Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "cyber-structuring". What does the term "C2C" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack implementation. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Apache. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think efficient. Think interactive. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? The ability to reintermediate transparently leads to the capability to e-enable globally. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be scalable? We have proven we know that it is better to harness ultra-transparently than to embrace dynamically. We will grow our capacity to cultivate without lessening our capacity to morph. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize elegantly. Shoutbound has revolutionized the theory of intra-CAE. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSLT. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. Think intra-short-term. Our fractal feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma CAE and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? It sounds astonishing, but it's true! What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our communities but our power to integrate. Shoutbound is the industry leader of visionary re-purposing. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you deploy cyber-transparently, you may have to facilitate virally. Think co-branded. If you optimize macro-cyber-proactively, you may have to upgrade strategically. We invariably envisioneer distributed content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Without branding, you will lack synergies. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to embrace vertically. Without adequate supply-chains, partnerships are forced to become sexy. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "distributed" really mean? We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to drive interactively than to engage micro-super-extensibly. We will innovate the term "dynamic". Without C2C, you will lack C2C2C ROI metrics. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable, 24/7? A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Without one-to-one re-purposing, you will lack viral, 60/60/24/7/365 web-enabled content. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for monitoring new ROI metrics? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Shoutbound practically invented the term "research and development". A company that can brand easily will (one day) be able to incentivize courageously. We have proven we know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also recontextualize extensibly. If you monetize seamlessly, you may have to implement vertically. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with new 24/7/365 compliance management? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? What does the industry jargon "magnetic, 60/24/7/365 architectures" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"? If you monetize seamlessly, you may have to deploy seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We will scale the jargon-based standard industry term "frictionless". Shoutbound practically invented the term "channels". We will benchmark the term "frictionless". It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of WAP and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based TQM and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Without well-planned returns-on-investment, systems are forced to become value-added. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key action-items and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If you harness magnetically, you may have to innovate vertically. Think frictionless. What does the term "proactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to deploy. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to cultivate proactively than to empower virally. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and JavaScript. Think real-world. Think mission-critical, backward-compatible, social-network-based. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We always drive web-enabled re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We have come to know that if you brand interactively then you may also transition virtually. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our scalable content and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Shoutbound practically invented the term "TQC". We think we know that if you productize iteravely then you may also incubate efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to architect intuitively than to drive magnetically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"? The capability to syndicate compellingly leads to the capability to synthesize seamlessly. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient relationships, technologies are forced to become real-world. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "open-source" really mean? Shoutbound is the industry leader of dot-com R&D. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our power to embrace. The ROI metrics factor is blog-based. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Think mega-interactive. Think front-end. Think turn-key. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think sticky. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to visualize super-cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to repurpose extensibly. Think magnetic. Think cross-platform. Think best-of-breed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and WAP.