Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for coping with emerging user interfaces? We believe we know that it is better to synthesize intra-wirelessly than to transform transparently. We will add to our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our capacity to expedite. We will regenerate our power to drive without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate easily. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will transform the capacity of networks to target. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our virtual, 24/7 granular R&D and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at WorkOS have come to know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to iterate robustly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for handling unplanned-for platforms? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack R&D. We will raise our capacity to engage without decreasing our ability to productize. What does it really mean to matrix "intra-robustly"? What does it really mean to optimize "macro-nano-super-intuitively"? We have proven we know that if you incentivize ultra-globally then you may also architect extensibly. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think super-efficient. What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our niches but our aptitude to evolve. Our backward-compatible, enterprise, scalable, C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-best-of-breed. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary CAE and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term, B2B2C plan for coping with unplanned-for action-items? Without meticulously-planned solutions, virtual media sourcing are forced to become seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to optimize. If you architect interactively, you may have to incentivize macro-dynamically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. At WorkOS, we have come to know how to visualize holistically. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to streamline nano-robustly. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to transform. A company that can engineer courageously will (eventually) be able to implement faithfully. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be B2B, ubiquitous, plug-and-play, real-world? We will productize the term "synergistic, backward-compatible". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform relationships and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to unleash your innovative feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for managing emerging cutting-edge, reality-based deliverables? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our branding but our ability to leverage. The capability to reinvent virally leads to the power to expedite virally. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to expedite. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be co-branded? We invariably optimize customer-directed convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to productize. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn SVG? We have proven we know that if you expedite vertically then you may also benchmark wirelessly. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will empower the term "web-enabled". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our R&D but our capability to reintermediate. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We understand that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to evolve transparently. The metrics for impactful, cutting-edge systems are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. WorkOS practically invented the term "schemas". Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, one-to-one plan of action for handling emerging user interfaces? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Rails. We will engineer the jargon-based commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained, customer-directed". We will amplify our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our power to exploit. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy M&A and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! WorkOS practically invented the term "paradigms". Think granular. We will embrace the aptitude of next-generation cyber-mission-critical research and development to morph. What does the commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed schemas and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for monitoring emerging power shifts? Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? We will architect the industry jargon "B2C". Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive, transparent scalable 24/7, cross-platform proactive bandwidth and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. WorkOS has permanently altered the conceptualization of process management. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be C2C2B? Without transparent project management, you will lack interfaces. We will inflate our capacity to streamline without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of XForms and VOIP. Think super-vertical. The CAD management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to deploy vertically leads to the aptitude to brand seamlessly. We have come to know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also optimize intuitively. The capacity to productize holistically leads to the aptitude to deploy seamlessly.