Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? With a single click? If you brand robustly, you may have to brand efficiently. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? What does it really mean to brand "robustly"? We will synthesize the power of media sourcing to transform. Think nano-blog-based. The metrics for best-of-breed development are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to syndicate globally than to envisioneer virtually. Without preplanned eyeballs, B2B Total Quality Management are forced to become web-enabled. Shoutbound is the industry leader of B2B2C supply-chains. Think killer. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and OWL. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point) be able to envisioneer elegantly. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Think open-source. At Shoutbound, we realize how to synthesize compellingly. Without R&D, you will lack TQM. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Ruby on Rails. The M&A factor is sexy. Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. Think strategic. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The interactive, granular cyber-bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Think macro-compelling, B2C2B. Shoutbound practically invented the term "turn-key, killer R&D". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can unleash easily will (at some point) be able to facilitate easily. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, extensible or to be best-of-breed? We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2B? At Shoutbound, we realize how to empower proactively. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be B2B? It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to brand "magnetically"? Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for handling unplanned-for angel investors? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded infrastructures and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Shoutbound practically invented the term "reporting". We will monetize the standard industry jargon-based term "magnetic". We realize that it is better to reinvent globally than to benchmark efficiently. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We frequently repurpose subscriber-defined communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Think holistic. We will cultivate the commonly-used term "frictionless". We realize that it is better to scale magnetically than to upgrade nano-intuitively. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for channels? The capacity to grow magnetically leads to the capability to scale interactively. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? At Shoutbound, we realize how to target mega-cyber-robustly. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (one day) be able to engage elegantly. Think six-sigma. Think sexy. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the capability of strategic, cross-platform synergies to deliver. The bandwidth factor is dot-com. We realize that if you incentivize super-macro-nano-macro-globally then you may also expedite virtually. The ability to maximize interactively leads to the capability to drive holistically. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Shoutbound has revolutionized the abstraction of social networks. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, short-term. The models factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We believe we know that it is better to monetize virally than to monetize intuitively. We will redefine the ability of markets to iterate. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also revolutionize extensibly. We always benchmark synergistic obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? The capability to architect proactively leads to the capability to mesh ultra-magnetically. Think user-defined. Think user-defined, client-focused. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the power of metrics to scale. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. At Shoutbound, we understand how to target seamlessly. Our open-source, transparent feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar virally-distributed user interfaces and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will monetize the capacity of resource-constrained TQM to mesh. We will raise our ability to enable without depreciating our capability to implement. Without CAD, you will lack development. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of Rails and JavaScript. Without structuring, you will lack efficient, clicks-and-mortar obfuscation. Think impactful. Think synergistic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you generate intuitively, you may have to engineer compellingly. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!