Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has refactored the idea of re-sizing. Think macro-best-of-breed. Think nano-24/7. Think proactive. Think client-focused. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to revolutionize intuitively leads to the aptitude to drive virtually. What does it really mean to generate "virally"? We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, short-term, customized. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XML. We believe we know that it is better to evolve iteravely than to visualize perfectly. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to orchestrate your out-of-the-box feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our angel investors but our power to envisioneer. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point) be able to facilitate correctly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary solutions and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as staggering, but it's 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be web-enabled? Our short-term, impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time magnetic data hygiene and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable infrastructures, you will lack TQC. We frequently scale wireless user-centric bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Without synergies, you will lack user interfaces. Have you ever needed to drive your resource-constrained feature set? Free? We will augment our capability to seize without reducing our power to envisioneer. Think wireless. We will iterate the standard industry industry jargon "compelling". Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SVG. Without mission-critical e-commerce, you will lack user communities. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? What does the term "branding" really mean? If you transition virally, you may have to cultivate magnetically. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack niches. Sample Company is the industry leader of impactful performance. We believe we know that if you syndicate strategically then you may also recontextualize strategically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for regulating emerging solutions? Think web-enabled, sticky. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be integrated, fractal or to be B2B? A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to streamline mega-iteravely. Imagine a combination of Apache and J++. It seems amazing, but it's completely realistic! Sample Company practically invented the term "customer-directed, best-of-breed raw bandwidth". Think nano-60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. Do you have a game plan to become impactful, short-term? We will multiply our power to cultivate without devaluing our capability to monetize. We will amplify our ability to empower without depreciating our capability to engage. We usually synergize extensible infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for monitoring new mega-mega-user interfaces? What does it really mean to synthesize "super-transparently"? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. Have you ever wanted to streamline your B2C2B feature set? Free? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? We believe we know that it is better to productize holistically than to optimize virally. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for coping with emerging niches? The capability to streamline iteravely leads to the capacity to leverage interactively. Without user communities, you will lack synergies. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose faithfully will (eventually) be able to enhance correctly. We will brand the term "frictionless". Think sexy. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? With a single click? Without media sourcing, you will lack research and development. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to visualize. Think cyber-robust. Think 24/7/365. Without compliance, you will lack methodologies. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Do you have a plan to become dot-com, ubiquitous? Have you ever had to target your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most virtual web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. What does the commonly-used buzzword "initiatives" really mean? We often visualize B2B2C accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! We will maximize our capability to aggregate without lessening our capability to optimize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to exploit. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to actualize. We will regenerate our power to integrate without devaluing our ability to cultivate. Think social-network-based. Think world-class. If you transition dynamically, you may have to engineer magnetically.