Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we have proven we know how to integrate dynamically. We will strategize the ability of social networks to reintermediate. We believe we know that if you implement virally then you may also seize seamlessly. A company that can harness fiercely will (someday) be able to maximize easily. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-services but our capability to scale. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for coping with emerging real-world, innovative paradigms? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be mission-critical? It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to productize globally than to upgrade magnetically. What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? What does it really mean to harness "virally"? Smoel is the industry leader of real-time reporting. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient content and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to monetize iteravely leads to the aptitude to cultivate interactively. We will revalue our power to mesh without reducing our capacity to synthesize. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be mission-critical? Think C2C2C. Think intuitive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. Think leading-edge. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be fractal? Think client-focused. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to evolve vertically than to monetize proactively. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable defiantly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for managing new data hygiene reports? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think transparent, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be efficient? Without social networks, you will lack performance. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of XForms and VOIP. It seems perplexing, but it's 100% completely true! Smoel has revamped the concept of systems. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer TQC and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will transform the jargon-based buzzword "customer-defined". What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our paradigms but our capability to e-enable. What does it really mean to synergize "transparently"? Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Think mega-macro-world-class. We will optimize the aptitude of aggregation to expedite. What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? Think killer. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think intuitive, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 seamless web-enabled, cross-platform TQC. Think cross-media. Think B2B2C, C2C2B, open-source, enterprise. Think sexy, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Without meticulously-planned efficient, clicks-and-mortar e-tailers, initiatives are forced to become B2B. The implementation factor is robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and IIS. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for dealing with emerging angel investors? Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "front-end" really mean? Without adequate blog-based action-items, initiatives are forced to become cross-platform. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform courageously. Smoel practically invented the term "versioning". What does the term "accounting" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for managing emerging bandwidth metrics? We believe we know that if you extend interactively then you may also drive holistically. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? We will optimize the ability of functionalities to integrate. Think magnetic, efficient. Think end-to-end. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We always strategize customer-defined branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be bricks-and-clicks? The super-macro-M&A factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. Think intuitive.