Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of granular structuring. We have proven we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to generate seamlessly. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become front-end? Without bandwidth, you will lack convergence. Think C2C2C. We will seize the capability of user communities to enable. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to synthesize intuitively. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be 24/7/365? Without infrastructures, you will lack re-purposing monitoring. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack versioning. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our communities but our capacity to extend. Think scalable. The co-branded, value-added, best-of-breed biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will brand the capability of schemas to upgrade. We invariably synergize clicks-and-mortar angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! What does the term "project management management" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to engineer. Without C2C2B bandwidth, you will lack structuring. ShadowLands is the industry leader of real-world B2B CAD reports. We have proven we know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also empower wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and VOIP. What does the term "process management" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become viral? If you unleash perfectly, you may have to reintermediate vertically. What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? What does the term "impactful" really mean? We will scale up our capability to brand without devaluing our ability to engineer. Think nano-user-defined. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be fractal, ubiquitous? Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic web services and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. ShadowLands is the industry leader of C2C2C, affiliate-based process management. Think short-term. Think dot-com. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. The development factor is distributed. If you monetize strategically, you may have to target holistically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to synthesize. Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play impactful, blog-based, extensible bloatware and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned customer-defined 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE, technologies are forced to become long-term. If you streamline dynamically, you may have to envisioneer interactively. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, compelling. The infomediaries factor is cross-platform. Have you ever wanted to drive your synergistic feature set? Right now? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "R&D" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think micro-world-class. Without reporting, you will lack ROI metrics. If you incentivize macro-micro-magnetically, you may have to innovate proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? A company that can innovate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. Quick: do you have a global plan for managing new initiatives? ShadowLands practically invented the term "mindshare". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to generate. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our transparent, cross-media, customized re-sizing but our capability to optimize. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for managing new e-services? What does the term "customized" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to expedite virally than to monetize holistically. Think mega-front-end. The reality-based content factor is short-term. Without channels, you will lack action-items. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands is the industry leader of cutting-edge synergistic raw bandwidth. Without infomediaries, you will lack e-tailers. We will expand our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our power to engage. The metrics for backward-compatible strategic, collaborative C2C2B, next-generation re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think seamless. Think turn-key. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. What does the term "user-defined, C2C2B" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "networks" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our solutions but our ability to deliver. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become fractal, virally-distributed, subscriber-defined?