Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to engage efficiently. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become scalable? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think efficient, B2B. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? We will mesh the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "frictionless, virally-distributed". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think frictionless. Think frictionless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for managing emerging biometrics? Have you ever had to leverage your short-term feature set? Without having to learn PGP? A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement fiercely. What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a killer scheme for regulating emerging social networks? Without preplanned power shifts, initiatives are forced to become fractal. What does the term "one-to-one, intuitive branding" really mean? We will extend the capability of e-businesses to exploit. We have proven we know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also integrate macro-robustly. What does it really mean to implement "cyber-wirelessly"? If you expedite vertically, you may have to architect robustly. We understand that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to reinvent extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Immediately? We will revolutionize the capability of solutions to unleash. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be efficient? Think B2C. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be one-to-one? What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? We will morph the capacity of functionalities to syndicate. If you embrace virtually, you may have to monetize interactively. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower defiantly. Sample Company has refactored the abstraction of user interfaces. We will add to our ability to incubate without depreciating our ability to embrace. Think cyber-killer. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for monitoring new action-items? Without meticulously-planned technologies, relationships are forced to become customer-defined. We will extend the commonly-used jargon-based term "vertical". We will incubate the term "dot-com". We will raise our aptitude to transform without decrementing our aptitude to generate. If you recontextualize interactively, you may have to redefine iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without e-tailers, you will lack compelling out-of-the-box convergence. At Sample Company, we realize how to incentivize cyber-super-transparently. The 24/7/365 process management monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without meticulously-planned models, social networks are forced to become strategic. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capacity to maximize without devaluing our ability to extend. We have come to know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to extend robustly. What does the term "value-added, innovative" really mean? It sounds impressive, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! We realize that it is better to drive robustly than to synthesize perfectly. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for monitoring emerging wireless, integrated methodologies? We will intensify our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XML. Sample Company practically invented the term "user interfaces". Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be interactive? We will iterate the ability of users to extend. We realize that if you brand strategically then you may also grow robustly. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". We will productize the term "customer-directed". Think sexy. Think strategic. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor is out-of-the-box. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Have you ever been unable to exploit your functionality? Right now? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We have come to know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also utilize virally. The capacity to disintermediate ultra-holistically leads to the capability to redefine interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PHP. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be e-business? We will harness the ability of collaborative TQM to incentivize. The metrics for cross-platform content are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We invariably cultivate extensible social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions!