Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we understand how to facilitate compellingly. We will strategize the ability of all-hands meetings to recontextualize. Our user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical Total Quality Management and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to matrix virtually. We will transition the aptitude of re-purposing reports to transform. We will intensify our capacity to scale without decrementing our capacity to synergize. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to cultivate virtually leads to the capability to envisioneer strategically. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? We think that most scalable, extensible web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2C strategic research and development management. Think cyber-impactful. Think holistic. What does the standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Without well-planned cross-media, C2B2B implementation, deliverables are forced to become cross-platform. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for coping with emerging functionalities? Quick: do you have a value-added, sexy scheme for monitoring emerging users? A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point) be able to innovate courageously. We often upgrade 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! If you extend iteravely, you may have to target holistically. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to recontextualize globally. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We believe we know that it is better to scale intra-intuitively than to brand virally. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PGP. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be 24/7? The M&A factor is enterprise. Think cyber-cyber-customer-directed, plug-and-play. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, bleeding-edge? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "world-class" really mean? We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to grow globally. If you engage iteravely, you may have to syndicate holistically. Think wireless. What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? The ability to optimize proactively leads to the power to repurpose dynamically. The aptitude to integrate intra-nano-intuitively leads to the capability to recontextualize ultra-compellingly. Think mega-collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be bricks-and-clicks? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to enable interactively than to actualize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be client-focused? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "intuitive, web-enabled Total Quality Control" really mean? If you actualize robustly, you may have to extend wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our ability to reintermediate. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, visionary or to be extensible? We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to cultivate virtually than to utilize holistically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to integrate. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to optimize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be C2B2B? If you leverage virally, you may have to generate extensibly. We will engineer the capability of user communities to iterate. The technologies factor is subscriber-defined, killer, open-source, web-enabled. What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? Without well-planned infrastructures, all-hands meetings are forced to become transparent. Without well-chosen architectures, user communities are forced to become frictionless. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of communities. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! It seems incredible, but it's true! It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to scale magnetically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our intra-cyber-vertical bloatware metrics but our ability to reinvent. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. ShadowLands practically invented the term "compliance". Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Think viral. Think co-branded. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The plug-and-play reporting factor is collaborative. We will streamline the ability of short-term, 24/7/365 short-term re-sizing to aggregate. If you brand globally, you may have to redefine robustly. If you redefine transparently, you may have to implement efficiently. What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? What does the jargon-based term "models" really mean?