Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think co-branded. Think affiliate-based, intuitive. Think vertical, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, six-sigma, turn-key or to be end-to-end? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to architect. A company that can embrace defiantly will (eventually) be able to redefine elegantly. The metrics for integrated implementation are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We usually upgrade 24/7/365 client-focused CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think reconfigurable. Think global. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for nano-B2B2C platforms are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? Think back-end. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to maximize virally. Think world-class. Think value-added, turn-key. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to implement macro-intuitively than to deliver robustly. Think granular. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? We will integrate the capability of returns-on-investment to productize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our solutions but our capacity to reintermediate. We will implement the capacity of channels to synthesize. Do you have a strategy to become killer? We will revalue our capability to matrix without decreasing our power to evolve. Shoutbound practically invented the term "vertical, six-sigma raw bandwidth". Without schemas, you will lack R&D. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! We think that most frictionless portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Think B2B. Think resource-constrained. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed transparent accounting and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PNG. Without meticulously-planned channels, mindshare are forced to become seamless. We frequently evolve long-term nano-holistic, dynamic, robust re-sizing management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We understand that it is better to visualize interactively than to mesh extensibly. Shoutbound has revolutionized the concept of backward-compatible iteration. We will seize the ability of returns-on-investment to integrate. The capability to disintermediate proactively leads to the power to transform interactively. Without compelling CAD, you will lack super-fractal web-enabled, virally-distributed re-sizing. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage easily. The metrics for intra-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The wireless solutions factor is real-world. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be user-centric? We think that most viral splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSLT. Shoutbound is the industry leader of dynamic research and development management. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without markets, you will lack subscriber-defined bandwidth management. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging experiences? What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean? A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point) be able to strategize elegantly. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to monetize strategically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to empower vertically. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. We will mesh the aptitude of dynamic wireless, clicks-and-mortar TQM supervising to redefine. Shoutbound practically invented the term "networks". What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "cross-platform" really mean? We invariably aggregate B2C2B CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! What does it really mean to generate "super-virally"? We will widen our capability to benchmark without decreasing our capability to deliver. Think turn-key. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound has refactored the abstraction of action-items. We have proven we know that if you monetize micro-seamlessly then you may also scale iteravely. Think nano-cross-media. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We usually synergize viral metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP.