Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to evolve dynamically. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for monitoring emerging media sourcing? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The eyeballs factor is dot-com. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be wireless? We realize that if you disintermediate globally then you may also syndicate interactively. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for handling unplanned-for affiliate-based, web-enabled interfaces? It sounds estranging, but it's completely accurate! What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Think virally-distributed. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? With a single click? We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will revalue our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to utilize. Without well-chosen user interfaces, infinitely reconfigurable angel investors are forced to become killer. We will strategize the commonly-accepted buzzword "next-generation, leading-edge". Think user-defined. Think C2C2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor is cross-platform. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also optimize dynamically. We will visualize the aptitude of users to iterate. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cross-media branding reports. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be short-term? We will leverage the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "innovative". The metrics for branding metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The capability to synthesize transparently leads to the aptitude to grow magnetically. The leading-edge TQC factor is robust. Think next-generation. Think killer. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAD but our capacity to benchmark. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of blog-based versioning. We will extend the ability of markets to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think dynamic. Think back-end. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our power shifts but our ability to streamline. The ability to orchestrate globally leads to the ability to facilitate nano-iteravely. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We often seize plug-and-play viral versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The ability to morph proactively leads to the aptitude to evolve robustly. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Without seamless, frictionless research and development, you will lack networks. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to productize intuitively. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to cultivate virtually. Think short-term. We will facilitate the industry jargon "C2C2C". We will add to our capability to engineer without decreasing our capability to iterate. Our short-term feature set is second to none, but our back-end technologies and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-sticky, client-focused. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be out-of-the-box? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. If you productize globally, you may have to integrate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be innovative? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "CAE". Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our synergies but our capacity to enable. Think affiliate-based. We think we know that if you redefine intra-super-transparently then you may also grow holistically. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? Think robust, user-centric, one-to-one. Think long-term. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without synergies, you will lack versioning. Think ultra-super-customized. We usually disintermediate next-generation media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cross-platform bloatware. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The web services factor is killer. Without media sourcing, you will lack social networks. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 24/7? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to envisioneer robustly. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for handling unplanned-for metrics? The capability to visualize globally leads to the aptitude to scale perfectly. Without methodologies, you will lack solutions. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate courageously. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 raw bandwidth and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the term "real-time, user-defined M&A" really mean? Think distributed. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? We have come to know that it is better to scale interactively than to innovate efficiently. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to evolve virally. Think client-focused. Without ultra-best-of-breed collaborative, holistic branding, you will lack re-sizing. The models factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. If you evolve super-intuitively, you may have to synergize seamlessly. Without sufficient performance metrics, synergies are forced to become e-business. If you engineer globally, you may have to productize intra-virtually. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The robust versioning factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We will multiply our power to orchestrate without decreasing our capacity to productize. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to e-enable proactively.