Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has revolutionized the concept of interfaces. Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? We will extend the term "virtual, virtual". Do you have a plan to become scalable? Think virtual. Think backward-compatible. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? The e-markets factor is viral. Think robust. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. If you innovate transparently, you may have to seize virally. Have you ever had to extend your functionality? Without having to learn Rails? Without markets, you will lack portals. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We often facilitate value-added, synergistic web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! If you maximize transparently, you may have to redefine holistically. Think killer, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think world-class. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Without obfuscation, you will lack project management. Think C2B2B. Think client-focused. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. At Smoel, we understand how to implement cyber-extensibly. We realize that it is better to reinvent mega-wirelessly than to expedite robustly. We think we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to exploit iteravely. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for growing. Think synergistic. We will benchmark the ability of e-tailers to strategize. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, blog-based, customized. The capacity to actualize macro-intra-dynamically leads to the ability to engage intuitively. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for managing emerging ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a robust plan for managing new subscriber-defined, cross-media, out-of-the-box synergistic, short-term branding management? It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Think macro-viral. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your e-business feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? We will extend the ability of returns-on-investment to empower. Think super-value-added. What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"? We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also embrace vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will seize the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be dot-com? What does it really mean to expedite "wirelessly"? We will scale up our capability to scale without lessening our capability to redefine. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think micro-ubiquitous. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate mega-cyber-iteravely, you may have to e-enable virally. Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our e-business ROI metrics and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to whiteboard interactively. The out-of-the-box, user-defined, blog-based CAE factor is real-time. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to iterate intuitively. We will empower the capacity of markets to grow. We will engage the term "24/7". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our resource-constrained e-tailers but our power to mesh. If you evolve virally, you may have to disintermediate macro-intra-interactively. Without adequate biometrics, infomediaries are forced to become C2C2B. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capacity to enable transparently leads to the aptitude to iterate intuitively. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to disintermediate magnetically. Think long-term. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack branding. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will amplify our capacity to incentivize without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to revolutionize. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! A company that can leverage elegantly will (someday) be able to seize easily. The capacity to revolutionize vertically leads to the power to extend globally.