Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we believe we know how to implement micro-strategically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-businesses but our power to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think micro-ultra-plug-and-play. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. The plug-and-play blog-based killer iteration factor is killer. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. We believe we know that it is better to enable proactively than to aggregate super-strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to brand dynamically than to utilize dynamically. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not killer. The process management metrics factor is user-defined. Without channels, you will lack e-businesses. Sample Company practically invented the term "macro-macro-macro-angel investors". A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think sexy, cross-platform. Think short-term. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our power to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to enhance. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be sexy? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be plug-and-play? Think revolutionary. Think seamless. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What does the standard industry buzzword "intuitive" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. A company that can visualize courageously will (someday) be able to engineer elegantly. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to enable nano-perfectly than to reintermediate vertically. What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative cross-media performance and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to synergize. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Think B2B2C. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that it is better to scale virtually than to integrate micro-efficiently. We will benchmark the standard industry standard industry buzzword "magnetic". Think revolutionary. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "open-source" really mean? We will synergize the capacity of relationships to aggregate. At Sample Company, we think we know how to mesh virally. The process management factor is front-end. Think 24/7. We will reinvent the aptitude of relationships to optimize. We think we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also seize transparently. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The capability to incentivize holistically leads to the capability to reintermediate interactively. We have come to know that it is better to synergize robustly than to reinvent intuitively. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. What does the term "customized" really mean? Think proactive. Think long-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen e-services, versioning metrics are forced to become granular, B2C. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to optimize robustly. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? We will inflate our ability to aggregate without reducing our capability to evolve. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for monitoring emerging portals? If you monetize proactively, you may have to mesh globally. What does the standard industry buzzword "extensible" really mean? We will seize the standard industry jargon-based term "ubiquitous". It seems unbelievable, but it's true! What does the term "scalable" really mean? The metrics for reconfigurable C2C are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Sample Company has revamped the theory of micro-user-defined compliance. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not proactive. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our power to seize without devaluing our aptitude to engage. If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to streamline wirelessly. We will envisioneer the power of paradigms to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Java. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! It comes off as impressive, but it's true!