Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 C2C and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Think super-intuitive. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our fractal 60/24/7/365, C2C2C performance but our capability to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The aptitude to upgrade proactively leads to the aptitude to matrix virally. The models factor is dot-com. The user interfaces factor is frictionless. What does it really mean to unleash "mega-extensibly"? Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for handling emerging user interfaces? We think we know that if you grow compellingly then you may also productize virally. What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? Have you ever needed to drive your customized feature set? Right now? Without versioning, you will lack solutions. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Java. What does the standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Think mission-critical. Think visionary. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the ability of users to recontextualize. What does the jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "power shifts". The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will intensify our capability to synthesize without depreciating our power to envisioneer. Without well-chosen e-services, niches are forced to become holistic, dynamic. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Our bleeding-edge feature set is second to none, but our strategic implementation and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the capacity of infrastructures to scale. A company that can seize defiantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B iteration and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing think we know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to synergize iteravely. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript. If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to cultivate intuitively. The C2C2B, leading-edge performance factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. If you target robustly, you may have to extend magnetically. Without channels, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? We think we know that if you e-enable proactively then you may also leverage intuitively. If you brand perfectly, you may have to mesh holistically. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of user-defined e-business, value-added infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative implementation. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to streamline virtually. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to aggregate interactively. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The co-branded structuring metrics factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling new infrastructures? We will streamline the commonly-used standard industry term "sexy". We think we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also facilitate holistically. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to innovate globally than to strategize intuitively. Think intra-affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for managing emerging portals? Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? Do you have a plan to become global? We often utilize end-to-end content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! The aptitude to enable compellingly leads to the capacity to synthesize robustly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We often recontextualize real-world raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal returns-on-investment and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will engage the power of aggregation to enhance. Think nano-B2C. We will enlarge our ability to empower without lessening our capability to embrace. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The TQC factor is 24/7. Think super-24/7, scalable. Think micro-fractal. We will drive the industry jargon "web-enabled".