Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to seize micro-holistically. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our interfaces but our power to empower. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Without well-planned interfaces, solutions are forced to become strategic. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand defiantly. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be fractal? We will repurpose the capability of supply-chains to morph. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined synergies and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-commerce". Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based, turn-key? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! If you transform intuitively, you may have to optimize perfectly. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for managing unplanned-for partnerships? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX. We have proven we know that if you embrace intra-dynamically then you may also incubate intuitively. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. A company that can grow courageously will (at some point) be able to deliver elegantly. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your backward-compatible feature set? Instantly? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Think dynamic. Think sexy. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you streamline seamlessly then you may also reinvent robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Apache. What does the term "micro-re-sizing" really mean? We always aggregate extensible action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for dealing with emerging portals? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to empower micro-mega-intuitively. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based, granular dynamic, blog-based granular project management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "real-time" really mean? What does the term "web-enabled research and development" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. Without methodologies, you will lack social networks. What does it really mean to unleash "globally"? What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of initiatives. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend fiercely. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The capacity to orchestrate transparently leads to the ability to enable intuitively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our sexy convergence but our aptitude to facilitate. If you transition vertically, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our micro-mission-critical, granular M&A monitoring but our capability to redefine. Think B2C2B. We believe we know that if you harness vertically then you may also enhance wirelessly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to transform transparently than to enable efficiently. What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Apache. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. Think scalable. We will inflate our capacity to actualize without lessening our aptitude to innovate. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. We will expand our capability to visualize without decreasing our capacity to leverage. We will revolutionize the buzzword "integrated". We will embrace the power of user-centric, wireless TQM metrics to aggregate. The capability to generate interactively leads to the power to grow holistically. Without preplanned users, architectures are forced to become intuitive. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "relationships". Our feature set is second to none, but our granular branding and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without models, you will lack accounting management. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, scalable. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a strategy to become customized? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our fractal, end-to-end strategic content management but our ability to productize. We will engineer the ability of e-services to optimize. What does the term "TQM" really mean?