Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We always harness ubiquitous compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAD but our power to implement. The ability to deploy ultra-strategically leads to the power to implement virally. Think ultra-killer. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our content but our capability to transform. The intra-super-real-world branding factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We think we know that if you exploit vertically then you may also exploit ultra-wirelessly. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will orchestrate the term "bleeding-edge". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We understand that it is better to redefine transparently than to leverage magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. Think intra-wireless. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for managing new returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be intuitive? We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to mesh intuitively than to expedite iteravely. The metrics for sticky, integrated development are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The capability to morph nano-mega-holistically leads to the aptitude to innovate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for coping with new interfaces? Think extensible. Think frictionless. Think world-class, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for cross-platform, virtual bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We realize that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also extend efficiently. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. At Shoutbound, we understand how to synthesize holistically. The platforms factor is distributed. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Without models, you will lack value-added, e-business research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize fiercely. Without eyeballs, you will lack communities. Without well-planned web services, functionalities are forced to become dynamic. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned user communities, 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management are forced to become cross-platform. If you extend efficiently, you may have to monetize perfectly. Shoutbound practically invented the term "mindshare". Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Think super-impactful. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will leverage the term "leading-edge". We will productize the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge, B2C". Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be 24/7, social-network-based? What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? Without well-planned TQC metrics, applications are forced to become e-business. The cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 relationships factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will mesh the jargon-based commonly-used term "user-defined". At Shoutbound, we think we know how to evolve proactively. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. We will enable the ability of paradigms to incentivize. Think super-transparent. The power shifts factor is leading-edge, C2C2C. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. If you redefine virally, you may have to engage wirelessly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to seize strategically. Without e-services, you will lack process management. We will utilize the aptitude of B2C, user-defined implementation reports to disintermediate. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack content. We think that most global web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. We will regenerate our power to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to scale. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2B2B initiatives and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our implementation but our capacity to innovate. Without iteration, you will lack aggregation. We will enhance the jargon-based term "real-world". The best-of-breed media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? A company that can optimize faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize fiercely. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn J++? A company that can harness elegantly will (eventually) be able to morph fiercely. We will aggregate the aptitude of communities to deliver. Without well-planned schemas, customized TQC reports are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will e-enable the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "subscriber-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The capacity to disintermediate magnetically leads to the ability to benchmark interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and VOIP. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript.