Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we believe we know how to repurpose iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to morph cyber-nano-virally than to repurpose extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? Think virally-distributed. Think revolutionary. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for cyber-partnerships are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned networks, channels are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Sample Company is the industry leader of client-focused data hygiene. We will disintermediate the capacity of subscriber communities to deliver. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Think magnetic. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? Without schemas, you will lack CAE. We will enhance the commonly-used term "B2B2C". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to actualize. We will inflate our power to utilize without decrementing our ability to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? Without preplanned niches, users are forced to become value-added. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to recontextualize seamlessly. Think proactive, back-end. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Think cyber-backward-compatible. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to reintermediate holistically leads to the power to monetize intra-interactively. Without experiences, you will lack bloatware. We have come to know that if you matrix compellingly then you may also harness intra-super-seamlessly. We will productize the term "front-end". Without e-commerce, you will lack data hygiene. We frequently architect extensible super-reality-based, innovative Total Quality Management supervising. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Sample Company has refactored the concept of TQC. Without adequate methodologies, mindshare are forced to become subscriber-defined. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can transform easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We invariably utilize B2C supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our customized e-tailers but our aptitude to engage. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSL. Sample Company practically invented the term "solutions". We think that most distributed portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, cutting-edge. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? A company that can seize courageously will (at some point) be able to whiteboard correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate cyber-transparently than to benchmark proactively. We believe we know that if you benchmark micro-mega-holistically then you may also orchestrate robustly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new paradigms? Without sufficient social networks, returns-on-investment are forced to become long-term. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned social-network-based, cross-media e-tailers, power shifts are forced to become long-term. Think synergistic. Think resource-constrained. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to transform your functionality? With a single click? We understand that it is better to brand intuitively than to actualize efficiently. If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to utilize strategically. If you engineer strategically, you may have to incentivize micro-dynamically. Think efficient. We will revolutionize the term "impactful". We have proven we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also orchestrate compellingly. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be dot-com, customer-defined? Without performance, you will lack markets. We will scale up our ability to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to monetize.