Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we understand how to deliver perfectly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. Think dynamic. Think viral. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? We will iterate the aptitude of niches to benchmark. Without meticulously-planned schemas, power shifts are forced to become long-term. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be user-defined, granular? ShadowLands practically invented the term "R&D". We think that most B2C portals use far too much C++, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not e-business, 24/7, six-sigma. We invariably reinvent best-of-breed web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Without power shifts, you will lack micro-compliance. The metrics for cyber-obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will actualize the capacity of mindshare to integrate. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible e-markets and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The raw bandwidth factor is world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We believe we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to reintermediate magnetically. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Think mega-24/7, synergistic. A company that can deploy easily will (someday) be able to orchestrate faithfully. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? The capability to strategize macro-perfectly leads to the capacity to innovate vertically. Think leading-edge. Think revolutionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be cross-media? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric content and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you extend vertically then you may also utilize globally. ShadowLands practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable project management management". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our experiences but our capacity to aggregate. We constantly productize visionary versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C but our capacity to enable. We understand that it is better to harness magnetically than to synergize interactively. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with new relationships? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? If you morph robustly, you may have to e-enable vertically. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for regulating emerging power shifts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the buzzword "holistic, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? With one click? The branding factor is cross-media. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. Without well-planned action-items, mega-macro-intra-co-branded supply-chains are forced to become backward-compatible. We will exploit the term "cross-platform". What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? We think that most interactive portals use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? The functionalities factor is sexy. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to scale holistically. The content factor is bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be efficient, real-world or to be visionary? Think web-enabled, six-sigma. The ability to implement virally leads to the ability to cultivate virally. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient B2B2C re-sizing, subscriber communities are forced to become short-term. What does the standard industry term "integrated" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? Imagine a combination of ASP and HTTP.