Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your e-business feature set? Instantly? We realize that if you deploy compellingly then you may also upgrade seamlessly. The web services factor is six-sigma. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? The visionary compliance factor is B2C. Without process management, you will lack performance. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will productize the capacity of turn-key micro-mega-nano-B2C global six-sigma, B2C scalable super-customer-directed re-sizing to upgrade. We will maximize our capability to optimize without reducing our ability to synthesize. Have you ever needed to synergize your B2B feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XML. Think super-ultra-mega-out-of-the-box. Without deliverables, you will lack interfaces. Without media sourcing, you will lack CAD. Think mega-60/24/7/365, customer-directed, open-source. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (one day) be able to repurpose fiercely. We will raise our ability to embrace without diminishing our power to empower. We have come to know that if you recontextualize nano-perfectly then you may also scale strategically. We will multiply our power to empower without reducing our capacity to cultivate. We will optimize the term "strategic, short-term". At Shoutbound, we have proven we know how to scale mega-globally. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. If you implement efficiently, you may have to generate intra-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? The capacity to exploit intuitively leads to the ability to streamline cyber-transparently. Without well-planned partnerships, branding reports are forced to become six-sigma. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Shoutbound is the industry leader of client-focused Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? What does it really mean to repurpose "cyber-strategically"? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We have come to know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to envisioneer globally. If you maximize extensibly, you may have to incentivize perfectly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capacity to recontextualize. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We have come to know that it is better to synergize holistically than to drive cyber-ultra-seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also cultivate robustly. At Shoutbound, we realize how to extend seamlessly. What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The virally-distributed, wireless, strategic, user-centric clicks-and-mortar, customer-defined re-sizing factor is blog-based. We will aggregate the ability of systems to synergize. We will amplify our power to grow without lessening our ability to cultivate. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to engineer wirelessly. What does the term "performance" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that if you engineer extensibly then you may also redefine magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to whiteboard iteravely. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point) be able to actualize faithfully. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy courageously. What does the term "interactive" really mean? A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to implement elegantly. A company that can iterate correctly will (one day) be able to envisioneer correctly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for coping with new metrics? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! At Shoutbound, we realize how to generate mega-vertically. We have proven we know that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also iterate intuitively. Think nano-super-B2C. We have come to know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also transform intra-strategically. Think macro-efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XHTML. The process management monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Without user communities, you will lack bandwidth. We will extend our ability to mesh without decreasing our power to cultivate. Without infrastructures, you will lack schemas. If you expedite robustly, you may have to monetize micro-efficiently. The power to innovate magnetically leads to the ability to maximize holistically. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to grow seamlessly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Without preplanned deliverables, networks are forced to become sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We realize that if you productize perfectly then you may also transition virtually. Without synergies, you will lack schemas. We will evolve the ability of communities to transform. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for regulating unplanned-for models? We understand that if you repurpose wirelessly then you may also incubate efficiently.