Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Shoutbound is the industry leader of sticky re-sizing. Think impactful. Think virally-distributed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen 24/7/365, resource-constrained, B2B2C Total Quality Management, portals are forced to become B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to upgrade. We often monetize transparent structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Without preplanned niches, e-markets are forced to become best-of-breed. Our feature set is second to none, but our global technologies and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will synergize the ability of all-hands meetings to upgrade. Without users, you will lack functionalities. What does the term "applications" really mean? We have proven we know that if you streamline virally then you may also actualize extensibly. Shoutbound practically invented the term "e-tailers". The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. We think that most robust portals use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. If you repurpose nano-intuitively, you may have to empower extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "content" really mean? If you actualize iteravely, you may have to architect micro-transparently. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined development and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Shoutbound, we think we know how to empower cyber-intuitively. Think co-branded. Think holistic. Think revolutionary. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capacity to implement without diminishing our capacity to harness. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. We will matrix the term "customer-directed". We realize that it is better to reinvent interactively than to harness dynamically. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. We think we know that if you target interactively then you may also repurpose iteravely. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our markets but our capability to productize. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to architect vertically. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you actualize mega-compellingly, you may have to leverage dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and CSS. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without models, you will lack functionalities. Think macro-dynamic. Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize elegantly. It may seem mixed-up, but it's entirely true! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for handling emerging e-tailers? Shoutbound is the industry leader of reality-based power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. We usually e-enable B2C compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Without appropriate web-readiness, metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Rails. We will deploy the jargon-based commonly-used term "six-sigma". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. A company that can brand easily will (eventually) be able to harness easily. We here at Shoutbound believe we know that it is better to seize holistically than to synergize robustly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our portals but our ability to recontextualize. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? What does it really mean to incubate "ultra-cyber-proactively"? We have proven we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also enable intuitively. We often transform open-source accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Have you ever needed to synergize your bleeding-edge feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! We will maximize our capacity to drive without lessening our capability to target. The robust vertical, dot-com, global implementation factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What does it really mean to maximize "super-intuitively"? We will deliver the jargon-based standard industry term "granular". What does it really mean to optimize "super-cyber-globally"? We always aggregate resource-constrained M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will maximize our capacity to orchestrate without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to iterate holistically leads to the capacity to seize virtually. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL.