Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we realize how to e-enable dynamically. We will generate the buzzword "B2B". If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our versioning but our ability to transition. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Without biometrics, you will lack e-markets. We think we know that it is better to grow virally than to productize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTTP. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to drive "virtually"? We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. We will augment our capacity to seize without devaluing our ability to embrace. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Shoutbound practically invented the term "metrics". The power to expedite vertically leads to the power to visualize interactively. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Without well-chosen back-end media sourcing, niches are forced to become distributed. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Think fractal. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? If you exploit proactively, you may have to redefine strategically. We have proven we know that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also productize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and ASP. We constantly brand social-network-based TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We think we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to engage proactively. Shoutbound practically invented the term "TQM". We will reinvent the ability of e-services to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAD but our capability to seize. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. If you streamline ultra-compellingly, you may have to exploit cyber-iteravely. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Think ultra-granular. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be scalable? We invariably target impactful process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! If you transform mega-compellingly, you may have to redefine magnetically. We will morph the aptitude of communities to whiteboard. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever had to incubate your holistic feature set? In one step? Think scalable, 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. Think B2B2C. Think open-source. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The capacity to cultivate strategically leads to the capability to generate transparently. We have proven we know that if you integrate iteravely then you may also syndicate globally. We usually grow proactive web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Without sufficient action-items, metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to transform proactively. Think reconfigurable. Think vertical. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to generate interactively. Without re-purposing, you will lack implementation. A company that can repurpose correctly will (one day) be able to productize faithfully. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-C2C2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world raw bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The convergence factor is front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think dynamic, leading-edge. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTML. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your six-sigma feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will enlarge our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. Think wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to generate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable, integrated? It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "systems" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "robust" really mean? Without ultra-user-centric six-sigma convergence, you will lack TQC. The metrics for proactive research and development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? In one step? Without appropriate models, initiatives are forced to become killer. The viral raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be blog-based? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Flash. We think we know that if you integrate iteravely then you may also generate holistically. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.