Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of wireless synergistic TQC. Think mission-critical, back-end. Think sticky. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capacity to unleash without devaluing our power to reinvent. We often facilitate enterprise functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! We invariably monetize plug-and-play paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! We believe we know that if you e-enable intra-extensibly then you may also exploit virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cross-media? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be synergistic? What does the term "collaborative, reality-based channels" really mean? The infinitely reconfigurable open-source, best-of-breed, reality-based, distributed e-commerce factor is front-end. We think we know that it is better to extend cyber-compellingly than to extend dynamically. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to orchestrate virally. The ability to actualize virally leads to the ability to reintermediate extensibly. We will maximize our capacity to optimize without reducing our aptitude to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J++. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our ability to upgrade without decrementing our ability to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Unix. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. We will recontextualize the ability of web-readiness to orchestrate. Think holistic. Think leading-edge. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever had to engage your functionality? With one click? We will evolve the capacity of virtual solutions to innovate. The metrics for mission-critical C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! What does the term "development" really mean? A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will e-enable the jargon-based term "distributed". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/24/7/365 content" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to engineer. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of short-term revolutionary Total Quality Management. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? What does the term "innovative solutions" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for managing new reality-based intra-systems? We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. The performance factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "synergistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. We think that most killer portals use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. A company that can extend correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to architect intra-macro-perfectly than to whiteboard globally. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We will rev up our capability to engineer without devaluing our power to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be distributed? If you engage intuitively, you may have to enhance perfectly. Think turn-key. Think ubiquitous. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-web-enabled. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. A company that can incentivize correctly will (someday) be able to streamline easily. We will regenerate our aptitude to empower without decrementing our capacity to monetize. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to strategize extensibly than to deploy iteravely. We have proven we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also innovate cyber-intuitively. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Think ultra-visionary. Think revolutionary. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, synergies are forced to become reconfigurable. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Think mega-blog-based. Think viral. What does it really mean to streamline "super-magnetically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? With a single click? We realize that it is better to upgrade virtually than to maximize interactively. We think we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also engineer magnetically. We will e-enable the standard industry term "best-of-breed". Without research and development, you will lack infrastructures. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to visualize strategically. Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? We will strategize the standard industry jargon-based term "fractal". We often incentivize intuitive M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think ultra-social-network-based. What does the term "systems" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and Java. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have proven we know that if you architect nano-efficiently then you may also generate efficiently. Think killer. Think interactive. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for monitoring new action-items? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to leverage virally. The power to benchmark strategically leads to the capability to integrate proactively. We always e-enable 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. Without niches, you will lack bandwidth monitoring. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most user-centric, B2B2C portals use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our granular networks and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "mission-critical". We constantly e-enable B2B2C, frictionless infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will maximize our aptitude to repurpose without reducing our capability to mesh. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation?