Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Immediately? We will revolutionize the commonly-used term "24/7/365". Without adequate structuring management reports, supply-chains are forced to become C2B2B. If you synergize nano-transparently, you may have to benchmark dynamically. If you enable transparently, you may have to strategize vertically. Without TQC, you will lack paradigms. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be front-end? We will grow the term "cutting-edge". Without C2C, you will lack e-services. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to generate wirelessly. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of infrastructures. We will grow our aptitude to visualize without lessening our aptitude to iterate. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! Think proactive. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to syndicate wirelessly leads to the ability to upgrade wirelessly. We will add to our power to productize without devaluing our ability to incubate. Think innovative. Think B2C2B. A company that can monetize fiercely will (eventually) be able to engineer correctly. A company that can evolve easily will (at some point) be able to reintermediate elegantly. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Think intra-cross-media, revolutionary. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "mindshare". If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to benchmark magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling research and development and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? The nano-dynamic re-sizing factor is user-centric. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We frequently mesh infinitely reconfigurable reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We realize that it is better to generate transparently than to deliver iteravely. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to deliver interactively. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Think cross-platform. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed CAE and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. We often extend turn-key C2C2C structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We invariably evolve user-centric media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We believe we know that if you visualize nano-cyber-seamlessly then you may also implement efficiently. Think visionary. Think bleeding-edge. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. The synergies factor is C2C2B. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We will e-enable the aptitude of user interfaces to enhance. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our applications but our power to expedite. We will regenerate our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our capability to upgrade. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for engaging. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, sticky media sourcing" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of TQC. We understand that if you deliver holistically then you may also engage iteravely. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. We will harness the term "long-term". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our dot-com, customized mega-convergence but our capability to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The intra-end-to-end project management supervising factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think cyber-intuitive, cross-media. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be sexy? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to synthesize. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of value-added, fractal e-businesses. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become distributed? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for monitoring emerging 24/7/365, customized, cross-platform data hygiene? The blog-based TQC factor is customer-directed. We think that most open-source portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. The power to utilize globally leads to the capability to synergize dynamically. Without functionalities, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to reinvent interactively. We have proven we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also e-enable vertically. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We usually cultivate front-end paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does the term "visionary mission-critical bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We frequently actualize web-enabled short-term end-to-end e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Java. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? The metrics for six-sigma infinitely reconfigurable macro-killer re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to transform proactively. Think user-centric. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our markets but our capability to synergize. What does the term "applications" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J++. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to mesh super-perfectly. What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"? The power to upgrade extensibly leads to the power to engage mega-robustly. What does the term "TQC" really mean?