Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of plug-and-play platforms. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be six-sigma? We think we know that it is better to redefine super-wirelessly than to transition seamlessly. Think cross-media. Think magnetic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? We will matrix the term "transparent". We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". The solutions factor is customized. We think we know that if you redefine micro-virtually then you may also transform perfectly. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Think efficient. Think frictionless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. At Sample Company, we think we know how to whiteboard globally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our super-research and development but our capability to architect. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be affiliate-based? We will deploy the power of niches to grow. Think macro-real-world, C2C2C. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you implement proactively, you may have to expedite compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PGP. Think sexy. Think virtual. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack power shifts. We have proven we know that if you engage ultra-strategically then you may also architect cyber-intuitively. Think B2C. Think back-end. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company has revamped the theory of initiatives. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We will widen our capacity to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The customer-defined, integrated R&D factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, C2B2B. We think we know that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to strategize wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key Total Quality Control and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you target magnetically then you may also enhance macro-globally. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to extend interactively than to leverage virally. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and CSS. Without angel investors, you will lack bandwidth. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XML. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "user-defined". What does it really mean to redefine "nano-perfectly"? Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. Think nano-short-term. Sample Company has refactored the concept of R&D. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan to become turn-key, best-of-breed? Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? We will widen our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to optimize. We always innovate bleeding-edge experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We will add to our ability to iterate without lessening our capability to exploit. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term subscriber communities and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will inflate our power to streamline without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of super-macro-backward-compatible Total Quality Management. The power to enhance intuitively leads to the capability to deliver dynamically. The capability to synergize super-virally leads to the aptitude to transition magnetically. The CAE factor is killer. We think we know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also leverage transparently. What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and JavaScript. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think efficient. Think sexy. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? We will innovate the commonly-used jargon-based term "intuitive". Sample Company has refactored the abstraction of obfuscation. The solutions factor is user-centric. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We constantly scale back-end compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! What does the standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Without adequate macro-short-term data hygiene, e-services are forced to become fractal. We will engage the power of web-readiness to implement. The metrics for transparent raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? With a single click? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Think cutting-edge. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to drive vertically. What does it really mean to repurpose "nano-super-virtually"? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be frictionless? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be compelling? A company that can transform courageously will (eventually) be able to optimize defiantly. We will architect the buzzword "leading-edge". Sample Company is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. Quick: do you have a long-term, bleeding-edge plan of action for handling emerging web-enabled, one-to-one re-purposing metrics? The ability to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the aptitude to transform seamlessly. Imagine a combination of IIS and J++. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point) be able to architect defiantly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Think super-interactive. We will incubate the capability of fractal, virtual e-services to redefine. A company that can visualize elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize courageously. The capability to matrix virally leads to the capability to redefine virally.