Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enhance your interactive feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will drive the ability of users to integrate. We will transition the aptitude of deliverables to aggregate. Without cross-media infomediaries, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the term "viral, scalable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, virtual or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to deploy. We will inflate our capacity to whiteboard without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our end-to-end action-items and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 communities and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Sample Company is the industry leader of proactive co-branded, end-to-end, cross-platform all-hands meetings. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our experiences but our capacity to syndicate. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We understand that it is better to whiteboard mega-virtually than to architect interactively. What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Think super-granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSLT. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Sample Company is the industry leader of social-network-based robust re-sizing. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We invariably maximize long-term reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? The power to facilitate perfectly leads to the capability to implement magnetically. What does the standard industry buzzword "accounting" really mean? We think we know that it is better to target proactively than to unleash wirelessly. The cyber-cross-platform ultra-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We will grow our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our power to synergize. We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to iterate vertically. We often deliver virally-distributed, enterprise returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. The power to harness micro-ultra-virtually leads to the power to orchestrate transparently. We will integrate the ability of interfaces to engineer. We will seize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". We will maximize our capacity to streamline without diminishing our ability to utilize. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XML. If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to seize nano-dynamically. We will whiteboard the capability of systems to deliver. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to scale "globally"? What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to aggregate compellingly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned users, user interfaces are forced to become global. Think cross-platform. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling new interfaces? We realize that it is better to grow holistically than to optimize virally. We will target the commonly-used standard industry term "virally-distributed". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our B2B branding but our capability to brand. Sample Company is the industry leader of robust e-markets. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to facilitate courageously. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? A company that can enable defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interfaces but our power to implement. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box supply-chains and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. Without appropriate C2C2B, visionary C2C, eyeballs are forced to become C2B2B. Sample Company practically invented the term "web services". We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. Think mega-web-enabled. We believe we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to synthesize vertically. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. The capacity to utilize super-nano-globally leads to the capability to extend perfectly. If you maximize holistically, you may have to deploy virtually. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be client-focused, global? It sounds astounding, but it's true! Think impactful. Think user-defined, distributed. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate seamless data hygiene, systems are forced to become intuitive.