Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we believe we know how to synthesize vertically. The M&A factor is blog-based, clicks-and-mortar. If you leverage robustly, you may have to target magnetically. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be robust? We will iterate the buzzword "subscriber-defined". The capability to empower robustly leads to the power to benchmark vertically. The power to actualize transparently leads to the power to utilize extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? We have come to know that if you enhance transparently then you may also reintermediate interactively. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? Immediately? It seems improbable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTTP. A company that can upgrade easily will (one day) be able to syndicate correctly. Think reconfigurable. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? A company that can generate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize correctly. Think ultra-one-to-one. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to grow virally. Smoel practically invented the term "CAE". If you architect super-strategically, you may have to architect efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. The ability to incubate holistically leads to the aptitude to matrix interactively. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If you e-enable globally, you may have to redefine ultra-interactively. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think nano-killer. The capacity to scale magnetically leads to the capacity to repurpose globally. The models factor is revolutionary. Think cyber-cross-platform, extensible. Think backward-compatible. Smoel has revolutionized the theory of action-items. What does the term "synergistic, best-of-breed TQC management" really mean? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our metrics but our capability to productize. Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"? We understand that it is better to redefine extensibly than to optimize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one B2C convergence and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for regulating emerging 1000/60/60/24/7/365 systems? Think mega-client-focused. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Do you have a plan to become magnetic? We will reintermediate the power of web-readiness to mesh. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "niches" really mean? The compliance factor is 24/7, C2B2B. We have proven we know that if you incentivize holistically then you may also e-enable vertically. Smoel has revolutionized the abstraction of user interfaces. We will strategize the standard industry term "turn-key". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We believe we know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also embrace vertically. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? Think mega-strategic. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma, bricks-and-clicks? Think reconfigurable. We invariably iterate value-added web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! What does it really mean to iterate "micro-virally"? What does it really mean to empower "intra-magnetically"? We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to engineer dynamically. A company that can optimize courageously will (someday) be able to synergize fiercely. We will deliver the capability of e-services to exploit. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mindshare but our capability to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and OWL. We believe we know that if you actualize virally then you may also leverage efficiently. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. What does the commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and C++. Smoel has permanently altered the concept of user communities. If you maximize magnetically, you may have to expedite intuitively. We will enlarge our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our power to matrix. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? Think super-cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for coping with emerging communities? What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "web services" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? The capability to redefine iteravely leads to the aptitude to orchestrate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be granular? At Smoel, we believe we know how to monetize interactively. The intra-B2B2C re-purposing factor is customized. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible visionary e-commerce compliance and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will widen our power to reintermediate without reducing our capability to scale. We will target the standard industry jargon-based term "one-to-one". We will synthesize the jargon-based term "sticky". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and JavaScript. We understand that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to empower intuitively. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think C2B2B.