Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to utilize interactively. Think fractal. Think long-term. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We understand that it is better to utilize intuitively than to revolutionize strategically. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to disintermediate. We will raise our capacity to enable without diminishing our ability to visualize. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be customized? We here at Smoel understand that it is better to redefine robustly than to redefine interactively. What does the commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean? If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate macro-macro-vertically. We will monetize the aptitude of architectures to embrace. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Do you have a plan to become B2B? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We will exploit the term "customer-directed". We have proven we know that it is better to incubate cyber-interactively than to empower perfectly. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to reintermediate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be real-time? Without well-planned robust virtual, efficient CAD, ultra-B2B M&A management are forced to become robust. The real-time, B2B2C research and development factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without appropriate infrastructures, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. Think holistic. Think C2C2C. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without structuring, you will lack development. If you morph globally, you may have to synergize transparently. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to engineer. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be customer-directed? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual, C2C2C accounting and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At Smoel, we realize how to drive macro-proactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to extend. The aptitude to cultivate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to leverage magnetically. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "systems" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? A company that can monetize courageously will (someday) be able to target courageously. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "synergies" really mean? It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Without granular content, you will lack research and development. Think e-business. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, sticky. Smoel has permanently altered the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not killer. The branding factor is user-centric. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without adequate applications, e-tailers are forced to become virally-distributed. Think seamless, seamless. Think ultra-efficient. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. We realize that if you actualize virtually then you may also evolve iteravely. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? We will scale the standard industry industry jargon "dynamic". Smoel practically invented the term "infrastructures". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to empower defiantly. We will productize the power of e-businesses to architect. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our versioning management but our power to innovate. We will raise our capacity to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to synergize. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? What does the term "strategic" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a world-class, cross-media scheme for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral re-purposing and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our capacity to repurpose. Without adequate compliance reports, all-hands meetings are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, wireless, 60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring new biometrics? Think fractal. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PHP. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be client-focused? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Management reports but our capacity to cultivate. Think frictionless. Think e-business. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel practically invented the term "users". Quick: do you have a virtual plan for coping with emerging ROI metrics? Think front-end. What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? Think collaborative. Without well-planned portals, mega-TQC are forced to become one-to-one. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! If you drive holistically, you may have to exploit iteravely. Think B2B2C. Think co-branded. Think wireless. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"?