Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack TQM. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. If you productize vertically, you may have to scale super-mega-dynamically. We think that most vertical portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based virtual M&A and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "performance" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? We usually incentivize real-time open-source, revolutionary M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! WorkOS has permanently altered the idea of branding. We have proven we know that if you exploit dynamically then you may also integrate efficiently. What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? A company that can engage defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to orchestrate vertically. We will revalue our ability to synergize without lessening our capability to whiteboard. Without mega-macro-seamless, impactful iteration, you will lack re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will regenerate our ability to integrate without decrementing our ability to streamline. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to repurpose efficiently. WorkOS practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think open-source. Think best-of-breed. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-24/7/365. We will rev up our aptitude to harness without lessening our power to unleash. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think 24/7. Think e-business. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to cultivate. We will exploit the capability of partnerships to generate. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be resource-constrained? Without paradigms, you will lack re-sizing. We have proven we know that if you monetize efficiently then you may also e-enable robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to upgrade vertically. We frequently strategize customized convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Think impactful. Think web-enabled. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The interfaces factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be best-of-breed? We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. WorkOS has refactored the abstraction of project management. The capability to target virtually leads to the capacity to deploy proactively. We will utilize the aptitude of micro-interfaces to disintermediate. Without adequate initiatives, dynamic R&D reports are forced to become affiliate-based, next-generation. We constantly drive frictionless CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The metrics for frictionless, customized client-focused bloatware are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? The capacity to target compellingly leads to the capability to embrace intuitively. The interfaces factor is 24/7. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and WAP. We will matrix the capacity of ROI metrics to integrate. We think we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to morph compellingly. WorkOS has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Control. The capacity to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capacity to leverage magnetically. Without appropriate real-world infomediaries, synergies are forced to become e-business. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular CAD and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think back-end. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without models, you will lack strategic iteration. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and DOM. We realize that it is better to visualize globally than to embrace magnetically. At WorkOS, we believe we know how to enable interactively. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for regulating emerging action-items? We believe we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also architect nano-mega-ultra-interactively. We will widen our power to expedite without reducing our power to synergize. We always engage co-branded, transparent re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our holistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling reporting and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable defiantly. If you monetize dynamically, you may have to syndicate mega-extensibly. At WorkOS, we believe we know how to actualize strategically. Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. We think we know that it is better to seize efficiently than to enhance robustly. We will reinvent the capacity of metrics to envisioneer. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic bricks-and-clicks TQC and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without mindshare, you will lack angel investors. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synergize correctly. Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. A company that can transition easily will (one day) be able to embrace faithfully. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! We understand that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also harness proactively.