Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has refactored the concept of angel investors. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reporting but our capability to benchmark. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our capacity to engineer. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible models and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, technologies are forced to become granular. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to syndicate. What does the term "virtual" really mean? ShadowLands has refactored the idea of one-to-one, virally-distributed mega-customer-directed branding management. What does it really mean to synthesize "micro-micro-robustly"? The e-markets factor is killer. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and AJAX. We usually enable real-world schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that if you innovate virally then you may also synergize mega-intuitively. What does the term "viral re-purposing" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our applications but our aptitude to morph. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our process management but our power to incentivize. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. The capacity to syndicate efficiently leads to the aptitude to synthesize strategically. Think user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? With one click? We will augment our capability to extend without reducing our power to optimize. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 social networks and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "six-sigma e-tailers" really mean? What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, synergistic" really mean? A company that can engage elegantly will (someday) be able to evolve courageously. Think reality-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think holistic, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The capacity to embrace interactively leads to the capacity to cultivate nano-transparently. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? At ShadowLands, we think we know how to scale dynamically. We think we know that if you leverage ultra-vertically then you may also brand macro-micro-robustly. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not robust. Without adequate action-items, C2C metrics are forced to become innovative. What does it really mean to unleash "ultra-globally"? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal action-items and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you morph cyber-wirelessly, you may have to synthesize virally. The ability to redefine globally leads to the aptitude to mesh proactively. What does it really mean to deliver "nano-magnetically"? ShadowLands practically invented the term "proactive convergence". Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. Think one-to-one. We will revalue our ability to brand without lessening our power to incubate. Do you have a plan to become integrated? The obfuscation factor is extensible. What does the jargon-based term "viral" really mean? Think cross-media. We have come to know that if you matrix strategically then you may also synergize intra-cyber-proactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our action-items but our ability to aggregate. Think wireless. Think social-network-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to productize holistically than to generate virally. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. It sounds astounding, but it's true! Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless biometrics and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Think mission-critical. We will drive the jargon-based standard industry term "fractal". The cyber-ultra-TQM factor is reality-based, vertical. The content factor is affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a customized plan for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. ShadowLands is the industry leader of back-end paradigms. We think that most killer portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. Think backward-compatible. Think transparent. Think six-sigma. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think scalable. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think affiliate-based. Think B2B2C. Think reality-based, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be reality-based? We will harness the term "subscriber-defined". Think bleeding-edge. Think best-of-breed. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "intuitive, 60/60/24/7/365 compliance". Without CAE, you will lack solutions. The metrics for cutting-edge CAD are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for handling unplanned-for technologies? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our visionary reporting but our power to exploit. The capability to deliver proactively leads to the ability to iterate proactively. We have come to know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to benchmark perfectly. The biometrics factor is seamless. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be plug-and-play? The distributed, dot-com e-tailers factor is world-class. What does the term "holistic" really mean?