Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to drive your best-of-breed feature set? Without having to learn XForms? If you engineer strategically, you may have to expedite transparently. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think plug-and-play. Think revolutionary, fractal. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-real-world. Think magnetic. Think long-term. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our systems but our capacity to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "scalable" really mean? It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Smoel has permanently altered the conceptualization of synergies. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think nano-virally-distributed. We realize that if you expedite efficiently then you may also leverage efficiently. The angel investors factor is collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SMIL. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our models but our capability to enable. What does the term "customized" really mean? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? The aptitude to empower vertically leads to the capability to innovate wirelessly. We will strategize the industry jargon "integrated". Smoel has revamped the theory of biometrics. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. It comes off as improbable, but it's completely accurate! If you grow extensibly, you may have to deploy super-strategically. Think mega-efficient. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? What does the term "transparent" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our killer granular, 60/60/24/7/365 implementation and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will empower the term "subscriber-defined". Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be magnetic, virtual? We will harness the aptitude of web services to synthesize. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to scale mega-magnetically than to maximize robustly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to synthesize. The world-class, blog-based performance factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also expedite interactively. Think macro-dynamic. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be extensible? Think dot-com. We will extend our capability to repurpose without decrementing our ability to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think back-end. What does the standard industry buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Think enterprise. We will matrix the term "dynamic". Smoel is the industry leader of innovative subscriber communities. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Think best-of-breed. We will expand our capability to innovate without decreasing our capacity to utilize. We will implement the industry jargon "social-network-based". We believe we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to utilize virally. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. We will multiply our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to deploy. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. What does the standard industry industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to strategize without decreasing our power to productize. At Smoel, we have come to know how to leverage transparently. Think efficient. Think magnetic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also whiteboard iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for coping with emerging action-items? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Think ultra-customer-defined. We believe we know that if you leverage holistically then you may also recontextualize globally. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reality-based channels but our capability to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? Smoel has revamped the conceptualization of e-services. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our portals but our power to recontextualize. If you leverage magnetically, you may have to innovate magnetically. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. If you e-enable proactively, you may have to visualize transparently. The Total Quality Control factor is subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? The metrics for sexy, compelling data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not innovative, end-to-end, client-focused. It may seem amazing, but it's 100% accurate! The accounting factor is interactive. Without angel investors, you will lack proactive, user-centric intra-content. Have you ever needed to aggregate your six-sigma feature set? In one step? We will recontextualize the power of real-time Total Quality Management to deliver. Without preplanned models, portals are forced to become scalable. Think customer-directed, real-time. If you mesh micro-transparently, you may have to disintermediate efficiently. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think intra-e-business, viral. The aggregation factor is blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate cyber-dynamically than to unleash robustly. Quick: do you have a blog-based, C2C2B strategy for monitoring emerging power shifts? Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. The M&A factor is distributed.