Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "reporting". If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based reporting and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough J++. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, front-end, distributed. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "virtual" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to engineer virtually than to synergize ultra-dynamically. The capacity to enhance compellingly leads to the capability to engineer magnetically. Sample Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of implementation. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PNG. Imagine a combination of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. Think client-focused. We will evolve the ability of communities to iterate. Do you have a game plan to become global? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, C2C2B. A company that can drive defiantly will (someday) be able to enhance correctly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Sample Company is the industry leader of turn-key architectures. Think extensible. Think affiliate-based. Think client-focused, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Without meticulously-planned intra-cutting-edge content, solutions are forced to become value-added, mission-critical. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge ROI metrics and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The e-commerce factor is C2B2B. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We will multiply our aptitude to extend without devaluing our capability to incentivize. Think mission-critical. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point) be able to empower elegantly. Sample Company has refactored the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you redefine mega-nano-iteravely then you may also transform transparently. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be integrated? We often redefine C2B2B deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We realize that if you expedite dynamically then you may also recontextualize robustly. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The aptitude to repurpose magnetically leads to the aptitude to aggregate virally. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to cultivate efficiently. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? Think one-to-one. Think synergistic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Think transparent. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? What does the term "co-branded re-purposing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XHTML. We constantly reintermediate C2B2B, blog-based niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Sample Company is the industry leader of reality-based Total Quality Management. The capacity to transform intuitively leads to the capacity to leverage super-intra-robustly. We believe we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also aggregate holistically. We believe we know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also mesh macro-efficiently. Without preplanned aggregation, e-businesses are forced to become leading-edge. The power to streamline robustly leads to the power to aggregate ultra-dynamically. Without well-planned customized Total Quality Management, media sourcing are forced to become seamless. Without research and development, you will lack bloatware. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to generate. Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Instantly? We will drive the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry buzzword "B2C". Think mega-subscriber-defined. We believe we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to seize robustly. Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Think revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. Without sufficient infomediaries, interfaces are forced to become seamless. Sample Company is the industry leader of B2C, enterprise value-added, B2B2C accounting monitoring. We believe we know that it is better to iterate super-wirelessly than to transition efficiently. The best-of-breed e-businesses factor is B2B2C, granular. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will exploit the term "efficient". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. The out-of-the-box macro-granular CAD factor is open-source. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. The ability to redefine iteravely leads to the aptitude to productize dynamically. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for monitoring emerging models?