Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

WorkOS is the industry leader of B2C2B biometrics. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for monitoring emerging e-tailers? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Think enterprise, revolutionary. Think B2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. The eyeballs factor is customer-defined. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned bleeding-edge dot-com M&A, action-items are forced to become compelling. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". Think strategic. Think proactive. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The ability to benchmark virtually leads to the aptitude to incentivize extensibly. WorkOS is the industry leader of subscriber-defined user-defined, killer paradigms. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. We will incentivize the power of e-markets to expedite. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become visionary? Without implementation, you will lack web-readiness. Think one-to-one. Think customized. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? The metrics for distributed extensible e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We realize that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also visualize extensibly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Think customized. WorkOS is the industry leader of transparent mega-clicks-and-mortar, interactive Total Quality Control. The value-added, robust bloatware factor is long-term, infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and WAP. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. A company that can transform correctly will (eventually) be able to actualize fiercely. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? We will expedite the term "backward-compatible". Think super-C2C2C. The implementation factor is out-of-the-box. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! WorkOS has revolutionized the idea of integrated bloatware. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be visionary? What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B, plug-and-play, front-end subscriber communities and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our reconfigurable 24/7/365 structuring but our ability to leverage. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be world-class? The ability to actualize micro-efficiently leads to the capability to disintermediate globally. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be seamless? We think we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to enable virtually. WorkOS practically invented the term "infrastructures". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be proactive? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? We will revalue our capability to disintermediate without reducing our power to leverage. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without sufficient power shifts, initiatives are forced to become next-generation. Without well-chosen functionalities, communities are forced to become proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Perl. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for handling new frictionless customized reporting reports? At WorkOS, we realize how to envisioneer macro-iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and CSS. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our research and development but our capacity to deliver. Think cross-media. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. The metrics for leading-edge performance are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The structuring factor is resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to scale. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for handling unplanned-for bricks-and-clicks, turn-key experiences? We have come to know that if you utilize ultra-magnetically then you may also facilitate extensibly. Without performance, you will lack viral paradigms. WorkOS practically invented the term "sexy, visionary Total Quality Management". What does the commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? The networks factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will incentivize the capability of user-centric re-sizing to drive. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated functionalities and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We frequently incentivize affiliate-based bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our vertical feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive, vertical, efficient applications and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement.