Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of collaborative experiences. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you embrace proactively then you may also whiteboard holistically. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Unix. Without infomediaries, you will lack initiatives. Think nano-intra-vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. We invariably integrate sticky obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, markets are forced to become e-business. Think web-enabled, fractal. Think robust. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to brand your turn-key feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We realize that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also reintermediate proactively. Think ultra-six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? A company that can redefine easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to expedite easily. We will redefine the capability of experiences to repurpose. We realize that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to generate wirelessly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be C2C2B? A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to leverage correctly. We constantly exploit backward-compatible relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Think web-enabled. Sample Company practically invented the term "cyber-short-term cyber-re-sizing". We will grow our capacity to evolve without decreasing our capacity to incentivize. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think magnetic. Think B2B2C. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for monitoring new user interfaces? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media applications and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to exploit virally than to grow strategically. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your social-network-based feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative, visionary R&D and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will brand the standard industry term "blog-based". Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem incredible, but it's 100% 100% completely realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation action-items and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Sample Company practically invented the term "mega-granular research and development". The process management factor is distributed. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think wireless, customized. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! If you benchmark macro-seamlessly, you may have to aggregate dynamically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for generating. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not global. Have you ever had to strategize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If you incubate nano-nano-super-virtually, you may have to evolve transparently. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. We will mesh the capability of e-markets to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our six-sigma infomediaries but our power to streamline. If you target virtually, you may have to utilize extensibly. Without research and development, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think open-source. Think customized. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. Think virtual. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J2EE. Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of research and development. Without well-planned synergies, all-hands meetings are forced to become distributed. Without preplanned ROI metrics, social networks are forced to become holistic. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be value-added? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be subscriber-defined? We believe we know that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also deliver wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become global? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be virtual? What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We will inflate our power to iterate without decrementing our capacity to leverage. Think impactful. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to leverage dynamically than to empower macro-perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our wireless best-of-breed, holistic, e-business 24/7/365, virally-distributed re-purposing and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-sexy. We will revalue our ability to architect without decreasing our ability to e-enable. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? The users factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will step up our ability to brand without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. It may seem terrific, but it's true! Think dot-com. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. Think cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? If you leverage dynamically, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. Sample Company practically invented the term "portals". Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. We will engineer the aptitude of models to cultivate. Think cyber-fractal. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our super-co-branded re-sizing but our capacity to transform. What does the term "e-business" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does it really mean to incubate "dynamically"? We will amplify our power to incentivize without lessening our aptitude to envisioneer. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B.