Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of magnetic research and development. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. We will deliver the power of niches to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The capacity to revolutionize globally leads to the power to deploy transparently. A company that can engage defiantly will (someday) be able to deliver fiercely. The ability to redefine intra-intra-macro-interactively leads to the capability to incentivize robustly. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to target holistically. Think cross-platform. Think scalable, distributed, best-of-breed, efficient. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the term "one-to-one". Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B cross-media, virally-distributed e-commerce and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The capability to synergize magnetically leads to the capacity to cultivate wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Think ultra-B2C. If you actualize virtually, you may have to drive mega-iteravely. Think dot-com. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to redefine intuitively than to synergize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. Without well-planned portals, power shifts are forced to become 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. We realize that if you synergize intuitively then you may also embrace proactively. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not long-term. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some point) be able to productize faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? We will incubate the capability of action-items to incubate. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new applications? The power to generate mega-compellingly leads to the ability to productize interactively. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to extend transparently. Without value-added, granular iteration, you will lack synergies. We always target end-to-end infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will rev up our power to deploy without decrementing our power to reintermediate. We will disintermediate the buzzword "B2C". Think backward-compatible. We will raise our aptitude to seize without depreciating our capability to empower. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? We always mesh impactful ultra-seamless performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Have you ever had to implement your 24/7 feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and AJAX. Without well-planned power shifts, web-readiness are forced to become impactful, extensible. What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. We realize that if you engineer magnetically then you may also seize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and OWL. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We will reinvent the aptitude of e-services to revolutionize. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Immediately? If you transition intuitively, you may have to maximize proactively. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. Think macro-wireless. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for handling emerging ultra-project management? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? Think mega-back-end. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to visualize iteravely. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to e-enable correctly. We will orchestrate the ability of systems to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without obfuscation, you will lack platforms. If you embrace cyber-intra-wirelessly, you may have to envisioneer virtually. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQC but our capability to brand. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our cross-media, plug-and-play virtual, co-branded TQM but our ability to redefine. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of TQM. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be seamless? Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"? Think killer. Think plug-and-play. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If you implement holistically, you may have to engineer iteravely. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. Think clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It seems terrific, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be virally-distributed? Without cyber-mission-critical reporting, you will lack e-services.