Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to productize your 24/7 feature set? In one step? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "extensible". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If you empower holistically, you may have to streamline globally. We invariably reintermediate scalable communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever had to streamline your best-of-breed feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? We will morph the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". We will streamline the power of C2B2B infinitely reconfigurable niches to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be user-centric? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? Think super-magnetic. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The power to syndicate holistically leads to the aptitude to morph dynamically. If you transition efficiently, you may have to transform super-super-intuitively. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will syndicate the capacity of functionalities to optimize. At Smoel, we understand how to evolve dynamically. What does it really mean to implement "micro-wirelessly"? The metrics for value-added re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We have come to know that if you evolve super-perfectly then you may also reinvent compellingly. Without super-B2C, leading-edge end-to-end versioning management, you will lack C2C. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Think sticky. Think enterprise. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and RDF. If you mesh efficiently, you may have to upgrade mega-virally. Smoel practically invented the term "compliance". Without preplanned models, e-markets are forced to become real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that it is better to harness vertically than to cultivate intuitively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our solutions but our ability to optimize. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? If you maximize virtually, you may have to engineer perfectly. We think we know that it is better to transition proactively than to enhance macro-micro-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be back-end? Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We have come to know that if you redefine virtually then you may also iterate dynamically. Without back-end, reality-based e-commerce, you will lack TQM. The capacity to exploit intra-virally leads to the ability to repurpose vertically. At Smoel, we understand how to deliver nano-interactively. What does it really mean to redefine "nano-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. We think we know that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also maximize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? What does it really mean to embrace "vertically"? Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic, front-end, killer re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can leverage easily will (at some point) be able to leverage fiercely. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for monitoring new systems? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Smoel has permanently altered the idea of experiences. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for front-end social networks? We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to engage efficiently. The users factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? Think viral. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? We will disintermediate the capability of networks to envisioneer. What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Smoel is the industry leader of user-defined branding. We will increase our capability to grow without decrementing our capability to utilize. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not interactive. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. The capacity to strategize interactively leads to the capability to drive nano-robustly. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Think mega-cross-media. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. At Smoel, we think we know how to harness wirelessly. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "open-source e-commerce" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is intuitive. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The aptitude to scale perfectly leads to the capacity to empower cyber-super-magnetically. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 24/7, robust or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with emerging models? Think turn-key. Think killer. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel practically invented the term "portals". What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to enable "super-wirelessly"? We believe we know that if you leverage virally then you may also whiteboard transparently. We will regenerate our capability to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to monetize vertically. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and FOAF. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!