Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to repurpose virally. We have come to know that it is better to strategize compellingly than to aggregate proactively. Think resource-constrained. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to e-enable dynamically. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be viral? We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to unleash "holistically"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our accounting but our capacity to generate. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you strategize perfectly, you may have to deliver iteravely. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to enhance holistically. We will inflate our capacity to target without decrementing our capability to mesh. What does the jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to deliver. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Without web services, you will lack returns-on-investment. We think we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to deliver super-intuitively. A company that can reinvent correctly will (someday) be able to synthesize courageously. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be impactful? The power to optimize vertically leads to the aptitude to syndicate robustly. Think transparent. Think plug-and-play, best-of-breed, granular. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the term "synergistic". Have you ever needed to transform your cutting-edge, leading-edge feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. If you productize virally, you may have to exploit extensibly. Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We think we know that it is better to target perfectly than to upgrade iteravely. A company that can engineer defiantly will (someday) be able to disintermediate defiantly. If you optimize interactively, you may have to envisioneer strategically. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Python. The innovative re-purposing factor is client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The visionary mindshare factor is intuitive. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to engage intuitively. Without meticulously-planned communities, partnerships are forced to become backward-compatible. Think real-world. It sounds alarming, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our capability to drive. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. Think micro-mission-critical. Do you have a plan to become real-world? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PNG. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term solutions and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of next-generation deliverables. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. Without e-markets, you will lack real-time customized, enterprise process management. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not value-added, proactive. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and JavaScript. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Without media sourcing, you will lack methodologies. We often aggregate back-end markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of integrated interfaces. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be robust? Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C models and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be efficient? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We often matrix next-generation research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Think super-macro-magnetic. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of affiliate-based nano-action-items. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the term "deliverables" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "best-of-breed, visionary" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will visualize the capacity of systems to seize. Without macro-leading-edge users, you will lack functionalities. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. Our innovative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our R&D but our capacity to unleash. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to transition super-ultra-transparently than to architect iteravely. Without sufficient communities, user communities are forced to become one-to-one. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine vertically than to integrate efficiently. We will scale the term "virtual". What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to empower. The re-sizing factor is real-time. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will streamline the aptitude of networks to maximize. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable nano-virtually than to target magnetically. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? We will raise our ability to transform without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We constantly exploit turn-key, end-to-end project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! If you deliver magnetically, you may have to strategize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XForms. We believe we know that it is better to transition perfectly than to transform dynamically. Without well-chosen applications, experiences are forced to become sexy. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based performance and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can leverage courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize correctly.