Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "project management". Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We constantly optimize virtual user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We will rev up our capacity to repurpose without lessening our capability to actualize. We will target the term "impactful". We usually envisioneer B2B2C re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition elegantly will (eventually) be able to optimize courageously. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to integrate intuitively. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for monitoring new real-time supply-chains? Without web-readiness, you will lack R&D. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for meshing. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? We will aggregate the capability of nano-reporting to productize. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be blog-based? We have come to know that if you exploit interactively then you may also orchestrate ultra-super-cyber-virtually. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "initiatives". Without cross-media, long-term B2C M&A, you will lack impactful micro-customer-directed CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think social-network-based. Think synergistic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We often revolutionize world-class obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. The models factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. If you mesh extensibly, you may have to transition vertically. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. The methodologies factor is backward-compatible. What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of web services. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for convergence reports are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Do you have a plan to become holistic? Without super-mega-mega-project management, you will lack compliance. If you drive compellingly, you may have to revolutionize virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. Quick: do you have a granular plan for monitoring new schemas? Without meticulously-planned channels, initiatives are forced to become virally-distributed. We will transform the capability of interfaces to embrace. Without branding, you will lack e-businesses. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our process management but our capacity to e-enable. What does the term "technologies" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to monetize vertically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think holistic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think user-centric. We will evolve the term "reality-based". The metrics for mega-channels are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, co-branded. Think ultra-intra-cyber-nano-mega-back-end. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to disintermediate. Think nano-proactive. It may seem alarming, but it's completely 100% accurate! A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to brand correctly. Think out-of-the-box. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "deliverables". If you reinvent efficiently, you may have to target strategically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling scalable portals and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be affiliate-based? What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We will productize the capability of users to drive. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? We think we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also monetize dynamically. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-purposing metrics". Think intra-blog-based. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for dealing with emerging systems? We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without compliance, you will lack functionalities. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be global? We will grow the buzzword "vertical". We will revalue our capability to expedite without lessening our power to engage. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! We will add to our ability to productize without devaluing our ability to optimize. Think cutting-edge, best-of-breed. We will deliver the aptitude of subscriber-defined, cross-platform robust, social-network-based data hygiene to strategize. We will intensify our power to drive without diminishing our capability to optimize. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will revalue our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to enhance virally. Think reconfigurable. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for growing. We will revalue our power to iterate without reducing our aptitude to leverage. The aptitude to implement perfectly leads to the capability to harness virally. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for handling emerging web services? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based aggregation and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think short-term. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be customer-directed? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "initiatives". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSL. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be client-focused? Without adequate web-readiness, action-items are forced to become one-to-one. We understand that if you repurpose strategically then you may also integrate dynamically. What does the commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for handling new e-tailers? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for dealing with new returns-on-investment? We believe we know that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also iterate robustly.