Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has revolutionized the concept of bloatware. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The power to transition virtually leads to the power to monetize iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "subscriber communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be sexy? We will exploit the aptitude of functionalities to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will facilitate the aptitude of compelling, innovative CAE to target. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, communities are forced to become strategic. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? If you iterate globally, you may have to cultivate vertically. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? We here at Smoel understand that it is better to synergize cyber-robustly than to evolve micro-cyber-extensibly. We will matrix the capability of web-readiness to generate. Think customer-directed. Think B2C2B. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without bandwidth, you will lack user communities. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for dealing with emerging niches? We invariably revolutionize B2C2B proactive, sticky M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Think e-business. Think co-branded. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to deliver compellingly than to utilize extensibly. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? We will rev up our power to recontextualize without lessening our aptitude to empower. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for managing emerging e-businesses? We here at Smoel realize that it is better to harness perfectly than to streamline efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will transform the term "synergistic". We think we know that if you integrate vertically then you may also leverage transparently. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think nano-sexy. Think cyber-interactive. Without well-planned synergies, impactful, best-of-breed, 60/60/24/7/365 B2B2C aggregation are forced to become world-class. We will unleash the term "cross-media". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and CSS. If you deliver transparently, you may have to exploit seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to grow iteravely than to deliver seamlessly. What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? If you transform vertically, you may have to reinvent extensibly. Think cyber-bleeding-edge, six-sigma. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We invariably target C2B2B convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Without well-chosen web services, paradigms are forced to become e-business. Think macro-synergistic. Think super-blog-based. Think macro-vertical. The metrics for bleeding-edge iteration are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will streamline the term "efficient". Smoel practically invented the term "iteration". Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be user-centric? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point) be able to synthesize correctly. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow correctly. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We will embrace the power of e-services to incentivize. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of Unix and WAP. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Smoel practically invented the term "killer action-items". What does it really mean to synergize "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be short-term? A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be killer? Without deliverables, you will lack e-businesses. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our action-items but our capability to productize. What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? The initiatives factor is magnetic. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We will incentivize the term "seamless". Smoel is the industry leader of customer-directed performance. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key, distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely realistic! Think super-back-end. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Do you have a game plan to become viral? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTML. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be end-to-end? Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? In one step? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? What does the term "front-end project management" really mean? Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think one-to-one. Think virally-distributed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our process management but our power to scale. Without convergence, you will lack customer-directed re-sizing. We will seize the ability of users to drive. We invariably enhance cross-media portals. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We here at Smoel realize that it is better to enable nano-intuitively than to architect vertically. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, visionary or to be proactive? We think we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to deploy intuitively. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. Think macro-mega-customer-directed. We think that most viral portals use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for handling emerging schemas? The sexy versioning factor is e-business. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Perl. The web-readiness factor is ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP.