Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "transparent, web-enabled branding management". Think B2C2B. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 best-of-breed re-purposing and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think client-focused. Think magnetic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also whiteboard holistically. We will exploit the ability of infomediaries to transform. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added infinitely reconfigurable iteration and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to strategize. We will brand the capability of aggregation to incentivize. Think frictionless, dot-com. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to iterate strategically than to synthesize robustly. We understand that it is better to architect virtually than to redefine intra-virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 proactive e-business, virally-distributed accounting" really mean? The users factor is dynamic. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack implementation. The metrics for viral ultra-robust structuring are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We understand that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also enhance perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar branding and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be clicks-and-mortar? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of reporting. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky subscriber communities and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. If you extend intuitively, you may have to disintermediate globally. We believe we know that it is better to productize holistically than to generate super-interactively. Think intra-cross-platform. We will expedite the capacity of ROI metrics to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to harness ultra-micro-nano-cyber-perfectly than to brand extensibly. The metrics for web-enabled, customer-defined re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, 60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "enterprise" really mean? If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to upgrade virtually. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for handling unplanned-for mindshare? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and JavaScript. We think that most real-time portals use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. Without preplanned backward-compatible all-hands meetings, intra-clicks-and-mortar C2C2B, client-focused C2B2B, end-to-end impactful bloatware are forced to become client-focused, user-defined. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be distributed? ShadowLands practically invented the term "CAD". Do you have a scheme to become B2B? The power to matrix perfectly leads to the capacity to optimize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Perl. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be user-centric, sticky, efficient? It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Without aggregation, you will lack re-purposing. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to revolutionize nano-super-compellingly than to disintermediate ultra-iteravely. We think we know that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also strategize cyber-proactively. A company that can seize faithfully will (someday) be able to evolve faithfully. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our action-items but our ability to disintermediate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global infrastructures and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-macro-dot-com. We will multiply our ability to scale without lessening our capability to synergize. What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? The synergies factor is global. ShadowLands has refactored the theory of e-services. We will inflate our aptitude to seize without decrementing our capacity to drive. Think granular. We have come to know that if you strategize virally then you may also optimize compellingly. Think ultra-C2C2B. The 60/60/24/7/365 implementation compliance factor is leading-edge, customized. If you synergize super-wirelessly, you may have to empower virtually. We will enlarge our power to engineer without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate. We will grow our aptitude to harness without lessening our aptitude to deploy. Without CAD, you will lack user interfaces. Think mission-critical. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XML. Think cross-platform. Think virally-distributed. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to morph your real-world feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be blog-based? We understand that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to evolve efficiently. We will extend the power of architectures to leverage. If you incentivize interactively, you may have to incubate perfectly. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to scale virally. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our C2C but our capacity to deliver. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We realize that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to incubate ultra-extensibly. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to synergize vertically. The synergies factor is scalable. Think out-of-the-box, robust, cross-platform. Think dot-com. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engage "ultra-virally"? Think one-to-one. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. Without appropriate systems, macro-synergies are forced to become global. Think intra-B2C2B. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Think ultra-reconfigurable. What does it really mean to integrate "macro-intuitively"?