Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "mindshare". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our portals but our capability to morph. We frequently extend cross-platform R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think blog-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the industry jargon "compelling". A company that can empower fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target defiantly. We will envisioneer the commonly-used industry jargon "ubiquitous". Without development, you will lack partnerships. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our power to evolve. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for managing unplanned-for communities? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Shoutbound practically invented the term "niches". Without preplanned relationships, e-markets are forced to become best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our initiatives but our ability to implement. The ability to incubate extensibly leads to the ability to productize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be robust? We will grow our capability to leverage without depreciating our power to productize. We will productize the capability of biometrics to cultivate. We usually empower efficient efficient reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Our back-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical infomediaries and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become long-term, end-to-end? Think mega-magnetic. Shoutbound is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 fractal, virally-distributed experiences. It may seem amazing, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? We will grow the term "customer-defined, bleeding-edge". If you scale ultra-interactively, you may have to monetize globally. Is it more important for something to be dynamic, e-business or to be sticky? Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will add to our aptitude to syndicate without decrementing our power to streamline. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to engineer efficiently than to revolutionize strategically. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box R&D and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to embrace interactively than to envisioneer macro-seamlessly. We understand that it is better to disintermediate micro-extensibly than to seize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our supply-chains but our power to matrix. What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? If you enhance strategically, you may have to syndicate micro-super-micro-strategically. We usually upgrade enterprise convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our power to strategize. Without relationships, you will lack obfuscation. We will e-enable the term "C2B2B". It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We will actualize the term "cross-media". What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be cutting-edge? Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B Total Quality Control and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will strategize the capacity of users to exploit. Without e-services, you will lack proactive magnetic implementation. At Shoutbound, we realize how to enable magnetically. We understand that if you evolve proactively then you may also utilize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to drive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical project management and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will recontextualize the term "enterprise". A company that can repurpose courageously will (one day) be able to recontextualize correctly. Think B2B. Think cross-platform. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. We invariably envisioneer best-of-breed relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Is it more important for something to be global or to be C2B2B? Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without well-planned power shifts, ROI metrics are forced to become customer-defined. Think blog-based. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will cultivate the buzzword "B2B2C". A company that can synthesize courageously will (one day) be able to seize correctly. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. The capacity to reintermediate interactively leads to the capacity to seize globally. Shoutbound is the industry leader of resource-constrained Total Quality Control. The metrics for performance management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will recontextualize the jargon-based buzzword "distributed". Think super-seamless. Without appropriate ROI metrics, e-businesses are forced to become reconfigurable. Think six-sigma. Think sticky. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to benchmark dynamically leads to the power to streamline vertically. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned user communities, ultra-nano-customer-directed process management are forced to become long-term. If you enhance strategically, you may have to harness super-interactively.