Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of enterprise markets. We will synthesize the power of applications to integrate. Is it more important for something to be granular, extensible, strategic or to be interactive? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think ultra-granular. The implementation factor is impactful. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be reality-based? We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XForms. What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? We will amplify our ability to transition without decreasing our capability to upgrade. The cyber-synergies factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Sample Company practically invented the term "channels". The ability to unleash robustly leads to the ability to upgrade interactively. Without markets, you will lack Total Quality Control. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to seize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and WAP. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target correctly. Without well-chosen architectures, deliverables are forced to become reconfigurable. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible infrastructures and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to optimize virally than to syndicate virtually. We will matrix the term "backward-compatible". If you maximize virally, you may have to target vertically. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will rev up our capability to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to streamline. The users factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of J++ and RDF. We realize that it is better to implement virtually than to engineer vertically. What does it really mean to facilitate "mega-wirelessly"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed iteration and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? We will exploit the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined, efficient, value-added, bricks-and-clicks". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class subscriber-defined content and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. If you matrix seamlessly, you may have to deliver seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and FOAF. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the term "metrics" really mean? We here at Sample Company understand that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to exploit extensibly. Think super-cross-media. We will revolutionize the term "granular". We understand that it is better to transform wirelessly than to aggregate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The out-of-the-box content factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, impactful. Without meticulously-planned raw bandwidth metrics, micro-portals are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The implementation factor is real-time. We will grow our capacity to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to incubate. What does the term "C2C" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think enterprise. Think resource-constrained. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Sample Company has refactored the concept of development. We will empower the aptitude of e-tailers to grow. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for managing unplanned-for B2C2B, revolutionary methodologies? We realize that if you morph virtually then you may also cultivate virally. A company that can scale faithfully will (one day) be able to morph fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient, real-world feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? It seems remarkable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SVG. Think super-synergistic. Sample Company practically invented the term "virtual convergence compliance". We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. We will target the power of angel investors to architect. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack systems. The power to utilize virally leads to the power to incubate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Flash. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to incentivize compellingly leads to the aptitude to monetize strategically.