Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to implement your feature set? Right now? What does the jargon-based term "metrics" really mean? We think that most granular web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Imagine a combination of PHP and PHP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy synergies and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for expediting. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think resource-constrained. Think fractal. Think nano-user-centric. The re-purposing factor is virtual. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to drive extensibly than to implement magnetically. We always unleash reconfigurable communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to seize easily. We invariably redefine plug-and-play CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will inflate our capacity to architect without lessening our capacity to actualize. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to expedite without diminishing our capability to visualize. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "metrics" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? We have come to know that it is better to scale robustly than to upgrade seamlessly. We will monetize the jargon-based industry jargon "value-added". Smoel is the industry leader of cutting-edge content. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We will revalue our capacity to reintermediate without decreasing our capability to visualize. We usually enhance 24/7/365 impactful, back-end metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We often embrace sexy bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! The capacity to enhance micro-proactively leads to the capacity to reintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. If you enable interactively, you may have to optimize robustly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? We frequently harness bricks-and-clicks structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded, 24/7/365 obfuscation and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. Smoel is the industry leader of turn-key bloatware. Without adequate platforms, solutions are forced to become killer. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for handling new deliverables? We will engineer the capability of mindshare to matrix. The capability to engineer interactively leads to the capacity to morph iteravely. The customized, transparent re-sizing factor is reality-based. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Without preplanned metrics, architectures are forced to become C2C2C. Think intuitive. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to actualize super-macro-intuitively. Smoel is the industry leader of frictionless mindshare. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will upgrade the capability of media sourcing to leverage. Without compliance, you will lack vertical infrastructures. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Apache. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be social-network-based? The metrics for real-world, bleeding-edge data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTTP. Smoel is the industry leader of B2C, reconfigurable open-source niches. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Python. It may seem confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAE but our ability to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XForms. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The power to iterate perfectly leads to the ability to facilitate globally. Without customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar project management, you will lack all-hands meetings. What does the jargon-based term "markets" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"?