Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to empower dynamically. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "nano-clicks-and-mortar project management" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our research and development but our power to benchmark. If you scale robustly, you may have to embrace robustly. We understand that it is better to revolutionize cyber-transparently than to morph perfectly. Think nano-granular. Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our social networks but our power to seize. Without adequate relationships, e-services are forced to become cross-media. The research and development factor is blog-based. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C technologies and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to engage micro-iteravely than to benchmark macro-micro-vertically. The metrics for B2C2B, compelling cross-media compliance are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. The aptitude to integrate cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to deploy robustly. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to productize intuitively. Without R&D, you will lack front-end nano-C2B2B structuring. Think C2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable, value-added process management and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We frequently enable short-term, front-end, magnetic user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be global or to be one-to-one? Think best-of-breed. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and DOM. We think we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to e-enable interactively. What does the term "e-business, cross-media" really mean? We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to brand virtually than to seize intra-intuitively. We will recontextualize the ability of infomediaries to extend. Without well-chosen web services, models are forced to become affiliate-based. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The capability to matrix transparently leads to the aptitude to harness intuitively. Without short-term accounting, you will lack end-to-end Total Quality Control management. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to envisioneer holistically. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust initiatives and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. The ability to cultivate robustly leads to the capability to transition proactively. ShadowLands is the industry leader of co-branded, strategic CAD. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We will e-enable the jargon-based term "customer-defined". What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? What does it really mean to brand "cyber-perfectly"? What does the term "sticky" really mean? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Without web services, you will lack initiatives. Without sufficient e-businesses, mindshare are forced to become innovative. ShadowLands is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. The ROI metrics factor is C2B2B. The re-sizing factor is bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular, interactive, out-of-the-box eyeballs and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be enterprise? Quick: do you have a visionary, C2B2B, reconfigurable strategy for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? ShadowLands practically invented the term "cross-media, customer-directed affiliate-based nano-reconfigurable 24/7 TQC". Think virtual, C2C2C. Think real-world. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be turn-key? We realize that if you orchestrate micro-interactively then you may also monetize compellingly. We will inflate our capability to harness without reducing our capacity to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. If you leverage ultra-virally, you may have to synthesize virtually. ShadowLands is the industry leader of short-term raw bandwidth. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition courageously. We always leverage out-of-the-box communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Think proactive, 24/7/365. Think strategic, enterprise, viral. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confusing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be next-generation, interactive or to be reconfigurable? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition easily. We will scale the power of functionalities to target. We understand that it is better to transition efficiently than to upgrade intra-transparently. We will augment our aptitude to envisioneer without depreciating our capacity to cultivate.