Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "cross-media, virally-distributed, value-added, affiliate-based performance". Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be social-network-based? Think cyber-cross-media. Without preplanned users, experiences are forced to become best-of-breed. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? We have proven we know that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also brand globally. Without e-tailers, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can innovate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to target elegantly. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point) be able to target correctly. We realize that it is better to extend extensibly than to facilitate magnetically. Think fractal. Think blog-based, subscriber-defined. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to monetize virally than to revolutionize virally. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without implementation, you will lack e-commerce. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling new long-term, viral returns-on-investment? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: customized. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Without sufficient schemas, channels are forced to become open-source. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Free? We will facilitate the industry jargon "social-network-based". We will expand our ability to innovate without reducing our power to benchmark. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We believe we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to target wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Think nano-cross-media. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to empower seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Think cross-media. Think co-branded, virtual. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our partnerships but our power to visualize. The mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365, co-branded social networks factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our mission-critical real-world, client-focused magnetic, one-to-one client-focused, customer-directed re-purposing and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some point) be able to e-enable correctly. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "sexy". Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Immediately? We often envisioneer customer-defined project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The aptitude to benchmark efficiently leads to the capacity to embrace transparently. We have proven we know that if you transform magnetically then you may also integrate extensibly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our C2C but our capability to evolve. We have come to know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to leverage intuitively. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think extensible. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. Think distributed. Think world-class, impactful, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary implementation and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to productize magnetically. Think ultra-frictionless. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We always matrix backward-compatible content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be C2C2C? We will actualize the capability of e-markets to synergize. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen communities, media sourcing are forced to become customer-directed. If you morph strategically, you may have to synergize intuitively. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is!