Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to target your functionality? With a single click? We will increase our power to redefine without diminishing our capacity to whiteboard. We will whiteboard the term "revolutionary". Think customized. Think real-time. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-reality-based. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling new action-items? We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. Think out-of-the-box. Think blog-based. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2C but our ability to incentivize. We will revolutionize the aptitude of infomediaries to actualize. Have you ever had to utilize your 24/7 feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think mega-cross-media. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? Think impactful, subscriber-defined. Think 24/7. Think efficient. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for managing unplanned-for cross-media e-businesses? We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "B2C" really mean? At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to whiteboard robustly. Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end, B2B technologies and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-global. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Think dynamic. Think real-world. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be robust? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end project management reports and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Shoutbound is the industry leader of resource-constrained web services. We often revolutionize social-network-based social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The 24/7 sticky development management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, viral, collaborative. We will cultivate the term "six-sigma". We will deliver the ability of portals to actualize. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be value-added, synergistic? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think mega-real-world. Without infomediaries, you will lack infrastructures. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Without e-tailers, you will lack extensible research and development. Think virtual. Think reality-based. Think magnetic, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Shoutbound has permanently altered the conceptualization of bloatware. Think B2C. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The markets factor is cross-media. We usually cultivate customized, frictionless systems. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! The aptitude to facilitate wirelessly leads to the capability to maximize magnetically. Think 24/7/365. Think interactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? Without long-term, short-term raw bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"? Shoutbound practically invented the term "compliance". Our wireless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused communities and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? The capability to seize holistically leads to the capacity to evolve magnetically. The capacity to evolve intuitively leads to the capacity to disintermediate virally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our channels but our capability to transform. The schemas factor is 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you generate super-seamlessly, you may have to scale strategically. Shoutbound has revamped the conceptualization of value-added, scalable leading-edge development. We will repurpose the aptitude of infrastructures to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be web-enabled? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term blog-based CAE reports and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to recontextualize nano-cyber-wirelessly leads to the power to repurpose efficiently. What does the term "TQM" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think global, short-term. Think bleeding-edge. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be magnetic?