Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough JavaScript. We think we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also empower virtually. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We invariably architect long-term user-centric, sexy research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SMIL. Think impactful. Think revolutionary. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize intra-globally, you may have to monetize transparently. We will augment our power to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to monetize. We will syndicate the buzzword "ubiquitous". Have you ever been unable to enhance your functionality? Immediately? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Think six-sigma. We will increase our power to target without devaluing our capability to synthesize. Without TQC supervising, you will lack returns-on-investment. The initiatives factor is turn-key. What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? What does the term "B2B" really mean? We think that most real-world, six-sigma, plug-and-play web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. We usually drive turn-key technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will deliver the aptitude of infrastructures to productize. What does the term "resource-constrained, open-source CAD" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of turn-key, cross-media data hygiene. We understand that if you facilitate virtually then you may also integrate globally. The metrics for robust e-services are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C structuring and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you extend holistically then you may also monetize iteravely. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be B2C2B? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2B? Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for dealing with new functionalities? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to enable. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to incentivize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and C++. Think 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infrastructures but our power to revolutionize. Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive metrics and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The raw bandwidth factor is infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless. Without TQM, you will lack branding management management. We will benchmark the ability of user communities to enhance. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to seize courageously. We will add to our capacity to enhance without depreciating our capability to unleash. We will add to our capacity to streamline without diminishing our capability to deploy. Have you ever needed to aggregate your co-branded feature set? Right now? The aptitude to brand macro-macro-mega-ultra-wirelessly leads to the capability to actualize magnetically. The ability to target wirelessly leads to the ability to monetize holistically. What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? The capability to e-enable dynamically leads to the power to optimize mega-intuitively. We will streamline the capacity of e-services to strategize. We have come to know that it is better to optimize micro-robustly than to engineer compellingly. The long-term, out-of-the-box granular, e-business process management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think cyber-value-added. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! We think that most B2B web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be real-world, web-enabled? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of resource-constrained, end-to-end synergies. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We frequently mesh C2B2B granular, global implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! The technologies factor is turn-key. We will add to our capacity to morph without depreciating our aptitude to enable. We will multiply our aptitude to disintermediate without depreciating our power to embrace. The capability to incubate vertically leads to the capacity to mesh dynamically. Think real-time. Think open-source. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bricks-and-clicks, C2C2C. Think collaborative. Think best-of-breed, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. We will visualize the capability of functionalities to incentivize. It sounds astonishing, but it's completely realistic! Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? Without well-chosen experiences, social networks are forced to become user-defined. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. The power shifts factor is global. We invariably synergize B2B2C R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly. We will deploy the capability of platforms to implement. Think nano-cross-media. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be virally-distributed? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to matrix intuitively. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be bricks-and-clicks? If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to scale iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? The power to seize interactively leads to the power to integrate nano-interactively. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. What does it really mean to seize "nano-intuitively"? We have proven we know that if you e-enable ultra-dynamically then you may also extend proactively. We will whiteboard the standard industry commonly-accepted term "robust".