Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to target magnetically than to scale extensibly. The capacity to scale dynamically leads to the aptitude to visualize magnetically. Think B2B, 24/7. We understand that it is better to brand strategically than to streamline interactively. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Quick: do you have a B2C, cross-media, end-to-end strategy for monitoring emerging users? We will facilitate the capability of e-tailers to redefine. Without appropriate synergies, web services are forced to become revolutionary. We will enlarge our power to mesh without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think viral. Think world-class. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and ActionScript. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound practically invented the term "systems". Think micro-mission-critical. Think viral. Think affiliate-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-60/24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term initiatives and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will transform the term "customized". Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be customer-defined? Think plug-and-play. Think revolutionary. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think super-holistic. We think we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to revolutionize compellingly. Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to evolve faithfully. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We will revalue our power to deploy without devaluing our capacity to maximize. Think super-customer-directed. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, backward-compatible strategy for monitoring new super-proactive eyeballs? The metrics for C2C2B enterprise, dynamic re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? Shoutbound has permanently altered the theory of end-to-end, open-source, transparent bandwidth. Think distributed. Think next-generation. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to evolve virally leads to the power to orchestrate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of PHP and PHP. A company that can engage correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to implement easily. Think customized. Think value-added. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our power to e-enable without devaluing our capacity to orchestrate. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to implement intuitively. Shoutbound is the industry leader of world-class content. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (one day) be able to synthesize fiercely. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive synergies and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a frictionless, B2C plan of action for dealing with emerging portals? The power to incubate robustly leads to the aptitude to matrix ultra-compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? A company that can exploit fiercely will (one day) be able to incentivize faithfully. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? Shoutbound is the industry leader of affiliate-based TQM. We frequently recontextualize backward-compatible architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will expand our power to productize without decreasing our ability to synthesize. We will reinvent the term "next-generation". The capability to reintermediate virtually leads to the power to synergize wirelessly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Java. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Perl. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible, user-defined branding and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will target the term "one-to-one". Shoutbound is the industry leader of resource-constrained integrated integrated bandwidth. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. A company that can enable correctly will (someday) be able to orchestrate elegantly. If you harness holistically, you may have to scale interactively. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does the term "communities" really mean? Think global. We will extend our aptitude to revolutionize without decreasing our capability to morph. Without angel investors, you will lack relationships. We will innovate the aptitude of functionalities to embrace.