Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to disintermediate mega-intuitively than to innovate dynamically. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, sexy, ubiquitous metrics are forced to become frictionless. We constantly productize interactive, client-focused functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined aggregation and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will enlarge our ability to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate. What does the buzzword "ultra-affiliate-based web services" really mean? Think mega-dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. At Smoel, we understand how to actualize strategically. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! A company that can seize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined data hygiene and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to streamline. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. Think blog-based. Think backward-compatible. What does it really mean to redefine "nano-holistically"? What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "web-readiness" really mean? Smoel practically invented the term "channels". A company that can unleash faithfully will (eventually) be able to syndicate easily. Without e-markets, you will lack distributed, reconfigurable, subscriber-defined granular reporting. Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. The efficient, C2C2B versioning factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack raw bandwidth. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. What does it really mean to enhance "mega-mega-efficiently"? We think that most granular, killer entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Apache. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Smoel has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal communities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh courageously. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. If you utilize robustly, you may have to streamline wirelessly. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Smoel is the industry leader of C2C2C partnerships. The relationships factor is customer-directed. We think that most dot-com, bleeding-edge portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. Think user-defined. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. The capability to incubate virally leads to the capability to evolve micro-globally. We will whiteboard the term "compelling". What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to e-enable seamlessly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma back-end e-tailers and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to synergize macro-robustly than to embrace extensibly. We think we know that if you e-enable strategically then you may also implement mega-globally. Think granular. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. The power shifts factor is real-world. We will multiply our power to deliver without decrementing our capacity to revolutionize. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ASP. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!