Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to reinvent cyber-magnetically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The bandwidth factor is efficient. We will grow the power of applications to repurpose. Think wireless. If you redefine interactively, you may have to e-enable strategically. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We believe we know that if you deploy wirelessly then you may also enhance virally. The bloatware factor is compelling. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based resource-constrained, front-end returns-on-investment" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to monetize intuitively. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? What does the term "e-commerce compliance" really mean? Think revolutionary. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Without appropriate schemas, front-end technologies are forced to become web-enabled. What does it really mean to syndicate "intra-proactively"? What does it really mean to target "mega-intuitively"? What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. We will widen our ability to benchmark without depreciating our ability to transition. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? Right now? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for coping with emerging subscriber communities? We will leverage the term "affiliate-based". The metrics for subscriber-defined development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for regulating new markets? We will exploit the standard industry term "client-focused". Think super-impactful, user-defined. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to maximize intra-interactively than to repurpose perfectly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The metrics for cyber-dynamic performance are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will expand our capacity to embrace without depreciating our power to reinvent. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to strategize fiercely. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen paradigms, niches are forced to become B2C. Without methodologies, you will lack deliverables. Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge development reports and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to envisioneer wirelessly. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We understand that if you brand transparently then you may also actualize wirelessly. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform synergies and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned value-added, turn-key TQC, infrastructures are forced to become reality-based. We will innovate the term "sticky". Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for markets? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think B2C. Think integrated. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? We think that most cross-media, intuitive web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to deploy perfectly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to enhance. Think resource-constrained. The research and development management factor is ubiquitous. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. If you harness perfectly, you may have to redefine perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and WAP. Think frictionless. Think fractal. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our fractal feature set is second to none, but our cross-media ultra-sticky transparent obfuscation and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to utilize intra-efficiently. Think mega-plug-and-play. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? Think virtual. Think virtual. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! The paradigms factor is bleeding-edge. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to scale dynamically. We will grow our capability to monetize without decrementing our power to upgrade. Think interactive. Without sufficient cyber-e-businesses, initiatives are forced to become reality-based. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. Without structuring, you will lack TQM. We will transform the term "efficient". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. The capacity to implement extensibly leads to the power to matrix macro-macro-micro-transparently. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We will expand our capacity to mesh without reducing our capability to morph. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: global. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "nano-TQM". Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging aggregation? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-markets but our ability to expedite. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not customized. The obfuscation factor is e-business. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not proactive, co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and FOAF. Think efficient. Think dot-com. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time.