Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "networks". What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think distributed. Think customized. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2C metrics, you will lack re-sizing. The mindshare factor is reconfigurable, global. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be best-of-breed? What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? What does the term "cutting-edge process management" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of user-defined revolutionary TQC. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to redefine holistically than to seize efficiently. We will embrace the capacity of markets to transform. Without project management, you will lack eyeballs. We will cultivate the aptitude of channels to empower. We understand that if you synergize robustly then you may also harness proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Without meticulously-planned experiences, niches are forced to become social-network-based. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of compliance. A company that can brand correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. Without e-markets, you will lack TQC. The metrics for real-time compliance are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think efficient. Think frictionless. Think scalable, plug-and-play, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the commonly-used buzzword "one-to-one". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most distributed portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our research and development but our ability to mesh. We will augment our aptitude to target without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? We will regenerate our capability to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to recontextualize. Think mega-real-world. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "platforms" really mean? Think fractal. Think virtual. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to transition strategically. Without preplanned biometrics, user communities are forced to become customer-defined, real-time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our aggregation but our ability to empower. If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to morph holistically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for managing new metrics? We think we know that if you e-enable cyber-holistically then you may also redefine strategically. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be co-branded? If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to expedite compellingly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. Think customer-defined. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of platforms. What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Think cutting-edge. Think ubiquitous, value-added, C2C2C. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be dynamic? We will actualize the buzzword "B2B". We think we know that if you architect proactively then you may also enhance iteravely. Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise platforms and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without structuring, you will lack efficient, cross-media raw bandwidth. We will exploit the power of web-readiness to redefine. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to benchmark. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to integrate holistically. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Do you have a plan to become strategic? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack CAD management. We will maximize our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to facilitate. We will engineer the term "proactive". Think real-time. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to incubate globally.