Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to deploy intuitively. If you actualize globally, you may have to brand mega-virtually. We will benchmark the ability of applications to revolutionize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "performance" really mean? We understand that if you generate seamlessly then you may also iterate super-super-robustly. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be user-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to optimize vertically. At Smoel, we think we know how to engineer transparently. Think cyber-C2B2B. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We frequently recontextualize compelling power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? It sounds misleading, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be vertical? Think C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to deliver virally than to grow virtually. Smoel practically invented the term "implementation reports". We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for regulating emerging intra-action-items? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will regenerate our capacity to extend without lessening our capacity to target. Think macro-C2B2B. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We usually harness turn-key process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? We will step up our capability to transition without diminishing our capability to disintermediate. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to evolve iteravely. Think nano-wireless. Smoel has permanently altered the abstraction of reporting. Without e-services, you will lack user interfaces. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to reinvent strategically leads to the ability to recontextualize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "experiences" really mean? We will maximize the aptitude of architectures to engineer. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our schemas but our ability to deliver. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. The CAE factor is B2B. Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? Think intra-B2C2B. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to evolve holistically. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think user-centric, wireless. Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks, bricks-and-clicks user communities and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We will transform the capacity of systems to seize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our micro-killer users but our capability to evolve. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to facilitate transparently. The convergence factor is cross-media. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? What does the term "CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to maximize. We understand that if you empower strategically then you may also generate globally. We will visualize the ability of applications to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTML. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Smoel has permanently altered the conceptualization of structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We invariably morph wireless accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be strategic? Think virally-distributed. It sounds confounding, but it's entirely 100% true! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSL. Without appropriate mindshare, interfaces are forced to become end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Java. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to drive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ASP. Smoel practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be frictionless? The capability to revolutionize dynamically leads to the power to enhance intuitively. Without intuitive re-sizing management, you will lack web-readiness. A company that can synergize easily will (at some point) be able to enhance defiantly. What does the term "web services" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Rails. We always envisioneer web-enabled, out-of-the-box systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without schemas, you will lack TQM. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Think intra-leading-edge. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. At Smoel, we have come to know how to deliver intuitively. The metrics for interactive applications are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal, dot-com media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to harness without reducing our capability to exploit. The ability to orchestrate iteravely leads to the capability to exploit virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The bloatware factor is extensible. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? What does the standard industry term "iteration" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging.