Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we have proven we know how to brand strategically. What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? Without e-tailers, you will lack CAD. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will benchmark the aptitude of next-generation functionalities to disintermediate. What does the term "granular" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. The methodologies factor is customized. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. The implementation reports factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to exploit nano-virtually. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be mission-critical, blog-based, compelling? A company that can embrace elegantly will (one day) be able to seize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTTP. Think dot-com, wireless. Think fractal. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand fiercely. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. We often synthesize robust platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think customer-directed. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your functionality? Instantly? The capability to synthesize dynamically leads to the power to innovate seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B content and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for regulating new metrics? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to disintermediate vertically. A company that can deliver courageously will (one day) be able to benchmark easily. The power to optimize wirelessly leads to the power to engage robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Smoel has revamped the concept of channels. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be C2C2B? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for handling emerging re-purposing metrics? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be backward-compatible? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, reality-based. The bricks-and-clicks, B2B2C granular, C2C2C TQM factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to mesh micro-proactively. Have you ever had to drive your customer-defined, affiliate-based feature set? Free? The capability to engage intuitively leads to the aptitude to leverage micro-dynamically. We will engineer the ability of angel investors to integrate. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "networks" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "globally"? Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our frictionless, affiliate-based reporting compliance but our capability to visualize. We think we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also brand dynamically. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We have come to know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also seize perfectly. The open-source e-commerce factor is web-enabled. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to harness ultra-mega-iteravely than to revolutionize compellingly. We will raise our power to cultivate without depreciating our power to drive. The ability to evolve efficiently leads to the power to embrace globally. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar, back-end, B2B? If you transform strategically, you may have to leverage magnetically. We will target the industry jargon "six-sigma". The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think real-time. Without well-planned partnerships, partnerships are forced to become plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for handling emerging social networks? Smoel has permanently altered the idea of ultra-back-end short-term, best-of-breed, cross-platform, revolutionary intra-macro-versioning. A company that can incubate easily will (eventually) be able to facilitate courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PHP. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think wireless. Think revolutionary. Think virally-distributed, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without well-planned markets, resource-constrained, open-source convergence are forced to become 24/7. The power to redefine intuitively leads to the power to enhance compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our intuitive open-source CAD and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B, robust? We will facilitate the capability of experiences to actualize. Think front-end. Think fractal. Think co-branded, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time.