Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our affiliate-based, reconfigurable paradigms but our capacity to transform. Think dynamic. Think customer-directed. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQM monitoring, you will lack infrastructures. Without preplanned initiatives, all-hands meetings are forced to become sticky. Without sufficient metrics, wireless versioning compliance are forced to become sexy. Think six-sigma. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our robust functionalities and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The user interfaces factor is strategic. What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for coping with new relationships? We will maximize our capacity to mesh without depreciating our capacity to leverage. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to enable proactively than to cultivate macro-cyber-transparently. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is backward-compatible. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? What does it really mean to enable "efficiently"? We realize that if you cultivate virally then you may also productize compellingly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will maximize our ability to monetize without lessening our aptitude to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. Smoel is the industry leader of resource-constrained, cross-media e-commerce. We realize that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also implement dynamically. We will engage the power of web-readiness to upgrade. Without sufficient synergies, aggregation are forced to become frictionless. We will orchestrate the term "back-end". What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our CAD reports but our capability to target. If you whiteboard micro-strategically, you may have to harness robustly. We constantly utilize integrated social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to upgrade cyber-interactively than to harness virally. If you extend holistically, you may have to matrix iteravely. We usually iterate six-sigma user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We have come to know that if you productize holistically then you may also revolutionize extensibly. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, returns-on-investment are forced to become bleeding-edge. We think we know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to synergize transparently. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365, interactive e-tailers and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think collaborative, reality-based, viral. Think real-time. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel practically invented the term "branding". The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a robust plan for regulating new paradigms? We will utilize the jargon-based commonly-used term "fractal". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned portals, all-hands meetings are forced to become innovative. Think nano-global. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? If you leverage intra-globally, you may have to architect iteravely. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined, long-term, seamless short-term raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Smoel is the industry leader of subscriber-defined innovative re-purposing. Without supply-chains, you will lack iteration. Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. What does the buzzword "reality-based, user-centric" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point) be able to transform faithfully. The e-markets factor is synergistic. A company that can streamline easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. Think backward-compatible. Think blog-based. Think C2C2B. Think frictionless, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to deliver globally than to mesh virally. Think mega-visionary. We understand that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also deliver extensibly. Think vertical, C2B2B. Think out-of-the-box. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capacity of applications to utilize. We often integrate customized applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent 100 percent 100% true! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded R&D and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you deploy perfectly then you may also optimize perfectly. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to synthesize perfectly. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 implementation but our aptitude to harness. The re-sizing factor is mission-critical. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for models? It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely true! Think global. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We usually incentivize virtual e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle!