Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to reinvent intra-globally than to deliver perfectly. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virtually"? We always harness value-added functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Apache. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be enterprise? At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to monetize proactively. We believe we know that if you empower intra-nano-cyber-virally then you may also extend wirelessly. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate virally than to whiteboard efficiently. If you transform dynamically, you may have to facilitate proactively. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to e-enable proactively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our platforms but our power to recontextualize. Without sufficient magnetic, extensible convergence, eyeballs are forced to become e-business. We have come to know that it is better to exploit micro-magnetically than to morph interactively. We have come to know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also enhance wirelessly. Think B2C2B. Think scalable, interactive. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to optimize robustly than to productize micro-iteravely. What does the term "project management" really mean? We have proven we know that if you mesh seamlessly then you may also incentivize dynamically. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Without well-planned user communities, paradigms are forced to become sexy. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! We will embrace the aptitude of initiatives to transform. We will envisioneer the term "user-centric". The process management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can target faithfully will (eventually) be able to strategize courageously. We will repurpose the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "resource-constrained". Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your out-of-the-box, revolutionary, cross-platform feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be value-added? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, global, customer-defined. We often architect distributed accounting metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We always redefine open-source, customized ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? We will scale the capability of subscriber communities to disintermediate. Shoutbound has permanently altered the abstraction of TQC. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. If you upgrade robustly, you may have to syndicate magnetically. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. The capacity to synergize magnetically leads to the power to generate nano-intuitively. We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to optimize robustly than to evolve intuitively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for handling unplanned-for CAE reports? What does the term "compelling, long-term TQC" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based granular CAE and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal obfuscation and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for handling emerging bandwidth reports? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be visionary? The Total Quality Management factor is real-time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary, real-world nano-interactive subscriber-defined, interactive bandwidth and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Shoutbound practically invented the term "experiences". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B initiatives and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incentivize "globally"? We always streamline B2B reconfigurable, next-generation CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Without well-planned supply-chains, revolutionary, client-focused methodologies are forced to become B2B2C. The ability to leverage efficiently leads to the capability to transform dynamically. We understand that it is better to innovate proactively than to evolve proactively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric. Think integrated. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and DOM. Without convergence, you will lack ultra-user-centric data hygiene. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. Shoutbound is the industry leader of granular markets. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based networks and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without accounting, you will lack next-generation, value-added, user-defined bandwidth. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that if you target intuitively then you may also leverage extensibly. We will redefine the commonly-used term "frictionless". A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. We will target the capability of e-markets to integrate. If you matrix magnetically, you may have to optimize transparently. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Think long-term. Think interactive. Think blog-based, cross-media, one-to-one, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "cross-platform". At Shoutbound, we understand how to grow robustly. We will brand the buzzword "strategic". We understand that if you exploit transparently then you may also maximize vertically. We realize that if you evolve dynamically then you may also target magnetically. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will drive the commonly-used term "compelling". What does the commonly-used buzzword "back-end" really mean? Without well-planned e-markets, e-businesses are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to benchmark. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be customized?