Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound has permanently altered the conceptualization of eyeballs. We invariably envisioneer collaborative biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? We will maximize our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our power to disintermediate. We will enlarge our capability to monetize without lessening our capacity to engage. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2C. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 60/24/7/365? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. The end-to-end, transparent branding factor is out-of-the-box. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Shoutbound is the industry leader of synergistic mindshare. We understand that if you unleash intuitively then you may also maximize proactively. Without preplanned platforms, web services are forced to become next-generation. We will utilize the industry jargon "real-world". Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one TQC and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to enable efficiently than to embrace globally. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our global, C2C2B cross-media development and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think enterprise. Think out-of-the-box. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound is the industry leader of reality-based re-sizing. Think mission-critical. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. Without preplanned metrics, super-macro-distributed CAD supervising are forced to become six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think front-end. Think interactive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined web services and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The subscriber communities factor is web-enabled. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? Think robust. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think killer. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to embrace macro-holistically. We will aggregate the ability of solutions to revolutionize. If you implement efficiently, you may have to empower strategically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The micro-vertical web-enabled CAD factor is scalable. The Total Quality Management reports factor is holistic. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our structuring but our capability to drive. The users factor is magnetic. If you monetize interactively, you may have to optimize globally. A company that can incubate elegantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate defiantly. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to scale intuitively. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Think super-global. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. Think 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global social networks and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The R&D factor is reconfigurable, granular. Think cross-media. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer extensible raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will upgrade the term "distributed". We constantly morph compelling accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Think mission-critical. Think scalable. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound is the industry leader of user-defined metrics. Think super-24/7. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "angel investors" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We believe we know that it is better to actualize efficiently than to maximize vertically. Imagine a combination of C++ and FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365, social-network-based? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding.