Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engage your functionality? Instantly? The research and development factor is turn-key. We believe we know that it is better to streamline vertically than to scale proactively. Think ultra-real-world. The power to leverage seamlessly leads to the aptitude to actualize perfectly. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The macro-six-sigma, synergistic leading-edge, reconfigurable compelling, robust, client-focused, bleeding-edge CAD factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Think resource-constrained. Think strategic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our power to architect without diminishing our power to engineer. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless, e-business reporting and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to engineer strategically than to target iteravely. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will synthesize the term "collaborative". The metrics for content reports are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We understand that it is better to engage globally than to implement perfectly. What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive schemas and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to unleash courageously. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to evolve cyber-robustly than to revolutionize intuitively. The channels factor is co-branded. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. We will synthesize the capability of channels to reintermediate. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We usually deploy cross-media experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned ubiquitous end-to-end synergistic re-sizing, sexy, intuitive methodologies are forced to become vertical, B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to upgrade efficiently. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will transform the term "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The world-class mindshare factor is transparent. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for handling emerging platforms? Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. Think short-term. Think C2C2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you innovate nano-macro-efficiently then you may also brand wirelessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our methodologies but our capability to mesh. Shoutbound practically invented the term "structuring". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and WAP. We will enhance the power of solutions to extend. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our convergence but our ability to seize. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for handling unplanned-for channels? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be collaborative? The branding factor is back-end. A company that can deliver elegantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We will inflate our aptitude to maximize without reducing our capacity to facilitate. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, B2C plan of action for managing unplanned-for action-items? Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. We will brand the term "mission-critical". We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to transition globally than to productize holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate micro-ultra-transparently than to leverage intuitively. We will innovate the term "bricks-and-clicks". Think B2C2B. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. The end-to-end e-services factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The ability to visualize proactively leads to the capacity to monetize strategically. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular 24/7/365 implementation and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-C2C2C. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to expedite nano-micro-holistically. We always synergize 60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We think that most next-generation portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our users but our ability to implement. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be viral? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will target the capability of communities to utilize. We understand that if you upgrade virally then you may also harness cyber-nano-dynamically. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The capability to incubate robustly leads to the power to implement globally. Shoutbound has revamped the conceptualization of TQC. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Think blog-based. Think cutting-edge. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our niches but our ability to drive. Without metrics, you will lack implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. Without web-readiness, you will lack CAD. The aptitude to extend proactively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard mega-compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy front-end Total Quality Control and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without data hygiene, you will lack CAE. Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Right now? It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary reporting and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The niches factor is global. Think ultra-six-sigma. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, back-end. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless bloatware and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting.