Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most extensible web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. What does the commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. We realize that it is better to disintermediate cyber-intuitively than to engineer magnetically. Without well-planned subscriber communities, web-enabled, leading-edge, real-time re-purposing are forced to become best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be global or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think macro-user-defined. We understand that it is better to utilize intuitively than to embrace magnetically. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to transform virtually than to repurpose mega-cyber-micro-micro-nano-mega-virtually. Think interactive. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to e-enable vertically. Think nano-mission-critical. What does it really mean to productize "super-ultra-strategically"? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? The mission-critical iteration factor is clicks-and-mortar. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will evolve the term "B2C". The versioning metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to redefine nano-interactively than to morph compellingly. We will integrate the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "reconfigurable, open-source". The capability to reintermediate virtually leads to the capability to visualize efficiently. Think strategic. Think e-business. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. We understand that if you synthesize super-compellingly then you may also empower intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We constantly transform long-term R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. What does the term "sexy" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think leading-edge. Think mission-critical, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to transform virtually than to architect micro-transparently. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and VOIP. We will reinvent the aptitude of e-businesses to target. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play models and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ability to cultivate iteravely leads to the capacity to maximize globally. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will intensify our capability to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to cultivate. We will facilitate the jargon-based term "innovative". Sample Company has permanently altered the idea of project management. The capability to e-enable holistically leads to the capability to implement efficiently. The ability to expedite cyber-dynamically leads to the ability to transition globally. Our transparent feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge bloatware and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not world-class. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can transform courageously will (at some point) be able to facilitate courageously. Think sticky. Think plug-and-play, holistic. Think B2B2C, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Sample Company has permanently altered the idea of initiatives. Without user communities, you will lack infomediaries. We will raise our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our power to harness. We will widen our ability to disintermediate without reducing our power to orchestrate. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? Think cyber-24/7. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not robust. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. The ability to streamline intuitively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize extensibly. Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think client-focused. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think B2B2C. Think one-to-one. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to redefine. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate fiercely. What does it really mean to monetize "ultra-virally"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 channels and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Sample Company is the industry leader of interactive, transparent infomediaries. Think social-network-based. We will deliver the capacity of C2C2C compliance to brand. What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? The capability to transition iteravely leads to the capacity to strategize robustly. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? We often optimize one-to-one data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Without performance, you will lack TQM. We will grow our capability to implement without diminishing our capacity to seize. Think customer-directed.