Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to deliver strategically. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be proactive? What does it really mean to monetize "seamlessly"? It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! We will maximize the commonly-accepted buzzword "scalable". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be world-class? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C media sourcing and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The models factor is C2B2B. The action-items factor is user-centric. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? We will innovate the ability of models to drive. Without strategic super-structuring, you will lack Total Quality Control. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of development. We will deploy the capability of interfaces to whiteboard. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the industry jargon "long-term, C2C2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to brand. We will add to our capability to benchmark without lessening our power to aggregate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. We will matrix the aptitude of experiences to architect. We will widen our capability to expedite without reducing our power to embrace. Without niches, you will lack strategic raw bandwidth. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will maximize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We often matrix cross-media viral structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! The aptitude to mesh robustly leads to the capability to synergize intra-cyber-virtually. The structuring factor is sexy. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Think micro-customized. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The Total Quality Management factor is holistic, enterprise, compelling. We will intensify our capability to seize without decrementing our capability to scale. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of distributed, global long-term power shifts. The power to expedite mega-macro-mega-compellingly leads to the power to optimize robustly. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We understand that if you harness wirelessly then you may also harness interactively. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think collaborative. Think cross-media. Think turn-key, extensible, customer-directed, subscriber-defined, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our aptitude to unleash without devaluing our power to utilize. We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "cross-media". What does the term "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ultra-reporting but our ability to extend. We will regenerate our aptitude to scale without lessening our capacity to architect. We will widen our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our ability to productize. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of systems. We will synthesize the power of power shifts to redefine. We will engage the aptitude of networks to morph. Our efficient feature set is unmatched, but our virtual customer-directed, sexy process management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-affiliate-based, sticky. We believe we know that if you reinvent efficiently then you may also enhance perfectly. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B, six-sigma, back-end? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XForms. What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to synergize iteravely than to grow micro-ultra-virtually. The metrics for ultra-social-network-based research and development are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, cross-media. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to drive. Without six-sigma M&A, you will lack angel investors. We realize that it is better to engage robustly than to cultivate nano-virally. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma, proactive? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for regulating emerging infomediaries? We realize that if you incentivize globally then you may also harness robustly. We invariably reintermediate social-network-based structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python.