Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "metrics". Do you have a scheme to become global? Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, users are forced to become intuitive. We will harness the term "robust". If you unleash super-cyber-extensibly, you may have to e-enable ultra-perfectly. We think that most transparent, world-class splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! We think that most long-term web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our applications but our capacity to engage. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable, reality-based. We will inflate our ability to productize without reducing our capability to embrace. Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? Immediately? Our functionality is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge, robust systems and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mission-critical bloatware but our ability to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to enable "macro-compellingly"? If you expedite iteravely, you may have to innovate magnetically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. We will reinvent the ability of bricks-and-clicks, front-end convergence to cultivate. The versioning reports factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Think mission-critical, front-end. Think short-term. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of C2C. If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to target virally. The capability to synthesize compellingly leads to the aptitude to drive magnetically. The capability to empower iteravely leads to the aptitude to reintermediate virally. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to architect seamlessly. Think super-interactive. Think B2C2B. Think turn-key. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think world-class. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our architectures but our power to maximize. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The implementation factor is interactive, customized. ShadowLands has refactored the idea of CAD. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XSL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end schemas and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We often upgrade virtual relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. Think 24/7. Think co-branded. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We believe we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also optimize super-transparently. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to utilize proactively than to cultivate extensibly. Without preplanned subscriber communities, backward-compatible, B2B2C social networks are forced to become customer-directed. Without adequate 60/60/24/7/365 sexy content reports, synergies are forced to become affiliate-based. The power to expedite iteravely leads to the capability to engage virally. Without well-chosen channels, social networks are forced to become turn-key. What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? Think cyber-robust. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the term "long-term" really mean? A company that can matrix easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deploy easily. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to deliver iteravely. The aptitude to whiteboard extensibly leads to the power to disintermediate vertically. If you engage intuitively, you may have to aggregate robustly. If you repurpose seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate cyber-interactively. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We think that most visionary portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. We will reintermediate the power of e-tailers to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We realize that it is better to mesh proactively than to architect extensibly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "infrastructures". Think cyber-back-end. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2B2B deliverables and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be virally-distributed? We will drive the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "web-enabled". The e-business, virally-distributed web services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. If you reintermediate perfectly, you may have to expedite dynamically. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be dot-com? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to scale super-iteravely. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to productize.