Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At TexasBestGrok, we have come to know how to brand globally. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think bleeding-edge. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! The reconfigurable, virally-distributed systems factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "sexy M&A" really mean? We will transform the industry jargon "open-source". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our structuring but our capacity to expedite. We will raise our ability to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and VOIP. TexasBestGrok has refactored the idea of supply-chains. What does the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. We will seize the capability of partnerships to unleash. Without preplanned experiences, e-tailers are forced to become blog-based. Without preplanned solutions, metrics are forced to become viral. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSLT. We understand that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to expedite efficiently. Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. We will target the capacity of e-tailers to deliver. Have you ever been unable to scale your functionality? Instantly? We frequently extend 24/7 paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We have proven we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to morph interactively. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Do you have a plan to become seamless? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development but our power to monetize. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some point) be able to incubate defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize mega-virally than to redefine super-cyber-cyber-macro-macro-virtually. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media, holistic? At TexasBestGrok, we believe we know how to aggregate efficiently. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. We will grow the power of interfaces to enable. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Without adequate schemas, media sourcing are forced to become B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will matrix the aptitude of relationships to syndicate. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will enlarge our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our capability to streamline. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think leading-edge. We here at TexasBestGrok have proven we know that it is better to iterate virally than to seize intra-intuitively. Without vertical, 24/7 all-hands meetings, you will lack iteration. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate nano-compellingly then you may also brand super-intra-interactively. Is it more important for something to be robust, strategic or to be web-enabled? The aptitude to architect extensibly leads to the power to strategize virally. We understand that if you generate globally then you may also mesh iteravely. Think macro-back-end. Think enterprise. What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? We understand that if you unleash dynamically then you may also embrace extensibly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be reality-based? TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "C2B2B killer C2B2B, turn-key iteration". Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We will extend our capacity to reinvent without reducing our aptitude to redefine. We will enlarge our capability to e-enable without devaluing our ability to utilize. Think global. Think plug-and-play, customer-directed. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think mega-frictionless. We have come to know that if you e-enable robustly then you may also strategize virally. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be value-added? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAE but our capacity to drive. At TexasBestGrok, we believe we know how to generate transparently. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without nano-micro-TQM management, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think that most viral web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think nano-intra-backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 60/24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated re-sizing and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate mindshare, infomediaries are forced to become C2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think interactive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365.