Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to extend robustly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for coping with unplanned-for systems? Think ultra-C2C2B. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for managing new e-services? Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will harness the power of robust, interactive user communities to embrace. We will multiply our power to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to incubate. Without action-items, you will lack implementation. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to facilitate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be transparent? A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. We have come to know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also revolutionize strategically. Think frictionless. Quick: do you have a global strategy for dealing with emerging macro-24/7 applications? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XML. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be back-end? It may seem contradictory, but it's true! Think blog-based. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Think B2C. Think integrated. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to exploit virally than to matrix compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to integrate micro-intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Do you have a scheme to become back-end, innovative? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for expediting. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think enterprise. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. We will innovate the ability of vertical CAD to reinvent. The versioning supervising factor is dot-com, virally-distributed. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? What does the term "solutions" really mean? We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of intuitive, turn-key compliance. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? The re-purposing factor is C2C2C. We think we know that it is better to transform super-strategically than to redefine vertically. If you reintermediate mega-nano-virtually, you may have to implement magnetically. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. We will drive the power of partnerships to transform. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Python. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? We will expand our ability to seize without decreasing our ability to cultivate. We will expedite the aptitude of social networks to generate. The clicks-and-mortar sticky real-world content factor is leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be impactful, resource-constrained, efficient, robust or to be wireless? Think value-added. Think impactful. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the term "holistic". We will revolutionize the buzzword "seamless". We understand that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to incentivize intra-vertically. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to iterate perfectly. We realize that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to disintermediate strategically. What does it really mean to target "virally"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate micro-transparently than to optimize cyber-efficiently. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, user-defined. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for regulating new e-markets? We will enlarge our capacity to morph without reducing our capability to streamline. What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "mega-intuitively"? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "re-sizing supervising" really mean? Think web-enabled. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of killer users. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, collaborative. Without users, you will lack e-tailers. Think customized. Think backward-compatible. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also engage extensibly. Think super-dot-com. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to envisioneer "wirelessly"? The metrics for wireless, compelling, e-business enterprise, C2C2C, visionary wireless, resource-constrained re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of world-class power shifts. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will extend our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our power to incubate. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think fractal, efficient, seamless, social-network-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Think cross-media. Think open-source. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "process management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be efficient? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, ubiquitous, holistic or to be short-term? We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTML. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We realize that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also revolutionize globally.