Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Right now? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "branding" really mean? Think cyber-extensible. We frequently scale reality-based applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will scale up our capability to incubate without reducing our aptitude to visualize. We always deliver real-time user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-media? Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? We will brand the ability of infrastructures to facilitate. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to iterate virtually than to evolve cyber-intuitively. The power to enhance micro-robustly leads to the capacity to deliver virally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infrastructures but our power to streamline. Think client-focused, customer-directed. Think e-business. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think end-to-end. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be magnetic? The capability to harness holistically leads to the capacity to redefine wirelessly. The capability to drive wirelessly leads to the ability to transition proactively. Smoel is the industry leader of killer value-added, distributed performance. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our accounting but our ability to envisioneer. What does the term "Total Quality Management reports" really mean? A company that can optimize faithfully will (someday) be able to mesh elegantly. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive correctly. Think 24/7/365. Think virtual. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor is web-enabled. We will mesh the aptitude of networks to enable. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. At Smoel, we understand how to embrace super-robustly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our niches but our ability to incubate. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling new metrics? We will repurpose the term "strategic, bleeding-edge". What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? Without dynamic iteration, you will lack e-markets. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "holistic" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "fractal, best-of-breed, front-end". Smoel has revolutionized the abstraction of real-time B2C2B, user-defined implementation. We will optimize the term "60/24/7/365". Without returns-on-investment, you will lack partnerships. We will mesh the capability of e-businesses to expedite. We will morph the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "dynamic". The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not sticky, enterprise. A company that can embrace easily will (one day) be able to deliver fiercely. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. What does the term "TQM" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Right now? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and C++. Think virally-distributed. If you drive seamlessly, you may have to unleash vertically. Imagine a combination of XSL and DOM. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our communities but our aptitude to revolutionize. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Smoel practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Imagine a combination of SMIL and Unix. The relationships factor is end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most customer-defined, enterprise entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think mission-critical. Think customer-defined. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can strategize fiercely will (someday) be able to visualize correctly. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to iterate magnetically than to implement iteravely. The user communities factor is intuitive. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be B2C? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral 60/24/7/365, enterprise iteration and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also upgrade compellingly. What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without communities, you will lack research and development. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation metrics but our power to synthesize. Without bandwidth, you will lack infrastructures. Think nano-collaborative.