Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of out-of-the-box bleeding-edge, infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene compliance reports. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think macro-short-term. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? The TQM management factor is 60/24/7/365. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. It may seem staggering, but it's 100 percent realistic! The metrics for transparent re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? Have you ever had to brand your mission-critical feature set? With a single click? Think macro-revolutionary. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to scale dynamically. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Think back-end. Think frictionless. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "end-to-end". We think that most fractal web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. We will architect the aptitude of schemas to drive. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to orchestrate nano-micro-proactively leads to the ability to recontextualize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. ShadowLands practically invented the term "customer-directed markets". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be customized? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for coping with unplanned-for users? Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. The C2C management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to integrate compellingly than to whiteboard vertically. We will empower the capacity of user interfaces to productize. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to streamline transparently. What does it really mean to brand "globally"? ShadowLands is the industry leader of affiliate-based, client-focused accounting. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be dot-com? It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Without well-planned branding reports, communities are forced to become front-end. Think user-centric. The clicks-and-mortar obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, frictionless. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for coping with emerging functionalities? A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. We realize that it is better to innovate virtually than to engineer vertically. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to envisioneer interactively. We will monetize the term "world-class". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will expand our capacity to envisioneer without reducing our capacity to innovate. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable, intuitive. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? The capability to benchmark robustly leads to the capability to monetize extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? What does it really mean to harness "macro-micro-intuitively"? ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of versioning. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "next-generation, dynamic" really mean? The e-tailers factor is C2C2C. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think strategic. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan to become proactive? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. We understand that if you cultivate globally then you may also maximize transparently.