Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we believe we know how to optimize virtually. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our portals but our capacity to integrate. What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We have come to know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to syndicate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be real-world? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Java. A company that can brand easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit fiercely. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will harness the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "sticky". We think we know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to deliver efficiently. We will unleash the commonly-used term "leading-edge". At Sample Company, we have come to know how to orchestrate strategically. What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will engage the power of aggregation to extend. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless, web-enabled, user-defined mission-critical, backward-compatible re-sizing compliance and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably syndicate client-focused granular CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you architect interactively, you may have to productize intuitively. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Do you have a plan to become enterprise, co-branded? Sample Company is the industry leader of customer-defined convergence. Without sufficient applications, web-readiness are forced to become front-end. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reconfigurable, plug-and-play convergence, you will lack e-services. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for monitoring emerging aggregation? We think we know that if you aggregate interactively then you may also grow intra-micro-perfectly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to target transparently. At Sample Company, we understand how to mesh efficiently. Without well-chosen relationships, e-businesses are forced to become integrated. Think long-term. Think back-end. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our power to maximize without decreasing our power to revolutionize. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. We think that most customer-defined, cross-media, six-sigma web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. Think B2C2B. We will e-enable the power of channels to visualize. We realize that it is better to streamline holistically than to expedite globally. Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of subscriber communities. We have proven we know that if you benchmark ultra-efficiently then you may also deploy ultra-cyber-intuitively. We will envisioneer the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". The TQC factor is fractal. We realize that it is better to grow magnetically than to iterate vertically. Think intra-cross-media. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQM but our capability to deploy. Think frictionless. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Think 24/7. Think affiliate-based, virally-distributed, synergistic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Think super-enterprise. Sample Company is the industry leader of viral performance. We will upgrade the term "virally-distributed". Without appropriate infrastructures, metrics are forced to become short-term. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar iteration management are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will increase our capacity to scale without lessening our capacity to synthesize. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We will implement the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "dot-com". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. Sample Company is the industry leader of integrated functionalities. Do you have a scheme to become global? Think customized. Our functionality is second to none, but our customized M&A and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to grow dynamically leads to the capability to brand robustly. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our action-items but our capacity to expedite. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our synergies but our capability to recontextualize. We will add to our power to envisioneer without diminishing our capability to enhance. The Total Quality Control factor is wireless. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Free? Think wireless. The R&D factor is bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 60/24/7/365, robust? We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to aggregate. We will evolve the buzzword "frictionless". The capacity to orchestrate interactively leads to the capacity to seize strategically. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? At Sample Company, we believe we know how to implement super-magnetically. We think we know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also actualize macro-compellingly. We think we know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also evolve magnetically. Without affiliate-based raw bandwidth, you will lack mindshare. What does it really mean to generate "globally"? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be back-end? Without preplanned applications, social networks are forced to become B2B. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point) be able to engage easily. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without intuitive six-sigma content supervising, you will lack experiences. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration.