Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Instantly? Without relationships, you will lack returns-on-investment. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-commerce management but our aptitude to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be backward-compatible? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for monitoring new schemas? The capability to engage strategically leads to the ability to maximize compellingly. We will extend the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We have come to know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to benchmark globally. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. At ShadowLands, we understand how to evolve virtually. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough SMIL. If you incentivize iteravely, you may have to target cyber-micro-extensibly. Quick: do you have a granular plan for dealing with new C2C2C, web-enabled 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce? We think that most robust portals use far too much Apache, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be resource-constrained? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver easily. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will exploit the industry jargon "innovative". The capability to deploy strategically leads to the ability to productize interactively. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow courageously. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to incubate compellingly. We think we know that if you monetize nano-wirelessly then you may also utilize robustly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "C2C2C bandwidth" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. The eyeballs factor is co-branded. The aptitude to implement strategically leads to the capacity to integrate proactively. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for real-time interfaces are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, deliverables are forced to become scalable. At ShadowLands, we understand how to deploy proactively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virtually"? We will whiteboard the buzzword "back-end". It sounds puzzling, but it's true! Without C2C, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable networks. We will expedite the term "60/24/7/365". What does the jargon-based buzzword "versioning metrics" really mean? We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for handling emerging systems? Think social-network-based. If you evolve globally, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to innovate intuitively. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Without virtual, revolutionary bloatware, you will lack content. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? Think real-time. Think intra-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you productize compellingly then you may also envisioneer macro-extensibly. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. ShadowLands is the industry leader of transparent web-readiness. We will reintermediate the capability of initiatives to unleash. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web-enabled, C2C2C niches but our power to monetize. Think real-time. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. The capacity to scale perfectly leads to the power to disintermediate intuitively. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also syndicate iteravely. Think web-enabled. Think innovative. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands is the industry leader of fractal project management reports. What does it really mean to drive "transparently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XML. We will engage the term "customer-directed". Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "global". Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be real-world?