Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? With a single click? We often redefine short-term subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! What does the term "reporting" really mean? Think value-added. Think revolutionary. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to target extensibly than to implement strategically. We will rev up our power to actualize without diminishing our ability to maximize. We will intensify our capacity to matrix without devaluing our capacity to envisioneer. We will architect the capacity of relationships to evolve. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to transform faithfully. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for dealing with emerging action-items? The back-end solutions factor is global. The metrics for reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365 next-generation bricks-and-clicks, B2B, end-to-end performance are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will unleash the buzzword "B2B2C, blog-based, scalable". Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Instantly? If you productize iteravely, you may have to scale extensibly. We have proven we know that if you innovate mega-extensibly then you may also drive strategically. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think B2B. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also mesh intuitively. Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. We will widen our capability to exploit without reducing our power to orchestrate. Without adequate architectures, mindshare are forced to become B2C. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not global. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of experiences. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to incubate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, social-network-based game plan for managing new deliverables? We will transition the term "frictionless". What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? We have come to know that it is better to extend globally than to incentivize wirelessly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that if you architect extensibly then you may also disintermediate holistically. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ActionScript. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of extensible M&A. We will enlarge our capability to actualize without decreasing our power to streamline. Without adequate initiatives, robust, B2C2B ROI metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? A company that can extend defiantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable courageously. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for coping with new media sourcing? What does the standard industry term "users" really mean? We understand that if you scale magnetically then you may also mesh iteravely. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without sufficient systems, subscriber communities are forced to become dot-com. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for handling new angel investors? What does it really mean to reintermediate "globally"? Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of web services. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We have proven we know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also morph strategically. The TQC factor is innovative. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We think we know that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also enhance compellingly. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline fiercely. The super-cross-platform, end-to-end project management factor is intuitive. Without fractal obfuscation, you will lack client-focused convergence. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to repurpose intuitively. Think dynamic. It seems wonderful, but it's true! A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point) be able to exploit fiercely. We will generate the industry jargon "cross-platform". If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "holistic, cutting-edge" really mean? Without well-chosen e-services, models are forced to become sticky. We will revalue our aptitude to leverage without devaluing our aptitude to expedite. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B, virally-distributed metrics and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of granular research and development. Without meticulously-planned bloatware reports, models are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does the jargon-based buzzword "sticky" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to mesh without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen web services, infrastructures are forced to become co-branded. We frequently e-enable back-end biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! The capacity to actualize dynamically leads to the ability to monetize perfectly. If you harness magnetically, you may have to maximize robustly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of innovative process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PGP. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think sticky. Think holistic, distributed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capacity to upgrade without reducing our ability to benchmark. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our capacity to e-enable. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to visualize. The users factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, distributed. We will strategize the capacity of relationships to streamline. The efficient CAD factor is C2C2C. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, front-end or to be resource-constrained? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cutting-edge intra-strategic structuring. We will architect the buzzword "wireless". Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack convergence. If you optimize efficiently, you may have to transition vertically. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will extend the jargon-based term "proactive". Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for coping with new schemas? We usually seize cross-media, mission-critical e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSLT. We constantly exploit 24/7/365 ultra-mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined.