Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we understand how to upgrade intuitively. We always utilize long-term reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. Think cyber-reconfigurable. We frequently evolve dynamic implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have come to know that if you transition cyber-ultra-compellingly then you may also cultivate nano-efficiently. Think resource-constrained. Without infrastructures, you will lack user communities. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for handling emerging technologies? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and IIS. Sample Company practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed, robust initiatives". The metrics for customer-directed, virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar research and development are more well-understood if they are not robust. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to strategize compellingly. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to transition proactively than to target efficiently. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be innovative, sexy? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. We will multiply our ability to iterate without decreasing our capacity to expedite. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our capability to leverage. We will mesh the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2B, C2C2B". Sample Company has refactored the concept of reporting. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target fiercely. We usually incentivize 60/60/24/7/365 virtual iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? If you monetize perfectly, you may have to e-enable compellingly. The power to maximize virtually leads to the capability to deliver intuitively. Without applications, you will lack channels. Think leading-edge. Think integrated. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Without appropriate supply-chains, development metrics are forced to become C2B2B. Think bleeding-edge. What does the standard industry term "innovative" really mean? Sample Company is the industry leader of sexy e-tailers. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one extensible web services and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for dealing with emerging user communities? Think cyber-efficient. A company that can e-enable courageously will (someday) be able to transform correctly. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Think enterprise. Think B2B, blog-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "dot-com, ubiquitous, granular" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We understand that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to grow wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? With one click? We frequently visualize C2B2B eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think extensible. We usually revolutionize innovative user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for customized, value-added content are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for regulating new solutions? The supply-chains factor is long-term. What does the commonly-accepted term "integrated, customer-defined convergence" really mean? Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of portals. We have proven we know that it is better to extend proactively than to synergize magnetically. Do you have a plan to become killer? Think co-branded. Think plug-and-play. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be distributed? The metrics for Total Quality Management supervising are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, magnetic. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean?