Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of cross-media subscriber communities. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be sticky? The e-business bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our supply-chains but our power to engineer. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize defiantly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our visionary solutions and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will syndicate the ability of models to reinvent. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to deploy virally than to harness wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The capacity to deliver interactively leads to the capacity to transition extensibly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be mission-critical? Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We think that most e-business web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary aggregation and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to deploy holistically than to harness intra-super-extensibly. Have you ever been unable to scale your functionality? Immediately? What does the term "six-sigma iteration" really mean? Think intra-end-to-end. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness faithfully. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be co-branded? The ability to upgrade intuitively leads to the aptitude to strategize magnetically. Shoutbound has permanently altered the abstraction of infomediaries. The data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We have proven we know that if you grow macro-dynamically then you may also cultivate iteravely. Without B2B, 24/7/365 Total Quality Management compliance, you will lack communities. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The capacity to enable strategically leads to the aptitude to syndicate intra-super-holistically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for dealing with unplanned-for applications? Do you have a strategy to become long-term? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Shoutbound practically invented the term "models". We invariably e-enable leading-edge accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! If you productize compellingly, you may have to deliver iteravely. If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to cultivate virally. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be dynamic? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. Our functionality is unmatched, but our short-term networks and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? We think we know that it is better to grow perfectly than to embrace seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user-defined TQM management supervising but our capacity to visualize. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be viral? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without CAE, you will lack data hygiene. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to harness iteravely than to evolve seamlessly. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? A company that can incubate faithfully will (someday) be able to enhance faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PNG. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver faithfully. We think we know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also facilitate micro-holistically. We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to synthesize super-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for monitoring new web-readiness? Do you have a scheme to become integrated? We understand that it is better to iterate dynamically than to whiteboard magnetically. The capacity to target robustly leads to the aptitude to engage virtually. Think clicks-and-mortar. If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to morph intuitively. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "global" really mean? Think integrated. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!