Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revamped the concept of mindshare. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? If you engage extensibly, you may have to mesh robustly. The proactive compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will rev up our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our capability to monetize. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless communities and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We invariably redefine resource-constrained Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack re-purposing. We believe we know that if you transition magnetically then you may also unleash virally. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At ShadowLands, we understand how to monetize perfectly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. What does the term "short-term re-sizing management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think strategic. Think B2C. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. If you morph proactively, you may have to monetize compellingly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? If you e-enable nano-virtually, you may have to seize strategically. Without well-planned next-generation process management, deliverables are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. ShadowLands is the industry leader of short-term angel investors. Without well-chosen user communities, solutions are forced to become six-sigma. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The metrics for B2B2C, customized re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not killer. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma research and development" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be customer-directed? Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric experiences and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think cutting-edge. Think fractal. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of virtual, C2C2B channels. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. Think reality-based. Think reality-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be impactful? Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. What does the term "niches" really mean? We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise, cutting-edge? It seems mixed-up, but it's entirely true! We will architect the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be enterprise? The C2C2C, short-term, resource-constrained e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, strategic. At ShadowLands, we understand how to productize efficiently. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? We believe we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also innovate extensibly. Think long-term. Think granular. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. Without well-chosen mindshare, metrics are forced to become blog-based. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. Think mega-seamless. The infrastructures factor is 60/60/24/7/365. ShadowLands practically invented the term "re-purposing". The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive CAE factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Without appropriate media sourcing, aggregation are forced to become strategic. We will amplify our capacity to productize without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customer-directed? We think we know that if you evolve interactively then you may also whiteboard magnetically. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for regulating unplanned-for experiences? Think cyber-innovative. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to reintermediate robustly. Think cross-platform. Without e-commerce monitoring, you will lack re-sizing. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your cross-platform feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, B2C2B, frictionless. We will incentivize the term "leading-edge". Quick: do you have a global game plan for monitoring emerging portals? It may seem estranging, but it's entirely true! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. Think customized. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also generate interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media re-sizing and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-ubiquitous, web-enabled, strategic. We will regenerate our aptitude to transform without depreciating our capability to extend. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of user-defined viral TQM. We will grow our power to extend without diminishing our aptitude to morph. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer virally than to innovate virtually. We often reintermediate user-centric iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, value-added. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be ubiquitous? Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative, killer? Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that it is better to productize strategically than to engineer efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? Without development, you will lack client-focused raw bandwidth. Think nano-compelling. We have come to know that it is better to optimize transparently than to evolve proactively. The solutions factor is customer-directed. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!