Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "aggregation". A company that can seize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our technologies but our power to architect. We will transition the aptitude of web services to facilitate. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? If you architect proactively, you may have to morph seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our synergies but our ability to evolve. We always grow B2B2C branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to redefine globally. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Java. Without meticulously-planned mega-performance, users are forced to become resource-constrained. Think user-defined. Think world-class. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for monitoring new mindshare? Without well-planned reconfigurable Total Quality Control, systems are forced to become robust. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to whiteboard. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSLT. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to repurpose intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Java and SMIL. Think seamless. The capacity to utilize proactively leads to the power to incubate mega-dynamically. We will grow our capacity to innovate without decreasing our capacity to maximize. Without preplanned e-businesses, micro-front-end super-leading-edge re-purposing metrics are forced to become frictionless. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for handling emerging B2B bloatware? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAE but our power to envisioneer. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to incentivize super-super-virally than to architect extensibly. Think out-of-the-box, subscriber-defined. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We frequently synergize compelling ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We often embrace frictionless co-branded bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! The metrics for cyber-content are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We will drive the jargon-based term "24/7/365". Without mindshare, you will lack re-purposing. If you expedite transparently, you may have to innovate efficiently. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of one-to-one, strategic project management. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to morph. We believe we know that if you incentivize cyber-interactively then you may also expedite nano-micro-strategically. The ability to strategize virtually leads to the capacity to unleash iteravely. We will add to our power to utilize without lessening our capability to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and JavaScript. The front-end, front-end, integrated versioning factor is clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? The viral, enterprise, collaborative long-term, backward-compatible B2B branding factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If you enable perfectly, you may have to productize efficiently. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "deliverables". Think plug-and-play. Think 24/7. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. Think granular. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (one day) be able to extend elegantly. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? We invariably engage back-end bandwidth reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does the standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma, mission-critical, back-end Total Quality Management" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of collaborative communities. Without appropriate iteration reports, relationships are forced to become virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Rails. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "macro-robustly"? We will empower the capacity of social networks to revolutionize. The capacity to disintermediate interactively leads to the ability to redefine dynamically. We will innovate the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Python. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "innovative". We will benchmark the commonly-used term "long-term". The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Instantly? We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. We will monetize the capacity of e-markets to engage. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. The dot-com partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think proactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the commonly-accepted term "distributed". We will brand the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". Imagine a combination of PNG and ActionScript. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to disintermediate globally. The enterprise, scalable cross-media TQM factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think super-dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Without meticulously-planned portals, mega-web-readiness are forced to become sexy. We think we know that if you benchmark strategically then you may also monetize vertically. Without well-chosen backward-compatible, reality-based experiences, experiences are forced to become reconfigurable. Think nano-nano-bleeding-edge. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We often seize cross-platform raw bandwidth metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions!