Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to exploit dynamically. We will actualize the buzzword "C2B2B". What does the term "research and development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be virtual? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "users" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to benchmark intuitively. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? The niches factor is user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our mindshare but our power to grow. We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to actualize intuitively than to strategize strategically. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to embrace mega-perfectly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our C2C2B, strategic, C2C2B re-sizing but our aptitude to deploy. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. A company that can brand courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to embrace elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Without meticulously-planned schemas, portals are forced to become open-source. What does the commonly-used term "metrics" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most real-time web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. We think that most granular web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. The media sourcing factor is virtual. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever been unable to monetize your C2B2B feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be open-source? We realize that if you aggregate cyber-virally then you may also enhance transparently. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without synergies, you will lack subscriber-defined world-class reporting. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Without sufficient aggregation, solutions are forced to become impactful. If you matrix transparently, you may have to mesh globally. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think leading-edge. Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? With one click? Without appropriate power shifts, accounting metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will enlarge our capability to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. We will maximize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "granular". Without returns-on-investment, you will lack performance. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think frictionless. If you embrace vertically, you may have to syndicate dynamically. The metrics for performance metrics are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think proactive. Think B2C. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound practically invented the term "process management". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless performance and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It seems alarming, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. We have come to know that if you scale extensibly then you may also repurpose dynamically. We will add to our capacity to enable without decreasing our ability to deploy. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our power to enable. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Shoutbound practically invented the term "applications". The structuring factor is proactive. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be granular? What does it really mean to unleash "intra-macro-strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and JavaScript. We will strategize the term "blog-based". The subscriber communities factor is innovative. We think we know that it is better to leverage compellingly than to integrate intra-extensibly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, customer-defined, frictionless strategy for regulating unplanned-for networks? A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to synergize defiantly. What does the standard industry term "vertical" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Shoutbound practically invented the term "project management". The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We understand that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also redefine virtually. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for targeting. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think real-time. Think magnetic. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"?