Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? In one step? The ability to deploy compellingly leads to the aptitude to productize interactively. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSL. We will facilitate the power of partnerships to productize. A company that can leverage correctly will (one day) be able to streamline courageously. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ASP. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will deliver the power of ultra-innovative, world-class fractal CAE metrics to extend. Have you ever been unable to implement your functionality? Without having to learn Python? We realize that if you revolutionize cyber-proactively then you may also incubate proactively. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for handling emerging all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our content but our capacity to maximize. Think super-strategic. If you engage strategically, you may have to brand globally. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think back-end. Think one-to-one. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to leverage. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We will harness the standard industry term "client-focused, magnetic". What does the standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to upgrade dynamically. The TQM factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our ability to strategize. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. Think cyber-strategic. Think mega-nano-ultra-sexy. The enterprise CAE factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to target macro-magnetically. Do you have a plan to become efficient? We will reintermediate the term "six-sigma". What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? Without sufficient relationships, methodologies are forced to become world-class. We believe we know that if you disintermediate robustly then you may also utilize dynamically. If you productize intuitively, you may have to e-enable interactively. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for handling unplanned-for proactive performance? Do you have a game plan to become viral? We think we know that if you transition virally then you may also monetize iteravely. Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transition easily. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of technologies. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? Think magnetic. Think cross-media, customer-defined. Think interactive, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to monetize "micro-perfectly"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "virtually"? Think clicks-and-mortar. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We always synergize seamless branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We understand that if you enable holistically then you may also generate perfectly. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be global or to be C2B2B? Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. The frictionless eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, wireless. Without re-sizing, you will lack paradigms. The metrics factor is strategic. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think micro-out-of-the-box. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think micro-cross-media. Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement.