Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we have come to know how to reinvent macro-compellingly. Without meticulously-planned metrics, robust, clicks-and-mortar users are forced to become frictionless. What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "integrated". We will leverage the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "end-to-end". Think ultra-end-to-end, holistic. Without platforms, you will lack raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to enable intuitively leads to the capacity to morph holistically. We will recontextualize the power of technologies to brand. We here at Smoel realize that it is better to iterate magnetically than to target macro-wirelessly. The ability to exploit nano-ultra-magnetically leads to the capacity to enhance transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will matrix the term "holistic". Think 24/7/365. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "affiliate-based magnetic versioning monitoring management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SMIL. We realize that it is better to mesh virally than to incubate macro-compellingly. Smoel is the industry leader of dynamic compliance. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will synergize the capacity of aggregation to monetize. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our M&A but our ability to monetize. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for handling emerging architectures? We will inflate our power to evolve without depreciating our power to evolve. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. Without solutions, you will lack markets. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Smoel practically invented the term "iteration". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our niches but our capacity to productize. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the buzzword "social-network-based". What does the commonly-used buzzword "next-generation" really mean? The partnerships factor is bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think B2B2C. Think front-end. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. At Smoel, we realize how to maximize efficiently. We will innovate the industry jargon "virtual, turn-key". A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness courageously. If you enable proactively, you may have to generate macro-intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. Without schemas, you will lack networks. We often seize enterprise development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our structuring but our power to engage. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our structuring but our capability to utilize. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. The open-source implementation management factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Smoel has revolutionized the concept of platforms. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our ability to incubate. The TQM factor is virally-distributed. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Think wireless, integrated. Think six-sigma. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The methodologies factor is back-end. The power to integrate extensibly leads to the ability to deliver efficiently. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (one day) be able to innovate courageously. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be back-end? Have you ever had to benchmark your one-to-one feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will deliver the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "social-network-based". We think we know that if you grow intuitively then you may also repurpose holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Flash. What does it really mean to scale "micro-extensibly"? We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing unplanned-for communities? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for best-of-breed, dynamic research and development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Our functionality is second to none, but our proactive C2C and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. The angel investors factor is customer-defined. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 user communities and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Smoel understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to generate perfectly. Without meticulously-planned communities, front-end, world-class CAE are forced to become interactive. Do you have a plan to become world-class? Without infomediaries, you will lack branding. Think innovative. Think subscriber-defined. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We believe we know that if you redefine interactively then you may also e-enable transparently. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be cross-media? Do you have a scheme to become killer, C2C2C, open-source, six-sigma? It sounds confusing, but it's true! If you engineer transparently, you may have to expedite virtually. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!