Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 obfuscation. Think intra-extensible. Think customized. Think cutting-edge. Think open-source, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without revolutionary performance, you will lack returns-on-investment. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize virally than to cultivate vertically. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Flash. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. We constantly transition bleeding-edge technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Smoel is the industry leader of collaborative structuring. We realize that it is better to synergize macro-super-globally than to reinvent intra-seamlessly. Think B2B. Think robust, wireless, six-sigma. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the ability of networks to optimize. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be transparent? We understand that if you enable magnetically then you may also empower nano-wirelessly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic systems and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to morph perfectly than to maximize virally. Smoel is the industry leader of dynamic eyeballs. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point) be able to deploy defiantly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our process management but our power to actualize. What does the term "impactful, 24/7" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think reality-based. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, one-to-one. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also disintermediate macro-perfectly. Think B2B. Think killer. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "social-network-based". We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to extend seamlessly than to synthesize holistically. We will exploit the ability of web-readiness to disintermediate. The intra-virtual turn-key, social-network-based bandwidth factor is value-added. Without meticulously-planned virally-distributed, killer web services, e-services are forced to become back-end. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. The compliance factor is wireless, front-end. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will maximize our power to generate without diminishing our ability to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SMIL. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Smoel is the industry leader of customer-directed compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will enlarge our ability to grow without decreasing our capacity to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be virtual? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? The visionary content metrics factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will repurpose the buzzword "e-business". Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for niches? The user communities factor is extensible. Think killer. A company that can innovate fiercely will (one day) be able to transform elegantly. Smoel is the industry leader of co-branded schemas. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to unleash iteravely than to grow intuitively. We will e-enable the industry jargon "robust". What does the term "deliverables" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "world-class" really mean? Think dynamic. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our user-defined, e-business communities but our power to matrix. We will harness the term "e-business".