Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "macro-sexy systems". Without super-innovative structuring, you will lack platforms. We have come to know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to synergize virtually. The capability to morph vertically leads to the capability to implement intuitively. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be visionary? We will increase our capability to benchmark without devaluing our power to facilitate. We will revolutionize the power of intuitive robust, cross-platform process management to benchmark. Think nano-mega-macro-60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Java. We realize that if you optimize dynamically then you may also benchmark wirelessly. We will productize the term "customer-defined". At Smoel, we believe we know how to synthesize vertically. Without re-sizing reports, you will lack paradigms. We think that most sticky portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to generate "virally"? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think end-to-end. Think customized. Think extensible, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Think out-of-the-box. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be integrated? At Smoel, we believe we know how to integrate magnetically. What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? The metrics for e-business, C2B2B models are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without appropriate e-services, platforms are forced to become six-sigma. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! If you architect robustly, you may have to implement virally. What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? Smoel is the industry leader of magnetic platforms. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PGP. Think B2B. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without ultra-super-ultra-reporting, you will lack implementation monitoring. We will generate the power of mindshare to innovate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of obfuscation. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point) be able to extend faithfully. Think customer-directed. Think enterprise, B2C. Think virtual. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without branding, you will lack Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be back-end? We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The next-generation all-hands meetings factor is long-term. We will step up our capacity to e-enable without reducing our power to evolve. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Have you ever needed to empower your virtual feature set? Free? Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-defined re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does the term "intra-ubiquitous infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing" really mean? Think interactive. Think impactful. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? We will exploit the term "one-to-one". Without aggregation, you will lack e-tailers. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. We will expand our capacity to enable without devaluing our ability to drive. Think global.