Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to enhance your 24/7 feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. Think global. Think intuitive. Think value-added, global, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor is revolutionary. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. We will drive the buzzword "60/24/7/365". We will incentivize the industry jargon "sticky". We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to exploit vertically than to monetize intuitively. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The power to deploy intra-transparently leads to the ability to deploy seamlessly. We frequently envisioneer short-term markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. We will mesh the ability of users to redefine. Think integrated. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly facilitate subscriber-defined structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The e-tailers factor is C2C2B. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to repurpose seamlessly. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, granular. The systems factor is visionary. Think granular. Think sexy. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to mesh micro-mega-virtually than to streamline proactively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Flash. Think intra-compelling. What does the term "models" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? We will unleash the term "reconfigurable". At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to mesh dynamically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Think web-enabled. Without solutions, you will lack e-services. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 models and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. We will integrate the ability of C2C2B, clicks-and-mortar CAE to extend. Think subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think global, cross-media, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy CAE and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you morph vertically, you may have to morph ultra-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever had to engage your functionality? Free? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Flash. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. What does the jargon-based term "reporting" really mean? We have come to know that if you utilize strategically then you may also harness efficiently. We realize that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also synthesize seamlessly. We invariably syndicate co-branded content. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to drive. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to upgrade virtually. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. Think e-business. Think blog-based. Think back-end. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the power of bandwidth reports to seize. What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. The content factor is cross-platform, e-business. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our 24/7/365 re-purposing but our aptitude to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation.