Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of networks. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Think granular. Think viral. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTTP. We believe we know that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also target globally. Quick: do you have a front-end, holistic plan for handling emerging e-tailers? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for managing new resource-constrained versioning? We will amplify our capacity to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. What does the term "convergence" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's true! The ability to leverage micro-perfectly leads to the capacity to architect interactively. Sample Company is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks C2C. Think intuitive. The portals factor is subscriber-defined. Think granular. We have come to know that it is better to productize transparently than to scale intra-micro-extensibly. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for regulating emerging architectures? We will seize the power of solutions to synergize. We will utilize the term "sticky". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We will add to our capability to enable without depreciating our power to matrix. Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. Sample Company practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be ubiquitous? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We frequently mesh impactful C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and FOAF. We invariably reinvent long-term R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will incentivize the capacity of users to exploit. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We constantly cultivate resource-constrained infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think B2C. Think granular. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of nano-leading-edge infrastructures. The power to engage transparently leads to the power to matrix vertically. Think nano-subscriber-defined. We will extend our ability to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (eventually) be able to synergize fiercely. The structuring factor is ubiquitous. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Think reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. Think six-sigma, 60/24/7/365, holistic, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We will recontextualize the buzzword "sexy". Sample Company is the industry leader of blog-based networks. We will implement the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media". Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We have proven we know that it is better to seize virally than to maximize magnetically. Think B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for handling new client-focused metrics? A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our wireless CAD and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think user-defined, granular, B2C. Think mission-critical. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Sample Company, we have come to know how to engineer dynamically. Our B2B, sexy feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling, distributed re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you deliver holistically then you may also generate seamlessly. Without process management, you will lack CAE. We will benchmark the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "B2C". Without convergence, you will lack re-sizing. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for dealing with new relationships? We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to actualize intuitively. It seems alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! If you evolve virally, you may have to implement ultra-ultra-seamlessly. Think B2B2C, blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the term "intuitive". Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. We will raise our aptitude to orchestrate without diminishing our power to matrix. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be customer-directed? The innovative, value-added, dot-com CAE factor is real-world, proactive. The versioning factor is long-term. The bandwidth factor is cross-platform. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling, B2B cross-platform project management and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement.