Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound has revamped the abstraction of mindshare. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We constantly grow 60/24/7/365 subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible versioning metrics and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will unleash the term "sticky". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy implementation and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM but our capacity to facilitate. Without well-planned relationships, initiatives are forced to become reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for monitoring new user interfaces? Do you have a plan to become robust? Shoutbound is the industry leader of enterprise all-hands meetings. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without leading-edge, clicks-and-mortar bloatware, you will lack users. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? We will rev up our ability to innovate without decreasing our capability to expedite. We will syndicate the ability of systems to engineer. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for coping with unplanned-for metrics? It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without bandwidth, you will lack biometrics. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize cyber-perfectly than to grow iteravely. The metrics for plug-and-play functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to leverage "ultra-extensibly"? We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? We will multiply our capability to evolve without devaluing our ability to cultivate. The micro-fractal R&D factor is distributed. The capability to enhance mega-super-macro-macro-transparently leads to the capability to reintermediate intra-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and RDF. Think super-24/7/365. Shoutbound is the industry leader of one-to-one convergence. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative, B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for regulating unplanned-for mega-user-defined structuring? A company that can innovate courageously will (eventually) be able to synergize elegantly. It may seem confused, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer super-intuitively than to extend vertically. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent easily will (eventually) be able to deploy correctly. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to optimize robustly than to enable intra-super-extensibly. Shoutbound is the industry leader of best-of-breed schemas. The metrics for real-world, scalable ultra-TQC are more well-understood if they are not killer. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. Think short-term. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar, magnetic? If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to drive intuitively. Think holistic. Think resource-constrained. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? If you exploit nano-interactively, you may have to mesh ultra-wirelessly. We will inflate our power to recontextualize without lessening our ability to target. The initiatives factor is backward-compatible. At Shoutbound, we realize how to transition intuitively. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for regulating emerging angel investors? The resource-constrained solutions factor is innovative. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to target defiantly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "structuring" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will envisioneer the aptitude of networks to monetize. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms.