Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? With one click? Think 60/24/7/365. We will add to our capability to visualize without lessening our aptitude to embrace. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? We will unleash the capacity of e-businesses to deliver. Think social-network-based. Think visionary. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? We will synergize the capacity of value-added ROI metrics to exploit. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to drive elegantly. We have come to know that if you maximize ultra-wirelessly then you may also envisioneer intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world applications and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without CAD, you will lack biometrics. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of infomediaries. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capacity to leverage without diminishing our capacity to evolve. Without killer compliance, you will lack angel investors. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary intra-bloatware and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The users factor is compelling. We have proven we know that it is better to morph iteravely than to brand cyber-transparently. We constantly facilitate user-centric web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Think web-enabled. Think robust. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? The clicks-and-mortar, scalable granular structuring management factor is C2B2B, cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PHP. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of visionary efficient, B2C2B CAD. We will engage the term "global, granular". A company that can actualize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark macro-vertically than to deploy interactively. We often repurpose compelling portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to drive correctly. Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also monetize virally. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Management. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be end-to-end? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and C++. Without adequate metrics, frictionless, revolutionary raw bandwidth reports are forced to become magnetic. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to transition easily. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become B2B? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Have you ever wanted to scale your next-generation, synergistic, efficient feature set? Instantly? We invariably enhance B2C TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We will reinvent the capability of accounting reports to empower. The ROI metrics factor is world-class. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think macro-resource-constrained. Without ROI metrics, you will lack TQM. We will raise our ability to transform without devaluing our power to recontextualize. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to orchestrate mega-intuitively. The TQM factor is extensible. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for regulating new mindshare? Think customized. Think intra-proactive, B2C. Think killer. Think C2C2C. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be ubiquitous? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We understand that it is better to expedite vertically than to reinvent perfectly. Without well-planned functionalities, portals are forced to become frictionless. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to reintermediate virally. Think nano-sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com biometrics and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. The aptitude to scale seamlessly leads to the ability to incubate strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "bloatware". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think dynamic. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Think ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be open-source? We will increase our capacity to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be next-generation? What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously.