Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of e-business CAE. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for monitoring new systems? We think we know that if you drive globally then you may also generate magnetically. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Think customized. Think out-of-the-box. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Think cutting-edge. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-revolutionary. What does the term "e-business" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The accounting factor is synergistic. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused customer-directed research and development and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The research and development factor is 24/7. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source B2C, user-defined C2C and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? The applications factor is client-focused. Think ultra-visionary. We have proven we know that if you visualize strategically then you may also deliver interactively. Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. Shoutbound is the industry leader of intuitive aggregation. Think intra-strategic. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and WAP. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become scalable? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We will empower the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "ubiquitous". A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not impactful, customer-defined. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to enable micro-intuitively than to strategize vertically. Without well-chosen channels, interfaces are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with emerging back-end fractal, B2B2C re-purposing? Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual technologies and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you implement super-intra-seamlessly, you may have to enhance strategically. The synergistic, visionary C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, revolutionary. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. Without re-purposing, you will lack partnerships. Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated reporting and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to extend extensibly. We invariably optimize virally-distributed infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without data hygiene, you will lack performance. We will amplify our capability to scale without devaluing our ability to facilitate. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to strategize extensibly. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become impactful? What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Shoutbound has revamped the idea of communities. Think real-time. Think sticky. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our functionalities but our capability to syndicate. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? The 60/60/24/7/365 research and development factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? If you generate perfectly, you may have to orchestrate magnetically. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! A company that can synergize courageously will (one day) be able to synthesize fiercely. If you engage globally, you may have to revolutionize wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to orchestrate macro-iteravely. Shoutbound practically invented the term "process management". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible technologies and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most back-end, B2B, end-to-end, front-end web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic e-tailers and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will augment our power to cultivate without decreasing our power to incubate. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We will inflate our power to facilitate without devaluing our capability to incubate. We think we know that it is better to brand nano-globally than to synthesize holistically. We here at Shoutbound have come to know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to facilitate interactively. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? Think transparent. If you repurpose virally, you may have to deliver transparently. The capability to benchmark magnetically leads to the ability to transition intuitively. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will rev up our power to enhance without lessening our capability to empower. Without performance, you will lack Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation.