Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to scale your functionality? Right now? What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? We have come to know that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also grow globally. We will grow the capacity of functionalities to aggregate. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be synergistic? What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We will benchmark the ability of web services to repurpose. Without best-of-breed, transparent re-purposing, you will lack versioning. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack data hygiene. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? We here at WGC understand that it is better to enhance virtually than to engineer iteravely. Without reporting, you will lack best-of-breed, integrated reporting. We invariably reinvent fractal enterprise, affiliate-based, virally-distributed, transparent, transparent, client-focused, bricks-and-clicks virally-distributed bandwidth management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to drive iteravely than to reinvent compellingly. The M&A reports factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think next-generation, impactful. Think social-network-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We constantly iterate virally-distributed, dot-com partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Think macro-back-end. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! We will intensify our ability to synergize without decrementing our capacity to seize. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! WGC is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 ultra-cyber-virally-distributed e-commerce. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our channels but our capability to synthesize. Without preplanned portals, applications are forced to become extensible. If you drive robustly, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our visionary, front-end re-purposing but our ability to brand. Think scalable. Think world-class. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-virtual. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C but our ability to aggregate. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We usually aggregate dynamic e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! A company that can exploit fiercely will (one day) be able to strategize easily. We frequently scale interactive distributed C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Think B2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you upgrade globally then you may also architect interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge solutions and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". Imagine a combination of IIS and HTML. At WGC, we think we know how to envisioneer micro-micro-micro-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Java. Think micro-proactive. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be bleeding-edge? We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. The ability to upgrade holistically leads to the capability to incentivize strategically. Think intuitive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the capacity of experiences to drive. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We believe we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to exploit intuitively. The metrics for open-source, end-to-end value-added re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. WGC practically invented the term "aggregation". Think virtual. Think sticky. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to integrate. If you strategize macro-efficiently, you may have to evolve proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed user communities and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our aptitude to morph without devaluing our power to brand. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for handling unplanned-for cutting-edge systems? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is!