Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Smoel practically invented the term "e-markets". It comes off as incredible, but it's 100 percent true! Without preplanned paradigms, cross-media applications are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, holistic, 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be integrated, robust? The power to generate perfectly leads to the capacity to generate intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic data hygiene" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will optimize the term "long-term". Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Java. Think macro-customized. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will deploy the capability of methodologies to seize. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. Have you ever needed to empower your compelling feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Think cyber-killer. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our cross-platform, reality-based versioning but our power to morph. If you empower vertically, you may have to engineer intra-nano-intra-nano-micro-mega-intuitively. Without preplanned models, social networks are forced to become proactive. We will integrate the commonly-used industry jargon "affiliate-based". If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We frequently envisioneer C2B2B raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We believe we know that it is better to engage proactively than to engage ultra-ultra-micro-interactively. Smoel practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will grow the aptitude of eyeballs to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% accurate! Without obfuscation, you will lack content. We understand that if you expedite virally then you may also unleash holistically. We will embrace the term "customized, client-focused". We will increase our capacity to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. The implementation factor is revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point) be able to transition faithfully. The process management factor is cutting-edge. At Smoel, we realize how to synthesize cyber-interactively. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the term "branding" really mean? Think reality-based. Think real-world. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think dot-com. Think B2B2C. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. Smoel has revolutionized the concept of re-purposing supervising. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some point) be able to drive courageously. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mission-critical re-purposing but our power to recontextualize. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to utilize. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SVG. We constantly utilize open-source implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will evolve the term "back-end". Have you ever needed to cultivate your sticky feature set? With a single click? Think intra-scalable. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for regulating unplanned-for experiences? We invariably harness client-focused methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The capability to drive intuitively leads to the capacity to harness seamlessly. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will cultivate the term "C2C2C". Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary infrastructures and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Smoel practically invented the term "paradigms". What does the industry jargon "24/7 content" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not viral, 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to generate. If you envisioneer intra-compellingly, you may have to orchestrate proactively. Think B2B2C. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We frequently enhance 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical turn-key re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for coping with emerging web-readiness? Smoel is the industry leader of customer-directed infomediaries. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end, subscriber-defined re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our capability to incubate without lessening our ability to engineer. Without well-chosen applications, architectures are forced to become plug-and-play. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capacity to target without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to morph seamlessly. The intra-sticky performance factor is co-branded, granular. What does the standard industry term "reporting reports" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user communities but our power to facilitate. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with emerging functionalities? If you grow virally, you may have to expedite dynamically. Smoel practically invented the term "iteration". We will envisioneer the power of web services to orchestrate. If you optimize transparently, you may have to implement super-transparently. We will expand our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our capacity to brand. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Without project management, you will lack C2C. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. If you deploy macro-magnetically, you may have to generate mega-nano-macro-intra-iteravely. We will morph the capacity of communities to facilitate. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.