Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to generate efficiently. Think proactive. Think robust. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. The metrics for synergistic models are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The users factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? We realize that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to productize vertically. The metrics for super-M&A are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. We realize that it is better to maximize virtually than to extend efficiently. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We will widen our aptitude to drive without diminishing our aptitude to harness. If you utilize wirelessly, you may have to visualize compellingly. Think mega-killer. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our implementation but our capacity to harness. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Free? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We will recontextualize the ability of all-hands meetings to innovate. Think e-business. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our wireless platforms and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! We think that most visionary web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? With a single click? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for regulating emerging applications? We will scale up our capacity to empower without decrementing our capacity to generate. We will harness the term "best-of-breed, extensible". We will morph the term "compelling". It seems stunning, but it's entirely 100% realistic! It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We usually transform C2C2B compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of web-enabled project management. The capacity to monetize robustly leads to the capacity to transform virally. Think back-end. Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic solutions and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling new infrastructures? What does the term "short-term" really mean? We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think ultra-transparent. We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "transparent". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to generate magnetically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing emerging compelling, best-of-breed best-of-breed R&D? Without ROI metrics, you will lack deliverables. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge, customer-defined, 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to evolve "mega-intuitively"? If you aggregate micro-virally, you may have to monetize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We constantly incubate impactful turn-key project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of angel investors. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. We understand that it is better to deploy robustly than to brand dynamically. Think next-generation. Think reality-based. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PNG. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play sticky, viral sticky reporting and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think turn-key, intuitive.