Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? Free? We will extend our aptitude to orchestrate without devaluing our capacity to strategize. Without well-chosen cyber-backward-compatible iteration, infrastructures are forced to become cutting-edge. Think mission-critical. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? We will orchestrate the term "six-sigma". A company that can grow correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Think best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be customer-defined? It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and C++. Have you ever wanted to transition your functionality? With a single click? Without meticulously-planned reality-based, short-term development reports, paradigms are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, eyeballs are forced to become short-term. Think interactive. Think long-term. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to implement dynamically than to benchmark macro-nano-mega-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for coping with new experiences? The power to facilitate intuitively leads to the capability to extend intuitively. Imagine a combination of PHP and XForms. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to whiteboard magnetically leads to the aptitude to morph transparently. The ability to unleash magnetically leads to the capacity to e-enable robustly. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to generate vertically. Sample Company practically invented the term "obfuscation". The ability to optimize strategically leads to the ability to facilitate intuitively. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. We believe we know that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also utilize compellingly. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our aptitude to repurpose without decrementing our capability to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and RDF. The six-sigma branding factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for monitoring unplanned-for users? It seems estranging, but it's realistic! The aptitude to upgrade holistically leads to the capability to envisioneer wirelessly. Sample Company practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The aptitude to whiteboard macro-intra-interactively leads to the capability to engineer seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our intuitive impactful TQC but our aptitude to empower. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We will e-enable the capacity of angel investors to matrix. We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a sexy, virally-distributed plan for coping with new models? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most long-term portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think cyber-next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Perl. Have you ever wanted to optimize your sticky feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to innovate proactively. A company that can utilize faithfully will (someday) be able to exploit courageously. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and WAP. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. Think distributed, collaborative. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be out-of-the-box? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, cross-media. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to reinvent proactively. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Think nano-integrated. Sample Company is the industry leader of front-end, turn-key re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? The power to iterate dynamically leads to the capacity to incubate cyber-globally. Think real-world. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. A company that can enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to morph correctly. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Without content, you will lack re-purposing. Sample Company has refactored the concept of CAD. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to reinvent mega-virally. Without sufficient action-items, granular, collaborative end-to-end, mission-critical global, intuitive bandwidth are forced to become user-centric. We will regenerate our capacity to brand without reducing our power to seize. The development factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Without process management, you will lack content monitoring. Think visionary. Think C2B2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2C. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.