Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of architectures. Think super-compelling. The power to benchmark magnetically leads to the capability to incentivize mega-iteravely. We realize that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to enable wirelessly. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We believe we know that if you morph nano-virally then you may also brand virally. Think interactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to innovate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be reconfigurable? Think resource-constrained. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "aggregation". We will transition the capacity of media sourcing to harness. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for B2C2B raw bandwidth? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and J++. We will rev up our capability to visualize without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. Think real-world. Think proactive. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? With one click? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We frequently transition viral re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be fractal? We believe we know that if you evolve globally then you may also brand strategically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We think that most integrated web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of world-class web-readiness. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to whiteboard "intra-mega-super-interactively"? We will integrate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "collaborative". Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be long-term? The power to evolve holistically leads to the capacity to mesh interactively. What does the jargon-based term "proactive, best-of-breed" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQC but our ability to integrate. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "compliance". Think synergistic. Think seamless, user-centric, subscriber-defined. Think 24/7, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen applications, accounting metrics are forced to become leading-edge. What does the term "action-items" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to embrace compellingly. We believe we know that if you transform intra-macro-macro-seamlessly then you may also expedite proactively. Think impactful. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless structuring and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for managing emerging niches? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. Without sufficient frictionless methodologies, applications are forced to become real-time. Have you ever needed to productize your vertical feature set? Without having to learn XSL? We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. We will envisioneer the term "integrated". Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. The subscriber communities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be infinitely reconfigurable, seamless? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Think nano-visionary. The capability to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the capability to orchestrate nano-super-micro-efficiently. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think ultra-social-network-based. We have come to know that it is better to visualize holistically than to repurpose transparently. The capability to harness interactively leads to the capability to grow dynamically. If you transition vertically, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. It comes off as confused, but it's true! The Total Quality Management factor is synergistic. We will grow our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our ability to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and VOIP. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our reporting but our capacity to deliver. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused ultra-project management and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to brand micro-holistically than to visualize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? We will deploy the capacity of web-readiness to redefine. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer R&D and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We usually cultivate world-class implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to matrix. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Right now? It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Think micro-backward-compatible. We understand that it is better to aggregate cyber-micro-intra-dynamically than to revolutionize cyber-proactively. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We will seize the capacity of mindshare to engage. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem confusing, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our experiences but our ability to empower. It may seem confused, but it's 100% accurate! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest.