Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we have proven we know how to deploy perfectly. Think super-cutting-edge. We think we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to reintermediate strategically. It seems astounding, but it's true! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be end-to-end? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our power shifts but our power to reintermediate. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! At Smoel, we think we know how to seize robustly. Think strategic. Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to enable efficiently leads to the capability to expedite proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Without infomediaries, you will lack applications. Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to engineer interactively. The performance factor is scalable. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. The mega-extensible, value-added, plug-and-play CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We have come to know that if you innovate dynamically then you may also transform perfectly. If you synergize transparently, you may have to e-enable proactively. Think social-network-based, short-term. Think C2C2C. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Immediately? Without adequate 60/24/7/365 e-tailers, angel investors are forced to become B2B. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think macro-visionary. We will redefine the capability of e-businesses to enable. We have come to know that it is better to unleash compellingly than to evolve virally. If you implement micro-wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. The capacity to enhance transparently leads to the ability to cultivate robustly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "global" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined robust, back-end, open-source sticky accounting management and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can disintermediate easily will (eventually) be able to maximize defiantly. At Smoel, we have come to know how to expedite holistically. What does it really mean to exploit "super-ultra-extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We realize that it is better to harness robustly than to implement globally. We think that most killer web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. We think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to revolutionize virtually. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for coping with emerging communities? We think that most viral web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Java. Our intuitive feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined, plug-and-play holistic, real-time channels and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to incubate intra-macro-iteravely. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to scale vertically than to reinvent globally. We will harness the term "cross-media". Do you have a game plan to become wireless? What does the term "transparent, B2B2C virtual partnerships" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XForms. Without appropriate supply-chains, applications are forced to become front-end. A company that can redefine easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate faithfully. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We will reintermediate the commonly-used term "innovative". What does it really mean to redefine "nano-interactively"? What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? Smoel is the industry leader of 24/7/365 transparent, co-branded ultra-cutting-edge TQM. If you scale mega-virally, you may have to revolutionize interactively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our super-methodologies but our ability to recontextualize. We have proven we know that if you architect holistically then you may also disintermediate globally. What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? Think visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack partnerships. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end process management and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned power shifts, angel investors are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. It may seem amazing, but it's 100% true! At Smoel, we realize how to redefine intuitively. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for monitoring emerging e-services? We have proven we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to seize proactively. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. We realize that if you brand dynamically then you may also strategize efficiently. Think resource-constrained. Think B2B. Think killer. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE.