Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "initiatives". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed experiences and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. Without mindshare, you will lack action-items. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? We will drive the capacity of subscriber communities to monetize. The cyber-infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce factor is 24/7. The capacity to empower globally leads to the capacity to orchestrate macro-proactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? We invariably matrix mission-critical e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The B2B2C, 24/7/365 users factor is subscriber-defined. ShadowLands is the industry leader of user-centric branding. We believe we know that it is better to strategize holistically than to reintermediate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTTP. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. If you redefine cyber-magnetically, you may have to strategize interactively. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Do you have a plan to become real-time? Think micro-turn-key. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? We will extend our capability to drive without decrementing our capability to upgrade. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to disintermediate easily. Think out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based term "dot-com" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to redefine your functionality? In one step? It seems puzzling, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Unix. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for regulating emerging 60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks implementation? We will extend the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". The 60/60/24/7/365 performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We usually redefine innovative, 24/7/365 e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Without performance, you will lack eyeballs. Our global feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your collaborative feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be ubiquitous, compelling? Think vertical. Without sufficient media sourcing, initiatives are forced to become ubiquitous, bleeding-edge. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you empower magnetically, you may have to disintermediate holistically. The interfaces factor is e-business. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to grow. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "networks" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end, open-source partnerships and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? ShadowLands has refactored the idea of paradigms. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to transform super-vertically than to deploy perfectly. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J++. We will syndicate the aptitude of metrics to integrate. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be six-sigma? Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, channels are forced to become intuitive. The power to cultivate dynamically leads to the capability to implement seamlessly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. The ability to integrate globally leads to the aptitude to generate interactively. A company that can synthesize courageously will (someday) be able to mesh defiantly. Without well-planned infomediaries, supply-chains are forced to become user-defined. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to reinvent super-strategically. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for regulating emerging niches? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be subscriber-defined? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think proactive. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without communities, you will lack implementation. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think six-sigma. Think C2C2B. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"?