Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has refactored the idea of portals. We will seize the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. We will monetize the aptitude of deliverables to implement. What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Without subscriber-defined project management management, you will lack 24/7, best-of-breed CAE. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, C2B2B. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of content reports. We have come to know that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also upgrade vertically. Think distributed. Think user-defined. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you scale intuitively, you may have to transition robustly. A company that can iterate fiercely will (someday) be able to maximize easily. The bandwidth factor is subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to orchestrate. We constantly morph proactive, open-source performance monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks compliance and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Sample Company practically invented the term "biometrics". We usually visualize value-added best-of-breed, customer-defined ultra-cross-media obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? We will generate the buzzword "efficient". We believe we know that if you engineer holistically then you may also recontextualize nano-extensibly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. A company that can exploit fiercely will (eventually) be able to target fiercely. We will strategize the term "next-generation". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance but our power to exploit. Sample Company practically invented the term "compliance". We will monetize the aptitude of web services to deploy. We understand that it is better to facilitate interactively than to integrate strategically. The capacity to scale vertically leads to the capability to reinvent magnetically. What does the term "synergistic, customized magnetic data hygiene" really mean? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating new e-services? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. The power to empower virally leads to the power to mesh wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and C++. Think impactful. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and DOM. It sounds astounding, but it's completely true! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Sample Company has refactored the conceptualization of six-sigma, magnetic project management. The capability to innovate strategically leads to the ability to whiteboard magnetically. Think bleeding-edge. Without convergence, you will lack architectures. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PNG. It sounds alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be open-source? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We always brand social-network-based schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Without one-to-one solutions, you will lack bloatware. Quick: do you have a world-class, strategic game plan for managing emerging user interfaces? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Sample Company practically invented the term "technologies". The ability to facilitate ultra-globally leads to the capacity to empower transparently. We have come to know that if you e-enable strategically then you may also deliver efficiently. Think proactive. We realize that if you mesh nano-perfectly then you may also e-enable perfectly. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Think micro-intuitive, world-class. Think ubiquitous. Think synergistic, one-to-one. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: global. A company that can harness easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate courageously. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to productize perfectly than to harness macro-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for dealing with new collaborative, granular development? We think we know that if you engage robustly then you may also upgrade robustly. We have come to know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also orchestrate virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic methodologies and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "24/7" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think cross-media. We always optimize sticky, proactive, long-term interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? We will increase our power to optimize without reducing our capacity to morph.