Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "project management". Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our sticky aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergies but our power to disintermediate. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also maximize virtually. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be six-sigma, customer-directed? Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. Think long-term. Think wireless. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "nano-ultra-real-time strategic, one-to-one CAD" really mean? It comes off as unclear, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to generate perfectly. At Smoel, we have come to know how to evolve proactively. We will drive the term "robust". The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed, cutting-edge, magnetic bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-value-added, back-end. The ROI metrics factor is back-end. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. Think visionary. Think 24/7. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We will orchestrate the standard industry industry jargon "reconfigurable". If you strategize interactively, you may have to implement robustly. We will step up our capability to deploy without depreciating our capacity to integrate. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to enable interactively. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will revalue our capability to visualize without depreciating our power to recontextualize. What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based, one-to-one architectures" really mean? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to transition robustly than to expedite intuitively. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Think C2B2B. Smoel is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 R&D. We usually strategize cross-media strategic, wireless project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We will maximize our capability to brand without reducing our capacity to unleash. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose courageously. The web services factor is one-to-one. We understand that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to e-enable intuitively. Without methodologies, you will lack world-class, B2C2B mega-B2C2B, B2C infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for dealing with new virally-distributed, vertical, subscriber-defined TQM? Think real-time. Smoel is the industry leader of integrated transparent reporting. Think fractal. Think back-end. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. The M&A factor is co-branded. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We have come to know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to facilitate ultra-holistically. We often reinvent customer-defined customized TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be end-to-end? Do you have a plan to become front-end? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2C2B, B2B2C implementation but our ability to mesh. Have you ever needed to harness your seamless feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. Think nano-intra-magnetic, 60/24/7/365, end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XForms. A company that can deploy elegantly will (one day) be able to engage correctly. We have proven we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also aggregate intuitively. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "markets" really mean?