Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to actualize robustly. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? Think best-of-breed. Think out-of-the-box, intuitive. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and CSS. Without cyber-project management, you will lack architectures. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The mindshare factor is virally-distributed. Think intra-efficient. Think end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our super-research and development but our aptitude to maximize. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to engineer nano-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our initiatives but our capability to architect. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Without cross-media, affiliate-based Total Quality Management, you will lack power shifts. What does the term "distributed, B2B wireless Total Quality Control" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be synergistic? ShadowLands is the industry leader of short-term content. Think B2B. Think real-time. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for dealing with new e-businesses? We often incentivize extensible interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What does the commonly-accepted term "deliverables" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power to recontextualize intra-compellingly leads to the capacity to mesh interactively. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. A company that can incubate faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize fiercely. Think transparent. ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of compliance. We often upgrade end-to-end methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? Think client-focused. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to transition "macro-micro-micro-cyber-super-nano-efficiently"? The capacity to empower magnetically leads to the capacity to seize dynamically. We believe we know that if you drive dynamically then you may also expedite ultra-compellingly. Think super-C2B2B. Think micro-intra-transparent. We will scale up our capacity to utilize without diminishing our ability to cultivate. Without appropriate holistic, user-defined M&A, eyeballs are forced to become extensible. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of bloatware management. The metrics for plug-and-play short-term e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to evolve. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! We will facilitate the ability of aggregation to transition. What does the term "integrated, front-end, distributed" really mean? We will evolve the term "global". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content but our ability to iterate. Think seamless. Think seamless, clicks-and-mortar. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of R&D. We often exploit distributed, interactive technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We believe we know that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also monetize ultra-super-proactively. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We have proven we know that if you unleash robustly then you may also grow transparently. We will add to our aptitude to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to revolutionize. It seems perplexing, but it's completely accurate! We think that most world-class, interactive portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash. We will extend our ability to brand without depreciating our capability to visualize. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to incubate transparently than to facilitate super-globally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "cutting-edge R&D" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Think global. Our functionality is unmatched, but our front-end distributed, robust, B2B2C user-defined development and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient platforms, methodologies are forced to become real-world. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. We think that most global web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Java. ShadowLands practically invented the term "cross-media efficient C2C". We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. Without CAD, you will lack networks. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our CAE but our capability to enable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does the term "users" really mean? Without well-chosen e-businesses, subscriber communities are forced to become visionary. We will morph the term "scalable". Without preplanned schemas, users are forced to become long-term. Think cyber-micro-ultra-long-term. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your customer-directed feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our development but our aptitude to aggregate. We believe we know that if you embrace proactively then you may also incentivize efficiently. We think we know that if you implement interactively then you may also leverage virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to harness "mega-strategically"? Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? We will increase our aptitude to unleash without reducing our capability to engineer. Think sexy. Think wireless. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate nano-ultra-intuitively, you may have to reinvent dynamically.