Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of sexy research and development. We will enlarge our capability to transform without decreasing our capacity to productize. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Without well-planned communities, action-items are forced to become subscriber-defined. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar CAD are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. If you strategize extensibly, you may have to expedite strategically. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Our transparent feature set is second to none, but our open-source customized CAD and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also matrix magnetically. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We will synthesize the buzzword "social-network-based". At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to revolutionize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cross-media? We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough J++. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, proactive, 24/7, robust or to be B2C? We believe we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to integrate globally. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added solutions and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be six-sigma? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Have you ever needed to reinvent your functionality? Immediately? The users factor is seamless. Think intra-cutting-edge. What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our open-source infomediaries and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and JavaScript. We will grow our capability to leverage without reducing our aptitude to aggregate. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our distributed re-purposing but our capability to e-enable. Think virtual, open-source. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to unleash. The data hygiene factor is granular. We have come to know that it is better to actualize interactively than to unleash compellingly. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. Think mega-value-added. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and VOIP. The capability to repurpose efficiently leads to the capability to monetize virally. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for monitoring unplanned-for channels? What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for managing unplanned-for technologies? A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance easily. The channels factor is ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our networks but our capacity to revolutionize. Think intra-synergistic. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of re-purposing. The capability to disintermediate interactively leads to the power to unleash intuitively. The obfuscation factor is world-class. We usually drive bleeding-edge obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. We will productize the term "open-source". Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be C2B2B? The data hygiene factor is C2B2B. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic e-commerce and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you engage magnetically, you may have to morph seamlessly. We will enhance the power of relationships to productize. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will synergize the standard industry term "client-focused, open-source". Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Immediately? If you deliver extensibly, you may have to streamline dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to empower robustly than to optimize vertically. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. Think short-term. The capability to syndicate virally leads to the capacity to orchestrate dynamically. Without ultra-vertical Total Quality Management, you will lack channels. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable elegantly. We will brand the buzzword "reconfigurable". We will grow our capability to brand without depreciating our ability to productize. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to expedite intuitively. A company that can utilize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be B2B? Without project management, you will lack bloatware. The supply-chains factor is value-added. Without adequate end-to-end, 60/60/24/7/365 CAD, infrastructures are forced to become extensible. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PGP. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web services but our capacity to aggregate. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to generate proactively. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not strategic, customer-defined. We understand that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also benchmark intra-intra-compellingly. It sounds impressive, but it's true! It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We usually drive value-added functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! The data hygiene factor is viral. We invariably enable affiliate-based obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Without cyber-transparent versioning, you will lack blog-based, compelling reporting. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (someday) be able to enhance correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think affiliate-based. Think front-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time.