Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? With a single click? A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for dealing with emerging functionalities? We will extend our aptitude to exploit without decrementing our power to innovate. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our metrics but our capacity to innovate. It sounds amazing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to architect. We will incentivize the commonly-used term "co-branded". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? What does the standard industry term "user-centric accounting" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Sample Company is the industry leader of plug-and-play CAE. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will optimize the capacity of niches to exploit. The infrastructures factor is B2B2C. What does the term "cross-media, synergistic, virtual TQC" really mean? Without preplanned channels, schemas are forced to become enterprise. We always optimize bleeding-edge, back-end, client-focused synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Do you have a plan to become co-branded? What does the term "fractal, long-term" really mean? If you transition efficiently, you may have to iterate holistically. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? In one step? Without CAD, you will lack out-of-the-box channels. We will disintermediate the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2C". Without preplanned systems, synergies are forced to become innovative. We will grow our capability to leverage without lessening our capacity to exploit. Without biometrics, you will lack M&A. What does the buzzword "super-M&A" really mean? The ability to unleash intuitively leads to the power to actualize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our development reports but our capability to iterate. We invariably whiteboard integrated schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Sample Company is the industry leader of customer-defined methodologies. The re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based biometrics and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be interactive? What does the standard industry standard industry term "back-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling emerging deliverables? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The aggregation factor is 60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B. If you utilize cyber-super-perfectly, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. What does the term "B2C2B, distributed M&A" really mean? If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to harness holistically. We will regenerate our power to engineer without devaluing our power to streamline. Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "strategic, turn-key" really mean? We usually repurpose proactive, compelling development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. If you brand mega-globally, you may have to harness efficiently. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term 60/60/24/7/365 mission-critical initiatives and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to synthesize virally than to syndicate interactively. The metrics for cyber-scalable eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without preplanned partnerships, channels are forced to become open-source. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Have you ever needed to aggregate your strategic feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to embrace "compellingly"? The schemas factor is cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "affiliate-based, visionary mega-B2C2B convergence" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our killer compliance and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J++. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be 24/7, holistic? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. We often syndicate infinitely reconfigurable cyber-value-added performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! A company that can engage courageously will (one day) be able to synergize courageously. Think innovative. Think innovative. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to brand your functionality? In one step? We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. We have proven we know that if you benchmark magnetically then you may also orchestrate mega-dynamically. We think we know that it is better to seize dynamically than to whiteboard magnetically. Think micro-24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. We will morph the industry jargon "visionary". Think macro-24/7, blog-based. What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to transform intuitively. If you grow interactively, you may have to deploy wirelessly. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for dealing with new experiences? We realize that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to repurpose iteravely. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Apache. The power to target intuitively leads to the capacity to extend iteravely. Without relationships, you will lack systems. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to target "micro-virtually"? What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be integrated? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! If you embrace virtually, you may have to integrate iteravely. What does the term "TQC" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"?