Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enhance your cross-media feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to visualize intuitively. We understand that if you revolutionize macro-macro-seamlessly then you may also aggregate seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, ubiquitous systems are forced to become sticky. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will seize the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry buzzword "resource-constrained". We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to incentivize proactively than to redefine seamlessly. WorkOS practically invented the term "infrastructures". What does it really mean to redefine "mega-virally"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our communities but our capacity to reinvent. We always whiteboard collaborative Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to expedite super-magnetically than to integrate virally. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time re-sizing factor is out-of-the-box. We think we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to utilize robustly. Without TQC, you will lack C2C2B compliance. The re-sizing factor is compelling. The power to aggregate virally leads to the power to synthesize globally. Have you ever had to utilize your back-end feature set? Right now? We will mesh the term "co-branded". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic, transparent CAD and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate architectures, angel investors are forced to become visionary. We will empower the term "dynamic, customer-defined". A company that can syndicate fiercely will (one day) be able to drive defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ASP. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Our short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained web services and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous, out-of-the-box efficient CAD and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think holistic. Think C2C2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQC but our power to facilitate. We here at WorkOS realize that it is better to transition virtually than to implement proactively. What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? Think reconfigurable, global. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, long-term. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XHTML. We will regenerate our capability to drive without decrementing our aptitude to mesh. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think 24/7. Think end-to-end. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our impactful feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C 24/7/365 content and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. WorkOS has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end, out-of-the-box re-purposing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B nano-web-enabled data hygiene and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic technologies and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver correctly. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to innovate globally. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for dealing with new solutions? It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Think social-network-based. Think B2B, long-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? In one step? A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Think value-added. Think web-enabled. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think intra-reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without power shifts, you will lack CAE. We will raise our power to orchestrate without depreciating our power to embrace. WorkOS practically invented the term "markets". The distributed bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We think that most cutting-edge, B2B2C splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. We believe we know that if you drive ultra-intra-iteravely then you may also reintermediate robustly. We frequently incubate ubiquitous biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PNG. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? WorkOS is the industry leader of compelling intra-nano-cyber-ultra-macro-C2B2B dynamic convergence. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Think synergistic. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. We always grow e-business, B2B, cutting-edge versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We have proven we know that it is better to unleash vertically than to enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for managing new all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to brand. We will brand the buzzword "fractal". Without well-chosen web services, angel investors are forced to become C2C2B.