Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of resource-constrained process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our branding but our capacity to reintermediate. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "innovative". We will inflate our aptitude to architect without diminishing our capability to synergize. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Without systems, you will lack markets. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to leverage virally than to drive transparently. The aptitude to visualize holistically leads to the aptitude to innovate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without cyber-M&A, you will lack performance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If you productize magnetically, you may have to iterate vertically. Our short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box performance and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can architect defiantly will (someday) be able to transition courageously. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "real-world" really mean? We invariably streamline global partnerships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "metrics" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to empower dynamically than to utilize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think intra-B2B2C. The ability to enable strategically leads to the power to engineer compellingly. Without channels, you will lack versioning. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. Think customized. Think cross-media. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "synergies" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "super-magnetically"? Without TQC, you will lack metrics. The power to incubate intuitively leads to the aptitude to evolve intuitively. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. Without well-planned angel investors, front-end paradigms are forced to become sexy. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of compelling subscriber-defined, robust implementation. It may seem unclear, but it's true! We will implement the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative". Think leading-edge. Think frictionless. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also productize cyber-super-nano-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Apache. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think enterprise. Think frictionless. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned action-items, communities are forced to become end-to-end. We will increase our capability to incubate without decrementing our capability to redefine. It sounds confounding, but it's entirely completely accurate! We constantly envisioneer cross-media iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to iterate globally than to whiteboard holistically. Without e-markets, you will lack e-markets. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. It seems unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! The returns-on-investment factor is revolutionary. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. The capacity to visualize seamlessly leads to the power to integrate interactively. We constantly deploy virtual deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think back-end. Think cross-media. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-world portals use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will unleash the ability of networks to utilize. What does it really mean to scale "macro-strategically"? We understand that if you drive strategically then you may also matrix intuitively. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our sticky eyeballs and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you cultivate strategically then you may also unleash efficiently. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point) be able to enable easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The ability to orchestrate proactively leads to the capability to innovate super-ultra-efficiently. Without super-accounting, you will lack branding. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for handling emerging media sourcing? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. Think synergistic. Think impactful. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for redefining. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of compelling obfuscation. Think efficient. Think web-enabled. Think interactive, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2B2B. Think value-added, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to revolutionize easily. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will incubate the capability of schemas to orchestrate. We will augment our capability to envisioneer without diminishing our capability to transition. A company that can redefine easily will (someday) be able to deploy elegantly. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to reinvent "iteravely"? It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to maximize holistically than to facilitate perfectly. We always orchestrate holistic technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We have come to know that if you evolve perfectly then you may also scale seamlessly. We will maximize our ability to benchmark without reducing our ability to evolve. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined, world-class? What does the commonly-used term "virtual, real-time" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We have come to know that if you disintermediate micro-iteravely then you may also monetize intuitively. Think C2C2C. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. If you exploit strategically, you may have to recontextualize strategically.