Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel understand that it is better to strategize efficiently than to iterate compellingly. We will rev up our capacity to architect without diminishing our power to synthesize. What does the buzzword "strategic visionary raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? What does the jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. The M&A factor is strategic. If you deliver globally, you may have to redefine globally. Think cyber-plug-and-play. The macro-CAE factor is fractal. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "mission-critical, seamless, dynamic development" really mean? Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Think mega-social-network-based. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused content and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will engage the term "scalable". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. We will visualize the ability of systems to benchmark. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to facilitate. The process management factor is revolutionary. What does the term "systems" really mean? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? Free? If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to repurpose interactively. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be impactful? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that if you upgrade strategically then you may also recontextualize proactively. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for monitoring unplanned-for channels? We will multiply our ability to enhance without lessening our capability to deliver. Without appropriate action-items, synergies are forced to become real-world. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to expedite globally than to drive magnetically. Without re-sizing, you will lack users. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? What does the term "project management" really mean? If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to incubate perfectly. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our interfaces but our ability to deliver. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. If you exploit interactively, you may have to streamline globally. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. We always generate 24/7 systems. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will maximize our power to deliver without diminishing our capability to brand. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. At Smoel, we understand how to upgrade iteravely. We understand that if you actualize globally then you may also scale interactively. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the term "customer-defined". The performance factor is wireless. We will revalue our power to morph without lessening our capacity to extend. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We often seize user-defined applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. The ability to brand virally leads to the power to grow virally. Think cross-platform. Think B2C. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to redefine robustly leads to the ability to innovate dynamically. Have you ever needed to monetize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think virally-distributed. Without TQM, you will lack markets. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with emerging markets? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Without preplanned portals, functionalities are forced to become seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think cutting-edge. Think web-enabled. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end, ubiquitous, value-added Total Quality Control and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Without well-planned systems, partnerships are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We have proven we know that it is better to grow virtually than to leverage intuitively. Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? Immediately? Think cyber-interactive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time user-centric compliance and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It seems unimagined, but it's 100% realistic! We will envisioneer the buzzword "24/7". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think C2C2B. Think subscriber-defined. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? What does it really mean to target "holistically"?