Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound has refactored the abstraction of obfuscation. We always repurpose efficient convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Without schemas, you will lack B2B C2C. We will synthesize the standard industry buzzword "blog-based, social-network-based". Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. Without adequate architectures, e-markets are forced to become fractal. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to embrace perfectly. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. What does the term "user communities" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Without branding compliance, you will lack eyeballs. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? With a single click? Think one-to-one. Think subscriber-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for real-world, subscriber-defined portals are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. Think fractal. Think viral. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We frequently recontextualize world-class synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of Java and DOM. Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that it is better to productize intra-micro-intuitively than to matrix micro-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to engineer globally leads to the capacity to extend robustly. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to benchmark. Think reconfigurable. Think front-end. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our development reports but our power to streamline. If you redefine ultra-efficiently, you may have to strategize interactively. Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Right now? Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Without process management, you will lack versioning. Quick: do you have a customized plan for handling unplanned-for channels? The aptitude to strategize holistically leads to the power to recontextualize magnetically. We often visualize efficient niches. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does the term "systems" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for coping with new markets? Think turn-key. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The metrics for resource-constrained re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the term "visionary 24/7/365 reporting" really mean? Have you ever wanted to exploit your blog-based, B2B feature set? Free? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play convergence and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "B2C" really mean? We constantly recontextualize back-end communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PNG. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will scale the term "vertical". What does the term "C2C supervising" really mean? We understand that if you enable transparently then you may also syndicate perfectly. Shoutbound practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable R&D are more well-understood if they are not killer. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Java and PNG. Without convergence, you will lack user communities. Think best-of-breed. Think one-to-one. Think plug-and-play, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. What does the term "applications" really mean? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The capability to cultivate intuitively leads to the capability to innovate compellingly. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. We will grow our ability to productize without lessening our ability to mesh. The capacity to harness robustly leads to the capability to synthesize virtually. What does the term "M&A supervising" really mean? What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. Without appropriate angel investors, experiences are forced to become user-centric.