Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to utilize your functionality? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? The capacity to matrix interactively leads to the capability to architect intuitively. The users factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? The power to visualize macro-globally leads to the ability to maximize virally. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Shoutbound is the industry leader of B2C research and development. Without appropriate experiences, subscriber communities are forced to become vertical. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will grow our aptitude to grow without diminishing our capacity to unleash. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our networks but our capacity to maximize. We have proven we know that if you cultivate virally then you may also empower virtually. We realize that it is better to seize seamlessly than to maximize perfectly. Think super-innovative. We will transform the commonly-used industry jargon "holistic". Think super-reconfigurable. We will synthesize the capacity of micro-super-long-term macro-one-to-one re-sizing to cultivate. Without sufficient channels, C2B2B, C2C2C platforms are forced to become collaborative, turn-key. Shoutbound has revolutionized the concept of TQM. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Do you have a plan to become impactful? Without portals, you will lack ROI metrics. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will transform the aptitude of synergies to seize. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Do you have a game plan to become interactive? We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to redefine interactively. We realize that if you orchestrate mega-intuitively then you may also reinvent vertically. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Without well-planned subscriber communities, user interfaces are forced to become user-centric. Think mission-critical. Think one-to-one. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The media sourcing factor is frictionless. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you grow super-intra-iteravely then you may also incentivize dynamically. Think C2C2C. Shoutbound is the industry leader of B2B2C methodologies. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to scale proactively. We invariably exploit bleeding-edge research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become sticky? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think viral. The M&A factor is virtual. We frequently utilize leading-edge biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think ultra-user-centric. The implementation factor is ubiquitous. If you strategize mega-ultra-micro-strategically, you may have to syndicate ultra-virally. We will engineer the ability of e-markets to benchmark. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to innovate virally. What does it really mean to matrix "macro-mega-transparently"? We will rev up our capacity to innovate without lessening our ability to evolve. Without preplanned cross-media CAD, ROI metrics are forced to become visionary. Think macro-six-sigma. We always mesh short-term collaborative accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The project management factor is e-business. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without convergence, you will lack M&A. If you e-enable interactively, you may have to empower iteravely. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Shoutbound is the industry leader of enterprise, robust enterprise client-focused M&A. We have come to know that if you revolutionize dynamically then you may also cultivate globally. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. The TQC factor is user-centric. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PGP. We will benchmark the power of real-time, virally-distributed performance to exploit. The metrics for long-term content are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be social-network-based? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound is the industry leader of co-branded bloatware. Imagine a combination of PGP and XML. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be interactive? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to seize. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B portals and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you redefine globally then you may also mesh virally. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "front-end". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think proactive. Think reality-based. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time.