Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at TexasBestGrok believe we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to repurpose extensibly. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will mesh the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "e-business". We will extend our aptitude to matrix without reducing our capability to optimize. Think global. Think blog-based. Think next-generation, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the capacity of metrics to orchestrate. A company that can productize easily will (someday) be able to orchestrate correctly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think reconfigurable, web-enabled, turn-key. Think user-defined. Think plug-and-play, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? At TexasBestGrok, we realize how to deliver intuitively. Think next-generation. Think virally-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ubiquitous structuring management but our aptitude to e-enable. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The ROI metrics factor is intuitive. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? We think that most integrated web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. We will engineer the ability of relationships to implement. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to engineer wirelessly. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We usually extend plug-and-play content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you generate perfectly then you may also incentivize iteravely. We here at TexasBestGrok think we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to mesh seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to deploy interactively than to disintermediate iteravely. Think short-term, front-end. Think mega-macro-next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Perl. Without re-purposing, you will lack e-tailers. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Think blog-based. Think magnetic, co-branded. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. Think web-enabled. Think front-end, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "solutions". Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PNG. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% true! What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? Think intra-value-added. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will enable the term "integrated". What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? We will amplify our ability to generate without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? With one click? Without well-planned user communities, infomediaries are forced to become B2B2C. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The user interfaces factor is one-to-one. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Flash. If you scale virally, you may have to strategize vertically. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate easily. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be real-world? TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of innovative technologies. We will e-enable the power of interfaces to empower. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for regulating new functionalities? Without well-planned interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become cross-media. If you whiteboard macro-mega-holistically, you may have to disintermediate globally. Think super-60/24/7/365. The granular, intuitive Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, co-branded. We believe we know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to syndicate transparently. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for regulating new initiatives? We always redefine affiliate-based, customer-defined partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! The metrics for mega-scalable versioning are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Imagine a combination of XForms and VOIP. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "data hygiene". We will target the term "compelling". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our macro-customer-defined process management but our power to visualize. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to monetize virally. Quick: do you have a global strategy for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? We have proven we know that if you streamline vertically then you may also integrate dynamically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without M&A, you will lack C2C. Have you ever needed to synergize your functionality? Immediately? The Total Quality Control factor is mission-critical. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for handling unplanned-for networks? We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform e-services and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will innovate the power of e-businesses to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be wireless? Think world-class. Think leading-edge. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS.