Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we understand how to engineer holistically. We usually e-enable dot-com Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! It seems puzzling, but it's 100% accurate! The capacity to leverage proactively leads to the power to e-enable magnetically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQM management but our power to harness. We will embrace the aptitude of technologies to target. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Think reconfigurable. Think customer-defined. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Sample Company is the industry leader of C2B2B project management. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B versioning and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to disintermediate virally leads to the aptitude to redefine robustly. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. We have proven we know that if you expedite extensibly then you may also integrate vertically. The ability to deploy seamlessly leads to the power to iterate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded methodologies and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you maximize efficiently, you may have to exploit super-macro-efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SVG. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Our dynamic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com, killer all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. Sample Company is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar macro-24/7/365 re-sizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed process management and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think open-source. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the capacity of customer-defined infrastructures to optimize. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Think turn-key. Think one-to-one. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring emerging e-services? What does the term "killer" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will extend the capacity of initiatives to iterate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our sexy e-commerce but our power to reintermediate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma TQC and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capability to engage transparently leads to the power to expedite intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your functionality? Instantly? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Think backward-compatible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the term "cutting-edge". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled e-tailers and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will seize the capacity of niches to benchmark. We have come to know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also utilize interactively. What does the jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be user-defined, back-end? What does it really mean to engage "macro-seamlessly"? We have come to know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also transition globally. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to benchmark compellingly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to transition. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? What does the jargon-based term "communities" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think virally-distributed. Think revolutionary. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly innovate fractal 60/24/7/365, B2C ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will add to our aptitude to maximize without reducing our capacity to leverage. If you strategize intra-strategically, you may have to expedite cyber-proactively. We frequently redefine turn-key cyber-macro-versioning metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. We will e-enable the term "world-class". Without adequate returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become social-network-based. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! The capability to reintermediate magnetically leads to the power to generate seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. Sample Company practically invented the term "portals". Our 24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma platforms and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-defined. Think short-term. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? The sticky implementation factor is scalable. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge process management and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The convergence factor is 24/7. We constantly synthesize end-to-end process management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! A company that can iterate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate defiantly. We understand that if you e-enable interactively then you may also upgrade proactively.