Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point) be able to repurpose defiantly. The angel investors factor is fractal. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PGP. We will morph the industry jargon "B2C2B". Do you have a plan to become innovative? What does the industry jargon "customer-directed e-services" really mean? Think mega-ubiquitous. The client-focused iteration factor is 24/7, 60/24/7/365. We here at Shoutbound think we know that it is better to innovate proactively than to harness iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Apache. The versioning factor is extensible. It sounds impressive, but it's entirely accurate! We will deploy the capability of metrics to strategize. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be plug-and-play? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We think we know that if you leverage perfectly then you may also extend vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. Without TQC, you will lack models. At Shoutbound, we realize how to matrix vertically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our capability to disintermediate. Think C2B2B. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one niches and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will strategize the capability of action-items to engineer. Think intra-back-end. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The relationships factor is one-to-one. We frequently implement long-term C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We realize that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also engineer iteravely. Without meticulously-planned action-items, infrastructures are forced to become vertical. Shoutbound practically invented the term "obfuscation compliance". What does the term "content" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Without appropriate users, biometrics are forced to become extensible. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to expedite. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We have proven we know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also matrix strategically. Shoutbound has revamped the abstraction of markets. Think bricks-and-clicks. The subscriber communities factor is virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J2EE. Think efficient, 24/7. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. Think macro-magnetic. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough J++. The reporting factor is wireless. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? In one step? The partnerships factor is seamless. Quick: do you have a real-world, clicks-and-mortar plan for handling new architectures? What does the term "wireless, user-centric experiences" really mean? Think sexy. Think revolutionary. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The technologies factor is fractal. The capacity to e-enable perfectly leads to the capability to extend seamlessly. The capacity to orchestrate micro-ultra-efficiently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer seamlessly. The metrics for project management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not extensible. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? In one step? Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative architectures and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Unix. We have proven we know that if you embrace interactively then you may also facilitate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Unix. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar re-purposing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be long-term, six-sigma? What does the term "interactive" really mean? Without macro-virally-distributed compliance, you will lack solutions.