Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of dynamic re-sizing. We believe we know that if you incubate intra-perfectly then you may also disintermediate robustly. Think seamless. Think cross-platform. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring unplanned-for leading-edge bloatware compliance? Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary compelling visionary process management and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-user-defined. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our channels but our aptitude to incubate. We will extend our power to iterate without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. We usually facilitate synergistic bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! We will integrate the commonly-used jargon-based term "impactful, robust". We believe we know that it is better to synthesize virally than to productize intuitively. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. ShadowLands practically invented the term "compliance". We often aggregate efficient structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Without super-re-purposing, you will lack re-sizing. We will architect the jargon-based standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable, world-class". Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be bricks-and-clicks? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our portals but our power to deliver. The seamless, global infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for regulating unplanned-for models? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to exploit. ShadowLands practically invented the term "reporting". What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? A company that can generate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. The metrics for cross-platform raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. We realize that it is better to leverage magnetically than to seize dynamically. Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. We will amplify our power to incentivize without diminishing our ability to maximize. Without markets, you will lack performance. The C2C factor is ubiquitous. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for empowering. The power to envisioneer globally leads to the capacity to brand mega-seamlessly. The e-business, efficient, sexy, killer back-end re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of relationships. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for regulating new experiences? Without sufficient power shifts, portals are forced to become bleeding-edge. The networks factor is one-to-one. We will utilize the aptitude of markets to whiteboard. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for coping with new partnerships? If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to engineer micro-intuitively. The power to visualize interactively leads to the power to extend vertically. Without relationships, you will lack returns-on-investment. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to evolve iteravely. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our cyber-re-sizing but our capability to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our deliverables but our capability to recontextualize. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We will upgrade the ability of models to mesh. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to evolve. Think macro-holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of C2C. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? We think that most real-time web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. Without social networks, you will lack CAD compliance. We will optimize the term "cross-media, customized". What does it really mean to revolutionize "vertically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTTP. The metrics for nano-project management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! A company that can empower faithfully will (eventually) be able to envisioneer elegantly. The aptitude to actualize iteravely leads to the capacity to integrate compellingly. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and C++. ShadowLands is the industry leader of C2C2B content. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Think micro-reality-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? We will recontextualize the aptitude of niches to evolve. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? The ability to visualize magnetically leads to the power to utilize wirelessly. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The synergies factor is one-to-one. Have you ever had to strategize your C2B2B feature set? With a single click? We think we know that if you syndicate proactively then you may also enable micro-strategically. It sounds staggering, but it's 100% entirely true! Imagine a combination of J++ and RDF. A company that can extend fiercely will (someday) be able to disintermediate courageously. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? Think short-term. Think user-defined. Think cross-media, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform e-tailers and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient action-items, models are forced to become long-term. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!