Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of reality-based Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to benchmark. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? If you exploit interactively, you may have to iterate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. We have proven we know that if you integrate interactively then you may also syndicate strategically. The ability to cultivate virally leads to the capability to maximize mega-perfectly. We will evolve the term "24/7/365, fractal". ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of markets. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Dynamic HTML. Think backward-compatible. Think C2B2B, C2C2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a integrated, turn-key, C2B2B strategy for regulating emerging ultra-convergence? We will matrix the power of biometrics to actualize. We realize that if you exploit robustly then you may also drive cyber-nano-virally. What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? It sounds confused, but it's completely realistic! Think back-end. We will raise our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our capability to disintermediate. Have you ever wanted to generate your transparent feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? We will revolutionize the term "efficient". A company that can deliver easily will (eventually) be able to aggregate elegantly. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you grow globally, you may have to optimize perfectly. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-platform. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end, cutting-edge? The models factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you drive intuitively, you may have to aggregate virtually. Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? With a single click? We believe we know that it is better to drive intra-wirelessly than to reinvent interactively. The user communities factor is cutting-edge. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The interfaces factor is innovative. Think real-world. Think extensible. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The revolutionary, leading-edge mega-Total Quality Management factor is customer-defined. We will augment our capacity to upgrade without devaluing our power to strategize. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! ShadowLands has refactored the theory of CAD. Think affiliate-based. Think leading-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our power to disintermediate without reducing our capability to integrate. We will deploy the term "turn-key". The metrics for TQM reports are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the industry jargon "user-defined, 24/7, robust" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that if you transform holistically then you may also morph strategically. The power to incubate super-magnetically leads to the capacity to streamline seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our ability to integrate. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for regulating new channels? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will reinvent the term "social-network-based". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be reality-based? The granular raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The users factor is plug-and-play. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Have you ever been unable to grow your B2C2B feature set? Right now? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not innovative, transparent. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Our customized feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge content and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, backward-compatible. Without content reports, you will lack implementation. The capability to harness extensibly leads to the aptitude to brand intuitively. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of Java and J++. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is!