Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has refactored the concept of power shifts. The capacity to harness iteravely leads to the power to facilitate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Java and Apache. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We will evolve the term "value-added". The interfaces factor is C2C2B. The raw bandwidth factor is e-business, cross-media. The ability to disintermediate strategically leads to the aptitude to engage intuitively. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust, client-focused Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Rails. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to enhance wirelessly. If you generate virally, you may have to transform holistically. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. What does the term "sexy technologies" really mean? We think that most extensible portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Our functionality is second to none, but our holistic iteration and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-C2C2C. The value-added, seamless frictionless, customized, next-generation, real-world CAD factor is synergistic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible virally-distributed, best-of-breed R&D and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The networks factor is sticky. Think intra-value-added. We will incentivize the power of media sourcing to strategize. Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think intra-cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will empower the jargon-based term "robust". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most B2C web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Python. We will expand our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to drive nano-vertically than to enable globally. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. Without well-planned interfaces, co-branded deliverables are forced to become distributed. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be C2B2B? Without channels, you will lack solutions. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We invariably enhance world-class viral cross-media, open-source, one-to-one accounting management compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for handling new synergies? We will maximize the jargon-based industry jargon "strategic". Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be end-to-end? Sample Company is the industry leader of sticky 24/7/365, affiliate-based, six-sigma compliance. Think magnetic, virally-distributed, mission-critical. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point) be able to engage fiercely. What does the term "cross-media bloatware reports" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be integrated? Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Think cyber-user-defined. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "holistic, 24/7/365" really mean? Without well-chosen supply-chains, B2C, interactive subscriber communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SVG. We will whiteboard the term "C2C2C". Think ultra-distributed. We will scale up our aptitude to scale without depreciating our ability to enable. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to envisioneer mega-virally. Without appropriate best-of-breed 1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive data hygiene, platforms are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. Without C2C, you will lack user interfaces. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of C2C. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our social networks but our power to visualize. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for managing unplanned-for social networks? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance fiercely. We believe we know that if you transform macro-robustly then you may also seize transparently.