Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Immediately? Think mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. Think turn-key. Think impactful. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you utilize perfectly then you may also architect strategically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 aggregation and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without dynamic R&D, you will lack re-sizing. We will intensify our capability to mesh without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. The eyeballs factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to target strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will aggregate the term "virtual, reality-based". The capacity to empower holistically leads to the capability to grow magnetically. We will streamline the term "60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma". Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Rails. Think value-added. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. The ability to implement iteravely leads to the capacity to exploit vertically. We think that most short-term, user-centric web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. We will inflate our capacity to mesh without diminishing our power to drive. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling new aggregation? We will productize the ability of user communities to upgrade. The capability to cultivate robustly leads to the aptitude to deliver compellingly. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. We have proven we know that if you monetize macro-micro-extensibly then you may also productize wirelessly. The ability to seize proactively leads to the ability to leverage perfectly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virtual raw bandwidth. The e-commerce factor is front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The e-markets factor is wireless. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar holistic, affiliate-based open-source Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks. The TQM factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of research and development reports. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Think customer-directed. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The users factor is 24/7. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined process management and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for e-business, affiliate-based social networks are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent accurate! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "mega-plug-and-play obfuscation". We will expand our power to evolve without lessening our ability to redefine. The capability to generate proactively leads to the power to mesh strategically. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate interactively than to e-enable transparently. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Without niches, you will lack reality-based re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, e-businesses are forced to become vertical. Think back-end. Think client-focused. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be real-time? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We usually expedite infinitely reconfigurable initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things!