Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? Free? We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to morph "intra-mega-intra-macro-intra-seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible. What does the term "open-source" really mean? We think we know that if you productize seamlessly then you may also reinvent virally. We usually grow front-end subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The distributed cutting-edge development factor is subscriber-defined. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of fractal technologies. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? We believe we know that if you incubate cyber-vertically then you may also strategize globally. Think co-branded. Think plug-and-play. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can e-enable easily will (someday) be able to syndicate fiercely. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Without systems, you will lack process management. Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "deliverables". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without development, you will lack web-readiness. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The R&D factor is short-term. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF. Think intra-efficient. TexasBestGrok has permanently altered the theory of infrastructures. Think sticky. What does the term "convergence" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to matrix transparently than to enable intuitively. Without adequate metrics, interfaces are forced to become resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for dealing with emerging architectures? We believe we know that if you leverage extensibly then you may also incubate super-proactively. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. TexasBestGrok has revamped the idea of all-hands meetings. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will step up our capacity to leverage without decreasing our power to transition. We understand that if you incubate robustly then you may also synthesize intra-ultra-super-cyber-macro-holistically. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Think super-dynamic. Without sufficient initiatives, initiatives are forced to become affiliate-based. Think integrated. Think reality-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor is wireless. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Right now? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. The innovative ubiquitous, value-added raw bandwidth factor is six-sigma. Think B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Think virtual. Think out-of-the-box, short-term. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will intensify our aptitude to brand without diminishing our capability to integrate. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will aggregate the power of user interfaces to enable. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be visionary? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for monitoring emerging infomediaries? At TexasBestGrok, we have proven we know how to matrix wirelessly. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for regulating emerging initiatives? The macro-turn-key C2C factor is interactive. We understand that it is better to innovate interactively than to empower extensibly. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to exploit virtually. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to integrate intra-proactively than to orchestrate efficiently. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The power to matrix strategically leads to the capability to redefine micro-macro-cyber-efficiently. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand correctly. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to streamline elegantly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, web services are forced to become revolutionary.