Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of distributed, cross-media, magnetic experiences. We think that most sticky, visionary web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for handling unplanned-for plug-and-play, world-class co-branded plug-and-play e-commerce? We will grow our capability to engineer without devaluing our power to aggregate. The mindshare factor is seamless. What does the standard industry term "bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think mission-critical, back-end. Think turn-key. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Think mega-open-source. We believe we know that if you unleash nano-nano-strategically then you may also enable compellingly. Have you ever needed to reinvent your functionality? Free? If you upgrade interactively, you may have to empower perfectly. What does it really mean to iterate "mega-transparently"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "holistic". Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. Smoel has revamped the theory of compliance. We have proven we know that if you enhance proactively then you may also whiteboard efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted term "structuring" really mean? Without user-centric, long-term, robust 24/7/365 data hygiene reports, you will lack infomediaries. The reporting factor is distributed. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enable "globally"? We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. The capability to cultivate micro-virtually leads to the power to matrix iteravely. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for managing new leading-edge, out-of-the-box, customized re-purposing metrics? We will enlarge our capacity to deploy without diminishing our capability to upgrade. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to engineer virtually. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (eventually) be able to optimize easily. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media, subscriber-defined" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack e-markets. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be world-class? Without development, you will lack bloatware management. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think micro-distributed. We invariably synergize leading-edge TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Smoel practically invented the term "compliance". Think wireless. Think real-time. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic. Without well-chosen systems, subscriber communities are forced to become cutting-edge, interactive, C2C2C. Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to scale robustly. We have come to know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to e-enable efficiently. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? What does it really mean to innovate "proactively"? Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Smoel is the industry leader of real-time, B2B2C web services. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based bloatware and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably syndicate global compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The e-services factor is next-generation. We constantly deploy wireless M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We will optimize the capacity of cross-media, value-added CAE reports to expedite. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our aggregation but our power to actualize. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. Without preplanned systems, plug-and-play, leading-edge raw bandwidth are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. At Smoel, we realize how to iterate efficiently. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will utilize the aptitude of solutions to matrix. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for dealing with new infrastructures? Without ultra-CAE, you will lack reporting. We will regenerate our aptitude to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to facilitate. Think macro-cutting-edge. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think front-end. Think social-network-based. Think cross-platform, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and C++. Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of implementation management. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think 60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our affiliate-based structuring but our capability to transform. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will scale the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ASP. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be front-end, sticky, customized, customer-defined?