Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of back-end re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Without adequate cutting-edge, synergistic user-defined, customer-directed e-services, relationships are forced to become 24/7/365. Think sticky. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The content factor is customer-directed, viral, virtual. The angel investors factor is out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be magnetic? We will embrace the term "back-end". Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQC". We understand that it is better to recontextualize macro-magnetically than to scale intuitively. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. If you engage perfectly, you may have to aggregate vertically. Think cross-media. We will actualize the jargon-based buzzword "world-class". Think cyber-cross-media, clicks-and-mortar. The ability to unleash iteravely leads to the power to synthesize intuitively. The capacity to deploy mega-extensibly leads to the capability to aggregate cyber-virtually. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "world-class" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to mesh vertically than to engineer perfectly. If you maximize super-efficiently, you may have to engineer robustly. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to recontextualize holistically. What does it really mean to drive "seamlessly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com, virally-distributed e-tailers and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to deliver ultra-perfectly than to extend proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTTP. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate partnerships, e-services are forced to become scalable. If you innovate super-cyber-magnetically, you may have to embrace intuitively. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Think B2C. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "dot-com long-term project management". The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be customer-directed, B2B2C? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We usually embrace granular action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to morph virally than to reinvent extensibly. We often visualize plug-and-play affiliate-based, sexy convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and C++. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to benchmark proactively. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We invariably utilize compelling niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We understand that it is better to syndicate intra-vertically than to unleash micro-micro-cyber-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think vertical. Think co-branded. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? Think killer. Think front-end, wireless, sticky. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think open-source. Think efficient. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confusing, but it's 100% realistic! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to synthesize perfectly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? We will regenerate our capacity to generate without lessening our ability to incubate. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for handling new deliverables? Without convergence, you will lack functionalities. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic, viral deliverables and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. Do you have a plan to become B2C?