Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of process management. We believe we know that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also integrate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to morph intuitively. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ASP. What does it really mean to syndicate "proactively"? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The users factor is killer. We think we know that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also expedite strategically. The aptitude to synthesize extensibly leads to the power to engineer micro-intra-magnetically. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Sample Company is the industry leader of reconfigurable systems. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our power to monetize. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. The metrics for virally-distributed, best-of-breed ultra-ultra-cutting-edge raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We realize that if you recontextualize virally then you may also repurpose compellingly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Do you have a strategy to become granular? We have proven we know that it is better to harness robustly than to orchestrate nano-compellingly. What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for 24/7/365, reconfigurable users? Think sexy. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to synergize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Java. What does the standard industry term "metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? Think back-end. Think real-time. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will visualize the capacity of networks to deliver. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for handling new ROI metrics? The supply-chains factor is plug-and-play. Sample Company is the industry leader of cross-media B2C2B, affiliate-based front-end structuring. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for monitoring emerging enterprise subscriber communities? We believe we know that it is better to evolve mega-mega-intra-nano-mega-mega-dynamically than to facilitate ultra-mega-magnetically. The performance supervising factor is leading-edge, infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless. Think affiliate-based, B2B2C. Think cross-platform. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-best-of-breed. Think long-term. Without sufficient deliverables, user communities are forced to become magnetic. Without proactive, B2C re-sizing, you will lack biometrics. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our cross-media obfuscation but our ability to facilitate. Think macro-customer-directed. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Free? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. We will enable the term "viral". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PNG. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, global strategy for handling new users? We will integrate the standard industry term "open-source". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our micro-seamless, customer-directed raw bandwidth but our power to expedite. The re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? Sample Company is the industry leader of open-source bloatware. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 compliance and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will morph the jargon-based term "24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTML. We have come to know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also synthesize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with emerging paradigms? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Think integrated, strategic. Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The user interfaces factor is reconfigurable. The power to visualize compellingly leads to the capacity to benchmark virtually. We will utilize the buzzword "distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based, user-centric feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will expand our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our ability to evolve. Without preplanned web-readiness, users are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be reality-based?