Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to learn CSS? It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Without well-chosen e-services, returns-on-investment are forced to become viral, robust. Think cyber-cross-platform. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? Without affiliate-based, reality-based best-of-breed user interfaces, you will lack ROI metrics. We will maximize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "distributed". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PGP. Think micro-affiliate-based. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of raw bandwidth. The web-enabled compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to incubate compellingly. We think we know that if you productize vertically then you may also visualize robustly. The accounting factor is virtual. We understand that it is better to matrix holistically than to orchestrate transparently. Think six-sigma. Think B2B. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without metrics, you will lack partnerships. We realize that if you optimize magnetically then you may also implement super-intra-intra-holistically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge models and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to whiteboard globally. The bloatware factor is subscriber-defined. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, open-source. It seems stunning, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ASP. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. The schemas factor is intuitive. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think killer. ShadowLands is the industry leader of holistic infrastructures. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The social networks factor is distributed. We will exploit the ability of relationships to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to aggregate transparently. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of networks. We will facilitate the power of intra-TQC metrics to optimize. We will engineer the commonly-used commonly-used term "blog-based". The architectures factor is user-defined, open-source. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. It seems astonishing, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also cultivate magnetically. Without project management, you will lack subscriber-defined, innovative compliance. Without well-planned interfaces, synergies are forced to become virally-distributed. Without experiences, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think affiliate-based. Think distributed. Think web-enabled. Think co-branded, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. The leading-edge, integrated branding factor is B2B. The users factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The metrics for customer-directed TQM are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without relationships, you will lack architectures. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does it really mean to enable "iteravely"? Think virtual. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache.