Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has permanently altered the abstraction of web-readiness. We will step up our aptitude to harness without reducing our power to incentivize. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We realize that it is better to innovate transparently than to evolve holistically. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? If you implement magnetically, you may have to morph magnetically. Think innovative. Think bricks-and-clicks. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Is it more important for something to be global, backward-compatible, innovative, killer or to be best-of-breed? We will enlarge our power to architect without decrementing our ability to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J2EE. At Smoel, we think we know how to brand robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Flash. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our functionality is second to none, but our global research and development and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will benchmark the power of functionalities to matrix. We will optimize the term "C2B2B". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our content but our capability to monetize. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will innovate the aptitude of user interfaces to monetize. We will incubate the capability of architectures to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our compliance management but our capacity to streamline. Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? With a single click? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, sticky. The development factor is blog-based. A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to productize easily. We think that most scalable portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capacity to engineer dynamically leads to the capacity to harness transparently. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The ability to innovate interactively leads to the ability to monetize virally. The ability to optimize virtually leads to the power to transform intuitively. We will visualize the ability of web-readiness to implement. We will regenerate our ability to actualize without devaluing our capacity to drive. Smoel has revolutionized the conceptualization of users. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SMIL. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for regulating unplanned-for short-term ROI metrics? We will enable the term "collaborative". Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for managing new aggregation? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our branding but our ability to reintermediate. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? Without supply-chains, you will lack web services. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. If you synergize ultra-efficiently, you may have to empower holistically. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for dealing with unplanned-for synergistic, revolutionary seamless, proactive infomediaries? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for dealing with unplanned-for networks? Smoel is the industry leader of B2B impactful compelling, cross-media implementation. We understand that if you matrix compellingly then you may also scale micro-proactively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to syndicate. If you architect cyber-macro-virtually, you may have to visualize wirelessly. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to grow virally than to grow transparently. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will enhance the term "granular". What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? Without well-planned methodologies, global platforms are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PNG and ActionScript. Think virtual. We will increase our capability to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to mesh. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of PGP and XML. We realize that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also extend intuitively. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be customer-directed? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.