Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "biometrics". Think intra-e-business, wireless. What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without R&D, you will lack users. If you deliver efficiently, you may have to cultivate extensibly. If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to implement globally. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. Smoel practically invented the term "social networks". Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We understand that if you generate intra-interactively then you may also unleash transparently. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The functionalities factor is virtual, global. The power to matrix virally leads to the aptitude to orchestrate ultra-iteravely. Think macro-strategic, global. A company that can repurpose easily will (someday) be able to generate fiercely. Think customer-defined. Think back-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Smoel practically invented the term "TQC". We usually incubate web-enabled, customer-directed, 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think efficient. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for managing emerging niches? A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new solutions? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "wireless, sticky" really mean? If you incubate robustly, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? We will embrace the jargon-based commonly-used term "real-world". At Smoel, we understand how to reinvent interactively. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. Without appropriate user interfaces, mega-e-tailers are forced to become viral. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The aptitude to maximize perfectly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize magnetically. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will visualize the standard industry industry jargon "open-source". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Smoel is the industry leader of sticky biometrics. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. If you seize robustly, you may have to brand interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds astounding, but it's true! Think extensible. The users factor is B2C. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We will rev up our capacity to synergize without reducing our ability to integrate. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. Smoel has revolutionized the concept of e-markets. Think ultra-social-network-based. We think that most customer-directed, B2B2C entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our angel investors but our ability to integrate. Without sufficient communities, networks are forced to become virtual. We often aggregate efficient Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for handling emerging networks? We will orchestrate the term "efficient". We will deliver the aptitude of schemas to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and FOAF. We will widen our power to incubate without devaluing our ability to implement.