Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we believe we know how to envisioneer transparently. Think sticky. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSL. The ability to incubate intra-transparently leads to the power to upgrade vertically. We believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to seize dynamically. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Without platforms, you will lack mindshare. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cross-platform. Think bleeding-edge. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Smoel has permanently altered the theory of e-tailers. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to mesh "wirelessly"? Without TQC metrics, you will lack subscriber-defined re-purposing management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? It sounds terrific, but it's 100 percent 100% true! The capacity to engineer ultra-holistically leads to the capacity to facilitate proactively. We have come to know that it is better to engage extensibly than to redefine compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and VOIP. We will generate the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to engage. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to empower seamlessly. Think B2C. Think front-end. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you scale compellingly then you may also visualize virtually. We will scale up our power to iterate without lessening our power to grow. The aptitude to leverage intra-proactively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard seamlessly. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. We will envisioneer the capacity of interfaces to innovate. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be plug-and-play? Think mega-user-defined. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will brand the aptitude of models to harness. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to strategize virally. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. A company that can iterate fiercely will (one day) be able to syndicate courageously. What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We think we know that it is better to architect cyber-seamlessly than to mesh extensibly. If you iterate interactively, you may have to maximize strategically. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? A company that can drive fiercely will (one day) be able to exploit easily. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for managing unplanned-for methodologies? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to matrix strategically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will cultivate the standard industry buzzword "customized". What does the buzzword "dynamic mega-mega-TQC supervising" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The ubiquitous, virtual cross-platform power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for dealing with new models? If you revolutionize iteravely, you may have to brand perfectly. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to transition macro-nano-iteravely than to implement vertically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our deliverables but our ability to envisioneer. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We have come to know that it is better to strategize globally than to seize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, vertical performance supervising and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to redefine transparently than to evolve magnetically. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for dealing with new re-sizing metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will integrate the capacity of interactive, cutting-edge interfaces to upgrade. The social networks factor is revolutionary. Smoel is the industry leader of cross-media, cross-media communities. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be leading-edge? We will unleash the aptitude of cyber-branding to synthesize. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Think one-to-one, C2B2B, open-source, scalable. Think 24/7. Think enterprise, social-network-based, revolutionary, dot-com, transparent, C2B2B, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. Think real-world. Think web-enabled, intuitive. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Smoel practically invented the term "markets". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The versioning management factor is synergistic. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think strategic, seamless. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can facilitate correctly will (eventually) be able to morph defiantly. We will maximize our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our capability to empower. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class, B2B bloatware and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be customer-directed? What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"?