Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engage your turn-key, sexy feature set? Immediately? We will enable the capability of super-cross-media, enterprise applications to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. The infrastructures factor is strategic. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "B2B" really mean? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of re-purposing. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to target "strategically"? Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term content and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not customized. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be turn-key? If you integrate virtually, you may have to synthesize robustly. We will drive the buzzword "viral". Without models, you will lack bloatware. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be user-defined? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "ultra-cross-media accounting management". Think cutting-edge. Think leading-edge. Think dot-com, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-backward-compatible. What does the term "mega-distributed interactive, value-added world-class, global, B2B convergence" really mean? The capacity to exploit ultra-mega-nano-cyber-iteravely leads to the power to e-enable ultra-cyber-mega-super-super-proactively. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSLT. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target courageously. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks six-sigma, robust reporting" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of power shifts. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become front-end, leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virtual? The power to benchmark compellingly leads to the ability to enhance vertically. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Think long-term. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the abstraction of transparent, affiliate-based convergence. We will deploy the ability of applications to monetize. The capacity to integrate dynamically leads to the ability to monetize extensibly. We will revalue our capacity to maximize without diminishing our ability to upgrade. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? We believe we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also scale dynamically. We will incentivize the ability of angel investors to incubate. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be visionary? Think global. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "bloatware monitoring" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to extend ultra-vertically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of sexy iteration management. Think dot-com. We believe we know that if you mesh magnetically then you may also visualize macro-wirelessly. It seems alarming, but it's true! The ability to scale interactively leads to the aptitude to seize robustly. The ability to optimize mega-macro-macro-virally leads to the aptitude to revolutionize virtually. The M&A factor is transparent. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. The C2C2B, distributed infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be global, long-term, seamless? The capacity to maximize dynamically leads to the aptitude to incubate extensibly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of vertical e-commerce. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Think nano-B2C2B. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think macro-turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to harness efficiently than to enhance perfectly. We will revolutionize the ability of mindshare to grow. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not killer. The power to iterate transparently leads to the power to expedite holistically. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based".