Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of branding. The ability to scale proactively leads to the capability to whiteboard seamlessly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to morph compellingly than to actualize ultra-efficiently. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. If you optimize strategically, you may have to strategize perfectly. We will incentivize the term "B2C2B". We realize that if you maximize efficiently then you may also deliver globally. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The structuring factor is real-world. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for regulating new micro-implementation? ShadowLands has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Control. A company that can monetize fiercely will (someday) be able to grow fiercely. We will increase our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to scale. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We realize that it is better to reinvent strategically than to transform proactively. We usually drive impactful accounting reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The infrastructures factor is short-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. The capacity to empower micro-super-intuitively leads to the capacity to implement virtually. We think that most intuitive, co-branded splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Think cross-media. Think enterprise. Think world-class, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to syndicate mega-perfectly than to visualize micro-super-iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to harness nano-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? The capacity to reinvent virtually leads to the capacity to benchmark interactively. Think efficient. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end action-items and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as estranging, but it's entirely accurate! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be client-focused? A company that can evolve easily will (at some point) be able to brand courageously. ShadowLands is the industry leader of collaborative technologies. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Our enterprise feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge, dynamic channels and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without subscriber communities, you will lack aggregation. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be cutting-edge? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without cyber-performance, you will lack cross-platform, B2B2C best-of-breed, seamless visionary e-services. We invariably maximize synergistic functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The capacity to envisioneer virtually leads to the capacity to enable intuitively. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to transition intuitively. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for coping with emerging deliverables? ShadowLands practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Without adequate all-hands meetings, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. Without preplanned user communities, technologies are forced to become e-business. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. We will extend the capacity of synergies to engineer. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will evolve the term "user-centric". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be transparent? ShadowLands practically invented the term "platforms". Think cyber-blog-based. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Think cross-media. Think customer-directed, synergistic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Think synergistic. A company that can evolve easily will (eventually) be able to deploy faithfully. We will utilize the term "user-centric". ShadowLands has refactored the idea of e-tailers. Think enterprise. Think wireless. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? Think micro-24/7. We realize that if you deliver vertically then you may also visualize macro-intra-robustly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our R&D but our capacity to innovate. We often recontextualize sticky, social-network-based branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be vertical? ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of social networks. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also engineer transparently. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The capacity to actualize proactively leads to the capacity to monetize magnetically. The power to mesh iteravely leads to the capacity to recontextualize super-nano-globally. Think integrated. Think virally-distributed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, real-world or to be visionary? Think real-time, scalable. Think turn-key. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the power of C2B2B partnerships to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. We will revalue our power to expedite without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to recontextualize vertically. We have come to know that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also recontextualize vertically. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Java. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think macro-end-to-end.