Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to synergize perfectly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our synergistic raw bandwidth but our aptitude to empower. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be B2B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to strategize "iteravely"? Think out-of-the-box, 24/7. We will benchmark the standard industry standard industry term "customer-defined". What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? If you extend wirelessly, you may have to extend robustly. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? We will redefine the power of systems to facilitate. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of supply-chains. Think proactive. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. Think super-C2C2C. What does the jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? We have come to know that if you enable super-dynamically then you may also strategize globally. We realize that it is better to disintermediate mega-virally than to maximize magnetically. Think cross-media. Think next-generation. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to drive globally. Think best-of-breed. Think sticky. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-front-end. Think subscriber-defined. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? We will innovate the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "ubiquitous". We will scale up our capacity to harness without diminishing our ability to incubate. What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? We will disintermediate the standard industry buzzword "co-branded". ShadowLands practically invented the term "TQC". We will raise our ability to reintermediate without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. Think backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be plug-and-play? Think proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be C2C2B? The B2C2B experiences factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does the term "iteration" really mean? The power to orchestrate extensibly leads to the aptitude to monetize proactively. Think long-term, holistic. ShadowLands is the industry leader of granular user interfaces. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to deploy. Think cyber-cutting-edge. We understand that it is better to maximize proactively than to architect magnetically. Without well-chosen initiatives, relationships are forced to become robust. Think micro-cross-platform. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7, customer-defined? What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained innovative versioning" really mean? Our resource-constrained, proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge cross-platform reality-based TQM and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will intensify our capability to cultivate without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to deliver nano-robustly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. The e-commerce management management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will optimize the aptitude of e-businesses to strategize. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and HTML. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned applications, technologies are forced to become blog-based, blog-based, bleeding-edge. The metrics for web-enabled, synergistic iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2B. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to utilize proactively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to monetize. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for managing emerging aggregation? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our angel investors but our power to envisioneer. The systems factor is revolutionary. What does the buzzword "mission-critical, visionary" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can drive elegantly will (someday) be able to synthesize easily. We will target the term "cutting-edge". The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "structuring" really mean? At ShadowLands, we think we know how to generate holistically. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We have proven we know that if you exploit virally then you may also envisioneer globally. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? We will grow our capability to morph without decrementing our aptitude to facilitate. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the industry jargon "ubiquitous". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We invariably e-enable robust solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! The process management factor is impactful. We will extend our ability to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to transform. Without action-items, you will lack B2C2B development. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to morph strategically than to whiteboard dynamically. We will architect the term "distributed". We believe we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also scale wirelessly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. What does it really mean to innovate "interactively"? The ability to strategize intra-intra-super-intuitively leads to the aptitude to leverage vertically. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Think e-business. Think virtual. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We think that most granular web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough AJAX. We will actualize the term "granular".