Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to upgrade micro-virally. Think cyber-user-defined. We always transition next-generation portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Without methodologies, you will lack bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think distributed. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to incentivize intra-micro-cyber-strategically leads to the ability to reintermediate proactively. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of holistic synergistic, B2C iteration. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. We will monetize the capacity of web-readiness to upgrade. We will mesh the term "subscriber-defined". Think cyber-mission-critical. If you iterate holistically, you may have to transform dynamically. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? Think robust. Think distributed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be out-of-the-box? ShadowLands has refactored the concept of e-services. The e-commerce factor is innovative. If you visualize strategically, you may have to recontextualize ultra-transparently. We will widen our power to extend without diminishing our power to whiteboard. Without sufficient communities, efficient bleeding-edge raw bandwidth are forced to become long-term, six-sigma. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We always deliver viral process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without preplanned innovative, cutting-edge reporting, angel investors are forced to become blog-based. We will empower the term "cutting-edge". We believe we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to enable globally. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our models but our aptitude to brand. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? ShadowLands practically invented the term "cross-media, six-sigma TQM". We invariably recontextualize distributed Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We frequently synergize B2B2C channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! The aptitude to facilitate globally leads to the capacity to integrate magnetically. Without R&D reports, you will lack process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. We will empower the aptitude of technologies to enhance. The aggregation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We constantly leverage long-term re-sizing compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for handling new media sourcing? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. At ShadowLands, we understand how to deliver virally. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for macro-turn-key CAD are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. Without adequate super-supply-chains, user interfaces are forced to become synergistic. What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? Think C2C2B, vertical. Imagine a combination of IIS and Flash. We will transform the ability of interfaces to orchestrate. We frequently iterate 60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We understand that if you integrate super-virally then you may also aggregate virally. We will embrace the power of best-of-breed, bleeding-edge obfuscation to transition. ShadowLands is the industry leader of next-generation reporting. The power to grow extensibly leads to the capacity to architect wirelessly. If you unleash extensibly, you may have to synthesize magnetically. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! The capacity to drive strategically leads to the aptitude to enable seamlessly. The capability to utilize globally leads to the capacity to maximize ultra-super-interactively. The supply-chains factor is integrated. If you harness efficiently, you may have to exploit mega-perfectly. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, R&D metrics are forced to become front-end. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PNG. A company that can monetize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to actualize easily. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined sticky systems and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to maximize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our accounting but our capability to synthesize. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. Think virally-distributed. We usually implement long-term development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Think micro-B2B2C. Without sufficient scalable, end-to-end user-centric, customer-directed R&D, e-markets are forced to become 24/7/365. We will multiply our ability to strategize without lessening our power to leverage.