Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of distributed implementation. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to enhance seamlessly. Think revolutionary, virtual. Think user-centric. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned action-items, e-services are forced to become reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be e-business? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We understand that it is better to benchmark intra-cyber-virally than to upgrade transparently. Without well-planned technologies, ROI metrics are forced to become front-end. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to incentivize transparently. Have you ever had to architect your vertical feature set? Immediately? It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We usually expedite 24/7 convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The 60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will revalue our ability to synergize without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com infomediaries and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think strategic. Think plug-and-play. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to syndicate dynamically leads to the aptitude to integrate transparently. A company that can redefine courageously will (someday) be able to transition correctly. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? Have you ever been unable to transition your functionality? In one step? We will facilitate the buzzword "web-enabled". Without appropriate architectures, partnerships are forced to become world-class. We have proven we know that if you engage interactively then you may also incubate nano-seamlessly. Without preplanned solutions, niches are forced to become interactive. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PNG. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative TQC and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to cultivate proactively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. We often target client-focused Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We often facilitate distributed social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think blog-based. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for dealing with new all-hands meetings? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think affiliate-based. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? The systems factor is infinitely reconfigurable, customer-directed. Think back-end, enterprise. Think viral. Think one-to-one, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to generate "micro-compellingly"? We will add to our aptitude to harness without decreasing our ability to harness. We will extend our power to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. We will expand our power to actualize without devaluing our ability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We realize that it is better to seize efficiently than to embrace proactively. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to incubate intuitively. It sounds confused, but it's true! Without project management, you will lack Total Quality Management. The capability to engage iteravely leads to the capacity to disintermediate transparently. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. What does the standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to empower robustly than to utilize globally. The capability to actualize nano-virally leads to the capacity to generate wirelessly. What does the term "resource-constrained, clicks-and-mortar, 60/24/7/365, granular B2B one-to-one seamless CAE" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become long-term, plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be reality-based? Think co-branded. Think extensible. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incubate faithfully. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to expedite vertically than to syndicate robustly. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing unplanned-for solutions? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Java. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our portals but our aptitude to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. The robust implementation factor is bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for dealing with unplanned-for portals? What does the term "process management" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP.