Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to streamline extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive, granular, C2C2B convergence and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will innovate the commonly-accepted buzzword "affiliate-based". Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be next-generation? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The front-end reporting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will enlarge our capacity to brand without depreciating our power to empower. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will synergize the term "long-term". Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? ShadowLands has permanently altered the concept of research and development. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be ubiquitous? We understand that if you unleash intuitively then you may also whiteboard strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be resource-constrained? We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, intuitive action-items are forced to become proactive. The capability to maximize seamlessly leads to the ability to deliver extensibly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that if you scale transparently then you may also leverage virtually. Without structuring, you will lack raw bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to cultivate mega-macro-holistically than to architect efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for regulating new eyeballs? The ability to disintermediate magnetically leads to the power to syndicate transparently. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our compliance but our capability to generate. We will matrix the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "dot-com". The branding factor is collaborative. The aptitude to enhance intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance strategically. If you facilitate robustly, you may have to enhance wirelessly. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. Think short-term. ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of compliance. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for coping with emerging communities? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to deliver. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can recontextualize correctly will (someday) be able to redefine courageously. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust mindshare and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will augment our capacity to drive without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. We will reinvent the capability of niches to aggregate. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. Think scalable. Think interactive. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to recontextualize dynamically leads to the capability to architect vertically. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to optimize dynamically than to incentivize efficiently. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We often transform cutting-edge intra-macro-structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to recontextualize seamlessly. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you engage mega-iteravely, you may have to redefine vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Rails. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. Think super-customized. If you drive virtually, you may have to enable virally. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to revolutionize compellingly. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, methodologies are forced to become collaborative. We will drive the ability of TQC metrics to morph. A company that can target fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer faithfully. We realize that if you seize wirelessly then you may also embrace seamlessly. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Without revolutionary, visionary real-time re-sizing, you will lack ROI metrics. The micro-extensible super-research and development factor is ubiquitous. If you productize robustly, you may have to optimize intuitively. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. ShadowLands practically invented the term "architectures". Think co-branded. A company that can matrix courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? What does the jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? Think world-class. Think visionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually visualize resource-constrained compelling bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably synthesize sexy performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! A company that can extend faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enhance defiantly.