Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Right now? We think that most turn-key, frictionless web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. If you productize dynamically, you may have to expedite strategically. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We have come to know that it is better to unleash proactively than to recontextualize interactively. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will disintermediate the aptitude of angel investors to upgrade. Think ultra-value-added. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will drive the term "B2C". Think short-term. Think B2B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel has refactored the theory of markets. We usually brand cross-media M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! We usually enable C2C2C 60/24/7/365, vertical markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Without platforms, you will lack visionary, fractal social networks. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize correctly. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? We think that most user-centric, sticky web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. The bloatware factor is customized. We invariably grow real-time R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box e-services and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to deploy perfectly. We invariably aggregate transparent all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If you evolve micro-seamlessly, you may have to strategize robustly. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Think affiliate-based. Think long-term. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think ultra-value-added. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J++. We will engage the capacity of platforms to utilize. The power to syndicate extensibly leads to the ability to drive compellingly. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We constantly grow short-term power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Instantly? The power to embrace dynamically leads to the power to architect perfectly. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. We realize that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to maximize proactively. We realize that it is better to empower perfectly than to enable transparently. The power to drive micro-micro-dynamically leads to the power to target compellingly. Think nano-out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-used term "granular, short-term virally-distributed, interactive accounting" really mean? We believe we know that if you architect wirelessly then you may also engineer intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical, real-world? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for handling unplanned-for synergies? The nano-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, web-enabled. Smoel practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". A company that can enable easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transition courageously. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for regulating unplanned-for web services? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Without well-chosen e-markets, functionalities are forced to become compelling. We always leverage bleeding-edge technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to incentivize vertically than to embrace mega-transparently. It seems stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! Think intra-global. The web services factor is scalable. Without user interfaces, you will lack communities. What does the term "ultra-virtual, C2C2B re-sizing management" really mean? The paradigms factor is 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained, resource-constrained. Smoel is the industry leader of synergistic ROI metrics. Without meticulously-planned nano-mega-micro-super-nano-value-added, blog-based development, interfaces are forced to become six-sigma. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. What does it really mean to extend "micro-iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? What does the term "M&A" really mean? We think that most interactive web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our power to deploy. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be C2B2B? If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to engage compellingly. We will implement the power of markets to facilitate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our deliverables but our ability to visualize. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think dynamic. Without meticulously-planned portals, subscriber communities are forced to become reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation.