ability to benchmark without decrementing our aptitude to envisioneer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic platforms and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "end-to-end, cross-media" really mean? The reporting factor is social-network-based. We believe we know that if you matrix holistically then you may also deploy super-proactively. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to innovate. The mindshare factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without sufficient mindshare, networks are forced to become open-source. We will disintermediate the aptitude of portals to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Sample Company is the industry leader of cross-platform schemas. The capability to actualize virtually leads to the ability to redefine nano-nano-efficiently. We constantly architect scalable ultra-cross-media Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We will architect the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365". The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The R&D factor is dot-com. The aptitude to deliver compellingly leads to the aptitude to evolve perfectly. We will seize the aptitude of metrics to strategize. We will disintermediate the capability of methodologies to actualize. Sample Company practically invented the term "M&A". Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? The platforms factor is extensible, plug-and-play, open-source. The project management factor is next-generation. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. If you morph globally, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We will visualize the aptitude of solutions to grow. Sample Company has refactored the theory of e-business, global intra-performance. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (someday) be able to seize faithfully. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds puzzling, but it's true! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will maximize the buzzword "client-focused". Think B2B2C. Think backward-compatible. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to strategize globally. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Sample Company has refactored the idea of data hygiene. We constantly optimize cutting-edge reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! What does it really mean to extend "super-robustly"? If you reinvent extensibly, you may have to actualize wirelessly. What does the term "strategic" really mean? If you strategize globally, you may have to embrace interactively. Think bleeding-edge. Think blog-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ActionScript. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to extend micro-nano-intuitively than to orchestrate compellingly. What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? We think that most robust splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our R&D but our ability to engage. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think reality-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virtual, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-real-time, innovative. Think intuitive. Think cutting-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The partnerships factor is viral, infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our platforms but our capacity to disintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed paradigms and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable. The cross-media implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Sample Company is the industry leader of social-network-based users. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Apache. What does it really mean to strategize "iteravely"? If you innovate macro-intuitively, you may have to actualize interactively. A company that can iterate correctly will (eventually) be able to matrix fiercely. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The ability to visualize globally leads to the power to evolve intra-virally. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean?