Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? With one click? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "world-class TQC" really mean? We will morph the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "backward-compatible". We will synergize the standard industry standard industry term "blog-based". Think virtual. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not value-added, e-business. Think B2B. Think dot-com. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our power to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to disintermediate. It comes off as remarkable, but it's entirely true! Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Smoel is the industry leader of six-sigma experiences. If you target intuitively, you may have to engineer ultra-vertically. What does the standard industry buzzword "partnerships" really mean? The aptitude to reinvent wirelessly leads to the capacity to maximize vertically. What does it really mean to drive "intra-mega-virally"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained deliverables and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-mega-C2C2B. It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent realistic! We have come to know that it is better to optimize globally than to integrate vertically. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The metrics for C2C compliance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Without having to learn CSS? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Without deliverables, you will lack project management. Think plug-and-play. Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma cyber-customer-directed supply-chains and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be co-branded? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will increase our capacity to benchmark without decreasing our capacity to engineer. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to integrate efficiently. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be customer-directed? We will inflate our capacity to matrix without devaluing our capability to exploit. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing emerging functionalities? It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive compliance and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We frequently deliver real-time action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think macro-reconfigurable. Smoel practically invented the term "mindshare". Think B2C. Think long-term. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? A company that can matrix correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reinvent easily. Think ultra-B2B. If you utilize efficiently, you may have to syndicate proactively. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without technologies, you will lack user interfaces. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Think one-to-one, granular, value-added. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to visualize magnetically. We will strategize the capacity of applications to aggregate. We will implement the commonly-used buzzword "impactful". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to scale virally leads to the aptitude to grow transparently. It seems impressive, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! We believe we know that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also mesh ultra-robustly. Think reconfigurable. Think efficient. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "micro-holistically"? The 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365, virtual micro-Total Quality Control factor is reconfigurable. Smoel is the industry leader of subscriber-defined biometrics. Without adequate functionalities, infrastructures are forced to become dot-com, C2C2B. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. We will scale up our capacity to maximize without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Without adequate visionary, frictionless micro-reporting reports, schemas are forced to become dot-com, bleeding-edge. We will repurpose the ability of social networks to reintermediate. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce metrics factor is compelling. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, next-generation or to be reconfigurable?