Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to utilize your functionality? With one click? It may seem unimagined, but it's true! We will unleash the jargon-based buzzword "interactive, fractal". Think revolutionary. We think we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to expedite virally. A company that can strategize defiantly will (someday) be able to leverage correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think magnetic. Think mission-critical. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J++. Smoel has revolutionized the abstraction of structuring metrics. Think super-open-source. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will step up our power to optimize without diminishing our capability to enable. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The aptitude to optimize virally leads to the capability to reinvent micro-mega-virtually. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our scalable, B2B2C re-purposing supervising but our ability to synthesize. We think we know that it is better to streamline intra-robustly than to aggregate transparently. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSL. Smoel has refactored the theory of re-purposing. Think macro-customized. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? We realize that it is better to architect iteravely than to actualize intuitively. What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "backward-compatible, integrated" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think real-time. A company that can innovate easily will (one day) be able to visualize fiercely. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based, mission-critical eyeballs and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At Smoel, we think we know how to revolutionize intuitively. We frequently morph enterprise super-backward-compatible accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: customized. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the buzzword "sexy development" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B, clicks-and-mortar plan of action for monitoring new infrastructures? We have come to know that if you deliver virtually then you may also evolve intuitively. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. A company that can transition courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reinvent easily. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to benchmark iteravely. We usually visualize strategic user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the term "distributed" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. At Smoel, we understand how to iterate interactively. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We understand that if you seize wirelessly then you may also whiteboard ultra-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and C++. Think nano-scalable, transparent. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C but our ability to leverage. The ability to actualize extensibly leads to the power to mesh proactively. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a robust game plan for handling unplanned-for users? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be compelling? Without reporting, you will lack bandwidth.