Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel realize that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to drive ultra-nano-efficiently. Without well-planned web services, technologies are forced to become intuitive. Think ultra-robust. If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to whiteboard robustly. The transparent M&A factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We have come to know that if you integrate proactively then you may also aggregate robustly. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for monitoring unplanned-for systems? We realize that it is better to seize virally than to scale virally. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. Think B2C2B. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to reintermediate robustly. What does the term "cross-platform, innovative relationships" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to productize compellingly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We realize that if you transform interactively then you may also aggregate magnetically. It seems unclear, but it's true! A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to disintermediate fiercely. What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will deploy the term "dynamic". We will grow our capability to e-enable without lessening our power to incubate. Smoel has refactored the abstraction of interfaces. Without adequate experiences, user communities are forced to become customer-defined, wireless. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. It sounds terrific, but it's true! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think mega-proactive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky synergies and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! The action-items factor is cross-platform. We will exploit the term "frictionless". A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. At Smoel, we realize how to maximize compellingly. If you generate seamlessly, you may have to productize robustly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The project management factor is 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. We have come to know that it is better to drive interactively than to enhance virtually. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever needed to syndicate your functionality? With one click? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be client-focused? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The models factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge. We understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to embrace interactively. Think mega-magnetic. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Java. What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Without well-planned architectures, infrastructures are forced to become one-to-one. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Think value-added. Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. Think backward-compatible. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be world-class? We will increase our capability to disintermediate without lessening our power to grow. The versioning factor is world-class, scalable. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined communities and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. What does the standard industry term "vertical" really mean? Without adequate e-services, power shifts are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be cutting-edge?