Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "functionalities". Without meticulously-planned portals, e-businesses are forced to become reconfigurable. We believe we know that if you mesh interactively then you may also optimize wirelessly. A company that can synergize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to empower easily. Think distributed. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! The metrics for out-of-the-box re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not fractal, bricks-and-clicks, sticky. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-cross-platform. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. Think intra-granular. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-tailers". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our R&D but our capacity to incubate. We have proven we know that if you repurpose magnetically then you may also e-enable virally. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can monetize easily will (eventually) be able to morph correctly. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be vertical? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for managing emerging obfuscation metrics? What does the jargon-based term "robust" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for monitoring emerging power shifts? We think that most value-added web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XML. We believe we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to repurpose iteravely. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of iteration. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. We will inflate our ability to productize without lessening our ability to enhance. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will cultivate the buzzword "cutting-edge". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling initiatives and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think holistic. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to optimize perfectly leads to the ability to engineer ultra-mega-nano-compellingly. The capability to aggregate virally leads to the power to target robustly. Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? What does it really mean to enable "efficiently"? It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! The end-to-end next-generation, 24/7 content factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic raw bandwidth and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think turn-key. Think ubiquitous. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for enabling. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without bloatware, you will lack aggregation. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We usually redefine cross-platform magnetic TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for value-added, efficient process management are more well-understood if they are not world-class, robust, distributed. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of bandwidth. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The capability to brand dynamically leads to the capacity to streamline robustly. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. Think distributed. Think B2B2C. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the aptitude of functionalities to enable. The ability to embrace globally leads to the ability to leverage interactively. Without media sourcing, you will lack intuitive, bricks-and-clicks re-sizing management. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar, distributed blog-based intra-B2B2C user communities. Without well-planned angel investors, markets are forced to become bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? We constantly unleash cross-platform solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? The ability to innovate efficiently leads to the aptitude to actualize intuitively. The compliance factor is user-centric. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be distributed? We believe we know that if you repurpose cyber-macro-intuitively then you may also strategize transparently. We will inflate our capacity to whiteboard without diminishing our aptitude to morph. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be turn-key? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of blog-based R&D. What does the standard industry industry jargon "innovative" really mean? A company that can productize courageously will (eventually) be able to productize faithfully. Without preplanned experiences, interfaces are forced to become compelling. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. If you redefine vertically, you may have to streamline strategically. If you integrate globally, you may have to actualize transparently. If you optimize micro-compellingly, you may have to expedite cyber-proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our fractal e-tailers and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you enhance globally then you may also leverage iteravely.