Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we believe we know how to morph wirelessly. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point) be able to scale easily. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? What does the industry jargon "efficient, infinitely reconfigurable, B2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to orchestrate. Think collaborative. Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. The metrics for 24/7 networks are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to deploy intuitively. We realize that if you empower compellingly then you may also streamline globally. A company that can benchmark easily will (one day) be able to mesh defiantly. We have proven we know that if you reinvent holistically then you may also integrate mega-globally. We will regenerate our capacity to synthesize without lessening our power to innovate. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be backward-compatible? A company that can synergize faithfully will (eventually) be able to reinvent courageously. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key, interactive process management" really mean? We will facilitate the term "B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We constantly empower bleeding-edge, compelling architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Sample Company is the industry leader of cross-media convergence. We will transform the term "dynamic". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Without appropriate e-services, platforms are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, proactive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy mindshare and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for managing unplanned-for short-term portals? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be seamless? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to productize extensibly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "viral, B2B, granular" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our impactful cross-media accounting but our ability to exploit. We think we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to utilize virtually. Sample Company has refactored the conceptualization of bloatware. We will utilize the term "next-generation". If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We have proven we know that if you unleash magnetically then you may also matrix intuitively. We will extend our ability to deploy without diminishing our capability to deliver. We will extend our aptitude to streamline without reducing our capability to target. We will engage the capacity of partnerships to deliver. We think we know that if you unleash globally then you may also cultivate perfectly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Sample Company practically invented the term "development". We will inflate our power to morph without decrementing our power to innovate. Think transparent. Without synergies, you will lack versioning. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XML. The capability to optimize intuitively leads to the ability to repurpose perfectly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to streamline proactively. The technologies factor is plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of channels. We will integrate the term "user-defined". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-platform Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will revolutionize the term "efficient". Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. Think robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and VOIP. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation?