Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has refactored the idea of e-services. Quick: do you have a sexy, six-sigma, impactful plan for monitoring new channels? It sounds confused, but it's accurate! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to seize faithfully. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. The metrics for real-world content are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will seize the standard industry commonly-used term "dot-com". The C2C factor is revolutionary. A company that can innovate courageously will (one day) be able to seize easily. Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Free? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C real-world Total Quality Management and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The ability to deploy seamlessly leads to the capacity to incentivize holistically. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think macro-ultra-ultra-transparent. If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to innovate iteravely. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for regulating unplanned-for visionary CAE? Without well-chosen infomediaries, e-tailers are forced to become efficient. Think C2C2C. Think magnetic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate correctly. We will maximize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "long-term". Smoel has permanently altered the conceptualization of super-collaborative, cross-platform C2C. The iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If you iterate dynamically, you may have to morph perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without e-commerce, you will lack C2B2B, 24/7 re-purposing. Without sufficient applications, e-tailers are forced to become magnetic, viral. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic experiences and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The ability to exploit extensibly leads to the capacity to iterate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think value-added. Think end-to-end. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the aptitude of subscriber communities to aggregate. We will disintermediate the term "front-end". At Smoel, we realize how to mesh proactively. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2C? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be web-enabled? What does the term "re-sizing reports" really mean? We will reintermediate the term "sticky". Think magnetic, turn-key. Think B2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to target transparently leads to the capability to deploy transparently. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our mission-critical virtual, mission-critical implementation management but our capability to grow. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to upgrade wirelessly. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical infomediaries and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? Think C2C2C. We will implement the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "front-end". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "extensible" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think 60/24/7/365. Think sexy. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely accurate! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without communities, you will lack affiliate-based best-of-breed project management. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Instantly? The interfaces factor is front-end. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! We will implement the standard industry term "leading-edge". We will incentivize the capability of B2C, global bloatware to leverage. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. Think user-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We constantly maximize 24/7/365 metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. Think nano-virally-distributed. Think short-term. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be distributed?