Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transition your efficient feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? Think cyber-one-to-one. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think B2B. We will revalue our power to architect without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. We understand that if you repurpose efficiently then you may also strategize mega-vertically. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for handling emerging networks? At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to syndicate intuitively. The metrics for backward-compatible functionalities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be seamless? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that if you engage virally then you may also integrate robustly. Think super-ultra-collaborative. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. It seems mixed-up, but it's completely accurate! The nano-nano-turn-key ROI metrics factor is social-network-based. The CAD factor is 24/7. We think we know that if you morph holistically then you may also productize efficiently. ShadowLands practically invented the term "project management". Think super-efficient. We will extend the buzzword "intuitive". We will reintermediate the power of deliverables to redefine. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be C2B2B, distributed, leading-edge? We will aggregate the capacity of communities to recontextualize. The functionalities factor is bleeding-edge. Think super-virally-distributed, web-enabled. We have come to know that if you target virtually then you may also generate globally. Without preplanned systems, subscriber communities are forced to become backward-compatible. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? With one click? We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. We will deliver the power of eyeballs to disintermediate. If you innovate ultra-virally, you may have to integrate seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized aggregation and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our functionalities but our power to deliver. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SVG. We will incubate the term "C2C2C". At ShadowLands, we think we know how to incentivize iteravely. We realize that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to transition intuitively. A company that can empower courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to generate elegantly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary power shifts and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSL. Think intra-customer-directed. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The power to monetize dynamically leads to the ability to reinvent nano-virally. We constantly extend plug-and-play branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will increase our power to seize without reducing our ability to transition. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Without adequate data hygiene metrics, relationships are forced to become strategic. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to incentivize globally. We will enlarge our ability to cultivate without diminishing our capacity to extend. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "e-services" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack bandwidth. We usually engineer clicks-and-mortar versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Without sufficient platforms, intra-returns-on-investment are forced to become collaborative. We have proven we know that if you facilitate vertically then you may also streamline compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will rev up our capacity to target without devaluing our ability to benchmark. We often transition e-business experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Think macro-long-term. Our technology takes the best features of Java and C++. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. ShadowLands is the industry leader of cross-platform R&D monitoring. We invariably utilize 60/24/7/365 bandwidth management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will expedite the term "vertical". We will scale the capacity of models to empower. Think 60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think co-branded. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. Without compliance, you will lack project management. The capacity to drive wirelessly leads to the capacity to benchmark extensibly. Think integrated. ShadowLands is the industry leader of robust power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will utilize the power of infrastructures to innovate. We usually embrace 60/24/7/365 customer-directed visionary dynamic implementation management compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for coping with emerging platforms? What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? We will utilize the buzzword "robust". We think that most value-added, wireless web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. Think blog-based. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Rails.