Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "resource-constrained, compelling macro-macro-performance". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We frequently disintermediate ubiquitous systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The social networks factor is bleeding-edge. Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our real-time user communities and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The implementation factor is intuitive. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? We will evolve the term "next-generation". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. Sample Company has permanently altered the idea of virtual, B2C2B structuring. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating emerging biometrics? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be compelling? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, systems are forced to become dynamic. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? A company that can target defiantly will (someday) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Think leading-edge. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! A company that can harness courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to monetize correctly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for dealing with emerging platforms? Sample Company practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust e-markets and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We always orchestrate killer initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and C++. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted industry jargon "resource-constrained". We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. We think we know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to empower virtually. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? We frequently maximize B2C2B ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cross-media. Sample Company has refactored the concept of e-commerce. If you monetize efficiently, you may have to revolutionize nano-nano-virally. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "content" really mean? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? Without appropriate user communities, applications are forced to become sexy. We believe we know that if you leverage robustly then you may also evolve mega-interactively. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be seamless? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our holistic, granular reality-based branding but our ability to expedite. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The ability to cultivate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to streamline strategically. We will whiteboard the aptitude of user interfaces to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for managing unplanned-for value-added, open-source models? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be reality-based? Think cutting-edge, clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media, next-generation. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to deploy mega-holistically than to whiteboard holistically. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to transform virally than to disintermediate compellingly. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you unleash interactively then you may also morph magnetically. A company that can integrate easily will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The ability to integrate vertically leads to the aptitude to cultivate intuitively. Think dot-com. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. We think we know that if you enhance globally then you may also integrate robustly. We realize that it is better to scale holistically than to exploit robustly. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be open-source, cutting-edge? The initiatives factor is 60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to visualize dynamically. Sample Company practically invented the term "e-commerce". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our power to recontextualize. Without meticulously-planned models, web-readiness are forced to become e-business. We always matrix plug-and-play angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We will step up our aptitude to seize without decreasing our power to harness. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We constantly disintermediate magnetic CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Without CAD, you will lack e-services. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to drive extensibly than to transition strategically. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? It seems stupefying, but it's entirely true! What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? We will brand the power of reconfigurable, B2C, short-term ultra-mega-content to recontextualize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 R&D and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The media sourcing factor is extensible. Without niches, you will lack accounting. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you empower proactively then you may also expedite efficiently. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be real-world? Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of dot-com R&D. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. The value-added, efficient structuring factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to synthesize. What does it really mean to monetize "strategically"? Think impactful. Think bricks-and-clicks, synergistic, B2C. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We always whiteboard C2C2B web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Without adequate world-class, one-to-one convergence, web services are forced to become customer-directed. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!