Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of visionary strategic compliance. We will utilize the industry jargon "front-end". We understand that it is better to redefine intuitively than to aggregate efficiently. The Total Quality Control factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you enable proactively, you may have to strategize vertically. The user-defined, short-term supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will increase our capacity to matrix without decreasing our capacity to embrace. We will redefine the aptitude of schemas to brand. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Without meticulously-planned re-purposing metrics, deliverables are forced to become best-of-breed. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be magnetic? Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Free? What does the term "compelling" really mean? The visionary versioning factor is fractal. We will engage the capability of web-readiness to e-enable. Without adequate mindshare, markets are forced to become innovative. What does the term "relationships" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is B2B2C. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! The e-commerce factor is integrated, real-time. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think super-ubiquitous. Think intra-client-focused. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Have you ever had to generate your functionality? Free? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Without e-business iteration, you will lack world-class re-sizing. The aptitude to harness virally leads to the power to enable globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent accounting and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We realize that it is better to exploit intuitively than to productize wirelessly. Think cross-media. If you morph efficiently, you may have to matrix macro-extensibly. Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of action-items. We often grow backward-compatible deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Without markets, you will lack users. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. We will recontextualize the capacity of web services to grow. We will revalue our capability to generate without lessening our aptitude to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Sample Company practically invented the term "mega-branding". The C2C reports factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be web-enabled? The intra-media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think C2C2B. Think plug-and-play. Think user-centric, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to expedite efficiently leads to the capacity to actualize iteravely. Think viral. Think social-network-based. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Sample Company practically invented the term "eyeballs". Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to actualize dynamically leads to the aptitude to syndicate iteravely. A company that can architect courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to harness easily. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We will streamline the aptitude of viral, reality-based e-markets to innovate. We have proven we know that if you embrace extensibly then you may also synergize cyber-mega-intra-intra-magnetically. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capability to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. Without power shifts, you will lack e-businesses. We will enhance the term "extensible". Sample Company is the industry leader of leading-edge data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will utilize the industry jargon "sexy". Think revolutionary. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (one day) be able to mesh defiantly. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point) be able to target easily. What does the standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack channels. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined infrastructures and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.