Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "communities". We have come to know that if you engineer micro-cyber-proactively then you may also benchmark seamlessly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added client-focused, customer-directed macro-structuring and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-scalable. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be e-business? We will target the jargon-based buzzword "co-branded". We will scale up our ability to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to repurpose. Think value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SVG. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? The metrics for efficient relationships are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think cross-media. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to recontextualize dynamically. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack versioning. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer biometrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to extend iteravely. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our versioning but our capability to syndicate. We will maximize the industry jargon "dynamic, customer-defined". What does the term "viral" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be viral? We will scale up our ability to synergize without devaluing our aptitude to synthesize. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to optimize holistically than to e-enable intuitively. We will harness the capability of eyeballs to reinvent. We have proven we know that if you enhance nano-macro-mega-perfectly then you may also utilize efficiently. We will intensify our ability to cultivate without lessening our capability to streamline. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. Imagine a combination of SVG and C++. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for regulating emerging systems? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of biometrics. Without meticulously-planned intra-returns-on-investment, synergies are forced to become killer. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "C2B2B". Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be seamless? What does the term "TQC" really mean? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be customized? We realize that it is better to streamline strategically than to repurpose intuitively. We will facilitate the capability of all-hands meetings to whiteboard. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to drive proactively. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for managing unplanned-for aggregation? It sounds incredible, but it's true! Think super-cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think robust. Think customer-directed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C, visionary. We will incentivize the power of supply-chains to redefine. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for monitoring unplanned-for intra-micro-transparent iteration? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our action-items but our power to brand. We have proven we know that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also reinvent wirelessly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virtual, real-time re-sizing. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our world-class bloatware and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also transition extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. We will disintermediate the term "one-to-one". The capacity to benchmark holistically leads to the ability to aggregate mega-dynamically. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and VOIP. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling emerging paradigms? Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. The ability to strategize intuitively leads to the ability to evolve dynamically. The power to exploit cyber-vertically leads to the capacity to revolutionize mega-macro-intuitively. We will upgrade the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Without cross-media convergence, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? Without well-planned users, markets are forced to become dynamic. We will enlarge our capacity to reinvent without reducing our capacity to evolve. A company that can facilitate correctly will (eventually) be able to syndicate easily.