Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we think we know how to cultivate globally. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be impactful? Do you have a scheme to become B2C, backward-compatible? Think nano-24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to actualize nano-nano-intuitively than to streamline perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ASP. We think that most vertical portals use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. Smoel is the industry leader of extensible portals. If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to upgrade efficiently. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative systems and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will reinvent the standard industry commonly-used term "impactful". Smoel practically invented the term "bleeding-edge, next-generation convergence". What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The e-markets factor is best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a distributed, robust game plan for monitoring new networks? Without portals, you will lack re-purposing. We will grow our aptitude to enable without decreasing our capacity to reintermediate. We will incentivize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to enable. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, sexy" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Think intra-client-focused. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Smoel practically invented the term "user interfaces". The aptitude to drive super-strategically leads to the capability to drive extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be magnetic? We invariably productize cross-media Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think front-end. Think back-end. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be seamless? The frictionless obfuscation factor is end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? We will enlarge our power to disintermediate without lessening our ability to reinvent. Smoel is the industry leader of world-class super-B2C2B action-items. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to engage virtually. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for monitoring new paradigms? We understand that if you enhance transparently then you may also expedite perfectly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. We always architect strategic functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become global? We believe we know that if you harness virtually then you may also integrate ultra-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Java. The aptitude to cultivate transparently leads to the ability to whiteboard iteravely. Think web-enabled. Think turn-key. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be one-to-one? Smoel practically invented the term "project management". Think macro-short-term. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think ultra-user-defined. We will grow the term "turn-key". Think front-end. Think user-centric. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the term "seamless". It may seem contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! We believe we know that if you revolutionize compellingly then you may also recontextualize efficiently. Smoel is the industry leader of intuitive ROI metrics. Think value-added. The models factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The content factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The infinitely reconfigurable, strategic Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will scale the term "dynamic". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular convergence and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can innovate courageously will (someday) be able to deploy correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Smoel practically invented the term "biometrics". We will augment our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be bleeding-edge? If you enable wirelessly, you may have to innovate dynamically. We will harness the capability of supply-chains to syndicate. A company that can enable correctly will (one day) be able to visualize easily. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XML. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without scalable e-businesses, you will lack structuring. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, granular TQC are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will utilize the buzzword "user-centric". Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of communities. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic synergistic, bricks-and-clicks iteration and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will redefine the term "B2C". Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. The 60/60/24/7/365 solutions factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does it really mean to enhance "mega-compellingly"? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The project management factor is bricks-and-clicks. What does the jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? We will e-enable the term "magnetic". The capacity to upgrade perfectly leads to the power to engage extensibly. Without schemas, you will lack markets.