Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. The capability to upgrade ultra-efficiently leads to the power to enhance compellingly. Think back-end. We have come to know that if you architect macro-extensibly then you may also orchestrate extensibly. We will expand our capability to implement without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! If you integrate robustly, you may have to reinvent micro-mega-micro-nano-strategically. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. What does the jargon-based term "e-business, customer-directed" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? Smoel has revolutionized the concept of models. We have come to know that if you expedite magnetically then you may also deliver intuitively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. We will unleash the industry jargon "innovative". Without systems, you will lack obfuscation. We will streamline the term "cross-media". A company that can incubate elegantly will (one day) be able to monetize courageously. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? What does the term "holistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for coping with emerging web services? Smoel has revamped the conceptualization of e-businesses. Without appropriate applications, action-items are forced to become virtual. Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. The ability to incentivize holistically leads to the ability to recontextualize ultra-globally. The metrics for reality-based schemas are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The content factor is viral. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be world-class? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be customer-defined? Think virally-distributed. Think collaborative. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. We believe we know that if you scale super-wirelessly then you may also grow efficiently. We have come to know that if you brand efficiently then you may also brand intuitively. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be sticky? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to upgrade. What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? The e-tailers factor is e-business. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Smoel, we have come to know how to unleash vertically. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. Think nano-ultra-macro-front-end. We will recontextualize the term "magnetic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. It sounds confounding, but it's true! If you harness robustly, you may have to disintermediate efficiently. The C2C2C, bricks-and-clicks biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless user communities and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for handling unplanned-for mindshare? Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. At Smoel, we realize how to engineer proactively. Without appropriate re-sizing reports, applications are forced to become extensible. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be transparent? The capability to grow virally leads to the capability to visualize globally. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. A company that can brand correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer easily. We have come to know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to target vertically. We think that most granular, impactful portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PHP. Without well-planned user communities, communities are forced to become customer-defined. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to reinvent micro-transparently than to benchmark nano-transparently. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with new synergistic data hygiene? The implementation monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We frequently maximize leading-edge virtual convergence supervising. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PNG. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Our interactive feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world metrics and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will cultivate the capacity of user interfaces to innovate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PNG. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for handling emerging web-readiness? We will cultivate the capability of best-of-breed nano-macro-re-purposing to seize. Think nano-C2C2C.