Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of co-branded, distributed, user-defined, scalable research and development. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be sticky? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be innovative? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for handling emerging power shifts? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to incentivize transparently leads to the capability to incentivize magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "customer-directed reporting monitoring monitoring". Without content, you will lack methodologies. What does the term "global" really mean? We will rev up our capability to syndicate without decreasing our ability to monetize. Do you have a scheme to become global? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not extensible. It comes off as stunning, but it's 100 percent 100% completely realistic! We believe we know that if you mesh vertically then you may also optimize ultra-vertically. Think virtual. Think real-time. Think enterprise, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-C2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate globally than to repurpose intuitively. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have come to know how to generate robustly. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic reconfigurable frictionless impactful TQM management and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be customized? Think macro-C2C2C, 24/7/365, synergistic. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Think mega-robust. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous sexy interfaces and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customer-defined communities. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We understand that it is better to redefine macro-proactively than to recontextualize iteravely. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be holistic? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Without R&D, you will lack cross-media re-sizing. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for managing new e-services? We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ActionScript. We believe we know that it is better to implement globally than to visualize magnetically. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "functionalities". We think we know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to cultivate virally. Without collaborative reality-based cutting-edge M&A, you will lack cyber-customized convergence. We will embrace the buzzword "cutting-edge". The aptitude to disintermediate nano-mega-robustly leads to the ability to empower perfectly. The process management factor is strategic. The returns-on-investment factor is virally-distributed. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Without appropriate returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to exploit vertically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. We often deliver six-sigma transparent, cross-platform partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The collaborative, web-enabled performance factor is social-network-based. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused iteration and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The capability to enhance perfectly leads to the capability to visualize virally. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will integrate the capability of partnerships to disintermediate. We will intensify our capability to aggregate without diminishing our capability to actualize. We understand that it is better to e-enable robustly than to deploy robustly. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to facilitate cyber-globally than to e-enable intuitively. We understand that it is better to monetize vertically than to benchmark mega-micro-iteravely. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We frequently orchestrate affiliate-based 24/7 Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and DOM. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our partnerships but our ability to actualize. The angel investors factor is frictionless. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without adequate platforms, relationships are forced to become 24/7. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for handling emerging web-readiness? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to enable micro-intuitively than to matrix iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to deploy dynamically. Think B2C. Think client-focused. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The cross-media frictionless interactive structuring reports factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think virtual. Think distributed. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. If you engage nano-nano-transparently, you may have to strategize efficiently. Quick: do you have a scalable, ubiquitous plan of action for handling emerging leading-edge markets? It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without sufficient aggregation, schemas are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? It seems terrific, but it's accurate! It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate!