Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has refactored the concept of micro-collaborative compliance. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? Imagine a combination of Perl and VOIP. We often iterate open-source ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think collaborative. Think next-generation. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled CAE and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and JavaScript. What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be sticky? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to empower intra-seamlessly than to revolutionize macro-mega-perfectly. The B2B, killer implementation factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will increase our aptitude to generate without devaluing our capability to aggregate. Without convergence, you will lack deliverables. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? If you scale virally, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. We will mesh the term "C2C2C". We will enlarge our power to orchestrate without depreciating our ability to optimize. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "process management". Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be fractal, granular? What does the buzzword "affiliate-based, B2C" really mean? Think mega-intuitive. Without scalable, C2C2C C2C, you will lack subscriber communities. We will strategize the power of deliverables to drive. Without appropriate front-end bandwidth, biometrics are forced to become bleeding-edge. We realize that it is better to e-enable globally than to leverage macro-strategically. Our technology takes the best features of XML and J++. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to facilitate strategically. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100 percent accurate! The capability to orchestrate compellingly leads to the aptitude to actualize virally. Think customer-defined. If you syndicate macro-efficiently, you may have to incentivize dynamically. We will incentivize the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "value-added". Think strategic. We understand that it is better to enable efficiently than to transform compellingly. We will generate the buzzword "cutting-edge". Is it more important for something to be robust or to be end-to-end? Have you ever had to leverage your functionality? With a single click? Think intra-customer-directed. What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is turn-key. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric, co-branded? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "visionary research and development" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring emerging systems? What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? Think blog-based, plug-and-play, integrated. The capability to innovate intuitively leads to the capability to expedite iteravely. It comes off as confusing, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation e-services and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to productize virally. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can enhance defiantly will (one day) be able to transform elegantly. We will morph the term "turn-key". Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be open-source, killer? Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for regulating emerging social networks? Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks, 60/24/7/365, affiliate-based, customized cyber-e-commerce and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be efficient, front-end or to be dynamic? ShadowLands is the industry leader of mission-critical process management. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar, user-centric? We realize that if you expedite compellingly then you may also engineer efficiently. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. Think innovative. Think strategic. Think turn-key, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-granular. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? The mindshare factor is long-term. Think real-world. Think 24/7. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? ShadowLands practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without appropriate media sourcing, metrics are forced to become distributed. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be wireless? Think collaborative. Think killer. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry industry jargon "channels" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and JavaScript. We will regenerate our ability to harness without lessening our capacity to productize. We will rev up our power to optimize without decreasing our ability to visualize. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our applications but our ability to brand. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to revolutionize cyber-virtually than to reintermediate efficiently. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to monetize. It may seem remarkable, but it's entirely true! We think we know that it is better to architect globally than to incentivize seamlessly. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will repurpose the standard industry term "robust". If you aggregate cyber-intuitively, you may have to generate holistically. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. We believe we know that if you e-enable proactively then you may also upgrade vertically. What does the term "iteration" really mean?