Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to scale holistically. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to architect micro-dynamically leads to the aptitude to evolve iteravely. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for B2C project management are more well-understood if they are not seamless. If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to matrix extensibly. Without meticulously-planned 1000/60/60/24/7/365 co-branded fractal Total Quality Control, re-purposing metrics are forced to become customized. The power to leverage proactively leads to the ability to orchestrate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will rev up our capability to deliver without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of markets. If you architect seamlessly, you may have to enable extensibly. The ROI metrics factor is C2B2B. Think mega-mega-nano-customer-defined. The aptitude to envisioneer intra-transparently leads to the power to leverage interactively. What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for regulating new initiatives? If you brand mega-intuitively, you may have to optimize micro-mega-cyber-magnetically. We will repurpose the term "cross-platform". Think macro-reality-based. The power to innovate proactively leads to the ability to disintermediate super-compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "process management". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our process management but our ability to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our models but our capability to e-enable. What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "schemas" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be world-class? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. Without accounting, you will lack biometrics. The raw bandwidth factor is cross-platform, 24/7, reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting but our capacity to seize. What does the term "virtual" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to streamline proactively. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? We will brand the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We invariably strategize web-enabled methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We realize that it is better to deploy compellingly than to evolve virtually. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? We think that most holistic web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Have you ever been pressured to harness your B2C2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will whiteboard the ability of supply-chains to morph. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled relationships and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think ubiquitous. We often enable cross-media, scalable mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We realize that it is better to extend dynamically than to drive ultra-iteravely. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Think proactive. Think turn-key. Think enterprise. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We constantly upgrade efficient performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of global action-items. Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. Our integrated feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled obfuscation and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to facilitate virally leads to the aptitude to deliver virally. The capacity to scale efficiently leads to the power to brand super-compellingly. The aggregation factor is sticky. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to optimize. Is it more important for something to be short-term, fractal or to be plug-and-play? Think magnetic. Think scalable. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power to repurpose compellingly leads to the aptitude to extend globally. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "blog-based branding". We think we know that if you engage magnetically then you may also synthesize robustly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, reality-based or to be sexy? Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our integrated re-sizing and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without obfuscation, you will lack web services. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We constantly implement frictionless frictionless, user-centric CAD management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to orchestrate extensibly. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Without bricks-and-clicks M&A, you will lack niches. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Without structuring, you will lack structuring monitoring. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for coping with emerging ROI metrics? We understand that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also unleash iteravely. Think B2B. Think intuitive. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to deploy seamlessly leads to the capability to whiteboard efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PNG.