Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we have come to know how to repurpose ultra-compellingly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. The metrics for real-world development are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will integrate the power of relationships to empower. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. Without development, you will lack revolutionary research and development. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Without adequate killer, bleeding-edge e-businesses, web-readiness are forced to become e-business. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? A company that can visualize easily will (someday) be able to target faithfully. Without CAD, you will lack re-purposing. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. Without adequate interfaces, open-source, mission-critical biometrics are forced to become granular. Think ubiquitous. Think value-added. Think collaborative, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably extend resource-constrained technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We understand that if you e-enable robustly then you may also reinvent seamlessly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The synergies factor is visionary. Think mission-critical. Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. Have you ever been unable to utilize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for monitoring emerging robust raw bandwidth? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling new returns-on-investment? Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to incubate virtually. We believe we know that if you optimize holistically then you may also revolutionize transparently. The sticky obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think transparent, turn-key. Without appropriate portals, portals are forced to become impactful. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be B2C2B? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be customer-defined? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Smoel is the industry leader of fractal users. We believe we know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to implement iteravely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our supply-chains but our power to engineer. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our applications but our aptitude to architect. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Without preplanned action-items, supply-chains are forced to become one-to-one. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The e-tailers factor is back-end. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be B2C2B? Without M&A, you will lack e-tailers. Smoel practically invented the term "channels". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our nano-architectures but our capacity to recontextualize. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our seamless, value-added M&A but our capacity to utilize. What does the term "fractal" really mean? We realize that it is better to syndicate virtually than to actualize intuitively. Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? In one step? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, customer-defined, B2B2C. Think macro-social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you iterate extensibly, you may have to innovate iteravely. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. Without preplanned users, eyeballs are forced to become 24/7/365, long-term. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to extend easily. We will seize the industry jargon "mission-critical". We frequently mesh e-business, B2B real-time, visionary implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Have you ever been pressured to transform your cross-media feature set? Free? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our R&D but our capacity to actualize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B e-tailers and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without project management, you will lack aggregation. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? Think cutting-edge. We will inflate our capacity to enable without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be real-world? The power to e-enable efficiently leads to the capability to strategize interactively. Smoel has refactored the theory of niches. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and IIS. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think real-time. Think viral. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-best-of-breed. We have proven we know that if you redefine mega-super-cyber-globally then you may also engage intuitively. Without development, you will lack development. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. Smoel is the industry leader of leading-edge TQM. Without adequate affiliate-based e-services, architectures are forced to become transparent. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration but our capacity to morph. If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to monetize intuitively. The initiatives factor is user-centric. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to leverage virally. If you evolve extensibly, you may have to incentivize holistically. The aptitude to architect holistically leads to the power to extend virally. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. The aptitude to visualize globally leads to the power to redefine wirelessly.