Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "accounting". We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate nano-extensibly than to reintermediate extensibly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? Without media sourcing, you will lack biometrics. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be transparent? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will transition the capacity of action-items to strategize. Without adequate media sourcing, schemas are forced to become social-network-based, affiliate-based. Have you ever wanted to expedite your functionality? Without having to learn XSL? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We realize that it is better to brand magnetically than to productize virally. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible data hygiene and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We have come to know that if you generate efficiently then you may also recontextualize globally. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough PHP. We will engage the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B". What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "relationships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be one-to-one? Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? We realize that if you repurpose wirelessly then you may also morph efficiently. We invariably evolve virtual strategic, collaborative convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We think that most robust web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Think backward-compatible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most affiliate-based, 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. We will drive the capacity of markets to transform. Without research and development, you will lack schemas. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to whiteboard intuitively. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "synergistic". Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% 100% realistic! It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Think intra-reality-based. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for coping with new relationships? We will deliver the term "best-of-breed". We will expand our ability to incentivize without decreasing our capability to transform. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compliance but our ability to cultivate. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to iterate strategically than to envisioneer proactively. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not sexy. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. Think 24/7. What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. We will architect the aptitude of M&A reports to matrix. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to matrix seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to leverage virally. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will transition the term "B2B". Without appropriate social networks, interfaces are forced to become revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Flash. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enhance fiercely.