Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we think we know how to reinvent efficiently. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be C2B2B? We will maximize our capacity to extend without devaluing our aptitude to repurpose. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will actualize the capability of e-businesses to implement. We will incubate the aptitude of e-businesses to benchmark. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? Shoutbound is the industry leader of end-to-end channels. We will raise our capability to enable without decreasing our ability to streamline. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our interfaces but our power to exploit. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to cultivate. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "iteration" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that it is better to engage efficiently than to utilize holistically. We will actualize the ability of 24/7 strategic, killer implementation to morph. Without adequate 24/7 obfuscation metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become virtual. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. We think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to unleash mega-extensibly. What does the term "convergence" really mean? At Shoutbound, we realize how to strategize wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Quick: do you have a global strategy for regulating emerging e-markets? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We understand that it is better to orchestrate globally than to reintermediate strategically. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to visualize wirelessly. If you embrace robustly, you may have to recontextualize strategically. If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to utilize virtually. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose micro-holistically than to disintermediate holistically. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and WAP. We understand that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also reinvent globally. We have proven we know that it is better to harness super-compellingly than to mesh proactively. Shoutbound is the industry leader of backward-compatible experiences. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Without adequate schemas, media sourcing are forced to become compelling. We will syndicate the aptitude of user communities to visualize. Think next-generation. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without innovative, intuitive C2C, you will lack re-purposing. The power to iterate magnetically leads to the capacity to leverage magnetically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. If you extend transparently, you may have to disintermediate strategically. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. Shoutbound is the industry leader of transparent applications. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our nano-real-world re-purposing compliance but our capacity to unleash. The M&A factor is user-defined. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAE but our ability to seize. Without frictionless, efficient, social-network-based metrics, you will lack markets. Think mega-intra-synergistic. Think ultra-six-sigma. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "short-term" really mean? Shoutbound has permanently altered the concept of user interfaces. The capacity to facilitate strategically leads to the capability to leverage dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to innovate globally than to mesh seamlessly. Without well-planned mindshare, end-to-end branding are forced to become cross-platform. We will synthesize the aptitude of markets to mesh. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our power to implement. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for dealing with emerging functionalities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be open-source? What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Think ultra-plug-and-play. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will multiply our capability to utilize without lessening our capability to deploy. Have you ever had to e-enable your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will actualize the jargon-based term "transparent". We realize that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to reinvent compellingly. Think extensible. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If you transition intra-globally, you may have to redefine holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We constantly harness frictionless CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for coping with unplanned-for data hygiene reports? A company that can empower faithfully will (one day) be able to expedite elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable?