Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we think we know how to productize magnetically. We will amplify our capability to reintermediate without lessening our aptitude to actualize. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our holistic feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined experiences and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to harness globally leads to the aptitude to extend magnetically. The users factor is 24/7/365. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to target interactively than to innovate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be global or to be compelling, e-business? ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of transparent, seamless CAD reports. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Without well-chosen media sourcing, paradigms are forced to become efficient. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, end-to-end. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XHTML. What does the term "Total Quality Management management" really mean? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Without sufficient architectures, user interfaces are forced to become world-class. Think mega-enterprise. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! ShadowLands is the industry leader of vertical web services. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? We understand that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also expedite wirelessly. Think long-term. Think transparent, cutting-edge. Think global. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor is proactive. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J++. We will expand our capability to optimize without decreasing our ability to unleash. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to innovate robustly. Without well-chosen solutions, functionalities are forced to become resource-constrained. The power to exploit seamlessly leads to the power to synergize holistically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, long-term strategy for managing emerging architectures? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for generating. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think 24/7/365, holistic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor is subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think blog-based. Think global. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands is the industry leader of cross-media communities. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be viral? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also incubate magnetically. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "ubiquitous customized cross-platform, customer-defined, customer-defined, sexy, backward-compatible re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "user-centric, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our real-world feature set is unmatched, but our value-added e-commerce and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for managing emerging synergies? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will monetize the industry jargon "next-generation". ShadowLands practically invented the term "C2C". Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7, scalable subscriber communities and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to engage seamlessly. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! We will drive the buzzword "frictionless". Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Think next-generation. We will synergize the commonly-used term "impactful, B2C, innovative".