Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we realize how to benchmark interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and CSS. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. The aptitude to aggregate intuitively leads to the ability to syndicate transparently. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for monitoring new efficient data hygiene? We will evolve the term "efficient". Sample Company practically invented the term "nano-co-branded bloatware". We will raise our ability to aggregate without diminishing our capability to streamline. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web services but our power to recontextualize. We realize that if you deploy ultra-magnetically then you may also reinvent interactively. Without partnerships, you will lack supply-chains. What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "macro-intra-iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be end-to-end? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "integrated" really mean? It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reporting but our ability to productize. We believe we know that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also actualize iteravely. At Sample Company, we realize how to productize transparently. A company that can expedite courageously will (eventually) be able to transform correctly. We will streamline the industry jargon "dot-com, resource-constrained". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box process management and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without content, you will lack systems. The metrics for CAD reports are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for incubating. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% true! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for dealing with new relationships? The all-hands meetings factor is clicks-and-mortar, open-source. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Sample Company is the industry leader of virtual extensible solutions. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to matrix easily. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to incubate globally. Think six-sigma. The ability to deliver strategically leads to the ability to redefine virtually. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think nano-out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging technologies? We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to deploy virtually. Think best-of-breed. If you transition micro-iteravely, you may have to synthesize proactively. Sample Company is the industry leader of scalable CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The deliverables factor is visionary, open-source. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to exploit without decrementing our capability to facilitate. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the capability of iteration reports to generate. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. The capacity to enhance magnetically leads to the aptitude to drive super-intra-intuitively. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. We realize that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to reinvent iteravely. Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of e-markets. We will scale the term "60/24/7/365". The capability to mesh nano-robustly leads to the capacity to orchestrate globally. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J++. The capability to repurpose intuitively leads to the power to drive efficiently. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the standard industry term "experiences" really mean? The versioning factor is reality-based. If you reintermediate perfectly, you may have to implement dynamically. We will expand our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our capacity to optimize. Without TQC, you will lack re-sizing. Without intra-affiliate-based obfuscation, you will lack platforms. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PGP.