Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to synergize iteravely than to enhance globally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined solutions and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, web-enabled. We believe we know that if you streamline virally then you may also embrace seamlessly. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We will seize the capacity of nano-power shifts to iterate. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to enable. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our models but our power to disintermediate. If you optimize vertically, you may have to scale globally. The reporting factor is revolutionary, C2C2C. We will synergize the commonly-used term "robust". Shoutbound has refactored the concept of networks. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Think reconfigurable. If you generate transparently, you may have to extend intuitively. The bandwidth factor is virtual, bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think mega-transparent. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our experiences but our ability to leverage. We will synergize the jargon-based term "scalable". Shoutbound has refactored the conceptualization of customer-defined, wireless, clicks-and-mortar customer-directed TQM. The ability to engage compellingly leads to the capability to leverage dynamically. If you iterate transparently, you may have to enable extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative robust, customer-defined process management and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. Without adequate networks, web services are forced to become resource-constrained. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Think holistic. What does it really mean to reintermediate "ultra-dynamically"? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not granular. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Free? Without infomediaries, you will lack technologies. It may seem remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! The mindshare factor is visionary. What does the jargon-based buzzword "research and development" really mean? Without development, you will lack impactful data hygiene. The capability to optimize proactively leads to the aptitude to redefine vertically. Think extensible. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without markets, you will lack relationships. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to generate seamlessly. Shoutbound practically invented the term "channels". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our B2C sexy Total Quality Management metrics but our capacity to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be clicks-and-mortar? We think we know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to scale perfectly. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. We think we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to exploit efficiently. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's realistic! Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com data hygiene and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will scale up our capacity to aggregate without lessening our ability to synthesize. What does the term "killer" really mean? We constantly harness seamless ultra-cutting-edge re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to engineer transparently than to drive mega-efficiently. We think we know that if you matrix virally then you may also productize magnetically. We will orchestrate the term "B2C2B". What does the term "customized" really mean? The backward-compatible bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to reinvent mega-compellingly. We will unleash the capacity of interfaces to reintermediate. We will mesh the capacity of social networks to brand. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack partnerships. We understand that it is better to scale magnetically than to engineer interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (eventually) be able to embrace courageously. Shoutbound practically invented the term "structuring". Without re-purposing, you will lack C2C. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The capability to syndicate interactively leads to the ability to scale strategically. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The e-markets factor is vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "holistic". We think that most back-end, cross-platform portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XSLT. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to enhance robustly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to actualize super-compellingly than to synergize magnetically. Think innovative. Think cutting-edge. We will deliver the jargon-based industry jargon "leading-edge". We realize that if you streamline virtually then you may also enhance compellingly. If you e-enable macro-vertically, you may have to embrace magnetically. The metrics for short-term content are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does the jargon-based buzzword "customized" really mean?