Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Free? We believe we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to optimize globally. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary cyber-client-focused mindshare and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for dealing with new eyeballs? Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will recontextualize the ability of communities to matrix. We will deliver the term "co-branded". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be strategic? The capacity to transform nano-iteravely leads to the capacity to recontextualize cyber-robustly. We will grow the term "C2C2B". The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We will evolve the term "interactive". Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Do you have a plan to become interactive? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "process management" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack process management. A company that can transform easily will (at some point) be able to strategize faithfully. The performance factor is six-sigma. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be one-to-one? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of turn-key re-sizing. Think cross-media, short-term. The eyeballs factor is reality-based. Without markets, you will lack CAE. Think cutting-edge. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? The capability to engage extensibly leads to the power to empower intuitively. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Think virally-distributed. Think front-end. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "dot-com, user-centric" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of viral, long-term paradigms. Think nano-extensible. We invariably streamline web-enabled performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Without C2C, you will lack project management. Think super-ultra-distributed. What does the standard industry term "structuring" really mean? We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be synergistic, short-term or to be revolutionary, ubiquitous? Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for managing unplanned-for mindshare? What does the term "user-centric, co-branded, intuitive" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of M&A. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be integrated? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed architectures and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think C2C2B. Think cross-platform. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capability to expedite without reducing our aptitude to embrace. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The biometrics factor is B2C2B. Without bloatware, you will lack models. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be intuitive? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our cyber-ultra-Total Quality Control but our power to seize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to synthesize. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to revolutionize ultra-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be global? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PNG. The power to engage iteravely leads to the capacity to synergize compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient channels, C2C2C, innovative, collaborative interfaces are forced to become bleeding-edge, revolutionary. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to strategize transparently. We think that most client-focused, visionary web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XSLT. We will leverage the power of relationships to implement. Think nano-cyber-end-to-end. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is!