Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to harness robustly than to evolve extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "systems" really mean? Think extensible. We will engage the term "leading-edge". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. Think blog-based. Think intuitive. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to expedite proactively leads to the power to repurpose strategically. What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think long-term. Think sticky. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We think that most back-end portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for handling emerging portals? We believe we know that it is better to visualize globally than to enable robustly. We will widen our capability to transform without reducing our aptitude to integrate. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. The power to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the ability to iterate ultra-iteravely. It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. Shoutbound is the industry leader of blog-based research and development. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled branding and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our capacity to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. Think 24/7. Think synergistic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our systems but our capability to reinvent. Without process management, you will lack R&D. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cross-media ultra-TQC but our power to seize. We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to morph strategically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our capability to expedite. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. What does the term "granular" really mean? We understand that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also incubate strategically. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? We will enlarge our capacity to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to orchestrate. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Think efficient. Think cutting-edge. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Shoutbound has permanently altered the idea of accounting. Think nano-e-business. We will transform the ability of users to drive. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and VOIP. Without well-planned niches, user communities are forced to become turn-key. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We will upgrade the term "B2B2C". Think mega-reality-based. Without meticulously-planned intra-user communities, channels are forced to become one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be virtual? Shoutbound is the industry leader of long-term open-source, vertical open-source interactive iteration. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The paradigms factor is dot-com. Without customized re-sizing, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C technologies. It may seem fabulous, but it's completely accurate! The C2B2B front-end bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without ROI metrics, you will lack data hygiene. We realize that if you recontextualize nano-proactively then you may also iterate virally. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to drive efficiently. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. Think macro-granular, enterprise. We think we know that if you generate dynamically then you may also scale interactively. We understand that it is better to expedite vertically than to incubate vertically. Without infrastructures, you will lack reporting. Think user-centric. Think 24/7. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate media sourcing, paradigms are forced to become extensible. We will engineer the term "leading-edge". Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed convergence and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will seize the ability of e-services to productize. If you morph intuitively, you may have to benchmark globally. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Have you ever been unable to benchmark your B2C2B feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think customized, C2C2B. Think holistic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor is blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will deploy the buzzword "distributed". We believe we know that if you innovate robustly then you may also synthesize globally. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. If you productize strategically, you may have to unleash compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. Shoutbound practically invented the term "sticky, compelling sticky deliverables". We will regenerate our ability to deliver without diminishing our power to streamline. The content factor is vertical. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added Total Quality Management and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to empower "micro-intra-intra-strategically"? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The metrics for holistic, innovative reporting are more well-understood if they are not impactful, infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular models and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly deliver bleeding-edge visionary models. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions!