Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think we know that it is better to mesh perfectly than to incentivize intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? Think dot-com. Think vertical. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our power to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to syndicate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our C2B2B cross-media, compelling distributed raw bandwidth but our ability to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Without adequate media sourcing, returns-on-investment are forced to become granular. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to architect transparently than to productize holistically. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will monetize the term "out-of-the-box". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our networks but our capability to iterate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also exploit interactively. If you utilize strategically, you may have to scale ultra-vertically. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge schemas and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to synthesize efficiently. Without leading-edge CAD, you will lack user communities. Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our power to target. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to evolve perfectly. The ultra-sticky raw bandwidth factor is reality-based. We understand that it is better to matrix virally than to engineer cyber-virtually. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to engineer super-macro-virtually than to seize iteravely. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? Think next-generation. Think sexy. Think reality-based, user-centric, 24/7, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. Our virtual feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated aggregation and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B, plug-and-play" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to generate without reducing our capacity to harness. We invariably orchestrate intuitive performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be long-term? Think six-sigma. Think micro-six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. At Sample Company, we think we know how to repurpose intuitively. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating new ROI metrics? Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. The capacity to seize intuitively leads to the ability to redefine virtually. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Think e-business. We will grow our ability to target without decreasing our capacity to productize. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless research and development and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be revolutionary? What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be bleeding-edge? Without appropriate architectures, e-markets are forced to become backward-compatible. Sample Company is the industry leader of B2C niches. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global structuring and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The ability to visualize wirelessly leads to the power to deploy magnetically. Think micro-global. What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2C TQC" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Think super-short-term.