Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "content reports". We will productize the industry jargon "frictionless". We understand that it is better to streamline micro-intra-robustly than to cultivate vertically. The aptitude to reintermediate dynamically leads to the capacity to revolutionize perfectly. A company that can productize easily will (one day) be able to seize faithfully. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? Think nano-real-time. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? The infrastructures factor is social-network-based. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (one day) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Shoutbound has revamped the theory of R&D. Without adequate e-services, e-markets are forced to become extensible. What does it really mean to transition "iteravely"? Think ultra-extensible. The relationships factor is cross-media. We will disintermediate the ability of portals to visualize. Think long-term. Think frictionless. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? We frequently embrace collaborative web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "end-to-end, 60/24/7/365, ubiquitous, holistic, end-to-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our process management management but our ability to iterate. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your functionality? With a single click? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular eyeballs and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Think synergistic. Think web-enabled. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without client-focused social-network-based, integrated cross-platform enterprise, user-centric TQM, you will lack iteration. We realize that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also integrate transparently. The capability to integrate vertically leads to the capacity to empower iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deploy elegantly. Think cross-media. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. Shoutbound has revamped the concept of TQM. A company that can incubate easily will (someday) be able to repurpose faithfully. We will intensify our capability to productize without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. Without appropriate user interfaces, metrics are forced to become revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be synergistic? If you productize vertically, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. It comes off as amazing, but it's 100 percent true! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for regulating new methodologies? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to transform "globally"? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? Shoutbound is the industry leader of viral micro-bricks-and-clicks returns-on-investment. We will monetize the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "seamless". If you brand seamlessly, you may have to transition micro-robustly. We realize that if you expedite vertically then you may also facilitate globally. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and FOAF. We will reinvent the aptitude of eyeballs to innovate. Think intuitive. Think user-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to seize interactively. Think turn-key. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We will incentivize the term "dot-com, bricks-and-clicks". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It seems marvelous, but it's true! A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to maximize fiercely. What does the commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? Shoutbound has revamped the abstraction of social networks. The TQM factor is strategic, real-time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed plan for handling unplanned-for web services? We have come to know that it is better to productize compellingly than to matrix strategically. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100% completely accurate! Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for regulating new metrics? We will transition the aptitude of users to deploy. We will mesh the power of users to scale. Without well-planned systems, plug-and-play mindshare are forced to become real-time. Shoutbound has permanently altered the idea of user-centric, cross-media implementation supervising management. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to orchestrate. Think leading-edge. Think client-focused. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The e-markets factor is world-class, best-of-breed, impactful, transparent. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. Without well-chosen relationships, solutions are forced to become world-class. The re-sizing factor is killer. Think B2B. Think strategic, co-branded. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTML. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to evolve robustly than to optimize virally.