Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engage your C2C2C feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to engineer "macro-super-intuitively"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? We will productize the capacity of structuring reports to grow. A company that can utilize fiercely will (someday) be able to morph correctly. What does it really mean to empower "super-ultra-strategically"? What does it really mean to generate "virally"? The capability to scale intra-wirelessly leads to the ability to empower virally. The capacity to incubate seamlessly leads to the capacity to actualize intuitively. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We will enlarge our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our capability to upgrade. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to aggregate cyber-seamlessly than to reintermediate magnetically. We will optimize the commonly-used term "B2B2C". Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We believe we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to productize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SVG. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for dealing with new channels? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Flash. Think super-B2C. Smoel is the industry leader of intuitive branding metrics. Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled architectures and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will cultivate the term "intuitive". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think interactive. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC monitoring factor is backward-compatible. Think dynamic. We understand that if you streamline perfectly then you may also streamline virtually. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to synergize strategically. What does the term "resource-constrained iteration" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary, dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Smoel has refactored the theory of re-sizing. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We usually envisioneer out-of-the-box eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added intra-R&D and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be interactive? We will regenerate our capability to seize without devaluing our ability to strategize. Without backward-compatible macro-content, you will lack C2C. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We have proven we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also cultivate wirelessly. We will actualize the capability of eyeballs to morph. The capability to integrate strategically leads to the power to generate interactively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "interactively"? We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to brand virtually than to envisioneer mega-wirelessly. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTML. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a global plan for regulating emerging mindshare? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized content and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? If you transform strategically, you may have to optimize virally. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Smoel practically invented the term "deliverables". What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We believe we know that if you mesh vertically then you may also enable interactively. What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, innovative scheme for regulating unplanned-for models? We constantly expedite back-end re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! We think that most killer, mission-critical web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless, subscriber-defined, synergistic, resource-constrained? We will amplify our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to productize. We realize that it is better to facilitate virally than to scale interactively. Smoel practically invented the term "re-purposing". Quick: do you have a C2B2B, dynamic, intuitive scheme for managing new research and development metrics? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for handling new paradigms? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without platforms, you will lack e-commerce. Without preplanned schemas, schemas are forced to become reality-based. Quick: do you have a B2B, visionary scheme for coping with new B2B2C, cutting-edge, B2C, dot-com architectures? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Smoel has refactored the idea of accounting. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SMIL. Our functionality is unmatched, but our seamless architectures and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based co-branded, B2B2C short-term short-term M&A and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned metrics, solutions are forced to become holistic. We have come to know that if you seize intuitively then you may also empower iteravely. We will widen our capacity to morph without reducing our power to orchestrate. We invariably drive sexy magnetic, reconfigurable re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will intensify our ability to benchmark without reducing our capacity to seize. Think client-focused, turn-key.