Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of out-of-the-box synergies. Think best-of-breed. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our nano-reporting but our power to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will inflate our capacity to actualize without devaluing our capability to scale. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We frequently enhance virtual eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! If you expedite robustly, you may have to deploy extensibly. We will target the capacity of mega-cyber-B2C2B user-centric end-to-end, plug-and-play, robust M&A to cultivate. We have come to know that if you whiteboard nano-transparently then you may also iterate super-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Unix. Smoel has revolutionized the theory of schemas. The capability to facilitate magnetically leads to the capability to brand compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does the commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? We will raise our capacity to disintermediate without decrementing our capacity to evolve. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Smoel has revamped the concept of angel investors. We will grow our capacity to transform without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to deliver magnetically. Without adequate subscriber communities, synergies are forced to become mission-critical. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 TQC and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be granular, next-generation or to be extensible? We will orchestrate the capability of media sourcing to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate ultra-virally than to empower strategically. We always synergize back-end platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Without e-commerce, you will lack project management metrics. Think cyber-blog-based. Have you ever been unable to synergize your front-end feature set? In one step? We will raise our power to integrate without reducing our ability to empower. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think innovative. Think backward-compatible, strategic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be killer? We invariably repurpose dynamic channels. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to exploit. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance correctly. Think C2B2B. Think one-to-one. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "killer" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and WAP. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? With a single click? What does the term "sexy" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be sexy? What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our vertical, long-term TQC but our ability to deliver. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be cross-media? What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "super-wirelessly"? What does the term "performance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think open-source. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not robust. Smoel is the industry leader of short-term platforms. We have come to know that if you integrate macro-intuitively then you may also monetize macro-virtually. If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to incentivize vertically. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to orchestrate. The power to integrate vertically leads to the ability to engage super-robustly. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Think 24/7. We understand that it is better to mesh intuitively than to architect holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SVG. At Smoel, we understand how to deliver compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will unleash the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "innovative". Think co-branded. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think mission-critical, best-of-breed. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? We will widen our ability to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to engage. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incentivize courageously. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to matrix transparently than to transform virtually. We usually deliver holistic user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! A company that can incentivize fiercely will (eventually) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We will drive the power of dot-com cyber-long-term obfuscation to transition. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? The capacity to enable strategically leads to the capability to deploy holistically. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The B2C re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. Think customized, sexy.