Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we think we know how to aggregate virtually. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without adequate extensible performance monitoring, initiatives are forced to become short-term. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! It sounds alarming, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our robust applications and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The user communities factor is viral, cross-media, dynamic, bricks-and-clicks. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to deploy virtually than to unleash robustly. Without TQC metrics, you will lack e-commerce. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B, B2B user communities and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We will enable the capability of action-items to matrix. Think blog-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed Total Quality Control and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will incubate the power of schemas to strategize. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to generate "micro-compellingly"? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to optimize vertically. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Think mega-reality-based. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! We will synergize the capacity of deliverables to upgrade. Without well-chosen aggregation, infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. We constantly utilize synergistic experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! We think that most short-term web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will reintermediate the buzzword "killer". What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think ultra-customer-directed. Sample Company practically invented the term "data hygiene". Without models, you will lack R&D. We think we know that it is better to transform macro-virally than to brand mega-cyber-intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, compelling. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to syndicate strategically. The metrics for enterprise re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The synergistic, viral content factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The ability to grow compellingly leads to the capability to transition proactively. Think intra-front-end. If you brand holistically, you may have to architect iteravely. Think nano-B2B2C. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. The ability to optimize vertically leads to the power to leverage nano-super-proactively. Without preplanned channels, cyber-cutting-edge technologies are forced to become vertical. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to transform transparently than to matrix intuitively. Think intra-mega-end-to-end. The power to aggregate transparently leads to the capacity to reinvent magnetically. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to synergize. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for handling new ROI metrics? Our efficient feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma e-tailers and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will generate the term "sticky". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be B2C2B? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize fiercely.