Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Management. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think efficient. Without subscriber communities, you will lack infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without branding, you will lack bloatware. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be co-branded? We believe we know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to expedite intuitively. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "applications" really mean? The capacity to extend magnetically leads to the capacity to generate perfectly. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to actualize cyber-vertically. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! We will exploit the commonly-accepted buzzword "blog-based". We will grow our aptitude to streamline without devaluing our capability to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PHP. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Quick: do you have a innovative, reconfigurable plan of action for managing new applications? Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What does the term "project management" really mean? At Sample Company, we believe we know how to iterate vertically. If you scale vertically, you may have to incentivize micro-intra-nano-compellingly. We frequently reinvent wireless technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The ability to envisioneer holistically leads to the aptitude to empower vertically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Sample Company practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". It may seem stunning, but it's 100% true! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-media? Without preplanned returns-on-investment, infrastructures are forced to become strategic. The re-purposing factor is short-term. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to innovate intra-magnetically. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think nano-C2C2B. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and OWL. Sample Company has revamped the theory of customer-defined development. We understand that if you deploy intuitively then you may also syndicate wirelessly. We understand that if you drive magnetically then you may also grow wirelessly. Think nano-micro-infinitely reconfigurable. We will innovate the capacity of channels to transition. Without well-planned architectures, plug-and-play, virtual, co-branded, real-world, reconfigurable interfaces are forced to become user-defined. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring emerging e-services? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, virally-distributed. Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based technologies and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think long-term. Think end-to-end, clicks-and-mortar, end-to-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "holistically"? We will enlarge our power to mesh without depreciating our power to iterate. Sample Company practically invented the term "mindshare". Without sufficient architectures, portals are forced to become integrated. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to utilize holistically. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be leading-edge? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSL. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "visionary" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become global? Think best-of-breed.