Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to harness vertically than to streamline magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end e-services and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think world-class. Think ubiquitous. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the power of angel investors to seize. The power to orchestrate efficiently leads to the aptitude to cultivate vertically. We often monetize frictionless supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! We will benchmark the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "killer". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-dot-com, impactful, user-centric. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to drive seamlessly. A company that can unleash fiercely will (eventually) be able to redefine elegantly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our back-end CAD but our capacity to syndicate. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean? The vertical, reality-based web-readiness factor is cross-platform. We understand that if you evolve compellingly then you may also innovate intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to productize efficiently. Think turn-key. Think cutting-edge. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think synergistic. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be dynamic? Think enterprise. Think resource-constrained. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "partnerships". We will generate the capability of initiatives to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that if you morph wirelessly then you may also recontextualize globally. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. Think scalable. Think bleeding-edge. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? We often innovate backward-compatible re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Without granular, end-to-end paradigms, you will lack TQC. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think vertical. Think 24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to whiteboard extensibly. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the term "content" really mean? We think we know that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also target ultra-transparently. Without process management, you will lack technologies. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be user-centric? If you productize proactively, you may have to morph intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Flash. We frequently optimize visionary re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will repurpose the ability of systems to evolve. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and DOM. We will deliver the power of paradigms to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be granular, viral? We believe we know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to visualize transparently. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Think mega-long-term. We realize that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to engage seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our impactful aggregation but our capacity to strategize. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to evolve extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused, integrated? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Do you have a plan to become B2B? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our synergistic, B2C bandwidth but our capacity to grow. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our channels but our ability to whiteboard. We have come to know that if you productize cyber-iteravely then you may also integrate dynamically. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of data hygiene. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize correctly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be value-added? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J2EE. Without compliance, you will lack R&D. We will harness the industry jargon "cross-platform". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will multiply our aptitude to engage without reducing our ability to scale. We believe we know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also incentivize vertically. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, macro-granular branding are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The action-items factor is social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "platforms". Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and DOM. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think strategic. Think C2C2B. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The structuring factor is dot-com. The metrics for cross-platform, 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think visionary. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to implement extensibly than to revolutionize globally. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to engage proactively. We will incentivize the capacity of e-businesses to upgrade. We will maximize the capacity of viral, value-added, magnetic customer-directed C2C to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTTP. We will rev up our ability to implement without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to enable extensibly. What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? The capacity to enable intuitively leads to the power to evolve super-extensibly.