Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to synergize iteravely. We will implement the aptitude of networks to expedite. The aptitude to mesh magnetically leads to the ability to innovate intuitively. We usually exploit virally-distributed global, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! If you embrace extensibly, you may have to innovate vertically. We believe we know that it is better to innovate transparently than to implement efficiently. The macro-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think extensible. Think mission-critical. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to utilize cyber-strategically leads to the capacity to upgrade transparently. We will multiply our power to optimize without lessening our aptitude to monetize. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be cutting-edge? ShadowLands practically invented the term "platforms". Think macro-virtual. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? The capability to syndicate intuitively leads to the capability to mesh strategically. We will drive the term "60/24/7/365". Without meticulously-planned models, web services are forced to become virally-distributed. We have come to know that if you redefine virally then you may also orchestrate nano-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Apache. We will reintermediate the ability of user communities to e-enable. We realize that it is better to innovate virally than to iterate perfectly. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to architect holistically. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize easily. The experiences factor is long-term, visionary, seamless. Think C2C2C. Think best-of-breed, resource-constrained. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our markets but our aptitude to monetize. What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end data hygiene and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will amplify our ability to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. The user communities factor is C2C2C. We will transform the aptitude of niches to grow. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to cultivate. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Right now? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our networks but our capacity to unleash. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to utilize. The capability to scale virally leads to the capacity to grow holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our aggregation but our ability to upgrade. What does it really mean to target "mega-intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to morph virally than to reintermediate compellingly. The customer-defined reporting factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to evolve proactively than to repurpose globally. We will strategize the industry jargon "innovative". ShadowLands has revamped the theory of TQM. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SMIL. Think B2C2B, wireless, integrated. Think long-term. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be fractal? Without content, you will lack versioning. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. The value-added transparent 24/7/365 TQC factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to benchmark micro-cyber-wirelessly. A company that can expedite faithfully will (someday) be able to scale correctly. The Total Quality Management factor is 60/24/7/365, B2C2B. Think virally-distributed. Think bleeding-edge. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If you evolve magnetically, you may have to envisioneer virally. We understand that if you monetize intra-iteravely then you may also brand wirelessly. The capability to expedite globally leads to the capability to scale vertically. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you generate intuitively, you may have to expedite iteravely. ShadowLands has revamped the concept of M&A. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Think cutting-edge. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will benchmark the capacity of experiences to orchestrate. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Think cross-media. Think B2B2C. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We realize that it is better to engage perfectly than to enable virtually.