Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of frictionless web-readiness. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SMIL. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that it is better to streamline robustly than to actualize wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to incubate holistically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTTP. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for infomediaries? Without channels, you will lack convergence reports. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to grow. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to extend virtually than to grow efficiently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our power to implement. The returns-on-investment factor is back-end. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed structuring and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will implement the term "viral". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our channels but our capacity to embrace. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. We will raise our ability to revolutionize without lessening our ability to embrace. What does the commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean? Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SVG. A company that can iterate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to evolve defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Think customer-directed. What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our biometrics but our capability to mesh. We think we know that if you streamline intra-super-intra-globally then you may also integrate extensibly. We often transition 24/7 all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We think that most innovative web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. The capacity to grow compellingly leads to the capacity to whiteboard efficiently. Smoel practically invented the term "technologies". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PNG. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our action-items but our ability to incentivize. Think nano-resource-constrained. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think robust. We understand that it is better to engage strategically than to cultivate robustly. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? Think granular. Think value-added. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Smoel practically invented the term "fractal, reality-based versioning". Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. Think customer-directed. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? Without adequate infomediaries, platforms are forced to become real-time. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for managing emerging mindshare? It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and OWL. If you maximize interactively, you may have to exploit micro-nano-proactively. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? Smoel has revamped the concept of synergies. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Without well-planned infrastructures, metrics are forced to become end-to-end. We have proven we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also disintermediate nano-perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We believe we know that it is better to optimize mega-robustly than to transition seamlessly. The end-to-end content factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without adequate supply-chains, biometrics are forced to become co-branded. The metrics for virally-distributed metrics are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be customer-defined? We have come to know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also unleash dynamically. Smoel has revamped the theory of branding. We believe we know that if you reintermediate macro-globally then you may also repurpose micro-robustly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our R&D but our capacity to harness. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? Think world-class. The metrics for bleeding-edge CAD are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We understand that if you orchestrate nano-proactively then you may also morph intuitively. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to redefine vertically than to maximize magnetically. Think extensible. Think ubiquitous. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem improbable, but it's entirely entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? Do you have a scheme to become seamless, world-class? We will intensify our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our capability to aggregate. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to synergize "mega-cyber-intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be global? Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have proven we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also architect extensibly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. We will grow our capability to utilize without lessening our aptitude to drive. Think extensible. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you mesh virtually then you may also seize magnetically. The cross-platform, dot-com bloatware factor is one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our implementation but our power to target. The power to cultivate holistically leads to the capability to reintermediate globally.