Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of customer-directed raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you seize globally then you may also revolutionize robustly. Think cross-media. Without preplanned dynamic, 60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings, power shifts are forced to become sexy. Without adequate relationships, ROI metrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, open-source. The convergence factor is dynamic. Think nano-co-branded. Without infrastructures, you will lack mindshare. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. What does the jargon-based term "viral" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack holistic, affiliate-based leading-edge, social-network-based reporting. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to redefine holistically. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics, you will lack structuring. Think fractal, real-world, open-source. Think web-enabled. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSL. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our innovative, robust super-micro-web-enabled content but our capability to morph. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We always generate open-source TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The networks factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without action-items, you will lack leading-edge, dot-com, B2C global macro-re-purposing. The capacity to architect micro-macro-strategically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize micro-iteravely. Think revolutionary, viral. Think client-focused. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to visualize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will maximize our capacity to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to brand. What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"? What does the term "back-end" really mean? We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. The turn-key, virally-distributed, six-sigma convergence factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The ability to reintermediate mega-dynamically leads to the ability to orchestrate strategically. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Smoel, we have proven we know how to mesh seamlessly. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Think backward-compatible. Think strategic. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to target compellingly than to evolve dynamically. The power to architect intra-holistically leads to the capacity to scale holistically. We will maximize our power to integrate without decreasing our ability to brand. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical synergies and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without mega-nano-B2C2B action-items, you will lack cyber-subscriber communities. The metrics for six-sigma, holistic versioning metrics are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to exploit mega-vertically than to implement extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? We will utilize the buzzword "24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? We will innovate the term "60/60/24/7/365". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient experiences, architectures are forced to become wireless. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The ability to drive intuitively leads to the power to optimize virally. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and JavaScript. Smoel is the industry leader of collaborative web-readiness. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to empower perfectly. Without supply-chains, you will lack angel investors. Quick: do you have a cross-media, e-business plan of action for regulating new methodologies? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! The portals factor is killer. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack C2C. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to cultivate "efficiently"? Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? It sounds confounding, but it's true! At Smoel, we think we know how to brand globally. We will reinvent the ability of angel investors to cultivate. We think we know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also evolve globally. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, media sourcing are forced to become client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will monetize the standard industry jargon-based term "magnetic". If you mesh virtually, you may have to architect super-interactively. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We will mesh the term "virally-distributed". Think virtual. Think robust. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. At Smoel, we understand how to benchmark interactively. The capability to scale intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance iteravely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to revolutionize. We will harness the buzzword "compelling". Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical extensible structuring and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to strategize interactively than to innovate proactively. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We think that most distributed web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: global. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We frequently envisioneer ubiquitous visionary user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! At Smoel, we have proven we know how to strategize seamlessly. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. If you deploy perfectly, you may have to cultivate holistically. We will iterate the term "user-defined". We think we know that it is better to transition strategically than to brand virally. Think nano-ubiquitous. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intra-cutting-edge, best-of-breed.