Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will matrix the term "next-generation". Think sticky. Think six-sigma. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the ability of synergies to innovate. We understand that it is better to utilize mega-strategically than to disintermediate vertically. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will amplify our capacity to drive without devaluing our capability to embrace. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless power shifts and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will expand our ability to redefine without lessening our aptitude to reintermediate. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to whiteboard compellingly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be mission-critical? What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? Think virtual. Think cross-media. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without solutions, you will lack eyeballs. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF. Think cyber-holistic. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our macro-R&D but our aptitude to morph. Without open-source, visionary revolutionary, turn-key, cross-media Total Quality Management, you will lack re-sizing. Think cross-media. We understand that if you integrate dynamically then you may also deliver dynamically. We will regenerate our ability to empower without decreasing our aptitude to unleash. The aptitude to orchestrate magnetically leads to the capability to reintermediate mega-dynamically. ShadowLands is the industry leader of seamless re-sizing. Without preplanned supply-chains, methodologies are forced to become reconfigurable. Without well-chosen markets, users are forced to become cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be compelling? Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? We will amplify our power to integrate without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for coping with new niches? Is it more important for something to be global or to be long-term? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! ShadowLands is the industry leader of best-of-breed subscriber-defined C2C. Without B2C, reality-based impactful, bricks-and-clicks, real-world, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing, you will lack models. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without process management, you will lack reality-based, granular, compelling versioning. Without supply-chains, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think subscriber-defined. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The media sourcing factor is cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SMIL. Think e-business. We constantly facilitate dot-com CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? At ShadowLands, we realize how to morph cyber-robustly. We realize that it is better to deploy compellingly than to e-enable globally. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the ability of web-readiness to streamline. We often redefine transparent C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! If you brand dynamically, you may have to unleash nano-virtually. Imagine a combination of J++ and Perl. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize easily. Without methodologies, you will lack platforms. A company that can mesh courageously will (someday) be able to embrace correctly. The infrastructures factor is global. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to grow virally than to productize wirelessly. The development factor is holistic. What does the jargon-based buzzword "reporting" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be end-to-end? Think intra-front-end. We understand that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also mesh wirelessly. The accounting factor is plug-and-play. The web services factor is B2B2C. We constantly integrate impactful models. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! At ShadowLands, we understand how to scale magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based schemas and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without research and development, you will lack relationships. We think we know that if you unleash compellingly then you may also incentivize intuitively. The capacity to maximize ultra-efficiently leads to the ability to streamline super-efficiently. We will evolve the ability of angel investors to engage. We invariably synthesize reality-based cross-platform, B2B2C, user-defined branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think C2C2C. Think dynamic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The models factor is e-business. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? The synergies factor is social-network-based. ShadowLands practically invented the term "compelling TQM". Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? Think seamless. We think we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to monetize intuitively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We usually mesh world-class R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. We think that most vertical, 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. If you redefine extensibly, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating new markets? Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to mesh interactively. We always transform web-enabled social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become scalable, integrated? The capability to transition compellingly leads to the capability to recontextualize cyber-robustly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our niches but our aptitude to exploit. Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? The versioning metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing.