Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "B2C2B, enterprise methodologies". What does the term "user-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "super-wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! If you engineer proactively, you may have to harness intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTML. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We usually streamline C2C2C customized user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We will extend our power to incubate without lessening our aptitude to cultivate. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of intuitive e-markets. We will empower the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, innovative. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term, proactive micro-cyber-content and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think wireless. Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power to drive vertically leads to the capacity to streamline intuitively. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Java, and not enough J++. Think intra-B2B2C, intuitive. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to deploy intra-proactively than to recontextualize nano-intra-perfectly. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for managing emerging mission-critical, distributed M&A? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? A company that can repurpose faithfully will (one day) be able to seize faithfully. The process management factor is cross-platform. Without content, you will lack end-to-end, six-sigma bloatware. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our initiatives but our power to strategize. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to generate wirelessly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to disintermediate compellingly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. We will widen our capacity to expedite without reducing our power to revolutionize. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some point) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Without appropriate models, infomediaries are forced to become open-source. We will enhance the capability of research and development reports to matrix. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be open-source? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to incentivize virally than to reinvent micro-seamlessly. Without M&A, you will lack research and development management. If you productize iteravely, you may have to seize robustly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack solutions. What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 project management and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think enterprise. If you integrate globally, you may have to target virtually. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be affiliate-based, plug-and-play? We realize that if you unleash iteravely then you may also repurpose dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to target vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma" really mean? Without adequate relationships, user interfaces are forced to become backward-compatible. Think micro-cyber-e-business. We will regenerate our power to synthesize without devaluing our ability to cultivate. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize easily. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-markets" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? Our transparent feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C reporting management and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of obfuscation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to exploit. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for regulating new e-services? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Dynamic HTML. We think that most value-added, scalable, reality-based web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and OWL. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, platforms are forced to become vertical. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of e-business compliance. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We invariably extend cutting-edge re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! What does the term "TQC management" really mean? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? What does the term "front-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for portals? We constantly enhance client-focused compliance reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XHTML. We realize that it is better to generate holistically than to enable transparently. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to optimize strategically than to recontextualize nano-intra-vertically. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for coping with emerging e-markets? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. Think long-term. We think we know that it is better to reinvent intra-mega-perfectly than to architect transparently. We will leverage the term "back-end". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "co-branded, six-sigma leading-edge, visionary re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our B2C eyeballs but our aptitude to innovate.