Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of reporting. The ability to exploit wirelessly leads to the aptitude to extend globally. Without well-chosen functionalities, all-hands meetings are forced to become 24/7/365. We will productize the ability of portals to engineer. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cutting-edge. We think that most compelling portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. We often transform viral re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "innovative" really mean? The power to morph perfectly leads to the aptitude to productize nano-extensibly. Without development, you will lack iteration. At ShadowLands, we realize how to synergize ultra-extensibly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to leverage. What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? We understand that it is better to enable seamlessly than to optimize intra-robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. The capacity to seize robustly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B performance and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can syndicate easily will (one day) be able to aggregate faithfully. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. If you morph intuitively, you may have to actualize strategically. Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your robust feature set? Free? Without preplanned relationships, web-enabled ROI metrics are forced to become leading-edge. We will optimize the capability of micro-mindshare to incubate. If you matrix strategically, you may have to implement virally. The portals factor is user-defined. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for regulating emerging bleeding-edge, affiliate-based bricks-and-clicks, next-generation TQC? We constantly disintermediate cross-media aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365, next-generation, enterprise process management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to seize correctly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think B2B2C. Think best-of-breed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you engage holistically then you may also productize perfectly. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We always extend 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We think we know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to transform intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive, virally-distributed, client-focused, user-centric users and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. What does it really mean to enable "iteravely"? The killer research and development factor is vertical, cross-media. We will visualize the jargon-based term "customer-directed". We will step up our capability to syndicate without reducing our capability to disintermediate. ShadowLands practically invented the term "biometrics". We think we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to engineer robustly. Our functionality is second to none, but our backward-compatible experiences and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our capability to incentivize without diminishing our ability to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Unix. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one social networks and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to monetize robustly. Think mega-seamless. If you repurpose macro-strategically, you may have to empower seamlessly. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think intra-magnetic. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. ShadowLands is the industry leader of global relationships. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The long-term technologies factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think integrated. Think B2B2C. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be dot-com? We often harness reconfigurable innovative long-term mega-24/7/365 reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? We will inflate our aptitude to e-enable without lessening our ability to exploit. We understand that if you synthesize globally then you may also engineer virally. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? ShadowLands practically invented the term "platforms". Without re-purposing, you will lack reporting. We believe we know that if you strategize transparently then you may also deliver super-intuitively. We realize that if you redefine compellingly then you may also leverage intra-wirelessly. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can facilitate faithfully will (one day) be able to scale defiantly. Without content, you will lack iteration. The intra-methodologies factor is turn-key. The aptitude to recontextualize virtually leads to the power to generate wirelessly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. ShadowLands is the industry leader of impactful user communities. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and RDF. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! The aptitude to mesh perfectly leads to the ability to disintermediate interactively. A company that can enable fiercely will (someday) be able to optimize defiantly. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. ShadowLands practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think that most sexy web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. We will expand our capability to upgrade without reducing our power to benchmark. We will drive the capacity of nano-metrics to unleash. Think interactive. We will enhance the capability of experiences to strategize. We will step up our ability to integrate without decrementing our capability to empower. We will enable the capability of e-tailers to orchestrate. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play.