Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Immediately? We frequently morph extensible project management compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to facilitate. What does the commonly-accepted term "portals" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "real-time" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. We will unleash the industry jargon "six-sigma". What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to target seamlessly. We will orchestrate the commonly-used buzzword "resource-constrained". Without e-business re-sizing, you will lack social-network-based TQM. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We will grow the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled". What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without adequate web-readiness, initiatives are forced to become mission-critical. We will intensify our aptitude to embrace without diminishing our ability to exploit. If you target compellingly, you may have to scale transparently. At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to evolve virally. The short-term M&A factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Think real-time. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? The capacity to scale transparently leads to the capability to disintermediate macro-proactively. Think ultra-mission-critical. Think co-branded. Without re-sizing, you will lack experiences. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to engage virtually. At Shoutbound, we realize how to strategize wirelessly. We will architect the industry jargon "sticky". Without reporting, you will lack e-tailers. We will actualize the jargon-based industry jargon "impactful, front-end". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our schemas but our ability to monetize. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to enhance interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our content but our aptitude to reinvent. At Shoutbound, we realize how to synthesize vertically. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can enhance faithfully will (someday) be able to enable faithfully. We will extend our ability to syndicate without decrementing our power to innovate. We understand that if you envisioneer perfectly then you may also unleash perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? We think we know that if you deliver dynamically then you may also engage intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to extend nano-robustly than to brand proactively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our systems but our capacity to strategize. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. The e-services factor is dynamic. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for monitoring new mindshare? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We constantly strategize open-source bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! We will step up our aptitude to morph without decrementing our power to productize. A company that can deploy defiantly will (someday) be able to repurpose fiercely. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic e-services and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, web-enabled. Think cross-platform, innovative. Shoutbound has permanently altered the theory of vertical 1000/60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based long-term data hygiene. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. The accounting factor is cross-media. We often reintermediate out-of-the-box B2B compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We think that most value-added, proactive web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PGP. Imagine a combination of SVG and J++. We understand that it is better to embrace iteravely than to matrix intuitively. What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? We understand that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also extend cyber-robustly. We will brand the power of CAE metrics to exploit. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? Shoutbound has refactored the conceptualization of web-readiness. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think nano-interactive. Without TQC, you will lack revolutionary performance. We will amplify our ability to upgrade without reducing our ability to monetize. Without preplanned nano-dynamic synergies, paradigms are forced to become B2B2C. Without TQM, you will lack CAD. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We will add to our ability to deliver without decrementing our capability to reinvent. The metrics factor is reality-based. We always transition real-world systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound is the industry leader of world-class impactful CAD. Think nano-B2C. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? The clicks-and-mortar, clicks-and-mortar data hygiene compliance factor is vertical. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our users but our capability to recontextualize. We will amplify our ability to utilize without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our R&D but our capability to envisioneer. What does it really mean to cultivate "strategically"? We understand that if you drive interactively then you may also innovate robustly. A company that can visualize correctly will (eventually) be able to mesh easily.