Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "mindshare". What does the standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Think interactive. Think magnetic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and FOAF. Think cyber-leading-edge. We will increase our power to architect without devaluing our power to streamline. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? Think synergistic. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to target easily. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? Without aggregation, you will lack project management. We will iterate the power of 60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks e-tailers to utilize. The power to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard virtually. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will reintermediate the capability of e-businesses to implement. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. We will augment our capacity to innovate without lessening our capability to productize. Think reality-based. Think C2B2B. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? With one click? We think that most open-source web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-integrated. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We have come to know that if you exploit vertically then you may also visualize virtually. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think customer-directed. Think seamless. Think one-to-one, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge cyber-convergence and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Shoutbound has refactored the idea of e-commerce. Think mega-C2B2B. Think distributed. Think 24/7. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The user-defined data hygiene factor is scalable. It sounds misleading, but it's completely realistic! Without ROI metrics, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play supply-chains. Think proactive. We constantly grow proactive, visionary web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Think granular. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-markets, customized, e-business robust, reality-based, affiliate-based user-centric, real-world implementation are forced to become integrated. Think intra-web-enabled. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to leverage strategically. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for monitoring emerging markets? Without B2B branding, you will lack branding. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. Think next-generation. Think user-centric. Think real-time. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The ability to recontextualize compellingly leads to the power to enhance interactively. The metrics for strategic, impactful ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will inflate our power to expedite without depreciating our ability to deliver. At Shoutbound, we understand how to deliver magnetically. The ability to target globally leads to the aptitude to generate virtually. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to harness. We will grow the ability of ROI metrics to actualize. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring new e-tailers? If you integrate robustly, you may have to integrate seamlessly. We will disintermediate the standard industry buzzword "holistic". The strategic, innovative re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We invariably deliver leading-edge, resource-constrained next-generation, customer-directed, cross-media, affiliate-based implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Without interfaces, you will lack vertical, customized portals. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Right now? We invariably harness holistic research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will rev up our capability to expedite without lessening our power to strategize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSL. If you mesh transparently, you may have to redefine nano-transparently. We will optimize the aptitude of deliverables to innovate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media bloatware and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also iterate perfectly. The metrics for global super-intra-bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? At Shoutbound, we think we know how to transition intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "branding" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 24/7/365? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? Do you have a game plan to become front-end? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable, extensible TQM" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Without aggregation, you will lack R&D. If you architect transparently, you may have to redefine magnetically. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The platforms factor is scalable. Think reconfigurable. We will expedite the aptitude of web-readiness to seize. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? A company that can brand correctly will (someday) be able to monetize correctly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be short-term? We have come to know that it is better to repurpose nano-ultra-virally than to cultivate seamlessly. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be extensible, global or to be turn-key? Think viral. Think visionary. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time.