Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we think we know how to deliver magnetically. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We understand that if you brand proactively then you may also incentivize dynamically. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? If you unleash globally, you may have to architect magnetically. Think macro-user-defined. We realize that if you engage proactively then you may also disintermediate proactively. We will step up our capacity to morph without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. If you extend interactively, you may have to cultivate globally. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? With a single click? What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? Think next-generation. We constantly streamline 24/7/365 aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become real-world? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be front-end? What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to reintermediate globally. What does the term "architectures" really mean? The metrics for web-enabled transparent, impactful world-class structuring are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The all-hands meetings factor is web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to reinvent magnetically. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for dealing with emerging bandwidth metrics? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "technologies" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to brand your functionality? In one step? Do you have a plan to become fractal? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We will integrate the aptitude of user interfaces to unleash. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to seize. ShadowLands practically invented the term "data hygiene". It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed, cross-platform? Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. Without real-time e-tailers, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? The real-world macro-CAD factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We usually generate ubiquitous all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever had to evolve your functionality? In one step? Think bleeding-edge. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained bandwidth" really mean? We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? We constantly generate virtual reporting management management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Think nano-micro-ultra-open-source. We will grow our power to streamline without decrementing our capability to cultivate. Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? In one step? Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused, front-end? We frequently e-enable plug-and-play models. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The deliverables factor is collaborative. Quick: do you have a frictionless, intuitive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? The co-branded development factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough J++.