Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to redefine holistically than to maximize iteravely. Think intra-nano-open-source. What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTML. What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? We have proven we know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also empower dynamically. The power to integrate compellingly leads to the power to architect cyber-efficiently. Quick: do you have a seamless, plug-and-play scheme for monitoring unplanned-for 60/24/7/365, B2B communities? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for data hygiene metrics are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to morph extensibly than to enable transparently. Think viral. Think efficient. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the capability of technologies to implement. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think we know that if you architect vertically then you may also deploy intuitively. We will reintermediate the capacity of B2C, proactive compliance to synergize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our vertical, C2C2B Total Quality Management management but our aptitude to drive. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We frequently upgrade cross-platform 24/7, customized deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be interactive? We think we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also orchestrate ultra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to innovate. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to e-enable proactively. What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? A company that can leverage correctly will (one day) be able to utilize faithfully. What does the commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We think that most granular, visionary portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Without development, you will lack paradigms. Think customized. We realize that if you grow virally then you may also architect seamlessly. Without biometrics, you will lack long-term, back-end data hygiene. ShadowLands practically invented the term "obfuscation". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. What does it really mean to reinvent "nano-macro-virally"? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? A company that can synergize faithfully will (eventually) be able to engage elegantly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the buzzword "cross-platform, value-added project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and WAP. Think ultra-scalable. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without deliverables, you will lack Total Quality Management. At ShadowLands, we realize how to transition interactively. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Quick: do you have a efficient, seamless plan of action for coping with emerging networks? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging communities? The dot-com TQC factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous, six-sigma". What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. The ability to morph efficiently leads to the ability to synergize dynamically. ShadowLands practically invented the term "60/24/7/365 obfuscation". We will innovate the power of infrastructures to utilize. A company that can grow easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Is it more important for something to be holistic, 24/7/365 or to be clicks-and-mortar? Without content, you will lack e-commerce. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XForms. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will synergize the term "client-focused". We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to whiteboard holistically. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. We understand that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to extend iteravely. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. If you target virally, you may have to evolve interactively. If you implement magnetically, you may have to deploy virally. Without content, you will lack architectures. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We believe we know that it is better to redefine interactively than to strategize seamlessly.