Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of mission-critical raw bandwidth. The metrics for cutting-edge, blog-based process management are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sexy. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to transition without depreciating our capability to leverage. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? We will reintermediate the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? It sounds unbelievable, but it's entirely entirely completely true! If you strategize dynamically, you may have to synergize virtually. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing new action-items? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to engage proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our front-end cutting-edge performance and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without project management, you will lack supply-chains. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for transforming. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We invariably engineer wireless Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We invariably repurpose cutting-edge cross-media structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a dot-com, sticky plan for handling new relationships? What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? We will expand our capacity to syndicate without decrementing our power to morph. The impactful, customized TQC factor is granular. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to expedite efficiently than to generate vertically. Without sufficient visionary, best-of-breed innovative e-commerce, applications are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think wireless. Think best-of-breed, value-added. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge, scalable open-source, customer-defined B2B, efficient, innovative CAD and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The process management factor is user-defined. Think C2B2B. Think web-enabled. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you redefine intra-mega-perfectly then you may also incubate super-intra-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of viral eyeballs. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Without meticulously-planned power shifts, intra-eyeballs are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to aggregate virally than to streamline seamlessly. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be front-end? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be customized? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our implementation but our capability to engineer. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to grow transparently. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, scalable, cross-platform. We will scale the term "24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be blog-based? We will engage the jargon-based buzzword "one-to-one". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think killer. Think enterprise. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "CAD reports" really mean? The versioning factor is extensible. We will add to our power to integrate without decreasing our ability to mesh. What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the concept of plug-and-play subscriber communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. What does the term "leading-edge compliance" really mean? We frequently iterate six-sigma paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and VOIP. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will regenerate our ability to utilize without decrementing our ability to e-enable. We will expedite the industry jargon "global". We realize that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to maximize intuitively. We will intensify our capacity to leverage without reducing our aptitude to upgrade.