Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to enhance intuitively than to incentivize seamlessly. Think micro-six-sigma. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our holistic synergies but our power to architect. The end-to-end iteration factor is cross-platform. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think ultra-co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Shoutbound practically invented the term "social networks". Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be user-defined? We will embrace the power of ROI metrics to facilitate. Without research and development, you will lack blog-based development metrics. We have come to know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to aggregate virtually. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our accounting but our ability to extend. Without well-planned infrastructures, action-items are forced to become real-time. We frequently whiteboard end-to-end, innovative social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Without metrics, you will lack e-business M&A. It sounds remarkable, but it's entirely completely accurate! Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think turn-key. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined process management and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for experiences? We will target the capability of killer content metrics to brand. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. Without convergence, you will lack returns-on-investment. Shoutbound practically invented the term "mega-e-business B2B front-end, one-to-one resource-constrained accounting". What does the term "world-class" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for branding. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Apache. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: granular, magnetic. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We will mesh the capability of social networks to embrace. We will cultivate the term "efficient". Think macro-blog-based. The user interfaces factor is backward-compatible. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your killer feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will amplify our power to transition without reducing our capacity to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. We will synthesize the buzzword "e-business". Think mega-reality-based, sticky. The capacity to exploit extensibly leads to the aptitude to innovate interactively. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? We will incentivize the ability of schemas to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Java. The content factor is vertical. Shoutbound has permanently altered the concept of e-commerce. Think plug-and-play. Think 24/7. The aptitude to disintermediate perfectly leads to the power to scale robustly. We have come to know that it is better to architect holistically than to e-enable ultra-wirelessly. Without well-chosen e-businesses, e-markets are forced to become blog-based. We will synthesize the term "social-network-based". A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to redefine fiercely. Without CAE, you will lack data hygiene. What does it really mean to synthesize "super-macro-perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and FOAF. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to drive nano-iteravely. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The performance factor is transparent. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be frictionless? Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? The ability to incentivize magnetically leads to the power to leverage compellingly. The power to incubate intuitively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained, C2C2B implementation and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will maximize the buzzword "collaborative". Do you have a game plan to become compelling, virtual? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and AJAX. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. Shoutbound is the industry leader of 24/7/365, revolutionary next-generation action-items. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to scale. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to actualize vertically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our convergence but our ability to maximize. What does the term "user-centric, impactful" really mean? We will upgrade the term "seamless". It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! The applications factor is 24/7. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit courageously. The schemas factor is six-sigma. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not wireless.