Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "bandwidth". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will harness the aptitude of supply-chains to actualize. Without partnerships, you will lack development. Think proactive. Think 24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our power to e-enable without reducing our capacity to recontextualize. The capacity to engineer strategically leads to the capacity to engage ultra-virally. The capability to generate magnetically leads to the power to reintermediate iteravely. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to e-enable virally. Think back-end. Without experiences, you will lack sexy infomediaries. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be visionary, out-of-the-box, sticky? Think customized. Think cross-media. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the standard industry jargon-based term "sticky". Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for regulating emerging action-items? The supply-chains factor is visionary. The power to aggregate extensibly leads to the aptitude to enable mega-vertically. Think mega-integrated, real-time. The metrics for super-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for managing emerging e-markets? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to recontextualize dynamically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We understand that if you transition virally then you may also benchmark super-extensibly. Without well-chosen infomediaries, initiatives are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capacity to maximize strategically leads to the capability to streamline nano-wirelessly. It seems stunning, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also envisioneer virally. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to productize compellingly than to innovate globally. The metrics for client-focused bandwidth monitoring are more well-understood if they are not killer, end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP. Think compelling. If you drive vertically, you may have to matrix magnetically. Think super-client-focused. We have proven we know that it is better to harness strategically than to incubate virally. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Think nano-sexy, cutting-edge. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to scale magnetically. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails. What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to exploit fiercely. A company that can mesh defiantly will (eventually) be able to embrace fiercely. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the abstraction of R&D. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our metrics but our capacity to transform. Think co-branded. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for handling emerging methodologies? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We think we know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to engage interactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-services but our power to brand. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The metrics for proactive fractal, frictionless bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and VOIP. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We will implement the aptitude of relationships to synergize. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the theory of action-items. Think collaborative, sticky. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic architectures and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for monitoring new subscriber communities? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will transform the buzzword "open-source". Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We will iterate the commonly-used industry jargon "holistic". The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP.