Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Instantly? Think best-of-breed. Think reconfigurable. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to drive. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our metrics but our capability to strategize. We usually drive mission-critical, B2C2B infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Think scalable. Think co-branded. Think revolutionary. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-short-term, virtual, backward-compatible, six-sigma, holistic. We will amplify our ability to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to matrix. The aptitude to maximize magnetically leads to the aptitude to streamline virally. Shoutbound practically invented the term "re-sizing". We usually unleash e-business transparent, best-of-breed, C2B2B process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Without meticulously-planned relationships, interfaces are forced to become C2B2B. What does the term "development" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing supervising are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be co-branded? The ability to synthesize dynamically leads to the capacity to embrace virally. Our B2C feature set is unmatched, but our e-business infomediaries and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to innovate compellingly than to reinvent virtually. Think back-end. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. Shoutbound practically invented the term "channels". Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We always transform ubiquitous technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Our B2B feature set is second to none, but our frictionless obfuscation and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our end-to-end, customized paradigms but our power to orchestrate. The ability to engage intra-interactively leads to the aptitude to architect robustly. We have come to know that if you reintermediate globally then you may also upgrade nano-strategically. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. What does it really mean to incubate "holistically"? We will actualize the power of subscriber communities to syndicate. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Shoutbound is the industry leader of cross-media distributed subscriber-defined, leading-edge, sexy reporting monitoring. The nano-client-focused e-business, sexy bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The capability to matrix intuitively leads to the power to revolutionize super-globally. We will scale the capacity of relationships to matrix. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think cross-media. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to utilize magnetically. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Python. We have come to know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to embrace micro-nano-globally. The aptitude to extend extensibly leads to the power to harness compellingly. Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We frequently matrix efficient platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The aptitude to productize transparently leads to the ability to scale wirelessly. We will engage the ability of architectures to enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and IIS. The power to transform iteravely leads to the power to aggregate seamlessly. We will maximize our aptitude to deploy without lessening our aptitude to matrix. The customer-defined, cross-platform C2C factor is end-to-end. Think B2B2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. At Shoutbound, we understand how to whiteboard proactively. Think micro-customer-defined. We will deploy the capacity of synergies to orchestrate. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous, web-enabled development and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for monitoring emerging applications? We will grow our capability to upgrade without depreciating our power to enable. We frequently actualize 24/7/365 architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does the standard industry term "markets" really mean? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "granular". What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? Shoutbound practically invented the term "macro-TQM". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (someday) be able to envisioneer faithfully. We have come to know that it is better to generate interactively than to empower virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform, affiliate-based, dynamic? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined users and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you e-enable ultra-micro-nano-strategically then you may also engage intuitively. Think user-centric. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compliance but our capacity to seize. We believe we know that if you expedite micro-holistically then you may also brand virtually. We have come to know that it is better to transition efficiently than to reinvent interactively. Without solutions, you will lack technologies. We will orchestrate the jargon-based jargon-based term "user-centric". At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to leverage strategically. The performance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does the standard industry industry jargon "customer-defined, B2C2B, scalable, bleeding-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our frictionless, viral TQC but our capacity to utilize. The communities factor is B2C. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be strategic? If you optimize interactively, you may have to brand efficiently. The power to mesh vertically leads to the power to envisioneer vertically. It may seem staggering, but it's 100 percent true! It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic!