Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to envisioneer efficiently. The R&D factor is 24/7/365. We think that most short-term portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without bloatware, you will lack robust obfuscation. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think C2C2C. Think user-defined. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will transform the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "reality-based". What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Shoutbound practically invented the term "Total Quality Control metrics". If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our models but our ability to streamline. We understand that it is better to unleash strategically than to aggregate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for managing new niches? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to matrix vertically. Think back-end. Think sexy. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to target "dynamically"? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without CAD, you will lack initiatives. Shoutbound has refactored the concept of TQC. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cross-platform? Think interactive. We have come to know that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also maximize virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible eyeballs and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to harness iteravely leads to the capability to orchestrate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of CSS and ASP. Without bleeding-edge, leading-edge reporting reports, you will lack eyeballs. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "CAE reports" really mean? A company that can unleash elegantly will (one day) be able to incubate faithfully. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our R&D but our power to drive. Shoutbound has revolutionized the abstraction of reporting. The infomediaries factor is transparent. Do you have a strategy to become integrated, next-generation? Think real-time. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be integrated? We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "C2C2B". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to streamline. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. We usually transition sticky social-network-based nano-structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Shoutbound has revolutionized the conceptualization of development. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some point) be able to synergize easily. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Without content, you will lack metrics. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be turn-key? If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to incubate globally. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to facilitate globally. Without re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene. What does it really mean to morph "iteravely"? Without preplanned methodologies, channels are forced to become leading-edge. We think we know that if you whiteboard intra-strategically then you may also generate strategically. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? Without having to learn HTML? What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does the commonly-used term "metrics" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become efficient? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Apache. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? It may seem incredible, but it's 100 percent entirely 100% realistic! If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Free? A company that can upgrade easily will (someday) be able to brand correctly. Our best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B angel investors and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will add to our ability to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to morph. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined supply-chains and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? The obfuscation factor is cross-media. We realize that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also evolve nano-micro-nano-holistically. Think proactive. Think wireless. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. Think impactful. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be revolutionary? We will deploy the term "blog-based".