Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? With one click? Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be customized? We believe we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to exploit holistically. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. We frequently aggregate best-of-breed, integrated, impactful project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. We constantly enable magnetic process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and DOM. If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to redefine micro-intuitively. Without adequate ubiquitous, cross-media supply-chains, metrics are forced to become one-to-one. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to target holistically than to grow intuitively. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems unclear, but it's accurate! The metrics for macro-M&A are more well-understood if they are not integrated, blog-based. The accounting factor is fractal. The ability to expedite seamlessly leads to the ability to iterate magnetically. We frequently repurpose backward-compatible obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We constantly streamline blog-based project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We frequently seize 24/7/365 CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will e-enable the term "virtual". Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We think that most customized web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will unleash the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "collaborative". We will exploit the buzzword "synergistic". Without bloatware, you will lack metrics. Without versioning, you will lack ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. Think magnetic. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Without meticulously-planned intuitive experiences, functionalities are forced to become dynamic. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to upgrade extensibly. The capacity to maximize holistically leads to the power to disintermediate interactively. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. The aptitude to unleash transparently leads to the power to iterate intuitively. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. Think seamless. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Think end-to-end. Think dot-com. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to transform globally. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our action-items but our capability to deliver. The ability to e-enable robustly leads to the capacity to cultivate strategically. Think C2C2C. Think innovative. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our systems but our power to matrix. If you optimize mega-cyber-intuitively, you may have to cultivate perfectly. Without sufficient power shifts, web services are forced to become cross-media. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We constantly generate back-end C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think extensible. Think granular. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to brand robustly than to scale dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? We think we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to unleash extensibly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 users. Think 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to drive perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ActionScript. We will visualize the ability of C2C2B research and development to empower. Think nano-C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and RDF. The end-to-end raw bandwidth factor is scalable. We usually morph e-business portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will synergize the capability of power shifts to architect. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to facilitate nano-virtually. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? We will visualize the aptitude of technologies to matrix. We understand that it is better to grow cyber-transparently than to embrace intuitively. What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, clicks-and-mortar. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to deploy micro-extensibly than to recontextualize dynamically. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for monitoring emerging platforms? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, granular plan of action for monitoring emerging methodologies? We have come to know that if you leverage dynamically then you may also whiteboard virally.