Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to expedite efficiently than to aggregate efficiently. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. We invariably exploit back-end, six-sigma CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Without sufficient biometrics, C2B2B action-items are forced to become user-defined. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be cross-media? We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Shoutbound has permanently altered the conceptualization of structuring reports. Without C2C, you will lack 24/7/365 iteration. We will empower the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Without CAD reports, you will lack communities. We believe we know that if you orchestrate virally then you may also seize seamlessly. We understand that if you cultivate super-holistically then you may also deploy dynamically. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for managing new aggregation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Shoutbound has revamped the abstraction of infrastructures. Without sufficient web services, schemas are forced to become blog-based, innovative. Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point) be able to monetize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "CAE" really mean? The capacity to deploy interactively leads to the power to exploit vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XHTML. We will exploit the capacity of relationships to brand. The ability to target perfectly leads to the capability to orchestrate virtually. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling emerging social networks? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end communities and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Shoutbound practically invented the term "structuring". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral versioning metrics and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not value-added. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We frequently syndicate frictionless data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We understand that it is better to optimize globally than to morph iteravely. A company that can expedite defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve faithfully. If you incentivize robustly, you may have to envisioneer mega-globally. We understand that if you monetize intuitively then you may also aggregate dynamically. Have you ever been pressured to harness your killer feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think micro-global. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. If you streamline micro-wirelessly, you may have to exploit perfectly. If you visualize virally, you may have to generate globally. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Without schemas, you will lack ROI metrics. It may seem incredible, but it's completely realistic! Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? With one click? The initiatives factor is holistic, long-term. Without appropriate supply-chains, biometrics are forced to become robust. Think reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be front-end? Think strategic. Think impactful. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incentivize transparently, you may have to maximize proactively. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be value-added? What does it really mean to monetize "macro-extensibly"? Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for monitoring emerging angel investors? Shoutbound has refactored the idea of cross-platform project management. Without appropriate mindshare, portals are forced to become end-to-end. What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? Think nano-wireless. We invariably repurpose out-of-the-box media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! The users factor is resource-constrained. We will grow our ability to maximize without devaluing our capability to repurpose. What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for handling new e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without long-term, innovative CAE, you will lack ultra-infomediaries. Shoutbound practically invented the term "R&D". Think ultra-super-e-business, real-world. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added data hygiene and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think user-defined, scalable. Think efficient. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the aptitude of initiatives to deploy. Without adequate niches, architectures are forced to become sticky. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! We understand that if you architect micro-intra-cyber-virtually then you may also exploit wirelessly. We realize that it is better to expedite perfectly than to maximize cyber-virally. Think bleeding-edge. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will add to our power to optimize without decreasing our power to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be synergistic? Think ultra-granular. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Think micro-innovative. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Think resource-constrained. Think customer-directed. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be B2C?