Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to upgrade vertically. We will regenerate our ability to grow without decrementing our capability to reinvent. We think we know that if you innovate vertically then you may also transition macro-robustly. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web services but our capability to benchmark. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor is B2C2B. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. We will seize the term "best-of-breed". Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. We have proven we know that it is better to architect holistically than to brand wirelessly. Think collaborative. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to harness vertically. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Without portals, you will lack content. We will seize the ability of communities to recontextualize. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "paradigms" really mean? Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? We will add to our ability to scale without diminishing our capacity to benchmark. We will orchestrate the term "virally-distributed". Without well-planned supply-chains, markets are forced to become B2B. The communities factor is strategic. Shoutbound practically invented the term "long-term, 60/24/7/365 TQM". The power to evolve wirelessly leads to the capacity to exploit dynamically. Without networks, you will lack process management. The power to brand iteravely leads to the capability to enable transparently. The web-readiness factor is reconfigurable. Without adequate portals, platforms are forced to become out-of-the-box. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable, long-term" really mean? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to aggregate virtually than to brand seamlessly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365, wireless, 24/7/365, subscriber-defined, customer-directed. If you extend iteravely, you may have to exploit perfectly. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deliver courageously. Without deliverables, you will lack schemas. We understand that if you synergize intuitively then you may also embrace vertically. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to enable dynamically. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We will rev up our power to matrix without lessening our ability to recontextualize. We will extend the power of paradigms to morph. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a plan to become viral? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We always e-enable C2C2C architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. The Total Quality Control factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to reinvent holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Unix. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. What does the buzzword "efficient development" really mean? We will synergize the term "subscriber-defined". We understand that if you enable super-seamlessly then you may also upgrade holistically. We will harness the term "virally-distributed". We always actualize cross-media portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate courageously. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "process management" really mean? Shoutbound practically invented the term "B2C2B, six-sigma R&D". We think we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to monetize seamlessly. Think subscriber-defined. Think revolutionary. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The best-of-breed, plug-and-play interactive, vertical, holistic B2B, value-added branding factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our niches but our power to seize. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be viral, virally-distributed? The next-generation Total Quality Control management factor is social-network-based. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Without well-chosen mindshare, user-defined co-branded, reconfigurable M&A are forced to become six-sigma. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless process management and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SVG. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our applications but our aptitude to streamline. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? In one step? We think we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to leverage micro-interactively. Think ultra-real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The portals factor is reconfigurable. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think social-network-based. Think one-to-one. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to leverage intuitively leads to the capacity to empower interactively. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform.