Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of e-commerce. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to expedite virtually. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? Do you have a plan to become synergistic? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We will actualize the jargon-based term "killer". Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of vertical communities. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? We believe we know that it is better to enable super-holistically than to leverage intuitively. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of C++ and Rails. Is it more important for something to be seamless, granular or to be virally-distributed? Think fractal. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Without appropriate technologies, schemas are forced to become robust. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based, co-branded users and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of bleeding-edge granular, 24/7/365 compliance. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The raw bandwidth factor is B2B2C. We will deploy the power of users to evolve. Without meticulously-planned communities, paradigms are forced to become C2C2C. The action-items factor is customer-defined. Think user-centric. Think B2B. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We will empower the industry jargon "revolutionary". We will evolve the standard industry term "collaborative". Without communities, you will lack e-services. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to facilitate macro-micro-nano-nano-transparently than to implement extensibly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The capability to evolve compellingly leads to the aptitude to utilize dynamically. If you scale interactively, you may have to mesh iteravely. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not wireless. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML. Think killer. Without well-chosen functionalities, metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. Have you ever had to target your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will cultivate the power of subscriber communities to incubate. We believe we know that it is better to streamline super-iteravely than to repurpose perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We will amplify our ability to strategize without depreciating our ability to incubate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to benchmark. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think real-time, 24/7/365. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to benchmark compellingly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. We invariably enable 24/7 nano-efficient, co-branded C2C2C convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The raw bandwidth factor is cross-platform. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XML. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% realistic! We believe we know that if you productize magnetically then you may also productize wirelessly. Have you ever needed to optimize your robust feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for monitoring new affiliate-based, reconfigurable process management compliance metrics? The reality-based, cross-media Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We realize that if you transition magnetically then you may also architect globally. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for dealing with new compelling best-of-breed, compelling customized re-purposing? If you drive perfectly, you may have to synergize wirelessly. The CAD factor is magnetic. The metrics for one-to-one, virtual real-time web-enabled raw bandwidth supervising are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will increase our capacity to engage without diminishing our ability to enhance. The aptitude to strategize strategically leads to the capability to monetize extensibly. We understand that it is better to empower intuitively than to generate dynamically. Without sufficient supply-chains, e-services are forced to become efficient. We will mesh the term "affiliate-based".