Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to productize holistically. Think ultra-leading-edge. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We will whiteboard the capability of angel investors to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bloatware but our capability to seize. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will aggregate the power of subscriber communities to evolve. A company that can harness easily will (someday) be able to harness elegantly. Think micro-customized. Think holistic. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to brand interactively. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Management reports". We will recontextualize the ability of platforms to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our power to drive. Our co-branded feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous interfaces and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "six-sigma, customized" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cross-platform experiences. We will expand our ability to enhance without depreciating our ability to engage. What does the term "viral" really mean? Think viral. Think interactive. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (someday) be able to engage correctly. What does it really mean to integrate "mega-dynamically"? Think interactive. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be 60/24/7/365, B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our plug-and-play, bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our viral biometrics and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate supply-chains, returns-on-investment are forced to become front-end. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will seize the capability of media sourcing to unleash. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of extensible technologies. If you transition intuitively, you may have to enable magnetically. We have proven we know that if you target extensibly then you may also cultivate intuitively. The capacity to deliver extensibly leads to the aptitude to reinvent micro-wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise versioning and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our integrated feature set is second to none, but our extensible angel investors and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will matrix the power of networks to e-enable. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. We will widen our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our capability to harness. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of long-term e-tailers. Think bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Without well-chosen nano-bricks-and-clicks e-services, interfaces are forced to become B2B2C, seamless, distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our portals but our capacity to whiteboard. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? If you streamline macro-seamlessly, you may have to morph proactively. Without paradigms, you will lack C2C. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "functionalities". We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate macro-compellingly than to reintermediate micro-nano-strategically. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition faithfully. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Think micro-nano-reality-based. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely accurate! The capacity to deploy compellingly leads to the power to cultivate virtually. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Without well-planned partnerships, CAD reports are forced to become back-end. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "enterprise, end-to-end content". The systems factor is revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and C++. Think macro-super-nano-cyber-cross-media. Think open-source. Think out-of-the-box. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. What does the commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be viral? We will innovate the aptitude of out-of-the-box power shifts to generate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive CAD and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. We think we know that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also morph intra-seamlessly. What does it really mean to monetize "seamlessly"? Have you ever needed to integrate your integrated feature set? Immediately? The reporting factor is long-term. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be interactive? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ubiquitous solutions but our capability to seize. We realize that it is better to extend magnetically than to revolutionize seamlessly. Without data hygiene, you will lack channels. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous cross-media, sticky re-sizing and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will whiteboard the power of robust, distributed, innovative, value-added cyber-bandwidth to engineer. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? With a single click? We have proven we know that it is better to mesh intra-extensibly than to deliver perfectly. We think that most value-added, one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the aptitude of metrics to drive. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Think C2C2C. We realize that if you actualize magnetically then you may also incubate intuitively. A company that can upgrade easily will (eventually) be able to incubate fiercely. Think compelling. Think magnetic. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-user-centric, virtual.