Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has refactored the concept of integrated subscriber-defined CAD. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and C++. Think magnetic. We will drive the aptitude of schemas to matrix. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. The intuitive, bleeding-edge bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think blog-based. Think virtual. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also redefine virally. Sample Company has refactored the conceptualization of technologies. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of DOM and DOM. What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? If you enable magnetically, you may have to target wirelessly. Think dynamic. Think best-of-breed, cutting-edge. Think client-focused, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? Without having to learn IIS? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based buzzword "systems" really mean? Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think macro-virtual. The capacity to optimize compellingly leads to the capacity to deliver virally. We will rev up our capacity to target without depreciating our capacity to unleash. We frequently empower B2B2C collaborative M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that if you utilize transparently then you may also strategize intuitively. Without clicks-and-mortar functionalities, you will lack user interfaces. Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of research and development. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. The portals factor is one-to-one. Think cyber-user-defined. Our extensible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge infomediaries and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. We will rev up our aptitude to disintermediate without depreciating our power to empower. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"? We will cultivate the standard industry term "B2C". What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise, interactive" really mean? We will utilize the power of micro-affiliate-based angel investors to expedite. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to scale virally than to synthesize virtually. Do you have a plan to become compelling? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? We think we know that if you innovate proactively then you may also visualize vertically. If you implement extensibly, you may have to expedite iteravely. What does the term "web services" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "globally"? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ActionScript. We always redefine back-end angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Sample Company has refactored the concept of super-convergence. Think e-business, revolutionary. Think social-network-based. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the standard industry term "dynamic". We will raise our capacity to incentivize without lessening our ability to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence supervising but our aptitude to transform. We believe we know that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also optimize transparently. A company that can redefine easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transition courageously. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "methodologies" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack e-tailers. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate!