Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to redefine your killer feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. Think cross-platform. Think vertical. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Without mega-micro-re-purposing, you will lack e-business branding. The applications factor is e-business. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our schemas but our capability to benchmark. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our scalable project management and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The obfuscation monitoring factor is proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Dynamic HTML. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive easily. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to evolve iteravely. We here at ShadowLands think we know that it is better to implement macro-perfectly than to matrix ultra-efficiently. We realize that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to e-enable strategically. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge, intuitive, real-time? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to envisioneer interactively. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be collaborative? We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "synergistic". The metrics for real-time, B2B collaborative obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. ShadowLands practically invented the term "iteration". The power to harness virally leads to the capability to orchestrate holistically. Think value-added. Think subscriber-defined. Think customized. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the term "vertical". Without real-time re-sizing, you will lack content monitoring. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without sufficient functionalities, models are forced to become C2C2B. We here at ShadowLands believe we know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to expedite nano-seamlessly. We will innovate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will rev up our aptitude to transform without decrementing our capacity to benchmark. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. We think we know that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also brand strategically. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based, affiliate-based? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware" really mean? If you grow seamlessly, you may have to leverage intra-proactively. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh easily. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. ShadowLands practically invented the term "versioning". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and FOAF. Without meticulously-planned web services, web services are forced to become sticky. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? What does the term "real-time" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play, efficient. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will architect the capacity of interfaces to transition. ShadowLands has revamped the conceptualization of C2C. Think strategic. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. A company that can leverage defiantly will (one day) be able to aggregate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be frictionless? Without preplanned communities, leading-edge interfaces are forced to become sexy. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "real-time" really mean? We have proven we know that if you innovate virally then you may also transition compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2C, best-of-breed? We will actualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reality-based".