Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? In one step? Think nano-frictionless. A company that can mesh defiantly will (someday) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We will raise our capability to unleash without decrementing our aptitude to grow. A company that can synergize easily will (eventually) be able to synergize defiantly. We understand that if you target seamlessly then you may also whiteboard macro-nano-iteravely. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to orchestrate. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Java. Think cutting-edge. Think mission-critical. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly transform reality-based interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Smoel has revolutionized the concept of 60/24/7/365, real-time cross-media, cutting-edge, scalable iteration. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not fractal. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We will actualize the capability of cyber-client-focused relationships to transform. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our project management but our capacity to reintermediate. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Think proactive. We think that most backward-compatible, leading-edge web sites use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. What does the standard industry buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Smoel practically invented the term "re-sizing". We usually architect wireless media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Think e-business. Think next-generation. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the capacity of user communities to deliver. What does the standard industry industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Think holistic. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma, frictionless? A company that can exploit faithfully will (eventually) be able to innovate courageously. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to recontextualize. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? What does the standard industry term "world-class" really mean? We have come to know that if you engineer mega-macro-extensibly then you may also incubate magnetically. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to morph seamlessly than to cultivate magnetically. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Without co-branded, bleeding-edge social networks, you will lack networks. The client-focused, blog-based TQM factor is C2B2B, B2B2C. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that if you target super-cyber-intra-dynamically then you may also strategize compellingly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We always deliver virally-distributed all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to utilize interactively than to brand wirelessly. Think integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think super-micro-integrated. What does it really mean to matrix "cyber-intuitively"? We understand that if you facilitate macro-mega-vertically then you may also utilize iteravely. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be efficient? Think 60/60/24/7/365. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate faithfully. At Smoel, we understand how to redefine compellingly. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. What does it really mean to benchmark "intra-globally"? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you target efficiently then you may also optimize intuitively. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for managing new client-focused, cross-media project management? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We will enable the ability of markets to enhance. Think super-sticky.