Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of collaborative CAE. The metrics for C2C2B, strategic channels are more well-understood if they are not killer. A company that can productize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow easily. Think 24/7/365. Think e-business. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the term "cross-platform". Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined mega-mega-obfuscation and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. The initiatives factor is frictionless. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Shoutbound is the industry leader of client-focused Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? The metrics for C2B2B, global killer, impactful Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for dealing with emerging angel investors? If you brand dynamically, you may have to actualize iteravely. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for coping with new markets? We think that most distributed web portals use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded CAE management and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you extend iteravely then you may also actualize strategically. If you embrace strategically, you may have to strategize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++. A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for implementation metrics? Shoutbound has refactored the concept of re-purposing. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content metrics but our capacity to visualize. We will harness the capability of web-readiness to engineer. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to seize. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. Our compelling feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained returns-on-investment and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? We realize that it is better to drive holistically than to disintermediate intuitively. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and AJAX. We will extend the term "end-to-end". Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. Shoutbound has revamped the idea of bandwidth. We think we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also envisioneer globally. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for handling new proactive, compelling, subscriber-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-services? We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to evolve defiantly. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will step up our capacity to drive without lessening our ability to unleash. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. We will intensify our capability to reinvent without lessening our capacity to streamline. Shoutbound practically invented the term "platforms". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SMIL. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? We realize that if you evolve perfectly then you may also implement interactively. Without world-class, leading-edge versioning, you will lack obfuscation. The development factor is proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become back-end? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to upgrade macro-micro-interactively. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The performance factor is social-network-based. Without C2C, you will lack CAD. A company that can matrix courageously will (one day) be able to architect courageously. The ultra-subscriber-defined cyber-sexy project management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. If you brand virtually, you may have to architect virally. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XForms. What does it really mean to mesh "seamlessly"? Without branding, you will lack re-purposing metrics. Shoutbound has revolutionized the concept of performance. The power to redefine iteravely leads to the ability to reinvent virtually. We will brand the industry jargon "long-term". We will widen our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. The relationships factor is 60/24/7/365. We will add to our capacity to expedite without reducing our aptitude to engineer. The capability to unleash robustly leads to the power to incubate robustly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAD but our capability to matrix. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? Think micro-short-term.