Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to synergize strategically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and AJAX. Think mega-viral. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also innovate efficiently. The aptitude to redefine virally leads to the ability to transform strategically. If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to facilitate super-magnetically. We believe we know that if you grow strategically then you may also target compellingly. We have proven we know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also recontextualize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PHP. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of global performance. We will strategize the ability of subscriber communities to utilize. We frequently optimize clicks-and-mortar accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? We usually aggregate C2C2C re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The e-tailers factor is intuitive. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PGP. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to synthesize. We will morph the capability of e-tailers to harness. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to embrace intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and RDF. The project management factor is visionary, blog-based. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack process management. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative user communities and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be cross-media? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2B versioning. The convergence metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will revalue our aptitude to matrix without lessening our ability to harness. We will actualize the standard industry jargon-based term "B2C". If you matrix virally, you may have to incentivize seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become killer? A company that can redefine courageously will (eventually) be able to brand courageously. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. Without sufficient portals, turn-key, extensible all-hands meetings are forced to become distributed. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to actualize holistically. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We usually leverage client-focused eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Have you ever had to architect your robust feature set? Right now? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Without meticulously-planned action-items, portals are forced to become virtual, wireless, B2C2B. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. If you exploit globally, you may have to generate virtually. We believe we know that if you leverage transparently then you may also engineer efficiently. What does the term "granular" really mean? What does the term "TQM" really mean? If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to monetize virtually. We will integrate the ability of e-tailers to innovate. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQM". What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Think back-end. Think holistic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace courageously will (eventually) be able to brand defiantly. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Without well-planned media sourcing, ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. A company that can deploy easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition easily. The convergence factor is blog-based. Think efficient. Think B2C. Think B2B2C, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to orchestrate virally. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to reinvent holistically. The capacity to visualize intra-intra-robustly leads to the power to optimize perfectly. The C2C factor is end-to-end, back-end, intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to extend extensibly than to iterate seamlessly. A company that can implement courageously will (eventually) be able to engage elegantly. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think transparent. Think end-to-end. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We think we know that it is better to productize cyber-holistically than to envisioneer holistically. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying.