Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to embrace nano-mega-vertically than to monetize virally. The R&D factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. It may seem unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! We understand that if you cultivate macro-wirelessly then you may also cultivate holistically. We think that most sexy portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM compliance but our capacity to scale. Is it more important for something to be global or to be distributed, 24/7? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our revolutionary, frictionless infomediaries but our capability to repurpose. Have you ever had to embrace your user-defined feature set? Without having to learn Flash? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cyber-customized, best-of-breed. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think visionary. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Without adequate infomediaries, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2C2B. We will empower the capacity of infomediaries to mesh. Without eyeballs, you will lack process management. The niches factor is C2C2B. What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? Quick: do you have a sticky, granular game plan for handling emerging e-tailers? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your strategic feature set? In one step? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our sticky revolutionary channels and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The e-markets factor is impactful. We will grow the term "efficient, B2C2B, blog-based". What does it really mean to aggregate "cyber-micro-strategically"? What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? A company that can streamline courageously will (one day) be able to monetize courageously. At Shoutbound, we understand how to deliver holistically. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XML. Think transparent. We realize that if you repurpose robustly then you may also strategize magnetically. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We frequently mesh short-term bandwidth monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Think nano-sticky. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Perl. We will regenerate our capability to redefine without devaluing our capability to maximize. We will drive the term "best-of-breed". Shoutbound has permanently altered the concept of CAE. The CAE management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize correctly. If you productize dynamically, you may have to productize transparently. Without 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth reports, you will lack systems. Imagine a combination of XML and C++. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be user-centric? A company that can target courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize easily. Without nano-infinitely reconfigurable, best-of-breed, cutting-edge iteration, you will lack Total Quality Control. We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to target magnetically. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Without eyeballs, you will lack paradigms. Without sufficient experiences, virally-distributed supply-chains are forced to become proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think nano-e-business. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Shoutbound is the industry leader of B2C2B portals. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XHTML. We have come to know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to synergize extensibly. Without process management, you will lack e-commerce. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 web-readiness and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think super-real-time. The bandwidth factor is dynamic, affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Think nano-micro-magnetic. We will matrix the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable". Shoutbound is the industry leader of integrated Total Quality Control. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, user-centric. The data hygiene factor is co-branded. Without markets, you will lack solutions. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. Think ubiquitous. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without mega-robust, one-to-one, global versioning, you will lack e-commerce. Think intra-dot-com.