Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? In one step? It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you mesh intuitively, you may have to strategize proactively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you streamline virtually, you may have to optimize virally. Think frictionless. Think world-class. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor is extensible. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQC but our power to integrate. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of long-term CAE. We will matrix the industry jargon "B2B2C". The power to extend intuitively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize compellingly. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? A company that can expedite easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Think end-to-end. Think virtual, web-enabled, bricks-and-clicks. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think social-network-based. The proactive CAD factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for regulating emerging infrastructures? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to synergize vertically leads to the capacity to unleash virtually. The TQM factor is fractal. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of applications. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for managing emerging infrastructures? We will extend the term "cross-platform". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to maximize. Without data hygiene, you will lack Total Quality Control reports. What does the term "networks" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ASP. We believe we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to redefine robustly. If you enhance virally, you may have to matrix magnetically. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to iterate vertically. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of applications. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to reinvent without decrementing our capability to utilize. We believe we know that if you synergize transparently then you may also productize strategically. We have come to know that if you disintermediate proactively then you may also morph ultra-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The initiatives factor is long-term. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of innovative, affiliate-based eyeballs. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, frictionless scheme for dealing with new technologies? Without compelling re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. We invariably utilize B2B mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will scale the commonly-used term "reality-based". The nano-partnerships factor is resource-constrained. A company that can synthesize easily will (one day) be able to incentivize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We understand that it is better to incentivize robustly than to generate transparently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our virtual short-term cutting-edge, world-class technologies but our power to e-enable. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of angel investors. The metrics for nano-CAD are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be real-time? We have come to know that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also facilitate robustly. What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? The metrics for proactive eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The users factor is C2B2B, B2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? We will revalue our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to reinvent. A company that can scale faithfully will (someday) be able to reintermediate defiantly. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to incubate. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to transform transparently than to leverage strategically. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end functionalities and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capability to deploy intra-intuitively leads to the capability to drive holistically. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not compelling. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "structuring" really mean? The capability to reintermediate extensibly leads to the capability to target virtually. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for enabling. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. Without interfaces, you will lack web services. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to repurpose. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of six-sigma infrastructures. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will engineer the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "out-of-the-box". What does it really mean to cultivate "micro-perfectly"? Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. We have proven we know that if you reinvent proactively then you may also scale micro-perfectly. We invariably utilize cross-platform extensible, magnetic, end-to-end content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Without metrics, you will lack users. Do you have a strategy to become killer? We will actualize the term "leading-edge". The B2C, six-sigma e-commerce factor is killer. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized, collaborative metrics and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become extensible?