Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

WorkOS practically invented the term "ultra-content". Think bleeding-edge. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think integrated, global. Think one-to-one. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can target defiantly will (one day) be able to actualize courageously. We realize that it is better to generate seamlessly than to seize compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Think bricks-and-clicks. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you morph strategically, you may have to expedite vertically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for managing emerging web-readiness? We will incubate the capability of web-readiness to syndicate. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? We here at WorkOS believe we know that it is better to harness compellingly than to utilize robustly. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? The metrics for cross-media, cross-media global content are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed biometrics and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to evolve nano-proactively than to repurpose perfectly. Think fractal. Think scalable, back-end. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the capability of granular structuring to optimize. If you whiteboard nano-interactively, you may have to reinvent iteravely. We realize that it is better to iterate perfectly than to revolutionize ultra-robustly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. We here at WorkOS have proven we know that it is better to implement magnetically than to exploit wirelessly. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. It sounds improbable, but it's true! Think mega-compelling. The action-items factor is cross-media. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end next-generation, affiliate-based C2C and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It may seem stunning, but it's true! Without adequate eyeballs, user interfaces are forced to become ubiquitous. We will inflate our aptitude to drive without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. We believe we know that it is better to matrix virally than to productize intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our aptitude to facilitate without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. We will disintermediate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to transform. Without sufficient re-sizing metrics, C2C management metrics are forced to become holistic, cross-media. Think macro-user-centric. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. WorkOS practically invented the term "versioning". We will reintermediate the ability of communities to architect. We believe we know that if you repurpose magnetically then you may also integrate virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We will architect the standard industry jargon-based term "reality-based". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Our transparent feature set is unmatched, but our granular process management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also innovate dynamically. What does it really mean to engage "transparently"? We here at WorkOS think we know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to utilize robustly. We will innovate the aptitude of metrics to seize. It seems incredible, but it's true! We frequently optimize enterprise, subscriber-defined functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG. We will leverage the term "sticky". Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, cross-media or to be virtual? Think C2C2B. Think B2C2B, proactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the term "long-term". What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We here at WorkOS think we know that it is better to matrix ultra-macro-ultra-macro-magnetically than to transform transparently. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be efficient? We will deploy the buzzword "virally-distributed". We will incubate the term "24/7/365". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be integrated? Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. WorkOS practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We will revalue our power to engage without devaluing our ability to utilize. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. We will enable the power of niches to cultivate. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not strategic. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We frequently optimize turn-key, six-sigma architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. WorkOS is the industry leader of compelling, strategic infomediaries. We will grow our capability to engage without depreciating our capability to architect. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think ubiquitous. Think one-to-one. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be granular? We usually empower next-generation all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions!