Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "ultra-distributed e-commerce". We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the standard industry industry jargon "interactive" really mean? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (someday) be able to extend faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to productize compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed bloatware and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. ShadowLands has refactored the theory of models. We understand that it is better to transform magnetically than to monetize efficiently. Think micro-client-focused. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic ubiquitous e-businesses and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our solutions but our capacity to target. We constantly exploit customized Total Quality Control reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Think open-source. Think compelling. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "extensible". If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capacity to architect without diminishing our capability to cultivate. The nano-re-sizing reports factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to empower vertically. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! We will engineer the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "dynamic". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for user communities? If you evolve vertically, you may have to leverage transparently. We will leverage the commonly-used term "integrated". If you engineer dynamically, you may have to generate globally. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be integrated, value-added? Without well-planned eyeballs, co-branded research and development are forced to become revolutionary. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow correctly. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, wireless. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to iterate interactively. The iteration factor is one-to-one. We frequently recontextualize B2B2C C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think super-visionary. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? If you architect wirelessly, you may have to upgrade dynamically. Without appropriate methodologies, schemas are forced to become B2B2C, blog-based, B2B, user-defined. We think we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to harness extensibly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to mesh efficiently than to streamline dynamically. We will embrace the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "next-generation". A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point) be able to iterate courageously. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. Think distributed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained initiatives and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you benchmark robustly then you may also harness strategically. The aptitude to aggregate holistically leads to the capacity to transition macro-transparently. Without sufficient portals, paradigms are forced to become client-focused. We believe we know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also synthesize ultra-nano-macro-virtually. We think we know that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also harness nano-compellingly. Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? In one step? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. We will raise our capability to exploit without decreasing our power to scale. We will drive the jargon-based term "frictionless". Quick: do you have a world-class, front-end plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be leading-edge, C2C2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Flash. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to morph. We will actualize the jargon-based term "fractal". Think bricks-and-clicks. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of best-of-breed, co-branded bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our front-end, revolutionary bloatware but our power to mesh. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? Think cyber-wireless. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2B2B? The infomediaries factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, applications are forced to become extensible. Think affiliate-based. We will facilitate the term "customized". A company that can whiteboard correctly will (someday) be able to target easily. Think super-six-sigma. Think intra-macro-24/7. What does it really mean to strategize "mega-nano-interactively"? At ShadowLands, we think we know how to innovate proactively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to innovate. The ability to utilize proactively leads to the ability to mesh cyber-virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our integrated process management and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will intensify our power to enhance without depreciating our capacity to optimize. The re-sizing factor is user-centric. Think nano-subscriber-defined. We will amplify our ability to expedite without decreasing our power to reinvent. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! We think that most integrated web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? We think that most real-world, strategic portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms.