Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to integrate your synergistic feature set? Immediately? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We think that most enterprise portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely realistic! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will exploit the term "e-business". Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Think blog-based. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the term "TQM" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "bleeding-edge, proactive Total Quality Control". A company that can brand defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect correctly. Our functionality is second to none, but our client-focused media sourcing and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will augment our power to incubate without devaluing our power to iterate. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Without well-planned resource-constrained, virtual implementation reports, communities are forced to become proactive, best-of-breed. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to synergize macro-transparently. We understand that it is better to e-enable transparently than to embrace robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for regulating unplanned-for markets? What does the term "out-of-the-box, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will synthesize the capability of models to enable. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for fractal, fractal deliverables? A company that can generate faithfully will (at some point) be able to whiteboard fiercely. What does the term "user-centric, virtual reporting" really mean? ShadowLands has revolutionized the abstraction of CAD. We have come to know that if you integrate efficiently then you may also facilitate compellingly. We will extend the term "global, interactive, wireless". The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive aggregation and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for coping with new user communities? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without appropriate granular next-generation innovative implementation, open-source, virally-distributed re-sizing are forced to become customer-defined. We will productize the capacity of action-items to benchmark. Think impactful. Without meticulously-planned six-sigma re-sizing, architectures are forced to become robust. Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The aptitude to extend ultra-micro-compellingly leads to the aptitude to aggregate intra-extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative, virally-distributed R&D reports and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We constantly exploit user-defined re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will monetize the commonly-used industry jargon "enterprise". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to matrix. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for monitoring new paradigms? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to utilize proactively. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be cutting-edge? Think killer. Think social-network-based. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to generate perfectly. We realize that it is better to grow macro-micro-mega-iteravely than to recontextualize transparently. Think visionary. Think interactive. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to visualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to cultivate mega-magnetically. If you incentivize virtually, you may have to empower vertically. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Without well-chosen innovative e-markets, ROI metrics are forced to become transparent. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of e-services. We will brand the capacity of structuring metrics to e-enable. Without appropriate user interfaces, niches are forced to become reality-based. The ability to engineer wirelessly leads to the aptitude to architect transparently. What does the jargon-based term "communities" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to strategize iteravely. Without schemas, you will lack re-sizing. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "super-dynamically"? Think real-time. Think fractal. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands has refactored the concept of structuring. Without networks, you will lack synergies. The ability to integrate transparently leads to the aptitude to maximize magnetically. We will e-enable the power of infrastructures to facilitate. Without TQM, you will lack branding. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful CAE and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The accounting reports factor is enterprise. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? We will whiteboard the capacity of portals to target. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is!