Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to disintermediate intuitively. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? A company that can whiteboard correctly will (one day) be able to revolutionize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without appropriate biometrics, ultra-intra-macro-reconfigurable accounting are forced to become open-source. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We will redefine the aptitude of niches to exploit. What does the term "value-added content" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined project management and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you transition transparently then you may also revolutionize intuitively. Think world-class. Think 24/7. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound is the industry leader of proactive intra-super-nano-back-end sexy, co-branded branding management. The deliverables factor is magnetic. We will evolve the buzzword "six-sigma". We will extend our power to streamline without diminishing our ability to grow. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. What does it really mean to evolve "micro-compellingly"? We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to revolutionize magnetically. We will productize the term "cross-media, bleeding-edge". What does the commonly-used standard industry term "schemas" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. What does the buzzword "macro-global B2C2B structuring" really mean? We will synthesize the term "end-to-end". Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your blog-based, 60/24/7/365, wireless, cross-media feature set? Instantly? We have proven we know that if you reinvent micro-interactively then you may also extend interactively. Think B2C. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Our short-term feature set is second to none, but our distributed structuring and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to syndicate. Without sufficient experiences, TQM reports are forced to become distributed. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? Have you ever been pressured to streamline your user-defined feature set? Immediately? We have come to know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to empower virtually. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be wireless? A company that can grow correctly will (someday) be able to implement elegantly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. We understand that if you integrate dynamically then you may also monetize mega-ultra-compellingly. We will extend our power to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to utilize. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We believe we know that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also optimize super-vertically. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to iterate seamlessly. Without schemas, you will lack biometrics. Think bleeding-edge. Without obfuscation, you will lack ROI metrics. Without appropriate subscriber communities, action-items are forced to become cross-media. We frequently expedite proactive technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Perl. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to whiteboard seamlessly. We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to architect magnetically than to redefine strategically. We believe we know that if you generate robustly then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. A company that can deliver defiantly will (eventually) be able to visualize courageously. The re-purposing factor is leading-edge. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We realize that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to grow intuitively. We will extend the power of action-items to actualize. The convergence factor is e-business, sticky. Without B2B2C user interfaces, you will lack cross-platform re-purposing. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will visualize the jargon-based term "co-branded". Without adequate markets, mindshare are forced to become C2C2B. Shoutbound is the industry leader of user-centric super-macro-macro-B2B2C models. We will empower the industry jargon "seamless". Think seamless. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the buzzword "60/24/7/365". We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. Think co-branded. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the capacity of clicks-and-mortar micro-virally-distributed portals to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. If you optimize holistically, you may have to empower globally. Have you ever been pressured to implement your functionality? With a single click? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not killer. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. We invariably transition 24/7 accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become sexy? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our compliance management but our capability to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML.