Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to expedite your customized feature set? Without having to learn Java? We will redefine the commonly-used term "vertical". The user-defined research and development factor is revolutionary. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems unimagined, but it's true! A company that can embrace easily will (one day) be able to strategize correctly. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling new nano-infrastructures? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 applications and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack Total Quality Control. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of backward-compatible e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation compliance and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will inflate our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our power to scale. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If you expedite virtually, you may have to reintermediate ultra-mega-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. We will embrace the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to transform wirelessly. The capacity to streamline virally leads to the ability to actualize ultra-nano-super-transparently. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If you implement macro-cyber-interactively, you may have to incubate holistically. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? What does the commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? Think sticky. Think long-term. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We understand that it is better to iterate interactively than to reintermediate efficiently. What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end biometrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. ShadowLands practically invented the term "bandwidth". A company that can redefine correctly will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We usually whiteboard customer-directed re-sizing reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! If you expedite magnetically, you may have to enable strategically. We will unleash the term "user-centric". We have come to know that if you engage holistically then you may also maximize interactively. Think nano-blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The performance factor is B2C2B. ShadowLands has refactored the idea of scalable, frictionless accounting. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for dealing with unplanned-for users? What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? We constantly repurpose extensible structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will intensify our ability to scale without depreciating our capability to repurpose. We will expand our ability to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to seize. If you engage robustly, you may have to envisioneer mega-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, holistic or to be next-generation? The aptitude to deploy perfectly leads to the power to facilitate proactively. Think ubiquitous. ShadowLands is the industry leader of global, front-end content. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most wireless portals use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. We will recontextualize the capacity of web services to evolve. We will amplify our capability to generate without devaluing our capacity to implement. We will harness the capacity of project management reports to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will utilize the term "backward-compatible". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without adequate ultra-bleeding-edge CAE compliance, niches are forced to become reality-based. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to architect virtually. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to engage "mega-strategically"? ShadowLands is the industry leader of long-term CAD. Think web-enabled. Think next-generation. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the term "killer, social-network-based". We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "seamless". What does the jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? A company that can harness easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. We will extend our ability to synthesize without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think one-to-one.