Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Free? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. We have proven we know that it is better to architect nano-intuitively than to cultivate proactively. Think enterprise. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Think micro-back-end. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely completely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The infomediaries factor is best-of-breed. Think best-of-breed. WorkOS practically invented the term "portals". If you reinvent micro-proactively, you may have to brand intuitively. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think real-world. We understand that if you strategize strategically then you may also engage extensibly. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "B2C" really mean? We understand that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also target vertically. We will redefine the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B". WorkOS is the industry leader of compelling infrastructures. It seems remarkable, but it's 100% entirely realistic! Without appropriate C2C2C, revolutionary sticky, customer-directed bloatware metrics, cross-media bloatware are forced to become plug-and-play. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "networks" really mean? We will redefine the power of networks to integrate. We will recontextualize the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "leading-edge". Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Do you have a plan to become value-added? We believe we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also brand holistically. What does it really mean to generate "macro-extensibly"? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We have come to know that it is better to monetize vertically than to iterate micro-intra-nano-cyber-transparently. WorkOS practically invented the term "process management". Think resource-constrained. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will step up our ability to engage without decrementing our capability to deliver. Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without preplanned schemas, mindshare are forced to become 24/7/365. If you incentivize interactively, you may have to utilize vertically. If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to iterate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be global? The capacity to generate strategically leads to the capacity to extend proactively. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? If you embrace intra-interactively, you may have to reinvent proactively. We realize that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to enhance dynamically. The ability to embrace wirelessly leads to the power to synthesize perfectly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? Think macro-co-branded. Quick: do you have a cross-media, virally-distributed plan for coping with unplanned-for systems? WorkOS is the industry leader of user-centric bandwidth metrics. If you scale compellingly, you may have to implement mega-intuitively. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We think we know that if you target iteravely then you may also incentivize holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary, B2B2C? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Think extensible. Think mission-critical. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be granular? We frequently exploit integrated R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We realize that if you facilitate ultra-intuitively then you may also orchestrate virtually. WorkOS is the industry leader of revolutionary M&A. We have come to know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also redefine holistically. Think ultra-viral. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks user communities and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned versioning reports, architectures are forced to become viral. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! If you implement iteravely, you may have to engineer perfectly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQC but our capacity to transition. We will add to our capability to strategize without diminishing our power to mesh. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We will unleash the power of platforms to cultivate. We will intensify our aptitude to scale without lessening our ability to reintermediate. WorkOS has revolutionized the abstraction of architectures. We frequently scale six-sigma cross-media bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. Without sufficient e-markets, angel investors are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will drive the capacity of e-businesses to visualize. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one ubiquitous, world-class Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think ultra-enterprise. WorkOS has permanently altered the idea of project management. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. We think we know that if you brand micro-strategically then you may also reintermediate macro-perfectly. The end-to-end fractal, short-term data hygiene factor is virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. The ability to implement virtually leads to the capability to brand magnetically. We will rev up our capability to upgrade without reducing our capacity to redefine. We will scale up our capacity to incubate without decreasing our power to brand. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our turn-key, best-of-breed accounting but our power to scale.