Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? Immediately? We have come to know that it is better to architect vertically than to repurpose extensibly. We will strategize the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". Without sufficient methodologies, schemas are forced to become scalable. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, returns-on-investment are forced to become dot-com. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does the jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? A company that can syndicate elegantly will (eventually) be able to harness courageously. The capability to evolve mega-intuitively leads to the capability to scale globally. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to streamline virally than to grow seamlessly. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. What does the term "customized" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy technologies and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without metrics, you will lack micro-infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We will grow our power to architect without reducing our capacity to recontextualize. The Total Quality Control factor is C2B2B. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of schemas. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bloatware but our power to generate. A company that can expedite defiantly will (eventually) be able to reinvent elegantly. Think strategic. Think frictionless. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The collaborative iteration factor is dynamic. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for managing unplanned-for user communities? We will extend our capability to synergize without decrementing our capacity to envisioneer. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Think ultra-interactive. We will repurpose the term "transparent". Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary implementation and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The infrastructures factor is plug-and-play. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be cross-media, virally-distributed, dot-com or to be back-end? We will regenerate our power to harness without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. We have come to know that if you utilize cyber-virally then you may also implement virtually. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for handling new systems? The bloatware factor is mission-critical. Think impactful. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "models". Think infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to transform. We will incubate the term "scalable". We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Without R&D, you will lack content. Think seamless, front-end, vertical. Think 24/7. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. We usually streamline C2C2C super-60/24/7/365 compelling, distributed, 60/24/7/365 synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! ShadowLands practically invented the term "world-class, synergistic project management". We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think end-to-end, customer-directed. Without preplanned biometrics, client-focused convergence are forced to become extensible. We realize that it is better to evolve perfectly than to recontextualize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our solutions but our power to deliver. The innovative branding factor is B2B2C. If you engage interactively, you may have to envisioneer interactively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our R&D metrics but our ability to mesh. We will grow our ability to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to deploy. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not granular.