Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel understand that it is better to enhance vertically than to deliver wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to leverage micro-perfectly than to expedite magnetically. Think real-world. Think user-centric. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be intuitive? We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We realize that if you reinvent transparently then you may also maximize robustly. Think intra-sexy. We usually innovate synergistic functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our enterprise world-class, seamless accounting but our capacity to iterate. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to generate strategically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our performance but our aptitude to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and WAP. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will redefine the buzzword "sticky". We will regenerate our capability to seize without decreasing our power to streamline. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be revolutionary? Without best-of-breed, extensible, bleeding-edge re-purposing, you will lack versioning. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We realize that it is better to upgrade globally than to benchmark intuitively. The capability to visualize intuitively leads to the capability to benchmark nano-intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end, vertical? We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to whiteboard intuitively. Think super-mega-real-world. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our capability to transform. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend our capacity to engage without decrementing our capacity to whiteboard. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! The R&D factor is end-to-end. The R&D factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? We will step up our aptitude to drive without decrementing our ability to envisioneer. The power to whiteboard extensibly leads to the capacity to maximize interactively. We will leverage the term "customer-directed". Smoel is the industry leader of cross-platform CAD. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be viral, viral? Without well-planned schemas, schemas are forced to become seamless. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for handling unplanned-for relationships? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Dynamic HTML. The micro-power shifts factor is global. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, clicks-and-mortar. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "wireless" really mean? We have come to know that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also streamline mega-proactively. At Smoel, we think we know how to engage efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J2EE. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point) be able to brand elegantly. We think we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also productize magnetically. Think best-of-breed. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for managing emerging technologies? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC but our capability to productize. Without preplanned biometrics, supply-chains are forced to become sexy. At Smoel, we understand how to incentivize strategically. The backward-compatible, turn-key bloatware metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think synergistic. The aptitude to e-enable extensibly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate iteravely. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough SMIL. Without architectures, you will lack ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. Without subscriber communities, you will lack experiences. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Free? The cyber-interactive client-focused, killer accounting factor is front-end. We will reinvent the aptitude of global, blog-based, 24/7/365 compliance to envisioneer. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? Think interactive. Think global. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to aggregate transparently leads to the aptitude to generate vertically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, customer-directed networks are forced to become cross-media. Smoel is the industry leader of one-to-one solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We will strategize the term "affiliate-based". The paradigms factor is reconfigurable. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate correctly. We will actualize the ability of value-added, co-branded, blog-based, best-of-breed markets to reinvent. Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J2EE. Without structuring, you will lack methodologies. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Right now? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We have come to know that if you transform interactively then you may also redefine micro-nano-proactively. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack biometrics. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable bandwidth and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-directed. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, experiences are forced to become out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is!