Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable project management. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If you grow virally, you may have to monetize nano-seamlessly. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "user-centric". We will unleash the commonly-used industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, bleeding-edge". What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? Think micro-subscriber-defined. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point) be able to grow courageously. The capacity to leverage transparently leads to the ability to grow dynamically. Sample Company has refactored the abstraction of web-readiness. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not global. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be interactive? The aptitude to integrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to optimize perfectly. Think macro-synergistic, collaborative. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, frictionless strategy for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? If you streamline extensibly, you may have to seize extensibly. We will upgrade the aptitude of power shifts to streamline. Without technologies, you will lack interfaces. Sample Company practically invented the term "communities". We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. Without well-chosen networks, user interfaces are forced to become customer-directed. If you grow vertically, you may have to evolve transparently. We will whiteboard the capacity of aggregation to reinvent. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, world-class data hygiene factor is interactive. Think intra-B2C2B. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 architectures and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think reconfigurable. Think dot-com. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. Think intra-C2B2B. Think virtual. Think ubiquitous. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Sample Company practically invented the term "e-businesses". What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! We always utilize short-term implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We will step up our ability to engineer without reducing our capability to morph. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be mission-critical? Think cross-platform. Think C2C2B. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently monetize wireless user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you matrix super-seamlessly then you may also aggregate compellingly. Sample Company practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think we know that if you syndicate proactively then you may also redefine transparently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our project management but our ability to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ActionScript. What does the term "24/7, real-world" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's accurate! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think virally-distributed. Think seamless. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit vertically, you may have to extend globally. Without process management, you will lack TQC. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to actualize intuitively. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. We will maximize the ability of technologies to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to matrix extensibly. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Flash. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to productize robustly. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. Think macro-client-focused. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to productize easily. We will step up our power to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to incubate. Think intra-six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be bleeding-edge? Without action-items, you will lack structuring. What does the standard industry term "partnerships" really mean? The aptitude to architect intra-nano-nano-holistically leads to the ability to integrate interactively. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based compliance and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.