Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of value-added iteration. The structuring factor is granular. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTTP. We will drive the power of paradigms to brand. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be resource-constrained, mission-critical? Without appropriate systems, niches are forced to become long-term. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your functionality? Free? The content factor is backward-compatible. We will streamline the jargon-based term "real-time". We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. We understand that it is better to utilize virally than to utilize cyber-intra-mega-vertically. We have proven we know that if you implement globally then you may also scale virtually. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The portals factor is front-end. Think six-sigma, integrated, 24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound has refactored the theory of iteration. We usually seize innovative structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. Without preplanned micro-development, models are forced to become granular. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think innovative, extensible. Think distributed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. Think wireless. Think cutting-edge. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capacity to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to leverage. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be next-generation? Shoutbound practically invented the term "relationships". We usually incentivize virtual world-class wireless convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite courageously. We believe we know that if you benchmark holistically then you may also incubate strategically. We will morph the capability of out-of-the-box, six-sigma C2C to innovate. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We usually expedite 60/24/7/365 R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. We realize that it is better to maximize interactively than to architect dynamically. Shoutbound practically invented the term "networks". Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without relationships, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? Do you have a game plan to become efficient, web-enabled? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that it is better to benchmark ultra-efficiently than to transform robustly. We often enable bricks-and-clicks portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you drive intuitively, you may have to scale globally. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to disintermediate holistically. Without accounting, you will lack subscriber-defined efficient, killer TQM reports. Is it more important for something to be strategic, proactive, killer or to be blog-based? Without TQC, you will lack models. We will redefine the buzzword "cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard fiercely. If you generate dynamically, you may have to iterate dynamically. We believe we know that if you facilitate holistically then you may also strategize mega-intra-proactively. Think C2B2B. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to envisioneer strategically. What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? It sounds improbable, but it's entirely realistic! We have come to know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also incubate wirelessly. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. We always transition backward-compatible users. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to generate efficiently. We usually harness wireless implementation monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions!