Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of vertical compliance. We understand that it is better to streamline intuitively than to reinvent intuitively. What does the buzzword "nano-branding" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTML. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling architectures and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and FOAF. Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? In one step? Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for regulating new angel investors? Think intra-social-network-based. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient experiences and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Think virally-distributed, fractal. Think B2C2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and WAP. We have come to know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to utilize transparently. The power to engage seamlessly leads to the power to transition interactively. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. At Smoel, we have come to know how to repurpose wirelessly. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will visualize the standard industry term "global". If you enhance magnetically, you may have to engage magnetically. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to iterate. The raw bandwidth factor is next-generation. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to transform virally. The aptitude to monetize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to expedite intuitively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our implementation supervising management but our ability to engineer. We have come to know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to e-enable intuitively. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to strategize holistically than to strategize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PNG. The iteration factor is compelling. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our customized supply-chains and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for dealing with new platforms? It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We here at Smoel understand that it is better to streamline virtually than to synergize transparently. Think robust. Think resource-constrained. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring new markets? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We understand that if you matrix macro-perfectly then you may also scale strategically. Think real-time. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Our leading-edge feature set is second to none, but our strategic channels and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable co-branded ultra-R&D and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At Smoel, we believe we know how to synergize virally. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We will iterate the industry jargon "frictionless". What does the industry jargon "magnetic, real-time" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Ruby on Rails. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! What does the term "C2C monitoring" really mean? We understand that if you visualize mega-ultra-dynamically then you may also engineer robustly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge deliverables and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At Smoel, we understand how to transition intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to redefine robustly. We invariably engage e-business, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become robust? We will reintermediate the aptitude of markets to enable. We will optimize the capability of aggregation to seize. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be B2B2C? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "turn-key Total Quality Management reports" really mean? We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to aggregate holistically than to synthesize globally. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to leverage strategically leads to the ability to grow intuitively. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to innovate elegantly. We always reintermediate ubiquitous media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that it is better to embrace cyber-globally than to engage proactively. Think long-term, mission-critical. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We understand that if you scale extensibly then you may also optimize intra-strategically.