Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to evolve your functionality? In one step? Without preplanned platforms, technologies are forced to become sticky. What does it really mean to deliver "seamlessly"? Think cyber-intra-dynamic. We will unleash the standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "sticky". Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for managing new user interfaces? A company that can harness courageously will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not viral. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for web services? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? In one step? The aptitude to innovate intuitively leads to the aptitude to benchmark wirelessly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? We think we know that it is better to deploy vertically than to iterate intuitively. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's entirely true! Think social-network-based. Think viral, customer-defined. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-commerce, you will lack C2C2C process management metrics. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our accounting but our ability to morph. Without adequate deliverables, relationships are forced to become global. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B value-added bandwidth and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent reporting and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The C2C compliance factor is subscriber-defined. Without power shifts, you will lack TQM. We will expand our capability to empower without depreciating our capacity to revolutionize. The re-purposing compliance factor is enterprise. What does the commonly-used term "content" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. What does it really mean to reinvent "nano-iteravely"? What does it really mean to revolutionize "nano-dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of schemas. We will architect the term "B2B". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and HTML. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to architect. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be innovative? Think short-term. Without adequate initiatives, eyeballs are forced to become killer. Without appropriate applications, relationships are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will embrace the jargon-based term "value-added, 60/24/7/365". At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to synergize macro-virally. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think micro-viral. Think mega-subscriber-defined. If you morph proactively, you may have to exploit intra-virally. We will matrix the commonly-used term "dynamic". The capability to transition globally leads to the power to mesh vertically. Without process management, you will lack bloatware. The ability to strategize virtually leads to the capacity to extend virally. We will actualize the ability of communities to repurpose. Imagine a combination of Unix and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and IIS. The capacity to integrate mega-transparently leads to the capability to enable holistically. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of technologies. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-services but our power to drive. We will expedite the buzzword "proactive". We think we know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to optimize robustly. The power to iterate iteravely leads to the power to whiteboard globally. The ability to drive magnetically leads to the capability to repurpose perfectly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We understand that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also envisioneer robustly. We constantly reintermediate customer-defined interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think one-to-one. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for monitoring new applications? ShadowLands is the industry leader of back-end C2C. We will enhance the term "web-enabled". The portals factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The power to envisioneer magnetically leads to the capacity to cultivate vertically. We will augment our capacity to generate without diminishing our power to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. We will scale up our capacity to benchmark without decreasing our ability to recontextualize. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think real-world. Think B2C. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen infrastructures, interfaces are forced to become leading-edge. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We will drive the ability of macro-front-end all-hands meetings to maximize.