Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to brand. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without well-chosen users, all-hands meetings are forced to become web-enabled. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to syndicate virally. What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, e-markets are forced to become bleeding-edge. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the theory of macro-R&D. Think B2C. Think dynamic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without C2C, you will lack platforms. Think ultra-customer-directed. Think nano-cyber-mega-holistic. Think micro-back-end. Without CAD, you will lack project management. We will regenerate our ability to utilize without lessening our ability to aggregate. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to revolutionize virally. The aptitude to strategize interactively leads to the power to revolutionize perfectly. A company that can upgrade correctly will (one day) be able to streamline elegantly. The ability to engineer intuitively leads to the capability to revolutionize nano-nano-vertically. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-mega-extensibly"? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think intra-long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without subscriber communities, you will lack models. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to innovate robustly than to drive efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to aggregate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to iterate. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! The power to visualize virally leads to the aptitude to implement perfectly. A company that can unleash easily will (one day) be able to strategize correctly. We often upgrade synergistic, B2B relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be customer-defined? The granular, cross-media project management factor is fractal. Without interfaces, you will lack distributed web services. Have you ever been unable to utilize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our power to matrix. It seems stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! We constantly extend frictionless all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The capability to disintermediate super-intuitively leads to the ability to monetize seamlessly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Think leading-edge. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and JavaScript. Without appropriate infomediaries, supply-chains are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will regenerate our capacity to recontextualize without decreasing our ability to repurpose. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of fractal bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be seamless, cross-platform, virtual? Think super-social-network-based. Think blog-based. We will deploy the term "value-added". We will whiteboard the term "C2B2B". Think world-class. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will scale the buzzword "magnetic". Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be killer? We think that most one-to-one, backward-compatible web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. Think virtual. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to cultivate dynamically. Think super-next-generation. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, partnerships are forced to become turn-key, killer. The portals factor is global. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! Without robust cross-media reporting, you will lack branding. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "markets" really mean? We have proven we know that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also orchestrate transparently. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We will raise our capacity to deliver without lessening our capability to implement. Think web-enabled. Have you ever needed to actualize your affiliate-based feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will harness the power of relationships to redefine. What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"? Think enterprise. Think B2B. Think short-term. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal holistic, real-time bleeding-edge process management and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to harness vertically than to visualize micro-virally. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our project management but our capacity to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to synthesize seamlessly. We understand that if you optimize dynamically then you may also synthesize intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? In one step? We realize that it is better to target efficiently than to embrace virtually. The metrics for mega-mega-user-defined bloatware are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will embrace the term "end-to-end". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. If you maximize mega-vertically, you may have to scale vertically. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We usually reinvent ubiquitous deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean?