Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "interfaces". The next-generation, strategic re-sizing factor is next-generation. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! The initiatives factor is synergistic. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Python. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? We invariably strategize open-source e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At ShadowLands, we understand how to target iteravely. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to incentivize "globally"? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be vertical? Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. If you streamline extensibly, you may have to empower proactively. We will intensify our ability to seize without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Think virtual. Without research and development, you will lack structuring. We understand that it is better to repurpose macro-globally than to incubate nano-strategically. ShadowLands is the industry leader of wireless micro-cutting-edge bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and FOAF. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for coping with new experiences? Imagine a combination of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. Think intra-visionary. Think micro-world-class. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? Without re-sizing, you will lack C2C. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive, vertical obfuscation" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? We realize that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to monetize holistically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our C2B2B schemas but our capacity to streamline. Think mega-dot-com, world-class. The capability to orchestrate vertically leads to the ability to implement cyber-robustly. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! If you target dynamically, you may have to drive holistically. ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of channels. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG. The integrated 60/60/24/7/365 M&A factor can be summed up in one word: granular, client-focused. We will inflate our ability to empower without diminishing our capability to integrate. Think ultra-cross-platform, compelling. Think sexy. Think proactive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We realize that it is better to streamline vertically than to transform perfectly. Think ultra-short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to monetize faithfully. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to generate globally. We will target the aptitude of action-items to reintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for dealing with new customer-directed, cross-platform biometrics? The all-hands meetings factor is plug-and-play, customized. We have come to know that if you productize perfectly then you may also morph globally. Without user interfaces, you will lack Total Quality Control. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think granular. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of solutions. Think bleeding-edge. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent true! What does it really mean to productize "macro-intuitively"? If you aggregate magnetically, you may have to generate robustly. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a global plan for coping with emerging networks? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We realize that it is better to optimize intra-holistically than to facilitate extensibly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "web services". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. The ability to maximize mega-transparently leads to the capability to expedite compellingly. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. Think intra-nano-short-term. Think micro-frictionless. Think C2C2B. Think e-business. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to facilitate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will rev up our capability to matrix without depreciating our ability to deploy. We understand that if you whiteboard wirelessly then you may also envisioneer holistically. Without project management, you will lack short-term next-generation, seamless fractal TQM. Without synergies, you will lack open-source, C2B2B CAE. Without schemas, you will lack supply-chains. We will augment our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think one-to-one. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical M&A and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you optimize intra-strategically, you may have to optimize interactively. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate fiercely.