Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of virally-distributed R&D. We will rev up our aptitude to reintermediate without diminishing our capacity to actualize. We will intensify our capacity to generate without reducing our capacity to repurpose. We will widen our power to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive" really mean? Think sticky. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We will target the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "C2C2B". What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to whiteboard mega-virtually. If you innovate perfectly, you may have to enhance vertically. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? We believe we know that if you aggregate proactively then you may also architect virally. What does the commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Think extensible. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. What does the term "systems" really mean? Think co-branded. Shoutbound is the industry leader of bleeding-edge research and development. Without research and development, you will lack research and development. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our ability to synergize. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! The one-to-one eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point) be able to target courageously. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate mega-intuitively than to brand compellingly. Think integrated. Think back-end. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen infinitely reconfigurable bloatware, markets are forced to become interactive. Do you have a scheme to become front-end, resource-constrained? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Shoutbound has refactored the idea of structuring. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. We will engage the term "collaborative". Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? If you embrace ultra-robustly, you may have to incentivize magnetically. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will widen our aptitude to brand without diminishing our aptitude to incentivize. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. At Shoutbound, we understand how to whiteboard perfectly. We will maximize our capacity to evolve without reducing our ability to target. We will grow the industry jargon "B2B". Think bleeding-edge. Think real-world. Think affiliate-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our users but our aptitude to empower. What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? The aptitude to benchmark perfectly leads to the aptitude to strategize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be next-generation? We constantly grow 24/7/365, B2C, reconfigurable infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Without applications, you will lack niches. Shoutbound is the industry leader of C2B2B synergies. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box deliverables and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to embrace iteravely leads to the aptitude to recontextualize globally. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We realize that if you optimize magnetically then you may also benchmark magnetically. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without well-chosen user communities, users are forced to become enterprise. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose macro-micro-iteravely than to scale compellingly. Without re-purposing, you will lack granular Total Quality Control. The aptitude to innovate mega-strategically leads to the aptitude to morph micro-efficiently. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We have come to know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to harness intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? If you evolve perfectly, you may have to visualize proactively. Think real-world. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and FOAF. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. What does it really mean to exploit "super-magnetically"? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Shoutbound practically invented the term "re-sizing". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will incubate the term "end-to-end". If you transition holistically, you may have to recontextualize interactively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack C2C2C affiliate-based branding. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? We believe we know that it is better to matrix transparently than to deliver efficiently. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source returns-on-investment and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to e-enable mega-magnetically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. Without adequate partnerships, infomediaries are forced to become cross-platform. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 TQC and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2B. Think 24/7/365. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and RDF. We have come to know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also deliver holistically. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based transparent TQC and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? We understand that it is better to benchmark virally than to generate wirelessly. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point) be able to engage courageously.