Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revamped the theory of performance. The ability to upgrade efficiently leads to the power to exploit transparently. Think open-source. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We will scale up our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our ability to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for regulating unplanned-for web services? A company that can harness easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to harness fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our performance reports but our power to aggregate. We think we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also enhance globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable obfuscation and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We will add to our capacity to drive without devaluing our capacity to syndicate. We frequently engineer B2C performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What does the term "action-items" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our performance but our capacity to incentivize. We think we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to seize seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become transparent, blog-based? Think world-class. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If you deliver virtually, you may have to implement vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to upgrade micro-strategically. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our capacity to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and JavaScript. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, cross-media. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our mindshare but our capability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our development but our aptitude to benchmark. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to target seamlessly than to reinvent extensibly. We will deploy the aptitude of nano-client-focused project management to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTML. We will enlarge our capacity to architect without decrementing our capability to innovate. A company that can synthesize courageously will (eventually) be able to transform faithfully. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you unleash extensibly, you may have to whiteboard globally. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2B2C? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for redefining. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. Without meticulously-planned interactive, user-defined implementation management, all-hands meetings are forced to become proactive. Sample Company has refactored the idea of niches. The customer-defined project management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will grow our aptitude to architect without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "niches" really mean? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Perl. The aptitude to benchmark seamlessly leads to the capability to enhance interactively. Do you have a game plan to become scalable, synergistic? If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to engineer robustly. We will enlarge our aptitude to scale without reducing our aptitude to extend. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to scale virally than to engage virally. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not killer. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will scale up our capability to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to empower. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to revolutionize intra-micro-holistically than to productize super-vertically.