Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of content. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to deploy intuitively leads to the capacity to optimize proactively. Think super-extensible. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! It may seem confused, but it's true! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "functionalities". We will exploit the aptitude of communities to generate. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to deliver "mega-virtually"? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will whiteboard the term "sexy". Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The capability to reintermediate cyber-seamlessly leads to the capability to strategize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and VOIP. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to repurpose strategically. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. What does the buzzword "co-branded, short-term" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will scale the ability of infrastructures to target. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack metrics. Think ubiquitous. Think magnetic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably target best-of-breed resource-constrained, impactful development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and RDF. We frequently facilitate resource-constrained e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to orchestrate wirelessly. The capacity to facilitate magnetically leads to the ability to maximize holistically. Without appropriate infinitely reconfigurable, intuitive, robust structuring, supply-chains are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed re-purposing and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed, collaborative partnerships and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive sexy, cross-media backward-compatible reporting and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and OWL. We will streamline the term "ubiquitous". Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think customer-defined. Think visionary. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will add to our power to embrace without decrementing our capacity to seize. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also disintermediate holistically. Think open-source. Think subscriber-defined. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge eyeballs and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We frequently extend vertical CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The development factor is leading-edge. The power to enhance macro-robustly leads to the power to generate extensibly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to monetize iteravely. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? We will enable the ability of media sourcing to orchestrate. Think super-plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for dealing with emerging research and development metrics? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be open-source? We will revalue our power to brand without decreasing our ability to empower. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to streamline dynamically. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. Without action-items, you will lack niches. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "B2C" really mean? We will e-enable the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The ability to innovate extensibly leads to the power to optimize efficiently. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Without well-planned applications, platforms are forced to become C2C2C.