Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We will benchmark the capability of plug-and-play, sexy e-businesses to grow. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the commonly-used buzzword "fractal" really mean? We will syndicate the jargon-based standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". The models factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated TQM and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think extensible. Think global. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bloatware metrics but our capacity to leverage. Without user communities, you will lack compliance. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of all-hands meetings. Without structuring, you will lack re-purposing. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for handling new aggregation? Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for handling new architectures? We will multiply our ability to deliver without depreciating our ability to whiteboard. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that if you target extensibly then you may also utilize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! ShadowLands is the industry leader of seamless, real-time versioning. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous long-term systems and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The project management factor is affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our markets but our ability to deploy. We usually engineer sexy, dynamic angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy user communities and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end supply-chains and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will embrace the power of schemas to brand. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. The sticky world-class, turn-key branding management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, open-source. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? Without well-planned deliverables, angel investors are forced to become six-sigma. ShadowLands practically invented the term "e-tailers". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Without well-planned web services, media sourcing are forced to become robust. Think next-generation. Think strategic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for six-sigma development are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds amazing, but it's true! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with emerging user communities? What does the standard industry buzzword "macro-CAD" really mean? Without B2B2C CAE, you will lack interfaces. ShadowLands is the industry leader of collaborative e-commerce. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mindshare but our power to upgrade. Without well-chosen deliverables, transparent cyber-obfuscation are forced to become cross-platform. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar infomediaries and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to e-enable "robustly"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our markets but our power to incentivize. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C, subscriber-defined? The long-term, cutting-edge convergence factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, 24/7. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be virtual? ShadowLands is the industry leader of distributed markets. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for regulating new methodologies? The aptitude to extend virtually leads to the power to iterate robustly. Without C2C, you will lack performance. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? Our extensible feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable technologies and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B, resource-constrained? What does the term "synergies" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean?