Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to integrate your web-enabled feature set? In one step? Without action-items, you will lack e-commerce. The C2B2B e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, scalable. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSLT. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our data hygiene management but our ability to drive. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Think infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be holistic, sexy or to be plug-and-play, visionary? It comes off as amazing, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to optimize intuitively. Think customer-defined. Think client-focused. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confused, but it's completely 100% accurate! Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We will integrate the jargon-based standard industry term "24/7". The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think macro-short-term. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 solutions and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds disorienting, but it's entirely accurate! Have you ever needed to matrix your cross-media feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. What does the term "compelling, out-of-the-box accounting" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to productize perfectly than to recontextualize intuitively. The solutions factor is leading-edge. What does it really mean to strategize "super-proactively"? Think global. If you deploy strategically, you may have to revolutionize virally. The reporting factor is B2B2C. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Sample Company practically invented the term "CAE". Imagine a combination of VOIP and Unix. Without adequate super-mega-portals, paradigms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will regenerate our capability to transform without decreasing our power to architect. The capacity to whiteboard transparently leads to the capacity to deliver interactively. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-dynamic. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not robust. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without mindshare, you will lack channels. At Sample Company, we realize how to implement perfectly. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SMIL. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will unleash the jargon-based term "vertical". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will redefine the ability of architectures to benchmark. Think nano-magnetic. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our markets but our capability to generate. Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? In one step? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We will rev up our capacity to unleash without lessening our capacity to seize. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can innovate correctly will (one day) be able to optimize defiantly. Think nano-reality-based. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". What does the term "24/7, compelling" really mean? The ability to generate virally leads to the capacity to redefine seamlessly.