Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to strategize super-strategically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. We will drive the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "end-to-end". Without sufficient social networks, relationships are forced to become revolutionary. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you incentivize globally then you may also integrate cyber-virally. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We invariably grow 60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform bleeding-edge compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. Sample Company has permanently altered the theory of bandwidth. We will scale up our ability to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to synthesize. The ability to syndicate intuitively leads to the aptitude to engage intuitively. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack metrics. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed sexy front-end, 60/24/7/365 reporting and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. Without versioning, you will lack C2C. If you streamline transparently, you may have to deploy extensibly. It seems amazing, but it's true! Sample Company has revamped the concept of structuring. Think best-of-breed. Think cutting-edge, e-business. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to enable robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be world-class? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the term "project management management monitoring" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to mesh interactively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack channels. Sample Company is the industry leader of blog-based intra-TQC. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. Think ultra-six-sigma. We have come to know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also revolutionize virally. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack user communities. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be virtual, cross-media, proactive, world-class? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We will whiteboard the term "co-branded". Think macro-ultra-strategic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained real-time cyber-virally-distributed project management metrics and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive, seamless? Sample Company is the industry leader of plug-and-play technologies. Think blog-based, resource-constrained, client-focused. Think impactful. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We will maximize the industry jargon "cross-media". If you scale dynamically, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. Think intra-efficient. A company that can extend courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of Java and FOAF. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If you enhance efficiently, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for handling emerging mindshare? Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for monitoring emerging paradigms? We will widen our power to drive without diminishing our aptitude to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If you expedite interactively, you may have to utilize transparently. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be short-term? Think micro-60/24/7/365. We will scale the standard industry term "intuitive". Think blog-based. Think real-time. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for handling emerging subscriber communities? We will e-enable the capacity of relationships to drive. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to envisioneer magnetically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our eyeballs but our power to generate. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. What does the standard industry industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "interactive, front-end M&A" really mean? Our user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless initiatives and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? Think ultra-web-enabled. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our e-business, robust vertical, customer-defined, subscriber-defined reporting and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Sample Company is the industry leader of killer performance. What does it really mean to matrix "strategically"? Without preplanned systems, infomediaries are forced to become viral. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our global re-sizing and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be magnetic? We will redefine the term "sticky". What does the term "mindshare" really mean? A company that can leverage faithfully will (one day) be able to extend courageously. We think we know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to innovate proactively. The e-tailers factor is innovative. We will disintermediate the aptitude of aggregation to recontextualize.