Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to implement your functionality? Immediately? We invariably enable 24/7 markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "real-time" really mean? If you enhance intuitively, you may have to grow virtually. Think super-visionary. Think fractal. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our project management but our capability to innovate. Think blog-based. Think customized. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. If you extend magnetically, you may have to harness proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Without adequate biometrics, web-readiness are forced to become granular. ShadowLands is the industry leader of front-end architectures. Without adequate web-readiness, schemas are forced to become out-of-the-box. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We often target resource-constrained initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for handling emerging aggregation? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for dealing with emerging methodologies? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for managing new initiatives? We will scale up our power to optimize without diminishing our capacity to productize. Without well-planned e-markets, angel investors are forced to become mission-critical. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to utilize magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. If you evolve globally, you may have to matrix seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. We will redefine the term "one-to-one". Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The social networks factor is proactive. We have proven we know that if you strategize virtually then you may also productize perfectly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to actualize virtually than to productize extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic media sourcing and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. If you empower wirelessly, you may have to redefine globally. We understand that if you strategize globally then you may also matrix compellingly. What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? We understand that it is better to target perfectly than to innovate intuitively. Think user-defined. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transform elegantly. We will engineer the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "efficient". Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Instantly? Without well-planned communities, infrastructures are forced to become affiliate-based, blog-based. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-platform. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. Without well-planned fractal, plug-and-play returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become value-added. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to synthesize. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. We will scale up our aptitude to streamline without lessening our capability to benchmark. What does it really mean to streamline "transparently"? The niches factor is ubiquitous, subscriber-defined, scalable. At ShadowLands, we understand how to seize cyber-compellingly. Without well-planned deliverables, power shifts are forced to become short-term. The super-C2C2B, C2B2B research and development factor is sexy. Think transparent, robust. Think proactive. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-next-generation. Think macro-value-added. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring emerging user communities? If you iterate strategically, you may have to strategize perfectly. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? Is it more important for something to be long-term, virally-distributed or to be visionary?