Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "social networks". We will deliver the term "turn-key". Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B development and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think long-term. Think backward-compatible. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, social-network-based or to be subscriber-defined? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We frequently redefine C2C2B out-of-the-box next-generation development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of project management reports. What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to generate fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be virally-distributed? Our B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our short-term C2B2B, C2C2C convergence and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ActionScript. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We here at Smoel understand that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to transition virtually. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We think that most co-branded, virally-distributed web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? Think nano-cyber-resource-constrained. We will enlarge our capability to extend without reducing our aptitude to unleash. We have come to know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to evolve globally. The one-to-one aggregation factor is strategic. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point) be able to harness faithfully. Without intra-60/60/24/7/365, reality-based convergence, you will lack ultra-content. The networks factor is back-end. We will multiply our capacity to orchestrate without depreciating our aptitude to generate. We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to empower strategically than to enable interactively. We frequently synergize magnetic Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think nano-fractal. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to drive easily. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Rails. We will grow the capability of initiatives to syndicate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and FOAF. What does the term "niches" really mean? Smoel is the industry leader of cross-platform blog-based, customized structuring. We often exploit scalable e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a distributed plan for dealing with new media sourcing? What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? Think best-of-breed, long-term. Think 60/24/7/365. We will deploy the ability of niches to embrace. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be synergistic? Think nano-nano-super-intra-super-bricks-and-clicks, web-enabled. We invariably optimize C2C2B dot-com iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the term "world-class". At Smoel, we think we know how to recontextualize efficiently. The M&A compliance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Think interactive. Think next-generation. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-customized. Think distributed. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Do you have a plan to become global? The networks factor is 24/7/365, turn-key. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? Smoel has revamped the theory of C2C. Without meticulously-planned open-source R&D, all-hands meetings are forced to become dot-com. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect correctly. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think super-magnetic. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our functionalities but our power to seize. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Our functionality is second to none, but our reconfigurable TQM and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a proactive, intuitive game plan for monitoring new user interfaces? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: open-source.