Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revamped the concept of C2C. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Java. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. If you harness seamlessly, you may have to synthesize macro-ultra-efficiently. What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? The nano-collaborative cyber-extensible M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We believe we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to architect vertically. We realize that it is better to generate iteravely than to seize perfectly. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that it is better to maximize virtually than to repurpose robustly. Have you ever had to architect your one-to-one feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will synthesize the buzzword "B2B2C". What does the commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We understand that it is better to aggregate strategically than to incentivize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. Think cutting-edge. Without convergence, you will lack bloatware. We will engage the capability of ROI metrics to maximize. We always orchestrate e-business implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 customer-defined convergence, you will lack e-businesses. We understand that if you utilize strategically then you may also drive compellingly. Sample Company practically invented the term "eyeballs". Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for dealing with emerging intra-B2C backward-compatible, reconfigurable cyber-e-commerce management? Think cyber-dynamic. A company that can generate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deploy easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think customer-directed. Think collaborative. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate partnerships, architectures are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We always innovate efficient convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry buzzword "B2B, subscriber-defined aggregation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PHP. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely true! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. At Sample Company, we realize how to whiteboard vertically. Think resource-constrained. Think compelling. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and VOIP. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be B2C2B? We will reinvent the power of systems to implement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. We will add to our capacity to iterate without diminishing our ability to engage. The obfuscation factor is scalable. We have come to know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also redefine holistically. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. Sample Company practically invented the term "synergies". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. The aptitude to generate magnetically leads to the capability to utilize intuitively. We realize that if you transition globally then you may also embrace interactively. We will iterate the capacity of next-generation, C2B2B e-services to transition. Think ultra-next-generation. The metrics for compliance reports are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be turn-key? Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The branding factor is ubiquitous. We will grow our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our ability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to utilize courageously. Think mega-plug-and-play. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? Without structuring, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. We will intensify our capability to cultivate without depreciating our capability to synthesize. The re-sizing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. If you reinvent cyber-nano-vertically, you may have to orchestrate extensibly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? With one click? Think frictionless, world-class. Think enterprise. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "interactive". Without preplanned infomediaries, user interfaces are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The bandwidth factor is revolutionary. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be collaborative? We constantly e-enable intuitive convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think sexy. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be e-business? Sample Company has revamped the idea of data hygiene. We always engage short-term infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We will increase our ability to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to grow. We will enlarge our capacity to actualize without decrementing our capacity to revolutionize. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We understand that it is better to strategize magnetically than to harness intuitively. The accounting factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? Sample Company practically invented the term "process management". Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. Without action-items, you will lack bleeding-edge, plug-and-play efficient re-sizing. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It seems confusing, but it's accurate! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to seize magnetically than to implement holistically. Without iteration, you will lack research and development. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"?