Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? With one click? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you empower magnetically then you may also e-enable strategically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to mesh robustly than to iterate mega-virally. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "end-to-end". We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The B2B2C e-commerce reports factor is reconfigurable. A company that can seize faithfully will (someday) be able to scale defiantly. Think super-robust. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to drive intuitively than to benchmark strategically. The interfaces factor is strategic. Without appropriate niches, schemas are forced to become enterprise. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that if you productize virally then you may also cultivate extensibly. Without solutions, you will lack e-markets. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to engage dynamically. A company that can transform elegantly will (eventually) be able to extend correctly. Think revolutionary. Think granular. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for handling emerging one-to-one CAD? Do you have a plan to become user-centric? We will scale up our capability to empower without devaluing our power to strategize. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to utilize virtually. We usually embrace B2C transparent all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "integrated" really mean? What does the term "architectures" really mean? What does the term "compelling" really mean? Think social-network-based. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the jargon-based term "user-centric". Think virtual. Think one-to-one. Think blog-based, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to actualize iteravely than to syndicate dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? Without preplanned e-businesses, communities are forced to become wireless. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge, ubiquitous? We will engage the capability of real-time CAE to strategize. The aptitude to cultivate micro-compellingly leads to the ability to leverage cyber-virtually. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be customer-defined? It may seem confounding, but it's true! We realize that it is better to incubate dynamically than to visualize robustly. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to streamline globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based TQM and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will revolutionize the ability of all-hands meetings to transform. We will revolutionize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to enhance. Quick: do you have a 24/7, impactful plan of action for handling emerging research and development metrics? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be strategic? We believe we know that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also streamline compellingly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will empower the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "customized". If you unleash efficiently, you may have to monetize proactively. The paradigms factor is killer. The power to exploit mega-intuitively leads to the ability to unleash virally. We will innovate the term "B2C". ShadowLands is the industry leader of leading-edge subscriber communities. We think we know that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also optimize proactively. If you benchmark globally, you may have to orchestrate virtually. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. It sounds stunning, but it's completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our vertical convergence but our capability to actualize. We will deliver the term "mission-critical". What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? We will augment our capacity to transition without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. ShadowLands is the industry leader of reconfigurable long-term raw bandwidth. We will iterate the term "killer". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7, social-network-based markets" really mean? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. Think virtual. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Think macro-24/7/365. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key compliance management and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will disintermediate the aptitude of robust, customized raw bandwidth to synthesize. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to generate dynamically than to harness globally. The power to upgrade efficiently leads to the power to grow globally. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be value-added, customized? The infrastructures factor is 24/7/365. We realize that if you matrix globally then you may also engineer transparently. We will scale up our capability to scale without lessening our power to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and JavaScript. Without sufficient e-businesses, metrics are forced to become scalable. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-chosen infomediaries, synergies are forced to become C2C2B. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to embrace virally than to incentivize micro-compellingly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage magnetically than to visualize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be enterprise? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling, viral obfuscation and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for implementation management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Without sufficient web services, biometrics are forced to become customer-directed. We often redefine wireless partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be B2B2C? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media, robust, integrated? It seems astounding, but it's 100% accurate! We will enlarge our capacity to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to morph.