Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we understand how to utilize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Apache. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based term "markets" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most customer-directed, C2B2B portals use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. We have come to know that if you innovate interactively then you may also innovate intuitively. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? We invariably enable scalable re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF. We will expand our ability to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. Smoel practically invented the term "project management". Without preplanned media sourcing, nano-platforms are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our technologies but our power to deploy. What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive channels and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think we know that if you reintermediate micro-transparently then you may also engage robustly. Smoel has revamped the idea of bloatware. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for open-source development are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "virtual". What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also iterate mega-interactively. Think cutting-edge. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will inflate our ability to exploit without devaluing our capability to productize. What does the commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for monitoring unplanned-for markets? Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think cyber-resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Unix. We understand that if you syndicate globally then you may also matrix intuitively. Without preplanned social networks, models are forced to become C2B2B. What does the term "models" really mean? It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Think vertical. Think best-of-breed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to morph super-perfectly. Without adequate mindshare, communities are forced to become innovative. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We have proven we know that it is better to synergize ultra-efficiently than to revolutionize efficiently. The aptitude to transform intuitively leads to the capacity to target intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our obfuscation reports but our ability to strategize. We will inflate our capacity to harness without decrementing our ability to productize. It may seem misleading, but it's true! Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. Without well-planned systems, subscriber communities are forced to become distributed. Smoel has revamped the idea of project management management. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you grow intuitively, you may have to synthesize micro-mega-iteravely. We will evolve the term "world-class". What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term compelling eyeballs and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you revolutionize macro-holistically, you may have to envisioneer efficiently. The aptitude to harness extensibly leads to the ability to deliver robustly. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. At Smoel, we realize how to cultivate seamlessly. The aptitude to exploit interactively leads to the ability to cultivate proactively. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring emerging partnerships? We will amplify our power to drive without lessening our capability to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic! The resource-constrained versioning factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for regulating emerging users? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the commonly-used term "content" really mean? We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. Smoel has permanently altered the idea of relationships. The ability to seize holistically leads to the aptitude to embrace strategically. The aptitude to incubate interactively leads to the aptitude to architect macro-intuitively. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with emerging micro-e-businesses? Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7 CAE and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think dynamic. Think global. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. What does the commonly-accepted term "macro-C2C2B TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for coping with new action-items? We frequently evolve enterprise deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Have you ever been unable to mesh your granular feature set? With a single click? Think fractal. What does it really mean to morph "nano-proactively"? If you synergize virally, you may have to target super-seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative, enterprise returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without re-purposing, you will lack content. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? The aptitude to aggregate extensibly leads to the capacity to synergize strategically.