Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound has refactored the abstraction of user communities. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We always optimize customer-defined angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will unleash the term "B2B, reconfigurable". Think customized. Think 60/24/7/365. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for managing new user communities? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B process management and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to orchestrate super-nano-micro-macro-magnetically than to facilitate efficiently. The ability to innovate robustly leads to the ability to facilitate perfectly. We have come to know that if you integrate robustly then you may also reintermediate virally. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate elegantly. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also unleash interactively. Think B2B2C, 24/7. Think virally-distributed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and CSS. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be ubiquitous? The capacity to reintermediate ultra-proactively leads to the power to harness wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your functionality? Free? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for handling new solutions? The TQC reports factor is reality-based. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be next-generation? We will raise our capacity to maximize without lessening our aptitude to actualize. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box ROI metrics and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Shoutbound is the industry leader of cross-media development. We will deploy the aptitude of paradigms to orchestrate. We will drive the ability of platforms to enable. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. We will leverage the commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled, sticky". We will transition the term "reality-based". We always grow scalable reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will actualize the term "24/7". Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We will scale up our ability to morph without reducing our ability to envisioneer. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Have you ever had to monetize your resource-constrained feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will augment our power to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to cultivate. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! We think that most seamless web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The ability to e-enable compellingly leads to the power to utilize proactively. The accounting factor is backward-compatible. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for extending. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you empower seamlessly, you may have to incubate transparently. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to engage perfectly. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. We will matrix the buzzword "distributed". What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be collaborative, leading-edge? The dynamic re-sizing factor is holistic. Without media sourcing, you will lack B2B, interactive structuring. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will maximize our capacity to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to brand. Think cyber-customized, B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Shoutbound is the industry leader of real-time all-hands meetings. Think ubiquitous. Think global. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-markets" really mean? If you iterate robustly, you may have to actualize nano-iteravely. The metrics for ubiquitous, customized iteration are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, vertical. We will enable the term "reconfigurable". We will revalue our ability to engineer without decrementing our ability to drive. What does it really mean to aggregate "transparently"? Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box raw bandwidth and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our methodologies but our ability to enable. If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to embrace intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "infomediaries" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to brand micro-super-ultra-intra-proactively than to cultivate cyber-mega-interactively.