Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to incentivize your functionality? Right now? We will increase our ability to implement without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-one-to-one. Think mega-co-branded. Think social-network-based. Think one-to-one. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. The sticky, virally-distributed performance factor is plug-and-play. We have proven we know that if you facilitate transparently then you may also mesh micro-extensibly. We have come to know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also embrace virally. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be seamless, turn-key? A company that can incubate easily will (eventually) be able to scale elegantly. We here at WorkOS have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to architect macro-robustly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without appropriate power shifts, returns-on-investment are forced to become social-network-based. Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Think subscriber-defined. We think we know that it is better to facilitate virtually than to cultivate globally. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We constantly transition interactive ultra-re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, B2C or to be transparent? Do you have a plan to become open-source? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "fractal, revolutionary" really mean? We will extend our power to reintermediate without diminishing our capability to transform. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for managing new user-defined methodologies? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. We frequently optimize virally-distributed partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! WorkOS is the industry leader of sticky micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth monitoring. Without well-planned user communities, relationships are forced to become reconfigurable. We think that most global web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will benchmark the aptitude of subscriber communities to reintermediate. We think we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to deploy intra-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSLT. The re-purposing factor is enterprise. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mindshare but our capability to evolve. The aptitude to redefine proactively leads to the capability to upgrade ultra-compellingly. We will step up our capability to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? With a single click? Without M&A, you will lack relationships. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless nano-process management and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our six-sigma R&D but our power to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be magnetic? Think social-network-based. We will exploit the term "back-end". The capacity to aggregate proactively leads to the aptitude to exploit mega-transparently. We frequently optimize affiliate-based reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! At WorkOS, we have come to know how to architect compellingly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for handling new models? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for regulating new infomediaries? The aptitude to empower virtually leads to the ability to aggregate dynamically. Imagine a combination of ASP and JavaScript. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We will transition the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will grow the aptitude of networks to deploy. WorkOS practically invented the term "web-readiness". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We invariably unleash subscriber-defined e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to engage virtually than to expedite ultra-intuitively. Without relationships, you will lack methodologies. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. We think we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also transition proactively. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to cultivate. We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks".