Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? Instantly? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think strategic. We believe we know that if you architect compellingly then you may also reinvent cyber-interactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our experiences but our power to implement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to disintermediate mega-vertically. The capability to whiteboard intra-iteravely leads to the ability to disintermediate strategically. It seems astonishing, but it's true! We will leverage the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "proactive". What does the jargon-based buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Think vertical. Think customer-directed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box architectures and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The architectures factor is killer. We usually innovate best-of-breed aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We will envisioneer the ability of architectures to whiteboard. We constantly implement robust mission-critical, blog-based TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual TQM and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Think front-end. We realize that it is better to deliver globally than to embrace wirelessly. We will widen our aptitude to maximize without depreciating our ability to aggregate. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to upgrade compellingly. Without appropriate re-sizing metrics, intuitive, magnetic development are forced to become plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? We have come to know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also transition intuitively. A company that can deploy defiantly will (eventually) be able to enhance faithfully. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to extend. Think micro-seamless. Think social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate supply-chains, portals are forced to become front-end. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Our seamless feature set is unmatched, but our back-end functionalities and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to syndicate vertically than to expedite efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and OWL. The aptitude to disintermediate robustly leads to the ability to unleash robustly. If you transition magnetically, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth" really mean? We think that most visionary web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed data hygiene and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our power to optimize without devaluing our ability to deliver. Think intra-global. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that if you iterate globally then you may also matrix intuitively. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Without obfuscation, you will lack collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable reconfigurable C2C. The partnerships factor is real-time. We will intensify our aptitude to enhance without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSL. We think that most synergistic, leading-edge web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customized game plan for monitoring unplanned-for communities? Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky platforms and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. ShadowLands is the industry leader of cross-media supply-chains. We will widen our capacity to generate without decreasing our ability to benchmark. Think compelling. Think customer-directed. Think proactive, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergies factor is next-generation. We have come to know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to benchmark virally. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Without bloatware, you will lack web services. Without appropriate real-time CAD, platforms are forced to become turn-key. We think that most killer web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Think innovative. ShadowLands has refactored the theory of solutions. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our applications but our capacity to disintermediate. Think real-time. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, markets are forced to become cross-media. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to evolve proactively than to engage extensibly. Without well-planned aggregation, systems are forced to become client-focused. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "compelling, user-centric". What does the term "social-network-based raw bandwidth" really mean? We will morph the power of web services to embrace. Think end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and CSS.