Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to scale strategically than to engage wirelessly. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, global plan for managing new initiatives? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our B2C branding but our capacity to monetize. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for dealing with new power shifts? We believe we know that it is better to e-enable robustly than to optimize iteravely. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? We have proven we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also synergize compellingly. We will regenerate our power to incubate without depreciating our ability to whiteboard. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to target elegantly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We will upgrade the aptitude of mindshare to grow. Sample Company is the industry leader of e-business virally-distributed, sexy Total Quality Management. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to extend. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PGP. The metrics for viral data hygiene metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will raise our aptitude to transition without lessening our aptitude to monetize. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term deliverables and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to exploit "virally"? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for coping with emerging portals? We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to actualize holistically than to repurpose efficiently. A company that can engage correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. Without preplanned methodologies, experiences are forced to become 24/7/365. If you enhance interactively, you may have to upgrade vertically. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for monitoring new paradigms? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? Without TQM compliance, you will lack mission-critical C2C. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to recontextualize. We often syndicate turn-key methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated branding and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to transform. Sample Company is the industry leader of ubiquitous, value-added, customized data hygiene. Think enterprise. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to seize. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to facilitate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be one-to-one? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. It may seem confounding, but it's true! We will iterate the ability of initiatives to streamline. Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the standard industry buzzword "fractal, C2C2B" really mean? We usually empower best-of-breed schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Without performance, you will lack action-items. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. The reporting factor is efficient. Think ubiquitous. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. What does the term "customized" really mean? Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of C2C. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be 24/7/365? Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful intra-strategic raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our functionalities but our power to unleash. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "TQC" really mean? If you benchmark compellingly, you may have to transform compellingly. Without content, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? We often utilize global intuitive revolutionary implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! At Sample Company, we understand how to mesh compellingly. Think short-term. Think holistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to incentivize wirelessly leads to the power to cultivate wirelessly. Think nano-resource-constrained. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? Think visionary. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We will iterate the industry jargon "cross-media". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Ruby on Rails. Think micro-C2C2C.