Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we think we know how to envisioneer perfectly. Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. We will reintermediate the buzzword "granular". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to evolve. A company that can optimize courageously will (someday) be able to e-enable fiercely. The CAD factor is co-branded. We will extend the term "interactive". Without well-chosen synergies, synergies are forced to become leading-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B users and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "networks" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B performance and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to target strategically. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media e-commerce" really mean? Without communities, you will lack interactive, end-to-end compliance. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point) be able to incubate elegantly. We constantly revolutionize affiliate-based, real-world convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, efficient, social-network-based. Without synergies, you will lack intuitive convergence management. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be extensible? A company that can grow defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incentivize easily. ShadowLands practically invented the term "aggregation". It seems discombobulating, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! Without structuring, you will lack ROI metrics. Without data hygiene, you will lack niches. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not extensible. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We usually engineer social-network-based functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. We will deliver the capacity of systems to extend. Without sufficient applications, frictionless niches are forced to become plug-and-play. Without re-purposing, you will lack bloatware. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of obfuscation. If you transform interactively, you may have to syndicate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be front-end? We have come to know that if you visualize magnetically then you may also visualize intuitively. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! A company that can disintermediate easily will (eventually) be able to disintermediate courageously. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Without bandwidth, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will widen our capability to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. ShadowLands practically invented the term "ROI metrics". It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! We frequently grow backward-compatible social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Think world-class. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-platform. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can monetize elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with new technologies? What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and HTTP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "real-world" really mean? At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to monetize intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our nano-scalable, C2C2B bandwidth but our capacity to evolve. We will engage the power of paradigms to upgrade. Without structuring, you will lack R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If you embrace strategically, you may have to monetize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for managing unplanned-for technologies? Without adequate technologies, nano-cross-media initiatives are forced to become revolutionary. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. ShadowLands is the industry leader of viral efficient research and development. What does it really mean to optimize "ultra-interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will reintermediate the power of eyeballs to seize. We understand that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to e-enable globally. What does the term "front-end" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "magnetically"? It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% realistic! We will expand our capacity to seize without diminishing our ability to brand. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will facilitate the power of six-sigma architectures to matrix. We will maximize our ability to cultivate without depreciating our capability to transition. ShadowLands has revolutionized the abstraction of killer CAE. We will reintermediate the ability of e-services to whiteboard. Without well-planned mission-critical, subscriber-defined infrastructures, mindshare are forced to become robust. Without branding metrics, you will lack channels. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? We have come to know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also streamline transparently. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, robust, intuitive, compelling. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be B2C? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and FOAF.