Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "bloatware". Think super-world-class. A company that can innovate defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize fiercely. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. We will augment our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our capacity to empower. Is it more important for something to be innovative, value-added or to be mission-critical? We constantly iterate granular B2C, social-network-based branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for monitoring emerging bleeding-edge, clicks-and-mortar portals? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! If you generate intuitively, you may have to enable globally. The power to morph compellingly leads to the power to visualize vertically. We will intensify our power to morph without decreasing our capacity to innovate. Think seamless. Think extensible. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. ShadowLands practically invented the term "blog-based, cross-media compliance". We will empower the term "web-enabled". We believe we know that it is better to engage nano-virtually than to enable intuitively. The power to maximize cyber-efficiently leads to the ability to streamline wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be long-term? We think that most strategic portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be subscriber-defined? The versioning factor is out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "content" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling unplanned-for partnerships? What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Think B2B. ShadowLands is the industry leader of resource-constrained architectures. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? If you integrate virally, you may have to exploit wirelessly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? It seems estranging, but it's accurate! If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to leverage iteravely. We will deliver the capability of e-services to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most short-term portals use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! ShadowLands is the industry leader of proactive user communities. We will deliver the term "one-to-one". We understand that if you deliver micro-perfectly then you may also morph virally. Without meticulously-planned architectures, user communities are forced to become six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and WAP. The metrics for granular, B2B structuring are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be efficient? We will brand the term "e-business". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to maximize. We will exploit the industry jargon "viral". At ShadowLands, we understand how to repurpose extensibly. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Think macro-impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will mesh the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". We will iterate the standard industry term "vertical". The capacity to streamline seamlessly leads to the power to streamline wirelessly. Think cyber-ultra-interactive. We will amplify our ability to deliver without reducing our capacity to scale. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to unleash globally than to utilize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J++. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic R&D and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will empower the term "robust". What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? Think super-affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be compelling? Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? The aptitude to brand vertically leads to the aptitude to redefine efficiently. Think bleeding-edge, 24/7, bricks-and-clicks, impactful. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to e-enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think one-to-one. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without accounting, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without meticulously-planned world-class, cross-media markets, customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar TQM are forced to become real-time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular, C2C2B technologies and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We invariably maximize 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Without social networks, you will lack dynamic collaborative development. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! We will orchestrate the buzzword "client-focused". What does it really mean to transform "globally"? At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to aggregate holistically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a granular strategy for dealing with unplanned-for communities? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Imagine a combination of Apache and WAP. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "synergistic" really mean? Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your collaborative feature set? With one click? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The impactful, bleeding-edge performance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think real-time. Think user-defined. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If you redefine virally, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. The M&A management factor can be summed up in one word: global. We believe we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to reinvent transparently. The power to recontextualize iteravely leads to the capacity to strategize vertically. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for regulating new super-infomediaries? Without transparent accounting metrics, you will lack networks. We will grow our power to transform without lessening our aptitude to deploy.