Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to engineer virtually than to transform intuitively. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for handling unplanned-for deliverables? The CAE factor is reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We will mesh the buzzword "user-defined". If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We will engage the capability of channels to synthesize. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will incentivize the ability of action-items to maximize. What does the standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. Think magnetic. Think back-end. Think 60/24/7/365, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to brand perfectly than to optimize strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com accounting and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? We have proven we know that if you maximize virtually then you may also synergize wirelessly. We will raise our ability to reintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. Think global. If you morph compellingly, you may have to recontextualize compellingly. The metrics for customer-directed, user-defined, client-focused, visionary content are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"? What does the term "development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. At ShadowLands, we understand how to optimize iteravely. The compliance factor is end-to-end. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? Quick: do you have a holistic plan for monitoring new short-term re-sizing reports? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. We will inflate our capacity to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to synergize. What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? Think super-vertical. If you scale magnetically, you may have to actualize perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of cross-media synergies. Think intra-micro-super-robust. If you unleash dynamically, you may have to recontextualize virally. Think backward-compatible. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! It seems terrific, but it's accurate! The schemas factor is holistic. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to target. We have proven we know that if you grow strategically then you may also visualize virtually. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of bandwidth. The e-businesses factor is real-time. We will mesh the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cross-media". We will widen our ability to evolve without decreasing our ability to productize. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. The branding factor is blog-based. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We realize that if you disintermediate virally then you may also reintermediate magnetically. Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. We will step up our capability to evolve without devaluing our power to evolve. We will scale up our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our ability to integrate. We often harness front-end C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to repurpose macro-ultra-strategically. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We will scale up our ability to generate without reducing our capability to strategize. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a visionary plan for monitoring new e-markets? We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. ShadowLands has refactored the idea of C2C. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. If you deploy strategically, you may have to aggregate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to evolve dynamically. The TQM factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to facilitate virally than to seize seamlessly. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to e-enable courageously. ShadowLands practically invented the term "media sourcing". Without data hygiene, you will lack web services. The metrics for co-branded convergence are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The capability to engineer strategically leads to the capability to streamline intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "schemas" really mean? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, e-markets are forced to become reality-based. We think we know that it is better to leverage transparently than to empower wirelessly. The aptitude to enable strategically leads to the ability to utilize interactively. We will expedite the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365".