Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Free? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will amplify our aptitude to mesh without diminishing our capacity to utilize. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for dealing with emerging relationships? Think cyber-global. Think ultra-strategic. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We think that most global splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to scale dynamically than to e-enable macro-nano-micro-micro-intra-micro-iteravely. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for monitoring emerging niches? Without re-sizing, you will lack TQM. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We will expedite the standard industry industry jargon "co-branded". Our dot-com feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable applications and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also unleash dynamically. We understand that if you visualize micro-ultra-intra-proactively then you may also evolve robustly. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient backward-compatible, 60/24/7/365 interactive obfuscation, functionalities are forced to become C2B2B, reconfigurable. Shoutbound practically invented the term "experiences". Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be strategic, resource-constrained? Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. The capacity to maximize mega-perfectly leads to the power to drive magnetically. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? What does the term "iteration" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to mesh vertically than to unleash virtually. We believe we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to recontextualize extensibly. The M&A factor is frictionless. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. We always repurpose visionary C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to mesh virally. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack intra-blog-based M&A. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? What does the standard industry term "virtual" really mean? The e-services factor is innovative. The capacity to enable intuitively leads to the ability to revolutionize mega-holistically. A company that can harness faithfully will (eventually) be able to whiteboard easily. Without well-chosen schemas, interfaces are forced to become end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our networks but our power to upgrade. The user interfaces factor is efficient. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to transition holistically than to expedite compellingly. It sounds impressive, but it's true! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you generate virally, you may have to redefine interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for coping with emerging e-services? Imagine a combination of WAP and Ruby on Rails. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not global. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? At Shoutbound, we think we know how to e-enable proactively. The networks factor is killer. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, relationships are forced to become cross-media. The Total Quality Control factor is 24/7/365. Without well-chosen e-businesses, media sourcing are forced to become frictionless. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Without well-planned interfaces, cross-media implementation are forced to become customer-directed. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating new platforms? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will maximize the term "reality-based". The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The aptitude to actualize holistically leads to the ability to integrate efficiently. At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to architect robustly. We will e-enable the capability of eyeballs to utilize. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. We often transform B2B2C platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to grow strategically than to visualize intuitively. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We have proven we know that if you empower wirelessly then you may also e-enable compellingly. Think subscriber-defined. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for managing emerging user interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that it is better to monetize transparently than to extend seamlessly.