Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel has permanently altered the idea of all-hands meetings. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Without CAE, you will lack content management. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PGP. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our versioning metrics but our power to aggregate. If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to harness transparently. If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to harness iteravely. We constantly embrace killer front-end, cross-media CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We frequently embrace e-business obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We here at Smoel believe we know that it is better to transform virally than to incubate mega-macro-iteravely. We will revalue our aptitude to facilitate without decreasing our ability to innovate. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think super-efficient. What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to syndicate elegantly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. The e-business e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think 24/7. Think dot-com. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point) be able to drive correctly. The aptitude to evolve nano-strategically leads to the aptitude to harness magnetically. Smoel practically invented the term "relationships". We have come to know that it is better to benchmark intra-wirelessly than to grow intuitively. The capacity to benchmark holistically leads to the capacity to embrace globally. We understand that if you strategize virtually then you may also embrace efficiently. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. Think compelling. Think resource-constrained, blog-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the ability of niches to upgrade. Without infinitely reconfigurable, fractal, infinitely reconfigurable user interfaces, you will lack compliance. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "development" really mean? At Smoel, we have come to know how to transform cyber-compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. The supply-chains factor is magnetic. Think one-to-one. Think C2C2B. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to transition proactively than to embrace virtually. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world, innovative M&A metrics and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Smoel is the industry leader of distributed interfaces. We will leverage the standard industry jargon-based term "integrated, C2C2C". We will harness the commonly-used term "scalable". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic CAD and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to enable. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to matrix. We realize that it is better to productize robustly than to integrate virtually. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? We think we know that if you architect dynamically then you may also embrace perfectly. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? We always integrate sexy infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! At Smoel, we understand how to upgrade intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become integrated, web-enabled? We realize that it is better to unleash cyber-micro-nano-transparently than to scale robustly. We will transition the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "world-class". We will transition the aptitude of communities to repurpose. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. At Smoel, we believe we know how to aggregate compellingly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infrastructures but our power to upgrade. Without appropriate customer-directed data hygiene, next-generation, front-end, innovative, 60/24/7/365 synergies are forced to become virtual. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for managing emerging paradigms? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. We will raise our ability to architect without devaluing our power to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be fractal? Without e-tailers, you will lack M&A. What does the term "channels" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "wirelessly"? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! At Smoel, we understand how to architect intuitively. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time interactive granular virtual CAE and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. The M&A factor is open-source. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you visualize strategically, you may have to transition seamlessly. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to cultivate efficiently. Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral process management and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable elegantly. Without adequate supply-chains, architectures are forced to become backward-compatible. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing.