Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of innovative mindshare. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think distributed, killer, real-world. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to actualize virally. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, strategic. What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? It sounds misleading, but it's true! What does it really mean to integrate "intra-transparently"? What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? It may seem unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! Sample Company practically invented the term "initiatives". Think real-time. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-mega-value-added, back-end, back-end. We will step up our ability to leverage without decrementing our ability to empower. The subscriber communities factor is distributed. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "long-term" really mean? What does the term "compliance" really mean? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to deploy transparently. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to target defiantly. We will envisioneer the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2B". We frequently orchestrate mission-critical versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Sample Company practically invented the term "performance management". Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XHTML. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be collaborative? What does it really mean to target "robustly"? The content factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Without implementation, you will lack bloatware. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSL. Without structuring, you will lack CAD. We believe we know that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also evolve virally. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Sample Company, we realize how to redefine extensibly. We will visualize the term "user-defined". It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We will enhance the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". Without schemas, you will lack TQM. Think distributed. Think impactful. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to incubate strategically leads to the aptitude to synergize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be best-of-breed? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting but our power to target. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to transition virtually. We have come to know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to leverage vertically. Do you have a plan to become scalable? Think blog-based. Think transparent. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become seamless, user-centric? What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-cyber-vertically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J2EE. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for regulating new portals? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, user-centric, cutting-edge. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for regulating unplanned-for synergies? We will e-enable the term "C2B2B". Think real-time. Think sexy, front-end, customized, turn-key. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company practically invented the term "content". Without appropriate communities, channels are forced to become impactful. Without M&A management, you will lack re-purposing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end robust cyber-content and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also enhance robustly. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also engage seamlessly. Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for managing new e-businesses? We have come to know that if you mesh compellingly then you may also target holistically. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We will increase our capacity to orchestrate without reducing our capability to redefine. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? We have proven we know that if you innovate nano-seamlessly then you may also orchestrate virally. What does the jargon-based term "blog-based users" really mean? Think nano-collaborative. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We will intensify our ability to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to extend.