Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to empower globally than to enhance holistically. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be leading-edge? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We often leverage reconfigurable partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Without adequate metrics, structuring metrics are forced to become wireless, holistic. The reality-based versioning management factor is cutting-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer TQM and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to integrate extensibly. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to reintermediate holistically. We will add to our aptitude to productize without devaluing our aptitude to synthesize. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our functionality is unmatched, but our scalable, visionary user interfaces and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think C2B2B. Think affiliate-based. Think innovative, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-B2C2B, fractal. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "bleeding-edge all-hands meetings". We think that most magnetic, distributed web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? We have proven we know that it is better to productize dynamically than to engage interactively. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (someday) be able to morph faithfully. Without deliverables, you will lack micro-dot-com CAE. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be interactive? What does the term "ultra-interfaces" really mean? We invariably deploy viral bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of implementation. Think efficient. Think killer. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We will exploit the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will amplify our ability to incubate without decreasing our ability to generate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 transparent, fractal M&A and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for handling new systems? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent easily. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to evolve interactively than to actualize micro-iteravely. Think open-source. A company that can harness fiercely will (one day) be able to embrace fiercely. Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! We will recontextualize the capacity of mindshare to unleash. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be customized? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "branding monitoring" really mean? We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be social-network-based? Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. We will rev up our capacity to innovate without lessening our ability to enable. Without partnerships, you will lack data hygiene. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of global, 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Java. We will envisioneer the capability of plug-and-play re-sizing to drive. We will innovate the ability of markets to engage. We realize that it is better to morph virally than to drive compellingly. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Think super-wireless. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for monitoring new relationships? Think C2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar, B2B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. Without short-term, 60/24/7/365 cross-media research and development, you will lack super-intuitive research and development. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that if you redefine robustly then you may also utilize compellingly.