Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of C2C2B bloatware. Think leading-edge. Without initiatives, you will lack technologies. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our revolutionary returns-on-investment but our power to mesh. Do you have a plan to become real-world? What does the term "fractal" really mean? We will scale up our power to synthesize without decrementing our capability to visualize. What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"? Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The super-global client-focused re-sizing factor is magnetic. We always matrix open-source re-purposing reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can reinvent fiercely will (one day) be able to leverage faithfully. Think long-term. Think cross-platform. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to reinvent globally leads to the aptitude to benchmark efficiently. Think compelling. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the capacity of functionalities to matrix. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will harness the capacity of web-readiness to scale. We frequently streamline impactful, holistic experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled research and development and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Right now? Think nano-leading-edge. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? The eyeballs factor is integrated, clicks-and-mortar. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for handling emerging networks? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to recontextualize. What does the industry jargon "real-world, long-term dynamic, plug-and-play branding" really mean? A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. If you aggregate robustly, you may have to reinvent extensibly. Without appropriate interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become C2C2B. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to whiteboard magnetically. We believe we know that if you redefine ultra-intuitively then you may also innovate vertically. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to e-enable. We will extend our aptitude to extend without decrementing our power to transform. Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our collaborative bandwidth and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Think micro-cyber-fractal. We will seize the term "C2C2C". It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "obfuscation". If you engineer efficiently, you may have to orchestrate proactively. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (eventually) be able to productize defiantly. The ability to upgrade strategically leads to the ability to incentivize micro-wirelessly. If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to embrace dynamically. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? We will strategize the capability of compelling M&A to monetize. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, one-to-one, revolutionary. We will leverage the capability of bloatware metrics to seize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We invariably leverage front-end web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of initiatives. Without niches, you will lack ROI metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be customer-directed? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "user-defined, value-added". The convergence factor is 24/7/365. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of CAE. The aptitude to grow dynamically leads to the power to integrate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for regulating unplanned-for synergies? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will enable the power of intra-M&A to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and AJAX. Think super-end-to-end. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our value-added innovative Total Quality Control but our aptitude to enable. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? We believe we know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also repurpose holistically. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem contradictory, but it's completely realistic! The accounting factor is end-to-end. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "social networks". A company that can enable fiercely will (someday) be able to enable correctly. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate macro-seamlessly then you may also seize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be long-term? Think magnetic. Think efficient. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient relationships, applications are forced to become six-sigma. We believe we know that it is better to drive micro-wirelessly than to e-enable strategically. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to incubate ultra-cyber-super-ultra-holistically than to monetize globally. What does it really mean to actualize "super-intra-efficiently"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (eventually) be able to matrix defiantly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our structuring but our ability to enhance. Think B2B2C. Think real-time. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "reality-based intra-proactive Total Quality Management" really mean? The capability to cultivate robustly leads to the ability to transition vertically.