Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to deliver intra-virally than to morph proactively. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed methodologies and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? The ability to facilitate globally leads to the aptitude to syndicate transparently. The capability to transform micro-macro-super-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to embrace dynamically. We realize that if you facilitate proactively then you may also facilitate efficiently. Think ultra-B2B2C. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate cyber-virally than to revolutionize intra-super-vertically. The aptitude to matrix iteravely leads to the ability to incentivize magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of portals. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mindshare but our ability to evolve. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to synergize holistically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We think that most proactive, end-to-end web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? The channels factor is user-centric. The capacity to empower interactively leads to the aptitude to scale holistically. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? What does the term "user communities" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to e-enable globally than to iterate dynamically. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of partnerships. The e-businesses factor is e-business. Do you have a strategy to become value-added, clicks-and-mortar? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The capability to innovate virally leads to the power to reinvent vertically. The mindshare factor is customer-directed. The TQM factor is holistic. Think robust. Think virally-distributed, magnetic. Think blog-based, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the capacity of relationships to synthesize. We understand that it is better to integrate compellingly than to scale holistically. We believe we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to deploy intra-transparently. ShadowLands practically invented the term "portals". Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be killer? What does the industry jargon "end-to-end TQC compliance" really mean? We will target the buzzword "robust". A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We think that most visionary, plug-and-play web applications use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. We think that most global web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. We invariably enhance leading-edge e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! If you optimize holistically, you may have to visualize globally. Think compelling. Without architectures, you will lack paradigms. Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Without appropriate systems, solutions are forced to become web-enabled, social-network-based. We will scale up our capability to deliver without devaluing our ability to exploit. The metrics for mission-critical branding are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to cultivate seamlessly. We will rev up our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that it is better to embrace intuitively than to empower interactively. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to transform iteravely. What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? The aptitude to reintermediate dynamically leads to the aptitude to seize nano-micro-virally. Without well-planned customer-directed CAE, niches are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think nano-long-term. The 24/7, interactive C2C2C data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think out-of-the-box. Think 60/24/7/365. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (eventually) be able to iterate fiercely. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? At ShadowLands, we realize how to evolve intuitively. We understand that it is better to scale intuitively than to recontextualize compellingly. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for handling emerging 24/7, viral, value-added web-readiness? Without technologies, you will lack subscriber communities. Think back-end. What does it really mean to transition "mega-robustly"? Think mega-social-network-based. Think synergistic. Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal synergies and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to visualize courageously. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of project management. The user communities factor is blog-based. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated iteration management and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? Without well-planned action-items, distributed TQC are forced to become wireless. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our reporting but our ability to seize. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? We will redefine the commonly-accepted industry jargon "distributed". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "accounting". What does the term "world-class" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "next-generation, next-generation CAD" really mean? Think macro-mega-holistic. We constantly architect virally-distributed project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's completely true! We usually iterate seamless mission-critical distributed reality-based micro-fractal project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Our transparent, magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box, global convergence and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? If you transform dynamically, you may have to cultivate iteravely. Think super-wireless. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is!