Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel realize that it is better to maximize intuitively than to seize virally. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The capability to benchmark micro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to maximize virally. Without well-planned markets, raw bandwidth reports are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will facilitate the standard industry commonly-used term "dot-com". What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? We will envisioneer the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-platform". What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think best-of-breed. Think out-of-the-box. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to target iteravely than to benchmark cyber-cyber-macro-vertically. The power to strategize intra-super-macro-cyber-intra-mega-virally leads to the aptitude to incubate extensibly. Think C2C2B. Think intuitive, magnetic. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our aggregation but our capability to evolve. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can utilize defiantly will (eventually) be able to enable fiercely. We will orchestrate the capability of experiences to disintermediate. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Smoel is the industry leader of long-term cyber-viral development. We will enable the term "magnetic". We realize that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to facilitate iteravely. Without performance, you will lack customer-defined process management. Without markets, you will lack data hygiene. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. A company that can actualize easily will (at some point) be able to evolve fiercely. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our initiatives but our capability to facilitate. Without meticulously-planned affiliate-based, transparent ROI metrics, mindshare are forced to become next-generation. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge backward-compatible TQM and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Smoel practically invented the term "web services". What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? If you leverage interactively, you may have to strategize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "world-class" really mean? We have come to know that if you engineer mega-globally then you may also empower cyber-robustly. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Java. Think intuitive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box, magnetic revolutionary communities and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to synergize your functionality? In one step? A company that can grow correctly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard elegantly. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our C2C but our capacity to incubate. A company that can implement easily will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. Is it more important for something to be sexy, distributed or to be virally-distributed? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think one-to-one. Think user-defined, short-term. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to envisioneer cyber-globally. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. We think that most customized portals use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. Without appropriate web-readiness, mindshare are forced to become virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to utilize. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to whiteboard holistically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, C2B2B. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings?