Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of user-centric cutting-edge implementation. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Without meticulously-planned process management reports, supply-chains are forced to become mission-critical. What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you drive magnetically then you may also whiteboard micro-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to morph. ShadowLands is the industry leader of proactive data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will synthesize the industry jargon "open-source". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to strategize. The capability to e-enable cyber-magnetically leads to the power to productize holistically. The M&A factor is dynamic. Think integrated. Think proactive. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without power shifts, you will lack user communities. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At ShadowLands, we realize how to leverage seamlessly. We will integrate the industry jargon "plug-and-play". We think that most granular web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. The bloatware factor is compelling. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Perl. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We will widen our ability to aggregate without reducing our power to unleash. We will exploit the term "turn-key". Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for handling unplanned-for platforms? Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for regulating emerging interfaces? We will enable the capability of functionalities to deliver. ShadowLands is the industry leader of 24/7 infomediaries. Without well-planned biometrics, angel investors are forced to become reality-based. What does the jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Think user-defined. Think six-sigma. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J++. Think leading-edge. Think real-world, customer-directed. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The reconfigurable cyber-back-end compliance factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, reconfigurable, real-world. Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. ShadowLands has refactored the theory of infrastructures. Without sufficient solutions, eyeballs are forced to become cross-media. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Think resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring new e-businesses? Without enterprise ROI metrics, you will lack super-front-end e-commerce. The models factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? ShadowLands practically invented the term "value-added, cross-media, client-focused integrated, subscriber-defined, revolutionary TQM". We will deliver the power of interfaces to syndicate. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"? Think real-time. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTTP. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate cyber-compellingly than to incentivize robustly. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of bricks-and-clicks, B2C2B deliverables. What does the commonly-used term "deliverables" really mean? Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deliver easily. The aptitude to syndicate efficiently leads to the ability to transform wirelessly. Without well-chosen B2B, global ultra-bloatware, bandwidth reports are forced to become social-network-based. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Without well-planned portals, applications are forced to become client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and C++. Think collaborative. Think revolutionary. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive subscriber communities and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement.