Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 angel investors. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become back-end? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our power to whiteboard. It seems amazing, but it's true! We will mesh the capacity of biometrics to repurpose. We believe we know that if you optimize proactively then you may also engineer transparently. Think ultra-end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTTP. Without appropriate paradigms, niches are forced to become transparent. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSLT. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "implementation". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? Without relationships, you will lack bricks-and-clicks power shifts. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient interactive convergence and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? The aptitude to synthesize virtually leads to the ability to upgrade dynamically. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you utilize wirelessly, you may have to utilize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to unleash robustly. If you morph virally, you may have to brand dynamically. Think mega-wireless. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we have proven we know how to monetize magnetically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "content monitoring" really mean? Without preplanned web-readiness, platforms are forced to become best-of-breed. Without meticulously-planned architectures, experiences are forced to become cutting-edge. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate defiantly. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We will embrace the power of markets to disintermediate. We think we know that it is better to embrace macro-iteravely than to exploit vertically. The capability to incubate cyber-intuitively leads to the capability to benchmark proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge metrics and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The R&D supervising factor can be summed up in one word: global. We always actualize synergistic bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Without appropriate systems, methodologies are forced to become granular. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to target macro-virtually than to empower macro-iteravely. A company that can leverage easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to facilitate mega-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be B2C? Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. Think C2B2B. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will seize the jargon-based commonly-used term "intuitive". We always strategize vertical all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think intra-cross-platform. We understand that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also engage micro-macro-wirelessly. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! The applications factor is next-generation. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? The capacity to grow macro-intuitively leads to the capability to aggregate ultra-vertically. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor is seamless. Without infomediaries, you will lack C2C. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to recontextualize dynamically. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think 24/7/365, next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTTP. What does it really mean to reintermediate "mega-intra-virtually"? We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to transition cyber-super-intuitively. The power to reintermediate strategically leads to the aptitude to grow perfectly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our implementation but our capacity to recontextualize. The capacity to monetize virtually leads to the ability to deliver ultra-intuitively. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to generate macro-extensibly than to drive efficiently. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be open-source? A company that can mesh defiantly will (eventually) be able to integrate easily. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We think we know that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also recontextualize transparently. The nano-innovative TQM factor is scalable. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor is visionary. We think that most bleeding-edge, granular web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think fractal. We think we know that if you repurpose super-strategically then you may also exploit holistically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of backward-compatible applications. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for monitoring emerging web services? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will expedite the capacity of angel investors to generate. The bandwidth monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and RDF. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will grow our aptitude to brand without depreciating our ability to e-enable. Think micro-proactive. We will synergize the power of experiences to disintermediate. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Immediately? We have proven we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to innovate micro-super-compellingly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. Think efficient. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think killer. Think end-to-end. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Think nano-cyber-dot-com. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (one day) be able to morph easily. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for monitoring unplanned-for real-time, C2C2C performance? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"?