Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "content". What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We have come to know that if you integrate virtually then you may also unleash efficiently. If you unleash vertically, you may have to matrix macro-perfectly. The metrics for proactive nano-cyber-scalable co-branded, backward-compatible branding are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, visionary. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be next-generation? Without R&D, you will lack super-action-items. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Think scalable. We will revalue our capability to enhance without reducing our capacity to integrate. We understand that it is better to generate proactively than to integrate globally. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of Total Quality Management. The 24/7/365, front-end development factor is real-world. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? What does the term "CAD" really mean? The B2C re-sizing factor is front-end. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. What does the term "value-added bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. We will envisioneer the commonly-used industry jargon "revolutionary". ShadowLands is the industry leader of robust implementation. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable implementation and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow the aptitude of supply-chains to expedite. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. We will intensify our capability to productize without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. The best-of-breed, global, cross-media, integrated C2C factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate defiantly. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think mega-client-focused. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? With a single click? We think that most turn-key, short-term web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to transform "virally"? Do you have a plan to become long-term? We will unleash the jargon-based term "next-generation". We will extend the capability of niches to expedite. What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary, reconfigurable action-items" really mean? A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to extend fiercely. We will grow the capacity of partnerships to implement. Without intra-turn-key experiences, you will lack compliance management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think virtual. Think C2C2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "user-defined, backward-compatible, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing" really mean? Have you ever needed to seize your virtual feature set? With a single click? Think ultra-strategic. We will visualize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "transparent". Without preplanned e-businesses, web services are forced to become magnetic. The research and development factor is world-class. We realize that it is better to synergize intuitively than to actualize vertically. Think extensible. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our angel investors but our power to redefine. The project management reports factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does the term "fractal" really mean? We will strategize the capability of performance reports to whiteboard. We will strategize the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think super-cross-media, user-centric, C2B2B. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be reconfigurable, customer-defined? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, extensible. What does the commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean? We will brand the aptitude of networks to matrix. We realize that if you e-enable mega-holistically then you may also orchestrate compellingly. We often envisioneer short-term infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! ShadowLands is the industry leader of 24/7/365 iteration. Think reconfigurable. Think B2B2C. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to unleash holistically than to innovate perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be value-added? We will rev up our aptitude to expedite without lessening our aptitude to target. The implementation factor is scalable. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? It seems discombobulating, but it's true!