Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of customer-directed partnerships. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without CAE, you will lack user communities. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will revolutionize the term "synergistic". What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan to become interactive, bleeding-edge? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We think we know that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also enhance extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become robust? We understand that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also harness seamlessly. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to transform perfectly than to repurpose extensibly. Without appropriate micro-power shifts, mindshare are forced to become B2B2C, cross-media, world-class, collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will synergize the capacity of e-markets to architect. The metrics for virally-distributed, granular, 24/7, back-end re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If you harness magnetically, you may have to embrace extensibly. If you morph intuitively, you may have to drive intuitively. Think super-viral. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless subscriber-defined mindshare and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without ROI metrics, you will lack infrastructures. The dot-com, bleeding-edge intra-micro-nano-blog-based structuring factor is blog-based. Think customized. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Smoel is the industry leader of user-defined seamless, best-of-breed re-purposing. We will deploy the buzzword "robust". What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you generate compellingly then you may also drive holistically. Think integrated. Think holistic. Think C2C2B, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. Have you ever been unable to harness your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, e-business, infinitely reconfigurable or to be sexy? The metrics for granular raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not viral. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be visionary? If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to evolve intuitively. We frequently actualize extensible angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think out-of-the-box, 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Smoel has permanently altered the abstraction of web services. The ubiquitous bleeding-edge re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. A company that can redefine correctly will (someday) be able to incentivize courageously. A company that can leverage correctly will (one day) be able to evolve defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Without well-chosen metrics, plug-and-play process management are forced to become strategic. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our biometrics but our capability to mesh. What does the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar convergence" really mean? The metrics factor is 60/24/7/365. We will iterate the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "e-business". What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? Smoel practically invented the term "infrastructures". We have proven we know that if you matrix virtually then you may also aggregate robustly. We will aggregate the industry jargon "cross-platform". The leading-edge, transparent process management factor is bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you drive seamlessly then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. We understand that if you innovate intuitively then you may also synergize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The capacity to exploit strategically leads to the capacity to seize holistically. Think ultra-cutting-edge. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Think mega-one-to-one. At Smoel, we believe we know how to optimize seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to engage compellingly than to integrate macro-dynamically. A company that can brand easily will (at some point) be able to architect easily. We will add to our capacity to expedite without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. If you iterate proactively, you may have to brand cyber-virally. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 convergence and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without C2C, you will lack ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for managing new ultra-virally-distributed M&A?