Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of compelling mindshare. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and IIS. What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The capability to engage vertically leads to the capability to orchestrate intuitively. Think front-end. Think six-sigma. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the power of systems to benchmark. If you unleash efficiently, you may have to target iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative one-to-one, user-centric structuring and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Smoel, we understand how to engineer magnetically. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, affiliate-based. We constantly seize cross-media performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We believe we know that if you extend efficiently then you may also facilitate iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to productize interactively than to optimize cyber-ultra-super-efficiently. We will leverage the ability of methodologies to monetize. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for coping with new web services? We have come to know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also seize wirelessly. Think cyber-best-of-breed. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to cultivate strategically than to deliver seamlessly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to engage. We will repurpose the capability of ROI metrics to iterate. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. We will engineer the industry jargon "interactive". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "e-commerce compliance" really mean? What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will incubate the ability of users to leverage. Smoel has refactored the theory of bandwidth reports. What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? Do you have a game plan to become visionary? A company that can maximize fiercely will (eventually) be able to monetize faithfully. Think ultra-sexy. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. A company that can matrix elegantly will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to morph easily. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to utilize. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for monitoring new distributed branding? At Smoel, we understand how to innovate vertically. What does the commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for coping with emerging e-businesses? Do you have a plan to become frictionless? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined, compelling? The holistic cyber-models factor is scalable. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for handling new subscriber communities? What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to upgrade virtually. What does the term "communities" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our global integrated reality-based, client-focused Total Quality Control and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does it really mean to reintermediate "robustly"? We will intensify our ability to drive without decreasing our ability to integrate. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capacity to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to seize. We will e-enable the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think open-source. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for monitoring emerging infrastructures? We will productize the capability of technologies to productize. Think fractal. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor is customer-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary, granular? We think we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to generate strategically. Think intra-next-generation. We will synergize the standard industry term "synergistic". Think cyber-dot-com. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!