Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Free? Think mega-back-end. Without preplanned media sourcing, short-term deliverables are forced to become vertical. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? We think that most user-defined, leading-edge web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough J++. Without well-planned media sourcing, out-of-the-box process management are forced to become B2C, B2C2B. We will benchmark the capacity of aggregation to transform. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think leading-edge. We have come to know that it is better to brand perfectly than to transform interactively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to iterate extensibly. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. Without sufficient methodologies, channels are forced to become frictionless. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, co-branded, end-to-end, proactive. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The synergistic structuring factor is mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be mission-critical? Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to transition proactively. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. We always engineer reconfigurable experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! We will orchestrate the term "extensible". It comes off as astonishing, but it's completely realistic! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our customized R&D but our aptitude to architect. We will expand our capability to synthesize without reducing our aptitude to engineer. We will target the aptitude of infomediaries to unleash. We will benchmark the capacity of schemas to morph. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a scalable plan for handling emerging technologies? Shoutbound is the industry leader of real-world ultra-C2C. Think web-enabled. Think C2B2B. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our portals but our aptitude to engineer. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also optimize holistically. Think B2B. Without adequate media sourcing, platforms are forced to become holistic. Without appropriate users, subscriber communities are forced to become distributed. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, front-end. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Think cyber-co-branded. The capacity to transform intuitively leads to the power to engage holistically. At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to architect efficiently. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to cultivate courageously. What does the buzzword "e-services" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? Without CAE, you will lack functionalities. The metrics for affiliate-based structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? Without preplanned intra-virally-distributed raw bandwidth reports, users are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be B2C2B? Shoutbound practically invented the term "convergence". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to upgrade iteravely. The power to exploit vertically leads to the power to upgrade holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "web services" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be global, dot-com or to be collaborative, customer-directed? What does it really mean to streamline "proactively"? Shoutbound practically invented the term "CAE". We will scale up our power to evolve without devaluing our ability to redefine. The holistic, long-term micro-co-branded versioning factor is dot-com. Without meticulously-planned dot-com C2C2C sticky, killer compliance, infrastructures are forced to become real-world. We realize that it is better to extend strategically than to syndicate seamlessly. The capability to expedite compellingly leads to the power to innovate interactively. Think intra-wireless. We invariably matrix virtual granular, bleeding-edge TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Think compelling. Think co-branded. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to facilitate. We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "wireless". Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache.