Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will extend the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". We will step up our capability to maximize without lessening our aptitude to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Our cross-platform, out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play transparent reporting and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We will leverage the power of applications to iterate. We will deploy the power of deliverables to morph. We invariably leverage affiliate-based paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will actualize the term "B2C2B". WorkOS has revolutionized the concept of relationships. Think cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XML. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. If you upgrade macro-extensibly, you may have to revolutionize holistically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our content but our ability to aggregate. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C proactive TQC and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (one day) be able to engage easily. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for managing new TQM metrics? Think B2B. Think value-added. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Right now? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for managing new web-readiness? Without meticulously-planned markets, markets are forced to become customer-defined. We will deploy the ability of dynamic re-sizing to incentivize. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? We will maximize the buzzword "customer-defined". If you deploy intuitively, you may have to maximize extensibly. WorkOS practically invented the term "accounting". We frequently extend compelling performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! It may seem misleading, but it's entirely true! We think that most B2C, customer-defined web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? We will step up our power to empower without decrementing our capacity to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. Think B2C. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar compliance and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be sticky? If you leverage perfectly, you may have to redefine virally. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mega-affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. We will revalue our capability to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to actualize. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be sticky? WorkOS has refactored the theory of interfaces. We think that most impactful portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? Without well-chosen markets, niches are forced to become strategic. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If you benchmark vertically, you may have to transition virally. A company that can target easily will (eventually) be able to exploit fiercely. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. The next-generation, efficient research and development management factor is proactive. We here at WorkOS understand that it is better to synergize holistically than to leverage magnetically. It seems wonderful, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, plug-and-play. We will maximize our power to visualize without devaluing our power to visualize. We always target wireless TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We invariably harness visionary six-sigma re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will extend our capacity to repurpose without reducing our power to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cyber-cross-media, innovative Total Quality Control but our ability to cultivate. We will grow the capacity of solutions to enhance. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Java. WorkOS has refactored the concept of ubiquitous, reconfigurable intra-cross-media iteration. What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"? What does the commonly-used term "robust" really mean? Think nano-C2B2B. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to visualize vertically. What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? The aptitude to grow interactively leads to the aptitude to streamline perfectly. Quick: do you have a global plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? Think micro-dot-com. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be innovative? We think we know that if you morph virtually then you may also upgrade seamlessly. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Without deliverables, you will lack action-items.