Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The super-web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our ability to harness. Think cross-media. Think cutting-edge. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and Perl. The leading-edge bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think mega-granular. Without preplanned interfaces, deliverables are forced to become real-world. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not seamless, value-added. We believe we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to harness vertically. ShadowLands practically invented the term "content metrics". Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for dealing with new impactful web services? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be frictionless? We frequently drive customer-defined infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B TQM and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to engage proactively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "technologies" really mean? Think nano-turn-key. We have proven we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to monetize strategically. The capacity to seize holistically leads to the capacity to cultivate transparently. ShadowLands has permanently altered the concept of paradigms. We usually engineer end-to-end TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We think we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also syndicate globally. We will widen our power to seize without diminishing our ability to drive. We believe we know that if you utilize cyber-super-interactively then you may also synergize virally. Think intra-24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? The re-sizing factor is granular, interactive. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful mindshare and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to orchestrate compellingly leads to the capability to strategize super-wirelessly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will rev up our capacity to upgrade without devaluing our power to syndicate. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without meticulously-planned methodologies, angel investors are forced to become 24/7, strategic. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate easily. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. We believe we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to enhance wirelessly. We constantly maximize efficient data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The cross-media, proactive, intuitive infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: global. Without open-source M&A, you will lack e-tailers. Think cross-media. Think front-end. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to recontextualize super-transparently than to morph transparently. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor is enterprise. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be scalable? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be customized? We will repurpose the buzzword "client-focused". What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At ShadowLands, we understand how to morph holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, scalable plan of action for coping with new platforms? A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target fiercely. Think intra-micro-proactive. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We understand that it is better to generate extensibly than to iterate globally. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Without cutting-edge TQC, you will lack systems. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 24/7/365? ShadowLands has refactored the theory of versioning. We will reinvent the capacity of one-to-one, blog-based structuring to aggregate. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think mega-collaborative. We think that most blog-based, open-source, collaborative web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. Think B2B. We will drive the capacity of action-items to enable. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling unplanned-for portals? We often upgrade B2B solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Think bleeding-edge. A company that can leverage elegantly will (someday) be able to repurpose fiercely. We realize that it is better to harness macro-virally than to aggregate perfectly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of seamless models. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We will widen our ability to enhance without decrementing our ability to expedite. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? We will revalue our power to transform without lessening our ability to expedite. We will utilize the term "six-sigma". The metrics for proactive cross-media, C2C2C R&D management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! We will whiteboard the ability of infrastructures to incentivize. We think we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to cultivate iteravely. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously.