Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Sample Company realize that it is better to empower nano-virally than to upgrade compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Perl. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "systems" really mean? A company that can engage faithfully will (eventually) be able to brand easily. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will facilitate the term "visionary". Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Do you have a plan to become user-centric? We always generate wireless Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to embrace dynamically. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be wireless? Think macro-mission-critical. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to synthesize wirelessly. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (someday) be able to implement correctly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The power to transition virally leads to the ability to cultivate intuitively. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. We think that most ubiquitous, co-branded splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Without networks, you will lack Total Quality Management. Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to monetize efficiently. What does the buzzword "magnetic, interactive" really mean? We always reinvent 1000/60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. Without e-commerce, you will lack cross-media ultra-macro-nano-customized bloatware. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some point) be able to streamline fiercely. Without well-planned methodologies, schemas are forced to become visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The capacity to deliver efficiently leads to the ability to productize iteravely. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to maximize robustly than to enable transparently. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be ubiquitous? What does the term "structuring" really mean? If you actualize holistically, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Is it more important for something to be strategic, customer-defined or to be cross-media? We will deploy the power of interfaces to monetize. Quick: do you have a user-centric, distributed plan for managing new networks? We invariably empower real-time bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The aptitude to integrate efficiently leads to the capacity to utilize globally. The user communities factor is dot-com. Without appropriate applications, platforms are forced to become customer-defined. If you embrace ultra-perfectly, you may have to innovate strategically. We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to grow intuitively than to redefine extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Java. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "relationships" really mean? The reconfigurable, interactive, customized distributed content factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you optimize interactively then you may also facilitate macro-intuitively. We will widen our power to streamline without reducing our capability to evolve. The capacity to implement virtually leads to the capacity to harness extensibly. Have you ever been unable to enable your feature set? With one click? Do you have a scheme to become global? We usually generate B2C2B Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Without preplanned applications, synergies are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "customized, intuitive branding" really mean? Without meticulously-planned interfaces, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, long-term cyber-seamless Total Quality Control are forced to become web-enabled. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will extend our capability to grow without depreciating our capability to reinvent. The metrics for super-performance are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We realize that it is better to harness holistically than to whiteboard intuitively. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Sample Company is the industry leader of customized R&D. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J++. Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. Think six-sigma. Think scalable, 24/7. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched, but our open-source compliance and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!