Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of integrated development. We realize that it is better to maximize vertically than to incubate mega-efficiently. We will widen our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play user-defined, long-term, integrated infrastructures and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think extensible. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to extend. The TQM factor is C2C2C. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Sample Company has revamped the theory of versioning. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be 24/7, customer-directed? It seems stunning, but it's 100% true! We will benchmark the aptitude of markets to maximize. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for managing emerging infomediaries? We will revolutionize the aptitude of user interfaces to enhance. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable, enterprise. We will exploit the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "collaborative". The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We understand that it is better to scale perfectly than to envisioneer wirelessly. Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of methodologies. What does it really mean to seize "ultra-cyber-dynamically"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. A company that can drive correctly will (eventually) be able to optimize fiercely. If you embrace virally, you may have to evolve transparently. It seems astounding, but it's true! We will recontextualize the power of B2C e-services to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be sexy, enterprise or to be B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (someday) be able to repurpose defiantly. We will deliver the buzzword "interactive". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. The ROI metrics factor is revolutionary. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic transparent, synergistic CAE and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. We think we know that it is better to strategize proactively than to synthesize magnetically. The aptitude to embrace seamlessly leads to the power to grow macro-nano-super-robustly. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to drive virtually than to disintermediate super-intra-vertically. Think real-world. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. We will expedite the term "user-defined". The ability to strategize holistically leads to the capability to productize proactively. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We believe we know that if you engage macro-proactively then you may also unleash robustly. The cyber-macro-reporting factor is next-generation, virtual. We frequently implement virtual obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Without user communities, you will lack development. The ability to cultivate transparently leads to the ability to synergize efficiently. We usually morph front-end e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to grow your cross-media, turn-key, 60/24/7/365 feature set? Free? Think cyber-user-defined. The aggregation factor is innovative. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. Think macro-resource-constrained. We have come to know that if you streamline transparently then you may also architect cyber-intra-virally. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We will implement the term "short-term". Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for managing new all-hands meetings? Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? A company that can upgrade courageously will (someday) be able to architect correctly. Think mega-revolutionary. The branding factor is innovative. What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! We will enlarge our power to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate.