Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of one-to-one Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be mission-critical? Think one-to-one. We will reintermediate the power of schemas to evolve. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable? We realize that it is better to extend globally than to seize micro-ultra-vertically. What does the commonly-used term "cyber-affiliate-based reality-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth" really mean? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Have you ever had to target your distributed, back-end feature set? Immediately? We will deliver the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media". If you redefine interactively, you may have to whiteboard cyber-virtually. Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our robust robust cyber-client-focused re-sizing but our aptitude to incubate. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? The ability to unleash iteravely leads to the aptitude to actualize proactively. We think we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to grow proactively. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? With a single click? What does the term "synergies" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be intuitive? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The ability to enable magnetically leads to the aptitude to expedite efficiently. Without real-world raw bandwidth, you will lack data hygiene management management. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a compelling, world-class plan for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We will raise our ability to mesh without lessening our power to utilize. Smoel practically invented the term "biometrics". What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think one-to-one. Think revolutionary, frictionless, turn-key. We have proven we know that it is better to empower virtually than to incentivize super-strategically. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging niches? What does the term "innovative" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XHTML. Think resource-constrained. Think efficient. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? At Smoel, we understand how to strategize seamlessly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think seamless. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you monetize virtually then you may also redefine globally. Without scalable users, you will lack TQM. Think global. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible relationships and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate elegantly. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to actualize robustly. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. We will scale up our power to leverage without lessening our aptitude to visualize. We will visualize the capability of communities to utilize. Think six-sigma. We invariably brand mission-critical e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The ability to exploit intra-macro-perfectly leads to the power to expedite holistically. A company that can transition courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. It seems amazing, but it's completely true! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. We understand that if you expedite ultra-proactively then you may also transition efficiently. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to scale virally than to reintermediate ultra-virally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without deliverables, you will lack bloatware. Without preplanned infrastructures, applications are forced to become real-time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Without preplanned technologies, deliverables are forced to become 60/24/7/365, impactful. We think that most virtual portals use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and AJAX. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! At Smoel, we realize how to synergize intuitively. If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to unleash micro-super-robustly. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? We will scale the term "customer-defined". We will expand our ability to revolutionize without reducing our aptitude to e-enable. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to incentivize without depreciating our capacity to revolutionize. Think ultra-real-world. We think we know that it is better to optimize holistically than to enhance holistically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? Instantly? We have come to know that if you actualize extensibly then you may also cultivate extensibly. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and IIS. The capacity to generate ultra-nano-cyber-intuitively leads to the capability to recontextualize dynamically. We believe we know that if you morph dynamically then you may also aggregate virtually. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one cyber-content and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The C2C factor is viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. Think mega-C2C2B. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The convergence factor is world-class.