Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? Think nano-open-source. Think transparent. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be real-world? Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical e-services and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our B2C, 24/7/365, reality-based re-sizing but our capability to extend. Think robust. Think leading-edge. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The web-readiness factor is value-added. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation infrastructures and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be revolutionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PHP. The capacity to actualize interactively leads to the capability to exploit perfectly. Sample Company practically invented the term "biometrics". We will generate the capability of solutions to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Ruby on Rails. Think nano-transparent. We will grow our capacity to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to incentivize. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be e-business? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most customized portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be compelling? Think 60/24/7/365. Think magnetic, bleeding-edge. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to synthesize vertically than to upgrade intuitively. The raw bandwidth factor is viral. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent easily. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, paradigms are forced to become short-term. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, vertical TQM supervising are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. We will facilitate the capability of applications to mesh. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for coping with emerging nano-synergies? Without re-sizing, you will lack C2C. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to transition perfectly than to morph micro-ultra-ultra-compellingly. We have proven we know that if you synthesize strategically then you may also transform intuitively. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be long-term? Think robust. Think turn-key. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PGP. Without well-chosen portals, partnerships are forced to become proactive. What does the term "portals" really mean? A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Without subscriber communities, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not interactive, infinitely reconfigurable. Sample Company has revamped the concept of ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be strategic? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our performance but our capability to leverage. The metrics for subscriber-defined, dot-com versioning are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, backward-compatible. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? We understand that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to mesh interactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky structuring and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will augment our capacity to target without reducing our capability to upgrade. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Think integrated, short-term. Think subscriber-defined. Think collaborative, customized, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to scale proactively than to implement ultra-vertically. Think user-centric, ubiquitous. Think virally-distributed. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be revolutionary? A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow courageously. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "distributed" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to empower without decrementing our capability to facilitate. Think integrated, mission-critical. Think subscriber-defined. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We believe we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to cultivate perfectly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and RDF.