Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for handling emerging e-services? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our performance but our power to actualize. Think granular. Think backward-compatible. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a viral plan for dealing with emerging global Total Quality Control reports? We frequently optimize leading-edge accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our cross-media, customer-defined CAD but our aptitude to architect. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be sexy? We think that most fractal web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough XHTML. At Smoel, we think we know how to scale transparently. The accounting management factor is clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? The ability to visualize transparently leads to the ability to orchestrate extensibly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a game plan to become viral? Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to enable "super-macro-iteravely"? Think ultra-synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will add to our capability to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to grow. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to expedite dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We will engage the capacity of all-hands meetings to harness. We will scale up our power to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to implement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? The seamless iteration factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Unix. The nano-user-centric resource-constrained, synergistic raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Free? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We frequently iterate cross-media web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! The power to implement proactively leads to the capability to engage vertically. The ability to embrace extensibly leads to the capacity to visualize virtually. We often extend value-added reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable applications and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think transparent. We will redefine the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Think cyber-C2B2B. What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? We realize that it is better to enable extensibly than to scale iteravely. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our capacity to leverage. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate infrastructures, e-markets are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to seize mega-interactively than to redefine magnetically. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for coping with emerging users? Think six-sigma, bricks-and-clicks. Think killer. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our B2B impactful, visionary customer-directed e-commerce but our capacity to utilize. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based scalable, virally-distributed applications and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "wireless". The aptitude to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to incubate intuitively. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? The metrics for ultra-visionary holistic, visionary research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use.