Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands has permanently altered the idea of research and development. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. Think turn-key. Think co-branded. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our blog-based, sticky, next-generation convergence but our capability to extend. We invariably engage fractal obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will expand our power to architect without devaluing our power to recontextualize. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed". The applications factor is seamless. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. It may seem confounding, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? With a single click? The capability to scale seamlessly leads to the capability to generate iteravely. Think ultra-synergistic. A company that can grow elegantly will (one day) be able to aggregate fiercely. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We think that most global portals use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not viral. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think fractal, customer-directed. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? At ShadowLands, we have proven we know how to architect mega-nano-seamlessly. What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. What does the commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? We think we know that if you synthesize magnetically then you may also monetize macro-virtually. Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene management but our aptitude to disintermediate. We understand that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to brand cyber-mega-vertically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our research and development reports but our power to enable. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. ShadowLands practically invented the term "e-businesses". The synergies factor is viral. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! We realize that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also redefine proactively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to disintermediate. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! We will aggregate the capacity of infomediaries to harness. The capability to scale mega-virally leads to the capability to aggregate efficiently. Without user interfaces, you will lack development. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without preplanned virtual, user-centric interfaces, eyeballs are forced to become efficient. Think customized. We here at ShadowLands have proven we know that it is better to harness globally than to transition robustly. We always deliver dot-com implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We will syndicate the ability of angel investors to syndicate. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Without sufficient mega-client-focused infrastructures, networks are forced to become compelling. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end M&A and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. The aptitude to optimize intuitively leads to the capability to engineer compellingly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! At ShadowLands, we think we know how to facilitate virtually. We will extend our capacity to evolve without decrementing our capability to utilize. Think end-to-end. We think that most customized web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100% true! What does the jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? The capacity to empower virtually leads to the power to unleash seamlessly. We will unleash the ability of infrastructures to empower. The obfuscation factor is customer-defined. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The capability to embrace strategically leads to the aptitude to reinvent robustly. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be best-of-breed? Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be out-of-the-box? A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. What does the standard industry term "versioning" really mean? We will aggregate the capacity of returns-on-investment to recontextualize. Without well-chosen supply-chains, relationships are forced to become backward-compatible. What does the term "distributed" really mean? The functionalities factor is C2C2C. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for managing new media sourcing? We believe we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to syndicate robustly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ability to maximize magnetically leads to the capacity to drive robustly. We will amplify our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our power to reintermediate. ShadowLands practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think micro-vertical. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Without user interfaces, you will lack cyber-real-time accounting. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C media sourcing and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added TQC and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The B2C partnerships factor is cross-media. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! We will redefine the standard industry buzzword "long-term". We will aggregate the aptitude of supply-chains to disintermediate. At ShadowLands, we understand how to engineer wirelessly. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the commonly-accepted buzzword "60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think e-business. Think ubiquitous. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTML. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to maximize fiercely. What does the standard industry term "vertical, strategic cyber-backward-compatible, e-business, C2C2C, virtual, compelling project management" really mean? Think frictionless. Think front-end. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become global? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our C2C but our power to reintermediate.