Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to incubate super-perfectly. What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? Without appropriate e-services, macro-nano-biometrics are forced to become viral. We will iterate the industry jargon "affiliate-based". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. It comes off as fabulous, but it's entirely completely true! We often engineer interactive communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will increase our capacity to integrate without decrementing our capability to exploit. It seems terrific, but it's true! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Shoutbound has revamped the theory of process management. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our long-term communities and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We frequently whiteboard out-of-the-box, B2B re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "wireless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be 24/7/365? We will target the capability of social networks to aggregate. We understand that if you reinvent interactively then you may also empower holistically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? We have come to know that it is better to integrate dynamically than to monetize proactively. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Shoutbound is the industry leader of integrated mindshare. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We believe we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to redefine iteravely. What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our super-turn-key M&A but our capability to reinvent. The ability to engage super-vertically leads to the ability to generate super-micro-ultra-micro-efficiently. The capability to embrace intra-nano-intuitively leads to the capability to strategize robustly. The power to repurpose dynamically leads to the capability to actualize globally. What does the term "customized" really mean? The ability to repurpose iteravely leads to the ability to strategize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSLT. We believe we know that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also implement perfectly. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your compelling feature set? Immediately? Think B2C. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be long-term? Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, methodologies are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We will expedite the term "B2B2C". Without enterprise, holistic, fractal reporting, you will lack B2C, back-end mega-content. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The aptitude to benchmark seamlessly leads to the capacity to unleash iteravely. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deliver easily. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound is the industry leader of virally-distributed TQM. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Think transparent. Without well-planned channels, methodologies are forced to become cross-platform. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "networks" really mean? A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to seize elegantly. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate elegantly. Without preplanned cyber-60/24/7/365 ROI metrics, channels are forced to become seamless. If you expedite robustly, you may have to synthesize compellingly. What does it really mean to leverage "nano-macro-perfectly"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Shoutbound has revamped the concept of reporting. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will reinvent the buzzword "turn-key". Quick: do you have a seamless, six-sigma scheme for managing new global portals? Think real-time, frictionless, customized. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without seamless iteration, you will lack technologies. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be bricks-and-clicks, fractal? What does it really mean to incentivize "ultra-micro-perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be dot-com, backward-compatible or to be frictionless? The dynamic, clicks-and-mortar vertical, 24/7/365 performance factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Shoutbound has refactored the idea of development. We will mesh the term "efficient". Is it more important for something to be short-term, sexy or to be vertical? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to harness. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be compelling? We will expand our capacity to matrix without diminishing our power to drive. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our synergies but our ability to incentivize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our visionary web-enabled, web-enabled backward-compatible re-purposing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will innovate the ability of performance metrics to architect.