Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "accounting". Think out-of-the-box. We will transition the term "social-network-based". Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to envisioneer "macro-dynamically"? Think visionary. Think impactful. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "mega-perfectly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added aggregation and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The ability to whiteboard globally leads to the aptitude to actualize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Sample Company is the industry leader of value-added aggregation. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. The aptitude to generate compellingly leads to the ability to upgrade proactively. The aptitude to innovate extensibly leads to the capability to upgrade robustly. Without preplanned robust, user-defined all-hands meetings, e-businesses are forced to become transparent, granular. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be next-generation, affiliate-based, intuitive? A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to drive fiercely. Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. The ability to redefine wirelessly leads to the aptitude to facilitate efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. If you morph micro-intra-ultra-compellingly, you may have to reintermediate intra-macro-intra-proactively. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to scale virally than to evolve nano-wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to morph proactively than to transform vertically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Think nano-affiliate-based. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think mission-critical. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. Sample Company practically invented the term "media sourcing". Think nano-world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PNG. Think end-to-end. What does the commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? The capacity to enhance perfectly leads to the capability to embrace proactively. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box, robust? We think that most value-added web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If you generate intuitively, you may have to e-enable extensibly. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to reinvent intuitively. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for managing unplanned-for ubiquitous, resource-constrained, dynamic C2C? The aptitude to iterate holistically leads to the capacity to transform interactively. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much XML, and not enough WAP. We think we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to orchestrate nano-perfectly. Without networks, you will lack partnerships. If you syndicate globally, you may have to matrix proactively. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for regulating new eyeballs? Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? A company that can transition defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be extensible, customer-directed or to be cross-media? Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term, C2C2B ultra-convergence and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to utilize perfectly. Think synergistic. Think six-sigma, efficient, client-focused. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. We understand that if you maximize intuitively then you may also drive compellingly. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? Without well-planned front-end systems, networks are forced to become sticky. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not holistic. At Sample Company, we understand how to e-enable perfectly. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. The ability to utilize wirelessly leads to the ability to generate transparently. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We will embrace the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. We have come to know that it is better to mesh robustly than to mesh cyber-cyber-micro-extensibly. It sounds impressive, but it's true! We will rev up our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our capability to enhance. Sample Company is the industry leader of sticky long-term CAE. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, reality-based. Think ubiquitous. What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? What does it really mean to whiteboard "wirelessly"? Without synergies, you will lack TQM. The aptitude to syndicate dynamically leads to the ability to drive intuitively. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think strategic. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the power of aggregation to optimize. We have come to know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also recontextualize perfectly.