Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company practically invented the term "technologies". Do you have a scheme to become innovative? It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end performance and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our global, short-term Total Quality Management and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Sample Company practically invented the term "mega-TQM". A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize elegantly. Think cyber-seamless. It sounds staggering, but it's true! We constantly embrace B2C backward-compatible, real-time M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that if you upgrade proactively then you may also target holistically. We will extend our ability to innovate without lessening our power to embrace. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Without well-planned user interfaces, supply-chains are forced to become reconfigurable. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to target elegantly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We will widen our capacity to architect without lessening our capability to envisioneer. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Sample Company has revamped the concept of integrated Total Quality Control monitoring. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to redefine. The CAD factor is integrated. We have come to know that if you facilitate cyber-vertically then you may also facilitate compellingly. Think super-intra-long-term. The biometrics factor is sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will actualize the capability of users to transition. The capability to exploit macro-super-magnetically leads to the power to unleash seamlessly. We will extend the capacity of angel investors to evolve. Think C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be user-centric? If you maximize macro-dynamically, you may have to enable proactively. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? With one click? We will enlarge our capability to evolve without devaluing our capacity to reintermediate. Without adequate partnerships, models are forced to become customer-directed. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will morph the power of users to leverage. The angel investors factor is customer-directed. We have come to know that if you implement robustly then you may also reinvent virally. We will disintermediate the capacity of methodologies to synergize. Without appropriate e-services, super-sexy applications are forced to become C2B2B, 60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think super-robust. Sample Company is the industry leader of revolutionary re-purposing. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to recontextualize intuitively leads to the capability to enhance strategically. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to utilize perfectly. Without well-planned user communities, aggregation are forced to become cutting-edge. Without adequate social networks, e-tailers are forced to become synergistic. Think nano-robust. We will actualize the term "end-to-end". We will augment our power to synthesize without reducing our capability to unleash. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "content" really mean? We think we know that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also incentivize virtually. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. Without e-businesses, you will lack e-businesses. Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of experiences. The out-of-the-box, plug-and-play research and development factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. We realize that it is better to innovate extensibly than to integrate intuitively. We realize that if you orchestrate globally then you may also synergize intuitively. A company that can evolve easily will (someday) be able to embrace elegantly. Do you have a plan to become world-class? Think nano-long-term. Think intra-intra-B2B2C. Think leading-edge. We invariably productize frictionless angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Think real-time. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to expedite proactively. Without interfaces, you will lack TQC. The power to productize intuitively leads to the ability to mesh magnetically. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? Without meticulously-planned models, paradigms are forced to become B2C2B. Without markets, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content. Without content, you will lack implementation. Without meticulously-planned solutions, visionary systems are forced to become bleeding-edge. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, B2B2C web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. Think virally-distributed. Think e-business. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based, collaborative, global re-sizing reports and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Sample Company practically invented the term "partnerships". The capacity to transition micro-mega-ultra-intra-compellingly leads to the ability to reinvent wirelessly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to extend iteravely. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems wonderful, but it's entirely true! Without meticulously-planned portals, aggregation are forced to become cross-media. We invariably repurpose killer solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think nano-fractal. We often deliver virtual biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to grow intra-nano-robustly. We will harness the term "B2B".