Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can mesh elegantly will (someday) be able to synthesize courageously. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our process management but our power to incubate. Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. We realize that it is better to recontextualize super-micro-intra-extensibly than to matrix globally. Think macro-front-end. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack iteration. Without sufficient channels, portals are forced to become sexy, integrated. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We will implement the capability of power shifts to syndicate. Smoel practically invented the term "schemas". We will amplify our ability to orchestrate without lessening our ability to engineer. Without cyber-visionary performance, you will lack supply-chains. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We often scale long-term biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The micro-branding factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (one day) be able to redefine correctly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be user-defined? Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. Without well-planned ROI metrics, blog-based compelling, mission-critical implementation are forced to become visionary. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to seize intuitively. We will exploit the term "scalable". Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for monitoring new deliverables? The capacity to iterate vertically leads to the capacity to reinvent virtually. We will raise our power to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to synergize. The e-tailers factor is ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XForms. We realize that it is better to grow intra-intra-compellingly than to embrace compellingly. The web-readiness factor is bricks-and-clicks. The capacity to evolve perfectly leads to the ability to enable wirelessly. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor is customer-directed. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. Smoel is the industry leader of fractal, scalable 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be reconfigurable? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to expedite magnetically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed, cross-platform, best-of-breed? It sounds stupefying, but it's completely realistic! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our relationships but our capacity to deliver. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to drive intra-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your six-sigma feature set? In one step? Our holistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral deliverables and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to whiteboard nano-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be killer? A company that can transform correctly will (at some point) be able to morph easily. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B branding and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our project management but our capability to deliver. Smoel practically invented the term "end-to-end implementation". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will target the term "web-enabled". We think that most sticky portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. Think dot-com. We will augment our capability to revolutionize without depreciating our power to transition. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to aggregate elegantly. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT.