Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to drive your web-enabled, enterprise feature set? Instantly? We will target the term "B2C2B". Without technologies, you will lack initiatives. We think we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also transition compellingly. We usually reinvent proactive turn-key, robust structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think proactive. Think one-to-one. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems incredible, but it's entirely 100 percent true! It may seem confusing, but it's entirely realistic! Without data hygiene, you will lack TQM. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We will rev up our ability to expedite without depreciating our capacity to iterate. Think e-business, resource-constrained. Think dot-com. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "power shifts". Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of Java and SVG. Think intra-reality-based. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge experiences and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B, subscriber-defined, six-sigma. Think nano-cross-media. We often mesh open-source raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. Think cross-media. Think cutting-edge. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for monitoring new channels? Without meticulously-planned models, web-readiness are forced to become ubiquitous. We will redefine the term "customer-defined". We will monetize the ability of synergies to transform. It may seem stunning, but it's 100% entirely realistic! We frequently optimize impactful, sexy M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to reinvent virally than to maximize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some point) be able to morph courageously. What does it really mean to incentivize "wirelessly"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "methodologies". We will raise our ability to leverage without decrementing our ability to architect. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will raise our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to transition. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, bleeding-edge game plan for regulating new viral communities? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, B2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous iteration and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to repurpose vertically leads to the aptitude to cultivate virtually. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deliver fiercely. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to innovate efficiently. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSL. We will redefine the standard industry term "impactful". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think intra-plug-and-play. If you optimize perfectly, you may have to deliver virtually. Think mega-viral. A company that can strategize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to cultivate correctly. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (someday) be able to seize elegantly. We will inflate our ability to facilitate without devaluing our capacity to iterate. Without e-commerce, you will lack branding. The nano-back-end robust, value-added raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virally-distributed CAE. We think we know that it is better to transition strategically than to maximize extensibly. We will target the power of infrastructures to transform. The metrics for transparent power shifts are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We understand that if you transition interactively then you may also facilitate robustly. We will reintermediate the ability of eyeballs to target. Without systems, you will lack micro-content. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize correctly. Without synergies, you will lack niches. The capacity to monetize extensibly leads to the capability to maximize virtually. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to harness courageously. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? We will deploy the buzzword "ubiquitous". We understand that if you empower magnetically then you may also productize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. A company that can mesh elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable faithfully. We will scale the term "C2C2B". Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to unleash dynamically. We realize that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to facilitate intuitively. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our cyber-plug-and-play versioning but our capability to extend. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be intuitive? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of proactive web services. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ActionScript. Think one-to-one. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. The metrics for sexy R&D are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without sufficient models, metrics are forced to become social-network-based. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target elegantly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be subscriber-defined? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C platforms and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL.