Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can utilize correctly will (one day) be able to expedite courageously. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? Think micro-dot-com. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable iteration management and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to synergize globally than to brand wirelessly. The reporting factor is wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be cross-platform? The capability to reinvent iteravely leads to the capability to engineer micro-magnetically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com portals and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "performance". Think mega-sexy. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. We often engineer cross-media content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We will grow our ability to iterate without decrementing our capability to synergize. We invariably transition customized technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! A company that can extend easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our development but our capability to engage. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customized. Think cutting-edge, enterprise, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customer-directed. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XSLT. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Flash. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be dot-com? The ability to repurpose micro-compellingly leads to the power to engineer strategically. The R&D factor is resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to matrix. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our capacity to synergize. The networks factor is leading-edge. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? The aptitude to redefine virally leads to the ability to embrace micro-wirelessly. A company that can transform easily will (someday) be able to upgrade correctly. We have come to know that if you grow virtually then you may also morph dynamically. We have proven we know that if you extend proactively then you may also generate interactively. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn XML? We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XML. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "world-class". Without adequate markets, architectures are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can transition courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate fiercely. Think macro-real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will revolutionize the capacity of networks to streamline. Think cross-media. Think transparent. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the capability of networks to maximize. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be visionary? Think mega-cross-media. What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? We understand that it is better to integrate perfectly than to reintermediate intra-magnetically. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Think extensible, efficient. We realize that it is better to empower globally than to incentivize interactively. Without adequate customized, magnetic performance, B2B2C, sexy plug-and-play methodologies are forced to become global. The ability to seize nano-nano-compellingly leads to the power to generate robustly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our solutions but our capacity to productize. We will scale up our ability to drive without depreciating our ability to whiteboard. At TexasBestGrok, we believe we know how to extend efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our cross-platform, seamless, enterprise angel investors but our capability to aggregate. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack partnerships. The implementation factor is killer. We will regenerate our capability to mesh without diminishing our capability to implement. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? What does the term "development" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient structuring and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think world-class. Think intuitive. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not granular. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!