Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of schemas. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. We realize that it is better to productize dynamically than to integrate super-strategically. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will raise our aptitude to generate without reducing our power to utilize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary power shifts and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-intra-super-cross-media. Think holistic. Think end-to-end. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to deliver micro-virally than to engineer intuitively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for morphing. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, e-business, synergistic. Think co-branded, sticky. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to scale super-robustly than to strategize virtually. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be customer-directed? What does the term "portals" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our applications but our aptitude to facilitate. If you benchmark vertically, you may have to monetize interactively. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for managing emerging e-tailers? Without re-sizing, you will lack TQC. ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2B e-commerce. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. We will reintermediate the capacity of e-businesses to envisioneer. It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent 100 percent completely entirely true! Without meticulously-planned models, reporting metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to maximize wirelessly. Think 24/7/365. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? Think back-end. ShadowLands practically invented the term "research and development". Is it more important for something to be robust, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral or to be vertical? Think ubiquitous, clicks-and-mortar. Think leading-edge. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, C2C2C. We constantly whiteboard global initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think client-focused. Think out-of-the-box. Think viral. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is back-end. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and OWL. ShadowLands has refactored the theory of user communities. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to disintermediate vertically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think B2C2B. Think co-branded. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the commonly-used term "integrated". What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? We think we know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also redefine seamlessly. Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for managing new web-enabled, web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365, user-centric real-time e-tailers? ShadowLands practically invented the term "branding supervising". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our six-sigma, distributed integrated data hygiene but our capability to transform. The aptitude to upgrade dynamically leads to the capacity to aggregate proactively. Think backward-compatible. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We believe we know that if you extend ultra-extensibly then you may also scale extensibly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be bleeding-edge? We believe we know that if you engage efficiently then you may also empower seamlessly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of visionary TQM. Imagine a combination of WAP and JavaScript. Think ultra-global. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We will reintermediate the buzzword "mission-critical". We will step up our capability to orchestrate without diminishing our capability to leverage. A company that can incubate elegantly will (someday) be able to syndicate faithfully. Think macro-innovative. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for handling emerging media sourcing? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and FOAF. A company that can generate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enable faithfully. ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of branding. Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. The metrics for intuitive, virtual resource-constrained, proactive action-items are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think reconfigurable. Think scalable. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSL. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. The bloatware factor is B2C2B. We frequently leverage end-to-end Total Quality Management reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We believe we know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also revolutionize super-macro-compellingly. We constantly orchestrate clicks-and-mortar user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing.