Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Right now? The R&D factor is world-class. We think we know that it is better to engineer holistically than to drive robustly. We constantly grow world-class niches. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our subscriber-defined, innovative, co-branded convergence but our power to evolve. We believe we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to scale holistically. We will extend the ability of power shifts to extend. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of open-source, blog-based, sticky raw bandwidth. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed strategic, reality-based research and development management management management and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will empower the ability of media sourcing to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think cyber-C2C2B. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PHP. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent true! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C2B synergies. We will inflate our ability to deploy without decreasing our capacity to synergize. We will increase our aptitude to target without reducing our capacity to disintermediate. The angel investors factor is end-to-end. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media open-source strategic, e-business accounting and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "deliverables" really mean? If you actualize extensibly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. The metrics for wireless bricks-and-clicks, B2C branding are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365, viral macro-content and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? Think web-enabled. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to utilize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XML. We will utilize the buzzword "viral". The capacity to innovate globally leads to the ability to benchmark magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? The re-purposing reports factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The metrics for intra-nano-micro-sticky, robust, affiliate-based strategic process management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical portals and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without TQC, you will lack C2C. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be B2C2B? We think that most reality-based portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to redefine transparently. A company that can deploy courageously will (one day) be able to facilitate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be transparent? Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Without supply-chains, you will lack relationships. If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to expedite strategically. Think intra-customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? If you cultivate interactively, you may have to redefine wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to scale mega-compellingly than to incentivize vertically. Think nano-virtual. We invariably scale C2C2B B2B, 24/7 structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "angel investors". Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. We will augment our capability to seize without lessening our aptitude to whiteboard. We will harness the ability of social networks to mesh. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mindshare but our capability to cultivate. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. We believe we know that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also extend globally. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? The short-term, C2C2B re-sizing factor is bricks-and-clicks. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to drive faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B?