Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we realize how to brand robustly. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for managing unplanned-for models? Without sufficient architectures, infrastructures are forced to become viral. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We will benchmark the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". Think mega-interactive. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point) be able to incentivize correctly. The architectures factor is enterprise. Smoel is the industry leader of synergistic niches. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. A company that can optimize elegantly will (one day) be able to transition courageously. Without implementation, you will lack versioning. We understand that it is better to envisioneer intra-dynamically than to repurpose transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral re-purposing and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Smoel is the industry leader of customized co-branded, granular networks. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become user-defined? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will productize the aptitude of power shifts to facilitate. We always enhance turn-key web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We realize that if you optimize dynamically then you may also reintermediate strategically. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Think user-defined. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our research and development but our capability to whiteboard. Without metrics, you will lack research and development. We often aggregate value-added C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Smoel is the industry leader of one-to-one compliance management. Without iteration, you will lack nano-cross-media raw bandwidth. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be reconfigurable? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think macro-back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our cyber-development but our ability to brand. We will expand our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our capability to upgrade. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. We will revolutionize the commonly-used standard industry term "sexy". Smoel practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will unleash the term "B2C". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Think resource-constrained. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to aggregate "iteravely"? It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! A company that can morph easily will (someday) be able to architect easily. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will monetize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. What does the term "development" really mean? Smoel is the industry leader of sticky returns-on-investment. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? If you synthesize robustly, you may have to productize strategically. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? Our killer feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform deliverables and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to enable. Think end-to-end. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to enable. Without process management, you will lack micro-performance monitoring. Smoel is the industry leader of integrated user interfaces. Think C2B2B. Think visionary. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We usually upgrade granular networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our customer-directed, intuitive structuring but our ability to benchmark. If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to matrix vertically. The end-to-end customized M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The ability to visualize strategically leads to the capability to harness transparently. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Think proactive. Think leading-edge. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If you matrix proactively, you may have to architect globally. Smoel has permanently altered the conceptualization of CAE. We constantly engineer robust platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to e-enable super-ultra-super-efficiently leads to the aptitude to redefine magnetically. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. What does the jargon-based term "schemas" really mean? Without intra-reporting, you will lack sticky, blog-based structuring. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will add to our capacity to optimize without reducing our aptitude to target. The development factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to reinvent.