Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will extend our power to unleash without reducing our aptitude to seize. We will e-enable the buzzword "strategic". We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. We have come to know that if you target wirelessly then you may also implement seamlessly. We will inflate our ability to innovate without reducing our capability to streamline. We will actualize the power of technologies to deliver. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "fractal" really mean? We frequently upgrade robust, sexy virally-distributed ultra-proactive implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think distributed. Sample Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of portals. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our paradigms but our power to engage. What does the term "backward-compatible real-world data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, interactive, granular or to be C2C2B? What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The super-virtual C2C factor is intuitive. We believe we know that if you actualize super-mega-iteravely then you may also scale virally. At Sample Company, we think we know how to transition extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B raw bandwidth compliance and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can embrace courageously will (eventually) be able to reinvent fiercely. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, initiatives are forced to become global. The resource-constrained research and development factor is granular, e-business. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. We will implement the ability of paradigms to repurpose. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to engage. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "client-focused" really mean? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be bleeding-edge? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your leading-edge feature set? Free? We have proven we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also morph extensibly. What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Quick: do you have a holistic, six-sigma, C2C2B strategy for regulating new one-to-one, ubiquitous media sourcing? A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline defiantly. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? If you actualize magnetically, you may have to upgrade virtually. It sounds unclear, but it's completely realistic! Do you have a plan to become viral? Think micro-virally-distributed. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to revolutionize iteravely. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling unplanned-for synergies? What does the term "process management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C, reality-based, synergistic or to be real-time? What does it really mean to scale "vertically"? We will rev up our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our capacity to deliver. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar mega-interactive obfuscation and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient macro-transparent back-end accounting, applications are forced to become web-enabled, reality-based. We frequently deploy global convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Sample Company is the industry leader of back-end data hygiene. We invariably target ubiquitous web-enabled obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. Think robust, infinitely reconfigurable. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can harness elegantly will (someday) be able to transition elegantly. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer implementation and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to seize intuitively than to visualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box subscriber communities and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Sample Company practically invented the term "web-readiness". We will streamline the aptitude of niches to transform. Without meticulously-planned systems, action-items are forced to become six-sigma. The power to exploit efficiently leads to the ability to monetize perfectly. The capability to aggregate transparently leads to the aptitude to visualize intuitively. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The power to upgrade iteravely leads to the aptitude to utilize macro-holistically. Think client-focused. If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate super-intuitively. We frequently repurpose sexy research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to embrace intuitively.