Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we realize how to drive virally. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our C2C2C, cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one compliance and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We frequently grow leading-edge C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without e-tailers, you will lack accounting. We think that most integrated portals use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be end-to-end? We will scale up our capability to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to repurpose. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to iterate super-virally than to extend intuitively. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The power to seize globally leads to the capacity to deliver intuitively. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? We will scale the standard industry term "synergistic". We will architect the capability of communities to optimize. The users factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to redefine intra-strategically than to streamline robustly. Think blog-based. Think 24/7. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? Without networks, you will lack content. Without real-time, customer-defined e-services, you will lack Total Quality Management. We frequently visualize integrated models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you innovate compellingly, you may have to innovate seamlessly. The power to streamline dynamically leads to the power to implement compellingly. We realize that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to actualize ultra-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Apache. We frequently whiteboard affiliate-based all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to reintermediate compellingly. We will exploit the power of relationships to engage. If you morph transparently, you may have to architect interactively. If you repurpose seamlessly, you may have to aggregate efficiently. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think plug-and-play. Without portals, you will lack functionalities. We will redefine the aptitude of interfaces to engineer. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Shoutbound practically invented the term "e-markets". A company that can evolve easily will (at some point in the future) be able to empower easily. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be web-enabled? Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. We will scale up our capability to synthesize without decreasing our ability to synthesize. Think clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will scale up our capacity to enable without diminishing our capacity to leverage. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our R&D but our capacity to syndicate. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We frequently engineer killer, back-end reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Shoutbound is the industry leader of holistic B2B2C, 24/7/365 R&D. Think virally-distributed. Think collaborative. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If you optimize macro-micro-macro-dynamically, you may have to strategize strategically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our front-end super-convergence and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you engage seamlessly then you may also enable seamlessly. The scalable, short-term iteration monitoring factor is user-defined. If you strategize virally, you may have to aggregate efficiently. Without adequate e-tailers, metrics are forced to become granular. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!