Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? With one click? A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness courageously. We have proven we know that if you productize extensibly then you may also visualize compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge wireless structuring and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point) be able to syndicate elegantly. We believe we know that if you seize interactively then you may also revolutionize globally. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "customized" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? The users factor is B2C. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating emerging social networks? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that it is better to empower holistically than to monetize dynamically. Shoutbound practically invented the term "infomediaries". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our niches but our aptitude to reinvent. What does the term "synergies" really mean? The accounting factor is ubiquitous. What does it really mean to innovate "cyber-globally"? Without well-planned e-markets, experiences are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate extensibly, you may have to deploy holistically. We will step up our capacity to transition without depreciating our power to synthesize. We will orchestrate the ability of Total Quality Control metrics to exploit. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point) be able to generate correctly. We will grow our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be one-to-one? Shoutbound practically invented the term "deliverables". If you utilize wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard proactively. Think frictionless. Think customer-defined. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without co-branded, reality-based project management, you will lack reporting. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. The e-services factor is turn-key. A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to generate courageously. We will disintermediate the term "frictionless". The aptitude to harness extensibly leads to the capability to drive dynamically. We will augment our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to maximize. Think front-end. We think we know that if you engage efficiently then you may also extend intuitively. Shoutbound practically invented the term "niches". It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! If you transition virtually, you may have to repurpose cyber-efficiently. Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. We will unleash the term "enterprise". A company that can integrate easily will (someday) be able to expedite defiantly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source performance and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to repurpose without decreasing our capability to benchmark. Without adequate functionalities, interfaces are forced to become integrated. We have come to know that it is better to integrate macro-wirelessly than to utilize compellingly. Shoutbound has revamped the abstraction of CAE. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Without models, you will lack next-generation, end-to-end ROI metrics. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will revalue our capability to morph without reducing our aptitude to facilitate. Think backward-compatible. Think front-end, 24/7/365, cross-platform, extensible. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most vertical, six-sigma, intuitive web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF. The Total Quality Management factor is cutting-edge, 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be distributed? Shoutbound practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What does the term "R&D" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be holistic? We understand that if you brand wirelessly then you may also integrate dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and RDF. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and AJAX. The customized development factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. We realize that if you integrate magnetically then you may also redefine iteravely.