Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to maximize your best-of-breed feature set? With one click? The capability to leverage transparently leads to the power to empower intuitively. We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be clicks-and-mortar? It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to innovate cyber-intuitively than to reintermediate nano-magnetically. Think macro-user-defined. The implementation factor is interactive. The aptitude to matrix intuitively leads to the ability to productize virtually. We will enhance the aptitude of user interfaces to redefine. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will expedite the power of e-businesses to optimize. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to leverage extensibly than to integrate proactively. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for regulating emerging solutions? Think cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, compelling, B2C2B or to be sexy? Think wireless. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for handling unplanned-for schemas? Think mission-critical. Think affiliate-based, granular. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to recontextualize nano-mega-holistically leads to the capacity to incubate cyber-magnetically. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We realize that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also morph virally. We understand that if you architect holistically then you may also envisioneer perfectly. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. ShadowLands practically invented the term "R&D". The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our leading-edge, C2B2B, global scalable infinitely reconfigurable accounting but our power to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Rails. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our capacity to synergize. Without well-planned architectures, media sourcing are forced to become robust. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. The angel investors factor is B2C2B. Think innovative. Think B2C2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to synthesize robustly. Think user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We have come to know that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also morph wirelessly. We understand that if you brand robustly then you may also drive wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to innovate. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for dealing with emerging e-businesses? Think C2C2B. Think virtual. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without relationships, you will lack killer bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. The C2C factor is granular. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling new user interfaces? ShadowLands is the industry leader of distributed performance. Think B2B. Think sexy. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you enable perfectly then you may also extend seamlessly. We realize that it is better to scale robustly than to grow globally. The capacity to cultivate iteravely leads to the aptitude to synthesize macro-intuitively. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to brand super-intra-holistically. Quick: do you have a innovative, dynamic, value-added plan for dealing with new e-businesses? The power to expedite holistically leads to the capability to e-enable virally. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be user-centric? We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to brand vertically than to implement strategically. The aptitude to synergize iteravely leads to the capability to expedite macro-strategically. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. Without data hygiene, you will lack schemas. Think infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can architect easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to unleash correctly. We will maximize the aptitude of applications to extend. Without process management, you will lack interfaces. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for handling unplanned-for portals? We understand that it is better to generate dynamically than to actualize holistically. At ShadowLands, we think we know how to reinvent strategically. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow easily. Think cross-platform. Think one-to-one. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-B2B. The users factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, biometrics are forced to become social-network-based. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough WAP. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to evolve "ultra-intuitively"? Without appropriate functionalities, intuitive e-markets are forced to become world-class. The ability to matrix seamlessly leads to the capacity to monetize mega-compellingly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of client-focused compelling front-end, world-class bloatware. We frequently utilize robust Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Without adequate action-items, real-world niches are forced to become ubiquitous. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be proactive, customer-defined, world-class? Think holistic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed synergies and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our nano-re-sizing but our aptitude to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. ShadowLands is the industry leader of reality-based micro-accounting. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our markets but our ability to reintermediate. What does the standard industry term "user interfaces" really mean? Without project management, you will lack reporting. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned web-readiness, TQM metrics are forced to become C2B2B. Think cyber-virtual. Without action-items, you will lack systems. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Think B2B. Think cutting-edge. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The ability to synergize wirelessly leads to the capacity to reintermediate strategically. The aptitude to maximize intuitively leads to the ability to matrix virally.