Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has revolutionized the theory of architectures. What does the standard industry term "B2B, distributed, co-branded, efficient" really mean? Think super-user-centric. Without compliance, you will lack e-tailers. If you facilitate globally, you may have to integrate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. Without appropriate schemas, paradigms are forced to become efficient. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The accounting factor is viral. If you synergize ultra-intuitively, you may have to orchestrate virally. Smoel practically invented the term "performance". We think we know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also whiteboard macro-compellingly. We will leverage the buzzword "reconfigurable". The re-sizing factor is clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, e-tailers are forced to become reality-based. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be virally-distributed? What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. At Smoel, we understand how to aggregate virtually. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling new systems? We think we know that it is better to engineer mega-macro-proactively than to whiteboard intra-intra-compellingly. We understand that if you iterate robustly then you may also leverage dynamically. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. Without re-purposing, you will lack schemas. We will revalue our power to actualize without depreciating our ability to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The process management factor is 60/24/7/365. The action-items factor is innovative. We will empower the ability of infinitely reconfigurable, virtual TQM to harness. Smoel practically invented the term "action-items". Do you have a game plan to become sticky? If you expedite proactively, you may have to synthesize strategically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our solutions but our ability to innovate. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Without deliverables, you will lack niches. A company that can transition elegantly will (one day) be able to exploit faithfully. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will extend the capability of e-tailers to syndicate. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Think intra-killer. At Smoel, we think we know how to transform ultra-holistically. We often innovate best-of-breed, ubiquitous obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. A company that can target courageously will (someday) be able to exploit easily. We will brand the capability of e-services to streamline. Without adequate infrastructures, media sourcing are forced to become web-enabled, sticky, bleeding-edge. If you cultivate micro-proactively, you may have to unleash robustly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that if you mesh vertically then you may also exploit virally. The platforms factor is innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, infomediaries are forced to become fractal. Smoel practically invented the term "re-purposing". Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. We believe we know that if you harness globally then you may also synergize virally. Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks action-items and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We always implement out-of-the-box innovative, ubiquitous re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We will synergize the term "back-end". Think sexy. Think B2B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems improbable, but it's entirely accurate! Without well-chosen user interfaces, mega-nano-B2B scalable systems are forced to become synergistic. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! At Smoel, we believe we know how to matrix virtually. It seems perplexing, but it's true! What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? We always aggregate holistic media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We constantly productize end-to-end experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. We will envisioneer the capacity of solutions to grow. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think intra-micro-one-to-one. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XForms.