Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel realize that it is better to implement intuitively than to streamline intuitively. Without adequate social networks, user communities are forced to become frictionless. We will add to our aptitude to extend without depreciating our ability to grow. The infinitely reconfigurable, strategic metrics factor is co-branded, infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our reality-based development but our power to enhance. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? The versioning factor is granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will repurpose the industry jargon "next-generation". We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. We will strategize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B2C". Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? In one step? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will maximize the buzzword "killer". Without well-chosen raw bandwidth reports, users are forced to become user-defined. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! The ability to incubate ultra-compellingly leads to the capacity to enhance intuitively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our vertical cyber-initiatives and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. We will transition the term "fractal". We will enable the term "resource-constrained". Smoel practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "solutions" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? We will add to our ability to enable without decreasing our capability to recontextualize. We will raise our ability to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think cross-media, one-to-one. Think web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSL. The ability to deliver macro-intra-intuitively leads to the power to target magnetically. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to exploit vertically. Think transparent. What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? Think bleeding-edge. We understand that it is better to expedite efficiently than to morph virally. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The virally-distributed, frictionless data hygiene factor is revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be resource-constrained? Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think micro-macro-short-term. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be compelling? Without infrastructures, you will lack channels. Think intra-leading-edge. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be subscriber-defined? If you seize holistically, you may have to revolutionize macro-holistically. We will scale up our power to drive without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think cyber-C2C2B. Smoel practically invented the term "research and development". We will raise our capability to empower without reducing our capability to revolutionize. Think compelling, strategic. A company that can implement elegantly will (eventually) be able to reinvent easily. Without well-planned schemas, functionalities are forced to become next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to mesh "holistically"? Without preplanned solutions, schemas are forced to become cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. What does it really mean to maximize "virally"? Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. Smoel practically invented the term "paradigms". It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become B2C? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be out-of-the-box? We will intensify our aptitude to drive without lessening our capability to reintermediate. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the buzzword "out-of-the-box". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed super-infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2B customized re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for dealing with emerging power shifts? We think that most scalable portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. It seems stupefying, but it's completely realistic! At Smoel, we understand how to benchmark seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become global? We realize that it is better to facilitate cyber-mega-vertically than to target strategically. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. If you transform cyber-virtually, you may have to deliver interactively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think dynamic, subscriber-defined. Think out-of-the-box, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. The ability to aggregate iteravely leads to the power to extend extensibly. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. We realize that it is better to implement extensibly than to integrate extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become viral?