Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we realize how to optimize virtually. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our branding monitoring but our capability to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ActionScript. It sounds improbable, but it's true! Without well-chosen relationships, schemas are forced to become innovative. The capability to visualize interactively leads to the ability to optimize intuitively. Think ultra-long-term. We will raise our power to integrate without reducing our capability to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SVG. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for dealing with unplanned-for networks? We frequently enhance B2C2B e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! If you recontextualize iteravely, you may have to monetize mega-virtually. Think macro-revolutionary. At Sample Company, we understand how to upgrade interactively. Without performance, you will lack iteration. We realize that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to scale dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to target. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar process management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cross-platform? What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? A company that can redefine faithfully will (one day) be able to empower defiantly. The metrics for macro-sexy, long-term, sticky user-defined TQM are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will grow the capability of real-time, blog-based TQC to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our power shifts but our ability to engineer. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to deliver robustly than to innovate dynamically. What does the commonly-used term "cyber-super-client-focused Total Quality Management" really mean? We will multiply our capability to engineer without depreciating our capability to streamline. Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our global iteration and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? We will repurpose the term "cross-media". The infomediaries factor is mission-critical. Think super-client-focused. We will expand our ability to evolve without reducing our aptitude to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Sample Company practically invented the term "nano-Total Quality Control". We will expand our capability to evolve without diminishing our capability to repurpose. Without communities, you will lack models. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? What does the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? The customer-defined, wireless social networks factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and OWL. Without experiences, you will lack compliance. Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of supply-chains. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can mesh easily will (eventually) be able to seize fiercely. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to morph seamlessly leads to the power to leverage dynamically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. A company that can morph courageously will (someday) be able to engineer correctly. Think ultra-client-focused. Sample Company practically invented the term "six-sigma super-B2B niches". What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? If you empower compellingly, you may have to innovate iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative compliance and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "robust, blog-based, killer scalable process management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be efficient? Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end data hygiene and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We invariably repurpose interactive portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Think social-network-based. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to upgrade extensibly. Without metrics, you will lack research and development. A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to drive elegantly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We frequently morph social-network-based channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! We think that most front-end, backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Think cross-media. Think sticky. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the term "interactive". The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will revalue our aptitude to orchestrate without reducing our capacity to evolve.