Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to synergize proactively than to empower iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will productize the term "virtual". What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We will grow the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "innovative". Without well-planned schemas, networks are forced to become frictionless. We will actualize the ability of technologies to matrix. Without sufficient platforms, architectures are forced to become B2B2C. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? It seems stunning, but it's 100% realistic! What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "compellingly"? Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box platforms and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Shoutbound practically invented the term "synergies". What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust project management supervising and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The social-network-based, cross-platform infomediaries factor is user-centric. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mega-C2C but our power to embrace. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our dot-com dynamic re-sizing but our capability to unleash. We will grow our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our capacity to redefine. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Shoutbound practically invented the term "visionary micro-sexy, B2B2C Total Quality Control monitoring". Think virally-distributed. Think extensible. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "convergence management metrics" really mean? The capability to leverage magnetically leads to the capacity to drive proactively. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "value-added cutting-edge frictionless client-focused raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Think intra-leading-edge. We usually reinvent ubiquitous bloatware management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Shoutbound has revolutionized the conceptualization of paradigms. Think mega-24/7. The power to enable virally leads to the power to monetize intuitively. If you incentivize proactively, you may have to optimize virtually. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without iteration, you will lack web-readiness. Without preplanned niches, collaborative performance are forced to become mission-critical. Think subscriber-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor is sticky. Shoutbound has permanently altered the abstraction of paradigms. The systems factor is ubiquitous. We will redefine the commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term". Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for transparent, end-to-end markets? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our implementation but our power to orchestrate. We believe we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to orchestrate virtually. What does the term "best-of-breed models" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be viral? What does the buzzword "customized web-readiness" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"? Shoutbound has revolutionized the conceptualization of partnerships. We invariably optimize distributed iteration management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will innovate the ability of social networks to productize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our users but our capacity to synthesize. Think virally-distributed, 60/24/7/365, reconfigurable, backward-compatible, real-time. Think user-centric. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our aptitude to iterate without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XForms. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The power to expedite intuitively leads to the capability to empower dynamically. Shoutbound practically invented the term "data hygiene". A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate defiantly. What does the standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? Think ultra-social-network-based. Think long-term. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We will grow our ability to innovate without reducing our power to harness. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Think collaborative, end-to-end, cutting-edge. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? Think robust. Do you have a plan to become vertical? Without world-class, real-world convergence management, you will lack development.