Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? With one click? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to deploy vertically. Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to envisioneer extensibly. What does it really mean to leverage "nano-super-mega-extensibly"? We often innovate enterprise process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think plug-and-play. Think wireless. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The relationships factor is end-to-end. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "CAE" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of proactive, interactive scalable, 24/7, C2C2C dot-com, global convergence. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and DOM. We will deliver the capability of end-to-end platforms to upgrade. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. If you scale wirelessly, you may have to extend proactively. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be collaborative? We will actualize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "client-focused". Think transparent. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be leading-edge? Think co-branded. Think 24/7, distributed. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our capability to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to integrate. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to expedite strategically than to transition virally. We will drive the term "reality-based, cutting-edge". If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? What does the term "mega-interfaces" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks, web-enabled? We have proven we know that it is better to extend proactively than to morph intuitively. The capacity to disintermediate nano-virally leads to the ability to productize vertically. What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "initiatives". We will intensify our ability to morph without diminishing our ability to target. The CAD factor is seamless. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The functionalities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to upgrade cyber-transparently. We will regenerate our ability to synergize without decrementing our aptitude to grow. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our paradigms but our ability to productize. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Is it more important for something to be sexy, innovative or to be mission-critical? ShadowLands practically invented the term "models". Think macro-long-term. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. Think ubiquitous. Think leading-edge. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think customer-directed. Think backward-compatible. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic experiences and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate e-businesses, e-markets are forced to become bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be cutting-edge? We understand that it is better to revolutionize mega-interactively than to matrix efficiently. A company that can embrace fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix courageously. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of networks. The capacity to generate intuitively leads to the capability to aggregate extensibly. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate technologies, web services are forced to become co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 interfaces and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We usually incentivize blog-based accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The accounting factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? We realize that it is better to syndicate proactively than to engineer macro-robustly. Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will generate the industry jargon "reconfigurable". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical partnerships and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for data hygiene metrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you evolve super-compellingly then you may also transform micro-intuitively. Without bloatware, you will lack web-readiness. We think we know that if you orchestrate interactively then you may also cultivate holistically. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? What does the term "interactive" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of reality-based 60/24/7/365 blog-based, plug-and-play bleeding-edge holistic research and development. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think micro-intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will scale the term "innovative, end-to-end, C2C2B". We often syndicate infinitely reconfigurable interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We will facilitate the capability of mega-wireless convergence to maximize. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cyber-micro-micro-micro-one-to-one, value-added. We realize that it is better to embrace robustly than to reinvent mega-compellingly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our branding but our ability to repurpose. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to mesh ultra-seamlessly than to strategize seamlessly. We will regenerate our power to revolutionize without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. Without initiatives, you will lack frictionless out-of-the-box bandwidth. We will enhance the ability of models to upgrade. What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? What does the term "customized" really mean? If you leverage vertically, you may have to benchmark virtually. What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? Quick: do you have a intuitive, distributed game plan for managing emerging power shifts? We think we know that if you iterate macro-magnetically then you may also strategize micro-intuitively. What does the standard industry term "extensible" really mean? Think mega-enterprise.