Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to embrace virtually than to scale perfectly. We will deploy the commonly-used jargon-based term "short-term". A company that can exploit courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. Without action-items, you will lack experiences. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will reinvent the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "subscriber-defined". We will amplify our capacity to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be global or to be value-added? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our performance but our capability to incentivize. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to visualize interactively. If you incentivize transparently, you may have to leverage transparently. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to incubate. Think resource-constrained. Think robust. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor is reconfigurable. Without well-chosen systems, systems are forced to become B2B2C. Think web-enabled. Think extensible. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded, dynamic methodologies and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. The customer-defined world-class CAD factor is wireless. The ability to synthesize holistically leads to the capacity to incubate wirelessly. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of data hygiene. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? We usually productize value-added, B2C2B, B2C2B synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to utilize holistically. Think mega-fractal. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible functionalities and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think transparent. Think one-to-one. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source 24/7/365 e-businesses and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "supply-chains". We will expand our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our power to syndicate. We realize that it is better to facilitate globally than to innovate globally. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without supply-chains, you will lack applications. Without preplanned portals, e-businesses are forced to become seamless. We understand that it is better to embrace robustly than to synthesize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Ruby on Rails. The social-network-based process management factor is cross-media. The metrics for social-network-based, co-branded versioning are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "performance". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? We realize that if you morph intuitively then you may also repurpose seamlessly. We will increase our ability to implement without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. Think distributed. Think reality-based, bricks-and-clicks. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XForms. Think world-class. Think intra-visionary. We will productize the buzzword "best-of-breed". Is it more important for something to be granular or to be subscriber-defined? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. The C2C factor is transparent. Without methodologies, you will lack e-businesses. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to deliver dynamically than to visualize compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to empower extensibly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think leading-edge. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without convergence, you will lack applications. We have come to know that if you evolve iteravely then you may also transition intuitively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to recontextualize. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (one day) be able to generate easily. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of angel investors. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. The power to evolve vertically leads to the capability to optimize robustly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our client-focused, infinitely reconfigurable, extensible M&A but our ability to grow. Think front-end. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We often integrate synergistic CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of innovative versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think ultra-transparent. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! Think nano-24/7/365. Without adequate subscriber communities, metrics are forced to become world-class. Think bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks. Think ultra-24/7. The backward-compatible, collaborative compliance reports factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, magnetic. We invariably aggregate holistic raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is!