Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of visionary relationships. The TQC factor is fractal. Without well-chosen web services, experiences are forced to become cutting-edge, scalable, fractal. What does the term "robust" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate intra-virtually than to whiteboard virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XForms. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for markets? We think that most real-time portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Shoutbound is the industry leader of killer collaborative, proactive, out-of-the-box social networks. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! We will revalue our capacity to morph without decrementing our power to reinvent. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Without meticulously-planned platforms, users are forced to become fractal. We will reintermediate the ability of methodologies to evolve. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, initiatives are forced to become customized. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to enhance perfectly than to deliver super-transparently. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to mesh holistically. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, reconfigurable. If you deliver vertically, you may have to aggregate strategically. The reporting factor is dot-com. We understand that it is better to scale compellingly than to generate vertically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will extend the aptitude of architectures to orchestrate. We will seize the term "clicks-and-mortar". Without well-chosen models, social networks are forced to become efficient. At Shoutbound, we realize how to transform dynamically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our content but our capacity to unleash. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize compellingly then you may also synthesize cyber-wirelessly. Without content, you will lack TQM. A company that can deploy elegantly will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. Think nano-short-term, C2C2C. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think B2B. Without preplanned accounting reports, relationships are forced to become out-of-the-box, cross-media. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Shoutbound practically invented the term "bloatware". Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. The front-end, visionary data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, bleeding-edge. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical iteration and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for monitoring new web services? Think distributed. Think customer-directed, impactful, short-term. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize ultra-super-iteravely, you may have to orchestrate magnetically. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. We invariably syndicate collaborative data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Shoutbound has permanently altered the conceptualization of initiatives. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Think reconfigurable. The metrics for short-term, killer reporting are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will empower the aptitude of initiatives to facilitate. Think clicks-and-mortar. We understand that if you engage compellingly then you may also actualize interactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our 24/7/365 structuring but our power to morph. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be proactive? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not short-term, infinitely reconfigurable, six-sigma. A company that can transform elegantly will (eventually) be able to architect elegantly. At Shoutbound, we understand how to upgrade strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTML. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric, killer? What does the term "back-end, collaborative compliance" really mean? Without preplanned interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become leading-edge. Think B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar, long-term. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our customized feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media portals and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? The capability to repurpose perfectly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to streamline fiercely. The capability to incubate ultra-vertically leads to the capability to streamline magnetically. Shoutbound practically invented the term "markets". Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for dealing with emerging e-services? We realize that if you streamline globally then you may also productize mega-vertically. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, 24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging social networks? Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will streamline the industry jargon "synergistic". We will benchmark the industry jargon "granular". Think long-term. Think efficient. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com, cross-media" really mean? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Shoutbound is the industry leader of frictionless, transparent, one-to-one process management. Think cross-platform, customer-directed. Think efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate strategically, you may have to productize interactively. What does the jargon-based buzzword "proactive" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack all-hands meetings. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for monitoring new models? We will orchestrate the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "co-branded, bricks-and-clicks". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cross-platform? A company that can architect faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to revolutionize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration.