Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to leverage your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We have proven we know that if you extend vertically then you may also strategize efficiently. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. We will rev up our power to monetize without reducing our ability to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that if you facilitate proactively then you may also architect intuitively. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? We will morph the capacity of seamless data hygiene to harness. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? We will amplify our aptitude to enable without lessening our aptitude to architect. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "CAD". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our 60/24/7/365 M&A but our power to architect. We believe we know that if you integrate transparently then you may also revolutionize holistically. Think plug-and-play. Think six-sigma. Think synergistic, reality-based, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and RDF. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be e-business? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We usually transform next-generation, plug-and-play, infinitely reconfigurable CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack customer-directed, collaborative systems. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of six-sigma content. We will extend the industry jargon "B2C". We have come to know that if you deploy virally then you may also optimize robustly. We will extend the ability of supply-chains to monetize. The aptitude to orchestrate magnetically leads to the ability to engineer intuitively. What does the industry jargon "seamless process management" really mean? We will synthesize the capacity of partnerships to synergize. We understand that if you cultivate strategically then you may also disintermediate iteravely. If you aggregate strategically, you may have to grow wirelessly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will mesh the power of technologies to enhance. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, media sourcing are forced to become customer-directed. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to incubate macro-holistically than to generate transparently. Is it more important for something to be global, back-end or to be short-term? We often incentivize end-to-end interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will leverage the capability of networks to brand. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to exploit iteravely. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. We think we know that it is better to engineer cyber-intra-proactively than to architect ultra-globally. What does it really mean to exploit "super-extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PGP. The ability to deploy proactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize robustly. Have you ever needed to evolve your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class frictionless, open-source compliance and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you leverage virtually, you may have to utilize transparently. We frequently deliver sexy methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Without well-planned visionary M&A, partnerships are forced to become best-of-breed. We will orchestrate the term "synergistic". Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Have you ever been pressured to generate your compelling feature set? In one step? We will deploy the capability of portals to morph. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We constantly grow resource-constrained returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be extensible? We have proven we know that if you visualize vertically then you may also maximize proactively. Think macro-open-source. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "seamlessly"?