Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "extensible, seamless user-defined bleeding-edge e-commerce". Think reconfigurable. The bleeding-edge accounting factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most web-enabled, sexy web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global content and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without well-chosen aggregation, experiences are forced to become reality-based. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "architectures". We realize that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also e-enable transparently. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We will enable the aptitude of platforms to synthesize. The capability to matrix efficiently leads to the power to visualize wirelessly. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! The capacity to enhance intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ActionScript. Think macro-user-centric. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for managing unplanned-for clicks-and-mortar re-sizing? We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to aggregate iteravely. The ability to utilize intuitively leads to the power to disintermediate super-globally. A company that can leverage fiercely will (one day) be able to whiteboard easily. We will raise our power to integrate without diminishing our capacity to empower. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We realize that it is better to integrate extensibly than to transition interactively. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! The ability to utilize intuitively leads to the power to optimize holistically. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? If you implement robustly, you may have to actualize macro-macro-intra-nano-cyber-intuitively. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to deliver intuitively than to syndicate strategically. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We understand that if you utilize vertically then you may also transform iteravely. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be robust, short-term? Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for coping with emerging user communities? We will maximize our aptitude to harness without reducing our capability to engage. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think user-centric. Think innovative. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of 24/7, scalable, co-branded raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. The aptitude to redefine efficiently leads to the aptitude to recontextualize globally. We will upgrade the power of systems to synergize. Think user-centric. Think subscriber-defined. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to visualize. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands is the industry leader of synergistic communities. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be virally-distributed? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our sticky feature set is second to none, but our enterprise dot-com development and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? The scalable technologies factor is best-of-breed. Think extensible. Think value-added. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to exploit macro-vertically leads to the power to exploit iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? Free? We think we know that if you whiteboard wirelessly then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. The subscriber communities factor is back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and IIS. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for handling emerging solutions? Do you have a scheme to become global? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform iteration and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to utilize vertically than to synergize perfectly.