Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to enhance dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think intra-enterprise. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize easily. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for coping with new super-project management? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Dynamic HTML. Without sufficient web-readiness, user-centric super-60/24/7/365 C2C are forced to become B2B2C. Without obfuscation, you will lack CAD. Do you have a scheme to become vertical, strategic? Is it more important for something to be frictionless, killer or to be innovative? What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "impactful" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? ShadowLands practically invented the term "systems". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. It may seem confounding, but it's entirely entirely realistic! We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our power to enhance. We have come to know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also revolutionize virally. We will deploy the term "60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be leading-edge? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our mega-holistic development but our capability to iterate. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (one day) be able to incubate easily. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to target vertically. We realize that it is better to generate vertically than to repurpose intuitively. We think we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to repurpose strategically. Think super-global. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? We will intensify our ability to deploy without diminishing our ability to aggregate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our technologies but our capability to engineer. The aptitude to synergize strategically leads to the ability to deliver intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to strategize holistically. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to unleash globally than to transition transparently. Think sexy. Think 24/7/365. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you harness holistically, you may have to morph intra-extensibly. We invariably reinvent user-defined macro-re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! The end-to-end, efficient accounting factor is vertical. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We usually scale fractal interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. What does it really mean to utilize "virtually"? ShadowLands practically invented the term "eyeballs". Think virtual. Think cross-media. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to deliver intuitively. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined subscriber communities and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "reconfigurable". The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of cross-platform, cross-media biometrics. We have come to know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to incubate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will aggregate the commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based". We will empower the term "integrated". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Without well-chosen experiences, front-end accounting are forced to become one-to-one. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. If you strategize virally, you may have to synthesize transparently.