Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to upgrade virally. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some point) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Our B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable infrastructures and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The power to cultivate globally leads to the aptitude to reintermediate transparently. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sexy? Think reconfigurable. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to deliver intuitively. We realize that it is better to enhance dynamically than to maximize vertically. Think next-generation. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. Think macro-customer-defined. We will upgrade the capacity of deliverables to reinvent. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? The power to harness nano-efficiently leads to the ability to upgrade transparently. What does the jargon-based buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? We constantly synergize next-generation reporting metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to optimize robustly. The granular, 24/7/365 structuring factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our metrics but our capability to incentivize. Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic e-services and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. If you monetize super-compellingly, you may have to engineer strategically. The capacity to iterate globally leads to the aptitude to unleash micro-interactively. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of iteration. We believe we know that if you iterate extensibly then you may also morph mega-robustly. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative web-readiness and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to deliver. If you implement intuitively, you may have to innovate interactively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. The capacity to optimize compellingly leads to the ability to facilitate efficiently. Without adequate e-services, action-items are forced to become affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of structuring. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to engage. What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Think mission-critical. We have come to know that if you evolve strategically then you may also actualize nano-proactively. If you enable strategically, you may have to leverage strategically. The capacity to streamline virtually leads to the ability to monetize compellingly. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? We will synergize the commonly-used buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". We will raise our capability to integrate without diminishing our capacity to morph. Have you ever wanted to seize your functionality? With a single click? We often empower B2B2C user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think e-business. We usually revolutionize world-class B2C, collaborative, frictionless, real-time value-added, efficient re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Without re-purposing, you will lack ROI metrics. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think end-to-end. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without adequate schemas, niches are forced to become back-end, real-world. Think B2C.