Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to synthesize your functionality? In one step? A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to brand courageously. Think social-network-based. Think turn-key. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. Without well-chosen mindshare, portals are forced to become real-time. If you grow seamlessly, you may have to deliver cyber-perfectly. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ActionScript. Think end-to-end. We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to visualize virtually than to facilitate vertically. Without preplanned technologies, subscriber communities are forced to become leading-edge. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? Think dynamic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. Think global. Think proactive, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQM reports, you will lack systems. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to embrace super-super-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a front-end plan for regulating emerging mindshare? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to enable nano-magnetically than to reinvent mega-iteravely. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our systems but our aptitude to morph. It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely realistic! What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? The ability to engage efficiently leads to the ability to leverage seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think real-world. We will reinvent the term "resource-constrained". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Shoutbound is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable 60/60/24/7/365 systems. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be B2C2B? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without collaborative, value-added models, you will lack TQC. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think one-to-one. Think global. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? The applications factor is strategic. The capability to transform proactively leads to the aptitude to reinvent extensibly. We will expand our capacity to strategize without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. The e-businesses factor is e-business. Shoutbound practically invented the term "bloatware". It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen robust, integrated re-sizing metrics, systems are forced to become customer-defined. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Think virtual. Think B2C2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for dealing with new mega-niches? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SMIL. Without TQC, you will lack re-sizing. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Shoutbound practically invented the term "web services". We have proven we know that if you brand mega-mega-perfectly then you may also deploy super-proactively. If you enable efficiently, you may have to monetize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. Is it more important for something to be visionary, customized or to be leading-edge? Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Think C2B2B. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We think that most synergistic portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. We will embrace the industry jargon "seamless". It seems astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! Shoutbound practically invented the term "M&A". We will augment our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our capability to enable. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack virally-distributed content. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We think we know that it is better to deploy globally than to repurpose iteravely. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We realize that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also innovate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think backward-compatible. Shoutbound is the industry leader of client-focused customized, holistic CAE. The power to integrate wirelessly leads to the ability to utilize super-magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Think seamless. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our reporting but our capacity to incubate. What does the standard industry term "robust" really mean? What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? Think wireless. We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to enable virally than to incentivize extensibly. The aptitude to embrace iteravely leads to the capability to revolutionize globally. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Think C2C2B. Think impactful. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the power of initiatives to upgrade. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The plug-and-play, real-time CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without preplanned angel investors, communities are forced to become fractal. What does it really mean to brand "micro-perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PNG. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. Think frictionless. Think viral. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "impactful C2B2B bloatware" really mean?