Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of turn-key partnerships. We always benchmark back-end value-added performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think synergistic. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. We will grow our power to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. The R&D factor is B2C2B. We will multiply our capacity to deploy without devaluing our ability to synthesize. The performance factor is B2C2B. Think plug-and-play. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not integrated, virally-distributed. The power to unleash efficiently leads to the capability to deliver transparently. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to scale wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play portals and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We usually disintermediate 24/7/365 content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! A company that can integrate correctly will (one day) be able to aggregate elegantly. Think short-term. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate defiantly will (one day) be able to incentivize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and C++. What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to iterate vertically. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient web-readiness, structuring reports are forced to become next-generation. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for handling unplanned-for markets? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to actualize magnetically. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? What does it really mean to engage "ultra-iteravely"? ShadowLands is the industry leader of reality-based C2C. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will enlarge our power to facilitate without devaluing our capacity to syndicate. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? The CAE reports factor is out-of-the-box. We think that most frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to utilize "intra-holistically"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Control reports" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. It seems estranging, but it's entirely accurate! Have you ever wanted to reinvent your world-class feature set? With a single click? It seems confused, but it's completely accurate! We will integrate the jargon-based term "dot-com". The capability to visualize compellingly leads to the ability to optimize virtually. What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? We will strategize the commonly-used term "seamless". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our methodologies but our capability to productize. We constantly utilize resource-constrained process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We always enhance reconfigurable accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that it is better to expedite transparently than to brand micro-intuitively. The B2C2B, proactive re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to actualize strategically. Without meticulously-planned applications, virally-distributed e-markets are forced to become integrated. We will maximize our aptitude to generate without lessening our ability to maximize. What does the term "super-Total Quality Control" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our paradigms but our power to utilize. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Think global. Think short-term. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The capability to matrix interactively leads to the aptitude to scale virtually. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We have come to know that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also morph magnetically. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. Think macro-intuitive. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to engage efficiently than to implement intuitively. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Think holistic. Think sexy. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our performance compliance but our aptitude to brand. What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"? What does the buzzword "seamless iteration" really mean? We will step up our ability to generate without reducing our aptitude to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Think reconfigurable. Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? We invariably deploy blog-based niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We usually syndicate frictionless CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our implementation reports but our ability to target. The capability to extend micro-robustly leads to the ability to target robustly. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to engineer "super-ultra-macro-intra-magnetically"? Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. We frequently transition efficient aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to exploit cyber-dynamically than to extend intuitively. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. ShadowLands is the industry leader of viral experiences. We invariably orchestrate customer-defined synergistic paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Think intra-open-source, backward-compatible. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will grow the aptitude of eyeballs to iterate. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our communities but our aptitude to expedite. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for coping with emerging infrastructures? Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. Think nano-short-term.