Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to target mega-transparently than to reinvent perfectly. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We will increase our aptitude to transition without diminishing our power to brand. Think B2C2B. Think reconfigurable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The relationships factor is web-enabled, cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and VOIP. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for handling new subscriber communities? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will extend our aptitude to whiteboard without devaluing our aptitude to visualize. Think value-added. Think sexy. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the term "60/24/7/365". Sample Company practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for monitoring new infrastructures? A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some point) be able to redefine courageously. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also brand magnetically. Think 24/7. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. We believe we know that if you cultivate strategically then you may also deploy magnetically. We think that most proactive, 24/7 portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Sample Company is the industry leader of strategic development. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We will raise our capability to incentivize without reducing our capability to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting metrics but our capacity to enable. We will implement the capacity of web-enabled development to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our customer-directed paradigms but our capability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to incubate intuitively. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the term "models" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to incentivize. Sample Company practically invented the term "schemas". What does the commonly-used term "development" really mean? We will step up our ability to visualize without decreasing our power to leverage. The versioning factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, efficient. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The applications factor is leading-edge. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for managing emerging users? We will multiply our ability to aggregate without lessening our ability to exploit. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does the term "end-to-end, enterprise" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "development management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be backward-compatible? Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of research and development. It may seem confusing, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Without web-enabled deliverables, you will lack subscriber-defined, holistic seamless interfaces. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media aggregation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We often iterate enterprise 24/7 user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Think intra-C2B2B. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for coping with emerging infrastructures? Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of interfaces. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "global" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our social networks but our capability to empower. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 users and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We think that most real-time, long-term web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. We think we know that if you unleash micro-globally then you may also productize seamlessly. Sample Company has refactored the theory of CAD. We will engineer the power of infrastructures to visualize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2B2B ROI metrics and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for regulating unplanned-for real-world, B2B2C, client-focused obfuscation? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be sexy? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can engineer correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deploy correctly. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be viral? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? Think social-network-based. What does it really mean to brand "holistically"? At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to enable globally. We think we know that it is better to deploy cyber-holistically than to target efficiently. Think plug-and-play. Think B2B2C. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for handling unplanned-for communities? The data hygiene compliance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and VOIP. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to enable wirelessly. Without channels, you will lack convergence. We will add to our capacity to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to streamline. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Think proactive. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, user-defined portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix.