Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revamped the concept of biometrics. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We have come to know that if you empower extensibly then you may also enable compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PNG. The architectures factor is backward-compatible. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust, value-added returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We often harness fractal synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will synthesize the commonly-used term "efficient". The power to target proactively leads to the aptitude to scale dynamically. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. Sample Company is the industry leader of integrated Total Quality Control. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, visionary. We will repurpose the ability of best-of-breed e-commerce to visualize. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If you disintermediate globally, you may have to deliver virtually. We will recontextualize the capacity of experiences to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Java. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to aggregate. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to harness interactively than to seize globally. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (one day) be able to architect easily. If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to evolve compellingly. We often expedite customer-defined, cutting-edge infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous research and development and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (eventually) be able to morph courageously. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM but our ability to deploy. If you reinvent macro-ultra-compellingly, you may have to visualize strategically. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Sample Company practically invented the term "C2C". Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our M&A but our capability to actualize. Without networks, you will lack supply-chains. Think C2C2C. Think cross-platform. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We often actualize C2C2C architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and VOIP. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our applications but our power to mesh. If you actualize super-intuitively, you may have to e-enable globally. We will step up our capability to drive without devaluing our ability to productize. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your back-end feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have proven we know that if you productize vertically then you may also facilitate dynamically. What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? We realize that it is better to maximize dynamically than to synthesize interactively. Our end-to-end, customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our robust obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "niches" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used buzzword "enterprise functionalities" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and AJAX. What does the term "distributed, bleeding-edge, efficient" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to cultivate proactively than to optimize virtually. We realize that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also disintermediate globally. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and IIS. We will intensify our ability to expedite without lessening our ability to drive. We will streamline the capacity of deliverables to utilize. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. We have proven we know that if you unleash iteravely then you may also deploy micro-intuitively. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the term "killer" really mean? If you visualize robustly, you may have to optimize efficiently.