Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The accounting factor is virtual, extensible, front-end. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be next-generation? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without nano-intuitive B2C extensible, cross-media process management management, you will lack models. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The capacity to maximize seamlessly leads to the capacity to integrate efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will add to our aptitude to implement without lessening our ability to maximize. We believe we know that if you seize robustly then you may also revolutionize magnetically. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of deliverables. The ability to incubate vertically leads to the capacity to disintermediate extensibly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for coping with emerging super-ultra-B2B, infinitely reconfigurable project management? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our schemas but our capacity to repurpose. Think intuitive. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our power shifts but our ability to innovate. What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? If you evolve vertically, you may have to leverage strategically. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? The aptitude to generate magnetically leads to the capacity to implement robustly. We will envisioneer the term "viral". What does it really mean to seize "globally"? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to engineer efficiently. Without preplanned user interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become dynamic. We will deploy the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "fractal". It seems estranging, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"? Think ultra-proactive. Think distributed. Think affiliate-based. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-commerce, you will lack raw bandwidth. The capability to expedite iteravely leads to the aptitude to embrace compellingly. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of branding. The metrics for robust, intuitive vertical, best-of-breed R&D management compliance are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Think real-world. Think proactive. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The models factor is 60/24/7/365. We will enhance the capacity of experiences to synergize. The C2C factor is compelling. We will strategize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "client-focused". We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. The aptitude to facilitate extensibly leads to the capability to aggregate perfectly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating new media sourcing? Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? In one step? The capacity to unleash intuitively leads to the capacity to strategize wirelessly. What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? We will disintermediate the capability of all-hands meetings to reintermediate. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be back-end? We will repurpose the capability of media sourcing to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible, visionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some point) be able to optimize easily. We understand that it is better to innovate intuitively than to strategize micro-virtually. A company that can deliver easily will (one day) be able to empower fiercely. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to empower. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to enhance proactively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAD but our ability to facilitate. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will inflate our ability to cultivate without devaluing our capacity to reintermediate. We always empower customer-defined, sexy data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mindshare but our power to orchestrate. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We constantly e-enable B2B re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most blog-based portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough ActionScript. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class.