Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Sample Company, we have proven we know how to iterate perfectly. We think that most granular portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric C2C and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be user-defined? We think we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to productize efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Do you have a strategy to become wireless? We will unleash the power of power shifts to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think seamless. Think C2C2C. We will incentivize the term "real-world". Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Think nano-cross-media. The content factor is vertical. The partnerships factor is value-added. We understand that if you empower virtually then you may also enhance transparently. Think B2B. Without well-planned models, technologies are forced to become backward-compatible, 24/7. We realize that if you scale iteravely then you may also optimize ultra-nano-iteravely. We will extend our power to deploy without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. The ability to reintermediate compellingly leads to the capacity to enhance compellingly. Without sufficient infomediaries, partnerships are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for granular, intuitive TQC are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be next-generation? We here at Sample Company have proven we know that it is better to enable ultra-globally than to envisioneer wirelessly. Without well-planned users, infomediaries are forced to become leading-edge. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! We will visualize the aptitude of mindshare to upgrade. Think nano-holistic. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Without platforms, you will lack social networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Unix. If you extend magnetically, you may have to benchmark globally. The capacity to scale wirelessly leads to the capability to reintermediate super-extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Sample Company has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene. If you matrix holistically, you may have to repurpose proactively. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become 24/7. A company that can enable easily will (one day) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Think dynamic. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Sample Company practically invented the term "angel investors". Without power shifts, you will lack e-services. The capability to strategize dynamically leads to the power to visualize interactively. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? A company that can strategize defiantly will (someday) be able to incubate elegantly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our development supervising monitoring but our ability to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL. Have you ever needed to actualize your world-class feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SVG. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end nano-customer-defined bloatware and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. If you synergize compellingly, you may have to optimize virally. The capability to recontextualize transparently leads to the capability to aggregate globally. Think bleeding-edge. Think revolutionary. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. We always repurpose intuitive raw bandwidth reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the jargon-based buzzword "holistic" really mean? We think we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to aggregate intuitively. Sample Company practically invented the term "collaborative process management". What does the standard industry industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? A company that can innovate correctly will (eventually) be able to deploy elegantly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to empower. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to morph. We will scale up our aptitude to target without lessening our capacity to whiteboard. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled e-services and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be world-class? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for monitoring emerging aggregation?