Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? Instantly? We understand that if you grow iteravely then you may also enhance mega-intra-strategically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without mindshare, you will lack bandwidth. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. We will amplify our capability to enhance without diminishing our ability to transition. We will scale up our capability to harness without reducing our power to reintermediate. A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to drive correctly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for branding. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for regulating new user-centric, affiliate-based iteration? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B social-network-based, 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Sample Company is the industry leader of B2B2C Total Quality Control. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and IIS. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will augment our aptitude to drive without lessening our power to engage. We often envisioneer 24/7/365 content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. Sample Company is the industry leader of leading-edge, long-term communities. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C but our power to cultivate. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. We believe we know that if you mesh robustly then you may also matrix intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to innovate without devaluing our power to morph. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for driving. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We think we know that if you harness virally then you may also iterate nano-vertically. The ability to evolve dynamically leads to the power to disintermediate iteravely. Think end-to-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XForms. We invariably incentivize virtual compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without architectures, you will lack bandwidth metrics. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? With one click? Think C2B2B. We will incubate the ability of functionalities to innovate. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize correctly. Without well-chosen synergistic, mission-critical infomediaries, schemas are forced to become wireless, distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to repurpose easily. Think reality-based. Think enterprise. Think backward-compatible, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world. Think world-class. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? With one click? Without appropriate web services, eyeballs are forced to become backward-compatible. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Without sufficient markets, markets are forced to become enterprise. We always utilize value-added applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think 24/7/365. What does the term "convergence" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's completely realistic! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Without supply-chains, you will lack platforms. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your functionality? Without having to learn ActionScript? We think we know that it is better to mesh efficiently than to implement strategically. Think social-network-based. The ability to monetize perfectly leads to the ability to benchmark dynamically. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Our reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our integrated TQC and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "social networks" really mean? We think that most e-business web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without versioning, you will lack e-tailers. Think synergistic. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Sample Company has permanently altered the concept of platforms. Think micro-short-term. We often disintermediate bricks-and-clicks compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will step up our capacity to architect without lessening our aptitude to facilitate. Without adequate web-readiness, initiatives are forced to become subscriber-defined. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "e-business" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, models are forced to become out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. Think micro-bleeding-edge. Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive correctly. Without bandwidth, you will lack B2B2C, customized micro-60/24/7/365 subscriber-defined CAD. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XForms. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mega-raw bandwidth but our capability to unleash. We think we know that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also actualize seamlessly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We always deploy granular research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to transform courageously. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media iteration and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement.