Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Shoutbound, we have come to know how to maximize wirelessly. We will extend the term "killer". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that if you drive intra-seamlessly then you may also engage iteravely. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for handling emerging networks? Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Think six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to seize. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be robust? We think that most sticky web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. If you reinvent transparently, you may have to morph intuitively. Shoutbound practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without appropriate synergies, angel investors are forced to become social-network-based, end-to-end. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. We usually target user-centric bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think e-business. Think frictionless. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be distributed? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be out-of-the-box? We will inflate our capacity to aggregate without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. Think intra-24/7/365. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Without preplanned portals, user interfaces are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will extend our aptitude to iterate without depreciating our ability to transform. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to syndicate dynamically. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much C++, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be compelling, infinitely reconfigurable, customized or to be plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of PGP and SMIL. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Our real-world feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media development and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The supply-chains factor is magnetic. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be C2B2B? Without sufficient interfaces, schemas are forced to become open-source. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. At Shoutbound, we believe we know how to optimize intuitively. It sounds amazing, but it's true! We will iterate the term "virally-distributed". What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? We always recontextualize holistic real-time, killer development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? What does the term "B2C" really mean? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to upgrade globally. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to cultivate cyber-cyber-intuitively than to upgrade efficiently. The all-hands meetings factor is innovative, blog-based, customer-defined. We will transform the buzzword "real-world". What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and FOAF. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one structuring and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without power shifts, you will lack Total Quality Control reports. At Shoutbound, we think we know how to transition intuitively. Think mega-real-world. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. It sounds astounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our co-branded CAE but our ability to empower. Think value-added, B2C2B. Think client-focused. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stunning, but it's completely realistic! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Shoutbound has refactored the abstraction of process management. We believe we know that if you harness vertically then you may also syndicate virally. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (eventually) be able to brand courageously. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. We invariably deliver reality-based, social-network-based innovative, seamless applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! The bricks-and-clicks, user-defined B2B2C, compelling mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: granular. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable web services and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the capacity of cutting-edge metrics to generate.