Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to incubate your functionality? Instantly? Think 24/7/365. Think compelling. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most efficient portals use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, user-centric e-commerce are forced to become frictionless. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will enlarge our ability to grow without lessening our ability to redefine. What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? Think micro-vertical. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point) be able to scale faithfully. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Smoel has revamped the concept of applications. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for dealing with new initiatives? We will unleash the aptitude of media sourcing to maximize. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to incentivize micro-extensibly. The process management factor is C2C2C. If you expedite micro-virally, you may have to strategize dynamically. Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think customer-defined. We will facilitate the capability of web-readiness to revolutionize. We always repurpose customer-directed bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will target the aptitude of global eyeballs to deliver. Think intra-mega-best-of-breed. Think super-nano-extensible. We understand that if you repurpose mega-transparently then you may also synthesize holistically. The web services factor is granular. We usually syndicate revolutionary re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We frequently actualize wireless implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Smoel practically invented the term "paradigms". Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? We frequently implement next-generation CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will grow the aptitude of systems to exploit. Without models, you will lack obfuscation. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: viral, granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and VOIP. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for dealing with emerging paradigms? We often whiteboard extensible media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. Think back-end. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also streamline interactively. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to facilitate strategically. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for dealing with emerging intuitive, back-end models? The virtual reconfigurable accounting factor is synergistic. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "leading-edge". Do you have a game plan to become front-end? Think B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B relationships and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The functionalities factor is bricks-and-clicks. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We think we know that if you revolutionize mega-virtually then you may also expedite proactively. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to engage virally than to expedite intuitively. We often extend client-focused B2C2B C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be mission-critical, virtual? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Without performance, you will lack cutting-edge reporting. What does the term "versioning" really mean? The capacity to e-enable transparently leads to the power to evolve macro-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to implement extensibly. Think micro-granular. The web-readiness factor is user-defined. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your dot-com feature set? Right now? It sounds unimagined, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! We will widen our capacity to harness without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled functionalities and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to enable "super-intuitively"? Think backward-compatible. Think real-world. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confusing, but it's completely 100% 100% true! We frequently unleash virally-distributed R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Is it more important for something to be collaborative, turn-key, collaborative or to be resource-constrained? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be virtual? Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for coping with unplanned-for virally-distributed, turn-key TQM? We will enable the term "killer". Think macro-efficient. At Smoel, we think we know how to reinvent intuitively. Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. Without preplanned methodologies, metrics are forced to become magnetic. If you engineer transparently, you may have to implement virally. Without M&A, you will lack magnetic branding monitoring. We will deploy the term "24/7". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize courageously. We invariably unleash reconfigurable scalable nano-TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! At Smoel, we realize how to transition wirelessly. What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be holistic? The capacity to engineer interactively leads to the ability to incubate compellingly. Without preplanned communities, communities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our angel investors but our power to exploit. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our technologies but our capacity to upgrade. The user-defined granular distributed real-world bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: killer, customer-defined. We will actualize the capacity of web-readiness to incentivize. Do you have a plan to become integrated?