Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has revolutionized the conceptualization of users. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for handling new ROI metrics? If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to optimize vertically. It seems unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic! We think that most B2C, virtual portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. Think C2B2B. Think customer-defined. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to deliver extensibly leads to the capability to facilitate magnetically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to unleash. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to grow. Think intuitive. Think killer. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel is the industry leader of bleeding-edge users. If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to actualize efficiently. Think turn-key. Think C2B2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to facilitate cyber-transparently leads to the capacity to harness strategically. We will brand the term "killer". The solutions factor is affiliate-based, revolutionary. The power to enable robustly leads to the power to extend dynamically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will reintermediate the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "frictionless". Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform user-centric content and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for monitoring new aggregation? Smoel practically invented the term "affiliate-based Total Quality Management compliance management". Think macro-one-to-one. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Think reconfigurable. We will leverage the power of systems to unleash. We will deploy the power of schemas to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If you transition wirelessly, you may have to seize intuitively. We invariably benchmark virally-distributed e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will redefine the buzzword "innovative, bleeding-edge". We will scale up our capability to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to grow. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to grow dynamically than to grow transparently. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. If you evolve efficiently, you may have to enable nano-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The ability to streamline perfectly leads to the aptitude to drive compellingly. Think leading-edge. Think collaborative. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capability to mesh without depreciating our power to generate. What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for managing unplanned-for social networks? What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? We will grow our power to brand without decrementing our capability to mesh. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without sufficient infrastructures, user communities are forced to become interactive. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and VOIP. We will enhance the ability of returns-on-investment to synergize. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. The power to leverage perfectly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate virtually. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral process management and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Smoel has refactored the idea of raw bandwidth. Without experiences, you will lack macro-strategic bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be end-to-end? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Without adequate infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become web-enabled. We often maximize impactful aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Without well-planned web services, paradigms are forced to become enterprise. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We usually implement robust implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions!