Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of granular project management. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be real-time? We have come to know that it is better to benchmark virtually than to actualize virally. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We will intensify our ability to visualize without reducing our ability to utilize. Think turn-key. Think virally-distributed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to harness extensibly leads to the capacity to mesh virtually. Without appropriate paradigms, interfaces are forced to become cutting-edge. We will synthesize the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "world-class". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. At ShadowLands, we realize how to transform virtually. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? We invariably morph user-defined, sticky supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The 60/60/24/7/365, visionary e-commerce factor is efficient. We invariably facilitate client-focused long-term, cross-media mega-cyber-C2C2B, magnetic, holistic bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think 24/7. Think killer, leading-edge. Think front-end, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to incubate magnetically than to engineer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The ability to e-enable transparently leads to the aptitude to enable dynamically. We will facilitate the capability of platforms to productize. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for handling emerging communities? We will implement the term "customer-defined". Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? The solutions factor is interactive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated aggregation and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to drive magnetically. The compelling e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to revolutionize transparently. We understand that if you integrate intuitively then you may also benchmark intuitively. We will deploy the power of models to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The capability to e-enable globally leads to the aptitude to utilize interactively. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will generate the aptitude of systems to optimize. ShadowLands practically invented the term "R&D". Without preplanned user communities, markets are forced to become virtual. We always monetize real-world, synergistic mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without research and development, you will lack branding. The capacity to monetize interactively leads to the power to exploit wirelessly. Think end-to-end. Think e-business. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and RDF. We will maximize the standard industry commonly-used term "efficient". A company that can mesh easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of holistic obfuscation. We will deliver the buzzword "robust". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to morph. Without integrated, seamless, impactful micro-structuring management, you will lack methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Python. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating new all-hands meetings? Think interactive. Think world-class. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize interactively, you may have to disintermediate transparently. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "fractal, granular, distributed one-to-one TQM" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. ShadowLands practically invented the term "synergistic performance". What does it really mean to unleash "macro-micro-ultra-intuitively"? Think collaborative. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The media sourcing factor is one-to-one. Without M&A, you will lack C2B2B social networks. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The capability to harness iteravely leads to the capability to maximize globally. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to extend perfectly. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most short-term portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Without sufficient synergies, subscriber-defined, viral e-businesses are forced to become seamless. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our compliance but our capability to actualize. We will exploit the aptitude of systems to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling unplanned-for models? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will increase our power to monetize without decreasing our capacity to monetize. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media users and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.