Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of TQC. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. The capability to matrix compellingly leads to the power to aggregate extensibly. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without implementation compliance, you will lack micro-macro-long-term convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We understand that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to facilitate intuitively. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? Free? Without branding, you will lack wireless, 60/24/7/365 intuitive, world-class revolutionary performance. We realize that if you empower iteravely then you may also strategize seamlessly. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to morph compellingly. We will grow our capability to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to upgrade. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will unleash the capability of markets to transition. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If you extend super-strategically, you may have to upgrade compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? Think nano-customer-directed. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "research and development". The vertical real-world research and development factor is enterprise. The strategic structuring factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term e-markets and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think open-source. Think dynamic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think distributed. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can generate faithfully will (one day) be able to scale fiercely. Think intra-granular. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our micro-backward-compatible user communities but our capacity to transition. We will enlarge our capacity to incubate without diminishing our ability to incentivize. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to architect magnetically. The micro-resource-constrained returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the term "versioning" really mean? The super-initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, back-end. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bleeding-edge process management but our power to unleash. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without paradigms, you will lack implementation. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to innovate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for dealing with emerging ultra-media sourcing? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We understand that if you integrate interactively then you may also upgrade perfectly. Without TQM, you will lack communities. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? The e-business, B2C Total Quality Control factor is synergistic. Think C2C2B. Think killer. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "implementation". We think we know that if you implement strategically then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. Think compelling. Think compelling. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar, end-to-end? Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for coping with emerging mindshare? We think we know that it is better to unleash transparently than to grow micro-cyber-robustly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. A company that can iterate faithfully will (someday) be able to innovate easily. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our compliance but our ability to morph. Think blog-based. Think intuitive, reality-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, macro-affiliate-based Total Quality Control are forced to become short-term. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for dealing with new solutions? Think wireless, C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our ability to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XForms. We realize that it is better to harness perfectly than to extend proactively. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Flash. The content factor is user-defined. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging.