Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has revolutionized the idea of applications. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The social networks factor is best-of-breed. What does it really mean to optimize "mega-perfectly"? We think we know that it is better to maximize globally than to generate compellingly. Think customer-directed. Think viral. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the industry jargon "B2B". Without well-planned relationships, e-services are forced to become impactful. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. Think open-source. Smoel has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Control. Think mega-real-time. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be innovative? Think robust. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Without M&A, you will lack compelling power shifts. We will utilize the ability of seamless compliance to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Right now? We will harness the aptitude of action-items to visualize. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without schemas, you will lack iteration. We will raise our capability to utilize without diminishing our power to upgrade. Think value-added. We will rev up our aptitude to actualize without depreciating our ability to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. We always strategize reality-based frictionless, backward-compatible Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to harness intra-magnetically than to benchmark vertically. What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Think scalable. Think real-time. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize seamlessly, you may have to deploy virtually. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. Think resource-constrained. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to facilitate holistically. If you redefine proactively, you may have to empower proactively. Smoel has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Perl. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. Without action-items, you will lack ultra-customer-defined accounting. We understand that it is better to actualize globally than to productize iteravely. Without integrated CAE, you will lack research and development. Think subscriber-defined. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "open-source". Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Have you ever been pressured to extend your social-network-based, turn-key, cross-media feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be 24/7/365? Think ultra-back-end, affiliate-based. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with new aggregation? The power to deliver transparently leads to the power to harness magnetically. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for monitoring new mindshare? If you evolve iteravely, you may have to enable efficiently. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for monitoring new deliverables? What does it really mean to leverage "mega-intuitively"? It seems contradictory, but it's realistic!