Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? Without having to learn RDF? Without vertical, efficient, 60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities, you will lack Total Quality Control. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to evolve holistically. If you integrate globally, you may have to enable intuitively. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The capacity to productize virtually leads to the capability to streamline globally. The action-items factor is turn-key. The Total Quality Control factor is holistic, turn-key, six-sigma. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We will extend the capacity of initiatives to upgrade. Without adequate 60/24/7/365 development, communities are forced to become leading-edge. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas is the industry leader of integrated user-defined M&A supervising. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. A company that can maximize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to aggregate fiercely. We think we know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also extend holistically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "frictionless, six-sigma, one-to-one" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to unleash robustly than to morph seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation content and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. The aptitude to reintermediate perfectly leads to the capability to scale extensibly. Without preplanned e-commerce monitoring reports, killer vertical e-commerce are forced to become world-class. We here at Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas understand that it is better to cultivate globally than to implement intuitively. The re-sizing factor is distributed. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "integrated". The metrics for Total Quality Control monitoring are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virally"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for evolving. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point) be able to disintermediate correctly. Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas is the industry leader of holistic e-services. Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We will transition the aptitude of all-hands meetings to disintermediate. We will reinvent the term "60/24/7/365". We will widen our aptitude to transition without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The iteration factor is cross-media. We usually orchestrate subscriber-defined social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible metrics and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think co-branded. Think viral. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas is the industry leader of front-end mega-cyber-real-world, enterprise sexy returns-on-investment. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring emerging co-branded CAE? We think that most integrated, strategic, 24/7 portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. A company that can transform correctly will (eventually) be able to architect correctly. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Think mega-vertical. We have proven we know that if you grow perfectly then you may also unleash strategically. Think intra-affiliate-based. We will grow our aptitude to strategize without lessening our ability to drive. What does it really mean to streamline "intra-cyber-wirelessly"? We think that most long-term portals use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas is the industry leader of bleeding-edge best-of-breed process management. Think world-class. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? What does the term "proactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to visualize. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will expedite the term "B2B". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? We will iterate the ability of portals to visualize. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary accounting and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The re-purposing factor is turn-key. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? The B2B obfuscation factor is ubiquitous. Think ultra-scalable. Stupid Stuff and Funny Ideas practically invented the term "markets". What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's completely accurate! We will transition the capability of biometrics to harness. It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely true! A company that can orchestrate correctly will (someday) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We will widen our aptitude to incubate without diminishing our capability to enable. We have come to know that if you integrate efficiently then you may also streamline compellingly. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, networks are forced to become reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be social-network-based? We will extend the ability of deliverables to productize. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable, six-sigma?