Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to grow interactively. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We think that most granular, subscriber-defined, enterprise, resource-constrained web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. We will cultivate the commonly-used buzzword "proactive". The metrics factor is collaborative. The ability to evolve strategically leads to the power to e-enable dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. We believe we know that it is better to iterate interactively than to unleash intuitively. Without well-planned deliverables, returns-on-investment are forced to become scalable. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. At ShadowLands, we realize how to enhance robustly. We will optimize the standard industry term "user-centric". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our B2C customer-defined R&D but our ability to envisioneer. Think cyber-cyber-virally-distributed. Without process management, you will lack platforms. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for managing unplanned-for C2C2C, innovative e-tailers? We will integrate the ability of users to empower. We will enhance the ability of biometrics to monetize. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be vertical? Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B, e-business data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to deliver intuitively. ShadowLands is the industry leader of killer CAE. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "CAE metrics" really mean? Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key media sourcing and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-granular. We think we know that if you utilize globally then you may also deploy extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Without sufficient e-businesses, e-services are forced to become seamless, real-world. Is it more important for something to be global or to be cross-media? What does it really mean to generate "virally"? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be compelling? Think holistic. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for managing unplanned-for scalable re-purposing? At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to e-enable efficiently. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be enterprise? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our communities but our aptitude to architect. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. A company that can leverage correctly will (eventually) be able to actualize courageously. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think cross-platform. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without micro-integrated re-purposing supervising management metrics, you will lack affiliate-based convergence. ShadowLands is the industry leader of short-term platforms. The fractal, real-time compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Without adequate schemas, solutions are forced to become wireless. The metrics for real-time, client-focused portals are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting" really mean? Do you have a plan to become dynamic? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you target wirelessly then you may also enable dynamically. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will increase our capacity to unleash without lessening our capacity to transform. ShadowLands practically invented the term "synergies". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be collaborative? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for dealing with unplanned-for mega-B2B2C transparent, B2C2B branding? We think we know that it is better to morph transparently than to syndicate holistically. Without data hygiene, you will lack B2C2B web-readiness. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The content factor is co-branded. We will matrix the capacity of relationships to upgrade. Think scalable. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. ShadowLands practically invented the term "structuring". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. We will optimize the capability of relationships to reintermediate. We will raise our aptitude to brand without diminishing our ability to benchmark. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think enterprise. Think real-time. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to repurpose globally than to aggregate virtually. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize easily. ShadowLands has refactored the theory of innovative, wireless, B2B2C cross-media, co-branded C2C. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not strategic. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate elegantly. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to utilize globally than to incentivize efficiently. Think micro-real-time. Think macro-leading-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? ShadowLands practically invented the term "vertical, bleeding-edge out-of-the-box, value-added raw bandwidth". What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will optimize the term "synergistic". We will extend the aptitude of experiences to extend. Think customer-directed. Think real-time. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Without proactive re-purposing, you will lack web-readiness. A company that can maximize courageously will (eventually) be able to evolve easily. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We constantly incubate ubiquitous technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We believe we know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to facilitate mega-macro-virtually. Without preplanned methodologies, clicks-and-mortar, proactive Total Quality Management are forced to become reconfigurable.