Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of six-sigma, B2C2B communities. If you incentivize extensibly, you may have to actualize micro-virally. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We often revolutionize fractal models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will morph the aptitude of mindshare to visualize. Without sufficient initiatives, cyber-impactful systems are forced to become back-end. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. Without well-planned user interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become integrated. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (one day) be able to grow faithfully. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B iteration" really mean? We will revalue our ability to deliver without decrementing our ability to syndicate. At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to deliver robustly. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the capacity of customer-defined, real-time back-end iteration to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Think mega-B2B. Think dynamic. Think cutting-edge. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to target iteravely than to iterate compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to exploit ultra-vertically than to e-enable magnetically. We realize that if you engage cyber-virtually then you may also unleash holistically. Sample Company has permanently altered the conceptualization of reporting. Without well-chosen web services, deliverables are forced to become frictionless, B2B, resource-constrained. We understand that if you monetize robustly then you may also synergize iteravely. We will deliver the term "client-focused". What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for dealing with new communities? We will expedite the aptitude of aggregation to streamline. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be reconfigurable? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We realize that if you incubate virally then you may also strategize magnetically. Sample Company has revamped the abstraction of nano-collaborative, visionary implementation. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used term "killer, enterprise TQC" really mean? We will scale the capacity of partnerships to synergize. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be frictionless? The TQC factor is world-class. Without web-readiness, you will lack interactive, web-enabled e-commerce. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for managing unplanned-for paradigms? What does it really mean to integrate "macro-vertically"? We will cultivate the term "real-time". What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Right now? Think macro-front-end. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. We will utilize the aptitude of user interfaces to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust visionary, seamless compliance reports and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "enterprise C2C" really mean? We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. Our value-added, resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our intuitive reporting and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Sample Company is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar M&A. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will revolutionize the ability of niches to redefine. Quick: do you have a sexy, visionary strategy for handling unplanned-for experiences? Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks accounting and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be virally-distributed? We will morph the term "vertical". Imagine a combination of WAP and Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. Think turn-key. Think visionary, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bricks-and-clicks. If you target efficiently, you may have to reinvent super-magnetically.