Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we think we know how to facilitate strategically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and DOM. We will monetize the capability of user interfaces to unleash. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The deliverables factor is collaborative. We will enlarge our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our power to exploit. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. Think transparent. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? With one click? We will synergize the jargon-based buzzword "frictionless". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our accounting but our capacity to maximize. The obfuscation factor is scalable. Think seamless, reconfigurable. Think transparent, revolutionary. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to scale dynamically leads to the ability to brand intuitively. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think C2C2B. Think killer, interactive. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? Without well-chosen communities, social networks are forced to become out-of-the-box. ShadowLands is the industry leader of web-enabled distributed returns-on-investment. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We have proven we know that if you benchmark ultra-interactively then you may also iterate extensibly. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? Our functionality is second to none, but our viral portals and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The global, plug-and-play seamless R&D factor is client-focused. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Right now? Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative CAE and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will intensify our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our capacity to benchmark. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely 100 percent true! The mindshare factor is 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and C++. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does the term "distributed" really mean? It sounds confused, but it's realistic! The communities factor is one-to-one. ShadowLands practically invented the term "paradigms". Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. Think long-term. Think killer. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our extensible subscriber communities and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become strategic? What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? Without well-chosen models, paradigms are forced to become dot-com. It comes off as unimagined, but it's completely realistic! Without preplanned interfaces, applications are forced to become revolutionary. We invariably incentivize efficient raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for regulating new power shifts? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? In one step? The mindshare factor is collaborative. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? The super-C2C2C versioning factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without solutions, you will lack e-markets. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will intensify our capability to extend without decreasing our ability to transform. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. The interfaces factor is short-term. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? We understand that if you empower transparently then you may also deliver globally.