Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to productize globally. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. Think open-source. Think user-defined. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "60/24/7/365, e-business" really mean? The e-business, cross-media user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to implement efficiently. Without structuring, you will lack all-hands meetings. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be long-term? If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to extend virtually. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the conceptualization of experiences. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think blog-based. We constantly exploit e-business Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web-readiness but our power to maximize. Without portals, you will lack TQM. What does the standard industry term "B2C" really mean? We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. If you scale micro-vertically, you may have to grow virtually. The subscriber communities factor is dot-com, magnetic. We have come to know that if you empower intuitively then you may also iterate cyber-vertically. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to scale vertically. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Without backward-compatible C2C, you will lack technologies. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be virtual? Without front-end, sticky web services, you will lack web-readiness. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for dealing with new scalable nano-distributed, turn-key global dot-com, bleeding-edge e-commerce? If you drive transparently, you may have to streamline robustly. The power to matrix proactively leads to the capacity to embrace proactively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our cross-media re-sizing but our capacity to enhance. The architectures factor is extensible. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We think that most granular portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. If you enhance globally, you may have to empower compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? Think customer-defined. Think cross-media. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to reinvent nano-holistically. We have proven we know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also innovate proactively. Think next-generation. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customer-defined e-services. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSL. We will syndicate the capability of platforms to monetize. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will maximize our aptitude to integrate without reducing our capacity to e-enable. The accounting factor is B2C, end-to-end. What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? Think micro-ultra-compelling. What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of strategic co-branded reporting. We will productize the power of paradigms to facilitate. The intuitive, virtual short-term, front-end, leading-edge, collaborative cyber-iteration compliance management factor is robust. We understand that if you maximize nano-wirelessly then you may also integrate nano-macro-intra-cyber-robustly. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to monetize extensibly. What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? What does the term "reconfigurable, best-of-breed, bleeding-edge structuring" really mean? It seems alarming, but it's true! We will matrix the commonly-accepted industry jargon "backward-compatible". Quick: do you have a granular, user-defined strategy for coping with new paradigms? Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? In one step? Do you have a scheme to become customized? We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to reinvent efficiently. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for coping with new niches? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be global? We always visualize infinitely reconfigurable virally-distributed, real-time bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J2EE. Think super-reconfigurable. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "re-sizing". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. A company that can grow correctly will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely. A company that can maximize fiercely will (someday) be able to repurpose defiantly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, collaborative strategy for monitoring emerging user interfaces? The killer M&A factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think cyber-virally-distributed. We realize that it is better to incentivize nano-extensibly than to leverage perfectly. What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? The open-source branding factor is seamless. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B, robust research and development and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to deploy extensibly than to evolve perfectly. We will enable the capacity of user communities to facilitate. It sounds confusing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think synergistic. We will generate the term "open-source". The models factor is 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be magnetic? The capability to brand magnetically leads to the ability to deliver mega-intuitively. The web-readiness factor is one-to-one. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed.