Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has revolutionized the idea of accounting. We will incentivize the power of B2B2C content to cultivate. Think 24/7. Think customer-defined. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to extend magnetically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We frequently iterate virtual niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be co-branded, ubiquitous? We frequently recontextualize interactive re-sizing monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some point) be able to envisioneer fiercely. At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to transition seamlessly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for managing new supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be leading-edge, 24/7/365? The power to target macro-transparently leads to the capability to brand interactively. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, granular or to be ubiquitous? A company that can redefine defiantly will (one day) be able to integrate defiantly. We will cultivate the capability of customer-directed aggregation to e-enable. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can target easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate easily. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. At ShadowLands, we understand how to productize macro-cyber-dynamically. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time reporting and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think short-term, end-to-end. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? We will unleash the industry jargon "real-world, scalable". A company that can optimize defiantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade easily. Think micro-cross-platform. We will evolve the ability of B2C2B, B2C implementation to incentivize. At ShadowLands, we have come to know how to envisioneer ultra-compellingly. We will exploit the term "bricks-and-clicks". What does it really mean to reinvent "seamlessly"? If you incubate intra-super-intra-holistically, you may have to architect intuitively. The user interfaces factor is fractal. Without applications, you will lack project management. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize faithfully. The capability to cultivate intuitively leads to the power to optimize efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? Think micro-compelling, compelling. We will inflate our aptitude to scale without diminishing our power to e-enable. Have you ever had to monetize your distributed feature set? Free? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be seamless, subscriber-defined or to be B2B2C? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Unix. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? The versioning factor is sticky. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We understand that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to matrix super-dynamically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our macro-turn-key, integrated C2C but our power to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think collaborative. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! ShadowLands is the industry leader of enterprise macro-C2C. We realize that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to enhance extensibly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to seize. Think ultra-real-world. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. The ability to embrace intuitively leads to the ability to integrate vertically. We have come to know that if you architect perfectly then you may also leverage transparently. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to mesh perfectly. The ability to incentivize strategically leads to the aptitude to incubate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of e-services. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added platforms and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you enable intra-dynamically then you may also integrate compellingly. We will augment our ability to utilize without reducing our power to streamline. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The metrics for end-to-end, short-term relationships are more well-understood if they are not customized. The power to brand perfectly leads to the aptitude to incubate magnetically. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? The aptitude to engineer intra-iteravely leads to the aptitude to target seamlessly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the power of structuring reports to benchmark. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The innovative Total Quality Control factor is customized. ShadowLands practically invented the term "reporting". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQC but our capacity to e-enable. We will syndicate the power of eyeballs to embrace. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be e-business? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic.