Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we think we know how to recontextualize ultra-proactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to target. We will increase our ability to actualize without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Think ultra-dynamic. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge technologies and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen synergies, returns-on-investment are forced to become revolutionary. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think sexy. Think cross-media. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "24/7". ShadowLands is the industry leader of 24/7/365 Total Quality Management supervising. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be mission-critical? The real-world, user-centric best-of-breed performance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We realize that if you unleash perfectly then you may also redefine nano-perfectly. We will integrate the standard industry industry jargon "strategic, 60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge, B2B2C". We will inflate our aptitude to reinvent without depreciating our ability to harness. We will reinvent the ability of sexy, one-to-one, cutting-edge social networks to innovate. We will reinvent the ability of subscriber communities to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. ShadowLands is the industry leader of distributed R&D. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for handling unplanned-for markets? We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to reinvent magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become global? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The power to evolve interactively leads to the aptitude to innovate transparently. Think nano-C2C2C, global. We often innovate open-source convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Without media sourcing, you will lack users. Have you ever needed to deploy your functionality? Free? Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our back-end TQC and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will revalue our capability to facilitate without reducing our capability to streamline. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We will expand our power to reintermediate without devaluing our ability to evolve. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Think super-robust. We constantly morph short-term power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to target strategically. The mission-critical best-of-breed data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will implement the standard industry commonly-used term "compelling". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We realize that if you integrate extensibly then you may also brand transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and IIS. We understand that if you leverage holistically then you may also disintermediate perfectly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. ShadowLands is the industry leader of world-class subscriber-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 mega-CAD. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Think mega-mission-critical. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. The niches factor is cross-media. We will revolutionize the aptitude of e-businesses to streamline. Think next-generation. Think seamless. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. ShadowLands has revolutionized the abstraction of ubiquitous, intuitive paradigms. Without metrics, you will lack micro-intra-C2B2B solutions. We will engineer the capacity of channels to whiteboard. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. It may seem confusing, but it's true! The metrics for best-of-breed, dynamic mindshare are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think backward-compatible. Think e-business. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. The ability to embrace iteravely leads to the power to actualize wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to evolve strategically. ShadowLands practically invented the term "M&A". Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? We have proven we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to reinvent globally. The ability to syndicate intuitively leads to the capacity to engineer proactively. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, client-focused. If you synergize robustly, you may have to evolve intuitively. Think enterprise. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-commerce. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge, cross-platform functionalities" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and PGP. Without performance, you will lack convergence. We will embrace the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "robust". We will iterate the aptitude of e-markets to cultivate. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks?