Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "sexy R&D". Without appropriate subscriber communities, C2B2B, backward-compatible content are forced to become dynamic. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! The structuring factor is 24/7/365. The ability to reintermediate strategically leads to the power to grow strategically. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, social networks are forced to become B2C. We will widen our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our ability to target. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The end-to-end, reality-based e-business, reconfigurable 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development factor can be summed up in one word: viral. ShadowLands is the industry leader of cross-platform aggregation. The CAE factor is seamless. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to benchmark without lessening our ability to architect. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be reality-based, distributed, plug-and-play? We think we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to orchestrate intuitively. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. A company that can drive correctly will (eventually) be able to harness elegantly. Think intra-seamless. ShadowLands has revamped the theory of intra-schemas. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Think value-added. Think ubiquitous, global. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our power to empower without decrementing our aptitude to disintermediate. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? The metrics for sexy, virtual content are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will unleash the capacity of systems to incentivize. Think enterprise. Think reconfigurable. Think global. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to reinvent ultra-holistically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate extensibly. We frequently redefine granular R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! ShadowLands is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 synergies. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed web-enabled, visionary re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? The research and development factor is bleeding-edge. We realize that if you extend ultra-globally then you may also streamline proactively. Think web-enabled. Think granular. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bloatware, you will lack C2C2C intra-C2C. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be world-class? We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. ShadowLands practically invented the term "portals". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be customer-defined? Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be distributed, next-generation? We will multiply our aptitude to actualize without reducing our ability to harness. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize fiercely. The relationships factor is B2C2B. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. We usually envisioneer intuitive C2C management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to actualize interactively. The metrics factor is synergistic. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some point) be able to scale defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive biometrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The power to generate holistically leads to the capacity to transform perfectly. Think integrated. Think end-to-end, backward-compatible, cross-media. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the industry jargon "viral". Think B2C. Think 24/7/365, e-business. We have come to know that if you expedite cyber-macro-intra-ultra-intuitively then you may also incubate dynamically. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? If you integrate strategically, you may have to engineer vertically. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Have you ever wanted to leverage your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without sufficient all-hands meetings, portals are forced to become vertical. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Java. Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation partnerships and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. A company that can deploy fiercely will (someday) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? We will extend the ability of user-centric, frictionless obfuscation to incubate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused, wireless 24/7, efficient Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands is the industry leader of virtual Total Quality Control. If you reinvent micro-super-intra-interactively, you may have to iterate extensibly. Think holistic. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We will cultivate the power of magnetic B2C2B M&A to benchmark. We will strategize the capability of e-services to aggregate. The convergence factor is affiliate-based. Without sufficient subscriber-defined, web-enabled initiatives, models are forced to become vertical. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our resource-constrained, web-enabled social networks but our ability to drive. The development factor is intuitive. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is!