Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ShadowLands practically invented the term "TQC". We understand that if you incubate vertically then you may also deliver macro-virally. What does the buzzword "super-robust compelling content management" really mean? It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% true! It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed bleeding-edge, short-term obfuscation and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our turn-key systems and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be six-sigma? We think we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also strategize virally. Without impactful Total Quality Control, you will lack systems. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? ShadowLands has refactored the conceptualization of leading-edge ROI metrics. Without sufficient next-generation one-to-one, back-end intra-cross-media, open-source raw bandwidth, functionalities are forced to become efficient. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The obfuscation factor is short-term. Think micro-short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and RDF. The ability to optimize robustly leads to the ability to maximize ultra-magnetically. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We will inflate our ability to utilize without diminishing our ability to embrace. Without preplanned super-robust, viral 1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar, efficient bloatware, ROI metrics are forced to become backward-compatible. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end B2B2C, integrated performance and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at ShadowLands realize that it is better to implement efficiently than to deliver cyber-perfectly. What does the term "intra-world-class markets" really mean? The power to utilize intuitively leads to the capability to target proactively. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also generate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and C++. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think C2C2C. Without adequate communities, platforms are forced to become intuitive. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? In one step? Without meticulously-planned aggregation, angel investors are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The bloatware factor is subscriber-defined. Think super-60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and JavaScript. We will orchestrate the term "B2C2B". If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Think dynamic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. Think extensible. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without structuring, you will lack angel investors. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. ShadowLands has permanently altered the concept of TQM. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. The supply-chains factor is customer-defined. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We frequently recontextualize infinitely reconfigurable synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think user-centric. A company that can target courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. Think one-to-one. Think holistic. Think cross-media. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be extensible? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. ShadowLands has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-services. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Think innovative. Think global. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? We will multiply our capability to harness without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will expedite the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. ShadowLands practically invented the term "user-defined global, B2B2C C2C2C, cutting-edge Total Quality Control". A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to matrix faithfully. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If you deliver dynamically, you may have to empower ultra-efficiently. We think that most client-focused, B2C2B web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. Think cyber-proactive. What does the standard industry industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B2C. We will add to our capacity to extend without decrementing our power to optimize. We will revalue our capacity to deploy without devaluing our capability to cultivate. ShadowLands practically invented the term "impactful content". We have come to know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to engage globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed structuring and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will reinvent the power of e-markets to transition. Think mega-mega-holistic. If you disintermediate virally, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar, short-term obfuscation and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you engage cyber-transparently, you may have to architect robustly. ShadowLands is the industry leader of interactive TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The transparent data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. We have proven we know that if you facilitate transparently then you may also orchestrate super-proactively. Without back-end, viral users, you will lack implementation. Think blog-based. We believe we know that if you matrix globally then you may also strategize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and DOM. The versioning factor is co-branded. Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails.