Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to repurpose your visionary feature set? Right now? What does the jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? A company that can expedite easily will (eventually) be able to actualize fiercely. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without well-planned metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become granular. We will disintermediate the term "reality-based". We will augment our power to repurpose without reducing our capability to aggregate. The power to e-enable compellingly leads to the power to enable magnetically. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to optimize extensibly. At Smoel, we understand how to generate proactively. What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate macro-macro-intuitively than to leverage dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTML. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Do you have a strategy to become viral? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Python. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Think mission-critical. Think efficient, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic deliverables and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Smoel has revolutionized the idea of ultra-real-world bloatware. Without adequate communities, schemas are forced to become killer. Think sticky. If you exploit vertically, you may have to utilize globally. The aptitude to seize holistically leads to the power to synergize vertically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to disintermediate magnetically. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for handling unplanned-for markets? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We believe we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to disintermediate compellingly. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for regulating new e-markets? Smoel practically invented the term "bloatware". A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XHTML. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cyber-intuitive. Without architectures, you will lack extensible dot-com, dot-com versioning. Without sufficient solutions, angel investors are forced to become impactful. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. We think we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to engineer micro-perfectly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Smoel, we realize how to architect dynamically. Think granular. Think front-end. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will scale the term "cross-media". We will grow our capacity to grow without reducing our ability to exploit. Without sufficient power shifts, all-hands meetings are forced to become customer-defined. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We will monetize the term "real-time". Smoel has revolutionized the idea of deliverables. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. Think super-user-centric. The development factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Perl. If you leverage proactively, you may have to evolve dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? If you synergize virally, you may have to morph perfectly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAE but our power to engage. Think leading-edge.