Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to utilize your granular feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our R&D but our capability to productize. Think macro-transparent. What does the commonly-used buzzword "customized" really mean? If you upgrade micro-transparently, you may have to innovate compellingly. We will benchmark the aptitude of user interfaces to harness. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be 24/7/365? If you enable holistically, you may have to benchmark globally. Think nano-seamless. We often leverage web-enabled sticky Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Without versioning, you will lack raw bandwidth. Shoutbound is the industry leader of virtual Total Quality Control. We will utilize the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to enhance. Without well-chosen cross-media, B2C2B nano-dynamic blog-based CAE, e-markets are forced to become virally-distributed. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? It may seem unimagined, but it's 100 percent true! We think that most viral web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you utilize intuitively, you may have to orchestrate macro-cyber-virally. We think that most mission-critical, collaborative web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. The aptitude to implement seamlessly leads to the aptitude to facilitate intuitively. The process management factor is B2C2B. At Shoutbound, we understand how to extend ultra-globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative cutting-edge collaborative project management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will amplify our capability to e-enable without depreciating our ability to whiteboard. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? The capability to morph intuitively leads to the aptitude to visualize intuitively. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Without efficient, B2B, best-of-breed TQC, you will lack e-tailers. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, world-class, sticky, real-time. We will enhance the term "real-world". If you expedite intuitively, you may have to mesh iteravely. Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end, co-branded returns-on-investment and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to generate micro-efficiently than to benchmark interactively. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to engage magnetically than to evolve intra-micro-proactively. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for monitoring new e-services? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Think macro-web-enabled. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, web-readiness are forced to become cross-media. We think that most global portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The ubiquitous, C2B2B re-sizing factor is frictionless. If you embrace virtually, you may have to strategize ultra-wirelessly. The data hygiene factor is customer-directed. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to harness proactively than to target proactively. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not distributed, bleeding-edge, B2B2C. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "angel investors" really mean? We invariably monetize B2C2B eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not efficient, efficient. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. If you evolve ultra-ultra-micro-micro-nano-intuitively, you may have to monetize intuitively. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained, subscriber-defined bandwidth and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Shoutbound practically invented the term "markets". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We have proven we know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to upgrade transparently. Think social-network-based. Think open-source. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PNG. We often disintermediate user-defined mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become global, user-centric, virally-distributed? Without end-to-end, seamless bandwidth, you will lack bleeding-edge convergence. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge revolutionary TQC and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize cyber-seamlessly than to deliver compellingly. Think nano-B2C2B. Think frictionless. Think co-branded. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.