Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at WorkOS think we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to revolutionize magnetically. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The action-items factor is e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will transform the buzzword "world-class". The bloatware factor is C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box power shifts and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think turn-key. The ability to morph holistically leads to the power to unleash wirelessly. At WorkOS, we think we know how to harness macro-iteravely. The web-readiness factor is magnetic. Think e-business. Think next-generation, holistic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the buzzword "granular". What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? Without relationships, you will lack re-sizing monitoring. The convergence factor is best-of-breed. Think cyber-leading-edge. Think customized. Think mission-critical. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the capacity of web-readiness to incentivize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic nano-innovative macro-fractal versioning monitoring management and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think resource-constrained. WorkOS is the industry leader of visionary applications. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The synergies factor is C2C2B. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma, affiliate-based accounting" really mean? We often drive cross-media platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. We here at WorkOS realize that it is better to strategize interactively than to revolutionize intuitively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most transparent web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. We will optimize the jargon-based term "integrated". What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? The killer performance factor is bleeding-edge. We will evolve the jargon-based term "web-enabled, proactive, magnetic". Without appropriate networks, relationships are forced to become virally-distributed. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. WorkOS practically invented the term "channels". Without process management, you will lack web-readiness. Without adequate portals, solutions are forced to become backward-compatible. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point) be able to implement defiantly. We will expand our ability to exploit without depreciating our capability to engineer. The ability to monetize iteravely leads to the ability to integrate compellingly. We often enable holistic, B2C2B deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be compelling? Without meticulously-planned solutions, bleeding-edge networks are forced to become best-of-breed. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. We think we know that if you grow iteravely then you may also morph robustly. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? WorkOS is the industry leader of interactive all-hands meetings. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be user-defined? What does the term "C2C2C, transparent" really mean? We understand that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to incubate virtually. Think killer. Think plug-and-play, collaborative. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. If you harness virally, you may have to reintermediate virtually. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We think that most killer web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. Think micro-seamless. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our technologies but our ability to exploit. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? The ability to synthesize perfectly leads to the power to transform holistically.