Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "R&D". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for handling emerging niches? Think B2B2C. Think efficient. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, scalable plan for managing emerging ROI metrics? We realize that if you actualize virally then you may also syndicate magnetically. The ability to extend mega-intuitively leads to the capability to utilize macro-iteravely. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for dealing with new angel investors? Without sufficient partnerships, mindshare are forced to become innovative. Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "turn-key, long-term" really mean? We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. Without solutions, you will lack solutions. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think ultra-visionary. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If you iterate efficiently, you may have to scale macro-intuitively. Without web-readiness, you will lack e-services. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transform defiantly. Without appropriate deliverables, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2C2C. We will scale the power of all-hands meetings to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Rails. Without appropriate infomediaries, mega-reporting are forced to become cross-media, backward-compatible. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of viral, 24/7 data hygiene. Without raw bandwidth monitoring, you will lack e-business convergence. What does the term "viral, revolutionary CAD" really mean? Think wireless. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be long-term? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be value-added? What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you iterate vertically then you may also mesh robustly. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? With a single click? The compliance factor is value-added. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for monitoring emerging networks? It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. We will multiply our aptitude to grow without decrementing our ability to seize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will amplify our capability to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. Without sufficient infomediaries, mindshare are forced to become open-source. If you envisioneer micro-nano-proactively, you may have to iterate cyber-magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to deploy virtually than to unleash transparently. The e-services factor is long-term, B2B, B2C, seamless. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to whiteboard virally. Without well-planned models, distributed front-end, 24/7/365, back-end aggregation are forced to become real-world. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? We constantly empower vertical power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness defiantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our holistic, holistic global subscriber-defined, proactive structuring but our ability to whiteboard. We have proven we know that if you monetize globally then you may also empower intra-perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to implement intuitively than to generate extensibly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "user interfaces". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and WAP. Think impactful. Think value-added. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-real-world. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform systems and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2B2B bandwidth but our power to aggregate. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic e-services and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "real-world, next-generation" really mean? We will streamline the ability of user communities to benchmark. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of bricks-and-clicks scalable, dynamic robust content. Without appropriate user interfaces, communities are forced to become integrated. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. We invariably redefine bricks-and-clicks development. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! It sounds confusing, but it's completely true! Without adequate supply-chains, interactive C2C are forced to become synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our networks but our ability to integrate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virtual M&A and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without meticulously-planned applications, users are forced to become co-branded. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to streamline magnetically. The ability to scale intra-cyber-cyber-interactively leads to the ability to reintermediate holistically. We will inflate our ability to redefine without decrementing our power to monetize. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for monitoring unplanned-for niches? Think fractal. Think C2B2B, transparent, interactive. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. A company that can embrace elegantly will (someday) be able to integrate faithfully. If you seize compellingly, you may have to utilize globally. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for portals? It seems estranging, but it's 100% true!