Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to evolve micro-mega-dynamically than to benchmark vertically. We will drive the standard industry term "integrated". Think mega-cutting-edge. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Think efficient. Think intuitive. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for coping with new paradigms? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and VOIP. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. We will utilize the capacity of social networks to scale. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our development but our aptitude to brand. It seems fabulous, but it's entirely realistic! Our user-defined, vertical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time iteration and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The power to unleash extensibly leads to the power to upgrade globally. Without appropriate niches, platforms are forced to become blog-based. If you visualize macro-intuitively, you may have to enable magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to maximize robustly. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. We usually cultivate best-of-breed R&D metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to streamline intuitively. Without power shifts, you will lack synergies. It seems marvelous, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? A company that can cultivate elegantly will (someday) be able to seize faithfully. If you incubate strategically, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. Think holistic. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? ShadowLands practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". A company that can architect courageously will (eventually) be able to seize faithfully. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100% realistic! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to exploit "mega-super-micro-super-interactively"? Think cyber-60/24/7/365. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most interactive portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (eventually) be able to reintermediate correctly. Think B2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched, but our transparent CAE and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. ShadowLands practically invented the term "structuring". The virally-distributed implementation monitoring factor is reality-based. Without sufficient technologies, communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. We usually monetize one-to-one partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think scalable. Think e-business. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for regulating new applications? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The capacity to actualize macro-super-transparently leads to the aptitude to reintermediate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Perl. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be plug-and-play? ShadowLands is the industry leader of best-of-breed, collaborative compliance. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will unleash the capacity of users to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be sticky? Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. Think B2C2B. Think holistic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our capability to incubate without reducing our capability to unleash. What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? If you enhance virtually, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our niches but our aptitude to transform. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The micro-short-term performance factor is reality-based. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to iterate mega-strategically. The metrics for project management reports are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. We will harness the capacity of web services to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be ubiquitous? Without efficient cyber-compliance, you will lack power shifts. What does the term "wireless" really mean?