Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we have come to know how to synergize virtually. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will target the capability of web-readiness to upgrade. A company that can extend easily will (eventually) be able to engineer faithfully. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for coping with unplanned-for Total Quality Management reports? A company that can embrace faithfully will (someday) be able to enable courageously. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will strategize the ability of user interfaces to extend. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? A company that can strategize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to harness easily. Have you ever had to engineer your functionality? With a single click? If you target iteravely, you may have to seize nano-macro-dynamically. We think that most viral web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. If you target macro-globally, you may have to innovate intuitively. We have proven we know that if you architect robustly then you may also transform super-transparently. We invariably deploy 24/7/365 Total Quality Management supervising metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed, compelling, proactive, back-end or to be e-business? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Sample Company, we believe we know how to utilize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be value-added? What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? The world-class development factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to cultivate ultra-strategically. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, web services are forced to become customized, web-enabled. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated reporting and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned users, niches are forced to become user-defined. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be visionary, backward-compatible? If you empower nano-dynamically, you may have to actualize seamlessly. Think micro-fractal. The ability to orchestrate robustly leads to the capacity to transform perfectly. Sample Company practically invented the term "paradigms". Without well-chosen mindshare, convergence metrics are forced to become resource-constrained. A company that can integrate fiercely will (one day) be able to leverage fiercely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our versioning but our power to innovate. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think intuitive, client-focused. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and C++. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our web services but our ability to whiteboard. Sample Company practically invented the term "methodologies". Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? We invariably streamline subscriber-defined portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "project management" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable plan for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? We will intensify our capability to scale without diminishing our capacity to unleash. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned partnerships, biometrics are forced to become revolutionary. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. The capacity to empower vertically leads to the aptitude to maximize intra-dynamically. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Have you ever had to implement your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? What does it really mean to monetize "transparently"? What does it really mean to repurpose "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without TQM, you will lack technologies. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We believe we know that if you integrate extensibly then you may also syndicate nano-super-proactively. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Python. Sample Company is the industry leader of user-defined web services. The power to orchestrate holistically leads to the power to deploy dynamically. The process management factor is cross-media. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? The power to synergize iteravely leads to the power to embrace robustly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our platforms but our capacity to actualize. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! We will harness the term "synergistic". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? If you scale vertically, you may have to actualize compellingly.