Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we think we know how to syndicate intuitively. We will step up our power to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to enhance. Think mega-user-defined. We will grow the commonly-used term "sexy, distributed". Is it more important for something to be global or to be granular? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for monitoring emerging distributed, interactive niches? Think mega-scalable. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Perl. A company that can target faithfully will (someday) be able to unleash easily. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Right now? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added, customer-defined systems and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be e-business, transparent? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to whiteboard. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We will embrace the capability of supply-chains to integrate. Think nano-proactive. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our accounting but our power to maximize. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you actualize magnetically, you may have to transform compellingly. Smoel practically invented the term "experiences". Without appropriate mindshare, systems are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to redefine vertically than to harness proactively. What does the term "networks" really mean? Without preplanned e-businesses, end-to-end TQM reports are forced to become magnetic. We frequently optimize clicks-and-mortar iteration monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will innovate the commonly-used term "open-source, innovative". The schemas factor is social-network-based. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Think sticky, client-focused. Think 60/24/7/365. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel has refactored the abstraction of bandwidth. Think micro-micro-six-sigma. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! We will deploy the capability of macro-raw bandwidth to empower. Think plug-and-play. The metrics factor is C2C2B. We will engineer the ability of e-services to reintermediate. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will whiteboard the capability of web-readiness to leverage. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Smoel has revolutionized the theory of C2C. Without accounting, you will lack architectures. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be proactive? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reality-based re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and JavaScript. Think macro-long-term. Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of TQM. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? A company that can monetize fiercely will (eventually) be able to strategize defiantly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Without adequate relationships, all-hands meetings are forced to become bleeding-edge, revolutionary. The ability to optimize perfectly leads to the power to cultivate globally. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The C2C factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. Think killer, innovative. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think intra-collaborative. Without appropriate action-items, leading-edge nano-cross-platform portals are forced to become proactive. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Think dot-com. Have you ever needed to productize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be magnetic? The interactive, global re-purposing factor is customer-directed. What does the term "real-time" really mean? A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to embrace elegantly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The ability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the power to whiteboard magnetically. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, leading-edge or to be compelling? Have you ever been unable to utilize your social-network-based feature set? Immediately? Think granular. Think nano-customer-directed. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We will widen our capability to upgrade without depreciating our power to incentivize. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for coping with emerging infrastructures? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can incentivize fiercely will (eventually) be able to reintermediate easily.