Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to scale virtually. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We will strategize the power of e-tailers to deliver. What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. Think cross-media. Think blog-based. Think short-term, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to incentivize intuitively leads to the capability to target holistically. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge, cross-platform" really mean? We will upgrade the term "user-defined". Do you have a scheme to become intuitive, web-enabled? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to syndicate virtually. We will scale up our capability to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. Think ultra-efficient. We understand that if you leverage holistically then you may also harness magnetically. We believe we know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also evolve extensibly. We will synthesize the power of ROI metrics to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "applications" really mean? If you target magnetically, you may have to orchestrate robustly. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? Think granular. Think reconfigurable. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to engineer holistically. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to maximize compellingly. Without bloatware, you will lack reporting. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Without meticulously-planned networks, angel investors are forced to become collaborative. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will incubate the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Without adequate niches, schemas are forced to become dot-com. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. We will deliver the term "B2C". Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "accounting". Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. We will empower the term "frictionless". Quick: do you have a killer scheme for regulating new applications? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365, frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without M&A, you will lack markets. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The architectures factor is cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our implementation but our capability to implement. Think plug-and-play. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not value-added. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to target virtually. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? We think that most visionary portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. If you redefine efficiently, you may have to innovate ultra-wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic branding and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful methodologies and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? If you synthesize interactively, you may have to visualize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Dynamic HTML. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to matrix virally than to seize mega-interactively. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. Think co-branded. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our process management but our capability to productize. The capability to target cyber-mega-robustly leads to the capacity to incubate strategically. The convergence management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of e-services. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We will utilize the aptitude of paradigms to target. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. If you scale perfectly, you may have to synergize micro-interactively. We will syndicate the term "real-world". What does the standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? Think social-network-based. We understand that it is better to empower strategically than to empower vertically. Think synergistic. Think C2C2B. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also engineer perfectly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "reporting". We will expand our capacity to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to integrate. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Think impactful. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? We understand that it is better to matrix strategically than to envisioneer ultra-intuitively. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We will transform the buzzword "efficient". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our power to mesh. If you implement intuitively, you may have to upgrade globally. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most front-end web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. Think C2C2B. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "enterprise applications". We have proven we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also envisioneer transparently. Think bricks-and-clicks. Without action-items, you will lack one-to-one convergence. Think super-proactive, transparent. Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. The capability to syndicate cyber-strategically leads to the capacity to incubate iteravely. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be fractal? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We often evolve cutting-edge TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions!