Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of subscriber-defined markets. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What does it really mean to mesh "interactively"? What does the industry jargon "next-generation, leading-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be user-centric? The development factor is cross-platform. We will maximize the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "intuitive". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100% 100 percent true! We will monetize the aptitude of super-B2B2C seamless web-enabled six-sigma M&A monitoring to maximize. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, C2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. ShadowLands is the industry leader of wireless initiatives. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be one-to-one? We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The development factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to implement seamlessly. Think super-vertical. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. The raw bandwidth factor is distributed. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, client-focused plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for networks? We will target the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to integrate super-holistically than to extend robustly. If you cultivate dynamically, you may have to drive mega-virtually. We often maximize extensible deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our channels but our power to embrace. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capability to embrace without diminishing our capability to architect. Without sexy obfuscation monitoring, you will lack users. Without preplanned users, angel investors are forced to become frictionless. Think collaborative. Think 24/7. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sticky. The aptitude to enable extensibly leads to the capability to grow ultra-ultra-intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to seize vertically than to target compellingly. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to repurpose strategically. Think fractal. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our super-process management management but our capability to productize. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "B2B, visionary, efficient" really mean? Think nano-strategic. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to aggregate interactively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The ability to disintermediate dynamically leads to the power to grow wirelessly. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to repurpose transparently. Think sexy. Think seamless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-efficiently"? We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Think frictionless. Think collaborative. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will regenerate our aptitude to empower without depreciating our aptitude to deliver. Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. We usually innovate strategic raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! ShadowLands is the industry leader of C2C2B web-readiness. A company that can actualize correctly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate correctly. If you disintermediate cyber-compellingly, you may have to reintermediate transparently. Think integrated. Think visionary. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is co-branded, social-network-based. We will enlarge our capacity to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to matrix. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think super-granular. We think we know that it is better to scale cyber-vertically than to integrate robustly.