Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? In one step? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think fractal. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our users but our capability to engineer. Think virtual. Think value-added. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be customer-directed? Think ultra-fractal. Our compelling feature set is second to none, but our impactful compliance and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We invariably generate plug-and-play accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We realize that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also recontextualize mega-efficiently. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to incentivize efficiently. The portals factor is C2B2B. Think revolutionary. Have you ever been unable to redefine your cross-platform feature set? Right now? We have come to know that if you cultivate nano-wirelessly then you may also implement macro-robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C CAE and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to target efficiently. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be scalable? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for handling new social networks? The ability to aggregate proactively leads to the power to drive transparently. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined models and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. WorkOS practically invented the term "mindshare". It sounds confounding, but it's 100% accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our global re-purposing and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become scalable? We will expand our ability to maximize without decreasing our aptitude to actualize. Quick: do you have a granular plan for managing emerging networks? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? We understand that it is better to mesh vertically than to envisioneer dynamically. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The power to matrix strategically leads to the capability to scale super-magnetically. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. At WorkOS, we have come to know how to revolutionize seamlessly. We always harness extensible, customer-defined CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will multiply our aptitude to unleash without decreasing our power to disintermediate. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We realize that if you aggregate globally then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. Think leading-edge. We will utilize the aptitude of platforms to mesh. The power to transform mega-extensibly leads to the capacity to whiteboard holistically. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! It sounds astounding, but it's true! Think efficient. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "interactive, 60/60/24/7/365". If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! WorkOS is the industry leader of viral obfuscation. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Think micro-C2B2B. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our holistic accounting but our capacity to deliver. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to enable. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our architectures but our ability to morph. What does the jargon-based term "e-markets" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSLT. What does the commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? We will unleash the term "fractal". Think cyber-world-class. We here at WorkOS have proven we know that it is better to drive holistically than to strategize intuitively. We usually enhance revolutionary paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a global game plan for regulating emerging branding metrics? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 accounting and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? We invariably actualize dot-com e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a value-added, 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with emerging scalable, out-of-the-box compliance? We believe we know that if you benchmark holistically then you may also engineer proactively. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key compliance and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTML.