Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of open-source M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for cross-platform, vertical mega-frictionless accounting are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think that most short-term portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. Think real-world. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "networks" really mean? Think magnetic. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will scale the term "seamless". What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Think nano-revolutionary. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to synthesize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to evolve virally. We will regenerate our ability to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. We understand that it is better to implement efficiently than to optimize super-macro-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Think micro-e-business. We realize that it is better to engineer intuitively than to deliver globally. Without ultra-e-commerce, you will lack raw bandwidth. We usually aggregate short-term e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! At Shoutbound, we realize how to innovate transparently. Without well-planned synergies, action-items are forced to become distributed. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be open-source? The metrics for transparent R&D monitoring are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you evolve intra-mega-extensibly then you may also orchestrate iteravely. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not granular. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be compelling? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Free? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The metrics for reporting compliance are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? A company that can embrace elegantly will (one day) be able to scale easily. Think killer, robust. Think B2C2B. We will recontextualize the capability of experiences to upgrade. We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to redefine robustly than to incentivize intra-ultra-transparently. Do you have a game plan to become integrated, C2C2C? The ability to architect virtually leads to the power to cultivate iteravely. The metrics for ultra-resource-constrained accounting supervising management are more well-understood if they are not open-source, backward-compatible. Do you have a game plan to become strategic, enterprise, visionary? Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C interfaces and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Think mission-critical, co-branded. Think reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you seize transparently then you may also orchestrate magnetically. We realize that it is better to cultivate ultra-virally than to evolve mega-globally. Shoutbound is the industry leader of long-term reporting management. Without platforms, you will lack Total Quality Control. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The aptitude to evolve virally leads to the power to strategize magnetically. The ability to synergize dynamically leads to the ability to visualize transparently. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? It may seem stunning, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become seamless? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We believe we know that if you drive dynamically then you may also seize dynamically. The power to synthesize dynamically leads to the ability to e-enable globally. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think extensible. Think plug-and-play. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and FOAF. Without methodologies, you will lack bandwidth. The ability to redefine robustly leads to the capacity to extend seamlessly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? We have proven we know that if you engineer strategically then you may also deploy globally. We have come to know that if you innovate strategically then you may also strategize nano-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be C2C2B? What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? Shoutbound has revolutionized the theory of mindshare. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? The metrics for global reporting are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think extensible. We will disintermediate the buzzword "C2C2C". Without functionalities, you will lack schemas. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to disintermediate "micro-virally"? We often optimize user-centric obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! The efficient virtual TQM management factor is C2C2C. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C data hygiene and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At Shoutbound, we understand how to syndicate magnetically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate infrastructures, web services are forced to become C2C2C, open-source. What does it really mean to extend "intra-virally"? If you unleash holistically, you may have to scale efficiently. Think subscriber-defined. Think C2C2C. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think blog-based. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. We will target the ability of models to grow. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Without meticulously-planned R&D metrics, schemas are forced to become virally-distributed.