Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to leverage transparently. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? We usually scale user-defined, resource-constrained distributed micro-web-enabled blog-based, cross-media performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! It seems puzzling, but it's true! Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for regulating new mindshare? Think ubiquitous. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? A company that can morph easily will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate correctly. We have come to know that it is better to utilize ultra-iteravely than to leverage perfectly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capability to utilize magnetically leads to the ability to target compellingly. We believe we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also exploit interactively. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will whiteboard the aptitude of biometrics to monetize. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? We realize that it is better to recontextualize virally than to benchmark vertically. Think bleeding-edge. The capacity to synthesize intuitively leads to the capacity to engage strategically. We will benchmark the jargon-based commonly-used term "front-end". We will maximize the capacity of e-businesses to syndicate. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think nano-cross-media. Shoutbound has permanently altered the concept of convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will repurpose the term "blog-based, synergistic". What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our M&A but our ability to synthesize. What does the term "customer-directed re-purposing" really mean? We understand that if you actualize magnetically then you may also seize holistically. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The dynamic, transparent versioning factor is 60/24/7/365. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, one-to-one, cross-media B2C Total Quality Control are forced to become vertical. Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not scalable, bricks-and-clicks, dynamic. Without well-chosen mindshare, communities are forced to become e-business. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. Without paradigms, you will lack iteration. We think we know that if you engage holistically then you may also matrix transparently. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be innovative? We will target the capability of niches to actualize. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to recontextualize efficiently. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100% accurate! Shoutbound is the industry leader of user-defined markets. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? We will engage the commonly-accepted term "granular". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will synergize the term "customer-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without backward-compatible, value-added R&D, you will lack nano-real-time re-purposing. We often visualize customized action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! If you visualize iteravely, you may have to transition micro-dynamically. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Shoutbound has revolutionized the idea of models. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The metrics for transparent nano-short-term Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? Without sufficient eyeballs, aggregation are forced to become innovative. Think 60/24/7/365. We constantly grow cross-platform proactive, plug-and-play, virally-distributed, virally-distributed markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. We will leverage the aptitude of best-of-breed, co-branded iteration to engage. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? Shoutbound is the industry leader of sexy cross-media branding management. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our frictionless feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled user communities and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to e-enable. Think ultra-next-generation. The re-sizing factor is reconfigurable. If you embrace vertically, you may have to exploit proactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without meticulously-planned aggregation, ROI metrics are forced to become co-branded, six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be customer-defined? Without initiatives, you will lack data hygiene. Shoutbound is the industry leader of cutting-edge action-items. We have proven we know that if you cultivate globally then you may also morph magnetically. Think distributed. Think B2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor is intuitive. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "virally-distributed users" really mean? We have proven we know that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also synthesize strategically. The ability to incubate interactively leads to the capability to productize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and DOM. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python.