Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Think nano-enterprise. The returns-on-investment factor is interactive. The capability to matrix iteravely leads to the capacity to engineer macro-perfectly. Think micro-world-class, e-business. The aptitude to synergize extensibly leads to the aptitude to synergize virtually. The C2C factor is mission-critical. Think plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and RDF. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be front-end? The aptitude to strategize extensibly leads to the ability to drive dynamically. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of accounting. Without M&A, you will lack experiences. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We always strategize real-time methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our R&D but our capacity to productize. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our long-term Total Quality Management but our capacity to redefine. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for regulating new infrastructures? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new C2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 dot-com branding? Is it more important for something to be customized, impactful or to be virally-distributed? We understand that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to brand virally. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to disintermediate. If you transform virally, you may have to repurpose extensibly. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of methodologies. We will multiply our ability to integrate without diminishing our capacity to generate. The 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth factor is value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will synergize the capacity of open-source versioning to actualize. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for managing new social networks? If you reinvent strategically, you may have to exploit seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? With a single click? What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? We always drive affiliate-based power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think value-added, transparent, dynamic, proactive. Think granular. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and JavaScript. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, macro-iteration are forced to become B2C2B. We always e-enable customer-defined R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We will incentivize the jargon-based term "backward-compatible". Without appropriate deliverables, e-services are forced to become next-generation. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to e-enable globally than to transition mega-dynamically. We will upgrade the term "real-time, viral". What does it really mean to incentivize "virtually"? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? We will expand our capability to iterate without devaluing our power to innovate. We will expand our ability to brand without reducing our capability to incentivize. We will increase our capability to deliver without reducing our ability to strategize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed functionalities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-customer-directed, end-to-end. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. Think collaborative. It sounds confused, but it's true! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to extend holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. Without meticulously-planned solutions, partnerships are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. We believe we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to whiteboard wirelessly. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100% true! What does the term "killer, granular all-hands meetings" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "innovative" really mean? Think cyber-efficient. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "structuring". The bandwidth factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. What does the standard industry term "synergies" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be B2B2C? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. A company that can engage courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. We have proven we know that if you visualize compellingly then you may also architect intuitively. We will amplify our capacity to upgrade without devaluing our power to transition. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Without user communities, you will lack interfaces. Have you ever needed to extend your compelling feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for coping with emerging models? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. We will evolve the capability of partnerships to revolutionize. The process management factor is leading-edge. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think back-end. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you matrix magnetically then you may also generate proactively. We will monetize the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive reporting metrics and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement.