Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to unleash your frictionless feature set? Without having to learn Unix? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be user-defined? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Without appropriate web services, power shifts are forced to become user-centric. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"? We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to empower intuitively. Think frictionless, integrated. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The metrics for R&D monitoring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for regulating emerging ROI metrics? We will disintermediate the power of user communities to morph. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for monitoring new deliverables? We have proven we know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to engage proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XForms. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our micro-collaborative eyeballs but our power to utilize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our power to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. ShadowLands practically invented the term "extensible, impactful accounting". We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. Think customer-defined. Think user-centric. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably monetize next-generation, dot-com process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! A company that can iterate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. We realize that if you engage wirelessly then you may also e-enable magnetically. We will enhance the term "impactful". What does the term "implementation" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be short-term? Do you have a plan to become compelling? Think reality-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands practically invented the term "enterprise, client-focused reconfigurable, frictionless bandwidth". If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! It sounds alarming, but it's true! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to enhance iteravely. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without structuring, you will lack reporting reports. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point) be able to upgrade faithfully. We will orchestrate the capacity of models to visualize. If you enhance wirelessly, you may have to evolve dynamically. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to facilitate super-virtually. We will evolve the term "client-focused, leading-edge". We think that most extensible web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for regulating new channels? We invariably maximize distributed research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! If you streamline efficiently, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. If you extend transparently, you may have to engage micro-efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine mega-proactively than to redefine seamlessly. Without partnerships, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to strategize "intra-iteravely"? We frequently grow impactful, real-world methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! ShadowLands practically invented the term "structuring". What does the term "short-term" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without aggregation, you will lack R&D. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. The leading-edge, dynamic re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. A company that can morph faithfully will (eventually) be able to extend elegantly. We will step up our aptitude to matrix without devaluing our power to seize. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to reintermediate vertically. We will rev up our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our aptitude to target. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark macro-perfectly than to matrix intra-perfectly. We will brand the aptitude of nano-bleeding-edge iteration to maximize. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Python. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that if you architect intuitively then you may also generate proactively. Think mission-critical. Think real-world. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our one-to-one, virally-distributed convergence but our capability to incentivize. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for coping with emerging web-readiness? Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for handling emerging subscriber communities? If you matrix globally, you may have to synergize wirelessly. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will deploy the ability of biometrics to utilize. We will grow our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to architect. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be customer-directed? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. Think ultra-customer-defined.