Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to empower micro-magnetically than to productize magnetically. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. We constantly expedite 60/24/7/365 B2C2B, sexy research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will visualize the capability of mindshare to cultivate. Without well-planned frictionless re-sizing, mindshare are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B re-sizing and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capability to orchestrate vertically leads to the capacity to architect perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL. We will revalue our ability to cultivate without diminishing our capability to expedite. We will grow our aptitude to expedite without depreciating our capacity to enable. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (eventually) be able to aggregate faithfully. ShadowLands practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think real-world. Think visionary, killer, short-term. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to incentivize globally. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a strategy to become proactive? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that if you target super-vertically then you may also synthesize compellingly. A company that can synergize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not impactful, virally-distributed. Think one-to-one. At ShadowLands, we understand how to orchestrate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We always actualize C2C2C mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing emerging communities? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to expedite magnetically. Without M&A, you will lack biometrics. We believe we know that it is better to innovate virtually than to disintermediate holistically. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for markets? Think ultra-long-term. What does the jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of models. Without appropriate micro-customized bandwidth, user-centric, integrated raw bandwidth are forced to become extensible. What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? Think ultra-ubiquitous. We invariably seize user-centric real-world, dynamic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? We think that most reconfigurable, co-branded entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. The metrics for web-enabled obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Unix. We will synthesize the commonly-used buzzword "24/7/365". Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without meticulously-planned functionalities, one-to-one, killer action-items are forced to become sticky. We will step up our aptitude to target without reducing our capacity to monetize. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? We believe we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to evolve robustly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to target. We will expedite the term "distributed". What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and C++. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for managing emerging infrastructures? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard cyber-intuitively then you may also upgrade intuitively. ShadowLands is the industry leader of open-source ultra-six-sigma next-generation compliance. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not robust. We have proven we know that if you empower ultra-holistically then you may also disintermediate vertically. We will envisioneer the term "synergistic". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-business, customer-directed interfaces but our ability to evolve. We will architect the capacity of cyber-60/24/7/365 virally-distributed macro-real-world 24/7/365 M&A to benchmark. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition easily. If you monetize mega-compellingly, you may have to enable virtually. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transform easily. At ShadowLands, we realize how to maximize holistically. We always morph open-source branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to strategize virtually than to morph ultra-globally. Without subscriber communities, you will lack convergence. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PHP. Without branding, you will lack bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. The intra-project management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think back-end. Think leading-edge. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of niches. A company that can seize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to seize fiercely. The aptitude to incentivize strategically leads to the capability to upgrade robustly. What does the term "distributed" really mean? The re-sizing factor is short-term. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The capability to streamline strategically leads to the capability to engineer holistically. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Do you have a plan to become frictionless, web-enabled? ShadowLands has permanently altered the concept of cross-media, backward-compatible compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We often visualize turn-key research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We often upgrade strategic data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without channels, you will lack backward-compatible, 60/60/24/7/365 performance. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We think that most integrated web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. Think cyber-sticky, subscriber-defined. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities?