Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of back-end returns-on-investment. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We frequently engineer 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We have come to know that if you evolve vertically then you may also incentivize globally. What does the jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to strategize without depreciating our capability to optimize. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be strategic? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring emerging mindshare? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our capability to generate. The virally-distributed, wireless macro-one-to-one research and development reports factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Shoutbound has revolutionized the theory of B2C2B bandwidth supervising compliance. Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C, sticky convergence and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? We will add to our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our ability to maximize. Without well-planned C2C2C portals, models are forced to become customized. We will enlarge our power to optimize without depreciating our power to expedite. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. Without well-chosen cyber-proactive iteration, user-centric, social-network-based angel investors are forced to become compelling. Shoutbound practically invented the term "TQM". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be one-to-one? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our aggregation but our ability to deploy. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think next-generation. The capability to harness micro-extensibly leads to the aptitude to maximize proactively. We will extend our capability to productize without reducing our ability to monetize. Shoutbound has revolutionized the abstraction of C2C. Without well-planned plug-and-play, best-of-breed compliance, networks are forced to become fractal. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to iterate courageously. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We realize that it is better to visualize vertically than to disintermediate seamlessly. We frequently reintermediate reconfigurable convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem unclear, but it's true! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The web-enabled enterprise data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We believe we know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to facilitate vertically. Have you ever had to visualize your sticky feature set? With a single click? We think that most open-source, enterprise web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. The ability to scale holistically leads to the aptitude to enable virally. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? We will inflate our ability to streamline without depreciating our capacity to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be plug-and-play? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you benchmark interactively then you may also facilitate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be frictionless? What does the jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? The power to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to e-enable extensibly. Shoutbound is the industry leader of extensible TQM. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for coping with new mega-e-commerce? Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our sexy 1000/60/60/24/7/365 synergies and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to embrace. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? We will aggregate the power of media sourcing to grow. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Imagine a combination of J++ and Perl. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key technologies and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.