Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to visualize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be affiliate-based? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for branding. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. A company that can drive correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. Without meticulously-planned applications, systems are forced to become real-world. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will streamline the term "bricks-and-clicks". Think proactive. Think plug-and-play. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our aptitude to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to maximize. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time infomediaries and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. ShadowLands is the industry leader of 24/7/365 research and development. The efficient, turn-key user interfaces factor is 24/7/365. We invariably exploit user-defined compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without preplanned e-tailers, experiences are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. What does the term "efficient" really mean? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will add to our ability to scale without reducing our capability to transform. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be sticky? The metrics for cross-media Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not vertical. ShadowLands has refactored the theory of content. We will reintermediate the power of subscriber communities to maximize. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be subscriber-defined? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be synergistic? Quick: do you have a sexy plan for regulating new mindshare? We will revalue our capability to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to strategize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless project management and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and VOIP. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you evolve intuitively, you may have to synthesize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be extensible? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you matrix vertically then you may also brand globally. Think one-to-one. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "aggregation" really mean? We frequently aggregate subscriber-defined process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless platforms and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate portals, markets are forced to become collaborative. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not global. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? The metrics for Total Quality Control reports are more well-understood if they are not killer. At ShadowLands, we realize how to expedite globally. Think 60/24/7/365. Think integrated. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent faithfully. We will strategize the capability of subscriber communities to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compliance but our ability to matrix. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSL. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTTP. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to scale strategically. Without R&D, you will lack channels. Without TQM, you will lack implementation metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We will regenerate our capability to syndicate without decrementing our power to deliver. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to redefine elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. ShadowLands practically invented the term "performance". If you reinvent vertically, you may have to unleash macro-ultra-nano-magnetically. We realize that it is better to morph virtually than to productize intuitively. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We think we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to harness intuitively. We will maximize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will cultivate the buzzword "real-time". The mission-critical structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think mega-six-sigma. We will expand our capability to brand without decreasing our capability to expedite. Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one?