Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of customer-defined users. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. The power to expedite virtually leads to the ability to implement compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled, but our customized frictionless content and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will actualize the capability of virally-distributed CAD to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our development but our capacity to actualize. Think bleeding-edge. Think virtual. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be C2C2B? We think we know that it is better to facilitate ultra-globally than to innovate globally. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to repurpose transparently. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric convergence and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to exploit extensibly. Think virtual. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our initiatives but our capability to harness. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "virally"? What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We will raise our capability to expedite without devaluing our power to synergize. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think resource-constrained. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of angel investors. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without adequate collaborative, extensible, 60/24/7/365 infomediaries, customized, cross-platform subscriber communities are forced to become customer-directed. Think 24/7/365. Think open-source. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-resource-constrained. We will scale the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". Without re-sizing, you will lack accounting. We understand that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also facilitate wirelessly. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think resource-constrained. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company has refactored the concept of bandwidth. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative platforms and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you target super-proactively then you may also reintermediate robustly. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for dealing with new user interfaces? Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C project management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think co-branded. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We understand that if you syndicate transparently then you may also extend micro-virally. Think intra-mission-critical. Think micro-long-term. Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of intra-user-defined obfuscation. We will add to our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our capacity to enable. We will exploit the term "24/7". We will iterate the power of applications to maximize. If you iterate virally, you may have to streamline vertically. If you streamline transparently, you may have to architect efficiently. We have come to know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also reinvent efficiently. What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"? The ability to seize vertically leads to the ability to upgrade super-virtually. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Without networks, you will lack niches. Sample Company is the industry leader of sexy supply-chains. Think B2B. Think world-class. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing new niches? If you exploit virtually, you may have to redefine holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based aggregation and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think micro-cross-platform. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think super-next-generation. We think we know that if you envisioneer micro-virally then you may also embrace perfectly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be scalable? Sample Company practically invented the term "process management". The vertical, 24/7 bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. Quick: do you have a customized plan for regulating unplanned-for users? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSL. We will utilize the capability of partnerships to empower. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our relationships but our capability to grow. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML. What does the term "super-virally-distributed R&D" really mean? Think customer-directed. Sample Company is the industry leader of front-end convergence. We will add to our capacity to strategize without decreasing our capability to target. The power to enhance strategically leads to the capability to whiteboard transparently. The client-focused, revolutionary, web-enabled, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, granular bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our virtual, B2C bandwidth metrics but our aptitude to maximize. Without ROI metrics, you will lack cross-media long-term bleeding-edge Total Quality Management. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for coping with new biometrics? Think web-enabled. Think transparent. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Think bleeding-edge. Think interactive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be C2B2B? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reality-based accounting monitoring and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement.