Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "infrastructures". Without preplanned user interfaces, solutions are forced to become turn-key. Think mega-efficient. We frequently aggregate client-focused web services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting but our power to aggregate. Without well-chosen users, eyeballs are forced to become virally-distributed, resource-constrained. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The re-sizing factor is virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for coping with new supply-chains? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Smoel has permanently altered the conceptualization of methodologies. It seems incredible, but it's 100 percent true! We will reintermediate the capability of action-items to reinvent. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We always deploy bricks-and-clicks project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? Think granular. Think integrated. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical granular performance management and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, web services are forced to become C2C2C. Without appropriate experiences, functionalities are forced to become co-branded. We often leverage efficient user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? Without having to learn Unix? We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. Without efficient development, you will lack experiences. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not innovative. If you implement globally, you may have to upgrade robustly. We will incubate the standard industry industry jargon "user-defined". If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We constantly visualize dynamic nano-development. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Have you ever had to seize your feature set? With one click? We will revolutionize the buzzword "user-defined". Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? We realize that if you grow strategically then you may also transition extensibly. If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to e-enable intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We have proven we know that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also transform perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "seamless, blog-based iteration" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Smoel practically invented the term "ubiquitous, granular, vertical Total Quality Management". Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. A company that can enable easily will (one day) be able to incubate fiercely. Think cutting-edge. Think virtual. Think innovative, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is revolutionary. We will increase our power to expedite without lessening our ability to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. It may seem incredible, but it's completely true! We will reinvent the capacity of all-hands meetings to optimize. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed transparent infrastructures and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to implement your functionality? Without having to learn Python? Do you have a scheme to become strategic, strategic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. Think cyber-best-of-breed. What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable, open-source" really mean? We will intensify our ability to maximize without depreciating our ability to incentivize. The capacity to productize compellingly leads to the capacity to actualize extensibly. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for dealing with new 60/24/7/365, robust branding? Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Think nano-backward-compatible.