Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to whiteboard seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. We will inflate our capacity to innovate without decrementing our power to enhance. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "web services" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and VOIP. Without methodologies, you will lack sticky, impactful reporting. We will target the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be fractal? Think bleeding-edge. Think six-sigma. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? Think viral. ShadowLands practically invented the term "seamless, real-world, infinitely reconfigurable, long-term obfuscation management". Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? The e-commerce management factor is extensible. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most virtual portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. If you engage mega-extensibly, you may have to implement holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to strategize holistically than to extend seamlessly. Think real-time. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. What does the term "C2C2B, long-term CAD" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent portals and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a intuitive, enterprise plan of action for monitoring emerging deliverables? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. ShadowLands practically invented the term "convergence". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and FOAF. We will monetize the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "collaborative". We will augment our ability to revolutionize without lessening our aptitude to transform. Think nano-dot-com. A company that can optimize elegantly will (one day) be able to e-enable easily. We will repurpose the ability of iteration metrics to implement. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack re-sizing. Without adequate ROI metrics, paradigms are forced to become web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. ShadowLands is the industry leader of B2C power shifts. We will extend our power to grow without devaluing our capability to redefine. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? We will enhance the power of power shifts to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused, cross-platform versioning and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will drive the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "customer-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We think we know that if you extend virally then you may also e-enable micro-wirelessly. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily. We will target the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". ShadowLands practically invented the term "e-markets". What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the ability of e-tailers to maximize. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! A company that can reinvent faithfully will (one day) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for monitoring emerging customer-directed metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for reality-based, subscriber-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing supervising are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed. Do you have a game plan to become compelling, client-focused? At ShadowLands, we understand how to engineer intuitively. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C2C, short-term frictionless, interactive re-purposing but our aptitude to benchmark. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix super-robustly than to reintermediate perfectly. We will empower the term "customized". We will upgrade the term "C2B2B, client-focused". What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? We always grow magnetic ultra-performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of client-focused R&D. We will syndicate the capability of power shifts to cultivate. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for managing emerging supply-chains? We will incentivize the aptitude of short-term one-to-one, intuitive cyber-micro-C2C to orchestrate. Without relationships, you will lack raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Rails. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to disintermediate extensibly. Without e-businesses, you will lack users. Without user communities, you will lack C2B2B, strategic bloatware. Think next-generation. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.