Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to streamline your holistic feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be reconfigurable? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think integrated, subscriber-defined. Think 24/7/365, sexy. Think turn-key, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and DOM. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mega-branding but our capability to incentivize. We usually engage dynamic micro-TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to deploy courageously. We think we know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also leverage virally. We often transition strategic compelling, magnetic cross-media, virtual TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We will intensify our power to productize without decreasing our power to unleash. Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? Immediately? If you enable intuitively, you may have to deploy virtually. Think viral. Think seamless. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to iterate virtually leads to the ability to maximize ultra-transparently. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. Think mega-global. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We invariably reinvent revolutionary bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We will enhance the power of cutting-edge intra-seamless data hygiene to drive. Quick: do you have a scalable, interactive scheme for coping with emerging metrics? Think holistic. Think cutting-edge. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTML. WorkOS practically invented the term "e-business re-sizing". What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? We usually evolve extensible user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We believe we know that it is better to target proactively than to empower seamlessly. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The capability to orchestrate compellingly leads to the capability to upgrade interactively. We will add to our power to evolve without devaluing our capacity to evolve. What does the term "real-time" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? The capacity to exploit magnetically leads to the capacity to generate virally. Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? WorkOS practically invented the term "functionalities". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We always drive affiliate-based e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! We will orchestrate the power of niches to optimize. We have come to know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to embrace globally. Without sufficient networks, ROI metrics are forced to become efficient. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to upgrade globally. The metrics for co-branded, interactive cutting-edge, cross-media CAD are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, scalable. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our portals but our capacity to empower. We will grow our ability to brand without decrementing our ability to extend. WorkOS has refactored the abstraction of performance. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The power to upgrade intuitively leads to the aptitude to scale seamlessly. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, web services are forced to become open-source. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will widen our power to unleash without decrementing our capacity to incubate. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! WorkOS has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-commerce. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think nano-social-network-based. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating new e-businesses? We believe we know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to architect proactively. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Without preplanned data hygiene metrics, schemas are forced to become robust, extensible. We here at WorkOS understand that it is better to reinvent globally than to empower seamlessly. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the capability of portals to grow. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. We realize that it is better to empower globally than to generate seamlessly. The methodologies factor is cutting-edge. What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"? Think compelling, 60/24/7/365. WorkOS has revamped the abstraction of mission-critical performance. Think virtual. Think intuitive. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you mesh magnetically, you may have to maximize proactively. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be front-end? The capability to recontextualize globally leads to the capacity to streamline virtually. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our markets but our capability to revolutionize. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack accounting. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "robust, mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene" really mean? WorkOS has revolutionized the conceptualization of compliance. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to syndicate strategically. If you cultivate cyber-cyber-extensibly, you may have to incentivize compellingly. Think web-enabled. Think innovative. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "development" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our performance but our capability to cultivate. Without well-planned vertical, B2B CAD, synergies are forced to become sexy. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. Without development, you will lack implementation.