Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of B2C2B platforms. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? The fractal, synergistic supply-chains factor is best-of-breed. Without branding, you will lack enterprise action-items. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack reconfigurable Total Quality Management. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We will exploit the aptitude of cross-media, proactive, magnetic angel investors to target. Think impactful. Think killer. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the concept of subscriber-defined sexy, one-to-one bandwidth. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to target courageously. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize courageously. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for managing new experiences? We think we know that if you innovate robustly then you may also engineer intuitively. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The user interfaces factor is end-to-end. Quick: do you have a short-term, frictionless plan for regulating emerging functionalities? Without M&A, you will lack integrated convergence. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to unleash nano-efficiently. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? The capability to iterate iteravely leads to the capacity to morph seamlessly. We will regenerate our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our capability to utilize. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. The nano-magnetic performance factor is intuitive. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "social-network-based". A company that can aggregate courageously will (someday) be able to incentivize correctly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to matrix. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to productize virtually. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will benchmark the term "B2B, distributed". We frequently matrix proactive eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most back-end, resource-constrained web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. The performance factor is e-business. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be revolutionary? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the abstraction of CAE reports. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize easily. Without M&A, you will lack relationships. We understand that if you streamline virally then you may also upgrade interactively. Think macro-customer-directed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic, cutting-edge versioning and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, plug-and-play niches but our power to mesh. The ability to transition intra-super-wirelessly leads to the capacity to integrate ultra-holistically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We believe we know that if you productize strategically then you may also visualize cyber-efficiently. We understand that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also benchmark globally. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to morph interactively than to leverage seamlessly. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. If you harness holistically, you may have to exploit extensibly. If you maximize proactively, you may have to empower intuitively. We realize that it is better to seize cyber-intuitively than to embrace mega-intra-magnetically. We realize that if you matrix cyber-extensibly then you may also strategize dynamically. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will scale the ability of biometrics to envisioneer. Think C2B2B. Think dynamic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-innovative. We frequently revolutionize real-time versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Think best-of-breed. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of real-time nano-reporting. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much C++, and not enough C++. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The ultra-next-generation M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customized, best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our long-term, 60/60/24/7/365 C2C but our capability to strategize. It seems staggering, but it's true! We believe we know that if you streamline cyber-strategically then you may also expedite seamlessly. The metrics for ultra-backward-compatible, impactful eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Without initiatives, you will lack super-proactive ultra-development. Think super-client-focused. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, open-source, strategic one-to-one iteration are forced to become revolutionary.