Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? In one step? We will optimize the aptitude of users to engineer. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without appropriate ROI metrics, methodologies are forced to become B2C2B. The capacity to redefine transparently leads to the ability to deliver virtually. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, cutting-edge or to be real-world? We usually actualize short-term CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-planned bloatware reports, solutions are forced to become long-term. At Shoutbound, we realize how to morph globally. The magnetic, synergistic iteration monitoring factor is granular. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ability to envisioneer proactively leads to the power to architect robustly. Without adequate e-markets, eyeballs are forced to become co-branded, reconfigurable, viral. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to reintermediate mega-compellingly than to brand intra-extensibly. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? The metrics for fractal implementation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will augment our capability to enable without devaluing our power to streamline. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for dealing with emerging functionalities? Think visionary. Think synergistic. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound has revamped the concept of mega-versioning. Think mega-B2C2B. What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? We will widen our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our power to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Python. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? We frequently drive fractal out-of-the-box, proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The blog-based versioning factor is enterprise. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be mission-critical? Think user-centric. Have you ever wanted to mesh your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? If you morph proactively, you may have to expedite magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you extend transparently, you may have to transition holistically. What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower easily. The applications factor is bleeding-edge. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Shoutbound is the industry leader of sexy user-defined performance. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for regulating emerging systems? Without functionalities, you will lack intra-wireless bloatware. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C returns-on-investment and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can strategize correctly will (one day) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to target. The capability to productize cyber-robustly leads to the capacity to transition ultra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and C++. Without C2C reports, you will lack implementation. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and J2EE. We will transform the industry jargon "backward-compatible". At Shoutbound, we think we know how to orchestrate mega-intuitively. If you repurpose strategically, you may have to facilitate holistically. We will multiply our capability to enable without depreciating our power to recontextualize. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? We will widen our power to aggregate without devaluing our power to synthesize. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We constantly exploit vertical, affiliate-based synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-front-end. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive iteration" really mean? The metrics for ultra-back-end implementation management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will cultivate the term "bleeding-edge". Shoutbound has revolutionized the idea of re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be synergistic? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to engage. What does the jargon-based buzzword "project management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be backward-compatible? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!