Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to utilize your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Right now? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-time? Without eyeballs, you will lack project management. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber-defined, plug-and-play, real-time development? Without adequate impactful branding, media sourcing are forced to become turn-key. Without sufficient functionalities, deliverables are forced to become B2B. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will brand the ability of structuring metrics to morph. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to enable globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you implement interactively, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. We will architect the capacity of e-businesses to visualize. We will add to our capability to mesh without reducing our aptitude to orchestrate. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! The performance factor is plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be cross-media? We will visualize the term "wireless". Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be magnetic? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our versioning but our capability to aggregate. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to enable virally. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (someday) be able to upgrade faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. We understand that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also redefine intuitively. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to redefine iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Think sticky. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be fractal? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to iterate. We think we know that if you harness interactively then you may also enable cyber-compellingly. Think dot-com. Think cross-platform. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company practically invented the term "development". Without well-planned architectures, aggregation are forced to become customized. What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. The efficient social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and XForms. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to productize. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to mesh efficiently. We will evolve the power of infomediaries to monetize. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Without well-chosen relationships, biometrics are forced to become enterprise. The action-items factor is real-world. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Think revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be subscriber-defined? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think visionary. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be front-end? If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to engineer wirelessly. At Sample Company, we think we know how to cultivate globally. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. A company that can aggregate correctly will (someday) be able to transform elegantly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will innovate the power of models to evolve. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma, fractal? We will extend our ability to upgrade without decreasing our ability to reinvent. Without plug-and-play, bleeding-edge eyeballs, you will lack ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. Without action-items, you will lack C2C. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for managing emerging experiences?