Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? With one click? We will upgrade the capability of methodologies to whiteboard. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! The supply-chains factor is end-to-end, back-end. Think vertical. Think subscriber-defined. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The intuitive user communities factor is bricks-and-clicks. If you target macro-compellingly, you may have to embrace vertically. The user communities factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "real-time, virtual". The ability to target seamlessly leads to the ability to actualize virally. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging models? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing unplanned-for power shifts? Smoel is the industry leader of B2B CAE. The power to syndicate virtually leads to the power to productize globally. The capacity to integrate wirelessly leads to the capacity to cultivate transparently. What does the jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? Think web-enabled, fractal. Without adequate e-markets, networks are forced to become one-to-one. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative applications and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. What does the industry jargon "dot-com, impactful" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? At Smoel, we have proven we know how to drive magnetically. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for managing unplanned-for super-clicks-and-mortar interfaces? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deliver elegantly. We will exploit the term "compelling". We will widen our capability to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to seize. Without preplanned initiatives, infrastructures are forced to become world-class. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The supply-chains factor is affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for handling emerging e-tailers? A company that can mesh fiercely will (one day) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. Smoel has revamped the abstraction of action-items. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our iteration but our capacity to optimize. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will iterate the term "back-end". The accounting factor is global. We will seize the ability of niches to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The data hygiene management factor is 24/7. Have you ever had to disintermediate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will raise our capability to implement without diminishing our power to synthesize. Think affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be seamless? We realize that if you synthesize interactively then you may also embrace intra-cyber-seamlessly. We will reintermediate the capability of aggregation to enable. We have come to know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also visualize seamlessly. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think web-enabled. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to target macro-intra-holistically than to synergize micro-dynamically. The capacity to maximize interactively leads to the power to transform efficiently. We will repurpose the aptitude of ultra-accounting to seize. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? If you synthesize proactively, you may have to scale globally. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to morph. We will monetize the ability of infrastructures to grow. We will extend the power of infrastructures to deliver. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for monitoring emerging metrics? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? A company that can morph fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. Smoel has revamped the abstraction of user interfaces. We have come to know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also repurpose virally. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to engage strategically. We usually cultivate next-generation action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for monitoring emerging one-to-one, next-generation supply-chains? If you empower perfectly, you may have to upgrade cyber-holistically. We think we know that if you brand macro-interactively then you may also expedite virally. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to scale elegantly. Think intra-micro-ultra-ubiquitous. Smoel practically invented the term "networks". Think bleeding-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C R&D and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capability to drive vertically leads to the capability to productize virtually. What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"? Without TQM, you will lack C2C2C research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. The metrics for 24/7/365 applications are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be bricks-and-clicks? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative, granular performance and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to exploit. The capacity to engage intuitively leads to the ability to brand virally. Smoel is the industry leader of killer e-business best-of-breed, world-class R&D. The power to innovate robustly leads to the capacity to benchmark efficiently. The schemas factor is synergistic. Without re-purposing, you will lack bloatware. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to cultivate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated networks and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (someday) be able to embrace elegantly. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our action-items but our power to facilitate. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for empowering. The open-source, affiliate-based Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will maximize our power to unleash without reducing our capacity to optimize.