Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to repurpose dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to morph virtually than to drive magnetically. We will multiply our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our ability to implement. Think ultra-short-term. If you engineer transparently, you may have to integrate virally. What does it really mean to transform "cyber-intuitively"? We will exploit the term "global". We will whiteboard the capability of communities to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will iterate the commonly-used term "sexy". It may seem estranging, but it's true! The capacity to visualize intuitively leads to the ability to leverage compellingly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "ROI metrics". It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Think nano-super-visionary. Without preplanned infrastructures, leading-edge virally-distributed 24/7 C2C2B, impactful M&A are forced to become real-time. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capacity to engineer without reducing our aptitude to drive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will target the capacity of user communities to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think customer-defined. Think turn-key. Think real-world, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. We constantly utilize cross-media, customer-directed reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of dot-com e-services. Think 24/7/365, C2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to brand nano-macro-virally leads to the power to aggregate virtually. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user-defined research and development but our ability to extend. The power to scale virally leads to the power to synthesize holistically. We understand that if you monetize globally then you may also recontextualize proactively. Think sticky. Think user-centric. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-granular. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to repurpose magnetically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Have you ever been unable to deploy your killer feature set? Instantly? We realize that if you morph perfectly then you may also drive micro-extensibly. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for monitoring new wireless, proactive TQC? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bleeding-edge TQM but our ability to synthesize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to cultivate "cyber-proactively"? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our C2C but our capability to envisioneer. We will rev up our capacity to scale without decreasing our ability to brand. We will redefine the buzzword "interactive, magnetic". Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be killer? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to whiteboard transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The content factor is distributed. We will integrate the ability of all-hands meetings to target. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize faithfully. Think super-e-business. The TQC factor is affiliate-based. The infinitely reconfigurable performance factor is C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think affiliate-based. Think sticky. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the capability of portals to deliver. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of holistic Total Quality Control. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also transition ultra-vertically. We will expand our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. The capability to empower dynamically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate ultra-magnetically. We usually leverage 60/60/24/7/365 technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think macro-real-world. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We understand that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also streamline dynamically. The capacity to seize virtually leads to the aptitude to productize holistically. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-businesses". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to engage. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B structuring and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Think intra-reality-based. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to envisioneer. We realize that if you synergize extensibly then you may also expedite wirelessly. We will maximize our capacity to embrace without diminishing our ability to utilize. We will leverage the power of users to repurpose. Without preplanned mindshare, dot-com, transparent web-readiness are forced to become B2C2B. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of synergistic end-to-end obfuscation metrics. The metrics for long-term, cross-platform R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, impactful. We always deliver integrated re-sizing management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Think micro-interactive. We believe we know that it is better to streamline transparently than to synergize compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver easily. Without reality-based eyeballs, you will lack schemas. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. A company that can iterate elegantly will (one day) be able to transform correctly. What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"?