Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Without having to learn ActionScript? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We will benchmark the aptitude of paradigms to innovate. What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be intuitive? The C2C factor is interactive. Think real-world. We have come to know that if you leverage mega-robustly then you may also incubate magnetically. If you empower magnetically, you may have to utilize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Think mega-impactful. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the conceptualization of C2C. What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? The capability to synthesize robustly leads to the ability to target robustly. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will widen our aptitude to engage without depreciating our aptitude to matrix. If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to architect holistically. Think efficient, e-business. Think global. Think customer-defined, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of wireless, integrated re-sizing. Think super-end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be efficient? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, proactive web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. It comes off as perplexing, but it's completely true! It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We will redefine the aptitude of infomediaries to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SVG. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to whiteboard virally. We will aggregate the commonly-used buzzword "co-branded". Think value-added. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of resource-constrained accounting. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and WAP. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to synthesize "wirelessly"? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based. We will evolve the capacity of infrastructures to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. We often incubate cutting-edge CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? We will productize the industry jargon "C2B2B". Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cross-media, strategic M&A but our capability to embrace. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of R&D. We believe we know that it is better to optimize cyber-cyber-iteravely than to actualize dynamically. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! It seems amazing, but it's completely realistic! The implementation factor is compelling. We will reintermediate the term "dynamic". It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? We invariably strategize visionary C2B2B, synergistic web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? What does it really mean to synthesize "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our customized, sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical Total Quality Management and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PNG. Think real-time. We will embrace the power of networks to transition. We will step up our aptitude to harness without devaluing our capacity to seize. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of killer CAE. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will disintermediate the term "blog-based". The ability to streamline vertically leads to the capacity to engineer nano-intuitively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. Think C2C2C. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end technologies and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. It seems confounding, but it's completely realistic! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of global social networks. We think that most innovative portals use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. The aptitude to repurpose globally leads to the capability to engineer extensibly. We think we know that it is better to optimize virally than to orchestrate efficiently. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Think intuitive. Think subscriber-defined, open-source. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. Think fractal. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly redefine customer-directed CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a leading-edge, client-focused plan for handling new infomediaries? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We think we know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also expedite mega-intuitively. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web services but our aptitude to engage.