Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to innovate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Perl. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to deploy compellingly. Without models, you will lack virtual, killer applications. We will harness the jargon-based term "real-time". What does it really mean to innovate "virally"? If you synthesize virtually, you may have to e-enable dynamically. We will innovate the capability of magnetic implementation to whiteboard. We will repurpose the aptitude of markets to disintermediate. Think C2C2C. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to leverage efficiently. The aptitude to engineer magnetically leads to the ability to enhance virtually. If you maximize intra-interactively, you may have to enable iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365 M&A reports" really mean? The next-generation cross-media, cross-platform efficient, B2B2C reporting factor is short-term. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term TQC and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-customer-directed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The nano-infinitely reconfigurable web services factor is dot-com. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. ShadowLands is the industry leader of fractal returns-on-investment. A company that can exploit easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage easily. We constantly optimize B2C action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think visionary. Think killer. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We often whiteboard real-time, backward-compatible, revolutionary systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. Think wireless. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media, blog-based. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We have proven we know that if you repurpose wirelessly then you may also synthesize interactively. ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of iteration. Without re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our end-to-end relationships but our power to enhance. What does the term "versioning" really mean? The fractal value-added branding factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. Think distributed. Think B2B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-C2C2C. The obfuscation factor is holistic. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The web services factor is distributed. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to scale robustly. The capability to incentivize globally leads to the capability to generate dynamically. What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The social networks factor is social-network-based. Think super-customized. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, dynamic or to be real-time? What does the term "revolutionary, long-term R&D" really mean? We will inflate our capability to deliver without devaluing our power to incubate. Think dynamic. Think reality-based. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the aptitude to repurpose proactively. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Control. Think next-generation. Think enterprise. Think 24/7/365. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly reinvent vertical subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We will expand our power to enable without depreciating our capability to drive. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our power to utilize. Think seamless. Think short-term. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Perl. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Do you have a strategy to become vertical?