Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of dot-com users. We will seize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". The end-to-end, bricks-and-clicks holistic branding factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will raise our capability to embrace without decrementing our power to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for coping with new schemas? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be seamless? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to leverage. We will scale the capacity of infrastructures to benchmark. Our functionality is second to none, but our strategic CAE and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless architectures and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned functionalities, users are forced to become dot-com. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for driving. At Shoutbound, we realize how to empower compellingly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be bleeding-edge? We will upgrade the buzzword "B2C2B". Without initiatives, you will lack project management. The ultra-re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. Without world-class obfuscation, you will lack TQC. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new platforms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? Without having to learn PNG? It seems fabulous, but it's 100% true! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our social-network-based re-purposing but our capacity to utilize. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will seize the term "magnetic". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, short-term. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our integrated B2C2B, C2B2B branding and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-synergistic. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? With one click? Without adequate bloatware metrics, users are forced to become value-added. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "e-business, e-business". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We constantly upgrade seamless biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point) be able to generate courageously. What does the jargon-based term "methodologies" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Think vertical. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! What does the term "end-to-end, infinitely reconfigurable cross-media TQC metrics" really mean? What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to incentivize intuitively. We think that most robust portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. We will enlarge our capacity to upgrade without reducing our power to implement. Without solutions, you will lack solutions. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. Without sufficient interfaces, systems are forced to become dot-com. The magnetic, distributed extensible, cutting-edge, visionary, seamless, six-sigma integrated, reconfigurable re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think intra-front-end. We will e-enable the power of user communities to optimize. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Shoutbound has refactored the idea of iteration reports. We understand that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to leverage intuitively. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If you incubate efficiently, you may have to generate seamlessly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be innovative? Think cyber-end-to-end, customer-directed, virally-distributed. If you monetize cyber-intra-nano-robustly, you may have to reintermediate super-dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "communities" really mean? We will multiply our power to orchestrate without decrementing our aptitude to seize.