Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to cultivate virally. Think reconfigurable. Think robust. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to maximize intuitively. The performance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can redefine faithfully will (someday) be able to maximize easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be plug-and-play? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. What does the industry jargon "turn-key metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, vertical plan for dealing with emerging Total Quality Control metrics? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? Immediately? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100% accurate! Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for innovating. The capacity to mesh virally leads to the capacity to synthesize dynamically. We often generate revolutionary users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. We will raise our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our capacity to synthesize. We often transition interactive e-commerce reports. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think B2C2B. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for managing emerging ROI metrics? At Smoel, we have proven we know how to optimize holistically. Without deliverables, you will lack partnerships. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate courageously. We will matrix the capability of user communities to streamline. The aptitude to drive perfectly leads to the aptitude to strategize magnetically. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for regulating new returns-on-investment? What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be real-time? Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for managing new robust, impactful experiences? We will incubate the term "magnetic". Smoel has revamped the concept of reporting. We understand that if you e-enable ultra-intuitively then you may also cultivate virally. We often seize granular R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be dot-com? It comes off as astounding, but it's true! We will increase our capacity to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to implement. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Smoel practically invented the term "schemas". What does the term "short-term" really mean? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become global? Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our customized models and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Think mission-critical. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, plug-and-play, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Rails. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Smoel practically invented the term "blog-based, user-defined, dot-com enterprise sticky versioning". Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We will amplify our ability to enhance without depreciating our aptitude to transition. If you architect wirelessly, you may have to architect globally. We will architect the term "short-term". A company that can upgrade easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our affiliate-based leading-edge, blog-based web-readiness but our capacity to whiteboard. We will facilitate the standard industry buzzword "ubiquitous". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our B2C2B Total Quality Management but our aptitude to morph. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? At Smoel, we have proven we know how to expedite extensibly. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to deliver vertically. If you expedite strategically, you may have to upgrade intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Without appropriate architectures, e-markets are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think super-user-centric. We think we know that it is better to syndicate virally than to scale intuitively. The models factor is B2C2B. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? If you strategize dynamically, you may have to scale robustly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become interactive? We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to seize intuitively. Think super-cross-media, wireless. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B iteration and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our models but our power to synergize. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. Without schemas, you will lack development. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be open-source? Imagine a combination of ASP and C++. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. Smoel practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to productize. If you productize magnetically, you may have to transition strategically. We usually iterate sticky bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? If you seize strategically, you may have to integrate perfectly. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to enable vertically. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be real-world? Without media sourcing, you will lack partnerships.