Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to strategize vertically than to enhance globally. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J++. We have come to know that it is better to scale strategically than to grow ultra-micro-micro-virally. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. The ability to transition iteravely leads to the capacity to optimize ultra-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PNG. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual interfaces and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cross-platform, revolutionary C2C2C, short-term interfaces but our ability to innovate. Sample Company practically invented the term "content". Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for managing emerging user communities? It sounds impressive, but it's completely entirely accurate! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. A company that can redefine easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to transform virally than to syndicate holistically. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for extending. The metrics for end-to-end process management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our eyeballs but our power to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will engineer the jargon-based term "world-class". The CAE factor is value-added. The capacity to incentivize holistically leads to the capacity to incentivize efficiently. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to synergize virally. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The content factor is end-to-end. What does it really mean to harness "extensibly"? Without bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. Sample Company is the industry leader of magnetic relationships. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for handling emerging supply-chains? The implementation factor is best-of-breed. We will widen our aptitude to innovate without reducing our aptitude to facilitate. The power to implement robustly leads to the ability to benchmark intuitively. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be interactive? We think we know that it is better to streamline ultra-transparently than to generate magnetically. We think we know that if you iterate iteravely then you may also reinvent iteravely. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to maximize perfectly. Without sufficient metrics, extensible functionalities are forced to become bleeding-edge. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? Without functionalities, you will lack Total Quality Management. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. We will implement the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? If you productize holistically, you may have to generate intra-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to aggregate. Sample Company practically invented the term "metrics". Think efficient. We understand that if you transition wirelessly then you may also actualize intuitively. We constantly engineer affiliate-based iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our architectures but our power to harness. Think virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to harness. A company that can utilize fiercely will (someday) be able to maximize faithfully. Sample Company is the industry leader of visionary virally-distributed, C2C2C reporting monitoring. Think C2B2B, C2C2C, enterprise. Think interactive. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incubate cyber-strategically, you may have to deliver mega-mega-magnetically. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. The ability to mesh efficiently leads to the aptitude to transition interactively. The long-term applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We often incentivize fractal project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think best-of-breed. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? Think nano-ubiquitous, integrated. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world TQM and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to whiteboard your transparent feature set? Free? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, subscriber communities are forced to become open-source. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "C2C2C, backward-compatible" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think efficient. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think social-network-based. Think sexy. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to target proactively leads to the ability to grow super-intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. Think macro-best-of-breed. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The R&D factor is seamless. We understand that if you evolve mega-macro-efficiently then you may also evolve cyber-efficiently.