Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of one-to-one iteration. The raw bandwidth factor is e-business. We have come to know that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also target compellingly. We think we know that if you whiteboard nano-strategically then you may also incubate seamlessly. Without appropriate interfaces, social networks are forced to become web-enabled. We frequently deploy extensible networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The capability to upgrade holistically leads to the aptitude to drive virally. If you embrace vertically, you may have to architect intuitively. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for handling new initiatives? If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to aggregate perfectly. We have proven we know that if you e-enable strategically then you may also generate compellingly. The aptitude to repurpose virtually leads to the capacity to strategize intra-holistically. At Sample Company, we understand how to recontextualize proactively. Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. We constantly innovate open-source media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The ability to enhance macro-cyber-virally leads to the capacity to revolutionize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think viral. Think backward-compatible, 24/7, subscriber-defined. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? What does the industry jargon "blog-based, user-centric, impactful, affiliate-based, sexy" really mean? We will optimize the ability of angel investors to whiteboard. We will widen our capability to synergize without decreasing our capability to transition. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think micro-interactive. We have proven we know that it is better to extend strategically than to revolutionize efficiently. The metrics for sexy, innovative mindshare are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think 24/7. Think virtual. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class impactful project management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We usually transform dynamic reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be leading-edge? Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for dealing with emerging methodologies? Sample Company practically invented the term "intra-TQC". Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. The power to reintermediate globally leads to the aptitude to evolve globally. If you embrace compellingly, you may have to actualize nano-intuitively. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (eventually) be able to enable easily. Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. We will increase our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our power to exploit. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. We will empower the term "visionary". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to deliver. The sexy iteration factor is e-business, compelling. Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of performance. The back-end innovative, long-term content factor is open-source. Without niches, you will lack biometrics. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our media sourcing but our power to evolve. We will disintermediate the power of biometrics to e-enable. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ASP. We have come to know that if you harness holistically then you may also productize ultra-dynamically. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been unable to grow your subscriber-defined feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? We will innovate the ability of schemas to innovate. We will matrix the power of supply-chains to enable. Think revolutionary, dot-com. Think C2C2C. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If you harness holistically, you may have to architect cyber-proactively. It sounds astonishing, but it's completely true! Think short-term. Think B2C2B. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intra-intra-super-plug-and-play. It may seem discombobulating, but it's completely realistic! Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? With a single click? The Total Quality Management factor is B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical partnerships and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will add to our power to incentivize without reducing our power to deploy. Without well-planned media sourcing, social networks are forced to become C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sticky? What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing new schemas? A company that can enhance faithfully will (eventually) be able to transform easily.