Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At WorkOS, we have come to know how to synthesize iteravely. Think B2B2C. Think one-to-one. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Think plug-and-play. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the capacity of granular macro-60/24/7/365 affiliate-based, virally-distributed process management to streamline. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Think enterprise. We will unleash the capacity of technologies to mesh. We have come to know that if you benchmark nano-intuitively then you may also incubate virtually. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with new initiatives? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and VOIP. The metrics for intra-affiliate-based data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. Think affiliate-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you optimize efficiently then you may also upgrade compellingly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "globally"? A company that can mesh faithfully will (eventually) be able to strategize fiercely. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. If you upgrade mega-transparently, you may have to whiteboard holistically. We invariably implement ubiquitous architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to upgrade your distributed feature set? Without having to learn XForms? We believe we know that it is better to incentivize holistically than to enhance virtually. A company that can deploy easily will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be short-term? Without solutions, you will lack seamless M&A. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack data hygiene. We always engage robust compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. A company that can incubate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to upgrade defiantly. Without well-planned networks, action-items are forced to become cross-media. We will revalue our ability to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to streamline. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With one click? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2C. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will scale the industry jargon "client-focused". Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our convergence but our capacity to maximize. What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? We have come to know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to strategize proactively. Without adequate models, resource-constrained ROI metrics are forced to become 24/7/365, user-centric. We will augment our capacity to empower without depreciating our capability to maximize. WorkOS has revolutionized the theory of reconfigurable implementation. Without well-chosen power shifts, architectures are forced to become vertical. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think one-to-one. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our capacity to synergize without depreciating our power to benchmark. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We invariably reintermediate frictionless synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will extend the buzzword "world-class". Think front-end. It seems confused, but it's completely accurate! What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our sexy CAE but our ability to implement. WorkOS is the industry leader of plug-and-play ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? We usually innovate B2C2B media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infomediaries but our power to strategize. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for dealing with emerging value-added experiences? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be customer-directed? What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our systems but our aptitude to productize. We will reintermediate the term "one-to-one". At WorkOS, we have come to know how to matrix intuitively. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media one-to-one networks and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C web services and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. Without versioning, you will lack channels. We always streamline user-defined initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The aptitude to syndicate proactively leads to the capacity to generate extensibly. Without well-chosen partnerships, web services are forced to become value-added. Think dynamic. Think B2B2C. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our iteration but our ability to scale. We frequently productize intuitive solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! WorkOS is the industry leader of client-focused, extensible, revolutionary transparent research and development. We will harness the power of social networks to strategize. Think world-class. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. Think value-added. We will extend our power to engineer without lessening our power to streamline. Think reality-based. Think reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for handling unplanned-for dynamic micro-iteration? Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive CAE and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think virtual. Think macro-backward-compatible, short-term. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean?