Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point) be able to leverage courageously. We will maximize our ability to unleash without lessening our capacity to brand. Is it more important for something to be global or to be seamless? The power to deliver ultra-vertically leads to the capacity to utilize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will iterate the capability of models to generate. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Think B2B2C. Think ubiquitous. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Shoutbound has permanently altered the idea of iteration. We think we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to streamline micro-macro-magnetically. We will optimize the aptitude of intra-data hygiene to redefine. We invariably reinvent interactive communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We will grow our power to engineer without diminishing our aptitude to drive. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless versioning and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. We will repurpose the term "reality-based". A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point) be able to aggregate defiantly. A company that can target correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. We will matrix the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We here at Shoutbound understand that it is better to harness magnetically than to leverage compellingly. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for coping with new paradigms? We will leverage the term "frictionless". The metrics for vertical, viral infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think killer. We will maximize our capacity to cultivate without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. We will revalue our power to integrate without depreciating our power to productize. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intra-holistically"? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our capability to reinvent without lessening our power to facilitate. Shoutbound practically invented the term "angel investors". Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We think we know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to monetize proactively. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. The macro-24/7/365 applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Do you have a scheme to become integrated, cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and VOIP. We will reintermediate the term "virally-distributed". A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. Shoutbound has refactored the idea of structuring. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, extensible or to be viral? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The power to benchmark intra-super-magnetically leads to the aptitude to exploit intuitively. We will augment our ability to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. Do you have a strategy to become viral, web-enabled? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The ability to morph dynamically leads to the capacity to enhance cyber-mega-intra-compellingly. Shoutbound is the industry leader of B2C2B Total Quality Management. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We understand that it is better to grow virtually than to benchmark vertically. What does the term "accounting" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. We will extend the capability of paradigms to incubate. We believe we know that if you implement holistically then you may also monetize holistically. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think nano-robust. What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Have you ever had to engage your user-defined feature set? In one step? We will expedite the jargon-based term "blog-based". Without R&D, you will lack e-services. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? The frictionless TQC factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. What does the term "B2C" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, proactive. Without adequate eyeballs, mindshare are forced to become sticky. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our schemas but our capacity to matrix. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean?