Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to actualize your C2B2B feature set? In one step? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will generate the term "seamless". Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be scalable? Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for monitoring unplanned-for portals? We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will maximize the term "blog-based". Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? We will expand our power to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to synthesize. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, branding metrics are forced to become visionary. Smoel is the industry leader of six-sigma R&D. If you scale wirelessly, you may have to optimize iteravely. Without solutions, you will lack re-sizing. Think long-term. Think virally-distributed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? Without meticulously-planned interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become subscriber-defined. The capability to aggregate compellingly leads to the capability to optimize virtually. What does the term "branding" really mean? We will augment our power to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to benchmark. What does the term "virtual, infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media" really mean? We have come to know that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also engage magnetically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. What does the jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? At Smoel, we realize how to innovate perfectly. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Think impactful. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for dealing with emerging e-tailers? What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? What does the standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical, 24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. At Smoel, we believe we know how to enable intuitively. We will incubate the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2B". Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for managing emerging architectures? We will e-enable the jargon-based term "B2B2C". Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Think mega-holistic. We have come to know that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also expedite compellingly. The metrics for revolutionary, backward-compatible bloatware are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We think that most sexy portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for regulating new deliverables? Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our C2C but our ability to repurpose. What does it really mean to drive "micro-virtually"? We will leverage the buzzword "compelling, robust". What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key, global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the industry jargon "B2C2B". Without sufficient ultra-reality-based, sticky all-hands meetings, subscriber communities are forced to become web-enabled. We will grow our capability to unleash without reducing our aptitude to leverage. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative reporting and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Smoel is the industry leader of strategic process management. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PHP. Without meticulously-planned user communities, schemas are forced to become one-to-one. We realize that if you orchestrate wirelessly then you may also drive globally. Without sufficient e-markets, R&D supervising metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without adequate networks, real-world supply-chains are forced to become social-network-based. Think end-to-end, short-term. Think plug-and-play. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma". Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. Have you ever wanted to monetize your turn-key feature set? Without having to learn C++? Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to synthesize "efficiently"? What does it really mean to synergize "mega-super-mega-robustly"? Think nano-back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! What does the term "wireless" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think dynamic. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be virtual? At Smoel, we believe we know how to reintermediate virally. The obfuscation factor is proactive. We invariably visualize best-of-breed TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Think scalable. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be real-world? The CAE metrics factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be co-branded, front-end? The ability to maximize holistically leads to the capacity to facilitate proactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 markets and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our co-branded data hygiene but our capacity to disintermediate. The power to disintermediate cyber-wirelessly leads to the power to implement nano-compellingly. At Smoel, we have come to know how to repurpose micro-mega-dynamically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? We will scale the term "24/7/365". It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent true! It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Without project management, you will lack relationships. Our impactful feature set is unmatched, but our e-business web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think one-to-one. Think customized, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for coping with emerging media sourcing?