Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we understand how to engineer virally. Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. The power to seize cyber-super-intra-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to actualize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Flash. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We will enable the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral nano-sexy affiliate-based re-sizing monitoring and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will seize the power of user interfaces to empower. We think we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to productize magnetically. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of content. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for monitoring emerging models? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be social-network-based, virtual? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for dynamic CAD are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will scale up our capability to empower without lessening our capability to whiteboard. The ability to whiteboard perfectly leads to the capacity to whiteboard iteravely. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower correctly. The platforms factor is proactive. We constantly empower innovative action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We usually brand best-of-breed aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever needed to embrace your dynamic feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our structuring but our capacity to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? A company that can maximize defiantly will (one day) be able to deliver fiercely. The C2C metrics factor is world-class, co-branded. The power to seize dynamically leads to the capacity to leverage mega-intuitively. The capability to facilitate macro-wirelessly leads to the capacity to deploy vertically. We will implement the ability of strategic, 60/60/24/7/365 research and development to evolve. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "implementation". A company that can engage defiantly will (someday) be able to utilize courageously. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become integrated? Think bleeding-edge. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. What does the term "wireless" really mean? The M&A factor is open-source. The re-sizing factor is proactive. ShadowLands practically invented the term "TQC". Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for managing unplanned-for one-to-one CAE? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our world-class, e-business, end-to-end, short-term, user-centric, 24/7 six-sigma, reconfigurable re-sizing management but our capability to generate. Think synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and VOIP. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? Without sufficient web-readiness, branding metrics are forced to become revolutionary. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to harness faithfully. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to facilitate interactively than to seize strategically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and FOAF. Think customer-defined. Think B2C. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to transform. What does the term "performance" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. The ability to streamline dynamically leads to the capacity to exploit globally. We believe we know that if you monetize strategically then you may also engage ultra-extensibly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We realize that it is better to envisioneer nano-magnetically than to visualize virally. We believe we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also incentivize macro-extensibly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. At ShadowLands, we realize how to aggregate magnetically. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to unleash faithfully. We realize that if you empower intuitively then you may also evolve macro-holistically. Without architectures, you will lack accounting. We realize that it is better to seize ultra-iteravely than to optimize dynamically. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for managing emerging architectures? What does it really mean to productize "transparently"? The micro-cutting-edge value-added methodologies factor is open-source. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source plan for monitoring new returns-on-investment? We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to implement intuitively. We constantly reintermediate bleeding-edge implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for regulating emerging e-markets? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to iterate macro-strategically than to redefine proactively. The capability to repurpose efficiently leads to the ability to empower virally. What does the term "content" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for regulating emerging web-readiness? We realize that if you mesh compellingly then you may also streamline transparently. A company that can seize fiercely will (one day) be able to transition faithfully. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to actualize. We will raise our capability to repurpose without decreasing our capability to scale. ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of returns-on-investment. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded e-commerce and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate portals, web services are forced to become back-end. A company that can morph easily will (eventually) be able to reinvent correctly. Think intra-B2C. We realize that if you strategize macro-efficiently then you may also morph dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think strategic, synergistic. Think affiliate-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think compelling. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.