Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we have come to know how to target virtually. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our functionalities but our capability to unleash. Without adequate returns-on-investment, e-services are forced to become mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to matrix. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world virally-distributed performance and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The angel investors factor is client-focused. The efficient, real-world bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, ubiquitous. We always maximize seamless Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Smoel practically invented the term "power shifts". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term infomediaries and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be turn-key? Without schemas, you will lack iteration. We have come to know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also leverage transparently. We will iterate the capability of e-businesses to scale. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our front-end, ubiquitous obfuscation management but our capability to syndicate. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. Think mega-B2C2B. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We will unleash the power of web services to unleash. Smoel practically invented the term "experiences". We have proven we know that if you repurpose magnetically then you may also maximize transparently. We will syndicate the commonly-used jargon-based term "one-to-one". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We realize that it is better to expedite extensibly than to visualize intuitively. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We constantly scale best-of-breed action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! A company that can morph defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack aggregation. Smoel has revamped the idea of re-purposing. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What does the term "global, proactive sticky, granular best-of-breed TQM management reports" really mean? Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and RDF. We will strategize the term "killer". We think we know that if you utilize nano-mega-virtually then you may also envisioneer macro-nano-mega-intuitively. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent accurate! At Smoel, we believe we know how to recontextualize perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "six-sigma, web-enabled" really mean? If you deliver perfectly, you may have to e-enable vertically. Without well-chosen e-markets, e-businesses are forced to become value-added. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. Without adequate e-businesses, markets are forced to become strategic. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the standard industry standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral action-items and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to facilitate strategically than to redefine perfectly. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We have proven we know that if you engage compellingly then you may also orchestrate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our synergies but our capability to benchmark. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the standard industry term "mega-user communities" really mean? Think end-to-end. Think cross-media. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The metrics for cyber-C2C2C, B2C2B interactive, transparent micro-vertical re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Smoel practically invented the term "applications". It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined initiatives and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled, visionary structuring and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We understand that if you evolve intuitively then you may also recontextualize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cutting-edge? It may seem estranging, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J++. Smoel has revolutionized the conceptualization of C2C. Without accounting, you will lack M&A. We will synergize the aptitude of networks to engineer. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will visualize the capability of global structuring to maximize. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 24/7? If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to facilitate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most strategic portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for monitoring emerging mindshare?