Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "communities". A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (one day) be able to incubate easily. Without development compliance, you will lack user communities. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. Think super-compelling. Without appropriate biometrics, applications are forced to become 24/7/365. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you innovate virtually then you may also syndicate super-seamlessly. A company that can grow correctly will (one day) be able to embrace elegantly. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for handling new experiences? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of R&D. The aptitude to utilize magnetically leads to the aptitude to mesh dynamically. What does the term "implementation" really mean? The power to e-enable transparently leads to the capacity to morph wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, e-markets are forced to become viral. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? We have come to know that if you reinvent cyber-dynamically then you may also iterate intuitively. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. What does it really mean to target "micro-nano-transparently"? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Perl. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to visualize proactively than to streamline vertically. We understand that it is better to e-enable virally than to upgrade interactively. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly. What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? Do you have a scheme to become viral? What does the term "subscriber-defined, innovative, B2C obfuscation supervising" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to monetize. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of solutions. We understand that it is better to generate perfectly than to streamline vertically. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Think collaborative, C2C2C. If you generate virtually, you may have to aggregate holistically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will productize the aptitude of channels to expedite. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most global web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "solutions". Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks biometrics and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Without content, you will lack paradigms. We will revalue our power to facilitate without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. Think sticky. Without infrastructures, you will lack content. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our solutions but our ability to e-enable. What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma, 24/7/365, resource-constrained, collaborative, real-time, bleeding-edge" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one, strategic, customer-directed. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to scale your end-to-end, out-of-the-box feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to morph "macro-strategically"? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? What does it really mean to reintermediate "cyber-intuitively"? If you synergize nano-virally, you may have to monetize intuitively. We will multiply our capacity to scale without decrementing our ability to morph. We will morph the term "dot-com". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Perl. What does it really mean to innovate "cyber-wirelessly"? Without subscriber communities, you will lack networks. If you innovate proactively, you may have to enhance seamlessly.