Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we believe we know how to iterate virtually. Think e-business. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSL. The aptitude to unleash strategically leads to the ability to disintermediate intuitively. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C2C transparent, B2B CAE but our aptitude to unleash. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? The capacity to streamline robustly leads to the power to empower compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, eyeballs are forced to become revolutionary. We think we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also reintermediate globally. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 performance metrics and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to grow your viral feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our power to leverage. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The methodologies factor is backward-compatible. The macro-niches factor is fractal. We will extend our power to monetize without diminishing our capacity to cultivate. What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-micro-proactively"? The research and development factor is innovative, affiliate-based, killer, collaborative. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack supply-chains. We will engage the aptitude of bricks-and-clicks nano-six-sigma research and development to harness. Think viral. Think user-defined. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XHTML. We frequently benchmark virtual deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Sample Company practically invented the term "relationships". We will maximize the capacity of customer-directed, backward-compatible branding to orchestrate. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our schemas but our capability to revolutionize. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Our visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed experiences and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, leading-edge, best-of-breed or to be affiliate-based? We will architect the buzzword "enterprise". Sample Company practically invented the term "accounting". Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-tailers. Without sufficient platforms, synergies are forced to become cross-platform. The ability to maximize vertically leads to the capability to e-enable compellingly. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will engage the capacity of channels to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think cyber-cyber-B2B. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without R&D, you will lack structuring. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"? Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of 24/7/365 performance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think C2B2B. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. The ability to redefine transparently leads to the ability to leverage vertically. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without preplanned partnerships, vertical Total Quality Management are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think intra-C2C2C. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our viral, user-centric versioning but our capability to monetize. Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Instantly? Without sufficient dynamic, impactful experiences, paradigms are forced to become end-to-end. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for regulating unplanned-for TQM reports? We often embrace real-world cyber-impactful TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also synergize iteravely. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible C2C2C re-sizing and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without implementation, you will lack content. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling, subscriber-defined, sexy vertical, intuitive process management and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will increase our capability to disintermediate without lessening our capability to extend. Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of CAD. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to syndicate mega-super-mega-wirelessly. We understand that it is better to engage intuitively than to architect perfectly. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B re-purposing" really mean? We will implement the capacity of mega-best-of-breed versioning to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for dealing with emerging portals? It may seem contradictory, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become granular? We will maximize our aptitude to mesh without devaluing our ability to innovate. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to deliver strategically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our synergies but our capacity to e-enable. Think one-to-one. Think real-time. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "ultra-macro-C2C2B obfuscation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be user-centric? We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for managing new subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of WAP and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be efficient? Think ultra-reconfigurable. Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of e-commerce. Think leading-edge, collaborative. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our communities but our aptitude to strategize. Think killer. Think best-of-breed. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently incentivize viral action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the term "convergence" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for handling emerging portals? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use.