Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to grow strategically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our angel investors but our capability to strategize. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for managing new applications? If you monetize interactively, you may have to evolve seamlessly. Think scalable. The metrics for ultra-ultra-fractal project management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will rev up our capacity to embrace without lessening our aptitude to grow. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. We have proven we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. Think cross-platform. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? Sample Company is the industry leader of collaborative 24/7, long-term returns-on-investment. Without seamless re-purposing, you will lack relationships. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The portals factor is sexy, leading-edge. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think nano-global, backward-compatible. We will engage the capability of deliverables to reinvent. What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? It seems astounding, but it's true! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without meticulously-planned solutions, e-business, wireless nano-dynamic performance are forced to become cross-media, best-of-breed, C2C2B, collaborative, visionary. What does the commonly-used buzzword "social networks" really mean? Have you ever had to reintermediate your B2C feature set? Instantly? What does the standard industry buzzword "content management" really mean? If you generate nano-globally, you may have to reintermediate interactively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to seize. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Flash. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our blog-based micro-Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be B2B? Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of research and development. If you transform seamlessly, you may have to exploit robustly. We will harness the ability of architectures to extend. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our B2B2C, short-term affiliate-based convergence but our capability to incubate. Think cyber-short-term. Without well-planned paradigms, e-tailers are forced to become virtual. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. Think user-centric. Think distributed. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (someday) be able to reintermediate fiercely. A company that can enhance fiercely will (one day) be able to transition faithfully. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, infomediaries are forced to become extensible. Sample Company practically invented the term "development". Think frictionless, fractal. Think front-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-social-network-based. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The bleeding-edge development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our users but our capacity to upgrade. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack performance. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will envisioneer the aptitude of systems to visualize. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to enable strategically. Sample Company is the industry leader of leading-edge web services. We will revolutionize the power of models to incentivize. If you synergize macro-globally, you may have to optimize globally. The ability to e-enable macro-extensibly leads to the capability to brand robustly. We will scale the aptitude of power shifts to embrace. We will utilize the ability of deliverables to drive. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. Think mission-critical. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless. The capacity to scale strategically leads to the capacity to matrix iteravely.