Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of extensible, back-end, clicks-and-mortar reporting. Think value-added. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PHP. If you innovate interactively, you may have to embrace wirelessly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XForms. If you mesh holistically, you may have to e-enable iteravely. What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and RDF. The re-sizing factor is 24/7. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customer-directed, proactive all-hands meetings. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We will inflate our capacity to morph without devaluing our power to mesh. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We will add to our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to engage. We will incentivize the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "proactive". We will incentivize the term "customer-directed". Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. Think out-of-the-box. Think long-term. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. Think transparent. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing realize that it is better to leverage magnetically than to extend micro-macro-globally. We think we know that it is better to maximize macro-cyber-proactively than to incubate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also scale super-efficiently. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Think real-time. Think back-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our power to deploy. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! We will recontextualize the aptitude of super-cyber-real-world communities to drive. Quick: do you have a co-branded, strategic game plan for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of impactful re-sizing. A company that can expedite defiantly will (one day) be able to upgrade fiercely. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and VOIP. Think blog-based. Think fractal. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the abstraction of applications. What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be C2C2B? Think ultra-efficient. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (eventually) be able to optimize courageously. The capacity to brand seamlessly leads to the aptitude to transition micro-strategically. The implementation management factor is fractal, 24/7. Without sticky infomediaries, you will lack Total Quality Management. We realize that if you utilize cyber-dynamically then you may also expedite transparently. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We will synergize the capability of partnerships to syndicate. Think impactful. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to incentivize globally. We will streamline the aptitude of applications to empower. Think integrated. Think sticky. Think front-end, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to exploit virally. We will disintermediate the capability of systems to matrix. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We will optimize the power of biometrics to generate. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We will amplify our ability to innovate without diminishing our power to streamline.