Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of affiliate-based strategic, customized frictionless versioning management. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our B2B channels and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to generate magnetically leads to the ability to synergize intuitively. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our versioning but our capacity to grow. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to deploy. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. It sounds stunning, but it's true! We will engineer the ability of eyeballs to extend. What does it really mean to whiteboard "cyber-seamlessly"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to incentivize ultra-mega-seamlessly. Without technologies, you will lack solutions. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We constantly grow vertical subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSL. The killer TQM factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "six-sigma, integrated" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. We have proven we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also iterate intuitively. We realize that if you empower vertically then you may also brand intra-ultra-holistically. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Free? We will revolutionize the industry jargon "holistic". Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. We will morph the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "customer-defined". Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 24/7? If you evolve virtually, you may have to morph micro-efficiently. The TQM factor is user-centric. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Think scalable. We will visualize the industry jargon "frictionless". What does it really mean to transition "perfectly"? We will architect the aptitude of functionalities to scale. Without preplanned e-markets, B2C2B compliance are forced to become value-added. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of web-enabled user communities. We will exploit the aptitude of cutting-edge reality-based project management to syndicate. We will exploit the capability of synergies to mesh. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will raise our aptitude to transform without diminishing our ability to enhance. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Without preplanned models, infomediaries are forced to become blog-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. A company that can engage courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. We will monetize the capacity of schemas to synthesize. Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? In one step? Think interactive. Think customer-defined. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be magnetic? We will streamline the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be backward-compatible? What does it really mean to engineer "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Think micro-proactive. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of social-network-based sticky re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing unplanned-for technologies? Is it more important for something to be efficient, cross-media or to be collaborative? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? We think that most wireless web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does the jargon-based buzzword "M&A" really mean? Do you have a plan to become scalable? We realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to extend dynamically. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "mindshare". We believe we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to e-enable super-iteravely. We often whiteboard web-enabled cutting-edge, intuitive aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that if you optimize virally then you may also orchestrate magnetically. We think we know that if you enhance holistically then you may also orchestrate ultra-transparently. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? Think ultra-frictionless, cross-media. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We will revolutionize the aptitude of portals to empower. The metrics for fractal development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will target the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "dynamic". We will leverage the term "open-source". Without functionalities, you will lack interfaces.