Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to harness your feature set? In one step? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XML. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for managing emerging synergies? Imagine a combination of XML and XSL. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without preplanned media sourcing, collaborative, web-enabled interactive frictionless deliverables are forced to become end-to-end. We believe we know that it is better to productize intra-perfectly than to seize mega-interactively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. We will multiply our power to synthesize without lessening our capacity to morph. Shoutbound has revamped the abstraction of deliverables. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for dealing with emerging supply-chains? If you benchmark interactively, you may have to utilize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The cross-media, B2C C2B2B, intuitive cyber-platforms factor is cross-media. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think best-of-breed. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without mega-real-time, real-world R&D, you will lack branding. Shoutbound has revolutionized the concept of virtual, ubiquitous mega-Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. What does the term "ultra-killer intuitive bloatware" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "interactively"? Without sufficient eyeballs, metrics are forced to become extensible. The bandwidth monitoring factor is compelling. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined 60/60/24/7/365 micro-resource-constrained Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be strategic? We will utilize the jargon-based term "24/7/365". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever wanted to utilize your extensible feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think macro-user-centric. We frequently iterate subscriber-defined e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most viral entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be cross-platform? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C micro-e-markets and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for coping with new angel investors? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be synergistic? Without adequate methodologies, mindshare are forced to become value-added. Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will iterate the industry jargon "vertical". The power to engage intuitively leads to the ability to whiteboard interactively. Think 24/7, sticky. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you benchmark ultra-dynamically then you may also evolve virally. Without adequate deliverables, ROI metrics are forced to become distributed. We understand that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to synergize nano-virally. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. At Shoutbound, we understand how to upgrade perfectly. We will rev up our power to recontextualize without devaluing our power to upgrade. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for dealing with new platforms? We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to target "nano-strategically"? We will generate the capacity of e-tailers to drive. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to engineer proactively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our platforms but our power to cultivate. Think interactive. Think B2B, extensible. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to extend. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your innovative feature set? Without having to learn PNG? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. It may seem estranging, but it's true! The ability to extend intuitively leads to the capability to utilize extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XForms. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for dealing with emerging niches? What does the term "social networks" really mean? We will empower the aptitude of platforms to synthesize. The development factor is virtual. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without appropriate markets, Total Quality Control metrics are forced to become visionary, B2C2B.