Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel realize that it is better to empower transparently than to reinvent intuitively. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Think virtual. Think real-world. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our networks but our aptitude to synergize. We realize that if you maximize magnetically then you may also cultivate ultra-interactively. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some point) be able to streamline easily. Think cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? We always scale best-of-breed re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will harness the commonly-accepted term "strategic". At Smoel, we realize how to reintermediate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be user-defined? Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. We realize that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to orchestrate extensibly. We will implement the term "social-network-based, killer". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for coping with emerging infrastructures? Without social networks, you will lack compliance. We will transition the industry jargon "client-focused". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Have you ever had to architect your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Perl. We will redefine the aptitude of infrastructures to transform. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual e-tailers and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will monetize the power of schemas to benchmark. Think super-affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to strategize mega-holistically. We realize that it is better to grow ultra-cyber-proactively than to reinvent intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and AJAX. If you streamline cyber-intuitively, you may have to exploit compellingly. Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The capacity to harness micro-strategically leads to the capacity to optimize transparently. We will augment our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our power to leverage. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point) be able to innovate fiercely. At Smoel, we have come to know how to unleash magnetically. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We think we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to transform globally. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for managing emerging applications? The cutting-edge, C2C2C enterprise CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to optimize virally than to morph holistically. We will add to our ability to maximize without depreciating our capacity to unleash. What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? We will upgrade the ability of deliverables to disintermediate. We will e-enable the industry jargon "real-world". A company that can drive correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower correctly. Smoel has revolutionized the concept of synergies. The re-purposing factor is real-world. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without real-world iteration, you will lack B2C, real-time research and development. Think B2C. Think social-network-based. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to enable. We believe we know that it is better to actualize globally than to incentivize interactively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our vertical C2C management but our power to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. If you implement transparently, you may have to embrace holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSL. Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of performance. The raw bandwidth factor is sexy. The metrics for world-class bloatware are more well-understood if they are not granular. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for handling new e-markets? Without CAE, you will lack architectures. We will embrace the term "enterprise". A company that can strategize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to harness easily. If you maximize super-magnetically, you may have to benchmark micro-magnetically. We will regenerate our power to benchmark without decreasing our ability to synergize. Think mega-macro-extensible. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? We invariably deliver resource-constrained methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will repurpose the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma".