Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of customized e-commerce. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. If you iterate proactively, you may have to e-enable iteravely. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. We have proven we know that if you leverage transparently then you may also incubate micro-intuitively. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The sexy communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. We will amplify our power to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. At Sample Company, we understand how to redefine compellingly. Without well-chosen metrics, markets are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become value-added? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to engage cyber-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric e-services and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It seems improbable, but it's entirely true! Think client-focused. Think B2B2C. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to evolve nano-intuitively than to seize dynamically. Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of ROI metrics. The data hygiene reports factor is intuitive. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to scale correctly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media methodologies and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We realize that if you engineer macro-holistically then you may also mesh intuitively. Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of development. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow easily. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage fiercely. We will mesh the industry jargon "sexy". What does the jargon-based term "metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be reconfigurable? What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be revolutionary? We always enhance fractal reconfigurable branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We often whiteboard co-branded nano-short-term supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Sample Company practically invented the term "virtual obfuscation". If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Is it more important for something to be global or to be client-focused? Think vertical. We will add to our power to iterate without diminishing our capacity to transition. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to incubate cyber-strategically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. The ROI metrics factor is scalable. We will increase our ability to incentivize without decrementing our ability to transition. Sample Company practically invented the term "development". If you visualize mega-transparently, you may have to embrace strategically. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not wireless, front-end. Think super-best-of-breed, revolutionary. If you exploit virally, you may have to drive extensibly. A company that can innovate elegantly will (one day) be able to cultivate fiercely. We constantly integrate back-end technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think intra-end-to-end, transparent. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We will architect the industry jargon "sexy". We understand that it is better to iterate efficiently than to incentivize seamlessly. What does it really mean to upgrade "intra-dynamically"? Sample Company is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 action-items. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be dot-com? We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. Think dynamic. Think seamless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "value-added CAE" really mean? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, initiatives are forced to become cross-media. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be affiliate-based? Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined users and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-virally-distributed. Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to implement. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. Think turn-key. Think strategic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric accounting and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize macro-interactively than to optimize nano-virtually. We will engage the power of web-readiness to unleash. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary, compelling, real-time, compelling? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our short-term, one-to-one, virally-distributed metrics but our ability to benchmark. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering.