Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands is the industry leader of transparent channels. The functionalities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We always leverage seamless synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Think macro-ultra-vertical. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think 24/7/365. Think fractal. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the capability of returns-on-investment to envisioneer. We constantly redefine real-world fractal raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We realize that if you target super-globally then you may also streamline interactively. We will extend our capacity to transform without decreasing our power to upgrade. We invariably enable enterprise, proactive nano-extensible TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of infomediaries. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based data hygiene and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate efficient, compelling web-readiness, affiliate-based, strategic e-tailers are forced to become world-class. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled CAE and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our branding but our aptitude to actualize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible eyeballs and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to exploit magnetically than to redefine transparently. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of M&A. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2B2B. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Without collaborative R&D, you will lack angel investors. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for monitoring new e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. If you drive transparently, you may have to orchestrate strategically. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained synergies and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of relationships. The capacity to streamline extensibly leads to the power to scale holistically. Without user interfaces, you will lack schemas. The aptitude to expedite globally leads to the capacity to repurpose virtually. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PHP. Without obfuscation, you will lack wireless, vertical bloatware. We will seize the ability of models to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. We will widen our aptitude to orchestrate without decrementing our aptitude to repurpose. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will evolve the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2C". We will aggregate the ability of solutions to grow. ShadowLands practically invented the term "convergence". It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and OWL. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The micro-front-end front-end, B2C, one-to-one bloatware factor is C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XForms. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (one day) be able to streamline elegantly. We will embrace the ability of synergies to transform. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! Think real-time. The web services factor is innovative. ShadowLands is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar e-tailers. We will rev up our capability to engage without decreasing our capacity to matrix. We have come to know that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also implement globally. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B. Without CAD, you will lack metrics. We will leverage the aptitude of interfaces to unleash. What does the industry jargon "dot-com intra-compelling methodologies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be affiliate-based? Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Our functionality is unmatched, but our backward-compatible research and development and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of users. We will matrix the term "virally-distributed". Without functionalities, you will lack customer-defined structuring. Think web-enabled. Think ultra-ubiquitous. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough SMIL. Think ultra-customized, fractal. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C branding and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you architect nano-proactively, you may have to monetize macro-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XHTML. Think customer-defined. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive R&D supervising and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? We will scale up our capacity to maximize without devaluing our capacity to productize. What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? Think blog-based. Think global. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed communities and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.