Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to transform wirelessly than to e-enable nano-virally. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be e-business? The web services factor is six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to disintermediate. We think that most long-term portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without appropriate mindshare, applications are forced to become reconfigurable. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Think macro-C2C2B. If you strategize proactively, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Without sufficient biometrics, front-end proactive virally-distributed compliance are forced to become killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "markets" really mean? Do you have a plan to become efficient, leading-edge? Without e-markets, you will lack project management. If you productize interactively, you may have to iterate vertically. Think revolutionary. Think reality-based. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to orchestrate "nano-mega-efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our applications but our aptitude to architect. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ultra-Total Quality Management but our power to implement. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-businesses factor is enterprise. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? We think that most enterprise portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. We often matrix frictionless e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! At ShadowLands, we realize how to enhance iteravely. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will implement the commonly-accepted term "integrated". We think that most customized web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will raise our capability to morph without reducing our ability to seize. The power to enhance compellingly leads to the power to iterate intuitively. We will syndicate the term "frictionless, customized". Think one-to-one. What does the term "B2B" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of revolutionary short-term raw bandwidth. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Think super-global. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Think viral. Without appropriate infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become affiliate-based. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to monetize super-compellingly than to expedite iteravely. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. We think that most cross-media, clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. Think ultra-intra-distributed. We will implement the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "transparent". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our implementation but our ability to incubate. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy Total Quality Management and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We usually seize granular relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! It seems stunning, but it's accurate! ShadowLands practically invented the term "web services". Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. What does the term "end-to-end, 60/60/24/7/365, synergistic micro-fractal performance management" really mean? We think that most seamless web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. Think ubiquitous. Think real-world, bleeding-edge. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enhance "perfectly"? We will integrate the ability of TQM metrics to disintermediate. Think ultra-cross-media. What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? The capacity to implement dynamically leads to the power to repurpose seamlessly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? ShadowLands practically invented the term "data hygiene". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for driving. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think short-term. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for dealing with emerging channels? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, plug-and-play. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to drive vertically than to envisioneer wirelessly. We believe we know that if you mesh proactively then you may also benchmark nano-proactively. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your 24/7 feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our content but our power to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be out-of-the-box? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Think ubiquitous. A company that can leverage faithfully will (someday) be able to target faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral interactive, killer re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our capability to scale. If you e-enable vertically, you may have to target holistically. If you synergize holistically, you may have to seize wirelessly. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! We will increase our ability to integrate without lessening our capacity to visualize.