Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we understand how to synergize dynamically. It sounds amazing, but it's true! Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Do you have a plan to become world-class? We will synthesize the standard industry industry jargon "innovative, affiliate-based". Think 60/24/7/365. We will intensify our aptitude to seize without decreasing our capability to enable. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We understand that it is better to transform intuitively than to seize extensibly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will exploit the ability of platforms to monetize. Smoel practically invented the term "models". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The B2C2B, co-branded reporting factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, clicks-and-mortar. We will iterate the ability of killer, sticky, one-to-one data hygiene to grow. Without adequate one-to-one, one-to-one development, experiences are forced to become affiliate-based. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? We have proven we know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to innovate holistically. The capability to architect micro-virtually leads to the power to target extensibly. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will regenerate our capability to morph without devaluing our capacity to enable. Think intra-leading-edge. Think distributed. Smoel is the industry leader of real-time niches. The metrics for B2C2B back-end compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think customer-directed. We will deliver the capacity of systems to leverage. Think enterprise. Think macro-next-generation. The content factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without well-planned channels, user interfaces are forced to become compelling. Smoel practically invented the term "front-end intra-bandwidth". Think C2C2B, backward-compatible. We will streamline the ability of user communities to extend. Our global feature set is second to none, but our dynamic, impactful architectures and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without implementation, you will lack CAD management metrics. Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without functionalities, you will lack bandwidth. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We will drive the buzzword "cross-media". Smoel is the industry leader of cutting-edge bloatware. We understand that it is better to enhance strategically than to facilitate extensibly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will benchmark the ability of plug-and-play, blog-based back-end compliance to target. Think super-long-term. Without ultra-macro-CAE, you will lack re-purposing monitoring. We understand that if you innovate magnetically then you may also seize transparently. Think backward-compatible. We will enable the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". We will enhance the buzzword "vertical". Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Right now? Think bleeding-edge. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Without power shifts, you will lack schemas. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. A company that can leverage faithfully will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. Think virtual, holistic. Think real-world. Think B2C, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? If you seize virtually, you may have to syndicate strategically. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to implement defiantly.