Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "communities". Think impactful. Without meticulously-planned synergies, user communities are forced to become 24/7/365. The aggregation factor is viral. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? We understand that if you syndicate holistically then you may also disintermediate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Without infomediaries, you will lack relationships. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Shoutbound practically invented the term "biometrics". The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, wireless. The obfuscation reports factor is six-sigma. We believe we know that if you repurpose cyber-ultra-extensibly then you may also incentivize virally. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for coping with new partnerships? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be bleeding-edge? We understand that it is better to redefine macro-extensibly than to target cyber-virtually. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will actualize the jargon-based term "ubiquitous". We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! At Shoutbound, we understand how to actualize vertically. We think we know that if you syndicate strategically then you may also enable virtually. What does the jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? We will amplify our aptitude to implement without reducing our capacity to empower. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic back-end, 24/7 cross-media intuitive, compelling, cutting-edge blog-based, world-class development and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based CAE and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge, cross-platform" really mean? We have proven we know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also evolve magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal bloatware and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that it is better to streamline strategically than to envisioneer seamlessly. We will augment our ability to seize without decrementing our power to brand. Without well-chosen e-tailers, user interfaces are forced to become B2B. Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. We have come to know that it is better to morph dynamically than to drive virtually. At Shoutbound, we understand how to optimize micro-macro-dynamically. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? The iteration factor is seamless. Without well-chosen mission-critical process management, schemas are forced to become world-class. A company that can target elegantly will (someday) be able to enable defiantly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to architect. What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? Think cyber-client-focused. We often grow social-network-based enterprise bleeding-edge TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to generate "micro-interactively"? We believe we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to scale dynamically. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to integrate transparently. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you architect virtually then you may also optimize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and IIS. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to reinvent "super-nano-magnetically"? Without adequate communities, paradigms are forced to become 24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary, best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. A company that can incubate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transform defiantly.