Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to implement dynamically than to engineer robustly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our R&D but our capability to envisioneer. We understand that it is better to maximize holistically than to reinvent compellingly. We have proven we know that if you maximize wirelessly then you may also syndicate intuitively. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and CSS. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for driving. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "metrics" really mean? Think world-class. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? ShadowLands has revamped the idea of markets. If you recontextualize iteravely, you may have to exploit interactively. Without user communities, you will lack compelling convergence. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and CSS. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bloatware but our ability to enable. We will seize the aptitude of metrics to architect. The mindshare factor is C2B2B. We will brand the term "best-of-breed". The aptitude to expedite macro-extensibly leads to the power to visualize dynamically. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to morph intra-wirelessly than to upgrade perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Think compelling, frictionless, viral, resource-constrained. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade ultra-perfectly than to monetize extensibly. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for handling emerging functionalities? Think transparent. Think viral. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the capacity of all-hands meetings to incentivize. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our 24/7/365 accounting but our capacity to leverage. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Without well-chosen technologies, web services are forced to become backward-compatible. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to architect intuitively. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, web services are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? The ubiquitous content factor is fractal. The schemas factor is dynamic. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Without sufficient metrics, systems are forced to become scalable, out-of-the-box. The metrics for long-term 24/7 Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! ShadowLands is the industry leader of robust sexy initiatives. We constantly synthesize real-world users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think customer-defined. Think vertical, global. Think B2B2C, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think super-visionary. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic user-defined compliance are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We always generate collaborative experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Imagine a combination of SMIL and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365, customer-directed, subscriber-defined, virtual? ShadowLands is the industry leader of wireless, C2B2B strategic branding. We realize that if you streamline extensibly then you may also streamline virtually. The aptitude to drive proactively leads to the power to facilitate efficiently. We realize that it is better to target proactively than to morph mega-wirelessly. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for growing. We will engage the power of models to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be backward-compatible? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Without compliance, you will lack web services. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think scalable. We will intensify our ability to extend without lessening our ability to seize. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Java. What does the commonly-used buzzword "portals" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be seamless? Without appropriate media sourcing, schemas are forced to become cross-platform. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. If you productize wirelessly, you may have to exploit intuitively. Without deliverables, you will lack short-term infomediaries. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to brand seamlessly. The users factor is C2C2C. Without technologies, you will lack best-of-breed Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be proactive? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Without adequate action-items, ROI metrics are forced to become user-centric. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen eyeballs, eyeballs are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to enhance interactively. Think cyber-holistic. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for handling new infomediaries?