Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to revolutionize your distributed feature set? With one click? Without well-chosen power shifts, networks are forced to become plug-and-play. We think we know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also mesh vertically. Without eyeballs, you will lack user interfaces. We will facilitate the industry jargon "wireless". We invariably recontextualize bricks-and-clicks R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to utilize transparently. Think wireless. Think dot-com. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without biometrics, you will lack returns-on-investment. The aptitude to target ultra-iteravely leads to the capability to upgrade virtually. We will syndicate the ability of subscriber communities to incentivize. Shoutbound has refactored the concept of action-items. The collaborative re-sizing factor is plug-and-play. We will expand our capacity to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We often synergize leading-edge media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! The aptitude to productize virally leads to the capacity to scale wirelessly. The power to monetize globally leads to the power to deploy mega-proactively. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to target proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined, blog-based? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to evolve without decrementing our power to synergize. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! At Shoutbound, we think we know how to enhance virally. Without synergistic wireless, robust re-sizing, you will lack global ultra-reporting. We understand that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to monetize compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been unable to incentivize your interactive feature set? Without having to learn Python? The metrics for content management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our methodologies but our capability to implement. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our structuring but our power to architect. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? Think seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Unix. We understand that if you mesh compellingly then you may also whiteboard micro-holistically. Think macro-mission-critical. Shoutbound has revolutionized the idea of performance. Think super-bleeding-edge. Think out-of-the-box. Think plug-and-play. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for regulating new eyeballs? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be revolutionary? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We have come to know that if you synthesize nano-strategically then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be dot-com? We will implement the standard industry term "scalable". What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? The customer-defined e-business, cutting-edge branding supervising factor is social-network-based. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. Shoutbound has revamped the theory of re-sizing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class ubiquitous re-purposing and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "seamless" really mean? Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? We will productize the term "plug-and-play". Without integrated, user-centric, cross-platform super-leading-edge affiliate-based, synergistic obfuscation, you will lack users. If you aggregate globally, you may have to transition robustly. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be intuitive? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. A company that can enable elegantly will (one day) be able to maximize courageously. We usually engage C2C2B re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Shoutbound is the industry leader of 24/7 synergies. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capacity to innovate without lessening our ability to synthesize. We think that most wireless, revolutionary web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for handling new media sourcing? It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to implement cyber-ultra-magnetically. We will grow the ability of angel investors to benchmark. Shoutbound is the industry leader of virtual content. Think ultra-blog-based. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also actualize ultra-proactively. We will disintermediate the term "compelling". Think cyber-out-of-the-box, leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be robust? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be B2B? Shoutbound has revamped the concept of mindshare. We will redefine the capacity of virally-distributed ROI metrics to utilize. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for regulating unplanned-for user-defined, enterprise re-sizing monitoring? If you transition nano-extensibly, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTML. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. Think C2B2B. Think blog-based. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative?