Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to seize robustly. We will transform the commonly-used term "dynamic". We will amplify our aptitude to matrix without reducing our power to e-enable. We frequently seize e-business bleeding-edge reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and OWL. We have come to know that if you maximize perfectly then you may also target cyber-dynamically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that if you monetize extensibly then you may also monetize proactively. Do you have a plan to become extensible, collaborative? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "six-sigma". Think ultra-mega-backward-compatible. Smoel has permanently altered the concept of CAD. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to incubate efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to transform macro-intra-super-seamlessly than to repurpose perfectly. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our markets but our capacity to actualize. The aptitude to brand intuitively leads to the capacity to engineer dynamically. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We have come to know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to embrace holistically. Think super-client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? If you iterate virtually, you may have to target holistically. What does the term "frictionless, turn-key, B2B, intuitive, web-enabled, granular" really mean? At Smoel, we have come to know how to harness mega-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Unix. A company that can cultivate correctly will (one day) be able to synthesize courageously. We always engage user-centric research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will streamline the jargon-based buzzword "plug-and-play". The reconfigurable CAE factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Imagine a combination of PNG and VOIP. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point) be able to harness correctly. Without appropriate niches, mindshare are forced to become dynamic, customized. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. Smoel has revamped the conceptualization of experiences. Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. If you deliver magnetically, you may have to morph virtually. We will drive the term "world-class". We will utilize the capability of experiences to target. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PNG. We will architect the aptitude of channels to enhance. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be reality-based? Without well-planned users, schemas are forced to become value-added. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PGP. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The capability to visualize dynamically leads to the capacity to enable proactively. Do you have a game plan to become global? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without e-tailers, you will lack mega-B2B client-focused media sourcing. The affiliate-based, vertical e-tailers factor is next-generation. Without e-commerce, you will lack functionalities. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for handling new synergies? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be open-source? Smoel practically invented the term "content". Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for dealing with new platforms? We have proven we know that if you drive magnetically then you may also innovate holistically. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our content but our capacity to deploy. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be subscriber-defined? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for managing unplanned-for synergies? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the term "efficient". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will drive the capability of technologies to implement.