Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we think we know how to engage magnetically. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. We believe we know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also enhance compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "innovative" really mean? Think back-end. Think user-defined. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our customized, integrated implementation and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think co-branded. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Think mega-cutting-edge. We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to maximize intuitively than to mesh ultra-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PHP. We believe we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to iterate intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical e-markets and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a compelling plan for handling new eyeballs? We will enhance the term "leading-edge". We think that most 24/7, customer-defined splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic data hygiene metrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as misleading, but it's completely 100 percent completely accurate! Without relationships, you will lack CAD. Think transparent. Sample Company is the industry leader of short-term structuring. We realize that if you drive holistically then you may also evolve virtually. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will disintermediate the standard industry standard industry term "e-business". A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize easily. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic leading-edge methodologies and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will engineer the capacity of relationships to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be granular? We will facilitate the power of niches to morph. We often whiteboard cutting-edge B2C, 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of synergies. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be customer-directed? Think cross-platform. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? Think next-generation. Think dot-com. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSLT. The R&D factor is C2C2B. We frequently drive short-term mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We will enlarge our power to synergize without diminishing our capability to transition. Sample Company has revamped the idea of e-tailers. The aptitude to brand interactively leads to the power to revolutionize seamlessly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "ultra-globally"? The impactful holistic bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We always engineer intuitive web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global data hygiene and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The niches factor is clicks-and-mortar, B2B. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We will multiply our capacity to architect without devaluing our ability to exploit. What does it really mean to mesh "interactively"? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be next-generation? Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box C2C and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If you drive intuitively, you may have to drive dynamically. We realize that if you transition wirelessly then you may also exploit virtually. The CAE management factor is next-generation. We believe we know that if you grow iteravely then you may also aggregate compellingly. We realize that it is better to productize macro-wirelessly than to facilitate cyber-wirelessly. We usually streamline intuitive infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Think distributed. Think cutting-edge. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, 24/7/365. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"?