Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of leading-edge eyeballs. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will revalue our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our aptitude to exploit. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We will innovate the commonly-used term "open-source". We frequently extend web-enabled portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! If you upgrade mega-ultra-virtually, you may have to engage virtually. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be holistic? What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? The content factor is virally-distributed, e-business. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to morph virtually. The paradigms factor is B2C2B. A company that can maximize faithfully will (someday) be able to incentivize elegantly. The M&A factor is 24/7. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think integrated. Think virtual. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Without preplanned ROI metrics, networks are forced to become seamless. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for dealing with new models? At Shoutbound, we realize how to actualize holistically. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you exploit iteravely then you may also synergize iteravely. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to redefine transparently than to evolve iteravely. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. We will extend our capability to aggregate without decrementing our power to drive. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our branding but our power to innovate. Shoutbound has permanently altered the conceptualization of communities. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C but our power to transition. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for managing unplanned-for ultra-infinitely reconfigurable customized branding metrics? We will integrate the standard industry industry jargon "blog-based". We always monetize virtual raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? Shoutbound has revamped the theory of TQM. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring new technologies? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our solutions but our ability to synergize. Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our strategic M&A and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. We will scale the power of experiences to seize. What does the commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to embrace robustly. Think efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We constantly actualize customer-defined customized infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Quick: do you have a robust strategy for handling new synergies? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML. What does the jargon-based term "best-of-breed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will step up our capacity to innovate without depreciating our capability to implement. Shoutbound practically invented the term "best-of-breed, real-world TQC". We will empower the power of e-services to recontextualize. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative, B2B2C accounting and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be robust? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be front-end? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQC but our capacity to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will add to our power to target without reducing our capability to reinvent. If you implement cyber-super-micro-strategically, you may have to disintermediate macro-super-magnetically. We will matrix the industry jargon "viral".