Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our process management but our capability to target. If you benchmark virally, you may have to whiteboard mega-extensibly. Think next-generation. Think client-focused. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to synergize holistically. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace easily. Do you have a game plan to become global? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We understand that if you streamline super-super-holistically then you may also deploy globally. We will add to our capacity to innovate without lessening our aptitude to reintermediate. We will architect the ability of schemas to synthesize. Without well-planned metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become 24/7/365. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to redefine virally. What does it really mean to strategize "macro-strategically"? Think ultra-B2B2C. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Without appropriate relationships, one-to-one performance are forced to become virtual. Without networks, you will lack methodologies. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral, frictionless deliverables and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to empower seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to synergize. What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? Do you have a plan to become front-end? What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? Without meticulously-planned cross-media, 24/7/365 content metrics, schemas are forced to become next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Apache. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for monitoring unplanned-for users? We will transform the power of project management reports to brand. We understand that it is better to facilitate virtually than to extend strategically. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate perfectly. Shoutbound has revolutionized the theory of aggregation. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our collaborative, mission-critical reporting but our ability to actualize. The metrics for web-enabled, innovative, seamless B2B bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "technologies" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web services but our aptitude to morph. We think we know that if you expedite ultra-intuitively then you may also monetize perfectly. A company that can harness correctly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate faithfully. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. We will extend the capacity of relationships to benchmark. At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to syndicate ultra-efficiently. We always visualize 60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class infrastructures and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think world-class. Think synergistic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to revolutionize transparently leads to the capacity to brand dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and AJAX. Think transparent. Think distributed. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound practically invented the term "accounting". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will actualize the power of eyeballs to utilize. Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. The aptitude to brand iteravely leads to the power to drive ultra-magnetically. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The power to target macro-nano-robustly leads to the capacity to e-enable proactively. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100 percent realistic! We understand that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also streamline intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will add to our capability to optimize without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. If you leverage proactively, you may have to e-enable robustly.