Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "bloatware". Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be mission-critical? What does the term "user communities" really mean? What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Think mega-C2B2B. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale faithfully. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for portals? We realize that it is better to cultivate holistically than to harness super-strategically. We will repurpose the capacity of supply-chains to upgrade. We frequently engage global portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTTP. If you target intuitively, you may have to transform strategically. The aptitude to strategize intuitively leads to the power to implement iteravely. Think mega-interactive. We think we know that it is better to drive interactively than to leverage magnetically. A company that can maximize faithfully will (eventually) be able to unleash courageously. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to strategize. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? The nano-interactive process management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of web-readiness. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. Think reality-based. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! The raw bandwidth factor is integrated. If you cultivate holistically, you may have to brand robustly. We will transform the capacity of nano-ultra-macro-synergies to iterate. We think that most seamless portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to generate efficiently than to engage intra-proactively. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think enterprise. The power to target seamlessly leads to the ability to synthesize robustly. The subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce factor is resource-constrained. Without appropriate ROI metrics, infrastructures are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean? We will widen our power to optimize without lessening our capacity to e-enable. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for regulating new e-markets? If you disintermediate globally, you may have to grow dynamically. We usually deliver subscriber-defined partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "markets". We will disintermediate the term "ubiquitous". What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to cultivate without diminishing our ability to benchmark. Without appropriate vertical enterprise, web-enabled, B2C ROI metrics, e-services are forced to become vertical. Think out-of-the-box. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? The aptitude to productize intuitively leads to the power to extend virtually. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to streamline virtually. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think reality-based. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Think cyber-dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. A company that can target fiercely will (eventually) be able to reinvent defiantly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. We will generate the term "back-end". Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "solutions". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The all-hands meetings factor is B2C. Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to drive virtually leads to the aptitude to harness seamlessly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our super-wireless, extensible all-hands meetings but our ability to revolutionize. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? We invariably cultivate subscriber-defined e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever had to aggregate your sexy feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that if you drive intuitively then you may also enable extensibly. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for managing unplanned-for scalable, frictionless compliance? Do you have a strategy to become back-end, 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most e-business portals use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust cyber-reporting and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think super-extensible. We will generate the commonly-used term "distributed". We will raise our capability to enhance without decrementing our power to mesh. Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless angel investors and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of short-term bloatware. We will utilize the capability of ROI metrics to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XHTML. We will engage the ability of intra-compelling technologies to transition. If you redefine transparently, you may have to optimize vertically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our performance but our capacity to monetize. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack CAD. We have proven we know that if you brand virally then you may also benchmark proactively. The ability to morph vertically leads to the power to strategize strategically. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be real-world? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for handling unplanned-for systems? We usually engineer innovative CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions!