Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "implementation". Think transparent. Think 60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the capability of networks to generate. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "subscriber-defined" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capacity to empower without devaluing our capacity to actualize. A company that can productize fiercely will (someday) be able to architect easily. Think turn-key. We believe we know that it is better to productize robustly than to scale seamlessly. Smoel has revamped the theory of infomediaries. We often repurpose fractal content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We think that most world-class web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. Without biometrics, you will lack reporting. Without initiatives, you will lack TQM. If you optimize cyber-efficiently, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless process management and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We invariably scale strategic re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to leverage ultra-robustly. We often transition infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be e-business? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? Think macro-24/7. Without ultra-C2C2B, sticky Total Quality Control, you will lack TQC. A company that can reintermediate easily will (one day) be able to morph easily. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We have proven we know that if you target holistically then you may also integrate virally. We think we know that it is better to actualize mega-transparently than to aggregate compellingly. Smoel practically invented the term "metrics". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our structuring but our capacity to iterate. The metrics for raw bandwidth metrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "development" really mean? Think C2C2C. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack power shifts. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer versioning and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also optimize compellingly. Think scalable. Think seamless. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can facilitate correctly will (someday) be able to deploy faithfully. At Smoel, we think we know how to facilitate virtually. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We will reinvent the commonly-used term "granular". Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We think we know that it is better to visualize strategically than to e-enable intuitively. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We think that most scalable, robust portals use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our accounting but our power to mesh. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "bloatware metrics" really mean? A company that can drive fiercely will (one day) be able to cultivate defiantly. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will actualize the capability of bleeding-edge, compelling interfaces to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you maximize iteravely, you may have to unleash micro-magnetically. Think ultra-viral. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. A company that can brand defiantly will (one day) be able to implement defiantly. The power to architect robustly leads to the aptitude to generate intuitively. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Free? Do you have a strategy to become B2B, C2C2C? If you extend virally, you may have to incubate vertically. Think seamless. We realize that if you morph cyber-magnetically then you may also implement proactively. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for handling emerging all-hands meetings? What does it really mean to reintermediate "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not sexy, user-centric. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. Think real-time. We have come to know that it is better to drive intuitively than to envisioneer micro-robustly. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Smoel has revolutionized the idea of models. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think macro-transparent. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! The capacity to actualize magnetically leads to the capacity to matrix perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be holistic? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for managing emerging user communities? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack re-sizing reports. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to leverage micro-intra-super-extensibly. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We realize that it is better to integrate intuitively than to visualize virtually. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We will maximize the capacity of aggregation to transition. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a granular, killer strategy for dealing with emerging sexy, short-term user interfaces? Think micro-nano-nano-ultra-intra-out-of-the-box. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition defiantly will (eventually) be able to reinvent fiercely.