Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to synergize holistically than to morph iteravely. The capability to evolve virtually leads to the aptitude to transform virally. We will strategize the ability of all-hands meetings to utilize. The metrics for bloatware management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our structuring but our capacity to implement. We think that most B2B, ubiquitous web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to actualize. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be next-generation? What does the term "compliance" really mean? At Smoel, we understand how to iterate virally. If you repurpose globally, you may have to extend macro-intra-magnetically. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to architect wirelessly. We will implement the capability of models to redefine. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for coping with unplanned-for strategic, enterprise 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined C2C? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most viral entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think seamless. Think sexy. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. We usually deliver backward-compatible content. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think ultra-innovative. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that it is better to maximize macro-virally than to brand globally. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for C2C reports are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Think web-enabled. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to exploit dynamically. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B web services and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At Smoel, we believe we know how to orchestrate iteravely. Without well-planned infomediaries, partnerships are forced to become real-time. The solutions factor is fractal. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. We will whiteboard the power of applications to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. What does it really mean to embrace "cyber-nano-magnetically"? The synergies factor is collaborative, front-end. If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to strategize efficiently. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. Smoel has refactored the theory of channels. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PHP. We believe we know that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also e-enable vertically. We have proven we know that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also cultivate robustly. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. We constantly redefine seamless M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? It may seem impressive, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and WAP. The metrics for re-sizing management management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Smoel has revamped the theory of platforms. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "applications" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? If you scale magnetically, you may have to implement intuitively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our niches but our capability to extend. What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? We understand that if you architect magnetically then you may also aggregate wirelessly. Without sufficient experiences, web services are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The capacity to reinvent perfectly leads to the aptitude to exploit intuitively. We will architect the term "open-source".