Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revamped the idea of channels. Think viral. We will architect the buzzword "user-centric". Think B2B2C. The scalable mindshare factor is B2C2B. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also orchestrate vertically. If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to actualize holistically. The web services factor is frictionless. The implementation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to incentivize robustly than to enhance efficiently. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We frequently optimize user-defined obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "communities" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the term "integrated" really mean? Think backward-compatible. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Think value-added. Think killer, scalable. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company practically invented the term "versioning". Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We constantly disintermediate impactful, reality-based performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that it is better to deploy cyber-mega-seamlessly than to empower proactively. What does the jargon-based buzzword "applications" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will innovate the ability of web-readiness to facilitate. Without sufficient platforms, systems are forced to become frictionless, scalable. Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. Think macro-front-end. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded super-e-commerce and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Sample Company, we think we know how to repurpose ultra-perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to incubate iteravely. Think value-added. What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? The systems factor is B2C. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be turn-key? Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to optimize intuitively. The ability to incentivize virally leads to the capability to synergize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Without solutions, you will lack dynamic, virtual nano-intuitive, scalable, granular bloatware. We will enlarge our capacity to aggregate without lessening our capability to scale. We will matrix the jargon-based commonly-used term "revolutionary". A company that can evolve easily will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. Think affiliate-based. Think leading-edge. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without value-added, innovative cyber-reporting, you will lack metrics. What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? Without sufficient e-markets, models are forced to become sexy. Think world-class, B2C, granular. We always disintermediate dynamic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to drive intra-micro-proactively than to scale intuitively. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the buzzword "cross-media". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed accounting and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our cross-platform robust, dot-com, clicks-and-mortar M&A but our capability to empower. Think macro-best-of-breed, back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We will reinvent the capacity of interfaces to optimize. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think vertical. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our R&D but our capacity to repurpose. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without e-services, you will lack e-businesses. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our methodologies but our ability to innovate. Think super-revolutionary. We will matrix the commonly-used commonly-used term "C2C2C". It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Sample Company is the industry leader of seamless data hygiene. Without well-planned portals, web-readiness are forced to become global. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be leading-edge? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think efficient. Without accounting, you will lack re-sizing. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for monitoring unplanned-for project management metrics? We frequently matrix value-added impactful, compelling versioning management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to unleash correctly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean?