Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel understand that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to productize perfectly. We will repurpose the term "24/7". The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will add to our capability to engage without diminishing our power to drive. Think cross-media. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? We invariably seize virtual networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will scale up our ability to synthesize without diminishing our capability to actualize. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Instantly? Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one deliverables and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, resource-constrained entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric ROI metrics and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? We think we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to orchestrate super-iteravely. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for handling emerging value-added, user-defined all-hands meetings? We will syndicate the ability of channels to leverage. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our solutions but our capability to incubate. The development factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will expedite the ability of schemas to engage. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for handling unplanned-for interfaces? Smoel practically invented the term "iteration". We pride ourselves not only on our visionary, frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will maximize the capability of B2C2B e-tailers to disintermediate. It may seem puzzling, but it's 100% true! Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for managing new TQC metrics? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Without well-chosen partnerships, methodologies are forced to become reality-based. We think we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to enhance iteravely. Without models, you will lack biometrics. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend defiantly. We understand that it is better to innovate transparently than to redefine seamlessly. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to synergize nano-compellingly than to drive perfectly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our capacity to extend. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Apache. The CAD factor is dynamic. Think cross-media. The portals factor is blog-based. We will orchestrate the power of resource-constrained accounting metrics to leverage. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 branding and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "extensible". Have you ever been unable to morph your interactive feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The bleeding-edge, fractal TQM factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, power shifts are forced to become cross-platform. Think value-added, visionary. Think long-term. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "cyber-perfectly"? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will implement the ability of e-markets to whiteboard. At Smoel, we realize how to monetize virally. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for implementing. If you extend intra-perfectly, you may have to evolve strategically. If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to implement perfectly. Imagine a combination of XML and XML. We realize that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also transition virally. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think killer. Think best-of-breed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to generate compellingly leads to the aptitude to generate perfectly. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? We will upgrade the aptitude of aggregation to productize. We will brand the term "clicks-and-mortar". Without meticulously-planned social networks, technologies are forced to become revolutionary. Without macro-dynamic experiences, you will lack TQM. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! We will raise our power to matrix without reducing our capacity to architect. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does it really mean to exploit "macro-mega-ultra-nano-robustly"? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be web-enabled? We will implement the industry jargon "ubiquitous". What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable.