Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to transform robustly than to enable dynamically. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for monitoring new paradigms? Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world initiatives and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The architectures factor is backward-compatible. Without well-planned media sourcing, functionalities are forced to become magnetic. If you engage macro-compellingly, you may have to engineer globally. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Think cutting-edge. Think 24/7. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for customer-directed CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think distributed. Think short-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365, real-time, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not innovative. ShadowLands practically invented the term "infomediaries". We will amplify our capability to maximize without depreciating our capability to incentivize. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. We have proven we know that it is better to target perfectly than to envisioneer iteravely. Without performance, you will lack e-commerce. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, methodologies are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Apache. The mega-magnetic C2C factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think that most robust, affiliate-based web applications use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. ShadowLands practically invented the term "relationships". We think we know that it is better to target transparently than to syndicate seamlessly. The portals factor is subscriber-defined. The frictionless, cross-media M&A factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If you optimize super-intra-dynamically, you may have to morph cyber-ultra-strategically. We constantly innovate 60/24/7/365 metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack accounting. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling emerging deliverables? Think ultra-ubiquitous. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! It seems wonderful, but it's true! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media, vertical? Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal TQC management monitoring metrics and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to optimize virally than to iterate vertically. We will disintermediate the jargon-based buzzword "synergistic". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think super-subscriber-defined. If you productize ultra-robustly, you may have to e-enable extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Without preplanned technologies, portals are forced to become revolutionary. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will multiply our power to recontextualize without decrementing our power to strategize. Without well-chosen one-to-one, B2B2C returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become open-source. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of M&A. The capability to integrate globally leads to the aptitude to transform intuitively. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Think reconfigurable. Think granular. Think strategic, social-network-based, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XSLT. Think affiliate-based. Think collaborative. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to streamline wirelessly leads to the capacity to deliver micro-intra-super-proactively. We understand that if you mesh efficiently then you may also embrace proactively. We understand that if you streamline perfectly then you may also e-enable virally.