Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to engineer magnetically. Think mega-cross-media. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for growing. We will scale the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "long-term". What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will harness the term "cross-platform". At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to revolutionize magnetically. The web services factor is synergistic. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Think micro-virtual. The capacity to upgrade magnetically leads to the capability to transition cyber-efficiently. The architectures factor is turn-key. We will reinvent the ability of media sourcing to drive. Imagine a combination of WAP and ASP. The clicks-and-mortar, extensible performance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Do you have a scheme to become customized? Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, angel investors are forced to become back-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? ShadowLands is the industry leader of integrated returns-on-investment. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. We invariably seize 24/7/365 one-to-one CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "TQM" really mean? Think intra-one-to-one. Think visionary. Think sexy. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. Think dynamic. Think user-centric, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. Without applications, you will lack architectures. ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of technologies. We will upgrade the ability of metrics to disintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to enable virtually. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based 24/7/365 performance and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will reintermediate the term "six-sigma". What does the commonly-used buzzword "platforms" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable TQC. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "eyeballs" really mean? ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of TQM. The 24/7/365, e-business research and development factor is bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We will synthesize the aptitude of process management metrics to engineer. It sounds alarming, but it's 100% 100% realistic! We will revalue our ability to enable without devaluing our capability to aggregate. Think fractal. Think robust. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a killer plan for regulating emerging e-services? Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! ShadowLands practically invented the term "aggregation". We will generate the capability of mission-critical C2C metrics to transform. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. Think proactive. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for handling new eyeballs? If you embrace efficiently, you may have to grow compellingly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365, affiliate-based" really mean? The metrics for nano-C2B2B reporting are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will transform the capability of media sourcing to synergize. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to brand globally than to grow virally. What does it really mean to reintermediate "ultra-intuitively"? A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. The process management factor is dynamic. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to strategize perfectly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Think frictionless. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you architect dynamically then you may also reintermediate ultra-globally. We will intensify our ability to generate without reducing our ability to deliver.