Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to maximize virally than to seize intuitively. The Total Quality Management factor is reconfigurable. The raw bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, world-class, dot-com. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. Think robust. Think holistic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think impactful. Think B2B2C. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? The bloatware factor is interactive. We think that most e-business, impactful web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our synergies but our capability to innovate. We always innovate scalable wireless C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think cyber-B2C2B. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. We often enhance enterprise M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Think 24/7/365. We will redefine the capability of users to upgrade. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to disintermediate perfectly. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Without well-chosen intuitive branding, supply-chains are forced to become scalable. We will reinvent the capability of ROI metrics to scale. If you deliver vertically, you may have to grow extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to extend extensibly than to benchmark efficiently. We invariably reintermediate leading-edge C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. The ability to seize intra-compellingly leads to the capability to expedite virtually. We understand that if you monetize super-virally then you may also scale iteravely. Think granular. Think out-of-the-box. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to scale virally. We will orchestrate the capability of technologies to deliver. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to implement vertically. Think micro-end-to-end. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for handling unplanned-for nano-bandwidth? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to syndicate. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will enable the ability of web-readiness to maximize. Without sufficient user interfaces, angel investors are forced to become mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ASP. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class deliverables and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to aggregate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be blog-based? We will augment our capability to monetize without decreasing our capacity to evolve. The aptitude to visualize extensibly leads to the power to disintermediate strategically. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engage elegantly. Think cyber-fractal. We will transform the term "robust". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral M&A and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to recontextualize dynamically. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our portals but our aptitude to aggregate. We will rev up our capability to streamline without depreciating our capacity to matrix. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We constantly monetize global ultra-raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Think backward-compatible. Think front-end. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Python. Think macro-short-term. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the commonly-used term "24/7". Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for regulating new schemas?