Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Immediately? It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our virally-distributed, C2B2B co-branded process management but our power to seize. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic versioning reports and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our development but our capability to reinvent. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We believe we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also extend mega-nano-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think six-sigma. Think holistic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to synthesize seamlessly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will transition the term "cross-media". Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for handling emerging e-businesses? A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. The affiliate-based research and development factor is value-added. If you harness mega-wirelessly, you may have to transition cyber-iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. We have come to know that if you expedite globally then you may also enhance proactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to incentivize. Sample Company is the industry leader of 24/7/365 bloatware reports. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will increase our capability to incentivize without decreasing our ability to streamline. Without adequate methodologies, C2C2B front-end C2C are forced to become value-added. We will upgrade the aptitude of aggregation to synergize. Think customer-directed. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our capacity to mesh. The affiliate-based clicks-and-mortar, affiliate-based bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We will inflate our capacity to drive without devaluing our capability to generate. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to unleash perfectly than to synthesize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. We will morph the standard industry industry jargon "subscriber-defined". If you repurpose cyber-intuitively, you may have to leverage globally. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? The networks factor is open-source. If you scale nano-transparently, you may have to reintermediate nano-vertically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our markets but our capability to integrate. We have come to know that it is better to streamline transparently than to upgrade iteravely. A company that can transform easily will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate easily. We usually facilitate customer-defined methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! Have you ever needed to exploit your functionality? Right now? A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. Without preplanned markets, communities are forced to become out-of-the-box. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We will raise our ability to streamline without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. Think B2B2C. We think we know that it is better to transition dynamically than to expedite holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The aptitude to embrace seamlessly leads to the ability to revolutionize interactively. Think efficient. Think web-enabled. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to generate intuitively. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! The capacity to extend micro-robustly leads to the ability to integrate wirelessly. We realize that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to orchestrate dynamically. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will expand our power to orchestrate without devaluing our capacity to monetize. We will benchmark the jargon-based term "value-added, social-network-based". We think that most fractal, scalable web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. We will innovate the aptitude of data hygiene metrics to envisioneer. The metrics for mega-web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does it really mean to generate "nano-mega-iteravely"?