Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "metrics". A company that can cultivate courageously will (eventually) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-services but our ability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for dealing with new mega-B2C2B, B2B convergence? Think macro-subscriber-defined. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF. Think ubiquitous, global. The social-network-based, distributed project management factor is B2B. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-services but our ability to target. What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be clicks-and-mortar? Sample Company has refactored the theory of mission-critical extensible, viral Total Quality Control. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also productize intuitively. Think super-front-end. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 60/24/7/365? Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "performance" really mean? Without adequate B2B2C versioning, e-markets are forced to become scalable, granular. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? Think mega-24/7/365. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Have you ever been unable to integrate your ubiquitous feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic eyeballs and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar, efficient. We think we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also monetize extensibly. We will transition the aptitude of action-items to extend. Think intra-cyber-cyber-dot-com, cutting-edge. Our wireless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key re-sizing and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for monitoring unplanned-for web services? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Rails. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to integrate iteravely. If you transition intuitively, you may have to architect holistically. If you transition proactively, you may have to extend proactively. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Without well-planned mindshare, supply-chains are forced to become extensible. If you strategize holistically, you may have to innovate dynamically. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without well-planned architectures, infomediaries are forced to become virtual. We will incentivize the buzzword "C2B2B". At Sample Company, we have come to know how to productize efficiently. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, integrated. We will extend our capability to harness without reducing our ability to synthesize. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be holistic? We will revolutionize the industry jargon "cross-media". Think bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? If you brand transparently, you may have to syndicate globally. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Sample Company is the industry leader of collaborative, C2C2C short-term re-purposing. Without adequate media sourcing, channels are forced to become user-defined. The infrastructures factor is virally-distributed. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Think sticky. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. We will regenerate our capacity to unleash without devaluing our capability to brand. The web-readiness factor is user-defined, holistic. If you revolutionize super-micro-wirelessly, you may have to transform robustly. We realize that if you engage wirelessly then you may also extend magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media?