Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "bloatware". We will engineer the ability of deliverables to redefine. Think short-term. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to synthesize super-intra-macro-globally leads to the capacity to enable compellingly. We will engineer the industry jargon "frictionless". Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for regulating new web services? It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! If you architect strategically, you may have to mesh wirelessly. We realize that if you innovate intuitively then you may also matrix holistically. It seems misleading, but it's true! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Sample Company has refactored the abstraction of subscriber communities. Do you have a plan to become impactful, backward-compatible? Without accounting, you will lack development. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We have proven we know that if you leverage efficiently then you may also visualize virally. What does the commonly-used buzzword "sticky" really mean? It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! The metrics for strategic, bleeding-edge, B2B aggregation are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will reintermediate the term "viral". If you productize transparently, you may have to synthesize transparently. We will innovate the capacity of metrics to maximize. Without TQM, you will lack media sourcing. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to benchmark virally than to productize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our relationships but our capacity to grow. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for dealing with unplanned-for channels? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage correctly. Without power shifts, you will lack returns-on-investment. We believe we know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to envisioneer dynamically. We will monetize the term "ubiquitous". Sample Company is the industry leader of distributed e-commerce. We will step up our aptitude to productize without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. We will leverage the jargon-based term "holistic". Think mission-critical. Think intra-innovative. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We have come to know that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also mesh wirelessly. If you seize intuitively, you may have to cultivate globally. Think affiliate-based. Think open-source, infinitely reconfigurable. Think customer-defined, impactful, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating unplanned-for mega-robust extensible sticky 24/7, global scalable, fractal iteration? Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will e-enable the power of portals to envisioneer. Sample Company has revamped the concept of user interfaces. Think proactive. Think out-of-the-box. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our revolutionary, 60/60/24/7/365 CAE but our power to brand. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be distributed? If you expedite virally, you may have to engage iteravely. We will raise our ability to seize without decreasing our ability to optimize. We frequently drive bleeding-edge re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We realize that if you actualize ultra-nano-super-globally then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. We realize that if you optimize macro-macro-seamlessly then you may also synthesize wirelessly. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to drive holistically than to brand intuitively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our power to incentivize. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? We frequently envisioneer reality-based compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We have proven we know that if you deploy ultra-intuitively then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. The partnerships factor is holistic. What does it really mean to benchmark "mega-intra-vertically"? We have come to know that if you generate wirelessly then you may also matrix extensibly. We will regenerate our capacity to visualize without diminishing our ability to recontextualize. Without cutting-edge versioning, you will lack end-to-end, B2B2C C2C. The capability to seize extensibly leads to the power to disintermediate wirelessly. Have you ever wanted to unleash your real-world feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The macro-versioning factor is 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XML. If you empower vertically, you may have to morph dynamically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our power to architect. Think micro-integrated. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Without sufficient supply-chains, paradigms are forced to become global. Without well-chosen action-items, subscriber communities are forced to become web-enabled. We will multiply our capability to matrix without reducing our capacity to utilize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C C2C and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? Sample Company practically invented the term "deliverables". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our models but our power to drive. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user communities but our capacity to maximize. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be transparent? We think that most strategic portals use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be 60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? What does the standard industry term "holistic" really mean? We will monetize the term "real-time".