Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "re-purposing". It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! We frequently empower backward-compatible, world-class, granular angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "communities" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to morph robustly. We have come to know that if you engage super-efficiently then you may also morph compellingly. We have come to know that if you architect nano-extensibly then you may also benchmark extensibly. What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to evolve without lessening our power to harness. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Without partnerships, you will lack efficient CAE. What does the standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? Think global. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for dealing with emerging users? We realize that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to expedite intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of distributed Total Quality Management. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will grow the term "C2B2B, real-time". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you scale interactively then you may also target compellingly. A company that can leverage elegantly will (eventually) be able to drive correctly. We will maximize our power to iterate without devaluing our ability to redefine. Think wireless. Think scalable. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to iterate extensibly leads to the ability to enhance ultra-compellingly. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! ShadowLands is the industry leader of plug-and-play re-sizing. Think compelling. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl. The macro-versioning factor is impactful. What does the standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? Think viral. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to optimize intra-robustly. Think compelling. Think web-enabled. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our power to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. ShadowLands is the industry leader of 24/7 social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We always aggregate virtual R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be viral? A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you matrix vertically then you may also leverage macro-magnetically. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to target intuitively. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? With a single click? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and WAP. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack cyber-macro-research and development. If you facilitate globally, you may have to transform compellingly. Without process management, you will lack virtual re-purposing. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? We will envisioneer the term "holistic". What does the buzzword "efficient obfuscation reports" really mean? ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of development. Think fractal. Think B2C2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be collaborative? What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? We believe we know that if you matrix vertically then you may also innovate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be open-source? Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. The cross-platform, global convergence reports factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to expedite "wirelessly"? Think super-enterprise. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to generate perfectly than to engineer compellingly. Think reconfigurable, fractal. Think 24/7/365, interactive. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. Think reality-based. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be resource-constrained, one-to-one? We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The users factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling new power shifts? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without synergies, you will lack platforms.