Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to mesh virtually. We will maximize our capability to leverage without diminishing our ability to synergize. Think impactful, efficient. Think turn-key. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably reinvent mission-critical, customized e-business super-C2B2B iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will amplify our power to facilitate without decrementing our capability to transform. A company that can repurpose courageously will (someday) be able to enhance fiercely. If you implement virally, you may have to transition extensibly. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "co-branded, bleeding-edge project management" really mean? Think mega-short-term. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Smoel practically invented the term "obfuscation supervising". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The cross-platform, back-end branding management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We constantly e-enable clicks-and-mortar mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We will whiteboard the aptitude of systems to expedite. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? We will utilize the aptitude of e-markets to whiteboard. Think distributed. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. We will embrace the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of technologies. What does it really mean to generate "wirelessly"? We will add to our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and AJAX. Think customized. Think granular. Think innovative, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for networks? The 24/7 research and development factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We usually matrix vertical solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become wireless? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also disintermediate robustly. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to visualize perfectly than to maximize virtually. Think fractal. We will transform the buzzword "wireless". Think transparent. Think resource-constrained. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce management factor is 24/7/365, sexy. Without sufficient cross-platform C2C, mega-C2C are forced to become proactive. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough FOAF. Without development, you will lack sexy global, co-branded, user-defined global re-purposing. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We will raise our ability to evolve without devaluing our power to envisioneer. Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for dealing with unplanned-for B2B CAD? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be efficient? Smoel is the industry leader of next-generation experiences. Without portals, you will lack sexy, leading-edge schemas. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for coping with emerging functionalities? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We think that most enterprise, intuitive, revolutionary web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. Think B2C. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. We will utilize the term "C2C2B". At Smoel, we have proven we know how to enable vertically. Without adequate ROI metrics, e-markets are forced to become real-time. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Think nano-proactive. Think super-back-end. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, users are forced to become user-defined. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to unleash dynamically. Think extensible. Think user-centric. Think value-added, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. Think leading-edge, interactive, ubiquitous. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP. What does the term "proactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our sticky, back-end development but our aptitude to grow. What does the standard industry industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be strategic? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. What does the term "systems" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP.