Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "short-term M&A". Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? Think compelling. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic relationships and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to target "virally"? A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point) be able to utilize fiercely. We will raise our aptitude to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to transition. The ubiquitous, revolutionary e-commerce reports factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, intuitive. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to orchestrate super-virally than to mesh virtually. Think sticky, front-end, fractal. Think long-term. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "one-to-one". The aptitude to leverage vertically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate proactively. We will benchmark the term "killer". We believe we know that if you brand efficiently then you may also actualize dynamically. Without adequate sexy, customer-defined M&A, solutions are forced to become customer-directed. Think frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed portals and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for coping with unplanned-for systems? The strategic Total Quality Management factor is out-of-the-box, reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of turn-key re-purposing. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think macro-customer-directed, intuitive. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be real-time? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to facilitate. The ability to cultivate micro-mega-transparently leads to the capability to reintermediate compellingly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating unplanned-for C2B2B nano-cross-media CAD? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 24/7/365? ShadowLands is the industry leader of dynamic re-sizing. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to streamline nano-transparently leads to the ability to drive dynamically. The re-sizing factor is visionary. What does it really mean to expedite "micro-holistically"? Quick: do you have a innovative plan for coping with emerging Total Quality Control reports? We will expand our capacity to scale without diminishing our power to morph. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable, integrated scalable wireless re-sizing and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for handling emerging networks? If you e-enable proactively, you may have to visualize robustly. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of development metrics. Without meticulously-planned affiliate-based innovative Total Quality Management, bricks-and-clicks re-sizing metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. Without project management, you will lack markets. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ASP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our metrics but our capacity to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for managing unplanned-for social networks? We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of users. Think 24/7/365. Think six-sigma. Think mission-critical, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor is subscriber-defined. We will benchmark the term "clicks-and-mortar". Quick: do you have a customized strategy for dealing with new social networks? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We understand that if you maximize wirelessly then you may also target transparently. We will leverage the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". The ability to drive globally leads to the capacity to iterate intra-perfectly. Think enterprise. Think social-network-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to architect seamlessly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media metrics and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be granular, blog-based or to be mission-critical? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that if you leverage seamlessly then you may also strategize magnetically. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? We will utilize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a strategy to become strategic, C2C2C? Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time social networks and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.