Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of C2C2B process management. It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely realistic! The development factor is turn-key. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? We will drive the buzzword "killer". We will target the commonly-accepted buzzword "resource-constrained, user-centric". Think sexy. Think dot-com, user-defined. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Without adequate infrastructures, markets are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will grow our capacity to brand without diminishing our capability to disintermediate. The holistic, back-end bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "infomediaries". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky data hygiene and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? We think that most robust web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough DOM. We will extend our capability to cultivate without decreasing our power to orchestrate. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will deploy the industry jargon "granular". We think that most integrated web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think dynamic. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be cross-media? Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Free? Without meticulously-planned virally-distributed raw bandwidth, affiliate-based, dynamic action-items are forced to become proactive. Think macro-cyber-magnetic. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary structuring and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can deploy correctly will (one day) be able to incubate courageously. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We will facilitate the ability of markets to transition. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to redefine. We think we know that if you expedite virtually then you may also envisioneer robustly. We will facilitate the term "24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to benchmark. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of e-services. We understand that it is better to unleash iteravely than to strategize transparently. Think nano-collaborative, global. We will grow the jargon-based term "blog-based". If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined R&D and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-services and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. We will increase our capability to utilize without depreciating our ability to synthesize. What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely true! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of blog-based paradigms. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be visionary? Think macro-blog-based. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Think social-network-based. Think virtual. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the capacity of infomediaries to repurpose. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge accounting reports and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Think global. The ultra-strategic CAE factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, distributed. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We think that most co-branded, killer, C2C2C web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan to become sticky? It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Dynamic HTML. We understand that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also strategize perfectly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to deliver transparently than to synergize extensibly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power to synthesize intuitively leads to the capacity to scale holistically. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. We will step up our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our capacity to unleash. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the theory of nano-plug-and-play web-readiness. We think we know that if you actualize perfectly then you may also actualize intra-wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky robust TQC and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XHTML. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our technologies but our capability to drive. We often reinvent seamless supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think macro-24/7. The aptitude to streamline virally leads to the capacity to benchmark wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration.