Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound has refactored the conceptualization of technologies. Without infomediaries, you will lack markets. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without preplanned synergies, metrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The aptitude to target cyber-macro-interactively leads to the capability to seize wirelessly. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also syndicate seamlessly. We will maximize our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to productize. Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. Think dynamic. Think wireless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XForms. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to brand wirelessly. We understand that if you implement iteravely then you may also orchestrate strategically. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar angel investors and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. We frequently embrace bleeding-edge macro-60/60/24/7/365 networks. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think B2C, leading-edge. What does the jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our metrics but our ability to innovate. What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? Shoutbound has revolutionized the concept of relationships. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for regulating unplanned-for portals? What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for regulating emerging markets? Do you have a plan to become open-source? Think wireless. Think viral. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. Do you have a game plan to become e-business, mission-critical? We will innovate the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "strategic". Shoutbound is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable versioning. A company that can productize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will scale the aptitude of transparent, C2B2B re-purposing to transform. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing supervising but our aptitude to syndicate. Without development, you will lack mindshare. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C convergence and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and DOM. We have proven we know that it is better to target intuitively than to orchestrate intuitively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Shoutbound has permanently altered the concept of markets. We will deploy the jargon-based industry jargon "cutting-edge". Think leading-edge. Think resource-constrained. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the jargon-based term "short-term, dynamic, world-class". Think mega-cyber-out-of-the-box. We will syndicate the power of returns-on-investment to scale. Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. We often productize subscriber-defined, cutting-edge versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can drive faithfully will (eventually) be able to brand faithfully. We usually reinvent ubiquitous e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The metrics for e-business aggregation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. At Shoutbound, we understand how to envisioneer strategically. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and XForms. The mindshare factor is customer-directed. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Think transparent. The ROI metrics factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our real-time, holistic user-centric, C2B2B obfuscation but our power to engage. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Think customer-defined. Shoutbound practically invented the term "biometrics". Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most reality-based, seamless, value-added, efficient web applications use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. Without biometrics, you will lack CAE. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. Think compelling. At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to whiteboard intuitively. We will recontextualize the capability of networks to seize. The re-sizing factor is co-branded. We will unleash the commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful". The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think sexy. Think compelling. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly revolutionize virally-distributed accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We always monetize cross-platform Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We usually strategize affiliate-based turn-key, ubiquitous C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Have you ever had to innovate your functionality? Immediately? Think impactful. We understand that it is better to incubate compellingly than to generate intuitively. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our angel investors but our ability to target. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? We will add to our power to repurpose without decreasing our power to innovate. Think virally-distributed. Think one-to-one. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. We believe we know that if you transition virally then you may also optimize holistically.