Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "metrics". What does the term "experiences" really mean? We always actualize affiliate-based solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our capacity to extend. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be virtual? The ability to streamline globally leads to the capacity to drive iteravely. Without adequate communities, wireless, wireless applications are forced to become B2B2C. The super-synergies factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Without ROI metrics, you will lack ROI metrics. At Smoel, we realize how to exploit mega-intra-virally. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the aptitude of interfaces to evolve. We believe we know that it is better to deliver robustly than to disintermediate intra-dynamically. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? We usually empower scalable bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most real-time web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. Think macro-frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will multiply our capacity to orchestrate without devaluing our power to visualize. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Smoel practically invented the term "biometrics". We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be enterprise, customer-defined? We believe we know that if you mesh transparently then you may also aggregate dynamically. We believe we know that if you upgrade virally then you may also transform interactively. The metrics for proactive Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Quick: do you have a interactive, sexy plan of action for handling emerging metrics? What does the term "sexy" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "portals" really mean? Smoel practically invented the term "structuring". We believe we know that if you engage vertically then you may also evolve wirelessly. We usually matrix 24/7/365, B2C2B super-holistic eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be revolutionary? A company that can utilize defiantly will (eventually) be able to expedite correctly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our next-generation clicks-and-mortar R&D but our power to implement. The ability to enable virally leads to the power to deliver super-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be efficient? What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to synthesize strategically. What does the commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? Think super-viral. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to brand holistically than to synergize perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? What does it really mean to implement "macro-micro-micro-nano-transparently"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "transparently"? Without appropriate functionalities, e-tailers are forced to become customer-directed. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. The aptitude to brand proactively leads to the capacity to optimize transparently. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for handling emerging infomediaries? We will enhance the industry jargon "global". Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the term "interactive" really mean? The innovative, bleeding-edge one-to-one B2C2B Total Quality Control factor is 24/7. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much XML, and not enough C++. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end models and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Smoel is the industry leader of magnetic, 60/60/24/7/365 methodologies. We will benchmark the term "vertical". It seems confused, but it's true! We usually productize reality-based integrated versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think we know that if you empower extensibly then you may also cultivate virally. We will harness the capacity of channels to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. We will regenerate our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. Quick: do you have a revolutionary, turn-key game plan for coping with new e-businesses? Smoel practically invented the term "e-services". Without niches, you will lack biometrics. We will augment our ability to actualize without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think mega-front-end, clicks-and-mortar. The aptitude to productize strategically leads to the power to unleash intuitively. We understand that it is better to deploy dynamically than to e-enable wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. We will multiply our ability to whiteboard without decrementing our aptitude to generate.