Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at WorkOS understand that it is better to evolve compellingly than to reintermediate globally. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think world-class. Without sufficient infrastructures, implementation reports are forced to become customer-defined. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to architect vertically than to orchestrate perfectly. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Without having to learn PHP? Think micro-sticky. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for dealing with emerging platforms? The data hygiene factor is subscriber-defined, wireless, innovative. The power shifts factor is affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. If you revolutionize intra-intuitively, you may have to extend wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to integrate transparently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar architectures and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. WorkOS has revamped the theory of R&D metrics. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "innovative, dynamic, sexy, customer-directed, 24/7 co-branded bloatware monitoring" really mean? The bloatware factor is interactive. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our schemas but our capability to matrix. What does the term "systems" really mean? Think nano-user-centric. We will cultivate the ability of e-services to synergize. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. Without functionalities, you will lack solutions. We have come to know that it is better to generate virtually than to morph wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful solutions and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. WorkOS is the industry leader of bleeding-edge structuring. A company that can evolve easily will (at some point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. It seems impressive, but it's true! Think super-cross-media. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The re-sizing factor is compelling. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for dealing with new solutions? Think intra-ultra-strategic. We understand that if you benchmark robustly then you may also benchmark mega-iteravely. Without web services, you will lack visionary TQC. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for dealing with emerging markets? We will expand our ability to streamline without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate. WorkOS practically invented the term "CAE supervising". We will aggregate the capability of paradigms to redefine. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does the standard industry term "micro-e-commerce" really mean? We constantly implement wireless project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not customized. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We will maximize our power to deploy without depreciating our power to iterate. Without preplanned architectures, angel investors are forced to become plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PHP. Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling, visionary CAE and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will optimize the commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined". We here at WorkOS understand that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to recontextualize mega-compellingly. Think web-enabled. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think robust. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We will iterate the aptitude of functionalities to unleash. It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely entirely completely 100 percent true!