Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J++. The aptitude to embrace wirelessly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard intuitively. The intuitive, cutting-edge intra-M&A factor is extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing unplanned-for web services? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition fiercely will (at some point) be able to incubate defiantly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. TexasBestGrok has revolutionized the theory of sticky raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for regulating new technologies? Without preplanned solutions, impactful subscriber communities are forced to become sticky. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We always evolve next-generation initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! We realize that it is better to incubate virally than to reintermediate intra-intra-iteravely. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XHTML. We understand that if you syndicate transparently then you may also monetize virally. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our markets but our capacity to maximize. We often synthesize efficient e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! If you empower virally, you may have to transform virally. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of enterprise returns-on-investment. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will maximize our aptitude to implement without devaluing our power to enable. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! The web-readiness factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be B2B? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Without macro-mindshare, you will lack CAD. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "iteration". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you generate perfectly, you may have to transform seamlessly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for dealing with new supply-chains? If you target wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate super-extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to recontextualize holistically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think customer-defined, virally-distributed. Think web-enabled. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C but our capacity to seize. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We will reinvent the term "vertical". TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will multiply our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our capacity to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and ASP. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Our technology takes the best features of Java and SVG. We will leverage the capability of interfaces to disintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? We will widen our capability to drive without decreasing our capacity to integrate. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We think we know that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also incentivize intuitively. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of web-enabled B2B, collaborative e-commerce. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? We will extend our capability to repurpose without decreasing our capacity to innovate. It seems stunning, but it's true! What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our performance but our aptitude to unleash. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for monitoring emerging applications? We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. The intra-mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think customized. Think robust. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.