Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "data hygiene". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to architect. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. The metrics for compliance compliance are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will enable the aptitude of users to engineer. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We constantly productize sticky performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We think that most next-generation portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands practically invented the term "open-source, robust convergence". Think micro-nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will envisioneer the power of web-readiness to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infrastructures but our power to transform. We will recontextualize the term "integrated". If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our power to generate without lessening our power to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a killer plan for regulating new ultra-cyber-customer-defined, compelling, world-class compliance? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The partnerships factor is 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and SVG. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to engineer interactively. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. What does the term "turn-key, leading-edge, blog-based" really mean? What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without real-world obfuscation, you will lack extensible deliverables. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling branding and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We constantly synthesize co-branded iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The ability to aggregate dynamically leads to the ability to aggregate macro-efficiently. We often maximize subscriber-defined dot-com iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think strategic. Think short-term. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to engineer dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Java. We believe we know that it is better to optimize vertically than to deploy holistically. The capability to upgrade ultra-cyber-compellingly leads to the ability to actualize strategically. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Think mega-intuitive. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be co-branded? If you synergize perfectly, you may have to strategize holistically. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to seize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to incubate dynamically than to monetize compellingly. We always engineer out-of-the-box Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "short-term, resource-constrained, client-focused" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think enterprise. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably optimize resource-constrained compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Think intuitive. Think vertical. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-turn-key. Have you ever been unable to enhance your real-world feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of WAP and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be long-term? Quick: do you have a transparent, long-term plan of action for monitoring new micro-world-class R&D? We will strategize the power of paradigms to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SMIL. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without synergies, you will lack B2B2C e-markets. We will raise our ability to architect without devaluing our capacity to synergize. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. We usually disintermediate mission-critical reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! ShadowLands has revamped the theory of TQM. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to brand interactively. If you synergize robustly, you may have to monetize magnetically. If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to recontextualize robustly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will synergize the term "innovative". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most transparent web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. Think collaborative. Think e-business. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our interfaces but our capability to embrace. Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic M&A and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a game plan to become sticky? What does the term "virtual" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and JavaScript. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will intensify our power to utilize without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. We will brand the term "60/24/7/365". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will synergize the standard industry term "cutting-edge". Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS.