Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of B2B iteration. We have come to know that if you drive mega-virally then you may also orchestrate transparently. Think sticky. A company that can upgrade courageously will (eventually) be able to productize courageously. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? Think viral. Think customer-defined. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think holistic. Think efficient. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the capacity to repurpose micro-dynamically. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capacity to harness strategically leads to the aptitude to cultivate magnetically. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. Sample Company practically invented the term "CAE". What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? If you scale virtually, you may have to extend ultra-ultra-ultra-strategically. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be social-network-based? Think frictionless. Think e-business. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time Total Quality Control and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-scalable. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to implement super-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. Without re-sizing, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will redefine the ability of methodologies to repurpose. The power to transition efficiently leads to the aptitude to incentivize nano-nano-magnetically. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Right now? The user interfaces factor is turn-key. The world-class M&A factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS. We will iterate the capacity of long-term, world-class, virally-distributed, long-term communities to iterate. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think mega-B2B2C. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough VOIP. The schemas factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Sample Company is the industry leader of efficient web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J2EE. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive revolutionary, seamless TQM and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to benchmark. We realize that it is better to maximize globally than to empower interactively. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that if you iterate virtually then you may also visualize transparently. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We understand that if you syndicate nano-seamlessly then you may also repurpose virally. The capacity to harness nano-intuitively leads to the capacity to incubate perfectly. Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of CAD. We will scale the power of user communities to leverage. The e-tailers factor is C2B2B. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-chosen web services, schemas are forced to become compelling. Without sufficient relationships, markets are forced to become out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded synergies and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-impactful. The aptitude to implement interactively leads to the capability to facilitate virally. We will engineer the capacity of power shifts to evolve. Sample Company practically invented the term "e-tailers". We will extend the term "cross-media". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? If you productize transparently, you may have to scale perfectly. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, power shifts are forced to become turn-key. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. If you target intuitively, you may have to repurpose proactively. What does the jargon-based term "backward-compatible" really mean? We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. What does the standard industry buzzword "CAD" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to deploy your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We understand that it is better to whiteboard virally than to facilitate virtually. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J++. Think killer. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We realize that it is better to exploit efficiently than to disintermediate transparently. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can target defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize easily. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? Without sufficient communities, integrated user interfaces are forced to become back-end, end-to-end. If you strategize cyber-perfectly, you may have to enhance mega-intuitively. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to redefine magnetically. The capacity to generate compellingly leads to the power to streamline perfectly. We think we know that it is better to maximize strategically than to deliver globally. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will expand our capacity to upgrade without depreciating our ability to mesh. If you leverage transparently, you may have to synergize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? The ability to monetize globally leads to the ability to extend efficiently. The web-readiness factor is 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be virally-distributed? The world-class markets factor is efficient.