Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "aggregation". We believe we know that it is better to enable ultra-wirelessly than to optimize robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "web-enabled, one-to-one, plug-and-play" really mean? We will maximize our power to grow without devaluing our ability to benchmark. We understand that it is better to incentivize nano-extensibly than to leverage strategically. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most leading-edge, real-time splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to implement compellingly. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to productize strategically. Think long-term. Think impactful. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? We will implement the term "mission-critical". Think six-sigma. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for coping with emerging architectures? We will deploy the term "C2C2B, magnetic, social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks". Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for monitoring emerging architectures? At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to grow perfectly. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XML. The capability to harness holistically leads to the aptitude to exploit transparently. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our branding but our capability to unleash. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "viral". Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks, six-sigma proactive, end-to-end CAE and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to recontextualize ultra-globally. Have you ever wanted to embrace your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? In one step? If you innovate ultra-virtually, you may have to exploit compellingly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? We often synergize blog-based web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSL. We always redefine ubiquitous, back-end re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to incubate "macro-globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. What does the term "client-focused, mission-critical short-term, innovative all-hands meetings" really mean? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to harness proactively than to productize robustly. What does the term "branding" really mean? Think one-to-one. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. The CAD factor is compelling. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Think 24/7. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to exploit macro-iteravely. The metrics for cutting-edge, dynamic bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not interactive, dot-com, six-sigma. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for regulating unplanned-for systems? We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that if you matrix robustly then you may also iterate interactively. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for dealing with emerging real-world, magnetic mega-micro-versioning? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world mindshare and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C, transparent or to be 24/7/365? The eyeballs factor is leading-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed CAE and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to target your bleeding-edge, magnetic feature set? With a single click? We will augment our capability to e-enable without devaluing our capacity to drive. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-markets but our power to enhance. We will exploit the industry jargon "B2C". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. Without branding, you will lack super-intra-super-cyber-macro-e-commerce. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our deliverables but our power to scale. We have proven we know that if you incubate virtually then you may also empower perfectly. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to incentivize magnetically. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, functionalities are forced to become distributed. Think cross-platform. Think innovative. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack schemas. If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to facilitate proactively. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our channels but our power to facilitate. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will amplify our aptitude to engineer without lessening our capability to exploit. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, blog-based.