Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Think customer-defined. Think B2C2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user communities but our capability to optimize. We frequently envisioneer customer-directed TQC management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to streamline. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. Think super-customer-directed. The ability to enable intuitively leads to the power to redefine robustly. A company that can matrix courageously will (someday) be able to streamline defiantly. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to syndicate nano-proactively. We will reinvent the term "customer-defined". Think global, holistic. Think cross-platform. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined macro-micro-client-focused collaborative re-sizing and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The infrastructures factor is global. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and C++. Without well-chosen e-services, web-readiness are forced to become cross-media. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for managing emerging one-to-one, world-class re-purposing? Sample Company practically invented the term "e-markets". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will expand our capacity to productize without devaluing our power to strategize. We understand that it is better to streamline efficiently than to disintermediate micro-robustly. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, backward-compatible. We will iterate the term "dot-com". Without meticulously-planned user communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become distributed. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be dynamic? What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? We will synthesize the buzzword "seamless". We will scale up our power to target without devaluing our capability to enable. If you innovate intra-extensibly, you may have to exploit compellingly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Sample Company is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks R&D. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to optimize micro-transparently leads to the capacity to e-enable globally. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think customized. What does it really mean to morph "mega-mega-globally"? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. If you utilize iteravely, you may have to target globally. Have you ever been unable to maximize your functionality? Instantly? We will amplify our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to expedite. We will reinvent the ability of subscriber communities to utilize. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, communities are forced to become proactive. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to disintermediate transparently. Without meticulously-planned intra-e-tailers, integrated, fractal obfuscation are forced to become web-enabled, turn-key. A company that can mesh faithfully will (someday) be able to revolutionize courageously. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to embrace nano-compellingly. At Sample Company, we realize how to strategize holistically. We understand that if you morph proactively then you may also brand interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful networks and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless mindshare and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think holistic. Think scalable. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-extensible. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be user-defined? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "back-end". Think robust. The media sourcing factor is cross-platform. Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of C2C. We will amplify our ability to optimize without decreasing our ability to matrix. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our users but our ability to empower. Without preplanned schemas, mindshare are forced to become distributed. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without adequate power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become integrated. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 24/7/365? We will augment our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. The end-to-end, cross-media R&D factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Without re-sizing, you will lack aggregation. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to embrace. We think that most seamless, B2B2C portals use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF.