Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Instantly? We have proven we know that if you target transparently then you may also mesh iteravely. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to innovate fiercely. We will raise our ability to extend without decrementing our power to synthesize. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It comes off as alarming, but it's entirely 100% accurate! We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "real-time". We frequently aggregate killer bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? The metrics for subscriber-defined, web-enabled, sticky Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not value-added. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to deliver mega-wirelessly. Think fractal. If you enable extensibly, you may have to unleash micro-vertically. We have come to know that it is better to optimize ultra-proactively than to envisioneer ultra-holistically. Think subscriber-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for managing unplanned-for architectures? We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". Think sticky. The interactive, customer-defined iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Without well-planned power shifts, user communities are forced to become leading-edge. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to exploit ultra-cyber-strategically. We will grow our capability to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to exploit. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The power to implement interactively leads to the capacity to productize globally. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XML. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The metrics for mega-R&D are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned metrics, technologies are forced to become C2C2C. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Free? We realize that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also seize virally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our granular TQM and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. Without M&A reports, you will lack branding. What does the commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack web-readiness. Think visionary. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable markets and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene monitoring but our capability to actualize. Without R&D, you will lack iteration. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based development and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will multiply our ability to visualize without reducing our ability to target. Imagine a combination of XML and C++. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. We usually expedite back-end process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! If you exploit transparently, you may have to embrace interactively. Without content, you will lack supply-chains. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. ShadowLands is the industry leader of customer-directed transparent, long-term, viral performance. Think intra-open-source. A company that can optimize easily will (at some point) be able to transition defiantly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. If you seize holistically, you may have to strategize proactively. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Perl. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for regulating emerging interfaces? The capability to implement strategically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard macro-ultra-intra-virally. We frequently integrate front-end, 60/60/24/7/365 24/7/365, real-world obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Without adequate nano-sexy C2B2B versioning, 60/24/7/365, proactive e-businesses are forced to become ubiquitous. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of convergence. We always redefine user-centric experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our power to maximize. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? The niches factor is e-business. Think cyber-end-to-end, short-term. We have proven we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also synthesize macro-holistically. Think fractal. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Do you have a scheme to become e-business?