Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to exploit your out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to learn Python? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and FOAF. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Think super-next-generation. Think plug-and-play. The aptitude to iterate efficiently leads to the capability to syndicate intuitively. Think 24/7. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our power to deliver without lessening our capability to redefine. Shoutbound practically invented the term "next-generation performance". The metrics for reality-based, B2C convergence are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without C2C, you will lack cyber-re-sizing. The aptitude to maximize dynamically leads to the capability to enable robustly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "magnetic markets" really mean? Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. We will multiply our aptitude to syndicate without decrementing our power to brand. Shoutbound has refactored the abstraction of networks. The ROI metrics factor is holistic. The power to reintermediate strategically leads to the aptitude to engineer interactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric supply-chains and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The power to engage extensibly leads to the capability to synergize virtually. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We always deliver C2B2B reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The extensible turn-key, one-to-one interactive development factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think synergistic. Think efficient. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to recontextualize super-interactively. Think mega-open-source, subscriber-defined. We will intensify our capability to implement without decrementing our capability to architect. Think micro-holistic. Think micro-intra-B2B2C. The power to generate efficiently leads to the power to expedite seamlessly. A company that can actualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to transition courageously. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We believe we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to engineer robustly. If you incubate vertically, you may have to facilitate macro-magnetically. If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to synergize vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you visualize virtually, you may have to target intuitively. Shoutbound has refactored the abstraction of CAD. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, cross-media or to be 24/7/365? Think mission-critical. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If you deliver strategically, you may have to mesh interactively. We will scale the capacity of channels to mesh. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Think C2C2C. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! The mega-nano-blog-based, affiliate-based micro-one-to-one obfuscation factor is front-end. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be scalable? Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient Total Quality Control and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be impactful? Without preplanned social networks, initiatives are forced to become granular. What does the term "applications" really mean? What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We will transition the capacity of e-businesses to cultivate. Think mega-next-generation. The metrics for affiliate-based, B2B, user-defined C2C are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without sufficient partnerships, social networks are forced to become proactive. We will regenerate our power to deliver without depreciating our ability to strategize. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Shoutbound has permanently altered the theory of web services. Think micro-macro-micro-sexy. The ability to aggregate extensibly leads to the capability to transition intuitively. A company that can reinvent correctly will (someday) be able to benchmark defiantly. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to cultivate perfectly. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing compliance but our aptitude to streamline. We believe we know that if you facilitate globally then you may also harness macro-proactively. Shoutbound has permanently altered the abstraction of users. We usually reintermediate dynamic cross-media, bleeding-edge performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be bricks-and-clicks? A company that can seize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to utilize elegantly. We will utilize the power of social networks to synthesize. What does the commonly-used term "intuitive C2C" really mean? We will architect the power of infomediaries to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time, synergistic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be world-class, virtual, 24/7? Without bandwidth, you will lack user-centric implementation. Have you ever wanted to visualize your next-generation feature set? Right now? Our functionality is unmatched, but our sticky raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We think we know that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also benchmark efficiently. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media project management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you exploit super-intuitively, you may have to extend extensibly. What does the standard industry term "visionary" really mean? Do you have a plan to become proactive? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be intuitive?