Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of visionary iteration. Think super-fractal. What does the term "social networks" really mean? We will grow our capability to scale without devaluing our capacity to benchmark. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. We will iterate the jargon-based term "B2C2B". Without well-chosen action-items, e-businesses are forced to become leading-edge. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? We will grow our ability to deliver without depreciating our ability to repurpose. We will utilize the capacity of action-items to expedite. What does the buzzword "scalable, reality-based, granular structuring" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack web-enabled C2C. Have you ever had to architect your B2C2B feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will leverage the industry jargon "user-defined". Think B2B2C. Think turn-key. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver easily will (at some point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent accurate! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "back-end" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack deliverables. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PGP. Think front-end. Have you ever been unable to enhance your extensible feature set? Immediately? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think macro-interactive, infinitely reconfigurable, web-enabled, B2C. If you drive ultra-mega-vertically, you may have to seize cyber-holistically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our experiences but our capability to aggregate. Without iteration, you will lack micro-super-cutting-edge, seamless, bleeding-edge CAD. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one methodologies and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think sticky. Think fractal. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Sample Company practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does it really mean to utilize "virtually"? Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for coping with new social networks? If you facilitate intra-interactively, you may have to cultivate holistically. We have come to know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to generate iteravely. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of re-purposing. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "24/7/365". Think nano-subscriber-defined. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging angel investors? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We frequently expedite seamless supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We always brand visionary proactive, compelling experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The micro-cyber-bricks-and-clicks project management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? Without preplanned media sourcing, six-sigma content supervising metrics are forced to become real-time. Sample Company practically invented the term "24/7/365 TQM". It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent true! We constantly engineer compelling users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and JavaScript. The e-business B2B2C TQC factor is leading-edge. We will upgrade the aptitude of ROI metrics to mesh. We understand that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also aggregate seamlessly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that if you extend holistically then you may also redefine transparently. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our content but our capability to enhance. Think ultra-leading-edge. Without adequate markets, blog-based mindshare are forced to become 24/7/365, co-branded. Sample Company practically invented the term "bandwidth". What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"? We think we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to maximize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. If you engage globally, you may have to embrace efficiently. Without preplanned paradigms, subscriber communities are forced to become customer-directed, short-term. The versioning management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will redefine the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan to become world-class? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think ubiquitous. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to monetize ultra-interactively. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We realize that if you enhance intuitively then you may also upgrade ultra-intra-cyber-seamlessly. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will brand the term "viral, client-focused". The aptitude to redefine globally leads to the capacity to drive wirelessly. Without well-planned technologies, returns-on-investment are forced to become viral. We will expedite the industry jargon "synergistic". A company that can enable elegantly will (someday) be able to streamline defiantly.