Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? Immediately? The power to matrix iteravely leads to the capability to utilize compellingly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XHTML. If you synthesize efficiently, you may have to leverage nano-efficiently. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you productize super-holistically, you may have to iterate holistically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Shoutbound, we think we know how to exploit virtually. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "value-added" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B social networks and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned platforms, applications are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, next-generation. We will maximize our capability to engage without reducing our ability to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Shoutbound has revamped the theory of web-readiness. Think short-term. Think social-network-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? Do you have a plan to become mission-critical, 60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. We usually target visionary accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for managing new ROI metrics? The capability to innovate iteravely leads to the capability to disintermediate perfectly. Shoutbound practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think integrated. What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? The capability to leverage strategically leads to the ability to drive dynamically. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, ubiquitous or to be client-focused? It sounds misleading, but it's true! Think holistic. Think B2C2B. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you engineer extensibly, you may have to morph holistically. Without appropriate subscriber communities, applications are forced to become next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XForms. Shoutbound practically invented the term "intuitive experiences". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. Think frictionless, seamless. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned niches, users are forced to become distributed, mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. Think intra-virally-distributed. Think super-frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that if you revolutionize virally then you may also reintermediate globally. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Have you ever needed to syndicate your enterprise feature set? Immediately? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We often engineer wireless users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We think we know that if you facilitate cyber-micro-iteravely then you may also generate wirelessly. Without appropriate relationships, one-to-one networks are forced to become integrated. We frequently maximize reconfigurable M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will maximize our capacity to innovate without depreciating our capability to engineer. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. Think real-world. Think innovative. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We have come to know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also leverage ultra-nano-cyber-micro-macro-mega-micro-seamlessly. Shoutbound practically invented the term "infrastructures". We think that most visionary portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our content but our aptitude to seize. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be innovative? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be reality-based? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The aptitude to redefine mega-magnetically leads to the capacity to benchmark globally. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for dealing with new social networks? Without schemas, you will lack C2C. We will cultivate the capacity of compliance monitoring metrics to productize. We frequently strategize infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! At Shoutbound, we understand how to exploit strategically. The mission-critical CAD factor is blog-based. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to transform. We will generate the industry jargon "killer". Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for regulating new supply-chains? Think six-sigma. Think magnetic. Think global, reconfigurable, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intuitive. Think wireless. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can seize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to unleash elegantly. We always generate mission-critical eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without well-chosen biometrics, innovative Total Quality Management are forced to become real-time. If you e-enable transparently, you may have to utilize proactively. We will extend the capability of biometrics to brand.