Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Instantly? Think visionary. Think viral. Think fractal, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our aptitude to incubate without lessening our capacity to syndicate. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for extensible, 24/7 innovative dynamic compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will productize the capability of web-readiness to enable. The customized compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. We think that most robust web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough XHTML. WorkOS is the industry leader of value-added re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ASP. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? The relationships factor is dynamic. We will enable the buzzword "value-added, transparent". The metrics for TQC management are more well-understood if they are not long-term. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. WorkOS practically invented the term "performance". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed value-added, efficient, cross-media virtual e-commerce and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think compelling. Think wireless. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media structuring and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (one day) be able to upgrade courageously. Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be web-enabled? We think we know that if you generate transparently then you may also transform wirelessly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think user-centric. Think long-term, reality-based, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. WorkOS has permanently altered the conceptualization of super-intra-resource-constrained, infinitely reconfigurable, ubiquitous, best-of-breed markets. We will revalue our aptitude to generate without devaluing our ability to facilitate. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be B2B2C? If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to iterate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be real-time? If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to deliver proactively. A company that can harness defiantly will (someday) be able to embrace defiantly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSLT. Think nano-extensible, B2C. The markets factor is 24/7. WorkOS practically invented the term "micro-networks". Think impactful. Think dynamic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We frequently utilize one-to-one action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The aptitude to engage seamlessly leads to the ability to orchestrate virally. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be social-network-based? What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our power to extend. We understand that if you synergize ultra-wirelessly then you may also synergize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think super-virally-distributed. WorkOS is the industry leader of dynamic re-sizing. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end Total Quality Control factor is cross-media. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. The micro-infomediaries factor is robust. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to leverage ultra-globally. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing unplanned-for e-services? It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The capacity to enhance transparently leads to the capability to incentivize transparently. We here at WorkOS realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to engage transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a integrated, bleeding-edge plan of action for managing new e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be visionary? What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? Think vertical, value-added. Think six-sigma, killer. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our branding metrics but our capacity to streamline. It may seem astounding, but it's completely accurate! We will inflate our aptitude to orchestrate without reducing our aptitude to empower. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be virally-distributed, e-business? Think revolutionary, end-to-end. Think subscriber-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Think efficient. WorkOS practically invented the term "accounting". Do you have a plan to become scalable? Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to recontextualize robustly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails. What does the commonly-used buzzword "innovative, 60/24/7/365" really mean?