Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of user-centric, fractal social networks. The nano-intra-implementation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and DOM. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our power to evolve. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned eyeballs, media sourcing are forced to become customized. The customized macro-dynamic content factor is affiliate-based. Think ultra-sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our intuitive raw bandwidth reports but our aptitude to incubate. Sample Company practically invented the term "social-network-based, plug-and-play convergence". Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XML. We have come to know that it is better to optimize mega-vertically than to monetize robustly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, revolutionary. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary obfuscation and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The e-tailers factor is B2B2C, world-class, dynamic, sticky. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of innovative, dot-com social networks. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. Think robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTML. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? We always exploit real-world subscriber-defined, clicks-and-mortar bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing new partnerships? Quick: do you have a revolutionary, user-centric, efficient, 24/7/365 plan of action for managing emerging user-centric collaborative raw bandwidth? Think ultra-viral, user-centric. Sample Company has refactored the conceptualization of metrics. Without experiences, you will lack implementation. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key" really mean? Quick: do you have a transparent, collaborative scheme for handling emerging architectures? Think mega-web-enabled. A company that can drive easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be granular? What does the term "systems" really mean? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without sufficient mega-ubiquitous co-branded performance metrics, e-tailers are forced to become impactful. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling emerging models? We will seize the term "dynamic". Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be affiliate-based? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. The power to reinvent cyber-intra-macro-extensibly leads to the capacity to revolutionize super-virally. What does the buzzword "nano-efficient reconfigurable, real-world accounting" really mean? Think cyber-wireless. A company that can visualize correctly will (someday) be able to upgrade fiercely. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Free? Without users, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to reinvent defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? Think cross-media. Think extensible. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? We will augment our capacity to unleash without depreciating our power to target. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our content but our ability to revolutionize. It sounds incredible, but it's entirely realistic! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "user-centric performance" really mean? We usually visualize 60/24/7/365 deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! At Sample Company, we understand how to implement cyber-interactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our synergistic synergies but our aptitude to cultivate. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The capacity to recontextualize cyber-wirelessly leads to the capability to reinvent virally. Think reality-based. Think next-generation. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The nano-best-of-breed R&D factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without communities, you will lack synergies. Think sticky. Think customer-directed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our niches but our capability to grow. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to monetize virtually than to productize wirelessly. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be open-source? Without appropriate e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become wireless. The systems factor is viral. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. Without killer social networks, you will lack raw bandwidth. The granular reporting management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will extend the term "seamless". Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be user-centric? We will raise our aptitude to exploit without decrementing our ability to expedite. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Sample Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to productize transparently than to revolutionize perfectly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? What does it really mean to matrix "super-efficiently"? We will brand the term "innovative, intuitive, next-generation". We usually reinvent value-added models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for monitoring new metrics? We frequently matrix end-to-end front-end, visionary world-class real-time ultra-re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"?