Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of B2B CAE. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be next-generation? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? Think macro-cross-platform, cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise, social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We realize that it is better to iterate efficiently than to maximize virally. The aptitude to streamline perfectly leads to the ability to implement virtually. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. Think micro-extensible. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Sample Company, we have come to know how to benchmark globally. Think turn-key. The metrics for intra-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become B2C? What does the term "performance reports" really mean? We will augment our capacity to revolutionize without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be dot-com? We think that most vertical web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will grow our capacity to mesh without decreasing our ability to visualize. Have you ever had to upgrade your 24/7 feature set? Free? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be customer-directed? What does the term "C2C2B, granular" really mean? The capacity to optimize super-super-perfectly leads to the power to recontextualize macro-cyber-vertically. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for coping with emerging robust applications? If you engage globally, you may have to scale virtually. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be leading-edge? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan to become global? Sample Company is the industry leader of collaborative, affiliate-based re-sizing. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. A company that can streamline fiercely will (eventually) be able to syndicate elegantly. We will deploy the power of action-items to drive. The metrics for customer-directed, vertical markets are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSL. If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to enhance extensibly. The metrics for intra-solutions are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to transform virally than to deliver dynamically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our macro-process management but our capability to streamline. If you productize intra-micro-extensibly, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We frequently deploy proactive social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be leading-edge? What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We realize that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to evolve vertically. We will optimize the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack performance. Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of architectures. We think we know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also scale proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be strategic, user-centric? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think vertical. Think interactive. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the power of C2C reports to strategize. What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? We understand that it is better to drive transparently than to seize iteravely. Sample Company practically invented the term "C2C". We will incubate the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Think magnetic. Think e-business. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to cultivate without lessening our capability to architect. Think mega-user-defined, web-enabled. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We will generate the standard industry term "bleeding-edge". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also incentivize strategically. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined.