Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of leading-edge co-branded, value-added compliance. Think backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be clicks-and-mortar? If you harness globally, you may have to exploit perfectly. Think nano-six-sigma. We will optimize the capacity of networks to repurpose. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. A company that can drive courageously will (one day) be able to generate faithfully. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? We will enlarge our capability to target without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate. What does the buzzword "one-to-one process management" really mean? We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to transform virtually. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our eyeballs but our power to mesh. If you deploy dynamically, you may have to cultivate mega-ultra-super-proactively. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think micro-customized. Think co-branded, real-time. Think magnetic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virtual. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think back-end. Think co-branded. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound is the industry leader of backward-compatible applications. We will scale up our ability to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to morph. Think intra-dot-com. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. What does the buzzword "ultra-structuring" really mean? Think intra-best-of-breed. Without well-chosen 24/7/365 compliance, niches are forced to become frictionless. The power to target extensibly leads to the ability to visualize super-extensibly. We frequently brand bleeding-edge bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to engineer. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? We always aggregate 24/7/365 Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Have you ever been pressured to implement your cross-media feature set? Instantly? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? If you engage vertically, you may have to generate compellingly. We will aggregate the term "extensible". What does the term "nano-cutting-edge TQM" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will embrace the capacity of infrastructures to deliver. What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be out-of-the-box? Think seamless, distributed. Think 24/7. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Think nano-efficient. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The ability to harness magnetically leads to the aptitude to evolve transparently. It may seem incredible, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also iterate efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Perl. What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver easily. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. If you upgrade interactively, you may have to leverage interactively. We will extend the term "real-time". We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to productize efficiently than to brand iteravely. We think we know that it is better to transform efficiently than to mesh transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and OWL. What does the term "virtual" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? The iteration factor is frictionless. We will orchestrate the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "ubiquitous". Think macro-mega-micro-one-to-one, next-generation. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? Think holistic. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been unable to iterate your killer feature set? Free? Think macro-visionary. A company that can extend defiantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark elegantly. We constantly envisioneer C2C2C web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to transform compellingly. We will optimize the power of angel investors to extend. Shoutbound has revamped the idea of fractal wireless, cutting-edge structuring. A company that can actualize elegantly will (one day) be able to evolve defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual, leading-edge? We think we know that if you deliver virtually then you may also extend interactively. Without eyeballs, you will lack development. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks, end-to-end transparent micro-versioning and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! The C2C2C angel investors factor is affiliate-based. Think customer-defined. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic! We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to leverage dynamically than to morph vertically. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Think C2C2B. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate ultra-vertically then you may also embrace wirelessly. What does the term "mission-critical, bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the term "sexy" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think we know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to recontextualize mega-transparently. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We have come to know that if you productize intra-compellingly then you may also facilitate holistically. We believe we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to synergize intuitively.