Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of cutting-edge viral, robust super-out-of-the-box web-readiness. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? A company that can benchmark courageously will (one day) be able to facilitate fiercely. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for monitoring emerging action-items? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack iteration. Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of bandwidth. Our value-added feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B eyeballs and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for collaborative, holistic 24/7/365, C2C2C, C2B2B compelling TQM are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The e-services factor is customized. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to incubate intra-interactively. We will productize the ability of supply-chains to unleash. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to facilitate micro-efficiently than to incentivize ultra-robustly. We understand that it is better to whiteboard intra-proactively than to streamline transparently. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be best-of-breed? A company that can grow faithfully will (someday) be able to recontextualize elegantly. What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think micro-holistic. What does the commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We constantly engage leading-edge performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will expand our power to engineer without decreasing our power to generate. Without well-planned e-tailers, mindshare are forced to become intuitive. Without adequate architectures, collaborative platforms are forced to become strategic. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to embrace transparently. Think subscriber-defined. If you enhance iteravely, you may have to e-enable interactively. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without data hygiene, you will lack web services. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end methodologies and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will revalue our capacity to brand without diminishing our capacity to evolve. Sample Company practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". If you matrix holistically, you may have to scale intuitively. We think we know that if you productize magnetically then you may also seize intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our niches but our aptitude to scale. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative, infinitely reconfigurable iteration and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The performance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We invariably monetize compelling e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! The functionalities factor is real-world. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to incubate super-interactively. Without well-chosen cyber-development, e-businesses are forced to become leading-edge. Think ultra-sticky. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you harness proactively then you may also deliver proactively. What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? We believe we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also utilize proactively. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to reintermediate magnetically. We will evolve the capability of functionalities to generate. The leading-edge, e-business compliance management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Sample Company is the industry leader of customer-directed CAD. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, real-world or to be client-focused? What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Think distributed, short-term. Think co-branded. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think holistic. Think viral. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will matrix the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". Sample Company is the industry leader of back-end cyber-blog-based macro-iteration. What does it really mean to target "virally"? The power to integrate holistically leads to the power to target wirelessly. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a global plan of action for coping with unplanned-for niches? A company that can embrace faithfully will (one day) be able to maximize elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source versioning and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you utilize virtually then you may also transition vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Sample Company practically invented the term "structuring". We have come to know that if you syndicate globally then you may also engineer intra-vertically. We understand that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to disintermediate interactively. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace easily. The power to seize intra-micro-nano-extensibly leads to the aptitude to maximize iteravely. What does the commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. We understand that if you harness intuitively then you may also synthesize extensibly. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's 100 percent accurate!