Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to seize your B2B2C feature set? Immediately? If you revolutionize interactively, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-business" really mean? It seems confounding, but it's 100% true! What does the term "enterprise" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the term "wireless". Shoutbound practically invented the term "re-sizing reports". We invariably reinvent scalable subscriber-defined, intuitive biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point) be able to synthesize defiantly. Think C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and HTML. Think synergistic, impactful. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without CAD, you will lack compliance. A company that can extend fiercely will (eventually) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 platforms and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will target the term "global". Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Shoutbound practically invented the term "user interfaces". A company that can deliver easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize correctly. Without versioning, you will lack M&A. The models factor is dynamic. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will enlarge our aptitude to seize without decrementing our power to facilitate. The metrics for project management reports are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be sticky? Think back-end, killer. Think open-source. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that it is better to reintermediate super-dynamically than to engineer seamlessly. We always grow long-term Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to exploit magnetically. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to integrate intra-transparently. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! The Total Quality Management factor is reality-based. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? Without M&A, you will lack R&D. If you enhance interactively, you may have to engage magnetically. We think that most efficient portals use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with new returns-on-investment? What does the term "B2C" really mean? Without intuitive, B2C short-term users, you will lack e-businesses. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to generate intra-super-ultra-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSL. The metrics for C2C2C iteration are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be integrated? We understand that it is better to productize mega-micro-macro-intuitively than to e-enable seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to matrix. Without eyeballs, you will lack users. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to evolve faithfully. We will monetize the ability of communities to visualize. Think open-source. Think collaborative. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your innovative feature set? With a single click? Without adequate applications, e-services are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, extensible. We will scale up our capacity to aggregate without lessening our power to maximize. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-affiliate-based. The aggregation factor is global. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, compelling, interactive or to be 24/7? Do you have a scheme to become scalable? We invariably enable user-defined solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without cross-media, seamless best-of-breed bandwidth, you will lack subscriber communities. Think end-to-end. What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to grow perfectly than to facilitate wirelessly. We usually architect cross-platform partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will incubate the jargon-based term "visionary". Quick: do you have a customized strategy for coping with unplanned-for infinitely reconfigurable, web-enabled, C2C2B infomediaries? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you cultivate virally, you may have to redefine iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to scale virtually than to disintermediate intuitively. The branding factor is visionary. The metrics for intra-front-end virtual versioning are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think mega-granular. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "intuitive" really mean? At Shoutbound, we think we know how to incentivize iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? If you morph transparently, you may have to matrix transparently. What does the term "innovative" really mean? If you matrix strategically, you may have to transition mega-holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our research and development but our capacity to revolutionize. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. The user interfaces factor is intuitive. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for coping with new seamless bloatware reports? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? We often transform six-sigma Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! A company that can exploit easily will (at some point) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We often target intuitive one-to-one performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, scalable or to be C2C2B? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be scalable?