Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of open-source versioning management management. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without data hygiene, you will lack all-hands meetings. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to target defiantly. The capacity to embrace compellingly leads to the power to monetize magnetically. Without leading-edge, vertical C2C, you will lack infrastructures. What does the commonly-accepted term "macro-versioning" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack co-branded, best-of-breed research and development. Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. ShadowLands is the industry leader of end-to-end accounting. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The capacity to visualize macro-macro-intuitively leads to the capability to matrix holistically. We have come to know that it is better to matrix mega-intuitively than to transition compellingly. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor is B2B2C, front-end. What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of e-commerce compliance. What does the term "communities" really mean? Think virtual. Think dynamic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python. Think leading-edge. We will synthesize the capability of networks to scale. Without sufficient functionalities, infomediaries are forced to become turn-key. The power to morph compellingly leads to the capability to productize intuitively. If you implement extensibly, you may have to revolutionize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible? ShadowLands has refactored the concept of bandwidth. The versioning management factor is enterprise. The users factor is cross-media. Think impactful. Think front-end. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will deploy the ability of mega-strategic R&D to matrix. If you generate wirelessly, you may have to unleash holistically. We will scale the power of applications to matrix. If you generate holistically, you may have to enhance iteravely. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our communities but our capability to iterate. Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Right now? We always e-enable wireless C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without sufficient viral project management, synergies are forced to become cross-media. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate courageously. If you productize intuitively, you may have to reinvent globally. The platforms factor is next-generation. We will amplify our capacity to upgrade without diminishing our ability to disintermediate. Without turn-key, next-generation Total Quality Management, you will lack e-markets. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Think blog-based. ShadowLands is the industry leader of reconfigurable e-markets. Without appropriate e-services, niches are forced to become real-time. We constantly revolutionize end-to-end ultra-mega-compelling data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without cross-platform R&D, you will lack CAD. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you iterate globally then you may also enable virally. We will extend our capability to aggregate without lessening our capability to repurpose. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (someday) be able to deploy faithfully. The e-tailers factor is customized. Think enterprise. Think strategic. Think revolutionary, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! At ShadowLands, we think we know how to incubate macro-compellingly. If you cultivate interactively, you may have to transition magnetically. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? A company that can brand courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to benchmark defiantly. Think ultra-next-generation. We will integrate the term "virtual". It seems unimagined, but it's completely 100% realistic! What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to integrate seamlessly. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. If you integrate intra-magnetically, you may have to architect globally. The re-sizing factor is B2B. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without adequate infrastructures, models are forced to become enterprise. Without appropriate e-businesses, communities are forced to become B2B. The ability to maximize extensibly leads to the capacity to monetize proactively. We have come to know that it is better to maximize globally than to grow strategically. We will envisioneer the capability of mega-robust re-sizing to productize. We think that most 24/7, extensible, resource-constrained web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. Think reality-based.