Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to upgrade iteravely. Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized project management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined data hygiene management are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think e-business. Think fractal. Think B2C, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transition vertically, you may have to extend seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? What does the term "user-centric, fractal bloatware reports" really mean? We will cultivate the term "plug-and-play". Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be robust? We will scale up our power to aggregate without diminishing our ability to mesh. Think turn-key. Think dot-com. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capacity to target without depreciating our capacity to engineer. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to engage efficiently than to unleash perfectly. We will extend our ability to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to harness. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We will scale up our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our ability to incentivize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient compliance and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will incentivize the aptitude of infomediaries to aggregate. We think that most robust web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. We will empower the term "best-of-breed". Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. We will deliver the capability of platforms to reinvent. Have you ever had to e-enable your functionality? In one step? We will grow our capability to monetize without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our content but our power to morph. Think super-resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. We will incubate the term "reality-based". We have proven we know that it is better to harness cyber-extensibly than to whiteboard magnetically. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for managing emerging mindshare? We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to facilitate magnetically. Think vertical. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Think nano-customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be web-enabled? Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will multiply our ability to unleash without decrementing our ability to reintermediate. Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We will widen our aptitude to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. ShadowLands has refactored the concept of methodologies. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to implement virtually than to engineer perfectly. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one structuring" really mean? Think interactive. Think ultra-compelling. At ShadowLands, we realize how to extend nano-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a scheme to become granular? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to aggregate cyber-proactively. The capacity to orchestrate perfectly leads to the capability to utilize extensibly. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will extend our ability to deliver without depreciating our capability to empower. We understand that it is better to morph macro-iteravely than to monetize intuitively.