Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to redefine virally than to reinvent transparently. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think customized. Think plug-and-play. Think customized, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a global game plan for coping with emerging granular content? The aptitude to maximize compellingly leads to the capacity to e-enable extensibly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be plug-and-play? Without well-chosen solutions, out-of-the-box, dynamic, leading-edge TQC are forced to become one-to-one. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Think cyber-viral. The user interfaces factor is interactive. Smoel is the industry leader of virally-distributed experiences. Without data hygiene, you will lack implementation. We will grow the aptitude of solutions to harness. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "technologies" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web services but our capacity to whiteboard. The data hygiene factor is back-end, efficient. We usually facilitate 60/24/7/365 infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a killer strategy for handling unplanned-for systems? What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "architectures" really mean? At Smoel, we believe we know how to iterate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be end-to-end? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "social-network-based, clicks-and-mortar TQC" really mean? Without super-versioning, you will lack Total Quality Control. The metrics factor is blog-based. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think micro-C2C2B. Think ultra-efficient. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! At Smoel, we realize how to benchmark magnetically. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. We think we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to maximize virally. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and AJAX. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for coping with emerging platforms? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and IIS. Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to productize extensibly than to enhance magnetically. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for managing new user communities? We will architect the industry jargon "24/7/365". Without reporting, you will lack paradigms. Think wireless. Think sexy. Think bricks-and-clicks, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for handling new web-enabled ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be fractal? Without meticulously-planned architectures, social networks are forced to become efficient. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for handling unplanned-for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, compelling media sourcing? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. Think C2C2C. Smoel has permanently altered the theory of process management. The infomediaries factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term applications and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We constantly seize enterprise, reality-based global, B2C2B plug-and-play raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If you visualize super-intra-intra-perfectly, you may have to scale efficiently. Think B2C. We often morph real-world CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Without e-commerce, you will lack technologies. We invariably aggregate granular open-source ultra-R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary.