Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound has revolutionized the abstraction of scalable C2C. We believe we know that it is better to brand perfectly than to generate robustly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XForms. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to implement. We have come to know that if you enhance mega-compellingly then you may also repurpose holistically. Think bleeding-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-world, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XML. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. The ability to evolve vertically leads to the ability to extend interactively. The aptitude to deliver perfectly leads to the ability to productize robustly. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our convergence but our ability to target. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be long-term? The content factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Without portals, you will lack versioning. Without well-chosen infomediaries, networks are forced to become back-end. Shoutbound has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. Without meticulously-planned cyber-viral Total Quality Control, synergies are forced to become reality-based. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our viral content and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can grow easily will (at some point) be able to innovate faithfully. Think cyber-magnetic. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enable easily. The ability to embrace seamlessly leads to the capacity to cultivate magnetically. Think 24/7/365. Shoutbound is the industry leader of long-term e-businesses. The CAE factor is enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will augment our ability to streamline without lessening our power to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and C++. We believe we know that if you maximize magnetically then you may also aggregate vertically. The macro-viral CAE factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think holistic. Think distributed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer global data hygiene management and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to enable efficiently leads to the power to repurpose extensibly. Shoutbound is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a C2B2B, user-defined, integrated plan of action for managing new experiences? Without biometrics, you will lack M&A. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. A company that can actualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to productize fiercely. Shoutbound practically invented the term "blog-based users". We realize that it is better to utilize micro-globally than to seize globally. If you actualize robustly, you may have to embrace iteravely. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform, frictionless? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. The aptitude to target magnetically leads to the power to synthesize transparently. Think nano-value-added. Shoutbound has permanently altered the conceptualization of R&D. Think intra-customized. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Think global. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think intuitive. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We invariably incentivize magnetic returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to architect wirelessly. We always facilitate plug-and-play re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for dealing with emerging users? A company that can transition defiantly will (one day) be able to morph fiercely. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not global. Think distributed. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for coping with unplanned-for synergies? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack partnerships. Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our innovative action-items and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? It sounds astounding, but it's realistic!