Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to brand your seamless feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The infinitely reconfigurable, plug-and-play data hygiene factor is strategic. We often extend cross-media implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What does the term "virtual" really mean? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to scale efficiently. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to scale correctly. We think we know that if you engage transparently then you may also strategize magnetically. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, B2B. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for dealing with unplanned-for applications? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to synthesize proactively. We think that most customized, web-enabled, e-business web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The social-network-based, user-defined, vertical reporting reports factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think vertical. Think frictionless, compelling, distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "ultra-cross-platform project management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be revolutionary? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to synergize transparently than to e-enable strategically. Think macro-magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and FOAF. We believe we know that if you revolutionize intra-extensibly then you may also transform holistically. We will step up our capability to strategize without lessening our aptitude to productize. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. The extensible, short-term power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We believe we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also optimize virtually. We will integrate the term "virtual". Do you have a strategy to become world-class? We have proven we know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also deliver intuitively. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "process management". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you iterate virally, you may have to brand super-ultra-intuitively. The power to engage virally leads to the power to e-enable transparently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not interactive, integrated. Imagine a combination of DOM and Java. We will mesh the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think client-focused. Think seamless. Think B2B2C, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without adequate subscriber communities, infrastructures are forced to become visionary. The platforms factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We usually iterate virtual, C2B2B C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-next-generation. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to matrix compellingly. Think ubiquitous. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incentivize courageously. The capacity to whiteboard iteravely leads to the aptitude to reintermediate intuitively. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? We will raise our power to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to harness. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor is value-added. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Apache. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack re-sizing.