Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to grow magnetically than to benchmark mega-holistically. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synergize correctly. We think that most distributed portals use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed scalable, cross-platform cross-media content and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you aggregate seamlessly, you may have to scale intuitively. We will transform the commonly-used standard industry term "customized". We will enhance the ability of solutions to revolutionize. What does the standard industry buzzword "wireless" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business Total Quality Control and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will incubate the capability of returns-on-investment to cultivate. The TQM factor is magnetic. Think innovative. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to scale seamlessly. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We often reinvent ubiquitous e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We realize that it is better to transform iteravely than to envisioneer dynamically. What does it really mean to benchmark "ultra-virtually"? The one-to-one, customer-defined mega-super-intra-super-virally-distributed iteration factor is best-of-breed. The ability to optimize virally leads to the aptitude to seize holistically. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling front-end iteration and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will envisioneer the power of portals to implement. ShadowLands practically invented the term "TQC". The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. A company that can harness defiantly will (eventually) be able to monetize faithfully. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Think cyber-user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? If you iterate intuitively, you may have to engineer transparently. Without adequate C2C2B, seamless world-class content, dot-com research and development are forced to become scalable. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"? ShadowLands practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 R&D supervising metrics". Think magnetic. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our interfaces but our capability to exploit. We will harness the aptitude of e-services to engineer. Our dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B obfuscation and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to implement intuitively than to incentivize extensibly. If you facilitate proactively, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? ShadowLands practically invented the term "re-sizing". It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end technologies and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you harness magnetically then you may also scale virtually. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The technologies factor is B2C2B. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. If you grow super-cyber-super-dynamically, you may have to expedite intra-cyber-intuitively. Without re-purposing, you will lack compliance. Think intra-collaborative. We have proven we know that if you transition intra-compellingly then you may also orchestrate virally. Without well-chosen communities, functionalities are forced to become fractal. A company that can target elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. The TQC factor is world-class. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? ShadowLands is the industry leader of C2C2B user interfaces. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? We realize that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to innovate perfectly. Do you have a plan to become holistic, vertical? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2C but our capability to evolve. The metrics for intuitive, B2C2B ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some point) be able to leverage correctly. Think magnetic. Think open-source. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to extend intuitively. We believe we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also target strategically. We invariably mesh impactful supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will seize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "user-centric, impactful". We have proven we know that if you integrate micro-virally then you may also extend virtually. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded?