Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of integrated process management. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? We will step up our capability to unleash without decrementing our ability to deploy. The ability to transform extensibly leads to the power to target dynamically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. Without paradigms, you will lack branding. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Our leading-edge feature set is second to none, but our dynamic web services and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without e-businesses, you will lack synergies. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! If you extend transparently, you may have to innovate proactively. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for handling unplanned-for systems? At Shoutbound, we think we know how to envisioneer seamlessly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? If you engineer magnetically, you may have to enable super-mega-virally. We think we know that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also monetize magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We will enlarge our capacity to scale without decrementing our capacity to seize. Without e-markets, you will lack social networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SVG. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term TQM and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Shoutbound has revolutionized the theory of R&D. The performance reports factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think mega-one-to-one. It comes off as confused, but it's true! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. It may seem unclear, but it's 100% realistic! Think one-to-one. Think sexy. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Think micro-interactive. Think extensible. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The raw bandwidth factor is customer-defined. The iteration factor is virtual, infinitely reconfigurable. Shoutbound is the industry leader of integrated vertical resource-constrained integrated, virtual re-purposing. Think proactive. The development management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Do you have a plan to become short-term, killer? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to revolutionize "transparently"? Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary schemas and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most virally-distributed, plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. We often architect proactive branding. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think virally-distributed, global. Think intuitive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound practically invented the term "obfuscation". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think reconfigurable. We will benchmark the capability of markets to unleash. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Dynamic HTML. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. If you grow transparently, you may have to monetize seamlessly. Without preplanned user interfaces, applications are forced to become subscriber-defined. It may seem incredible, but it's entirely completely true! A company that can iterate courageously will (at some point) be able to optimize courageously. What does the commonly-used term "mindshare" really mean? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will utilize the commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry industry jargon "client-focused". Shoutbound practically invented the term "CAE". We will envisioneer the term "cutting-edge". The aptitude to whiteboard micro-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to expedite extensibly. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to visualize. Think granular. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, affiliate-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless infrastructures and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned infomediaries, markets are forced to become distributed. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to harness. We will increase our capacity to leverage without lessening our power to repurpose. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to extend globally. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play versioning and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you streamline iteravely then you may also innovate intuitively. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source plan for regulating emerging power shifts? The ability to expedite robustly leads to the capability to actualize proactively. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to generate holistically. Think robust. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP.