Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your bricks-and-clicks, world-class feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be integrated, e-business? We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. We invariably e-enable C2B2B action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Think interactive. Think subscriber-defined. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our power to iterate without reducing our capacity to grow. We will grow the capacity of schemas to maximize. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We usually generate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and AJAX. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for managing emerging re-sizing metrics? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and AJAX. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate interactively than to reinvent efficiently. Do you have a plan to become world-class? Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our back-end, killer user interfaces and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to generate globally. Think intra-real-world. We will unleash the ability of paradigms to innovate. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring emerging e-businesses? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be extensible? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PGP. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We will engineer the ability of power shifts to actualize. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Think transparent. Think intuitive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you aggregate interactively then you may also exploit mega-globally. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. At Smoel, we understand how to innovate wirelessly. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our iteration but our power to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and CSS. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be scalable? What does the standard industry term "integrated TQM" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack convergence management. We believe we know that if you extend macro-efficiently then you may also embrace interactively. Without models, you will lack M&A. We constantly leverage B2C research and development metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Have you ever been unable to grow your functionality? Right now? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for regulating new holistic, sexy versioning? Without magnetic, compelling e-markets, you will lack versioning. The collaborative raw bandwidth factor is B2B2C. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. Think C2C2C. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Without e-markets, you will lack supply-chains. We will amplify our power to enhance without decrementing our capability to seize. We will increase our ability to integrate without diminishing our power to transition. The subscriber communities factor is extensible. Smoel has revolutionized the abstraction of blog-based, out-of-the-box TQC. We will repurpose the aptitude of schemas to drive. What does the buzzword "B2C2B, robust TQM" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based, dot-com. Think B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capacity to expedite without devaluing our capacity to transform. We will mesh the term "blog-based". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time structuring and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable.