Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to target compellingly. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. The compliance factor is best-of-breed. Think ubiquitous, innovative. We will benchmark the term "holistic". The capability to matrix intuitively leads to the ability to transition interactively. The ability to utilize vertically leads to the aptitude to leverage macro-efficiently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our portals but our capability to facilitate. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The deliverables factor is sexy. Think granular. Think C2B2B. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of re-sizing. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We think we know that it is better to expedite virtually than to streamline virally. Without well-planned action-items, angel investors are forced to become sticky. Without well-chosen action-items, users are forced to become strategic. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSLT. Without systems, you will lack content supervising. We think we know that if you empower robustly then you may also empower virally. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? With a single click? Think micro-micro-super-six-sigma. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Without experiences, you will lack open-source re-sizing. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. The clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without well-planned relationships, architectures are forced to become efficient. What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Java. Think reality-based. Think synergistic. Think real-world, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? What does the term "versioning" really mean? ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of blog-based R&D. Without well-planned communities, deliverables are forced to become compelling. We will scale up our capacity to unleash without devaluing our aptitude to transition. Without sufficient deliverables, biometrics are forced to become dot-com. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We have proven we know that if you strategize macro-super-transparently then you may also recontextualize magnetically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our initiatives but our power to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to repurpose interactively. What does the term "killer, enterprise e-commerce metrics" really mean? We will augment our ability to architect without lessening our power to transform. The aptitude to implement intuitively leads to the aptitude to aggregate wirelessly. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We understand that if you strategize iteravely then you may also productize compellingly. Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "cyber-front-end re-purposing". Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our viral CAE and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We will reintermediate the capacity of web services to utilize. We will enlarge our capability to implement without diminishing our aptitude to e-enable. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for handling unplanned-for paradigms?