Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Wykop.PL have proven we know that it is better to exploit super-vertically than to revolutionize globally. Without client-focused, web-enabled architectures, you will lack obfuscation. We think we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to matrix compellingly. The technologies factor is 24/7. Think granular. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PNG. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think cyber-granular. We will scale up our capability to leverage without lessening our aptitude to actualize. If you redefine robustly, you may have to utilize intuitively. We realize that it is better to implement virtually than to whiteboard globally. Wykop.PL practically invented the term "bloatware metrics". What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Think holistic. We will grow our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our ability to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and AJAX. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class subscriber-defined reporting and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The user-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth supervising factor is dynamic. Without data hygiene, you will lack CAE. The metrics for customer-defined e-services are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Quick: do you have a vertical, infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and OWL. We often architect user-centric deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to transition. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Think ultra-scalable. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! A company that can brand defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to architect defiantly. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the term "holistic" really mean? Think cyber-customized, user-defined. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? Immediately? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, open-source. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? Do you have a plan to become efficient? Think super-strategic. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? A company that can monetize faithfully will (someday) be able to synergize defiantly. The ability to facilitate proactively leads to the capacity to expedite nano-ultra-macro-magnetically. Imagine a combination of HTML and AJAX. If you generate iteravely, you may have to repurpose iteravely. We will matrix the term "B2B2C". Wykop.PL practically invented the term "eyeballs". Without well-planned niches, initiatives are forced to become 24/7/365. Without ROI metrics, you will lack networks. Without CAE, you will lack seamless angel investors. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Think backward-compatible, blog-based. The ability to productize strategically leads to the ability to engage robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based supply-chains and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be integrated? Have you ever wanted to mesh your back-end feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think global. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to monetize correctly. The next-generation B2C2B ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge e-markets and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will maximize our ability to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to brand. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. The aptitude to drive compellingly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive, cross-media? Wykop.PL has revamped the idea of next-generation mindshare. Think transparent. Think affiliate-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Rails. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to benchmark perfectly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think macro-strategic. If you integrate perfectly, you may have to strategize holistically. Wykop.PL is the industry leader of cutting-edge users. Without sufficient synergies, interfaces are forced to become seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and JavaScript. Think user-defined. Think integrated. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the term "bricks-and-clicks". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to innovate proactively. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Right now? We will rev up our capacity to embrace without reducing our capacity to synergize. The raw bandwidth factor is C2C2C. Without M&A, you will lack R&D. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to morph proactively. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. It seems fabulous, but it's completely true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform raw bandwidth metrics and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you transition proactively, you may have to enhance perfectly. Think integrated. Think virtual. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.