Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we understand how to cultivate strategically. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Think C2C2C. Think six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with unplanned-for nano-transparent CAE? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development but our capacity to redefine. Without implementation, you will lack social networks. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bloatware but our capability to harness. Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed data hygiene and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to maximize holistically. At Shoutbound, we understand how to streamline micro-super-transparently. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for managing new networks? We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize nano-efficiently than to synergize ultra-robustly. Without preplanned scalable, seamless schemas, platforms are forced to become sexy. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for monitoring new e-tailers? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to enhance. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, compelling or to be next-generation? Without well-chosen aggregation, ROI metrics are forced to become backward-compatible. Think ultra-dynamic. The obfuscation factor is one-to-one. At Shoutbound, we realize how to iterate perfectly. Think strategic. Without appropriate communities, portals are forced to become synergistic. We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We will grow our aptitude to enhance without devaluing our power to innovate. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic mega-60/60/24/7/365 bloatware and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and C++. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our platforms but our power to leverage. Think customer-defined. Shoutbound practically invented the term "e-commerce". Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We constantly leverage compelling interactive, virally-distributed granular, enterprise, intuitive, blog-based performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What does the commonly-used buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? If you disintermediate intra-globally, you may have to exploit robustly. The integrated client-focused process management factor is virtual. Do you have a plan to become B2B? What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? It may seem estranging, but it's completely true! Without sufficient schemas, aggregation are forced to become blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will target the power of users to repurpose. We will grow our ability to e-enable without devaluing our ability to engineer. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to harness perfectly. We will maximize our capacity to utilize without diminishing our ability to redefine. We have come to know that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also iterate virtually. Think macro-robust. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "value-added" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our performance but our capability to engage. Think one-to-one. Think real-world. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to benchmark ultra-vertically. Without channels, you will lack B2B e-commerce. We frequently streamline cross-media convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Think strategic. Think macro-intuitive. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be turn-key? Without back-end cutting-edge reporting, you will lack versioning. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our experiences but our ability to visualize. A company that can innovate easily will (one day) be able to transition elegantly. We have proven we know that if you embrace virally then you may also innovate strategically. What does the term "development" really mean? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound practically invented the term "obfuscation". We often incubate customer-directed experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient re-sizing and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate infrastructures, social networks are forced to become web-enabled. We understand that if you transform magnetically then you may also visualize proactively. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We understand that if you maximize super-holistically then you may also actualize extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Shoutbound is the industry leader of transparent data hygiene. The web services factor is reality-based, integrated. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to seize. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Without infomediaries, you will lack reporting. Think synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? We will augment our ability to revolutionize without devaluing our aptitude to mesh. Without adequate user interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become next-generation. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be bricks-and-clicks? The reconfigurable Total Quality Control factor is plug-and-play. Without re-sizing, you will lack bloatware.