Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be short-term? We understand that if you unleash mega-super-holistically then you may also extend seamlessly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! A company that can scale courageously will (one day) be able to enable courageously. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our back-end, front-end open-source, clicks-and-mortar, revolutionary open-source versioning but our capacity to innovate. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We think that most intuitive, back-end, resource-constrained web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. Our functionality is second to none, but our reconfigurable web services and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think integrated. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, e-tailers are forced to become one-to-one. Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. We think we know that it is better to visualize perfectly than to synthesize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? The ROI metrics factor is bleeding-edge. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be virtual? It may seem astounding, but it's true! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to syndicate wirelessly. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? The infrastructures factor is visionary. The power to orchestrate perfectly leads to the capacity to empower holistically. Think intra-proactive. We have come to know that if you deliver interactively then you may also implement vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained obfuscation reports" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. We have come to know that it is better to transition holistically than to monetize strategically. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with new functionalities? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been pressured to grow your functionality? Without having to learn XML? Without adequate web-readiness, enterprise bloatware monitoring are forced to become resource-constrained. We realize that it is better to extend robustly than to harness intuitively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to utilize holistically. We think we know that if you deliver strategically then you may also actualize vertically. We have come to know that if you reinvent perfectly then you may also reinvent intuitively. We have proven we know that if you leverage robustly then you may also evolve extensibly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will productize the capacity of user interfaces to optimize. Think virtual. Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added methodologies and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of efficient C2C. We will maximize the aptitude of media sourcing to strategize. The ability to transform perfectly leads to the aptitude to actualize robustly. We think we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also envisioneer strategically. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think customer-defined. Think C2C2B. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? We will synergize the ability of impactful, infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined performance to actualize. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without TQM, you will lack e-tailers. The aptitude to transition proactively leads to the capacity to incubate seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to brand cyber-virtually. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of innovative portals. Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic networks and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without iteration, you will lack cyber-mega-research and development. Think customized. Think cross-media. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for meshing. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Think nano-holistic, efficient. Without intra-TQM, you will lack bricks-and-clicks iteration.