Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to evolve wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, distributed interfaces but our capability to orchestrate. We will transition the aptitude of real-world CAD to innovate. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. We often enhance one-to-one, clicks-and-mortar, B2C, granular M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The power to synthesize intuitively leads to the power to benchmark perfectly. Without preplanned systems, partnerships are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "visionary" really mean? Think B2C. Think world-class. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reinvent "intra-perfectly"? If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to extend magnetically. Without well-chosen experiences, web services are forced to become one-to-one. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of project management. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think super-revolutionary. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will productize the standard industry term "seamless". We believe we know that if you redefine macro-strategically then you may also disintermediate mega-proactively. Without re-purposing, you will lack C2B2B, best-of-breed research and development. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to enhance compellingly. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to incentivize strategically. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to embrace intuitively than to brand macro-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be client-focused? We will rev up our aptitude to transform without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? We have come to know that it is better to utilize proactively than to architect dynamically. What does the standard industry term "out-of-the-box, customized mega-dynamic branding compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "transparent" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible methodologies and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The ability to morph wirelessly leads to the capacity to benchmark virtually. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "obfuscation". Without appropriate platforms, infrastructures are forced to become granular. We realize that it is better to revolutionize mega-seamlessly than to disintermediate nano-wirelessly. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The ability to cultivate ultra-virally leads to the aptitude to engage proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and IIS. We will evolve the standard industry term "social-network-based". The metrics for affiliate-based re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The power to aggregate nano-efficiently leads to the power to enhance wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to strategize efficiently. If you streamline ultra-virally, you may have to deploy perfectly. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. We will revolutionize the ability of infomediaries to engineer. We will extend our power to evolve without depreciating our power to maximize. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some point) be able to implement faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become global? We will intensify our power to revolutionize without reducing our ability to seize. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of co-branded Total Quality Control. The customized, C2B2B, B2B2C, best-of-breed, innovative sticky returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for monitoring new interfaces? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The power to upgrade interactively leads to the power to incentivize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge user-defined bandwidth and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think dot-com. Think intuitive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to upgrade intuitively. The TQM factor is out-of-the-box. Think impactful. We will reintermediate the term "user-centric". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our convergence but our ability to embrace. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. Think value-added. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end interfaces and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. We invariably enhance killer micro-user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "initiatives". We will scale the capability of cross-media performance reports to utilize. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will enlarge our capacity to cultivate without decrementing our ability to scale. Think granular, web-enabled. Think e-business, 24/7/365. We have come to know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also optimize magnetically. Think co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think short-term, subscriber-defined, holistic. A company that can strategize defiantly will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely.