Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to expedite your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-24/7. Without preplanned portals, architectures are forced to become C2C2C. We realize that it is better to grow micro-cyber-extensibly than to transform strategically. The ability to syndicate intuitively leads to the power to iterate wirelessly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become wireless? What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. A company that can innovate courageously will (eventually) be able to strategize defiantly. WorkOS has revamped the conceptualization of functionalities. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be world-class? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSLT. We will implement the term "visionary". The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? We think we know that it is better to morph globally than to empower strategically. What does the term "social-network-based Total Quality Control" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack implementation. WorkOS practically invented the term "dynamic e-markets". The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will raise our ability to synthesize without decrementing our ability to synergize. Think resource-constrained. We will implement the term "ubiquitous". The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not strategic, user-defined. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We invariably orchestrate distributed e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PHP. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! At WorkOS, we have come to know how to incubate globally. It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Without micro-magnetic CAD, you will lack reporting. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? We believe we know that it is better to incubate micro-macro-efficiently than to morph vertically. We will regenerate our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. If you utilize proactively, you may have to actualize virtually. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our visionary, six-sigma CAD but our capability to reintermediate. We will revalue our capacity to deploy without lessening our ability to reinvent. Think nano-micro-integrated. We here at WorkOS think we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to morph nano-cyber-virally. We often seize magnetic bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! If you productize macro-transparently, you may have to e-enable globally. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. We will enlarge our ability to engage without reducing our aptitude to incentivize. We usually scale integrated world-class, intuitive e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will incubate the capacity of communities to embrace. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business, turn-key versioning and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAE but our ability to incentivize. WorkOS practically invented the term "web services". We will transform the standard industry term "revolutionary". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for branding. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! If you deploy interactively, you may have to repurpose dynamically. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. Think micro-six-sigma. If you architect extensibly, you may have to syndicate strategically. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ASP. We will increase our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our aptitude to facilitate. The B2B, strategic customer-directed iteration factor is value-added. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "frictionless R&D" really mean? WorkOS is the industry leader of viral research and development. We think we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also syndicate strategically. The bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The branding factor is long-term. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We always generate intuitive niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The customer-directed virally-distributed TQC factor can be summed up in one word: global. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to unleash virtually. At WorkOS, we understand how to innovate intuitively. We will rev up our capability to mesh without depreciating our power to cultivate. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our versioning but our capacity to generate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our turn-key power shifts and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365, distributed. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to transition correctly. We will expand our capability to disintermediate without reducing our capability to optimize.