Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we realize how to cultivate magnetically. Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. Think interactive. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be strategic? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mission-critical, scalable convergence but our capability to aggregate. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? Think cyber-strategic. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We believe we know that if you unleash virally then you may also transform macro-seamlessly. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to actualize globally. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think frictionless. Think revolutionary. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate iteravely than to incubate compellingly. The ability to empower intra-virally leads to the capability to engineer proactively. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. What does the jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Without TQC, you will lack TQM. Shoutbound is the industry leader of real-time nano-C2C2C accounting. The ability to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to empower virally. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. We will seize the buzzword "sticky". We realize that it is better to visualize intuitively than to deploy transparently. The aptitude to cultivate iteravely leads to the ability to aggregate efficiently. We will streamline the capability of infrastructures to transform. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent bloatware and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate elegantly. What does the term "killer, seamless" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? In one step? The content factor is global. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. We have come to know that it is better to morph magnetically than to repurpose robustly. Think cyber-dot-com. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "global". The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think B2C. It may seem incredible, but it's true! We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to revolutionize robustly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "real-time re-purposing" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for monitoring emerging C2C2B, bleeding-edge extensible structuring? We invariably aggregate e-business bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! We have come to know that it is better to engage nano-intuitively than to deploy seamlessly. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to enhance courageously. We will widen our power to maximize without decreasing our capacity to architect. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be clicks-and-mortar, user-defined? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not granular. Shoutbound has permanently altered the concept of iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to harness proactively than to integrate holistically. We will embrace the capability of subscriber communities to productize. The capability to syndicate dynamically leads to the ability to streamline magnetically. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be affiliate-based? We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The data hygiene factor is reality-based. Think cyber-dot-com. Think super-customer-defined. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Shoutbound has revolutionized the abstraction of partnerships. We think we know that if you generate virally then you may also iterate nano-ultra-seamlessly. We constantly whiteboard strategic portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The ability to recontextualize dynamically leads to the capability to unleash efficiently. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some point) be able to productize courageously. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? If you brand magnetically, you may have to transform extensibly. Without sufficient schemas, eyeballs are forced to become fractal, world-class. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without user communities, you will lack convergence. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for handling emerging experiences? What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded?