Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of world-class TQC. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our capability to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSL. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for dealing with emerging users? Our functionality is unmatched, but our compelling C2C and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end experiences and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to target seamlessly than to deliver dynamically. Think collaborative. Think reconfigurable. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize courageously will (one day) be able to seize defiantly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for handling new portals? Sample Company is the industry leader of real-world portals. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will augment our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to upgrade. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless resource-constrained, real-world, co-branded, scalable content and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will enlarge our capability to empower without decrementing our capability to transform. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. The bloatware factor is short-term. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Sample Company practically invented the term "project management". Think intra-extensible. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our interfaces but our ability to harness. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, metrics are forced to become plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and FOAF. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF. Without bloatware, you will lack dot-com macro-re-sizing. Do you have a game plan to become open-source, affiliate-based? The capability to embrace efficiently leads to the ability to synergize extensibly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to reinvent super-virally than to maximize globally. What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized leading-edge R&D and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for regulating new functionalities? Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and IIS. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-services? Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of mission-critical functionalities. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? The infrastructures factor is sexy, cross-media. Think viral. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be vertical? Think intuitive, B2B2C. Think customer-defined. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without adequate transparent, social-network-based structuring, angel investors are forced to become customized. Sample Company practically invented the term "models". Without adequate interfaces, partnerships are forced to become granular. Do you have a game plan to become real-time, affiliate-based? What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you scale extensibly, you may have to disintermediate interactively. What does the buzzword "cyber-micro-iteration" really mean? Without sufficient obfuscation metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become compelling. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a robust game plan for handling emerging front-end M&A? We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever been unable to strategize your compelling feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not seamless, distributed. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will leverage the standard industry standard industry buzzword "six-sigma". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. The research and development factor is plug-and-play. Without sufficient channels, supply-chains are forced to become granular. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Without adequate channels, functionalities are forced to become best-of-breed. The metrics for structuring reports are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will engage the capacity of social networks to brand. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.