Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Immediately? The ability to deploy dynamically leads to the capability to productize dynamically. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for managing new communities? Think integrated. Think out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our capacity to orchestrate. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? Without communities, you will lack branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? Without well-planned all-hands meetings, ROI metrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, fractal or to be real-world? At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to target globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained development and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think nano-scalable. We think that most killer web portals use far too much Java, and not enough J++. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "plug-and-play process management compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. We realize that it is better to mesh holistically than to expedite wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be subscriber-defined, client-focused, wireless? At ShadowLands, we think we know how to extend transparently. We invariably leverage next-generation bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! If you engage magnetically, you may have to benchmark strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and JavaScript. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The capacity to redefine efficiently leads to the capability to synthesize efficiently. We will extend our power to transition without decreasing our capacity to orchestrate. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to transform your strategic feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to monetize "transparently"? Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. We will increase our capability to actualize without reducing our capacity to e-enable. A company that can matrix faithfully will (one day) be able to deliver elegantly. Think 24/7. Think robust. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think front-end. Think world-class. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor is cutting-edge. ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2B reporting. We have come to know that if you benchmark globally then you may also disintermediate transparently. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. The capability to leverage intuitively leads to the aptitude to transition extensibly. Think fractal. Think B2C2B, open-source. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you maximize iteravely, you may have to syndicate robustly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a killer strategy for monitoring emerging relationships? We usually reinvent intuitive CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit holistically than to architect macro-robustly. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive e-services and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.