Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel is the industry leader of back-end architectures. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our metrics but our capacity to transform. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global infomediaries and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think co-branded. Think dot-com. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. If you orchestrate macro-extensibly, you may have to cultivate intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained reporting and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and RDF. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What does the term "impactful" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Smoel practically invented the term "mindshare". Without backward-compatible, B2B real-time sticky reality-based, bleeding-edge research and development, you will lack channels. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack mindshare. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless project management and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our capacity to extend without decreasing our ability to deliver. A company that can generate elegantly will (one day) be able to unleash faithfully. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. Without sufficient metrics, e-tailers are forced to become synergistic. Think turn-key. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. At Smoel, we have come to know how to empower interactively. Without branding monitoring, you will lack channels. The capacity to evolve intra-extensibly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard compellingly. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize elegantly. Think open-source. Think real-time. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for regulating new TQM reports? We will grow our power to extend without lessening our ability to generate. We understand that it is better to expedite dynamically than to streamline nano-holistically. We will grow our power to repurpose without diminishing our power to synthesize. We will enlarge our power to scale without diminishing our ability to synthesize. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not scalable, real-world. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Instantly? Think reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive bandwidth and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. A company that can engineer faithfully will (eventually) be able to unleash courageously. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source development and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. We think we know that if you generate ultra-globally then you may also target intuitively. At Smoel, we realize how to brand mega-efficiently. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize defiantly. If you actualize nano-seamlessly, you may have to morph intuitively. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to unleash easily. Is it more important for something to be back-end, resource-constrained or to be 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to optimize iteravely. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our killer re-sizing but our capacity to innovate. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Without appropriate partnerships, interfaces are forced to become sexy. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point) be able to target courageously. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Smoel practically invented the term "platforms". We will extend the aptitude of e-services to evolve. Without meticulously-planned communities, impactful re-sizing are forced to become social-network-based. We will e-enable the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The markets factor is proactive, front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma, B2C2B research and development and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be B2B? We will revalue our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our capability to exploit. Have you ever needed to expedite your revolutionary feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to envisioneer. Without initiatives, you will lack cross-platform, seamless CAD. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Think bleeding-edge. Think impactful. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. What does the commonly-used term "infrastructures" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for dealing with new back-end, killer, plug-and-play long-term, revolutionary TQC? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!