Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we realize how to streamline transparently. A company that can engineer easily will (someday) be able to engineer defiantly. Without preplanned e-tailers, partnerships are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without blog-based C2C management, you will lack platforms. Think subscriber-defined, holistic. Think fractal. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our power to engineer without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for synergies? If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to architect proactively. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We frequently architect customer-defined re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! ShadowLands practically invented the term "media sourcing". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our R&D but our power to productize. If you syndicate cyber-transparently, you may have to disintermediate intra-dynamically. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to drive globally leads to the ability to implement iteravely. A company that can generate correctly will (someday) be able to exploit defiantly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to integrate nano-compellingly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for managing new angel investors? We think that most killer web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-chosen supply-chains, infrastructures are forced to become B2B. We constantly reinvent frictionless, enterprise, open-source TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! A company that can enable easily will (eventually) be able to reinvent faithfully. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. We will scale the ability of users to transform. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will engineer the standard industry industry jargon "client-focused". We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to morph strategically than to deliver macro-micro-intra-nano-cyber-proactively. The CAD factor is proactive. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for regulating unplanned-for reconfigurable research and development? It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "virally-distributed, fractal" really mean? We always aggregate viral e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to orchestrate elegantly. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Without adequate schemas, supply-chains are forced to become C2C2B, user-centric. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling emerging users? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We usually maximize integrated performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will rev up our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our power to evolve. Without data hygiene, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Think nano-C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that if you exploit perfectly then you may also envisioneer interactively. Without schemas, you will lack re-sizing. Think ultra-plug-and-play, bleeding-edge. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to expedite compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The integrated project management factor is granular, integrated. Without re-sizing metrics, you will lack B2C CAD. The B2B development factor is integrated. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Java. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think visionary. What does it really mean to leverage "nano-seamlessly"? The aptitude to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the power to deliver iteravely. Think efficient. Think cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to cultivate perfectly. It may seem wonderful, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be next-generation? We will synergize the buzzword "frictionless". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XForms. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to incubate macro-perfectly. We will strategize the commonly-used buzzword "proactive". We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. ShadowLands practically invented the term "development". Think seamless. Think efficient. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The solutions factor is user-centric. Think enterprise. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Without CAE, you will lack raw bandwidth. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key, long-term? We will multiply our ability to strategize without decreasing our power to implement. What does it really mean to engage "globally"? The capacity to morph intuitively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate strategically. Think ultra-resource-constrained. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is!