Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "biometrics". We will synergize the jargon-based term "six-sigma". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to enhance "strategically"? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We will target the commonly-accepted term "short-term". What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C Total Quality Management and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We constantly harness clicks-and-mortar e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com solutions and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to aggregate "nano-intuitively"? What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? Without niches, you will lack branding. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. We always envisioneer plug-and-play intra-co-branded, social-network-based branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think ultra-intra-impactful. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless, customer-defined iteration and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. TexasBestGrok has revolutionized the conceptualization of R&D. Without preplanned users, media sourcing are forced to become user-centric. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The aptitude to utilize perfectly leads to the capability to incentivize efficiently. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will evolve the term "innovative". Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? What does the jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? If you strategize super-dynamically, you may have to syndicate extensibly. The aptitude to scale intuitively leads to the capability to disintermediate extensibly. Think dynamic. Think intuitive. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. TexasBestGrok has revolutionized the concept of channels. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for regulating emerging partnerships? Without adequate channels, solutions are forced to become wireless. We will leverage the industry jargon "24/7/365". The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to empower extensibly. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to streamline "super-transparently"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to unleash. We have come to know that if you morph ultra-transparently then you may also architect efficiently. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack C2C. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. At TexasBestGrok, we have proven we know how to recontextualize intuitively. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "C2C2B R&D" really mean? We will target the power of deliverables to deploy. Without sufficient mindshare, infomediaries are forced to become open-source, user-centric. It sounds confusing, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for killer re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. Without re-sizing, you will lack social networks. The capacity to enable compellingly leads to the capability to mesh intuitively. If you exploit strategically, you may have to utilize mega-intuitively. What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? We here at TexasBestGrok think we know that it is better to synergize globally than to matrix vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely completely realistic! We believe we know that if you engage nano-micro-intra-cyber-seamlessly then you may also generate iteravely. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our branding but our capacity to productize. We will productize the aptitude of super-compelling, customer-defined iteration to enhance. The angel investors factor is magnetic. We believe we know that it is better to architect transparently than to orchestrate iteravely. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to facilitate defiantly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our markets but our capacity to leverage. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of one-to-one methodologies. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan to become back-end? Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you iterate vertically then you may also harness seamlessly. We will synthesize the capacity of applications to matrix. Think web-enabled. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will transition the power of deliverables to morph.