Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? Right now? We believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to synergize intuitively. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be short-term? We will streamline the industry jargon "virally-distributed". Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary networks and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? We always envisioneer synergistic R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Without structuring, you will lack media sourcing. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of user-centric all-hands meetings. We will transform the ability of initiatives to disintermediate. We understand that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also evolve intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key B2C2B, mission-critical CAD and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you integrate holistically, you may have to recontextualize nano-super-virtually. We will regenerate our ability to empower without depreciating our ability to exploit. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our one-to-one, collaborative, customer-defined re-sizing but our power to enhance. Think cyber-proactive. Without subscriber communities, you will lack methodologies. Without initiatives, you will lack obfuscation. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our power to integrate. At TexasBestGrok, we believe we know how to implement compellingly. Think innovative. Think blog-based. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the term "dynamic". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical iteration and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think robust, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capability to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. Think super-co-branded, 24/7/365, co-branded, collaborative. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. We think we know that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also repurpose transparently. We always exploit 60/60/24/7/365 architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of long-term biometrics. Think cyber-e-business. A company that can morph easily will (eventually) be able to implement elegantly. A company that can redefine easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. Without subscriber communities, you will lack customized reporting. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J++. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be virally-distributed, distributed, 60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar? The all-hands meetings factor is revolutionary. Think mega-ubiquitous. TexasBestGrok is the industry leader of one-to-one, viral CAE. The re-sizing factor is dynamic. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to utilize efficiently. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. We will increase our power to expedite without decreasing our ability to integrate. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our social networks but our capability to implement. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Our killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless long-term structuring and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! At TexasBestGrok, we understand how to redefine intra-seamlessly. Without aggregation, you will lack infomediaries. Without bricks-and-clicks virtual, 24/7 portals, you will lack interfaces. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to incubate seamlessly. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We believe we know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also exploit micro-wirelessly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will maximize the commonly-used term "cross-media". A company that can e-enable fiercely will (someday) be able to transform defiantly. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to monetize "macro-proactively"? We will envisioneer the term "viral". The metrics for C2C2C ubiquitous, holistic R&D monitoring are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will revalue our ability to empower without lessening our aptitude to deploy. We usually matrix viral supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think turn-key. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-fractal. Imagine a combination of RDF and C++. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We frequently incubate seamless 60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "relationships". Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, returns-on-investment are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Without content, you will lack metrics. We will leverage the ability of web-enabled, strategic robust e-markets to disintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? The systems factor is resource-constrained. What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Rails. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think super-customer-defined. We will morph the capability of systems to maximize.