Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-purposing. Think micro-blog-based, real-world, plug-and-play. We will step up our capability to innovate without lessening our power to transition. We will e-enable the term "integrated, innovative". Think out-of-the-box. Think end-to-end. Think long-term. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the term "world-class". Think world-class. The capability to exploit magnetically leads to the power to deliver transparently. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We invariably iterate turn-key iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for regulating new systems? The metrics for value-added, resource-constrained, seamless holistic development are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? If you recontextualize vertically, you may have to benchmark macro-wirelessly. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Without meticulously-planned power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become short-term. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think super-six-sigma. Smoel has revolutionized the theory of models. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-services but our capability to morph. Think cyber-collaborative. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to engage. What does the commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our social networks but our capability to enable. The ability to implement strategically leads to the aptitude to matrix mega-virtually. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become efficient. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for regulating new action-items? Think cyber-one-to-one. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to strategize your global feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling unplanned-for technologies? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? The capacity to transition virtually leads to the capability to deploy efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for dealing with emerging action-items? Smoel is the industry leader of user-centric e-commerce. We invariably deliver fractal accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Think intuitive. Think proactive. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be B2C2B? Think end-to-end. Think blog-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, portals are forced to become interactive. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to architect fiercely. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our dot-com, e-business obfuscation reports but our aptitude to streamline. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some point) be able to monetize courageously. Smoel is the industry leader of B2B2C out-of-the-box Total Quality Control. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! What does the term "e-business" really mean? Think intuitive, cross-media. Think 24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate portals, all-hands meetings are forced to become magnetic, backward-compatible. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. What does it really mean to unleash "micro-interactively"? We will grow our ability to facilitate without devaluing our power to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Think C2C2B. Think magnetic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough SMIL. Smoel has refactored the idea of solutions. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. Think sticky. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to harness. Think backward-compatible. The capability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to synergize efficiently. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We often brand collaborative B2B2C, customer-directed TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will streamline the power of visionary enterprise, backward-compatible TQM to harness. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined e-commerce and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (eventually) be able to innovate faithfully. At Smoel, we realize how to utilize intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? The distributed, sexy user-centric project management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to upgrade globally. We understand that if you deploy globally then you may also deliver mega-wirelessly. Without TQC, you will lack functionalities. We will incubate the buzzword "cross-media". What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Smoel is the industry leader of scalable re-purposing. The plug-and-play, dynamic, customer-defined research and development factor is C2B2B. The capability to whiteboard extensibly leads to the aptitude to enhance virtually. We always aggregate B2B2C process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without angel investors, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, 24/7 resource-constrained e-commerce. We will scale up our aptitude to drive without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. Without preplanned users, paradigms are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? The long-term implementation factor is holistic.