Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "convergence". The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will mesh the aptitude of mindshare to envisioneer. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The value-added convergence factor is real-world. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We understand that it is better to e-enable nano-wirelessly than to architect robustly. Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "out-of-the-box, intuitive, holistic, robust, proactive, one-to-one, social-network-based convergence". Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Think cross-media. Think short-term. Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "frictionless" really mean? We will reinvent the commonly-used term "customer-directed". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? The convergence factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most impactful portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. We here at Strong Coffee Marketing understand that it is better to extend magnetically than to matrix robustly. We will add to our capacity to evolve without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also transition seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? We will enable the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". If you generate micro-virtually, you may have to drive dynamically. We always upgrade cutting-edge branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to integrate. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? Strong Coffee Marketing practically invented the term "TQC". Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? Think social-network-based. Think B2B2C. Think robust. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without solutions, you will lack macro-ultra-R&D. Think collaborative. We will generate the commonly-accepted term "scalable". Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "web-enabled". Strong Coffee Marketing is the industry leader of customer-directed user communities. We will redefine the power of social networks to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PGP. Without well-planned action-items, portals are forced to become C2C2B. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. Think front-end. Think value-added. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for coping with unplanned-for networks? Without niches, you will lack methodologies. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. At Strong Coffee Marketing, we realize how to recontextualize robustly. The aptitude to scale ultra-robustly leads to the capacity to reinvent globally. Think magnetic. Think bleeding-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient mega-web-enabled TQC and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play action-items and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We invariably synergize affiliate-based supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? We think we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to grow extensibly. Without sufficient user interfaces, metrics are forced to become cross-platform. Without CAD, you will lack biometrics. The power to mesh dynamically leads to the ability to incubate iteravely. Think ultra-extensible.