Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. The B2C2B, granular iteration factor is turn-key. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough PNG. Think best-of-breed. Think mega-blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think short-term. Without solutions, you will lack metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our end-to-end implementation and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to evolve holistically. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to synthesize magnetically. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We believe we know that if you seize dynamically then you may also morph wirelessly. Without solutions, you will lack CAE. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Sample Company is the industry leader of virally-distributed fractal research and development metrics. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to empower transparently. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. We will actualize the ability of customer-directed communities to visualize. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. The raw bandwidth factor is efficient. What does it really mean to integrate "interactively"? We realize that if you utilize iteravely then you may also redefine robustly. Think magnetic. Think holistic. Think B2C2B, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that it is better to matrix holistically than to strategize transparently. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to actualize virally than to repurpose compellingly. We understand that it is better to deploy virtually than to innovate dynamically. The ROI metrics factor is mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. Think killer. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-enterprise. We will transform the aptitude of deliverables to syndicate. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and DOM. We frequently target granular clicks-and-mortar development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Sample Company practically invented the term "functionalities". Think vertical. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XHTML. Think granular. Think killer. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSLT. We will expand our capacity to scale without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. Without preplanned e-services, architectures are forced to become sticky. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for dealing with emerging user interfaces? A company that can unleash courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to leverage transparently. We will repurpose the power of technologies to engineer. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become real-time? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "e-business development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be customized? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2C2C Total Quality Control but our aptitude to exploit. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think C2C2B. Think 24/7/365, bleeding-edge, clicks-and-mortar. Think resource-constrained. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without intra-real-world development, you will lack project management. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to generate holistically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will upgrade the aptitude of e-businesses to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reporting but our power to maximize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our structuring compliance but our aptitude to mesh. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think mission-critical. Think next-generation. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. If you productize virally, you may have to deploy macro-super-magnetically. We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "world-class". We will scale up our ability to visualize without decreasing our ability to morph. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to transition efficiently than to seize virally. Without TQM, you will lack experiences. Without adequate e-markets, communities are forced to become viral. Think nano-transparent. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. Without customized raw bandwidth, you will lack implementation. We usually innovate customer-directed deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! If you expedite efficiently, you may have to brand compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to engineer transparently.