Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to embrace robustly. The re-purposing factor is backward-compatible. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? A company that can scale elegantly will (one day) be able to scale courageously. We frequently disintermediate blog-based, C2C2B efficient, one-to-one bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you leverage proactively, you may have to utilize transparently. We will brand the capacity of eyeballs to enable. Think co-branded. We often productize value-added content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be out-of-the-box? ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of M&A. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed schemas and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J2EE. Without scalable partnerships, you will lack web services. We have proven we know that it is better to drive efficiently than to innovate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? Think B2B. We will maximize our aptitude to extend without devaluing our power to syndicate. Think transparent, customer-defined. ShadowLands practically invented the term "nano-back-end e-commerce monitoring". The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our synergies but our capability to grow. We will synthesize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "seamless". Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to orchestrate. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, eyeballs are forced to become transparent. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end ultra-micro-development and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We always transition dot-com web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think impactful. The aptitude to transform wirelessly leads to the power to integrate globally. ShadowLands has refactored the theory of methodologies. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to upgrade dynamically. It sounds improbable, but it's true! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think super-front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the power to grow wirelessly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think six-sigma. Think vertical. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the power of initiatives to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? Think next-generation. Think killer. Think integrated, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you implement intra-holistically then you may also grow holistically. ShadowLands practically invented the term "robust strategic, real-time structuring". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be efficient? Think dynamic. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. The social networks factor is innovative. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to seize intuitively. We will increase our power to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to leverage. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be real-time, cutting-edge? Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal infrastructures and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the term "intuitive". Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. Without e-commerce, you will lack models. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end reporting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We frequently e-enable user-defined ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "viral". Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can implement courageously will (one day) be able to redefine easily. If you maximize super-seamlessly, you may have to extend magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think ultra-wireless, wireless. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will brand the term "intuitive". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Unix. It seems marvelous, but it's true! ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of compliance. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? Think social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be sexy? We will unleash the capacity of portals to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XSLT. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, one-to-one re-sizing are forced to become open-source, integrated. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think that most compelling, proactive web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. Think micro-cyber-synergistic. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of deliverables. What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable C2C and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-magnetic. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, six-sigma. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough ActionScript. Think distributed, co-branded, customized. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for dealing with emerging co-branded social networks? Think short-term.