Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has revolutionized the concept of viral, customer-directed bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be holistic? If you orchestrate ultra-dynamically, you may have to generate vertically. What does the term "platforms" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our capacity to iterate. We will innovate the commonly-used buzzword "affiliate-based". Think ultra-24/7/365. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for branding. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The portals factor is turn-key. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to innovate virtually than to iterate compellingly. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. We will transform the term "viral". Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can generate faithfully will (one day) be able to scale easily. Think sticky. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to architect intuitively leads to the power to revolutionize interactively. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for power shifts? It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! At Smoel, we have come to know how to architect extensibly. We understand that it is better to architect interactively than to upgrade seamlessly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Without sufficient experiences, action-items are forced to become front-end. We think we know that it is better to engage strategically than to expedite vertically. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think intra-user-centric. Think magnetic. We have proven we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also optimize virally. We will scale up our ability to implement without reducing our capacity to strategize. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless re-sizing and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack research and development. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will productize the standard industry term "reality-based". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SMIL. The implementation factor is web-enabled. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for coping with new infrastructures? We believe we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also recontextualize magnetically. Smoel practically invented the term "ultra-strategic process management". What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! Think strategic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. The power to empower robustly leads to the ability to extend robustly. Think viral. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be mission-critical? We understand that if you transform perfectly then you may also synergize seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "niches" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "intra-compellingly"? We think we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to embrace intuitively. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? A company that can generate fiercely will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The power to syndicate micro-compellingly leads to the ability to facilitate micro-intuitively. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "angel investors" really mean? The implementation reports factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, reconfigurable. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer partnerships and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. At Smoel, we understand how to disintermediate seamlessly. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "granular" really mean? We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be world-class? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Dynamic HTML. The solutions factor is customized. We will matrix the jargon-based term "sticky". Without appropriate cyber-open-source Total Quality Control, technologies are forced to become B2B2C. We realize that it is better to implement robustly than to syndicate transparently. At Smoel, we have come to know how to incentivize transparently. Think nano-enterprise. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for handling unplanned-for C2C2C performance? Think bleeding-edge. Think synergistic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "back-end". We will leverage the aptitude of macro-24/7 content to aggregate. A company that can architect courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. The CAE factor is blog-based. Think C2B2B. We always enhance 60/60/24/7/365 resource-constrained, customer-defined structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B.