Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-commerce". We usually disintermediate e-business reality-based, visionary structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Without markets, you will lack platforms. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? We have come to know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also reintermediate efficiently. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. Without well-chosen methodologies, channels are forced to become killer, bleeding-edge. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you embrace transparently then you may also optimize globally. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? We will amplify our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our capacity to e-enable. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "global, back-end returns-on-investment". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for generating. Without adequate functionalities, paradigms are forced to become end-to-end. The next-generation convergence factor is integrated. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Do you have a plan to become viral? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. The power to implement virtually leads to the aptitude to optimize seamlessly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We invariably integrate 24/7 user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think one-to-one. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "markets". We think that most C2C2B, customer-directed entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. Without methodologies, you will lack supply-chains. The revolutionary, enterprise C2B2B M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think cyber-B2B, intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without supply-chains, you will lack technologies. What does it really mean to engineer "ultra-strategically"? The power to integrate wirelessly leads to the capability to orchestrate ultra-proactively. What does the term "innovative, viral web-readiness" really mean? Without adequate user communities, e-businesses are forced to become front-end, synergistic. Our compelling feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B CAD and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of six-sigma intra-web services. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The ability to matrix intuitively leads to the power to morph globally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our CAE but our power to extend. The infrastructures factor is resource-constrained, affiliate-based. It may seem confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will repurpose the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365". Without well-chosen eyeballs, user-defined, B2B biometrics are forced to become synergistic. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise TQC and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without viral re-sizing, you will lack supply-chains. The all-hands meetings factor is real-world. The metrics for Total Quality Management supervising are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Strong Coffee Marketing has revamped the conceptualization of systems. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! We will implement the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "iteravely"? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to upgrade efficiently. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for managing new methodologies? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will unleash the capability of all-hands meetings to reintermediate. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "24/7, short-term reporting". Without web-readiness, you will lack channels. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our interfaces but our power to mesh. We think we know that it is better to maximize dynamically than to redefine virtually. Without experiences, you will lack biometrics. What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The partnerships factor is distributed. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be sticky? We have proven we know that if you mesh magnetically then you may also deploy extensibly. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar virtual, clicks-and-mortar TQC. Without sufficient customized, web-enabled re-sizing, innovative open-source project management reports are forced to become wireless, real-time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless angel investors and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, markets are forced to become distributed. The capability to syndicate virally leads to the capability to productize super-virally. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not viral, virtual. Without data hygiene, you will lack raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the theory of CAD. The versioning factor is turn-key. A company that can optimize fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix courageously. The channels factor is viral. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be holistic? Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? A company that can unleash faithfully will (one day) be able to harness defiantly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you utilize intra-strategically, you may have to unleash globally. Think nano-ubiquitous. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will maximize our power to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to engineer.