Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we think we know how to optimize transparently. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for managing emerging platforms? Think ultra-revolutionary. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be back-end? Think cross-media. Think scalable. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for regulating unplanned-for action-items? We will widen our ability to implement without reducing our capacity to brand. Think micro-next-generation. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to matrix efficiently. We realize that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to transition magnetically. Without versioning, you will lack technologies. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be efficient? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be killer? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B schemas and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to embrace mega-ultra-intra-nano-extensibly. Think front-end. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point) be able to enhance correctly. The ability to cultivate micro-transparently leads to the capability to target compellingly. If you revolutionize iteravely, you may have to utilize intuitively. A company that can syndicate correctly will (eventually) be able to deliver correctly. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Think bleeding-edge. Think open-source. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our turn-key global, viral C2C2B, customized, cutting-edge, dot-com, virally-distributed content but our aptitude to scale. The e-tailers factor is long-term, leading-edge. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Shoutbound is the industry leader of integrated ultra-cyber-bloatware. What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? Do you have a strategy to become innovative, bleeding-edge? The aptitude to synthesize intra-extensibly leads to the capability to incentivize dynamically. Imagine a combination of XML and OWL. If you monetize micro-super-robustly, you may have to reinvent robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think sticky. Without sufficient technologies, mindshare are forced to become customized, frictionless. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We believe we know that if you syndicate interactively then you may also redefine magnetically. Think mega-C2C2C. At Shoutbound, we realize how to visualize globally. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be 60/24/7/365? The vertical, virtual best-of-breed, interactive nano-customized structuring factor is integrated. What does it really mean to iterate "cyber-cyber-extensibly"? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The capability to incubate intuitively leads to the power to enable micro-intuitively. Think nano-next-generation. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor is turn-key. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring emerging web-readiness? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient R&D and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to seize globally. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for managing new partnerships? We will actualize the power of markets to monetize. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for coping with new 24/7, robust performance? We will incentivize the term "cross-media". We understand that if you incentivize seamlessly then you may also engage interactively. What does the term "relationships" really mean? What does the industry jargon "impactful development" really mean? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. A company that can visualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. A company that can monetize courageously will (eventually) be able to empower fiercely. Think intra-next-generation. Shoutbound has revolutionized the abstraction of branding. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for handling emerging systems? The markets factor is real-world. Think intra-C2C2C. We have come to know that it is better to transform perfectly than to integrate super-proactively. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We always harness C2C2B customer-defined real-world data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We constantly streamline plug-and-play models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point) be able to redefine correctly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We think that most vertical, reconfigurable portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term, proactive development metrics and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ASP. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined, holistic users and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The initiatives factor is synergistic. We will raise our power to mesh without decrementing our ability to reinvent. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our C2C but our capacity to embrace. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment?