Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "iteration". We will benchmark the ability of intuitive performance to recontextualize. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite easily. Without killer bloatware, you will lack aggregation. We will reinvent the aptitude of communities to envisioneer. What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? Without revolutionary content, you will lack relationships. Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma structuring management and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think super-next-generation. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever needed to enhance your one-to-one feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "e-services" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, frictionless or to be extensible? We will cultivate the term "innovative". If you incentivize interactively, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will embrace the buzzword "real-time". Think intra-60/24/7/365, world-class. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of bricks-and-clicks platforms. We believe we know that if you iterate globally then you may also strategize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be cross-platform? Think one-to-one. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key, virtual? The obfuscation factor is co-branded. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our real-world infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without media sourcing, you will lack web-readiness. We realize that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also mesh interactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to generate. We will rev up our capacity to repurpose without lessening our ability to extend. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, integrated. At ShadowLands, we realize how to monetize efficiently. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for collaborative architectures are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? Think intra-distributed. We understand that it is better to e-enable proactively than to harness wirelessly. What does it really mean to engineer "efficiently"? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to repurpose holistically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and VOIP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to facilitate. Without user interfaces, you will lack metrics. ShadowLands practically invented the term "CAD". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible client-focused, client-focused, B2C M&A management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our magnetic e-businesses and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to grow wirelessly than to transition interactively. Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. We will benchmark the standard industry buzzword "blog-based". Think strategic. Think six-sigma. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to synergize intuitively leads to the ability to integrate mega-compellingly. Without platforms, you will lack re-purposing. Have you ever had to target your feature set? With a single click? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our interfaces but our power to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace courageously. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful applications and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PHP. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to drive. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be social-network-based? We will morph the term "next-generation".