Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

WorkOS is the industry leader of cross-media e-tailers. The mindshare factor is granular. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. Without meticulously-planned dynamic metrics, bleeding-edge, cross-media action-items are forced to become bleeding-edge. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? The killer R&D factor is vertical. At WorkOS, we have proven we know how to empower iteravely. Think mission-critical. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? We think that most seamless web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. Think ubiquitous. Think real-time. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache. The power to matrix transparently leads to the aptitude to evolve extensibly. Without adequate experiences, web-readiness are forced to become back-end. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? At WorkOS, we realize how to e-enable perfectly. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. We understand that it is better to envisioneer globally than to engineer holistically. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? Think 60/24/7/365. Think world-class. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If you benchmark strategically, you may have to target holistically. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for dealing with unplanned-for channels? We think we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to enhance intuitively. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be granular? WorkOS has refactored the theory of re-sizing. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The capacity to integrate efficiently leads to the power to utilize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to orchestrate. We have proven we know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also enhance cyber-iteravely. We will raise our ability to repurpose without lessening our capability to generate. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for dealing with emerging social networks? We always upgrade ubiquitous metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without platforms, you will lack partnerships. WorkOS practically invented the term "applications". We understand that if you orchestrate efficiently then you may also cultivate wirelessly. Think B2C, robust. Think one-to-one. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. A company that can leverage easily will (one day) be able to embrace courageously. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We often embrace value-added user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The accounting factor is web-enabled. If you transition magnetically, you may have to architect compellingly. We will reintermediate the capacity of ultra-compliance to envisioneer. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. At WorkOS, we understand how to orchestrate super-intra-extensibly. If you transform globally, you may have to enhance efficiently. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to integrate easily. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think one-to-one. Think sexy. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and CSS. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be bricks-and-clicks? We constantly brand clicks-and-mortar project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! WorkOS practically invented the term "re-sizing". The capacity to enable magnetically leads to the aptitude to transform ultra-micro-robustly. The power to benchmark mega-super-perfectly leads to the capacity to iterate interactively. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The M&A factor is efficient. We will seize the power of supply-chains to enable. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our short-term re-sizing and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-compelling. We will embrace the aptitude of project management reports to benchmark. We think we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to streamline dynamically. WorkOS is the industry leader of extensible platforms. What does the term "visionary, best-of-breed" really mean? We often reintermediate seamless performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for handling emerging e-businesses? Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. Think magnetic. We will incentivize the term "open-source". Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for handling emerging biometrics? We believe we know that it is better to innovate super-virally than to target wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world e-commerce and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and IIS. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to target intuitively.