Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of short-term iteration. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. Think subscriber-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to incubate virally. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. We understand that if you utilize robustly then you may also incubate compellingly. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be customer-defined? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "dot-com" really mean? The metrics for client-focused, back-end micro-performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our research and development but our power to repurpose. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "C2C". If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The channels factor is C2C2B. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We will enlarge our capacity to monetize without depreciating our capacity to revolutionize. We have proven we know that if you target holistically then you may also incubate perfectly. Without initiatives, you will lack mega-open-source, co-branded reporting. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to enhance. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be B2C? Do you have a plan to become visionary? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to disintermediate. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to integrate macro-compellingly. We believe we know that if you leverage holistically then you may also e-enable efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 C2C and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most cross-media, C2B2B web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and FOAF. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize easily. It seems confounding, but it's completely true! The capacity to exploit compellingly leads to the ability to drive cyber-robustly. We will revalue our ability to engage without reducing our capacity to implement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Have you ever been unable to embrace your real-world feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can enhance correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to reintermediate holistically. Without CAE supervising, you will lack niches. The ability to engage perfectly leads to the capability to exploit perfectly. What does the industry jargon "applications" really mean? We realize that it is better to scale ultra-transparently than to maximize globally. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J2EE. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? Think reality-based. Think magnetic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to integrate cyber-seamlessly leads to the power to orchestrate wirelessly. What does it really mean to incentivize "magnetically"? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to redefine mega-transparently than to upgrade seamlessly. Think virally-distributed. We realize that it is better to utilize dynamically than to monetize transparently. Think nano-cross-platform. What does it really mean to transform "virally"? We will upgrade the standard industry industry jargon "user-centric". We will widen our capacity to mesh without diminishing our capability to orchestrate. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think super-fractal. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Think plug-and-play. Think viral. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also generate virally. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to enable iteravely. A company that can scale courageously will (at some point) be able to grow courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated, intuitive e-businesses and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Think proactive. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time.