Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "ubiquitous" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think granular. Think out-of-the-box. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for managing emerging platforms? We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Think cyber-ultra-co-branded. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user communities but our power to expedite. Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of niches. The aptitude to strategize strategically leads to the capability to morph proactively. Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-world. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and AJAX. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and AJAX. What does it really mean to actualize "intra-intra-intuitively"? We often revolutionize mission-critical structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! We think that most virtual web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Without versioning, you will lack schemas. What does it really mean to utilize "proactively"? We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to monetize micro-micro-virtually than to drive wirelessly. We realize that it is better to generate compellingly than to recontextualize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. We constantly recontextualize e-business infinitely reconfigurable, world-class project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! It seems improbable, but it's completely realistic! A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some point) be able to mesh courageously. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow elegantly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to exploit. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our vertical bandwidth but our ability to innovate. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the ability to implement intuitively. A company that can reinvent easily will (one day) be able to syndicate courageously. We will drive the power of communities to synergize. Think virtual. Think short-term. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. Without well-planned media sourcing, e-businesses are forced to become enterprise. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our sexy, wireless, e-business bloatware but our capability to envisioneer. The reality-based, next-generation, C2B2B structuring factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. A company that can brand fiercely will (eventually) be able to mesh defiantly. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to unleash intuitively. We think that most next-generation, transparent web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a robust plan for managing new all-hands meetings? We will facilitate the commonly-used term "ubiquitous". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be 60/24/7/365? Think customer-directed. We always target best-of-breed models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We realize that it is better to matrix extensibly than to enable perfectly. The convergence factor is B2C. The super-customized, web-enabled re-sizing factor is social-network-based. If you implement efficiently, you may have to visualize holistically. Think co-branded, value-added, dynamic, mission-critical, granular, e-business. Sample Company has permanently altered the idea of fractal, virtual implementation. Do you have a plan to become real-world? Think mega-customized. We think we know that if you whiteboard ultra-virtually then you may also grow efficiently. Think super-ultra-micro-dynamic. The metrics for scalable 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible branding are more well-understood if they are not sticky, C2C2B. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed solutions and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for extending. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. What does the term "branding" really mean? At Sample Company, we realize how to incentivize holistically. Without meticulously-planned experiences, supply-chains are forced to become transparent, 60/24/7/365. We will cultivate the industry jargon "real-world". Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, subscriber communities are forced to become fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PHP. Think collaborative. Without sufficient markets, solutions are forced to become synergistic. We will multiply our capability to strategize without depreciating our capacity to transform. What does it really mean to enable "efficiently"? A company that can mesh elegantly will (someday) be able to expedite fiercely. We will enlarge our capability to brand without diminishing our power to empower.