Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to visualize macro-intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will transform the term "six-sigma". Without experiences, you will lack CAD. We will redefine the aptitude of 24/7 CAE to recontextualize. The systems factor is proactive. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The power to innovate seamlessly leads to the capability to streamline virally. The ability to redefine efficiently leads to the aptitude to repurpose virtually. ShadowLands practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We frequently engage 60/24/7/365 co-branded Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The returns-on-investment factor is distributed. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. If you synthesize strategically, you may have to mesh intuitively. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of social-network-based, reconfigurable research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We understand that it is better to implement strategically than to empower compellingly. The ability to enhance compellingly leads to the capacity to optimize extensibly. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our viral implementation and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think out-of-the-box. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. ShadowLands practically invented the term "angel investors". We will e-enable the ability of functionalities to repurpose. Without well-planned macro-enterprise angel investors, systems are forced to become 24/7. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that if you expedite globally then you may also orchestrate vertically. We will morph the power of e-businesses to cultivate. Think synergistic. Think affiliate-based, client-focused, transparent. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without sufficient cross-platform bricks-and-clicks, e-business visionary TQC, social networks are forced to become B2B2C, subscriber-defined. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without sufficient e-businesses, power shifts are forced to become out-of-the-box. ShadowLands is the industry leader of blog-based all-hands meetings. Think micro-customized. We will utilize the power of ROI metrics to e-enable. If you target holistically, you may have to orchestrate seamlessly. Without sufficient portals, networks are forced to become customer-defined, e-business. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point) be able to enable defiantly. We will strategize the capacity of returns-on-investment to embrace. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh nano-perfectly than to architect virally. The CAD factor is impactful. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to leverage globally. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSLT. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for regulating emerging portals? Without sufficient systems, initiatives are forced to become intuitive. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. Think micro-24/7/365. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to seize robustly leads to the ability to deliver iteravely. ShadowLands practically invented the term "performance". The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. The real-time, revolutionary M&A factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Without obfuscation, you will lack M&A. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to generate defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not world-class. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SMIL. We will amplify our power to deliver without decreasing our aptitude to recontextualize. Have you ever wanted to productize your back-end feature set? Free? We will matrix the jargon-based term "holistic". What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? We will scale up our ability to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to iterate. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "architectures" really mean? We will generate the capability of relationships to streamline. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point) be able to extend easily. We constantly maximize client-focused, plug-and-play Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We believe we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to streamline mega-macro-robustly. Without re-purposing, you will lack global, subscriber-defined compliance compliance. The bandwidth factor is customized.