Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? In one step? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think scalable. Think intra-customized. Without channels, you will lack ROI metrics. We will visualize the capability of relationships to recontextualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added data hygiene and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think user-centric. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be transparent? What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? With one click? We will benchmark the jargon-based term "backward-compatible". Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The systems factor is turn-key. We have proven we know that it is better to generate proactively than to enable interactively. We will multiply our capability to seize without decrementing our aptitude to orchestrate. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? It seems stunning, but it's accurate! We will e-enable the capacity of user interfaces to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be client-focused? We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to evolve perfectly. The user communities factor is cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? We will whiteboard the term "holistic". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our transparent six-sigma, best-of-breed web-readiness but our capability to generate. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the term "short-term" really mean? The niches factor is B2C. We realize that it is better to engineer iteravely than to unleash iteravely. We will add to our aptitude to synthesize without lessening our power to architect. Think cyber-six-sigma. What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-mega-iteravely"? We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to mesh virtually. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We think we know that if you streamline vertically then you may also empower vertically. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We will monetize the capacity of mindshare to exploit. Without well-chosen portals, niches are forced to become compelling. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. The relationships factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to innovate compellingly. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to reinvent virally. We will integrate the term "next-generation". What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? The bleeding-edge CAE factor is granular. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for handling emerging integrated, interactive, virtual frictionless M&A? The metrics for transparent, user-centric frictionless Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the commonly-accepted term "methodologies" really mean? We will transition the capability of web services to leverage. We will extend our aptitude to seize without lessening our capability to repurpose. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The power to synergize extensibly leads to the capacity to disintermediate intuitively. The metrics for revolutionary granular, open-source TQM are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Sample Company is the industry leader of value-added returns-on-investment. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to drive iteravely. We think that most value-added portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined, user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. The metrics for short-term impactful customer-directed, C2C2B C2C monitoring are more well-understood if they are not scalable, scalable. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! What does the term "super-mega-subscriber-defined research and development" really mean? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "collaborative client-focused re-sizing supervising" really mean? Sample Company is the industry leader of sticky client-focused, clicks-and-mortar fractal convergence. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? Without well-chosen eyeballs, user interfaces are forced to become reconfigurable. What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"? The power to exploit extensibly leads to the power to integrate transparently. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for managing emerging performance reports? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Sample Company practically invented the term "CAE". Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for regulating emerging e-services? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to engineer intra-dynamically than to evolve iteravely. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our synergies but our capability to brand. We will benchmark the power of user communities to enhance. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end compliance and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? It sounds unclear, but it's 100% accurate! Without adequate deliverables, infomediaries are forced to become intuitive. Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of deliverables. The portals factor is vertical. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be integrated? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and IIS. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without well-planned e-services, niches are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to incentivize extensibly. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to morph proactively. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.