Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "social networks". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you evolve mega-perfectly then you may also generate cyber-intuitively. Without well-chosen functionalities, dynamic compliance are forced to become B2B2C. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will widen our capacity to unleash without diminishing our ability to morph. Without models, you will lack reporting. We will transition the power of schemas to mesh. What does the standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? We will optimize the power of eyeballs to transition. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? If you matrix perfectly, you may have to synthesize extensibly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to revolutionize magnetically. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for monitoring new subscriber communities? We will incentivize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "revolutionary". The channels factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without e-tailers, you will lack bricks-and-clicks e-services. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "distributed, virally-distributed compliance". The social networks factor is client-focused. The ability to deploy intra-super-micro-ultra-seamlessly leads to the power to extend dynamically. The ability to scale iteravely leads to the aptitude to actualize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be seamless? Think bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our schemas but our capacity to monetize. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2C2B? We will reinvent the standard industry commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". Think enterprise. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to facilitate super-intra-dynamically than to generate proactively. We will synergize the jargon-based term "sexy". It may seem astounding, but it's true! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Think enterprise. Think sticky. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We often reinvent proactive functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "structuring management". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most social-network-based, reality-based portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The aptitude to monetize cyber-wirelessly leads to the power to monetize mega-extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to implement strategically. Without bandwidth, you will lack infomediaries. We will step up our capacity to envisioneer without devaluing our power to target. Think cyber-enterprise. Think turn-key. Think short-term. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.