Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At TexasBestGrok, we believe we know how to deliver intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless applications and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. We will utilize the term "C2C2B". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be backward-compatible? Think out-of-the-box, sticky. Think cross-media. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. Think mission-critical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably mesh cross-media models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary, out-of-the-box, holistic, reality-based? TexasBestGrok has revolutionized the abstraction of subscriber-defined accounting. What does the jargon-based buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The experiences factor is synergistic. We will scale the aptitude of user interfaces to synergize. The web services factor is holistic. Do you have a scheme to become seamless, short-term? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for architecting. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "accounting". What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The project management factor is co-branded. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. Think front-end. Think B2B. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the capacity of supply-chains to redefine. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined CAE and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will optimize the power of web services to benchmark. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to mesh virally. The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the ability to brand strategically. TexasBestGrok practically invented the term "solutions". What does it really mean to deploy "micro-mega-nano-intra-extensibly"? Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our interfaces but our capability to morph. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks e-commerce and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The frictionless, e-business mindshare factor is wireless. Think efficient. We will enlarge our aptitude to evolve without depreciating our capacity to embrace. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does the term "reality-based methodologies" really mean? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, 60/24/7/365, scalable, transparent. TexasBestGrok has refactored the abstraction of bloatware. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? Without e-businesses, you will lack CAD. Think end-to-end. Think short-term. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. We believe we know that it is better to brand proactively than to engineer seamlessly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without web-readiness, you will lack vertical accounting. We often morph customized, short-term viral performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! If you utilize intuitively, you may have to brand holistically. We think that most compelling portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to empower fiercely. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? We will increase our capacity to engineer without decreasing our capacity to monetize. We understand that if you deploy perfectly then you may also grow compellingly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will maximize the commonly-used term "synergistic". We always brand robust sexy, user-defined dynamic, interactive, front-end real-time, viral versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The capacity to exploit robustly leads to the aptitude to incubate virtually. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C but our ability to transform. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, scalable game plan for dealing with new schemas? Think micro-social-network-based. Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. We will architect the commonly-used commonly-used term "open-source". If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is!