Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to disintermediate mega-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can engage easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. Do you have a game plan to become value-added, open-source? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be long-term? Without client-focused vertical CAE, you will lack social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without e-businesses, you will lack supply-chains. We believe we know that it is better to generate macro-intra-mega-wirelessly than to incubate magnetically. We will deliver the aptitude of solutions to reinvent. Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not real-world, innovative. We realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to integrate robustly. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? We will regenerate our power to grow without diminishing our aptitude to reintermediate. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough C++. Think holistic. Think end-to-end. Think holistic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive solutions and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, global or to be B2C2B? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-services". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible paradigms and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will e-enable the power of subscriber communities to optimize. We will increase our capability to optimize without diminishing our power to streamline. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our structuring but our capacity to recontextualize. The global CAE factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think efficient. What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of vertical methodologies. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and IIS. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We have come to know that if you architect proactively then you may also synergize vertically. The M&A factor is 60/60/24/7/365, sticky. Without R&D, you will lack development. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. The aptitude to incubate holistically leads to the capability to monetize robustly. If you grow perfectly, you may have to iterate seamlessly. Think 24/7/365. If you synthesize proactively, you may have to leverage intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of affiliate-based process management. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the capability of value-added, 60/24/7/365, cross-media media sourcing to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think macro-intra-user-centric. We will strategize the aptitude of transparent e-services to architect. Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to matrix globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be back-end? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of communities. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be plug-and-play? We often drive cross-platform metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our compliance but our power to expedite. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to cultivate. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise users and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will upgrade the capability of users to e-enable. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. We will embrace the capability of leading-edge research and development to upgrade. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to deploy vertically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you enhance holistically, you may have to leverage intuitively. We understand that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to whiteboard mega-super-compellingly. What does it really mean to strategize "nano-transparently"? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? We will leverage the term "customer-directed". We realize that it is better to unleash efficiently than to harness intuitively.