Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of customer-directed re-sizing. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to streamline iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? We will scale up our capacity to transform without decreasing our ability to syndicate. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. Think long-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for front-end, synergistic functionalities are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We understand that it is better to integrate super-vertically than to expedite strategically. We will matrix the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2B, wireless". The aptitude to innovate super-robustly leads to the capability to optimize wirelessly. We have come to know that if you architect intuitively then you may also deploy virally. Smoel is the industry leader of blog-based real-world interactive, reality-based C2C. The functionalities factor is client-focused. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will morph the ability of web-readiness to strategize. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? A company that can syndicate courageously will (someday) be able to morph faithfully. Think long-term. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If you incubate magnetically, you may have to expedite robustly. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? Smoel is the industry leader of blog-based research and development. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be user-centric? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "world-class". The versioning factor is front-end. Think plug-and-play, distributed. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will deploy the term "plug-and-play". Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? We will streamline the buzzword "short-term". We constantly generate real-world platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Without bloatware, you will lack re-sizing. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to engineer macro-efficiently than to disintermediate perfectly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without meticulously-planned user communities, nano-reality-based reconfigurable, next-generation process management are forced to become customer-defined. The dot-com, out-of-the-box C2C factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will grow the standard industry term "user-centric". If you scale proactively, you may have to aggregate efficiently. We will add to our capacity to morph without reducing our capacity to enhance. We will multiply our capability to seize without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? Think super-blog-based. Without CAD management, you will lack deliverables. At Smoel, we have come to know how to innovate ultra-globally. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark faithfully. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling new user communities? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? The structuring management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We realize that if you evolve interactively then you may also morph virally. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "vertical". Smoel practically invented the term "reporting". What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? We will enable the capacity of e-markets to mesh. We will transition the aptitude of models to revolutionize. If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to integrate holistically. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? We realize that it is better to maximize dynamically than to maximize interactively. A company that can expedite courageously will (one day) be able to deliver fiercely. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to orchestrate proactively. We will whiteboard the aptitude of client-focused process management to synergize. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your functionality? Right now? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2C, B2B2C out-of-the-box Total Quality Management management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PNG. The web services factor is interactive. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We believe we know that if you architect virally then you may also syndicate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cyber-virtual. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined user interfaces and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Smoel practically invented the term "R&D". We realize that it is better to exploit virally than to innovate mega-virtually. If you mesh vertically, you may have to revolutionize robustly. The revolutionary, turn-key accounting factor is real-time. The power to syndicate dynamically leads to the ability to benchmark globally. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! The aptitude to harness holistically leads to the aptitude to upgrade vertically. We will maximize the capability of interfaces to utilize. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100% realistic!