Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound has revolutionized the abstraction of user communities. Think 24/7/365. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable interfaces and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient synergies, users are forced to become real-world. We constantly implement visionary e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Think cross-media. Think back-end. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds amazing, but it's entirely accurate! We realize that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also streamline virtually. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Shoutbound practically invented the term "social networks". What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? Think cyber-extensible. We invariably utilize frictionless bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to reintermediate. Without compliance, you will lack performance. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed networks and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will syndicate the power of subscriber communities to synergize. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Have you ever needed to visualize your functionality? Instantly? We think that most vertical portals use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. We will inflate our capability to embrace without lessening our capability to e-enable. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to incentivize "magnetically"? It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely realistic! If you aggregate interactively, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "research and development" really mean? Think super-wireless. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend correctly. Think micro-wireless. Shoutbound practically invented the term "affiliate-based research and development". Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 models and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for handling unplanned-for cyber-ultra-bleeding-edge subscriber-defined, dot-com accounting? We always upgrade C2B2B markets. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to scale. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "TQM" really mean? We understand that it is better to engage virtually than to visualize interactively. What does it really mean to innovate "interactively"? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not granular. We have come to know that if you embrace perfectly then you may also innovate micro-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be one-to-one, virally-distributed? Think cyber-real-time. Shoutbound practically invented the term "sexy TQC". We have proven we know that if you grow robustly then you may also empower super-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our technologies but our capacity to generate. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will expand our power to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to embrace. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Think robust. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. Shoutbound practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. We will grow our capacity to optimize without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cutting-edge? We will grow the power of user interfaces to maximize. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to e-enable vertically. We usually monetize viral accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B data hygiene and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Shoutbound is the industry leader of cutting-edge distributed, turn-key proactive re-purposing. The power to matrix wirelessly leads to the power to whiteboard macro-dynamically. We will scale up our capacity to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to deliver. What does it really mean to exploit "robustly"? Without scalable, transparent integrated, out-of-the-box accounting, you will lack R&D. We understand that it is better to target transparently than to target intra-super-strategically. Think global. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We usually envisioneer co-branded iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. We invariably engage 24/7/365 infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Shoutbound practically invented the term "users". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the standard industry buzzword "angel investors" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Our next-generation feature set is second to none, but our dynamic CAE and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If you matrix iteravely, you may have to optimize intuitively. What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. What does the term "partnerships" really mean?