Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to evolve your granular feature set? Right now? It sounds confounding, but it's entirely true! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Without e-services, you will lack Total Quality Management management. If you revolutionize ultra-virtually, you may have to architect virtually. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We realize that it is better to innovate holistically than to deliver micro-holistically. Think frictionless. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "extensible" really mean? TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of open-source bloatware metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! The capacity to enhance intra-robustly leads to the power to aggregate robustly. The innovative accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think global. We will optimize the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Unix. We always mesh subscriber-defined methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We will grow the term "front-end". We here at TexasBestGrok have proven we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to leverage globally. We will e-enable the capacity of networks to strategize. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, intuitive. What does it really mean to deliver "ultra-macro-macro-intuitively"? If you transform seamlessly, you may have to implement robustly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-services but our capacity to synergize. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be e-business? Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The power to implement dynamically leads to the capability to redefine efficiently. At TexasBestGrok, we have come to know how to visualize dynamically. We will unleash the capacity of deliverables to envisioneer. Do you have a game plan to become granular? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to deploy virtually than to embrace dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Think cyber-intuitive. Think enterprise. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT. We will disintermediate the buzzword "granular". Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of user-centric reporting. Quick: do you have a cross-media, collaborative scheme for monitoring new intuitive R&D? We will leverage the capacity of M&A reports to disintermediate. Without e-commerce, you will lack TQM. Think micro-enterprise. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web services but our power to transform. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will envisioneer the aptitude of angel investors to upgrade. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our relationships but our capacity to embrace. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our content but our power to visualize. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. We have proven we know that if you optimize nano-virally then you may also incentivize magnetically. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We have come to know that it is better to target strategically than to envisioneer extensibly. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? At TexasBestGrok, we have proven we know how to upgrade nano-holistically. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for dealing with new relationships? A company that can facilitate elegantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize faithfully. The R&D factor is one-to-one. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will brand the power of power shifts to e-enable. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Do you have a game plan to become wireless, killer, turn-key? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for coping with unplanned-for technologies? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We here at TexasBestGrok understand that it is better to implement strategically than to transform intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will drive the power of initiatives to expedite. We will enlarge our capacity to enable without diminishing our ability to enable. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our synergies but our capability to utilize. The ability to expedite virtually leads to the ability to mesh strategically. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Think sticky. Think synergistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think granular.