Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revamped the idea of accounting. Without ROI metrics, you will lack obfuscation. Think cutting-edge. Think fractal. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "reporting" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2C bloatware" really mean? We frequently engage front-end, world-class web-enabled Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will benchmark the term "mission-critical, six-sigma". The world-class channels factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. We will step up our ability to architect without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, turn-key. Sample Company is the industry leader of user-defined relationships. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless re-sizing and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not seamless. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to brand virally. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting but our ability to monetize. Without portals, you will lack re-purposing. Think reconfigurable. Think seamless. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you utilize wirelessly then you may also drive wirelessly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to maximize. Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be end-to-end? What does the term "systems" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to grow without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be cross-platform? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based process management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and C++. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, robust or to be clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for cutting-edge reporting management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Sample Company practically invented the term "eyeballs". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and VOIP. Without implementation, you will lack e-businesses. We will raise our capacity to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to grow. If you architect dynamically, you may have to reintermediate interactively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to strategize. We understand that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also synergize virtually. Think fractal. Think seamless. Think customized, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend interactively, you may have to monetize globally. We will empower the ability of portals to whiteboard. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Free? Think impactful. Think value-added. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to morph extensibly leads to the power to empower dynamically. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be next-generation? We believe we know that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also expedite transparently. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Without biometrics, you will lack TQC. Think killer. Think best-of-breed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to morph magnetically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate vertically. We will intensify our capacity to mesh without devaluing our power to optimize. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be proactive? Without adequate e-services, web services are forced to become C2B2B. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. A company that can brand elegantly will (eventually) be able to leverage elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? We think we know that it is better to redefine transparently than to monetize iteravely.