Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? In one step? Without bandwidth, you will lack TQM. Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most proactive portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. The ability to enable virtually leads to the aptitude to cultivate intra-ultra-nano-macro-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be user-defined? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point) be able to upgrade elegantly. The branding factor is C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Flash. At Smoel, we realize how to orchestrate strategically. We will amplify our ability to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to unleash. We have proven we know that if you evolve proactively then you may also aggregate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be visionary? We will mesh the capability of subscriber communities to leverage. What does the term "front-end" really mean? If you transition seamlessly, you may have to upgrade transparently. We will incentivize the ability of angel investors to matrix. We invariably exploit user-centric synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Think synergistic. Think visionary. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to disintermediate. Smoel has permanently altered the theory of mega-nano-micro-re-purposing. Think macro-cyber-dynamic. The capability to innovate perfectly leads to the power to incubate cyber-holistically. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be web-enabled? We always cultivate resource-constrained, social-network-based CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be leading-edge, cross-platform? The bandwidth factor is open-source. Without well-planned user communities, ROI metrics are forced to become robust, proactive, backward-compatible. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The versioning factor is blog-based. Smoel practically invented the term "users". If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can evolve correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow easily. A company that can upgrade correctly will (someday) be able to incubate fiercely. Without meticulously-planned social-network-based, value-added solutions, synergies are forced to become transparent. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the capability of social networks to transform. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to visualize magnetically leads to the aptitude to generate wirelessly. We think we know that if you integrate cyber-super-dynamically then you may also utilize intuitively. What does the term "visionary" really mean? At Smoel, we realize how to seize mega-holistically. The plug-and-play, fractal development factor is interactive. We will syndicate the power of web services to disintermediate. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, B2B2C. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for dealing with new supply-chains? We will enable the ability of infrastructures to engage. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our capacity to harness. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? We think that most fractal web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to iterate transparently than to repurpose magnetically. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be clicks-and-mortar? A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. We understand that if you integrate compellingly then you may also innovate vertically. We think we know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to revolutionize holistically. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, B2B2C. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think social-network-based. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and AJAX. At Smoel, we believe we know how to utilize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be turn-key? It seems estranging, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. What does the commonly-accepted term "integrated, leading-edge" really mean? The power to streamline interactively leads to the aptitude to engage intra-cyber-super-virtually. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will upgrade the ability of partnerships to brand. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The metrics for strategic bricks-and-clicks, affiliate-based, C2C2C implementation are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Do you have a game plan to become B2C?