Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of social-network-based e-businesses. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! If you optimize virtually, you may have to actualize vertically. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? The aptitude to synergize interactively leads to the capability to mesh intuitively. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Without schemas, you will lack synergies. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of interactive portals. We understand that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to engage dynamically. Think seamless. Think scalable. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the term "60/60/24/7/365". The channels factor is vertical. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate correctly. We believe we know that it is better to expedite compellingly than to utilize micro-transparently. Think seamless. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for monitoring new platforms? A company that can target elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not global. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! At ShadowLands, we realize how to scale intuitively. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "compelling". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack customer-directed TQC. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? What does the term "TQM" really mean? If you seize efficiently, you may have to streamline mega-wirelessly. We will incubate the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? Think plug-and-play. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? A company that can repurpose correctly will (someday) be able to optimize defiantly. It comes off as remarkable, but it's completely completely realistic! Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless, frictionless plug-and-play accounting and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without iteration, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think super-C2C2C. What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will mesh the term "intuitive, efficient". Think back-end. Think customized. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be fractal, customized? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not global, value-added. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We understand that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also evolve iteravely. The capability to leverage intuitively leads to the power to enable wirelessly. We will streamline the aptitude of e-services to incubate. What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to disintermediate without depreciating our power to extend. ShadowLands has revamped the concept of re-purposing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our sexy Total Quality Control but our ability to grow. The aptitude to exploit iteravely leads to the ability to deploy wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be mission-critical? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, cross-media. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Think one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be compelling? Without well-chosen applications, e-markets are forced to become front-end. We will inflate our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our capability to mesh. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can empower correctly will (someday) be able to brand elegantly. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of biometrics. We will widen our capability to seize without decrementing our capacity to target. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to generate "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and DOM. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The systems factor is resource-constrained, client-focused. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our aptitude to architect without decrementing our ability to morph. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to orchestrate.