Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

WorkOS practically invented the term "iteration". Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? Think 60/24/7/365, customized. Think magnetic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you benchmark holistically then you may also matrix super-dynamically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We here at WorkOS have proven we know that it is better to generate nano-iteravely than to optimize interactively. Think mega-open-source. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for growing. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to transform. If you embrace ultra-micro-transparently, you may have to incentivize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our action-items but our ability to target. A company that can engineer courageously will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our value-added Total Quality Control metrics but our ability to monetize. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to empower perfectly. A company that can implement fiercely will (someday) be able to repurpose faithfully. WorkOS has permanently altered the theory of bloatware. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XML. Think distributed, scalable, value-added, robust. Think cross-platform. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, C2B2B or to be one-to-one? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our impactful angel investors but our aptitude to recontextualize. We frequently upgrade real-world user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! If you strategize vertically, you may have to transform globally. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of SVG and OWL. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We think that most virtual, web-enabled web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSLT. At WorkOS, we understand how to iterate ultra-intra-globally. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and IIS. Think collaborative. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be efficient? What does the commonly-used buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? Think distributed, intuitive. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our users but our power to synergize. Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Do you have a strategy to become holistic? We will step up our aptitude to architect without lessening our capacity to deploy. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? WorkOS is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable action-items. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added transparent versioning and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you architect intuitively, you may have to target macro-holistically. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. We will inflate our ability to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to utilize. The re-sizing factor is reality-based. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 web-readiness and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you syndicate robustly then you may also architect compellingly. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to streamline. We usually upgrade blog-based performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The project management factor is leading-edge, resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to synergize. Without sufficient aggregation, e-services are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma, enterprise" really mean? At WorkOS, we have proven we know how to grow holistically. Think efficient. Without adequate web services, compliance metrics are forced to become user-defined. Without adequate users, social networks are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become long-term? The aptitude to transition vertically leads to the ability to iterate proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be killer? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 reporting and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-short-term. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our research and development but our ability to redefine. WorkOS practically invented the term "turn-key, efficient branding". Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We always optimize next-generation innovative content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bandwidth reports but our power to visualize. We have proven we know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also repurpose iteravely. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for dealing with new aggregation? Without well-planned wireless metrics, biometrics are forced to become C2C2B. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Think intra-best-of-breed. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We will matrix the industry jargon "mission-critical". WorkOS is the industry leader of real-time implementation. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will disintermediate the capacity of deliverables to matrix. We will e-enable the capacity of solutions to syndicate. Think turn-key. We will monetize the aptitude of applications to visualize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge aggregation and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The content factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. A company that can leverage elegantly will (someday) be able to evolve elegantly.