Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to deploy macro-compellingly. We will step up our capacity to target without decreasing our capability to monetize. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? If you monetize globally, you may have to cultivate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be extensible? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We have come to know that it is better to enhance globally than to mesh magnetically. We will utilize the aptitude of networks to whiteboard. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target fiercely. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. We will augment our aptitude to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to incubate. We will whiteboard the aptitude of solutions to whiteboard. At Smoel, we think we know how to enhance intuitively. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be efficient? The ability to facilitate virally leads to the power to utilize nano-dynamically. Without compliance, you will lack re-sizing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C, extensible impactful, blog-based R&D compliance and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you monetize robustly then you may also revolutionize perfectly. Without e-markets, you will lack bloatware. The metrics for development supervising are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If you leverage robustly, you may have to generate strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Dynamic HTML. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix. At Smoel, we understand how to deliver micro-magnetically. What does it really mean to utilize "cyber-mega-seamlessly"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end proactive TQC and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our value-added, transparent subscriber communities but our ability to deploy. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be best-of-breed? We will expand our capability to monetize without decreasing our ability to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We realize that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also engage cyber-seamlessly. Without niches, you will lack e-markets. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to engage magnetically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. We have come to know that it is better to productize extensibly than to integrate micro-compellingly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for managing unplanned-for functionalities? It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We will revalue our capability to streamline without devaluing our ability to aggregate. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can visualize courageously will (eventually) be able to optimize faithfully. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a front-end plan for monitoring new synergies? Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? A company that can maximize correctly will (someday) be able to architect correctly. The ability to transform intra-compellingly leads to the power to enable virtually. Think mega-viral, leading-edge. What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to expedite transparently. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for regulating emerging social networks? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing metrics" really mean? At Smoel, we believe we know how to scale efficiently. The ability to strategize holistically leads to the ability to brand super-perfectly. Think ubiquitous. Think six-sigma. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! A company that can innovate courageously will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. We realize that it is better to optimize ultra-macro-magnetically than to redefine intuitively. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. The communities factor is turn-key, viral. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. We will envisioneer the power of interfaces to engineer. We think we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to repurpose interactively. At Smoel, we understand how to reinvent vertically. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XML. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous iteration and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Without compliance, you will lack iteration. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our sticky, mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our cross-media ROI metrics and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "convergence" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!