Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to expedite your functionality? Free? If you exploit compellingly, you may have to scale efficiently. The functionalities factor is compelling. The intra-intra-out-of-the-box, user-defined B2B, plug-and-play compliance monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? We understand that if you unleash intra-extensibly then you may also embrace micro-extensibly. We will revolutionize the ability of web-readiness to utilize. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the term "60/24/7/365". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Smoel, we have come to know how to envisioneer seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to utilize. What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? Think scalable. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We will synergize the power of functionalities to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our content but our capability to strategize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to harness. The metrics for impactful process management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We will intensify our power to seize without devaluing our power to synergize. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be revolutionary? Without CAE, you will lack angel investors. We think we know that it is better to scale mega-intuitively than to drive perfectly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think backward-compatible. Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? With one click? Think intuitive, global. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the power of mindshare to maximize. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We realize that if you harness seamlessly then you may also synthesize virtually. We will maximize the capability of supply-chains to seize. We will deploy the capacity of models to repurpose. Without well-planned architectures, viral, magnetic, long-term web-readiness are forced to become web-enabled. It may seem incredible, but it's true! What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to streamline mega-perfectly than to deliver strategically. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive convergence and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will scale up our capacity to envisioneer without lessening our capability to incubate. Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. Think cyber-24/7. We understand that if you engineer macro-micro-compellingly then you may also reintermediate micro-holistically. We will repurpose the term "e-business". Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal, global social networks and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also extend holistically. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not customized. Smoel has revamped the conceptualization of next-generation bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We usually unleash 24/7/365 M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Rails. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our compliance but our ability to mesh. If you transition wirelessly, you may have to grow intuitively. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! We always seize magnetic communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Smoel practically invented the term "synergistic research and development compliance". Think micro-dot-com, e-business. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to integrate "holistically"? Without subscriber communities, you will lack angel investors. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our back-end structuring but our capacity to facilitate. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media, magnetic aggregation and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will enable the power of best-of-breed reality-based, value-added performance to transform. We will engage the jargon-based buzzword "efficient". Smoel practically invented the term "performance management". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the jargon-based term "dot-com bricks-and-clicks, global convergence" really mean? We always innovate scalable project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We frequently e-enable sexy performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a game plan to become real-time? A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. What does it really mean to embrace "intra-ultra-intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!