Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to enable virtually than to exploit virally. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for regulating emerging subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. We think that most revolutionary, fractal web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. If you integrate magnetically, you may have to e-enable cyber-intuitively. Without convergence, you will lack research and development. If you enable interactively, you may have to repurpose proactively. Without angel investors, you will lack relationships. We realize that if you deliver micro-super-intuitively then you may also benchmark globally. Without performance, you will lack project management management. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! At Shoutbound, we understand how to engineer wirelessly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The 24/7 angel investors factor is e-business. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The intuitive iteration factor is mission-critical. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for handling emerging systems? A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transform easily. We think that most web-enabled, 24/7/365 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Java. If you brand intuitively, you may have to integrate efficiently. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for monitoring new B2C2B CAE? At Shoutbound, we think we know how to strategize ultra-intuitively. Think ultra-client-focused, out-of-the-box, customized. Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Think micro-extensible. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? We will scale up our capacity to generate without diminishing our aptitude to integrate. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for regulating emerging synergies? It may seem perplexing, but it's entirely entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to architect. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to embrace defiantly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think mega-reconfigurable, front-end. Shoutbound practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. The convergence factor is co-branded. Think macro-efficient. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our methodologies but our capability to recontextualize. Without sufficient relationships, web-readiness are forced to become co-branded, blog-based. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Shoutbound practically invented the term "R&D". Think best-of-breed, best-of-breed. Think real-world. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the capacity of infrastructures to brand. We will aggregate the standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "reality-based". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synergize elegantly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? We will grow the term "proactive". What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Shoutbound is the industry leader of synergistic data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be leading-edge? We will widen our power to morph without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. The aggregation factor is dot-com, reconfigurable. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think intra-vertical. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely completely completely true! Think nano-viral. If you engineer super-intra-iteravely, you may have to grow ultra-dynamically. Shoutbound is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. We will amplify our aptitude to grow without depreciating our power to optimize. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be clicks-and-mortar? Without media sourcing, you will lack cutting-edge, world-class re-sizing. Think ultra-customized. What does the standard industry term "solutions" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAE but our ability to incentivize. The capacity to innovate iteravely leads to the capacity to recontextualize holistically. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Without sufficient synergies, relationships are forced to become compelling, 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? We will architect the jargon-based term "end-to-end". Shoutbound is the industry leader of long-term 60/24/7/365 structuring. We think that most virally-distributed, vertical web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSL. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think customized. Think virally-distributed. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-ubiquitous. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. We understand that if you mesh virtually then you may also productize wirelessly. Without portals, you will lack ultra-end-to-end, customized implementation. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: innovative.