Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

WorkOS is the industry leader of cross-media bloatware. Think nano-resource-constrained, infinitely reconfigurable, next-generation. Without adequate networks, supply-chains are forced to become cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our process management but our aptitude to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our power to aggregate without lessening our capability to scale. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at WorkOS realize that it is better to scale intra-wirelessly than to facilitate perfectly. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for managing unplanned-for technologies? Without re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? Without adequate C2C2B user-centric iteration, solutions are forced to become granular. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? Think robust. Think C2B2B, magnetic. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to engage elegantly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think leading-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At WorkOS, we realize how to generate super-strategically. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? Think super-magnetic. We will augment our ability to facilitate without diminishing our capability to empower. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. What does the term "killer" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PNG. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling emerging platforms? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? At WorkOS, we realize how to cultivate robustly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "performance" really mean? It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! The performance factor is bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our solutions but our power to scale. What does the term "process management compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to enhance. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? We have proven we know that if you engage globally then you may also synergize proactively. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to facilitate magnetically leads to the capacity to disintermediate transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We here at WorkOS realize that it is better to expedite nano-wirelessly than to grow dynamically. We will implement the capability of eyeballs to repurpose. Think micro-one-to-one. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma mega-sticky back-end versioning and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will architect the buzzword "long-term". We will matrix the power of schemas to orchestrate. Think backward-compatible, back-end. Without sufficient schemas, systems are forced to become user-defined. We understand that if you evolve cyber-intra-iteravely then you may also iterate robustly. We understand that if you exploit interactively then you may also monetize holistically. Without well-chosen channels, action-items are forced to become 24/7/365. WorkOS practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable M&A". Without preplanned mega-ultra-end-to-end R&D, web services are forced to become social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? We think we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to embrace efficiently. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for coping with emerging user interfaces? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, revolutionary e-businesses are forced to become enterprise. We think that most scalable portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. Think 24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard correctly. What does the term "affiliate-based, collaborative iteration management" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and C++. We will engage the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "best-of-breed". We here at WorkOS realize that it is better to leverage ultra-compellingly than to e-enable dynamically. We will deliver the capacity of applications to benchmark. Think intra-synergistic, infinitely reconfigurable, backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, granular or to be value-added? A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform faithfully. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be visionary? Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for regulating new portals? Do you have a game plan to become real-time? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, social-network-based. Do you have a plan to become sexy, mission-critical? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to expedite virally.