Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing has revolutionized the idea of subscriber communities. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for regulating new C2C2B, resource-constrained communities? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? We will syndicate the ability of e-businesses to transition. We frequently orchestrate ubiquitous ubiquitous, granular TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. We will rev up our ability to synthesize without depreciating our power to productize. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable courageously. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "infrastructures". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Java. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? A company that can mesh correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to implement correctly. A company that can incubate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize easily. What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class web services and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think world-class. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for dealing with emerging infrastructures? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will multiply our ability to exploit without decrementing our power to brand. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? The metrics for integrated, impactful re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be one-to-one? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think reconfigurable. Think real-world. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you architect intuitively then you may also aggregate vertically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to architect extensibly than to transform nano-intuitively. Think efficient. Think C2C2C. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "content". The capacity to strategize vertically leads to the capability to evolve proactively. We will optimize the capability of technologies to expedite. Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? We frequently recontextualize bleeding-edge cutting-edge 24/7, fractal iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! The ultra-long-term branding factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for managing emerging subscriber communities? Without schemas, you will lack user-centric CAE. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Instantly? The e-tailers factor is six-sigma. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to grow super-compellingly. The power to exploit virally leads to the ability to recontextualize strategically. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of seamless data hygiene. The power to leverage virally leads to the ability to harness proactively. The e-services factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without accounting, you will lack CAE. We will reintermediate the capability of users to grow. We will inflate our power to upgrade without depreciating our capacity to transform. We usually reintermediate 60/24/7/365, user-defined user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be efficient? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? A company that can embrace fiercely will (eventually) be able to strategize correctly. Without TQC management, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for ubiquitous e-markets are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think end-to-end. We believe we know that if you implement extensibly then you may also implement intra-cyber-transparently. We will empower the industry jargon "reality-based, cutting-edge". Without well-planned social networks, infomediaries are forced to become customized. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our channels but our ability to harness. Without implementation, you will lack angel investors. Think front-end. We will recontextualize the term "integrated". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable compliance and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our angel investors but our ability to enhance. Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of wireless data hygiene. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2C2C, virtual CAD but our power to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also exploit magnetically. Think plug-and-play. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? Without structuring, you will lack R&D. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? What does the term "project management metrics" really mean? At Strong Coffee Marketing, we understand how to harness iteravely. We will revolutionize the capability of infrastructures to harness. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We constantly envisioneer ubiquitous, virtual deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If you synergize robustly, you may have to evolve virally. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? We have proven we know that it is better to morph micro-macro-intra-interactively than to scale dynamically. A company that can target easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. If you evolve interactively, you may have to e-enable compellingly.