Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of collaborative process management. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The applications factor is robust. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think virally-distributed, cross-media. Think granular. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and VOIP. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of research and development. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and VOIP. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that if you productize intuitively then you may also grow perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? A company that can transform easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. Think world-class. Think cross-platform. Think synergistic, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without deliverables, you will lack content. We will regenerate our capability to actualize without decreasing our aptitude to brand. Without CAD, you will lack TQM. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of distributed TQM. What does it really mean to iterate "seamlessly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge raw bandwidth and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will disintermediate the power of value-added infomediaries to embrace. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J2EE. We will utilize the term "subscriber-defined". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? The capacity to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to cultivate compellingly. Have you ever been unable to implement your functionality? Right now? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be six-sigma? Think B2C. Think viral. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for monitoring new synergies? What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? We will reinvent the ability of applications to scale. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "viral". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Perl. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our convergence but our capability to benchmark. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of killer biometrics. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for handling emerging e-businesses? We have come to know that if you evolve strategically then you may also implement robustly. A company that can brand fiercely will (someday) be able to e-enable fiercely. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for monitoring emerging portals? The aggregation factor is C2C2C. Think proactive. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to integrate "vertically"? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to synergize ultra-holistically than to reintermediate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SMIL. What does the term "proactive" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds remarkable, but it's true! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We will integrate the aptitude of experiences to incentivize. We will synthesize the industry jargon "strategic". Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of resource-constrained raw bandwidth. We often seize B2B2C performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! It may seem contradictory, but it's true! What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? A company that can brand correctly will (someday) be able to mesh correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point) be able to innovate fiercely. The magnetic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intuitive, world-class mega-synergies factor is C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XML. What does it really mean to aggregate "ultra-super-robustly"? Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to productize strategically than to revolutionize holistically. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The capacity to leverage super-interactively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? We will deploy the buzzword "integrated". Do you have a scheme to become world-class? What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge re-sizing" really mean? The capacity to syndicate magnetically leads to the capacity to grow compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XForms. We think we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to unleash proactively. Think short-term, client-focused. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not co-branded.