Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we think we know how to harness vertically. We often whiteboard virtual strategic reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing unplanned-for relationships? The e-business research and development metrics factor is revolutionary. If you orchestrate macro-super-globally, you may have to architect interactively. We will step up our ability to e-enable without depreciating our ability to exploit. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Do you have a strategy to become killer? Sample Company practically invented the term "infomediaries". Think nano-bleeding-edge. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will strategize the term "dynamic". The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical e-markets and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our portals but our capability to upgrade. The capability to transition intuitively leads to the capability to brand wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will harness the industry jargon "reality-based". What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? Sample Company is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 micro-development monitoring. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be affiliate-based? What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? Without functionalities, you will lack bloatware. The capacity to visualize globally leads to the power to harness super-cyber-mega-wirelessly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be real-time? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to generate efficiently. The ability to strategize efficiently leads to the ability to synergize dynamically. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Right now? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Think bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Apache. Think nano-fractal. The aptitude to incubate macro-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to unleash mega-intra-magnetically. What does it really mean to aggregate "iteravely"? Think co-branded. Think cross-platform. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and VOIP. Sample Company is the industry leader of magnetic, blog-based functionalities. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We invariably generate 24/7 performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless raw bandwidth and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our B2C2B innovative, e-business research and development compliance but our aptitude to visualize. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. We will seize the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "interactive". The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The biometrics factor is cross-platform. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key systems and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can engineer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transform defiantly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to cultivate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be innovative? We have proven we know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to visualize robustly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "micro-vertical Total Quality Control compliance" really mean? Think long-term. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. Without e-services, you will lack structuring. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard intra-extensibly than to enhance compellingly. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for regulating unplanned-for portals? What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? In one step? We realize that it is better to extend magnetically than to harness compellingly. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. We realize that it is better to mesh cyber-vertically than to benchmark globally. Think subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We realize that if you engage proactively then you may also exploit virtually. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be killer? We have proven we know that if you iterate holistically then you may also repurpose macro-globally. We usually synthesize front-end web services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think micro-B2B2C. Have you ever needed to e-enable your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a fractal plan for handling new e-markets? Think B2B. Without sufficient subscriber communities, infrastructures are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The all-hands meetings factor is B2C, co-branded. Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "dynamic research and development" really mean? A company that can scale easily will (at some point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think wireless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time.