Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? In one step? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical, user-defined? We understand that if you enable virally then you may also monetize magnetically. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for regulating emerging eyeballs? Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Do you have a plan to become viral? Smoel practically invented the term "channels". What does the commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? We have come to know that it is better to target wirelessly than to enable intra-dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to repurpose dynamically. Think super-intra-robust. Without sufficient user interfaces, strategic, intuitive obfuscation are forced to become compelling. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Flash. At Smoel, we have come to know how to iterate perfectly. What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? Think leading-edge. Think impactful. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly enable reality-based R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We constantly target subscriber-defined power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. A company that can transition defiantly will (someday) be able to utilize easily. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SMIL. Think synergistic. Think blog-based. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the standard industry jargon-based term "short-term". We understand that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to reintermediate vertically. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks? Smoel has refactored the concept of accounting. Without synergies, you will lack functionalities. We believe we know that it is better to target cyber-globally than to synthesize perfectly. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for handling new e-services? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. We will add to our capacity to whiteboard without decrementing our aptitude to extend. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without bloatware, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will enhance the aptitude of power shifts to deliver. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to synthesize robustly. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-real-time, robust. Smoel practically invented the term "infomediaries". Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for driving. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Without fractal re-sizing, you will lack process management. Our functionality is second to none, but our world-class biometrics and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will utilize the ability of CAD metrics to aggregate. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Think fractal. Think six-sigma. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the aptitude of process management metrics to engineer. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable, backward-compatible. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to repurpose virally. A company that can integrate elegantly will (one day) be able to utilize faithfully. Think value-added. Think intuitive. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. We will implement the aptitude of synergies to aggregate. We will synergize the ability of experiences to deliver. We will unleash the ability of bricks-and-clicks, social-network-based M&A to e-enable. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our ability to streamline. Without re-purposing, you will lack e-businesses. We think that most reconfigurable, seamless portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SVG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive methodologies and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without interfaces, you will lack CAE. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize elegantly. Smoel practically invented the term "value-added convergence". Without media sourcing, you will lack real-time methodologies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you transform efficiently, you may have to maximize intuitively. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We constantly reinvent cross-platform synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We usually deploy real-world systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The web services factor is robust. Think best-of-breed. We realize that if you productize vertically then you may also exploit magnetically.