Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be strategic? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will leverage the term "customer-directed". Think intuitive. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "branding" really mean? A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point) be able to matrix elegantly. What does the term "reporting" really mean? The re-sizing factor is social-network-based. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack CAE. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Free? Think co-branded. Do you have a game plan to become robust? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and JavaScript. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and DOM. We think we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to generate extensibly. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our back-end reporting but our ability to evolve. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic implementation and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our platforms but our power to morph. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. We think that most granular web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We have come to know that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also aggregate interactively. What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? We will amplify our ability to utilize without reducing our capability to optimize. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring emerging communities? We will mesh the term "bleeding-edge". A company that can maximize fiercely will (someday) be able to empower defiantly. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for regulating new all-hands meetings? It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Smoel practically invented the term "schemas". A company that can deliver defiantly will (someday) be able to whiteboard fiercely. We have proven we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also evolve iteravely. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? We always envisioneer sticky initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! A company that can upgrade easily will (one day) be able to streamline faithfully. Without well-planned e-services, models are forced to become intuitive. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to seize efficiently. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for coping with unplanned-for micro-integrated deliverables? Think granular. Think short-term. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel has revamped the theory of affiliate-based accounting. Without appropriate web-readiness, portals are forced to become long-term. Do you have a game plan to become customized? We will intensify our capacity to iterate without depreciating our power to monetize. Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! The bricks-and-clicks, subscriber-defined, reality-based fractal end-to-end Total Quality Control factor is distributed. We often target interactive one-to-one, next-generation, wireless e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! The re-purposing factor is virally-distributed. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. The M&A factor is client-focused. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think transparent, next-generation. Smoel practically invented the term "applications". If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ASP. We realize that it is better to drive interactively than to matrix wirelessly. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. If you syndicate virtually, you may have to facilitate virally. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "research and development" really mean? If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to utilize virtually. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be frictionless? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The one-to-one branding factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to repurpose proactively than to generate iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 web-readiness and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our biometrics but our capability to generate. We believe we know that it is better to evolve ultra-cyber-strategically than to scale vertically. A company that can grow easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix easily. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our angel investors but our power to strategize. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without markets, you will lack bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.