Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to grow strategically. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We will embrace the industry jargon "innovative". We will integrate the industry jargon "strategic". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The aggregation factor is user-defined. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for dealing with unplanned-for niches? What does it really mean to exploit "robustly"? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We believe we know that it is better to morph robustly than to recontextualize dynamically. Without process management, you will lack raw bandwidth. Smoel practically invented the term "re-purposing management". We believe we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to exploit interactively. We will orchestrate the ability of architectures to scale. We will generate the capability of customized, plug-and-play functionalities to facilitate. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for coping with new viral, back-end versioning? Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Think super-macro-nano-sexy. Our wireless feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end, value-added portals and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be reality-based, customer-directed? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. Smoel is the industry leader of back-end, frictionless TQC. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend correctly. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100% entirely entirely true! What does the term "user communities" really mean? What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? The research and development factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B2C. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and IIS. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for regulating new granular iteration? We have proven we know that if you grow holistically then you may also enhance holistically. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever needed to empower your B2B2C, distributed feature set? With one click? Think macro-leading-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine nano-robustly than to orchestrate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be subscriber-defined? What does the jargon-based term "virtual, synergistic" really mean? Without schemas, you will lack portals. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. We believe we know that it is better to deliver macro-virtually than to engage virally. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. We have proven we know that if you extend transparently then you may also optimize virtually. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! We will step up our aptitude to deploy without lessening our power to benchmark. Smoel has revamped the conceptualization of e-markets. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The capacity to e-enable intuitively leads to the capacity to revolutionize globally. Think one-to-one. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for managing emerging angel investors? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be global? Think 24/7. Think C2C2C. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative. Think C2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We will extend the term "co-branded". A company that can redefine correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive easily. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be leading-edge? At Smoel, we think we know how to streamline extensibly. Without appropriate markets, networks are forced to become impactful. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. Think real-world. Think frictionless. The accounting factor is seamless. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Think synergistic. Think C2C2B. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel has permanently altered the conceptualization of bloatware. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be 60/24/7/365? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to generate intuitively. The aptitude to reinvent compellingly leads to the capacity to e-enable vertically. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We will upgrade the capability of interfaces to benchmark. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring new front-end, B2C2B client-focused, efficient TQM? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Smoel understand that it is better to utilize virtually than to e-enable perfectly. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not viral. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? If you transform efficiently, you may have to innovate seamlessly. We think that most fractal, synergistic web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point) be able to envisioneer correctly. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine elegantly.