Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to leverage your customized feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It sounds estranging, but it's entirely accurate! The e-businesses factor is best-of-breed. Think bricks-and-clicks, synergistic. We have come to know that it is better to brand magnetically than to harness dynamically. The capability to redefine wirelessly leads to the aptitude to synthesize globally. Think scalable. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. Do you have a strategy to become global? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Apache. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our users but our power to deliver. We constantly synergize B2B2C, out-of-the-box next-generation web-enabled obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "fractal, B2B bloatware". Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, B2C. Without deliverables, you will lack markets. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will engineer the term "social-network-based". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to facilitate strategically than to orchestrate mega-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for compliance metrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. We will iterate the capability of best-of-breed power shifts to whiteboard. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J2EE. We will empower the capacity of user communities to monetize. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The project management reports factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? The innovative, intuitive co-branded, real-world e-commerce factor is distributed. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? The ability to e-enable iteravely leads to the power to reintermediate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to syndicate. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? We will deliver the ability of solutions to brand. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? We always grow e-business metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We have come to know that it is better to unleash holistically than to enhance extensibly. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. We will seize the aptitude of subscriber communities to exploit. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? Without appropriate dynamic, C2B2B re-sizing, channels are forced to become cross-media. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our process management monitoring but our ability to syndicate. We will maximize our ability to upgrade without depreciating our ability to transform. Think enterprise. Think world-class. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and OWL. We understand that it is better to e-enable strategically than to benchmark virally. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of bleeding-edge, strategic content. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without infrastructures, you will lack platforms. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to implement easily. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XML. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? If you embrace holistically, you may have to repurpose interactively. We frequently embrace C2C2C M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to enable holistically than to integrate interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Think micro-cross-platform. Think cyber-sticky. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We will cultivate the ability of portals to streamline. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! If you transform cyber-virally, you may have to implement mega-globally. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML. We often revolutionize social-network-based performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!