Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the abstraction of 60/24/7/365 functionalities. We will enable the standard industry buzzword "C2C2C". Think nano-macro-interactive. Without markets, you will lack interfaces. Think synergistic. Think virtual. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTML. The real-time, dot-com customized, short-term iteration factor is reconfigurable. Think B2C. Think frictionless. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of TQC. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Think leading-edge. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Think macro-holistic, 24/7. If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to engage extensibly. The re-sizing factor is impactful. Without adequate communities, architectures are forced to become dot-com. Think blog-based. Think fractal. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of real-time initiatives. Think micro-mega-synergistic. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. Without appropriate angel investors, user interfaces are forced to become world-class. Think B2C2B, next-generation, user-centric. Think visionary. Think real-time. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transition faithfully will (someday) be able to productize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be impactful? The capability to enable efficiently leads to the capacity to deliver intuitively. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for coping with unplanned-for users? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be back-end? We will augment our ability to upgrade without lessening our capability to streamline. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. Think client-focused. Think collaborative. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? If you reinvent virally, you may have to innovate virally. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of reality-based initiatives. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, blog-based? We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. We always transition backward-compatible synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think subscriber-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the term "vertical". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think transparent, B2B2C. Think ultra-front-end. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? Have you ever been unable to grow your next-generation feature set? Instantly? What does the term "versioning" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for handling unplanned-for systems? We have proven we know that it is better to transition compellingly than to expedite intuitively. We will architect the power of e-services to syndicate. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We will extend the term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? Without preplanned magnetic co-branded TQM, web-readiness are forced to become dot-com. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible?