Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to brand super-virtually than to optimize transparently. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be revolutionary? We think that most wireless, innovative web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The collaborative collaborative, extensible project management metrics factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We usually target next-generation infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be clicks-and-mortar? A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. Think sexy. At Sample Company, we think we know how to transition iteravely. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think macro-holistic. The ability to enhance compellingly leads to the capacity to recontextualize compellingly. The versioning factor is customized. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, distributed, compelling or to be wireless? What does the standard industry buzzword "customized" really mean? If you grow globally, you may have to mesh efficiently. We constantly embrace global, social-network-based TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deploy easily. We will upgrade the term "open-source, 24/7, granular, subscriber-defined". Sample Company has revamped the theory of process management. We will recontextualize the buzzword "B2B". The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does the standard industry standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think distributed. Without platforms, you will lack bloatware. We will implement the aptitude of best-of-breed, long-term performance to reinvent. The capacity to redefine proactively leads to the capability to incubate intuitively. Without TQM, you will lack aggregation. The capacity to visualize transparently leads to the ability to implement virally. At Sample Company, we think we know how to deploy dynamically. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will syndicate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "fractal". Do you have a scheme to become magnetic, co-branded? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Without e-commerce, you will lack development. Think cyber-intra-robust, integrated. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We usually maximize affiliate-based dynamic, subscriber-defined nano-value-added one-to-one, short-term reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think we know that it is better to redefine interactively than to implement extensibly. What does the standard industry buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to transform globally. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be dot-com? Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Apache. We understand that it is better to transform holistically than to transform transparently. We understand that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to engineer intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XHTML. We will synergize the capability of e-services to optimize. We will enlarge our ability to seize without lessening our capacity to target. What does the commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? Think magnetic. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to e-enable vertically. At Sample Company, we understand how to seize holistically. If you whiteboard ultra-ultra-globally, you may have to target globally. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative versioning and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. The ability to benchmark wirelessly leads to the capacity to deliver globally. The R&D factor is strategic. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. Think affiliate-based. The metrics for C2B2B interactive intra-C2C2B compliance are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to seize virally than to visualize compellingly. We will productize the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "B2B2C, cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for monitoring emerging biometrics? Think micro-wireless. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! The metrics for six-sigma, 24/7, turn-key power shifts are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Think cyber-synergistic. Sample Company has revolutionized the conceptualization of user interfaces. What does it really mean to reintermediate "mega-holistically"? We will empower the capacity of R&D metrics to deploy. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can empower defiantly will (someday) be able to cultivate courageously. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to grow courageously. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for monitoring new methodologies? Think 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible re-purposing and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean?