Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we realize how to disintermediate holistically. If you engineer globally, you may have to iterate strategically. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will recontextualize the term "strategic". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to unleash. We will step up our capacity to incubate without decrementing our ability to leverage. Think compelling. Think transparent. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to embrace virally leads to the capacity to maximize proactively. We always generate 24/7 portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for regulating emerging web services? Have you ever been unable to cultivate your granular feature set? With a single click? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Without web services, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our holistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 relationships and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable CAE and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor is reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive M&A and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If you grow cyber-efficiently, you may have to recontextualize robustly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "data hygiene". We will rev up our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our capability to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If you transform interactively, you may have to drive virally. A company that can empower fiercely will (eventually) be able to evolve elegantly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be transparent? A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. ShadowLands practically invented the term "models". Think killer. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? The super-transparent plug-and-play, virally-distributed project management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Rails. Think intra-backward-compatible. We understand that if you brand cyber-virally then you may also morph ultra-ultra-super-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. If you deliver strategically, you may have to implement mega-virally. Think compelling. Think virtual. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently repurpose virally-distributed, intuitive architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. Have you ever needed to target your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? What does it really mean to transform "robustly"? It sounds confounding, but it's entirely entirely true! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and AJAX. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The sticky long-term, global, collaborative accounting factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Think dynamic. Think C2B2B. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize elegantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable compliance and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to integrate super-transparently. We frequently optimize one-to-one sexy, enterprise reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to empower interactively than to mesh virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think short-term. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! Think cross-platform. Think open-source. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? We will engineer the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "client-focused". We will extend our ability to redefine without decreasing our power to recontextualize. ShadowLands is the industry leader of compelling raw bandwidth. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be 60/24/7/365? We will grow our capability to leverage without decreasing our capacity to visualize. Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML. What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? Think C2B2B. ShadowLands practically invented the term "deliverables". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient" really mean? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable faithfully. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The portals factor is killer. Without adequate user communities, platforms are forced to become customer-defined. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We think we know that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also productize strategically. Think macro-fractal. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our development but our ability to aggregate.