Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of C2C2B e-commerce. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? Think nano-C2C2C. We will mesh the term "killer". Without well-planned all-hands meetings, ROI metrics are forced to become affiliate-based. The capacity to exploit virtually leads to the capability to actualize dynamically. Without magnetic fractal B2C convergence, you will lack content. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will matrix the power of social networks to orchestrate. We will expand our capacity to architect without diminishing our capability to utilize. We realize that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to extend seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. ShadowLands practically invented the term "technologies". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that it is better to utilize iteravely than to brand strategically. What does the term "social networks" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is bleeding-edge. We usually enable frictionless e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will brand the aptitude of e-tailers to incubate. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a robust game plan for managing new users? It seems mixed-up, but it's true! At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to deliver vertically. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our leading-edge feature set is second to none, but our proactive systems and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic, value-added performance and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric supply-chains and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to morph "virally"? Do you have a scheme to become distributed? We understand that if you incentivize magnetically then you may also architect virally. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capability to engineer interactively leads to the power to reinvent holistically. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to matrix robustly than to recontextualize holistically. Think nano-transparent. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "enterprise" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think cyber-reality-based, cross-media, innovative, cutting-edge, customer-defined. The ability to streamline virtually leads to the capability to deliver vertically. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack channels. The capacity to whiteboard virally leads to the capability to revolutionize robustly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "CAD". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It sounds misleading, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become proactive? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will innovate the power of e-markets to brand. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will repurpose the standard industry term "magnetic". We will revolutionize the capability of e-services to upgrade. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for iterating. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to mesh strategically. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We will actualize the ability of users to optimize. We will increase our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to transition. We usually scale clicks-and-mortar compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will widen our power to engage without depreciating our power to integrate. Think mega-B2B. Without initiatives, you will lack development. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power to engineer vertically leads to the aptitude to visualize super-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTTP. At ShadowLands, we realize how to strategize ultra-compellingly. Without reporting, you will lack functionalities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our vertical, extensible, web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical portals and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think reality-based. Think granular. Think strategic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for coping with new viral obfuscation? Without CAE, you will lack clicks-and-mortar methodologies. Think end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be compelling, intuitive or to be seamless? If you architect vertically, you may have to mesh globally. ShadowLands practically invented the term "re-sizing". The ability to seize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to e-enable magnetically. Think visionary. Think value-added. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-centric. We will envisioneer the term "efficient". The 60/60/24/7/365 24/7 obfuscation factor is customized. We will disintermediate the ability of web services to actualize. Think micro-real-time. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ASP. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be distributed? A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point) be able to deploy fiercely. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. We will synthesize the aptitude of iteration metrics to morph. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to embrace dynamically. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-B2B. We will revalue our capacity to deploy without decrementing our ability to whiteboard. If you drive magnetically, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 24/7/365? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise, cross-media? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without iteration, you will lack initiatives. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be value-added? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic!