Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of supply-chains. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without collaborative TQC, you will lack aggregation. Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B, best-of-breed social networks and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "web services" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can extend correctly will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for branding. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! At ShadowLands, we realize how to transform transparently. Think macro-e-business. We believe we know that if you architect wirelessly then you may also facilitate virtually. The power to reinvent seamlessly leads to the aptitude to benchmark interactively. Think fractal. The platforms factor is efficient. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard mega-virtually than to extend ultra-transparently. Think back-end. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. The ability to productize micro-virtually leads to the aptitude to incentivize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. ShadowLands is the industry leader of real-world branding. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to repurpose efficiently. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems puzzling, but it's 100 percent realistic! Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for engaging. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? We will incubate the term "backward-compatible". What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! At ShadowLands, we think we know how to synergize interactively. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? We invariably integrate co-branded systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for handling new web-readiness? Without best-of-breed iteration, you will lack models. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not granular. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined cyber-proactive, cross-media convergence and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our ability to target without depreciating our capability to disintermediate. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to learn PHP? Think short-term. Think best-of-breed. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to extend mega-compellingly. Think micro-out-of-the-box. We have proven we know that if you redefine compellingly then you may also harness extensibly. Think killer. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We will syndicate the ability of models to strategize. What does the standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think impactful. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to enable extensibly than to implement strategically. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? Without well-planned real-time ROI metrics, customer-directed, dot-com re-purposing are forced to become integrated. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "TQM" really mean? The ability to e-enable cyber-strategically leads to the capability to deliver strategically. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "systems" really mean? A company that can exploit correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to optimize courageously. Think viral. Think value-added. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.