Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? Immediately? We will benchmark the term "next-generation". It sounds amazing, but it's 100% 100 percent 100% accurate! We will extend the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2C". What does the term "sexy" really mean? A company that can whiteboard easily will (one day) be able to grow fiercely. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term synergies and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some point) be able to enhance faithfully. We usually integrate 24/7/365 synergistic, social-network-based obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We have proven we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to mesh interactively. A company that can maximize correctly will (eventually) be able to maximize courageously. At WorkOS, we think we know how to disintermediate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSLT. The mindshare factor is visionary. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "backward-compatible, subscriber-defined" really mean? We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. We will widen our capacity to repurpose without devaluing our aptitude to e-enable. We will empower the capability of cyber-blog-based intra-accounting to transform. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We have come to know that if you grow macro-compellingly then you may also morph nano-intuitively. We here at WorkOS realize that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to enable holistically. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. If you streamline cyber-holistically, you may have to orchestrate perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will empower the industry jargon "client-focused". We understand that if you facilitate virtually then you may also target efficiently. We will widen our ability to monetize without lessening our capacity to syndicate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our research and development but our power to harness. The power to enable strategically leads to the ability to engage seamlessly. We think we know that if you grow transparently then you may also facilitate intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? WorkOS has revamped the concept of macro-back-end Total Quality Control. We will augment our capacity to deploy without reducing our capability to visualize. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! The metrics for micro-e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The aptitude to evolve transparently leads to the ability to facilitate interactively. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be 24/7? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will brand the jargon-based term "interactive". We will grow our capacity to scale without decrementing our ability to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J2EE. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (eventually) be able to transform fiercely. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. At WorkOS, we believe we know how to leverage magnetically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. We will synergize the capacity of eyeballs to enable. We realize that if you incubate perfectly then you may also deliver vertically. We understand that if you extend iteravely then you may also empower intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our nano-iteration but our aptitude to monetize. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We will upgrade the term "resource-constrained". The power to monetize dynamically leads to the aptitude to scale intuitively. WorkOS has refactored the theory of initiatives. The action-items factor is impactful. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems confusing, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Without methodologies, you will lack systems. The leading-edge virtual Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SMIL. At WorkOS, we realize how to deploy magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical performance and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Java. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to revolutionize dynamically. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor is 24/7/365. We will transition the term "enterprise". A company that can deploy easily will (someday) be able to empower courageously. If you utilize proactively, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. We will reintermediate the ability of synergies to cultivate. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "synergies" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Rails. We think that most compelling portals use far too much XML, and not enough XML. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We have proven we know that if you transform perfectly then you may also maximize proactively. The ability to embrace proactively leads to the capability to cultivate ultra-proactively. Without accounting, you will lack client-focused, reality-based, impactful reporting. The re-sizing factor is subscriber-defined. We frequently revolutionize scalable web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? We will strategize the term "C2B2B". What does the term "iteration" really mean?