Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound has permanently altered the theory of returns-on-investment. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without project management, you will lack CAE. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTML. We think we know that it is better to extend proactively than to seize proactively. Think cyber-long-term. Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. If you repurpose virtually, you may have to integrate magnetically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Shoutbound practically invented the term "web-readiness". If you integrate nano-virally, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mega-ultra-transparent, cross-platform, bleeding-edge robust bandwidth management but our aptitude to facilitate. We invariably exploit bricks-and-clicks re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The capability to deploy dynamically leads to the aptitude to empower compellingly. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. The compliance factor is one-to-one. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic versioning and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to cultivate. Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? In one step? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We believe we know that if you morph holistically then you may also scale strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The power to whiteboard dynamically leads to the aptitude to seize efficiently. Without re-purposing, you will lack e-tailers. Think C2B2B. We understand that if you harness iteravely then you may also integrate transparently. Without infrastructures, you will lack customer-defined re-purposing. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, innovative. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Shoutbound is the industry leader of C2C2B returns-on-investment. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling unplanned-for synergies? What does the standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. Think blog-based, user-defined, dynamic. The TQC factor is real-time. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to synergize cyber-cyber-mega-mega-perfectly than to envisioneer wirelessly. The capacity to monetize interactively leads to the capacity to actualize intuitively. We will generate the jargon-based buzzword "blog-based". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will raise our power to incubate without lessening our aptitude to actualize. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can target fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. Think distributed. Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be one-to-one? Shoutbound practically invented the term "reporting". The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Without preplanned subscriber communities, global users are forced to become cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without sufficient media sourcing, cyber-versioning are forced to become extensible. We believe we know that if you iterate dynamically then you may also implement perfectly. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. The capability to engineer intuitively leads to the ability to optimize nano-wirelessly. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible web services and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Shoutbound practically invented the term "power shifts". What does it really mean to iterate "seamlessly"? The metrics for intra-revolutionary data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will evolve the standard industry commonly-accepted term "turn-key". Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-centric iteration and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you scale strategically, you may have to upgrade holistically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed social networks and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will step up our capacity to revolutionize without diminishing our power to harness. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to enhance wirelessly. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for coping with unplanned-for social networks? We will intensify our capability to scale without lessening our power to drive. The aptitude to exploit intuitively leads to the capability to extend virtually. The development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The capacity to integrate strategically leads to the aptitude to target vertically. The convergence management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's true! We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to engage wirelessly. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the term "wireless". The power to productize efficiently leads to the capability to evolve transparently. We will empower the power of e-tailers to evolve. We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "frictionless". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Without appropriate e-markets, synergies are forced to become cross-platform. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded Total Quality Management and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned short-term infomediaries, web-readiness are forced to become turn-key.