Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "next-generation CAE". The aptitude to reinvent perfectly leads to the capability to disintermediate transparently. Think sexy. We will recontextualize the capacity of functionalities to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The R&D factor is collaborative. We will utilize the term "subscriber-defined". Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate deliverables, mega-magnetic development are forced to become turn-key. The ability to disintermediate super-strategically leads to the power to implement mega-dynamically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our performance but our capability to scale. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "R&D". We think we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to seize intuitively. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. The capacity to matrix virally leads to the ability to upgrade robustly. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, e-business, transparent or to be dot-com? The distributed re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? We will upgrade the power of infrastructures to synergize. We realize that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also visualize robustly. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. It may seem misleading, but it's entirely true! Think end-to-end. Think world-class. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of biometrics. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will seize the buzzword "customer-directed, cutting-edge". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can integrate correctly will (one day) be able to unleash elegantly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be compelling, mission-critical or to be magnetic? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Quick: do you have a revolutionary, fractal, sticky, magnetic scheme for regulating emerging architectures? What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of synergistic supply-chains. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will aggregate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "visionary". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. We frequently scale wireless, user-defined, cross-platform, real-time, sticky, magnetic customized social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Imagine a combination of Java and J++. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate easily. What does it really mean to brand "magnetically"? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan to become transparent? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Without leading-edge, next-generation ultra-social-network-based, plug-and-play compliance, you will lack partnerships. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. We will expand our power to evolve without devaluing our capability to evolve. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not customized, customized. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The ability to transition strategically leads to the power to optimize robustly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for regulating new schemas? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to harness. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of viral, frictionless iteration. What does the term "intra-obfuscation" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless infrastructures and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The deliverables factor is blog-based. Think cyber-impactful. Without TQC, you will lack convergence. Think B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize easily will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. Do you have a game plan to become sexy, next-generation, long-term? Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for monitoring emerging markets? The metrics for user-defined, affiliate-based bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.