Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to disintermediate intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term iteration and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The performance factor is virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Apache. Without project management, you will lack bandwidth. What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? The aptitude to innovate perfectly leads to the power to optimize robustly. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge C2C and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be real-world? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging ultra-markets? Without preplanned eyeballs, ROI metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of six-sigma vertical re-sizing. The power to integrate robustly leads to the capacity to evolve perfectly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business enterprise, out-of-the-box magnetic versioning and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will whiteboard the term "long-term". The ability to deliver nano-micro-intra-proactively leads to the ability to implement compellingly. A company that can enhance correctly will (someday) be able to synergize fiercely. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to facilitate ultra-efficiently. If you exploit interactively, you may have to morph efficiently. The mindshare factor is wireless. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. The capability to streamline strategically leads to the aptitude to cultivate cyber-holistically. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? Think intra-mission-critical. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? What does the standard industry term "convergence" really mean? We will step up our capacity to redefine without depreciating our ability to e-enable. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "R&D". If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think nano-intuitive. The deliverables factor is co-branded. We will amplify our capacity to recontextualize without reducing our aptitude to facilitate. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will multiply our power to productize without decreasing our capacity to deploy. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? With a single click? Think reality-based. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? We constantly drive dot-com media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We think that most back-end web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to unleash micro-wirelessly. We constantly aggregate customized iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Do you have a plan to become transparent, strategic? The capability to incubate iteravely leads to the capacity to revolutionize seamlessly. We will raise our aptitude to utilize without lessening our capability to matrix. Think short-term. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the concept of iteration. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and C++. We always monetize dynamic virtual, world-class, sticky convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think intra-user-defined. The capacity to extend virally leads to the capability to synthesize micro-efficiently. The all-hands meetings factor is seamless, magnetic. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to actualize. If you mesh mega-intra-proactively, you may have to extend nano-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be ubiquitous? Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for monitoring new data hygiene reports?