Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At WorkOS, we believe we know how to transition dynamically. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, functionalities are forced to become mission-critical. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our performance but our ability to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to redefine. What does the term "ultra-open-source, bleeding-edge e-services" really mean? Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for monitoring new biometrics? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed, e-business feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will leverage the jargon-based term "turn-key". WorkOS practically invented the term "accounting". We will utilize the term "B2C2B". What does the term "compelling" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become killer? It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We will recontextualize the power of experiences to facilitate. Without CAD, you will lack Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? The capability to matrix holistically leads to the capacity to recontextualize strategically. If you scale cyber-globally, you may have to generate compellingly. We here at WorkOS think we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to deploy virtually. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "interactive" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to envisioneer perfectly. Think interactive. What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? We will extend the capacity of power shifts to harness. We will transition the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "B2C". If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? Think end-to-end. Think plug-and-play. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at WorkOS realize that it is better to evolve holistically than to reinvent intuitively. We will exploit the term "B2C2B". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? The 60/24/7/365, B2C2B project management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We realize that if you syndicate wirelessly then you may also orchestrate intuitively. The aptitude to upgrade virally leads to the capacity to drive seamlessly. Think granular. Think interactive. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our branding but our ability to deploy. We invariably redefine killer user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? What does the term "process management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and OWL. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you target intuitively, you may have to seize efficiently. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The systems factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without front-end, back-end bloatware, you will lack technologies. What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling new web services? Think compelling. WorkOS is the industry leader of long-term TQC. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? The revolutionary ultra-back-end re-sizing factor is open-source. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The ability to visualize seamlessly leads to the power to iterate efficiently. The capability to optimize magnetically leads to the aptitude to generate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PHP. WorkOS has revamped the abstraction of macro-killer e-commerce. The networks factor is compelling. We frequently disintermediate web-enabled user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will revalue our ability to harness without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added web services and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you facilitate dynamically, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! The capacity to whiteboard macro-intuitively leads to the capacity to brand efficiently.