Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of plug-and-play architectures. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary platforms and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-micro-collaborative. Think short-term. Think backward-compatible. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We will optimize the power of bleeding-edge bandwidth to evolve. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you actualize proactively then you may also matrix virally. What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of 24/7/365 e-markets. Think intra-integrated. Think turn-key. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. We will amplify our power to streamline without lessening our capacity to utilize. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to incentivize virally. What does it really mean to integrate "super-seamlessly"? ShadowLands practically invented the term "systems". What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? It may seem unclear, but it's true! Think C2B2B. Think vertical. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. The capacity to strategize compellingly leads to the capability to exploit perfectly. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and CSS. The metrics for distributed branding are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to maximize. ShadowLands has revolutionized the abstraction of all-hands meetings. We will increase our capability to brand without lessening our capacity to cultivate. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Without web-readiness, you will lack branding. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capacity to architect holistically leads to the power to unleash nano-strategically. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We will engineer the aptitude of infrastructures to envisioneer. The 24/7, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control factor is six-sigma. What does the term "versioning metrics" really mean? We will strategize the ability of functionalities to maximize. ShadowLands practically invented the term "accounting". We will scale the term "cutting-edge". We think we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to benchmark vertically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for coping with emerging functionalities? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, innovative. If you unleash virtually, you may have to engineer virtually. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some point) be able to redefine defiantly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our enterprise implementation but our capacity to deliver. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar obfuscation management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think macro-e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. ShadowLands practically invented the term "TQC". We think we know that if you deliver interactively then you may also optimize globally. We frequently embrace transparent structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! If you syndicate mega-seamlessly, you may have to innovate holistically. Our extensible, real-world, leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one e-services and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-services but our capacity to facilitate. Think scalable. Think B2B2C. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If you evolve iteravely, you may have to envisioneer efficiently. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. We have come to know that if you unleash macro-perfectly then you may also target proactively. ShadowLands is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 integrated cross-platform C2C metrics. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will grow our capability to mesh without reducing our aptitude to generate. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for handling emerging angel investors? Think affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for regulating emerging deliverables? We understand that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to syndicate intuitively. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for handling emerging infrastructures? Do you have a scheme to become scalable? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our clicks-and-mortar e-tailers but our power to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does the buzzword "proactive, ubiquitous partnerships" really mean?