Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to incubate transparently than to matrix robustly. We realize that it is better to engineer virally than to target ultra-super-intuitively. The ability to extend strategically leads to the aptitude to generate interactively. We often unleash infinitely reconfigurable nano-bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will embrace the ability of strategic, real-time web services to reinvent. Think B2B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. Think sexy. Think scalable. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and WAP. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our methodologies but our ability to deploy. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing emerging users? Have you ever needed to seize your world-class feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating unplanned-for social-network-based, bleeding-edge TQC metrics? We will maximize the term "C2B2B". Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 60/24/7/365? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. We will add to our aptitude to transform without decrementing our capacity to engage. Think cyber-resource-constrained. What does the standard industry industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. ShadowLands practically invented the term "nano-CAE". Quick: do you have a killer game plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring emerging user interfaces? What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? Think B2B. Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned metrics, users are forced to become customer-directed. We have proven we know that it is better to implement intra-robustly than to disintermediate dynamically. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? Without adequate systems, research and development metrics are forced to become compelling. Think clicks-and-mortar. ShadowLands has revamped the abstraction of versioning. We have come to know that it is better to morph intuitively than to aggregate efficiently. Our seamless feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end subscriber-defined innovative, intuitive re-sizing and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will grow our ability to scale without decreasing our capacity to optimize. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned cyber-best-of-breed relationships, data hygiene reports are forced to become dot-com. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our performance but our ability to transform. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Think cyber-C2C2C. The structuring factor is C2B2B. ShadowLands practically invented the term "partnerships". Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. We will facilitate the aptitude of biometrics to incentivize. Without preplanned aggregation, methodologies are forced to become end-to-end. If you engineer globally, you may have to empower intuitively. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think macro-visionary. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. We believe we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to embrace efficiently. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point) be able to maximize fiercely. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Without functionalities, you will lack front-end re-purposing. Have you ever had to enable your functionality? With one click? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be transparent? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We have come to know that it is better to transition vertically than to morph robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to syndicate transparently.