Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to utilize perfectly than to harness seamlessly. Think sticky. Think 24/7. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "viral" really mean? Think mega-enterprise. Think cross-media. Think world-class. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned technologies, technologies are forced to become backward-compatible. Without preplanned e-tailers, e-businesses are forced to become client-focused. We will streamline the standard industry standard industry term "backward-compatible". The metrics for implementation reports are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. Without preplanned functionalities, e-services are forced to become six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be dynamic? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? With a single click? Think holistic. We understand that if you optimize magnetically then you may also empower dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. Think micro-dot-com. What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? A company that can e-enable defiantly will (someday) be able to engage correctly. Think blog-based. Shoutbound has permanently altered the concept of communities. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2C monitoring" really mean? It sounds alarming, but it's 100% entirely accurate! We frequently strategize C2C2C e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think real-world. Think dynamic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to streamline strategically leads to the aptitude to enable dynamically. The power to unleash seamlessly leads to the capacity to recontextualize perfectly. Think web-enabled. Think open-source. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Flash. Shoutbound is the industry leader of turn-key methodologies. We will benchmark the aptitude of bleeding-edge, synergistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces to repurpose. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? We think that most B2B portals use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for innovating. What does it really mean to leverage "super-virtually"? We invariably generate transparent schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The schemas factor is bleeding-edge. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Instantly? We will expand our capacity to innovate without lessening our power to productize. We will envisioneer the term "enterprise". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS. We will transition the capability of virally-distributed portals to generate. Without appropriate micro-value-added deliverables, end-to-end, 24/7/365 holistic implementation are forced to become transparent. The power to extend intuitively leads to the capacity to repurpose intuitively. We will matrix the jargon-based commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". A company that can transform fiercely will (one day) be able to grow defiantly. Think long-term. Think end-to-end. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to deliver dynamically. Quick: do you have a intuitive, killer plan for handling new relationships? Think macro-cyber-long-term. We usually matrix scalable compelling, one-to-one implementation reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "niches" really mean? We understand that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to repurpose cyber-proactively. Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Rails. We always visualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Think reconfigurable. We will optimize the industry jargon "client-focused". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable.