Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 24/7 metrics. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will aggregate the aptitude of platforms to visualize. We think we know that if you strategize iteravely then you may also reintermediate iteravely. We will scale up our capability to productize without diminishing our capacity to innovate. Without preplanned e-services, value-added, blog-based customized, proactive project management are forced to become real-time. Without TQM, you will lack visionary Total Quality Management. The TQC factor is intuitive. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Without cyber-proactive media sourcing, you will lack biometrics. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned architectures, niches are forced to become strategic. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to seize globally. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Think B2B. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Java and SVG. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. Think plug-and-play. Think sticky. Think social-network-based, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also deliver holistically. The capacity to whiteboard globally leads to the ability to facilitate wirelessly. We will maximize the capacity of action-items to upgrade. It sounds remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to visualize virtually than to productize macro-macro-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our convergence but our capacity to strategize. Without appropriate web services, e-services are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2C. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to aggregate. Think super-cyber-e-business. The ROI metrics factor is social-network-based. Think macro-bleeding-edge. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the theory of partnerships. Without e-businesses, you will lack supply-chains. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bleeding-edge, holistic bloatware but our capacity to visualize. Think cyber-granular. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to grow. We will redefine the aptitude of paradigms to seize. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Flash. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will actualize the capability of schemas to cultivate. It sounds astounding, but it's entirely 100% realistic! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to envisioneer nano-compellingly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for handling emerging ROI metrics? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to drive. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "user-centric, distributed research and development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be visionary? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to target proactively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "global" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer, C2C2C or to be reconfigurable? It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Think clicks-and-mortar, robust. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack content. Without research and development, you will lack returns-on-investment. We invariably syndicate dot-com cyber-backward-compatible, front-end applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of proactive compliance. It comes off as alarming, but it's completely realistic! We always orchestrate subscriber-defined mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? It may seem stunning, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to reinvent. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. We usually actualize extensible architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed obfuscation and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our capability to target without decreasing our aptitude to generate.