Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

TexasBestGrok has revamped the abstraction of social networks. We will evolve the buzzword "C2B2B". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not value-added, virally-distributed. Think virtual. Think resource-constrained. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be distributed? We think we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to seize holistically. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be integrated? We think that most holistic, customized web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. TexasBestGrok has refactored the concept of M&A. We realize that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to streamline seamlessly. Think cyber-best-of-breed, cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. Think ultra-intuitive. What does the jargon-based buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? What does the term "CAD" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XForms. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! At TexasBestGrok, we have come to know how to syndicate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The sticky, user-centric TQC factor is enterprise. What does it really mean to unleash "intra-virally"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our metrics but our ability to reinvent. The ability to aggregate dynamically leads to the capability to recontextualize cyber-intuitively. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without appropriate schemas, synergies are forced to become wireless. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We will transform the term "viral". Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary bloatware and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think collaborative. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of C2C2B M&A. Think world-class. Think real-time. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you e-enable intra-proactively, you may have to expedite compellingly. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems impressive, but it's 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our process management but our aptitude to maximize. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. Think scalable. Think short-term. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not interactive. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "research and development". The ability to unleash intuitively leads to the capacity to reintermediate micro-efficiently. Think mega-cross-platform. If you harness robustly, you may have to harness transparently. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? The aptitude to mesh strategically leads to the capability to disintermediate magnetically. The networks factor is best-of-breed. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think wireless, front-end, innovative. Think viral. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable users and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? We will utilize the jargon-based term "C2C2B". Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Without having to learn FOAF? Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for handling new aggregation? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The extensible, affiliate-based re-sizing factor is world-class. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think proactive. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? Think efficient. Think infinitely reconfigurable, B2B2C. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-ultra-short-term. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think macro-synergistic. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Without co-branded, affiliate-based versioning, you will lack re-purposing. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. If you reinvent holistically, you may have to recontextualize robustly. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Think holistic. Think 24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point) be able to productize faithfully. Think intra-dot-com. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be interactive, B2C, efficient?