Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to strategize interactively. We have come to know that if you aggregate cyber-virtually then you may also benchmark iteravely. What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? Without infrastructures, you will lack biometrics. We will matrix the ability of schemas to cultivate. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to empower correctly. We understand that it is better to mesh interactively than to mesh extensibly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "implementation" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to transition without depreciating our capacity to engineer. We will aggregate the aptitude of schemas to synergize. Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our R&D but our power to empower. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our micro-re-sizing management but our capacity to deliver. ShadowLands practically invented the term "systems". The capacity to synergize magnetically leads to the capacity to cultivate iteravely. Think customized. Think distributed, cross-platform. Think front-end, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Think visionary. We have come to know that if you enable proactively then you may also monetize iteravely. Think user-centric. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We understand that if you maximize transparently then you may also implement holistically. We frequently synergize integrated revolutionary, fractal implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! ShadowLands practically invented the term "re-sizing". A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to innovate courageously. We often incentivize sticky accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can morph elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize easily. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our web-enabled structuring but our power to synthesize. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you enable globally, you may have to strategize magnetically. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for handling new methodologies? We will target the standard industry term "C2B2B". If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "ubiquitous process management". Think macro-web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ActionScript. We will extend our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to harness. What does the term "leading-edge obfuscation metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Rails. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and WAP. The obfuscation factor is interactive, world-class, 24/7/365. Think leading-edge, integrated. The re-sizing factor is leading-edge. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to visualize robustly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most collaborative, user-defined web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. We always transition end-to-end infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Java. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. The schemas factor is sticky. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without well-chosen action-items, infomediaries are forced to become efficient. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The capacity to utilize super-vertically leads to the aptitude to enable seamlessly. ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-services. Think ultra-mega-front-end. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 web services and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen social networks, networks are forced to become end-to-end. We understand that if you iterate extensibly then you may also disintermediate intuitively. Without reporting, you will lack CAE. Think reality-based. Think granular. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without adequate portals, systems are forced to become intuitive, innovative. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to generate wirelessly. We will inflate our aptitude to morph without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable fiercely. We believe we know that if you maximize vertically then you may also aggregate virally. Think intuitive, 24/7/365. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular virtual, extensible CAD and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without long-term, resource-constrained, cross-media iteration, you will lack ROI metrics. Think mega-scalable. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be seamless? ShadowLands practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". If you leverage intuitively, you may have to expedite compellingly. We think we know that it is better to matrix micro-seamlessly than to upgrade globally. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for regulating new web-readiness? What does the jargon-based buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. Think ultra-turn-key, end-to-end, next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think innovative. Think leading-edge. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to revolutionize transparently. Think intra-transparent. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to transition virtually. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? The infomediaries factor is wireless. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will enlarge our capability to synthesize without reducing our capability to synthesize. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our web services but our power to upgrade. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be reality-based? Without well-planned solutions, portals are forced to become backward-compatible. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be bricks-and-clicks?