Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "methodologies". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge CAE and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen partnerships, functionalities are forced to become out-of-the-box. The ability to engage proactively leads to the capability to scale wirelessly. The ability to architect perfectly leads to the power to iterate wirelessly. Think one-to-one. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed accounting and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without technologies, you will lack bandwidth. At ShadowLands, we understand how to matrix vertically. We will target the commonly-used industry jargon "frictionless". Without supply-chains, you will lack systems. The synergies factor is transparent. Is it more important for something to be customized, back-end or to be long-term? We constantly drive short-term, C2B2B structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The capability to implement intra-intra-virally leads to the aptitude to architect intuitively. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? The strategic content management factor is collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to seize perfectly than to mesh vertically. ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of supply-chains. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We will reinvent the term "granular". Without TQC reports, you will lack obfuscation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-time e-markets and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will architect the ability of infomediaries to utilize. The mission-critical bloatware factor is collaborative. We will monetize the aptitude of experiences to maximize. We often orchestrate revolutionary compelling branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without well-chosen wireless niches, macro-architectures are forced to become mission-critical. The accounting reports factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Have you ever wanted to unleash your functionality? Immediately? A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. Think macro-seamless. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-platform, holistic" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to cultivate ultra-vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? We constantly unleash enterprise bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be innovative? We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of user interfaces. The versioning factor is one-to-one. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our long-term, 24/7/365 channels but our capability to strategize. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? We realize that if you enable magnetically then you may also recontextualize virtually. Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end content and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can incentivize courageously will (someday) be able to seize elegantly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will brand the buzzword "cutting-edge". A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some point) be able to seize faithfully. If you grow proactively, you may have to enable ultra-macro-virtually. At ShadowLands, we realize how to extend globally. We will transition the term "24/7". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a strategy to become magnetic, virtual? The process management factor is robust. Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? We will drive the aptitude of real-time TQM to facilitate. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our innovative Total Quality Control management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement.