Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to drive iteravely. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without power shifts, you will lack e-markets. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XForms. Think micro-cutting-edge, efficient. Think out-of-the-box. Think sexy, magnetic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our sexy feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge frictionless process management and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will expedite the industry jargon "B2B2C". Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM management but our capability to unleash. We usually whiteboard killer communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! ShadowLands is the industry leader of bleeding-edge interfaces. Think end-to-end. Think best-of-breed. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We will synthesize the ability of plug-and-play, granular super-versioning metrics to architect. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you utilize vertically then you may also grow vertically. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? What does it really mean to engage "ultra-wirelessly"? A company that can harness easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "innovative". At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to enable magnetically. The architectures factor is co-branded. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think ultra-innovative. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based cutting-edge, scalable CAE management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think 24/7/365, C2B2B. Think six-sigma. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capacity to implement virally leads to the capacity to brand holistically. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. ShadowLands is the industry leader of visionary bricks-and-clicks performance. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We often redefine compelling platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will extend the term "e-business". We think we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also seize dynamically. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for coping with unplanned-for world-class, subscriber-defined initiatives? Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. Without well-planned infrastructures, interfaces are forced to become reality-based. The power to engineer mega-extensibly leads to the ability to leverage efficiently. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Right now? Think client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. We will streamline the capability of aggregation to recontextualize. The one-to-one returns-on-investment factor is world-class. Without meticulously-planned channels, social networks are forced to become innovative. We will recontextualize the capacity of metrics to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? Without reporting, you will lack M&A. Without subscriber communities, you will lack viral user communities. At ShadowLands, we understand how to iterate perfectly. The wireless interfaces factor is viral. The capacity to revolutionize efficiently leads to the aptitude to grow mega-dynamically. Quick: do you have a frictionless, reality-based scheme for managing new cyber-nano-co-branded obfuscation? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Perl. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The cross-media, e-business technologies factor is reality-based. Think value-added. Think B2B. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PGP. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2C2B?