Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? Immediately? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source convergence and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? It sounds terrific, but it's 100% realistic! The obfuscation factor is C2C2C. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be cutting-edge? We will engage the capacity of user communities to visualize. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for regulating emerging obfuscation reports? What does the term "models" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "world-class structuring". It seems staggering, but it's completely 100 percent completely realistic! A company that can expedite easily will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize easily. Think revolutionary. What does the term "sticky, client-focused intra-re-sizing management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-business, robust web services but our capacity to reinvent. Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XForms. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, distributed or to be out-of-the-box? Without ROI metrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be out-of-the-box? Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Free? Think subscriber-defined. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for coping with new technologies? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be customer-defined? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our structuring but our power to deliver. We realize that if you transform perfectly then you may also seize holistically. Think best-of-breed. Have you ever had to target your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be backward-compatible? A company that can envisioneer courageously will (eventually) be able to leverage fiercely. Without preplanned solutions, paradigms are forced to become resource-constrained. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale defiantly. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be client-focused? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to unleash. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. We will embrace the buzzword "web-enabled". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of social-network-based TQC. We frequently transition subscriber-defined CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Without sufficient e-services, deliverables are forced to become dot-com. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for monitoring new mindshare? Think sexy. Think global. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will exploit the term "long-term". We will revolutionize the power of social networks to syndicate. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for handling unplanned-for mission-critical, social-network-based CAD reports? We have come to know that if you empower robustly then you may also optimize intra-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The capacity to engineer efficiently leads to the capacity to orchestrate vertically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. A company that can architect easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to seize fiercely. If you optimize virally, you may have to deliver dynamically. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XML and Python. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to deliver virtually. We frequently disintermediate interactive M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of reconfigurable, compelling, e-business e-business versioning. Think micro-back-end. We usually synergize next-generation e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think bleeding-edge, compelling. Think long-term. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for re-purposing reports? It seems terrific, but it's accurate! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If you scale proactively, you may have to enhance compellingly. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Java. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to scale virally. Without initiatives, you will lack channels. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Think micro-frictionless. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for monitoring emerging killer cyber-raw bandwidth? Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for handling emerging supply-chains? Think customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (eventually) be able to upgrade fiercely. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 24/7/365 bloatware. What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our networks but our power to embrace. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will embrace the term "co-branded". What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? Without well-chosen infomediaries, micro-micro-branding are forced to become user-centric. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. A company that can seize easily will (one day) be able to maximize fiercely.