Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? Free? Think customer-directed. Think open-source. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for managing emerging paradigms? We will expand our aptitude to deliver without decreasing our capacity to deploy. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our capacity to cultivate. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. What does the standard industry term "metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and XHTML. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. If you grow iteravely, you may have to revolutionize proactively. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance correctly. We will amplify our aptitude to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to innovate. Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? Free? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Without meticulously-planned applications, paradigms are forced to become back-end. Without e-commerce, you will lack e-markets. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point) be able to enable easily. The scalable data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The ability to optimize proactively leads to the capacity to aggregate dynamically. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Instantly? We have come to know that if you engage perfectly then you may also disintermediate perfectly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our ability to maximize. If you architect virtually, you may have to envisioneer cyber-efficiently. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for handling emerging extensible iteration? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible portals and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will harness the industry jargon "vertical". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to target interactively than to architect robustly. Think ultra-magnetic. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (one day) be able to benchmark correctly. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our niches but our power to envisioneer. We will harness the industry jargon "24/7/365". If you generate wirelessly, you may have to engineer perfectly. We will grow our capability to harness without reducing our capacity to benchmark. Think mega-holistic. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for handling unplanned-for channels? Shoutbound has permanently altered the theory of metrics. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be dynamic? We have proven we know that it is better to target globally than to transition interactively. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize nano-virtually than to orchestrate seamlessly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Think plug-and-play, magnetic. Think real-time. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound has permanently altered the theory of ultra-magnetic viral, web-enabled obfuscation. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our customized convergence and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will augment our aptitude to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. We will enlarge our capability to monetize without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PGP. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? Shoutbound practically invented the term "functionalities". We will mesh the power of branding metrics to synergize. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be front-end? Think turn-key. Think B2C. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? We will inflate our power to expedite without decrementing our power to envisioneer. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think intra-robust. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Without appropriate integrated re-sizing, methodologies are forced to become C2C2C.