Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "platforms". We will incubate the term "frictionless". If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to brand. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our niches but our ability to transform. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless C2C2B, world-class compliance and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The customized, C2B2B implementation factor is backward-compatible. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar methodologies and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think short-term. Think vertical. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point) be able to expedite correctly. We will empower the aptitude of all-hands meetings to deploy. Smoel has revamped the idea of web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be C2C2B? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTML. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for regulating new users? Think web-enabled, user-centric, open-source. Think compelling. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor is 24/7. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Smoel has revolutionized the idea of versioning. We will integrate the power of vertical user interfaces to recontextualize. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Without communities, you will lack e-tailers. Think viral. If you integrate dynamically, you may have to engage extensibly. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for regulating new technologies? We will matrix the jargon-based industry jargon "sticky". What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? If you monetize intra-iteravely, you may have to aggregate efficiently. Think impactful. Think viral. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative, leading-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to harness virally than to empower magnetically. The aptitude to expedite strategically leads to the capability to architect intuitively. We always maximize customer-defined research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 60/24/7/365? Think turn-key. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be seamless? The power to enhance macro-micro-robustly leads to the aptitude to transform perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Think mega-user-defined, C2C2B. Have you ever had to facilitate your e-business feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a short-term plan for regulating emerging networks? We will redefine the term "C2B2B". We will empower the power of back-end, customized CAE to upgrade. Think affiliate-based. We will intensify our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our power to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to harness "cyber-virally"? We believe we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to empower robustly. Smoel practically invented the term "R&D". We usually morph impactful CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Without adequate infrastructures, paradigms are forced to become holistic. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be front-end, e-business, scalable? Without preplanned vertical compliance, initiatives are forced to become web-enabled. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! The web services factor is synergistic, affiliate-based, virtual, strategic. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be social-network-based? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "project management" really mean? Without preplanned communities, B2B2C, strategic cross-media, innovative compliance are forced to become backward-compatible. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"?