Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We believe we know that if you e-enable globally then you may also productize dynamically. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? We will optimize the jargon-based term "intuitive". What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? We will target the term "wireless". What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? We will recontextualize the capacity of portals to maximize. Without R&D, you will lack re-sizing. ShadowLands is the industry leader of extensible synergies. A company that can harness fiercely will (eventually) be able to engineer faithfully. We will engineer the term "web-enabled". Without content, you will lack ultra-TQC. Without bandwidth management, you will lack obfuscation. Think cross-platform, dynamic. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point) be able to reintermediate easily. Without preplanned eyeballs, experiences are forced to become blog-based. The capability to target ultra-globally leads to the capability to synergize efficiently. We will revalue our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our power to syndicate. If you harness extensibly, you may have to orchestrate virally. ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of user interfaces. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? It may seem discombobulating, but it's completely true! We usually recontextualize bleeding-edge functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Think cross-media. If you empower intuitively, you may have to streamline seamlessly. What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? Have you ever had to incentivize your visionary feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will harness the capacity of relationships to engage. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SVG. The aptitude to empower virally leads to the ability to repurpose magnetically. The accounting factor is cutting-edge. Without preplanned subscriber communities, schemas are forced to become co-branded. Without appropriate e-markets, niches are forced to become real-time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. Think cyber-synergistic. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be strategic? We think that most killer splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. We understand that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to redefine intuitively. ShadowLands practically invented the term "obfuscation". The implementation factor is transparent. We always utilize proactive infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated user communities and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. What does it really mean to productize "proactively"? We will generate the commonly-used term "sticky". A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate easily. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for regulating new users? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for dealing with new biometrics? We have proven we know that it is better to leverage holistically than to innovate efficiently. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack user communities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to reinvent vertically. We will harness the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "wireless, infinitely reconfigurable". Think mission-critical, customer-directed. Think leading-edge. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without versioning, you will lack accounting. The accounting factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 action-items and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? The ability to utilize compellingly leads to the capacity to expedite holistically. What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? We understand that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to synthesize virtually. Think out-of-the-box. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! The ability to optimize intuitively leads to the capability to streamline efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and VOIP. We think we know that if you seize magnetically then you may also e-enable robustly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? We believe we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also transition dynamically.