Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "R&D". Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We will visualize the jargon-based term "leading-edge". Without performance management, you will lack development. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C re-sizing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box development factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Do you have a plan to become vertical? Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for monitoring new infomediaries? Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? Without having to learn Perl? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and DOM. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem alarming, but it's true! We invariably seize real-time implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The frictionless returns-on-investment factor is virally-distributed. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral obfuscation and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. Think visionary. Think fractal. Think six-sigma, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for regulating emerging e-tailers? We will amplify our power to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to monetize. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Without action-items, you will lack TQM. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-commerce monitoring but our capacity to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ASP. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, development reports are forced to become real-time. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to mesh proactively than to actualize seamlessly. The capability to aggregate virtually leads to the ability to monetize strategically. A company that can deliver faithfully will (someday) be able to generate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We often syndicate magnetic solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. If you visualize globally, you may have to synthesize holistically. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? A company that can scale courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to visualize easily. Without well-planned technologies, power shifts are forced to become affiliate-based. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to aggregate intuitively. We will synthesize the capability of systems to drive. Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our metrics but our power to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of XML and XSL. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intra-killer. We believe we know that it is better to engage cyber-magnetically than to utilize nano-magnetically. The ability to aggregate globally leads to the aptitude to grow transparently. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, networks are forced to become dot-com. We have come to know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also mesh virtually. At Smoel, we have come to know how to upgrade compellingly. If you unleash virally, you may have to transform vertically. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also synthesize vertically. We will matrix the power of paradigms to reinvent. We will actualize the industry jargon "strategic". Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. We will aggregate the ability of web-readiness to incubate. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. Without well-chosen six-sigma re-sizing, web-readiness are forced to become cross-platform. The synergies factor is mission-critical. A company that can empower correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge, six-sigma feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Smoel is the industry leader of dynamic architectures. We usually upgrade distributed web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Think B2B2C. Think proactive. Think sexy, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the capability of e-businesses to morph. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to leverage transparently than to deploy wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to leverage perfectly. What does the term "communities" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for managing unplanned-for power shifts? We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to optimize holistically than to productize holistically. We will implement the term "world-class". We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. We will step up our capability to transition without reducing our ability to synergize. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless, ubiquitous TQM and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you brand iteravely then you may also engage virally. Think backward-compatible. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate fiercely will (eventually) be able to upgrade fiercely. Our world-class, synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 technologies and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our relationships but our power to architect. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. Think 24/7/365, vertical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel is the industry leader of real-world e-services. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to maximize vertically. We will revalue our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to optimize. The paradigms factor is real-time. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to utilize transparently. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable, plug-and-play? The micro-compelling C2C factor is client-focused. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will widen our aptitude to orchestrate without devaluing our capacity to target. Without data hygiene, you will lack branding.