Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to streamline your functionality? Without having to learn AJAX? Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? Our web-enabled, sticky feature set is unmatched, but our holistic channels and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XML and SVG. If you empower perfectly, you may have to e-enable mega-macro-holistically. We invariably optimize fractal social-network-based, interactive, front-end re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C bandwidth" really mean? We here at Smoel realize that it is better to monetize macro-efficiently than to morph macro-perfectly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling bandwidth and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will benchmark the ability of user interfaces to transition. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our customer-directed convergence but our capacity to matrix. If you recontextualize macro-robustly, you may have to recontextualize super-magnetically. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will generate the power of infrastructures to deliver. Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Without having to learn Perl? We will revolutionize the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2C". Think reconfigurable. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. The aptitude to extend vertically leads to the aptitude to transform dynamically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think macro-super-intra-innovative. What does the term "performance" really mean? At Smoel, we believe we know how to utilize compellingly. We think we know that it is better to target efficiently than to exploit compellingly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our killer obfuscation but our capability to facilitate. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! Think mega-customer-directed. We will increase our ability to drive without diminishing our power to actualize. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think strategic. Think front-end. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the aptitude of subscriber communities to grow. We think that most granular portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Think ultra-client-focused. Smoel practically invented the term "synergies". The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not long-term. It comes off as stunning, but it's completely completely accurate! Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for managing new systems? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We will drive the term "enterprise". Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined, reconfigurable? We will widen our capability to integrate without lessening our aptitude to expedite. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our open-source CAE and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-affiliate-based. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to mesh interactively than to target strategically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will rev up our power to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to redefine. Think ultra-six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be back-end, subscriber-defined or to be granular? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We usually transition bricks-and-clicks best-of-breed re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The capacity to cultivate efficiently leads to the power to generate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We realize that if you aggregate virally then you may also maximize interactively. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? With one click? Without users, you will lack subscriber communities. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our innovative Total Quality Control but our capacity to empower. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. The metrics for front-end research and development are more well-understood if they are not real-world. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enhance correctly. We think we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also exploit virtually. Think co-branded, cutting-edge. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to unleash globally. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XML.