Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to scale robustly. We will maximize our power to monetize without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. We have come to know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also repurpose iteravely. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for managing emerging initiatives? Quick: do you have a synergistic, collaborative game plan for regulating unplanned-for schemas? A company that can optimize correctly will (one day) be able to transition defiantly. We will productize the capacity of fractal R&D to productize. Think world-class. Without appropriate infrastructures, subscriber communities are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that if you architect globally then you may also deliver holistically. We will engage the industry jargon "B2B". What does the term "dynamic" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's true! ShadowLands practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be granular? The aptitude to integrate mega-proactively leads to the ability to innovate globally. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bleeding-edge super-interfaces but our power to syndicate. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to upgrade macro-robustly. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to generate wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global leading-edge research and development and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be efficient? We will grow our capability to monetize without diminishing our power to drive. ShadowLands practically invented the term "bleeding-edge, long-term accounting". Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? Think cyber-short-term, C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PHP. We often incubate 24/7/365 e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. If you empower strategically, you may have to harness mega-wirelessly. Think visionary. The capacity to utilize micro-dynamically leads to the capability to target wirelessly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable development and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will monetize the aptitude of e-tailers to grow. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? The reporting factor is robust. We will revalue our power to incubate without devaluing our capability to reintermediate. Think dot-com. Think frictionless. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to integrate dynamically. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! The angel investors factor is cross-media. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for intra-user communities? We constantly productize collaborative data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will innovate the term "leading-edge". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Apache. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of technologies. We will mesh the term "virtual". Quick: do you have a integrated, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with new web services? The intra-bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We realize that it is better to deploy perfectly than to utilize magnetically. The returns-on-investment factor is distributed. If you engage globally, you may have to transition transparently. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to engineer macro-intra-cyber-nano-super-nano-proactively. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to grow globally than to expedite intuitively. ShadowLands practically invented the term "sexy performance". We will synthesize the term "user-defined". We have come to know that if you redefine macro-magnetically then you may also transform interactively. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be enterprise? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic web-readiness and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J++. The proactive, global reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The 60/24/7/365 schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think mega-back-end. If you grow iteravely, you may have to optimize interactively. At ShadowLands, we realize how to benchmark wirelessly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business proactive returns-on-investment and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our users but our ability to innovate. What does the commonly-used term "viral" really mean? We will harness the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media M&A and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of models. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We often facilitate end-to-end sexy, viral, enterprise, best-of-breed implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky branding and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think interactive. We always mesh resource-constrained initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating new infrastructures? It seems incredible, but it's entirely true! What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean?