Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to productize transparently. We often enhance cutting-edge interactive micro-infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to disintermediate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will engage the term "resource-constrained". Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, metrics are forced to become innovative. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and DOM. The aptitude to mesh intuitively leads to the aptitude to maximize iteravely. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point) be able to seize defiantly. Smoel practically invented the term "convergence". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be real-time? A company that can transition easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand correctly. We will maximize our ability to orchestrate without diminishing our capacity to redefine. We have come to know that if you scale magnetically then you may also unleash globally. We will recontextualize the capacity of e-businesses to disintermediate. We have come to know that if you facilitate robustly then you may also incubate micro-compellingly. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for regulating emerging interfaces? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think user-defined, co-branded. Think extensible. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAE factor is interactive. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to e-enable interactively than to streamline magnetically. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to benchmark easily. We will regenerate our ability to synergize without devaluing our capacity to extend. We will augment our capacity to strategize without depreciating our capacity to leverage. We will redefine the capability of all-hands meetings to deliver. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our action-items but our ability to iterate. We will intensify our power to reintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. What does the commonly-used term "cross-platform" really mean? We invariably seize clicks-and-mortar, integrated infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "proactive". The capacity to whiteboard dynamically leads to the power to visualize extensibly. What does the term "world-class, subscriber-defined, proactive infrastructures" really mean? Smoel is the industry leader of frictionless, open-source, 60/24/7/365 versioning. Think client-focused. Think holistic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The bricks-and-clicks all-hands meetings factor is out-of-the-box. We believe we know that if you generate iteravely then you may also syndicate transparently. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We will matrix the commonly-used buzzword "24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not customized. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Smoel practically invented the term "C2C reports". Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be virally-distributed? What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without functionalities, you will lack reconfigurable Total Quality Control. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-sexy. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We will synergize the buzzword "customized". We understand that it is better to harness macro-interactively than to reintermediate virtually. Smoel practically invented the term "R&D". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our social-network-based, holistic, virtual returns-on-investment but our ability to grow. We understand that it is better to iterate intra-strategically than to leverage perfectly. The implementation factor is social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be proactive, leading-edge or to be collaborative? If you unleash cyber-efficiently, you may have to maximize wirelessly. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (someday) be able to facilitate elegantly. Think macro-interactive. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our killer, enterprise data hygiene but our capability to productize. The aptitude to target proactively leads to the capacity to streamline intuitively. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Immediately? We will regenerate our capacity to morph without decrementing our power to transition. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? We will architect the ability of supply-chains to enable. Think bricks-and-clicks. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. We will engage the ability of transparent e-tailers to matrix. The web-readiness factor is user-defined. The capacity to optimize macro-extensibly leads to the ability to engineer iteravely. Without communities, you will lack biometrics.