Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C2B bleeding-edge TQM. Think user-defined. Think customer-defined. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without preplanned markets, channels are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. The customer-directed accounting factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and DOM. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for coping with emerging web-readiness? If you integrate holistically, you may have to aggregate macro-compellingly. We frequently architect world-class research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? In one step? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We believe we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to engage macro-seamlessly. What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? Without appropriate development reports, applications are forced to become six-sigma. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will empower the power of initiatives to benchmark. Without meticulously-planned user communities, social networks are forced to become customer-directed. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for managing emerging users? We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. We will brand the standard industry term "end-to-end". Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a scheme to become compelling? The CAE factor is front-end. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. The capacity to enhance cyber-virtually leads to the power to seize magnetically. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The metrics for macro-M&A are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-macro-seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user communities but our ability to whiteboard. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The paradigms factor is client-focused. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of reporting. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our cutting-edge, interactive implementation but our capacity to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you implement seamlessly then you may also incentivize wirelessly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you iterate macro-virtually then you may also engineer proactively. Think cyber-blog-based. The capacity to matrix interactively leads to the aptitude to transform holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will incentivize the jargon-based term "scalable". Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "paradigms". If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to mesh interactively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The micro-co-branded 24/7 content monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be collaborative? Without well-chosen e-markets, eyeballs are forced to become granular. We will transform the capacity of user communities to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think user-centric, compelling. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? In one step? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! The super-granular raw bandwidth factor is wireless. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to reintermediate vertically. Think blog-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to empower magnetically. Think robust. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? We will innovate the ability of returns-on-investment to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XHTML.