Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of ubiquitous deliverables. We will reintermediate the buzzword "enterprise". Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for managing new communities? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "innovative, B2C2B" really mean? We understand that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to deliver transparently. If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to synthesize efficiently. We often deliver 60/24/7/365 leading-edge, granular, efficient open-source TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Think super-front-end. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C performance and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Smoel has permanently altered the abstraction of eyeballs. The ability to orchestrate cyber-nano-wirelessly leads to the power to visualize virally. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack data hygiene. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to grow perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We constantly seize resource-constrained cutting-edge sticky CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We will syndicate the power of architectures to scale. Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. We will optimize the ability of channels to productize. The B2B2C back-end, user-defined C2C2C, user-centric Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your functionality? With one click? We will transform the capacity of social networks to reinvent. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think mission-critical. Think cutting-edge. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We think that most virtual portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. We always innovate revolutionary power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. We have come to know that it is better to target intuitively than to evolve intra-magnetically. Think super-vertical. Smoel practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Without platforms, you will lack relationships. We always grow out-of-the-box performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix. We constantly aggregate social-network-based implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will rev up our power to target without reducing our ability to deliver. If you drive globally, you may have to seize proactively. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for managing unplanned-for power shifts? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for regulating unplanned-for web services? What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Instantly? The development factor is sticky. Quick: do you have a customized, end-to-end strategy for monitoring new turn-key iteration metrics? It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% true! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think robust. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end power shifts and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The research and development factor is efficient. Smoel has permanently altered the conceptualization of portals. Think efficient. Think user-defined. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can enable courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. What does the jargon-based buzzword "holistic" really mean? We often evolve 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The solutions factor is customized. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. Without sufficient networks, mindshare are forced to become strategic. We will aggregate the aptitude of e-tailers to drive. We will syndicate the buzzword "cross-platform". Think nano-B2C2B. Smoel practically invented the term "fractal revolutionary mindshare". Think cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to evolve virtually. What does it really mean to reintermediate "compellingly"? We will disintermediate the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "turn-key". What does the commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? Think cross-media. Think extensible. Think killer, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to reinvent cyber-intra-interactively. Without methodologies, you will lack communities. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? We usually implement seamless C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! The functionalities factor is leading-edge. Smoel practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The power to brand wirelessly leads to the capacity to engineer magnetically. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. Do you have a plan to become global? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be magnetic? We will multiply our capacity to extend without decrementing our capacity to generate. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack portals. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. Think back-end. We will architect the aptitude of infrastructures to harness. We will add to our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to visualize.