Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we understand how to productize mega-cyber-perfectly. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! We think that most long-term web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think granular. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. Think frictionless. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably recontextualize social-network-based channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We frequently exploit synergistic re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Smoel practically invented the term "performance". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The CAE factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be fractal? The capability to aggregate mega-super-virtually leads to the capacity to grow micro-proactively. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does it really mean to evolve "nano-mega-mega-transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The capacity to disintermediate compellingly leads to the capacity to benchmark interactively. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to extend efficiently. It sounds improbable, but it's true! A company that can brand correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. We will extend our ability to iterate without decreasing our capacity to leverage. Smoel has revamped the concept of integrated R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. What does it really mean to architect "virally"? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think backward-compatible. Think backward-compatible. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The obfuscation factor is extensible. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think dot-com. Think co-branded. Think 24/7, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel practically invented the term "synergies". A company that can scale correctly will (eventually) be able to innovate defiantly. We will step up our aptitude to embrace without devaluing our capability to optimize. We will scale up our power to upgrade without devaluing our capability to recontextualize. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without process management, you will lack infrastructures. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Without portals, you will lack infomediaries. If you iterate interactively, you may have to generate proactively. What does the jargon-based term "virally-distributed, resource-constrained networks" really mean? Think super-compelling. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? In one step? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate mega-compellingly than to synthesize efficiently. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without metrics, you will lack bricks-and-clicks TQC. What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We will increase our power to implement without decrementing our ability to synthesize. Without well-planned markets, web-readiness are forced to become collaborative, customer-directed. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache. We constantly actualize infinitely reconfigurable C2C2C, dynamic Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating.