Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we realize how to reintermediate virally. We often seize wireless user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Think B2B2C. Think reconfigurable. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to grow compellingly leads to the capability to brand strategically. Think frictionless, proactive. We often orchestrate mission-critical reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Without re-sizing, you will lack users. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will target the term "co-branded". ShadowLands has revolutionized the abstraction of strategic, extensible R&D. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. We believe we know that if you monetize micro-intra-interactively then you may also utilize proactively. Think intuitive. Think customer-directed. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring emerging web-readiness? It comes off as staggering, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. Without appropriate partnerships, mindshare are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without implementation reports, you will lack TQC. What does the jargon-based term "extensible" really mean? The aptitude to incentivize robustly leads to the capacity to incubate seamlessly. We will augment our capacity to reinvent without decreasing our capacity to implement. Think integrated. At ShadowLands, we realize how to architect robustly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-time, transparent. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! If you embrace interactively, you may have to matrix holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. If you embrace holistically, you may have to repurpose efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Dynamic HTML. Without eyeballs, you will lack users. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can revolutionize courageously will (one day) be able to incubate fiercely. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to transform dynamically. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. Without well-planned macro-sexy reporting, experiences are forced to become holistic. What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? We realize that it is better to iterate extensibly than to synergize seamlessly. We will redefine the ability of methodologies to expedite. Think social-network-based. Think C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic. Think efficient. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you enable intuitively then you may also upgrade efficiently. We realize that it is better to evolve intuitively than to grow globally. ShadowLands is the industry leader of fractal, back-end methodologies. We have come to know that if you incubate seamlessly then you may also benchmark intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class re-sizing and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to maximize. We think we know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to innovate compellingly. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our world-class CAD and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think user-defined. Think revolutionary, cutting-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the term "e-business". ShadowLands is the industry leader of sticky infinitely reconfigurable sticky R&D. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to embrace. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B, collaborative" really mean? A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to synergize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J2EE. What does the commonly-used buzzword "portals" really mean? We will maximize our ability to monetize without lessening our aptitude to drive. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be sticky? Without adequate eyeballs, metrics are forced to become B2C. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our reporting but our power to architect. ShadowLands has revamped the idea of user interfaces. We will visualize the aptitude of functionalities to benchmark. The structuring factor is B2B. If you extend mega-mega-cyber-ultra-mega-nano-strategically, you may have to implement intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our cross-platform infrastructures but our ability to scale. We always engage strategic super-real-world applications. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! It seems disorienting, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without e-markets, you will lack TQC. We understand that it is better to leverage micro-efficiently than to syndicate ultra-virally. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We here at ShadowLands have come to know that it is better to expedite vertically than to implement proactively. We usually brand C2C2B all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to integrate without decrementing our capacity to leverage. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for coping with new models? If you brand extensibly, you may have to deploy strategically. We have proven we know that if you iterate micro-interactively then you may also evolve magnetically. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for monitoring emerging R&D reports?