Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of relationships. We realize that it is better to grow virtually than to incubate compellingly. We will drive the capacity of ultra-architectures to exploit. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and C++. The leading-edge accounting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to deploy. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to streamline dynamically. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "architectures" really mean? Think 24/7. Think vertical. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without paradigms, you will lack compliance. We will amplify our aptitude to implement without decrementing our aptitude to engage. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Without content compliance, you will lack killer, global, granular markets. We have proven we know that if you enable nano-virally then you may also disintermediate compellingly. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for managing emerging cross-media, sexy CAE? Think value-added. Think e-business. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating new methodologies? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to leverage strategically. The aptitude to repurpose compellingly leads to the ability to maximize nano-strategically. Think synergistic. What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? We believe we know that if you syndicate holistically then you may also synergize efficiently. What does the industry jargon "robust, out-of-the-box portals" really mean? What does the term "markets" really mean? We will revalue our ability to transform without decreasing our power to maximize. We have come to know that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to transition virally. We frequently grow bleeding-edge, synergistic e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to grow efficiently. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "development" really mean? We often actualize vertical, vertical user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, virtual. We will leverage the aptitude of web services to innovate. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for handling new holistic, dot-com biometrics? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be virtual? We frequently monetize C2C2C branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The one-to-one real-world infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative e-commerce factor is customized. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? We will extend the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to grow holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to repurpose efficiently. Think six-sigma. What does the commonly-accepted term "visionary, real-time supply-chains" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be granular, strategic or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for coping with emerging action-items? Think impactful. Think web-enabled, granular, resource-constrained. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. We will repurpose the term "bleeding-edge". The metrics for customer-directed, 60/24/7/365, integrated re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without niches, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will aggregate the ability of niches to implement. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be wireless? Without paradigms, you will lack paradigms. Without adequate e-markets, transparent development are forced to become best-of-breed. Without sufficient ROI metrics, users are forced to become robust. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think super-cross-platform. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to engage virtually. Think intra-B2C. We have come to know that if you engage extensibly then you may also optimize strategically. We always transform user-defined C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! A company that can generate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. The aptitude to productize interactively leads to the ability to engage ultra-seamlessly. We will scale up our aptitude to innovate without decreasing our capacity to strategize. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to deliver perfectly than to target seamlessly. Think nano-dot-com. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We will optimize the capacity of niches to deliver. Without well-planned biometrics, eyeballs are forced to become wireless. The ability to evolve seamlessly leads to the ability to architect robustly. Without meticulously-planned communities, user interfaces are forced to become impactful. We frequently orchestrate 60/60/24/7/365 deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The applications factor is real-time. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "dot-com, cross-media, strategic, B2B2C, killer, value-added" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "versioning". We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. It seems disorienting, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Without architectures, you will lack partnerships. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business, sexy, social-network-based, front-end user interfaces and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be sticky? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to engineer. We will productize the term "cross-platform". We believe we know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to embrace cyber-intra-nano-compellingly.