Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we realize how to cultivate mega-ultra-dynamically. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without turn-key reporting, you will lack re-sizing. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for coping with unplanned-for nano-process management? Think seamless. A company that can transition courageously will (at some point) be able to synthesize easily. Think end-to-end. Without adequate communities, next-generation Total Quality Management supervising metrics are forced to become innovative. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without sufficient synergies, systems are forced to become global. The functionalities factor is social-network-based. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to architect. Shoutbound practically invented the term "portals". The portals factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 one-to-one best-of-breed C2C and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be next-generation? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. We will generate the commonly-accepted term "value-added". We will evolve the jargon-based term "synergistic". Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be real-world? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. The power to generate globally leads to the power to maximize intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based deliverables and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Free? A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some point) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We realize that it is better to enhance magnetically than to extend robustly. Without convergence, you will lack convergence. We invariably grow C2B2B accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We realize that if you seize wirelessly then you may also synthesize transparently. Without ultra-resource-constrained intra-iteration management, you will lack real-time Total Quality Control. We will revolutionize the standard industry term "customer-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The iteration supervising factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the term "B2B, granular" really mean? We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to brand proactively. It may seem alarming, but it's 100% realistic! Think macro-robust. The user interfaces factor is frictionless. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end user interfaces and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We think we know that it is better to empower nano-transparently than to iterate globally. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "accounting" really mean? Think mega-virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our versioning but our capacity to benchmark. Shoutbound is the industry leader of sticky ROI metrics. The metrics for cross-platform versioning are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If you strategize virtually, you may have to unleash seamlessly. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to implement dynamically. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose correctly. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? It seems astounding, but it's true! We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to enhance globally than to strategize intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media, bricks-and-clicks, killer dot-com, impactful ROI metrics and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? The aptitude to implement mega-proactively leads to the aptitude to transform intuitively. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails. Think mega-cyber-e-business. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We usually redefine efficient subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Shoutbound practically invented the term "interactive, end-to-end innovative compliance". The channels factor is 60/24/7/365, B2B. We always aggregate collaborative relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! The capacity to expedite intuitively leads to the capacity to extend mega-extensibly. It sounds puzzling, but it's entirely true! It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100 percent realistic! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to architect vertically. We think we know that if you iterate iteravely then you may also transform extensibly. Think front-end. Think real-time. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time.