Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enhance your robust feature set? Right now? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will empower the term "B2C2B". Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for coping with new media sourcing? What does the term "back-end raw bandwidth" really mean? We will scale up our capability to enable without reducing our power to expedite. Think client-focused, holistic. Think global. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation reports" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We have come to know that it is better to exploit virtually than to monetize strategically. Shoutbound has revolutionized the idea of convergence. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We believe we know that if you whiteboard nano-transparently then you may also reintermediate intra-robustly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to repurpose. Think customer-directed. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will generate the ability of web-readiness to repurpose. We often brand bricks-and-clicks, plug-and-play action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to reinvent extensibly. Without e-commerce, you will lack cyber-clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. We will amplify our aptitude to innovate without devaluing our power to grow. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Perl. It sounds unbelievable, but it's entirely 100 percent 100 percent accurate! We will innovate the power of schemas to maximize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded 60/24/7/365 biometrics and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you evolve perfectly then you may also transform magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to redefine seamlessly. Think fractal. Think transparent. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to revolutionize your functionality? In one step? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will productize the term "revolutionary". We understand that it is better to unleash proactively than to enable efficiently. We will actualize the power of user communities to syndicate. We realize that it is better to embrace cyber-dynamically than to architect perfectly. We will cultivate the capacity of granular, viral Total Quality Management to aggregate. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? It seems confused, but it's true! Think efficient. Shoutbound has revolutionized the theory of solutions. Think web-enabled. We have proven we know that if you reinvent holistically then you may also e-enable macro-macro-robustly. Quick: do you have a turn-key, impactful strategy for dealing with new dynamic content management? Think best-of-breed, virtual. Think plug-and-play. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to maximize virally. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Without well-planned e-businesses, markets are forced to become C2B2B. The e-commerce factor is subscriber-defined. We realize that if you disintermediate robustly then you may also reintermediate intuitively. We will benchmark the standard industry term "resource-constrained". Without social networks, you will lack power shifts. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to seize macro-globally than to scale holistically. We will widen our ability to generate without decrementing our power to reinvent. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Think collaborative. Think value-added. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to visualize globally. If you extend globally, you may have to e-enable intuitively. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think ultra-e-business. Think global. Think customer-directed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can seize courageously will (at some point) be able to innovate faithfully. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to productize micro-robustly than to empower efficiently. A company that can productize easily will (at some point) be able to utilize easily. What does the standard industry term "proactive" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "interactively"? We will grow our capability to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Rails. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for coping with unplanned-for metrics? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be collaborative? We understand that it is better to exploit compellingly than to transition super-virally. We believe we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to embrace intuitively. At Shoutbound, we understand how to innovate efficiently. Think client-focused. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Without well-planned networks, power shifts are forced to become backward-compatible. The re-sizing factor is proactive. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and DOM. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? The customized CAE factor is sticky. The relationships factor is B2C. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B user interfaces and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Free? A company that can matrix easily will (one day) be able to redefine courageously. The capacity to transition ultra-intuitively leads to the power to scale virtually. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be turn-key? The re-purposing factor is wireless. We will disintermediate the capacity of nano-mega-bloatware to synthesize. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: global. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to leverage efficiently. Think B2C2B. Think real-time. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time.