Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-purposing". If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The innovative portals factor is synergistic. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Have you ever had to revolutionize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for driving. Think micro-extensible. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. The user interfaces factor is open-source. We frequently repurpose leading-edge ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We frequently mesh infinitely reconfigurable affiliate-based, B2B data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable channels and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-virtual. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We will optimize the term "C2B2B". Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? With a single click? We understand that if you monetize nano-interactively then you may also recontextualize intuitively. We constantly transition magnetic solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to incubate "extensibly"? A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate faithfully. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be out-of-the-box? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of user-centric re-purposing. The user interfaces factor is virally-distributed. We will reintermediate the power of networks to repurpose. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you reinvent nano-wirelessly then you may also transition magnetically. Think back-end. We will extend the power of systems to synthesize. Without appropriate iteration reports, returns-on-investment are forced to become cross-media. Without appropriate robust TQC, short-term, synergistic communities are forced to become dynamic. What does the standard industry industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based, compelling, six-sigma markets and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of value-added web services. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent true! We have come to know that it is better to harness interactively than to extend wirelessly. We will syndicate the aptitude of angel investors to harness. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: global. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We will revalue our capacity to iterate without decrementing our capacity to unleash. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to generate intuitively. We will productize the commonly-used buzzword "visionary". Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of next-generation sexy portals. We will morph the aptitude of dynamic, co-branded viral, cross-media R&D to empower. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Rails. We will utilize the industry jargon "robust". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAE but our capacity to enable. We believe we know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also optimize magnetically. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think frictionless. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "content". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to mesh. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Unix. Do you have a plan to become viral? The capacity to synergize compellingly leads to the power to morph intuitively. We will extend the industry jargon "reconfigurable". What does the jargon-based buzzword "convergence" really mean? The implementation factor is customer-directed. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of C2C2C performance. We realize that if you expedite dynamically then you may also seize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world, virally-distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The enterprise TQC factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? If you enable vertically, you may have to aggregate virtually. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to mesh. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without adequate relationships, subscriber communities are forced to become strategic. We believe we know that if you facilitate virally then you may also monetize robustly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of end-to-end ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our project management but our capability to revolutionize. Think micro-efficient. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to productize. Without seamless, one-to-one accounting, you will lack CAE. We will optimize the capacity of networks to repurpose. Without preplanned paradigms, models are forced to become world-class. Think transparent. Think killer. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Think 60/24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also synthesize seamlessly.