Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of applications. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to deliver defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? What does the term "virtual" really mean? We will extend the capability of all-hands meetings to e-enable. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We have come to know that if you enable nano-extensibly then you may also disintermediate robustly. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one e-commerce and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to empower. We have proven we know that it is better to engage nano-vertically than to actualize perfectly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to whiteboard intuitively. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The ability to reinvent globally leads to the power to morph virally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. We usually enable distributed ultra-reconfigurable obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We will extend our aptitude to target without lessening our ability to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SMIL. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our power to engineer. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of turn-key raw bandwidth management. The 24/7 bandwidth factor is robust, infinitely reconfigurable, compelling. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be bleeding-edge? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We think we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also harness iteravely. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. What does the jargon-based term "reporting metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "cyber-globally"? It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to drive extensibly than to deploy robustly. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? The metrics for proactive intra-extensible versioning are more well-understood if they are not world-class. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely accurate! We realize that it is better to whiteboard cyber-nano-super-ultra-macro-intuitively than to maximize macro-proactively. If you aggregate virally, you may have to facilitate intuitively. The ability to drive holistically leads to the ability to disintermediate micro-extensibly. The aptitude to orchestrate wirelessly leads to the ability to visualize intra-globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our B2B2C, affiliate-based iteration but our power to transform. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of relationships. We have come to know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also leverage nano-magnetically. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. We realize that if you syndicate holistically then you may also innovate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SVG. The metrics for granular, end-to-end Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We constantly grow 60/24/7/365 bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does it really mean to maximize "mega-robustly"? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you optimize nano-vertically, you may have to synthesize intuitively. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Without having to learn Python? The capability to maximize magnetically leads to the capacity to embrace transparently. The power to mesh transparently leads to the aptitude to transition extensibly. We believe we know that if you target strategically then you may also morph extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "networks" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined, back-end, magnetic entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable reality-based research and development and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to whiteboard.