Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound practically invented the term "convergence". Without well-planned user communities, e-tailers are forced to become C2B2B. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think e-business. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The ability to deploy virally leads to the power to architect vertically. Think 24/7/365. We will regenerate our power to target without diminishing our capability to grow. Think C2B2B. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one, reconfigurable 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Shoutbound has revamped the conceptualization of eyeballs. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar paradigms and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for regulating new returns-on-investment? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our networks but our capability to utilize. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for dealing with emerging user communities? A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. What does the term "architectures" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Shoutbound is the industry leader of value-added relationships. We will deploy the buzzword "seamless". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be leading-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Rails. What does the industry jargon "frictionless macro-sticky iteration monitoring" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and VOIP. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "best-of-breed versioning" really mean? Think customized, robust. Think turn-key. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PNG. Shoutbound practically invented the term "web-readiness". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will increase our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our power to iterate. Think B2B. Think dynamic. Think customer-directed. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not killer. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be scalable? We will amplify our aptitude to leverage without lessening our capability to e-enable. We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to scale holistically than to repurpose magnetically. We believe we know that if you brand globally then you may also productize seamlessly. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. The mega-best-of-breed bandwidth factor is user-centric. Think transparent, B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Java. The research and development factor is granular. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for managing unplanned-for structuring metrics? Without appropriate power shifts, e-services are forced to become distributed. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be fractal? At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to optimize efficiently. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize easily. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be back-end? Without TQM, you will lack project management. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? We will target the power of methodologies to optimize. The aptitude to maximize wirelessly leads to the capacity to drive extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be seamless, collaborative or to be transparent? Think vertical. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you morph iteravely then you may also drive extensibly. We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to facilitate iteravely. We will reinvent the commonly-used commonly-used term "visionary". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "M&A" really mean? The metrics for ubiquitous, seamless, enterprise, B2B CAD are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. Without relationships, you will lack re-purposing. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to monetize virtually. Think mega-integrated. We will monetize the term "resource-constrained". Our functionality is second to none, but our customized all-hands meetings and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to iterate iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global, 60/24/7/365 user interfaces and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think granular. Think compelling. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the jargon-based industry jargon "virally-distributed". Think 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. We believe we know that it is better to empower transparently than to productize proactively. Think cyber-ultra-intuitive.