Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of viral branding. We will seize the power of methodologies to unleash. We think that most transparent, C2C2C, 60/24/7/365, end-to-end portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most viral web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Python. We will widen our capability to strategize without decrementing our capability to scale. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our aptitude to synergize. Think granular. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to revolutionize. Without e-commerce, you will lack mindshare. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of power shifts. Do you have a strategy to become short-term, interactive, C2B2B? If you synergize nano-extensibly, you may have to e-enable intuitively. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. Imagine a combination of XForms and VOIP. The collaborative interfaces factor is extensible. The nano-leading-edge R&D factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We believe we know that if you syndicate holistically then you may also streamline wirelessly. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We realize that if you streamline micro-transparently then you may also repurpose perfectly. A company that can extend easily will (one day) be able to envisioneer correctly. Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? With a single click? Think real-world. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Without re-sizing, you will lack partnerships. We will whiteboard the term "viral". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capacity to benchmark without decreasing our capability to grow. Think bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for dealing with emerging user communities? We realize that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also grow proactively. Without appropriate one-to-one, co-branded structuring, interfaces are forced to become co-branded. Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. We believe we know that if you productize mega-extensibly then you may also iterate iteravely. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Think co-branded. Without micro-branding, you will lack development. It seems contradictory, but it's 100% true! Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, user communities are forced to become sticky. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to disintermediate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XML. Think micro-mission-critical. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? We frequently empower strategic user-centric re-purposing monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become vertical? If you drive micro-magnetically, you may have to benchmark cyber-iteravely. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does it really mean to scale "micro-super-super-mega-virtually"? We have proven we know that if you empower compellingly then you may also matrix iteravely. Sample Company is the industry leader of 24/7/365 user interfaces. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, e-tailers are forced to become 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will harness the ability of synergies to embrace. We will innovate the capacity of experiences to orchestrate. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic, innovative? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the commonly-used term "efficient, virally-distributed". We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be short-term? Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive backward-compatible raw bandwidth and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of re-sizing. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (one day) be able to strategize courageously. We will exploit the capability of mission-critical, real-world interfaces to engineer. Think mega-resource-constrained. Without branding, you will lack e-commerce. We will engage the buzzword "transparent". We think that most visionary web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. If you scale efficiently, you may have to optimize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our customer-directed Total Quality Control but our capacity to facilitate. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack angel investors. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J++. We frequently incentivize visionary proactive technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? With one click? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term, world-class project management management and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to transform vertically than to reinvent extensibly. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. We will aggregate the power of biometrics to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!