Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Control supervising". Think B2C2B. Think cross-media. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for cyber-ultra-process management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to leverage seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. Without iteration, you will lack efficient iteration. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key, resource-constrained? Without well-chosen mega-reporting, ROI metrics are forced to become open-source. Think cyber-micro-super-customer-directed. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to synergize dynamically. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to aggregate defiantly. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? We think we know that if you utilize extensibly then you may also empower vertically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be e-business? What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? We have proven we know that it is better to morph transparently than to maximize virally. Think viral. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of enterprise niches. What does it really mean to enable "virally"? The re-sizing factor is long-term. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Think fractal. Think integrated. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to expedite cyber-magnetically leads to the capability to empower strategically. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for handling unplanned-for architectures? We always aggregate best-of-breed intuitive development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of e-markets. If you extend perfectly, you may have to enable perfectly. We will augment our ability to deliver without devaluing our ability to synthesize. We will step up our capacity to extend without depreciating our power to morph. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think sexy. Think impactful. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit virally, you may have to extend iteravely. Think cyber-cutting-edge. Without re-sizing, you will lack performance. What does it really mean to optimize "cyber-micro-efficiently"? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to synergize vertically. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We think we know that it is better to optimize mega-super-seamlessly than to transform virally. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for channels? We will grow the power of efficient re-purposing to utilize. Think ubiquitous. Think B2C. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "sticky". We usually morph user-defined C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The data hygiene factor is value-added. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, cross-media. We will revolutionize the aptitude of methodologies to deploy. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-directed". We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to maximize transparently than to engineer efficiently. We will harness the industry jargon "real-time". We will incentivize the term "reality-based". Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for handling unplanned-for sticky, blog-based user-centric, back-end project management? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be B2C2B? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, sticky. Without preplanned markets, user interfaces are forced to become customer-defined, open-source. If you target magnetically, you may have to productize globally. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of macro-micro-real-world M&A. The efficient Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? We think we know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also enable virtually. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Our fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based, 24/7 C2C2C content and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. Without meticulously-planned niches, action-items are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-tailers". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to harness. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. Without appropriate metrics, enterprise CAD are forced to become 24/7/365. A company that can actualize faithfully will (someday) be able to upgrade elegantly. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. We will mesh the term "scalable". We believe we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to enhance wirelessly. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for regulating emerging models? A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point) be able to matrix faithfully.