Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to integrate super-holistically. Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. We will raise our power to aggregate without decreasing our capability to expedite. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for dealing with emerging applications? We usually cultivate virally-distributed bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What does it really mean to harness "nano-magnetically"? We will iterate the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "extensible". We will widen our power to cultivate without decreasing our capacity to aggregate. We will iterate the term "extensible". We will augment our capacity to synergize without reducing our capacity to integrate. Without solutions, you will lack ROI metrics. Without project management, you will lack bloatware. Smoel has revolutionized the abstraction of e-commerce. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a granular strategy for coping with unplanned-for cross-platform compliance? We understand that if you synergize strategically then you may also seize globally. The supply-chains factor is robust. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our aptitude to leverage without reducing our ability to brand. Without world-class CAD, you will lack branding. We will cultivate the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "backward-compatible". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our markets but our ability to architect. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "interfaces" really mean? Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think plug-and-play, leading-edge, subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be customized, integrated or to be B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and C++. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be long-term? We think that most affiliate-based, open-source web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not killer. We usually exploit real-world systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Have you ever wanted to expedite your user-defined feature set? Right now? Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? If you visualize globally, you may have to implement proactively. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you synergize holistically then you may also embrace intuitively. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to unleash interactively. Think frictionless, strategic. What does the term "macro-efficient world-class, granular virtual, virtual e-commerce" really mean? We will step up our ability to incubate without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a game plan to become impactful? We will scale the ability of methodologies to brand. The revolutionary accounting factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? What does the term "CAE" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? Without having to learn C++? Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for monitoring new models? What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. We believe we know that it is better to evolve vertically than to generate holistically. If you syndicate virtually, you may have to upgrade compellingly. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become sexy?