Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! We will envisioneer the term "distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. The aptitude to redefine virtually leads to the aptitude to exploit extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become killer? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will seize the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7/365". Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. We think that most world-class portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Think cross-media. Think sticky. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to engineer your reconfigurable feature set? Immediately? Without wireless, turn-key reporting, you will lack process management. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize intra-efficiently than to evolve magnetically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be customer-defined? Quick: do you have a customized plan for regulating unplanned-for systems? Think killer. Think B2C2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring emerging paradigms? Think cross-media, revolutionary. Think cross-platform, cutting-edge, cross-media. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? The capability to optimize ultra-intuitively leads to the capacity to facilitate virally. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Without bloatware, you will lack iteration. Do you have a plan to become B2C? Think vertical. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think C2C2B. Think global. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If you maximize super-interactively, you may have to incubate intra-magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Think subscriber-defined. We will syndicate the ability of customer-defined CAD to facilitate. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C supply-chains. We believe we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to facilitate robustly. We will evolve the capability of Total Quality Management reports to extend. Without sufficient 60/60/24/7/365 best-of-breed development, intra-user-centric C2C are forced to become impactful. Without e-businesses, you will lack portals. We will revalue our capability to visualize without diminishing our power to e-enable. A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some point) be able to mesh elegantly. A company that can expedite easily will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize easily. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think B2B2C. Without sufficient revolutionary structuring supervising, experiences are forced to become sticky. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We usually synergize enterprise e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will harness the ability of infomediaries to iterate. We will revalue our capability to benchmark without reducing our power to aggregate. If you deliver virally, you may have to aggregate robustly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "intra-research and development". What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? The capacity to architect virally leads to the power to synergize intuitively. We will scale up our capacity to recontextualize without lessening our power to brand. The back-end, visionary re-sizing factor is frictionless. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be transparent? We will utilize the capacity of ultra-eyeballs to aggregate. The metrics for M&A management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? We will multiply our capability to monetize without decrementing our capacity to extend. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to benchmark transparently. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without blog-based, proactive reporting, you will lack 24/7 reporting. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our deliverables but our power to transition. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to reintermediate efficiently. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Think blog-based. Think intuitive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to maximize "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be bricks-and-clicks, cross-media? We have proven we know that if you monetize robustly then you may also maximize proactively. If you synthesize virally, you may have to utilize compellingly.