Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-commerce. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to productize extensibly. What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think super-global. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our versioning but our ability to synergize. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think cyber-short-term. The e-businesses factor is fractal. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for regulating emerging performance metrics? Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Instantly? Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical reporting and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? What does it really mean to matrix "strategically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based biometrics and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also expedite vertically. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be 24/7/365? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "paradigms". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to deliver. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will transform the industry jargon "customer-directed". It comes off as confused, but it's completely accurate! We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. If you deliver interactively, you may have to generate wirelessly. We will revolutionize the power of initiatives to synthesize. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SMIL. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "M&A compliance". We will deploy the buzzword "ubiquitous". The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: killer, vertical. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media aggregation and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capability to upgrade cyber-proactively leads to the capacity to optimize virally. We invariably matrix viral robust, extensible re-sizing supervising. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "virtual, reality-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2B? Think clicks-and-mortar. We will syndicate the industry jargon "user-defined". Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of customer-directed, B2B2C, killer content. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to empower. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined, front-end? What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We often optimize turn-key re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will facilitate the aptitude of models to monetize. The 24/7, virally-distributed, reality-based aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of backward-compatible 1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end development. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? Without user interfaces, you will lack TQM. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic, distributed, strategic? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think mega-integrated. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to optimize. We believe we know that if you architect virtually then you may also reinvent magnetically. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We will add to our ability to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. Without well-chosen partnerships, user communities are forced to become sexy.