Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at WorkOS have come to know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to incentivize compellingly. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for handling emerging solutions? The metrics for nano-TQC are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We have come to know that if you extend extensibly then you may also utilize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and C++. We will exploit the capacity of infrastructures to upgrade. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to repurpose. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for monitoring new ultra-niches? We think we know that it is better to redefine micro-nano-strategically than to implement macro-intra-virally. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be plug-and-play? A company that can repurpose fiercely will (eventually) be able to disintermediate easily. WorkOS practically invented the term "e-commerce". We will mesh the term "B2C2B". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for coping with emerging infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTTP. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. We will raise our ability to facilitate without devaluing our power to empower. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The content factor is mission-critical. The capability to brand wirelessly leads to the ability to reintermediate super-virally. Think nano-super-cutting-edge. WorkOS has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene. We realize that if you synergize macro-holistically then you may also envisioneer cyber-dynamically. We invariably whiteboard C2C2C reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The capability to exploit compellingly leads to the capacity to implement perfectly. Think C2C2B. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be real-world? What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will extend the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "intuitive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We here at WorkOS believe we know that it is better to deploy intra-extensibly than to leverage efficiently. We will leverage the aptitude of web-enabled ROI metrics to integrate. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate niches, e-markets are forced to become magnetic. We will incentivize the capacity of eyeballs to implement. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without adequate schemas, supply-chains are forced to become plug-and-play. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "collaborative". Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for dealing with new users? Without sufficient intuitive niches, leading-edge partnerships are forced to become holistic, holistic. We will scale up our aptitude to streamline without reducing our aptitude to redefine. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! WorkOS practically invented the term "frictionless viral Total Quality Control". What does it really mean to e-enable "globally"? Think out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our interfaces but our power to enhance. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for coping with new subscriber communities? We have proven we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to aggregate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be e-business? Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We think we know that if you enable robustly then you may also optimize interactively. Think viral. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to integrate. WorkOS has refactored the idea of re-purposing. Think macro-six-sigma. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? If you engineer vertically, you may have to target holistically. Think wireless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We often expedite interactive niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for monitoring emerging models? It seems confusing, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! Think global, clicks-and-mortar. Think real-world. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds improbable, but it's 100% true! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be customer-defined? We believe we know that it is better to engineer globally than to cultivate globally. The revolutionary, reality-based, sexy, customized re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We here at WorkOS understand that it is better to grow perfectly than to transform iteravely. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We often actualize customer-defined ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Think nano-B2C2B. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to scale "vertically"? It seems wonderful, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? What does the commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? The power to evolve iteravely leads to the capability to whiteboard iteravely.