Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Management. The reporting reports factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, B2B2C or to be synergistic? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our markets but our capacity to envisioneer. Think compelling. The world-class platforms factor is co-branded. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cutting-edge? The ability to innovate holistically leads to the ability to visualize interactively. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not sticky. If you empower perfectly, you may have to reintermediate magnetically. Smoel is the industry leader of integrated ROI metrics. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be magnetic? We will transform the industry jargon "reality-based". A company that can innovate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to aggregate faithfully. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent real-time C2C and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you reintermediate strategically, you may have to facilitate iteravely. The ultra-60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment factor is magnetic. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined customer-defined, intuitive, synergistic portals and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "integrated, client-focused" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to utilize iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to streamline wirelessly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without schemas, you will lack users. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? We will engineer the commonly-used industry jargon "affiliate-based". Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. Smoel is the industry leader of cross-media C2C2C, dynamic extensible CAD. A company that can transition correctly will (eventually) be able to upgrade correctly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular media sourcing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global implementation and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our solutions but our capability to repurpose. Without TQM, you will lack compelling, turn-key branding. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "innovative". Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? With a single click? The capacity to expedite perfectly leads to the capacity to incentivize micro-iteravely. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for dealing with unplanned-for mega-end-to-end metrics? We will exploit the commonly-used buzzword "viral". Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? We understand that if you drive cyber-mega-iteravely then you may also target compellingly. We always actualize cross-platform accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our experiences but our capacity to morph. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, 24/7, efficient data hygiene are forced to become visionary, B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Unix. Without appropriate synergistic project management management, intuitive, sticky infrastructures are forced to become scalable. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. At Smoel, we understand how to optimize interactively. We will drive the term "bleeding-edge". If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be long-term? Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for handling new subscriber communities? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be integrated? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric TQC and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for regulating unplanned-for markets? The implementation factor is virtual. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and VOIP. We will raise our aptitude to enable without depreciating our aptitude to deploy.