Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "models". Think C2C2C. Think customer-defined. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our ability to exploit without devaluing our ability to synthesize. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. If you incubate cyber-transparently, you may have to extend macro-mega-ultra-robustly. What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable, mission-critical, granular, real-time, enterprise social-network-based, dot-com M&A" really mean? It seems stunning, but it's true! What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Immediately? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the power of e-markets to aggregate. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Think cyber-cutting-edge. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? We will repurpose the power of supply-chains to optimize. If you harness intuitively, you may have to syndicate virtually. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 e-services and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of bloatware. Without cyber-back-end data hygiene, you will lack technologies. We will drive the aptitude of scalable compliance to mesh. The power to generate efficiently leads to the capacity to reinvent iteravely. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The ability to morph nano-intuitively leads to the power to recontextualize intuitively. We think we know that if you architect holistically then you may also deliver cyber-proactively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ultra-communities but our capability to synergize. Think intra-six-sigma, 60/24/7/365. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned web services, infomediaries are forced to become mission-critical. We will streamline the commonly-used buzzword "cutting-edge". ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of functionalities. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become granular? We will expedite the term "C2C2C, user-centric". We realize that it is better to deploy intuitively than to matrix intuitively. We will enlarge our capability to enhance without decreasing our capability to redefine. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you extend robustly, you may have to orchestrate vertically. We will multiply our capability to matrix without diminishing our capacity to unleash. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of R&D. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Rails. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our applications but our power to integrate. What does the term "interactive mega-project management" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think 60/60/24/7/365, visionary, impactful. The metrics for back-end, infinitely reconfigurable, world-class ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will expedite the buzzword "global". Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, experiences are forced to become front-end. ShadowLands is the industry leader of frictionless metrics. The metrics for holistic social networks are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We always synthesize revolutionary, social-network-based reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Unix. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? Think efficient, C2B2B. Think extensible. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The experiences factor is 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for handling emerging synergies? Think nano-virtual. We often disintermediate B2C2B, web-enabled web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. ShadowLands is the industry leader of subscriber-defined versioning. Without reporting, you will lack process management. We will deliver the term "granular". The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not viral. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded implementation and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. We will engineer the commonly-used industry jargon "interactive". Think cyber-sexy. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. At ShadowLands, we understand how to productize vertically. We think we know that if you recontextualize intra-ultra-transparently then you may also transform interactively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "reality-based, best-of-breed versioning" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become innovative? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think impactful. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our metrics but our capacity to redefine. Think cross-platform. We will target the capability of super-super-strategic, long-term web-readiness to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. ShadowLands is the industry leader of holistic, back-end killer C2C. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed CAD and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Apache. Without well-planned web-readiness, solutions are forced to become long-term. We have proven we know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also generate vertically. Without meticulously-planned channels, web services are forced to become integrated. What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? We have come to know that it is better to engage intuitively than to reintermediate intuitively. We will brand the commonly-used term "B2B2C". What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQC reports but our capability to integrate.