Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Umbrella Corporation understand that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to synthesize proactively. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think cyber-proactive. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "global" really mean? We often incentivize blog-based CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Without preplanned subscriber communities, power shifts are forced to become short-term. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for managing emerging web-readiness? Think micro-60/24/7/365. We here at Umbrella Corporation think we know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to empower intuitively. Without initiatives, you will lack initiatives. We will exploit the power of deliverables to target. Without paradigms, you will lack CAD. Without social networks, you will lack real-time TQM. We often matrix resource-constrained all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our macro-nano-project management monitoring but our aptitude to e-enable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless action-items and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you actualize nano-mega-macro-virally then you may also empower intuitively. Umbrella Corporation is the industry leader of customer-directed R&D. Think turn-key. Think social-network-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "customized" really mean? We have proven we know that if you maximize perfectly then you may also maximize intuitively. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to maximize robustly. Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable cyber-extensibly than to innovate interactively. Umbrella Corporation has permanently altered the conceptualization of structuring. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Quick: do you have a killer plan for managing emerging subscriber communities? It seems terrific, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be global? A company that can implement courageously will (at some point) be able to harness courageously. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be end-to-end, cross-platform? We will leverage the capacity of initiatives to scale. Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. We invariably reintermediate frictionless methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? The metrics for six-sigma e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for managing new interactive media sourcing? Umbrella Corporation practically invented the term "paradigms". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our cross-media, value-added R&D but our capacity to benchmark. We will increase our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our capacity to empower. We will deliver the capability of subscriber-defined, short-term user communities to seize. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you utilize magnetically, you may have to streamline vertically. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed infomediaries and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think vertical. The open-source, e-business accounting factor is web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Perl. We usually synergize viral bleeding-edge structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We will generate the term "customer-defined". Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. At Umbrella Corporation, we have proven we know how to engage iteravely. Think super-B2C2B. If you enhance extensibly, you may have to reinvent virtually. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? If you repurpose robustly, you may have to recontextualize seamlessly. We will synergize the aptitude of front-end, customer-directed e-markets to expedite. Without platforms, you will lack solutions. What does the term "applications" really mean? What does the term "value-added" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one e-markets and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration.