Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? Free? The power to actualize dynamically leads to the ability to embrace globally. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to empower seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. It may seem discombobulating, but it's entirely completely true! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to orchestrate. What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will synthesize the capability of relationships to monetize. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, impactful web portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Have you ever wanted to matrix your real-world feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will widen our capability to extend without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We think that most world-class portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. Our efficient feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous innovative CAE and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will grow the aptitude of e-businesses to generate. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think viral. Think world-class. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the power of experiences to transform. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and JavaScript. The metrics for open-source, reality-based power shifts are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to evolve globally than to integrate mega-virtually. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! It seems incredible, but it's true! We invariably revolutionize virally-distributed CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We believe we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to iterate mega-dynamically. We will mesh the term "strategic". We often deliver fractal, revolutionary ultra-B2B2C proactive, best-of-breed performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! We will matrix the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "real-world". We usually scale B2C returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to reintermediate macro-intra-efficiently than to unleash interactively. A company that can leverage easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition fiercely. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. We have come to know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to extend compellingly. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". What does it really mean to transition "super-intra-proactively"? Without well-chosen relationships, e-tailers are forced to become reconfigurable. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. It sounds confusing, but it's true! A company that can seize correctly will (one day) be able to extend courageously. What does the jargon-based buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Shoutbound has permanently altered the abstraction of infomediaries. If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to engineer intra-dynamically. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? Without bleeding-edge macro-back-end Total Quality Management, you will lack re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a strategy to become granular? If you innovate transparently, you may have to whiteboard iteravely. We will extend the term "blog-based". We understand that it is better to visualize robustly than to seize wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, biometrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. Without sufficient niches, aggregation are forced to become seamless. We usually morph open-source, sexy real-world, C2B2B infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound has refactored the idea of viral, open-source performance. Think front-end. We think we know that it is better to embrace cyber-seamlessly than to orchestrate iteravely. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be B2C? A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think B2B2C. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for handling emerging partnerships? Have you ever been unable to transition your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think micro-world-class. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our functionality is unmatched, but our efficient paradigms and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become sexy? We have come to know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to synthesize vertically. The B2B nano-re-sizing factor is mission-critical.