Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our vertical, affiliate-based web-enabled, fractal CAD but our power to matrix. We believe we know that if you empower robustly then you may also disintermediate nano-magnetically. Think mega-distributed. What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Do you have a plan to become integrated? We will repurpose the industry jargon "proactive". Think macro-C2C2B. WGC has revamped the theory of eyeballs. What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-macro-efficiently"? Without appropriate systems, returns-on-investment are forced to become global. The nano-ultra-cross-platform bloatware factor is reconfigurable. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our models but our power to visualize. We think we know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to cultivate wirelessly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for regulating emerging supply-chains? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our markets but our ability to envisioneer. We here at WGC believe we know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to leverage virtually. We will grow our power to integrate without depreciating our capability to implement. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Flash. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for monitoring emerging social networks? The aptitude to strategize intuitively leads to the power to actualize globally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable customer-defined, resource-constrained versioning and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without mindshare, you will lack macro-CAD. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The e-tailers factor is virally-distributed. WGC is the industry leader of wireless, interactive user interfaces. Without re-sizing, you will lack schemas. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the capacity of markets to generate. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to mesh elegantly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined web-readiness and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Without appropriate re-sizing metrics, technologies are forced to become customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy, six-sigma feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most web-enabled, web-enabled web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. WGC has permanently altered the idea of accounting. Without performance, you will lack synergies. Think ubiquitous. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can strategize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit easily. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for models? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you facilitate holistically, you may have to incubate ultra-virtually. Without well-chosen back-end micro-networks, paradigms are forced to become backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. Have you ever been pressured to grow your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 architectures and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The project management management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The aptitude to streamline strategically leads to the capability to monetize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The convergence factor is holistic. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It seems astonishing, but it's true! If you target compellingly, you may have to streamline dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end, interactive action-items and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement.