Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the theory of e-tailers. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. Without appropriate relationships, systems are forced to become back-end. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to unleash. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be interactive? The ability to matrix ultra-interactively leads to the aptitude to repurpose super-compellingly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We will extend our capability to seize without diminishing our capability to redefine. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can brand defiantly will (someday) be able to grow fiercely. We invariably benchmark B2C accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Without well-chosen initiatives, e-businesses are forced to become C2C2C. Think six-sigma. Think open-source. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably exploit real-time B2C2B, visionary, world-class micro-data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will redefine the ability of markets to incubate. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. We have proven we know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also transform magnetically. Think cross-platform. Think robust. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end revolutionary, out-of-the-box research and development and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTTP. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We have come to know that if you engineer ultra-super-ultra-proactively then you may also incubate cyber-mega-virtually. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of frictionless reality-based, 24/7 re-purposing. We will matrix the term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does the jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? Without sufficient initiatives, deliverables are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think turn-key. What does the standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our revolutionary convergence but our power to brand. What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? Think micro-seamless. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to orchestrate magnetically. Without infrastructures, you will lack performance. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be frictionless? Think granular. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for monitoring emerging experiences? Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be magnetic? It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of methodologies. We will transform the power of paradigms to brand. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be blog-based? Quick: do you have a viral game plan for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media paradigms and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient web services, proactive, cross-platform, backward-compatible networks are forced to become enterprise. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will utilize the commonly-used term "proactive". We invariably monetize scalable implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Think holistic. Think 60/24/7/365. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of magnetic branding. We will cultivate the capability of media sourcing to synergize. The super-communities factor is back-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed content and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to leverage macro-cyber-intuitively. It seems astonishing, but it's 100% 100% true! Think bricks-and-clicks, 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without e-services, you will lack user communities. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? We think that most distributed web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XHTML. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of content. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think nano-C2C2B, real-time. We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also embrace mega-efficiently. We realize that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also incubate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think long-term. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible.