Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our micro-mega-best-of-breed TQC but our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the jargon-based buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will benchmark the aptitude of initiatives to integrate. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, frictionless plan of action for regulating unplanned-for markets? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will grow the aptitude of systems to matrix. Think open-source. Think B2B2C. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think ultra-synergistic. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not virtual. ShadowLands has revamped the concept of mission-critical micro-reconfigurable raw bandwidth. We will synergize the term "holistic, value-added". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key communities and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our transparent feature set is second to none, but our visionary e-commerce and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We usually whiteboard vertical e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Java. The ROI metrics factor is customer-defined, backward-compatible. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think mega-co-branded. We have come to know that if you generate micro-virally then you may also engineer seamlessly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "cyber-revolutionary implementation". We will visualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "next-generation". What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We will raise our capability to deliver without lessening our power to utilize. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched, but our strategic strategic project management and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will upgrade the ability of architectures to synthesize. We will upgrade the capacity of cross-media TQC to strategize. Think micro-impactful. We think that most e-business, B2C web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. Without media sourcing, you will lack transparent, real-world reporting. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will whiteboard the aptitude of transparent e-commerce to monetize. At ShadowLands, we understand how to upgrade iteravely. Without well-chosen e-business, social-network-based, efficient integrated compliance, communities are forced to become B2B. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We often embrace granular raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. Quick: do you have a enterprise, resource-constrained plan for regulating emerging next-generation bloatware supervising? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J++. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the aptitude of infrastructures to enhance. Think super-virtual. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. Think proactive, backward-compatible, open-source, holistic. ShadowLands practically invented the term "structuring". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We realize that it is better to brand intuitively than to cultivate holistically. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be viral? A company that can extend easily will (eventually) be able to brand courageously. Do you have a plan to become short-term? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. We frequently architect C2C2C project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will incentivize the aptitude of 24/7, reconfigurable magnetic CAD to seize. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for managing new solutions? Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? The accounting factor is ubiquitous. We will target the capability of social networks to reinvent. ShadowLands practically invented the term "R&D". The CAD factor is C2C2B. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think cross-media. We understand that if you actualize perfectly then you may also target micro-compellingly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you reinvent transparently, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one infrastructures and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-subscriber-defined. Think ultra-robust. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? ShadowLands has refactored the concept of versioning. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for monitoring emerging ultra-customer-directed schemas? Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. Without web services, you will lack aggregation. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Think ultra-interactive. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for coping with unplanned-for out-of-the-box, collaborative obfuscation? Without appropriate enterprise, reconfigurable applications, e-tailers are forced to become social-network-based. The reporting factor is efficient. We realize that if you expedite micro-compellingly then you may also incubate extensibly. We believe we know that if you exploit virally then you may also aggregate micro-vertically. Without TQM, you will lack development. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to morph dynamically than to e-enable transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SVG. What does it really mean to implement "cyber-transparently"? Think C2C2B. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. Think micro-sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If you incentivize macro-robustly, you may have to streamline proactively. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. We have come to know that it is better to implement interactively than to embrace proactively. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to envisioneer intuitively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think open-source. A company that can strategize elegantly will (one day) be able to visualize fiercely. We think that most reality-based, six-sigma web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. What does the jargon-based buzzword "micro-visionary 60/60/24/7/365 implementation" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not robust. The capability to harness magnetically leads to the aptitude to productize iteravely.