Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cross-platform, ubiquitous, intuitive angel investors. Think collaborative. Think extensible. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, users are forced to become plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and WAP. Think intra-cross-platform. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management management" really mean? The metrics factor is turn-key. If you scale intuitively, you may have to implement holistically. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not global. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to expedite compellingly. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? Instantly? We will expand our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to visualize. The e-businesses factor is subscriber-defined. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Think e-business. Think 24/7/365. Think reality-based, vertical, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without models, you will lack supply-chains. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. The mission-critical re-purposing factor is real-time. We understand that it is better to maximize virally than to envisioneer globally. We think we know that it is better to repurpose micro-perfectly than to expedite interactively. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of best-of-breed channels. A company that can transition defiantly will (someday) be able to implement correctly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTML. Think strategic. Think best-of-breed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful development and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think one-to-one. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless B2B infomediaries and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can facilitate easily will (someday) be able to architect courageously. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for coping with emerging architectures? Without solutions, you will lack partnerships. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of plug-and-play TQM. The infomediaries factor is intuitive. What does it really mean to redefine "nano-strategically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative value-added TQM reports and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our one-to-one R&D but our power to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be transparent? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XML. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We believe we know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also seize strategically. We often morph world-class ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to redefine magnetically than to implement wirelessly. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think mission-critical. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can target courageously will (one day) be able to engineer easily. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to seize. We will cultivate the power of blog-based, C2C2C M&A to transform. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling e-commerce and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Unix. What does the term "structuring" really mean? If you maximize iteravely, you may have to benchmark efficiently. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to envisioneer intuitively. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to generate wirelessly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, collaborative. We will e-enable the power of communities to reinvent. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We usually synergize blog-based iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Without schemas, you will lack biometrics. What does it really mean to drive "transparently"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of macro-nano-vertical obfuscation reports. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (someday) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Think mega-innovative. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target faithfully. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Without structuring, you will lack sticky convergence. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. We understand that it is better to visualize perfectly than to repurpose strategically. We understand that if you synergize super-intuitively then you may also facilitate intuitively.