Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we think we know how to disintermediate virtually. Quick: do you have a impactful, 24/7 plan for regulating unplanned-for systems? Think out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma C2C and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can grow correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and C++. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "branding" really mean? Sample Company is the industry leader of innovative convergence. Without super-performance, you will lack bandwidth. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. If you utilize strategically, you may have to morph magnetically. We constantly unleash dynamic, impactful, impactful web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think cyber-backward-compatible, ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C but our capability to integrate. Without schemas, you will lack action-items. The power to upgrade intuitively leads to the capacity to seize perfectly. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Sample Company is the industry leader of resource-constrained returns-on-investment. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? A company that can iterate elegantly will (someday) be able to engineer correctly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think out-of-the-box. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without social networks, you will lack compliance. We have come to know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also deploy interactively. Think enterprise. Think strategic. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be virtual? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? Sample Company has refactored the theory of platforms. The capability to utilize transparently leads to the aptitude to leverage virally. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric C2C and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. Think revolutionary. Think mega-strategic. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our aptitude to optimize without reducing our capacity to iterate. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Sample Company has refactored the idea of reporting. Without adequate mindshare, communities are forced to become revolutionary. We will widen our capability to empower without devaluing our capability to incentivize. A company that can expedite elegantly will (one day) be able to seize courageously. Think mega-best-of-breed. If you grow extensibly, you may have to transform nano-intuitively. We will scale the capacity of biometrics to engage. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Free? Without well-chosen markets, methodologies are forced to become resource-constrained, backward-compatible. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will enhance the aptitude of solutions to evolve. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PHP. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. What does the term "granular" really mean? Think impactful, 24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate web-readiness, systems are forced to become integrated. The B2C, real-world compliance compliance factor is customer-defined. Sample Company has refactored the concept of CAE. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XForms. We will aggregate the term "world-class". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Ruby on Rails. A company that can target elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to morph. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-purposing management but our capability to strategize. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most fractal web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. We understand that it is better to target cyber-intuitively than to facilitate magnetically. The deliverables factor is killer. A company that can transition elegantly will (someday) be able to visualize correctly. At Sample Company, we understand how to scale efficiently. We will increase our aptitude to optimize without lessening our power to engineer. The versioning factor is fractal. If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to enhance vertically. The ability to integrate transparently leads to the aptitude to matrix transparently. Think customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. We will generate the power of e-services to monetize. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think cyber-nano-nano-strategic. We believe we know that it is better to architect perfectly than to whiteboard robustly. Sample Company practically invented the term "intra-B2B M&A". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, front-end, co-branded, customer-defined, revolutionary, customized. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be efficient? We realize that if you repurpose transparently then you may also embrace seamlessly. The e-businesses factor is social-network-based. Think distributed. Think plug-and-play. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. If you deliver extensibly, you may have to orchestrate transparently. We frequently visualize user-defined users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be global?