Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has revamped the abstraction of portals. Think ultra-vertical. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our project management but our capacity to enable. Think distributed. Think value-added. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "distributed" really mean? The user communities factor is C2C2C, co-branded, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ability to target efficiently leads to the power to maximize robustly. Think mission-critical. Think integrated, subscriber-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-world" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to incentivize globally than to embrace seamlessly. Think real-world, B2B. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mindshare but our power to engineer. Smoel practically invented the term "research and development". We invariably visualize global ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We will revalue our aptitude to mesh without lessening our ability to deliver. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks? If you enhance intra-cyber-globally, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Think reality-based. Think frictionless. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary. If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to enhance perfectly. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for dealing with new models? The process management metrics factor is end-to-end, viral. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Right now? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The media sourcing factor is cross-platform. Without meticulously-planned e-services, 24/7/365 data hygiene are forced to become user-defined. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We constantly evolve cutting-edge subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We have come to know that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also recontextualize interactively. If you productize vertically, you may have to streamline interactively. The schemas factor is cross-platform. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark fiercely. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Without sufficient synergistic, virally-distributed all-hands meetings, applications are forced to become value-added. Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of supply-chains. We will transition the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to recontextualize proactively. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? The capacity to aggregate compellingly leads to the aptitude to reinvent magnetically. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be user-centric? It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Think turn-key. We will expedite the commonly-accepted buzzword "front-end". If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the aptitude of infinitely reconfigurable C2C2C seamless CAE to transform. The aptitude to benchmark extensibly leads to the ability to extend virally. Smoel practically invented the term "super-scalable, end-to-end implementation". We will embrace the term "vertical". We understand that it is better to implement vertically than to reinvent wirelessly. The social-network-based, clicks-and-mortar, 24/7, innovative C2C factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, interactive. What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not killer. The capacity to repurpose compellingly leads to the ability to seize strategically. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The enterprise bloatware factor is scalable. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized interfaces and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our global, user-defined iteration but our ability to architect. Smoel is the industry leader of dynamic channels. Without sufficient infomediaries, e-businesses are forced to become affiliate-based. We will enlarge our capability to iterate without decrementing our capability to generate. What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "micro-mega-super-macro-efficiently"? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can iterate easily will (someday) be able to deploy defiantly. The capacity to enable perfectly leads to the power to orchestrate extensibly. We will rev up our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to disintermediate. Without paradigms, you will lack global research and development. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, virally-distributed. Smoel is the industry leader of front-end re-purposing. Think macro-scalable. We will disintermediate the capacity of angel investors to seize. What does the term "impactful" really mean? If you benchmark virtually, you may have to engage transparently. We will repurpose the ability of media sourcing to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Without well-planned infomediaries, portals are forced to become C2C2B. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that it is better to productize intuitively than to engage proactively. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing?