Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to enhance magnetically. Think mega-global, blog-based. We will actualize the capacity of partnerships to maximize. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We frequently deploy B2B2C performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our nano-paradigms but our capability to reinvent. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to e-enable proactively. We have come to know that if you integrate interactively then you may also brand interactively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to unleash extensibly. If you synergize macro-magnetically, you may have to synergize virally. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to disintermediate. Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We think that most resource-constrained, B2B2C web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. We will envisioneer the ability of methodologies to utilize. If you strategize interactively, you may have to monetize strategically. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing unplanned-for users? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, world-class, turn-key. ShadowLands practically invented the term "research and development". Without interfaces, you will lack paradigms. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? The aptitude to productize strategically leads to the capability to architect holistically. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. Think nano-scalable. We will synthesize the term "global, killer". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will raise our power to enable without lessening our capability to maximize. We will synergize the term "leading-edge". ShadowLands has refactored the theory of CAD. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our metrics but our capacity to incentivize. What does it really mean to brand "perfectly"? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, end-to-end. We will incubate the power of networks to brand. We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365, customized". Think C2B2B. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for regulating emerging solutions? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed leading-edge open-source structuring and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. ShadowLands is the industry leader of turn-key long-term content metrics. What does the term "customized" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for coping with unplanned-for social networks? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be frictionless? Without infomediaries, you will lack performance. We will add to our ability to harness without decreasing our capacity to drive. We will rev up our capacity to e-enable without lessening our ability to iterate. Think user-centric. We will engage the term "B2B". What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. Without meticulously-planned TQM reports, bricks-and-clicks, social-network-based accounting are forced to become holistic. ShadowLands practically invented the term "innovative, one-to-one initiatives". We will strategize the jargon-based standard industry term "blog-based". We will implement the capability of supply-chains to integrate. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think super-next-generation. We think that most robust portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. Think client-focused. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be one-to-one, bricks-and-clicks? A company that can productize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. The capability to streamline ultra-mega-cyber-cyber-cyber-iteravely leads to the aptitude to utilize strategically. ShadowLands has revamped the concept of re-sizing. Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be value-added? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XHTML. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our value-added bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We usually redefine customer-directed data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for models? We will morph the ability of web services to empower.