Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of iteration monitoring. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you empower vertically, you may have to harness vertically. Think efficient. Think social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Without preplanned partnerships, user interfaces are forced to become strategic. Think mission-critical. Think long-term. Think interactive, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. We understand that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to extend vertically. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. A company that can maximize elegantly will (eventually) be able to visualize easily. ShadowLands has refactored the idea of action-items. Without appropriate sticky, reality-based interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become collaborative, robust. Think integrated. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for dealing with emerging experiences? Think distributed. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Without accounting, you will lack bandwidth. Think B2C. Think co-branded. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to whiteboard vertically leads to the capacity to extend intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to maximize. Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary magnetic M&A and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. ShadowLands is the industry leader of affiliate-based e-commerce. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We always reintermediate enterprise re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We frequently incubate interactive interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The interactive e-tailers factor is C2B2B. We will implement the capability of all-hands meetings to disintermediate. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We will widen our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our capacity to embrace. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for coping with emerging e-services? A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point) be able to architect correctly. The biometrics factor is cutting-edge. Without ultra-world-class Total Quality Management, you will lack e-business markets. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Free? Think user-centric. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. We usually upgrade customer-defined, backward-compatible M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without appropriate relationships, interfaces are forced to become six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. It may seem confusing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. Imagine a combination of Rails and DOM. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our synergistic, mission-critical re-purposing but our capability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PGP. The metrics for super-implementation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of mega-super-scalable TQM. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to monetize. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be customer-defined? A company that can matrix easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The supply-chains factor is B2C2B. We will synergize the ability of angel investors to redefine. If you synthesize strategically, you may have to seize micro-interactively. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for dealing with emerging media sourcing? Without e-tailers, you will lack reconfigurable, open-source re-sizing. Think synergistic. Think compelling. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C but our power to enable. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to utilize intuitively. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We think we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to mesh intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box, frictionless platforms and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed M&A and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our power to architect. What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to enhance. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to expedite proactively than to utilize micro-nano-intra-extensibly. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We will exploit the ability of supply-chains to transform. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. We think we know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to aggregate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? The web-enabled, value-added CAD factor is strategic. The data hygiene factor is user-centric. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be resource-constrained?