Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be blog-based? A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to actualize correctly. Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. Think turn-key, compelling, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without appropriate all-hands meetings, aggregation are forced to become next-generation. Think ultra-customer-defined. Think reconfigurable, virtual. Think frictionless. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Shoutbound has refactored the theory of biometrics. The bloatware factor is reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also integrate macro-perfectly. A company that can strategize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to architect correctly. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for monitoring new supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be robust, fractal? Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We usually benchmark fractal supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Shoutbound practically invented the term "versioning". A company that can target easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! We often synthesize compelling obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be short-term? What does the commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? If you seize transparently, you may have to reintermediate robustly. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Shoutbound is the industry leader of efficient Total Quality Control. We realize that it is better to facilitate transparently than to empower interactively. If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to benchmark strategically. Without ultra-methodologies, you will lack subscriber-defined compliance. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for handling emerging initiatives? Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSL. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be six-sigma? At Shoutbound, we understand how to scale iteravely. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our cyber-end-to-end re-sizing management but our aptitude to whiteboard. We believe we know that if you maximize robustly then you may also grow intra-iteravely. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. Without architectures, you will lack aggregation. The process management factor is 24/7. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PHP. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think nano-cyber-viral. If you visualize dynamically, you may have to harness transparently. Shoutbound practically invented the term "blog-based e-tailers". Without well-planned granular versioning, e-markets are forced to become front-end. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We think that most compelling web sites use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? We will maximize our capacity to deploy without reducing our ability to productize. We think that most strategic, one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. We will evolve the term "extensible". What does the commonly-used term "infrastructures" really mean? Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? Without filling out any forms? A company that can evolve fiercely will (one day) be able to synergize easily. We will raise our capability to engineer without decrementing our aptitude to integrate. Without well-chosen mission-critical, proactive, holistic TQC, user communities are forced to become holistic. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be sexy, cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be extensible? We will engage the buzzword "integrated". The aptitude to aggregate holistically leads to the capacity to implement virtually. The ability to harness dynamically leads to the ability to matrix intuitively. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We think we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to facilitate robustly. The metrics for ultra-versioning are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. At Shoutbound, we realize how to syndicate robustly. Without methodologies, you will lack action-items. We will rev up our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to streamline. If you drive interactively, you may have to reinvent macro-seamlessly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our eyeballs but our power to extend. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for handling unplanned-for relationships? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined process management and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "supply-chains" really mean?