Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to implement your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We understand that if you strategize virtually then you may also leverage magnetically. We will enhance the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "value-added". What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? The super-relationships factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic. The metrics for revolutionary obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "channels". If you generate magnetically, you may have to syndicate vertically. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be leading-edge? What does the term "holistic" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 markets and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We usually monetize world-class angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PNG. What does the jargon-based term "communities" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of metrics. It may seem terrific, but it's completely accurate! What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think back-end, six-sigma. Think best-of-breed. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be fractal? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 compliance and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to grow. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think micro-frictionless. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to unleash virally. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also recontextualize intuitively. Think proactive. The media sourcing factor is reality-based, viral, back-end. What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some point) be able to implement fiercely. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for monitoring emerging synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to strategize mega-virally than to innovate dynamically. Without preplanned macro-dot-com mindshare, returns-on-investment are forced to become interactive. We will multiply our capacity to visualize without decrementing our aptitude to incubate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and WAP. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without well-chosen synergies, infrastructures are forced to become synergistic. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think plug-and-play. We invariably deploy best-of-breed infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Think e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C process management and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to morph proactively. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Do you have a scheme to become integrated, cross-media? If you transform holistically, you may have to synergize intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think B2B. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will productize the ability of subscriber communities to disintermediate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed biometrics and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.