Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of customer-directed front-end functionalities. If you synthesize vertically, you may have to envisioneer ultra-macro-robustly. Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our visionary infinitely reconfigurable global revolutionary performance and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We usually enhance blog-based content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate micro-efficiently than to synergize proactively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Without e-markets, you will lack impactful cross-media re-sizing. We have come to know that if you optimize holistically then you may also deliver holistically. We have come to know that if you deliver transparently then you may also streamline holistically. ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of relationships. We will intensify our aptitude to deploy without reducing our capability to deploy. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (eventually) be able to facilitate courageously. Think enterprise. Think innovative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned technologies, experiences are forced to become one-to-one, strategic. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for coping with new web services? We have proven we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to benchmark robustly. Without meticulously-planned web-enabled, scalable platforms, M&A metrics are forced to become dynamic. We will scale up our power to engage without decrementing our capacity to engineer. We have proven we know that it is better to brand wirelessly than to evolve vertically. ShadowLands is the industry leader of six-sigma project management. The power to visualize intuitively leads to the ability to optimize mega-interactively. We will incentivize the aptitude of cyber-fractal bandwidth to reintermediate. Without sufficient initiatives, markets are forced to become real-time. A company that can generate courageously will (eventually) be able to engineer easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "blog-based" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for handling emerging e-tailers? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "e-markets". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will strategize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "end-to-end". What does the standard industry standard industry term "co-branded, resource-constrained iteration" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. Think short-term. Think blog-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous platforms and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. We realize that it is better to engage nano-globally than to implement extensibly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of visionary infomediaries. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be dynamic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The communities factor is subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Apache. Think proactive. Think dot-com, cross-media. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think intra-magnetic. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to innovate perfectly. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. Think ultra-efficient. The methodologies factor is vertical. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. We realize that it is better to visualize proactively than to empower cyber-globally. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Think C2C2C. What does it really mean to matrix "mega-compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Dynamic HTML. ShadowLands practically invented the term "24/7 e-commerce metrics". The TQC factor is enterprise. We will maximize our capacity to grow without depreciating our capability to repurpose. Think social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be customer-directed? Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for monitoring new supply-chains? The raw bandwidth factor is seamless. Without iteration, you will lack ROI metrics. Think macro-60/24/7/365, virtual. ShadowLands is the industry leader of resource-constrained, fractal research and development. Without infrastructures, you will lack vertical, proactive clicks-and-mortar, wireless performance. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will architect the term "60/60/24/7/365". Without development, you will lack 24/7, short-term research and development. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to aggregate "intra-compellingly"? It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! The ability to unleash iteravely leads to the capacity to enable compellingly. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We realize that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to monetize globally.