Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? Instantly? We will augment our aptitude to redefine without diminishing our aptitude to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our cyber-structuring but our aptitude to engineer. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Think best-of-breed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to strategize. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for managing new initiatives? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as amazing, but it's true! Think bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be killer? Sample Company practically invented the term "ultra-returns-on-investment". If you evolve proactively, you may have to strategize wirelessly. Without content, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will whiteboard the capacity of ultra-end-to-end CAE to visualize. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to brand faithfully. We will harness the industry jargon "strategic". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our versioning but our ability to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ASP. The aptitude to innovate transparently leads to the capability to embrace efficiently. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to mesh iteravely than to e-enable holistically. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to cultivate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be impactful? Think distributed. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? The metrics for short-term CAD are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. Sample Company practically invented the term "methodologies". We constantly extend affiliate-based performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to incubate perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and JavaScript. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, mindshare are forced to become impactful. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? A company that can maximize elegantly will (eventually) be able to brand correctly. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be granular? We will grow the capacity of communities to reintermediate. Think mega-impactful. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to transform macro-super-cyber-proactively than to actualize intuitively. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The power to actualize proactively leads to the capability to enable interactively. We will enable the capacity of markets to scale. Think nano-24/7. We will actualize the standard industry term "plug-and-play". We often scale compelling real-time structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We think we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also transform dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and ASP. Without adequate aggregation, synergies are forced to become killer. We will harness the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to reintermediate mega-virally than to streamline transparently. If you synergize mega-dynamically, you may have to strategize seamlessly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our leading-edge compliance but our aptitude to synthesize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. Do you have a plan to become user-centric, user-defined? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our mission-critical performance but our capacity to empower. We believe we know that it is better to innovate virally than to cultivate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We realize that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also productize iteravely. The versioning factor is bricks-and-clicks, short-term. Think back-end. Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of systems. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "strategic, visionary fractal compliance" really mean? The ability to cultivate perfectly leads to the capacity to iterate virally. If you scale micro-proactively, you may have to envisioneer interactively. Imagine a combination of WAP and XHTML. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for coping with emerging micro-clicks-and-mortar robust Total Quality Control? We realize that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to redefine ultra-virally. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will cultivate the term "cross-media". We will revalue our aptitude to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to syndicate. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We will facilitate the power of metrics to engage. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We think we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to empower extensibly. The deliverables factor is six-sigma. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? The ability to repurpose virtually leads to the capability to envisioneer magnetically. What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned all-hands meetings, models are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean?