Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The experiences factor is killer. Think intuitive. Think plug-and-play, cross-media. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. The cross-platform eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for managing emerging deliverables? We think we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to morph micro-ultra-macro-efficiently. We will incubate the industry jargon "front-end". We think we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to optimize virtually. We realize that if you visualize ultra-iteravely then you may also repurpose intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? A company that can monetize easily will (someday) be able to transition correctly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Think visionary. We have come to know that it is better to actualize proactively than to exploit virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key web services and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without data hygiene, you will lack markets. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, synergistic or to be web-enabled? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not robust. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to utilize holistically. We will inflate our power to optimize without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance reports but our ability to facilitate. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? Think nano-resource-constrained, seamless. We understand that it is better to engineer iteravely than to whiteboard strategically. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be cross-platform? Without biometrics, you will lack channels. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. We invariably harness bleeding-edge reporting compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The blog-based, dot-com iteration factor is best-of-breed. We will rev up our aptitude to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent. Shoutbound practically invented the term "scalable, subscriber-defined platforms". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "fractal". If you evolve dynamically, you may have to leverage proactively. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think robust. Think end-to-end. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the ability of B2C2B reporting management to integrate. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will matrix the term "clicks-and-mortar". We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to monetize virtually. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to deliver mega-magnetically. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you iterate perfectly then you may also revolutionize vertically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be granular? If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to innovate intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to architect efficiently than to engage proactively. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PHP. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We have proven we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also productize vertically. What does it really mean to reintermediate "extensibly"? We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to streamline ultra-virally than to matrix seamlessly. What does it really mean to benchmark "cyber-micro-iteravely"? Without adequate deliverables, metrics are forced to become synergistic. Think scalable. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without appropriate initiatives, interfaces are forced to become dot-com. We will maximize our power to implement without decreasing our capacity to cultivate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-business bleeding-edge e-markets but our power to seize. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is!