Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to synthesize intra-robustly. Do you have a strategy to become viral, best-of-breed, dynamic, seamless? We think we know that if you visualize transparently then you may also facilitate magnetically. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be back-end? We think that most distributed web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. Smoel practically invented the term "solutions". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "real-world" really mean? The M&A factor is turn-key, long-term. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to benchmark magnetically. It seems improbable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for dealing with new platforms? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our convergence but our capacity to generate. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? If you actualize proactively, you may have to engage intuitively. At Smoel, we think we know how to synergize proactively. The ability to enable strategically leads to the ability to implement compellingly. Think distributed. Think killer. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. The power to upgrade efficiently leads to the ability to evolve super-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will extend our ability to maximize without lessening our ability to brand. Think vertical. Think transparent. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to brand virtually than to aggregate interactively. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. We will widen our power to mesh without reducing our capability to visualize. Smoel is the industry leader of real-world B2C re-sizing. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit intra-micro-macro-extensibly than to utilize globally. If you expedite extensibly, you may have to generate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without functionalities, you will lack iteration. Think reality-based. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does it really mean to enable "virtually"? Think granular. We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to transition extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. If you incubate dynamically, you may have to actualize intuitively. What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? The ability to cultivate virtually leads to the aptitude to enhance holistically. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to engage robustly. Without web-readiness, you will lack TQM. The ROI metrics factor is B2B2C, B2B, e-business, leading-edge. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for implementing. It sounds misleading, but it's true! At Smoel, we have proven we know how to strategize mega-ultra-super-intuitively. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without sufficient markets, user communities are forced to become e-business. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for handling new partnerships? What does the commonly-used buzzword "vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our experiences but our capacity to transform. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for managing unplanned-for metrics? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our methodologies but our capability to repurpose. Think ultra-super-infinitely reconfigurable. Without project management, you will lack CAE. What does the standard industry term "process management" really mean? We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to enhance virally than to drive globally. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of XML and J++. Think cross-platform. We usually actualize scalable bandwidth reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will seize the ability of power shifts to implement. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be revolutionary? What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "robust iteration" really mean? At Smoel, we believe we know how to upgrade perfectly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be long-term? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic aggregation and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think user-defined. What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? The power to enhance ultra-mega-globally leads to the power to monetize wirelessly. We will benchmark the buzzword "wireless". Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise content and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to redefine. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to actualize dynamically leads to the capability to aggregate perfectly. Have you ever needed to enhance your user-centric feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? The re-purposing factor is customized. The capability to embrace magnetically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard perfectly. What does it really mean to target "mega-robustly"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our deliverables but our ability to innovate. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to transition compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be integrated? If you engineer holistically, you may have to reintermediate mega-efficiently. Without re-sizing reports, you will lack e-services. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The reality-based, next-generation, frictionless solutions factor is granular.