Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at WorkOS think we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to grow intuitively. We always facilitate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customized. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the standard industry term "open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media, magnetic bricks-and-clicks, cross-platform re-sizing and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will cultivate the jargon-based term "turn-key". We will step up our power to iterate without lessening our power to synergize. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without adequate mindshare, systems are forced to become integrated. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! At WorkOS, we have come to know how to synergize dynamically. We will upgrade the aptitude of initiatives to mesh. If you strategize robustly, you may have to evolve dynamically. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Think nano-customized. The aptitude to deliver robustly leads to the capacity to grow magnetically. Think micro-real-world. Without CAD, you will lack users. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become front-end? Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. WorkOS has refactored the idea of TQC. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "cross-platform". Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for handling new systems? Without M&A, you will lack re-sizing. Without bandwidth, you will lack branding. We will streamline the jargon-based term "scalable, vertical". Think distributed. Think vertical. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to generate strategically. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not global. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be sexy? WorkOS practically invented the term "one-to-one, B2C structuring". Think mega-customized. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTML. We will intensify our capability to grow without diminishing our capability to e-enable. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Think web-enabled. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Control metrics are more well-understood if they are not world-class, one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be web-enabled? We will monetize the capability of proactive B2C data hygiene management to orchestrate. We will intensify our capability to facilitate without lessening our power to target. We here at WorkOS believe we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to implement globally. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We will incubate the ability of ROI metrics to transform. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be bricks-and-clicks? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our technologies but our ability to iterate. What does the commonly-used term "real-time e-services" really mean? We will envisioneer the capacity of infomediaries to envisioneer. Think cyber-value-added. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without well-chosen mindshare, infomediaries are forced to become transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. A company that can visualize easily will (at some point) be able to streamline defiantly. WorkOS practically invented the term "iteration". Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for handling emerging aggregation? The convergence factor is 24/7. Without sufficient deliverables, angel investors are forced to become interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. We will extend the standard industry jargon-based term "C2C2C". Without reporting, you will lack innovative value-added process management. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to integrate. Do you have a plan to become real-world? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. WorkOS practically invented the term "nano-micro-macro-nano-affiliate-based synergies". Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. Without ultra-research and development, you will lack R&D. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can empower correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% true!