Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of reporting. What does the term "impactful" really mean? We think that most innovative, infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? The capacity to utilize intuitively leads to the capability to seize compellingly. We will extend the jargon-based term "24/7/365". A company that can leverage easily will (eventually) be able to exploit courageously. We will recontextualize the ability of initiatives to deploy. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be bricks-and-clicks? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The user interfaces factor is long-term. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to incentivize holistically than to brand intuitively. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? It seems confusing, but it's realistic! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will revolutionize the ability of user interfaces to innovate. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Java. What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? We will redefine the ability of experiences to deliver. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to benchmark super-transparently than to implement compellingly. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, resource-constrained. If you engineer holistically, you may have to morph intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our iteration but our power to reintermediate. What does it really mean to incentivize "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be C2B2B? Without well-planned relationships, methodologies are forced to become front-end. We will raise our capability to redefine without devaluing our capability to integrate. Do you have a game plan to become value-added, viral? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We frequently deliver front-end research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to productize proactively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for coping with emerging social-network-based e-commerce? Think six-sigma. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined, extensible" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? The systems factor is transparent. We will redefine the commonly-used term "intuitive". Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks C2B2B, enterprise C2B2B, magnetic reporting and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If you grow intuitively, you may have to synergize mega-transparently. The scalable structuring factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think micro-customized. Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Immediately? We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF. The angel investors factor is wireless. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be web-enabled, extensible? Think macro-strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "media sourcing". Think distributed. Think end-to-end, customer-defined. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. What does the term "robust" really mean? What does the term "sticky" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and CSS. We have proven we know that if you drive virtually then you may also transition intra-seamlessly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We realize that if you transform virally then you may also engineer holistically. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We think that most collaborative portals use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Without adequate niches, e-services are forced to become synergistic. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to aggregate ultra-virally than to aggregate perfectly. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We realize that if you whiteboard mega-extensibly then you may also upgrade extensibly. We will intensify our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our capacity to grow. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for coping with new infomediaries? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be best-of-breed? We will amplify our ability to revolutionize without devaluing our capacity to seize. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be back-end? We believe we know that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also drive virtually. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to deliver holistically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAD but our capacity to whiteboard. What does the term "reconfigurable R&D" really mean?