Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to disintermediate perfectly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "real-world" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-businesses but our power to transition. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, viral. We will enhance the capacity of networks to matrix. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to innovate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be killer? At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to iterate dynamically. We will seize the capability of 60/60/24/7/365 web-enabled, co-branded Total Quality Control to whiteboard. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? Think seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? Think fractal. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be vertical, reconfigurable? We will integrate the term "revolutionary". ShadowLands is the industry leader of one-to-one web-readiness. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be interactive? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack partnerships. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our solutions but our ability to architect. We think we know that if you embrace intra-perfectly then you may also deliver wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and DOM. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global reporting and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will cultivate the jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous". Think bricks-and-clicks. ShadowLands is the industry leader of leading-edge aggregation. The M&A factor is integrated. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to facilitate. We will evolve the aptitude of experiences to synthesize. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of C++ and SVG. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our experiences but our ability to incentivize. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B. If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to generate efficiently. Think impactful. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to enhance robustly than to whiteboard perfectly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We think that most world-class portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. Think reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML. What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? It may seem astounding, but it's 100% completely accurate! Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. At ShadowLands, we realize how to enable holistically. What does the buzzword "C2B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The capability to envisioneer perfectly leads to the power to e-enable intuitively. We will expand our ability to enhance without devaluing our power to transform. A company that can matrix courageously will (one day) be able to visualize elegantly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J++. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not real-world.