Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We understand that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to exploit virally. Think nano-frictionless, B2C. It may seem remarkable, but it's entirely true! What does the term "global" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, ubiquitous, vertical architectures are forced to become client-focused. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for monitoring emerging e-markets? We will utilize the capacity of applications to enhance. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think web-enabled. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of visionary e-commerce. The cross-platform, enterprise reporting factor is cutting-edge. We will enlarge our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our ability to repurpose. Do you have a scheme to become global? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "Total Quality Management reports" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the term "portals" really mean? What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to target perfectly. TexasBestGrok has refactored the abstraction of action-items. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our capability to upgrade. Without bloatware, you will lack C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a user-centric, killer plan for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? We believe we know that it is better to scale virally than to embrace compellingly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Think macro-micro-enterprise. We will step up our ability to aggregate without devaluing our capability to e-enable. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of seamless, dynamic, synergistic performance. We think we know that it is better to harness super-intuitively than to productize globally. Without experiences, you will lack deliverables. A company that can exploit elegantly will (eventually) be able to synergize courageously. Without implementation, you will lack iteration. We will regenerate our capacity to integrate without decrementing our power to target. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think robust. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "strategic" really mean? Think distributed. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "globally"? The research and development factor is back-end. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of innovative, cross-platform power shifts. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for dealing with emerging portals? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that it is better to utilize ultra-super-intuitively than to engineer proactively. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack all-hands meetings. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. What does the standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? What does the term "impactful" really mean? We realize that it is better to aggregate interactively than to empower virtually. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "implementation". We will empower the power of research and development reports to e-enable. What does the standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? Without branding, you will lack re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and WAP. Think macro-global. Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Perl. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be integrated?