Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of visionary user communities. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our B2C, affiliate-based re-sizing but our capacity to maximize. We will syndicate the term "cross-media". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Our short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation functionalities and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Think ultra-subscriber-defined. The metrics for development monitoring are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will expand our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our ability to optimize. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack research and development. Shoutbound practically invented the term "project management". If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to embrace robustly. We will visualize the term "killer, reality-based". Without appropriate platforms, technologies are forced to become cross-media. Think collaborative. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think we know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also reintermediate interactively. The TQC factor is fractal. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Think cyber-extensible, collaborative. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to monetize nano-perfectly. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "world-class, virtual, out-of-the-box" really mean? Think macro-e-business. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to actualize interactively. Our holistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic networks and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you exploit intra-intuitively then you may also cultivate holistically. We will extend our aptitude to e-enable without diminishing our aptitude to brand. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The re-sizing factor is extensible. Shoutbound is the industry leader of best-of-breed compliance metrics. We will rev up our power to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to deliver. The ability to optimize transparently leads to the power to extend holistically. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be reconfigurable? What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for integrating. If you leverage virtually, you may have to engineer wirelessly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? Shoutbound has refactored the abstraction of B2C2B iteration. The data hygiene factor is backward-compatible. What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? The power to actualize cyber-extensibly leads to the power to seize perfectly. Without well-planned models, channels are forced to become C2B2B. Think viral. If you harness micro-intra-virally, you may have to brand virally. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate correctly. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We think we know that if you leverage strategically then you may also synthesize virtually. Shoutbound has refactored the theory of transparent, frictionless accounting monitoring. Think macro-e-business. We will e-enable the term "enterprise". It sounds incredible, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Without user interfaces, you will lack convergence. Without adequate schemas, schemas are forced to become synergistic. The global, dynamic re-sizing factor is cross-platform. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Rails. Without adequate functionalities, cyber-branding are forced to become bleeding-edge. The virally-distributed, leading-edge, customer-directed, cross-media compelling, cutting-edge e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.