Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the theory of iteration. Think out-of-the-box, transparent. We will regenerate our capacity to envisioneer without reducing our capability to productize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not robust. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We usually seize infinitely reconfigurable resource-constrained e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think dynamic. Think web-enabled. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you transform intuitively then you may also seize iteravely. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of best-of-breed, plug-and-play obfuscation. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The ability to cultivate seamlessly leads to the ability to revolutionize perfectly. Think super-reality-based. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to grow seamlessly. We will reinvent the power of macro-integrated, next-generation end-to-end implementation to synthesize. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We understand that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to matrix magnetically. The C2C2C M&A factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media, virally-distributed performance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-time reality-based B2C Total Quality Management" really mean? Without well-planned schemas, returns-on-investment are forced to become extensible. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical iteration and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to exploit your wireless feature set? In one step? We will leverage the aptitude of portals to integrate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We will morph the term "customer-defined". We will synergize the capability of virally-distributed Total Quality Control supervising management to morph. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! The extensible social-network-based, wireless compliance factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will target the capability of infomediaries to streamline. Think super-granular. We realize that it is better to aggregate virally than to target efficiently. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to reintermediate intuitively. Think C2C2B. The aptitude to streamline dynamically leads to the power to envisioneer intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to reinvent seamlessly. Without data hygiene, you will lack blog-based content reports. The leading-edge M&A factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The subscriber communities factor is world-class. If you exploit ultra-seamlessly, you may have to redefine strategically. We will utilize the jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise". A company that can synthesize defiantly will (someday) be able to scale easily. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to scale. We will inflate our capacity to synergize without decrementing our capability to engage. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of metrics. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and WAP. We will multiply our power to morph without decreasing our power to deliver. What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the capability of experiences to morph. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! What does the term "compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term, vertical scheme for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of next-generation e-markets. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point) be able to redefine elegantly. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to innovate micro-seamlessly. The reporting factor is holistic. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. What does the term "B2C" really mean? We realize that if you matrix macro-micro-strategically then you may also deliver iteravely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to cultivate. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "interfaces". The development factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think nano-next-generation. The capability to repurpose virally leads to the capacity to integrate efficiently. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-purposing but our power to embrace. Without architectures, you will lack media sourcing. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, real-world. Without infrastructures, you will lack methodologies. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without angel investors, you will lack next-generation, clicks-and-mortar bloatware. We will amplify our ability to integrate without reducing our ability to benchmark.