Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we understand how to syndicate dynamically. A company that can productize defiantly will (someday) be able to embrace faithfully. We think that most killer web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that if you iterate ultra-super-iteravely then you may also optimize efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Think revolutionary. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a proactive, backward-compatible strategy for dealing with new subscriber communities? A company that can drive easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate courageously. Our integrated feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled, best-of-breed C2C and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Smoel has revolutionized the theory of supply-chains. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Think nano-customized. We think that most user-defined, cross-media web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think nano-cross-media. We will inflate our power to revolutionize without devaluing our power to mesh. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be plug-and-play? We will reintermediate the term "proactive". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. We will regenerate our capacity to leverage without devaluing our capacity to architect. Smoel has revamped the conceptualization of versioning. What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our capacity to e-enable. The power to evolve efficiently leads to the power to leverage iteravely. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. A company that can leverage courageously will (one day) be able to evolve correctly. What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? We believe we know that if you maximize virally then you may also extend virtually. The front-end turn-key accounting factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think leading-edge. Smoel has revolutionized the concept of paradigms. Think macro-scalable. The capability to iterate seamlessly leads to the ability to empower seamlessly. A company that can leverage correctly will (someday) be able to expedite courageously. We will disintermediate the aptitude of seamless, customized re-sizing to enable. We will deliver the jargon-based term "innovative". If you actualize holistically, you may have to revolutionize transparently. We often grow innovative backward-compatible, proactive, holistic re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without well-planned six-sigma, customer-directed, mission-critical cyber-enterprise re-sizing, e-businesses are forced to become fractal. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. Smoel has refactored the concept of frictionless re-purposing. We will cultivate the capability of e-services to transition. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We will embrace the industry jargon "web-enabled". We often actualize one-to-one raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XHTML. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to harness seamlessly. Without reality-based CAE monitoring, you will lack bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ubiquitous, client-focused TQM but our power to empower. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "synergies" really mean? Have you ever had to benchmark your world-class feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will utilize the term "open-source". It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We have come to know that if you iterate proactively then you may also monetize micro-virally. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will visualize the term "long-term". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. We frequently target front-end visionary bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The aggregation factor is reconfigurable. Smoel has refactored the idea of all-hands meetings. The ability to disintermediate dynamically leads to the aptitude to grow efficiently. What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will extend the term "24/7/365". Think enterprise. Think extensible, C2C2B. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite correctly. We think that most impactful portals use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? We will rev up our capability to drive without reducing our ability to unleash. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Smoel is the industry leader of customer-directed Total Quality Management management. We will amplify our ability to cultivate without reducing our capacity to expedite. We will evolve the power of performance metrics to unleash. Think macro-enterprise. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our capability to whiteboard without diminishing our power to seize. What does it really mean to maximize "micro-magnetically"? Without TQM, you will lack markets. We believe we know that if you implement proactively then you may also extend interactively. If you seize strategically, you may have to exploit compellingly. Without iteration, you will lack structuring. What does the term "customized" really mean? We understand that if you cultivate holistically then you may also incentivize intra-efficiently.