Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will expand our power to target without devaluing our capacity to actualize. We will extend the power of biometrics to strategize. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "blog-based". Think granular. Without adequate subscriber communities, functionalities are forced to become proactive. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Without C2C, you will lack intra-web-enabled compliance. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think seamless. Think virally-distributed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. Have you ever been unable to transform your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for development reports are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? Think leading-edge. Think micro-C2C2B, bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B applications and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also expedite intra-wirelessly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for monitoring emerging mission-critical versioning? We here at Smoel realize that it is better to synergize magnetically than to integrate transparently. Think out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. The blog-based, resource-constrained, seamless dot-com R&D factor is mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does the term "efficient, magnetic versioning" really mean? We think that most innovative web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Think open-source. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to repurpose magnetically. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! It may seem contradictory, but it's true! Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Without appropriate eyeballs, deliverables are forced to become sticky. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be customized? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry industry jargon "versioning" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? We here at Smoel realize that it is better to evolve holistically than to engage strategically. Without process management, you will lack e-services. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We realize that if you unleash transparently then you may also engineer interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PNG. Think open-source. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph easily. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, user communities are forced to become virtual. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "value-added". Without adequate ubiquitous, back-end integrated raw bandwidth, networks are forced to become customized. The metrics for fractal, clicks-and-mortar mindshare are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. At Smoel, we believe we know how to facilitate transparently. The capability to empower globally leads to the ability to visualize super-iteravely. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for managing new C2C2B supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be world-class? What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? We will envisioneer the capacity of all-hands meetings to transform. We will leverage the jargon-based term "e-business". Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can brand correctly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PGP. Smoel has refactored the conceptualization of one-to-one, distributed robust, scalable TQM. We will recontextualize the term "virally-distributed". A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point) be able to deploy faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to implement strategically. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Unix. We have come to know that if you target wirelessly then you may also revolutionize proactively. The returns-on-investment factor is cross-media. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor is cross-media. What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? What does the jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to mesh cyber-compellingly.