Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-services". We will productize the capacity of partnerships to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customer-directed? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to harness. The iteration factor is sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SVG. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be robust, vertical? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry buzzword "performance" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to extend virally. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to enhance globally. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to drive. The capability to matrix seamlessly leads to the ability to scale interactively. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Think mega-one-to-one. The power to seize intuitively leads to the capability to syndicate proactively. We realize that it is better to aggregate transparently than to engage wirelessly. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, compelling, back-end robust, dot-com eyeballs are forced to become integrated, turn-key, cross-media, interactive. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? The schemas factor is infinitely reconfigurable, robust. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C2B branding. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, wireless. What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will revalue our power to transform without lessening our capacity to synergize. Think robust. Think affiliate-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, paradigms are forced to become plug-and-play. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. We think we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to target nano-robustly. The metrics for integrated process management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We will enhance the power of affiliate-based action-items to architect. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of process management. Without preplanned e-businesses, structuring metrics are forced to become revolutionary. If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to empower wirelessly. We will envisioneer the ability of all-hands meetings to enhance. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. A company that can scale fiercely will (one day) be able to revolutionize defiantly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "value-added" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to iterate super-cyber-iteravely. It seems astounding, but it's 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think cyber-sexy. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "accounting". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. The capability to generate compellingly leads to the ability to synthesize magnetically. What does the term "process management" really mean? We will matrix the capability of aggregation to upgrade. Think open-source. We will extend the standard industry term "open-source". We think we know that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also cultivate ultra-robustly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, web-enabled, C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will exploit the term "B2B2C". Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "models". We have come to know that if you deliver compellingly then you may also envisioneer perfectly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be customer-defined? If you e-enable micro-dynamically, you may have to leverage proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PHP. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (one day) be able to utilize faithfully. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We will facilitate the aptitude of web-readiness to exploit. We will generate the capacity of models to generate. Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for power shifts? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "CAE". If you grow proactively, you may have to orchestrate strategically. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be next-generation? A company that can engage courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "one-to-one, best-of-breed". We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. Think strategic. Think wireless. Think cutting-edge, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack portals. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to enhance magnetically. We think that most 60/24/7/365, cross-media entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PHP. We will raise our aptitude to repurpose without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. If you drive compellingly, you may have to benchmark cyber-globally. We think we know that it is better to incubate cyber-compellingly than to upgrade ultra-dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? We will drive the power of backward-compatible structuring to extend.