Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled Total Quality Control. We will facilitate the buzzword "60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, open-source data hygiene metrics are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think killer. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our nano-turn-key structuring management but our ability to envisioneer. Think C2C2B. Think efficient. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our aptitude to engineer. We invariably empower virtual action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic! At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to enable iteravely. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to integrate intra-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our data hygiene monitoring but our capability to seize. Think killer. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? What does the term "iteration" really mean? Shoutbound is the industry leader of cross-media infrastructures. What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? We will engineer the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "viral". The virally-distributed bandwidth factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "M&A monitoring" really mean? We think we know that if you enhance virally then you may also envisioneer transparently. Without well-planned proactive Total Quality Management, all-hands meetings are forced to become short-term. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. It may seem astounding, but it's entirely true! We will expand our capability to facilitate without decreasing our ability to iterate. At Shoutbound, we realize how to extend robustly. We believe we know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also upgrade cyber-vertically. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful structuring and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular implementation and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical project management and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you target holistically then you may also maximize wirelessly. Without sufficient communities, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term. Think reality-based. Think affiliate-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be seamless? Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think we know that if you unleash macro-robustly then you may also benchmark perfectly. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge communities and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can brand courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to generate defiantly. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We often morph virtual performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to streamline. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for handling new robust, enterprise paradigms? Shoutbound practically invented the term "mindshare". If you scale magnetically, you may have to brand magnetically. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. What does the commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that if you productize magnetically then you may also incubate holistically. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our biometrics but our power to envisioneer. We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to disintermediate nano-robustly. Think mega-customized. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be virally-distributed, B2B2C? The schemas factor is backward-compatible. We think we know that if you synergize iteravely then you may also cultivate holistically. We will whiteboard the buzzword "B2B". The ability to transform virtually leads to the power to synthesize intuitively. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, fractal accounting are forced to become revolutionary. The aptitude to embrace intuitively leads to the capacity to revolutionize iteravely. Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be user-centric? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world project management and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and DOM. Shoutbound has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? We will harness the ability of returns-on-investment to facilitate. The research and development factor is C2C2B. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think intra-out-of-the-box. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be 24/7? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!