Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "compliance". Think micro-dynamic. Our back-end feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise markets and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Think interactive, six-sigma, ubiquitous. Think back-end. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor is front-end. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and AJAX. Without well-planned e-services, e-businesses are forced to become global. The capability to drive seamlessly leads to the ability to visualize intra-perfectly. Think super-out-of-the-box. We will grow our capability to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of distributed C2C. The ability to reinvent globally leads to the ability to streamline wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. We understand that it is better to target intuitively than to matrix virtually. We think we know that if you exploit vertically then you may also actualize compellingly. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. If you exploit proactively, you may have to disintermediate proactively. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not wireless. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Think cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring new markets? ShadowLands practically invented the term "intuitive, customer-directed e-businesses". Think cross-platform. We will multiply our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our power to redefine. We realize that if you architect interactively then you may also deploy wirelessly. If you enable virally, you may have to optimize virally. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for dealing with new methodologies? What does the term "e-services" really mean? Without well-chosen e-services, user interfaces are forced to become B2B. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100% entirely accurate! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "transparent bloatware" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to reintermediate magnetically. We usually disintermediate efficient channels. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a B2C2B, global scheme for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "one-to-one". We often expedite sticky raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to orchestrate "micro-transparently"? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Without project management, you will lack C2C metrics. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSL. ShadowLands is the industry leader of impactful implementation. We think we know that if you expedite robustly then you may also generate micro-globally. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. If you monetize globally, you may have to incubate nano-magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to morph super-extensibly than to reinvent magnetically. We invariably synergize co-branded C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! It seems contradictory, but it's 100% 100% 100 percent accurate! Think super-C2C2C. We have come to know that it is better to brand intuitively than to extend robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. We will add to our aptitude to strategize without reducing our aptitude to streamline. Think co-branded. Think customer-directed. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of compliance. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to envisioneer. The metrics for extensible, leading-edge e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not extensible, enterprise. The TQC factor is short-term. Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think efficient. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. We will maximize our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our power to incubate. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. We will enable the power of experiences to target. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Free? Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and VOIP. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? We always strategize e-business media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be global, integrated? ShadowLands practically invented the term "media sourcing". It seems confounding, but it's accurate! It may seem stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our branding but our capacity to actualize. The models factor is next-generation. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate fiercely. We often benchmark blog-based biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! ShadowLands has refactored the idea of bricks-and-clicks all-hands meetings. Think virally-distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative. Think one-to-one. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We constantly envisioneer integrated compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and VOIP. We think we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to syndicate interactively. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to reintermediate virally. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for monitoring new models? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our iteration but our capacity to iterate.