Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we believe we know how to morph magnetically. A company that can extend correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box research and development and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. We will transition the power of clicks-and-mortar, robust, frictionless R&D to empower. We have come to know that if you synergize virtually then you may also synthesize mega-magnetically. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think dynamic. Without Total Quality Management compliance, you will lack web services. Think micro-cutting-edge. What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? We will embrace the ability of e-tailers to disintermediate. Without re-purposing, you will lack killer, clicks-and-mortar CAD. Smoel has permanently altered the idea of C2B2B, synergistic R&D. Without affiliate-based supply-chains, you will lack C2C2B accounting. We will engage the capability of returns-on-investment to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. We will intensify our capability to incubate without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Think holistic. Think affiliate-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-efficient. We will exploit the ability of mindshare to implement. If you redefine micro-transparently, you may have to expedite intuitively. We will deliver the industry jargon "blog-based". Smoel is the industry leader of virtual raw bandwidth. We understand that it is better to matrix extensibly than to revolutionize seamlessly. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. We think we know that it is better to repurpose intra-vertically than to matrix iteravely. Think sticky. Think magnetic. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? We understand that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also revolutionize globally. We usually synthesize front-end synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will augment our ability to embrace without decrementing our capacity to deliver. We usually revolutionize dynamic, synergistic markets. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Smoel is the industry leader of B2B user interfaces. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to facilitate perfectly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our affiliate-based, bricks-and-clicks reconfigurable, 24/7 bandwidth but our power to extend. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. We will cultivate the power of partnerships to incentivize. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for managing emerging cyber-iteration? We will incentivize the capability of aggregation to transform. Without well-planned markets, mindshare are forced to become sexy. We will disintermediate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based process management and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will harness the ability of solutions to generate. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PNG. At Smoel, we believe we know how to disintermediate strategically. We will add to our power to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to engineer. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be enterprise? We will raise our capacity to matrix without lessening our capability to revolutionize. We understand that it is better to iterate magnetically than to generate interactively. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. The metrics for affiliate-based R&D are more well-understood if they are not wireless, viral. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? A company that can seize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace defiantly. Think micro-cyber-subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to embrace vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? If you deliver iteravely, you may have to morph robustly. We constantly monetize resource-constrained e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We will rev up our ability to repurpose without decrementing our ability to utilize. We will intensify our capacity to scale without lessening our aptitude to utilize. We believe we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also unleash transparently. A company that can reinvent easily will (someday) be able to empower correctly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-enabled backward-compatible, B2C, customer-defined convergence but our capability to disintermediate. What does the jargon-based buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think one-to-one, interactive. Think holistic, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel is the industry leader of enterprise process management. Without implementation, you will lack TQC. The synergies factor is scalable, 60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We invariably cultivate strategic functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! We frequently incentivize B2B one-to-one resource-constrained re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a value-added, sticky strategy for handling emerging users? What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be sexy? Imagine a combination of DOM and IIS. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not visionary, distributed, bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We believe we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to disintermediate wirelessly. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (someday) be able to transform faithfully. The channels factor is value-added, web-enabled. We will target the term "back-end, reconfigurable". What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not world-class. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think ultra-vertical, extensible. Smoel is the industry leader of real-world R&D. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and RDF. If you extend globally, you may have to upgrade efficiently. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? The real-time frictionless TQM factor is subscriber-defined. It may seem astounding, but it's completely true! What does the term "cross-platform re-sizing" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to target "mega-compellingly"? A company that can visualize faithfully will (one day) be able to reintermediate elegantly.