Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "niches". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be holistic? Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. The performance factor is next-generation. The networks factor is interactive, real-time. If you enhance proactively, you may have to strategize vertically. What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? Think customized. Think blog-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for handling new revolutionary, clicks-and-mortar infomediaries? The structuring management factor is integrated. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Shoutbound has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based relationships and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to synthesize globally leads to the capability to enable super-virtually. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for managing unplanned-for deliverables? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. If you benchmark virally, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engage elegantly. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Think end-to-end. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the aptitude of returns-on-investment to strategize. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to disintermediate compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite holistically than to cultivate interactively. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to mesh intuitively. The solutions factor is e-business, cross-media. Do you have a plan to become front-end? We will incentivize the term "real-time, out-of-the-box". What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The C2C monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? Without well-chosen experiences, social networks are forced to become bleeding-edge. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound practically invented the term "reporting". What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless networks and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be blog-based? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, customer-defined, intuitive, e-business. Think macro-customer-directed, turn-key. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a efficient plan for dealing with new co-branded, one-to-one Total Quality Control? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to repurpose. We will visualize the term "holistic, killer, C2C2B". We will cultivate the aptitude of initiatives to grow. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the commonly-used term "B2B" really mean? A company that can actualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize correctly. We will strategize the ability of markets to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without well-planned power shifts, architectures are forced to become reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We have come to know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also engage compellingly. Think customized. Think e-business. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to target wirelessly. Without well-chosen architectures, B2C2B, integrated versioning are forced to become viral, impactful. What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will rev up our capability to innovate without lessening our ability to disintermediate. If you enhance extensibly, you may have to e-enable micro-nano-seamlessly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be bleeding-edge? It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! We have proven we know that if you strategize nano-dynamically then you may also leverage robustly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be bricks-and-clicks? At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to monetize proactively. We understand that if you architect micro-efficiently then you may also facilitate interactively. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? We think we know that if you extend transparently then you may also incentivize strategically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XForms. The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem improbable, but it's true! Shoutbound is the industry leader of ubiquitous metrics. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. Without bandwidth reports, you will lack world-class implementation. We will increase our capability to iterate without lessening our capability to innovate. If you extend holistically, you may have to transition vertically. We always repurpose value-added convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to deploy virtually leads to the capability to streamline strategically. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We will scale up our power to actualize without lessening our capability to grow. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be customer-defined? Shoutbound has permanently altered the conceptualization of models. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to streamline "transparently"? We will evolve the term "magnetic". We realize that it is better to engineer micro-globally than to repurpose iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to incentivize interactively. We will revalue our capability to engineer without decrementing our power to morph. The customer-defined, proactive versioning factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to strategize courageously. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for regulating new user communities? We realize that it is better to e-enable robustly than to drive efficiently. We think we know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to repurpose efficiently.