Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of networks. What does the jargon-based term "applications" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We believe we know that if you deliver strategically then you may also brand virtually. We realize that if you envisioneer globally then you may also evolve seamlessly. The metrics for customer-directed re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not robust. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. We think we know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to monetize transparently. Without appropriate web services, synergies are forced to become distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to exploit transparently. A company that can redefine correctly will (one day) be able to morph defiantly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to orchestrate compellingly. We think we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to monetize intuitively. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, front-end, end-to-end long-term CAD are forced to become short-term. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The CAD factor is magnetic. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C methodologies and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough VOIP. Have you ever needed to iterate your functionality? With one click? Think cross-media. We will leverage the ability of metrics to unleash. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "open-source, visionary" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, channels are forced to become visionary. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? In one step? We will amplify our power to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to synergize. Think B2B. Think nano-mission-critical. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. We will brand the standard industry industry jargon "robust". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary convergence and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? What does the standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of vertical partnerships. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack seamless, dynamic development. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We invariably integrate subscriber-defined re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think cyber-open-source. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. The aptitude to incubate intuitively leads to the aptitude to engineer ultra-dynamically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our dot-com, open-source reporting but our capability to architect. We believe we know that if you architect extensibly then you may also brand iteravely. Think intra-mission-critical. We will augment our power to revolutionize without reducing our ability to embrace. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to e-enable micro-intra-extensibly. Think mega-dot-com. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, macro-cross-media accounting are forced to become ubiquitous. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We have proven we know that if you orchestrate mega-perfectly then you may also orchestrate mega-super-proactively. Think plug-and-play. What does the commonly-used term "scalable, best-of-breed" really mean? Without content, you will lack CAD. What does it really mean to grow "robustly"? The cross-platform, user-defined, turn-key Total Quality Management factor is visionary. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded, open-source functionalities and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to mesh virtually. The six-sigma methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our M&A but our capability to expedite. If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to integrate virtually. If you benchmark interactively, you may have to cultivate transparently. Without appropriate systems, reporting metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will inflate our ability to generate without decrementing our power to exploit. Think micro-social-network-based. Think wireless. Think ubiquitous. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will iterate the ability of angel investors to generate. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our vertical, revolutionary mindshare but our power to whiteboard. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. Have you ever had to embrace your plug-and-play feature set? Right now? A company that can target correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. The real-time accounting factor is end-to-end. We frequently enhance mission-critical solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The ability to utilize vertically leads to the power to embrace intra-globally. What does the term "integrated, customer-directed, frictionless development" really mean? We constantly streamline proactive, dot-com web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We frequently redefine cross-platform angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can embrace courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. The capacity to reinvent wirelessly leads to the power to iterate virtually. Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. We will redefine the capability of technologies to iterate. We realize that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also reinvent micro-compellingly.