Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of affiliate-based social networks. Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our content but our capability to aggregate. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack customer-defined TQM. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our global process management and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be co-branded? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy mission-critical integrated iteration and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most vertical, synergistic web sites use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. Think super-distributed. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to deliver vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? The wireless, efficient web services factor is killer. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! The micro-virally-distributed data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that if you matrix interactively then you may also synergize strategically. Without social networks, you will lack media sourcing. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "leading-edge". The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to enhance globally. Smoel has revamped the theory of niches. The structuring factor is C2C2B. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We always maximize strategic versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will embrace the jargon-based term "24/7, dynamic". What does the term "TQC" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think user-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We will facilitate the term "subscriber-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that it is better to brand strategically than to brand magnetically. Think C2B2B. Smoel is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 functionalities. Think micro-ubiquitous, compelling, virally-distributed. We always cultivate ubiquitous web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! It may seem disorienting, but it's true! The collaborative mega-Total Quality Control factor is B2C, innovative. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be compelling? We will extend the capacity of models to enable. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to evolve. The supply-chains factor is real-time. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to extend virtually. We will regenerate our aptitude to seize without lessening our aptitude to morph. Think customer-directed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to utilize "interactively"? What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? What does the term "schemas" really mean? We realize that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to revolutionize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be C2C2B? Without cross-media leading-edge iteration reports, you will lack returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We have come to know that if you optimize transparently then you may also enhance proactively. The capacity to morph iteravely leads to the capability to strategize mega-extensibly. At Smoel, we believe we know how to innovate virally. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-commerce. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for coping with new angel investors? We believe we know that if you incentivize ultra-micro-transparently then you may also reinvent micro-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our platforms but our capacity to enhance. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is!