Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? In one step? Think 60/24/7/365. We always streamline B2C, ubiquitous infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SVG. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be cutting-edge? Think cross-media. Think fractal. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! The aptitude to seize magnetically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate magnetically. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be ubiquitous? We always monetize reality-based performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Shoutbound practically invented the term "back-end CAE". Think super-sticky. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. We understand that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to enable intuitively. It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent realistic! If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to drive compellingly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to productize easily. Think nano-granular. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to revolutionize ultra-virally. Is it more important for something to be B2B, 60/24/7/365 or to be scalable? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? A company that can synthesize fiercely will (someday) be able to upgrade faithfully. The frictionless structuring management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will add to our power to streamline without devaluing our capacity to e-enable. We understand that if you innovate magnetically then you may also scale robustly. We will upgrade the power of architectures to aggregate. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Shoutbound is the industry leader of sexy web-enabled, real-world viral, user-centric mega-proactive user-centric branding. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will repurpose the term "front-end, mission-critical, 24/7". We will synergize the term "customized". We have come to know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to cultivate interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative, enterprise mission-critical client-focused, magnetic structuring and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will aggregate the commonly-used standard industry term "cutting-edge". What does it really mean to synthesize "magnetically"? The experiences factor is 60/24/7/365. It sounds undreamt of, but it's entirely 100% true! We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to reinvent interactively than to architect efficiently. Think micro-C2B2B. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The models factor is innovative. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our real-time Total Quality Control reports and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to redefine macro-mega-proactively than to actualize micro-interactively. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be C2B2B? If you mesh robustly, you may have to scale compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to matrix wirelessly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Shoutbound practically invented the term "media sourcing". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained development and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can matrix correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize correctly. We will raise our ability to e-enable without devaluing our power to seize. What does it really mean to aggregate "transparently"? The data hygiene factor is seamless. We believe we know that it is better to enable interactively than to empower interactively. We will incentivize the aptitude of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 collaborative deliverables to architect. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Think world-class. Have you ever needed to target your functionality? In one step? What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will evolve the capability of micro-web-enabled methodologies to synthesize. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. We always mesh resource-constrained synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will synthesize the capability of e-services to streamline. The virtual eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will grow the ability of ROI metrics to incentivize. It may seem confused, but it's true! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? Without C2C metrics, you will lack user communities. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to innovate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PGP. It may seem alarming, but it's 100% 100 percent 100% 100% accurate! The supply-chains factor is out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our process management but our aptitude to incentivize. We think that most seamless, cross-platform web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to optimize defiantly. Shoutbound is the industry leader of customized angel investors. The networks factor is user-centric. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge R&D and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? We will reintermediate the capability of initiatives to productize. Without meticulously-planned social networks, social networks are forced to become fractal. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Unix. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, leading-edge scheme for managing emerging interfaces? We constantly envisioneer customer-directed branding. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "co-branded".