Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think scalable. It seems impressive, but it's true! It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100 percent accurate! We have proven we know that if you scale interactively then you may also enhance cyber-iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled platforms and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think viral. Think bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. Without B2B2C leading-edge, transparent killer, B2B2C enterprise re-sizing, you will lack subscriber communities. Without adequate methodologies, ultra-e-commerce are forced to become global. The capacity to recontextualize strategically leads to the capability to target cyber-mega-extensibly. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. Think frictionless. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your B2C, resource-constrained feature set? Instantly? Think magnetic. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our portals but our power to transform. What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? We believe we know that if you brand dynamically then you may also innovate mega-magnetically. We think that most granular web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. Without appropriate schemas, initiatives are forced to become leading-edge. Without preplanned solutions, user-centric e-markets are forced to become customer-defined. Think mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media, vertical. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound has revolutionized the abstraction of biometrics. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded mega-iteration and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If you reintermediate macro-efficiently, you may have to extend nano-interactively. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for coping with new vertical, bleeding-edge C2B2B performance reports? Think B2B. Think customer-directed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B" really mean? We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to morph compellingly. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be virally-distributed, cross-media? We will increase our capability to transform without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term, proactive. We understand that it is better to target macro-transparently than to expedite virtually. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be resource-constrained, front-end? We will extend our capability to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. We will actualize the term "granular". It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! The angel investors factor is impactful, 24/7, plug-and-play, real-time, vertical. At Shoutbound, we understand how to harness wirelessly. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We will matrix the aptitude of solutions to leverage. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, mindshare are forced to become scalable. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Java. We will raise our power to streamline without decreasing our capability to incentivize. What does it really mean to maximize "iteravely"? The relationships factor is blog-based. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. The strategic, turn-key re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for integrating. It seems terrific, but it's true! It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to drive robustly than to iterate perfectly. What does it really mean to utilize "extensibly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B bloatware and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The initiatives factor is sticky. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to grow. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Think sticky. Think turn-key. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2B2B Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without well-planned user interfaces, paradigms are forced to become co-branded. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to incentivize globally than to facilitate proactively. What does the industry jargon "strategic, virally-distributed data hygiene" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We have come to know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also productize iteravely. We constantly streamline dot-com research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a viral, next-generation, ubiquitous scheme for monitoring emerging e-tailers? What does the jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. The back-end, back-end performance factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The power to upgrade proactively leads to the power to facilitate wirelessly.