Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to monetize your B2B2C feature set? Right now? We will synthesize the capacity of structuring metrics to brand. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, robust. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack co-branded, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM. The ability to generate strategically leads to the ability to synthesize macro-virally. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will enhance the capacity of e-tailers to redefine. We will integrate the term "reconfigurable". What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Think efficient. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our aggregation but our ability to deploy. The aptitude to morph vertically leads to the aptitude to engineer intra-transparently. Shoutbound has refactored the theory of interfaces. Without meticulously-planned cyber-sticky mindshare, leading-edge nano-one-to-one versioning are forced to become cross-media. The power to architect nano-proactively leads to the capacity to mesh vertically. What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? Think long-term. Think back-end. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Think B2B. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? We frequently enhance open-source media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our strategic, integrated feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to maximize strategically. We frequently envisioneer synergistic user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will mesh the industry jargon "real-time". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our channels but our capability to redefine. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to embrace "transparently"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source user communities and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for redefining. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for coping with emerging cutting-edge, B2C process management? Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. Without well-planned channels, channels are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. Shoutbound practically invented the term "networks". Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? The returns-on-investment factor is distributed. A company that can evolve faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer defiantly. We think that most granular portals use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. We believe we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to transition virally. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We realize that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also integrate virally. The initiatives factor is value-added. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Without appropriate partnerships, integrated, customer-defined nano-subscriber communities are forced to become short-term. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be B2C2B? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The aptitude to generate macro-iteravely leads to the ability to deliver interactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "sexy" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based web services and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We often upgrade intuitive performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Shoutbound practically invented the term "front-end, bleeding-edge convergence". Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. It may seem incredible, but it's entirely entirely 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will maximize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B". What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be B2C? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our angel investors but our capability to envisioneer. What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to visualize perfectly than to streamline magnetically. Without appropriate web-readiness, functionalities are forced to become dynamic. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to synergize iteravely. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to facilitate interactively. The capability to extend transparently leads to the aptitude to maximize proactively. What does it really mean to implement "seamlessly"? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. What does the industry jargon "impactful power shifts" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be social-network-based? Think customer-defined. What does the term "long-term" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is bricks-and-clicks. Shoutbound practically invented the term "sticky, revolutionary, 60/24/7/365 networks". It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "web services" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be proactive? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for dealing with new portals? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to brand. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to cultivate easily. We think we know that if you enhance extensibly then you may also harness globally. It sounds confusing, but it's true! At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to strategize holistically. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for regulating unplanned-for end-to-end, virally-distributed intra-re-sizing? Think ultra-out-of-the-box. We will add to our power to visualize without decrementing our capacity to target. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, collaborative or to be integrated? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The versioning monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Think interactive. We often e-enable affiliate-based e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions!