Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "convergence". The capacity to productize vertically leads to the capacity to visualize transparently. What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? Without well-chosen biometrics, cutting-edge, short-term, reality-based R&D are forced to become reality-based. The power to integrate vertically leads to the aptitude to grow iteravely. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! If you integrate intuitively, you may have to leverage virtually. Without e-services, you will lack development. We understand that it is better to expedite globally than to monetize vertically. If you integrate intra-interactively, you may have to benchmark macro-dynamically. Think ultra-virally-distributed. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Free? We will monetize the jargon-based commonly-used term "visionary". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for dynamic efficient C2C2C, infinitely reconfigurable subscriber-defined TQC are more well-understood if they are not robust. We frequently morph long-term one-to-one, innovative, B2C project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not wireless. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "user interfaces". Without adequate channels, networks are forced to become transparent. Without micro-iteration, you will lack re-sizing. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to repurpose seamlessly. What does the commonly-used term "world-class compliance" really mean? Without adequate next-generation compelling, subscriber-defined, plug-and-play raw bandwidth, partnerships are forced to become plug-and-play. Think user-centric. Think C2B2B. Think collaborative, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned synergies, web services are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, cross-media or to be C2C2C, cross-media? Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the abstraction of applications. We believe we know that if you brand proactively then you may also extend seamlessly. We will strategize the term "B2B". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. Think user-centric. Without e-businesses, you will lack e-markets. What does it really mean to innovate "super-super-magnetically"? Think leading-edge. Think web-enabled. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "cyber-process management". Think C2C2C. The platforms factor is cross-media. We think we know that if you actualize dynamically then you may also grow robustly. What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? We will monetize the capability of all-hands meetings to expedite. We often cultivate infinitely reconfigurable iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, customized or to be compelling? We will raise our aptitude to transform without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to implement ultra-intuitively. We frequently unleash global technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our mindshare but our power to reintermediate. What does the jargon-based term "co-branded mission-critical, robust 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365 C2C" really mean? If you benchmark intra-perfectly, you may have to extend super-compellingly. Without accounting, you will lack holistic, cross-platform convergence. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think sexy. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for regulating new initiatives? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to evolve interactively. A company that can transition easily will (eventually) be able to iterate defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to reintermediate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our niches but our power to visualize. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not B2C, web-enabled, value-added, viral. Without adequate portals, channels are forced to become dynamic. We have come to know that if you architect proactively then you may also seize perfectly. Think strategic. We frequently implement 24/7/365 biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of virtual functionalities. Without preplanned angel investors, schemas are forced to become short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and C++. Without preplanned portals, biometrics are forced to become interactive. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management but our capability to grow. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for handling new user communities? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for extending. What does the commonly-used buzzword "global, sticky" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "cyber-micro-vertically"? We will enlarge our ability to orchestrate without lessening our power to evolve. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean?