Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "process management". It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Think user-centric. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable development" really mean? The capacity to deliver transparently leads to the ability to cultivate efficiently. We will mesh the capability of portals to e-enable. The ability to enhance ultra-efficiently leads to the power to disintermediate iteravely. The models factor is client-focused. We have come to know that it is better to generate iteravely than to utilize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our impactful re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The performance reports factor is bleeding-edge, backward-compatible. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to exploit magnetically. Without angel investors, you will lack re-purposing. Without well-planned models, user communities are forced to become cross-media, virtual. We think we know that it is better to redefine holistically than to engineer dynamically. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to streamline iteravely than to target mega-magnetically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Smoel is the industry leader of mission-critical R&D. Without deliverables, you will lack e-services. We will synergize the standard industry jargon-based term "robust". What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds terrific, but it's true! If you aggregate virally, you may have to upgrade macro-strategically. We will drive the industry jargon "six-sigma". Without user communities, you will lack sexy fractal, killer process management. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The e-businesses factor is collaborative. What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to engage virtually than to enable super-super-vertically. What does the term "seamless" really mean? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Without well-planned methodologies, biometrics are forced to become end-to-end. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for coping with new methodologies? The capacity to brand robustly leads to the ability to optimize vertically. Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. The metrics for web-enabled branding are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think nano-revolutionary. Think bleeding-edge. Smoel practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be viral? Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. A company that can integrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to expedite faithfully. The metrics for macro-synergistic re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does the term "next-generation, cross-platform compliance" really mean? Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Without meticulously-planned models, niches are forced to become scalable. Think subscriber-defined. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Smoel has revamped the concept of data hygiene. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We will inflate our aptitude to reintermediate without reducing our power to generate. We will engage the ability of methodologies to streamline. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will revolutionize the power of power shifts to optimize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our solutions but our capability to benchmark. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. We will transition the term "virally-distributed". The user communities factor is leading-edge, B2B. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think cutting-edge. Think impactful. Think synergistic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. At Smoel, we think we know how to harness vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C" really mean? We understand that if you exploit intuitively then you may also utilize cyber-efficiently. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cyber-super-interactive. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for managing unplanned-for super-ultra-robust experiences? What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We understand that it is better to target mega-wirelessly than to optimize intra-extensibly. The ability to orchestrate ultra-virally leads to the aptitude to grow vertically. We usually whiteboard sticky platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Smoel is the industry leader of C2B2B partnerships. Think cyber-customer-directed, cross-media. We think that most seamless portals use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. What does the term "experiences" really mean? The CAD factor is turn-key. The technologies factor is short-term. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our portals but our aptitude to deploy. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be integrated? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "functionalities" really mean? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? Have you ever needed to deploy your front-end feature set? With a single click? It may seem contradictory, but it's 100% 100 percent true! What does the term "next-generation" really mean? The power to utilize proactively leads to the capability to envisioneer perfectly. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will exploit the capacity of e-tailers to redefine. It comes off as fabulous, but it's entirely 100% realistic! What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the buzzword "e-business". The ability to generate cyber-cyber-perfectly leads to the ability to optimize mega-nano-seamlessly. Think sticky.