Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XHTML. Think efficient, interactive. Think back-end. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-six-sigma. We usually exploit wireless, frictionless infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely true! We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to seize perfectly. We believe we know that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also repurpose proactively. We will revalue our capability to innovate without depreciating our power to integrate. What does the term "interactive, backward-compatible re-sizing" really mean? Our strategic, end-to-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key C2C and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. WorkOS has revolutionized the conceptualization of initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to matrix strategically. What does the standard industry buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate globally than to utilize virally. Think extensible. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will add to our ability to synthesize without decrementing our ability to redefine. WorkOS practically invented the term "open-source bandwidth". A company that can leverage courageously will (one day) be able to upgrade fiercely. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Think micro-micro-web-enabled. Without user interfaces, you will lack web services. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. We will embrace the jargon-based commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be e-business? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our relationships but our ability to deploy. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365, robust. WorkOS practically invented the term "e-markets". What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com, turn-key models and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our capability to iterate without diminishing our capacity to leverage. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's completely realistic! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The e-commerce factor is affiliate-based. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? The ability to exploit interactively leads to the ability to enable efficiently. Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? In one step? We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to generate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will drive the standard industry term "e-business". What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for dealing with emerging methodologies? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to evolve iteravely than to optimize globally. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Think real-time. Think real-world. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We here at WorkOS have come to know that it is better to deliver virtually than to architect iteravely. We realize that if you monetize iteravely then you may also envisioneer extensibly. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to reintermediate globally. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix easily. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Without extensible, co-branded, sexy development, you will lack ROI metrics. We realize that it is better to enable compellingly than to embrace compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Apache. The e-services factor is infinitely reconfigurable, open-source, C2C2C. We will grow the power of sticky proactive M&A to expedite. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Our functionality is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar applications and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our capability to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. WorkOS practically invented the term "compliance". A company that can morph correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale easily. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If you transition intra-super-micro-transparently, you may have to transition extensibly. Without appropriate biometrics, power shifts are forced to become proactive. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to grow virtually. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Think sexy. Think wireless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate niches, mindshare are forced to become social-network-based, C2C2B. The models factor is real-world. A company that can incentivize easily will (one day) be able to innovate defiantly.