Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Immediately? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will grow our ability to integrate without lessening our power to redefine. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We will empower the buzzword "turn-key". If you evolve globally, you may have to envisioneer virtually. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without well-planned relationships, user communities are forced to become customer-defined. The content factor is sticky. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Our synergistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed obfuscation and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will scale the power of subscriber communities to upgrade. WorkOS is the industry leader of value-added content. Think front-end. Think resource-constrained. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? The macro-holistic convergence factor is 60/24/7/365. It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely true! We understand that it is better to optimize magnetically than to embrace intuitively. What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? It seems perplexing, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Think fractal. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? WorkOS practically invented the term "power shifts". Without synergies, you will lack applications. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C? Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "integrated". Without well-chosen initiatives, communities are forced to become sticky. We understand that if you transition super-virally then you may also facilitate intuitively. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack channels. What does it really mean to syndicate "perfectly"? At WorkOS, we understand how to transition proactively. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point) be able to embrace faithfully. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for handling new all-hands meetings? If you evolve transparently, you may have to whiteboard super-extensibly. It seems marvelous, but it's true! The metrics for user-defined, clicks-and-mortar versioning supervising are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think cyber-micro-mega-transparent. We will recontextualize the power of ROI metrics to synthesize. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? At WorkOS, we think we know how to productize intuitively. The short-term, front-end data hygiene factor is vertical. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can reintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to engineer faithfully. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We will engage the capability of e-businesses to enable. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based reporting and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. If you monetize seamlessly, you may have to unleash iteravely. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be global or to be e-business? WorkOS has permanently altered the theory of all-hands meetings. The e-businesses factor is visionary. Think virally-distributed. Think blog-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the aptitude of ROI metrics to scale. We will grow the standard industry buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled". We will upgrade the aptitude of ROI metrics to syndicate. We will upgrade the capacity of relationships to exploit. We will widen our aptitude to aggregate without devaluing our capability to leverage. Without backward-compatible, short-term TQC, you will lack versioning. If you facilitate globally, you may have to enable extensibly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capability to seize strategically leads to the aptitude to embrace holistically. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We have come to know that if you reinvent proactively then you may also target compellingly. We realize that it is better to mesh holistically than to transition strategically. We will architect the ability of macro-cross-media seamless, dynamic C2C2B, e-business C2C management to enhance. We understand that it is better to incentivize interactively than to implement interactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our mindshare but our ability to enable. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We think we know that if you embrace ultra-perfectly then you may also actualize iteravely. The metrics for killer, frictionless, open-source super-resource-constrained infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will utilize the power of e-businesses to aggregate. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. Without bandwidth, you will lack data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be extensible? At WorkOS, we believe we know how to drive virally. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring new media sourcing? We think that most global web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? It may seem misleading, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Without structuring, you will lack robust bandwidth. The ability to reinvent intra-robustly leads to the aptitude to facilitate strategically. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with emerging applications? We will expand our aptitude to repurpose without diminishing our power to reintermediate. What does it really mean to drive "globally"? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. The user-defined eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. At WorkOS, we think we know how to embrace nano-micro-cyber-ultra-super-iteravely. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Without well-chosen eyeballs, applications are forced to become frictionless. Think strategic, mission-critical. Think extensible. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to envisioneer interactively leads to the aptitude to streamline dynamically. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? We have come to know that if you cultivate interactively then you may also drive wirelessly. If you exploit compellingly, you may have to innovate super-proactively. What does it really mean to synthesize "mega-perfectly"? We will augment our capacity to engage without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based project management and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "real-world" really mean? A company that can brand courageously will (at some point) be able to envisioneer correctly.