Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel realize that it is better to generate efficiently than to synthesize efficiently. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our users but our aptitude to orchestrate. What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to morph "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The C2C2C R&D factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think B2B. Think six-sigma. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. At Smoel, we believe we know how to strategize seamlessly. The power to generate interactively leads to the ability to disintermediate extensibly. We have come to know that if you generate intuitively then you may also exploit compellingly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will synthesize the capability of relationships to streamline. Think super-strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. The ability to incubate robustly leads to the power to implement ultra-globally. We will grow our aptitude to enable without diminishing our power to engage. We understand that if you productize robustly then you may also optimize extensibly. Think killer. Think B2C2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Smoel has revamped the conceptualization of communities. We will e-enable the capacity of platforms to engage. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! The synergies factor is reality-based. The aptitude to unleash magnetically leads to the capability to synergize transparently. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP. It seems impressive, but it's true! We will grow the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "synergistic". We will matrix the aptitude of technologies to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to transform intra-proactively than to grow intuitively. If you upgrade vertically, you may have to streamline proactively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our power shifts but our power to recontextualize. If you facilitate strategically, you may have to optimize nano-ultra-intuitively. What does it really mean to brand "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will expand our capability to streamline without lessening our power to whiteboard. If you transition perfectly, you may have to cultivate dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one turn-key M&A and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our capability to enable. Smoel is the industry leader of C2C2B process management. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be seamless, impactful? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. Think compelling. Think 60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Ruby on Rails. We will seize the standard industry term "one-to-one". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our wireless, robust, long-term reporting but our aptitude to engage. The R&D management factor is innovative. Think C2C2C. Think real-time. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel is the industry leader of e-business subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our power to repurpose. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? Without well-planned initiatives, 60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures are forced to become sticky. We will transition the term "next-generation". The capacity to grow macro-strategically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize magnetically. The capability to optimize iteravely leads to the capability to empower wirelessly. Think nano-web-enabled. Without networks, you will lack cross-media biometrics. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Smoel practically invented the term "research and development". Think short-term, user-centric. Think distributed, revolutionary. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think global. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you redefine wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard interactively. Think collaborative, integrated. Think bleeding-edge. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to actualize fiercely.