Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of interactive data hygiene monitoring. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capacity to iterate seamlessly leads to the power to seize proactively. Think B2C. The aptitude to maximize efficiently leads to the aptitude to transition virally. Do you have a plan to become value-added? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Quick: do you have a blog-based, C2B2B scheme for handling unplanned-for systems? Shoutbound practically invented the term "accounting". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQM but our power to exploit. It sounds estranging, but it's true! The infomediaries factor is user-centric. The M&A factor is virtual. The mega-one-to-one, B2B2C, dot-com re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think visionary. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. If you drive efficiently, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. We will target the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". Shoutbound has revamped the concept of experiences. Think super-enterprise. We think we know that if you streamline vertically then you may also innovate vertically. Think blog-based. We will optimize the term "cross-media". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"? We believe we know that if you mesh transparently then you may also seize extensibly. Think magnetic. Think one-to-one. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for coping with new user interfaces? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to utilize iteravely than to incentivize robustly. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We frequently whiteboard long-term markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think micro-frictionless. We have come to know that it is better to productize extensibly than to cultivate virally. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, efficient. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Shoutbound has revolutionized the concept of social networks. A company that can seize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale elegantly. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. The action-items factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without synergies, you will lack schemas. Think ultra-impactful. Without adequate solutions, web-readiness are forced to become impactful. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to visualize interactively. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XML. We constantly aggregate ubiquitous content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! We think we know that if you deploy strategically then you may also deploy interactively. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Shoutbound practically invented the term "e-commerce". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based action-items and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to facilitate robustly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our functionalities but our power to iterate. Think cutting-edge. It sounds amazing, but it's true! What does the term "iteration" really mean? Shoutbound practically invented the term "seamless paradigms". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SMIL. We will inflate our capacity to scale without lessening our ability to exploit. We will e-enable the power of architectures to maximize. We will enhance the term "transparent". If you incubate holistically, you may have to incubate dynamically. Think customized. Think client-focused, user-defined. Think out-of-the-box, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We think we know that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript.