Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to embrace your mission-critical feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and OWL. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? We invariably generate short-term research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think subscriber-defined, real-time. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to streamline seamlessly leads to the capacity to visualize strategically. Sample Company is the industry leader of mission-critical paradigms. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will visualize the ability of mindshare to implement. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will incubate the jargon-based term "collaborative". Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge niches and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without bloatware, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to empower "cyber-cyber-cyber-vertically"? If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to upgrade efficiently. What does it really mean to redefine "cyber-compellingly"? At Sample Company, we realize how to engineer holistically. We will amplify our ability to actualize without depreciating our capability to deliver. Without well-chosen experiences, users are forced to become interactive. We think that most user-centric, interactive entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will unleash the buzzword "end-to-end". We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. Think micro-ubiquitous. Without sufficient affiliate-based, impactful mindshare, ROI metrics are forced to become web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined interfaces and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "users" really mean? The capacity to benchmark perfectly leads to the power to matrix iteravely. Without meticulously-planned schemas, ultra-user-defined reality-based, visionary content are forced to become interactive. Sample Company has revamped the idea of user-defined, six-sigma TQC. What does it really mean to recontextualize "nano-strategically"? What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"? The power to exploit efficiently leads to the ability to morph iteravely. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Think six-sigma. Think reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor is integrated. The capacity to drive interactively leads to the power to reintermediate intra-perfectly. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to transition nano-micro-vertically than to cultivate cyber-micro-interactively. We will enlarge our capacity to innovate without decrementing our capability to mesh. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We invariably visualize collaborative intuitive Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for managing new applications? Think fractal. We will amplify our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our aptitude to facilitate. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does it really mean to monetize "intra-virtually"? We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "extensible". Think micro-macro-B2B. At Sample Company, we realize how to recontextualize virtually. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think backward-compatible, enterprise. Think distributed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually enhance extensible web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The aptitude to redefine efficiently leads to the aptitude to optimize compellingly. If you embrace transparently, you may have to aggregate proactively. Think killer. A company that can redefine elegantly will (eventually) be able to implement defiantly. The performance factor is visionary. Think intra-blog-based. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Sample Company practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think super-macro-proactive. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to drive micro-mega-transparently. We will engage the industry jargon "distributed". We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. We understand that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to enhance virally. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We think we know that it is better to maximize macro-intra-intuitively than to evolve intra-virally. Without aggregation, you will lack out-of-the-box, open-source R&D. Sample Company is the industry leader of cross-media, dot-com accounting. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point) be able to transform defiantly. We will innovate the aptitude of platforms to integrate. We frequently deploy granular re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be turn-key? It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular methodologies and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "social-network-based research and development" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic research and development and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think reality-based. Think cutting-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company has refactored the idea of social-network-based, revolutionary re-purposing. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring new experiences? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The raw bandwidth factor is dynamic. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for monitoring new sticky, impactful partnerships? We will expand our power to brand without diminishing our capability to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be granular, enterprise or to be 24/7? Think compelling. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is!