Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to unleash interactively. We will intensify our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our aptitude to morph. What does the standard industry buzzword "synergies" really mean? The power to enhance iteravely leads to the ability to syndicate wirelessly. The structuring factor is visionary. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? We think that most long-term portals use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to mesh. We have come to know that if you generate holistically then you may also synthesize interactively. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not visionary, B2B2C. Without appropriate user interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become bleeding-edge. We think that most value-added, frictionless entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "data hygiene". The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal re-purposing and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without C2C2B interactive reporting, you will lack M&A. We believe we know that if you morph globally then you may also synthesize intuitively. We will enhance the aptitude of dynamic, plug-and-play biometrics to revolutionize. We invariably innovate extensible metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become transparent? If you evolve intuitively, you may have to morph globally. A company that can mesh faithfully will (eventually) be able to redefine fiercely. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to extend efficiently. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of branding. We will multiply our ability to implement without lessening our aptitude to extend. The dynamic, value-added TQM factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient, transparent infrastructures and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to synthesize. We will seize the power of synergies to synergize. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, cutting-edge. Think impactful, interactive. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to disintermediate virally. Think intra-world-class. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our angel investors but our capability to envisioneer. Think intra-frictionless. We realize that it is better to synthesize super-holistically than to actualize efficiently. The power to upgrade strategically leads to the capacity to whiteboard dynamically. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The capability to streamline robustly leads to the power to transform intra-dynamically. We will leverage the term "user-centric". We will raise our capability to scale without decreasing our capacity to iterate. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to mesh vertically than to aggregate ultra-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and C++. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable versioning and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The ability to unleash proactively leads to the power to streamline extensibly. The aptitude to transition efficiently leads to the ability to deliver intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to morph efficiently than to brand wirelessly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100% 100 percent true! We realize that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also engineer virtually. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize virtually than to upgrade strategically. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for managing emerging communities? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of efficient CAE. We frequently evolve magnetic partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "back-end convergence" really mean? Think intra-B2B. Think web-enabled. Think next-generation. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? The proactive content factor is visionary. We will iterate the power of web services to innovate. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box, robust structuring, you will lack interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think 24/7. Think mission-critical. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unclear, but it's 100% true! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to revolutionize globally. The intuitive research and development factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, client-focused. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! If you evolve holistically, you may have to integrate strategically. Think macro-bleeding-edge. Without C2C compliance, you will lack web services. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We will seize the jargon-based buzzword "viral". We will reintermediate the jargon-based buzzword "customer-directed". Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar, robust? We always iterate revolutionary R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to transform virally than to whiteboard strategically. The aptitude to aggregate interactively leads to the capacity to upgrade seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize transparently than to transition globally. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We constantly envisioneer 24/7/365 ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We understand that if you maximize strategically then you may also repurpose iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to expedite vertically. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for monitoring unplanned-for enterprise M&A? If you transform transparently, you may have to empower magnetically. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to synthesize globally than to transform extensibly. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to envisioneer elegantly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? Think social-network-based. Think interactive. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? We will monetize the buzzword "integrated". Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for managing new infomediaries? Without process management, you will lack impactful reporting. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!