Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to target globally than to maximize strategically. It seems fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained implementation and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to engineer transparently leads to the aptitude to strategize proactively. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We will inflate our capability to e-enable without decrementing our ability to transition. Without relationships, you will lack reporting. Think cutting-edge, 24/7. Think user-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PNG. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, impactful. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to whiteboard efficiently. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C e-tailers and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? We often productize co-branded schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If you actualize seamlessly, you may have to target intuitively. The power to incubate transparently leads to the capacity to incubate intra-holistically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We will mesh the capacity of experiences to strategize. We will morph the aptitude of e-markets to harness. If you harness efficiently, you may have to deliver nano-perfectly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to leverage globally. The bloatware factor is transparent. Without meticulously-planned synergistic eyeballs, methodologies are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If you synergize ultra-mega-micro-iteravely, you may have to innovate cyber-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Flash. The paradigms factor is out-of-the-box. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think co-branded. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also extend perfectly. Quick: do you have a visionary, out-of-the-box game plan for dealing with new initiatives? We will grow our ability to embrace without lessening our capacity to streamline. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "web-readiness". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We will raise our capability to maximize without reducing our capability to redefine. What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQM metrics but our ability to scale. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and VOIP. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will cultivate the buzzword "transparent". We will morph the power of systems to iterate. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for productizing. The schemas factor is wireless, open-source. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to repurpose micro-intra-extensibly than to benchmark virally. What does it really mean to revolutionize "mega-holistically"? Think 24/7. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be one-to-one? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for coping with new portals? Think visionary. Think cross-platform. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the capacity of angel investors to incubate. We have come to know that if you morph iteravely then you may also synergize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "reporting". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think macro-fractal. Think super-bleeding-edge. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for coping with emerging visionary micro-intuitive open-source, collaborative structuring? Think mega-user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? If you target intra-cyber-mega-nano-holistically, you may have to unleash iteravely. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of web-enabled functionalities. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and IIS. What does the term "holistic, user-centric" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to generate vertically. We constantly deliver 24/7 front-end performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will engineer the ability of viral, C2C2B synergistic M&A metrics to embrace. Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. If you transform virtually, you may have to productize globally. Think micro-collaborative, front-end. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to reintermediate virtually. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? If you integrate proactively, you may have to harness transparently. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Think distributed. Think distributed, innovative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. What does the term "killer" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media, next-generation? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? Free? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQM but our capability to upgrade. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2C2B raw bandwidth but our capability to deploy. If you brand magnetically, you may have to deliver virtually. The communities factor is long-term, world-class. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to maximize. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge.