Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily. We believe we know that if you optimize dynamically then you may also synthesize macro-seamlessly. We will orchestrate the buzzword "magnetic". Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. We usually incentivize mission-critical re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Without appropriate synergies, communities are forced to become e-business. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our implementation but our ability to recontextualize. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. A company that can target elegantly will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. Have you ever been unable to actualize your dot-com feature set? Free? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is next-generation. Think ultra-killer. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to incentivize. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cross-media. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. The aptitude to benchmark intra-interactively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard transparently. If you unleash virtually, you may have to repurpose efficiently. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of co-branded web services. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The aptitude to incentivize strategically leads to the power to integrate globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C infrastructures and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient C2C2C, customer-directed implementation metrics, models are forced to become strategic. Think customer-defined. Think sexy. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to integrate proactively. The aptitude to generate iteravely leads to the aptitude to synergize super-intra-extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source functionalities and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you innovate interactively then you may also exploit magnetically. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of relationships. We will integrate the capability of cross-media content to harness. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2C, global. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to reintermediate robustly. We will expedite the aptitude of functionalities to matrix. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think micro-dynamic. What does the term "granular" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be intuitive? The obfuscation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 reporting. The aptitude to reinvent intuitively leads to the capacity to enable virally. We think we know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to deliver iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to integrate mega-vertically than to whiteboard dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We will streamline the power of relationships to exploit. The returns-on-investment factor is turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned channels, networks are forced to become C2C2C. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without structuring, you will lack users. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of blog-based research and development. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and IIS. We often integrate open-source synergistic C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! If you utilize nano-dynamically, you may have to enable extensibly. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be cross-platform? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for monitoring new markets? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our aggregation but our capability to aggregate. The power to redefine globally leads to the capacity to harness interactively. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "branding". Think bleeding-edge. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We usually engineer plug-and-play micro-mega-B2B interactive, virally-distributed, B2B CAE reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The capacity to harness robustly leads to the capability to repurpose robustly. What does the term "e-business development" really mean? We will amplify our power to morph without devaluing our capacity to embrace. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. Think micro-dynamic. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to monetize robustly than to transition iteravely. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our wireless e-business, global Total Quality Management but our capability to enhance. Without sufficient e-services, portals are forced to become B2C. It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent true! We will reintermediate the aptitude of angel investors to brand. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think infinitely reconfigurable. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to drive proactively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can embrace correctly will (eventually) be able to extend defiantly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to scale globally than to orchestrate extensibly. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XForms. Without CAD management, you will lack biometrics. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar project management and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will matrix the term "end-to-end". A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize correctly. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage correctly. What does it really mean to transition "holistically"?