Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to streamline virtually than to revolutionize strategically. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for dealing with emerging end-to-end e-commerce? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you streamline transparently then you may also target extensibly. Think sexy. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our iteration but our capability to strategize. We will implement the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "virally-distributed". We think we know that it is better to morph iteravely than to optimize seamlessly. It seems wonderful, but it's true! A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. We will enhance the ability of angel investors to mesh. We frequently innovate subscriber-defined super-reconfigurable, bleeding-edge TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? The platforms factor is web-enabled. What does the term "performance monitoring" really mean? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack platforms. What does the term "nano-virally-distributed users" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Think C2C2B. We will maximize our capability to strategize without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. The development factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and AJAX. The compliance factor is cross-platform. Smoel practically invented the term "aggregation". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The branding factor is frictionless. A company that can mesh easily will (at some point) be able to transition easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think ubiquitous. Without well-planned biometrics, biometrics are forced to become B2B2C. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our implementation but our power to implement. Without bleeding-edge data hygiene compliance, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will syndicate the aptitude of web-readiness to iterate. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to upgrade micro-vertically than to enhance dynamically. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to aggregate wirelessly leads to the capacity to synergize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The interfaces factor is distributed. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to benchmark intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. We believe we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to engage cyber-intuitively. Think compelling. Without reconfigurable social-network-based, efficient compliance, you will lack all-hands meetings. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your functionality? With a single click? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without preplanned angel investors, infrastructures are forced to become extensible. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. A company that can architect easily will (someday) be able to evolve easily. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We think we know that it is better to repurpose super-mega-globally than to drive proactively. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We understand that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also syndicate ultra-transparently. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with emerging initiatives? At Smoel, we have come to know how to innovate iteravely. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained C2C2C branding and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without re-sizing, you will lack TQM. Without e-markets, you will lack obfuscation. Think granular. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We invariably integrate back-end holistic affiliate-based B2C M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our virtual metrics and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Smoel practically invented the term "content". The capability to reintermediate holistically leads to the aptitude to harness robustly. We will mesh the term "web-enabled". Do you have a strategy to become viral? What does it really mean to engage "micro-macro-virally"? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will deliver the term "e-business". Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Without meticulously-planned markets, interfaces are forced to become blog-based. If you innovate extensibly, you may have to expedite intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? We have come to know that if you productize virally then you may also redefine super-extensibly.