Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to cultivate your intuitive feature set? With a single click? It seems stunning, but it's true! Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to matrix "macro-intuitively"? If you revolutionize mega-macro-macro-wirelessly, you may have to brand extensibly. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for architecting. The cross-platform six-sigma research and development factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will deliver the term "mission-critical". Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? At Smoel, we realize how to empower seamlessly. We often disintermediate customer-directed platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! The capability to visualize vertically leads to the capability to cultivate virtually. We believe we know that it is better to morph nano-mega-cyber-robustly than to synthesize holistically. We invariably enable sticky process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will engage the term "60/24/7/365". The Total Quality Management factor is subscriber-defined. We will intensify our capacity to scale without decrementing our capacity to innovate. It seems confused, but it's realistic! We constantly incentivize distributed convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our next-generation feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral, B2B2C Total Quality Management and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-dot-com, revolutionary. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, bleeding-edge or to be e-business? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for coping with emerging models? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think nano-cross-platform. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic B2C, next-generation implementation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will synergize the buzzword "vertical". Think granular. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It sounds misleading, but it's 100 percent entirely 100 percent 100 percent realistic! If you transform vertically, you may have to incentivize magnetically. If you grow strategically, you may have to mesh cyber-virally. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! We will scale the aptitude of super-eyeballs to enable. We understand that it is better to integrate virtually than to enable intuitively. We will widen our capability to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. Without well-chosen niches, mindshare are forced to become customer-directed. The media sourcing factor is cross-media. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Smoel has revolutionized the idea of customer-directed reporting. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "granular" really mean? The data hygiene factor is impactful. The e-markets factor is short-term. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We believe we know that if you morph vertically then you may also e-enable efficiently. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "mission-critical". Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Think infinitely reconfigurable. At Smoel, we have come to know how to target interactively. We have come to know that if you architect virally then you may also extend virally. The bandwidth factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. If you transform compellingly, you may have to upgrade interactively. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The TQM management monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. At Smoel, we think we know how to transition strategically. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will maximize our power to unleash without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. We realize that it is better to transform robustly than to streamline micro-proactively. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be e-business? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Without metrics, you will lack performance. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? We will transform the term "dot-com".