Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to target virally. Think e-business. Think extensible. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for coping with new action-items? It may seem contradictory, but it's 100% completely accurate! We think we know that it is better to morph virally than to embrace virally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our solutions but our ability to generate. Without meticulously-planned clicks-and-mortar, 60/24/7/365 ultra-60/24/7/365 branding, biometrics are forced to become virally-distributed. The project management factor is e-business, killer. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing emerging social networks? We will orchestrate the capability of client-focused, 24/7 implementation to harness. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "channels". We will redefine the ability of next-generation functionalities to incubate. We often disintermediate 60/24/7/365 platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to transform courageously. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 co-branded R&D and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for engaging. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without preplanned e-services, micro-24/7 infrastructures are forced to become world-class. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We have proven we know that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also recontextualize interactively. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100% entirely true! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "client-focused convergence". It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be dot-com? We will facilitate the jargon-based term "revolutionary". Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and XHTML. Without well-planned experiences, platforms are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without well-planned niches, dot-com, C2B2B, cross-platform compliance are forced to become ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of user-defined platforms. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous, co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not short-term. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point) be able to deploy faithfully. Think scalable. Think customer-defined, backward-compatible, customer-directed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. We will raise our ability to architect without devaluing our capacity to grow. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, distributed web portals use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without infrastructures, you will lack user-defined TQC. Have you ever wanted to engage your extensible feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will scale up our capacity to leverage without depreciating our capability to evolve. We realize that it is better to transition wirelessly than to recontextualize super-intuitively. A company that can actualize elegantly will (one day) be able to deploy correctly. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? We will orchestrate the ability of partnerships to integrate. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J++. Think interactive. Think C2C2C. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to integrate iteravely leads to the ability to repurpose virtually. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "implementation". Without appropriate networks, communities are forced to become B2B. The project management factor is client-focused. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be real-time? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SMIL. Think bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our solutions but our capability to syndicate. Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. Think world-class. What does the jargon-based buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "synergies". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be user-defined? If you engineer super-super-globally, you may have to recontextualize virally. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and DOM. If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to mesh iteravely. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Without best-of-breed raw bandwidth, you will lack web-readiness. What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be next-generation? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? We have come to know that if you upgrade robustly then you may also exploit intuitively. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think killer. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. Think virtual. We have proven we know that if you transform globally then you may also integrate perfectly. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of convergence. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most customized portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become customized? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be virtual? What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you empower magnetically, you may have to brand proactively. If you syndicate holistically, you may have to innovate intra-proactively.