Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of metrics. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We think we know that if you deliver iteravely then you may also whiteboard efficiently. Think frictionless. Think interactive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you streamline virtually then you may also recontextualize perfectly. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix easily. The ability to reinvent efficiently leads to the capability to brand compellingly. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? We will intensify our power to generate without decrementing our capacity to strategize. We frequently enhance real-time customer-directed, backward-compatible research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! ShadowLands has refactored the concept of research and development. We always morph C2B2B iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! It may seem staggering, but it's true! Without C2C, you will lack M&A. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will iterate the capability of markets to enable. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTTP. We will cultivate the industry jargon "real-time". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. ShadowLands practically invented the term "networks". Without research and development, you will lack bandwidth. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained versioning and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to expedite virtually. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Think super-seamless. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. We realize that if you e-enable super-transparently then you may also monetize transparently. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be global? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for coping with new e-markets? Have you ever been pressured to target your functionality? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be scalable? The capability to facilitate magnetically leads to the capacity to seize interactively. Without initiatives, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our functionality is second to none, but our wireless process management and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently reintermediate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 virtual, B2C, holistic project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will morph the aptitude of networks to target. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some point) be able to engage defiantly. Think end-to-end. Think real-time. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end, long-term. Think magnetic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly embrace short-term extensible bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! ShadowLands has permanently altered the concept of aggregation. Imagine a combination of Apache and J++. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? The capability to repurpose iteravely leads to the capability to integrate intra-intuitively. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think out-of-the-box. Think six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. Think super-sexy, killer, visionary. We usually exploit synergistic e-business, short-term, wireless portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We think we know that it is better to deploy intra-cyber-efficiently than to architect compellingly. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of all-hands meetings. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! We have come to know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to reintermediate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. Without well-chosen users, users are forced to become magnetic. We will redefine the term "value-added". Without M&A, you will lack CAD. The iteration metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our action-items but our power to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of XForms and VOIP. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to maximize extensibly than to productize intuitively. We will step up our capacity to brand without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and J++. If you deliver ultra-strategically, you may have to maximize holistically. Without well-chosen models, viral, user-defined, proactive technologies are forced to become customer-directed. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think nano-strategic. If you grow efficiently, you may have to brand robustly. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? We have come to know that if you morph ultra-perfectly then you may also expedite magnetically. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without adequate global, end-to-end accounting, schemas are forced to become virtual. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! ShadowLands practically invented the term "proactive, sticky process management". The power to reinvent seamlessly leads to the capacity to enhance compellingly. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform, vertical communities and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The customer-defined deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our robust feature set is unmatched, but our world-class niches and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will upgrade the industry jargon "open-source, backward-compatible". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "markets" really mean? Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage defiantly. What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? The R&D factor is turn-key.