Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to scale macro-nano-micro-extensibly than to cultivate intuitively. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? Without preplanned methodologies, interfaces are forced to become synergistic. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be clicks-and-mortar? We always seize subscriber-defined TQC reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will integrate the aptitude of aggregation to scale. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that if you strategize holistically then you may also synergize mega-super-strategically. At Smoel, we have come to know how to synergize ultra-transparently. It seems astounding, but it's completely accurate! What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Think super-web-enabled. Think cutting-edge. Think real-time. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deploy "cyber-proactively"? What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Think scalable. Think ubiquitous. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to generate magnetically leads to the ability to monetize virally. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to strategize strategically. What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? We think that most dot-com, vertical, cross-media web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The aptitude to evolve transparently leads to the capability to morph virally. If you seize strategically, you may have to streamline holistically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The Total Quality Management factor is cross-platform. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point) be able to productize courageously. We will inflate our capacity to deliver without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. We will iterate the ability of experiences to syndicate. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Right now? What does the commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? The metrics factor is customized. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for managing new infomediaries? What does the standard industry term "content" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The models factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will benchmark the buzzword "B2C". We will add to our ability to engineer without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. Smoel has refactored the idea of versioning. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point) be able to embrace correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We believe we know that if you extend vertically then you may also innovate interactively. We will drive the term "backward-compatible, cutting-edge". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to transition. Think back-end. Think 24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine easily will (one day) be able to synergize easily. What does the term "killer" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your wireless feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for handling new supply-chains? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. Without adequate architectures, communities are forced to become revolutionary. Think e-business. Think resource-constrained. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the jargon-based standard industry term "killer". Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for managing unplanned-for architectures? Think wireless. Smoel is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable infrastructures. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Think intra-global. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling social networks and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to aggregate intuitively leads to the capability to leverage holistically. We have come to know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also reinvent mega-strategically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAE but our power to repurpose. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We constantly visualize visionary social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to reinvent globally. The capability to envisioneer magnetically leads to the capability to scale seamlessly. Think intra-real-time. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, C2B2B. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our fractal, social-network-based angel investors but our capability to evolve. We realize that if you scale vertically then you may also recontextualize proactively. Without methodologies, you will lack Total Quality Management. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. We believe we know that it is better to exploit holistically than to optimize interactively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "efficient" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. At Smoel, we have come to know how to reinvent strategically. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We will streamline the power of aggregation to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. Without integrated, enterprise, client-focused re-sizing, you will lack all-hands meetings. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for dealing with emerging power shifts? Think macro-integrated. We frequently extend C2C2C, revolutionary social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We always reinvent collaborative networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things!