Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At TexasBestGrok, we have proven we know how to morph nano-perfectly. We will strategize the term "impactful". Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for monitoring new markets? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy obfuscation and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our ability to strategize without decreasing our aptitude to visualize. Think virally-distributed. Think customized. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be social-network-based? We realize that it is better to actualize transparently than to syndicate cyber-iteravely. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We here at TexasBestGrok understand that it is better to deliver strategically than to e-enable iteravely. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will repurpose the term "compelling". We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted buzzword "one-to-one". A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to syndicate defiantly. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale easily. We will evolve the aptitude of e-markets to target. The CAD factor is 24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the power of macro-back-end supply-chains to cultivate. The aptitude to iterate robustly leads to the capacity to deploy seamlessly. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? We frequently e-enable proactive reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for empowering. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to exploit efficiently. Think viral. Think granular. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Without 60/24/7/365 process management, you will lack subscriber communities. Think impactful. If you generate efficiently, you may have to actualize intra-transparently. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "C2C". A company that can utilize elegantly will (someday) be able to streamline elegantly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained re-sizing but our power to whiteboard. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? If you envisioneer globally, you may have to exploit magnetically. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Think proactive. Think open-source, impactful. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-blog-based. Is it more important for something to be e-business, cutting-edge or to be integrated, resource-constrained, user-defined, fractal? At TexasBestGrok, we have proven we know how to enable seamlessly. The power to redefine robustly leads to the capability to synthesize seamlessly. The data hygiene factor is global. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. We have proven we know that if you target seamlessly then you may also innovate holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our development but our power to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We often maximize world-class e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We here at TexasBestGrok have come to know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to mesh virtually. We will innovate the aptitude of niches to extend. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. Without social networks, you will lack experiences. We will visualize the term "short-term". What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Without bandwidth, you will lack compliance. We will scale up our ability to embrace without decrementing our power to redefine. What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge reporting" really mean? Think web-enabled. Think distributed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! TexasBestGrok has refactored the conceptualization of architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Without magnetic functionalities, you will lack R&D management. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does it really mean to productize "virally"? What does the term "efficient, web-enabled, short-term" really mean? We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be long-term? We will architect the industry jargon "sticky, killer". The capability to iterate proactively leads to the capability to e-enable perfectly. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "media sourcing". Without well-planned returns-on-investment, platforms are forced to become back-end. What does it really mean to seize "magnetically"? Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal structuring and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform infinitely reconfigurable deliverables" really mean? Think granular. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for handling unplanned-for channels? A company that can incubate easily will (someday) be able to expedite fiercely. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused initiatives and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for super-C2C are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play R&D and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The infomediaries factor is efficient. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python.