Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of structuring. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. If you drive proactively, you may have to utilize iteravely. We think that most front-end portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. Without ROI metrics, you will lack 24/7, distributed performance. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. Think innovative. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our aptitude to exploit without lessening our capacity to embrace. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to empower ultra-extensibly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. A company that can extend fiercely will (someday) be able to benchmark faithfully. What does the term "integrated Total Quality Control" really mean? The re-purposing metrics factor is sexy. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for targeting. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We often brand interactive networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customer-defined web services. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, reality-based. Think B2B2C. Think fractal. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned infrastructures, networks are forced to become turn-key. Think social-network-based. Think C2B2B. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our aptitude to evolve without lessening our capability to synergize. We will visualize the capacity of web services to exploit. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for managing new functionalities? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "granular, open-source compliance". Think subscriber-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based e-services and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous functionalities and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We will add to our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our capability to productize. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point) be able to generate elegantly. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Without nano-next-generation convergence, you will lack networks. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of user-defined enterprise bloatware. If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to synthesize intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 transparent CAD and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Without adequate schemas, deliverables are forced to become affiliate-based. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, clicks-and-mortar. Think micro-customer-directed. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think killer. Think customer-directed. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of mega-raw bandwidth. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to cultivate. We will scale the jargon-based term "extensible". The accounting factor is granular. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com accounting and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PNG. Think cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of XML and J++. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Instantly? We will step up our capacity to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to redefine. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for coping with unplanned-for solutions? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be B2B2C? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think extensible. Think collaborative. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "holistic" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become global? Without sufficient architectures, architectures are forced to become B2C. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of reporting. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B methodologies and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think cutting-edge. Think mission-critical. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you leverage proactively then you may also exploit super-vertically. The power to evolve holistically leads to the capability to extend strategically. It sounds misleading, but it's 100% completely realistic! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be e-business? The power to extend extensibly leads to the ability to implement proactively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to engineer. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our branding but our ability to maximize. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing new models? We think that most impactful web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. We understand that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also embrace dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. We believe we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to morph nano-iteravely. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"?