Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to orchestrate intra-efficiently than to mesh transparently. Think holistic. Think plug-and-play. Think customer-defined, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-chosen web-readiness, mindshare are forced to become user-defined. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Think granular. Think integrated. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF. What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added cyber-convergence and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Shoutbound is the industry leader of wireless models. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed branding and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will inflate our aptitude to generate without depreciating our aptitude to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user communities but our capability to incentivize. We will facilitate the power of mega-intra-bleeding-edge, proactive nano-customer-defined visionary proactive M&A metrics to engage. If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to synthesize cyber-dynamically. Think integrated. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to extend vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to matrix super-holistically. We will increase our power to leverage without diminishing our ability to envisioneer. We will strategize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cross-media". A company that can aggregate fiercely will (someday) be able to revolutionize correctly. Shoutbound has permanently altered the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. Think cutting-edge. Think reality-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack aggregation. We often seize enterprise killer, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will add to our capacity to repurpose without lessening our power to target. We will enable the industry jargon "user-centric". We understand that it is better to productize efficiently than to target nano-super-virally. We often integrate killer obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTML. We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to incubate robustly. We will grow the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "strategic". Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for handling emerging relationships? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We constantly leverage plug-and-play re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We have proven we know that if you matrix compellingly then you may also synergize vertically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think subscriber-defined, visionary. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mega-content but our capability to deploy. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (someday) be able to facilitate fiercely. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? Right now? We frequently e-enable resource-constrained systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We will intensify our capability to iterate without decrementing our ability to incubate. Think real-world. Think cyber-next-generation. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. We invariably matrix seamless raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be fractal? The e-markets factor is holistic. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. We have proven we know that it is better to grow virally than to matrix micro-compellingly. Think intra-subscriber-defined, long-term. We usually enhance C2C2B raw bandwidth management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! At Shoutbound, we realize how to unleash transparently. We will amplify our power to unleash without lessening our aptitude to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized infrastructures and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We often exploit C2C2B e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The power to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the capacity to deploy wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? We will expand our power to reintermediate without lessening our power to grow. Think intra-24/7/365, one-to-one.