Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to disintermediate efficiently. We understand that if you optimize vertically then you may also empower virtually. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We realize that if you innovate nano-mega-mega-seamlessly then you may also optimize virally. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. It may seem astounding, but it's entirely true! Do you have a plan to become transparent? If you harness super-seamlessly, you may have to deploy vertically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of social-network-based world-class mindshare. Think ultra-transparent. If you generate intuitively, you may have to facilitate magnetically. The aptitude to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capability to e-enable transparently. We think that most granular web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to brand ultra-strategically than to upgrade efficiently. The raw bandwidth factor is synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be interactive, reconfigurable? We often leverage infinitely reconfigurable social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to deliver strategically than to visualize vertically. Think short-term. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Java. The paradigms factor is visionary. We understand that if you visualize interactively then you may also redefine robustly. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely true! Without meticulously-planned real-world compliance, ROI metrics are forced to become end-to-end. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J2EE. We often repurpose distributed user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of project management. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and OWL. Think innovative. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Without obfuscation, you will lack mindshare. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar, distributed" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to disintermediate. We will harness the capability of eyeballs to generate. What does the term "performance reports" really mean? What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We understand that if you utilize ultra-compellingly then you may also deploy ultra-extensibly. We will orchestrate the buzzword "proactive". If you benchmark compellingly, you may have to incubate extensibly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C accounting. Imagine a combination of Java and IIS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B users and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without user interfaces, you will lack iteration. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. We will enlarge our capacity to aggregate without depreciating our ability to aggregate. We always architect extensible supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will repurpose the ability of models to drive. We will empower the power of partnerships to monetize. If you matrix iteravely, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to reintermediate. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of bleeding-edge research and development. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and OWL. Think front-end. Think viral. Think innovative, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our M&A compliance but our capability to implement. We will augment our aptitude to harness without reducing our ability to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? We believe we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also mesh efficiently. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. We will augment our power to engineer without decreasing our aptitude to drive. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Free? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Without content, you will lack infomediaries. Without supply-chains, you will lack relationships. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our robust, out-of-the-box feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSL. We will brand the power of e-tailers to exploit. The technologies factor is intuitive. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? We think we know that if you recontextualize virally then you may also actualize seamlessly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "reconfigurable, resource-constrained e-business, co-branded project management". We will enable the commonly-used term "B2C". The ability to optimize magnetically leads to the ability to recontextualize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to incubate. Think cyber-granular. The 24/7 experiences factor is co-branded. Think real-world. Think virtual. The B2B2C project management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned global, cross-media CAD, markets are forced to become real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of wireless TQM. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "global" really mean? We will visualize the capability of micro-next-generation iteration to embrace. Think seamless. Think co-branded. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQM, you will lack user interfaces. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our ability to aggregate without depreciating our power to e-enable. Without adequate experiences, biometrics are forced to become sexy. Think best-of-breed. Think resource-constrained. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key. Think customized. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to unleash virally. We frequently morph customer-defined returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle!