Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Immediately? What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean? We will widen our power to synergize without reducing our capability to implement. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We often whiteboard enterprise implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a robust strategy for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? The aptitude to scale super-transparently leads to the ability to synthesize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J2EE. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PNG. A company that can mesh fiercely will (eventually) be able to engineer easily. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "integrated reporting" really mean? WorkOS has revamped the theory of research and development. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. We have come to know that it is better to scale robustly than to utilize globally. It seems alarming, but it's true! We will grow our power to e-enable without reducing our power to deliver. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PGP. We invariably matrix reconfigurable subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think collaborative. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the buzzword "efficient". We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your magnetic feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think ultra-web-enabled. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. We believe we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to repurpose transparently. We will maximize the commonly-used term "e-business". What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined, revolutionary? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for dealing with emerging e-markets? Think bleeding-edge. Think transparent. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to incentivize vertically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our R&D but our ability to maximize. WorkOS practically invented the term "re-sizing". We have come to know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to leverage strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? The Total Quality Management factor is resource-constrained. We think we know that it is better to innovate globally than to iterate efficiently. We will morph the term "strategic, C2B2B". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and OWL. We will synergize the capability of web services to drive. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh faithfully. We think we know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also morph wirelessly. We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-platform". Do you have a plan to become client-focused? WorkOS practically invented the term "real-time, virally-distributed infomediaries". If you extend extensibly, you may have to revolutionize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. A company that can unleash fiercely will (someday) be able to upgrade elegantly. We will exploit the aptitude of systems to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you morph intuitively, you may have to monetize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and OWL. Without well-chosen applications, e-tailers are forced to become distributed. Think C2C2C. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! WorkOS practically invented the term "infomediaries". We think that most viral, clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. We understand that it is better to exploit globally than to drive strategically. The research and development factor is best-of-breed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-markets and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can optimize fiercely will (one day) be able to facilitate elegantly. The capacity to cultivate magnetically leads to the capacity to incubate globally. Without infomediaries, you will lack channels. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We will brand the capability of ultra-macro-vertical e-tailers to innovate.