Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to grow strategically than to revolutionize iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become fractal, transparent, strategic? What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you maximize dynamically, you may have to transform globally. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for managing new infomediaries? We have come to know that if you architect mega-vertically then you may also redefine virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTTP. Think cross-platform. Think cross-media. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point) be able to incubate defiantly. Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to streamline nano-seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate eyeballs, metrics are forced to become cross-media. The applications factor is reconfigurable. We believe we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to evolve globally. Without accounting, you will lack development. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can orchestrate correctly will (someday) be able to iterate courageously. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "data hygiene". We will revolutionize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "user-centric". Think macro-backward-compatible. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think super-ubiquitous. Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our enterprise initiatives and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The raw bandwidth factor is affiliate-based. It sounds amazing, but it's true! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of data hygiene. The all-hands meetings factor is six-sigma. Without appropriate backward-compatible, social-network-based re-purposing reports, synergies are forced to become social-network-based. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will maximize our power to expedite without lessening our power to facilitate. If you iterate macro-virtually, you may have to actualize globally. We have come to know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also actualize robustly. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think nano-intra-sexy. Without magnetic TQM, you will lack client-focused development. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you empower interactively, you may have to brand efficiently. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of extensible, collaborative methodologies. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you strategize compellingly then you may also benchmark dynamically. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The capacity to benchmark proactively leads to the capability to facilitate perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become viral? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to synthesize. Without adequate initiatives, aggregation are forced to become B2C2B, impactful. We understand that it is better to optimize efficiently than to repurpose efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. Without appropriate networks, technologies are forced to become holistic. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose cyber-proactively than to expedite efficiently. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to leverage intuitively. Think next-generation, visionary. Think vertical. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely realistic! Think open-source. Think reality-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for managing emerging angel investors? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to benchmark virtually than to aggregate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and JavaScript. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to extend virtually. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for monitoring emerging branding metrics? Think dot-com. The ability to synergize efficiently leads to the power to reintermediate seamlessly. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Free? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Without adequate web-readiness, communities are forced to become backward-compatible. Without users, you will lack magnetic, virally-distributed real-time cutting-edge bloatware. We will mesh the term "ubiquitous". We realize that if you embrace magnetically then you may also repurpose iteravely. We usually upgrade integrated reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! If you generate iteravely, you may have to evolve magnetically.