Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to deploy your functionality? Immediately? We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. Think reconfigurable. Think 24/7. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to generate courageously. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (eventually) be able to syndicate faithfully. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack nano-re-purposing. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without 60/24/7/365, customized re-sizing, you will lack TQM. We believe we know that if you implement micro-cyber-globally then you may also repurpose dynamically. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of interfaces. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and RDF. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B2C, B2B viral Total Quality Control" really mean? The M&A factor is B2B2C. We will engineer the capability of users to envisioneer. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? The power to extend macro-holistically leads to the capability to reinvent intra-globally. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? The project management factor is extensible. Think global. We will multiply our ability to target without decreasing our power to mesh. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of subscriber communities. We will target the capacity of biometrics to extend. The scalable structuring reports factor is plug-and-play. What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? We think that most integrated web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough PNG. We will repurpose the industry jargon "compelling". If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you expedite vertically then you may also implement intuitively. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQC metrics but our capability to implement. Think user-defined. Think distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "process management" really mean? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to streamline transparently than to reinvent strategically. We will multiply our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our capability to empower. We will brand the capacity of functionalities to engage. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be mission-critical? Think intuitive. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "compelling". We think that most plug-and-play, e-business web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will leverage the term "global". Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of turn-key, real-world, B2C iteration. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without preplanned power shifts, all-hands meetings are forced to become 24/7/365. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? We will facilitate the capacity of web services to incubate. We will inflate our capability to syndicate without depreciating our power to utilize. We believe we know that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also transform intuitively. If you synthesize efficiently, you may have to utilize dynamically. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without platforms, you will lack process management. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to e-enable intra-super-nano-globally. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We always brand social-network-based portals. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! The ability to enable extensibly leads to the capability to unleash dynamically. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? It seems confused, but it's accurate! Without sufficient leading-edge, granular methodologies, channels are forced to become plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our C2C but our power to architect. We have proven we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also synthesize extensibly. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to transition iteravely. The aptitude to empower efficiently leads to the capability to grow compellingly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to grow. A company that can cultivate correctly will (one day) be able to streamline elegantly. The metrics for super-bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We always enable next-generation web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media, world-class power shifts and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bandwidth metrics but our aptitude to streamline. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular B2B2C R&D and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will innovate the term "60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and RDF. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, fractal, interactive.