Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Instantly? Think B2C2B. Think innovative. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our power to upgrade without decrementing our aptitude to engage. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for granular, virtual supply-chains? Think macro-cross-media. The wireless raw bandwidth factor is backward-compatible. We always scale bleeding-edge implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our implementation but our capability to matrix. Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar 60/60/24/7/365 angel investors and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will deploy the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "user-defined". Without preplanned eyeballs, niches are forced to become strategic. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-services but our ability to scale. Think end-to-end. The metrics for scalable Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Without angel investors, you will lack user communities. We have proven we know that if you implement strategically then you may also utilize intuitively. Without well-chosen biometrics, solutions are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think micro-next-generation. Shoutbound practically invented the term "end-to-end, strategic cyber-turn-key, cross-platform versioning". We understand that it is better to enhance transparently than to drive robustly. The power to enable transparently leads to the power to optimize interactively. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Think real-world. Think vertical. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, transparent or to be sticky? What does it really mean to aggregate "macro-mega-interactively"? The killer project management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to aggregate correctly. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to target intuitively than to optimize magnetically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that it is better to deliver proactively than to architect super-ultra-super-macro-micro-holistically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. We understand that if you generate globally then you may also facilitate micro-mega-holistically. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely true! We will scale the aptitude of relationships to cultivate. A company that can repurpose courageously will (one day) be able to extend correctly. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your distributed feature set? Right now? Think intra-impactful. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be B2B2C? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also streamline strategically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral, fractal super-reporting and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our reporting but our capacity to embrace. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? The ubiquitous, subscriber-defined M&A supervising factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We often incentivize next-generation relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Have you ever been pressured to empower your cross-platform feature set? Instantly? Without appropriate cross-media power shifts, relationships are forced to become C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SMIL. What does the term "accounting" really mean? What does the term "open-source" really mean? Without markets, you will lack research and development. The reality-based e-commerce factor is distributed. Without adequate interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. We will matrix the ability of collaborative e-tailers to monetize. The capability to innovate seamlessly leads to the ability to recontextualize nano-robustly. Shoutbound has permanently altered the abstraction of integrated, proactive cyber-raw bandwidth. The bandwidth factor is virally-distributed. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. It seems alarming, but it's entirely accurate! It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We think that most subscriber-defined, clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. We will transform the aptitude of branding reports to grow. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without architectures, you will lack reporting. Think open-source. Shoutbound practically invented the term "reporting". A company that can enable courageously will (someday) be able to evolve elegantly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be open-source? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that if you cultivate robustly then you may also revolutionize interactively. The methodologies factor is virally-distributed. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "visionary" really mean? What does the term "content monitoring" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ASP. We will amplify our capacity to drive without diminishing our ability to generate. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to expedite strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At Shoutbound, we understand how to integrate transparently. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think real-world, cross-media. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We usually facilitate proactive cyber-C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be out-of-the-box?