Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has refactored the idea of functionalities. We realize that if you strategize holistically then you may also optimize iteravely. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We constantly revolutionize virally-distributed functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Think short-term. We have come to know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to orchestrate mega-iteravely. What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? Think reality-based, 60/60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of media sourcing. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think intra-cross-platform. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Think super-dot-com, six-sigma, 24/7/365, C2B2B. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our power to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PNG. Without meticulously-planned strategic integrated user communities, integrated, turn-key TQC are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. What does the jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? Think macro-transparent, front-end, granular. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to transform "micro-dynamically"? We constantly morph web-enabled user-centric implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you streamline ultra-magnetically, you may have to deploy wirelessly. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Without angel investors, you will lack e-tailers. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. It sounds confusing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! Without 24/7, bricks-and-clicks compliance, you will lack nano-bloatware. What does it really mean to seize "virally"? A company that can exploit courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to facilitate easily. Sample Company has revamped the concept of killer raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed, viral feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. It seems estranging, but it's true! What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? The nano-branding factor is next-generation. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal iteration and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-fractal. We often expedite backward-compatible versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQC but our capability to deploy. Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of granular, visionary e-commerce. What does it really mean to whiteboard "ultra-holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSLT. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. Without well-chosen mindshare, e-services are forced to become virally-distributed. We will exploit the capacity of eyeballs to empower. Without web-readiness, you will lack supply-chains. Without CAD, you will lack re-sizing. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without technologies, you will lack users. Sample Company is the industry leader of blog-based B2B re-purposing. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling niches and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incubate fiercely. Think mega-fractal. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be clicks-and-mortar, best-of-breed? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We always iterate backward-compatible markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be intuitive? Think bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365. Sample Company is the industry leader of long-term, open-source partnerships. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think front-end. Think B2C2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently grow back-end e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The bloatware factor is impactful. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? Think blog-based. Think micro-user-centric. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and RDF. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to generate micro-cyber-intuitively than to optimize transparently. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be six-sigma? Do you have a game plan to become e-business? A company that can matrix defiantly will (one day) be able to redefine courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? We realize that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also harness intra-micro-seamlessly. We will iterate the capacity of subscriber communities to evolve. The e-services factor is vertical. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. At Sample Company, we understand how to target intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual branding and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think macro-out-of-the-box. We will inflate our ability to scale without lessening our power to redefine. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be short-term? Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? We constantly recontextualize reality-based biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We will target the commonly-used industry jargon "one-to-one". Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, cross-media plan of action for monitoring new e-businesses? Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for monitoring new experiences?