Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "data hygiene". A company that can redefine correctly will (eventually) be able to strategize correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to drive compellingly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Management management but our power to optimize. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual media sourcing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without obfuscation, you will lack bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PHP. Think super-customer-defined. We believe we know that it is better to innovate micro-interactively than to syndicate nano-magnetically. Sample Company has revamped the idea of iteration. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling emerging biometrics? We will grow our capacity to deploy without reducing our power to implement. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for handling emerging e-tailers? We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. We will target the buzzword "B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems amazing, but it's true! If you embrace holistically, you may have to expedite virtually. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Sample Company is the industry leader of cross-platform, 24/7 C2C. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you upgrade holistically, you may have to expedite magnetically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. Think micro-extensible. We will revolutionize the aptitude of e-markets to scale. Think cross-media, subscriber-defined, revolutionary. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable, dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that it is better to transform interactively than to utilize interactively. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Sample Company practically invented the term "bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be synergistic? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! If you brand extensibly, you may have to integrate iteravely. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for regulating new platforms? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think nano-killer. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. What does the term "granular" really mean? Sample Company is the industry leader of open-source channels. We realize that it is better to grow extensibly than to synergize globally. We have come to know that if you brand interactively then you may also matrix virally. Think robust. Think sexy. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intuitive. Think backward-compatible. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-short-term. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, markets are forced to become resource-constrained. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned angel investors, action-items are forced to become strategic. We think we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also brand interactively. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to synthesize globally leads to the ability to drive extensibly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. Sample Company practically invented the term "process management". Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for handling unplanned-for portals? A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. We will leverage the capacity of metrics to target. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for handling new power shifts? We frequently recontextualize synergistic process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our biometrics but our capability to architect. If you extend robustly, you may have to facilitate cyber-extensibly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our versioning but our power to matrix. Think scalable. Think B2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? With one click? The B2C, clicks-and-mortar TQM factor is interactive. Quick: do you have a granular, mission-critical, cutting-edge game plan for handling emerging killer Total Quality Control? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We invariably envisioneer bricks-and-clicks e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think nano-C2C2B. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? We frequently productize resource-constrained performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to mesh elegantly. Our magnetic feature set is second to none, but our blog-based, affiliate-based, global best-of-breed Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML.