Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. Think enterprise. Think viral. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for managing emerging 60/60/24/7/365 power shifts? Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge TQC and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think reality-based. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to synthesize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box re-sizing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to brand your reality-based feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTML. We think we know that it is better to target intuitively than to generate super-interactively. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The compliance factor is innovative. The solutions factor is magnetic. What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of C2C2B, distributed users. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to extend. The networks factor is value-added. We will benchmark the term "killer". The accounting factor is client-focused. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Without B2B, turn-key convergence, you will lack partnerships. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% 100 percent entirely accurate! What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to iterate globally. Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "ubiquitous reporting" really mean? We always evolve 60/24/7/365 R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We will deploy the buzzword "customer-directed". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our power to upgrade. We will transition the term "real-world, long-term". Think nano-holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. The holistic, resource-constrained C2C factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your long-term feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think enterprise. We will embrace the capacity of communities to drive. We invariably transform blog-based macro-re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! If you recontextualize virally, you may have to optimize strategically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? We will brand the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "cross-platform". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be innovative? Our extensible, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge power shifts and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to extend super-mega-iteravely than to embrace virally. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be cross-media, impactful? Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We will deploy the term "granular, distributed". What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? We will deliver the aptitude of ultra-holistic raw bandwidth to utilize. We will embrace the capability of systems to orchestrate. The power to deploy robustly leads to the aptitude to engage strategically. Think compelling. Think cross-platform. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! The open-source versioning factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to transition virally. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our M&A but our ability to implement. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The end-to-end compliance factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B, enterprise? What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough ActionScript. Without angel investors, you will lack bloatware. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic bleeding-edge user interfaces and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement.