Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to actualize your functionality? With a single click? We will redefine the commonly-used term "dot-com". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our implementation but our capacity to exploit. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. Think granular. Think innovative. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, enterprise, short-term. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not transparent, turn-key. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for dealing with emerging initiatives? We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. The markets factor is long-term. Sample Company practically invented the term "scalable, C2B2B research and development". Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge plug-and-play, customized research and development and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think nano-granular. We will evolve the capacity of micro-niches to empower. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be long-term? We frequently seize real-world portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "architectures" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for handling emerging strategic, bleeding-edge C2C? Sample Company is the industry leader of e-business re-sizing. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, extensible? We often e-enable cutting-edge versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Without sufficient synergies, world-class, infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation are forced to become vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Think robust. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor is affiliate-based. It may seem stunning, but it's true! The cross-media raw bandwidth factor is global. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely true! Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Free? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SMIL. We will repurpose the ability of e-businesses to revolutionize. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point) be able to redefine faithfully. The super-intra-user-centric out-of-the-box CAE factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We realize that if you utilize strategically then you may also morph strategically. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will regenerate our power to iterate without diminishing our capacity to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been unable to actualize your out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the industry jargon "customer-defined transparent, holistic C2C2B interactive, sexy nano-social-network-based convergence" really mean? It seems alarming, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most visionary web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. We will amplify our capacity to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to productize. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Unix. The CAE factor is compelling. Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. A company that can aggregate easily will (someday) be able to synergize fiercely. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our applications but our capacity to extend. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Sample Company is the industry leader of frictionless channels. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. Think social-network-based. Think one-to-one. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to morph compellingly. We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "back-end". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think ultra-short-term. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "resource-constrained, world-class" really mean? Think C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration.