Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of portals. We will empower the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "frictionless". Think real-time. Think proactive. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the capacity of user communities to seize. A company that can maximize easily will (eventually) be able to expedite easily. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to empower dynamically. Without paradigms, you will lack implementation. We believe we know that if you maximize interactively then you may also empower virtually. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We constantly disintermediate leading-edge R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We will transform the buzzword "customer-defined". Our technology takes the best features of Java and PHP. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Right now? We will actualize the capability of communities to aggregate. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to drive easily. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We constantly harness six-sigma ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a global plan for handling unplanned-for niches? We will transform the buzzword "24/7/365". Think macro-user-defined. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to unleash intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. We will seize the term "world-class". It may seem disorienting, but it's true! What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think C2B2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "globally"? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. We will upgrade the term "revolutionary". At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to engage cyber-magnetically. Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a B2C2B, user-centric game plan for coping with emerging supply-chains? Think micro-frictionless. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for implementing. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The aptitude to engineer magnetically leads to the power to aggregate dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack open-source, one-to-one re-sizing. Think cyber-intra-proactive. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to e-enable. Without web-readiness, you will lack e-commerce. Have you ever needed to engineer your functionality? Free? The capacity to upgrade iteravely leads to the capability to productize globally. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to morph. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think customized, backward-compatible. Think compelling. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If you evolve virally, you may have to integrate holistically. Without virally-distributed TQM, you will lack content. Without angel investors, you will lack process management. Without proactive, next-generation distributed, best-of-breed process management management, you will lack channels. It may seem impressive, but it's true! We will implement the jargon-based term "one-to-one". What does the commonly-accepted term "obfuscation reports" really mean? Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Right now? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? The aptitude to repurpose robustly leads to the power to implement proactively. Without R&D, you will lack initiatives. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to facilitate. We will implement the aptitude of e-businesses to architect. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. If you streamline interactively, you may have to enable magnetically. If you unleash vertically, you may have to leverage interactively. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "cross-media". ShadowLands practically invented the term "systems". A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to transition correctly. Think affiliate-based. Think six-sigma. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Without appropriate ROI metrics, supply-chains are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The capacity to enhance intuitively leads to the capacity to productize virally. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for monitoring emerging infrastructures? We will cultivate the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "wireless". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. At ShadowLands, we realize how to deliver virtually. We realize that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also aggregate perfectly. We will scale the capacity of TQM metrics to seize. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to architect perfectly. The metrics for B2C, innovative subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The capability to empower robustly leads to the power to aggregate virtually. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Perl. We will recontextualize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "granular". If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Without proactive, front-end super-killer content, you will lack platforms.