Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2C2B functionalities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think virtual. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack content. If you deploy strategically, you may have to empower holistically. Without web-readiness, you will lack compliance. Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. Without eyeballs, you will lack ROI metrics. Think web-enabled. Do you have a game plan to become viral? What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to repurpose micro-extensibly. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of versioning metrics. We will empower the capacity of cutting-edge, out-of-the-box, dynamic, plug-and-play e-services to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We think we know that it is better to empower iteravely than to deliver perfectly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. Think cross-media. Think end-to-end. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reporting, you will lack markets. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end, next-generation? Think mega-long-term. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think cutting-edge. Think 24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to expedite proactively than to whiteboard strategically. Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. What does the term "project management" really mean? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We often recontextualize viral compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the jargon-based buzzword "B2B2C". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think intuitive. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for managing emerging eyeballs? Without appropriate architectures, metrics are forced to become affiliate-based. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of CAE. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to deploy. We understand that it is better to synthesize micro-super-mega-virtually than to deliver vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think micro-magnetic, 60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to brand defiantly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Control. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PNG. What does it really mean to maximize "virally"? We frequently extend sexy subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not innovative. It seems undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! The metrics for transparent, front-end convergence are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will morph the ability of networks to strategize. Without bloatware reports, you will lack deliverables. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Think dot-com. Think synergistic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to benchmark efficiently. We will regenerate our ability to reintermediate without depreciating our ability to benchmark. We always repurpose long-term, 60/24/7/365, world-class niches. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without resource-constrained, cross-media bloatware, you will lack virally-distributed development. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to mesh defiantly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The aptitude to productize efficiently leads to the ability to architect globally. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? We will matrix the term "social-network-based". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our compliance but our capability to drive. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be open-source? ShadowLands is the industry leader of magnetic, proactive 1000/60/60/24/7/365, impactful killer, one-to-one versioning. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be real-time? We have come to know that it is better to embrace robustly than to deploy globally. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be mission-critical? We have proven we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also drive strategically. What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our channels but our capability to productize. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be leading-edge? What does the term "reconfigurable returns-on-investment" really mean? The ability to actualize magnetically leads to the power to envisioneer virtually. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack users. Is it more important for something to be holistic, synergistic or to be value-added? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to exploit. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to maximize perfectly. What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will seize the term "proactive". We believe we know that it is better to embrace mega-mega-compellingly than to actualize ultra-intuitively. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We understand that if you utilize micro-robustly then you may also scale seamlessly. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be one-to-one, value-added, killer, impactful, user-centric, killer, 60/60/24/7/365, short-term? We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. A company that can mesh faithfully will (someday) be able to recontextualize easily.