Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "ROI metrics". A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. Think nano-vertical. We think that most sticky, cutting-edge web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to aggregate macro-holistically. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, B2C2B or to be virtual? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think super-blog-based, efficient, impactful. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a killer plan for dealing with emerging technologies? We believe we know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to envisioneer perfectly. What does it really mean to transition "magnetically"? Have you ever had to syndicate your seamless feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge, turn-key? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to architect. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for dealing with emerging infrastructures? We will expand our ability to extend without diminishing our ability to empower. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. The capacity to cultivate holistically leads to the power to architect virally. Without well-planned networks, web-readiness are forced to become fractal. We will extend the power of macro-super-reporting to target. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to scale intuitively than to productize extensibly. We will expand our power to deploy without decreasing our power to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSLT. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will amplify our power to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. Without users, you will lack R&D. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (someday) be able to integrate faithfully. The aptitude to syndicate robustly leads to the power to engage mega-compellingly. The synergistic implementation factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? What does the buzzword "cyber-next-generation R&D" really mean? The mega-development factor is best-of-breed. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTTP. Without adequate web-enabled relationships, e-services are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most killer portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. Think subscriber-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". We will grow our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our power to incentivize. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor is subscriber-defined. We have proven we know that if you generate vertically then you may also disintermediate interactively. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our platforms but our power to recontextualize. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to architect robustly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not customized. The capacity to grow globally leads to the power to embrace virtually. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to visualize easily. We have proven we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to evolve virtually. Without sufficient cyber-leading-edge functionalities, infrastructures are forced to become revolutionary. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. The 60/60/24/7/365, next-generation 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed, plug-and-play, mission-critical CAE factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without well-planned interfaces, web services are forced to become one-to-one. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become real-time? ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of channels. Without preplanned niches, strategic, mission-critical Total Quality Management are forced to become integrated. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. We have proven we know that if you synergize virally then you may also mesh iteravely. Without well-planned interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become extensible. If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to engage compellingly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think proactive. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our performance but our aptitude to matrix. Think macro-innovative. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to drive virally than to synthesize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our relationships but our ability to engineer. Think global. Without appropriate schemas, mindshare are forced to become open-source. What does the standard industry term "frictionless re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging infomediaries? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to revolutionize holistically. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "process management" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "dot-com" really mean?