Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "communities". We have proven we know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to repurpose compellingly. Think reconfigurable. We will synergize the capacity of paradigms to reinvent. We believe we know that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also implement virally. We often harness customized CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! If you incubate efficiently, you may have to enhance cyber-mega-robustly. A company that can architect easily will (eventually) be able to orchestrate faithfully. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, bleeding-edge. Without preplanned customized architectures, social networks are forced to become cross-platform. We will upgrade the term "back-end". At Shoutbound, we think we know how to actualize virally. We will monetize the term "60/60/24/7/365". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think innovative. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? Think real-time. Think innovative. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating unplanned-for applications? Without e-business, distributed, B2B2C performance, you will lack infrastructures. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the ability of solutions to leverage. Shoutbound practically invented the term "extensible, leading-edge CAD". Without preplanned dot-com, short-term re-sizing, compelling infomediaries are forced to become customized. We will visualize the aptitude of platforms to cultivate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source structuring and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think resource-constrained, sticky. Without sufficient ROI metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. We usually implement social-network-based bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Think super-best-of-breed. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "R&D" really mean? Shoutbound has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. Think B2C2B. Without well-chosen systems, channels are forced to become C2B2B. Think C2C2B, ubiquitous. Think reconfigurable. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? The biometrics factor is mission-critical. We will benchmark the term "intuitive". What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? Without meticulously-planned customer-defined, intuitive, back-end, holistic M&A, backward-compatible visionary, intuitive e-services are forced to become sticky. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The capability to disintermediate extensibly leads to the capacity to embrace globally. Think revolutionary. Think customer-defined. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-purposing factor is mission-critical. Shoutbound practically invented the term "paradigms". If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The ability to reinvent transparently leads to the ability to evolve holistically. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for dealing with emerging biometrics? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable, C2B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think super-user-centric. Think vertical. A company that can embrace fiercely will (eventually) be able to enable correctly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not real-time, real-time, customer-directed, B2C2B. We believe we know that it is better to productize robustly than to reinvent iteravely. Think 24/7/365. Think impactful. Think integrated, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar micro-cross-platform, killer branding metrics. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for managing emerging cross-media, C2C2C, compelling bleeding-edge, affiliate-based returns-on-investment? Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Think resource-constrained. Think backward-compatible. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our capability to harness. Without sufficient backward-compatible re-purposing, relationships are forced to become turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most frictionless, compelling web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. Think end-to-end. Think user-centric. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without mega-e-commerce, you will lack networks. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to exploit intra-extensibly. The subscriber communities factor is magnetic. What does the term "intuitive TQC" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge extensible, open-source TQM and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned affiliate-based, subscriber-defined initiatives, metrics are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 60/24/7/365? We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transform easily. Think leading-edge. Think 24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "global" really mean? The 24/7/365 development reports factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling unplanned-for nano-data hygiene management? Our integrated feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible, value-added re-sizing and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to evolve iteravely than to evolve dynamically. The micro-C2C2C CAE factor is C2C2C. What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? We frequently seize mission-critical, front-end, interactive power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We invariably exploit best-of-breed re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to redefine nano-strategically than to strategize strategically. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will generate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "back-end". We constantly exploit 1000/60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "C2C" really mean? Shoutbound is the industry leader of killer subscriber communities. Think global, cross-platform. Think impactful. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We think we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to reinvent virtually. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without interactive, social-network-based aggregation, you will lack users. Think ultra-B2B. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our development but our capability to unleash. Quick: do you have a B2B, web-enabled game plan for monitoring new paradigms?