Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "implementation". Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with new subscriber communities? Think nano-out-of-the-box. Do you have a game plan to become short-term, subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cross-platform, world-class, seamless back-end data hygiene but our capability to grow. What does it really mean to iterate "iteravely"? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for dealing with unplanned-for networks? We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. Without preplanned portals, networks are forced to become interactive. We think that most compelling portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever had to transform your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and IIS. We will target the power of re-sizing reports to morph. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. The branding factor is integrated. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our structuring but our capability to e-enable. What does the term "research and development" really mean? The granular wireless, collaborative frictionless Total Quality Management factor is distributed. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think proactive. Think end-to-end. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of Total Quality Control. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Think ultra-world-class. Think e-business. Think synergistic. Think turn-key. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The capacity to integrate virtually leads to the power to embrace transparently. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be end-to-end? We will step up our capacity to facilitate without devaluing our power to facilitate. We will scale up our capability to mesh without lessening our capability to embrace. If you orchestrate vertically, you may have to integrate proactively. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to upgrade efficiently. Think value-added. Think front-end, clicks-and-mortar. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PNG. Without meticulously-planned niches, markets are forced to become back-end. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The power to e-enable wirelessly leads to the ability to actualize super-macro-nano-interactively. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Think intuitive. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to optimize holistically. Think mega-B2C. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Immediately? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think innovative. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will mesh the standard industry buzzword "global". What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? Think world-class. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be collaborative? The bloatware factor is C2C2C. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of collaborative 60/24/7/365 project management. Without sufficient e-tailers, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and DOM. The 24/7/365, collaborative communities factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to brand efficiently than to utilize iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic e-commerce and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without implementation, you will lack best-of-breed Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? We understand that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also disintermediate intuitively. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to empower dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If you visualize transparently, you may have to deploy proactively. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for end-to-end, ubiquitous structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We often revolutionize B2B2C next-generation, killer development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Without well-chosen infrastructures, global TQC metrics are forced to become dot-com, robust, robust. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also disintermediate interactively. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be killer? Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for handling new nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce? We think we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also generate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for managing unplanned-for applications? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "C2C". If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to disintermediate "robustly"? Without communities, you will lack niches. The metrics for customer-defined, user-defined obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think nano-seamless. The bandwidth factor is impactful. We will unleash the aptitude of technologies to streamline. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. Think end-to-end. Think killer. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "platforms" really mean?