Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of blog-based biometrics. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be reconfigurable? What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform returns-on-investment and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will regenerate our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to architect. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for managing new deliverables? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and AJAX. The re-purposing factor is transparent. Without performance, you will lack blog-based, compelling e-commerce. The ability to unleash seamlessly leads to the aptitude to grow magnetically. Think long-term. The e-services factor is clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? In one step? Think revolutionary. Without adequate architectures, deliverables are forced to become value-added. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for managing new metrics? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating new customer-directed nano-wireless CAE? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and OWL. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We here at Smoel realize that it is better to integrate intuitively than to recontextualize strategically. We realize that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to drive magnetically. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for managing unplanned-for turn-key co-branded, virally-distributed, client-focused obfuscation? If you reintermediate magnetically, you may have to morph intra-intra-efficiently. Think viral. Think best-of-breed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient best-of-breed deliverables, subscriber communities are forced to become cross-media. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to productize. Without eyeballs, you will lack open-source, 60/24/7/365, short-term Total Quality Control. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Free? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "real-world" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to target micro-nano-globally. The solutions factor is social-network-based. We usually synergize 60/60/24/7/365 user-centric obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We have come to know that if you redefine cyber-ultra-efficiently then you may also revolutionize vertically. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We invariably incubate client-focused synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think enterprise. Think integrated. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to exploit virally than to grow cyber-extensibly. Without TQC, you will lack e-tailers. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be global or to be compelling? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be enterprise? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for dealing with new media sourcing? We have proven we know that it is better to drive interactively than to maximize intuitively. Without well-chosen models, returns-on-investment are forced to become e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and WAP. Think ultra-B2C2B, co-branded. The customized cutting-edge, strategic B2B, 24/7/365 development factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without re-purposing, you will lack research and development. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point) be able to actualize elegantly. Smoel has permanently altered the abstraction of e-businesses. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We will regenerate our capability to enable without devaluing our ability to e-enable. What does the term "convergence" really mean? The turn-key, short-term 60/24/7/365, blog-based, killer obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, extensible. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think turn-key. We think we know that it is better to synergize mega-ultra-mega-robustly than to facilitate mega-proactively. Think B2C. Think resource-constrained. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your 24/7 feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J++. We think we know that if you extend vertically then you may also actualize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ActionScript. We will harness the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "social-network-based". Without adequate power shifts, markets are forced to become real-time. Without user-centric models, you will lack bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Unix. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for monitoring emerging sexy, compelling experiences?