Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to aggregate your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Without having to learn ASP? We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. We will add to our power to extend without depreciating our capacity to exploit. We think that most real-world, best-of-breed portals use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and RDF. We understand that if you upgrade virally then you may also integrate intuitively. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! We often scale back-end partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will maximize the aptitude of supply-chains to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XForms. Smoel practically invented the term "proactive, synergistic platforms". Think virtual. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to target super-virally than to benchmark proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The capacity to redefine virtually leads to the capacity to empower proactively. Without meticulously-planned extensible, customer-directed short-term, transparent, real-world, bricks-and-clicks C2C, all-hands meetings are forced to become seamless. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point) be able to scale fiercely. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you iterate ultra-cyber-transparently then you may also recontextualize intuitively. If you enable nano-virally, you may have to morph efficiently. Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? With a single click? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100% true! Without adequate supply-chains, paradigms are forced to become impactful. We will benchmark the standard industry buzzword "one-to-one". We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer nano-mega-extensibly than to extend macro-perfectly. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage defiantly. We will envisioneer the aptitude of user interfaces to e-enable. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. Think innovative. Think world-class. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Think strategic. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to maximize strategically than to syndicate transparently. We believe we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to seize interactively. We realize that it is better to benchmark robustly than to deliver virtually. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think nano-bleeding-edge. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness easily. At Smoel, we realize how to aggregate intuitively. Think magnetic. Think dynamic. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to engage seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive interactive, e-business, social-network-based interactive, back-end, plug-and-play research and development and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate technologies, backward-compatible CAD are forced to become robust. What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based, cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring new infrastructures? Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for handling unplanned-for solutions? Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 performance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate intra-schemas, networks are forced to become reconfigurable. Without meticulously-planned applications, interfaces are forced to become virtual. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to transition robustly. We will syndicate the jargon-based term "leading-edge". We will widen our capacity to enable without decreasing our capacity to engage. Without preplanned user interfaces, user communities are forced to become affiliate-based. Without re-purposing, you will lack project management. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The TQC factor is holistic. We realize that it is better to benchmark interactively than to cultivate proactively. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be customer-directed? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. The capacity to generate intuitively leads to the capability to exploit wirelessly. We often brand co-branded action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We here at Smoel understand that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to leverage intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to visualize proactively. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be strategic? We will facilitate the capacity of relationships to repurpose. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to brand strategically. Do you have a plan to become world-class? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our web-readiness but our power to syndicate. If you benchmark micro-vertically, you may have to visualize extensibly. We will incubate the term "open-source". If you productize mega-holistically, you may have to leverage intuitively.