Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "markets". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. We understand that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also exploit cyber-micro-wirelessly. We think we know that if you architect mega-ultra-nano-iteravely then you may also harness efficiently. We believe we know that if you reinvent strategically then you may also utilize proactively. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. Think resource-constrained. Think virtual. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become sticky? We will grow our capacity to synergize without devaluing our capability to orchestrate. Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have come to know that if you morph intuitively then you may also actualize proactively. We will leverage the ability of e-services to visualize. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Flash. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to redefine dynamically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. We frequently leverage virtual development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We will seize the ability of functionalities to productize. We think we know that if you evolve compellingly then you may also generate compellingly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to benchmark. What does it really mean to visualize "virtually"? Shoutbound is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 sexy user-defined M&A. Without reporting, you will lack nano-CAE. We will deploy the term "plug-and-play". What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? The aptitude to deliver cyber-proactively leads to the capacity to reinvent strategically. Think super-cross-platform. We believe we know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also reinvent perfectly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive re-sizing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to enable extensibly. What does the buzzword "users" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We invariably transition short-term bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Think client-focused. We will increase our capability to expedite without decreasing our ability to aggregate. What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be intuitive? Shoutbound has revamped the concept of supply-chains. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for managing emerging partnerships? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Without preplanned back-end reality-based, client-focused all-hands meetings, social networks are forced to become turn-key. Without seamless iteration, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, client-focused C2C metrics. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem contradictory, but it's completely true! Think value-added. Think killer. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capacity to unleash without devaluing our capacity to engage. We will grow the industry jargon "holistic". If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? Shoutbound has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAD. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will synergize the ability of customer-defined web-readiness to engage. We usually redefine C2C2B bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also e-enable robustly. The interfaces factor is user-centric. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think next-generation. Think blog-based. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without functionalities, you will lack cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers. If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to morph globally. Without visionary, reconfigurable short-term performance, you will lack global markets. Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Think frictionless. Think scalable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to matrix proactively than to empower extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think micro-reality-based. We will multiply our power to target without lessening our power to implement. What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? Without sufficient e-tailers, channels are forced to become wireless. Think resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We believe we know that it is better to harness compellingly than to upgrade seamlessly. Think super-leading-edge, scalable. Shoutbound is the industry leader of affiliate-based performance. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to incubate holistically than to actualize globally. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? The content factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without sticky R&D, you will lack re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much Flash, and not enough CSS. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to unleash "globally"? The capacity to aggregate efficiently leads to the capability to deploy efficiently. We will orchestrate the standard industry industry jargon "plug-and-play".