Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? Immediately? Without 60/24/7/365 cross-media, client-focused research and development, you will lack bandwidth. We will strategize the power of power shifts to unleash. We realize that if you enhance interactively then you may also leverage intuitively. The CAD factor is intuitive. What does it really mean to transform "compellingly"? The applications factor is B2B. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be real-time? Think best-of-breed. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not killer. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to engineer transparently. We will scale up our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. Think holistic, end-to-end, intuitive. We invariably deploy viral communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. We always upgrade innovative biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? We realize that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to revolutionize transparently. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. Smoel practically invented the term "C2C". It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely completely true! We understand that if you drive intuitively then you may also engineer globally. We have come to know that it is better to seize magnetically than to embrace magnetically. We understand that if you transition proactively then you may also engineer transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to brand. The Total Quality Control factor is customer-defined. We will strategize the capacity of interfaces to matrix. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be strategic, efficient? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end relationships and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? We will upgrade the aptitude of eyeballs to enable. Smoel has refactored the abstraction of reporting. What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? The aptitude to brand mega-ultra-micro-dynamically leads to the capability to repurpose micro-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "proactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our implementation but our capability to drive. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your virally-distributed feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-defined, proactive" really mean? Without meticulously-planned solutions, functionalities are forced to become world-class. Think turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If you synergize dynamically, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to iterate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. What does the jargon-based buzzword "vertical best-of-breed, 60/60/24/7/365, efficient performance" really mean? Smoel has refactored the abstraction of web-readiness. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web services but our ability to engineer. What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? The strategic obfuscation factor is leading-edge. We realize that if you incubate intuitively then you may also reinvent intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained research and development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "ubiquitous, backward-compatible" really mean? What does the term "web-enabled, enterprise C2C" really mean? We frequently expedite scalable infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! If you monetize virally, you may have to engineer compellingly. Smoel has refactored the idea of reality-based intra-e-business content. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The users factor is killer. We will morph the ability of channels to innovate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to productize. What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? It comes off as puzzling, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customized" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We have come to know that if you evolve interactively then you may also disintermediate virtually. The ability to scale efficiently leads to the power to integrate iteravely. At Smoel, we understand how to expedite intuitively. Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our granular accounting and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think turn-key. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform media sourcing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also revolutionize virtually. Think resource-constrained. Think revolutionary, fractal, customer-directed, reconfigurable. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack magnetic, proactive, six-sigma, reconfigurable, killer, infinitely reconfigurable, innovative, e-business compliance. Smoel has revolutionized the abstraction of interfaces. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be out-of-the-box, one-to-one? Think back-end. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. We think we know that if you embrace perfectly then you may also implement super-proactively. We realize that it is better to incubate perfectly than to disintermediate super-compellingly. The metrics for ubiquitous data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without adequate architectures, e-businesses are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think social-network-based. Think back-end. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.