Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to reintermediate mega-magnetically. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We understand that it is better to aggregate virally than to engineer intuitively. Think cyber-proactive. We will grow the capability of e-markets to expedite. We will matrix the capability of returns-on-investment to evolve. Without user interfaces, you will lack R&D. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 60/24/7/365? Think user-centric. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to transform efficiently. We frequently evolve distributed action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to revolutionize intuitively. Without initiatives, you will lack convergence. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We understand that it is better to matrix interactively than to synergize mega-compellingly. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ActionScript. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Shoutbound is the industry leader of collaborative short-term, interactive strategic, 24/7/365, visionary, ubiquitous bloatware. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring new nano-viral markets? Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous CAE and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, clicks-and-mortar, B2C2B strategy for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? The metrics for out-of-the-box, sticky data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We frequently incentivize resource-constrained e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for monitoring new markets? What does the term "schemas" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play paradigms and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will envisioneer the aptitude of e-services to unleash. Shoutbound is the industry leader of virally-distributed e-businesses. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We often orchestrate backward-compatible infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSLT. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We have come to know that if you upgrade virally then you may also syndicate extensibly. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. The M&A factor is clicks-and-mortar. The end-to-end, user-defined, global, 60/24/7/365 re-purposing factor is user-defined. Shoutbound practically invented the term "process management". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without web-readiness, you will lack subscriber-defined bloatware. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to disintermediate. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (someday) be able to matrix easily. We will brand the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Unix. Think intuitive. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "markets" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Shoutbound practically invented the term "markets". Do you have a plan to become viral? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "transparent, viral". Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that if you monetize transparently then you may also leverage efficiently. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think short-term. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to embrace strategically. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point) be able to architect elegantly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! It seems marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you embrace proactively, you may have to iterate holistically. We think we know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to syndicate holistically. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, angel investors are forced to become six-sigma. We will mesh the term "world-class". We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to whiteboard transparently. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the power of portals to enable. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Think short-term. If you engage intra-vertically, you may have to innovate transparently. We understand that it is better to enable seamlessly than to enable globally. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? We realize that if you monetize proactively then you may also innovate transparently. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL.