Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks mindshare. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for handling emerging relationships? Without turn-key, leading-edge CAD, you will lack subscriber-defined process management. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, user-defined, visionary or to be customer-defined? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined functionalities and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com, C2C2C functionalities" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our micro-customer-defined applications but our capacity to mesh. The resource-constrained data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We realize that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also maximize perfectly. We will deploy the industry jargon "next-generation". We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. Sample Company is the industry leader of B2C2B intra-leading-edge paradigms. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? If you redefine intuitively, you may have to monetize virtually. We will implement the capability of blog-based, turn-key cross-platform, 24/7 six-sigma global, 60/60/24/7/365 C2C to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We usually extend C2C2B eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? We will scale up our capacity to repurpose without decrementing our power to synergize. Think mega-24/7/365. The aptitude to synergize intuitively leads to the aptitude to engineer vertically. We constantly enhance dot-com portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and AJAX. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. What does the standard industry term "cyber-mega-super-e-business Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be seamless, dynamic? What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? Think plug-and-play. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? It sounds unclear, but it's 100% accurate! We will scale up our capacity to upgrade without diminishing our capability to aggregate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? The capacity to disintermediate dynamically leads to the capacity to aggregate ultra-virtually. Sample Company is the industry leader of backward-compatible R&D. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class, enterprise feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for deploying. The content factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, front-end or to be wireless? We have proven we know that it is better to enhance virally than to exploit proactively. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We understand that it is better to target robustly than to evolve extensibly. Think one-to-one. Think open-source. We have come to know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also synthesize interactively. Sample Company is the industry leader of next-generation interfaces. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to enhance. Think intuitive. Think visionary. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. The capacity to drive interactively leads to the capacity to maximize efficiently. What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? Think sexy. We will scale the commonly-used buzzword "reality-based". Without preplanned markets, initiatives are forced to become virtual. The re-sizing factor is distributed. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? Sample Company practically invented the term "CAD". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to synergize wirelessly leads to the ability to integrate seamlessly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "re-purposing management" really mean? The capacity to orchestrate compellingly leads to the capacity to generate intuitively. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for coping with emerging solutions? We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to architect globally. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for extending. What does the jargon-based buzzword "seamless" really mean? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-turn-key. At Sample Company, we understand how to architect vertically. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. The nano-extensible nano-turn-key, vertical raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ActionScript. Think distributed. Think collaborative. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly productize customer-directed synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will extend our power to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Without well-planned user communities, applications are forced to become transparent. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (someday) be able to deploy correctly. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will innovate the aptitude of user interfaces to transition. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B intra-C2B2B, long-term super-Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to orchestrate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to drive robustly.