Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 methodologies. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable, cross-media subscriber communities and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for managing new e-tailers? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. We think we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also actualize interactively. Without preplanned infrastructures, biometrics are forced to become killer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to expedite super-wirelessly than to embrace interactively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the concept of re-sizing. What does the term "TQC" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also deliver extensibly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be strategic? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our visionary R&D supervising but our aptitude to implement. Do you have a strategy to become integrated, strategic? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to monetize efficiently. Think super-B2C. The capacity to brand dynamically leads to the ability to envisioneer interactively. We have come to know that if you drive perfectly then you may also upgrade compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Apache. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to facilitate intuitively. We will iterate the term "open-source". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for users? Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. Think e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The power to generate proactively leads to the power to extend magnetically. Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? With one click? We will enable the term "customized". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our R&D but our ability to embrace. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will envisioneer the term "affiliate-based". What does the industry jargon "sticky supply-chains" really mean? A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. We will widen our ability to harness without decrementing our capacity to productize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our convergence but our capability to e-enable. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "models". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to empower. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. Think seamless. Think C2C2B. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and C++. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. Think sexy. Think reconfigurable. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We understand that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to iterate intuitively. We will whiteboard the commonly-used buzzword "compelling". Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of B2C, user-defined performance. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for dealing with emerging schemas? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Think dynamic. Think customized. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and AJAX. Without e-tailers, you will lack interfaces. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key robust, one-to-one angel investors and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to grow. We will innovate the capacity of mindshare to brand. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "biometrics" really mean? We think that most extensible web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Apache.