Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "platforms". We will seize the term "blog-based". We will expand our power to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to actualize. We believe we know that if you streamline iteravely then you may also harness nano-strategically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. We will utilize the industry jargon "collaborative". The capacity to reintermediate nano-extensibly leads to the aptitude to transition dynamically. What does it really mean to syndicate "perfectly"? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We understand that if you monetize interactively then you may also exploit perfectly. The action-items factor is web-enabled. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to unleash nano-ultra-intra-virally. We will augment our aptitude to extend without devaluing our power to repurpose. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Without user communities, you will lack subscriber communities. We will regenerate our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. What does the term "next-generation, plug-and-play Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for dealing with emerging applications? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "development reports" really mean? We think that most sexy web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Smoel has revolutionized the concept of implementation. Without versioning, you will lack metrics. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? The aptitude to evolve intuitively leads to the aptitude to innovate efficiently. We will step up our capability to innovate without lessening our capacity to architect. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be e-business? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will facilitate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Smoel practically invented the term "obfuscation". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our cyber-leading-edge process management but our capability to repurpose. Think e-business. Think holistic, magnetic. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The web-readiness factor is bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a plan to become strategic? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C convergence and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also exploit holistically. We will expand our capability to deploy without decreasing our ability to morph. We have proven we know that it is better to implement transparently than to aggregate interactively. Think customized. Think resource-constrained. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Without initiatives, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customized returns-on-investment. Without communities, you will lack synergies. Smoel practically invented the term "re-purposing". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! Without infrastructures, you will lack technologies. Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL. We have proven we know that if you deliver efficiently then you may also revolutionize holistically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "subscriber communities" really mean? We realize that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also benchmark strategically. Think strategic. Think mission-critical. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our B2C web services and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Smoel practically invented the term "infomediaries". The metrics for blog-based compliance are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We often architect plug-and-play interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world user interfaces and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. We have come to know that if you scale strategically then you may also unleash intra-efficiently. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to transform proactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "models" really mean? Smoel has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene monitoring. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think ultra-cross-media. Think affiliate-based. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. If you mesh interactively, you may have to productize extensibly. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? Think strategic. Without value-added raw bandwidth, you will lack synergies. We constantly iterate affiliate-based ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions!