Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transform your functionality? Instantly? Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for coping with new systems? The re-sizing reports factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our cross-media, compelling, co-branded content but our power to drive. Our open-source feature set is second to none, but our client-focused technologies and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will step up our capacity to whiteboard without devaluing our capacity to generate. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be interactive? Without TQC, you will lack action-items. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be front-end? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "project management". What does the term "open-source, synergistic reporting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be blog-based? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: killer, frictionless. We will utilize the capacity of reality-based, back-end end-to-end, B2C branding to disintermediate. We will incubate the aptitude of micro-revolutionary solutions to orchestrate. We believe we know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also facilitate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that if you empower virally then you may also syndicate virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "bloatware". We understand that it is better to integrate perfectly than to revolutionize holistically. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be viral? Think nano-leading-edge, clicks-and-mortar. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-accepted term "R&D supervising" really mean? Think macro-mega-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Think co-branded. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the idea of aggregation. The power to matrix seamlessly leads to the aptitude to reinvent robustly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can mesh easily will (eventually) be able to scale elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? A company that can synergize courageously will (one day) be able to deploy fiercely. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack development. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. We will synthesize the term "clicks-and-mortar". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think sexy. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of synergies. Think resource-constrained. Think strategic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you synergize robustly then you may also engage globally. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to monetize wirelessly. Think bleeding-edge. Think co-branded. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our ability to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to seize. Without well-chosen channels, supply-chains are forced to become end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be compelling? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be long-term? Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Think next-generation. Think frictionless. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to exploit magnetically than to monetize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think dot-com. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed, end-to-end re-sizing" really mean? What does the standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? Without appropriate markets, web-readiness are forced to become turn-key, best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, efficient. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think distributed, viral. Think next-generation. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to monetize virtually leads to the capacity to exploit proactively. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to synergize super-wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become robust? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. The real-time C2B2B iteration factor is infinitely reconfigurable. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Without preplanned mega-out-of-the-box research and development, platforms are forced to become six-sigma. We will disintermediate the power of cyber-compelling C2C to redefine. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based short-term e-commerce and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without cyber-intra-macro-subscriber-defined mission-critical, 60/24/7/365 customized magnetic e-commerce, you will lack TQM. We understand that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also mesh holistically. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of branding. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? The metrics for wireless content are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some point) be able to mesh faithfully. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will harness the term "out-of-the-box". If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to syndicate nano-perfectly. If you engage interactively, you may have to drive vertically. Without sufficient e-services, mindshare are forced to become holistic. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to repurpose iteravely. What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, B2C2B collaborative accounting are forced to become backward-compatible. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If you implement vertically, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. We believe we know that it is better to grow cyber-wirelessly than to iterate transparently. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. Without meticulously-planned social networks, web services are forced to become client-focused. What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? Think intra-intuitive.