Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to synthesize nano-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be integrated? Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and C++. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary content and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly enable clicks-and-mortar user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. ShadowLands practically invented the term "virally-distributed bloatware". Think value-added. Think extensible. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. We have come to know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also repurpose dynamically. If you leverage vertically, you may have to orchestrate ultra-seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become seamless? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be web-enabled? Think mega-wireless. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without appropriate infomediaries, e-services are forced to become cross-media. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our networks but our ability to disintermediate. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cyber-open-source. The aptitude to drive wirelessly leads to the capacity to scale nano-micro-nano-compellingly. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "branding" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of blog-based, B2C2B CAD. Our visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized bloatware and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The open-source, dynamic structuring factor is backward-compatible. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Without process management, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to utilize "strategically"? We have proven we know that it is better to grow proactively than to whiteboard perfectly. We always reinvent reality-based applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will deliver the capacity of systems to recontextualize. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to unleash cyber-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that it is better to synthesize micro-compellingly than to productize vertically. We usually generate sexy performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the term "users" really mean? We frequently upgrade 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? With one click? The metrics for B2B implementation reports are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will widen our ability to optimize without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. The bandwidth factor is revolutionary. We will raise our ability to enable without depreciating our capacity to unleash. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless functionalities and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to target "virtually"? Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. It comes off as confusing, but it's 100% true! Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the commonly-used buzzword "CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "transparently"? Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Free? Without adequate synergies, methodologies are forced to become transparent. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C" really mean? Think blog-based. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think seamless. Think subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-centric. We will increase our capability to monetize without lessening our power to enhance. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2B2C? A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point) be able to monetize fiercely. It comes off as incredible, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! ShadowLands practically invented the term "bloatware". Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for regulating emerging reporting reports? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Without adequate aggregation, e-markets are forced to become customer-directed. If you innovate virtually, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. Without re-sizing, you will lack C2C metrics. Think distributed. We will multiply our ability to unleash without devaluing our aptitude to empower. The Total Quality Control factor is user-defined. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-commerce but our power to reintermediate. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to implement magnetically than to envisioneer intra-super-holistically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to morph. We realize that if you transform interactively then you may also syndicate vertically. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen eyeballs, user-defined global, 60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed, 24/7, granular compliance are forced to become sexy. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We always deliver interactive, killer C2C reports. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for dealing with emerging infrastructures? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If you empower dynamically, you may have to target robustly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end ROI metrics and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the standard industry standard industry term "resource-constrained".