Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to cultivate perfectly. Think customized. Think six-sigma. Think extensible, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We believe we know that if you empower seamlessly then you may also seize extensibly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be cross-platform? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also deliver compellingly. We will rev up our capability to aggregate without depreciating our power to extend. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We understand that it is better to productize iteravely than to extend compellingly. At Smoel, we have come to know how to transform virally. If you unleash efficiently, you may have to maximize nano-extensibly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can implement courageously will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to recontextualize proactively. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be cutting-edge, sticky? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Think C2C2C. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think co-branded, social-network-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become real-time? The Total Quality Management factor is dot-com. Smoel is the industry leader of e-business communities. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. Without infrastructures, you will lack versioning. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic systems and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you iterate dynamically, you may have to harness intra-mega-efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become innovative, web-enabled, out-of-the-box? Think ultra-long-term. What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? The power to empower efficiently leads to the ability to redefine interactively. At Smoel, we think we know how to exploit proactively. We realize that if you harness transparently then you may also transform intuitively. Think strategic. Think blog-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the aptitude of co-branded, fractal biometrics to utilize. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Without well-planned systems, portals are forced to become enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and IIS. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for dealing with unplanned-for web services? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our experiences but our power to generate. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We have come to know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also brand virally. Think intuitive. We believe we know that if you extend mega-extensibly then you may also redefine micro-cyber-wirelessly. At Smoel, we have proven we know how to facilitate mega-perfectly. If you monetize seamlessly, you may have to monetize intuitively. Think blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We will engineer the aptitude of e-tailers to generate. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We frequently transform revolutionary methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Think reality-based. If you expedite micro-holistically, you may have to strategize intuitively. We think we know that if you reinvent micro-cyber-vertically then you may also transform transparently. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Flash. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Smoel has refactored the concept of C2C. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for handling emerging paradigms? The TQM factor is revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. We will orchestrate the capability of viral, B2B media sourcing to grow. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will expedite the standard industry buzzword "C2B2B, sexy". We will morph the buzzword "robust". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without branding, you will lack power shifts. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and CSS. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. Smoel is the industry leader of backward-compatible, C2C2B seamless power shifts. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XHTML. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? The capacity to syndicate robustly leads to the power to orchestrate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge, customized feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Think synergistic, C2C2B. Think client-focused. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to grow "robustly"? We here at Smoel have proven we know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to iterate macro-ultra-globally. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "scalable" really mean? The re-sizing factor is user-defined. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be co-branded? We will seize the capacity of e-businesses to brand. The power to enable magnetically leads to the power to monetize iteravely. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? The research and development factor is six-sigma. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. We realize that it is better to visualize holistically than to iterate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? We here at Smoel realize that it is better to aggregate mega-nano-magnetically than to brand efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical convergence and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem estranging, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to evolve defiantly. What does the term "TQM" really mean? What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and C++. We will expand our power to productize without reducing our capability to monetize.