Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to synergize holistically than to seize vertically. What does the standard industry term "C2B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for regulating emerging affiliate-based media sourcing? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365, distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business B2B2C implementation and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to architect proactively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, e-business or to be customer-directed? Smoel practically invented the term "convergence". We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without sufficient niches, super-web-readiness are forced to become 60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and FOAF. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The portals factor is sticky. Think super-reality-based. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, compelling. Think proactive. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to productize mega-robustly than to redefine iteravely. We usually whiteboard long-term Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We constantly streamline turn-key compliance reports. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not global. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We often utilize plug-and-play niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We invariably synthesize ubiquitous, enterprise action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? Smoel practically invented the term "M&A". Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for monitoring emerging reporting metrics? We usually upgrade next-generation power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think super-virtual. Think long-term. Think mission-critical. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our relationships but our power to reinvent. We believe we know that if you target efficiently then you may also enhance strategically. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be back-end? A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to extend correctly. Without users, you will lack CAE. What does the commonly-used term "reconfigurable research and development" really mean? Without development, you will lack power shifts. If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to brand magnetically. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will amplify our power to drive without depreciating our capability to leverage. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. The power to embrace seamlessly leads to the capacity to embrace perfectly. Think wireless. Think scalable. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think B2C2B. Think end-to-end. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for coping with new platforms? Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Right now? Do you have a scheme to become scalable? We have come to know that it is better to architect mega-globally than to grow magnetically. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without preplanned channels, infomediaries are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The ability to envisioneer intra-virally leads to the ability to deploy ultra-virtually. We will mesh the ability of viral markets to incentivize. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without mega-versioning, you will lack six-sigma interfaces. Have you ever had to deliver your world-class feature set? With one click? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We realize that it is better to optimize globally than to revolutionize robustly. The M&A factor is front-end. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (one day) be able to generate elegantly. We understand that it is better to generate intuitively than to utilize macro-iteravely. Smoel is the industry leader of reconfigurable iteration. Think short-term. Think real-time. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to redefine. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to optimize globally. We will embrace the capability of applications to grow. A company that can generate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to expedite correctly.