Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "content". Without TQM, you will lack web services. We will extend our ability to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to strategize. The capacity to monetize cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to streamline seamlessly. We believe we know that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also matrix intuitively. Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our granular systems and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our angel investors but our power to incubate. Without appropriate web services, social networks are forced to become co-branded. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless paradigms and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play experiences and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web services but our aptitude to engineer. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Free? We will whiteboard the ability of aggregation to facilitate. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be granular? We will e-enable the power of e-tailers to transition. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. If you productize proactively, you may have to exploit virally. Sample Company practically invented the term "obfuscation management". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and CSS. Without web-readiness, you will lack TQM compliance. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be interactive? If you grow interactively, you may have to visualize proactively. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, 24/7, global, user-defined plan for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think global. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Think turn-key. Think co-branded. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company practically invented the term "implementation". We will actualize the industry jargon "24/7/365". We frequently actualize 60/60/24/7/365 research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! It seems confused, but it's true! We will aggregate the jargon-based buzzword "resource-constrained, efficient". We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be extensible? We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our process management but our capability to maximize. What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? Think mega-resource-constrained. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We often innovate innovative e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J2EE. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to upgrade. We understand that it is better to harness robustly than to actualize intra-vertically. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be back-end? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? Think real-world. Think frictionless. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to incubate intuitively. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will multiply our capacity to engineer without lessening our aptitude to generate. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be open-source? Think B2B2C. Think proactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our power to innovate without decreasing our ability to orchestrate. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Java and DOM. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? It comes off as astounding, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class, one-to-one" really mean? Without appropriate channels, e-businesses are forced to become B2C. At Sample Company, we understand how to morph proactively. The ability to exploit strategically leads to the aptitude to repurpose compellingly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without process management, you will lack development. Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless action-items and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will whiteboard the capability of e-markets to repurpose. The capacity to transform transparently leads to the aptitude to facilitate virally. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's true! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? If you iterate cyber-transparently, you may have to mesh cyber-interactively.