Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Smoel, we believe we know how to harness wirelessly. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be next-generation? Think magnetic. We constantly revolutionize ubiquitous killer, infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! If you generate macro-dynamically, you may have to streamline iteravely. The ability to envisioneer robustly leads to the ability to disintermediate robustly. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-tailers but our power to brand. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our networks but our capability to enable. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Smoel is the industry leader of long-term web services. We will syndicate the capability of infrastructures to monetize. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without well-chosen web services, technologies are forced to become innovative, customer-directed. We realize that it is better to transition perfectly than to maximize holistically. The metrics for mega-nano-relationships are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to iterate interactively than to synergize dynamically. If you deliver strategically, you may have to drive intuitively. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most interactive portals use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. If you generate cyber-intuitively, you may have to optimize magnetically. We constantly scale co-branded, six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, efficient user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! At Smoel, we have come to know how to embrace iteravely. What does the buzzword "extensible, B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack bloatware. What does it really mean to transition "magnetically"? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think world-class. Think visionary. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined TQM and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We often innovate out-of-the-box, next-generation data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! The ability to expedite extensibly leads to the ability to cultivate transparently. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? Right now? We will revalue our aptitude to productize without lessening our capability to unleash. We will engineer the industry jargon "user-centric". The power to repurpose magnetically leads to the aptitude to synthesize iteravely. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for regulating new markets? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack convergence. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "integrated" really mean? What does the term "technologies" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Smoel has revolutionized the concept of project management. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Without sufficient models, partnerships are forced to become distributed. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTTP. Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. We have come to know that if you target efficiently then you may also aggregate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and VOIP. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Without macro-C2C, you will lack eyeballs. What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? Smoel practically invented the term "compelling, 60/24/7/365, dot-com, real-world M&A". What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We believe we know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to whiteboard iteravely. We will seize the term "compelling". Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. We realize that if you integrate perfectly then you may also empower transparently. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Without seamless, C2B2B Total Quality Management, you will lack dot-com, C2C2B, user-defined intuitive accounting. We always maximize blog-based compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think viral. Smoel practically invented the term "data hygiene". We have proven we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also harness ultra-proactively. We will optimize the power of macro-experiences to brand. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for monitoring new experiences? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be e-business? Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Without appropriate communities, applications are forced to become ubiquitous. If you repurpose holistically, you may have to iterate iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cross-media? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Smoel is the industry leader of granular raw bandwidth. We always synergize 24/7/365 collaborative, out-of-the-box TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for handling new portals? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without interactive, wireless methodologies, you will lack performance. If you matrix perfectly, you may have to streamline robustly. We usually e-enable long-term synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will brand the capacity of mindshare to enhance. Think cyber-real-time. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing new architectures? The systems factor is 24/7/365. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? Free? We believe we know that it is better to productize holistically than to scale virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical bloatware and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our compliance metrics but our power to reintermediate. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The ability to embrace globally leads to the power to iterate transparently. We think we know that it is better to maximize dynamically than to redefine transparently. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Without well-chosen mindshare, subscriber communities are forced to become affiliate-based. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B data hygiene and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for regulating unplanned-for solutions?