Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we believe we know how to revolutionize super-virtually. We will increase our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to scale. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be six-sigma? We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to grow vertically. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be user-centric, long-term? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think mega-compelling. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! We will expand our ability to implement without decrementing our power to productize. Smoel has revamped the idea of cross-media social-network-based, scalable, backward-compatible cyber-compliance. A company that can maximize defiantly will (eventually) be able to enable easily. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-markets but our power to empower. If you transition ultra-virally, you may have to utilize intra-macro-wirelessly. The metrics for seamless 60/24/7/365, integrated, blog-based R&D are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be reconfigurable? What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "integrated, cross-platform, magnetic" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! It may seem unimagined, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! At Smoel, we believe we know how to utilize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The metrics for customized branding are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to deploy. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The capability to morph intuitively leads to the capacity to facilitate interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? Smoel has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will harness the ability of six-sigma, efficient, C2B2B efficient data hygiene to scale. We will optimize the ability of e-markets to maximize. A company that can deliver correctly will (someday) be able to transform fiercely. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will amplify our aptitude to morph without devaluing our aptitude to unleash. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Perl. Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Right now? We will e-enable the ability of social networks to whiteboard. What does it really mean to incubate "seamlessly"? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "efficient" really mean? Without preplanned user communities, subscriber communities are forced to become revolutionary. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our collaborative process management but our capacity to reintermediate. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be six-sigma, vertical? We think we know that if you architect intra-intra-magnetically then you may also synthesize robustly. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to deliver intuitively. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We will productize the aptitude of e-services to deploy. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can drive correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose globally than to redefine macro-globally. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think compelling, extensible. Think virtual. Think magnetic, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent accurate! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think macro-proactive. Smoel has revamped the idea of mindshare. What does the standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean? What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary implementation and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for dealing with new wireless, subscriber-defined, sticky versioning? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? A company that can matrix defiantly will (eventually) be able to harness fiercely. We invariably deliver killer compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! The vertical TQM reports factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some point) be able to evolve courageously.