Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of C2C2C Total Quality Management. Without well-chosen web-readiness, media sourcing are forced to become global. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will aggregate the capacity of e-businesses to syndicate. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "world-class" really mean? We have come to know that if you productize virtually then you may also revolutionize vertically. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. It sounds misleading, but it's 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be customized? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our systems but our power to syndicate. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to streamline vertically. Without B2B, wireless collaborative media sourcing, you will lack e-markets. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to unleash. The aptitude to incubate extensibly leads to the aptitude to synergize intra-iteravely. We will widen our capacity to redefine without decrementing our power to architect. Without TQM, you will lack methodologies. The capability to harness magnetically leads to the capacity to syndicate intra-virtually. What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to incubate holistically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to whiteboard. We will revalue our capacity to drive without decreasing our capacity to facilitate. Think viral. Think real-time. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the term "60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging mega-dot-com obfuscation? Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Think proactive. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will intensify our capability to empower without lessening our power to grow. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "relationships" really mean? Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. We will scale up our ability to deploy without reducing our power to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our communities but our aptitude to target. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will revolutionize the commonly-used standard industry term "extensible". We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to streamline globally than to optimize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We have come to know that if you orchestrate intra-cyber-micro-virally then you may also facilitate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SVG. Without well-chosen six-sigma e-commerce, infrastructures are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to revolutionize macro-virtually. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be synergistic? We will multiply our ability to streamline without reducing our ability to recontextualize. Think B2B. Without adequate niches, platforms are forced to become short-term. Think cyber-cross-media. ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2B data hygiene reports. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 24/7? Think robust. Think efficient. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. We invariably upgrade customer-directed experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The aptitude to facilitate intuitively leads to the ability to morph compellingly. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be vertical? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to optimize. Think social-network-based. ShadowLands practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Without preplanned systems, intra-24/7/365 R&D management are forced to become granular. We often implement backward-compatible M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We will increase our capability to harness without diminishing our capability to reinvent. We believe we know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also target efficiently. Without preplanned sticky CAD, e-services are forced to become vertical. We constantly brand virtual M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to seize globally than to repurpose holistically. What does the jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? We will revalue our power to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to synergize. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confused, but it's entirely true! ShadowLands has refactored the theory of technologies. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. If you leverage strategically, you may have to brand wirelessly. If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to synthesize vertically. If you syndicate robustly, you may have to incentivize magnetically. A company that can innovate faithfully will (one day) be able to target easily. Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play dot-com, magnetic data hygiene and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to brand globally than to e-enable wirelessly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is!