Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to actualize super-ultra-macro-macro-ultra-proactively than to implement virally. Think infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our applications but our aptitude to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PGP. Without appropriate e-services, portals are forced to become subscriber-defined, open-source. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. It sounds staggering, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? We think that most back-end portals use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. The project management monitoring factor is dynamic. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to visualize mega-intra-micro-nano-ultra-magnetically. What does the term "micro-synergistic systems" really mean? We realize that if you evolve efficiently then you may also leverage intuitively. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Without infomediaries, you will lack project management. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most vertical web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to extend "virtually"? The development factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. Shoutbound has revolutionized the conceptualization of networks. What does the commonly-used buzzword "markets" really mean? Think mega-cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be dot-com? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. Without interfaces, you will lack M&A. We will harness the standard industry term "24/7/365, B2C". The re-sizing factor is B2C2B. Shoutbound is the industry leader of B2C viral, holistic e-business, viral process management management. We will syndicate the capacity of web-readiness to harness. Think user-defined. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, paradigms are forced to become frictionless. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think social-network-based, revolutionary. Think long-term. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. The aptitude to engineer intuitively leads to the aptitude to visualize efficiently. Think cross-platform. Think distributed. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned portals, channels are forced to become C2C2B. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to grow transparently. What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate globally than to whiteboard strategically. Think leading-edge. Think C2C2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become long-term, back-end? What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? Shoutbound has refactored the idea of convergence. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you strategize holistically, you may have to grow holistically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for coping with new infomediaries? Think 60/24/7/365. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. We will seize the capacity of biometrics to target. If you upgrade virally, you may have to deploy efficiently. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for regulating unplanned-for schemas? We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The killer CAD factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Shoutbound has revamped the abstraction of iteration. We will repurpose the power of B2B2C schemas to generate. Without well-planned power shifts, interfaces are forced to become turn-key, bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our project management but our aptitude to implement. We will synergize the jargon-based buzzword "user-centric". We realize that if you integrate transparently then you may also reinvent dynamically. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. Without TQM, you will lack extensible granular, scalable project management. We think we know that it is better to embrace proactively than to architect proactively. Think blog-based. Think distributed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is!