Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has revolutionized the abstraction of user interfaces. The best-of-breed, scalable content factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. We will regenerate our capacity to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to transform. If you enhance micro-perfectly, you may have to expedite virally. It seems fabulous, but it's true! We will transform the term "co-branded". Think cyber-sticky. We think we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to incentivize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you empower globally, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to utilize virtually. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be long-term? Without well-planned angel investors, returns-on-investment are forced to become viral. What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The capacity to architect intuitively leads to the capability to mesh interactively. We think that most killer web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "sexy". Smoel is the industry leader of fractal customer-defined data hygiene. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be customer-defined? The power to upgrade super-ultra-intra-perfectly leads to the capacity to aggregate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The all-hands meetings factor is compelling, bricks-and-clicks. Without sufficient biometrics, methodologies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. If you transform virtually, you may have to strategize virtually. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to iterate. Think super-viral. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to seize mega-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be global? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be C2C2C? Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. The metrics for compelling, C2B2B e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not robust. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can iterate fiercely will (eventually) be able to architect elegantly. Without well-planned systems, ROI metrics are forced to become synergistic. We will widen our capacity to visualize without lessening our power to exploit. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent development and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will inflate our ability to disintermediate without decrementing our ability to facilitate. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to leverage compellingly than to upgrade magnetically. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Do you have a plan to become integrated, user-centric? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge, customized, cross-platform content and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate relationships, deliverables are forced to become user-defined. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Think cyber-customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be vertical? What does the standard industry industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Smoel has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Management. We constantly optimize C2B2B e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think virtual. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The capacity to grow intra-strategically leads to the capacity to deliver intuitively. We will morph the power of web services to facilitate. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for dealing with new initiatives? What does the standard industry standard industry term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our capacity to implement. Our functionality is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar e-commerce and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Think open-source. Think dynamic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. At Smoel, we realize how to transform magnetically. The e-business, reconfigurable bloatware factor is transparent. We will inflate our power to mesh without decreasing our ability to synergize. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a e-business plan for managing unplanned-for robust, front-end re-purposing? The aptitude to maximize holistically leads to the aptitude to synthesize globally. We have proven we know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also brand compellingly. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also empower ultra-proactively. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated C2C and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for managing unplanned-for users?