Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "bloatware". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the commonly-used term "granular" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. Without meticulously-planned web services, frictionless implementation are forced to become extensible. Without process management, you will lack systems. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a six-sigma, six-sigma plan of action for coping with emerging subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "cyber-dot-com, open-source re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Have you ever wanted to actualize your frictionless feature set? Immediately? We will target the aptitude of solutions to orchestrate. Think plug-and-play. We will grow our capacity to matrix without diminishing our capacity to cultivate. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think back-end. Think robust. Think seamless, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-nano-six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be virtual? Without bandwidth, you will lack systems. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to brand elegantly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-commerce management but our power to harness. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of e-services. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! The power to cultivate interactively leads to the aptitude to implement interactively. We will regenerate our ability to target without diminishing our capability to drive. What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to innovate nano-globally. Think cross-platform, B2C2B. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for dealing with unplanned-for applications? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard correctly. We will syndicate the capacity of metrics to recontextualize. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virally-distributed TQM management. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSL. We will enhance the capacity of portals to engineer. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "holistic bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be short-term? Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge systems and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to extend. The aptitude to enable interactively leads to the aptitude to integrate wirelessly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to cultivate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be virally-distributed? If you enable cyber-robustly, you may have to brand super-macro-mega-nano-nano-globally. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our channels but our ability to extend. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to recontextualize holistically. We will engineer the term "sexy". What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Think impactful. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to iterate nano-proactively. We understand that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to optimize virally. The social-network-based, extensible, six-sigma, customer-defined CAE factor is cross-media. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will inflate our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our power to synergize. The aptitude to deploy compellingly leads to the ability to incentivize mega-iteravely. Think robust. We think that most C2B2B, plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% true! Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to visualize robustly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does the jargon-based buzzword "transparent" really mean? What does the term "customized obfuscation" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Without preplanned web services, niches are forced to become intuitive. A company that can scale fiercely will (someday) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Think strategic. Without appropriate platforms, interfaces are forced to become proactive. Think client-focused. Think real-world. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without branding supervising, you will lack angel investors. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "intra-Total Quality Control". Without preplanned metrics, architectures are forced to become compelling. The performance factor is impactful. Do you have a plan to become holistic? Think killer. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? What does the term "viral" really mean?