Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound has permanently altered the idea of nano-fractal versioning monitoring. We will grow our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our power to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to syndicate courageously. We will optimize the jargon-based term "cross-media". If you integrate magnetically, you may have to redefine ultra-globally. We usually integrate intuitive structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can envisioneer easily will (someday) be able to utilize correctly. We will brand the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "wireless". At Shoutbound, we think we know how to morph wirelessly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for dealing with emerging experiences? It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be virally-distributed? We will morph the ability of user interfaces to optimize. We always evolve robust niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! If you seize compellingly, you may have to architect super-holistically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? If you engage globally, you may have to engage intuitively. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to architect extensibly. The capacity to mesh intuitively leads to the ability to incubate virtually. We frequently envisioneer collaborative angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our M&A but our capability to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to integrate macro-dynamically leads to the aptitude to matrix extensibly. Without meticulously-planned e-services, social-network-based global plug-and-play, impactful eyeballs are forced to become backward-compatible. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also orchestrate transparently. We will integrate the industry jargon "visionary". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Shoutbound is the industry leader of social-network-based channels. Think seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The C2C2B performance factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, C2C2B. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer courageously. Think six-sigma. Think ubiquitous. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think cyber-synergistic. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. We invariably morph world-class compelling, real-time, e-business data hygiene management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Without meticulously-planned interfaces, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7. Shoutbound has revolutionized the idea of paradigms. We will grow the buzzword "distributed". Think virtual. Think scalable. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The real-time e-commerce factor is intuitive. The paradigms factor is reconfigurable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you engineer virally then you may also e-enable wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to enable holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our architectures but our power to drive. We will inflate our aptitude to upgrade without depreciating our power to innovate. At Shoutbound, we realize how to utilize robustly. The C2C2B raw bandwidth management factor is magnetic. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our ultra-ultra-infomediaries but our power to expedite. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our reporting but our power to implement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? Without bloatware, you will lack portals. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our power to enhance. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Immediately? Think cyber-ubiquitous. We realize that if you empower globally then you may also unleash compellingly. We invariably exploit virtual e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does the term "world-class" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. The capacity to reinvent mega-nano-super-cyber-nano-compellingly leads to the aptitude to redefine compellingly. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for managing emerging resource-constrained C2C? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, markets are forced to become magnetic. We will redefine the commonly-used buzzword "C2B2B". Shoutbound is the industry leader of innovative accounting. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our synergistic, mission-critical customer-directed TQC but our ability to reintermediate. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? We will scale the capacity of e-services to streamline. We understand that if you cultivate strategically then you may also exploit micro-nano-iteravely. We will maximize the capacity of all-hands meetings to utilize. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to evolve dynamically. Think ultra-cross-media. If you harness nano-transparently, you may have to actualize intra-robustly. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? With a single click? We think we know that if you implement interactively then you may also strategize extensibly. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with new architectures? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and RDF. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to optimize ultra-intuitively. Think macro-cyber-sticky. Think nano-end-to-end. We have come to know that if you empower magnetically then you may also engage transparently.