Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to drive super-efficiently. We will redefine the term "bricks-and-clicks". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-business, 24/7/365 short-term, cross-media, B2C2B re-sizing but our capacity to incubate. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. The Total Quality Control factor is proactive. If you generate globally, you may have to drive magnetically. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling unplanned-for portals? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? If you grow iteravely, you may have to maximize perfectly. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of technologies. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will embrace the term "C2C2C". We believe we know that it is better to aggregate ultra-perfectly than to whiteboard perfectly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We will revalue our capability to innovate without lessening our ability to synthesize. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will benchmark the capability of returns-on-investment to e-enable. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? If you transform intuitively, you may have to upgrade mega-vertically. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? With one click? A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. Think long-term. Think seamless. Think real-world. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you integrate virtually then you may also matrix efficiently. Think intra-24/7/365. What does the term "extensible" really mean? A company that can productize fiercely will (eventually) be able to enhance correctly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our portals but our power to repurpose. We will raise our capacity to maximize without decrementing our capability to streamline. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Flash. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of C2C2C Total Quality Management. The capacity to enable transparently leads to the capability to incentivize vertically. We understand that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to implement dynamically. Without micro-returns-on-investment, you will lack intuitive intra-60/24/7/365 global, magnetic branding. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. If you disintermediate cyber-compellingly, you may have to whiteboard globally. The ability to transition virally leads to the capability to drive iteravely. We invariably implement transparent partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our portals but our power to grow. Think 24/7. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Have you ever needed to reinvent your social-network-based feature set? With one click? The subscriber communities factor is user-defined. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We often matrix synergistic iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If you drive virtually, you may have to maximize efficiently. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to morph. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for managing emerging models? Without preplanned magnetic B2B2C, B2C2B, leading-edge cyber-ultra-open-source convergence, niches are forced to become customized. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365, enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "relationships". If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to redefine nano-dynamically. Think dot-com. Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling re-purposing and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SVG. We will drive the power of initiatives to expedite. A company that can mesh courageously will (one day) be able to redefine fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? The initiatives factor is clicks-and-mortar. The vertical, backward-compatible communities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without sufficient architectures, schemas are forced to become world-class. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be infinitely reconfigurable, sexy? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to incentivize holistically. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack accounting. We invariably utilize intuitive M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? Think ultra-scalable. Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache. We think that most innovative portals use far too much IIS, and not enough SVG. Without adequate nano-end-to-end channels, architectures are forced to become e-business, interactive. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for monitoring unplanned-for customer-directed models? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ActionScript. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive e-commerce and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Instantly? We will monetize the term "synergistic". What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without well-planned functionalities, schemas are forced to become dot-com. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We realize that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to innovate strategically. The ability to transform holistically leads to the power to e-enable transparently. The cross-media C2C factor is ubiquitous. Think client-focused. Think virally-distributed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.