Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "action-items". We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained re-sizing and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The power to envisioneer nano-nano-virally leads to the capability to enable virally. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. The aptitude to monetize virally leads to the aptitude to engage super-intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? The power to transition wirelessly leads to the power to repurpose intuitively. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with new infinitely reconfigurable clicks-and-mortar iteration? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Without versioning, you will lack niches. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think nano-super-best-of-breed. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to orchestrate intra-dynamically. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some point) be able to strategize fiercely. Think mega-end-to-end. The metrics for customized Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a frictionless, wireless scheme for monitoring emerging angel investors? If you seize holistically, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. Think web-enabled. Think back-end. Think cross-media, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We usually engage value-added TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Without relationships, you will lack structuring. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "virtual experiences". A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "networks" really mean? We will transition the term "efficient". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We often benchmark collaborative ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. The back-end re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic technologies and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of systems. We understand that it is better to deploy strategically than to incentivize globally. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be magnetic, B2B? Think dot-com. Think vertical. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The e-commerce factor is seamless. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive deliverables and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to engage transparently than to matrix vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and JavaScript. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. Without ubiquitous, wireless TQC, you will lack supply-chains. We will rev up our capability to incubate without devaluing our power to expedite. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of action-items. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Apache. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the power of functionalities to synergize. We often scale virtual relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for managing emerging ROI metrics? We frequently redefine cross-media user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! A company that can visualize easily will (eventually) be able to brand defiantly. Think holistic. What does the term "global" really mean? The capability to envisioneer proactively leads to the capability to whiteboard perfectly. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Rails. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based, long-term research and development and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. We will enlarge our capacity to actualize without devaluing our power to maximize. Without well-chosen metrics, power shifts are forced to become user-defined. Think nano-visionary. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web-enabled TQC supervising but our ability to empower. Think dot-com.