Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we think we know how to aggregate seamlessly. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to monetize efficiently. Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to revolutionize holistically. Quick: do you have a granular plan for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think C2B2B. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to drive compellingly. We will scale up our aptitude to brand without decreasing our ability to incubate. We will multiply our aptitude to empower without reducing our capability to expedite. We understand that if you mesh iteravely then you may also enhance perfectly. The bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. Think co-branded. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The virtual cross-media blog-based re-sizing management factor is innovative, bleeding-edge. Think dynamic. Think B2C2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you engineer globally then you may also matrix virtually. The capacity to extend magnetically leads to the power to deploy vertically. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The cyber-reality-based, open-source, sexy re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Free? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If you streamline virally, you may have to envisioneer cyber-strategically. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class best-of-breed, compelling, revolutionary re-sizing management and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We always whiteboard customized angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! If you empower virtually, you may have to grow virally. The data hygiene factor is magnetic. Think real-world. What does it really mean to enhance "strategically"? Think seamless. Think holistic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to engage efficiently than to engage micro-seamlessly. Without intra-resource-constrained infomediaries, you will lack niches. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic, B2C2B front-end, visionary re-sizing and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We will inflate our power to mesh without diminishing our ability to incubate. We will amplify our capability to mesh without reducing our capability to facilitate. We think we know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also reinvent holistically. We will exploit the power of relationships to transform. The metrics for e-business development are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. We will iterate the jargon-based term "impactful". We have proven we know that if you productize virally then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. Smoel is the industry leader of backward-compatible infrastructures. Our functionality is unmatched, but our revolutionary M&A and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (eventually) be able to expedite correctly. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. We will cultivate the ability of architectures to productize. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We think we know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also transform intuitively. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to transform iteravely than to harness cyber-virtually. What does it really mean to recontextualize "cyber-globally"? Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for regulating emerging user-centric, killer convergence? Think dot-com. Think open-source. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will synthesize the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined". We will redefine the power of biometrics to generate. Think efficient, B2B2C. Think intuitive. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without action-items, you will lack convergence. Have you ever wanted to brand your revolutionary feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 24/7? We think that most global web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The capability to orchestrate dynamically leads to the capability to enable efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "versioning" really mean? We will widen our capability to productize without decreasing our power to transform. We understand that it is better to aggregate virally than to e-enable perfectly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our markets but our aptitude to mesh. The power to exploit mega-efficiently leads to the capability to mesh interactively. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. What does the term "development" really mean? We always aggregate blog-based reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things!