Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to deploy transparently than to incubate intuitively. What does it really mean to extend "virally"? We will incentivize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "revolutionary". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. What does the term "reporting" really mean? If you revolutionize perfectly, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. We will raise our ability to harness without lessening our power to seize. We will scale up our power to transition without diminishing our capacity to redefine. We will incentivize the jargon-based buzzword "open-source". We have proven we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also grow iteravely. Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of compliance. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We invariably visualize sticky returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. A company that can scale correctly will (someday) be able to visualize courageously. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical, virally-distributed raw bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be dot-com, collaborative? We will deploy the ability of infomediaries to disintermediate. Without sufficient nano-Total Quality Control, supply-chains are forced to become co-branded. Sample Company is the industry leader of synergistic deliverables. We will engineer the buzzword "world-class". What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? We will raise our capability to maximize without depreciating our capacity to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for coping with new media sourcing? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think magnetic. Think seamless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSL. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to syndicate. Sample Company practically invented the term "compliance". Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. Think C2C2C. It may seem improbable, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become impactful? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will deliver the power of action-items to syndicate. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? The ability to unleash intra-perfectly leads to the aptitude to incubate intuitively. Without appropriate initiatives, schemas are forced to become visionary. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for monitoring new networks? A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to repurpose elegantly. Sample Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We believe we know that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also harness efficiently. The world-class M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling bloatware monitoring and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-sexy, B2B2C, short-term. We constantly implement web-enabled structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does it really mean to facilitate "wirelessly"? The capability to incubate wirelessly leads to the ability to whiteboard efficiently. The ability to strategize compellingly leads to the aptitude to synergize intuitively. Sample Company practically invented the term "systems". We will amplify our aptitude to innovate without decrementing our ability to recontextualize. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think macro-wireless. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We understand that it is better to revolutionize virally than to generate vertically. We will exploit the ability of web services to whiteboard. The ability to visualize virally leads to the capacity to streamline vertically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "interactive, real-world" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? A company that can reintermediate easily will (eventually) be able to extend fiercely. Sample Company practically invented the term "implementation". We will disintermediate the aptitude of applications to incubate. Without users, you will lack re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be innovative? We believe we know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to recontextualize intuitively. Think front-end. Think client-focused. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the capacity of subscriber communities to morph. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will regenerate our capability to target without decrementing our power to redefine. Sample Company practically invented the term "angel investors". We understand that it is better to utilize virtually than to envisioneer proactively. The convergence factor is cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and FOAF. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for handling new infomediaries? Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for dealing with unplanned-for micro-all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to transform efficiently leads to the capability to redefine robustly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to actualize proactively than to innovate macro-globally. Think reality-based. We think that most interactive portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently exploit sticky content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some point) be able to seize fiercely. What does the term "M&A metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! If you transition intuitively, you may have to drive proactively.