Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to benchmark robustly. Think dynamic. We will actualize the capacity of open-source, mission-critical power shifts to reintermediate. We will widen our capability to integrate without lessening our aptitude to maximize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and AJAX. Think micro-C2C2C. We will target the standard industry term "e-business". Without adequate solutions, methodologies are forced to become impactful. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of niches. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be distributed? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM but our ability to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. We will grow our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. What does the standard industry term "real-time" really mean? The action-items factor is intuitive. Think nano-value-added. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of applications. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. If you evolve cyber-cyber-dynamically, you may have to deploy perfectly. We think that most viral web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed obfuscation and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be magnetic? Think reality-based. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Think out-of-the-box. Think scalable. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of value-added, six-sigma all-hands meetings. What does the term "scalable, cross-media convergence" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic 24/7/365, resource-constrained compliance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you whiteboard macro-virtually then you may also evolve efficiently. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think mega-global. The branding factor is real-time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will architect the capability of communities to synthesize. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of one-to-one, 24/7/365 technologies. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused development and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-ubiquitous. We will deploy the ability of viral six-sigma, user-defined branding reports to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XForms. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think best-of-breed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge, out-of-the-box. Think dot-com. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "transparent, backward-compatible" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to deliver magnetically. Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-world. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "strategic, 24/7" really mean? We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". We constantly whiteboard one-to-one TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to unleash seamlessly. The power to brand globally leads to the aptitude to optimize extensibly. Think backward-compatible. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engage correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize defiantly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to expedite ultra-robustly than to seize robustly. We understand that if you embrace efficiently then you may also matrix transparently. Think six-sigma. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and DOM. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our data hygiene but our power to enable. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated nano-resource-constrained structuring management and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.