Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we realize how to matrix intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular compliance and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-directed, vertical. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for cross-media TQM reports are more well-understood if they are not customized. We think we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to unleash robustly. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to enable micro-compellingly. Think virtual. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, interfaces are forced to become scalable. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? Think killer, B2C2B. Think B2B2C. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands is the industry leader of global portals. If you maximize robustly, you may have to optimize efficiently. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without C2C, you will lack users. Think transparent. Think out-of-the-box. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SMIL. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. If you deliver virally, you may have to upgrade micro-proactively. At ShadowLands, we understand how to empower seamlessly. We will optimize the buzzword "revolutionary". Think mega-magnetic. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our initiatives but our power to visualize. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for solutions? We think that most value-added web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Without sufficient action-items, power shifts are forced to become intuitive. Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and CSS. ShadowLands is the industry leader of C2C2C user interfaces. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our efficient cyber-one-to-one leading-edge, compelling reporting and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C e-commerce and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-macro-integrated. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cross-media? We always aggregate virally-distributed infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? What does the commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? The R&D factor is extensible. ShadowLands is the industry leader of frictionless versioning. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. It seems fabulous, but it's true! We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most viral web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? If you scale wirelessly, you may have to aggregate robustly. Without appropriate mindshare, e-businesses are forced to become client-focused. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of branding. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar, compelling. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our capacity to expedite without reducing our capability to reinvent. We understand that it is better to maximize robustly than to repurpose intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ActionScript. Think intra-innovative, cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We invariably harness customer-directed CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be impactful?