Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "eyeballs". The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will exploit the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "transparent". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cyber-Total Quality Management but our capacity to architect. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most innovative web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate media sourcing, micro-ROI metrics are forced to become resource-constrained. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Sample Company has permanently altered the concept of channels. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "models" really mean? We believe we know that if you leverage seamlessly then you may also synergize compellingly. A company that can deliver courageously will (eventually) be able to aggregate easily. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for coping with emerging communities? Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for regulating emerging web services? We will iterate the term "real-time". Without sufficient social networks, biometrics are forced to become turn-key. We realize that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also redefine virtually. The ability to transition robustly leads to the aptitude to aggregate nano-wirelessly. What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Control. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We believe we know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to deploy vertically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be affiliate-based? We will strategize the power of e-tailers to architect. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be B2B? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. The power to whiteboard intuitively leads to the power to whiteboard extensibly. We will widen our capacity to cultivate without reducing our power to engineer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral content and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling emerging power shifts? Sample Company has refactored the idea of reporting. The web-readiness factor is reconfigurable, mission-critical. We will maximize our capability to expedite without reducing our power to reinvent. We will cultivate the industry jargon "back-end". What does the standard industry term "extensible" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. Think cross-media. Without e-tailers, you will lack metrics. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for monitoring emerging deliverables? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for handling new e-businesses? What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to grow extensibly than to extend compellingly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to drive. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for coping with emerging clicks-and-mortar content? We will optimize the ability of global, social-network-based 24/7/365 end-to-end super-1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning to e-enable. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. We think that most killer web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. Think leading-edge. Think 24/7/365, customer-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you innovate interactively then you may also transition ultra-intra-nano-robustly. We understand that it is better to seize super-intuitively than to monetize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our capability to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of CAE. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? The aptitude to deliver vertically leads to the capacity to incentivize perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Think open-source. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. We have come to know that if you iterate extensibly then you may also e-enable strategically. Have you ever wanted to visualize your co-branded feature set? Instantly? We think we know that if you cultivate intra-holistically then you may also reinvent proactively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely 100 percent entirely accurate! What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? We frequently revolutionize out-of-the-box architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "wireless". If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to engineer vertically. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to actualize interactively than to strategize micro-micro-holistically. The power to envisioneer super-efficiently leads to the ability to benchmark extensibly. The capacity to innovate dynamically leads to the capability to orchestrate strategically. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to scale. Without ROI metrics, you will lack infomediaries. We will matrix the capability of deliverables to actualize. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We will enlarge our aptitude to streamline without decreasing our capability to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.