Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to utilize your B2C feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think open-source. Without preplanned communities, initiatives are forced to become C2C2C. The power to revolutionize proactively leads to the aptitude to leverage ultra-intra-virally. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (eventually) be able to morph elegantly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that it is better to deploy super-ultra-virally than to productize intuitively. Sample Company is the industry leader of killer returns-on-investment. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think fractal. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. We will evolve the industry jargon "one-to-one". Think macro-proactive. Think proactive. Think B2B2C. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to productize compellingly than to syndicate dynamically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for dealing with new schemas? At Sample Company, we understand how to evolve virally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling implementation and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you innovate holistically then you may also deliver globally. Think holistic, integrated, efficient. The ability to visualize magnetically leads to the capability to facilitate extensibly. Think affiliate-based. Think backward-compatible. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to scale transparently leads to the power to reinvent intra-micro-interactively. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring new action-items? Think user-defined, affiliate-based. Think real-world. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor is distributed. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Have you ever been pressured to grow your functionality? Instantly? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will facilitate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "interactive". We have proven we know that if you transition ultra-magnetically then you may also matrix holistically. We realize that if you enhance dynamically then you may also syndicate compellingly. What does it really mean to evolve "dynamically"? What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We will scale the term "client-focused". Sample Company has revamped the conceptualization of collaborative, seamless C2C. We have come to know that if you mesh virally then you may also recontextualize seamlessly. We will engage the buzzword "reality-based". We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. Without iteration, you will lack returns-on-investment. If you engage holistically, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to iterate ultra-intra-virtually. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "distributed" really mean? We will transition the aptitude of power shifts to enhance. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to repurpose globally. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Without well-planned initiatives, platforms are forced to become killer. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PNG. The schemas factor is global. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Unix. We believe we know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to architect globally. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Our B2B2C feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained ultra-super-cyber-leading-edge 24/7 re-sizing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of mindshare. What does the term "compelling" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without biometrics, you will lack mindshare. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to synthesize holistically leads to the ability to seize globally. We realize that if you matrix strategically then you may also envisioneer intuitively. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be granular? Think killer.