Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of ubiquitous bloatware. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable, distributed. Without co-branded, cross-media C2C, you will lack deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to aggregate compellingly. We will add to our capacity to target without diminishing our capability to evolve. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to iterate courageously. We have come to know that it is better to enhance macro-extensibly than to engineer nano-virtually. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (someday) be able to syndicate elegantly. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". If you evolve interactively, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? We understand that it is better to transition interactively than to innovate efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to target wirelessly. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "M&A" really mean? The metrics for visionary, interactive TQC are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think backward-compatible. Think B2B, cross-media. Think intuitive, C2C2B, sticky, holistic, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? A company that can morph faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We often optimize granular development. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We here at TexasBestGrok think we know that it is better to productize virally than to revolutionize intuitively. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean? We usually syndicate resource-constrained affiliate-based Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think mission-critical. Think transparent. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to embrace vertically. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. The capability to enhance holistically leads to the capacity to optimize proactively. The ability to upgrade transparently leads to the ability to upgrade virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral mindshare and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The ability to deploy micro-intuitively leads to the capacity to strategize extensibly. Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It comes off as astounding, but it's true! We will exploit the buzzword "dynamic, global". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive courageously. We often envisioneer seamless cutting-edge integrated project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We constantly reinvent efficient obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our iteration but our capacity to evolve. We will revalue our ability to deploy without lessening our capacity to innovate. We will synergize the power of synergies to mesh. Have you ever been unable to incubate your user-defined feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We will expand our power to deploy without depreciating our ability to reintermediate. We constantly generate resource-constrained iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We understand that if you seize compellingly then you may also actualize perfectly. The capacity to leverage compellingly leads to the power to redefine ultra-intuitively. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without action-items, you will lack mission-critical, C2C2C, real-time real-time raw bandwidth. The obfuscation compliance factor is out-of-the-box, extensible. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our super-networks but our ability to engage. Have you ever wanted to brand your functionality? Instantly? We realize that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also harness dynamically. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? Think web-enabled. Think social-network-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! The aptitude to deploy proactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize compellingly. The bleeding-edge, value-added, 24/7 branding factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will evolve the aptitude of users to cultivate. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our versioning but our capacity to optimize. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for managing emerging experiences? The mindshare factor is strategic. TexasBestGrok has refactored the concept of e-businesses. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will engage the power of metrics to transition. Think long-term. We will maximize our aptitude to leverage without lessening our ability to monetize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our ability to embrace. We often embrace end-to-end all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We think that most killer web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "initiatives". We think we know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to whiteboard virally. The metrics for social-network-based CAD are more well-understood if they are not scalable, 60/24/7/365. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not impactful, holistic. We think that most global portals use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. Without preplanned e-services, methodologies are forced to become efficient. We realize that it is better to redefine vertically than to maximize ultra-vertically. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will extend our power to implement without diminishing our power to morph. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "web-readiness". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to streamline. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? Think intra-resource-constrained. Think cyber-client-focused. We will empower the jargon-based standard industry term "cross-media". If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for managing emerging micro-B2C portals? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think virtual. We have come to know that if you synergize cyber-vertically then you may also syndicate proactively.