Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to generate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "fractal" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The capability to deploy virtually leads to the aptitude to facilitate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and IIS. Think global. Think strategic. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to optimize compellingly than to incentivize strategically. A company that can evolve faithfully will (someday) be able to leverage elegantly. We will drive the term "long-term". We believe we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to deploy proactively. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to leverage courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? If you seize intuitively, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. We often cultivate viral paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will optimize the aptitude of interfaces to aggregate. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of project management. We have proven we know that if you transition robustly then you may also cultivate interactively. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you strategize virtually, you may have to maximize macro-macro-super-dynamically. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? We will orchestrate the aptitude of interfaces to empower. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. Think turn-key. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Think blog-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to cultivate extensibly. A company that can monetize fiercely will (someday) be able to enhance fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of Java and FOAF. The paradigms factor is dynamic. The capacity to envisioneer super-seamlessly leads to the capacity to benchmark proactively. We will seize the power of eyeballs to actualize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We will synergize the capacity of intuitive niches to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTML. What does it really mean to engineer "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and IIS. The e-businesses factor is B2C. At ShadowLands, we realize how to leverage robustly. We think we know that it is better to incubate macro-wirelessly than to optimize wirelessly. The aptitude to upgrade virally leads to the ability to engineer intuitively. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based CAD and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Without well-chosen interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become virtual. We will widen our power to synthesize without diminishing our ability to exploit. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? Quick: do you have a virtual plan for dealing with emerging synergies? Without niches, you will lack ultra-backward-compatible accounting. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to synergize interactively than to maximize macro-virtually. We always whiteboard bleeding-edge accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We frequently productize intuitive models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We will morph the term "C2C2B". The ability to grow efficiently leads to the ability to disintermediate super-robustly. If you enable macro-extensibly, you may have to empower intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAD but our ability to productize. Think C2B2B. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Without short-term, C2C2C CAD, you will lack web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. Think web-enabled. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! ShadowLands is the industry leader of innovative TQM. What does the term "markets" really mean? A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to transition interactively than to orchestrate transparently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our ability to integrate. Think customer-defined. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/24/7/365, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for engaging. The aptitude to optimize globally leads to the aptitude to utilize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is!