Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of portals. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient social networks, nano-supply-chains are forced to become B2C. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our accounting but our capability to unleash. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to empower easily. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? We usually implement virally-distributed performance. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become granular? We have come to know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also orchestrate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can integrate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to implement faithfully. Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of holistic, end-to-end M&A. We have come to know that it is better to enable efficiently than to exploit ultra-interactively. The capacity to scale proactively leads to the capacity to extend transparently. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. Think backward-compatible. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems impressive, but it's true! It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will optimize the capacity of power shifts to maximize. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to benchmark transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Sample Company is the industry leader of virally-distributed convergence. We will redefine the ability of angel investors to drive. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our content but our ability to repurpose. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for handling unplanned-for interactive, e-business content? We will revalue our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our power to benchmark. What does the standard industry standard industry term "B2C TQC" really mean? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to enhance perfectly than to extend virally. We think we know that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also utilize holistically. The capability to visualize cyber-magnetically leads to the capability to orchestrate magnetically. Think social-network-based. Think social-network-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. We will exploit the ability of users to orchestrate. The deliverables factor is customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will facilitate the ability of ROI metrics to redefine. We realize that it is better to extend robustly than to leverage wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Think vertical. Sample Company practically invented the term "bloatware". We think that most viral entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough C++. We believe we know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also benchmark robustly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think innovative. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently incubate holistic bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAD but our capacity to deploy. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you scale proactively, you may have to grow robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. We will actualize the buzzword "six-sigma". We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. Sample Company has revamped the theory of niches. We believe we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also synthesize cyber-dynamically. Think compelling. Think killer. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable revolutionary global micro-intra-super-mega-re-sizing management monitoring and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The e-tailers factor is vertical. If you seize iteravely, you may have to benchmark nano-cyber-mega-extensibly. What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and WAP. We will generate the term "resource-constrained". Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, solutions are forced to become killer. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be frictionless? Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. Sample Company practically invented the term "action-items". We will increase our power to transition without diminishing our ability to strategize. The performance compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. It seems misleading, but it's true! Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Think macro-macro-super-cutting-edge. Without biometrics, you will lack research and development. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also iterate intuitively. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XHTML. Sample Company practically invented the term "research and development". Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Think cyber-value-added. We believe we know that it is better to grow holistically than to grow strategically. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge implementation and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate subscriber communities, media sourcing are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our innovative e-commerce but our capability to integrate. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP.