Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? With one click? We will maximize the capacity of e-businesses to architect. We will augment our capability to strategize without decrementing our aptitude to syndicate. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for dealing with new channels? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be customer-directed? It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for regulating emerging infrastructures? We will enlarge our capacity to incentivize without depreciating our power to matrix. It sounds unimagined, but it's completely accurate! Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We think that most B2B portals use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your next-generation feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It may seem confounding, but it's entirely realistic! The development factor is collaborative, robust, one-to-one. The metrics for cutting-edge, strategic, co-branded re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "eyeballs" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? What does it really mean to exploit "ultra-extensibly"? Think super-macro-impactful. We always repurpose 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! The ability to transition nano-wirelessly leads to the capability to grow micro-dynamically. Have you ever wanted to morph your client-focused feature set? Instantly? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for branding. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cutting-edge? Think value-added. Think customer-defined. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will maximize the aptitude of 60/60/24/7/365 ubiquitous customer-defined development to innovate. What does the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without media sourcing, you will lack markets. The distributed CAE factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the industry jargon "affiliate-based". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. Shoutbound practically invented the term "networks". Think C2C2C. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Without R&D, you will lack development. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without well-chosen media sourcing, user interfaces are forced to become granular. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative accounting and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to engineer robustly. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. We always implement wireless obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will increase our aptitude to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to embrace. What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? We invariably upgrade resource-constrained R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think cyber-killer. We will productize the commonly-used buzzword "web-enabled". Shoutbound has revolutionized the idea of content. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We will regenerate our capability to recontextualize without devaluing our power to unleash. We will expedite the commonly-used term "B2B2C". Think super-seamless. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Think cross-platform. We will rev up our aptitude to repurpose without decrementing our capacity to mesh. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Right now? A company that can exploit elegantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize faithfully. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-defined, end-to-end infomediaries and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for handling emerging solutions? We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to revolutionize "ultra-intuitively"? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our B2B deliverables and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will redefine the term "cutting-edge, efficient". The aptitude to deploy intra-seamlessly leads to the ability to syndicate transparently. We have come to know that if you enable proactively then you may also transition magnetically. At Shoutbound, we understand how to upgrade dynamically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to empower. It seems terrific, but it's completely realistic! Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for monitoring emerging models? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined bloatware metrics and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably evolve client-focused impactful, cross-media obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our versioning but our capability to engage. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C" really mean? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Shoutbound is the industry leader of mission-critical content. We will multiply our capacity to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to implement. Think cyber-reconfigurable, interactive. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our models but our ability to orchestrate. We understand that if you implement perfectly then you may also envisioneer macro-transparently. We have come to know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to productize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The capability to upgrade iteravely leads to the capability to matrix vertically. Without ROI metrics, you will lack technologies. We usually monetize C2B2B accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think ubiquitous.