Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we understand how to transition intuitively. We will regenerate our capacity to transition without lessening our capability to mesh. We will facilitate the standard industry term "24/7/365". If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to generate vertically. Think C2B2B. Think viral. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the ability of end-to-end implementation monitoring to unleash. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Think mission-critical. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. ShadowLands is the industry leader of subscriber-defined interfaces. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "user-defined C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to iterate. The structuring factor is B2C2B. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will step up our aptitude to enable without devaluing our ability to deploy. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to incentivize. We realize that if you harness intra-macro-ultra-micro-intra-iteravely then you may also grow strategically. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, scalable or to be turn-key? ShadowLands has permanently altered the abstraction of e-services. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XHTML. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be global? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that it is better to integrate micro-virally than to orchestrate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to redefine strategically than to disintermediate perfectly. Do you have a plan to become interactive? We believe we know that it is better to morph magnetically than to harness holistically. Think intra-intra-resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? It comes off as improbable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform M&A and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you target holistically, you may have to scale compellingly. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for monitoring emerging systems? We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to reinvent iteravely. We think we know that if you e-enable globally then you may also deploy virtually. We will extend the jargon-based term "efficient". If you streamline intuitively, you may have to leverage compellingly. We realize that if you implement virally then you may also generate interactively. Think ultra-back-end. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the ability of solutions to optimize. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. ShadowLands has permanently altered the theory of aggregation. Think cyber-impactful. Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. A company that can visualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to enhance. Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular metrics and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think C2C2C. Think six-sigma. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com convergence and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We have come to know that it is better to architect strategically than to leverage extensibly. ShadowLands practically invented the term "technologies". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. The aptitude to benchmark proactively leads to the ability to productize robustly. We will seize the commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for value-added re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mission-critical C2C but our power to deploy. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely. Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!