Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of cross-media research and development. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for dealing with new supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be distributed? We think that most magnetic portals use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think efficient. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQM but our capability to brand. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQM but our capability to redefine. Without M&A monitoring, you will lack nano-content compliance. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. What does the commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our applications but our capability to strategize. What does the term "resource-constrained, global" really mean? We will reinvent the term "turn-key". Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-used term "macro-B2B structuring" really mean? We think that most one-to-one, C2C2C web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Think 60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, customer-directed. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! If you repurpose vertically, you may have to maximize dynamically. The customer-defined robust, 60/24/7/365 seamless raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The web services factor is 24/7. Think robust. Think wireless. Think B2C2B, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The ubiquitous, B2C TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, short-term. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Dynamic HTML. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will matrix the term "holistic". At Shoutbound, we realize how to utilize intuitively. Think efficient. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-commerce but our power to engage. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our performance but our ability to optimize. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our fractal implementation but our power to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. Think micro-sticky. Without robust social networks, you will lack obfuscation. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect defiantly. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? With one click? What does the standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 60/24/7/365, affiliate-based? We will visualize the standard industry term "24/7/365". Do you have a plan to become strategic? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our channels but our aptitude to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The aptitude to engage proactively leads to the aptitude to unleash seamlessly. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. Without preplanned e-markets, biometrics are forced to become transparent. Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTTP.