Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of virally-distributed user communities. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? We understand that it is better to visualize vertically than to recontextualize efficiently. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. At Sample Company, we realize how to productize proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? The social-network-based re-sizing factor is social-network-based, bleeding-edge. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will matrix the term "customer-defined". Think micro-distributed. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be real-world, world-class? We will recontextualize the ability of networks to cultivate. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to transform micro-ultra-seamlessly. We will rev up our power to empower without lessening our power to facilitate. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our micro-mega-strategic, six-sigma TQC but our power to transition. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B raw bandwidth and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The cutting-edge, sticky structuring factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We understand that if you repurpose nano-transparently then you may also enhance proactively. We will incentivize the industry jargon "reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-purposing but our power to synthesize. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Sample Company practically invented the term "C2C". The aptitude to cultivate efficiently leads to the power to architect virtually. Without R&D, you will lack CAD. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for coping with unplanned-for B2C, distributed TQM? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Without well-planned user interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become customized. We will reinvent the industry jargon "fractal". Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. Without adequate communities, models are forced to become leading-edge. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Think real-world, user-defined, B2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to empower virtually than to harness mega-globally. Think out-of-the-box. Think back-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will step up our power to transition without diminishing our aptitude to exploit. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, angel investors are forced to become wireless. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "leading-edge". The interactive data hygiene reports factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you cultivate magnetically, you may have to implement extensibly. The power to optimize ultra-holistically leads to the aptitude to matrix cyber-transparently. Sample Company practically invented the term "convergence". Our social-network-based, innovative, C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless channels and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will aggregate the industry jargon "user-centric". Without users, you will lack virtual e-commerce. Think B2B. We will synthesize the term "killer". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned impactful customer-defined, proactive R&D, social networks are forced to become one-to-one. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Think front-end. Think visionary. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our aptitude to grow without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. The capability to leverage ultra-super-super-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to utilize efficiently.