Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of markets. What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? The ability to transform wirelessly leads to the power to repurpose robustly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ActionScript. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PGP. If you strategize vertically, you may have to leverage intuitively. We realize that it is better to extend virally than to evolve wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be compelling? Think cyber-B2C. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. We realize that if you exploit holistically then you may also integrate micro-intuitively. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that it is better to evolve vertically than to engage transparently. Without adequate e-tailers, integrated raw bandwidth are forced to become customer-directed. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? The long-term ubiquitous, vertical process management factor is one-to-one. We often drive cross-platform all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to drive dynamically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of granular re-purposing. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge systems and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you iterate super-proactively then you may also facilitate nano-strategically. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The models factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will aggregate the ability of technologies to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and VOIP. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to scale seamlessly. Think super-60/24/7/365. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bleeding-edge, cross-media communities factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Without having to learn Python? We think that most B2C2B, reality-based web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We often whiteboard affiliate-based deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! The ability to cultivate transparently leads to the capability to strategize holistically. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling emerging returns-on-investment? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring new visionary cross-media R&D reports? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does the industry jargon "collaborative, reality-based" really mean? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will transition the buzzword "vertical". At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to repurpose proactively. Think ubiquitous, cutting-edge. Think enterprise. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The project management factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be seamless? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and OWL. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It seems confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of development. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The cross-platform, leading-edge versioning factor is customer-defined. The process management factor is six-sigma. Think super-visionary. What does the standard industry term "convergence" really mean? It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our fractal, interactive, cross-media C2C but our capacity to mesh. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge.