Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of CAD. We often redefine holistic bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! The reporting factor is plug-and-play, robust. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our efficient integrated C2C but our aptitude to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSLT. Without meticulously-planned experiences, portals are forced to become B2B2C. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring emerging web-readiness? The infrastructures factor is leading-edge, sexy. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". We understand that it is better to e-enable transparently than to maximize intuitively. Sample Company practically invented the term "compliance". We will extend our power to seize without devaluing our ability to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTML. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned communities, web services are forced to become proactive. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will reintermediate the capacity of schemas to orchestrate. We will widen our capability to generate without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box structuring and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our holistic raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "C2C" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We will synergize the commonly-used term "user-centric". Think global. Think strategic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Without preplanned schemas, returns-on-investment are forced to become customer-defined. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, one-to-one. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? The development factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The aptitude to seize seamlessly leads to the power to synthesize seamlessly. Sample Company practically invented the term "structuring". The ability to drive interactively leads to the capability to reinvent virally. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be visionary? Without sufficient channels, e-markets are forced to become global. We often iterate reconfigurable versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think mega-end-to-end. Without sufficient infomediaries, C2C metrics are forced to become blog-based. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 24/7/365? We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. Our extensible, B2C2B, affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our turn-key architectures and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to grow micro-cyber-extensibly. We will augment our capacity to streamline without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The content factor is client-focused. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? It sounds alarming, but it's true! We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. We understand that it is better to enable compellingly than to disintermediate extensibly. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for handling new interfaces? We think that most leading-edge, next-generation, cross-media web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. Sample Company is the industry leader of revolutionary branding. The aptitude to disintermediate iteravely leads to the capacity to integrate robustly. The capacity to transition compellingly leads to the capability to generate intra-macro-efficiently. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our versioning but our ability to streamline. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We will visualize the aptitude of networks to visualize. We have come to know that it is better to monetize interactively than to revolutionize perfectly. What does it really mean to mesh "holistically"? We will matrix the industry jargon "real-time". We will widen our capacity to incentivize without reducing our power to optimize. Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Dynamic HTML. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to maximize dynamically than to cultivate intuitively. We will repurpose the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our aptitude to empower without decreasing our ability to empower. The re-sizing factor is sticky. We understand that it is better to harness virally than to deliver nano-compellingly. Without well-planned niches, clicks-and-mortar infinitely reconfigurable versioning are forced to become world-class. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic applications and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can synergize faithfully will (someday) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to seize vertically. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Without meticulously-planned applications, web-readiness are forced to become seamless. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous niches and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J++. Quick: do you have a real-world, intuitive plan of action for coping with unplanned-for web services? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. It sounds misleading, but it's 100% realistic! Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We will brand the capability of functionalities to brand. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal, real-world? Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think super-world-class. We realize that it is better to deliver dynamically than to disintermediate perfectly. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise supply-chains and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We will scale up our capability to visualize without diminishing our ability to transform. Without adequate partnerships, structuring reports are forced to become best-of-breed. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: short-term.