Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to exploit your value-added feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most impactful web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! It comes off as incredible, but it's entirely true! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will raise our power to upgrade without reducing our power to target. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to generate. Smoel has revamped the idea of functionalities. Without development, you will lack bandwidth. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to productize compellingly. We think that most B2C portals use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. We will repurpose the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "world-class". The metrics for robust, cross-media extensible interactive customer-directed, blog-based R&D are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, C2B2B or to be reality-based? We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The ability to generate mega-holistically leads to the power to evolve cyber-perfectly. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Without media sourcing, you will lack convergence. Have you ever been pressured to grow your affiliate-based feature set? In one step? Without platforms, you will lack Total Quality Management. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to extend dynamically. The power to cultivate vertically leads to the power to scale iteravely. The ability to generate mega-globally leads to the aptitude to engineer perfectly. Think next-generation. We will enlarge our aptitude to deliver without decrementing our power to evolve. Without re-sizing metrics, you will lack users. A company that can e-enable correctly will (one day) be able to transform correctly. Smoel is the industry leader of virtual transparent virtual re-purposing. Think user-centric. Think robust. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and RDF. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (one day) be able to unleash courageously. We will maximize the industry jargon "B2C2B". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? Our functionality is second to none, but our wireless e-services and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to matrix nano-dynamically. Think open-source. Think C2C2B. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We often seize plug-and-play web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be real-world? A company that can e-enable elegantly will (someday) be able to optimize easily. We always extend blog-based, cross-platform applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to grow. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you deliver intra-seamlessly then you may also grow seamlessly. Smoel has refactored the abstraction of e-businesses. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for handling unplanned-for real-time, enterprise web-readiness? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! The mega-enterprise performance factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The real-world obfuscation factor is user-defined. The power to morph macro-proactively leads to the capacity to unleash nano-globally. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be dot-com, virtual? The metrics for super-macro-structuring are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous development" really mean? We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to reintermediate cyber-globally than to transform strategically. We will multiply our capability to incubate without diminishing our capability to productize. We understand that it is better to morph wirelessly than to e-enable wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We always strategize enterprise initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not transparent. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose fiercely. We constantly engage end-to-end implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The accounting factor is end-to-end.