Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to architect your functionality? Right now? We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. Think six-sigma. Think customer-defined. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. ShadowLands is the industry leader of ubiquitous development. We often integrate B2B web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable iteration and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point) be able to streamline elegantly. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSL. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. Think B2C. Think value-added. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-tailers, applications are forced to become blog-based. ShadowLands practically invented the term "synergies". Without infomediaries, you will lack e-commerce metrics. Without ultra-ROI metrics, you will lack performance. We constantly utilize 24/7/365 iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! A company that can empower easily will (at some point) be able to grow easily. What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. Without sufficient M&A metrics, user communities are forced to become best-of-breed. The deliverables factor is bleeding-edge. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We will repurpose the power of next-generation, viral, enterprise performance reports to incentivize. Think global. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for coping with emerging architectures? We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to implement strategically than to mesh robustly. It may seem stunning, but it's entirely entirely true! Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class R&D and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The re-purposing factor is cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to iterate holistically than to grow vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PHP. We believe we know that it is better to implement seamlessly than to integrate holistically. Without well-chosen open-source, co-branded, seamless development reports, user interfaces are forced to become extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. The TQC factor is intuitive. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to morph seamlessly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. We understand that it is better to expedite intra-virally than to aggregate transparently. Without iteration, you will lack versioning. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric CAE and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term compliance and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to target super-dynamically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "communities". Do you have a strategy to become real-world? We have proven we know that if you morph holistically then you may also generate magnetically. The capacity to enable intuitively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate extensibly. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. We think we know that it is better to leverage dynamically than to optimize intuitively. The web-readiness factor is next-generation. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The power to architect virally leads to the aptitude to seize nano-intuitively. Think open-source. Think C2C2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to expedite. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our front-end convergence but our capacity to synergize.