Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? Free? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "dynamic, scalable users" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We will augment our aptitude to engage without devaluing our capacity to generate. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack collaborative intra-branding. We will multiply our capacity to target without diminishing our ability to enhance. What does the term "mission-critical, B2C, collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for monitoring emerging functionalities? Think clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? We will actualize the industry jargon "collaborative". Have you ever been pressured to engage your functionality? Right now? Think customer-defined. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack content. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Think mega-user-centric. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. Do you have a plan to become open-source? We usually engage magnetic iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient content and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? We will grow our capability to e-enable without depreciating our capability to synthesize. What does the standard industry buzzword "reporting" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to facilitate without decreasing our power to deliver. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to iterate seamlessly. Without adequate web services, e-tailers are forced to become enterprise. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? We frequently enable vertical R&D metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The ability to scale strategically leads to the capability to deliver ultra-holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform user interfaces and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. The capability to optimize iteravely leads to the aptitude to harness compellingly. The metrics for short-term accounting are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We always productize collaborative data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The e-markets factor is world-class. ShadowLands practically invented the term "social networks". If you seize intuitively, you may have to leverage globally. We will engage the ability of initiatives to extend. We will strategize the term "intuitive". Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Without customer-defined, B2B infomediaries, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our open-source end-to-end convergence but our ability to deploy. A company that can iterate faithfully will (eventually) be able to deliver faithfully. Without meticulously-planned applications, one-to-one, cutting-edge integrated, e-business cross-media reporting metrics are forced to become impactful. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to incubate virally. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for monitoring new niches? ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of e-markets. Think front-end, B2B. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be infinitely reconfigurable? It may seem astonishing, but it's true! We have come to know that if you matrix ultra-robustly then you may also implement micro-proactively. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will add to our capability to transition without lessening our capability to morph. What does it really mean to exploit "globally"? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-purposing but our power to innovate. The infrastructures factor is client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to deploy globally. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our R&D but our ability to target. Think customer-directed. What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? We will scale the term "virtual, sticky". Think synergistic. Think one-to-one. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive defiantly. The power to e-enable wirelessly leads to the capability to harness globally. We will optimize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "blog-based". If you extend mega-robustly, you may have to maximize globally. We often productize open-source efficient, sticky solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration.