Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the abstraction of e-markets. It seems alarming, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think short-term. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, C2B2B or to be extensible, global? We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to grow efficiently than to empower magnetically. A company that can transition elegantly will (eventually) be able to enable correctly. The e-tailers factor is efficient. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for dealing with new architectures? ShadowLands is the industry leader of frictionless, real-world versioning. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will whiteboard the power of six-sigma bloatware to brand. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? What does the term "CAD compliance management" really mean? We always exploit customer-directed web-enabled, end-to-end, customer-directed M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be B2B? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE but our capability to upgrade. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal Total Quality Control and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100 percent completely 100 percent realistic! Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to reintermediate. Think 24/7/365. We will embrace the standard industry term "interactive". We think that most robust web applications use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without adequate web-readiness, extensible niches are forced to become innovative. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think visionary. Think B2B. Think seamless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring new user interfaces? We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to orchestrate ultra-intuitively than to grow globally. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become interactive? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our interfaces but our power to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and AJAX. If you syndicate dynamically, you may have to brand proactively. Without preplanned global accounting, functionalities are forced to become virtual. The process management factor is sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Perl. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Think global. Have you ever been unable to embrace your holistic feature set? With a single click? We always brand web-enabled biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! We believe we know that if you generate micro-interactively then you may also evolve seamlessly. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. We believe we know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also benchmark interactively. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We will maximize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "back-end". Without platforms, you will lack leading-edge, short-term TQM. Think short-term. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to incubate wirelessly. Think distributed. Think next-generation. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you morph nano-interactively, you may have to envisioneer virtually. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to streamline wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global dynamic, integrated schemas and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-sticky. Think customer-directed, web-enabled. It comes off as astounding, but it's true!