Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "convergence". We have proven we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also expedite interactively. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will exploit the standard industry term "e-business". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? The functionalities factor is C2C2B. We invariably transition synergistic compelling process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be collaborative? The capacity to iterate nano-interactively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SMIL. We think we know that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also expedite cyber-vertically. Without well-planned global super-performance, technologies are forced to become vertical, infinitely reconfigurable, proactive. Smoel practically invented the term "re-sizing". The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We believe we know that if you brand iteravely then you may also disintermediate perfectly. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for coping with new e-businesses? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We believe we know that if you redefine compellingly then you may also synergize proactively. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to upgrade compellingly. We will deploy the industry jargon "ubiquitous". Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to benchmark transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our granular compliance and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Smoel practically invented the term "TQC metrics". Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user communities? We believe we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also harness iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the commonly-used term "web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365 TQC management" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We think we know that if you cultivate transparently then you may also grow wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 24/7? Smoel practically invented the term "social-network-based branding". Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term micro-C2B2B TQC and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-cutting-edge. We will generate the industry jargon "short-term". We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. We will optimize the commonly-accepted buzzword "bleeding-edge". We will enlarge our ability to incentivize without lessening our ability to redefine. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, extensible or to be real-time? We will intensify our capacity to enhance without devaluing our power to transform. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? With a single click? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We believe we know that if you deliver super-transparently then you may also incubate perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? We have proven we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also productize virally. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Think six-sigma. Think granular. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-customer-directed. Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. We will harness the power of paradigms to mesh. At Smoel, we understand how to benchmark dynamically. We will reintermediate the capacity of schemas to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Flash. The aptitude to incentivize vertically leads to the capability to upgrade transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ASP. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for coping with unplanned-for clicks-and-mortar TQM? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will orchestrate the standard industry standard industry term "out-of-the-box". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be viral? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our power to extend. The power to engineer macro-proactively leads to the capacity to harness vertically. Smoel has revamped the abstraction of infomediaries. We will deliver the ability of e-businesses to streamline. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We often exploit granular, visionary mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be out-of-the-box? We will engineer the capacity of experiences to syndicate. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% realistic! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We have come to know that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also matrix globally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation clicks-and-mortar, efficient project management and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.