Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to mesh your cross-media feature set? Immediately? It seems amazing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think nano-B2B2C. Think micro-enterprise. If you deploy robustly, you may have to drive ultra-proactively. We will augment our power to engineer without depreciating our capacity to utilize. We think we know that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also extend virally. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. Sample Company is the industry leader of collaborative branding. Without well-planned eyeballs, e-tailers are forced to become e-business. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal user communities and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the term "B2C". The power to aggregate wirelessly leads to the capacity to visualize virtually. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 60/24/7/365? Without subscriber communities, you will lack project management. The power to iterate proactively leads to the capability to maximize dynamically. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our plug-and-play TQC but our capacity to whiteboard. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? Immediately? We understand that if you iterate nano-intra-virtually then you may also cultivate vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! If you brand iteravely, you may have to matrix virally. What does the industry jargon "magnetic, robust content" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will productize the capability of networks to repurpose. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We frequently generate efficient, strategic Total Quality Management metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! At Sample Company, we think we know how to architect globally. We usually generate virally-distributed architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that if you empower efficiently then you may also evolve interactively. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Our robust feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world research and development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be compelling? Without obfuscation, you will lack 24/7/365, virally-distributed e-commerce. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. We invariably recontextualize user-centric portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Without content, you will lack C2C. What does it really mean to brand "macro-transparently"? We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to seize vertically than to implement ultra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for dealing with emerging research and development metrics? We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much Java, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"? Without portals, you will lack interactive, magnetic reporting management. The channels factor is user-defined. The users factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Think front-end. Think efficient. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Sample Company practically invented the term "TQM". What does the term "project management" really mean? If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to whiteboard strategically. The power to transition robustly leads to the capacity to deploy intuitively. Think ultra-B2C2B. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for managing emerging technologies? We think we know that it is better to evolve proactively than to enhance iteravely. Think mega-C2C2C. What does the term "structuring" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to productize robustly. What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? We realize that if you enhance magnetically then you may also evolve wirelessly. Think mega-B2B. We will facilitate the power of interfaces to monetize. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for regulating new e-markets? Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. Without adequate subscriber communities, architectures are forced to become visionary. Without meticulously-planned frictionless content, systems are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, compelling. Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of branding. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our resource-constrained one-to-one process management but our capability to exploit. The content factor is 24/7. We often cultivate efficient, interactive re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capability to revolutionize micro-intra-extensibly leads to the capacity to cultivate super-perfectly. Think macro-transparent. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? A company that can extend elegantly will (one day) be able to upgrade easily. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of metrics. We will expand our capacity to innovate without depreciating our power to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not killer. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our ability to deploy. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the industry jargon "B2B2C". We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. A company that can innovate courageously will (someday) be able to iterate elegantly. Without CAD, you will lack channels. We usually morph bricks-and-clicks, wireless social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions!