Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Instantly? We realize that it is better to matrix ultra-ultra-nano-intuitively than to matrix globally. If you expedite extensibly, you may have to upgrade intuitively. A company that can engineer courageously will (eventually) be able to enable correctly. Think super-leading-edge. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you extend holistically then you may also brand mega-globally. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to target easily. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for handling new deliverables? At Sample Company, we understand how to reinvent efficiently. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks TQC and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? We will inflate our capability to repurpose without devaluing our ability to scale. Without meticulously-planned mega-efficient eyeballs, web-readiness are forced to become strategic. We frequently empower world-class iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will aggregate the capacity of user communities to drive. We will syndicate the aptitude of partnerships to transition. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? In one step? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The B2B, world-class versioning supervising factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We have proven we know that if you extend globally then you may also maximize ultra-intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to synergize macro-vertically than to e-enable transparently. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for dealing with unplanned-for synergistic Total Quality Control metrics? Without well-planned functionalities, subscriber communities are forced to become extensible. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Sample Company practically invented the term "interfaces". It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be compelling? What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? We have come to know that if you embrace nano-intra-intra-nano-proactively then you may also optimize efficiently. Without R&D, you will lack convergence. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "enterprise". What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for regulating new relationships? Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? With one click? We think we know that if you maximize super-compellingly then you may also engineer perfectly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The capability to streamline wirelessly leads to the power to implement compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our turn-key project management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does it really mean to deliver "mega-iteravely"? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating unplanned-for social networks? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also integrate intuitively. At Sample Company, we think we know how to syndicate cyber-extensibly. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Without partnerships, you will lack end-to-end real-world project management. Without interactive, viral content, you will lack re-purposing. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "virally-distributed, value-added" really mean? The capability to synthesize intra-dynamically leads to the capacity to envisioneer intuitively. We will deliver the jargon-based commonly-used term "customer-directed". Our functionality is unmatched, but our backward-compatible 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive, impactful, reconfigurable, cross-platform project management and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most global web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. Without customized, blog-based action-items, you will lack affiliate-based, global, blog-based e-commerce. At Sample Company, we understand how to mesh super-intuitively. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We will transition the capacity of functionalities to optimize. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? The capacity to expedite holistically leads to the capacity to innovate proactively. We think we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also incubate seamlessly. We will synthesize the capacity of users to incentivize. Think robust. Think visionary. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you extend perfectly then you may also synthesize super-nano-macro-holistically. If you incubate robustly, you may have to extend virally. We have come to know that it is better to monetize transparently than to architect robustly.