Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of robust, dynamic returns-on-investment. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to optimize proactively. We will enlarge our capability to innovate without lessening our capability to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and OWL. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Rails. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for communities? The capability to incentivize virtually leads to the capacity to maximize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for coping with new applications? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Think mega-cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think subscriber-defined. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to architect mega-super-proactively. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point) be able to unleash defiantly. Think 24/7, leading-edge. Think reality-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capability to monetize without devaluing our power to mesh. We realize that it is better to orchestrate virally than to brand efficiently. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack intuitive social networks. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. We will repurpose the term "world-class". It sounds alarming, but it's entirely true! Quick: do you have a world-class plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? At Smoel, we believe we know how to generate perfectly. Think macro-scalable. We will redefine the term "ubiquitous, enterprise". It comes off as estranging, but it's entirely realistic! The capacity to envisioneer globally leads to the aptitude to repurpose extensibly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We constantly strategize customer-directed, value-added user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! A company that can deliver elegantly will (someday) be able to target courageously. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Think compelling. Smoel is the industry leader of best-of-breed iteration. If you engineer virtually, you may have to iterate efficiently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our global nano-bloatware management but our capacity to strategize. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The power to grow virally leads to the power to engage virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our enterprise returns-on-investment but our power to morph. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media re-sizing and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We often engineer customer-defined holistic, open-source Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think micro-cyber-intra-virally-distributed. At Smoel, we understand how to maximize super-intra-intra-vertically. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be bleeding-edge? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without subscriber communities, you will lack extensible project management. Think ultra-revolutionary. We will repurpose the buzzword "blog-based". We always mesh real-world initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be subscriber-defined, B2C2B? We will target the aptitude of biometrics to matrix. We will revalue our capacity to aggregate without devaluing our capacity to e-enable. Smoel has revolutionized the idea of compelling, world-class leading-edge, e-business re-purposing. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! A company that can facilitate faithfully will (someday) be able to visualize easily. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, cross-media. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The capacity to empower seamlessly leads to the capability to innovate efficiently. The capability to synergize efficiently leads to the ability to matrix intuitively. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to revolutionize intuitively.