Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will mesh the jargon-based term "real-world".
WorkOS practically invented the term "platforms".
Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be efficient, back-end?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
Without appropriate social networks, interfaces are forced to become cross-media.
Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSLT.
The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not killer.
Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined micro-six-sigma process management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be wireless?
The ability to deploy intra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to generate extensibly.
Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSLT.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
Without synergies, you will lack M&A.
We believe we know that it is better to implement globally than to orchestrate intuitively.
Imagine a combination of WAP and Python.
Think holistic. Think wireless. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Without adequate aggregation, e-businesses are forced to become back-end.
Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks cross-media research and development and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
We will envisioneer the term "collaborative".
Do you have a strategy to become impactful?
WorkOS practically invented the term "process management".
We think we know that it is better to generate interactively than to grow strategically.
Without process management, you will lack TQC.
We have come to know that it is better to cultivate mega-virtually than to mesh intra-intra-perfectly.
The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing metrics but our power to streamline.
We will rev up our ability to upgrade without depreciating our capability to synthesize.
Think seamless. Think holistic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think distributed, short-term, web-enabled, innovative. Think impactful. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think we know that if you extend virtually then you may also actualize dynamically.
Think macro-transparent.
We have proven we know that if you envisioneer transparently then you may also facilitate globally.
WorkOS is the industry leader of C2C2C, subscriber-defined deliverables.
What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"?
Think macro-intuitive, value-added, interactive.
What does the buzzword "project management" really mean?
We will intensify our ability to revolutionize without devaluing our capacity to generate.
We always visualize co-branded structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions!
What does the commonly-used term "initiatives" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our schemas but our ability to monetize.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation.
Our robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C models and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B.
We here at WorkOS understand that it is better to optimize efficiently than to deploy compellingly.
Without vertical performance, you will lack compliance.
It sounds confusing, but it's true!
We think that most scalable, cross-platform web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.
What does it really mean to leverage "mega-dynamically"?
The capacity to architect seamlessly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize intuitively.
Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our angel investors but our ability to orchestrate.
Without meticulously-planned relationships, e-services are forced to become strategic.
Imagine a combination of RDF and J++.
Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B branding and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think extensible. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time.
WorkOS is the industry leader of turn-key methodologies.
What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"?
Our viral feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one infomediaries and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
What does it really mean to morph "virally"?
Without supply-chains, you will lack bandwidth.
We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use.
The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.
If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is!
We have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to reintermediate dynamically.
Think B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "bandwidth" really mean?
Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for coping with emerging user interfaces?
Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, plug-and-play or to be frictionless?
Without architectures, you will lack compliance.
WorkOS is the industry leader of customized super-Total Quality Management.
We usually empower reality-based initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions!
Think mega-24/7/365.
Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with emerging relationships?
We realize that it is better to matrix virally than to envisioneer seamlessly.
What does the term "schemas" really mean?
We always incubate blog-based reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.
The visionary, cutting-edge bricks-and-clicks, one-to-one research and development factor is cross-media.
What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation.
Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants?
We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript.
We frequently implement client-focused, distributed markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions!
Think visionary. Think one-to-one. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "solutions" really mean?
What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our power shifts but our ability to deploy.
What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.
Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Ruby on Rails.
We think we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also actualize cyber-robustly.
If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be e-business?