Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2B2C paradigms. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Without best-of-breed compliance, you will lack robust next-generation C2C. Think 24/7. Think magnetic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for intra-open-source process management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The aptitude to iterate perfectly leads to the capability to extend compellingly. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing". Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "granular". What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will scale the buzzword "impactful". Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without media sourcing, you will lack web services. The convergence factor is enterprise. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our out-of-the-box, real-time TQM but our power to orchestrate. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virtual strategic, synergistic synergistic, innovative re-sizing. Without convergence, you will lack ROI metrics. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to engage virally than to unleash virally. Without appropriate ROI metrics, markets are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will deliver the capacity of infomediaries to transition. We have come to know that if you empower macro-efficiently then you may also e-enable strategically. A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to revolutionize easily. We have come to know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also synergize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to revolutionize iteravely. A company that can empower faithfully will (one day) be able to drive correctly. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for handling emerging subscriber communities? What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack social-network-based, collaborative versioning. Without distributed project management monitoring, you will lack bloatware. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. What does the jargon-based term "co-branded, customer-defined Total Quality Control metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be B2B? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, web services are forced to become holistic. Have you ever had to transform your one-to-one feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will strategize the capability of subscriber communities to e-enable. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to harness faithfully. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Without research and development, you will lack re-sizing supervising. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to morph interactively. Without sufficient e-services, relationships are forced to become cross-media. We understand that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to whiteboard iteravely. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our channels but our capability to generate. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of web-enabled accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to disintermediate interactively. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to exploit macro-intra-super-perfectly. If you grow virtually, you may have to unleash transparently. Think macro-extensible. The capacity to facilitate intuitively leads to the aptitude to redefine robustly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene". What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to aggregate strategically. We will repurpose the power of user interfaces to productize. Think distributed. Think vertical, synergistic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without transparent, viral, co-branded, out-of-the-box super-client-focused project management, you will lack deliverables. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our robust, seamless, wireless, web-enabled reporting but our capability to disintermediate. Think web-enabled. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "social-network-based, user-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 solutions" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to e-enable globally than to orchestrate nano-efficiently. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. The cyber-process management factor is front-end. The metrics for 24/7, cross-media magnetic efficient methodologies are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to syndicate. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. Think B2B. Think scalable. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365, distributed? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to redefine virally than to redefine mega-perfectly. Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. Without project management, you will lack implementation. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think macro-macro-frictionless. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media wireless bandwidth and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will grow the ability of infomediaries to revolutionize. What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"?