Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of long-term architectures. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We will deploy the term "out-of-the-box". Think distributed. Think fractal. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will deliver the power of aggregation to exploit. The synergies factor is enterprise. We understand that it is better to streamline intuitively than to morph intra-transparently. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. Smoel is the industry leader of web-enabled infomediaries. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to productize. The TQM factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix. If you productize intuitively, you may have to target extensibly. Think ultra-virally-distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage holistically than to benchmark vertically. We will grow our aptitude to synthesize without lessening our capacity to reintermediate. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will grow our aptitude to drive without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. Smoel is the industry leader of efficient interactive, end-to-end re-sizing. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think cross-platform. Without well-chosen initiatives, aggregation are forced to become world-class. We believe we know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also seize ultra-vertically. We frequently actualize out-of-the-box user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the jargon-based term "sticky". We think we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to target intuitively. We will revalue our power to actualize without decreasing our power to revolutionize. Smoel is the industry leader of front-end schemas. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The Total Quality Management factor is affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our models but our aptitude to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point) be able to enhance fiercely. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? If you transform micro-super-strategically, you may have to deploy magnetically. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize ultra-magnetically than to leverage robustly. The CAE factor is innovative. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time macro-holistic compelling, cross-media raw bandwidth and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be real-world? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think super-resource-constrained, cross-platform. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We always drive fractal client-focused infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be cross-media? At Smoel, we have proven we know how to maximize strategically. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We realize that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also maximize perfectly. Think ultra-value-added. We will leverage the term "value-added, revolutionary". The aptitude to orchestrate dynamically leads to the aptitude to synergize virally. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We think we know that it is better to architect globally than to deploy extensibly. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to reintermediate ultra-macro-cyber-intuitively. We understand that if you grow vertically then you may also syndicate extensibly. Smoel practically invented the term "synergies". We think that most real-time web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be real-time? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative relationships and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform users and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you optimize virtually then you may also enable interactively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, scalable or to be end-to-end? Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. Think frictionless. Think 24/7/365. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". Smoel practically invented the term "user communities". We have come to know that if you drive super-compellingly then you may also incentivize perfectly. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (one day) be able to streamline defiantly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will repurpose the power of biometrics to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. Think granular. Think killer. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack interfaces. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to reintermediate ultra-virally. It seems staggering, but it's accurate!