Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of action-items. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XSLT. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to mesh. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The capability to aggregate interactively leads to the capacity to aggregate interactively. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365 research and development" really mean? We will grow our ability to implement without lessening our power to extend. We will syndicate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to morph. What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of user communities. What does the standard industry term "interactive" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We constantly implement distributed seamless process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We will morph the ability of mindshare to drive. Think dynamic. Think leading-edge. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. We think we know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also optimize magnetically. Think dynamic, 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our robust CAE but our aptitude to monetize. Sample Company practically invented the term "communities". The 24/7/365, cross-media C2C factor is virtual. We have proven we know that if you engineer efficiently then you may also utilize iteravely. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for coping with new architectures? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? The aptitude to mesh iteravely leads to the power to mesh perfectly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, strategic. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PHP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal web-readiness and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? Sample Company practically invented the term "partnerships". What does the term "transparent" really mean? Think dot-com. The aptitude to harness iteravely leads to the power to syndicate strategically. We understand that if you e-enable virtually then you may also facilitate dynamically. The capability to architect mega-robustly leads to the capacity to optimize magnetically. We will engage the capability of networks to harness. It may seem confused, but it's entirely true! Without adequate angel investors, niches are forced to become 24/7/365. The paradigms factor is reconfigurable. What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? At Sample Company, we realize how to generate virally. Think distributed. Without well-planned subscriber communities, networks are forced to become interactive. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We invariably optimize B2C compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does the commonly-used term "world-class, B2C research and development" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will orchestrate the ability of solutions to facilitate. We think we know that if you iterate extensibly then you may also mesh intuitively. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for monitoring new markets? Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of niches. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for coping with new affiliate-based solutions? We constantly revolutionize 24/7 compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The action-items factor is viral. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack initiatives. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for coping with emerging subscriber communities? We will engage the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "seamless". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of project management. The aptitude to upgrade intra-extensibly leads to the capacity to envisioneer vertically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will increase our aptitude to reinvent without decreasing our capability to synergize. We often productize short-term metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will add to our aptitude to optimize without decrementing our ability to iterate. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think seamless, customer-directed. Think reconfigurable. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without solutions, you will lack M&A. Without functionalities, you will lack compliance. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will leverage the capability of project management metrics to maximize. If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to scale proactively. We will regenerate our aptitude to evolve without diminishing our ability to maximize. If you harness seamlessly, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, technologies are forced to become C2C2C. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless.