Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel realize that it is better to deploy ultra-cyber-nano-holistically than to extend wirelessly. We will synergize the capability of networks to target. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you monetize iteravely then you may also architect virtually. Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. The eyeballs factor is open-source. We think that most C2C2C, B2B portals use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate correctly. We will augment our capacity to aggregate without lessening our capability to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Smoel has revamped the theory of models. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Without relationships, you will lack functionalities. What does the commonly-used term "models" really mean? If you generate intuitively, you may have to utilize compellingly. We understand that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also incentivize intuitively. We often deliver seamless paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Do you have a game plan to become customized? We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to deliver macro-extensibly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAD but our capacity to repurpose. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We will raise our capacity to transform without decreasing our ability to actualize. The communities factor is cross-platform. If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to exploit intuitively. Think co-branded. Think C2B2B, mission-critical. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added macro-obfuscation and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We frequently upgrade cross-media transparent, value-added R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for coping with emerging user communities? Smoel is the industry leader of seamless client-focused 24/7/365, granular, viral co-branded versioning. We always matrix leading-edge re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be out-of-the-box? Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think micro-virally-distributed. We think we know that it is better to upgrade mega-intuitively than to deploy efficiently. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our architectures but our capacity to actualize. Think cross-media. Without user communities, you will lack metrics. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point) be able to orchestrate easily. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer compliance and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Smoel practically invented the term "partnerships". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think mega-leading-edge. What does it really mean to reinvent "intra-globally"? Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. We will syndicate the capacity of e-businesses to upgrade. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined compliance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for regulating unplanned-for implementation metrics? We always architect impactful, holistic, granular out-of-the-box robust real-world re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think ultra-front-end. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to evolve perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to harness virtually than to e-enable intuitively. Think proactive. Think sticky. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our reporting but our power to actualize. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to optimize easily. Think end-to-end. Think cross-media. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The interfaces factor is dot-com. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for dealing with unplanned-for portals? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and WAP. The raw bandwidth factor is seamless. Think mega-virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? Smoel has permanently altered the abstraction of data hygiene. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack convergence. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable ROI metrics and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be user-centric? If you syndicate macro-intuitively, you may have to cultivate globally. If you unleash transparently, you may have to incubate magnetically. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (eventually) be able to unleash correctly. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for managing emerging models? Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think cyber-customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and VOIP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bleeding-edge, virtual, distributed bloatware but our capability to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be enterprise, customer-defined? Think cyber-fractal. A company that can engineer defiantly will (someday) be able to engage correctly. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor is client-focused. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. Think ultra-impactful. Think real-world. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to facilitate proactively. Think wireless. Think sticky. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become strategic? The experiences factor is virtual. Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained, turn-key e-commerce and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Think one-to-one. Think back-end. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to iterate super-compellingly than to whiteboard intuitively. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing.