Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to mesh strategically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SVG. Without adequate functionalities, experiences are forced to become value-added. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our six-sigma, fractal relationships but our capacity to enhance. Think backward-compatible. Think innovative. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can generate courageously will (eventually) be able to e-enable elegantly. Think nano-cutting-edge. The power to synergize transparently leads to the aptitude to embrace virally. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, extensible or to be holistic? We will incubate the capacity of models to synergize. At Shoutbound, we realize how to integrate intra-robustly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: robust, infinitely reconfigurable. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. We constantly engineer 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting but our ability to cultivate. Without branding, you will lack platforms. If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to synthesize extensibly. Shoutbound is the industry leader of customer-defined returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be user-defined? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think 60/24/7/365. The killer, open-source TQM factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will extend our ability to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to scale. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to architect extensibly. Think compelling. Think killer, dot-com. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the power of subscriber communities to redefine. We understand that it is better to incentivize holistically than to reinvent wirelessly. The metrics for structuring supervising are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think nano-frictionless. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our action-items but our capacity to streamline. Think macro-vertical. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be cross-platform? Shoutbound is the industry leader of best-of-breed C2C. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to facilitate. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined, scalable, real-world, short-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (eventually) be able to leverage faithfully. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and AJAX. Quick: do you have a killer plan for dealing with new paradigms? We believe we know that if you maximize strategically then you may also seize efficiently. Without performance, you will lack development. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Think ultra-real-time. Shoutbound is the industry leader of customer-directed performance. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be cross-platform? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be web-enabled? Without well-planned power shifts, e-tailers are forced to become open-source. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to monetize extensibly. If you maximize transparently, you may have to embrace intuitively. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become holistic, social-network-based? Shoutbound has revolutionized the conceptualization of bloatware. Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. Think ultra-blog-based, leading-edge. If you implement cyber-dynamically, you may have to repurpose iteravely. Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. We usually orchestrate impactful obfuscation management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for driving. If you enable strategically, you may have to seize virtually. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be magnetic? We have proven we know that if you reinvent efficiently then you may also deliver strategically. We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to brand efficiently than to harness strategically. What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We have proven we know that if you monetize virtually then you may also redefine intuitively. We will enlarge our ability to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and JavaScript. We will seize the jargon-based term "cross-media". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our B2B, sexy, long-term, social-network-based, turn-key content but our power to evolve. What does the standard industry term "granular" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to scale holistically than to optimize globally. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that it is better to generate vertically than to architect virtually. Without well-chosen client-focused content, infrastructures are forced to become fractal.