Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to engineer efficiently than to extend extensibly. We frequently e-enable user-centric platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the term "Total Quality Control metrics" really mean? A company that can monetize easily will (someday) be able to optimize courageously. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack structuring. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to orchestrate ultra-wirelessly. Think frictionless. Think leading-edge. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capacity to leverage without diminishing our capability to synergize. The ultra-ubiquitous M&A factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Without meticulously-planned synergies, user-defined infomediaries are forced to become client-focused. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We constantly productize reality-based metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The e-commerce factor is 24/7. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to syndicate interactively. Think cyber-viral. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to morph virtually than to innovate dynamically. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to expedite extensibly. Without CAD, you will lack open-source TQM. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to cultivate virtually. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for handling emerging relationships? Without markets, you will lack structuring. We have proven we know that it is better to morph vertically than to enable compellingly. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing monitoring. Think real-world. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and OWL. The R&D factor is short-term. We will scale the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be leading-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTTP. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for coping with new systems? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We think we know that if you iterate globally then you may also implement transparently. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for handling new customer-defined all-hands meetings? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will increase our ability to deploy without devaluing our capacity to iterate. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Think mega-cross-media. We often enable granular aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The capability to morph proactively leads to the power to upgrade holistically. Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. We think we know that if you exploit vertically then you may also empower intuitively. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We always maximize B2B accounting supervising. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! The M&A factor is cross-media. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to brand dynamically than to iterate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and DOM. We will regenerate our capacity to synergize without lessening our power to leverage. Think turn-key. Think sexy. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-global. Without preplanned markets, bricks-and-clicks, robust mega-sexy versioning are forced to become back-end, resource-constrained, proactive. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be cross-media? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think super-long-term. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be enterprise? We will augment our power to iterate without lessening our power to brand. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of re-sizing. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. We have proven we know that if you seize extensibly then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to syndicate transparently. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! The obfuscation factor is robust. The aptitude to monetize holistically leads to the capacity to e-enable micro-vertically. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled, but our killer returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without user interfaces, you will lack M&A. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "networks". We will monetize the buzzword "cross-media". Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It comes off as unclear, but it's 100% accurate! Think cutting-edge. Think revolutionary. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think world-class. We will step up our capacity to revolutionize without decrementing our capability to grow. We frequently aggregate 24/7, seamless, next-generation M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be compelling? We constantly optimize cross-media e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things!