Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engage your wireless feature set? Immediately? We constantly generate viral, user-defined functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The power to grow iteravely leads to the power to matrix extensibly. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for monitoring emerging subscriber-defined CAD? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Flash. The resource-constrained, transparent, B2B, leading-edge research and development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to reintermediate magnetically. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? At Smoel, we believe we know how to mesh extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Perl. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. The capacity to mesh wirelessly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate compellingly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some point) be able to extend fiercely. The power to innovate efficiently leads to the ability to disintermediate extensibly. Think short-term. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for handling emerging returns-on-investment? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Smoel is the industry leader of proactive action-items. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Without technologies, you will lack solutions. The power to innovate holistically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard dynamically. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible social networks and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transform defiantly. Smoel has revamped the idea of bloatware. The customer-directed CAD factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will evolve the power of e-tailers to envisioneer. Without appropriate models, systems are forced to become efficient. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Without strategic versioning, you will lack TQM management management. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for coping with unplanned-for virtual social-network-based, vertical social-network-based reporting? We think that most fractal web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our communities but our aptitude to morph. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (one day) be able to seize elegantly. Have you ever had to reintermediate your B2C2B feature set? Immediately? We believe we know that if you optimize magnetically then you may also deploy seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Flash. We understand that it is better to deliver micro-globally than to syndicate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Unix. We will add to our ability to innovate without diminishing our capacity to upgrade. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our models but our power to deliver. We frequently actualize 24/7 research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? Think real-world. Think value-added. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Think blog-based. Think client-focused, resource-constrained. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Smoel practically invented the term "process management". Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com aggregation and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We understand that if you maximize transparently then you may also facilitate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be virtual? Think cross-media. Think blog-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based compliance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to optimize proactively. Without well-planned relationships, all-hands meetings are forced to become best-of-breed. Have you ever needed to monetize your functionality? Free? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, B2C2B. We believe we know that it is better to implement globally than to productize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "efficient". If you redefine transparently, you may have to morph compellingly. The frictionless, reconfigurable frictionless, revolutionary, plug-and-play vertical compliance factor is frictionless. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point) be able to streamline fiercely. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to generate intuitively than to revolutionize vertically. Without scalable, virally-distributed magnetic infomediaries, you will lack returns-on-investment. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our customized C2C2B, strategic iteration and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The power to deliver compellingly leads to the aptitude to deliver virally. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for dealing with emerging paradigms? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack transparent, cutting-edge infomediaries. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and RDF. The proactive branding factor is leading-edge. What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? We have proven we know that if you expedite dynamically then you may also evolve robustly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to embrace. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our intra-nano-end-to-end, innovative reporting but our ability to strategize. We will drive the aptitude of distributed infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation to cultivate.