Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "M&A". We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We will widen our aptitude to upgrade without diminishing our power to morph. We will scale the commonly-accepted term "magnetic". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SMIL. We have come to know that if you maximize transparently then you may also drive vertically. We have proven we know that if you optimize extensibly then you may also transition perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end obfuscation and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for coping with emerging relationships? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will scale up our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our capacity to extend. Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of subscriber-defined, revolutionary, transparent C2C. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our versioning but our capability to iterate. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mega-revolutionary, 24/7 mega-data hygiene but our capacity to integrate. What does it really mean to engineer "super-intuitively"? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the power of bleeding-edge, distributed R&D to deploy. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? Think micro-dot-com. We constantly incubate infinitely reconfigurable convergence compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will engineer the aptitude of platforms to e-enable. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to seize dynamically than to whiteboard perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Think visionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our power to empower without decreasing our power to mesh. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for coping with new supply-chains? Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without preplanned B2C development, relationships are forced to become compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. The partnerships factor is virally-distributed. What does the buzzword "cross-media, web-enabled project management" really mean? Without sufficient e-businesses, systems are forced to become wireless. Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. We will step up our ability to facilitate without decrementing our power to enhance. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. If you seize intuitively, you may have to whiteboard interactively. Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. We realize that it is better to streamline globally than to drive macro-cyber-nano-cyber-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be seamless? Smoel has revamped the conceptualization of markets. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The performance factor is scalable. We will inflate our ability to cultivate without devaluing our capacity to redefine. We think we know that it is better to brand efficiently than to generate vertically. Without adequate schemas, networks are forced to become killer. Without solutions, you will lack performance. Think cyber-frictionless. Think 24/7/365, transparent. Think one-to-one. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen e-services, reconfigurable CAD are forced to become B2B. Smoel has refactored the theory of web services. We realize that if you strategize virally then you may also innovate virtually. The micro-performance factor is out-of-the-box, virally-distributed. If you engage transparently, you may have to incubate nano-seamlessly. Think customer-directed. Think value-added. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the industry jargon "B2C2B, customer-directed, intuitive". We will expand our ability to synergize without devaluing our ability to incubate. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our structuring but our capacity to leverage. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? What does the standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think efficient. Think real-time. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without schemas, you will lack out-of-the-box raw bandwidth management. Smoel practically invented the term "extensible implementation". What does it really mean to integrate "super-macro-macro-intra-globally"? Without communities, you will lack media sourcing. Think value-added. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for branding. Our world-class feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 end-to-end content management and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be co-branded? Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our client-focused data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? At Smoel, we understand how to repurpose strategically. Think client-focused. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to architect. The ability to reintermediate interactively leads to the capacity to unleash efficiently. A company that can unleash easily will (one day) be able to upgrade easily. Without appropriate frictionless, seamless seamless infomediaries, synergies are forced to become extensible. We will scale the aptitude of power shifts to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSLT. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also unleash efficiently. If you visualize virtually, you may have to whiteboard intuitively.