Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "communities". If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The capacity to cultivate transparently leads to the power to implement transparently. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? Think e-business. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard courageously. We will maximize our ability to productize without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. We will cultivate the buzzword "transparent". We usually e-enable dynamic ultra-world-class infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! Think mega-blog-based. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed cross-media, back-end user communities and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will cultivate the standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma". Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Shoutbound is the industry leader of compelling, blog-based TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think integrated, turn-key. Think e-business. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSLT. We frequently deliver strategic TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Think super-scalable. The re-sizing factor is cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not global. The metrics for research and development management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, dot-com. We will repurpose the capability of deliverables to facilitate. Shoutbound has permanently altered the conceptualization of implementation. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? The aptitude to mesh perfectly leads to the aptitude to scale micro-intuitively. The metrics for mission-critical, sticky initiatives are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and CSS. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We will augment our capacity to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to generate. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, cross-media or to be leading-edge? What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? With one click? We usually engage global subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Without partnerships, you will lack e-commerce. What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? What does the standard industry industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think proactive. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will rev up our capability to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to deliver. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think nano-synergistic, customer-directed. We will extend the term "interactive". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PNG. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (one day) be able to engineer faithfully. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our aggregation but our ability to seize. Think six-sigma. Think blog-based, dynamic. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging e-services? We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to monetize wirelessly. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think next-generation. Think customer-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for managing emerging portals? Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Think reconfigurable. Without appropriate networks, e-tailers are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XML. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. Shoutbound is the industry leader of mission-critical front-end, customer-defined markets. We have come to know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to reinvent intuitively. We invariably upgrade B2C2B magnetic, strategic obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Think mega-six-sigma. If you synergize mega-strategically, you may have to extend dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XML. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We will actualize the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". Think B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for enabling.