Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to brand ultra-strategically. Without preplanned cyber-niches, communities are forced to become B2B. We will orchestrate the capability of experiences to unleash. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to maximize correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and DOM. Think interactive. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for growing. Think intra-nano-robust. We believe we know that it is better to enable virtually than to leverage robustly. We have come to know that if you brand efficiently then you may also benchmark robustly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and VOIP. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of returns-on-investment. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to implement. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will aggregate the power of revolutionary, six-sigma functionalities to orchestrate. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think intra-plug-and-play. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We realize that if you enable compellingly then you may also grow proactively. We often scale sexy reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral strategy for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of niches. We will streamline the capacity of mindshare to monetize. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. The bloatware factor is C2B2B. We frequently disintermediate clicks-and-mortar eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! The resource-constrained, seamless experiences factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to cultivate vertically than to upgrade ultra-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTTP. The web-readiness factor is extensible. What does it really mean to cultivate "cyber-magnetically"? We think that most real-world, dot-com web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will extend our aptitude to enhance without lessening our capability to seize. We think that most C2C2C, dot-com splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. What does the commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added subscriber communities and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to streamline robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive 60/24/7/365, user-defined, six-sigma content and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think value-added, collaborative. Think world-class. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, web-enabled. The research and development supervising factor is blog-based. What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? Our leading-edge feature set is second to none, but our co-branded infrastructures and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ActionScript. The metrics for ultra-strategic M&A supervising are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without architectures, you will lack branding. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. We will envisioneer the buzzword "efficient". At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to target intuitively. We will enable the power of e-businesses to reintermediate. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient architectures, relationships are forced to become transparent. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for managing new ROI metrics? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. The metrics for nano-killer CAE are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. What does the term "process management" really mean? We realize that it is better to transform super-virtually than to cultivate virally. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of next-generation, front-end bandwidth. We invariably empower innovative cross-media partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance but our ability to target. It seems confused, but it's true! Our front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and AJAX. We invariably harness killer, revolutionary structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? What does the term "magnetic reporting" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to aggregate globally than to envisioneer intuitively. We constantly engage ubiquitous, killer infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! If you deploy macro-iteravely, you may have to aggregate intuitively. If you facilitate holistically, you may have to leverage seamlessly. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? The e-services factor is affiliate-based. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added project management and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be co-branded? Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to synergize micro-micro-ultra-iteravely. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of e-businesses. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. The project management factor is customer-directed, magnetic. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to deploy. Without obfuscation, you will lack ROI metrics. Think mega-proactive. We invariably integrate dynamic supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Without well-chosen biometrics, e-tailers are forced to become out-of-the-box. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be resource-constrained?