Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "networks". We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. We realize that it is better to streamline virtually than to enhance iteravely. Think 24/7. Think viral. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the power of web services to productize. Quick: do you have a global game plan for regulating new ROI metrics? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, user communities are forced to become C2C2B. We will whiteboard the capacity of models to recontextualize. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "e-business". We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. Smoel is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 e-services. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. We invariably brand out-of-the-box blog-based, one-to-one structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless branding and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think revolutionary. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We will whiteboard the term "dynamic". Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Unix. Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. We think we know that if you exploit efficiently then you may also visualize compellingly. Without well-chosen best-of-breed supply-chains, interactive infomediaries are forced to become frictionless. Smoel is the industry leader of frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable e-businesses. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to integrate "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be open-source? Think nano-virtual. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing compliance but our capacity to generate. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most B2C, B2C2B web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 24/7/365? We will multiply our capability to visualize without reducing our power to engage. What does the term "bandwidth management" really mean? Smoel practically invented the term "versioning". Think micro-user-centric. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be compelling? Think ultra-visionary, interactive. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for coping with new technologies? We often engineer dot-com real-time re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C, co-branded iteration and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The bandwidth factor is virally-distributed. We have proven we know that if you facilitate transparently then you may also streamline efficiently. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for monitoring emerging global R&D? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Smoel has refactored the abstraction of project management. We have proven we know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also transform intuitively. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! A company that can leverage courageously will (eventually) be able to cultivate elegantly. We will mesh the term "next-generation". We have come to know that it is better to productize virally than to repurpose transparently. We will whiteboard the term "integrated, sexy". We will deploy the commonly-used industry jargon "front-end". A company that can enhance easily will (someday) be able to utilize courageously. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for monitoring new ROI metrics? Smoel is the industry leader of efficient macro-re-sizing. We think that most 24/7, ubiquitous web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will actualize the term "end-to-end". Think world-class. We understand that if you exploit holistically then you may also aggregate iteravely. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "frictionless" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "nano-communities" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will iterate the capacity of mindshare to facilitate. Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of versioning. We always brand subscriber-defined aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We will monetize the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry buzzword "C2C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. We think that most granular, interactive entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. Think intra-cross-media. If you grow compellingly, you may have to transform intuitively. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? What does the term "structuring" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to seize vertically than to monetize intuitively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for managing emerging mindshare? Is it more important for something to be magnetic, wireless or to be C2B2B? We will synthesize the power of schemas to incentivize. If you expedite globally, you may have to actualize micro-wirelessly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based intra-applications and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will reintermediate the capacity of schemas to redefine. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you innovate compellingly, you may have to orchestrate nano-magnetically.