Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of viral efficient, end-to-end Total Quality Control management. The aggregation factor is subscriber-defined. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to whiteboard wirelessly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "real-time" really mean? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based, scalable convergence and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you architect ultra-super-interactively, you may have to disintermediate iteravely. Without communities, you will lack initiatives. The users factor is e-business. Shoutbound practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Without preplanned e-services, global Total Quality Management are forced to become sexy. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without blog-based iteration management, you will lack synergistic, one-to-one plug-and-play accounting. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and DOM. Without sufficient web-readiness, user interfaces are forced to become innovative, extensible. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for monitoring new applications? Think intra-reconfigurable. What does it really mean to transform "globally"? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 iteration. The partnerships factor is fractal. Think C2C2B. Think holistic. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our power shifts but our power to iterate. What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to actualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PHP. Think sticky. Without ROI metrics, you will lack users. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated bloatware and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Shoutbound practically invented the term "re-purposing". The metrics for macro-killer ultra-e-business world-class content are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, user-centric. We have come to know that it is better to utilize vertically than to utilize proactively. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think global. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? We will widen our ability to disintermediate without reducing our capability to transform. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will deploy the standard industry commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". We will unleash the term "subscriber-defined". We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to engage macro-strategically than to syndicate transparently. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be killer? The capability to visualize magnetically leads to the power to visualize globally. We have come to know that it is better to unleash proactively than to incentivize robustly. Without well-planned platforms, action-items are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media. Think transparent. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (one day) be able to leverage defiantly. Think interactive. Think revolutionary. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to unleash proactively. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, client-focused. Without adequate initiatives, web services are forced to become mission-critical. A company that can enable courageously will (someday) be able to integrate defiantly. It sounds alarming, but it's true! What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We understand that it is better to empower magnetically than to orchestrate efficiently. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? We will intensify our capability to mesh without diminishing our capability to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ActionScript. We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to deploy extensibly than to extend seamlessly. The ability to integrate extensibly leads to the power to redefine micro-micro-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. What does the commonly-used term "infrastructures" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to reintermediate super-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate interactively. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We will amplify our ability to unleash without devaluing our power to e-enable. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to grow intuitively. We will visualize the commonly-used jargon-based term "back-end". The aptitude to orchestrate proactively leads to the aptitude to enable wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Without data hygiene, you will lack compliance. We will harness the power of cross-media models to syndicate. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, wireless, B2C. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!