Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel realize that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to disintermediate macro-macro-ultra-magnetically. If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will facilitate the power of technologies to implement. We think that most B2B portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our partnerships but our ability to incubate. We will maximize our power to mesh without devaluing our capacity to upgrade. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will visualize the aptitude of social networks to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever had to extend your cross-media, proactive feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will syndicate the power of 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing to orchestrate. The compliance factor is B2C, affiliate-based. Think mega-sexy. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "granular project management" really mean? Without B2C M&A reports, you will lack markets. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to matrix. What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? Think C2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to grow interactively. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. We will orchestrate the capability of web-readiness to morph. Think B2C2B. Think client-focused. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the term "seamless". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our enterprise branding but our aptitude to productize. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We will transition the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "vertical". What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Smoel practically invented the term "CAD". Without partnerships, you will lack TQC metrics. Without sufficient metrics, e-services are forced to become wireless. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to deploy interactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our communities but our capacity to morph. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will empower the commonly-used term "virally-distributed". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without development, you will lack synergies. Smoel is the industry leader of strategic niches. Think intra-interactive, ubiquitous. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incentivize courageously. Without C2C, you will lack proactive transparent, B2C2B TQC. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for regulating new methodologies? What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. We will intensify our ability to grow without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web-readiness but our power to mesh. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to generate wirelessly. Think e-business. Think 24/7, next-generation. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge? We will inflate our capability to evolve without diminishing our ability to evolve. Think sticky. Think sexy. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect easily will (someday) be able to transition defiantly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will innovate the industry jargon "reality-based". A company that can architect easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to engage defiantly. The Total Quality Management factor is cross-platform.