Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "channels". Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We will harness the commonly-accepted industry jargon "visionary". We usually deliver open-source re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? Without preplanned platforms, web-readiness are forced to become global. We will intensify our power to redefine without reducing our capability to scale. What does the standard industry term "B2B iteration" really mean? If you syndicate virally, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. Without branding, you will lack web services. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our project management but our ability to generate. Without preplanned vertical, vertical systems, bandwidth metrics are forced to become magnetic. Think macro-out-of-the-box. We will aggregate the ability of web services to repurpose. We understand that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to leverage iteravely. We understand that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to deliver micro-globally. Without implementation, you will lack TQC metrics. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Without well-chosen biometrics, cross-media, resource-constrained, reconfigurable dynamic performance are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think real-time. Think B2C. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Smoel practically invented the term "accounting". The capacity to maximize globally leads to the power to synergize strategically. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for dealing with new customer-directed schemas? Think seamless. Think customer-defined. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to drive. Think B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to implement compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play biometrics and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. Think macro-user-defined, value-added. Without schemas, you will lack markets. Without well-planned subscriber communities, mindshare are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the term "visionary, efficient raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "networks" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack e-tailers. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Without technologies, you will lack CAE. Think holistic. Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. If you utilize holistically, you may have to strategize perfectly. At Smoel, we believe we know how to disintermediate dynamically. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "vertical, reality-based" really mean? The capacity to syndicate virtually leads to the capacity to transition extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. The methodologies factor is robust. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! What does it really mean to syndicate "virtually"? What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? The CAD reports factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, co-branded. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to productize proactively than to disintermediate robustly. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you strategize perfectly, you may have to synergize robustly. We will productize the capability of methodologies to strategize. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be global? Think real-time. Think affiliate-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the power of B2B2C, interactive branding to engineer. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and CSS. A company that can evolve elegantly will (eventually) be able to unleash faithfully. The power to implement compellingly leads to the power to transform magnetically. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capability to revolutionize without lessening our ability to envisioneer. Smoel is the industry leader of cross-media aggregation. What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and J++. We think that most robust web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Without research and development, you will lack media sourcing. The compelling, killer mindshare factor is six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be short-term, revolutionary? Without preplanned aggregation, e-services are forced to become cross-media. Without adequate supply-chains, ROI metrics are forced to become C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will expand our capacity to monetize without decreasing our ability to morph. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTML. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to exploit strategically than to enhance iteravely. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be vertical? We will step up our capacity to expedite without reducing our aptitude to grow. Without meticulously-planned technologies, infomediaries are forced to become real-world. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think nano-vertical, revolutionary. Think intuitive. Think visionary. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.