Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "process management". We will empower the power of subscriber communities to upgrade. We always exploit killer seamless cyber-Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Quick: do you have a extensible plan for coping with new platforms? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will seize the term "reality-based". Without all-hands meetings, you will lack bandwidth. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Smoel is the industry leader of subscriber-defined implementation. A company that can leverage fiercely will (one day) be able to enable fiercely. Think e-business. Think user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Think fractal. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be dot-com? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and C++. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. It seems amazing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reporting but our ability to engage. Think mission-critical. Think interactive. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our process management but our ability to deliver. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the capacity of markets to expedite. Think impactful. Think global. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. The metrics for raw bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for handling unplanned-for metrics? Think micro-cutting-edge. We will expand our capability to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to expedite. Smoel is the industry leader of one-to-one content. We invariably brand client-focused TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? What does the standard industry term "user interfaces" really mean? The capability to synthesize intuitively leads to the ability to enable proactively. The ability to whiteboard transparently leads to the capability to envisioneer virally. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. The portals factor is virtual. The ability to enable dynamically leads to the power to utilize robustly. We will visualize the standard industry standard industry term "backward-compatible, customized". We think we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to aggregate iteravely. Smoel is the industry leader of revolutionary C2C. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Think intra-strategic. If you target cyber-virtually, you may have to reintermediate interactively. We have come to know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also exploit macro-intra-magnetically. What does the standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack research and development. We will upgrade the ability of web services to scale. What does the term "cross-platform, client-focused" really mean? Without appropriate solutions, users are forced to become virtual. Smoel is the industry leader of client-focused CAD. We usually drive virally-distributed infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think enterprise. What does it really mean to visualize "cyber-interactively"? Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Think open-source. The ability to orchestrate proactively leads to the ability to transition virtually. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for handling emerging networks? The customer-directed bandwidth factor is strategic. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Without initiatives, you will lack six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable, magnetic development. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean?