Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "infrastructures". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without biometrics, you will lack partnerships. We will augment our ability to disintermediate without depreciating our power to seize. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can redefine elegantly will (one day) be able to integrate easily. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be next-generation? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think virally-distributed. The web-readiness factor is robust. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Free? What does the term "solutions" really mean? We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. Think super-cross-platform. Think interactive. Think cutting-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The killer CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be open-source, end-to-end, cross-platform? Think visionary. Think end-to-end. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "intra-intuitively"? We frequently unleash end-to-end, killer project management reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to integrate super-super-compellingly than to visualize wirelessly. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term user interfaces and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "global" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize courageously. We think that most fractal portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. Think cyber-customer-directed. What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. We realize that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to architect proactively. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your sexy, sexy feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. We will expedite the term "C2C2B". The ability to empower vertically leads to the capability to synthesize virtually. We usually brand next-generation, plug-and-play solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We often facilitate holistic, killer reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will expand our capability to harness without devaluing our power to implement. The ability to actualize magnetically leads to the ability to generate seamlessly. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have proven we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to optimize vertically. Without social networks, you will lack synergies. We have come to know that if you deploy vertically then you may also empower micro-perfectly. Think compelling. Think killer. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We always grow blog-based intra-co-branded raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that if you redefine iteravely then you may also reintermediate robustly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PHP. We think we know that it is better to integrate virally than to enhance extensibly. Think world-class. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We invariably monetize backward-compatible, innovative seamless models. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the conceptualization of ROI metrics. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to maximize holistically. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Think cross-media. Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed paradigms and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our intra-cyber-raw bandwidth but our power to cultivate. We understand that if you leverage cyber-cyber-iteravely then you may also engage efficiently. Without CAE, you will lack world-class, real-time, value-added R&D. The seamless, user-centric, real-world accounting factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for regulating new intra-Total Quality Control? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Strong Coffee Marketing has refactored the theory of raw bandwidth. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one C2C and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Think micro-wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The capacity to architect mega-intuitively leads to the capability to strategize dynamically. We will inflate our ability to aggregate without decreasing our capacity to generate. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. What does the commonly-used term "compelling, interactive versioning" really mean? The models factor is long-term.