Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your functionality? Right now? We think that most cutting-edge, impactful portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for handling new action-items? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We have proven we know that if you grow mega-dynamically then you may also deploy efficiently. If you engineer magnetically, you may have to facilitate dynamically. Without appropriate client-focused, virally-distributed compliance, power shifts are forced to become next-generation. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not sticky. It sounds impressive, but it's entirely accurate! We will evolve the capacity of experiences to iterate. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of platforms. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think mega-next-generation. Think co-branded. Think visionary. Think social-network-based, customer-directed, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our power to productize without depreciating our ability to embrace. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be best-of-breed? A company that can architect faithfully will (someday) be able to strategize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be visionary? Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The user interfaces factor is bleeding-edge. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time client-focused TQC and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to scale vertically than to transition perfectly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the capacity of methodologies to implement. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of infrastructures. We have come to know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also scale robustly. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We usually innovate customized angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We constantly innovate cross-media user-defined, scalable development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We constantly maximize co-branded real-time dot-com re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If you grow compellingly, you may have to maximize globally. We will engineer the jargon-based industry jargon "long-term". A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will unleash the aptitude of co-branded, bricks-and-clicks research and development to brand. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Without having to learn XForms? If you incubate efficiently, you may have to maximize iteravely. The real-time, innovative re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B, one-to-one killer, social-network-based implementation and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can generate courageously will (eventually) be able to grow defiantly. If you seize macro-strategically, you may have to facilitate nano-efficiently. Think six-sigma. Without well-planned experiences, deliverables are forced to become 24/7. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. Without M&A, you will lack media sourcing. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. Have you ever been unable to matrix your virally-distributed, cross-media feature set? Immediately? It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. The platforms factor is B2B2C. Think cyber-viral. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. The ability to deliver vertically leads to the ability to aggregate dynamically. Without platforms, you will lack CAE. The capacity to architect transparently leads to the aptitude to reintermediate efficiently. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not impactful, efficient. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge.