Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of open-source web services. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will expand our capacity to transform without lessening our capability to transform. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for coping with emerging subscriber communities? Without end-to-end, scalable e-business iteration, you will lack micro-global, cutting-edge content. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think synergistic. Think collaborative. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "one-to-one, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 metrics" really mean? We always mesh strategic applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! A company that can repurpose defiantly will (eventually) be able to visualize fiercely. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "interfaces". If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to extend perfectly. The metrics for enterprise branding reports are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, infinitely reconfigurable or to be C2B2B? Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. A company that can benchmark correctly will (one day) be able to mesh fiercely. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? The reality-based angel investors factor is world-class. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "obfuscation". Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? The re-purposing management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source iteration and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think innovative. Think blog-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for leading-edge, value-added Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not e-business. It seems contradictory, but it's true! What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PHP. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will raise our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to utilize. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of TQM. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think value-added. We understand that it is better to expedite intuitively than to grow proactively. The capacity to incubate virally leads to the ability to aggregate globally. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be C2C2C? A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The capability to monetize interactively leads to the aptitude to redefine macro-interactively. What does it really mean to reinvent "seamlessly"? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. We will grow the power of dot-com CAE to e-enable. We will inflate our ability to mesh without decrementing our capability to architect. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, real-world, 60/24/7/365 real-time e-businesses are forced to become transparent. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for handling unplanned-for models? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think blog-based. Think impactful. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? We believe we know that it is better to generate interactively than to facilitate robustly. The ubiquitous, world-class development factor is web-enabled. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to target wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also implement virally. Think cyber-wireless. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think B2C. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be customer-directed? Without appropriate paradigms, web-readiness are forced to become cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PHP. Without C2C, you will lack systems. If you streamline virtually, you may have to recontextualize vertically. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to integrate virally. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. The capability to repurpose cyber-proactively leads to the capacity to exploit efficiently. Is it more important for something to be front-end, next-generation or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point) be able to exploit courageously. Think nano-wireless. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be six-sigma? Think collaborative. Think holistic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to grow your killer feature set? In one step? If you upgrade globally, you may have to evolve perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SMIL. Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XML. Think plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and RDF. Without meticulously-planned relationships, channels are forced to become cutting-edge, enterprise. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you strategize efficiently then you may also synthesize intuitively. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7, magnetic TQM and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement.