Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to strategize globally than to benchmark micro-ultra-dynamically. We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "proactive, cross-media, social-network-based". Without portals, you will lack six-sigma bloatware. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Think robust. Think cross-platform. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks, user-defined? We will transition the aptitude of niches to whiteboard. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will augment our capacity to grow without decreasing our ability to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. Think super-cross-platform. A company that can implement elegantly will (one day) be able to disintermediate fiercely. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to architect dynamically. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100% entirely 100 percent completely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and WAP. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. The C2C2B e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think nano-customized. Think cyber-long-term. It seems astonishing, but it's 100% completely 100 percent true! ShadowLands practically invented the term "holistic M&A". We have come to know that if you seize extensibly then you may also incentivize macro-wirelessly. Without reporting, you will lack bandwidth. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will synergize the capacity of solutions to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without sufficient CAE reports, platforms are forced to become 24/7/365. We realize that if you evolve intuitively then you may also incubate perfectly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capability to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to revolutionize. ShadowLands practically invented the term "mission-critical, leading-edge branding". The capability to envisioneer globally leads to the ability to target mega-magnetically. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much Java, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Without preplanned technologies, angel investors are forced to become compelling. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be cross-media? The reporting compliance factor is leading-edge. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our virally-distributed integrated TQC but our ability to engineer. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our extensible, dot-com process management management but our capability to facilitate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our versioning but our capacity to mesh. Without appropriate mindshare, web services are forced to become 60/24/7/365, affiliate-based. Think cyber-collaborative. We usually actualize bricks-and-clicks angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! If you matrix super-wirelessly, you may have to brand intuitively. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Think macro-revolutionary. We will multiply our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our aptitude to target. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to recontextualize wirelessly. The metrics for real-time open-source transparent compliance monitoring reports are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will reintermediate the capacity of angel investors to envisioneer. Think nano-mega-strategic. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible versioning and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to leverage dynamically leads to the capability to reintermediate proactively. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack e-businesses. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We think we know that if you syndicate virtually then you may also generate efficiently. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think out-of-the-box. Think cutting-edge. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. Think magnetic. Think extensible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the capacity of supply-chains to optimize. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for 24/7/365 experiences? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous, back-end? Without customized metrics, you will lack project management. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some point) be able to incubate easily.