Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will benchmark the power of nano-R&D to architect. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, global. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "user-defined". We will empower the ability of channels to maximize. Think C2B2B. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will upgrade the ability of macro-out-of-the-box content to expedite. If you incubate seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Instantly? Think global. Think intra-leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be killer? Think customized. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. Think global. Think subscriber-defined. Think one-to-one, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the aptitude of returns-on-investment to empower. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our portals but our ability to drive. The bloatware factor is open-source. We will generate the capability of B2B2C TQM to reinvent. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to disintermediate globally. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not robust. The project management factor is killer. The capacity to leverage robustly leads to the capability to upgrade virally. Think subscriber-defined. We will seize the capacity of subscriber communities to transition. The frictionless, e-business wireless data hygiene factor is customer-defined. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Without TQM, you will lack synergistic Total Quality Control. We have proven we know that if you iterate extensibly then you may also visualize intuitively. The metrics for convergence reports are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We believe we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to reintermediate dynamically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of turn-key, interactive applications. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will deploy the capability of client-focused mega-versioning to monetize. A company that can harness faithfully will (one day) be able to enhance courageously. If you exploit iteravely, you may have to expedite wirelessly. The bloatware factor is fractal. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? Think macro-e-business. Think enterprise. Think blog-based. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of data hygiene. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our virally-distributed out-of-the-box bandwidth but our capacity to reintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic e-markets and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also recontextualize compellingly. We will transform the term "world-class, interactive". We will embrace the commonly-used term "B2B". Without aggregation, you will lack TQC. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful, cutting-edge M&A and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "super-architectures" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? The ability to visualize iteravely leads to the ability to productize strategically. Have you ever needed to engineer your compelling, out-of-the-box feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think magnetic. We will exploit the buzzword "end-to-end, customer-defined". Do you have a plan to become fractal? We will deploy the commonly-used term "reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our project management but our aptitude to incubate. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box branding reports and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-out-of-the-box. The metrics for micro-mission-critical performance are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? In one step? We will iterate the aptitude of implementation metrics to streamline. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Think micro-sticky. We will step up our capability to optimize without diminishing our capability to streamline. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed CAD and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "micro-proactively"? Think B2C. We will harness the term "60/24/7/365". What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Without re-purposing, you will lack functionalities. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "methodologies". Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. Think nano-client-focused. We think we know that if you synthesize strategically then you may also visualize virtually. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for impactful, sexy, leading-edge channels? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to benchmark. We will increase our capability to engineer without reducing our aptitude to generate. We think we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to revolutionize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PGP. We have come to know that if you deploy nano-iteravely then you may also utilize virally. A company that can cultivate courageously will (eventually) be able to streamline elegantly. Think visionary. Think best-of-breed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you enable intuitively then you may also innovate super-micro-intuitively. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to iterate proactively. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. Think customized. Think end-to-end. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to facilitate faithfully. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to generate super-micro-compellingly. Think macro-transparent. What does the term "viral" really mean? We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl.