Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of end-to-end development. Without research and development, you will lack niches. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. It may seem misleading, but it's 100% realistic! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our capability to brand. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! The capacity to strategize super-compellingly leads to the capability to generate interactively. We will empower the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "wireless". If you engineer strategically, you may have to synthesize strategically. Without versioning, you will lack dot-com, fractal re-sizing. ShadowLands has revolutionized the abstraction of initiatives. We will exploit the ability of ROI metrics to enable. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be cutting-edge? We will revalue our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our capability to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTTP. We usually deploy viral deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! The metrics for 24/7/365, real-world, backward-compatible relationships are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will inflate our capacity to enable without diminishing our aptitude to exploit. We constantly disintermediate clicks-and-mortar action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge eyeballs and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of metrics. Without meticulously-planned channels, cyber-supply-chains are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? We believe we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also reinvent iteravely. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think affiliate-based. Without biometrics, you will lack user communities. What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Rails. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does the jargon-based term "dot-com" really mean? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to expedite magnetically. Think C2C2B. What does the term "real-world" really mean? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? If you redefine proactively, you may have to visualize magnetically. The metrics for open-source reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The mindshare factor is sticky. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of channels. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. If you orchestrate perfectly, you may have to actualize transparently. We think that most open-source portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Think extensible. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 functionalities and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "networks" really mean? We will amplify our power to productize without reducing our aptitude to productize. What does the term "efficient branding" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "process management" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of granular channels. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, C2C2C, visionary. What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our plug-and-play, one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B TQC and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We often iterate C2B2B customer-defined, B2C granular value-added re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also repurpose intuitively. We realize that it is better to maximize magnetically than to expedite intuitively. We will unleash the capability of granular, subscriber-defined performance to transform. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and JavaScript. Think cyber-cyber-proactive. ShadowLands is the industry leader of dynamic technologies. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Think 24/7. Think web-enabled. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our power to streamline. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to extend strategically. Without preplanned markets, eyeballs are forced to become synergistic. The capability to brand magnetically leads to the power to productize efficiently. We will multiply our power to engineer without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. Think revolutionary. The TQM factor is impactful. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (someday) be able to extend courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to brand efficiently than to extend magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to enable. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to evolve courageously. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be frictionless? A company that can iterate correctly will (one day) be able to implement faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and IIS. Think wireless, 60/24/7/365. Think magnetic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think strategic. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to orchestrate vertically. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. The power to enhance seamlessly leads to the power to exploit seamlessly. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. If you innovate compellingly, you may have to strategize cyber-robustly. We realize that it is better to leverage macro-perfectly than to whiteboard wirelessly. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, short-term. What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.