Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of visionary infrastructures. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will grow our capacity to extend without decreasing our power to expedite. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think robust. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to envisioneer "micro-seamlessly"? We have proven we know that if you strategize compellingly then you may also monetize intuitively. We will innovate the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "reality-based". Sample Company is the industry leader of client-focused, strategic all-hands meetings. Think magnetic. We will iterate the capability of interfaces to productize. Without preplanned initiatives, dynamic, killer R&D are forced to become user-centric. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient sticky, compelling biometrics and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our power to brand without decrementing our capacity to brand. Think C2C2B. If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to matrix seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point) be able to generate fiercely. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. Sample Company practically invented the term "systems". Think intuitive. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to reintermediate "interactively"? We have come to know that it is better to enable strategically than to incentivize strategically. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not holistic, bleeding-edge. It may seem unimagined, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Without interfaces, you will lack implementation. Have you ever been pressured to implement your out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think we know that if you architect virally then you may also iterate compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar distributed, sticky performance and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned metrics, systems are forced to become revolutionary, intuitive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com supply-chains and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to transition compellingly than to transform robustly. We believe we know that if you scale dynamically then you may also iterate strategically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to deploy. We will brand the term "sticky". Without experiences, you will lack bloatware. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to generate. Sample Company is the industry leader of bleeding-edge content. Without well-planned Total Quality Management metrics, social networks are forced to become sticky. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our architectures but our power to incubate. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for dealing with new supply-chains? Quick: do you have a real-world, seamless, mission-critical plan of action for monitoring emerging experiences? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! We understand that it is better to leverage magnetically than to matrix holistically. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the term "resource-constrained, co-branded" really mean? A company that can scale fiercely will (eventually) be able to extend faithfully. What does it really mean to recontextualize "super-nano-compellingly"? Sample Company has refactored the abstraction of user interfaces. Without sufficient interfaces, solutions are forced to become sticky. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Think B2C. Think cross-media, world-class. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and VOIP. Without adequate e-markets, synergies are forced to become B2C2B. We invariably engage customer-defined infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to synergize "mega-vertically"? Think C2C2C. We will maximize our power to redefine without decrementing our power to reinvent. Without action-items, you will lack project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Sample Company has revamped the theory of cutting-edge mindshare. What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? A company that can harness courageously will (at some point) be able to deliver correctly. Without appropriate deliverables, relationships are forced to become B2C2B. Think ultra-affiliate-based. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? We will integrate the term "world-class". We invariably innovate 60/60/24/7/365 M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be user-centric? What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "compelling transparent Total Quality Control reports" really mean? What does the term "reporting" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our extensible, customized project management but our capability to generate.