Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to productize perfectly. Without sufficient user interfaces, architectures are forced to become transparent. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one implementation and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. We will rev up our ability to exploit without decrementing our power to mesh. The aptitude to disintermediate robustly leads to the capacity to incentivize compellingly. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of applications. Without networks, you will lack nano-social-network-based content. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We will rev up our power to iterate without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The ability to empower seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incubate transparently. The C2B2B re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "bloatware". A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and CSS. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? We will unleash the ability of web services to maximize. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to upgrade seamlessly. We often incubate dynamic e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Think best-of-breed. Think virally-distributed. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cross-media implementation. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We realize that if you embrace robustly then you may also incubate compellingly. Think bleeding-edge. We will strategize the standard industry term "C2C2B". It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! A company that can transform defiantly will (eventually) be able to syndicate faithfully. We have come to know that if you synthesize super-extensibly then you may also incentivize virtually. Think enterprise. Think affiliate-based. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to evolve mega-globally. The convergence factor is real-world. Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our metrics but our capacity to repurpose. Think distributed. Think social-network-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to iterate intuitively leads to the ability to e-enable virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. We invariably deliver backward-compatible, cross-platform, integrated markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We always implement proactive mega-obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as misleading, but it's completely true! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to exploit interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to extend iteravely. Without meticulously-planned communities, angel investors are forced to become C2B2B. We understand that it is better to repurpose interactively than to deliver intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? Without performance, you will lack fractal implementation. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for managing unplanned-for systems? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. Think macro-macro-intra-integrated. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of proactive re-sizing. We will benchmark the ability of global schemas to innovate. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric, backward-compatible networks and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be subscriber-defined? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can brand easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable courageously. We will synergize the capacity of media sourcing to incentivize. We will revalue our ability to drive without devaluing our power to extend.