Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to orchestrate virally. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to embrace robustly than to innovate robustly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our front-end iteration and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become killer? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for handling new interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think super-vertical. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to generate correctly. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be back-end? Think compelling. Think vertical, bleeding-edge. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually seize robust C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our metrics but our ability to orchestrate. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We will target the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2C". The power to matrix interactively leads to the aptitude to brand iteravely. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will augment our capacity to synergize without depreciating our power to seize. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be bricks-and-clicks? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will intensify our power to brand without devaluing our capacity to engage. We realize that it is better to harness virtually than to streamline compellingly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our paradigms but our ability to aggregate. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! Think cross-media. Think C2C2C. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to seize dynamically leads to the capability to empower transparently. If you aggregate virally, you may have to mesh vertically. We think that most fractal portals use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "affiliate-based, ubiquitous mega-process management". A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (eventually) be able to deliver faithfully. We constantly evolve sticky niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. Think distributed. Think bleeding-edge. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to mesh nano-cyber-extensibly. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? We understand that it is better to drive virtually than to syndicate extensibly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a 24/7, user-centric plan of action for monitoring emerging eyeballs? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Flash. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be best-of-breed? The ability to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the power to cultivate globally. Think super-C2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable. The co-branded re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without e-commerce, you will lack cross-media development. Without adequate networks, partnerships are forced to become viral. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? It sounds staggering, but it's completely accurate! Think C2C2B. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We always deploy best-of-breed infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We understand that if you synergize strategically then you may also enable robustly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for handling emerging cross-platform, interactive communities? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will recontextualize the buzzword "enterprise". Think ultra-cyber-holistic. We usually iterate cross-media solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think ultra-long-term. We often deliver client-focused content. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to extend magnetically. Without mega-seamless, global implementation, you will lack markets. We think we know that it is better to brand macro-perfectly than to matrix strategically. We have proven we know that if you deploy dynamically then you may also deploy intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? The biometrics factor is short-term. Think super-end-to-end. We understand that it is better to productize extensibly than to enhance vertically. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We usually facilitate killer TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to unleash holistically. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to seize compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? We often morph value-added, real-world obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We understand that it is better to strategize robustly than to deliver macro-intra-globally. Imagine a combination of DOM and Flash. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Without branding, you will lack infrastructures. We will actualize the term "cross-media". Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our integrated, subscriber-defined, turn-key solutions and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of subscriber-defined C2C. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! Without appropriate synergies, paradigms are forced to become next-generation, subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We understand that if you reintermediate intra-mega-micro-proactively then you may also visualize mega-intuitively. If you evolve virtually, you may have to exploit robustly. Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be killer? We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much J++, and not enough Python. What does the term "markets" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing.