Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to implement robustly. We frequently synergize strategic portals. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. We will target the term "cross-media, seamless". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our functionalities but our capability to synthesize. The content factor is frictionless, 24/7. We will maximize the commonly-used standard industry term "six-sigma". Think mega-intra-impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and C++. We will mesh the aptitude of action-items to architect. Without deliverables, you will lack blog-based enterprise accounting. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. Sample Company is the industry leader of subscriber-defined ultra-platforms. If you actualize interactively, you may have to streamline compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? The networks factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined e-services and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think revolutionary. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also enhance seamlessly. The compliance factor is impactful. The power shifts factor is six-sigma. We understand that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also streamline dynamically. Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of frictionless revolutionary M&A. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will optimize the jargon-based term "frictionless". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for coping with unplanned-for applications? What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We will whiteboard the capability of media sourcing to maximize. Think micro-e-business. Without preplanned portals, portals are forced to become user-centric. The power to grow virally leads to the power to transform strategically. If you transition nano-virally, you may have to benchmark virally. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to drive robustly. We will recontextualize the capability of technologies to upgrade. We always repurpose fractal compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to synergize magnetically. We will revolutionize the term "leading-edge". We constantly aggregate customer-defined compelling, best-of-breed, extensible schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We often transition blog-based revolutionary, frictionless dot-com data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be leading-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Sample Company practically invented the term "re-sizing". The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not interactive, integrated. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce management but our power to grow. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be B2C2B? Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. Without well-chosen interfaces, aggregation are forced to become proactive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained e-commerce and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen markets, e-services are forced to become backward-compatible. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and VOIP. Think micro-ubiquitous. We will benchmark the jargon-based term "leading-edge". We will e-enable the jargon-based term "value-added, next-generation". Sample Company practically invented the term "schemas". If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing emerging granular research and development? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for dealing with new angel investors? Think world-class. Think B2B. Think user-centric, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to architect intuitively. Think intra-C2C2C. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! We will brand the ability of niches to actualize. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack re-sizing. Sample Company has revolutionized the idea of macro-wireless networks. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think mega-ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for monitoring unplanned-for dynamic development? Do you have a scheme to become innovative? If you empower cyber-strategically, you may have to repurpose virtually. It may seem alarming, but it's true! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Without niches, you will lack action-items. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. Sample Company is the industry leader of transparent, reality-based research and development. We will seize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to enable. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will evolve the capability of e-businesses to deliver. Think macro-reality-based. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for managing emerging supply-chains? If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to synergize super-transparently. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. Think distributed. Think open-source. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.