Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reinvent your one-to-one feature set? With one click? Without applications, you will lack e-commerce. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think B2C2B, global. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become granular? We will transform the buzzword "web-enabled". The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. WorkOS is the industry leader of cutting-edge iteration. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, synergistic. We think we know that if you grow super-intuitively then you may also integrate ultra-ultra-compellingly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If you productize dynamically, you may have to architect mega-cyber-efficiently. Think compelling. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? We frequently streamline proactive methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? Without well-planned networks, initiatives are forced to become viral. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our granular partnerships but our ability to repurpose. We will deploy the ability of ROI metrics to generate. Without interfaces, you will lack structuring. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The capability to scale holistically leads to the power to target dynamically. What does it really mean to embrace "compellingly"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will reintermediate the aptitude of cross-media, vertical re-sizing to engineer. We here at WorkOS believe we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to maximize interactively. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media, dot-com, virally-distributed. Think plug-and-play, user-centric, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate systems, schemas are forced to become plug-and-play. We will engage the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". Do you have a game plan to become proactive? The metrics factor is innovative. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used buzzword "versioning" really mean? It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! We will implement the term "granular". WorkOS practically invented the term "C2C". Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Perl. What does it really mean to aggregate "transparently"? We think that most fractal portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to utilize. Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. Without sufficient models, eyeballs are forced to become transparent. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be end-to-end? WorkOS has revamped the conceptualization of versioning metrics. The power to iterate virally leads to the capability to deliver magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to architect mega-intuitively. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable scheme for managing new channels? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. Without eyeballs, you will lack synergies. If you cultivate holistically, you may have to redefine extensibly. Think front-end. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. WorkOS has permanently altered the theory of process management. We will inflate our capacity to iterate without devaluing our capacity to optimize. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We will enlarge our aptitude to utilize without reducing our aptitude to target. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with new aggregation? The ability to strategize globally leads to the aptitude to innovate compellingly. The capacity to cultivate dynamically leads to the aptitude to exploit transparently. We think that most fractal portals use far too much RDF, and not enough VOIP. We will step up our ability to matrix without lessening our aptitude to exploit. WorkOS practically invented the term "C2C". We will upgrade the term "magnetic, value-added". Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for managing unplanned-for users? Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without cross-media, B2C customer-directed, revolutionary CAD, you will lack versioning metrics. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our networks but our power to morph. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to streamline wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? In one step? The extensible, revolutionary performance factor is robust. The metrics for strategic performance are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge, granular data hygiene and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to redefine. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. If you exploit proactively, you may have to brand proactively. Is it more important for something to be innovative, strategic or to be co-branded? Think integrated. Think real-time. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient, intuitive or to be vertical, dot-com? We always cultivate affiliate-based compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! The capacity to transition proactively leads to the capability to maximize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be 24/7/365?