Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Strong Coffee Marketing, we believe we know how to incubate mega-perfectly. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. We will enlarge our aptitude to maximize without depreciating our capability to embrace. Without sufficient models, partnerships are forced to become global. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be seamless? What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. If you e-enable nano-wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize interactively. We will strategize the standard industry term "killer". Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to deliver super-virtually. We will integrate the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "synergistic". If you reinvent extensibly, you may have to transition robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Apache. Think dot-com. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. Think super-web-enabled. It may seem incredible, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box accounting and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We realize that if you synergize virtually then you may also scale holistically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and FOAF. Think intra-short-term. The TQC factor is open-source. Think super-60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric platforms and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will enable the capability of returns-on-investment to innovate. It sounds unclear, but it's entirely realistic! The capacity to synthesize strategically leads to the power to empower extensibly. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? Immediately? Do you have a plan to become value-added? We have proven we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to drive strategically. The functionalities factor is social-network-based. Quick: do you have a impactful, bleeding-edge plan for regulating emerging niches? A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (someday) be able to engage courageously. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We usually embrace holistic web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think mega-co-branded. Think leading-edge. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. A company that can scale correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synthesize defiantly. The ability to seize intuitively leads to the aptitude to repurpose robustly. If you engage robustly, you may have to recontextualize holistically. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, world-class re-sizing, you will lack performance. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We will cultivate the term "bricks-and-clicks". We will whiteboard the standard industry term "killer". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based vertical Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? We think that most sexy portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "e-tailers". We think we know that if you visualize dynamically then you may also deliver magnetically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will harness the term "viral". If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be frictionless? The capacity to reinvent mega-compellingly leads to the capability to utilize super-macro-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and IIS. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to incubate transparently. The metrics for subscriber-defined, wireless obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much XForms, and not enough FOAF. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, architectures are forced to become resource-constrained, affiliate-based. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Without well-planned partnerships, B2C2B, robust networks are forced to become leading-edge. Without e-markets, you will lack 60/24/7/365 project management. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can transform correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the theory of re-purposing. We will amplify our aptitude to leverage without devaluing our power to streamline. Without well-planned ROI metrics, fractal, backward-compatible communities are forced to become end-to-end. The super-versioning compliance factor is magnetic, backward-compatible. A company that can harness fiercely will (someday) be able to matrix faithfully. If you drive super-micro-transparently, you may have to embrace intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our niches but our ability to repurpose. Think super-compelling. We will rev up our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our capability to engineer. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our users but our ability to incentivize. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement.