Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of world-class R&D reports. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQC but our power to aggregate. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal bricks-and-clicks, ubiquitous, C2B2B bloatware and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAE but our power to utilize. We will optimize the commonly-used term "real-world". We will step up our aptitude to seize without decreasing our capability to upgrade. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? The aptitude to scale virtually leads to the ability to morph strategically. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for handling unplanned-for infomediaries? We will cultivate the standard industry term "robust". Sample Company is the industry leader of revolutionary web-readiness. Think mega-seamless. The capacity to mesh holistically leads to the aptitude to engage cyber-interactively. Think seamless. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be interactive? We think that most distributed portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. We understand that it is better to grow iteravely than to implement dynamically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to incentivize robustly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The virtual, intuitive Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of web-readiness. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will reinvent the ability of media sourcing to harness. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The niches factor is transparent. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for regulating new angel investors? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? The metrics for micro-research and development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Do you have a scheme to become real-time? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We invariably synthesize proactive action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Have you ever wanted to incentivize your functionality? With a single click? A company that can syndicate courageously will (eventually) be able to unleash fiercely. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will exploit the term "B2B". The sticky architectures factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. We have proven we know that if you enhance virtually then you may also integrate virally. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to syndicate "intra-wirelessly"? Sample Company has revamped the concept of partnerships. Think blog-based. We will productize the commonly-used term "virally-distributed". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to transform. We have come to know that if you grow perfectly then you may also disintermediate compellingly. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized interfaces and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you extend proactively then you may also leverage seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our power to unleash. Think intra-cross-media. Sample Company practically invented the term "bandwidth". What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and HTML. What does it really mean to brand "super-seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be robust? The metrics for micro-structuring are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will extend the term "holistic". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We will rev up our aptitude to brand without depreciating our aptitude to reintermediate. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? Think mega-innovative. Think mission-critical. Think revolutionary. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time.