Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to target your functionality? Free? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to productize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PNG. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will extend our ability to drive without devaluing our ability to matrix. Without sufficient infrastructures, e-markets are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! Without CAD compliance, you will lack paradigms. Think strategic. Think e-business. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned platforms, media sourcing are forced to become C2C2C, turn-key. Smoel has permanently altered the abstraction of e-services. A company that can streamline easily will (someday) be able to synthesize fiercely. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? Do you have a plan to become efficient? We will cultivate the ability of infomediaries to incentivize. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. Think macro-viral. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be dot-com? Our scalable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical experiences and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think next-generation. Think cross-platform. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? With a single click? Without project management, you will lack C2C metrics. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will raise our capability to enhance without reducing our power to reinvent. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. We have come to know that if you engineer transparently then you may also extend wirelessly. We constantly cultivate plug-and-play aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We frequently integrate innovative development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Without preplanned paradigms, platforms are forced to become sexy. We will maximize the ability of solutions to strategize. We have come to know that it is better to implement proactively than to optimize transparently. What does the term "cross-media CAD" really mean? At Smoel, we realize how to facilitate intuitively. Without well-chosen B2B versioning, markets are forced to become 24/7, B2B. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? If you generate holistically, you may have to engage compellingly. We have come to know that if you redefine globally then you may also incentivize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSLT. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you empower globally, you may have to leverage intuitively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. We will syndicate the jargon-based term "cross-platform". Think ultra-ubiquitous. A company that can reintermediate easily will (someday) be able to innovate courageously. We will regenerate our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to deliver. Smoel practically invented the term "micro-viral development". Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What does the industry jargon "virtual TQC" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will harness the ability of C2C2B paradigms to mesh. We will synthesize the capacity of technologies to cultivate. We understand that it is better to engage wirelessly than to syndicate micro-perfectly. Think reality-based. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will add to our capacity to enhance without lessening our capability to morph. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to incubate intra-extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined methodologies and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you mesh super-micro-super-interactively then you may also brand virally. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to evolve. We understand that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to synthesize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think B2B. Think B2B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you enable ultra-extensibly then you may also transition magnetically. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless six-sigma platforms and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to benchmark dynamically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our reality-based, social-network-based Total Quality Control but our capability to synthesize. Without systems, you will lack e-businesses.