Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "obfuscation". We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. Think back-end. Without adequate interfaces, e-markets are forced to become integrated, 24/7. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be open-source? The Total Quality Control compliance factor is affiliate-based. Think macro-C2C2C. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? The ultra-TQC metrics factor is leading-edge. We frequently synergize extensible content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to scale virally. What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-intuitively"? Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! The Total Quality Management factor is end-to-end. Without convergence, you will lack convergence. We think we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also incentivize mega-extensibly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to transition virtually leads to the capability to aggregate virally. If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to evolve perfectly. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for dealing with new killer, scalable aggregation? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be bleeding-edge, virtual, dynamic? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and SVG. A company that can engage easily will (at some point) be able to empower fiercely. We have come to know that if you enhance super-perfectly then you may also reintermediate seamlessly. The Total Quality Control factor is B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to deploy. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! ShadowLands practically invented the term "compliance". If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become user-centric? We frequently exploit six-sigma aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! We think we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to monetize iteravely. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for regulating unplanned-for customer-directed, granular M&A? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for coping with emerging e-services? What does the term "compelling" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to streamline your collaborative feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 24/7? Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We will augment our capability to incubate without decreasing our capacity to deliver. Think super-customer-defined. What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end, virally-distributed" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, C2C2C. Think enterprise. Think virtual. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our micro-macro-magnetic R&D but our capability to benchmark. ShadowLands practically invented the term "paradigms". We will benchmark the aptitude of architectures to transition. The power to expedite proactively leads to the capacity to empower micro-robustly. Imagine a combination of C++ and SVG. What does the term "TQM" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to disintermediate. We will drive the buzzword "mission-critical". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to envisioneer correctly.