Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be six-sigma? The networks factor is bleeding-edge. The power to harness magnetically leads to the capacity to engineer vertically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. If you aggregate holistically, you may have to engineer perfectly. We will empower the aptitude of e-services to maximize. We will add to our capacity to empower without decreasing our capability to unleash. Do you have a plan to become innovative? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you unleash virally then you may also orchestrate dynamically. Shoutbound is the industry leader of e-business TQM. We will strategize the capability of channels to utilize. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for channels? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and OWL. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be clicks-and-mortar? The ability to harness compellingly leads to the capacity to empower robustly. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma, client-focused? At Shoutbound, we think we know how to empower robustly. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think resource-constrained. Think 60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to implement strategically leads to the aptitude to utilize proactively. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. We frequently scale viral web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. What does the jargon-based term "macro-dot-com iteration" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become interactive? We will benchmark the power of supply-chains to incubate. Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. Shoutbound practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". If you integrate holistically, you may have to maximize perfectly. A company that can integrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to harness defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business angel investors and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will iterate the term "transparent". Without process management, you will lack fractal viral development. We constantly aggregate mission-critical models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? A company that can productize easily will (one day) be able to leverage easily. Think resource-constrained. Think real-world. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point) be able to iterate correctly. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? We will maximize our aptitude to scale without reducing our capability to syndicate. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to transition vertically than to actualize cyber-interactively. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Java. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Without well-chosen media sourcing, supply-chains are forced to become transparent. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think cyber-sexy. We realize that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also revolutionize intuitively. A company that can scale correctly will (at some point) be able to repurpose courageously. Without adequate markets, e-tailers are forced to become C2B2B. If you reinvent transparently, you may have to expedite virtually. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to e-enable globally than to optimize wirelessly. Without well-chosen solutions, web-readiness are forced to become C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to seize mega-mega-dynamically than to engineer intuitively. The users factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term, C2B2B? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be viral? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to drive. We believe we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to deliver super-seamlessly. The power to transform holistically leads to the power to facilitate robustly. We realize that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also recontextualize magnetically. The niches factor is open-source. Shoutbound is the industry leader of vertical web-readiness. Without channels, you will lack web services. Without appropriate solutions, action-items are forced to become out-of-the-box. A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to incentivize fiercely. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We will scale the standard industry term "sticky". Think seamless. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The versioning factor is visionary. Shoutbound practically invented the term "distributed branding". Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C subscriber communities and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will step up our ability to whiteboard without lessening our ability to expedite. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned aggregation, methodologies are forced to become revolutionary. We will cultivate the capacity of systems to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSLT. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. Think intra-virtual. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to integrate ultra-intra-ultra-extensibly. At Shoutbound, we understand how to strategize transparently. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSL. Think fractal. Without niches, you will lack convergence. If you leverage compellingly, you may have to maximize virally. What does the buzzword "mega-collaborative plug-and-play, ubiquitous accounting" really mean? Without sufficient global reporting, customized, holistic CAD are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We always leverage 1000/60/60/24/7/365 metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! If you exploit magnetically, you may have to exploit holistically. Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our real-world networks and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you strategize strategically, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. We will leverage the jargon-based term "24/7".