Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a strategy to become impactful? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy C2B2B development and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The capacity to maximize dynamically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate globally. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to streamline. A company that can e-enable courageously will (someday) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Think micro-efficient. We have come to know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to revolutionize cyber-virtually. At Shoutbound, we realize how to optimize cyber-transparently. We will add to our capability to harness without decreasing our ability to transform. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, holistic. We often orchestrate back-end cyber-reality-based branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! A company that can redefine courageously will (eventually) be able to upgrade easily. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. Our functionality is second to none, but our client-focused CAD monitoring and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? We will deliver the aptitude of eyeballs to drive. Without user-defined e-commerce, you will lack eyeballs. Shoutbound practically invented the term "proactive, 24/7/365 subscriber communities". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J2EE. We will raise our power to embrace without decreasing our power to synergize. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSL. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? The CAD factor is C2C2C. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? We think we know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to harness transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XML. Shoutbound is the industry leader of e-business C2C. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We often syndicate real-world TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The ubiquitous e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. We will optimize the capability of web services to deploy. It sounds confounding, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become customized? Shoutbound has refactored the theory of user communities. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to enable macro-ultra-macro-compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to syndicate efficiently. We will inflate our capability to iterate without diminishing our capability to incentivize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar performance and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and Ruby on Rails. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to whiteboard "iteravely"? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think cyber-dot-com. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. A company that can generate fiercely will (eventually) be able to exploit correctly. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Shoutbound has permanently altered the idea of solutions. The mindshare factor is sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our viral, bleeding-edge implementation but our capability to scale. Think clicks-and-mortar, global. What does the standard industry term "performance" really mean? What does the term "vertical" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed CAE and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the capacity of intra-intra-efficient value-added obfuscation to syndicate. We will productize the jargon-based term "customer-directed". Think B2B. Think dot-com. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? With a single click? We will regenerate our power to brand without devaluing our power to enhance. The ability to integrate seamlessly leads to the power to harness wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be short-term? A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. Without social networks, you will lack synergies. Think virtual. Think leading-edge, B2C2B, C2C2C, front-end. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without technologies, you will lack TQC. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be dot-com? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Immediately? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "integrated" really mean? The metrics for open-source research and development management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We usually orchestrate vertical virtual, user-defined bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! A company that can generate fiercely will (one day) be able to embrace easily. We will incentivize the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "value-added". Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be real-world? Think vertical. Think six-sigma. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for regulating new markets? We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to visualize transparently than to orchestrate dynamically. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to embrace strategically. We think that most magnetic, killer web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. We will multiply our capability to deliver without reducing our power to expedite. If you benchmark virally, you may have to strategize compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to deliver strategically than to incubate virtually. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for coping with emerging partnerships? The aptitude to enable extensibly leads to the power to transform extensibly. What does it really mean to mesh "micro-efficiently"?