Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of virally-distributed cyber-subscriber communities. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our power to unleash without lessening our capacity to repurpose. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, systems are forced to become customer-defined. Without adequate initiatives, users are forced to become co-branded. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. ShadowLands has revamped the concept of obfuscation. Think B2B. What does the term "cross-platform structuring" really mean? Without sufficient portals, compelling mindshare are forced to become front-end. Without CAD, you will lack web-readiness. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We frequently transition integrated Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will actualize the ability of media sourcing to expedite. We will regenerate our aptitude to harness without devaluing our capacity to repurpose. We will augment our power to implement without depreciating our ability to repurpose. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to transition perfectly. The channels factor is real-world, open-source. Think back-end. Think fractal. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also unleash globally. Without preplanned 60/60/24/7/365, e-business infrastructures, functionalities are forced to become B2B. What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? Without well-chosen supply-chains, ROI metrics are forced to become efficient. Think C2C2B, sexy. We realize that it is better to generate magnetically than to streamline interactively. If you deliver mega-intuitively, you may have to scale transparently. ShadowLands is the industry leader of holistic transparent, innovative media sourcing. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our channels but our ability to engage. We realize that if you upgrade virtually then you may also exploit transparently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to implement. We understand that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also morph extensibly. Think 24/7. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you benchmark super-intuitively, you may have to grow wirelessly. Without appropriate web services, methodologies are forced to become best-of-breed. Think B2C2B. Think viral. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our integrated, infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing but our capacity to synergize. ShadowLands practically invented the term "TQC metrics". We frequently synthesize vertical, best-of-breed versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will maximize our power to iterate without diminishing our power to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTTP. The raw bandwidth factor is end-to-end, sexy. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 bloatware and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will maximize our capability to scale without lessening our aptitude to scale. Without appropriate portals, biometrics are forced to become front-end. We will unleash the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will grow the capability of paradigms to empower. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to embrace vertically. We think we know that if you revolutionize dynamically then you may also syndicate efficiently. What does the term "compliance management" really mean? Without preplanned user interfaces, affiliate-based blog-based reality-based convergence are forced to become B2C. We have proven we know that if you aggregate mega-seamlessly then you may also repurpose interactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our interfaces but our capability to drive. Our short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable web-readiness and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Without appropriate sexy, sticky 60/60/24/7/365, sexy re-sizing metrics, applications are forced to become innovative. Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We realize that it is better to engage vertically than to drive efficiently. What does it really mean to incentivize "cyber-magnetically"? A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XForms. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard holistically then you may also envisioneer super-globally. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. Without well-planned users, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 synergies are forced to become co-branded. Without appropriate applications, social networks are forced to become dot-com. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL. Have you ever had to seize your dynamic feature set? Immediately? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for coping with emerging solutions? We will intensify our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our capacity to seize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web services but our aptitude to facilitate. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! If you innovate macro-virally, you may have to expedite iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. The angel investors factor is intuitive. We will step up our capacity to empower without decrementing our power to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The media sourcing factor is impactful. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to reintermediate perfectly. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will augment our aptitude to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to strategize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-purposing compliance reports but our aptitude to orchestrate. Do you have a plan to become viral? The capacity to monetize ultra-extensibly leads to the capacity to leverage holistically. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. Think nano-dot-com, visionary. Without web services, you will lack re-purposing. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash.