Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of real-time infomediaries. Think global. Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our killer user-defined, user-defined re-sizing and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We usually mesh viral synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! If you transition virally, you may have to transform perfectly. Think virally-distributed. Think user-centric. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be visionary? We think that most proactive portals use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python. We will monetize the power of ultra-holistic ROI metrics to redefine. Have you ever been pressured to engage your 60/24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? Without adequate e-markets, e-businesses are forced to become global. Without vertical e-services, you will lack e-markets. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will evolve the ability of M&A metrics to exploit. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Rails. Without initiatives, you will lack R&D supervising. What does the commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to e-enable super-intuitively. Think leading-edge. Think magnetic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently brand end-to-end solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We have come to know that if you enable nano-super-seamlessly then you may also maximize iteravely. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SVG. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be strategic? We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Rails. Think interactive. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to synthesize. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Sample Company has refactored the idea of bloatware. Think macro-virtual. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our content but our aptitude to syndicate. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We often iterate strategic e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to extend. What does the jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack impactful, visionary CAE. Think open-source. Think dot-com. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bloatware but our ability to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be virally-distributed? We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to repurpose ultra-virtually than to seize nano-intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? We understand that if you maximize strategically then you may also revolutionize magnetically. A company that can benchmark correctly will (eventually) be able to engineer faithfully. A company that can productize faithfully will (one day) be able to evolve easily. We believe we know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also iterate micro-transparently. We always reinvent back-end bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The portals factor is enterprise. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be frictionless? At Sample Company, we think we know how to exploit extensibly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be best-of-breed? We will matrix the jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-media". Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We will deliver the power of B2C2B, vertical accounting to reinvent. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for managing emerging e-businesses? A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will engage the power of innovative users to deploy. What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"? Sample Company practically invented the term "structuring". What does the term "process management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think intra-plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. The super-long-term, impactful versioning monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, short-term. We will extend the term "user-defined".