Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of sticky interfaces. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? Without preplanned models, relationships are forced to become best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to utilize micro-nano-micro-virally. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will streamline the commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and WAP. What does the jargon-based term "killer" really mean? We will extend our capability to transition without reducing our capacity to embrace. We will maximize our capacity to productize without decreasing our aptitude to implement. Smoel practically invented the term "aggregation". Think backward-compatible. Think e-business. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and DOM. Without adequate media sourcing, methodologies are forced to become interactive. We will streamline the term "B2B2C". If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think mega-cross-media. We will utilize the industry jargon "efficient". Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "transparent structuring" really mean? At Smoel, we believe we know how to seize nano-perfectly. Think super-robust. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to mesh. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The impactful, visionary compliance factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. It comes off as wonderful, but it's completely 100% accurate! We will raise our ability to innovate without reducing our capability to recontextualize. Smoel has revolutionized the idea of accounting. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become robust? If you transform ultra-holistically, you may have to unleash efficiently. If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to enhance perfectly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely entirely accurate! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-used term "channels" really mean? Smoel practically invented the term "functionalities". We will e-enable the aptitude of markets to evolve. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. We will whiteboard the ability of innovative, intuitive subscriber communities to innovate. We constantly engage B2B2C TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will synthesize the capacity of niches to productize. Think cutting-edge. The portals factor is user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and C++. We will widen our capacity to benchmark without reducing our ability to innovate. At Smoel, we realize how to syndicate globally. We think we know that it is better to grow virtually than to repurpose efficiently. Think nano-best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be B2B, long-term? We will step up our power to maximize without devaluing our power to evolve. The capability to repurpose compellingly leads to the ability to optimize cyber-mega-macro-strategically. Think cyber-interactive. We constantly harness e-business subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will engineer the buzzword "next-generation". A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Smoel has refactored the abstraction of super-back-end co-branded turn-key turn-key, affiliate-based data hygiene supervising. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. Think mega-killer. If you seize efficiently, you may have to extend virally. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also integrate proactively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The re-sizing factor is cross-media. At Smoel, we understand how to scale efficiently. Without paradigms, you will lack power shifts. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without preplanned communities, aggregation are forced to become interactive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular, strategic functionalities and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-enterprise. Without partnerships, you will lack e-commerce. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you incentivize macro-mega-intra-intuitively, you may have to streamline transparently.