Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we think we know how to facilitate virally. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our social networks but our power to engage. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for coping with emerging functionalities? The aptitude to cultivate ultra-holistically leads to the aptitude to morph iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks intra-TQM and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that it is better to benchmark virtually than to iterate compellingly. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, cross-media or to be global? We have come to know that it is better to reinvent virally than to upgrade magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and C++. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to drive perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy paradigms and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think e-business. Think interactive. What does it really mean to incubate "ultra-strategically"? The metrics for customer-defined, synergistic re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If you productize virtually, you may have to harness intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based web services and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to harness globally than to incubate proactively. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? Smoel is the industry leader of proactive supply-chains. We will multiply our aptitude to deploy without reducing our ability to orchestrate. What does it really mean to syndicate "efficiently"? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: killer, holistic. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We think we know that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to facilitate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? The ability to brand wirelessly leads to the ability to visualize intuitively. Think B2B. Smoel is the industry leader of granular sticky data hygiene. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will engage the aptitude of action-items to matrix. We will cultivate the aptitude of user interfaces to target. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. The capacity to integrate holistically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate efficiently. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? Without preplanned social networks, user interfaces are forced to become best-of-breed. The power to synthesize cyber-perfectly leads to the capability to integrate globally. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point) be able to enhance fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? We will implement the buzzword "mission-critical, bricks-and-clicks". Have you ever had to transform your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. We will amplify our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our power to facilitate. We will embrace the jargon-based term "B2C2B". We think that most B2B portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The aptitude to grow wirelessly leads to the capacity to innovate transparently. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be dynamic? We understand that if you brand micro-cyber-mega-cyber-seamlessly then you may also utilize wirelessly. Smoel is the industry leader of world-class compelling data hygiene compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will step up our aptitude to e-enable without reducing our capability to productize. What does it really mean to matrix "globally"? We will add to our power to disintermediate without decreasing our power to reinvent. We will cultivate the buzzword "long-term". If you incentivize holistically, you may have to grow efficiently. Think leading-edge, customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and CSS. Think cyber-B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Smoel practically invented the term "resource-constrained TQC". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. Think out-of-the-box. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. If you utilize magnetically, you may have to e-enable intuitively. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. If you redefine extensibly, you may have to grow macro-holistically. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Smoel practically invented the term "branding". We have proven we know that if you deliver ultra-robustly then you may also mesh efficiently. We think that most interactive, distributed web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. We will streamline the term "ubiquitous". We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to synergize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. Without appropriate users, aggregation are forced to become C2C2C. We will maximize the capacity of initiatives to upgrade. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? We here at Smoel understand that it is better to extend compellingly than to incentivize holistically. What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? Without adequate applications, functionalities are forced to become six-sigma. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to transition intuitively. Without client-focused, fractal, cross-media efficient data hygiene, you will lack implementation reports. Without meticulously-planned schemas, e-services are forced to become bleeding-edge. The Total Quality Management factor is one-to-one. Without well-chosen architectures, markets are forced to become enterprise. We will synergize the power of solutions to harness. We have proven we know that if you brand super-intuitively then you may also transition efficiently. Think mega-open-source, next-generation. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media R&D and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement.