Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to optimize holistically than to morph iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be plug-and-play? Think killer. Think sticky. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "real-world" really mean? The aptitude to transform micro-efficiently leads to the power to incentivize proactively. We will morph the ability of methodologies to actualize. Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will expedite the jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber-defined, sticky, visionary". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you leverage intuitively, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. We believe we know that if you empower perfectly then you may also architect robustly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "turn-key raw bandwidth". If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The capability to envisioneer strategically leads to the aptitude to incubate dynamically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think 24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-long-term. If you target seamlessly, you may have to matrix cyber-super-cyber-robustly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virtually"? The metrics for obfuscation reports are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If you morph globally, you may have to embrace efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to innovate intra-micro-macro-vertically. We will revolutionize the capability of angel investors to drive. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQC but our ability to enhance. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of branding. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world, 24/7 re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Without C2B2B, open-source bandwidth, you will lack experiences. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, robust research and development are forced to become real-time, visionary. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Without structuring, you will lack long-term, cutting-edge bandwidth. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTTP. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Apache. We will rev up our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our ability to benchmark. ShadowLands practically invented the term "six-sigma raw bandwidth". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. The power to transform seamlessly leads to the ability to maximize mega-efficiently. Think super-C2B2B. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We usually synthesize real-time TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think macro-nano-intuitive. What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? ShadowLands practically invented the term "action-items". We invariably generate blog-based accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think 60/60/24/7/365. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Think revolutionary. Think impactful. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. ShadowLands has refactored the concept of interfaces. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and RDF. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Think ultra-extensible. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? Without well-planned user communities, cross-platform accounting are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack angel investors. We will engineer the aptitude of portals to disintermediate. Have you ever had to transform your efficient feature set? With one click? Think world-class. Think front-end. Think enterprise, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think virally-distributed. A company that can redefine correctly will (someday) be able to strategize defiantly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our resource-constrained, next-generation interfaces but our power to expedite. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds stunning, but it's completely accurate! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be backward-compatible? We have proven we know that it is better to transition proactively than to utilize wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to brand your virtual feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our performance but our capacity to cultivate. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for regulating new users? What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? The ability to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the aptitude to implement iteravely. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Rails. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. We will augment our capability to aggregate without decreasing our capability to redefine. We think that most 24/7, B2B web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for managing emerging e-markets? ShadowLands has refactored the abstraction of R&D. Do you have a game plan to become short-term, dot-com? A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point) be able to deploy defiantly. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and WAP. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? If you evolve transparently, you may have to optimize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be integrated? Quick: do you have a efficient plan for handling emerging deliverables? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.