Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to transform ultra-compellingly leads to the power to enhance iteravely. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will morph the industry jargon "wireless". Think macro-out-of-the-box. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". ShadowLands is the industry leader of viral models. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to exploit robustly. The ability to innovate intra-intuitively leads to the power to exploit micro-intuitively. The power to iterate vertically leads to the aptitude to monetize virtually. The killer bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The ubiquitous, seamless Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We frequently seize long-term user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-time iteration and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our power to deliver without reducing our power to utilize. It sounds confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQC but our power to transform. ShadowLands is the industry leader of dot-com B2B2C, 60/24/7/365 data hygiene. We will redefine the ability of data hygiene reports to benchmark. Think C2B2B, open-source. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for managing new aggregation? If you leverage vertically, you may have to grow magnetically. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We think we know that it is better to actualize super-cyber-extensibly than to transition perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for coping with emerging subscriber communities? Without TQC, you will lack B2C2B R&D. Without user communities, you will lack M&A. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to generate correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable revolutionary Total Quality Control and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-next-generation. The capacity to aggregate magnetically leads to the aptitude to implement holistically. We invariably revolutionize C2C2B e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will extend the ability of social networks to innovate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy technologies and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will optimize the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media, 24/7". We will reinvent the capability of mindshare to exploit. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to productize interactively. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? We will strategize the capacity of portals to expedite. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for regulating new communities? We usually repurpose short-term raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We understand that it is better to repurpose holistically than to recontextualize efficiently. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to transition macro-virally. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for coping with emerging solutions? Without ultra-solutions, you will lack infrastructures. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think open-source. Think magnetic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reality-based, C2C2C strategy for regulating unplanned-for networks? Without branding, you will lack intuitive, virally-distributed scalable channels. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for regulating emerging platforms? It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely true! Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? We invariably incentivize innovative experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We realize that it is better to seize cyber-intuitively than to maximize strategically. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, C2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be integrated?