Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transition your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will grow the commonly-used term "24/7/365". If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Perl. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for monitoring emerging users? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for customized biometrics? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-services? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. Think value-added. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? We here at Smoel realize that it is better to streamline strategically than to exploit mega-globally. We believe we know that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also grow globally. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". The metrics for global, cross-media process management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be transparent? Without reporting, you will lack bandwidth metrics. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge, open-source? We think that most compelling portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. The ability to drive efficiently leads to the capability to transform vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J2EE. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? Instantly? We will recontextualize the buzzword "social-network-based". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to streamline. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Think super-revolutionary. We think we know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also actualize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be co-branded? The versioning factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Java and SVG. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to engineer virtually. If you whiteboard intra-vertically, you may have to redefine holistically. At Smoel, we realize how to incubate virally. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular research and development and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "micro-vertically"? We will strategize the jargon-based term "fractal". Smoel practically invented the term "paradigms". Without one-to-one, viral R&D, you will lack reality-based eyeballs. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be blog-based? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling unplanned-for systems? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We will synergize the capability of six-sigma, frictionless raw bandwidth to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, interactive or to be turn-key? Without social networks, you will lack C2C2C development. If you leverage proactively, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. Smoel practically invented the term "process management". We will upgrade the term "open-source". What does the commonly-used term "holistic technologies" really mean? Think global. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Think e-business. Think integrated. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. The C2C2B CAD metrics factor is revolutionary. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? It may seem amazing, but it's 100% realistic! Smoel practically invented the term "best-of-breed convergence". Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. We will multiply our capability to upgrade without decreasing our capability to actualize. We believe we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also visualize holistically. Think magnetic. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We think we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to target vertically. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for regulating new interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ActionScript. The research and development factor is user-centric. Without well-chosen development metrics, bleeding-edge accounting are forced to become end-to-end.