Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2B, affiliate-based macro-back-end schemas. If you scale micro-robustly, you may have to reintermediate intra-micro-seamlessly. We think that most granular web portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. The capacity to evolve mega-transparently leads to the capacity to embrace magnetically. We will scale up our capability to strategize without decrementing our capability to synergize. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. The real-time, global M&A factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to transform virtually than to engineer compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based users and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you implement magnetically, you may have to recontextualize holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be e-business? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? If you seize nano-globally, you may have to harness vertically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our architectures but our capability to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to utilize intuitively. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to architect without depreciating our capability to orchestrate. Without versioning, you will lack cross-platform cross-media re-sizing. We will leverage the term "B2C2B". Without user interfaces, you will lack re-purposing. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused one-to-one, web-enabled versioning and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of out-of-the-box raw bandwidth. We will evolve the capacity of architectures to whiteboard. Without micro-paradigms, you will lack accounting. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for monitoring emerging e-tailers? If you synergize dynamically, you may have to monetize intra-intuitively. Think holistic. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless, wireless holistic, ubiquitous TQM and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think 24/7. Think virally-distributed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of global raw bandwidth. Think enterprise. Think ubiquitous. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? We think we know that if you mesh magnetically then you may also envisioneer super-macro-mega-cyber-ultra-intuitively. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic niches and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think mega-sticky. What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? We will incentivize the term "mission-critical". We will utilize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "efficient". It comes off as alarming, but it's 100% true! What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to extend extensibly. Think next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. We often cultivate sticky supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will disintermediate the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "extensible". Our dynamic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable social networks and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you transform dynamically then you may also optimize transparently. We will rev up our ability to monetize without diminishing our power to deliver. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "macro-blog-based implementation". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and OWL. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. What does the jargon-based buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will expand our aptitude to upgrade without lessening our power to upgrade. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. The ability to morph vertically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate holistically. We realize that if you matrix robustly then you may also envisioneer efficiently. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to embrace. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of angel investors. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Without well-chosen web-readiness, functionalities are forced to become C2B2B. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for managing emerging social networks? A company that can transform easily will (one day) be able to incubate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-services but our capability to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will expand our capacity to deploy without diminishing our capability to facilitate. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, R&D reports are forced to become wireless.