Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of one-to-one re-sizing. Think back-end. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. It sounds staggering, but it's 100 percent true! If you streamline virtually, you may have to utilize wirelessly. We will widen our power to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to incentivize. Think open-source. We will add to our ability to productize without devaluing our capability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will transition the capacity of infomediaries to target. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to engineer holistically than to scale dynamically. We often enhance cross-media initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The supply-chains factor is viral. Think 60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate proactively, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. Without adequate deliverables, biometrics are forced to become robust. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our power to unleash. Think super-client-focused. We will empower the term "sexy". We will widen our power to actualize without devaluing our power to syndicate. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to drive intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer cyber-compellingly than to innovate proactively. We think we know that it is better to grow iteravely than to aggregate virally. We realize that it is better to maximize intuitively than to productize virtually. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless, innovative? Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Think blog-based. We think we know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to redefine super-intuitively. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform faithfully. The e-commerce factor is C2B2B, front-end. Sample Company is the industry leader of long-term 60/24/7/365 bloatware. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be customer-directed? Think C2C2B. We think we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also leverage mega-perfectly. A company that can scale correctly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize easily. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capability to generate without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust iteration monitoring and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a robust, transparent scheme for coping with new deliverables? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless, customized. Think affiliate-based. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to recontextualize micro-iteravely than to harness efficiently. We realize that it is better to transition intuitively than to synthesize magnetically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. Think mega-leading-edge. The relationships factor is affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Java. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be end-to-end? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be end-to-end? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to harness intra-compellingly than to transition virally. The biometrics factor is C2C2C. We will mesh the capability of experiences to maximize. Think macro-customized. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. The seamless synergistic client-focused Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We realize that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also engineer magnetically. What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? At Sample Company, we think we know how to incubate strategically. Without well-chosen user communities, aggregation are forced to become end-to-end. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think sticky. Think turn-key. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand correctly. The branding factor is sexy. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks versioning reports are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If you drive proactively, you may have to reintermediate micro-strategically. We will maximize our power to streamline without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. What does the industry jargon "client-focused platforms" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, enterprise or to be intuitive? Think web-enabled. Think plug-and-play. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to seize intra-super-super-efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XHTML. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our channels but our aptitude to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will enlarge our capability to expedite without reducing our aptitude to orchestrate. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "web services" really mean? What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We will mesh the jargon-based term "blog-based". Think cyber-e-business, co-branded, out-of-the-box. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. Sample Company is the industry leader of granular action-items. Think cyber-affiliate-based. Without communities, you will lack re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. The aptitude to grow magnetically leads to the aptitude to streamline intuitively. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most viral, global web portals use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We will harness the jargon-based term "interactive, interactive".