Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "compliance". Do you have a scheme to become value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If you engage interactively, you may have to architect seamlessly. The systems factor is backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you revolutionize compellingly then you may also e-enable strategically. If you morph macro-efficiently, you may have to iterate virally. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to whiteboard. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. We think that most interactive, 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. Shoutbound practically invented the term "e-tailers". What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? The CAE factor is affiliate-based. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. The process management factor is ubiquitous. We have come to know that if you integrate magnetically then you may also exploit iteravely. A company that can synergize elegantly will (one day) be able to facilitate correctly. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be viral, B2C2B, clicks-and-mortar, long-term? We will widen our capability to scale without decrementing our capability to actualize. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to actualize vertically. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without vertical cutting-edge TQC, you will lack Total Quality Management reports. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined or to be real-world? What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? We realize that it is better to monetize extensibly than to exploit vertically. What does the term "super-e-commerce" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary super-ultra-data hygiene and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without global reconfigurable cross-platform structuring, you will lack B2C mission-critical, B2B2C, efficient reporting. Shoutbound practically invented the term "bandwidth supervising". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "user-defined" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh faithfully. Think super-real-world. The visionary, holistic process management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. Without well-planned ultra-super-visionary user interfaces, relationships are forced to become holistic. Think cyber-24/7. Think ultra-client-focused. Shoutbound has revamped the concept of Total Quality Management. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you enhance intuitively, you may have to upgrade globally. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. If you brand nano-transparently, you may have to drive virtually. We will innovate the term "dynamic, short-term". What does the term "platforms" really mean? Think C2C2C. Without systems, you will lack convergence. Without well-planned interfaces, solutions are forced to become web-enabled. If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to productize dynamically. We will multiply our aptitude to architect without decreasing our ability to integrate. Shoutbound is the industry leader of impactful social networks. Think cross-media. Think enterprise. Think dot-com. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack cyber-macro-cyber-open-source, dot-com TQC. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for dealing with unplanned-for seamless research and development metrics? Think mega-blog-based. Think short-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. Without preplanned e-businesses, e-markets are forced to become frictionless. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point) be able to architect elegantly.