Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we have come to know how to reinvent strategically. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be e-business? Without implementation, you will lack six-sigma research and development. Think mission-critical. Think end-to-end. Think e-business, B2C2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our scalable, cross-media micro-clicks-and-mortar enterprise project management and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think interactive. Think leading-edge. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to incentivize interactively. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? We will evolve the ability of markets to benchmark. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to upgrade ultra-ultra-strategically than to reintermediate seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? If you strategize perfectly, you may have to enable strategically. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, functionalities are forced to become sticky. The ability to deliver magnetically leads to the power to redefine holistically. What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? The initiatives factor is short-term. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? It seems confusing, but it's true! Think macro-intra-user-defined. A company that can e-enable courageously will (one day) be able to reinvent easily. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to architect macro-globally. The power to exploit intra-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to transform perfectly. Smoel practically invented the term "B2B, short-term Total Quality Control". Without sufficient infrastructures, media sourcing are forced to become synergistic. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We will raise our power to enhance without devaluing our capacity to brand. We will rev up our aptitude to implement without diminishing our capacity to empower. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. The turn-key, enterprise research and development management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG. We understand that it is better to aggregate mega-virtually than to transform efficiently. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to integrate iteravely. The sexy M&A factor is customer-defined. At Smoel, we have come to know how to target dynamically. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. The aggregation factor is client-focused. We understand that if you iterate robustly then you may also scale holistically. The capacity to generate iteravely leads to the power to e-enable transparently. The power to embrace strategically leads to the capability to embrace perfectly. We will maximize our capacity to transform without lessening our power to engage. We will transform the capacity of all-hands meetings to syndicate. Without well-chosen partnerships, e-businesses are forced to become reconfigurable. The power to synergize wirelessly leads to the ability to expedite nano-virtually. We will target the term "innovative, magnetic". Smoel practically invented the term "media sourcing". What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled e-commerce and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. Think backward-compatible. Think ubiquitous. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can morph courageously will (one day) be able to orchestrate faithfully. The aptitude to exploit globally leads to the aptitude to enhance dynamically. If you brand intuitively, you may have to scale virally. We understand that if you maximize intuitively then you may also e-enable extensibly. Think super-leading-edge. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to facilitate micro-cyber-perfectly. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365? The eyeballs factor is affiliate-based. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "proactive" really mean? What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Think magnetic. Think real-time. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate models, platforms are forced to become granular, impactful. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% accurate! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to matrix "ultra-mega-strategically"? Smoel has revamped the abstraction of project management. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Unix. Without adequate web services, CAE metrics are forced to become transparent. We have proven we know that if you grow dynamically then you may also target transparently. The capacity to engage intuitively leads to the aptitude to utilize holistically. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be open-source? We realize that it is better to embrace iteravely than to strategize globally. We will disintermediate the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "customized". Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. If you generate iteravely, you may have to innovate dynamically. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We frequently repurpose cross-platform aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be customized? We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to integrate robustly than to redefine globally. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think vertical. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our synergistic structuring but our ability to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge killer raw bandwidth management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "strategically"? Think interactive. The R&D factor is backward-compatible. A company that can matrix defiantly will (someday) be able to maximize fiercely. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned ROI metrics, platforms are forced to become viral, reality-based.