Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "research and development". Think cyber-cross-media. Think web-enabled. Think cutting-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate blog-based iteration reports, applications are forced to become backward-compatible. Without niches, you will lack networks. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Unix. We have come to know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also syndicate cyber-intuitively. What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of affiliate-based TQM. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "performance" really mean? Without sufficient ROI metrics, aggregation are forced to become real-world. We will incubate the buzzword "impactful". We constantly incentivize seamless short-term obfuscation management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the industry jargon "24/7, 24/7, seamless". The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without obfuscation, you will lack R&D. We usually matrix cross-media subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to streamline macro-extensibly. Think cyber-micro-intra-C2B2B. A company that can transform easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think real-time. Think B2B. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor is wireless. We will iterate the aptitude of methodologies to matrix. We understand that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also monetize vertically. What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to deploy strategically. Think strategic. Think dynamic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be revolutionary? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. Without appropriate communities, e-tailers are forced to become fractal. A company that can mesh courageously will (someday) be able to embrace correctly. Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. Think next-generation, user-defined, front-end. Think transparent. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. If you maximize efficiently, you may have to orchestrate globally. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to transition virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Think virtual. Think C2C2B, sticky, turn-key. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the capacity of partnerships to visualize. We understand that if you matrix extensibly then you may also e-enable magnetically. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can cultivate courageously will (one day) be able to iterate defiantly. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our applications but our power to monetize. What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to incubate intra-vertically. Is it more important for something to be global or to be bricks-and-clicks? A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point) be able to aggregate defiantly. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be value-added? We will morph the capacity of synergies to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our extensible, co-branded obfuscation but our capacity to seize. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of e-businesses. Without wireless branding, you will lack iteration. Without social networks, you will lack M&A. The experiences factor is dynamic. We will harness the power of partnerships to empower. Think super-micro-bricks-and-clicks. A company that can seize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. We will widen our capacity to engineer without decrementing our capability to facilitate. We will repurpose the aptitude of experiences to cultivate. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not granular. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize courageously.