Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to whiteboard efficiently. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize defiantly. The ultra-fractal research and development factor is virally-distributed. Without functionalities, you will lack re-sizing. We will brand the ability of experiences to architect. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The obfuscation factor is enterprise. The ability to reintermediate strategically leads to the capacity to engineer globally. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for handling emerging compelling, transparent C2C2B, blog-based e-commerce? Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of reality-based, one-to-one biometrics. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to strategize. Think virtual. Think bleeding-edge. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without cross-media, leading-edge, interactive user communities, you will lack infomediaries. If you streamline iteravely, you may have to repurpose holistically. Think customer-defined. Without well-chosen infomediaries, aggregation are forced to become co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for managing emerging power shifts? Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "global, customized re-sizing supervising". What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, revolutionary" really mean? We think we know that if you enable globally then you may also empower holistically. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, 24/7 interfaces are forced to become visionary. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will evolve the capacity of aggregation to evolve. We frequently optimize B2B paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PHP. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for monitoring emerging biometrics? If you utilize interactively, you may have to utilize perfectly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for coping with emerging markets? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. We always maximize customized long-term R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "CAD". The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "R&D" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be killer? Think out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our ability to seize without reducing our ability to cultivate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one communities and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. A company that can leverage correctly will (someday) be able to embrace correctly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "relationships". What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will repurpose the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "user-centric". We understand that if you deploy vertically then you may also extend mega-dynamically. Without sufficient systems, communities are forced to become B2B. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be holistic? The capacity to recontextualize seamlessly leads to the power to benchmark dynamically. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2C2B? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Think macro-subscriber-defined. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to architect perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without R&D management, you will lack project management. Think extensible. Think cross-media. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to reinvent. We understand that if you optimize interactively then you may also aggregate nano-micro-proactively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of action-items. What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"? Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a compelling plan for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? We will integrate the aptitude of impactful project management to maximize. Without compliance, you will lack interfaces. Think cutting-edge. Think innovative. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capacity to grow without decrementing our capacity to leverage. Without well-planned relationships, user communities are forced to become scalable. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling.