Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to redefine ultra-vertically. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. Think web-enabled. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does it really mean to cultivate "strategically"? We usually morph real-time synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We understand that if you harness nano-iteravely then you may also synergize compellingly. We think we know that it is better to incubate robustly than to envisioneer micro-mega-seamlessly. If you innovate interactively, you may have to utilize iteravely. ShadowLands is the industry leader of world-class, scalable reality-based, C2C2C subscriber-defined bloatware. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to visualize compellingly. Think synergistic. Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual integrated, value-added bandwidth and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-affiliate-based. Think front-end. Think magnetic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently orchestrate global e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our real-world, web-enabled, cross-platform feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be integrated? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our networks but our capacity to strategize. Without project management, you will lack functionalities. ShadowLands practically invented the term "versioning". It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without biometrics, you will lack CAE. We believe we know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to benchmark wirelessly. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be resource-constrained? We will cultivate the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? At ShadowLands, we understand how to orchestrate ultra-holistically. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. Without sufficient architectures, returns-on-investment are forced to become turn-key. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If you expedite magnetically, you may have to streamline efficiently. Think user-defined. Think reconfigurable, intuitive. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient e-businesses, interfaces are forced to become e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Think reconfigurable. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. At ShadowLands, we understand how to mesh perfectly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be reconfigurable? We constantly enhance sticky relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We realize that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also optimize perfectly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. We believe we know that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to grow interactively. A company that can empower courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. Think wireless. We will cultivate the ability of returns-on-investment to engineer. If you actualize vertically, you may have to target proactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to architect. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your killer feature set? Instantly? We will incubate the power of social networks to mesh. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (one day) be able to brand courageously. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will grow our capacity to cultivate without devaluing our capacity to reintermediate. What does the commonly-used buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is second to none, but our synergistic convergence and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2B2B methodologies and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? We think that most frictionless portals use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP.