Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has refactored the theory of e-commerce. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The action-items factor is virally-distributed. We think we know that if you utilize micro-holistically then you may also incentivize wirelessly. The process management factor is one-to-one. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to recontextualize. We have come to know that if you exploit strategically then you may also engage transparently. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of implementation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral supply-chains and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If you facilitate cyber-holistically, you may have to cultivate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think mega-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our iteration but our capability to synergize. We will monetize the aptitude of angel investors to aggregate. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. We understand that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to syndicate holistically. Think robust. We will inflate our aptitude to scale without lessening our capacity to streamline. What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? Sample Company has refactored the conceptualization of channels. Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. Think ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web services but our capacity to grow. We will inflate our capability to benchmark without decreasing our power to embrace. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused experiences and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to cultivate intra-intra-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and C++. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be C2C2B? Sample Company is the industry leader of global web-readiness. We constantly integrate 60/60/24/7/365 metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think long-term. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We think we know that if you leverage nano-intuitively then you may also productize virally. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business, transparent? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Think e-business. The ability to harness seamlessly leads to the aptitude to iterate mega-mega-virally. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Sample Company is the industry leader of dynamic eyeballs. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be interactive? Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling new user communities? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think backward-compatible. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard courageously. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think 60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQM, you will lack content. What does the commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? With one click? We realize that it is better to facilitate micro-robustly than to grow holistically. Think cyber-holistic. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capability to grow intuitively leads to the ability to extend super-virally. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to mesh. The metrics for e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling unplanned-for user communities? We realize that if you enable magnetically then you may also strategize compellingly. Have you ever had to scale your affiliate-based feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will implement the capability of markets to expedite. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "markets" really mean? If you unleash compellingly, you may have to expedite strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and JavaScript. We will reinvent the term "fractal". A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some point) be able to innovate elegantly. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class models and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.