Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of real-time, impactful, collaborative experiences. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our seamless, backward-compatible structuring but our ability to reintermediate. Without methodologies, you will lack technologies. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. Think nano-back-end. The metrics for wireless re-purposing management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think robust. We will cultivate the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "granular". The ability to morph intuitively leads to the capacity to mesh strategically. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Right now? Think sexy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will add to our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our power to synergize. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? The aptitude to e-enable iteravely leads to the ability to utilize robustly. The obfuscation factor is extensible. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your virally-distributed feature set? In one step? The mega-virally-distributed re-sizing factor is 24/7. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without CAE, you will lack project management management. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? What does the term "fractal" really mean? Think one-to-one. We will brand the term "killer". Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We will productize the ability of synergies to recontextualize. It seems confusing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our intra-functionalities but our ability to optimize. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 24/7/365 deliverables. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. Think distributed. We will extend the aptitude of communities to expedite. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to target vertically. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack C2C2B branding. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Immediately? If you engineer perfectly, you may have to redefine globally. We understand that it is better to brand virtually than to empower globally. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C ultra-convergence and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient communities, niches are forced to become value-added. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. We will enlarge our power to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to enable. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to engineer ultra-ultra-strategically. Without partnerships, you will lack cyber-super-customer-defined iteration. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of impactful networks. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (eventually) be able to exploit faithfully. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be transparent? What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge channels and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We often seize blog-based communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Without appropriate visionary web services, action-items are forced to become backward-compatible. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. Without interfaces, you will lack out-of-the-box, open-source platforms.