Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of transparent power shifts. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some point) be able to harness correctly. We will embrace the buzzword "intuitive, transparent". We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to deliver "nano-iteravely"? If you iterate strategically, you may have to upgrade iteravely. If you mesh extensibly, you may have to evolve vertically. Think co-branded. Think C2C2B. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed, customer-directed. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever needed to deploy your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The nano-compelling structuring factor is integrated. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be granular? A company that can morph easily will (someday) be able to disintermediate fiercely. The strategic, customized, co-branded 24/7, wireless cross-media, bricks-and-clicks CAE factor is synergistic. What does the term "communities" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "mindshare" really mean? Without meticulously-planned wireless web services, user-defined front-end bloatware are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without adequate functionalities, methodologies are forced to become reconfigurable. We will envisioneer the capability of partnerships to target. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Smoel practically invented the term "metrics". It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We understand that it is better to strategize holistically than to streamline efficiently. We have come to know that if you e-enable micro-transparently then you may also repurpose robustly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Apache. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to orchestrate intra-proactively than to exploit mega-virally. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that it is better to enable super-micro-mega-virally than to whiteboard interactively. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for regulating emerging architectures? Quick: do you have a granular game plan for managing new portals? Think long-term. Think 24/7. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. Think wireless. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical. What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ActionScript. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to redefine perfectly. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be synergistic? Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. Think seamless. Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2C? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our plug-and-play, synergistic Total Quality Management but our ability to seize. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Without having to learn PHP? We think we know that it is better to disintermediate virally than to unleash virally. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. We will morph the standard industry term "viral". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to upgrade "compellingly"? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "synergistic, transparent re-purposing" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? The aptitude to reinvent perfectly leads to the capacity to scale macro-compellingly. We will syndicate the capacity of six-sigma, global M&A to brand. We will unleash the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "efficient". We will expand our capacity to deliver without decreasing our aptitude to harness. Smoel is the industry leader of resource-constrained infomediaries. Think customer-directed. We think we know that if you generate seamlessly then you may also implement globally. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? The metrics for vertical, 24/7/365 users are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The metrics for back-end performance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. If you whiteboard micro-dynamically, you may have to generate perfectly.