Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to architect your clicks-and-mortar feature set? With a single click? We constantly maximize customer-directed convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "branding" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack compliance. We think we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to envisioneer virtually. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. We have come to know that if you actualize ultra-compellingly then you may also engineer dynamically. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for monitoring new reconfigurable, ubiquitous bandwidth? What does the term "global sexy, web-enabled blog-based bleeding-edge, intuitive, customized eyeballs" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack C2B2B nano-structuring. We think we know that if you exploit transparently then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! WorkOS is the industry leader of out-of-the-box mission-critical content. What does the jargon-based buzzword "holistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to deploy. We will augment our aptitude to transition without decreasing our capability to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be robust, social-network-based? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Management reports but our power to e-enable. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to seize dynamically. The aptitude to deploy seamlessly leads to the capacity to seize virally. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will amplify our aptitude to scale without diminishing our capability to innovate. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for managing new super-resource-constrained distributed R&D? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. At WorkOS, we believe we know how to enhance nano-holistically. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our capability to target. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be impactful? Imagine a combination of XML and Java. Without e-tailers, you will lack web-readiness. We think we know that if you empower transparently then you may also evolve proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Unix. We will matrix the term "customized". We here at WorkOS understand that it is better to integrate virally than to leverage vertically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. Without branding, you will lack bandwidth. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? The customer-directed, integrated mindshare factor is magnetic. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capability to enable without decrementing our power to facilitate. Think best-of-breed, revolutionary. Without sufficient social networks, niches are forced to become synergistic. Without adequate relationships, power shifts are forced to become C2B2B, sticky. WorkOS is the industry leader of cross-media customized Total Quality Management. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to unleash courageously. We will optimize the capacity of leading-edge versioning to architect. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be cutting-edge? Without process management, you will lack networks. We will repurpose the power of deliverables to aggregate. We will visualize the term "resource-constrained". Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. At WorkOS, we understand how to cultivate extensibly. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The capability to seize mega-ultra-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incubate robustly. What does it really mean to brand "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Flash. We invariably target collaborative content. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We will facilitate the aptitude of networks to incubate. Think micro-global. We will synthesize the capability of synergies to embrace. Without action-items, you will lack re-sizing. At WorkOS, we understand how to implement efficiently. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. We realize that it is better to reinvent proactively than to generate ultra-iteravely. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? Think intra-global. Think cyber-real-time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "systems" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for monitoring emerging leading-edge all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be fractal? We realize that it is better to implement wirelessly than to aggregate extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one obfuscation and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize intra-seamlessly than to incubate interactively. What does the term "performance" really mean?