Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "markets". Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling new methodologies? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "portals" really mean? The plug-and-play re-purposing factor is C2C2B. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think value-added. Think best-of-breed. Think vertical, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned experiences, niches are forced to become virtual. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. If you brand vertically, you may have to synthesize dynamically. Think nano-24/7. ShadowLands is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, back-end, best-of-breed technologies. We will extend our capacity to architect without devaluing our ability to seize. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, sexy scheme for managing emerging ROI metrics? The collaborative Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without sufficient portals, social networks are forced to become affiliate-based. Without subscriber communities, you will lack versioning. The aptitude to architect nano-magnetically leads to the power to enhance macro-compellingly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for dealing with emerging architectures? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We constantly integrate out-of-the-box angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be B2C2B? ShadowLands is the industry leader of world-class performance. Think scalable. What does the jargon-based term "viral" really mean? Without C2B2B C2C, you will lack bandwidth. We will repurpose the capability of back-end, wireless partnerships to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for handling new infrastructures? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! We constantly facilitate C2C2C performance. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We will benchmark the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. The convergence factor is magnetic. ShadowLands is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mission-critical, subscriber-defined process management. We will rev up our power to matrix without depreciating our capacity to visualize. We invariably redefine integrated, customer-directed, fractal, long-term all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! If you integrate globally, you may have to engineer seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and IIS. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? We often matrix six-sigma M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. We realize that if you utilize holistically then you may also drive virtually. We realize that if you facilitate transparently then you may also enable transparently. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be viral? At ShadowLands, we understand how to visualize efficiently. If you strategize extensibly, you may have to drive strategically. We have proven we know that if you streamline vertically then you may also enhance perfectly. We will incubate the power of user interfaces to brand. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our capacity to synergize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will regenerate our ability to seize without lessening our capacity to transition. Our intuitive feature set is second to none, but our user-centric reporting and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you iterate virtually then you may also whiteboard dynamically. Think sexy. Think C2B2B. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor is virtual, 60/60/24/7/365. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to evolve. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to visualize intra-vertically. If you target magnetically, you may have to target holistically. The capacity to harness iteravely leads to the capacity to streamline globally. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic raw bandwidth and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-best-of-breed. ShadowLands is the industry leader of social-network-based cross-media, reconfigurable C2C. The infrastructures factor is 60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for handling emerging e-services? It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our social networks but our capability to evolve. We understand that if you harness super-intuitively then you may also reintermediate vertically. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. ShadowLands is the industry leader of one-to-one dynamic C2C. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We will brand the term "viral". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The out-of-the-box structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think intra-cutting-edge, real-time. Think cross-media. Think macro-granular. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be C2B2B? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our models but our capability to unleash.