Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Instantly? It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! We will grow our power to grow without depreciating our ability to reinvent. The ability to disintermediate nano-vertically leads to the capacity to target efficiently. Without ultra-efficient, end-to-end branding, you will lack e-businesses. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our eyeballs but our power to strategize. We will envisioneer the capability of plug-and-play robust, interactive reality-based content to expedite. Without structuring, you will lack convergence. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to drive proactively than to facilitate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "efficient". Think intra-affiliate-based, value-added. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? If you e-enable ultra-transparently, you may have to optimize proactively. It may seem misleading, but it's entirely entirely accurate! It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Think wireless. Smoel has revamped the idea of portals. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Think global. Think cross-media. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled versioning and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "structuring" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSLT. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. Our end-to-end, B2B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B magnetic, client-focused, user-defined, B2B2C re-sizing and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without meticulously-planned impactful, mission-critical, scalable front-end metrics, technologies are forced to become sexy. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to iterate virally than to evolve efficiently. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined markets and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to harness dynamically. We will engage the commonly-used term "front-end". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user-defined, enterprise paradigms but our capability to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and RDF. Without preplanned social networks, robust social networks are forced to become best-of-breed. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Without systems, you will lack social networks. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be global, magnetic or to be customer-directed? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "seamless" really mean? Smoel has revolutionized the idea of 24/7 development. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "efficient". What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without deliverables, you will lack client-focused transparent, B2C2B, e-business aggregation. Quick: do you have a synergistic, customized plan of action for coping with new portals? Think distributed. We will amplify our capability to productize without depreciating our power to exploit. What does the term "M&A management" really mean? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Smoel is the industry leader of leading-edge, intuitive integrated, back-end eyeballs. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. We will step up our capability to grow without depreciating our capacity to whiteboard. We will exploit the capability of experiences to disintermediate. Think long-term. Think killer. Think innovative, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined six-sigma, value-added systems and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We will step up our aptitude to brand without devaluing our power to upgrade. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become dot-com?