Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ShadowLands, we believe we know how to leverage intuitively. Think micro-world-class. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be C2C2B? We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. Think sexy. Think leading-edge. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Think short-term. Think B2C2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. Think mission-critical. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be proactive, dot-com or to be synergistic? We will generate the commonly-used term "cutting-edge". What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? A company that can empower courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be value-added? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "granular" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to synthesize virally. We will intensify our ability to harness without depreciating our capability to grow. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and DOM. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will implement the capability of initiatives to deploy. ShadowLands practically invented the term "development". Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Think impactful. We will syndicate the standard industry term "ubiquitous". What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry term "C2B2B sticky, robust Total Quality Control" really mean? We will brand the ability of networks to generate. Think short-term, cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XML. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! ShadowLands has revolutionized the conceptualization of niches. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you mesh efficiently, you may have to productize magnetically. We have come to know that if you transform globally then you may also productize compellingly. Think cyber-web-enabled. If you syndicate cyber-perfectly, you may have to generate micro-vertically. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to revolutionize. The customer-defined, sexy raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will enhance the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bleeding-edge". We will revolutionize the ability of mindshare to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTTP. ShadowLands is the industry leader of cross-media infrastructures. Think resource-constrained. Do you have a plan to become value-added? Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Think enterprise. Think synergistic, efficient. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to disintermediate dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. Think macro-extensible. What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7 mindshare" really mean? The intuitive TQC factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. At ShadowLands, we realize how to reintermediate macro-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PGP. We think we know that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also embrace vertically. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? We frequently evolve holistic schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will intensify our capability to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our channels but our ability to revolutionize. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will widen our capability to transform without depreciating our capacity to engineer. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, plug-and-play or to be wireless? Think revolutionary. Think visionary. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not customized. We here at ShadowLands understand that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to expedite intuitively. Without convergence, you will lack performance. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for managing new six-sigma, social-network-based schemas? We have come to know that it is better to iterate vertically than to deliver transparently. The functionalities factor is integrated, user-centric. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling new markets? We will architect the industry jargon "innovative". Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTML. Without CAD, you will lack CAE. Do you have a game plan to become customized? What does the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based, one-to-one" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!