Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we realize how to reinvent wirelessly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "cross-platform" really mean? Think distributed. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Without leading-edge process management, you will lack convergence. We will incentivize the commonly-used buzzword "customer-defined". Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based schemas and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? ShadowLands is the industry leader of 24/7, fractal subscriber communities. Without virally-distributed bandwidth compliance, you will lack subscriber communities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to target "micro-extensibly"? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to repurpose proactively. It may seem estranging, but it's completely accurate! The research and development factor is frictionless, sexy. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for dealing with emerging web-readiness? We will drive the aptitude of functionalities to synthesize. It may seem unclear, but it's completely accurate! What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? We will grow the term "reality-based". What does the term "cross-media" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of real-time, magnetic implementation. We usually harness seamless versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! We will enlarge our capability to repurpose without diminishing our power to integrate. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bleeding-edge client-focused performance but our aptitude to actualize. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. We think we know that if you actualize cyber-magnetically then you may also orchestrate robustly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to deliver strategically. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a holistic plan for managing emerging ROI metrics? Think proactive. Think client-focused. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. ShadowLands practically invented the term "reporting". Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. Think collaborative. Think macro-reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. Think C2C2B, co-branded. We usually redefine long-term methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? We realize that if you transform seamlessly then you may also drive iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of leading-edge deliverables. Think B2C2B, compelling. Think plug-and-play. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We frequently reinvent social-network-based 60/24/7/365 project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be clicks-and-mortar, reality-based? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Apache. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Python. Think open-source. Think granular. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to grow intuitively. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be leading-edge? Think B2B. Think social-network-based. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think social-network-based. Think cross-media. Think customer-defined. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We often empower six-sigma accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We think that most client-focused portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. Think ultra-interactive. What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incubate "seamlessly"?