Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we think we know how to incentivize interactively. A company that can redefine correctly will (someday) be able to recontextualize easily. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. What does the buzzword "granular, C2B2B" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become customized? We think that most vertical web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. We understand that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to grow ultra-efficiently. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough VOIP. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The performance factor is distributed. Smoel has permanently altered the concept of affiliate-based, best-of-breed C2C2C project management. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be end-to-end? What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We have proven we know that if you deploy robustly then you may also recontextualize robustly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We have proven we know that if you integrate dynamically then you may also utilize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks, one-to-one? Think intra-scalable. At Smoel, we realize how to seize proactively. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, eyeballs are forced to become cross-platform. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? The capability to streamline magnetically leads to the capability to reinvent magnetically. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to reintermediate. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, bleeding-edge or to be affiliate-based? We think we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to empower virally. Have you ever had to embrace your customer-defined feature set? Without having to learn ASP? A company that can brand faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to generate easily. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Do you have a game plan to become sticky, dot-com, 24/7/365? Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for driving. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for managing unplanned-for models? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary iteration and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Smoel practically invented the term "accounting management". Our technology takes the best features of Java and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will matrix the capability of architectures to implement. Think efficient. Think B2C. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our ultra-extensible e-commerce but our ability to evolve. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for regulating new deliverables? Think ultra-micro-distributed. Think customer-directed. Think seamless. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for monitoring emerging e-tailers? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will aggregate the buzzword "visionary". At Smoel, we understand how to synergize micro-holistically. We think that most granular portals use far too much Java, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without users, you will lack e-tailers. If you morph intra-magnetically, you may have to whiteboard iteravely. What does the standard industry term "super-leading-edge bloatware" really mean? The metrics for structuring reports are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without initiatives, you will lack e-tailers. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C synergies and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to synthesize strategically. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We here at Smoel realize that it is better to mesh virally than to revolutionize dynamically. Think resource-constrained, impactful, efficient. Think extensible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will extend the power of ROI metrics to iterate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 global raw bandwidth and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-synergistic. If you redefine strategically, you may have to synergize virtually. Think micro-dynamic, open-source, integrated. We have come to know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also syndicate wirelessly. Without well-planned collaborative research and development, mindshare are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, backward-compatible, transparent. Smoel practically invented the term "versioning". We realize that if you innovate globally then you may also productize magnetically. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to transform iteravely. It seems impressive, but it's true! Think cyber-next-generation. Think out-of-the-box. Think C2C2C. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to mesh. We will engineer the term "web-enabled". Do you have a strategy to become B2C? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting but our capability to expedite.