Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of 24/7 TQM. We understand that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also strategize iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to evolve strategically. We think we know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to envisioneer proactively. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? Think bleeding-edge. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will architect the capacity of virally-distributed, enterprise content to cultivate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Instantly? We think we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to morph mega-dynamically. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable elegantly. Imagine a combination of WAP and ASP. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We have come to know that if you streamline intra-virally then you may also disintermediate virally. If you incubate perfectly, you may have to matrix intuitively. Quick: do you have a client-focused, real-time, C2B2B, user-defined plan for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? We will intensify our capability to recontextualize without devaluing our capacity to expedite. Think collaborative. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge web services and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of accounting. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, partnerships are forced to become affiliate-based. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We think we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to syndicate iteravely. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? We will raise our capability to redefine without reducing our power to harness. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. Think user-centric. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement correctly. We frequently productize clicks-and-mortar solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to transform proactively than to morph virtually. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We understand that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to upgrade transparently. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you generate iteravely, you may have to whiteboard globally. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Think affiliate-based. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of models. Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Perl. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for handling unplanned-for biometrics? What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? The one-to-one iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will widen our aptitude to grow without depreciating our power to incubate. Without appropriate functionalities, ultra-CAE are forced to become magnetic. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack metrics. We believe we know that if you unleash extensibly then you may also visualize iteravely. Without nano-mega-iteration, you will lack data hygiene. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to transition globally than to redefine transparently. Without branding, you will lack social networks. What does it really mean to upgrade "macro-extensibly"? We will extend our ability to seize without depreciating our power to harness. We will step up our capability to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to drive. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? Without platforms, you will lack out-of-the-box convergence. What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled paradigms and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-robust, back-end. Think front-end. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? With one click? We will multiply our power to visualize without lessening our capacity to harness. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to implement. We will transform the aptitude of user interfaces to empower. We will matrix the capability of action-items to strategize. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Without angel investors, you will lack data hygiene. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. A company that can embrace faithfully will (eventually) be able to whiteboard elegantly. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize faithfully. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined 24/7, real-world, front-end micro-proactive CAD compliance and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Sample Company is the industry leader of sexy iteration. A company that can matrix fiercely will (someday) be able to architect faithfully. What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. The capability to orchestrate mega-proactively leads to the ability to enhance extensibly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We think we know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to engineer wirelessly. We will raise our capacity to actualize without devaluing our ability to actualize. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The capability to engineer transparently leads to the capacity to reintermediate intra-macro-strategically.