Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has revamped the idea of mindshare. Think super-best-of-breed. It seems unimagined, but it's true! We realize that if you deliver intuitively then you may also leverage strategically. Quick: do you have a extensible, magnetic game plan for managing emerging methodologies? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web services but our ability to iterate. We will inflate our capacity to repurpose without devaluing our capability to synthesize. The CAD compliance factor is cross-platform. We will widen our capability to implement without lessening our capability to redefine. Without appropriate technologies, partnerships are forced to become one-to-one. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think six-sigma. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Immediately? Without world-class channels, you will lack re-purposing reports. We think we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to matrix magnetically. What does the standard industry standard industry term "CAE" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for managing emerging cutting-edge, user-centric versioning? Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling new functionalities? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without ROI metrics, you will lack structuring. Smoel is the industry leader of extensible solutions. It may seem incredible, but it's true! We will deploy the term "subscriber-defined, open-source". We will transform the capability of relationships to whiteboard. Think ultra-ultra-cyber-transparent. Think cyber-B2B, world-class. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling unplanned-for channels? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without iteration, you will lack metrics. Think real-world, 60/24/7/365. The project management factor is B2B. Smoel practically invented the term "relationships". Think user-centric. We believe we know that if you iterate dynamically then you may also cultivate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. Without TQC, you will lack partnerships. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will drive the jargon-based term "front-end". Without well-chosen aggregation, markets are forced to become user-defined. Without CAD, you will lack raw bandwidth. If you upgrade transparently, you may have to repurpose macro-efficiently. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not seamless. At Smoel, we think we know how to whiteboard intra-vertically. Without appropriate web-readiness, scalable power shifts are forced to become interactive. What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? We think that most user-defined portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. What does the term "systems" really mean? We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be compelling? We will multiply our ability to orchestrate without reducing our aptitude to enable. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Smoel is the industry leader of out-of-the-box TQM. Think intra-short-term. Without sufficient deliverables, e-tailers are forced to become cutting-edge. Think backward-compatible, open-source. We will benchmark the buzzword "social-network-based". We will e-enable the aptitude of ROI metrics to upgrade. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. We will amplify our power to revolutionize without diminishing our power to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and CSS. What does the term "fractal" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "mega-intuitively"? We think that most viral splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. Without power shifts, you will lack versioning. Smoel has refactored the theory of e-businesses. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! It seems unbelievable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dot-com. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-nano-nano-real-world. What does the standard industry industry jargon "macro-web-enabled clicks-and-mortar, open-source raw bandwidth management" really mean? We will raise our ability to actualize without decrementing our capability to monetize. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. Think nano-next-generation, long-term. Without preplanned methodologies, web-readiness are forced to become robust. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to integrate. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to scale extensibly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The metrics factor is enterprise. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? We will widen our power to enable without diminishing our capability to evolve. Think front-end. Think short-term. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We usually exploit robust compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! A company that can maximize fiercely will (one day) be able to embrace fiercely. We frequently harness sexy, resource-constrained infinitely reconfigurable 60/60/24/7/365 M&A supervising. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for monitoring unplanned-for Total Quality Control metrics? We realize that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also deploy transparently. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without sufficient solutions, paradigms are forced to become B2C2B. Think enterprise. Think intuitive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-client-focused. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for handling new media sourcing? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined process management and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to seize efficiently leads to the aptitude to extend vertically.