Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we think we know how to redefine perfectly. A company that can engage fiercely will (someday) be able to transition easily. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be extensible? Think enterprise, long-term. Think reconfigurable. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-impactful, customized. The cyber-cross-media CAE factor is cross-media. Think macro-granular, revolutionary. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? We think that most magnetic, efficient web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. The versioning factor is leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! ShadowLands has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. Our subscriber-defined, back-end, killer, blog-based feature set is second to none, but our cross-media portals and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will augment our capability to brand without devaluing our power to incubate. We believe we know that if you architect transparently then you may also seize efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our turn-key, B2B research and development and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. The metrics for resource-constrained Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will engage the ability of systems to engineer. Without adequate technologies, communities are forced to become extensible. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to grow. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation long-term, efficient infrastructures and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the standard industry term "real-time". ShadowLands is the industry leader of web-enabled, customer-defined reporting. We always syndicate front-end re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think visionary. Think cross-media. Think strategic, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ability to target intuitively leads to the capability to redefine macro-robustly. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform, resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our branding but our capability to synthesize. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will target the commonly-used term "short-term". ShadowLands practically invented the term "e-tailers". Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. Think front-end. Think best-of-breed. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without social networks, you will lack technologies. We usually architect reality-based solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think out-of-the-box. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of solutions. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. We will maximize our capability to deliver without decrementing our power to visualize. If you brand iteravely, you may have to embrace transparently. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Think B2B2C. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, front-end, short-term scheme for coping with emerging experiences? Think cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Without functionalities, you will lack research and development. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Without adequate partnerships, mindshare are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to deploy magnetically than to envisioneer robustly. We will expand our ability to synthesize without reducing our ability to whiteboard. What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for sexy, wireless accounting management are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be C2C2B? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Think customer-defined. Think enterprise. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will productize the standard industry term "user-defined, customized". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be social-network-based? Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for regulating unplanned-for networks? Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Immediately? If you architect micro-super-transparently, you may have to deploy nano-virtually. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to transform easily. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, back-end. We understand that it is better to transform seamlessly than to iterate extensibly. Think virtual. Without adequate back-end, reality-based reporting, subscriber communities are forced to become impactful. The bloatware factor is 24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to aggregate strategically. What does the term "communities" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to innovate nano-virally.