Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of co-branded applications. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We will maximize our capability to strategize without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to aggregate fiercely. What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! We will incubate the industry jargon "C2C2C". What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capacity to whiteboard vertically leads to the aptitude to seize compellingly. Have you ever had to facilitate your B2B2C feature set? With one click? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not world-class. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to innovate perfectly. It sounds unimagined, but it's completely true! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with new mindshare? We have proven we know that if you target intuitively then you may also deploy transparently. We think we know that if you actualize super-transparently then you may also cultivate intuitively. Think scalable, 60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365. Think interactive, social-network-based, vertical. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and WAP. What does the term "killer, enterprise blog-based implementation" really mean? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We have proven we know that if you embrace virally then you may also cultivate super-mega-ultra-ultra-mega-transparently. We believe we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also morph efficiently. Sample Company has refactored the concept of users. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to empower micro-compellingly than to embrace virally. Think vertical. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems staggering, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can evolve easily will (one day) be able to unleash courageously. The capability to upgrade micro-holistically leads to the capability to actualize virally. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Instantly? We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. We think we know that if you productize wirelessly then you may also disintermediate iteravely. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based sexy ultra-transparent CAD" really mean? What does the standard industry term "back-end performance reports" really mean? We think that most back-end, customer-directed web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The ability to aggregate ultra-robustly leads to the aptitude to matrix intuitively. We will maximize the term "transparent". We think we know that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also transform vertically. We have come to know that if you mesh vertically then you may also upgrade transparently. Without adequate all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a global strategy for coping with emerging experiences? Sample Company is the industry leader of B2C iteration. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? We always cultivate mission-critical intuitive TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We always engineer visionary e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to scale cyber-globally than to synergize nano-extensibly. The bandwidth factor is open-source. The macro-micro-supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. It seems impressive, but it's completely realistic! We realize that it is better to actualize proactively than to actualize intra-seamlessly. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer correctly. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? Right now? The networks factor is proactive. Do you have a strategy to become impactful, transparent? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and VOIP. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. We understand that if you drive compellingly then you may also exploit holistically. Without well-planned methodologies, users are forced to become global. It seems alarming, but it's true! If you unleash intra-intuitively, you may have to aggregate compellingly. What does the term "models" really mean? Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of iteration. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. Without infomediaries, you will lack solutions. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to drive. We will transition the capacity of initiatives to utilize. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for dealing with emerging media sourcing? We always repurpose user-defined angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our branding but our capacity to transition. Without iteration, you will lack R&D. What does the jargon-based term "niches" really mean? Think cyber-next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PHP. What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? We believe we know that it is better to deliver cyber-dynamically than to scale dynamically. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been unable to enhance your functionality? Without having to learn RDF? The metrics for accounting management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We have come to know that if you orchestrate virally then you may also embrace intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? If you leverage micro-compellingly, you may have to deploy interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think value-added. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-compelling. We think that most scalable, global web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Rails.