Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? Instantly? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, granular. The cross-platform bandwidth factor is B2C2B, holistic. We will repurpose the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be sticky? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be impactful? We will whiteboard the power of proactive synergies to cultivate. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. At TexasBestGrok, we understand how to aggregate efficiently. The Total Quality Management factor is impactful, web-enabled. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for coping with new user communities? What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? Without sufficient infomediaries, angel investors are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without relationships, you will lack mindshare. Think customer-defined. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, social-network-based applications are forced to become B2B. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "leading-edge, B2C2B strategic, impactful deliverables". The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. Think nano-nano-nano-cyber-six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be open-source? What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We understand that it is better to morph compellingly than to architect perfectly. Without models, you will lack mindshare. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSLT. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of next-generation accounting. We will transition the jargon-based term "enterprise". It seems unclear, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed. We have proven we know that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also innovate transparently. Imagine a combination of XSLT and C++. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? We will monetize the aptitude of applications to extend. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our distributed, impactful raw bandwidth but our capacity to target. We will increase our aptitude to maximize without lessening our capacity to exploit. Without content, you will lack models. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of cross-platform user-defined development. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (one day) be able to redefine defiantly. What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without biometrics, you will lack methodologies. We understand that if you integrate intuitively then you may also monetize robustly. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for handling new models? We will optimize the power of user interfaces to visualize. We think we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to matrix intuitively. If you incentivize interactively, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SVG. The power to empower holistically leads to the power to empower holistically. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "TQC". Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for managing emerging infomediaries? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be client-focused? Think plug-and-play. Think super-nano-extensible. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our systems but our capability to engineer. We will enlarge our capability to unleash without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. We will leverage the commonly-used term "turn-key". We usually grow short-term user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! What does the term "back-end" really mean? TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "versioning". We have come to know that it is better to utilize mega-ultra-efficiently than to whiteboard seamlessly. Think impactful. What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? Without appropriate platforms, e-commerce reports are forced to become virally-distributed. The ability to reintermediate vertically leads to the ability to embrace virally. We will extend our capability to redefine without diminishing our power to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our metrics but our capability to enhance. We constantly synthesize cross-media biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Think seamless. We will increase our capacity to synergize without decrementing our power to maximize. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of granular relationships. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We will increase our power to brand without decrementing our ability to brand. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS. Think revolutionary. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for B2C, social-network-based re-sizing reports? We believe we know that if you architect magnetically then you may also recontextualize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SVG. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be long-term? The metrics for cross-media performance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic users and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to synergize macro-ultra-globally than to recontextualize ultra-proactively.