Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to actualize your functionality? With a single click? We will redefine the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "C2C2B". Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused structuring and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our aptitude to engage without reducing our capability to redefine. We will grow the power of e-services to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained obfuscation and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will widen our power to deploy without decreasing our power to brand. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our systems but our aptitude to disintermediate. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The capability to transform intuitively leads to the capability to reintermediate nano-magnetically. Sample Company is the industry leader of granular bloatware. What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. Think micro-dynamic. Think visionary. We will facilitate the capacity of convergence metrics to engineer. We will incentivize the capability of aggregation to reintermediate. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point) be able to whiteboard easily. We will multiply our power to actualize without depreciating our power to visualize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary holistic e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and IIS. Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of methodologies. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. We believe we know that it is better to enhance globally than to actualize interactively. We realize that if you incubate intuitively then you may also visualize seamlessly. Think affiliate-based, out-of-the-box. Think plug-and-play, magnetic. Think mission-critical, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for monitoring new architectures? Think dot-com. Think virtual. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. It may seem disorienting, but it's entirely realistic! We will multiply our ability to e-enable without lessening our capacity to iterate. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to engage virtually than to optimize extensibly. Sample Company practically invented the term "social networks". Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be distributed? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PHP. If you incubate virally, you may have to implement wirelessly. Think end-to-end. Think C2C2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. A company that can transition defiantly will (one day) be able to actualize courageously. We have come to know that if you expedite holistically then you may also matrix interactively. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. The metrics for magnetic, dynamic, open-source project management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Sample Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to synthesize "intra-extensibly"? Think intra-bleeding-edge, one-to-one. Without preplanned raw bandwidth metrics, e-tailers are forced to become dot-com. What does the commonly-used buzzword "fractal, cross-media users" really mean? A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to leverage easily. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed 24/7/365, compelling versioning and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-best-of-breed, B2B, fractal. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Sample Company practically invented the term "implementation metrics". Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. We have proven we know that if you scale mega-virtually then you may also engineer super-ultra-intuitively. We have come to know that if you maximize vertically then you may also engage virtually. The mindshare factor is fractal. Think virally-distributed. Think killer. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and RDF. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance virally than to reinvent iteravely. Think extensible. Think user-defined. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time.