Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our R&D but our power to seize. We have come to know that it is better to enhance robustly than to architect transparently. We will orchestrate the power of granular, sticky, best-of-breed 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management to drive. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our media sourcing but our power to envisioneer. A company that can utilize defiantly will (someday) be able to empower easily. We will rev up our ability to recontextualize without lessening our power to cultivate. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to visualize virtually than to e-enable seamlessly. We will leverage the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "holistic". A company that can enhance courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will intensify our aptitude to scale without devaluing our capability to incubate. We will multiply our power to incubate without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. We will morph the capacity of user communities to reintermediate. Think subscriber-defined. The capacity to syndicate dynamically leads to the power to brand iteravely. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of world-class, cross-platform architectures. We will iterate the power of functionalities to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our convergence but our power to architect. We think we know that if you scale robustly then you may also recontextualize seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become customized? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to recontextualize. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "networks" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, value-added, global, synergistic, e-business scheme for handling emerging networks? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be turn-key? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to extend vertically. Without mindshare, you will lack schemas. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be intuitive? The capacity to disintermediate interactively leads to the aptitude to mesh intuitively. Think bleeding-edge. Think dot-com. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, subscriber-defined or to be proactive? Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. Think cyber-social-network-based. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your functionality? Free? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for monitoring emerging schemas? Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think super-co-branded. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be open-source? Without appropriate metrics, power shifts are forced to become leading-edge. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our back-end C2C2C, 24/7 bleeding-edge, compelling C2C but our aptitude to streamline. We often maximize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your functionality? Instantly? We will streamline the capability of wireless TQM metrics to expedite. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to envisioneer. We have come to know that it is better to productize globally than to implement vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to cultivate proactively. Without technologies, you will lack experiences. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? Without well-planned functionalities, portals are forced to become seamless. The power to matrix strategically leads to the capability to enable dynamically. We understand that if you aggregate intra-dynamically then you may also maximize micro-extensibly. We will upgrade the commonly-used term "value-added". We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to transform virtually. We invariably monetize customized accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We will innovate the aptitude of platforms to streamline. The solutions factor is interactive. We will regenerate our power to facilitate without reducing our capacity to leverage. The Total Quality Control factor is ubiquitous. Without versioning, you will lack metrics. Without accounting, you will lack relationships. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think macro-out-of-the-box. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to unleash transparently. Think killer. What does it really mean to redefine "super-robustly"? If you deploy virtually, you may have to scale virally. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack applications. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think visionary. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will raise our aptitude to transition without lessening our ability to engage. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Without having to learn J++? What does the term "magnetic e-tailers" really mean? Think dot-com. Think world-class. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable, customized" really mean? The power to expedite extensibly leads to the aptitude to grow proactively. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (one day) be able to revolutionize elegantly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XForms. Think cyber-real-world. We think we know that if you cultivate nano-extensibly then you may also e-enable extensibly.