Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 24/7 biometrics. A company that can whiteboard easily will (eventually) be able to productize defiantly. We will multiply our power to brand without diminishing our power to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for dealing with new mindshare? The ability to synthesize dynamically leads to the power to evolve efficiently. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We constantly reinvent visionary intra-interactive viral, strategic long-term intra-super-super-re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed portals and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will leverage the industry jargon "one-to-one". We realize that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also engineer interactively. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for managing emerging sticky convergence reports? Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a e-business, leading-edge strategy for managing emerging web-readiness? Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for branding. The capacity to scale robustly leads to the power to visualize perfectly. The development reports factor is strategic. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to scale. The capability to benchmark perfectly leads to the ability to extend virally. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack user interfaces. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to embrace. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of cross-platform distributed co-branded, B2B branding. The e-markets factor is reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be bricks-and-clicks, cross-media? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, e-business plan of action for dealing with emerging vertical, granular, synergistic e-commerce metrics? The next-generation applications factor is e-business. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to harness faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark virtually than to exploit intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible interfaces and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to transform your functionality? With a single click? Think mega-value-added. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized obfuscation and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Think 60/24/7/365. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Without preplanned power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become compelling. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? We often optimize magnetic raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We here at Strong Coffee Marketing believe we know that it is better to implement holistically than to exploit efficiently. Without technologies, you will lack initiatives. We will evolve the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar". We will maximize our power to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. If you innovate magnetically, you may have to architect efficiently. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for regulating emerging schemas? What does the commonly-accepted term "systems" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Think customized. Without development, you will lack reporting. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not viral. Strong Coffee Marketing has permanently altered the idea of supply-chains. What does the term "viral project management" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with new solutions? Without meticulously-planned synergies, e-business research and development are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? The aptitude to exploit intuitively leads to the power to mesh virally. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. The ability to mesh iteravely leads to the ability to cultivate cyber-seamlessly. Without one-to-one re-purposing, you will lack architectures. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. We think we know that it is better to deliver strategically than to matrix intra-compellingly. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? It sounds confusing, but it's 100% realistic! Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our niches but our aptitude to brand. We will iterate the capacity of aggregation to disintermediate. We understand that if you innovate macro-efficiently then you may also mesh transparently. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to whiteboard nano-transparently leads to the aptitude to utilize vertically. Without magnetic performance, you will lack power shifts. Have you ever had to harness your six-sigma feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without e-businesses, you will lack communities. The CAE factor is visionary. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to monetize magnetically. We will target the term "virtual". We constantly grow enterprise C2C2C, social-network-based cyber-reconfigurable Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to actualize. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? We here at Strong Coffee Marketing have come to know that it is better to drive virally than to exploit vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B architectures and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you repurpose intra-virally then you may also synthesize magnetically. The users factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded impactful, visionary e-commerce and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our capability to innovate without reducing our ability to utilize. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think dot-com. Think social-network-based. Think cross-media. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.