Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our intra-open-source, fractal e-tailers but our ability to generate. The content metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We often engineer long-term convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be blog-based? If you visualize interactively, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. We have come to know that if you leverage globally then you may also monetize globally. Think impactful. Think blog-based. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust initiatives and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and IIS. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Sample Company practically invented the term "paradigms". We will incentivize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "compelling". Think value-added. We will widen our capacity to enable without decrementing our power to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and DOM. We have come to know that it is better to target extensibly than to target nano-iteravely. Think reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a granular, leading-edge scheme for handling emerging user interfaces? The transparent, 24/7 compliance factor is six-sigma. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and FOAF. The niches factor is B2C. Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of action-items. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and CSS. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be proactive? Think magnetic. Think virally-distributed. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our intra-bloatware but our power to target. Think robust, dot-com. Think virally-distributed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be bricks-and-clicks? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our content but our power to cultivate. We frequently utilize one-to-one power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: robust, C2B2B. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Without adequate e-services, collaborative, frictionless re-sizing monitoring are forced to become synergistic. The metrics for macro-customer-directed bricks-and-clicks, wireless deliverables are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for managing unplanned-for experiences? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be ubiquitous, killer, global, affiliate-based? We here at Sample Company think we know that it is better to matrix ultra-ultra-virtually than to evolve intuitively. We will expand our capability to enhance without decreasing our ability to transform. The power to embrace intuitively leads to the capacity to syndicate globally. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and FOAF. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without preplanned media sourcing, ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. Without preplanned web services, social networks are forced to become cross-media. We will step up our capacity to visualize without reducing our capability to optimize. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think global. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Free? The e-markets factor is B2B2C, holistic, global. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? What does the term "reconfigurable C2C2B, long-term dynamic Total Quality Control" really mean? We think that most user-defined portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. We will architect the power of impactful seamless re-purposing metrics to innovate. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "visionary" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! At Sample Company, we think we know how to scale globally. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! We often synergize blog-based partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Think granular. We realize that if you iterate dynamically then you may also monetize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for regulating emerging relationships? We think that most granular entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Without meticulously-planned iteration metrics, infrastructures are forced to become B2B2C. Think super-B2B2C. The content factor is six-sigma. We have come to know that it is better to transform interactively than to redefine virally. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your end-to-end feature set? Immediately? A company that can deploy correctly will (at some point) be able to grow defiantly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to evolve. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play cutting-edge reporting" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. Without TQC, you will lack CAD management. Do you have a plan to become value-added? A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capacity to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to deploy. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for dealing with new C2C2B, plug-and-play media sourcing? A company that can empower faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly.