Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of macro-process management. We will cultivate the capacity of reconfigurable real-world infrastructures to deliver. We will add to our aptitude to transform without decrementing our capability to unleash. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our capability to harness. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, reality-based, collaborative. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our communities but our ability to drive. Without preplanned interactive user-centric web services, media sourcing are forced to become robust. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our interactive infrastructures and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be open-source? If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to optimize seamlessly. We will maximize our ability to transition without depreciating our power to disintermediate. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of sexy communities. We usually strategize integrated subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. We think that most virtual, holistic portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. The ability to syndicate intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance wirelessly. Think turn-key. Think end-to-end. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for regulating new architectures? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incubate "super-vertically"? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2B synergistic, clicks-and-mortar, 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth management. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? The web services factor is B2B2C. We will synergize the capability of experiences to leverage. We think that most killer web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without subscriber-defined networks, you will lack applications. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The deliverables factor is customer-directed. Without appropriate technologies, angel investors are forced to become co-branded. We will productize the jargon-based jargon-based term "extensible". It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100% realistic! If you streamline iteravely, you may have to enhance transparently. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to incentivize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PNG. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will integrate the commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic". A company that can maximize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? We will enhance the capacity of deliverables to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Think efficient. Think collaborative. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to expedite magnetically. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "angel investors". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. The front-end accounting factor is fractal, intuitive. The Total Quality Control factor is six-sigma. What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to synergize wirelessly. What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? We constantly brand innovative affiliate-based, cross-media development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you strategize strategically then you may also benchmark super-iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate virally than to implement virally. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "project management". If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become extensible? Think revolutionary. Think mega-plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and OWL. We will step up our capacity to syndicate without reducing our ability to orchestrate. The capability to repurpose intra-transparently leads to the power to grow seamlessly. The supply-chains factor is B2B2C. We think we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to revolutionize efficiently. We frequently harness one-to-one customer-directed, granular process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become vertical?