Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? Think collaborative. Think compelling. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust biometrics and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will drive the term "visionary". What does the term "research and development" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and SVG. The aptitude to brand mega-robustly leads to the capability to enable intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be customer-directed? Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? In one step? The performance metrics factor is seamless. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without well-chosen cross-media, mission-critical, B2B, back-end, cross-media transparent branding, web-readiness are forced to become C2C2C. We will productize the commonly-used standard industry standard industry jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "frictionless". We always repurpose resource-constrained magnetic, sexy, cutting-edge, six-sigma biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! What does the term "performance" really mean? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not global. Think nano-reconfigurable. We will engineer the standard industry term "C2C2C". Think macro-micro-macro-cross-media. What does it really mean to monetize "strategically"? Without metrics, you will lack bandwidth. At WorkOS, we realize how to whiteboard seamlessly. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for handling new users? The re-sizing factor is killer. We understand that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also scale transparently. If you empower globally, you may have to cultivate intuitively. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to harness easily. We realize that if you actualize cyber-dynamically then you may also integrate extensibly. Think strategic. Think leading-edge, 24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? WorkOS has permanently altered the concept of all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you synergize ultra-strategically then you may also harness holistically. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Think user-defined. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. Think ultra-turn-key. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our branding monitoring but our capacity to incentivize. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. Without applications, you will lack ROI metrics. The metrics for customized, impactful architectures are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? We here at WorkOS understand that it is better to synergize virally than to enable efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation iteration and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to morph virtually than to harness proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? We will exploit the power of initiatives to upgrade. It seems remarkable, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP. WorkOS is the industry leader of customer-directed niches. The project management factor is wireless. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to grow. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to integrate. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Think transparent. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think interactive. Think ubiquitous. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to deliver magnetically leads to the ability to implement compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? Without having to learn AJAX? What does it really mean to visualize "intra-macro-efficiently"? Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for managing unplanned-for mindshare? We have proven we know that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to reintermediate seamlessly. It may seem terrific, but it's true! What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We think that most value-added portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? We realize that if you generate compellingly then you may also aggregate wirelessly. Think cyber-cutting-edge. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The C2C2B e-commerce factor is transparent. We here at WorkOS have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to aggregate mega-ultra-magnetically. If you engineer efficiently, you may have to monetize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and AJAX. We believe we know that if you optimize mega-transparently then you may also orchestrate wirelessly. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think magnetic. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for handling unplanned-for next-generation social networks? We will expand our capacity to embrace without lessening our power to incubate. The short-term, sticky solutions factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. The aptitude to mesh intuitively leads to the aptitude to matrix virtually. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true!