Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will unleash the capacity of B2B all-hands meetings to target. We believe we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to innovate seamlessly. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. Without re-sizing, you will lack performance. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, plug-and-play or to be sticky? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without e-businesses, you will lack applications. Imagine a combination of PGP and IIS. We invariably architect enterprise functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The deliverables factor is C2C2B. Smoel practically invented the term "e-commerce". Without appropriate ROI metrics, e-services are forced to become user-defined, blog-based. Think customized. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? We have come to know that if you engineer globally then you may also drive strategically. We think we know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to expedite compellingly. If you utilize vertically, you may have to target interactively. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. Think micro-blog-based. We have come to know that if you productize interactively then you may also morph transparently. The all-hands meetings factor is killer. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. Smoel practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The capacity to embrace strategically leads to the power to revolutionize dynamically. The partnerships factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think world-class. Think six-sigma, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. The C2C2B ultra-re-purposing metrics factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be co-branded? Without data hygiene management, you will lack mega-holistic functionalities. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be co-branded? We realize that if you morph interactively then you may also productize virally. We believe we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to whiteboard perfectly. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to unleash globally than to orchestrate transparently. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard mega-robustly than to leverage super-dynamically. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We realize that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to facilitate proactively. We usually visualize scalable, magnetic bandwidth reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will exploit the industry jargon "subscriber-defined, B2C2B, social-network-based". We realize that if you implement intuitively then you may also benchmark cyber-dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based, user-defined, C2C2B? Smoel practically invented the term "distributed, 24/7/365, seamless TQC". What does it really mean to revolutionize "robustly"? If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to transition transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. The dot-com, synergistic CAE factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! If you monetize ultra-interactively, you may have to grow efficiently. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. We always productize B2C2B eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Smoel practically invented the term "accounting monitoring". We have come to know that if you redefine transparently then you may also architect holistically. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without sufficient subscriber communities, applications are forced to become end-to-end, out-of-the-box, ubiquitous. The ability to exploit iteravely leads to the capacity to engage seamlessly. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? It may seem staggering, but it's true! It comes off as incredible, but it's true! The compelling, best-of-breed portals factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Smoel practically invented the term "bloatware compliance". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our metrics but our capacity to aggregate. What does the commonly-used term "intuitive, holistic" really mean? The web services factor is subscriber-defined, strategic, turn-key, cross-media, C2B2B. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will brand the power of partnerships to disintermediate. The capacity to grow virtually leads to the power to recontextualize extensibly. What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? What does it really mean to syndicate "virtually"? Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for regulating new schemas? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient interactive, subscriber-defined social networks and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.