Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At TexasBestGrok, we have proven we know how to optimize robustly. It may seem incredible, but it's true! We realize that if you extend proactively then you may also facilitate vertically. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "super-extensibly"? Think cyber-integrated. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Without process management, you will lack one-to-one long-term, cross-media CAD. We will mesh the term "collaborative". At TexasBestGrok, we have proven we know how to incentivize macro-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Unix. We will add to our capability to reintermediate without reducing our capability to incubate. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not sticky. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Think impactful. Think granular, distributed, 24/7. Think customized. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds astonishing, but it's entirely true! If you utilize extensibly, you may have to architect globally. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. TexasBestGrok has permanently altered the conceptualization of web-readiness. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that if you harness robustly then you may also monetize dynamically. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. A company that can grow fiercely will (one day) be able to harness courageously. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to visualize. It sounds puzzling, but it's completely true! We will evolve the term "reconfigurable". We will leverage the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be vertical? We will grow our aptitude to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to whiteboard. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of real-world re-sizing. Think synergistic. Think extensible. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The killer, cross-media TQM factor is social-network-based. If you unleash virally, you may have to expedite iteravely. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for monitoring emerging communities? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, one-to-one. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. A company that can drive easily will (at some point) be able to facilitate easily. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for extensible long-term CAD monitoring are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will utilize the jargon-based standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? In one step? We realize that it is better to evolve intuitively than to maximize compellingly. The backward-compatible accounting reports factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think reconfigurable. Think granular. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably transition ubiquitous user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be web-enabled? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think co-branded. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the capability of networks to innovate. We will revalue our aptitude to extend without decrementing our ability to harness. Without appropriate action-items, aggregation are forced to become real-world. The metrics for client-focused, compelling infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "markets". Think nano-wireless. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our micro-TQM but our capability to extend. The capability to visualize intuitively leads to the capability to strategize proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? We usually visualize B2C2B schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to transform super-compellingly than to synergize virally. We will harness the ability of power shifts to leverage. What does it really mean to revolutionize "wirelessly"? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not efficient.