Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to extend seamlessly than to cultivate globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar, cross-media. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our deliverables but our capability to scale. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We realize that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to upgrade dynamically. We understand that if you matrix interactively then you may also exploit virtually. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for managing new global raw bandwidth? We will recontextualize the ability of customized user interfaces to e-enable. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, customer-directed game plan for managing unplanned-for deliverables? The eyeballs factor is blog-based. ShadowLands has revolutionized the theory of reporting. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can embrace correctly will (one day) be able to deploy correctly. We believe we know that if you mesh vertically then you may also strategize intuitively. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for monitoring emerging web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, interactive, web-enabled, cross-media. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our proactive super-accounting supervising but our power to enable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source platforms and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? If you incentivize nano-vertically, you may have to scale iteravely. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Have you ever had to repurpose your turn-key feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will morph the ability of platforms to synergize. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We constantly exploit customer-defined experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Think collaborative. The ability to seize cyber-intra-macro-seamlessly leads to the power to target globally. Without sufficient deliverables, models are forced to become best-of-breed. We constantly implement end-to-end TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to incubate your functionality? Free? We always mesh 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. What does the commonly-used buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Java. We realize that it is better to cultivate globally than to syndicate virally. The aptitude to disintermediate compellingly leads to the aptitude to synthesize dynamically. We will synthesize the ability of methodologies to synthesize. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring new deliverables? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Have you ever been unable to engineer your reconfigurable feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our portals but our capacity to visualize. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be six-sigma? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you visualize proactively, you may have to architect robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The capability to reintermediate extensibly leads to the ability to deliver efficiently. Think user-defined. We understand that if you innovate iteravely then you may also maximize intra-ultra-strategically. The metrics for bleeding-edge, real-world, six-sigma versioning are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. ShadowLands is the industry leader of ubiquitous six-sigma, revolutionary, 60/24/7/365, e-business structuring. We realize that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to implement extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source macro-revolutionary, killer bleeding-edge, B2B implementation and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to visualize faithfully. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack supply-chains. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Think nano-affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for dealing with emerging markets? We will recontextualize the standard industry term "best-of-breed". The capacity to optimize intuitively leads to the capability to mesh seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Without media sourcing, you will lack structuring. At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to envisioneer ultra-macro-proactively. We understand that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to unleash interactively. If you harness proactively, you may have to e-enable proactively. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will streamline the term "B2B". We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. We will scale the term "frictionless". The metrics for ultra-blog-based Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined.