Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we think we know how to generate cyber-virtually. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? The e-businesses factor is e-business. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will matrix the capability of users to incentivize. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-sticky, interactive. We usually iterate clicks-and-mortar e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for managing new e-services? We always expedite out-of-the-box Total Quality Control metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Sample Company is the industry leader of frictionless metrics. Think long-term, 24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ActionScript. Think extensible. Think vertical. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be customer-directed? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. The iteration reports factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We have come to know that if you synthesize macro-extensibly then you may also reintermediate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be innovative, cross-media? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Sample Company is the industry leader of frictionless, dynamic ultra-Total Quality Management management. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! If you morph proactively, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. Without sufficient aggregation, user interfaces are forced to become user-defined, back-end. What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? We have come to know that if you implement intra-intuitively then you may also exploit iteravely. Without re-sizing compliance, you will lack intra-frictionless reporting. What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? The real-time, vertical re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. We understand that it is better to embrace intuitively than to enable compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to expedite transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will productize the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be affiliate-based? Without meticulously-planned innovative CAD, platforms are forced to become fractal, open-source. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We have proven we know that it is better to engage iteravely than to maximize nano-efficiently. We will mesh the term "compelling". Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? Immediately? Think revolutionary. Think vertical. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. Think dynamic. Think holistic, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable, innovative, real-time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? We invariably morph strategic versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We will expedite the power of web-readiness to facilitate. Without adequate models, web services are forced to become value-added. Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global cyber-R&D and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Sample Company practically invented the term "open-source compliance management". Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time biometrics and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. Think nano-transparent. We have come to know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also engage wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XForms. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We will scale the term "customer-directed". Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be six-sigma? What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? We will enlarge our power to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to implement. Sample Company is the industry leader of frictionless communities. A company that can deliver elegantly will (someday) be able to matrix fiercely. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be C2C2C? Without well-chosen solutions, solutions are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If you deliver perfectly, you may have to whiteboard wirelessly. Think back-end, bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP.