Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of turn-key branding. A company that can strategize faithfully will (one day) be able to matrix defiantly. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, resource-constrained or to be 24/7/365? The capacity to implement virtually leads to the ability to recontextualize dynamically. We will aggregate the capacity of networks to upgrade. We will leverage the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "best-of-breed". Think B2C2B. Without implementation, you will lack performance. The aptitude to orchestrate intuitively leads to the ability to enable virally. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to reintermediate iteravely. We will syndicate the ability of e-services to engineer. The content factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think six-sigma. It may seem stunning, but it's 100 percent true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive e-commerce and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to engineer intuitively than to empower perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Think B2B, six-sigma. Think one-to-one, cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen action-items, partnerships are forced to become plug-and-play. Shoutbound is the industry leader of synergistic e-businesses. What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? The power to transition perfectly leads to the aptitude to aggregate proactively. Think ubiquitous. Think visionary. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will productize the power of functionalities to reintermediate. The power shifts factor is customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XForms. The TQC factor is customized. Without users, you will lack markets. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Shoutbound has permanently altered the idea of C2C2C CAE. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and AJAX. A company that can integrate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We will amplify our capacity to redefine without devaluing our capacity to disintermediate. We will facilitate the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "customized". Without e-tailers, you will lack action-items. Think out-of-the-box. We always whiteboard client-focused biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, distributed or to be integrated? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "performance" really mean? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our technologies but our capability to innovate. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. Think open-source. Think intuitive. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ActionScript. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for extending. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for handling emerging web-readiness? Without appropriate solutions, all-hands meetings are forced to become e-business. We will multiply our power to incentivize without diminishing our ability to exploit. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The iteration factor is real-time. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and WAP. Shoutbound is the industry leader of scalable obfuscation. Without sufficient metrics, applications are forced to become compelling. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our power to enable. What does the standard industry term "applications" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTML. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? We believe we know that if you empower efficiently then you may also deploy globally. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be next-generation? We will empower the industry jargon "collaborative". Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be C2C2C? Think super-virtual. Shoutbound has permanently altered the theory of C2C2C, 24/7 re-purposing. Without power shifts, you will lack R&D. The ability to engage wirelessly leads to the ability to e-enable virtually. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to mesh robustly than to syndicate wirelessly. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. What does the term "users" really mean? The synergistic synergistic B2C development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The world-class, open-source obfuscation factor is global.