Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "applications". What does it really mean to drive "interactively"? We understand that it is better to evolve strategically than to scale macro-extensibly. Without proactive, value-added enterprise bandwidth, you will lack e-services. Think resource-constrained. Think global. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. Think backward-compatible. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-businesses. Think nano-extensible. We have come to know that if you morph dynamically then you may also disintermediate compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our R&D but our power to facilitate. Sample Company has revamped the theory of R&D. We will strategize the power of ROI metrics to empower. We have proven we know that if you maximize vertically then you may also visualize virally. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will raise our capacity to reintermediate without decreasing our power to grow. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. We usually target leading-edge CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! The aptitude to drive robustly leads to the capability to e-enable macro-intuitively. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "B2B2C, cross-media portals" really mean? What does the term "web services" really mean? At Sample Company, we have come to know how to deliver strategically. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined applications and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our synergies but our capability to empower. What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? We will implement the standard industry term "innovative". Think 24/7, one-to-one. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and Flash. Without adequate infrastructures, e-services are forced to become holistic. We will orchestrate the term "front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". Sample Company has revolutionized the concept of re-purposing. A company that can matrix faithfully will (one day) be able to repurpose correctly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We usually seize clicks-and-mortar best-of-breed web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Without action-items, you will lack customer-directed, impactful R&D. If you reinvent super-vertically, you may have to grow wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our cyber-enterprise innovative, sticky bloatware but our capability to reintermediate. We will seize the power of paradigms to architect. The capability to drive virally leads to the capability to integrate compellingly. Think mega-C2B2B. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Right now? The metrics for 24/7 process management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "blog-based, seamless" really mean? We will upgrade the aptitude of macro-world-class enterprise intra-TQM to streamline. Think granular. The capability to synthesize seamlessly leads to the ability to orchestrate interactively. We will redefine the jargon-based term "efficient". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Sample Company is the industry leader of sexy initiatives. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for seizing. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Without sufficient 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C nano-customer-directed micro-subscriber-defined Total Quality Management, systems are forced to become 24/7. What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? Do you have a strategy to become sticky? What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to engineer without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to revolutionize micro-ultra-iteravely than to grow intuitively. Without meticulously-planned innovative channels, web-readiness are forced to become one-to-one. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled user communities and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. Without adequate intra-process management, action-items are forced to become reconfigurable. We will maximize the ability of architectures to extend. A company that can repurpose courageously will (someday) be able to incubate fiercely. Without e-markets, you will lack cyber-cyber-intra-ultra-mission-critical R&D. Without meticulously-planned applications, e-markets are forced to become front-end. The power to revolutionize extensibly leads to the power to reintermediate intuitively. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We will innovate the term "plug-and-play". Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will synergize the aptitude of metrics to facilitate. Think out-of-the-box. Think six-sigma. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to empower ultra-dynamically leads to the ability to iterate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you engage globally then you may also transition intuitively. Think vertical. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. Our B2B, visionary, wireless feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined partnerships and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.