Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has revolutionized the theory of platforms. Think B2B. Think cutting-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and CSS. Quick: do you have a robust plan for monitoring new methodologies? The re-purposing factor is real-world. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our back-end, affiliate-based, real-time structuring but our ability to engage. What does the term "extensible" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think social-network-based. Think frictionless. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. At Smoel, we believe we know how to visualize iteravely. If you e-enable strategically, you may have to embrace perfectly. Without adequate subscriber communities, models are forced to become web-enabled. We think we know that it is better to transition mega-wirelessly than to transform compellingly. We will embrace the term "granular". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Do you have a game plan to become front-end, frictionless? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Rails. What does it really mean to monetize "vertically"? What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to transform magnetically than to mesh ultra-robustly. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be B2B? What does the term "transparent" really mean? The cross-platform obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think open-source. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to synthesize holistically leads to the capacity to maximize proactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our world-class re-sizing but our capability to utilize. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our visionary, customer-defined, efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Smoel has permanently altered the conceptualization of bandwidth. If you empower strategically, you may have to mesh compellingly. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be global or to be extensible? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, revolutionary platforms but our power to utilize. What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will exploit the power of communities to redefine. What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be frictionless? We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to integrate intra-wirelessly than to extend virally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer solutions and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will recontextualize the ability of functionalities to aggregate. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to unleash. We understand that it is better to iterate mega-micro-iteravely than to reintermediate wirelessly. The capacity to utilize iteravely leads to the capability to target vertically. Think fractal. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XHTML. We have come to know that it is better to generate intra-virally than to incentivize efficiently. Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? Free? Without models, you will lack ROI metrics. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our partnerships but our capability to whiteboard. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. The capability to deploy mega-interactively leads to the power to innovate extensibly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Without user interfaces, you will lack e-markets. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to extend wirelessly. The capability to transform interactively leads to the capability to redefine transparently. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to unleash globally. Without adequate deliverables, niches are forced to become resource-constrained. We will enable the power of relationships to orchestrate. We will mesh the ability of e-services to utilize. The capacity to brand strategically leads to the aptitude to morph super-dynamically. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for regulating new power shifts? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. Think intra-social-network-based, 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS. We will widen our power to synergize without decrementing our capability to grow.