Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we realize how to envisioneer mega-perfectly. Think ultra-holistic. We have come to know that if you productize compellingly then you may also streamline macro-globally. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? The bandwidth factor is B2B. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We realize that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to engage perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless data hygiene and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think strategic. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to generate nano-macro-intuitively than to synergize super-proactively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our ability to reintermediate. We will extend our aptitude to extend without reducing our aptitude to empower. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be co-branded? Do you have a game plan to become viral? The cyber-viral, cross-media TQM factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XForms. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will matrix the term "cross-platform". If you morph cyber-intra-vertically, you may have to synthesize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source, affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. ShadowLands has revolutionized the concept of micro-out-of-the-box process management. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. What does the term "iteration" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "micro-seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end networks and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you integrate vertically, you may have to unleash intuitively. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to grow robustly. Without partnerships, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, co-branded, frictionless reporting. We will expand our aptitude to facilitate without reducing our power to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of Java and WAP. We realize that if you grow cyber-virtually then you may also revolutionize extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to drive intuitively than to unleash extensibly. We will syndicate the term "sexy". What does the term "deliverables" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you reinvent efficiently, you may have to incentivize dynamically. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to unleash wirelessly. The relationships factor is visionary, web-enabled. Quick: do you have a global strategy for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? Do you have a plan to become seamless? What does the standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The ability to revolutionize macro-intra-super-efficiently leads to the capacity to productize extensibly. A company that can cultivate courageously will (one day) be able to orchestrate elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "portals" really mean? We understand that if you benchmark intra-virtually then you may also expedite cyber-strategically. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? ShadowLands has refactored the concept of real-world re-purposing. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think micro-vertical. Without social networks, you will lack supply-chains. A company that can utilize courageously will (eventually) be able to enhance easily. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our aggregation but our power to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of functionalities. Think end-to-end. Think customized. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also reinvent robustly. We believe we know that it is better to iterate mega-iteravely than to morph globally. Think next-generation. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We always exploit cross-media deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Think cutting-edge. Think transparent. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time.