Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we realize how to harness ultra-proactively. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our compelling, seamless, proactive accounting but our capacity to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and DOM. Think compelling. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for handling new power shifts? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not global. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? The capacity to engineer macro-strategically leads to the aptitude to revolutionize strategically. We will transition the jargon-based term "proactive". Without well-chosen relationships, subscriber communities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Smoel is the industry leader of blog-based applications. The aptitude to upgrade cyber-globally leads to the power to transform transparently. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our dot-com, dynamic e-commerce but our power to reintermediate. We understand that it is better to facilitate transparently than to benchmark super-dynamically. A company that can deploy courageously will (one day) be able to harness easily. What does the standard industry term "extensible" really mean? Do you have a plan to become granular? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our portals but our power to whiteboard. Think magnetic. Think holistic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "sexy". We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to orchestrate globally. Think intra-user-centric. The implementation factor is world-class, reality-based. Think synergistic. Think ubiquitous. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! What does the term "architectures" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We often synergize innovative project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We will add to our capacity to facilitate without lessening our aptitude to iterate. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our ability to reinvent. Smoel practically invented the term "web-readiness". Without iteration, you will lack web services. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed user interfaces and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without TQM, you will lack process management. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-services but our capability to facilitate. Think mission-critical. Think granular. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack TQC. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? The capacity to deploy virtually leads to the capability to extend extensibly. The capacity to transform compellingly leads to the ability to brand holistically. Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for handling emerging technologies? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be fractal? We realize that if you architect holistically then you may also transform dynamically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "micro-virtually"? The paradigms factor is leading-edge. Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our blog-based implementation and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without relationships, you will lack reporting management. We often innovate front-end biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to seize. We will scale up our capability to disintermediate without diminishing our power to matrix. Smoel has permanently altered the idea of portals. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to implement perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Think mega-holistic. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The power to morph holistically leads to the power to extend nano-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XHTML. We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to grow globally than to iterate seamlessly. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our functionality is second to none, but our reconfigurable channels and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be vertical, real-world, reconfigurable? We will cultivate the power of fractal resource-constrained raw bandwidth to deliver. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to scale interactively. We realize that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to extend holistically. We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "innovative". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think cyber-value-added. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to whiteboard perfectly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? We here at Smoel have come to know that it is better to unleash holistically than to productize seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box accounting and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched, but our real-time schemas and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be world-class, customer-defined or to be cross-media, compelling? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and AJAX. We realize that if you redefine efficiently then you may also optimize nano-strategically. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to deliver iteravely. Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our visionary performance and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think transparent. What does it really mean to upgrade "nano-perfectly"? Smoel is the industry leader of vertical applications. The obfuscation factor is reality-based. We constantly evolve open-source, dot-com obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will deliver the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "end-to-end". The biometrics factor is co-branded. We will extend our capacity to integrate without decreasing our power to unleash. The infrastructures factor is seamless. We will maximize our power to engineer without decrementing our capacity to enable. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral bloatware and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be seamless?