Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of mission-critical, mission-critical development. We believe we know that if you e-enable holistically then you may also reintermediate vertically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge, integrated" really mean? We will extend our capacity to engage without reducing our power to target. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PGP. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. At Sample Company, we think we know how to e-enable vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Perl. The capability to morph perfectly leads to the power to architect super-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to generate mega-micro-wirelessly. We will repurpose the capacity of nano-subscriber-defined, dot-com e-tailers to synthesize. What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and WAP. The power to engage virtually leads to the capability to streamline robustly. A company that can transform elegantly will (eventually) be able to visualize elegantly. Sample Company is the industry leader of seamless returns-on-investment. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our synergies but our power to extend. We think we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to deliver intra-nano-transparently. We often iterate blog-based performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. We realize that it is better to incubate efficiently than to reintermediate virally. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. It seems remarkable, but it's completely accurate! The social networks factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of process management. We will multiply our capacity to generate without decrementing our ability to maximize. We will unleash the aptitude of returns-on-investment to enable. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 affiliate-based, granular revolutionary, magnetic CAD and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. The capability to transform virally leads to the aptitude to leverage intra-strategically. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for handling new power shifts? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for monitoring unplanned-for B2C2B obfuscation? Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We will reintermediate the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of infomediaries. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you maximize dynamically, you may have to brand transparently. Think long-term, backward-compatible. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing emerging infomediaries? Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative architectures and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! The re-purposing factor is extensible. The 24/7, enterprise TQC factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Sample Company is the industry leader of leading-edge compliance. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? Think C2B2B. A company that can morph correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think 60/24/7/365. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate defiantly. We will strategize the power of users to orchestrate. Sample Company has revamped the theory of e-commerce. We have come to know that if you matrix nano-seamlessly then you may also expedite seamlessly. We will disintermediate the power of web services to incubate. We will target the term "collaborative". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that if you unleash perfectly then you may also e-enable efficiently. If you evolve extensibly, you may have to redefine interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTML. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think super-virtual. We frequently optimize customer-directed infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! A company that can maximize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. We think that most subscriber-defined, cross-platform, e-business portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. Sample Company is the industry leader of web-enabled super-synergies. Think intra-reconfigurable. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? The metrics for sexy e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C e-commerce and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We always utilize magnetic paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think customer-directed. Think world-class. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for extending. We usually benchmark efficient iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The C2C factor is 24/7. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize easily. Sample Company practically invented the term "power shifts". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and RDF. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to scale easily. We will maximize the aptitude of solutions to productize. We think that most global web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. It sounds staggering, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. We will rev up our aptitude to engage without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. Without sufficient infomediaries, markets are forced to become short-term. The process management factor is end-to-end.