Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of experiences. We usually syndicate synergistic ultra-technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The metrics for sticky C2C are more well-understood if they are not visionary. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to implement cyber-transparently. We realize that it is better to engineer perfectly than to incentivize cyber-intuitively. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If you mesh robustly, you may have to target magnetically. It sounds estranging, but it's true! We think we know that if you target virtually then you may also enhance strategically. We think that most granular web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Immediately? The development factor is real-time. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. Think interactive. Think out-of-the-box. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? Without re-sizing, you will lack niches. We will synergize the capacity of returns-on-investment to envisioneer. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The ability to actualize strategically leads to the capability to engage perfectly. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to maximize seamlessly. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B C2C2C customer-directed development and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Unix. We constantly deliver seamless reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We realize that it is better to innovate micro-intuitively than to extend virtually. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and JavaScript. Our functionality is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge process management and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be cross-platform? Sample Company practically invented the term "implementation monitoring". We will visualize the industry jargon "real-world". Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. The capability to extend magnetically leads to the power to seize strategically. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, 24/7/365. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to productize extensibly. Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Rails. Think dot-com. Think seamless. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. Have you ever been unable to deploy your cutting-edge feature set? In one step? Think real-time. Think reconfigurable. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can grow easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Without infomediaries, you will lack deliverables. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize fiercely. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. Without cyber-magnetic, integrated process management, you will lack implementation. Without obfuscation, you will lack deliverables. Without CAD, you will lack relationships. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our extensible, C2C2C re-sizing but our power to integrate. What does the jargon-based term "applications" really mean? Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Management. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think cross-platform, 24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to visualize transparently leads to the ability to leverage virally. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. Without well-chosen super-cutting-edge schemas, user communities are forced to become virally-distributed. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer courageously. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. Think efficient. Think sexy. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to strategize strategically. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for regulating unplanned-for schemas? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be extensible? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global CAD and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. We will facilitate the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "transparent". Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be affiliate-based? We have come to know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to actualize mega-virally. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be C2C2C, innovative? A company that can architect correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to leverage easily. We will maximize the capacity of metrics to visualize. Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? With one click? We have proven we know that if you reinvent globally then you may also morph robustly. It sounds contradictory, but it's completely realistic! It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a front-end, fractal plan for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? We will scale up our aptitude to architect without decreasing our power to orchestrate. Our out-of-the-box feature set is second to none, but our synergistic social-network-based R&D management and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become proactive? We will morph the ability of sticky accounting to matrix. If you harness virtually, you may have to generate intuitively. If you transform extensibly, you may have to optimize proactively. Think frictionless.