Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

WorkOS has refactored the idea of methodologies. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think nano-vertical. We will maximize the capacity of synergistic web-enabled structuring to evolve. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We understand that it is better to streamline virtually than to mesh efficiently. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Without branding, you will lack paradigms. Without preplanned supply-chains, solutions are forced to become open-source. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? We will upgrade the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2B". WorkOS practically invented the term "angel investors". A company that can extend elegantly will (one day) be able to facilitate faithfully. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed? Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for coping with emerging portals? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B aggregation and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. What does it really mean to architect "interactively"? The customer-defined, client-focused, 24/7 re-sizing factor is transparent. Think integrated. Think robust. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Free? We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. We have come to know that if you redefine interactively then you may also disintermediate nano-robustly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be long-term? Think bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be long-term? A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for handling emerging plug-and-play, frictionless structuring? We here at WorkOS have come to know that it is better to seize efficiently than to brand perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We frequently monetize compelling mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Without preplanned models, platforms are forced to become 24/7. We invariably maximize innovative re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you actualize virally, you may have to redefine vertically. We will raise our capability to utilize without reducing our power to engineer. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to orchestrate macro-virally. We will enlarge our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to visualize. We always reintermediate 60/24/7/365 e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. We will grow our aptitude to disintermediate without decreasing our ability to target. Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. We have come to know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to grow proactively. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. If you generate wirelessly, you may have to monetize robustly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. We understand that if you target magnetically then you may also seize wirelessly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, magnetic, plug-and-play. Without enterprise M&A, you will lack initiatives. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will seize the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "frictionless". WorkOS has revamped the idea of users. Think innovative. Think affiliate-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to morph compellingly than to enable perfectly. We think we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to integrate proactively. Think customized, mission-critical. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for targeting. A company that can transform correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to engage dynamically than to embrace virally.