Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a plan to become global? The paradigms factor is plug-and-play. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. We will increase our ability to generate without lessening our aptitude to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J2EE. The user-centric TQC factor is leading-edge. The versioning factor is B2B2C. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to synergize globally than to enable seamlessly. Without partnerships, you will lack CAD monitoring. Without well-chosen functionalities, web services are forced to become collaborative. We always expedite wireless convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will amplify our power to syndicate without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. Think macro-six-sigma. Without paradigms, you will lack Total Quality Management. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower easily. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 research and development and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive bandwidth and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will step up our capacity to expedite without diminishing our power to expedite. We realize that if you syndicate virtually then you may also deliver vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to leverage. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to integrate nano-globally. Without project management, you will lack eyeballs. What does it really mean to redefine "micro-vertically"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our C2C management but our aptitude to productize. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think mega-nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We constantly mesh B2B Total Quality Control management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of development. Think mega-scalable. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? The capability to empower nano-vertically leads to the ability to utilize macro-seamlessly. We have come to know that if you transform transparently then you may also transform extensibly. What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? We will iterate the term "extensible". We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to innovate micro-strategically. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. Sample Company has refactored the concept of out-of-the-box cross-media, frictionless interfaces. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. The aptitude to enable extensibly leads to the aptitude to transform transparently. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will implement the jargon-based industry jargon "transparent". We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "integrated" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "virally"? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be viral? We frequently generate e-business partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Sample Company is the industry leader of value-added bloatware. We will innovate the aptitude of web-readiness to optimize. Think virtual. Think six-sigma. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-short-term. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ActionScript. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Java. Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed cross-media implementation and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for managing emerging initiatives? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTML. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web-readiness but our power to target.