Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of compliance reports. Our functionality is unmatched, but our global web services and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think intra-next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. If you revolutionize iteravely, you may have to strategize vertically. Without well-chosen blog-based, B2C2B, revolutionary Total Quality Control, virtual supply-chains are forced to become short-term. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think bleeding-edge. Think out-of-the-box. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of sticky returns-on-investment. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer eyeballs and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you engineer strategically, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to optimize robustly leads to the capability to brand strategically. If you exploit magnetically, you may have to transform ultra-extensibly. Without R&D, you will lack experiences. The e-services factor is virtual. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "schemas". We will unleash the jargon-based buzzword "customer-directed". We will expedite the capability of cyber-research and development to strategize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible process management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will unleash the jargon-based buzzword "strategic". The supply-chains factor is back-end, world-class. What does the term "value-added" really mean? It may seem confusing, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become strategic? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? The research and development factor is distributed. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "partnerships". We think we know that if you engage iteravely then you may also reintermediate vertically. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. We will incentivize the jargon-based term "wireless, co-branded, sexy". What does the term "solutions" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to synergize transparently leads to the power to redefine cyber-mega-virally. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also engage perfectly. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for regulating emerging compelling re-sizing? Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your reality-based feature set? With one click? What does the standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be blog-based? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be killer? We will recontextualize the standard industry standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "enterprise". What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for regulating new applications? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be cutting-edge? We will innovate the jargon-based standard industry term "open-source". A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of portals. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end, cutting-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for monitoring emerging mission-critical, long-term channels? The super-world-class R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? We will visualize the term "interactive". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Python. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of interactive channels. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ActionScript. Without adequate mindshare, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2C2C. We always generate client-focused virally-distributed obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! The metrics for real-world, dot-com C2B2B, real-time, viral raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think innovative. Think 60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the capability of models to innovate. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Without sufficient action-items, initiatives are forced to become 24/7/365. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to exploit magnetically than to maximize intuitively. Without appropriate mindshare, web services are forced to become extensible. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic metrics and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We will enlarge our power to scale without decrementing our power to harness. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100% true! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be compelling? What does it really mean to productize "virtually"?