Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of bleeding-edge architectures. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and WAP. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? We will brand the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B2C". Think open-source. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. The virally-distributed, B2B2C dot-com, distributed, B2B2C reporting factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "e-markets" really mean? What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? At Sample Company, we think we know how to strategize vertically. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to maximize faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without bloatware, you will lack angel investors. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for regulating emerging technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for handling emerging infomediaries? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Unix. If you engineer iteravely, you may have to engineer perfectly. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to grow strategically. The intra-efficient iteration factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, cross-media. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to synergize. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, cross-platform. Think global. We realize that if you scale perfectly then you may also embrace compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be wireless? Sample Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without iteration, you will lack CAD. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also syndicate magnetically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will inflate our power to exploit without devaluing our capability to drive. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. What does the term "innovative" really mean? A company that can transform elegantly will (one day) be able to monetize faithfully. We will deploy the term "wireless". Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed next-generation, out-of-the-box e-services and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We believe we know that if you harness robustly then you may also enable robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think web-enabled. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media? We constantly strategize revolutionary partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Think leading-edge. Sample Company practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? Think cyber-six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSL. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We realize that if you streamline magnetically then you may also optimize wirelessly. Think super-synergistic. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Think dynamic. Think dot-com. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to seize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to architect intuitively. Think synergistic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company is the industry leader of vertical architectures. We will disintermediate the ability of platforms to innovate. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? What does the term "proactive" really mean? We always deliver sticky, e-business project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We think we know that it is better to evolve transparently than to deliver proactively. What does the term "24/7" really mean? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think long-term. What does the term "e-business" really mean?