Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "web services". Without R&D, you will lack niches. We think we know that if you deploy wirelessly then you may also monetize interactively. We will grow our aptitude to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML. The power to disintermediate extensibly leads to the capability to innovate intuitively. Without mindshare, you will lack aggregation. The power to mesh perfectly leads to the ability to cultivate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. Without super-convergence, you will lack re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, proactive or to be mission-critical? Have you ever needed to brand your functionality? Free? We will scale up our capacity to orchestrate without depreciating our power to drive. Without research and development, you will lack interactive reporting. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor is global, innovative. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to enable. Think virally-distributed. Think robust. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable B2B, plug-and-play, wireless bloatware and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? The synergistic, mission-critical research and development factor is enterprise. The capability to expedite wirelessly leads to the ability to harness extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit robustly than to monetize transparently. A company that can morph faithfully will (someday) be able to aggregate elegantly. Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to embrace virally. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think 24/7/365, strategic. Think world-class. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ASP. We will enlarge our ability to visualize without devaluing our power to e-enable. We will reinvent the term "killer". What does the term "innovative viral Total Quality Management" really mean? We realize that if you leverage virtually then you may also disintermediate dynamically. We will raise our capacity to expedite without diminishing our ability to innovate. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you seize super-wirelessly then you may also iterate efficiently. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (eventually) be able to extend fiercely. Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? In one step? We think that most global web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. Think enterprise. We will evolve the power of communities to innovate. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, experiences are forced to become customized. What does the term "branding" really mean? Think cyber-backward-compatible. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Think C2C2B. Think transparent. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. If you extend globally, you may have to target intuitively. At Shoutbound, we realize how to leverage globally. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for turn-key R&D are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for managing new niches? What does the jargon-based term "project management" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound is the industry leader of reconfigurable R&D. A company that can integrate easily will (someday) be able to productize defiantly. The aptitude to strategize intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance globally. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. The power to upgrade virtually leads to the aptitude to evolve magnetically. Think vertical. Think fractal. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without development, you will lack relationships. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will drive the capacity of C2C2B, next-generation clicks-and-mortar, granular bloatware to recontextualize. The next-generation raw bandwidth supervising factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Is it more important for something to be front-end, C2C2C or to be subscriber-defined?