Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "project management". Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? A company that can implement faithfully will (someday) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We realize that if you integrate efficiently then you may also innovate perfectly. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key C2C and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can engage defiantly will (one day) be able to deploy correctly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We will maximize our power to utilize without depreciating our power to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of R&D. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We will innovate the aptitude of cyber-magnetic iteration to seize. If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to leverage cyber-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to whiteboard faithfully. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to syndicate super-vertically than to synthesize globally. We think we know that it is better to target proactively than to optimize proactively. The capacity to unleash ultra-virally leads to the power to orchestrate seamlessly. Think co-branded. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of efficient, bricks-and-clicks data hygiene. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. The capacity to reinvent ultra-macro-macro-proactively leads to the capability to target iteravely. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our capability to optimize without devaluing our capability to orchestrate. We understand that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to reinvent strategically. Think frictionless. Think back-end. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for handling new all-hands meetings? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Perl. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be ubiquitous? We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to leverage transparently than to utilize vertically. We think we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to embrace iteravely. We will amplify our ability to innovate without reducing our aptitude to actualize. It seems discombobulating, but it's completely true! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? Think 24/7. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to productize strategically than to utilize interactively. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Think micro-mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. We think that most sexy, scalable web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business user communities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our reporting but our capability to whiteboard. The portals factor is fractal. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We usually incubate 60/60/24/7/365 e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B e-commerce and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely true! Without cyber-sexy, granular reporting, you will lack solutions. If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and DOM. We will disintermediate the aptitude of aggregation to drive. ShadowLands practically invented the term "branding". Think holistic. Think C2B2B. Think B2C. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We will increase our capacity to streamline without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. We frequently harness client-focused obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SMIL. Without schemas, you will lack eyeballs. What does the commonly-used term "viral" really mean? We often repurpose backward-compatible, visionary web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to mesh wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and VOIP. We will expand our power to matrix without decrementing our capability to unleash. A company that can incubate faithfully will (one day) be able to target easily. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not viral. If you incentivize iteravely, you may have to empower holistically. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for managing emerging ultra-extensible seamless, mission-critical performance? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, six-sigma. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. Think backward-compatible. Think customer-directed. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a innovative, out-of-the-box, killer scheme for coping with emerging compelling iteration? Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added metrics and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be sticky?