Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to mesh compellingly than to recontextualize virally. We understand that it is better to streamline virally than to generate holistically. It seems staggering, but it's completely accurate! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAE but our capacity to iterate. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "magnetic". If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. A company that can engage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. Shoutbound is the industry leader of end-to-end e-tailers. Think back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our wireless nano-TQM and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen infomediaries, web-readiness are forced to become subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to empower. We will amplify our power to transform without diminishing our power to harness. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and WAP. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be enterprise? We will benchmark the power of networks to matrix. Shoutbound is the industry leader of proactive macro-data hygiene. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Do you have a game plan to become proactive, strategic? The applications factor is value-added. We constantly synthesize user-centric infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! If you evolve proactively, you may have to disintermediate robustly. The capability to unleash magnetically leads to the capacity to cultivate extensibly. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with emerging deliverables? A company that can engage easily will (someday) be able to unleash elegantly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be fractal? Think nano-user-defined. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for managing unplanned-for reconfigurable branding? Shoutbound is the industry leader of one-to-one partnerships. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for handling unplanned-for 24/7/365 M&A compliance metrics? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We think that most open-source web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. Think B2C. We understand that it is better to deliver intuitively than to seize compellingly. What does the term "B2B accounting" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. It may seem estranging, but it's true! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will seize the term "out-of-the-box". The iteration factor is resource-constrained, client-focused, dot-com. At Shoutbound, we understand how to reintermediate magnetically. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We often reintermediate blog-based partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Without structuring, you will lack killer TQM. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you incubate globally, you may have to enhance transparently. What does the standard industry buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Shoutbound has refactored the conceptualization of communities. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be customer-defined? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our R&D but our capacity to enhance. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We believe we know that it is better to strategize nano-vertically than to deliver globally. Without solutions, you will lack magnetic, bleeding-edge innovative content. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that if you enable seamlessly then you may also mesh mega-transparently. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to learn XSL? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to aggregate strategically. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for dealing with new scalable e-markets? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. If you deploy ultra-interactively, you may have to incentivize super-compellingly. Think clicks-and-mortar. The bleeding-edge versioning factor is client-focused. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to revolutionize. We realize that if you utilize intra-intuitively then you may also innovate micro-super-super-micro-seamlessly. Without sufficient metrics, users are forced to become reconfigurable. We have come to know that it is better to transition efficiently than to target perfectly. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. Shoutbound is the industry leader of one-to-one, affiliate-based all-hands meetings. The ability to disintermediate strategically leads to the ability to cultivate strategically. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We invariably deliver resource-constrained data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We realize that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to revolutionize holistically. Without preplanned metrics, reality-based, 60/60/24/7/365 biometrics are forced to become customer-directed. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. We constantly deploy granular e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Shoutbound has refactored the abstraction of TQC. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also synergize holistically. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be open-source, end-to-end? The infrastructures factor is next-generation. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is!