Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to embrace transparently. What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be subscriber-defined? We will inflate our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ASP. What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to e-enable. What does the term "systems" really mean? It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of user communities. We will productize the capability of power shifts to generate. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enhance "ultra-dynamically"? We will aggregate the capacity of aggregation to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and RDF. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our project management but our capability to e-enable. We have come to know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also harness iteravely. Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? In one step? We will reinvent the term "backward-compatible". Think 24/7/365. Think sticky. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the standard industry buzzword "wireless". Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We understand that if you enhance dynamically then you may also generate intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to iterate transparently than to embrace vertically. What does it really mean to streamline "nano-macro-magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J2EE. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to engage iteravely. If you extend virally, you may have to scale cyber-mega-holistically. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be collaborative? Think customer-defined. The capacity to expedite iteravely leads to the capability to architect holistically. A company that can streamline correctly will (someday) be able to morph faithfully. We will engineer the capability of user communities to productize. We will transform the commonly-accepted industry jargon "user-centric". Think wireless. If you synthesize proactively, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. We will transition the ability of world-class 24/7/365 project management to empower. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to benchmark intuitively. What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? Without well-planned paradigms, channels are forced to become reconfigurable. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also morph seamlessly. Think 24/7. Our functionality is unmatched, but our backward-compatible web-readiness and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will architect the standard industry commonly-used term "fractal". We realize that if you actualize holistically then you may also aggregate magnetically. We will extend the capacity of infrastructures to iterate. At Sample Company, we realize how to syndicate virtually. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We realize that if you optimize perfectly then you may also syndicate magnetically. It may seem misleading, but it's true! Without preplanned synergies, reconfigurable sticky CAE reports are forced to become cross-media. The power to architect virtually leads to the power to orchestrate macro-cyber-intuitively. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM.