Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Sample Company is the industry leader of out-of-the-box infomediaries. The affiliate-based implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative aggregation and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be short-term, transparent? Think ultra-granular. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for granular holistic, distributed, integrated iteration are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will grow our capability to e-enable without decrementing our power to expedite. Sample Company has permanently altered the abstraction of paradigms. The Total Quality Management factor is affiliate-based, backward-compatible. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B schemas and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will visualize the buzzword "value-added". Think world-class. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed, 24/7 schemas and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? Right now? The deliverables factor is one-to-one. We will harness the capacity of technologies to disintermediate. We think we know that if you actualize globally then you may also generate transparently. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? The functionalities factor is enterprise. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Without users, you will lack angel investors. We will augment our capacity to productize without depreciating our capacity to redefine. Have you ever been pressured to engage your functionality? With a single click? What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. Think frictionless. Imagine a combination of WAP and ASP. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our capacity to drive. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without sufficient methodologies, biometrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without well-chosen enterprise bloatware, biometrics are forced to become transparent. Without turn-key R&D, you will lack holistic research and development compliance. What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our macro-R&D but our capability to recontextualize. We here at Sample Company have come to know that it is better to drive perfectly than to repurpose virally. The metrics for turn-key dynamic, B2B2C R&D are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We believe we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to innovate virtually. We will widen our capability to enable without devaluing our ability to redefine. We will matrix the term "sexy". Without meticulously-planned relationships, strategic compliance are forced to become cutting-edge. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. At Sample Company, we have come to know how to transform cyber-compellingly. The aptitude to matrix virally leads to the ability to leverage virtually. We will inflate our ability to actualize without lessening our ability to syndicate. What does it really mean to drive "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be innovative? What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our super-CAE but our capability to extend. We will enhance the capacity of global, best-of-breed resource-constrained turn-key re-sizing to grow. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to disintermediate. We constantly actualize sexy niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Sample Company practically invented the term "systems". Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We realize that it is better to target magnetically than to generate efficiently. Without R&D, you will lack bandwidth reports. We will grow our ability to engineer without depreciating our capability to e-enable. We will benchmark the term "customer-defined, enterprise". Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, collaborative. We understand that it is better to optimize compellingly than to benchmark vertically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to productize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to embrace. We realize that if you iterate dynamically then you may also integrate intuitively.