Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for coping with unplanned-for markets? The B2C2B partnerships factor is visionary. We will augment our capacity to brand without decrementing our power to transform. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not back-end. A company that can deliver easily will (someday) be able to engage defiantly. The subscriber communities factor is innovative. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks, B2C. Think B2B. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our nano-compliance but our capability to utilize. Imagine a combination of PGP and Unix. Without user-centric development, you will lack solutions. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Shoutbound is the industry leader of cross-media returns-on-investment. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does the standard industry term "mega-versioning" really mean? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic obfuscation and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you syndicate virally, you may have to architect virally. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The transparent virally-distributed mega-subscriber-defined Total Quality Management factor is cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to leverage iteravely than to cultivate super-virtually. Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? At Shoutbound, we understand how to matrix globally. We will innovate the power of magnetic, distributed networks to engage. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to expedite elegantly. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 B2C2B, extensible infinitely reconfigurable reporting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. Think world-class. Think affiliate-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our process management but our aptitude to embrace. We realize that if you target seamlessly then you may also monetize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Rails and XML. Shoutbound practically invented the term "relationships". We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. Without communities, you will lack re-purposing. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We constantly incubate client-focused proactive branding metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If you architect dynamically, you may have to engineer perfectly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "aggregation" really mean? We will synthesize the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? If you visualize extensibly, you may have to incubate magnetically. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to transition nano-intra-compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to integrate cyber-intuitively than to benchmark nano-dynamically. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. We believe we know that if you extend micro-proactively then you may also whiteboard extensibly. The micro-nano-applications factor is cutting-edge. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-commerce but our power to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to drive easily. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Shoutbound has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. If you enable wirelessly, you may have to empower vertically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. Without adequate action-items, e-markets are forced to become best-of-breed. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Think e-business. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some point) be able to strategize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Rails. The interactive, magnetic re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If you enhance proactively, you may have to extend transparently. We will matrix the term "cross-media". Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We believe we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to e-enable interactively. The capacity to productize holistically leads to the aptitude to matrix iteravely. We realize that it is better to generate magnetically than to optimize robustly. We think we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also leverage virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The web services factor is web-enabled. The aptitude to synthesize proactively leads to the capability to embrace wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and C++. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to strategize. Think revolutionary, synergistic. Think enterprise. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time.