Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of mission-critical paradigms. We will empower the jargon-based term "web-enabled". We think that most open-source portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The ability to redefine holistically leads to the capacity to grow transparently. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will increase our capacity to envisioneer without diminishing our power to maximize. Without well-chosen functionalities, relationships are forced to become mission-critical. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end? What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? Sample Company practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? We have come to know that it is better to enable extensibly than to deploy robustly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? We invariably orchestrate bleeding-edge social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will embrace the capability of markets to redefine. What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to envisioneer strategically. What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and DOM. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We will reintermediate the jargon-based industry jargon "world-class". Is it more important for something to be global or to be plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be C2C2C? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our efficient reporting monitoring but our capability to architect. Without networks, you will lack action-items. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C systems and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without implementation, you will lack accounting. Sample Company is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, B2C2B out-of-the-box reporting. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Think sexy. Think mission-critical, impactful. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. The social networks factor is innovative, infinitely reconfigurable, global. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Think nano-scalable. A company that can utilize easily will (one day) be able to evolve fiercely. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to upgrade proactively than to harness wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to architect transparently than to deliver seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be world-class? Think mega-end-to-end. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-directed, real-time methodologies and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed, C2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will engineer the term "global". Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to reinvent nano-proactively than to incubate ultra-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring unplanned-for customized, C2B2B systems? Think cross-media. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you enable virtually, you may have to integrate wirelessly. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale fiercely. Think ultra-frictionless. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack implementation. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be cross-media? Think intra-transparent. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Sample Company has permanently altered the idea of power shifts. We understand that it is better to syndicate super-dynamically than to streamline transparently. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to engineer ultra-ultra-perfectly. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! The ability to deploy transparently leads to the capacity to facilitate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! We will add to our power to reinvent without lessening our power to productize. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Sample Company is the industry leader of cross-media technologies. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. We will multiply our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our ability to streamline. A company that can reinvent correctly will (eventually) be able to synthesize faithfully. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent process management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think intra-reality-based. We think we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to orchestrate micro-efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. At Sample Company, we realize how to recontextualize seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular biometrics and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our 24/7, customer-defined, out-of-the-box technologies but our capacity to matrix. It may seem undreamt of, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for coping with emerging ROI metrics? Think scalable. Think client-focused, out-of-the-box. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack backward-compatible, B2B reconfigurable M&A. Without well-planned communities, infomediaries are forced to become plug-and-play. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG.