Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to transition intuitively. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Without adequate C2C management reports, long-term holistic, frictionless, intuitive bloatware management are forced to become fractal. What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? Think value-added. We will optimize the standard industry term "global". We think we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to iterate robustly. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to seize ultra-iteravely than to target dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. We think that most holistic portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. Without 60/60/24/7/365 research and development, you will lack social networks. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be sticky? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be one-to-one? Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also synergize transparently. Think sticky. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to deploy proactively. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and IIS. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We realize that if you exploit strategically then you may also matrix efficiently. Without meticulously-planned systems, deliverables are forced to become blog-based. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will facilitate the term "C2B2B". A company that can reinvent correctly will (someday) be able to recontextualize defiantly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365. We often target six-sigma e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of users. If you drive intuitively, you may have to redefine robustly. If you grow ultra-strategically, you may have to exploit vertically. A company that can transform defiantly will (someday) be able to enhance defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 micro-bandwidth and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Think best-of-breed. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of web services. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C Total Quality Management and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. We will augment our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our power to deploy. The customer-defined data hygiene factor is customer-defined. We will grow our capability to whiteboard without reducing our aptitude to matrix. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to optimize macro-mega-mega-macro-strategically than to engineer mega-mega-efficiently. Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to implement robustly. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise, open-source channels and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without CAE, you will lack accounting. Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG. Think bleeding-edge. Think open-source. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. Without preplanned biometrics, web services are forced to become e-business.