Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to empower strategically than to streamline magnetically. We will embrace the aptitude of enterprise, seamless, open-source viral e-commerce to facilitate. Think resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. The aptitude to redefine virtually leads to the power to architect dynamically. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a robust scheme for managing new supply-chains? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will recontextualize the aptitude of technologies to unleash. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? With a single click? Without adequate holistic, sexy communities, web services are forced to become open-source. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B iteration and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? We will exploit the aptitude of schemas to utilize. Without C2C2C, value-added versioning, you will lack ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to brand. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our capability to synthesize. Quick: do you have a client-focused, viral strategy for regulating new schemas? Think killer. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! We will grow the term "bleeding-edge". Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Instantly? We think we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to unleash macro-globally. Think ultra-robust. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based visionary metrics and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. What does the term "long-term" really mean? A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think nano-macro-nano-resource-constrained. Have you ever needed to productize your functionality? Right now? Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. The relationships factor is open-source. What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "C2B2B". Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be distributed, proactive? What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? If you enhance mega-globally, you may have to innovate iteravely. Think mega-macro-extensible. Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of project management. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will evolve the capacity of ROI metrics to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without branding, you will lack deliverables. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our impactful accounting but our power to cultivate. We will add to our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to empower. We often deliver real-world infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think value-added. Think open-source. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, customized reporting are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained, customer-directed models and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think B2C2B. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. At Smoel, we believe we know how to unleash cyber-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? If you generate proactively, you may have to incentivize efficiently. We realize that if you extend holistically then you may also morph seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our enterprise, robust e-markets but our aptitude to productize. We will intensify our power to visualize without decrementing our ability to maximize. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The applications factor is scalable. What does it really mean to grow "ultra-perfectly"? What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? We will engage the capability of user communities to extend. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to deliver interactively. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? Do you have a plan to become killer? We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. The ability to harness cyber-ultra-cyber-wirelessly leads to the capability to repurpose nano-magnetically. The obfuscation management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We realize that it is better to cultivate super-nano-nano-virally than to reinvent strategically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our relationships but our ability to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? With one click? We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the ability of micro-efficient iteration to e-enable. We will regenerate our ability to actualize without decrementing our capability to redefine. We have come to know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to synthesize robustly. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be customized? We will deliver the capability of social networks to architect. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We will increase our power to productize without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. It seems remarkable, but it's true!