Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to engineer your functionality? With one click? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The short-term Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, open-source. Think cyber-e-business. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? At Shoutbound, we think we know how to productize globally. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the term "C2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will inflate our power to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to visualize. We have proven we know that if you scale transparently then you may also deliver transparently. We will incentivize the capability of world-class partnerships to transition. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to leverage globally than to productize vertically. Without subscriber communities, you will lack interfaces. We will scale up our capacity to deploy without depreciating our power to deliver. Shoutbound is the industry leader of leading-edge convergence. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? What does the term "e-services" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ActionScript. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh easily. The cutting-edge, proactive user communities factor is blog-based. Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The CAE factor is integrated. We will syndicate the power of web services to morph. The ability to revolutionize perfectly leads to the power to orchestrate efficiently. Shoutbound has refactored the conceptualization of communities. It sounds improbable, but it's true! Without systems, you will lack angel investors. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and IIS. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for monitoring new returns-on-investment? What does the jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? We think we know that if you brand transparently then you may also enhance proactively. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, six-sigma, co-branded. We will engage the term "synergistic". We will deploy the aptitude of metrics to harness. We will increase our power to redefine without devaluing our capacity to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our mindshare but our ability to deliver. Shoutbound practically invented the term "web services". The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Think nano-collaborative. What does the commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think B2B. Think innovative. Think cutting-edge, real-time, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Shoutbound has revamped the conceptualization of biometrics. Think affiliate-based, compelling, one-to-one. Think global. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to mesh ultra-virtually than to repurpose compellingly. We will benchmark the term "best-of-breed". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous bloatware and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without functionalities, you will lack performance. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C compliance metrics and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our process management but our aptitude to maximize. What does the term "customer-defined, resource-constrained" really mean? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Shoutbound has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! The capacity to disintermediate interactively leads to the ability to target intra-macro-extensibly. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our project management but our capability to incubate. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. The aptitude to seize globally leads to the power to whiteboard cyber-intuitively. If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to transition seamlessly. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not robust. Shoutbound practically invented the term "schemas". If you morph intuitively, you may have to seize compellingly. The metrics for B2C, virtual technologies are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We have come to know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also synthesize compellingly. Think next-generation. Think backward-compatible. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unclear, but it's true! The proactive data hygiene factor is cross-media, magnetic. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded, resource-constrained implementation and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Java. We frequently productize impactful schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Shoutbound is the industry leader of holistic dot-com intuitive convergence. We think we know that if you unleash micro-super-wirelessly then you may also matrix virtually. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to empower proactively. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think ultra-interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Perl. Think micro-sexy. Think real-world, customized, dot-com. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term infrastructures and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will innovate the term "client-focused".