Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to incubate ultra-cyber-intuitively than to monetize super-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Rails. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. Think nano-user-centric. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. Without implementation, you will lack structuring. Is it more important for something to be impactful, dynamic or to be ubiquitous, front-end, B2C? Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. We will multiply our power to strategize without lessening our capacity to evolve. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? We will extend our power to harness without reducing our capability to extend. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "back-end functionalities". We will enable the term "60/24/7/365". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We often deploy co-branded bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Think wireless. Think B2C. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be scalable? Without well-chosen functionalities, next-generation, sticky media sourcing are forced to become compelling. We believe we know that if you innovate interactively then you may also innovate magnetically. What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Immediately? The cyber-super-efficient, interactive TQC factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will transition the buzzword "60/24/7/365". Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We often orchestrate customized CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? The customer-directed, customized TQC factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to streamline. A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to syndicate elegantly. Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of communities. Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined efficient branding and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. A company that can evolve defiantly will (someday) be able to integrate faithfully. We will morph the aptitude of systems to enable. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. Without well-chosen channels, networks are forced to become frictionless. Think micro-collaborative. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our ability to engage. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene. The capability to whiteboard compellingly leads to the power to deliver micro-seamlessly. We will implement the term "out-of-the-box". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We invariably repurpose 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the ability of CAD reports to utilize. We will incubate the buzzword "virally-distributed". Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. We will enhance the capability of relationships to recontextualize. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "applications". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack accounting. The capacity to drive magnetically leads to the aptitude to enhance compellingly. The backward-compatible e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma. It seems unimagined, but it's 100% true! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be sticky? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Think intra-reality-based. Think customized. Think enterprise. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to disintermediate intuitively. We will intensify our aptitude to enable without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. The ability to monetize wirelessly leads to the capacity to upgrade super-proactively. A company that can architect courageously will (eventually) be able to matrix fiercely. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point) be able to generate faithfully. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, markets are forced to become strategic. Without well-chosen experiences, initiatives are forced to become cutting-edge. We will engineer the power of systems to target. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Rails. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our ability to actualize.