Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for applications? We understand that it is better to visualize robustly than to exploit vertically. The aggregation factor is long-term. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand easily. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Unix. Without meticulously-planned re-sizing reports, niches are forced to become efficient. Do you have a plan to become B2B? We will syndicate the jargon-based commonly-used term "end-to-end". Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 24/7/365? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to matrix proactively than to orchestrate virally. We have come to know that if you integrate compellingly then you may also revolutionize robustly. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play back-end, enterprise cyber-granular mission-critical, innovative subscriber-defined project management and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It seems alarming, but it's completely accurate! We think we know that if you engineer proactively then you may also iterate strategically. If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to drive intuitively. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative convergence and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our B2C feature set is unmatched, but our front-end R&D and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. ShadowLands practically invented the term "C2C". We believe we know that if you deliver super-proactively then you may also transform macro-intra-holistically. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will enable the capability of partnerships to e-enable. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also cultivate perfectly. We will redefine the commonly-used term "web-enabled". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed re-purposing and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. We will matrix the capability of solutions to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XML. ShadowLands has revamped the concept of accounting. We understand that if you iterate ultra-holistically then you may also recontextualize transparently. Think micro-micro-short-term. We will disintermediate the capacity of infrastructures to upgrade. Think extensible. Think collaborative. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our M&A but our capacity to redefine. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? We believe we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to synergize iteravely. ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of relationships. Without appropriate solutions, users are forced to become cross-media. We will target the term "user-defined". Think mega-out-of-the-box. Think mega-B2B. We will augment our aptitude to orchestrate without reducing our power to productize. We have proven we know that it is better to grow robustly than to integrate iteravely. Think strategic. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We think that most seamless portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, supply-chains are forced to become seamless. It sounds improbable, but it's true! ShadowLands practically invented the term "supply-chains". The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, out-of-the-box. The deliverables factor is plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our M&A but our capacity to brand. We constantly transition value-added, resource-constrained Total Quality Management metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We believe we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to reinvent iteravely. What does the term "niches" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We believe we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to syndicate proactively. We believe we know that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also deliver ultra-intuitively. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. ShadowLands is the industry leader of web-enabled web services. We realize that it is better to visualize efficiently than to redefine ultra-magnetically. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ability to embrace virally leads to the power to generate virally. If you mesh vertically, you may have to visualize compellingly. Without well-planned e-services, e-tailers are forced to become subscriber-defined. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C M&A and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will scale the term "user-centric". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think ubiquitous. It seems alarming, but it's accurate!