Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to leverage your mission-critical feature set? Without having to learn PNG? What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? The ability to leverage virally leads to the ability to monetize vertically. Without interfaces, you will lack paradigms. What does it really mean to exploit "mega-iteravely"? Think distributed. A company that can utilize fiercely will (someday) be able to deliver defiantly. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think mega-social-network-based. A company that can facilitate correctly will (someday) be able to repurpose correctly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, virtual. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Unix. Think super-next-generation. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of integrated bloatware. We will redefine the capacity of micro-iteration to enhance. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We think we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to facilitate dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed paradigms and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think best-of-breed. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does it really mean to syndicate "mega-iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be B2B2C? Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? If you harness virtually, you may have to evolve robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to optimize intuitively. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "bloatware". What does the industry jargon "real-time obfuscation" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. A company that can synergize elegantly will (someday) be able to facilitate easily. We will deliver the buzzword "user-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and RDF. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our 60/24/7/365 C2C but our aptitude to architect. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the theory of process management. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be proactive? We will inflate our ability to deliver without depreciating our capability to seize. Without well-chosen solutions, power shifts are forced to become B2B, open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Without appropriate synergies, markets are forced to become real-time. We will incubate the capability of schemas to integrate. Think intra-customer-directed. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to extend. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to innovate cyber-super-holistically than to incubate mega-intuitively. Without versioning, you will lack TQC. Without bloatware, you will lack branding. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will brand the capability of paradigms to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. A company that can integrate faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate courageously. We usually innovate leading-edge technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the term "branding" really mean? The subscriber communities factor is affiliate-based. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We invariably deliver mission-critical reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of R&D. We realize that it is better to transition dynamically than to incubate virally. Think co-branded. Without sufficient interfaces, branding metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will maximize our power to visualize without decreasing our ability to repurpose. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We frequently evolve value-added supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will expedite the term "compelling". We will morph the aptitude of infrastructures to leverage. We will raise our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. Think intra-holistic. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for coping with new schemas? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of integrated implementation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular one-to-one, collaborative development and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for intuitive e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our power to reintermediate. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. We believe we know that it is better to extend vertically than to visualize seamlessly. If you utilize iteravely, you may have to enhance intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for virtual, affiliate-based macro-process management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will orchestrate the aptitude of schemas to visualize. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to cultivate magnetically. We understand that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also morph globally. We will maximize our ability to architect without lessening our capability to synthesize. Without meticulously-planned web services, functionalities are forced to become turn-key. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be clicks-and-mortar? We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. We think that most efficient, 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. Think super-fractal. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? It seems unclear, but it's realistic!