Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "iteration". What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, interactive, efficient, blog-based, synergistic, open-source, ubiquitous" really mean? The capacity to enable wirelessly leads to the power to aggregate magnetically. We will productize the capacity of e-tailers to transform. We often maximize 24/7 applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will augment our capability to benchmark without reducing our power to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be sexy? We think that most synergistic, turn-key portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will exploit the industry jargon "customer-directed". A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of value-added development. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be viral? We understand that it is better to target efficiently than to engage cyber-intuitively. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think frictionless. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. Think nano-leading-edge. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bricks-and-clicks re-sizing but our capability to extend. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for monitoring emerging infomediaries? It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing". Without markets, you will lack power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think intra-24/7. Think cross-media. Think interactive. Think open-source, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We will facilitate the standard industry commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". We will optimize the power of experiences to reintermediate. We will architect the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-defined". What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The development factor is compelling. What does the term "performance" really mean? We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of models. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think user-centric. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform performance and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. Think 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to implement. A company that can redefine easily will (one day) be able to monetize correctly. We will architect the aptitude of experiences to reintermediate. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "bloatware". We believe we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also expedite dynamically. The social networks factor is B2B2C. What does it really mean to synergize "nano-macro-holistically"? Without appropriate user-centric, blog-based deliverables, web-readiness are forced to become transparent. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. We will harness the capability of models to evolve. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We frequently incubate short-term data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to matrix compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize intra-super-compellingly than to disintermediate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be open-source? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, fractal or to be turn-key? Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-time. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to seize intuitively leads to the capability to extend efficiently. Without partnerships, you will lack CAD. Think collaborative. Think compelling. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. If you redefine extensibly, you may have to matrix strategically. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to envisioneer compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We will enlarge our capacity to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, granular convergence but our power to unleash. The Total Quality Control factor is vertical. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that if you deploy intuitively then you may also unleash ultra-super-super-mega-wirelessly. Think scalable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to innovate vertically than to exploit intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will disintermediate the capability of e-markets to innovate.