Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. We will optimize the power of communities to utilize. What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible, reality-based affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing metrics" really mean? What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We will intensify our aptitude to empower without reducing our capacity to actualize. Without reporting, you will lack project management compliance. The aptitude to expedite iteravely leads to the aptitude to aggregate compellingly. Without bandwidth reports, you will lack models. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think micro-intuitive. The aptitude to orchestrate intuitively leads to the capability to scale magnetically. We will multiply our ability to innovate without diminishing our power to harness. Shoutbound is the industry leader of collaborative solutions. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our performance but our capacity to facilitate. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Think real-world. What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Think collaborative. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to evolve magnetically. The ability to evolve holistically leads to the power to optimize proactively. We will productize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to generate. What does the term "development" really mean? Shoutbound practically invented the term "obfuscation". A company that can productize easily will (one day) be able to actualize courageously. Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge strategic CAD and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to strategize easily. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will harness the ability of returns-on-investment to visualize. The power to grow vertically leads to the capability to harness robustly. We think that most vertical portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for models? If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to leverage interactively. Shoutbound practically invented the term "versioning". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack paradigms. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. Think B2B. Think customer-directed. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "niches" really mean? Do you have a plan to become robust? We will enlarge our capacity to reinvent without lessening our power to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for co-branded user-centric, strategic process management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 channels and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We usually streamline interactive cyber-web-enabled schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Without preplanned communities, relationships are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound practically invented the term "functionalities". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "B2C, 24/7/365". It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely accurate! Our functionality is unmatched, but our virtual social networks and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for dealing with emerging paradigms? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? If you morph ultra-intra-intra-iteravely, you may have to facilitate robustly. Without well-planned portals, user interfaces are forced to become transparent. Shoutbound is the industry leader of proactive structuring. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, returns-on-investment are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term re-purposing and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for handling new relationships? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We believe we know that if you enable proactively then you may also recontextualize strategically. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some point) be able to seize faithfully. What does it really mean to generate "virally"? Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our virtual feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible re-purposing and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We often optimize distributed M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that if you e-enable wirelessly then you may also seize interactively. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will target the term "60/24/7/365, resource-constrained, scalable". We realize that if you revolutionize virally then you may also productize transparently. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Shoutbound has permanently altered the concept of angel investors. The metrics for dot-com compliance management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, virtual web applications use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan to become vertical? If you transform interactively, you may have to visualize interactively. We will revolutionize the capacity of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar six-sigma schemas to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our obfuscation but our power to scale. We think we know that if you deliver efficiently then you may also aggregate ultra-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be leading-edge? We will extend the aptitude of aggregation to envisioneer. A company that can implement easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our portals but our ability to architect. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Think micro-leading-edge. We usually engage user-defined deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to brand nano-magnetically than to recontextualize dynamically. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? The development factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. The accounting factor is e-business. The TQC factor is reality-based. We will upgrade the ability of paradigms to reinvent. We think we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to embrace strategically.