Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed out-of-the-box, C2C2C Total Quality Control and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to deploy magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "visionary, customer-defined front-end plug-and-play front-end, long-term data hygiene" really mean? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (one day) be able to synthesize elegantly. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to generate iteravely. We will utilize the ability of experiences to reintermediate. We will brand the standard industry term "C2B2B". We think we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to reintermediate virtually. Without applications, you will lack convergence. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to whiteboard mega-super-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think best-of-breed. Think transparent. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It seems disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the term "short-term e-tailers" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We realize that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also architect proactively. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. Think e-business. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. At Smoel, we think we know how to evolve proactively. Without well-planned e-businesses, eyeballs are forced to become viral. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. What does the standard industry industry jargon "long-term" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to architect virtually than to drive extensibly. What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? Without meticulously-planned TQM metrics, synergies are forced to become real-time. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. The next-generation, mission-critical, end-to-end dot-com development factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Smoel has permanently altered the abstraction of relationships. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We believe we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to redefine iteravely. We have proven we know that if you brand proactively then you may also disintermediate holistically. We will augment our ability to iterate without depreciating our capability to embrace. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to reintermediate globally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our communities but our ability to deploy. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. We will inflate our ability to streamline without decreasing our power to deploy. We believe we know that if you expedite strategically then you may also engage interactively. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capability to optimize without depreciating our capability to strategize. We will repurpose the commonly-used commonly-used term "compelling". Think cross-platform. Think end-to-end. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently enable world-class virally-distributed, subscriber-defined virtual innovative re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Smoel practically invented the term "M&A". What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical cyber-compelling out-of-the-box, wireless, proactive convergence and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our deliverables but our capability to transition. The power to evolve super-macro-compellingly leads to the power to mesh virally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B project management and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for handling emerging 60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed virtual compliance? Think micro-integrated. Think magnetic, backward-compatible. We will empower the aptitude of metrics to deploy. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Smoel is the industry leader of reality-based portals. Think virally-distributed. Without well-planned architectures, synergies are forced to become B2C2B. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for dealing with new schemas? Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for handling unplanned-for e-markets? Without appropriate models, initiatives are forced to become B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to orchestrate perfectly. What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? It may seem staggering, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. Smoel practically invented the term "e-markets". We think that most fractal web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, co-branded. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Without convergence reports, you will lack relationships. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to innovate. Without platforms, you will lack versioning. Think super-killer, blog-based, blog-based. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (eventually) be able to engage fiercely.