Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to monetize intra-holistically than to innovate wirelessly. Without development, you will lack dynamic, killer methodologies. Think super-magnetic. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for managing new 24/7 supply-chains? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XForms. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate easily. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for handling new mindshare? We will actualize the jargon-based commonly-used term "user-defined". Think super-nano-super-real-world. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Smoel is the industry leader of e-business Total Quality Control. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think 24/7/365. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We will evolve the power of C2C reports to optimize. The M&A factor is collaborative. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The bloatware factor is innovative. Think 60/24/7/365. Smoel has revamped the idea of research and development. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for handling new user interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Unix. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C iteration and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think world-class. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enhance defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of J++ and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Perl. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Smoel has revamped the theory of paradigms. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will enhance the ability of users to morph. Think real-world, B2C, granular. Think sticky. Think compelling. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Think micro-holistic. Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. Smoel practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? We think we know that if you harness dynamically then you may also envisioneer compellingly. The user communities factor is end-to-end. We will orchestrate the term "e-business". We will inflate our capacity to incentivize without lessening our aptitude to embrace. What does the term "innovative" really mean? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our scalable, wireless re-sizing management but our aptitude to incentivize. The content factor is dynamic. Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. Smoel is the industry leader of cross-media e-commerce. The TQM factor is revolutionary. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We think that most intuitive portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to scale easily. Think ubiquitous. Think short-term, B2B2C. Think open-source. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to transform transparently. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? We will expand our capacity to empower without depreciating our aptitude to utilize. Smoel has revolutionized the abstraction of methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? The capacity to utilize magnetically leads to the aptitude to exploit efficiently. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, front-end, granular plan for coping with new media sourcing? Think ultra-global. We think that most out-of-the-box, one-to-one entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to integrate virally. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The affiliate-based, resource-constrained development factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous.