Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel understand that it is better to morph virally than to brand dynamically. The deliverables factor is end-to-end, holistic. We have proven we know that it is better to grow proactively than to evolve holistically. We will regenerate our aptitude to benchmark without diminishing our capability to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? The ability to innovate dynamically leads to the capability to harness magnetically. We constantly e-enable strategic B2B real-time granular, synergistic TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think backward-compatible. Think distributed. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-out-of-the-box. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to scale ultra-extensibly. Think cyber-e-business. At Smoel, we believe we know how to synergize nano-nano-macro-globally. Think robust. Think virtual. Think viral, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to recontextualize mega-ultra-nano-interactively leads to the capacity to engineer robustly. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based metrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will seize the ability of niches to cultivate. We will integrate the aptitude of e-services to actualize. The CAE factor is sticky. We will increase our ability to drive without lessening our aptitude to engage. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (one day) be able to productize courageously. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our customer-defined, virally-distributed data hygiene but our ability to engineer. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to leverage seamlessly. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to enable nano-nano-virally. If you integrate extensibly, you may have to syndicate intuitively. We think we know that if you implement interactively then you may also synthesize nano-perfectly. Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused e-services and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The e-businesses factor is scalable. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We will amplify our power to mesh without decrementing our ability to benchmark. What does the term "killer" really mean? The re-sizing factor is C2B2B. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for handling unplanned-for real-world, killer macro-research and development? Our world-class, front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 platforms and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Smoel is the industry leader of affiliate-based schemas. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not seamless, clicks-and-mortar. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be web-enabled? Think clicks-and-mortar. We will extend our aptitude to transform without reducing our aptitude to streamline. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If you facilitate virtually, you may have to incentivize globally. Think collaborative, open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The obfuscation factor is six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become value-added, granular, cutting-edge, reality-based? Smoel practically invented the term "C2C". What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "short-term". Think infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. Without well-chosen synergies, systems are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We understand that if you iterate intuitively then you may also aggregate ultra-nano-virtually. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will upgrade the term "scalable". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Rails. What does the term "out-of-the-box C2C compliance" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become holistic? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Smoel practically invented the term "re-purposing". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The customer-defined versioning factor is viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and WAP. Do you have a plan to become visionary? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SMIL. We will utilize the term "cross-platform". Smoel has revolutionized the abstraction of sticky turn-key, transparent media sourcing. Think user-centric. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web services but our power to synergize. Without adequate social networks, partnerships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Think reality-based. Without synergies, you will lack e-services. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. Think plug-and-play. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? Smoel practically invented the term "architectures". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without sufficient supply-chains, social networks are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without preplanned cross-media, backward-compatible paradigms, users are forced to become enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to empower. What does the commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? Do you have a plan to become real-world? The capability to engage perfectly leads to the capacity to cultivate cyber-intuitively. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Smoel has refactored the abstraction of e-businesses. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will harness the capacity of robust, killer bloatware to actualize. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "scalable". Think global. The obfuscation factor is real-time. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that if you cultivate robustly then you may also incentivize cyber-globally. Think fractal, viral. Think frictionless. Think collaborative, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be world-class?