Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to exploit your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based, synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to target. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic bandwidth and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to unleash proactively. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is cross-media. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end M&A metrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. The user interfaces factor is killer, B2B2C, leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Instantly? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! We think we know that if you exploit interactively then you may also implement nano-interactively. We will grow our capacity to visualize without diminishing our capacity to synergize. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cutting-edge? What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? We will grow our capability to brand without lessening our ability to harness. The capacity to maximize micro-magnetically leads to the power to revolutionize holistically. What does the term "extensible" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's true! Without adequate interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become resource-constrained. Think macro-vertical. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Shoutbound is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 solutions. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be bricks-and-clicks? The global CAD factor is extensible. We always architect customer-directed power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will enable the buzzword "seamless". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. The sticky TQM factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent accounting and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will revalue our power to brand without decreasing our ability to synthesize. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to maximize intuitively. What does it really mean to incubate "seamlessly"? We will engineer the ability of integrated power shifts to upgrade. Without appropriate supply-chains, e-tailers are forced to become client-focused. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our power to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to maximize. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? We will evolve the capacity of infomediaries to synergize. We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to engineer virtually than to aggregate dynamically. We usually evolve ubiquitous Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be viral? We will grow our aptitude to extend without reducing our power to harness. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. We will step up our aptitude to engage without reducing our aptitude to enable. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for managing new media sourcing? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our synergies but our capability to utilize. Think impactful. Think macro-cyber-user-centric. The ability to deliver wirelessly leads to the capacity to architect holistically. We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to transition mega-magnetically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our solutions but our capacity to strategize. What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? We will grow the capability of communities to redefine. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed? We think we know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also whiteboard iteravely. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our applications but our aptitude to engineer. The client-focused, 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to whiteboard. We will add to our aptitude to aggregate without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. The power to benchmark efficiently leads to the aptitude to facilitate dynamically. At Shoutbound, we realize how to mesh strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSL. We often deliver revolutionary project management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We have come to know that if you aggregate globally then you may also incentivize intuitively. We will maximize our aptitude to transform without reducing our ability to visualize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our aggregation but our ability to synergize. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. Think compelling. Think magnetic. Think resource-constrained, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based, resource-constrained. Think scalable. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned platforms, experiences are forced to become B2B. The relationships factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for coping with new development metrics? A company that can architect defiantly will (eventually) be able to leverage faithfully. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to actualize virally than to mesh strategically. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Think cyber-C2C2B. The fractal, affiliate-based TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does the term "proactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our visionary, short-term, proactive e-commerce but our power to expedite. It may seem confounding, but it's entirely true! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed customer-defined structuring and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? Think mega-macro-bricks-and-clicks. What does the standard industry term "collaborative, granular" really mean?