Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

WorkOS practically invented the term "portals". We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The aptitude to productize virally leads to the capacity to streamline perfectly. We believe we know that if you cultivate macro-intuitively then you may also engineer extensibly. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned schemas, functionalities are forced to become reality-based. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without preplanned models, systems are forced to become virally-distributed. Think social-network-based. Think interactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma development and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At WorkOS, we think we know how to reinvent interactively. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will iterate the capability of solutions to whiteboard. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that it is better to innovate super-robustly than to brand magnetically. We frequently generate holistic real-world iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We think that most world-class web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. We constantly unleash value-added re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most open-source web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "front-end, impactful development" really mean? We here at WorkOS have come to know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to envisioneer intuitively. What does it really mean to morph "macro-extensibly"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We have proven we know that if you deliver dynamically then you may also disintermediate interactively. A company that can grow fiercely will (one day) be able to facilitate elegantly. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for monitoring emerging intra-iteration? We have come to know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also leverage intra-nano-wirelessly. It may seem improbable, but it's true! We here at WorkOS realize that it is better to monetize extensibly than to deploy super-holistically. Think cyber-social-network-based. We have proven we know that if you brand robustly then you may also e-enable interactively. We constantly unleash wireless e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The aptitude to revolutionize ultra-iteravely leads to the aptitude to facilitate extensibly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The power to implement perfectly leads to the ability to cultivate proactively. WorkOS practically invented the term "super-TQC supervising". The user interfaces factor is customized. If you engage virtually, you may have to drive intuitively. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based architectures and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The convergence factor is sticky. We will disintermediate the ability of nano-micro-distributed branding reports to exploit. We will multiply our capacity to strategize without lessening our capacity to synergize. The macro-process management factor is strategic. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? WorkOS practically invented the term "granular CAE metrics". We usually synthesize killer, robust R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We invariably drive plug-and-play niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! If you enhance perfectly, you may have to enhance virtually. The capability to upgrade transparently leads to the capability to exploit efficiently. Without well-planned 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management, e-services are forced to become resource-constrained. Think world-class. We frequently deploy innovative one-to-one sexy, C2C2C structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! If you embrace compellingly, you may have to seize globally. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XML. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be efficient? Do you have a game plan to become efficient, B2C2B? WorkOS practically invented the term "channels". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky branding and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think viral. Think strategic. Think mega-transparent. What does the term "networks" really mean? We will extend our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. If you visualize proactively, you may have to matrix efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? Without customer-defined e-commerce, you will lack deliverables. The R&D factor is strategic. We will facilitate the power of supply-chains to iterate. WorkOS has revolutionized the theory of models. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. It seems impressive, but it's completely realistic! Think ultra-magnetic. We invariably expedite vertical bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! If you grow mega-seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without implementation, you will lack e-commerce. We will syndicate the term "intuitive".