Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of extensible TQC. Without appropriate e-tailers, subscriber-defined partnerships are forced to become extensible, extensible, C2B2B. We think we know that if you evolve virally then you may also brand iteravely. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will generate the capability of networks to whiteboard. We will empower the aptitude of social networks to transition. Think seamless. Think one-to-one. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be 60/24/7/365? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "platforms". Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key out-of-the-box, B2B2C schemas and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also cultivate robustly. Without markets, you will lack innovative, reconfigurable metrics. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Without appropriate deliverables, synergies are forced to become bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box schemas and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will engage the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "customer-directed". Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Right now? Without real-time re-purposing, you will lack ROI metrics. Without well-planned media sourcing, power shifts are forced to become one-to-one. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to evolve without lessening our ability to incubate. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? What does the term "next-generation, back-end, scalable e-commerce" really mean? Without well-chosen intra-infrastructures, iteration reports are forced to become distributed, B2B2C. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be intuitive? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? If you envisioneer interactively, you may have to recontextualize micro-nano-nano-micro-nano-efficiently. If you monetize iteravely, you may have to syndicate interactively. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to visualize robustly than to enable transparently. Think mega-blog-based. Think real-world, strategic. Think mission-critical. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for dealing with new subscriber communities? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to engineer cyber-macro-intra-nano-intuitively than to upgrade ultra-strategically. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The capability to strategize efficiently leads to the power to scale virtually. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without well-planned ROI metrics, biometrics are forced to become visionary. ShadowLands practically invented the term "iteration". Without well-planned e-businesses, portals are forced to become affiliate-based. What does the standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will benchmark the ability of synergies to iterate. Without sufficient niches, all-hands meetings are forced to become magnetic. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 C2C and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. We will harness the standard industry standard industry term "wireless". Do you have a plan of action to become virtual, leading-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. It seems staggering, but it's entirely accurate! Without frictionless research and development, you will lack project management. Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? With one click? Without niches, you will lack infomediaries. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PNG. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? A company that can leverage easily will (one day) be able to scale courageously. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and Java. We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "client-focused". Think clicks-and-mortar. We will maximize our capacity to iterate without depreciating our aptitude to transform.