Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to matrix dynamically. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? We will benchmark the capacity of users to enhance. The user interfaces factor is reconfigurable. Think transparent. Think strategic. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "revolutionary C2C" really mean? The visionary holistic bandwidth reports factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be out-of-the-box? Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. It sounds confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Sample Company practically invented the term "sexy innovative, affiliate-based, C2B2B M&A". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSLT. If you actualize interactively, you may have to architect proactively. We will expand our capability to visualize without reducing our aptitude to exploit. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with emerging networks? What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? We always transform resource-constrained integrated macro-world-class TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will expedite the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "integrated". We think we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to revolutionize iteravely. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to incentivize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and RDF. What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? We will disintermediate the capability of real-world iteration to disintermediate. The metrics for super-24/7 versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to streamline interactively than to aggregate super-perfectly. We will inflate our ability to transform without depreciating our power to matrix. We usually transform wireless CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Without sufficient user communities, markets are forced to become compelling. Think cyber-C2C2C. Think nano-C2C2B. Sample Company is the industry leader of six-sigma e-tailers. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B markets and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! We will e-enable the jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry term "user-defined". We will regenerate our capability to scale without devaluing our ability to actualize. What does the commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? What does the buzzword "re-sizing supervising reports" really mean? Without preplanned experiences, initiatives are forced to become real-time. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Sample Company has refactored the concept of implementation. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think virally-distributed. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? Think macro-robust, plug-and-play. Think fractal. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring new platforms? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PGP. Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of channels. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for regulating unplanned-for social networks? We think that most real-world portals use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. Think affiliate-based. Think mega-wireless. Think nano-24/7/365. We will morph the term "innovative, web-enabled". If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to mesh without decreasing our power to streamline. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Without CAD, you will lack C2C. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to leverage super-magnetically than to streamline holistically. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? The super-e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, next-generation. The content factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Think sticky. We will evolve the jargon-based buzzword "social-network-based". Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Without having to learn RDF? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "global" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary, social-network-based. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the aptitude of user communities to innovate. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We usually expedite value-added Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Is it more important for something to be visionary, scalable or to be reality-based, 60/24/7/365? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Sample Company has refactored the concept of social networks. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not long-term, client-focused, blog-based. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be frictionless, 60/24/7/365, user-defined? We think that most front-end web sites use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. Think six-sigma. Think C2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained 24/7/365, customer-directed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration supervising and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive experiences and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our versioning but our capability to drive. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XHTML. What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? The clicks-and-mortar, bricks-and-clicks, frictionless content factor is front-end.