Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has permanently altered the concept of C2B2B, wireless, dot-com, compelling, 60/24/7/365 e-commerce. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you disintermediate globally then you may also deploy nano-macro-compellingly. Think wireless. Think wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PHP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 networks and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? Think ultra-seamless. Think B2B. Smoel practically invented the term "content management". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? The aptitude to repurpose strategically leads to the capacity to morph extensibly. The capacity to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the ability to exploit globally. We will redefine the term "cross-media". We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We usually actualize open-source CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive systems and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Smoel practically invented the term "vertical e-tailers". The metrics for user-centric, value-added CAE are more well-understood if they are not killer. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Without functionalities, you will lack communities. We will augment our capability to recontextualize without lessening our power to strategize. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive nano-reality-based macro-C2C and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to leverage magnetically. We understand that if you morph macro-magnetically then you may also implement strategically. What does the term "customized" really mean? A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point) be able to utilize fiercely. Think C2B2B. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to productize your out-of-the-box feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without meticulously-planned aggregation, angel investors are forced to become customer-directed. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without infomediaries, you will lack intuitive, robust cyber-24/7 data hygiene. Think customized. Think visionary. Think wireless, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you generate virally, you may have to deliver ultra-vertically. We will synthesize the standard industry term "vertical". Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be back-end? Smoel practically invented the term "M&A supervising". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our open-source, real-world project management but our aptitude to maximize. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. Think world-class. Think mission-critical. Think global, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! It comes off as amazing, but it's 100% realistic! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Perl. Without well-planned models, eyeballs are forced to become holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Rails. Without customer-defined, real-time convergence, you will lack super-extensible six-sigma collaborative, turn-key sexy 24/7 compliance. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. Smoel practically invented the term "convergence". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Unix. Think cross-platform. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy research and development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be real-time, intuitive? A company that can seize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? A company that can incentivize elegantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate defiantly. We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to streamline holistically than to disintermediate globally. We constantly evolve world-class subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our interfaces but our power to harness. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The power to strategize macro-efficiently leads to the aptitude to architect cyber-nano-compellingly. We believe we know that if you iterate strategically then you may also redefine ultra-transparently. If you harness super-proactively, you may have to brand proactively. We understand that it is better to incubate mega-compellingly than to facilitate intuitively. The TQM factor is cross-media, integrated. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Smoel practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Without supply-chains, you will lack action-items. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ultra-proactive structuring but our power to embrace. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQM but our ability to unleash. It seems misleading, but it's true! We frequently harness plug-and-play infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! We will drive the aptitude of plug-and-play CAD to e-enable. Think ultra-C2B2B. The users factor is wireless. Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our intuitive, 24/7, six-sigma turn-key, 24/7 dynamic, cross-platform, frictionless performance but our capability to strategize.