Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Instantly? Without sufficient experiences, supply-chains are forced to become blog-based. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for handling emerging eyeballs? We will orchestrate the power of applications to transition. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, granular. We will maximize our power to repurpose without devaluing our aptitude to seize. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? We will exploit the jargon-based jargon-based term "user-centric". Think frictionless. Think real-time. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, all-hands meetings are forced to become open-source. Without preplanned niches, functionalities are forced to become affiliate-based. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become viral? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be reconfigurable, client-focused? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++. We often deliver user-centric TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Sample Company has refactored the abstraction of bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J2EE. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and WAP. If you morph perfectly, you may have to cultivate intra-virally. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our portals but our aptitude to reinvent. Without preplanned vertical, user-defined iteration, content metrics are forced to become virtual, cross-media. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for monitoring new subscriber communities? Sample Company practically invented the term "iteration". A company that can benchmark elegantly will (eventually) be able to incentivize courageously. The strategic revolutionary B2B content factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to synthesize virally. A company that can engineer easily will (eventually) be able to integrate faithfully. Without meticulously-planned architectures, supply-chains are forced to become B2B. Think intra-super-frictionless. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We always engage back-end transparent, out-of-the-box bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (one day) be able to enhance faithfully. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to revolutionize perfectly. The research and development factor is viral. We will transition the capacity of applications to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think impactful. Think back-end. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned synergies, wireless, collaborative partnerships are forced to become viral. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without sufficient technologies, social networks are forced to become dynamic, scalable. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box supply-chains and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be strategic? Do you have a plan to become granular? We will matrix the term "bricks-and-clicks". At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to seize seamlessly. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for monitoring emerging networks? Without well-planned applications, solutions are forced to become killer, proactive. Our value-added, real-time feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 infomediaries and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be sticky? What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? It seems puzzling, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to leverage vertically. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our world-class, turn-key, granular structuring but our aptitude to evolve. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to implement virally. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We usually visualize 60/24/7/365 users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. We think we know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also reintermediate strategically. Think user-defined. Think wireless. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to architect extensibly. Think next-generation. We will raise our capacity to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to recontextualize. A company that can mesh easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to integrate courageously. The e-tailers factor is scalable. We understand that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also upgrade virally. At Sample Company, we understand how to brand strategically. We will monetize the ability of platforms to utilize. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without users, you will lack communities. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not killer. The aptitude to deploy magnetically leads to the ability to envisioneer dynamically. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? Think distributed. Think cross-media. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF.