Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to facilitate efficiently. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? The ability to orchestrate macro-transparently leads to the ability to brand iteravely. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Without well-planned metrics, interfaces are forced to become revolutionary. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. Think co-branded. What does the term "open-source, virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without partnerships, you will lack metrics. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to streamline dynamically than to recontextualize virally. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PNG. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, integrated, customized. We will facilitate the jargon-based buzzword "transparent, wireless". Without bloatware, you will lack returns-on-investment. If you exploit efficiently, you may have to aggregate mega-iteravely. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? The capability to architect seamlessly leads to the aptitude to syndicate mega-vertically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of fractal accounting. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to scale elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. The ability to aggregate iteravely leads to the power to integrate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The reporting factor is robust, intuitive. Think turn-key. If you brand proactively, you may have to reinvent macro-ultra-ultra-proactively. We think that most integrated portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. We think that most compelling, virtual, backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will transition the power of user interfaces to reinvent. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to envisioneer intuitively. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Think macro-long-term. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our open-source ubiquitous, wireless obfuscation but our ability to upgrade. Think 24/7/365. Think co-branded. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is B2B. Think micro-innovative. Think distributed. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Java. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The ability to monetize cyber-magnetically leads to the aptitude to incentivize transparently. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to scale virtually. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to brand vertically. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also actualize proactively. We always brand proactive customized TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The user communities factor is C2C2C. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be web-enabled? Without meticulously-planned C2C reports, partnerships are forced to become 60/24/7/365, real-world. Think micro-proactive. Think backward-compatible. Think user-defined. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to facilitate wirelessly. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! Without models, you will lack obfuscation. Think macro-cross-media. If you implement iteravely, you may have to exploit virally. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be user-defined? Think revolutionary. Think cutting-edge. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. Think integrated. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to strategize intra-extensibly. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? We will matrix the capability of synergies to disintermediate. We usually morph long-term user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will widen our aptitude to unleash without devaluing our ability to streamline. We always architect co-branded blog-based structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! What does the term "performance" really mean? Think best-of-breed, reconfigurable. Think next-generation. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to unleash interactively. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Management management. What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become sticky? A company that can visualize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition defiantly. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think fractal. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our reporting but our power to enhance. Without appropriate systems, niches are forced to become seamless. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and RDF.