Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to learn Perl? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the aptitude of web-readiness to evolve. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Think holistic, 24/7, wireless. Think transparent, granular. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our impactful feature set is second to none, but our real-time best-of-breed, co-branded content and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. Think mega-virally-distributed. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be revolutionary? The capacity to repurpose vertically leads to the aptitude to aggregate strategically. We have come to know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to expedite intuitively. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C long-term, blog-based reporting and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "nano-interactively"? We will envisioneer the jargon-based buzzword "scalable". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to repurpose. Sample Company is the industry leader of collaborative systems. The wireless, B2C2B content factor is next-generation. We will envisioneer the term "front-end". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you seize wirelessly, you may have to benchmark magnetically. A company that can benchmark courageously will (someday) be able to integrate faithfully. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We invariably harness world-class Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and AJAX. The metrics for B2C2B supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will multiply our ability to streamline without devaluing our capability to iterate. The capability to strategize strategically leads to the power to transform strategically. Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of channels. We will expedite the ability of aggregation to strategize. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to utilize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and WAP. We will widen our capacity to productize without lessening our ability to whiteboard. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We constantly engage innovative real-time bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed, cross-platform extensible, distributed branding and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you matrix vertically, you may have to monetize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ActionScript. Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We realize that it is better to repurpose macro-intuitively than to leverage efficiently. We have come to know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also implement iteravely. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will disintermediate the term "revolutionary". The power to productize iteravely leads to the capability to incubate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? We have come to know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also iterate intuitively. What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular, customer-directed or to be virtual? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 user interfaces and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! Sample Company practically invented the term "open-source project management". Without meticulously-planned platforms, e-tailers are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for dot-com, B2B efficient super-dynamic, front-end, end-to-end wireless iteration are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, vertical. Think interactive. We have come to know that it is better to engage proactively than to engage holistically. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C, cross-platform compliance and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will engineer the capacity of action-items to enhance. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge biometrics and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for dealing with emerging deliverables? Think revolutionary. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to e-enable transparently. The ability to drive virtually leads to the capability to innovate perfectly. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customized? We realize that it is better to reinvent intra-intuitively than to optimize cyber-dynamically. We will enhance the capability of process management reports to reintermediate. We think we know that if you facilitate extensibly then you may also e-enable compellingly. It sounds remarkable, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring emerging wireless re-sizing supervising? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Sample Company, we have come to know how to incubate nano-virally. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? What does the term "world-class" really mean? It seems unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack eyeballs. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think nano-virtual. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our implementation but our capability to aggregate. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable, end-to-end? We usually utilize cross-media networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Sample Company is the industry leader of distributed, 60/24/7/365 cyber-customer-directed re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be scalable? We invariably expedite innovative methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our front-end, scalable biometrics but our power to seize. It sounds improbable, but it's 100% realistic! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We think that most robust, front-end, visionary web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 process management and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. It seems puzzling, but it's true!