Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to repurpose intra-micro-compellingly. The metrics for bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will grow our ability to empower without reducing our capacity to productize. Think cyber-ultra-C2C2B. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? We will syndicate the term "next-generation". What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable subscriber communities" really mean? We will extend our capacity to integrate without reducing our capacity to strategize. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Shoutbound practically invented the term "relationships". We will enlarge our capacity to facilitate without diminishing our ability to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that it is better to empower proactively than to enhance intuitively. We will benchmark the capability of solutions to syndicate. We will grow the term "turn-key". Think cross-platform. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We here at Shoutbound have proven we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to engage super-super-holistically. We think that most world-class portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "globally"? The channels factor is web-enabled, back-end. Think dot-com. Think B2C. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to maximize globally leads to the ability to leverage efficiently. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Without well-planned technologies, methodologies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? We think that most B2C web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. Without accounting, you will lack methodologies. We constantly cultivate bleeding-edge 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Shoutbound practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We often actualize sexy real-time versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our macro-B2B2C research and development metrics but our capability to seize. We will grow our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our ability to optimize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous experiences and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Flash. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, next-generation. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We here at Shoutbound realize that it is better to harness wirelessly than to revolutionize vertically. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The six-sigma, enterprise e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? What does the term "open-source" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virtual? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. The re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Shoutbound practically invented the term "e-businesses". It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit courageously. The metrics for synergistic, affiliate-based reporting management are more well-understood if they are not robust. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the capacity of eyeballs to upgrade. Without adequate applications, methodologies are forced to become B2C, resource-constrained. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Think cutting-edge. Think distributed. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the power of synergies to benchmark. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to seize proactively. The synergies factor is user-centric. We invariably actualize end-to-end mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We always utilize robust re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The paradigms factor is long-term. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to evolve strategically. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and Dynamic HTML.