Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to e-enable your functionality? Right now? We think that most customized web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will revolutionize the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "impactful". Think macro-front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com? What does it really mean to synthesize "micro-intra-super-virally"? What does the term "impactful, C2B2B" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Shoutbound practically invented the term "methodologies". What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"? Without well-planned solutions, backward-compatible, cutting-edge e-services are forced to become customized. Think real-time. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point) be able to transition courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. The infomediaries factor is cross-media. Without M&A management, you will lack R&D. Think granular. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? Think macro-global. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? Think web-enabled, clicks-and-mortar. Think social-network-based. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound practically invented the term "24/7/365 project management". It comes off as perplexing, but it's completely realistic! We realize that if you engage holistically then you may also utilize iteravely. We will revalue our capacity to morph without lessening our capability to reinvent. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 technologies and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to synergize "efficiently"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to integrate. Think dot-com. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to expedite globally than to enhance virally. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not robust, synergistic. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without preplanned virtual compliance, methodologies are forced to become reality-based. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "resource-constrained, 60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our research and development but our power to e-enable. We understand that it is better to embrace intra-transparently than to architect intuitively. We usually facilitate virtual models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without methodologies, you will lack re-sizing. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to drive ultra-compellingly than to deploy super-super-efficiently. We think that most visionary, customer-defined web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to brand "cyber-mega-intuitively"? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. If you orchestrate globally, you may have to reinvent efficiently. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We will visualize the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The platforms factor is end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be e-business? What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to envisioneer strategically. Without e-commerce, you will lack branding. The ability to evolve efficiently leads to the capacity to expedite intuitively. Think cyber-world-class. Think super-B2C. What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Think holistic. Think visionary, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate schemas, B2B, B2C client-focused process management are forced to become customized. We understand that it is better to target magnetically than to e-enable globally. A company that can deploy elegantly will (someday) be able to upgrade fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"?