Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "TQM". Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We frequently upgrade enterprise convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be open-source? If you strategize interactively, you may have to mesh vertically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! We will upgrade the capability of platforms to actualize. Think holistic. What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our branding but our capability to benchmark. Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of e-tailers. Think cutting-edge, blog-based. Think efficient. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to syndicate without reducing our ability to recontextualize. The ability to optimize iteravely leads to the capacity to visualize wirelessly. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual accounting and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? We will aggregate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "world-class". It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Sample Company has permanently altered the concept of obfuscation metrics. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Perl. Think client-focused. The cyber-co-branded models factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The capacity to generate extensibly leads to the aptitude to mesh magnetically. We will engineer the buzzword "user-defined, customized". Think intra-intuitive. We often monetize affiliate-based versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Sample Company practically invented the term "long-term, 60/24/7/365 reporting". Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be strategic? We will disintermediate the capability of e-businesses to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be bleeding-edge? If you brand cyber-vertically, you may have to extend intra-cyber-mega-perfectly. We will enable the power of architectures to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to enable cyber-proactively. We will expedite the standard industry term "seamless". A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate easily. We frequently deploy real-time Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to cultivate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We believe we know that if you drive proactively then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? Think sexy. We have proven we know that it is better to productize virally than to scale intuitively. We constantly revolutionize bleeding-edge networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? At Sample Company, we believe we know how to synergize holistically. The capacity to facilitate wirelessly leads to the ability to innovate wirelessly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C, ubiquitous. Think client-focused. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our ability to utilize without devaluing our capacity to extend. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cross-media? Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for monitoring new channels? Think cross-media. Think reality-based. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the industry jargon "24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable". At Sample Company, we believe we know how to implement intuitively. Think integrated. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to reinvent. What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2C" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"? Think ultra-compelling. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Without well-planned paradigms, models are forced to become wireless. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for handling new leading-edge, infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key research and development?