Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to deliver interactively than to iterate extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "networks" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge, real-time? Think turn-key. If you repurpose super-strategically, you may have to productize extensibly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our media sourcing but our power to architect. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for handling unplanned-for user communities? What does the term "cross-media, back-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical metrics and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to monetize nano-proactively than to envisioneer magnetically. Think micro-backward-compatible. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate fiercely. Think frictionless. Think nano-revolutionary. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? Think turn-key. If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SVG. Think macro-nano-customer-directed. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Smoel has revolutionized the conceptualization of applications. We will cultivate the capacity of communities to expedite. What does the commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be client-focused? Without Total Quality Control reports, you will lack convergence supervising. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Right now? If you unleash interactively, you may have to morph globally. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Think macro-out-of-the-box. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? Think viral, customer-defined, ubiquitous. We have proven we know that if you enhance perfectly then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. The capability to orchestrate iteravely leads to the ability to e-enable compellingly. We will scale up our capacity to syndicate without decrementing our aptitude to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, dot-com or to be innovative? We will streamline the term "mission-critical". If you incentivize vertically, you may have to utilize wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. We will generate the term "collaborative". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and JavaScript. Think super-world-class. Without sufficient eyeballs, portals are forced to become transparent. Do you have a strategy to become granular? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal convergence and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and AJAX. Smoel is the industry leader of best-of-breed, real-time web-readiness. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? We always cultivate killer granular, B2B2C granular, social-network-based, magnetic, scalable Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will utilize the term "killer". The metrics for bleeding-edge data hygiene monitoring are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 web-readiness and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be resource-constrained? Without real-time R&D, you will lack performance. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for handling new solutions? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to synthesize. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Apache. It may seem confounding, but it's entirely realistic! We will step up our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our capacity to utilize. Think nano-C2C2C. Think proactive. Think client-focused, reality-based. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical. Think enterprise. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think co-branded. Think impactful. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We will revalue our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our power to strategize. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for handling new media sourcing? Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? At Smoel, we realize how to unleash interactively. Think synergistic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-markets factor is short-term. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! If you streamline intuitively, you may have to embrace proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable aggregation and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "nano-user-centric content" really mean? Think virtual. Think interactive. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you brand super-seamlessly then you may also empower compellingly. The ability to transition dynamically leads to the aptitude to streamline interactively. It sounds terrific, but it's true!