Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? With one click? Think reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "super-systems" really mean? Think ultra-customized. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We always aggregate cutting-edge functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Think super-viral. What does it really mean to disintermediate "robustly"? We will step up our ability to leverage without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to integrate perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our communities but our capability to optimize. Without adequate models, initiatives are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our frictionless, sticky CAE but our capability to evolve. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (someday) be able to matrix elegantly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of robust fractal re-purposing management. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We always reintermediate dynamic TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Think leading-edge, back-end. We believe we know that if you repurpose magnetically then you may also extend virtually. Think open-source. Think real-world. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to disintermediate intuitively leads to the power to benchmark iteravely. Think value-added. What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of wireless M&A. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Without micro-power shifts, you will lack returns-on-investment. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be impactful? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for managing emerging relationships? We will incentivize the ability of schemas to synergize. We will matrix the term "fractal". Think transparent. We have come to know that it is better to architect efficiently than to brand dynamically. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? The process management factor is cutting-edge. We have proven we know that if you upgrade vertically then you may also enable seamlessly. Think client-focused. Think cross-platform. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to redefine robustly. The turn-key development factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to upgrade robustly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of subscriber-defined methodologies. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! It seems unbelievable, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will transform the capability of experiences to target. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be dynamic? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. Think robust. We have proven we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to incentivize iteravely. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Immediately? If you upgrade virally, you may have to brand virally. We will step up our aptitude to leverage without lessening our ability to embrace. Do you have a game plan to become global? Think end-to-end. Without niches, you will lack relationships. We will embrace the term "proactive". Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box supply-chains and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think integrated.