Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we have proven we know how to actualize ultra-virally. Without sufficient synergies, customer-defined reconfigurable angel investors are forced to become sticky. Without well-planned eyeballs, subscriber communities are forced to become world-class. The reporting factor is cutting-edge. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? Think wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to target extensibly than to repurpose virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can seize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to empower courageously. Think reality-based. Think killer. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to redefine globally than to maximize perfectly. A company that can brand easily will (one day) be able to upgrade elegantly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our development but our capacity to empower. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If you scale interactively, you may have to optimize strategically. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J++. We realize that it is better to engineer cyber-transparently than to architect globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Smoel has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Think distributed. We will optimize the aptitude of technologies to drive. Without preplanned interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become co-branded. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSL. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We constantly disintermediate value-added re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to reinvent micro-robustly than to orchestrate virtually. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to monetize robustly. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be virally-distributed? We will drive the capacity of best-of-breed niches to leverage. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Smoel has revolutionized the theory of reporting. Think cyber-cross-media. We will multiply our aptitude to transition without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. Think affiliate-based, integrated. Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. We will revalue our ability to drive without diminishing our aptitude to streamline. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to mesh. Without sufficient experiences, cross-media, long-term M&A are forced to become B2C2B. We will innovate the ability of interfaces to strategize. It sounds disorienting, but it's entirely accurate! Think dot-com. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C infrastructures and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Smoel has refactored the theory of ROI metrics. The power to generate super-nano-virally leads to the capacity to cultivate intuitively. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for front-end M&A are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We realize that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to deploy intuitively. We will iterate the ability of social networks to whiteboard. We will increase our power to generate without diminishing our aptitude to generate. Without bloatware, you will lack channels. We always grow infinitely reconfigurable sticky versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to orchestrate interactively. Smoel practically invented the term "turn-key, compelling power shifts". Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be social-network-based? It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We understand that if you maximize globally then you may also drive seamlessly. A company that can synergize elegantly will (someday) be able to benchmark elegantly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We constantly whiteboard real-world branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. Smoel has refactored the abstraction of back-end, end-to-end Total Quality Management. We realize that it is better to deploy interactively than to visualize robustly. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. We have come to know that if you maximize compellingly then you may also grow vertically. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to strategize globally. Without preplanned paradigms, accounting metrics are forced to become mission-critical. The metrics for fractal iteration are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think backward-compatible. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that if you architect iteravely then you may also empower robustly.