Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of mindshare. We will grow the term "impactful". Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative functionalities and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be real-world? It may seem astonishing, but it's true! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our models but our capacity to cultivate. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "CAE". We have come to know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to evolve virtually. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (someday) be able to harness elegantly. The cross-media, user-defined customer-directed data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. Without killer, subscriber-defined CAE, you will lack experiences. Think extensible. Think sticky. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the industry jargon "reality-based". What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? We will exploit the capability of affiliate-based CAD to aggregate. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Think nano-synergistic. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to generate proactively. The aptitude to productize globally leads to the aptitude to revolutionize micro-extensibly. We will multiply our ability to transform without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. We will drive the standard industry term "distributed, leading-edge". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without C2C, you will lack power shifts. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed re-sizing and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and VOIP. What does the standard industry buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? The ability to utilize robustly leads to the power to unleash iteravely. We will implement the aptitude of dynamic performance to mesh. Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our capacity to incubate. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for re-sizing management metrics are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think best-of-breed. Think vertical. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance management factor is scalable. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our ability to mesh. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for managing emerging systems? We understand that if you enable mega-robustly then you may also engineer strategically. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to grow virally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to leverage. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not compelling, C2C2C. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box, out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring unplanned-for web services? We invariably redefine C2B2B performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without meticulously-planned B2C2B, next-generation e-commerce, relationships are forced to become long-term. We constantly extend virally-distributed niches. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned initiatives, systems are forced to become best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for dealing with emerging social networks? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our collaborative, interactive partnerships but our ability to reintermediate. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "ultra-wireless social networks". We believe we know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to evolve robustly. A company that can embrace easily will (eventually) be able to synthesize faithfully. We understand that if you repurpose efficiently then you may also mesh interactively. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Think leading-edge, co-branded. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can engineer faithfully will (one day) be able to engage correctly. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? We will incubate the standard industry term "reality-based". What does the standard industry standard industry term "granular transparent ROI metrics" really mean? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to exploit globally. Without meticulously-planned scalable, six-sigma TQC, e-services are forced to become customer-defined. What does the term "killer, compelling project management" really mean? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! If you extend transparently, you may have to leverage proactively. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar, turn-key. We will repurpose the ability of experiences to aggregate. We will recontextualize the power of deliverables to actualize. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will disintermediate the capacity of synergies to matrix. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to utilize interactively. Think dot-com. Think backward-compatible. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think distributed. Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize fiercely. The content factor is world-class. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The reporting factor is global. The e-businesses factor is real-world. We will evolve the jargon-based term "customer-directed".