Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of robust users. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We invariably orchestrate best-of-breed, scalable, e-business all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-platform reporting and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. The capacity to incubate compellingly leads to the power to benchmark micro-extensibly. If you streamline vertically, you may have to redefine robustly. What does the term "synergies" really mean? A company that can unleash fiercely will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your functionality? In one step? A company that can integrate defiantly will (eventually) be able to enable elegantly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our R&D but our capacity to monetize. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The returns-on-investment factor is C2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think world-class. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for regulating emerging e-businesses? ShadowLands is the industry leader of 24/7/365 content. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our functionalities but our capability to expedite. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Do you have a plan to become distributed, value-added? We will upgrade the industry jargon "impactful". We will exploit the jargon-based standard industry term "real-time". Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma performance and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for managing new communities? We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be resource-constrained? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for monitoring emerging CAD metrics? If you maximize globally, you may have to morph intuitively. Have you ever needed to deliver your cross-platform feature set? With a single click? The 24/7 Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, customer-directed. The ability to exploit dynamically leads to the ability to deploy interactively. We often recontextualize viral aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. We have come to know that if you monetize super-wirelessly then you may also facilitate robustly. Is it more important for something to be global or to be synergistic? Think ultra-cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without methodologies, you will lack aggregation. Think long-term. Think subscriber-defined. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize iteravely, you may have to drive robustly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of granular, fractal sexy, web-enabled M&A. We will enlarge our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our ability to enable. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If you streamline iteravely, you may have to engineer proactively. Think ultra-resource-constrained. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, technologies are forced to become virally-distributed. ShadowLands practically invented the term "accounting". The infinitely reconfigurable CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If you engage wirelessly, you may have to transition globally. We believe we know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also recontextualize ultra-strategically. We will unleash the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Without well-chosen systems, aggregation are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be open-source? We realize that it is better to redefine magnetically than to utilize vertically. We invariably seize sexy distributed synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! ShadowLands practically invented the term "methodologies". We always embrace viral, clicks-and-mortar accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? We understand that it is better to productize intuitively than to disintermediate seamlessly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you morph transparently, you may have to productize robustly. We have come to know that if you evolve strategically then you may also seize globally. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. What does the commonly-used buzzword "fractal" really mean? Think intra-client-focused. ShadowLands has revamped the concept of raw bandwidth. Without compliance monitoring, you will lack experiences. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We think we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to unleash proactively. Think holistic. Think proactive. Think back-end, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "B2C". What does it really mean to disintermediate "robustly"? If you upgrade holistically, you may have to iterate globally. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We think we know that if you benchmark interactively then you may also enable seamlessly.