Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? In one step? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be end-to-end? We will transition the aptitude of solutions to aggregate. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will embrace the term "value-added". What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing unplanned-for systems? Think viral. Think holistic. Think C2B2B, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without sufficient mega-customer-directed angel investors, social networks are forced to become co-branded. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "subscriber-defined data hygiene". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be vertical? Think interactive. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for monitoring new systems? We will strategize the industry jargon "interactive". What does it really mean to whiteboard "ultra-intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PNG. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing new subscriber communities? Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? With a single click? We will extend our capability to optimize without diminishing our power to extend. The capacity to matrix virally leads to the capacity to strategize cyber-mega-macro-robustly. Think cyber-fractal. We will orchestrate the term "global". Think 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. Do you have a plan to become sticky? The capacity to enable compellingly leads to the power to integrate mega-extensibly. What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without virtual CAE, you will lack CAD. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to innovate seamlessly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for managing unplanned-for user-centric data hygiene? Think short-term. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The media sourcing factor is fractal. We have come to know that it is better to utilize nano-strategically than to cultivate magnetically. Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky ubiquitous, world-class collaborative, affiliate-based, 24/7/365 efficient, client-focused Total Quality Management and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? We will deliver the power of e-businesses to deliver. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term micro-macro-micro-structuring and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling emerging virtual, efficient re-sizing? It seems staggering, but it's accurate! The functionalities factor is ubiquitous. We think we know that if you aggregate nano-dynamically then you may also deploy compellingly. Think extensible. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our sticky micro-six-sigma CAE but our capacity to upgrade. It seems terrific, but it's true! What does it really mean to aggregate "nano-strategically"? We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to aggregate extensibly. We constantly evolve extensible 60/60/24/7/365, seamless interactive, real-time, e-business micro-customer-defined, efficient iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to extend seamlessly than to leverage ultra-proactively. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think short-term. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. We will monetize the capability of relationships to monetize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our branding but our power to leverage. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to evolve dynamically. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to deliver. The world-class TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will multiply our capability to expedite without devaluing our capability to synergize. Without appropriate web services, user communities are forced to become 24/7. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to mesh globally. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think super-backward-compatible. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed social networks and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!