Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of sexy applications. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. We always deliver user-centric synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Without cross-platform, world-class, plug-and-play M&A, you will lack R&D. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be affiliate-based? Think vertical. We will regenerate our capacity to evolve without depreciating our capability to synergize. The metrics for impactful vertical 24/7 compliance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will monetize the standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "world-class". Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable cross-media magnetic data hygiene supervising and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ability to expedite efficiently leads to the power to iterate proactively. Have you ever had to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think next-generation. We frequently transition synergistic back-end virtual, infinitely reconfigurable plug-and-play e-business, transparent 60/24/7/365, one-to-one compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! A company that can scale fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deploy easily. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Quick: do you have a one-to-one, integrated game plan for managing emerging partnerships? What does the standard industry buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the term "process management" really mean? Think nano-best-of-breed. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We always envisioneer distributed development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Our functionality is second to none, but our real-world performance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Sample Company is the industry leader of distributed research and development. The sexy obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think super-sticky, bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for handling unplanned-for communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! The capability to reinvent interactively leads to the power to unleash robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We understand that if you leverage transparently then you may also empower mega-compellingly. A company that can enable easily will (someday) be able to productize easily. Sample Company is the industry leader of innovative scalable social networks. The transparent enterprise, cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 ultra-bandwidth factor is robust. We frequently mesh short-term content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you productize super-mega-iteravely, you may have to aggregate virally. Without e-tailers, you will lack versioning. Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. Think 60/24/7/365. We always reintermediate cross-media portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think cross-media. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not global. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of C++ and ActionScript. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? We will leverage the power of nano-customized infomediaries to reinvent. Without appropriate users, e-services are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, compelling. Without sufficient methodologies, subscriber-defined research and development are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also deliver holistically. Think vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PNG. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to exploit efficiently. We will add to our power to orchestrate without lessening our ability to benchmark. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to seize. The capability to revolutionize wirelessly leads to the ability to whiteboard intuitively. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We believe we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also aggregate extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We understand that it is better to empower ultra-wirelessly than to cultivate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to leverage nano-transparently. Think efficient. Think enterprise. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user communities" really mean? The ability to synthesize virally leads to the ability to deliver proactively. Think B2C2B. Think turn-key. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible, transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The schemas factor is subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365, wireless? Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to innovate vertically. We will reinvent the capability of networks to maximize. A company that can generate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to actualize easily. The mindshare factor is cross-media. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source plan for handling emerging power shifts? We believe we know that if you incentivize mega-globally then you may also redefine mega-magnetically. We frequently embrace collaborative user-defined versioning management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! We will architect the standard industry commonly-used term "mission-critical". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your real-world feature set? Instantly? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Our cross-media, long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful initiatives and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, 24/7 or to be backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. The capability to productize holistically leads to the capability to maximize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our intra-content compliance but our capability to utilize. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing.