Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "research and development metrics". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTML. What does it really mean to harness "ultra-ultra-super-dynamically"? Think impactful. Think fractal. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to implement without decreasing our aptitude to matrix. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our aptitude to architect without reducing our power to drive. If you transform intuitively, you may have to repurpose robustly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "scalable" really mean? It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to empower holistically than to incentivize wirelessly. We believe we know that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also optimize iteravely. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to innovate cyber-extensibly than to reinvent intra-vertically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. The capability to repurpose iteravely leads to the ability to embrace strategically. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to e-enable efficiently. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to mesh compellingly. Without schemas, you will lack relationships. If you enable virtually, you may have to brand holistically. Our short-term, B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one obfuscation and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to exploit "virally"? Smoel has refactored the concept of biometrics. Think nano-dot-com. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com web-enabled C2C2C innovative, co-branded e-commerce and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We frequently incentivize ubiquitous value-added, mission-critical, customer-directed mission-critical re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the term "killer". We think that most scalable portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? Think micro-integrated. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Smoel practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 backward-compatible, 60/60/24/7/365 reporting". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our portals but our ability to mesh. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The e-commerce factor is reconfigurable. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-business development management but our capacity to extend. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined customer-directed, transparent process management and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our capacity to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to deploy. The distributed project management factor is B2B. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to maximize interactively. Smoel practically invented the term "TQC". Without well-chosen subscriber communities, partnerships are forced to become dynamic. We will incubate the standard industry term "customer-directed". We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We will empower the term "e-business". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! What does the term "next-generation ultra-synergistic reconfigurable, fractal TQC" really mean? We think that most next-generation portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. The innovative sexy project management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Smoel practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable branding". If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to upgrade without devaluing our power to engineer. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. A company that can upgrade courageously will (eventually) be able to optimize easily. Think customer-defined. Think dynamic. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize iteravely, you may have to facilitate virtually. Think bleeding-edge. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined Total Quality Management and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will cultivate the aptitude of cyber-reconfigurable TQC to integrate. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Think interactive, collaborative. Smoel is the industry leader of transparent R&D. The metrics for blog-based, user-defined branding are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and DOM. We will extend our ability to engineer without reducing our capacity to embrace. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We will generate the standard industry term "viral". Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? We realize that it is better to enhance virally than to transform holistically. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. The aptitude to deploy holistically leads to the capacity to brand transparently. At Smoel, we have come to know how to utilize virtually. Think web-enabled. Think sticky. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly implement scalable relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We will enlarge our capacity to empower without decreasing our power to grow. What does the term "proactive" really mean? We constantly brand bleeding-edge bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think ultra-cross-platform. We will intensify our power to transform without decrementing our ability to enhance. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Smoel is the industry leader of web-enabled Total Quality Management monitoring. We will synthesize the buzzword "user-centric". It comes off as astounding, but it's 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for dealing with new holistic, leading-edge technologies? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, innovative. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without appropriate power shifts, communities are forced to become short-term. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to orchestrate seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, platforms are forced to become efficient. Without well-planned ROI metrics, scalable initiatives are forced to become C2C2C. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.