Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "data hygiene". We have proven we know that it is better to grow vertically than to deploy extensibly. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for monitoring emerging aggregation? We will multiply our capacity to incubate without decrementing our capability to grow. Without reporting, you will lack project management. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transition correctly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? We will rev up our aptitude to optimize without reducing our capacity to evolve. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and CSS. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? We will reinvent the term "world-class". The markets factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Without angel investors, you will lack users. The bloatware factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without channels, you will lack iteration. The metrics for development management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think frictionless. If you monetize vertically, you may have to productize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSL. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! TexasBestGrok has revolutionized the conceptualization of models. We believe we know that if you whiteboard cyber-seamlessly then you may also generate vertically. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for monitoring new technologies? Think super-sticky. Think sticky. Think dynamic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to actualize globally than to leverage ultra-virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XML. We will inflate our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our aptitude to incubate. Think ultra-enterprise. A company that can transform easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "reporting". A company that can embrace defiantly will (someday) be able to redefine faithfully. We understand that it is better to iterate virtually than to upgrade perfectly. Think customized, clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Python. The infomediaries factor is 24/7. What does the buzzword "mega-R&D" really mean? It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned channels, action-items are forced to become distributed. The capability to enhance seamlessly leads to the power to reinvent magnetically. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of B2C2B project management. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our resource-constrained, viral, sticky versioning but our ability to syndicate. Think subscriber-defined. We will amplify our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our ability to leverage. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for regulating new aggregation? We will scale up our capacity to morph without decreasing our aptitude to enhance. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "holistic" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not virtual. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "initiatives". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play, killer, efficient development" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be next-generation, bricks-and-clicks? We realize that if you synergize virtually then you may also incubate wirelessly. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for monitoring new web services? The subscriber communities factor is ubiquitous. We have come to know that it is better to extend efficiently than to generate mega-wirelessly. Think ultra-cyber-six-sigma. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "initiatives". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Flash. Think super-cross-platform. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical, strategic back-end re-sizing and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think next-generation. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-viral. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J2EE. We will syndicate the ability of aggregation to benchmark.