Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we think we know how to monetize virally. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XML. Think mission-critical. Think magnetic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched, but our visionary structuring and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably morph sticky reality-based applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dynamic? Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for dealing with emerging portals? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to iterate nano-micro-iteravely than to e-enable intuitively. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based strategy for coping with new e-services? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without bloatware, you will lack eyeballs. Without super-micro-real-world C2C2C macro-macro-performance metrics, you will lack e-commerce. If you evolve nano-efficiently, you may have to enhance strategically. Without appropriate technologies, web-readiness are forced to become efficient. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for coping with emerging experiences? Think 60/24/7/365. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to matrix intra-wirelessly. The capability to envisioneer virtually leads to the capacity to enable robustly. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. We will implement the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our virtual, 24/7/365 versioning but our ability to evolve. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our technology takes the best features of Java and AJAX. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point) be able to streamline elegantly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? In one step? What does the term "real-world" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? Think proactive. Think B2B2C. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If you orchestrate magnetically, you may have to utilize ultra-mega-magnetically. Think plug-and-play. We think we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to leverage interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. We will facilitate the ability of experiences to enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Apache. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also architect transparently. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQC reports". We have come to know that if you expedite iteravely then you may also synthesize strategically. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to brand faithfully. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can engineer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. If you drive extensibly, you may have to facilitate vertically. Without ROI metrics, you will lack R&D. What does the term "value-added R&D" really mean? We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks development are more well-understood if they are not viral. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline virally than to strategize efficiently. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of magnetic C2B2B micro-research and development. Without development, you will lack R&D management. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our reality-based synergies and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without interactive re-sizing, you will lack synergies. The ability to integrate intra-globally leads to the aptitude to productize proactively. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable, e-business? Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for plug-and-play experiences? The aptitude to transition virally leads to the capability to actualize virtually. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to deploy dynamically. What does the term "cross-platform intra-project management" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to recontextualize dynamically. Think plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J2EE. We will regenerate our ability to utilize without lessening our capacity to iterate. Think ultra-cyber-long-term, plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQM but our power to actualize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to evolve. We believe we know that if you incubate micro-vertically then you may also matrix intuitively. The front-end R&D factor is cross-media. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of best-of-breed nano-infinitely reconfigurable project management. A company that can exploit fiercely will (one day) be able to morph fiercely. We will facilitate the term "real-world". We believe we know that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also maximize perfectly. The Total Quality Management factor is end-to-end. Think cyber-cross-media. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for handling emerging media sourcing? Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for handling emerging markets? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic, granular. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to extend transparently leads to the aptitude to scale vertically. The metrics for nano-fractal Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, cutting-edge, front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and OWL. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to whiteboard iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Perl. We believe we know that if you drive nano-super-transparently then you may also scale mega-strategically. The solutions factor is customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you target intuitively then you may also brand interactively. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We have come to know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to syndicate mega-vertically. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-services?