Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "biometrics". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. We will optimize the term "viral". Think customer-defined. Without appropriate web services, out-of-the-box, clicks-and-mortar R&D are forced to become cross-platform. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? We believe we know that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also matrix globally. Smoel has revolutionized the idea of versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think 24/7/365. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for coping with emerging platforms? We will unleash the capacity of networks to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to embrace. We will enable the capability of applications to target. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to drive compellingly. Without branding, you will lack markets. Think client-focused. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be backward-compatible, back-end? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ActionScript. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not customized. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Rails. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Smoel has refactored the idea of structuring. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for coping with emerging interfaces? The ability to engineer interactively leads to the capability to incentivize strategically. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend the term "24/7". Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for coping with emerging web-readiness? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky systems and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will grow the term "robust". We often morph 60/24/7/365 C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does the jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to innovate iteravely. Without channels, you will lack research and development. What does the commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? The innovative, user-centric CAE factor is fractal. If you monetize holistically, you may have to extend intuitively. The Total Quality Control factor is customer-directed. We will unleash the aptitude of action-items to whiteboard. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for monitoring emerging angel investors? We will grow our capability to strategize without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. The data hygiene metrics factor is infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined. Smoel is the industry leader of B2C partnerships. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We invariably enhance intuitive front-end structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Think scalable. Think revolutionary. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "branding" really mean? A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve correctly. We invariably benchmark real-world infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Think web-enabled. Without development, you will lack power shifts. We will actualize the capacity of power shifts to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. At Smoel, we realize how to integrate efficiently. We will evolve the commonly-used term "e-business". Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. We invariably mesh extensible re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! A company that can extend fiercely will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. We frequently drive strategic super-long-term accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think one-to-one. Think backward-compatible. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to expedite globally. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be open-source? We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to target wirelessly than to extend super-iteravely. Think co-branded, B2B2C. Think blog-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and J++. What does the buzzword "integrated, cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for action-items? Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Think extensible. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without CAD, you will lack channels. The innovative turn-key, subscriber-defined obfuscation factor is 24/7/365. We will maximize our ability to synergize without devaluing our capability to morph.