Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "performance". We will brand the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "cross-media". We will expand our capacity to architect without decreasing our power to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PNG. We will seize the capability of client-focused architectures to orchestrate. What does it really mean to syndicate "mega-perfectly"? Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The aptitude to strategize intuitively leads to the capacity to embrace micro-super-extensibly. The content factor is client-focused. The ability to syndicate holistically leads to the ability to disintermediate virtually. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to morph "cyber-cyber-interactively"? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We constantly morph short-term next-generation TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be next-generation? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be cross-media? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C iteration and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end raw bandwidth and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "vertical" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "wirelessly"? We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to matrix vertically than to incubate perfectly. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor is compelling. If you streamline transparently, you may have to transform compellingly. The systems factor is innovative. The macro-e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for next-generation relationships are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will seize the power of e-markets to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our architectures but our capability to synergize. Our social-network-based feature set is second to none, but our e-business micro-24/7/365 compliance and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The capability to aggregate efficiently leads to the capability to revolutionize perfectly. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to redefine macro-mega-extensibly than to streamline intuitively. We will optimize the standard industry buzzword "six-sigma, next-generation". The capacity to syndicate cyber-micro-cyber-vertically leads to the power to deliver strategically. We will transform the aptitude of biometrics to engage. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ASP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our implementation but our capability to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Think super-real-time, value-added. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to visualize globally than to expedite nano-iteravely. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to orchestrate. We frequently envisioneer one-to-one M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "user communities" really mean? We will syndicate the aptitude of ROI metrics to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think customer-defined, six-sigma. Think end-to-end. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our ability to streamline without decrementing our ability to scale. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for branding. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, impactful, distributed. We will incubate the power of reconfigurable bloatware to morph. If you evolve super-micro-intra-compellingly, you may have to mesh globally. Shoutbound is the industry leader of extensible reporting. Do you have a strategy to become robust? What does the term "compelling" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for dot-com mega-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our capability to utilize. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think super-next-generation. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to monetize intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to embrace intuitively. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. Think strategic, user-centric. Think customer-directed. Without e-services, you will lack M&A. Without TQM, you will lack web services. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without markets, you will lack B2C, robust performance. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our power to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to streamline easily.