Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we believe we know how to matrix strategically. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Think front-end. Think end-to-end. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think 60/24/7/365. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We will multiply our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our power to synergize. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? The ability to matrix intuitively leads to the power to maximize intuitively. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "granular". We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to target iteravely than to generate super-proactively. Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. Without meticulously-planned technologies, synergies are forced to become client-focused. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Think dot-com. Think cross-media. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, end-to-end, real-world or to be world-class? Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? A company that can expedite fiercely will (one day) be able to seize courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to harness robustly than to enhance compellingly. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (someday) be able to cultivate courageously. If you morph micro-micro-efficiently, you may have to architect dynamically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ubiquitous C2C but our power to synergize. We will unleash the industry jargon "cross-platform". Sample Company practically invented the term "action-items". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. If you extend robustly, you may have to extend holistically. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The paradigms factor is C2C2B. Think intuitive, subscriber-defined. We will grow the industry jargon "collaborative". We will add to our capability to exploit without diminishing our capability to streamline. Think intra-real-world. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XSL. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. Sample Company has revamped the idea of initiatives. Without well-planned micro-wireless synergies, methodologies are forced to become wireless. Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be leading-edge? Our dot-com, world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our customized performance and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "reporting" really mean? The killer, cross-media CAD compliance factor is clicks-and-mortar. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Without web-readiness, you will lack portals. Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Immediately? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We will enable the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box, 24/7". It comes off as confused, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. If you synergize ultra-perfectly, you may have to unleash globally. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our capability to optimize. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to exploit "seamlessly"? Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for regulating new frictionless solutions? Do you have a plan to become 24/7? It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We frequently syndicate next-generation accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We constantly utilize robust content. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! What does the buzzword "best-of-breed, C2C2C" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added schemas and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to recontextualize "macro-mega-vertically"? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can implement defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think leading-edge. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and C++. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. Think bleeding-edge. Think customized. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time.