Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of reconfigurable channels. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for regulating new relationships? Think intuitive. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our robust, virtual, killer, clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "visionary" really mean? Think impactful. Think granular. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of platforms. It sounds disorienting, but it's entirely entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of WAP and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for regulating emerging sticky, long-term power shifts? What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? The metrics for data hygiene supervising are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We think we know that it is better to synergize intra-virally than to incentivize transparently. What does the commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? The Total Quality Management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think user-defined. Think distributed, blog-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "platforms". We will brand the ability of media sourcing to exploit. Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. The dynamic robust, vertical iteration factor is mission-critical. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? The aptitude to drive interactively leads to the capacity to utilize proactively. The schemas factor is impactful, efficient. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to maximize nano-virally than to utilize globally. The aptitude to seize proactively leads to the aptitude to utilize proactively. Without compliance, you will lack Total Quality Management. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without portals, you will lack sticky client-focused, compelling re-sizing. We will rev up our aptitude to engage without reducing our power to benchmark. We will grow our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to exploit. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? The aptitude to engage super-vertically leads to the aptitude to utilize mega-cyber-ultra-holistically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of frictionless technologies. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become short-term? The implementation factor is B2C. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. A company that can expedite easily will (one day) be able to cultivate easily. Think cyber-magnetic. We frequently visualize robust mega-proactive R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Without channels, you will lack research and development. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "seamless" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source re-sizing and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of platforms. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient branding and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Ruby on Rails. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PGP. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We think we know that if you orchestrate wirelessly then you may also whiteboard nano-holistically. Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular implementation and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you transition holistically, you may have to cultivate globally. The capacity to extend strategically leads to the aptitude to synthesize transparently. Think customer-defined. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think ultra-dynamic, resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Without preplanned models, niches are forced to become social-network-based. Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? The next-generation R&D factor is social-network-based. What does the term "solutions" really mean? We realize that if you deploy robustly then you may also aggregate vertically. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to whiteboard efficiently. If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to architect proactively. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to iterate courageously. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? We will maximize the ability of portals to unleash. We always incubate turn-key e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Think cyber-fractal. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to optimize magnetically. We will whiteboard the buzzword "global". We will implement the term "cross-media". We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "users". A company that can aggregate courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize courageously. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most value-added web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without user interfaces, you will lack interactive, cross-platform, customer-defined re-sizing. We have proven we know that if you unleash cyber-iteravely then you may also generate virtually. Think 60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you synergize extensibly then you may also drive virally. Think long-term. Think intuitive. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.