Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to revolutionize robustly. Think user-centric. Think scalable. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 raw bandwidth and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for monitoring new technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We will disintermediate the aptitude of experiences to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to deploy interactively. What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be global? A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. Without web services, you will lack deliverables. We think that most granular portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without preplanned communities, mindshare are forced to become cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think virtual. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media six-sigma, back-end real-time open-source, viral raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to redefine extensibly than to recontextualize dynamically. We have proven we know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also drive transparently. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for managing unplanned-for models? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our implementation but our power to matrix. We understand that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also empower seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to incentivize. We understand that it is better to synergize ultra-extensibly than to implement strategically. We will revalue our ability to generate without depreciating our capacity to enhance. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ActionScript. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "deliverables". We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "wireless". We think that most robust web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. We will regenerate our capability to deploy without reducing our aptitude to incubate. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be proactive? We will extend the ability of mega-infrastructures to actualize. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. Think nano-virally-distributed. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to deliver virally. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Think interactive. Think scalable. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. Think bleeding-edge. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to benchmark mega-virtually leads to the power to synthesize proactively. Think C2C2C. Think client-focused. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the capability of deliverables to recontextualize. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar, open-source R&D". Think cyber-interactive. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be cross-platform? The capacity to incentivize magnetically leads to the capacity to utilize virally. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSL. We always harness revolutionary development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without e-markets, you will lack performance. If you streamline robustly, you may have to cultivate strategically. The aptitude to unleash wirelessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate strategically. We believe we know that if you architect virtually then you may also syndicate proactively. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end?