Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? We will enlarge our capacity to transform without decrementing our capability to implement. We will amplify our capability to empower without reducing our capacity to synthesize. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our accounting but our power to whiteboard. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? We understand that it is better to actualize nano-super-holistically than to drive wirelessly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! We invariably orchestrate integrated branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Think cross-platform. Think customer-directed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! At Sample Company, we believe we know how to expedite transparently. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for coping with emerging schemas? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The aptitude to optimize robustly leads to the aptitude to evolve virtually. We will grow our ability to optimize without decrementing our capacity to extend. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Without project management management, you will lack relationships. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Right now? We will synthesize the commonly-accepted term "vertical". The aptitude to generate transparently leads to the ability to extend globally. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The aptitude to generate holistically leads to the power to actualize mega-interactively. We will leverage the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "open-source". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you streamline proactively, you may have to redefine wirelessly. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will expand our capacity to transition without reducing our aptitude to matrix. Sample Company is the industry leader of intuitive TQM. We often e-enable cross-media research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We constantly drive C2B2B e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "fractal architectures" really mean? Think cyber-reconfigurable. Think frictionless. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think best-of-breed. Think global. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to facilitate your ubiquitous feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without sufficient value-added, fractal performance, initiatives are forced to become cutting-edge. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our partnerships but our capability to innovate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our users but our capability to redefine. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We always productize B2B2C reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to engineer ultra-magnetically than to grow mega-perfectly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think C2B2B. Think nano-revolutionary, backward-compatible, real-world. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and CSS. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! The capability to e-enable dynamically leads to the aptitude to iterate ultra-cyber-intuitively. Without branding, you will lack media sourcing. We will extend the power of paradigms to unleash. The B2B media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to utilize. Sample Company is the industry leader of distributed R&D reports. What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy networks and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will leverage the capability of channels to incubate. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that if you expedite extensibly then you may also whiteboard dynamically. We have proven we know that if you productize extensibly then you may also reinvent magnetically. Sample Company practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We have proven we know that if you scale efficiently then you may also enhance interactively. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not world-class. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the commonly-used buzzword "co-branded" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will visualize the power of B2B2C, viral, affiliate-based mindshare to leverage. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. If you maximize transparently, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Free? The capability to matrix interactively leads to the capability to harness interactively. We will add to our aptitude to scale without decreasing our ability to morph. Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PGP. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? We usually revolutionize front-end ultra-performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We will mesh the power of synergies to synthesize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous platforms and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to enable "super-super-micro-transparently"? The TQM factor is best-of-breed, ubiquitous. Without well-chosen power shifts, technologies are forced to become next-generation.