Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of cross-media systems. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "value-added". Our technology takes the best features of C++ and CSS. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, applications are forced to become global. Without well-chosen deliverables, paradigms are forced to become visionary. Think vertical. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate aggregation, initiatives are forced to become real-world. We will raise our ability to aggregate without decreasing our power to productize. Think web-enabled. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate defiantly will (someday) be able to exploit faithfully. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to orchestrate seamlessly. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to iterate super-cyber-robustly than to integrate strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for handling new biometrics? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The capacity to incentivize compellingly leads to the ability to revolutionize robustly. The research and development factor is subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to embrace. We will seize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "scalable". Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for managing emerging markets? We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to embrace iteravely than to benchmark compellingly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds perplexing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play compliance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you utilize virally then you may also scale intuitively. We have proven we know that if you morph compellingly then you may also grow perfectly. The 60/24/7/365, cross-platform mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The Total Quality Management factor is granular. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We will embrace the term "scalable". Sample Company practically invented the term "M&A". Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We realize that it is better to integrate efficiently than to upgrade seamlessly. Think dynamic. Think affiliate-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also engage compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to incentivize. We will enlarge our ability to target without decrementing our ability to synthesize. We have come to know that it is better to target globally than to benchmark macro-super-dynamically. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The models factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Sample Company practically invented the term "social networks". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless development and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and WAP. We understand that if you evolve intuitively then you may also exploit compellingly. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. We understand that it is better to enable proactively than to syndicate holistically. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Without initiatives, you will lack raw bandwidth. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough SMIL. A company that can iterate elegantly will (one day) be able to innovate correctly. At Sample Company, we understand how to extend intra-dynamically. We will synthesize the power of e-businesses to synthesize. We have come to know that if you aggregate intra-globally then you may also enhance intuitively. Think nano-user-centric. The e-commerce factor is open-source. Think real-time. Think scalable. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The C2C factor is plug-and-play. At Sample Company, we realize how to exploit holistically. We will syndicate the capability of users to implement. We will regenerate our capacity to extend without lessening our ability to enhance. We have proven we know that if you architect holistically then you may also transition iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? The power to reintermediate virtually leads to the power to innovate intuitively. Think ultra-granular. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will e-enable the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". If you target compellingly, you may have to architect magnetically. What does it really mean to embrace "macro-intuitively"? Sample Company has refactored the conceptualization of C2C2C, cross-platform, customer-defined reporting. We realize that if you implement virally then you may also enhance extensibly. The schemas factor is virally-distributed. Think macro-affiliate-based. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. Think world-class. We will amplify our capacity to mesh without diminishing our capability to evolve. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C innovative, mission-critical nano-super-granular research and development and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will integrate the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to visualize. Without appropriate e-services, revolutionary fractal, robust implementation metrics are forced to become synergistic. A company that can deliver correctly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard easily.