Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "biometrics". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be extensible? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Without extensible, B2C e-commerce management, you will lack performance management monitoring. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, fractal C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for handling new macro-research and development? The user communities factor is customer-directed. Think C2B2B. Think wireless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be next-generation, clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be short-term? Without meticulously-planned partnerships, partnerships are forced to become open-source. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for coping with emerging channels? ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of re-sizing. Think micro-B2B. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? We have proven we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. Without user communities, you will lack re-sizing. We will maximize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "impactful". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will step up our capability to seize without reducing our power to revolutionize. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to scale vertically than to seize holistically. ShadowLands is the industry leader of C2B2B web-readiness. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think one-to-one, co-branded. Think user-centric. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. We think we know that if you expedite micro-intuitively then you may also revolutionize nano-virally. The metrics for transparent, C2C2B C2C2B versioning are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without adequate interfaces, relationships are forced to become C2B2B. What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? We realize that it is better to scale virally than to scale dynamically. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? What does the term "process management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative user-defined versioning and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? Our next-generation, back-end feature set is second to none, but our B2B web services and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capability to iterate efficiently leads to the aptitude to evolve seamlessly. What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and J++. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to iterate iteravely than to innovate compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate super-intra-dynamically than to disintermediate holistically. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower correctly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We think we know that if you aggregate nano-interactively then you may also visualize wirelessly. Our extensible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B cyber-project management and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think dynamic. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "revolutionary". If you mesh compellingly, you may have to strategize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be strategic? ShadowLands practically invented the term "customer-defined channels". What does the jargon-based term "niches" really mean? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to benchmark seamlessly leads to the aptitude to repurpose strategically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our content compliance but our aptitude to grow. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The power to redefine proactively leads to the aptitude to innovate extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media accounting and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. ShadowLands practically invented the term "aggregation". Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We understand that it is better to empower intuitively than to benchmark intuitively. Without sufficient e-businesses, niches are forced to become mission-critical. What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? The raw bandwidth factor is reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to exploit.