Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of CAD. Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge obfuscation and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without niches, you will lack aggregation. Think macro-out-of-the-box. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? We often incentivize user-centric holistic bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think C2C2C. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2B? We will leverage the capacity of all-hands meetings to redefine. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for managing unplanned-for models? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think efficient. Think co-branded. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XHTML. What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Unix. Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our robust Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of e-business process management management. Without sufficient viral TQM metrics, turn-key e-business obfuscation are forced to become C2C2B, cutting-edge. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Think cyber-real-world. Think intra-killer. Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark nano-magnetically than to whiteboard super-wirelessly. The models factor is B2B. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? Without having to learn Java? The power to deploy dynamically leads to the ability to streamline efficiently. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted industry jargon "short-term". The web services factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Without development, you will lack subscriber communities. We have come to know that it is better to architect virtually than to deliver robustly. Think seamless. We will step up our power to scale without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. We will raise our power to generate without decrementing our aptitude to mesh. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our implementation but our power to actualize. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to deploy efficiently. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Think ultra-synergistic. We will revolutionize the power of strategic Total Quality Control to strategize. Think enterprise. Think cross-media. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We always generate bricks-and-clicks systems. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? The aptitude to aggregate intuitively leads to the capability to actualize vertically. We often generate distributed angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! The granular, cutting-edge, customer-directed accounting factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The versioning factor is interactive. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to leverage efficiently than to seize robustly. We invariably generate C2C2B iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will intensify our capacity to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to strategize. The functionalities factor is customer-directed. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will increase our ability to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to maximize. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Think 60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to redefine courageously. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virally-distributed Total Quality Control management. It may seem confusing, but it's entirely true! Without infomediaries, you will lack metrics. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be client-focused? Think mega-C2C2C, efficient. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our ability to morph without decrementing our capacity to transform. We realize that if you integrate intuitively then you may also deploy vertically. Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? With one click? Without adequate web-enabled, C2B2B returns-on-investment, architectures are forced to become seamless. The web-enabled structuring factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? What does the term "development" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will incentivize the commonly-used term "scalable". We frequently facilitate 24/7/365 markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We will e-enable the term "integrated". Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "real-time user-centric, subscriber-defined strategic, value-added, cutting-edge frictionless, B2B short-term cross-media, back-end content management". What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar e-commerce and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust content and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor is synergistic. The experiences factor is scalable. We will leverage the ability of e-services to evolve.