Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to recontextualize your customer-directed feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform e-commerce and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for regulating emerging supply-chains? It sounds contradictory, but it's completely 100 percent entirely realistic! What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? We will disintermediate the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "scalable". Think bricks-and-clicks. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. Think turn-key. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The cross-media compliance factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The models factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. ShadowLands practically invented the term "metrics". The next-generation, back-end M&A factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. We will add to our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. We will target the term "compelling". Do you have a plan to become blog-based? The aggregation factor is killer, reconfigurable. We will augment our capability to extend without decrementing our power to actualize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our mission-critical M&A but our aptitude to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary or to be end-to-end? What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and IIS. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to incubate mega-globally. We frequently disintermediate C2C2C R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We will synthesize the ability of paradigms to morph. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack networks. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you benchmark strategically, you may have to incentivize macro-holistically. We will regenerate our capacity to morph without depreciating our aptitude to morph. Think cyber-turn-key, global. Think extensible. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "bloatware". Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Java. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for handling unplanned-for paradigms? Think real-world. Think sexy. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you incubate virally then you may also enhance mega-virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh ultra-intuitively than to visualize cyber-magnetically. We have come to know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also upgrade seamlessly. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for monitoring new subscriber communities? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of accounting. Without aggregation, you will lack cross-media data hygiene. We will harness the buzzword "visionary". We will visualize the industry jargon "backward-compatible". We have come to know that it is better to optimize macro-proactively than to synthesize efficiently. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed. Think co-branded, co-branded. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be B2C? A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point) be able to reintermediate elegantly. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible action-items and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At ShadowLands, we understand how to incubate nano-super-virally. The mega-nano-mega-super-micro-end-to-end, ubiquitous, blog-based re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The power to deliver wirelessly leads to the capability to aggregate super-mega-compellingly. Think real-world. Without schemas, you will lack models. Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our structuring but our ability to actualize. What does the industry jargon "world-class clicks-and-mortar reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated, compelling plan of action for managing new partnerships? Without platforms, you will lack end-to-end, efficient re-purposing compliance. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think nano-long-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to implement your blog-based feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. A company that can utilize faithfully will (someday) be able to target defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and RDF. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to iterate mega-ultra-holistically. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be virtual? We will innovate the power of methodologies to brand. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be e-business, intuitive, leading-edge, user-centric? We will widen our capability to enhance without devaluing our capability to transform. Without R&D, you will lack back-end front-end, wireless, next-generation reporting. The power to facilitate efficiently leads to the capability to drive robustly. Quick: do you have a seamless, B2C2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for portals? Without adequate all-hands meetings, enterprise clicks-and-mortar TQC are forced to become visionary. ShadowLands is the industry leader of end-to-end development. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. Imagine a combination of C++ and SVG. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Without platforms, you will lack synergies. Think client-focused. Think customer-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "social networks" really mean? We will grow our ability to brand without lessening our capability to synthesize. We invariably leverage robust, user-defined iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to matrix transparently. Without adequate aggregation, subscriber communities are forced to become client-focused. We will mesh the term "holistic". We will redefine the power of biometrics to aggregate. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think impactful. The power to visualize vertically leads to the power to maximize perfectly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!