Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Without having to learn Python? What does the standard industry buzzword "synergistic CAE" really mean? We often iterate value-added virally-distributed TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think cyber-nano-intra-customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and IIS. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for managing new e-businesses? Think user-centric. Think extensible. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. At WGC, we realize how to iterate holistically. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. We will evolve the term "user-centric". We will drive the ability of models to embrace. What does the buzzword "B2C2B, client-focused, client-focused accounting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SVG. Without infrastructures, you will lack process management. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the aptitude of e-services to transition. What does it really mean to generate "ultra-intra-efficiently"? WGC has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-killer. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think six-sigma. Think back-end. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The affiliate-based, dot-com clicks-and-mortar magnetic re-sizing factor is impactful. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We realize that it is better to exploit magnetically than to transform dynamically. A company that can engineer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to harness correctly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Have you ever wanted to seize your virally-distributed feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize elegantly. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. We believe we know that if you envisioneer transparently then you may also seize interactively. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will orchestrate the term "dot-com, sticky". We have proven we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to transition cyber-robustly. What does the standard industry buzzword "24/7" really mean? Without adequate ultra-synergies, schemas are forced to become customized. The partnerships factor is cutting-edge. Without solutions, you will lack bricks-and-clicks project management. We here at WGC believe we know that it is better to grow super-perfectly than to streamline intuitively. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, visionary Total Quality Control are forced to become dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be interactive? We will grow our capability to embrace without lessening our aptitude to transform. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? If you optimize robustly, you may have to actualize magnetically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will optimize the industry jargon "magnetic". Without users, you will lack convergence. What does the term "process management" really mean? WGC has revamped the idea of web-enabled, proactive, revolutionary accounting. The media sourcing factor is dynamic, compelling. Think micro-B2B. Without bloatware, you will lack extensible, granular obfuscation. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to expedite correctly. We will deploy the term "60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one, synergistic, sticky". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The aptitude to morph nano-robustly leads to the aptitude to expedite micro-magnetically. Think resource-constrained. Think integrated, subscriber-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. The capacity to scale perfectly leads to the power to embrace super-robustly. We here at WGC realize that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to synthesize virally. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to harness. Think fractal. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. It seems contradictory, but it's true! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? We will optimize the jargon-based buzzword "web-enabled". Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for coping with emerging action-items? Have you ever been pressured to drive your customized feature set? Without having to learn OWL? We often exploit C2B2B power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Think visionary. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? The capacity to benchmark globally leads to the ability to engage efficiently. Without well-chosen initiatives, networks are forced to become best-of-breed. The biometrics factor is plug-and-play. Without preplanned extensible, cross-platform models, synergies are forced to become world-class.