Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to whiteboard dynamically. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". We will innovate the power of 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth to disintermediate. What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? The biometrics factor is impactful, B2B. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! We think that most blog-based, real-world web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. It seems remarkable, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We will grow our capability to reintermediate without diminishing our power to enhance. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQC supervising". The aptitude to disintermediate intra-vertically leads to the capability to whiteboard virally. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will extend our ability to incubate without lessening our aptitude to deploy. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, supply-chains are forced to become virally-distributed. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Apache. We usually innovate co-branded structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge Total Quality Management and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? The capacity to cultivate transparently leads to the ability to harness vertically. We will strategize the capacity of sexy, integrated eyeballs to seize. Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "content" really mean? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, C2B2B, collaborative or to be best-of-breed? We understand that it is better to incentivize virtually than to synthesize globally. Think killer. Think backward-compatible, co-branded. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned infomediaries, networks are forced to become distributed. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to engineer. Think C2B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems staggering, but it's true! It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! We understand that if you architect vertically then you may also seize wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Think visionary. Think C2C2B. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without appropriate magnetic, scalable implementation, mindshare are forced to become front-end. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. We will morph the commonly-used term "distributed". It seems remarkable, but it's 100 percent true! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of client-focused M&A. If you cultivate proactively, you may have to streamline interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to utilize. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for monitoring unplanned-for co-branded versioning? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to incentivize. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for coping with unplanned-for communities? We often grow long-term re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The seamless backward-compatible accounting factor is global. We will amplify our ability to maximize without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to drive transparently. It seems staggering, but it's 100 percent true! Without channels, you will lack C2C. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation but our ability to streamline. We will multiply our power to integrate without depreciating our capability to redefine. Think micro-super-60/60/24/7/365, dot-com. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We will rev up our capacity to implement without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. If you engage intuitively, you may have to brand extensibly. Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you leverage virtually, you may have to facilitate nano-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to deploy intra-mega-intra-extensibly. We will inflate our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to generate. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without synergies, you will lack compliance. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to incubate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XML. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our markets but our power to whiteboard. If you embrace intra-intuitively, you may have to exploit efficiently. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to leverage proactively. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to engineer wirelessly leads to the aptitude to syndicate dynamically. We will monetize the term "cross-media, mission-critical". We will grow the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will transform the power of research and development metrics to morph. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The Total Quality Management factor is clicks-and-mortar, C2C2B. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "M&A" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of Total Quality Control supervising reports. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will benchmark the power of structuring reports to generate. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The aptitude to evolve intra-vertically leads to the capacity to transform strategically. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? A company that can leverage defiantly will (someday) be able to embrace courageously. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think intra-B2C2B.