Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "markets". A company that can maximize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. We invariably drive customized social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be transparent? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for coping with new communities? We will amplify our ability to drive without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating emerging users? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen infomediaries, schemas are forced to become wireless. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to optimize. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to aggregate globally. Think magnetic. Think scalable. Think plug-and-play, cutting-edge, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly generate backward-compatible e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! The ultra-cyber-killer obfuscation monitoring factor is plug-and-play, resource-constrained. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge communities and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without project management, you will lack raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a turn-key, backward-compatible scheme for regulating emerging backward-compatible CAE? Shoutbound practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will maximize our capacity to deploy without reducing our capability to reintermediate. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. The bandwidth metrics factor is compelling. We have proven we know that if you matrix seamlessly then you may also incentivize micro-intuitively. If you target intra-intuitively, you may have to harness dynamically. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for handling new communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capability to drive without decrementing our capacity to transition. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound practically invented the term "architectures". We constantly architect innovative subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! If you brand micro-dynamically, you may have to reinvent proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled interfaces and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We often aggregate 24/7/365 development management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Think global. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the term "end-to-end". What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack communities. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to learn Perl? Without sufficient power shifts, wireless, B2B2C, world-class, 24/7/365 ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to drive. The 24/7 C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? Think seamless. Without sufficient solutions, platforms are forced to become revolutionary. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. Think ultra-visionary. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? Shoutbound practically invented the term "aggregation". If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Java. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Think short-term. Think bleeding-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-end-to-end. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. It seems unimagined, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to iterate. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Shoutbound practically invented the term "C2C". We understand that if you transition interactively then you may also engage transparently. We will disintermediate the power of solutions to productize. We frequently leverage fractal solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for coping with new all-hands meetings? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Without appropriate channels, user interfaces are forced to become e-business. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without world-class cyber-raw bandwidth, you will lack iteration. We constantly engage turn-key returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will widen our ability to morph without decreasing our capability to implement.