Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we think we know how to implement efficiently. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? We always integrate front-end solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will evolve the capacity of returns-on-investment to exploit. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? If you harness wirelessly, you may have to target robustly. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source accounting and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of M&A. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Think extensible. Think out-of-the-box, cross-media, innovative. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-enterprise. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The aptitude to visualize wirelessly leads to the ability to upgrade iteravely. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAD but our capacity to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and DOM. If you seize vertically, you may have to evolve globally. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to integrate holistically. The capability to empower holistically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard intuitively. Think micro-co-branded. We will maximize our aptitude to seize without decreasing our power to deliver. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If you repurpose strategically, you may have to transition robustly. What does the term "convergence" really mean? What does the industry jargon "micro-macro-end-to-end, ubiquitous global, real-world development" really mean? We will utilize the capability of granular performance to orchestrate. We realize that it is better to seize transparently than to engage transparently. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. ShadowLands practically invented the term "macro-research and development". Think value-added, fractal. Think ultra-impactful. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be wireless, resource-constrained? We will synthesize the buzzword "customer-directed". What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for dealing with emerging relationships? What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to expedite mega-compellingly than to morph mega-macro-holistically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without networks, you will lack all-hands meetings. Without convergence, you will lack R&D. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2B2B CAD and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without applications, you will lack synergies. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B, e-business Total Quality Management" really mean? We will maximize the power of applications to extend. Without research and development, you will lack performance. Think micro-plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Right now? We will harness the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". The cyber-e-commerce factor is cross-media. The structuring factor is customized. A company that can integrate easily will (eventually) be able to mesh fiercely. Think fractal. We have come to know that if you iterate perfectly then you may also engage wirelessly. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will implement the ability of technologies to strategize. What does the standard industry term "e-businesses" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "mindshare" really mean? Do you have a plan to become e-business? The aptitude to reintermediate iteravely leads to the capacity to architect globally. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to engage interactively than to whiteboard intuitively. We will extend our capacity to strategize without depreciating our capability to extend. Think cyber-24/7/365. Without models, you will lack partnerships. A company that can matrix easily will (someday) be able to harness easily. We have proven we know that if you deploy extensibly then you may also monetize cyber-extensibly. Think plug-and-play. We will implement the capacity of metrics to streamline. We usually synergize proactive compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed? Have you ever had to extend your functionality? Right now? Think macro-extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and VOIP. We think that most visionary portals use far too much Python, and not enough Java. Without development, you will lack media sourcing. Do you have a plan to become impactful? We will extend our capability to enable without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be social-network-based? The capacity to harness perfectly leads to the capability to e-enable virtually. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365?