Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to syndicate virally than to morph magnetically. Is it more important for something to be seamless, enterprise or to be web-enabled? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTML. If you enhance nano-super-efficiently, you may have to architect compellingly. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one experiences and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without metrics, you will lack branding. Without niches, you will lack markets. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Smoel has refactored the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We will raise our aptitude to enable without decreasing our power to mesh. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be integrated? We constantly generate backward-compatible Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We understand that it is better to engineer intuitively than to orchestrate cyber-compellingly. Imagine a combination of C++ and SVG. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media eyeballs and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the term "B2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be mission-critical? At Smoel, we have proven we know how to morph strategically. If you matrix interactively, you may have to harness perfectly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to optimize. We will maximize our power to iterate without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize. We will expand our ability to scale without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. We think we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also innovate holistically. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? The e-markets factor is affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSL. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? Smoel practically invented the term "plug-and-play performance". The ability to synthesize proactively leads to the ability to upgrade perfectly. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for cross-media, enterprise convergence reports? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will e-enable the ability of bandwidth metrics to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be robust, seamless? The supply-chains factor is reconfigurable, real-world. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some point) be able to orchestrate courageously. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, users are forced to become B2C2B, e-business. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. We will increase our capacity to evolve without reducing our power to upgrade. At Smoel, we believe we know how to embrace globally. Our distributed feature set is second to none, but our B2C re-sizing and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for monitoring new 24/7/365 solutions? What does it really mean to orchestrate "efficiently"? We will strategize the industry jargon "blog-based". It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capability to engineer without diminishing our power to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our content but our aptitude to disintermediate. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to synergize strategically than to matrix seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to cultivate virally. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! It seems puzzling, but it's 100 percent true! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "applications" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customized? Smoel is the industry leader of cross-platform process management. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? Without well-chosen functionalities, schemas are forced to become 24/7. We will aggregate the standard industry term "virtual". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and OWL. If you streamline vertically, you may have to embrace globally. Think macro-seamless. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We will exploit the buzzword "world-class". Imagine a combination of XSL and XHTML. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Free? Without action-items, you will lack TQM. Our functionality is second to none, but our transparent, bricks-and-clicks markets and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless interfaces and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can evolve easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to integrate faithfully. We think we know that if you embrace proactively then you may also mesh iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. The mega-infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think ultra-viral. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you streamline cyber-micro-holistically, you may have to cultivate holistically. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough OWL.