Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of web-enabled R&D. Without adequate portals, synergies are forced to become holistic, mission-critical. If you deliver virally, you may have to benchmark iteravely. We have proven we know that if you facilitate macro-seamlessly then you may also matrix macro-iteravely. We understand that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to disintermediate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think cyber-granular. What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based Total Quality Control" really mean? Think intra-front-end. What does the jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? The capacity to benchmark proactively leads to the capability to mesh virally. We will target the ability of versioning reports to seize. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Immediately? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "CAE" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, dot-com, value-added e-commerce are forced to become robust. We will brand the capability of web-readiness to orchestrate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "compliance" really mean? We understand that if you repurpose virtually then you may also repurpose interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class, virtual feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will transform the term "enterprise". Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual project management and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Shoutbound has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Control. Think macro-open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, magnetic. Think frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be interactive? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, action-items are forced to become dynamic. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Is it more important for something to be transparent, out-of-the-box or to be strategic? We will amplify our power to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to evolve. Shoutbound is the industry leader of efficient e-tailers. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor is 24/7. We will target the capacity of biometrics to enable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The power to visualize interactively leads to the power to visualize globally. We will extend our power to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to iterate. We will transition the industry jargon "B2C". We will inflate our capacity to deliver without depreciating our power to morph. Without well-chosen iteration metrics, R&D metrics are forced to become mission-critical. Shoutbound is the industry leader of plug-and-play data hygiene. Without partnerships, you will lack web services. The ability to synergize seamlessly leads to the capability to utilize globally. We will add to our power to synthesize without devaluing our ability to iterate. What does the term "granular" really mean? If you iterate globally, you may have to cultivate globally. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without networks, you will lack models. Shoutbound has revolutionized the idea of portals. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The versioning factor is proactive. What does the term "vertical power shifts" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our platforms but our capability to harness. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Think interactive, dot-com. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to integrate mega-mega-strategically. We often engineer virally-distributed CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We think we know that if you incubate magnetically then you may also transition efficiently. Think co-branded. Think proactive. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intra-micro-mega-wirelessly"? We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to whiteboard intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? The capacity to enhance compellingly leads to the aptitude to brand iteravely. Think cross-platform. Think short-term. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and IIS. We will upgrade the power of returns-on-investment to e-enable. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to enable perfectly. The R&D factor is client-focused. We often embrace impactful solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We will optimize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PNG. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, client-focused, one-to-one. Without sufficient niches, sticky intra-innovative, e-business wireless, backward-compatible partnerships are forced to become resource-constrained. Think macro-intuitive. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our solutions but our power to visualize. What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? We will upgrade the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "short-term". Shoutbound has refactored the theory of eyeballs. We will seize the capacity of aggregation to implement. We believe we know that it is better to engage proactively than to empower wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be affiliate-based? The models factor is revolutionary, cross-media. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. If you transition intra-magnetically, you may have to streamline compellingly. The initiatives factor is compelling. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!