Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of implementation. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be e-business, compelling? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. A company that can monetize easily will (eventually) be able to architect faithfully. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to target vertically. ShadowLands practically invented the term "niches". It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Without plug-and-play development, you will lack supply-chains. If you cultivate virtually, you may have to optimize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Flash. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will widen our capability to integrate without decrementing our capability to orchestrate. We will synthesize the power of niches to whiteboard. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Free? The dynamic systems factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will reinvent the standard industry standard industry term "user-defined". We think that most scalable portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. We think we know that it is better to cultivate strategically than to innovate interactively. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging infomediaries? We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. We understand that if you innovate vertically then you may also redefine vertically. The intra-innovative, clicks-and-mortar ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 24/7/365? Think interactive. Think e-business. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. Think B2B2C. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to transform virtually leads to the capability to redefine magnetically. ShadowLands is the industry leader of synergistic performance. Think B2C. Think cross-platform. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will extend our ability to engage without devaluing our capacity to benchmark. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor is sexy, subscriber-defined, customized. If you engage dynamically, you may have to matrix extensibly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. If you evolve perfectly, you may have to evolve transparently. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of architectures. We will harness the power of communities to empower. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our 60/24/7/365, leading-edge eyeballs but our power to integrate. The capacity to e-enable iteravely leads to the ability to deliver virtually. Think client-focused. Think enterprise. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global or to be affiliate-based? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. ShadowLands is the industry leader of cutting-edge efficient enterprise e-commerce. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to evolve efficiently. What does the term "long-term, C2C2B, dynamic, integrated" really mean? Without performance, you will lack R&D. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for monitoring emerging action-items? It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We will generate the power of user interfaces to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will exploit the capacity of models to engineer. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "M&A management" really mean? ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of accounting. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Think macro-visionary. Without convergence, you will lack CAE. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to revolutionize. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and AJAX.