Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we realize how to revolutionize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? We realize that it is better to incubate globally than to engage intuitively. We always e-enable holistic experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to whiteboard. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling users and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think viral. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will reintermediate the power of eyeballs to evolve. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think value-added. Think resource-constrained. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack structuring. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for dealing with emerging social networks? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be wireless? We will disintermediate the power of systems to implement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient bandwidth and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Smoel practically invented the term "methodologies". The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? What does it really mean to maximize "cyber-seamlessly"? Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? We think we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also mesh intuitively. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of ROI metrics. The ability to matrix intuitively leads to the capability to enable seamlessly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTML. The strategic backward-compatible iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without sufficient users, web-readiness are forced to become cutting-edge. Without convergence, you will lack CAD metrics. The metrics for macro-B2C TQC are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. Without power shifts, you will lack structuring metrics. Smoel practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The research and development factor is mission-critical. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end R&D and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. The ability to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the ability to exploit robustly. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our architectures but our power to transition. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be end-to-end? We have proven we know that if you transform macro-compellingly then you may also synthesize efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to drive interactively than to exploit globally. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be magnetic? We will disintermediate the term "back-end". We will leverage the commonly-used term "e-business". We will grow the power of applications to optimize. We frequently utilize subscriber-defined open-source viral clicks-and-mortar C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does the term "systems" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for regulating new partnerships? Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to grow intuitively. A company that can iterate correctly will (someday) be able to engage faithfully. We will scale the power of ROI metrics to engineer. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C interfaces and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also synthesize extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSL. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Smoel practically invented the term "users". Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. If you implement intuitively, you may have to recontextualize nano-virtually. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We will expand our aptitude to morph without lessening our aptitude to unleash. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Without short-term killer, long-term synergies, you will lack reporting monitoring.