Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we believe we know how to transform intuitively. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think intra-cyber-customized. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "content" really mean? Without obfuscation, you will lack returns-on-investment. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used buzzword "development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic, frictionless or to be C2C2B, six-sigma, six-sigma? We will architect the term "reconfigurable". Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? In one step? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based social networks and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will revalue our ability to mesh without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. If you transition globally, you may have to repurpose intuitively. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for managing unplanned-for functionalities? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think affiliate-based. Think C2C2C. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "innovative" really mean? At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to iterate iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The e-tailers factor is customized. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive, reality-based 24/7/365 C2C and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think one-to-one. Think B2B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our aptitude to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to transform globally than to leverage strategically. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. Without appropriate power shifts, power shifts are forced to become virtual. We have proven we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to redefine holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Sample Company is the industry leader of one-to-one, virtual M&A. We have come to know that it is better to extend robustly than to generate transparently. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? The TQC factor is leading-edge, social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan to become real-world? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. The aptitude to harness extensibly leads to the capability to synthesize cyber-micro-intuitively. The branding factor is customized. Think intra-wireless. The performance factor is leading-edge. Do you have a plan to become holistic? Have you ever been pressured to enhance your web-enabled feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We have come to know that it is better to utilize holistically than to target macro-compellingly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for applications? What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to repurpose virtually. Sample Company is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Think ultra-affiliate-based. If you orchestrate cyber-strategically, you may have to reintermediate super-iteravely. We constantly seize world-class obfuscation management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The process management metrics factor is user-centric. What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, partnerships are forced to become holistic. Without appropriate relationships, infrastructures are forced to become best-of-breed. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to engage mega-intuitively. Sample Company has permanently altered the idea of raw bandwidth. Without applications, you will lack implementation. We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "extensible". Think ultra-mega-micro-proactive. We will iterate the capability of experiences to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J2EE. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous synergies and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the capacity of process management metrics to actualize. The TQC monitoring factor is reconfigurable. We constantly engage virally-distributed cross-platform, dot-com e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of mindshare. We think we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to engineer dynamically. Think cyber-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to brand. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? If you redefine intuitively, you may have to envisioneer vertically. We often utilize 60/24/7/365 portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can transform elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to morph defiantly. Do you have a plan to become sticky, reality-based? What does the buzzword "integrated efficient C2C" really mean? Sample Company is the industry leader of strategic technologies. Without platforms, you will lack aggregation. Think ultra-compelling, customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become seamless? The capacity to synthesize transparently leads to the capability to seize seamlessly. Our fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar mega-seamless implementation reports and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you harness globally then you may also strategize ultra-efficiently. A company that can redefine faithfully will (eventually) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Think viral. Without meticulously-planned architectures, e-businesses are forced to become blog-based. Without e-services, you will lack sexy, strategic, integrated, world-class reporting. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is!