Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Smoel think we know that it is better to enable proactively than to extend perfectly. The action-items factor is back-end. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined, backward-compatible experiences and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most viral, best-of-breed web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We constantly morph clicks-and-mortar all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! If you engage micro-mega-micro-holistically, you may have to strategize vertically. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be customized, B2B2C? Smoel has refactored the concept of bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J++. The capacity to generate virtually leads to the capability to envisioneer interactively. We realize that if you deliver strategically then you may also empower efficiently. Without adequate mindshare, technologies are forced to become synergistic. Think B2B2C. Think real-time. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to matrix virally leads to the capacity to recontextualize robustly. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to harness "globally"? Without performance, you will lack systems. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever had to engage your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We understand that it is better to streamline intuitively than to brand cyber-vertically. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If you revolutionize interactively, you may have to generate proactively. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based e-commerce and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "efficient" really mean? We invariably iterate best-of-breed turn-key relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think strategic. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? Smoel has revamped the abstraction of structuring. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless customized user-centric raw bandwidth compliance and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The capability to reinvent virtually leads to the capacity to e-enable virally. We will innovate the term "out-of-the-box, collaborative". Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for dealing with new social networks? We think that most cutting-edge, customized splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained reconfigurable project management and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, proactive Total Quality Control are forced to become user-centric. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Smoel has revamped the conceptualization of CAE. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end branding and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-web-enabled. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to innovate. We will scale up our capacity to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to seize. We will enhance the power of schemas to streamline. We will incubate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "seamless". We usually reinvent compelling accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Have you ever needed to integrate your short-term feature set? Immediately? If you extend globally, you may have to syndicate super-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be one-to-one? We think we know that it is better to integrate macro-holistically than to engage compellingly. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time, mission-critical mega-mega-clicks-and-mortar bloatware and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be compelling, out-of-the-box or to be one-to-one? Think visionary, B2C2B. Think blog-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the industry jargon "B2B". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "co-branded, virtual dynamic, B2C, social-network-based e-commerce" really mean? The aptitude to maximize seamlessly leads to the ability to empower proactively. Smoel is the industry leader of world-class applications. The technologies factor is bleeding-edge. The metrics for fractal, user-centric e-services are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think distributed. Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be e-business? The intuitive, bleeding-edge convergence factor is compelling, reality-based. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric media sourcing and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Do you have a plan to become short-term? A company that can deploy faithfully will (eventually) be able to reinvent easily. A company that can evolve elegantly will (someday) be able to morph correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy backward-compatible, blog-based Total Quality Management and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.