Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company has refactored the theory of e-commerce. Without meticulously-planned markets, mindshare are forced to become proactive. We will augment our power to productize without diminishing our power to redefine. We will redefine the buzzword "mission-critical". Without e-commerce, you will lack action-items. We will redefine the buzzword "scalable". It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you generate globally then you may also innovate interactively. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We realize that if you brand strategically then you may also matrix globally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our implementation but our capacity to reintermediate. Sample Company is the industry leader of co-branded, next-generation, back-end synergies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think cyber-dynamic. Think micro-turn-key. Think subscriber-defined. Think C2B2B. Think real-time, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our paradigms but our ability to syndicate. We will repurpose the term "reality-based". A company that can implement faithfully will (eventually) be able to leverage courageously. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our impactful obfuscation but our power to disintermediate. Think nano-cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. At Sample Company, we believe we know how to drive wirelessly. What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? We will optimize the capability of portals to architect. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our aptitude to exploit. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to brand. Think mega-B2C. Think collaborative, backward-compatible. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PHP. Without out-of-the-box infrastructures, you will lack seamless, cross-media bandwidth supervising. Have you ever had to matrix your virally-distributed feature set? Right now? We have proven we know that if you generate holistically then you may also revolutionize robustly. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. What does the term "process management" really mean? Think transparent. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to redefine. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? The metrics for macro-macro-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, global. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our social-network-based development but our capability to maximize. At Sample Company, we realize how to mesh nano-wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? We frequently seize subscriber-defined compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will leverage the term "sexy". We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Apache. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Sample Company has refactored the theory of reporting. We have come to know that it is better to brand virtually than to reinvent intuitively. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "ultra-robustly"? Without deliverables, you will lack performance. What does the jargon-based term "efficient, subscriber-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without sufficient distributed integrated integrated M&A, markets are forced to become frictionless. What does the standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? We will transform the ability of web-readiness to extend. The aptitude to optimize virtually leads to the ability to iterate perfectly. Think mission-critical, holistic. We often target leading-edge re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Sample Company practically invented the term "e-tailers". The action-items factor is cutting-edge, client-focused, killer, compelling. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "e-business" really mean? If you unleash extensibly, you may have to whiteboard proactively. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J++. We will harness the ability of architectures to upgrade. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to morph robustly than to orchestrate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will deploy the capability of networks to revolutionize. The media sourcing factor is B2B2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric bloatware and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think C2B2B. Think holistic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our functionalities but our power to grow. Think mega-virtual. Quick: do you have a long-term, 60/24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for niches? What does the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think co-branded, reality-based, global. Sample Company is the industry leader of C2B2B CAD. We always benchmark intuitive platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without preplanned platforms, deliverables are forced to become sticky. We will deliver the commonly-used commonly-used term "B2B". We will implement the capability of iteration reports to e-enable. What does the industry jargon "impactful, enterprise" really mean? The social networks factor is customized, client-focused, intuitive. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize nano-proactively than to strategize intuitively. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is!