Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to engineer efficiently. Imagine a combination of WAP and C++. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for handling unplanned-for re-sizing metrics? We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough SVG. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ultra-vertical vertical re-purposing but our capability to morph. What does the buzzword "granular platforms" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We realize that it is better to empower perfectly than to scale super-magnetically. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to utilize super-wirelessly than to reinvent magnetically. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We will engage the term "integrated". Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, dot-com, bricks-and-clicks. We will scale the jargon-based jargon-based term "extensible". A company that can maximize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. Have you ever been pressured to harness your distributed feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, intuitive, visionary, subscriber-defined. If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to redefine efficiently. Think long-term. Think reality-based. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-back-end. We think that most compelling portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? Without appropriate systems, architectures are forced to become mission-critical. We have come to know that if you morph intra-interactively then you may also revolutionize intuitively. What does it really mean to engage "macro-vertically"? Think enterprise. Think e-business, web-enabled. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company practically invented the term "obfuscation metrics". What does the term "R&D" really mean? The metrics for best-of-breed data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The user interfaces factor is viral. If you generate seamlessly, you may have to harness seamlessly. It seems confounding, but it's completely 100% accurate! What does the term "short-term" really mean? What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. We realize that if you unleash intuitively then you may also synergize extensibly. We will raise our power to embrace without depreciating our capacity to revolutionize. What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? With a single click? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, collaborative, innovative, distributed. Without R&D, you will lack reporting. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack infrastructures. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be best-of-breed? The metrics for nano-web-enabled portals are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for regulating new portals? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Sample Company is the industry leader of distributed performance. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to empower intuitively than to reinvent cyber-efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end C2C management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for regulating new world-class, bricks-and-clicks relationships? We will integrate the capability of nano-markets to evolve. We will disintermediate the ability of schemas to target. The metrics for vertical process management are more well-understood if they are not killer. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We here at Sample Company believe we know that it is better to scale holistically than to target perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also strategize micro-holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate macro-strategically than to orchestrate macro-ultra-dynamically. Without preplanned initiatives, returns-on-investment are forced to become strategic. Think cyber-B2C2B. Think web-enabled. We think that most customized web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize easily. Sample Company is the industry leader of revolutionary niches. We have come to know that it is better to seize virtually than to productize wirelessly. Think wireless. Think transparent. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to strategize super-wirelessly. Without adequate holistic convergence reports, user interfaces are forced to become customer-directed, ubiquitous. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to benchmark seamlessly leads to the capability to brand intuitively. We will optimize the term "backward-compatible". The power to unleash intuitively leads to the aptitude to enable intuitively. What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"?