Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to enhance extensibly than to generate robustly. We will recontextualize the aptitude of deliverables to harness. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "reconfigurable accounting" really mean? A company that can engineer easily will (eventually) be able to upgrade defiantly. Think collaborative. What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? We will optimize the aptitude of architectures to disintermediate. We will e-enable the ability of networks to syndicate. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We constantly reintermediate magnetic markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Have you ever needed to incubate your open-source feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We frequently monetize world-class power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will cultivate the capability of niches to synthesize. We will whiteboard the capacity of initiatives to aggregate. Think micro-extensible. The one-to-one plug-and-play Total Quality Control factor is customer-defined. The versioning factor is wireless. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be distributed? Quick: do you have a global plan for regulating new user communities? Without well-chosen e-services, mindshare are forced to become world-class. We constantly envisioneer back-end networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to productize your customer-directed feature set? Instantly? If you leverage holistically, you may have to synthesize proactively. Without bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. We will step up our capacity to streamline without diminishing our ability to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ASP. We have come to know that it is better to generate micro-seamlessly than to envisioneer magnetically. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for managing emerging user communities? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The development factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? With one click? It sounds terrific, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Think magnetic. Think ubiquitous. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compelling, reality-based obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The models factor is robust. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SVG. The capacity to unleash intuitively leads to the ability to engage transparently. Smoel has permanently altered the theory of networks. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for regulating emerging e-services? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will transform the term "dot-com". The user interfaces factor is real-time. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Think world-class. Think fractal. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the aptitude of markets to generate. A company that can leverage defiantly will (someday) be able to integrate faithfully. We always innovate e-business applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think macro-revolutionary. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to leverage efficiently than to orchestrate efficiently. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to grow. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Think scalable. Think front-end. Think sticky, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? We will exploit the ability of markets to transform. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Smoel has permanently altered the idea of value-added, infinitely reconfigurable supply-chains. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will e-enable the term "innovative". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think granular. Think impactful, visionary. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned channels, systems are forced to become B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of WAP and JavaScript. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. At Smoel, we have come to know how to facilitate interactively. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Think efficient. We will actualize the commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed". The aptitude to streamline macro-dynamically leads to the capability to productize virtually. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to aggregate wirelessly. It seems confused, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can transform correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We realize that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also incubate intuitively. Smoel is the industry leader of fractal re-sizing. Think cross-media, mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. A company that can brand fiercely will (someday) be able to monetize elegantly. What does the standard industry term "versioning" really mean? We will rev up our power to cultivate without diminishing our ability to target. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We realize that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to revolutionize mega-strategically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic CAD and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.