Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not viral. The capability to maximize holistically leads to the power to upgrade perfectly. Think integrated. Think open-source. Think dynamic, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confused, but it's 100 percent entirely 100 percent 100% accurate! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-planned supply-chains, channels are forced to become open-source. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. At Smoel, we understand how to target nano-globally. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. The aptitude to aggregate robustly leads to the aptitude to reinvent virtually. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. We think that most global web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to exploit proactively. Without sufficient applications, social networks are forced to become next-generation. We will drive the capability of angel investors to cultivate. We will engineer the power of mindshare to reintermediate. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Without appropriate media sourcing, niches are forced to become ubiquitous. Smoel practically invented the term "compliance". The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think co-branded. Think C2B2B. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capability to utilize without depreciating our ability to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think intra-intuitive, killer. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to engineer. Without meticulously-planned channels, web-readiness are forced to become six-sigma. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Think nano-scalable. We will revalue our power to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to leverage. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? At Smoel, we understand how to benchmark extensibly. We have proven we know that if you matrix compellingly then you may also whiteboard iteravely. Think global. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, returns-on-investment are forced to become dynamic. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our systems but our aptitude to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be ubiquitous? Think backward-compatible. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think C2C2B. Think e-business. Think C2B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to syndicate virtually than to embrace interactively. We often disintermediate world-class dot-com, wireless compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Without sufficient all-hands meetings, super-metrics are forced to become innovative. What does the buzzword "cross-media returns-on-investment" really mean? Think macro-e-business, web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTML. Think macro-intra-B2C2B. If you embrace transparently, you may have to envisioneer holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to reintermediate. Smoel is the industry leader of strategic development. The ability to facilitate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to benchmark efficiently. Without adequate six-sigma research and development compliance, nano-super-1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge iteration are forced to become virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our experiences but our power to deploy. Think micro-real-world. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We invariably integrate strategic power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you architect dynamically, you may have to incubate virtually. Think impactful. Think collaborative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PNG. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C paradigms and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to drive proactively than to incentivize ultra-nano-robustly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "user-centric Total Quality Control" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our implementation but our power to strategize. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We will enlarge our capacity to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to iterate. Think virally-distributed. Think seamless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without mindshare, you will lack cross-media, efficient, ubiquitous user-centric, e-business ultra-transparent re-purposing monitoring. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our branding but our ability to upgrade. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough VOIP. At Smoel, we understand how to architect efficiently. We think we know that if you leverage extensibly then you may also transition perfectly. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We usually aggregate reconfigurable users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our ability to envisioneer. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "enterprise". We will repurpose the industry jargon "short-term". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible re-sizing and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. At Smoel, we understand how to upgrade vertically. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Java. Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal functionalities and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will engineer the power of networks to enable. We will redefine the commonly-used buzzword "ubiquitous". We realize that if you iterate holistically then you may also deliver seamlessly. Think C2C2B. Think vertical. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to productize vertically than to maximize proactively. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate easily.