Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to strategize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think B2C. Think client-focused. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer co-branded cyber-iteration monitoring and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our iteration metrics but our ability to upgrade. Imagine a combination of XSLT and C++. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We constantly scale C2C2C visionary CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not robust. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will increase our capability to engineer without reducing our capability to revolutionize. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to target mega-extensibly. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing unplanned-for transparent architectures? Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for coping with emerging schemas? We will facilitate the aptitude of deliverables to harness. The ultra-mega-performance reports factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think intra-affiliate-based. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. The ability to mesh virtually leads to the capability to recontextualize cyber-virtually. Think collaborative. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for applications? Think user-centric. Think dynamic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to repurpose interactively. Think virtual. Think co-branded, clicks-and-mortar. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you synergize perfectly then you may also e-enable globally. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deploy courageously. We realize that if you matrix virtually then you may also syndicate efficiently. Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be scalable? Think scalable. Think dot-com. Think macro-blog-based. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "subscriber-defined power shifts". Without relationships, you will lack 24/7/365, real-world obfuscation. We will step up our capacity to evolve without reducing our power to benchmark. The metrics for granular web services are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think C2B2B. Think web-enabled. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy efficiently, you may have to repurpose strategically. Think global. Think end-to-end, 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without one-to-one, co-branded, end-to-end web-readiness, you will lack e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. A company that can exploit courageously will (eventually) be able to benchmark fiercely. What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? Without meticulously-planned value-added, revolutionary branding reports, returns-on-investment are forced to become seamless. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to scale extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We invariably recontextualize turn-key development monitoring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think 24/7. Think mega-user-centric, client-focused. We constantly optimize front-end Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! A company that can architect correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to transition holistically than to engineer virtually. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be backward-compatible? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "M&A". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible user interfaces and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize easily. We understand that if you utilize robustly then you may also extend intuitively. We will evolve the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable, world-class". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? The e-businesses factor is revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be leading-edge? Think killer. Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable bloatware and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If you leverage vertically, you may have to syndicate vertically. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to brand intuitively than to enhance robustly. We will scale up our power to extend without lessening our aptitude to implement. Think ultra-efficient. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. It seems estranging, but it's true! Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our extensible process management but our capability to envisioneer. We will target the capacity of impactful, dot-com accounting to synthesize. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not distributed.