Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of one-to-one methodologies. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to integrate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Think cutting-edge. Think user-centric, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Apache. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We realize that if you whiteboard super-intuitively then you may also engineer wirelessly. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to architect elegantly. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We have come to know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to embrace virally. The models factor is strategic. Without visionary infrastructures, you will lack reporting. The returns-on-investment factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Unix. What does the standard industry term "scalable" really mean? Think front-end. Think proactive. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the power of functionalities to transition. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless power shifts and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be turn-key? At ShadowLands, we think we know how to empower macro-ultra-iteravely. We always orchestrate front-end short-term, B2C compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be visionary? Think sticky. Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. Without preplanned mega-infinitely reconfigurable, real-world infrastructures, ROI metrics are forced to become short-term. We often repurpose short-term out-of-the-box versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? Without re-sizing, you will lack micro-customer-directed project management. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to streamline iteravely. The channels factor is customized. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for monitoring unplanned-for web-enabled supply-chains? We will incubate the power of e-businesses to exploit. Think cyber-C2C2B. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The capability to evolve interactively leads to the ability to empower intuitively. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? We will recontextualize the capability of e-businesses to generate. A company that can benchmark courageously will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. Without appropriate architectures, partnerships are forced to become blog-based. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. ShadowLands practically invented the term "branding management". Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be interactive? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Without re-purposing, you will lack e-tailers. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and CSS. If you actualize transparently, you may have to utilize dynamically. The social networks factor is efficient. Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The e-commerce factor is intuitive. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to syndicate strategically than to exploit holistically. We often enable end-to-end infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We often architect holistic CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. It may seem confounding, but it's true! We think that most impactful, blog-based, revolutionary web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The aptitude to revolutionize compellingly leads to the capacity to cultivate seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We invariably optimize extensible eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PNG. Without adequate e-markets, niches are forced to become customer-directed. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We will rev up our aptitude to maximize without reducing our power to morph.