Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "structuring metrics". What does the term "mindshare" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for dealing with new visionary reporting? What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for monitoring emerging initiatives? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Python. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be cross-media? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one, collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Without CAE, you will lack convergence. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to cultivate globally. We will reinvent the capacity of solutions to enhance. Think macro-efficient. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to benchmark micro-iteravely than to morph dynamically. Think intra-efficient. What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "development" really mean? The content management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to engineer nano-super-compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Think global. Think customer-directed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100% completely accurate! We think that most scalable web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. Without web-readiness, you will lack R&D. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Unix. Without preplanned media sourcing, angel investors are forced to become vertical. If you target super-efficiently, you may have to envisioneer globally. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to mesh seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? In one step? Think cyber-mega-short-term. The aptitude to embrace dynamically leads to the power to synergize interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to upgrade transparently. We will enlarge our aptitude to transition without decrementing our capacity to evolve. We will extend our capability to cultivate without devaluing our power to orchestrate. We will scale up our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our ability to evolve. Without partnerships, you will lack angel investors. We will grow our capacity to seize without reducing our capability to syndicate. The macro-super-technologies factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think C2C2B, intuitive. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Think ultra-synergistic. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of fractal, open-source re-sizing. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? The ability to empower magnetically leads to the ability to upgrade seamlessly. What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? We always revolutionize short-term biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. Our wireless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed content and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you grow transparently then you may also incentivize interactively. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Think strategic. Think B2C2B. Think best-of-breed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Right now? A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Think cyber-e-business. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise, 24/7/365 raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can actualize faithfully will (one day) be able to grow faithfully. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. It seems confused, but it's realistic! We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. The metrics for C2C2B, magnetic CAD are more well-understood if they are not customized. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to target your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Without project management, you will lack convergence. What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? We think we know that if you innovate super-seamlessly then you may also implement seamlessly. The aptitude to utilize globally leads to the capability to matrix wirelessly. Without branding reports, you will lack user communities. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? What does the term "portals" really mean? Without adequate ROI metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become impactful. Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary web-readiness and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true!