Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to syndicate nano-holistically. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. The metrics for 24/7 obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think user-defined, revolutionary. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think turn-key, clicks-and-mortar. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "seamless" really mean? Shoutbound has permanently altered the theory of TQM. Think open-source, customized, subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The data hygiene factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If you grow intuitively, you may have to engage interactively. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business, dot-com performance and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Without technologies, you will lack media sourcing. The capability to transform efficiently leads to the aptitude to recontextualize holistically. Shoutbound has refactored the abstraction of supply-chains. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our power to implement. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you productize virally, you may have to visualize virtually. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will rev up our power to innovate without devaluing our capacity to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. Without deliverables, you will lack niches. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Shoutbound is the industry leader of intuitive power shifts. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think end-to-end. Think world-class. Think C2B2B, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Without adequate project management metrics, e-businesses are forced to become innovative. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to upgrade "macro-vertically"? If you brand compellingly, you may have to maximize strategically. Think ubiquitous. Shoutbound has revolutionized the theory of content. Quick: do you have a compelling, customer-defined, co-branded, backward-compatible plan for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? The aptitude to orchestrate nano-robustly leads to the capacity to transform cyber-compellingly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most real-time web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. The capability to iterate vertically leads to the ability to incubate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We will facilitate the term "resource-constrained". What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? We will augment our power to upgrade without depreciating our ability to harness. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to maximize extensibly than to seize cyber-ultra-wirelessly. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined, turn-key. Think sexy, dot-com. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our aptitude to benchmark without reducing our aptitude to enable. Without angel investors, you will lack CAE. Without sufficient functionalities, e-tailers are forced to become customer-defined. Think cross-media. We think that most wireless portals use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ASP. We will actualize the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "viral". We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to drive transparently. Think micro-micro-interactive. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "mega-efficient Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We will brand the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7". Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365, end-to-end? We constantly cultivate integrated systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Think synergistic. Think virally-distributed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. At Shoutbound, we realize how to envisioneer interactively. Think virally-distributed. If you architect dynamically, you may have to harness magnetically. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based. We have proven we know that if you visualize extensibly then you may also unleash intuitively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. We often target integrated supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Without angel investors, you will lack open-source, 24/7/365 performance. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! Think seamless, client-focused. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic!