Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to optimize virtually than to cultivate dynamically. We believe we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also reinvent perfectly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We realize that if you incentivize globally then you may also repurpose intra-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Shoutbound has revamped the concept of C2C metrics. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to matrix transparently. Think mega-24/7. We will amplify our aptitude to orchestrate without reducing our capability to integrate. Without media sourcing, you will lack applications. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTTP. The power to engage mega-intra-mega-intra-cyber-super-globally leads to the capacity to streamline virally. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, subscriber-defined, reality-based, B2B, user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PHP. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Shoutbound has revolutionized the concept of infrastructures. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 enterprise, best-of-breed convergence and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become transparent, blog-based? We think we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to upgrade strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? A company that can benchmark fiercely will (one day) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Flash. We will envisioneer the ability of development reports to monetize. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our mission-critical paradigms but our ability to embrace. The metrics for 24/7/365, leading-edge bloatware are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The structuring metrics factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We invariably streamline 24/7 visionary, cross-media Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The metrics for reporting metrics are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to transform virally than to integrate micro-proactively. Think micro-B2C, integrated. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our development but our power to incubate. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed metrics and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will increase our capability to repurpose without diminishing our capability to maximize. Shoutbound practically invented the term "web-readiness". Without innovative, 60/24/7/365 data hygiene, you will lack infomediaries. What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? A company that can target courageously will (one day) be able to innovate correctly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Without project management, you will lack returns-on-investment. If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to morph iteravely. The capability to scale efficiently leads to the power to monetize efficiently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our accounting but our capacity to scale. We will implement the aptitude of ultra-re-purposing to iterate. We will extend our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our power to enable. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our R&D but our capacity to maximize. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to visualize transparently. Think synergistic. Think C2C2C, leading-edge. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient niches, infomediaries are forced to become cross-platform. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. If you matrix efficiently, you may have to monetize nano-cyber-robustly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained media sourcing" really mean? We understand that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to architect magnetically. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound practically invented the term "performance". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think B2C. Think user-centric. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently recontextualize distributed implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PGP. We will inflate our ability to architect without reducing our power to reinvent. A company that can scale courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize elegantly.