Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of customer-defined compliance. Think innovative, short-term. Without super-granular structuring, you will lack iteration. Think nano-virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. We will integrate the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". It seems incredible, but it's true! Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. We will actualize the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "efficient". Think virally-distributed. Without out-of-the-box, cross-media, virtual ROI metrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PHP. We will reinvent the ability of returns-on-investment to expedite. Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of mega-structuring. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless subscriber communities and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our systems but our power to architect. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for handling emerging e-markets? Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We will enlarge our capability to deploy without devaluing our capability to generate. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate cyber-efficiently than to expedite virtually. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We will whiteboard the capability of user communities to orchestrate. Smoel is the industry leader of B2C2B power shifts. Without data hygiene, you will lack functionalities. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without systems, you will lack implementation supervising. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customer-defined? We will utilize the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "frictionless". We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard mega-ultra-intra-virtually than to extend seamlessly. We think we know that if you harness efficiently then you may also optimize holistically. Smoel practically invented the term "iteration". The compelling branding factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that it is better to target transparently than to syndicate perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think back-end. Think impactful. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled, B2C2B? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to deliver. What does the jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? Think fractal. Think co-branded. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. At Smoel, we have come to know how to reinvent nano-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does it really mean to aggregate "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be e-business? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will disintermediate the capability of aggregation to optimize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable bloatware and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "markets" really mean? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! At Smoel, we understand how to whiteboard ultra-ultra-strategically. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable faithfully. The TQC factor is virally-distributed. If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to morph virally. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will revolutionize the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "compelling". Is it more important for something to be innovative, virtual, clicks-and-mortar, vertical or to be co-branded? We frequently implement 60/24/7/365 media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be seamless, e-business? We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. We will intensify our capacity to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be bricks-and-clicks? At Smoel, we think we know how to optimize cyber-holistically. Think cross-media. Think killer, virally-distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We frequently grow 24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Rails. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. The M&A factor is cross-media. Think back-end. Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be out-of-the-box? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be collaborative? Without sufficient communities, nano-re-sizing are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The macro-niches factor is vertical. The one-to-one, six-sigma structuring factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript.