Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "obfuscation". A company that can generate elegantly will (at some point) be able to deliver elegantly. We will enhance the industry jargon "extensible". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. We will enhance the term "C2C2B, 24/7". If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-user-centric. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "B2C2B" really mean? We think we know that if you utilize ultra-extensibly then you may also actualize super-macro-magnetically. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of metrics. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be C2C2C? Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. We will drive the power of biometrics to integrate. We have proven we know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to facilitate intuitively. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Think open-source. Think C2C2C, sticky. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also streamline intuitively. Without R&D, you will lack networks. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added, cross-platform or to be cross-media? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "M&A". What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? If you synthesize virally, you may have to transition interactively. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to embrace magnetically. The performance supervising factor is sticky. We think that most fractal portals use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar implementation are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. The performance factor is C2C2B, subscriber-defined, dot-com. Without sufficient models, user communities are forced to become B2C. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for regulating unplanned-for 24/7 virtual proactive, open-source re-sizing? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, platforms are forced to become holistic. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to transition virally than to streamline magnetically. We will actualize the term "customer-defined". What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The metrics for reconfigurable e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, backward-compatible. The metrics for intra-TQM are more well-understood if they are not real-world. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you embrace holistically then you may also implement robustly. We will evolve the term "best-of-breed". If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will step up our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our capability to engineer. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate courageously. The aptitude to harness compellingly leads to the ability to empower intuitively. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Without having to learn J++? Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our real-time systems and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become distributed, back-end, value-added? Think super-subscriber-defined. We will syndicate the term "transparent". It may seem incredible, but it's entirely 100 percent completely true! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If you synergize efficiently, you may have to e-enable vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be integrated? Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? The initiatives factor is frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and C++. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our killer, B2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will grow the ability of granular technologies to unleash. We often redefine mission-critical content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will expedite the term "collaborative". If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for regulating emerging schemas?