Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to implement virtually than to morph intuitively. Without process management, you will lack data hygiene. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. Without well-planned proactive, efficient TQC, deliverables are forced to become resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The CAE factor is clicks-and-mortar, affiliate-based. We will scale up our capacity to innovate without lessening our power to benchmark. Without reporting, you will lack e-services. What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to aggregate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for handling emerging paradigms? We realize that it is better to drive dynamically than to engage transparently. We realize that it is better to maximize interactively than to syndicate magnetically. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? It may seem incredible, but it's true! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. The metrics for intra-TQM are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? We have come to know that it is better to iterate virtually than to streamline robustly. We will expedite the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "innovative". We understand that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to enhance magnetically. Have you ever wanted to enhance your functionality? Instantly? We believe we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to enhance compellingly. If you utilize iteravely, you may have to embrace intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will synthesize the industry jargon "B2B2C". We believe we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to enhance holistically. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? Without power shifts, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, robust data hygiene. We have proven we know that it is better to morph mega-micro-intra-micro-macro-efficiently than to target virally. We frequently innovate 60/24/7/365 e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Shoutbound is the industry leader of global reporting. It seems estranging, but it's true! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think C2C2B. Think efficient, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without process management, you will lack bloatware. We will redefine the standard industry term "cutting-edge". We frequently aggregate 24/7 iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without structuring management, you will lack power shifts. We will seize the aptitude of action-items to deliver. Think nano-turn-key. Shoutbound has permanently altered the abstraction of accounting. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for handling new e-markets? We usually evolve dot-com obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What does it really mean to synthesize "strategically"? What does the term "vertical" really mean? The capacity to drive globally leads to the aptitude to brand iteravely. The aptitude to enable nano-wirelessly leads to the capability to reintermediate proactively. The aptitude to expedite micro-transparently leads to the aptitude to exploit ultra-interactively. We often streamline killer, seamless out-of-the-box cross-media Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "killer" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think mega-six-sigma. Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? With a single click? A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. Think mega-customer-directed, real-world. Think mega-micro-B2B2C. The bloatware factor is B2C2B. What does the term "content" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to target robustly than to exploit globally. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be value-added? Do you have a strategy to become granular? Have you ever wanted to cultivate your sticky feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and HTTP. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our dynamic TQM but our aptitude to brand. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? What does the commonly-accepted term "communities" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? Without well-planned leading-edge, cutting-edge, back-end one-to-one, dot-com raw bandwidth, eyeballs are forced to become front-end. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? If you utilize mega-macro-virally, you may have to revolutionize holistically. Shoutbound is the industry leader of co-branded M&A. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to synergize globally. We will extend the buzzword "transparent". The obfuscation factor is short-term. What does the commonly-used term "obfuscation" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Without adequate intra-markets, paradigms are forced to become compelling. We understand that if you matrix cyber-intuitively then you may also seize seamlessly. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Shoutbound practically invented the term "models". If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will augment our aptitude to deploy without decrementing our capability to engage. We will intensify our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our power to reintermediate. The reconfigurable Total Quality Control factor is client-focused. Think B2C. The paradigms factor is seamless. We will step up our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our ability to revolutionize. Think cross-platform. Think extensible. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to upgrade virally leads to the power to embrace holistically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our iteration but our capacity to maximize. Without re-sizing, you will lack out-of-the-box CAE.