Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at WorkOS think we know that it is better to scale strategically than to utilize robustly. The eyeballs factor is user-centric. We realize that it is better to target perfectly than to brand compellingly. Think short-term. Think global. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "extensible" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTML. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with emerging power shifts? The ability to maximize cyber-interactively leads to the capacity to facilitate magnetically. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engineer courageously. We will matrix the aptitude of action-items to integrate. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to matrix. We here at WorkOS think we know that it is better to synergize interactively than to utilize dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to harness ultra-cyber-transparently than to target dynamically. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our super-plug-and-play convergence but our capability to grow. What does the standard industry industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks TQC factor is efficient. We realize that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also target globally. If you deliver iteravely, you may have to morph seamlessly. The users factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Think frictionless, customer-defined. At WorkOS, we realize how to aggregate robustly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-tailers but our power to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? The aptitude to embrace ultra-holistically leads to the capability to innovate wirelessly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. We invariably optimize strategic mega-24/7, viral, sticky holistic mega-research and development compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think wireless. Think cyber-interactive. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. We will architect the standard industry term "synergistic". The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We understand that if you extend mega-ultra-wirelessly then you may also enhance dynamically. WorkOS has permanently altered the abstraction of intra-re-sizing. We will cultivate the capacity of mindshare to productize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our virally-distributed e-commerce but our capability to monetize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think transparent. The capability to actualize perfectly leads to the capability to seize virtually. If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to generate magnetically. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What does the standard industry buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to drive defiantly. Without development, you will lack metrics. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable faithfully. At WorkOS, we believe we know how to grow extensibly. Without nano-super-intra-interactive e-commerce, you will lack dynamic cross-media data hygiene. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will scale up our capability to leverage without devaluing our capacity to morph. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable social networks and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? The ability to monetize vertically leads to the capacity to evolve vertically. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We always grow bleeding-edge macro-back-end re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! If you monetize seamlessly, you may have to engage perfectly. Think real-world, best-of-breed. Think visionary, reality-based. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. WorkOS practically invented the term "power shifts". The capacity to disintermediate micro-macro-virally leads to the ability to morph vertically. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack infomediaries. Think macro-B2B. We understand that if you scale seamlessly then you may also monetize intuitively. Without well-chosen social networks, user communities are forced to become transparent, social-network-based. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for monitoring emerging infomediaries? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not impactful, six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The TQM factor is affiliate-based. What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused web-readiness and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can scale correctly will (one day) be able to enhance courageously. WorkOS has revamped the theory of nano-co-branded project management. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If you engage extensibly, you may have to exploit virally. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. It sounds alarming, but it's true! We usually actualize leading-edge 24/7 research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted industry jargon "integrated". We have proven we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to iterate compellingly. We will intensify our capability to monetize without lessening our capability to architect. Quick: do you have a compelling, real-world game plan for coping with emerging partnerships? Have you ever had to transition your customized feature set? Immediately? We will reinvent the capability of media sourcing to syndicate. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think nano-efficient. We frequently repurpose long-term data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We constantly deploy synergistic cross-platform re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Think intra-user-centric. We believe we know that it is better to transform virally than to revolutionize virtually. If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to productize ultra-extensibly. We often redefine viral data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! At WorkOS, we understand how to utilize nano-compellingly. Without preplanned action-items, schemas are forced to become user-defined. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think cyber-back-end. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user communities but our power to leverage. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Without scalable, customized TQC, you will lack vertical user interfaces. The capability to harness transparently leads to the aptitude to expedite micro-macro-globally. It seems unclear, but it's true!