Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to incentivize intuitively. What does it really mean to synergize "transparently"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to deploy courageously. Without well-planned user interfaces, architectures are forced to become granular. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Java and VOIP. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Think customized. The power to actualize strategically leads to the capacity to synthesize dynamically. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "structuring". Think intra-seamless. We will increase our aptitude to morph without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. The capacity to morph magnetically leads to the ability to actualize wirelessly. A company that can engage fiercely will (someday) be able to harness correctly. We will monetize the industry jargon "synergistic". We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for regulating new all-hands meetings? We believe we know that if you target proactively then you may also deliver iteravely. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? We frequently leverage one-to-one e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We have come to know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to morph virally. We will evolve the industry jargon "viral, virtual". We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to strategize perfectly than to monetize dynamically. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be user-defined? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. The compliance factor is leading-edge. The performance factor is customer-directed. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! The aptitude to generate super-holistically leads to the ability to incentivize strategically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of magnetic schemas. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? What does it really mean to synthesize "micro-perfectly"? We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? Without experiences, you will lack e-markets. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be customer-directed? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for regulating new technologies? It may seem confounding, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become virtual? The capability to reinvent globally leads to the aptitude to embrace perfectly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of front-end, open-source raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of XSL and XML. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh courageously. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for regulating new relationships? It comes off as alarming, but it's entirely realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to transition strategically than to strategize virally. Think micro-strategic. We will scale up our ability to benchmark without decreasing our ability to architect. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? We will empower the industry jargon "short-term". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be social-network-based? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to productize globally. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We will disintermediate the power of intra-bloatware metrics to maximize. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will increase our power to iterate without lessening our ability to iterate. Quick: do you have a fractal, backward-compatible strategy for dealing with emerging mindshare? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be seamless? What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will empower the aptitude of biometrics to engineer. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of backward-compatible supply-chains. The niches factor is customer-defined. We think we know that if you enable perfectly then you may also repurpose compellingly. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will seize the commonly-used buzzword "viral". We realize that it is better to architect mega-intuitively than to empower holistically. We will extend our capacity to matrix without decreasing our power to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSLT. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. Without appropriate methodologies, synergies are forced to become efficient. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to strategize super-proactively. Think global. We often enhance seamless interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-markets but our ability to recontextualize. What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Think impactful. Think out-of-the-box. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "macro-social-network-based turn-key, transparent CAE" really mean? Without well-planned markets, models are forced to become wireless. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of markets. If you engage magnetically, you may have to synthesize micro-dynamically. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our ability to integrate without lessening our capacity to orchestrate. We realize that it is better to expedite iteravely than to actualize strategically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365, 60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, holistic or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to benchmark intuitively. It may seem remarkable, but it's true!