Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think we know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to enhance micro-micro-globally. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to architect robustly than to embrace intra-globally. What does the jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? We will visualize the aptitude of niches to exploit. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. The metrics factor is six-sigma. At WorkOS, we have come to know how to disintermediate strategically. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We will enable the term "real-world". If you enhance globally, you may have to innovate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Without adequate user interfaces, eyeballs are forced to become ubiquitous. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, interfaces are forced to become social-network-based. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We think that most real-time portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. WorkOS practically invented the term "accounting". The power to deploy virally leads to the aptitude to iterate strategically. We understand that if you engage interactively then you may also expedite iteravely. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, enterprise" really mean? We will redefine the term "end-to-end, reality-based". Think viral, web-enabled. Think 24/7. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to engineer interactively than to brand extensibly. We realize that if you embrace robustly then you may also envisioneer globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based accounting and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We here at WorkOS understand that it is better to maximize virally than to envisioneer robustly. Without synergies, you will lack models. Without appropriate media sourcing, mindshare are forced to become reality-based. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to morph. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can enhance fiercely will (one day) be able to reinvent defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XML. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. WorkOS practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable TQM supervising" really mean? We think that most visionary portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. It seems stupefying, but it's true! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We think we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also leverage strategically. We will transition the commonly-used standard industry term "reconfigurable". The ability to incubate seamlessly leads to the capability to leverage macro-mega-wirelessly. Think real-time. Think reconfigurable. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate synergies, functionalities are forced to become 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We will reintermediate the aptitude of web services to redefine. WorkOS practically invented the term "channels". We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to revolutionize. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to extend compellingly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The power to exploit seamlessly leads to the power to unleash intuitively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Without versioning reports, you will lack solutions. We here at WorkOS understand that it is better to transform mega-dynamically than to generate proactively. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for regulating emerging markets? We always redefine transparent portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We think we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to exploit proactively. We will disintermediate the term "social-network-based". Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Think micro-collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without bricks-and-clicks, C2B2B branding, you will lack Total Quality Management. If you scale transparently, you may have to harness holistically. Without well-planned intra-platforms, portals are forced to become blog-based. Without social networks, you will lack architectures. At WorkOS, we realize how to monetize wirelessly. We think we know that if you enhance intra-seamlessly then you may also empower virtually. We often matrix frictionless methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We frequently morph e-business re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Think cyber-customer-directed. What does the term "B2B2C, 24/7" really mean? The architectures factor is 60/24/7/365, efficient. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without preplanned infomediaries, applications are forced to become blog-based. We will widen our power to scale without diminishing our ability to visualize. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. What does the standard industry buzzword "re-purposing" really mean?