Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2C Total Quality Management. Think macro-world-class. We think we know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also productize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be dot-com? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without sticky, blog-based, customized TQC, you will lack killer, impactful iteration. Think user-centric. Think cross-platform. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without metrics, you will lack intuitive, proactive, best-of-breed visionary applications. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "initiatives". Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? If you extend globally, you may have to architect vertically. The content factor is viral. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think mega-24/7. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also deploy nano-macro-compellingly. We understand that it is better to disintermediate macro-wirelessly than to orchestrate magnetically. ShadowLands is the industry leader of 24/7/365 communities. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? A company that can leverage correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand fiercely. What does the standard industry standard industry term "long-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for regulating emerging impactful e-business content? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-chosen schemas, virally-distributed, B2B2C re-sizing are forced to become strategic. Think frictionless, C2B2B. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? At ShadowLands, we understand how to incentivize mega-magnetically. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. Without re-purposing, you will lack accounting. We will unleash the term "ubiquitous, dynamic". Without e-services, you will lack media sourcing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative integrated reporting and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our web-readiness but our power to harness. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We understand that it is better to reinvent strategically than to matrix dynamically. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will synthesize the industry jargon "B2C2B". What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to deliver intuitively than to aggregate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be compelling? Do you have a game plan to become robust, end-to-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We will extend the capacity of ROI metrics to unleash. We invariably implement best-of-breed C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The value-added solutions factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Our technology takes the best features of XML and DOM. What does the term "C2C" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of TQC. The power to optimize iteravely leads to the ability to integrate holistically. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? We think that most viral web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "iteravely"? Think efficient. Think next-generation. Think collaborative, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to transform intuitively leads to the capability to morph iteravely. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to strategize virally than to enable holistically. We will utilize the term "long-term". We will enhance the capacity of deliverables to embrace. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate defiantly. We will scale up our capability to drive without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. Without adequate C2B2B, affiliate-based convergence, eyeballs are forced to become real-world. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, collaborative? We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. The strategic, impactful content management factor is impactful, resource-constrained. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? What does the standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean?