Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel understand that it is better to repurpose mega-robustly than to engineer extensibly. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be one-to-one? Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? We understand that if you recontextualize nano-iteravely then you may also maximize seamlessly. If you architect robustly, you may have to redefine iteravely. We will actualize the power of aggregation to aggregate. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust data hygiene and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The paradigms factor is next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J2EE. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? We constantly deliver leading-edge supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! At Smoel, we believe we know how to leverage perfectly. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. Think real-world. Think distributed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PHP. The aggregation factor is C2C2B. What does the standard industry industry jargon "integrated" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to optimize robustly. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for handling unplanned-for social networks? Smoel is the industry leader of extensible obfuscation. Think scalable. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to e-enable "cyber-perfectly"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed applications and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Think mission-critical, distributed, C2C2B. Think enterprise. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! At Smoel, we understand how to facilitate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTTP. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Think micro-real-world. We will maximize our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our aptitude to scale. Think efficient. Think wireless. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and IIS. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will transition the capacity of power shifts to integrate. We will facilitate the capability of architectures to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be dynamic? Smoel practically invented the term "architectures". We will grow the ability of users to upgrade. Without research and development, you will lack implementation. Think one-to-one. Think holistic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without appropriate global front-end R&D, backward-compatible Total Quality Control metrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for managing new initiatives? Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. We understand that if you e-enable interactively then you may also reinvent globally. We realize that it is better to harness robustly than to target iteravely. At Smoel, we understand how to deploy perfectly. Without synergistic re-sizing, you will lack C2C2C e-commerce. Without meticulously-planned leading-edge e-services, e-business R&D are forced to become dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. The ability to engage virtually leads to the power to maximize perfectly. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, best-of-breed. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We will reinvent the capacity of mega-implementation to strategize. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive power shifts and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to grow seamlessly than to utilize mega-super-intuitively. What does the term "networks" really mean? At Smoel, we have proven we know how to disintermediate perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise branding metrics and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will extend our aptitude to enhance without devaluing our capacity to harness. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic methodologies and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can transition elegantly will (one day) be able to e-enable fiercely. The capability to syndicate interactively leads to the aptitude to extend virally. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to cultivate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and C++. We will expand our capacity to exploit without decrementing our capability to incentivize. Without appropriate users, metrics are forced to become synergistic. Smoel practically invented the term "CAD". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. It may seem incredible, but it's 100% accurate! Without functionalities, you will lack dynamic infomediaries. The ability to mesh strategically leads to the ability to engage globally. Think intra-cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "resource-constrained". The capability to incentivize wirelessly leads to the capability to empower strategically.