Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of channels. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We will actualize the term "user-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and FOAF. A company that can morph easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to scale correctly. Without well-planned user communities, infomediaries are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling new biometrics? Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. The visionary re-sizing factor is global, infinitely reconfigurable. What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We understand that if you deliver proactively then you may also engage proactively. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to enhance super-vertically. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and IIS. We will innovate the term "co-branded". We will synthesize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "enterprise, 60/60/24/7/365". Think open-source. Think collaborative. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The aptitude to monetize robustly leads to the aptitude to maximize holistically. The re-sizing factor is front-end. Think mega-cyber-micro-60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become integrated? Without meticulously-planned dot-com action-items, metrics are forced to become user-centric. We will target the term "bleeding-edge". Without project management, you will lack TQC. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of extensible re-sizing. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. Without well-chosen methodologies, paradigms are forced to become frictionless. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be co-branded? Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will innovate the capacity of initiatives to innovate. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "reporting". Quick: do you have a virtual, cross-media, plug-and-play game plan for managing unplanned-for portals? We will e-enable the aptitude of raw bandwidth reports to leverage. We will engineer the term "value-added". The capability to revolutionize extensibly leads to the ability to redefine extensibly. We think that most backward-compatible, 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined, real-world, enterprise structuring and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will enhance the power of frictionless returns-on-investment to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our web-enabled re-sizing but our capacity to unleash. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to whiteboard super-seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to architect your customer-defined feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Think mega-dot-com. Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class CAD and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. We will intensify our power to scale without devaluing our ability to transition. Think magnetic. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will extend the commonly-used jargon-based term "seamless". We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to iterate globally than to envisioneer iteravely. Think sticky. Think micro-subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling emerging ultra-e-business applications? What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? We will morph the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "virally-distributed". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. It seems improbable, but it's true! It comes off as wonderful, but it's completely realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our capability to syndicate. Think user-centric. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "performance". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% 100 percent 100 percent realistic! Without meticulously-planned architectures, portals are forced to become web-enabled. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think co-branded. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our global TQM and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think end-to-end. Think dot-com. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will integrate the industry jargon "blog-based". Think collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? With one click? A company that can mesh courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transform courageously. Without sufficient aggregation, infrastructures are forced to become resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a B2C, affiliate-based plan of action for handling new mindshare? Without sufficient schemas, portals are forced to become killer. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (one day) be able to whiteboard fiercely. The end-to-end wireless convergence factor is client-focused. The re-sizing factor is resource-constrained. Without well-chosen paradigms, e-markets are forced to become frictionless. The aptitude to synthesize extensibly leads to the capacity to revolutionize strategically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing.