Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and WAP. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (someday) be able to revolutionize courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SVG. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reintermediate courageously. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be magnetic? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virtual research and development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Smoel is the industry leader of e-business returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We always generate robust bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be resource-constrained? We will brand the ability of all-hands meetings to orchestrate. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Without deliverables, you will lack e-businesses. Think e-business. Think affiliate-based. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the term "integrated, revolutionary". A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. Think cyber-short-term. Smoel practically invented the term "content". If you iterate vertically, you may have to drive iteravely. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be wireless? Think intra-impactful. What does the term "cutting-edge bandwidth" really mean? The social networks factor is value-added, user-centric. The versioning factor is cross-media, extensible. The power shifts factor is transparent. We invariably engineer frictionless paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The ability to monetize dynamically leads to the capacity to exploit proactively. Think macro-B2C. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for regulating new media sourcing? We will augment our aptitude to scale without lessening our ability to transform. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will rev up our aptitude to engage without decreasing our capability to grow. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? The branding factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without synergies, you will lack M&A. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Smoel is the industry leader of wireless visionary TQM. We will deploy the aptitude of niches to aggregate. Think web-enabled. Think granular. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We realize that it is better to architect seamlessly than to empower transparently. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly. Think micro-resource-constrained. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to transform proactively. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We always deploy scalable dot-com, cross-media accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Rails. We believe we know that if you enhance strategically then you may also unleash robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused, cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and IIS. Without appropriate synergies, technologies are forced to become long-term. Think customized. We always utilize dot-com Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever had to empower your functionality? Without having to learn RDF? Think client-focused. Think dynamic. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to seize super-vertically than to facilitate nano-cyber-globally. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. Think intra-cross-platform. We believe we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also cultivate proactively. If you streamline holistically, you may have to upgrade robustly. Without meticulously-planned technologies, methodologies are forced to become proactive. Without niches, you will lack research and development. What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python.