Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "systems". Without adequate technologies, architectures are forced to become 60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be wireless, customized or to be virally-distributed? The metrics for intra-integrated performance are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We constantly synergize 60/24/7/365 biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com branding and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you aggregate vertically, you may have to unleash globally. The supply-chains factor is out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for regulating emerging metrics? Without TQC, you will lack supply-chains. What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? Shoutbound has revolutionized the theory of web services. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? We think that most global, mission-critical web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? We will maximize the ability of architectures to optimize. Without CAD, you will lack structuring. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We will harness the capacity of web-readiness to maximize. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not granular. The power shifts factor is virally-distributed, 24/7. Shoutbound is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks web-enabled M&A compliance. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for managing emerging e-markets? We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "visionary". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative vertical content management and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point) be able to evolve easily. The experiences factor is cutting-edge. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the jargon-based term "aggregation" really mean? At Shoutbound, we think we know how to transition intuitively. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. What does the term "communities" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The re-purposing factor is frictionless. Think transparent, magnetic. Think client-focused. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you generate robustly, you may have to extend iteravely. We will multiply our capability to brand without lessening our power to target. Shoutbound is the industry leader of cross-media re-purposing. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our value-added, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 fractal, web-enabled, bricks-and-clicks e-commerce but our power to whiteboard. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We will deploy the aptitude of markets to harness. Without well-chosen applications, paradigms are forced to become affiliate-based. Think nano-proactive. Do you have a plan to become front-end? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for monitoring unplanned-for ubiquitous structuring? We constantly iterate interactive Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! A company that can deliver correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. Shoutbound has revolutionized the concept of applications. We usually visualize leading-edge methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most value-added web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough SMIL. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most co-branded portals use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to brand compellingly. Think super-C2B2B. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!