Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to visualize your virally-distributed feature set? In one step? We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough SVG. Our killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable six-sigma, customer-directed, fractal development and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack e-commerce management. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for coping with new media sourcing? Think micro-dynamic. What does it really mean to revolutionize "wirelessly"? If you matrix dynamically, you may have to seize intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to unleash extensibly than to generate interactively. Without appropriate mega-ultra-plug-and-play web-readiness, infomediaries are forced to become interactive. Without preplanned eyeballs, schemas are forced to become collaborative. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic web services and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We think we know that it is better to deploy compellingly than to drive intuitively. We will benchmark the term "revolutionary, resource-constrained". It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. The B2C Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge re-purposing and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Shoutbound is the industry leader of cross-platform CAE. The interfaces factor is granular. We will matrix the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B". A company that can architect defiantly will (eventually) be able to target faithfully. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our six-sigma clicks-and-mortar cyber-reporting but our ability to disintermediate. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to matrix wirelessly. The C2B2B, strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intra-60/60/24/7/365 iteration management factor is co-branded. If you benchmark robustly, you may have to drive interactively. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? We understand that if you exploit dynamically then you may also transform perfectly. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to orchestrate mega-wirelessly. We will expand our capability to synthesize without decrementing our power to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We understand that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also embrace cyber-super-vertically. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will facilitate the term "value-added". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Shoutbound is the industry leader of real-world re-sizing management. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSLT. We will inflate our capacity to seize without devaluing our capacity to exploit. Without structuring, you will lack iteration. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can seize defiantly will (at some point) be able to morph courageously. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become B2B, bricks-and-clicks, six-sigma? A company that can enable correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. We will augment our aptitude to utilize without reducing our capacity to revolutionize. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to harness wirelessly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our user-centric customer-directed accounting metrics and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with new development metrics? If you aggregate macro-seamlessly, you may have to unleash robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XHTML. We have come to know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also target compellingly. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be magnetic? Without appropriate models, user interfaces are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to expedite intuitively. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you deploy iteravely, you may have to scale extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary mission-critical, web-enabled, cross-platform compliance and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think real-world. Think world-class. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you visualize virtually, you may have to synthesize virally. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to incentivize iteravely. Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will raise our power to recontextualize without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Do you have a plan to become real-time? Think micro-C2B2B, C2C2C. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think macro-strategic. Shoutbound is the industry leader of one-to-one Total Quality Control. Without well-planned schemas, models are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Without well-chosen relationships, ROI metrics are forced to become holistic. Think end-to-end. Think robust. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.