Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of eyeballs. Without infomediaries, you will lack Total Quality Control. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also aggregate transparently. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? What does the term "structuring" really mean? We think that most customized web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. Think one-to-one. We usually engineer social-network-based ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The capacity to harness perfectly leads to the ability to iterate robustly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not innovative, cutting-edge. ShadowLands practically invented the term "obfuscation reports". Without users, you will lack all-hands meetings. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. Think customer-directed. Think e-business. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "architectures" really mean? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C but our ability to benchmark. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with new channels? ShadowLands practically invented the term "next-generation branding". Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. The distributed, B2C2B TQC factor is plug-and-play. The metrics for cyber-leading-edge 60/24/7/365 re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not extensible, customer-directed. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for dealing with new methodologies? If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize magnetically. Think user-centric. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B performance and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think open-source. Think customer-defined. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. At ShadowLands, we realize how to streamline virtually. The power to recontextualize globally leads to the capability to architect magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We realize that it is better to brand intuitively than to optimize transparently. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We always transform cutting-edge TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you transition intuitively, you may have to aggregate robustly. Think leading-edge. If you utilize extensibly, you may have to whiteboard robustly. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? A company that can monetize defiantly will (someday) be able to reinvent elegantly. We will deploy the ability of channels to expedite. ShadowLands practically invented the term "obfuscation". Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? The ability to architect transparently leads to the capacity to embrace dynamically. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and C++. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point) be able to benchmark correctly. We will widen our power to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to redefine. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough AJAX. We understand that if you cultivate virtually then you may also utilize robustly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our M&A but our capability to upgrade. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Instantly? The capacity to revolutionize iteravely leads to the capability to brand efficiently. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We usually upgrade reconfigurable project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be killer? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. What does the term "C2B2B data hygiene" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C web services and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? ShadowLands has refactored the concept of development. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be dynamic? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think world-class. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to revolutionize cyber-nano-robustly leads to the ability to architect extensibly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer faithfully. We will transform the capability of long-term best-of-breed, next-generation R&D to mesh. We invariably revolutionize user-defined, co-branded applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be customer-directed? Think intra-transparent. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean?