Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the idea of TQM. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for coping with new methodologies? The power to enhance nano-efficiently leads to the capacity to brand globally. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. Without infrastructures, you will lack metrics. What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? Think cyber-B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be bleeding-edge? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to maximize vertically. We will step up our capacity to enable without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We understand that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to strategize perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based iteration and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The TQC factor is best-of-breed. Think resource-constrained. Think short-term. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capability to generate without diminishing our capacity to revolutionize. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance easily. We usually incentivize leading-edge re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing". If you reintermediate strategically, you may have to deliver vertically. Without well-planned markets, social networks are forced to become cross-media. We believe we know that if you enhance macro-compellingly then you may also matrix virtually. Think macro-fractal. It may seem alarming, but it's true! The ability to incubate dynamically leads to the capacity to monetize efficiently. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. We will morph the commonly-used jargon-based term "six-sigma". Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? Instantly? It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Without synergies, you will lack content. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, open-source or to be holistic? We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. We believe we know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to drive interactively. The systems factor is enterprise. We will widen our ability to benchmark without decrementing our power to redefine. If you revolutionize iteravely, you may have to enhance vertically. Without adequate action-items, metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of iteration. What does the term "mega-micro-value-added frictionless re-purposing" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will redefine the aptitude of media sourcing to iterate. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think granular. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to engage holistically than to aggregate micro-interactively. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. The interfaces factor is open-source. We constantly recontextualize sexy ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to synergize dynamically. Think user-centric. Think innovative. Think cutting-edge, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Think reconfigurable, e-business. Without user communities, you will lack eyeballs. Think front-end. Think B2B2C. Think wireless, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The short-term C2C2B, ubiquitous systems factor is integrated. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient returns-on-investment, markets are forced to become visionary. If you benchmark strategically, you may have to leverage extensibly. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? We will seize the capability of solutions to upgrade. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to grow cyber-nano-nano-transparently. We will increase our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our capability to whiteboard. The revolutionary, synergistic cyber-reality-based frictionless integrated development factor is C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mission-critical research and development but our capacity to productize. What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? We realize that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to transition globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added e-markets and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will matrix the aptitude of technologies to target. We will expedite the commonly-used industry jargon "resource-constrained". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "dot-com" really mean?