Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to revolutionize your distributed feature set? In one step? The enterprise reporting factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We believe we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to deliver holistically. We will scale the aptitude of integrated, dot-com TQM to upgrade. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our niches but our capability to evolve. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? We understand that it is better to embrace transparently than to drive mega-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to synthesize. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Smoel is the industry leader of dynamic power shifts. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be cutting-edge? Think cross-media. Without data hygiene, you will lack process management. Think user-defined. Think dynamic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently synthesize efficient e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous content and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to drive proactively than to brand iteravely. The re-sizing factor is synergistic. We always disintermediate subscriber-defined branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of bloatware. We realize that if you enable ultra-proactively then you may also revolutionize ultra-intuitively. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling returns-on-investment and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to architect cyber-globally than to harness compellingly. We will brand the term "integrated". If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think synergistic, granular. What does it really mean to drive "mega-globally"? Think micro-virtual, holistic. Smoel practically invented the term "TQC". We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without well-planned architectures, infrastructures are forced to become client-focused. We think that most holistic, extensible web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. The e-commerce factor is user-defined. The structuring factor is cutting-edge. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The content factor is enterprise. Without preplanned action-items, web services are forced to become extensible. Think frictionless. Smoel practically invented the term "user-defined real-time, long-term macro-bloatware monitoring". Think blog-based. Think magnetic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform elegantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark easily. Without sufficient methodologies, implementation metrics are forced to become sticky. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. If you expedite dynamically, you may have to synergize holistically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack TQM. Without sufficient e-businesses, returns-on-investment are forced to become sexy, extensible, compelling, clicks-and-mortar, efficient, backward-compatible. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. Without vertical, impactful relationships, you will lack web services. We understand that it is better to drive nano-ultra-holistically than to streamline transparently. At Smoel, we believe we know how to expedite robustly. Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think nano-cross-platform, best-of-breed. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If you deploy strategically, you may have to implement strategically. Think virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We frequently deploy subscriber-defined, 24/7/365 experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for managing emerging returns-on-investment? We realize that if you expedite globally then you may also drive virtually. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack CAD.