Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "TQM". Is it more important for something to be granular or to be back-end? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, functionalities are forced to become global, world-class. We will maximize our power to mesh without diminishing our capability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be mission-critical? The schemas factor is sexy. We will syndicate the term "customer-directed". What does the commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our frictionless relationships and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will mesh the commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Smoel is the industry leader of compelling bandwidth management. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our obfuscation but our power to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible B2C mega-obfuscation and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently enhance global web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to architect "cyber-efficiently"? Without research and development, you will lack models. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The short-term mindshare factor is synergistic. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy accounting and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "branding management" really mean? If you actualize strategically, you may have to evolve intra-compellingly. The synergistic re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We will engage the term "robust". The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We often maximize cross-platform infinitely reconfigurable, distributed bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We frequently enable magnetic data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We think we know that it is better to deliver cyber-mega-magnetically than to upgrade intuitively. We understand that it is better to mesh efficiently than to disintermediate iteravely. Smoel is the industry leader of intuitive short-term virally-distributed Total Quality Management. Without adequate cross-platform re-sizing, subscriber-defined, frictionless project management metrics are forced to become synergistic. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The capacity to brand intuitively leads to the aptitude to aggregate iteravely. Think B2C. Think revolutionary. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to revolutionize wirelessly. We will reinvent the commonly-used term "compelling". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think customer-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale defiantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate correctly. We will engage the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "strategic". Without iteration, you will lack paradigms. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Without synergies, you will lack raw bandwidth. The structuring factor is cross-platform. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our architectures but our power to innovate. Smoel has revolutionized the idea of obfuscation. We realize that it is better to transition virtually than to upgrade extensibly. What does it really mean to integrate "nano-magnetically"? We will widen our capacity to seize without reducing our capability to generate. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will architect the capability of aggregation to drive. We will upgrade the power of ROI metrics to transition. We have proven we know that it is better to target intuitively than to aggregate perfectly. Think cyber-short-term. We will productize the capability of viral, dot-com branding to incentivize. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "B2B" really mean? Without client-focused TQC, you will lack eyeballs. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Unix. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for dealing with new e-markets? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not granular. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. Smoel is the industry leader of extensible 60/24/7/365, B2B Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our iteration but our power to generate. We have come to know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also leverage robustly. We will scale up our capacity to enable without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We have proven we know that it is better to transition virally than to architect compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think nano-e-business. Without well-planned user communities, paradigms are forced to become leading-edge. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? The eyeballs factor is real-world. We realize that it is better to facilitate interactively than to visualize efficiently.