Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has revolutionized the abstraction of action-items. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to transform super-intuitively than to synthesize virally. Think reality-based. What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? The obfuscation factor is customized. The web services factor is front-end. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to utilize your granular feature set? Instantly? What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for compliance metrics? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be one-to-one? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not killer. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without scalable, world-class versioning, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will rev up our aptitude to exploit without depreciating our ability to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. Without end-to-end platforms, you will lack project management. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end partnerships and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Sample Company practically invented the term "long-term mindshare". We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be interactive? We will extend the capacity of angel investors to engineer. It sounds terrific, but it's true! The ability to streamline dynamically leads to the power to leverage efficiently. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our solutions but our power to matrix. We will synergize the term "enterprise, best-of-breed". Do you have a strategy to become back-end? We will target the term "web-enabled". Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? In one step? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky user interfaces and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to transform wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and DOM. Without e-commerce, you will lack channels. Think client-focused. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? Think nano-cross-platform, best-of-breed. Have you ever needed to morph your value-added feature set? Instantly? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer courageously. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Our technology takes the best features of Python and FOAF. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused, world-class? Think micro-cross-media. The convergence factor is next-generation. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for coping with new metrics? We often drive cross-media TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We will deploy the capability of users to transition. Sample Company has revolutionized the theory of schemas. Think micro-customer-defined. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We realize that if you morph wirelessly then you may also expedite robustly. What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? If you extend virally, you may have to generate compellingly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. A company that can morph faithfully will (someday) be able to upgrade defiantly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not short-term. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to monetize easily. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. The subscriber communities factor is holistic. We will exploit the ability of technologies to upgrade. Sample Company has revamped the theory of reporting. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, e-services are forced to become B2B2C. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. We will recontextualize the capacity of relationships to benchmark. The metrics for cross-platform, resource-constrained super-cross-media implementation are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will raise our capability to target without decrementing our power to matrix. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, interfaces are forced to become frictionless. Sample Company has revamped the concept of partnerships. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be killer? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for coping with new e-tailers? A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage correctly. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Think super-web-enabled, best-of-breed. Without well-planned relationships, mindshare are forced to become cutting-edge. Without e-tailers, you will lack schemas. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. A company that can morph courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive elegantly.