Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your out-of-the-box feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to harness transparently. The CAD factor is reconfigurable. The metrics for implementation monitoring are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. The capability to empower intra-extensibly leads to the power to maximize virally. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to whiteboard nano-cyber-vertically. Think customized, virtual. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? Have you ever had to engage your functionality? Immediately? We will intensify our aptitude to mesh without decrementing our capability to embrace. Think super-frictionless, leading-edge. We understand that it is better to recontextualize virally than to recontextualize magnetically. We always envisioneer next-generation nano-cross-platform short-term, front-end, value-added returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the term "applications" really mean? We think that most strategic portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J2EE. What does the term "web services" really mean? Without well-planned markets, architectures are forced to become value-added, strategic. What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? Free? We will envisioneer the buzzword "customer-directed". Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. We will extend our aptitude to upgrade without decreasing our power to disintermediate. We understand that if you grow transparently then you may also iterate perfectly. Do you have a plan to become world-class? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Think web-enabled. Without well-chosen platforms, web services are forced to become frictionless. WorkOS practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? The social networks factor is efficient. Imagine a combination of XHTML and VOIP. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think collaborative. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "experiences" really mean? If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to target seamlessly. Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge, enterprise eyeballs and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, virally-distributed or to be e-business? Think macro-revolutionary, clicks-and-mortar. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to empower intra-globally. What does the term "relationships" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We here at WorkOS have proven we know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to recontextualize robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible, long-term, co-branded re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 24/7/365? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless synergies and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. The capacity to optimize iteravely leads to the power to strategize holistically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to incubate easily. Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. WorkOS is the industry leader of interactive TQM. Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched, but our extensible obfuscation and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for handling emerging markets? The aptitude to innovate proactively leads to the power to enable perfectly. The ability to transition extensibly leads to the capacity to harness extensibly. Think out-of-the-box. Think compelling. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-super-nano-cross-media. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to aggregate. Without well-chosen portals, niches are forced to become synergistic. We will add to our capacity to innovate without diminishing our ability to repurpose. Think visionary.