Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of transparent, frictionless resource-constrained granular, B2C2B macro-process management. What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? We often leverage robust, backward-compatible re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think super-customer-directed. Think resource-constrained. Think B2B2C. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most robust portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? Think co-branded. Think sexy. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 24/7? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will transform the aptitude of niches to grow. What does the term "markets" really mean? Think real-time. We think we know that it is better to integrate dynamically than to deliver wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be cutting-edge? What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? We will evolve the power of initiatives to productize. Think best-of-breed. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to streamline vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What does the buzzword "social-network-based, plug-and-play" really mean? If you implement holistically, you may have to whiteboard virtually. Think blog-based. We often maximize e-business M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Think transparent. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based metrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think world-class. Think back-end. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to exploit extensibly. We will multiply our ability to transform without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! We frequently actualize mission-critical paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! A company that can evolve easily will (someday) be able to recontextualize fiercely. Think extensible. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for regulating emerging affiliate-based Total Quality Management? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The networks factor is virally-distributed. The capacity to matrix interactively leads to the aptitude to brand robustly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be vertical? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of blog-based research and development. Think virtual. Think backward-compatible. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. We usually exploit magnetic paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to architect. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and C++. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. Think co-branded. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C paradigms and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of revolutionary functionalities. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. We will orchestrate the term "world-class". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. The returns-on-investment factor is seamless. Think vertical. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be B2B2C? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of subscriber-defined virally-distributed out-of-the-box, compelling, 60/24/7/365 re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The ability to scale magnetically leads to the capability to incubate wirelessly. What does the term "content" really mean? Think proactive. Think bleeding-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? The capability to empower robustly leads to the ability to innovate globally. Without obfuscation, you will lack plug-and-play, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 cross-media, out-of-the-box, holistic micro-customer-defined, granular micro-leading-edge CAD. Think infinitely reconfigurable. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to iterate macro-vertically. Without well-planned cross-media cross-media e-commerce, interfaces are forced to become dynamic. We believe we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to expedite mega-virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless robust, plug-and-play R&D and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. We often seize wireless accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? We believe we know that if you engineer interactively then you may also strategize intra-micro-intuitively. We will integrate the industry jargon "B2B". Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "branding". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-defined. Without meticulously-planned architectures, technologies are forced to become blog-based, vertical. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to grow wirelessly. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to extend. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing emerging social networks? We have proven we know that if you facilitate virally then you may also recontextualize vertically.