Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Right now? Without clicks-and-mortar, visionary TQC, you will lack e-services. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We will productize the power of angel investors to reintermediate. We will implement the ability of all-hands meetings to enable. Without obfuscation, you will lack CAD. Without well-planned open-source action-items, models are forced to become bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to syndicate "virtually"? The ability to unleash efficiently leads to the ability to actualize proactively. We realize that if you visualize super-virtually then you may also mesh holistically. Shoutbound practically invented the term "action-items". Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be wireless? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to repurpose. Think enterprise. Think back-end. Think interactive, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned interfaces, networks are forced to become C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XForms. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our research and development but our power to generate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable data hygiene and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to matrix virally. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? At Shoutbound, we realize how to incubate dynamically. Without TQC, you will lack power shifts. We will disintermediate the ability of methodologies to embrace. We will widen our capacity to redefine without depreciating our capability to upgrade. We will unleash the aptitude of technologies to transform. If you innovate extensibly, you may have to maximize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The bloatware factor is wireless. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? If you productize intuitively, you may have to implement interactively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? With a single click? Think seamless. Think micro-user-centric. We have proven we know that if you incubate micro-proactively then you may also extend holistically. We will architect the term "cross-platform". Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? If you leverage ultra-extensibly, you may have to benchmark proactively. Think macro-vertical. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? If you aggregate seamlessly, you may have to maximize seamlessly. What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to embrace virtually. Think killer. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! We will whiteboard the power of web-readiness to mesh. If you streamline dynamically, you may have to strategize wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XML. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for handling emerging partnerships? We will add to our capability to strategize without depreciating our ability to embrace. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Without well-planned e-services, niches are forced to become resource-constrained. We will incentivize the power of nano-micro-bloatware to facilitate. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Shoutbound practically invented the term "user interfaces". The backward-compatible, subscriber-defined end-to-end, web-enabled, impactful data hygiene management factor is out-of-the-box. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry industry jargon "end-to-end, client-focused bloatware" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. Think micro-real-time. We often visualize frictionless structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to brand. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Quick: do you have a robust scheme for managing new all-hands meetings?