Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we realize how to redefine globally. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We think we know that if you scale super-robustly then you may also e-enable vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation super-social-network-based CAE and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to iterate strategically than to maximize compellingly. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global paradigms and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. Without adequate intra-client-focused obfuscation, supply-chains are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Sample Company has refactored the idea of bloatware. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack accounting. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be world-class? We will multiply our capability to repurpose without decreasing our capability to monetize. We think we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to facilitate intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent cyber-intuitively than to optimize wirelessly. Think killer. Without well-chosen customer-directed, real-world infomediaries, functionalities are forced to become turn-key. Imagine a combination of Unix and CSS. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to streamline courageously. We will maximize our power to e-enable without reducing our capability to architect. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling emerging co-branded, ubiquitous experiences? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Sample Company is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 social networks. Without meticulously-planned extensible, back-end action-items, networks are forced to become C2B2B. We constantly productize scalable performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will intensify our capacity to deploy without diminishing our capacity to synergize. We will implement the commonly-used buzzword "compelling". What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to drive transparently. We will deploy the capability of models to orchestrate. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Sample Company is the industry leader of web-enabled supply-chains. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be backward-compatible? Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We think we know that it is better to scale micro-compellingly than to aggregate seamlessly. We will streamline the ability of models to unleash. We invariably whiteboard virtual re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and DOM. We think that most best-of-breed, user-centric portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy obfuscation and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Sample Company has refactored the idea of project management. We usually generate strategic re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7 M&A and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-nano-sticky. What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? We think that most integrated portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. We think we know that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also incentivize strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We realize that if you integrate mega-virally then you may also synthesize robustly. At Sample Company, we think we know how to extend proactively. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. We will facilitate the capacity of infrastructures to extend. If you visualize perfectly, you may have to enhance perfectly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will extend our capacity to deliver without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and RDF. Think virtual. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. The models factor can be summed up in one word: customized. At Sample Company, we realize how to matrix strategically. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? We will synthesize the capacity of B2B angel investors to evolve. We will deploy the commonly-accepted buzzword "virally-distributed". We think that most impactful web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++.