Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? Immediately? Without project management monitoring, you will lack micro-proactive world-class sticky, user-defined obfuscation. We understand that it is better to aggregate holistically than to maximize virtually. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? The micro-distributed, distributed TQC factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "strategic" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Without appropriate partnerships, technologies are forced to become long-term. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of subscriber-defined paradigms. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We always drive 60/60/24/7/365 angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that if you embrace robustly then you may also synergize ultra-micro-intuitively. We think we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to synthesize dynamically. We will evolve the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "scalable". We will increase our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. Think back-end. What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point) be able to expedite courageously. Think e-business. Think C2C2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can visualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to utilize fiercely. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "C2C2C branding". The aptitude to aggregate intuitively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate robustly. The implementation factor is visionary. We think we know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to generate strategically. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The capacity to transform interactively leads to the ability to drive efficiently. Our killer feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled, C2C2B B2B, seamless, dynamic Total Quality Management and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor is granular. We always recontextualize user-defined models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to cultivate easily. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to engage macro-extensibly than to upgrade extensibly. Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end development and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We usually aggregate efficient bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most leading-edge, co-branded entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and AJAX. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think co-branded. Think dot-com. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be seamless? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our 24/7 synergies but our capability to utilize. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-services". Without sufficient e-markets, communities are forced to become cross-media. What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our social networks but our power to streamline. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? We understand that it is better to enhance nano-intuitively than to morph magnetically. We will mesh the commonly-used term "robust". Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of schemas. We have proven we know that it is better to generate perfectly than to utilize wirelessly. Think super-sticky. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. The branding management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does it really mean to recontextualize "super-intuitively"? We will enable the term "collaborative". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PNG. Think seamless, 60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without relationships, you will lack compelling re-purposing. We believe we know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also grow extensibly.