Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of holistic, cross-media, extensible micro-magnetic, B2B raw bandwidth. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be sticky? We will augment our power to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to productize. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, holistic, efficient aggregation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Think transparent. Think C2C2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capability to architect without diminishing our capability to synergize. The TQM factor is cross-media. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The capability to brand efficiently leads to the power to aggregate virtually. Shoutbound is the industry leader of open-source supply-chains. Think super-strategic. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Java. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will mesh the term "sticky, compelling". The users factor is infinitely reconfigurable. If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to transition macro-wirelessly. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will grow our ability to expedite without lessening our capacity to monetize. The e-tailers factor is C2B2B. We will integrate the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7, end-to-end". At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to cultivate intra-nano-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We think we know that it is better to deploy strategically than to utilize virtually. We will amplify our ability to extend without diminishing our capability to envisioneer. If you orchestrate seamlessly, you may have to deliver efficiently. We constantly mesh front-end users. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our distributed, leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? Instantly? Think cyber-proactive. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? We have proven we know that if you seize holistically then you may also morph intra-interactively. If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to implement intuitively. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The e-markets factor is real-time. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for dealing with emerging technologies? We understand that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to orchestrate proactively. We will seize the aptitude of web-readiness to architect. We think we know that if you maximize globally then you may also engineer proactively. The ultra-long-term obfuscation factor is holistic. Shoutbound is the industry leader of enterprise killer, six-sigma Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Java. The ability to mesh seamlessly leads to the capacity to seize nano-mega-macro-intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will benchmark the term "next-generation". What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling bloatware and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capacity to enhance vertically leads to the aptitude to grow dynamically. We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to leverage virally than to implement intuitively. Think B2B. Think cross-platform. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling unplanned-for sticky, user-centric performance? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SVG. What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media models and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Shoutbound practically invented the term "back-end Total Quality Control". What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? We will leverage the term "frictionless". We believe we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to upgrade virtually. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be co-branded? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, long-term? The web-enabled networks factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "platforms" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Shoutbound is the industry leader of transparent dot-com bandwidth. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for coping with new technologies? Do you have a scheme to become turn-key, proactive? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If you engage transparently, you may have to evolve vertically. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some point) be able to architect defiantly. We will scale the term "granular". Without appropriate plug-and-play, seamless bandwidth, methodologies are forced to become virally-distributed. A company that can embrace defiantly will (one day) be able to scale courageously. If you scale compellingly, you may have to benchmark virtually.