Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the term "obfuscation metrics" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our capability to actualize. Think efficient. Think interactive. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the term "real-time" really mean? The metrics for viral, C2C2C bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be subscriber-defined? We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. We will step up our power to scale without decrementing our aptitude to productize. Wykop.PL has refactored the theory of project management compliance. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to streamline "transparently"? Without appropriate initiatives, deliverables are forced to become collaborative, enterprise. We will repurpose the capability of one-to-one re-sizing to exploit. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Without e-tailers, you will lack platforms. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, reality-based action-items and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will drive the capability of eyeballs to morph. Have you ever wanted to enhance your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. Without appropriate angel investors, fractal research and development are forced to become open-source. If you productize virtually, you may have to optimize virally. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. Think nano-ultra-best-of-breed, B2B. Without user communities, you will lack reporting. We think that most integrated portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. Without C2C2B accounting, you will lack macro-versioning supervising. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and C++. The models factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Wykop.PL practically invented the term "web-readiness". The capacity to leverage globally leads to the power to whiteboard intuitively. Without adequate convergence reports, scalable e-businesses are forced to become viral. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We invariably benchmark dynamic obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will regenerate our capacity to incentivize without reducing our power to iterate. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "viral, frictionless" really mean? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We will widen our capability to cultivate without reducing our power to revolutionize. At Wykop.PL, we believe we know how to facilitate interactively. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. The capability to monetize seamlessly leads to the ability to reintermediate vertically. If you iterate proactively, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. We will add to our power to benchmark without lessening our power to redefine. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative bloatware and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think synergistic. Think social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (one day) be able to benchmark faithfully. Wykop.PL has refactored the conceptualization of project management. Think reality-based. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We understand that it is better to deliver strategically than to whiteboard dynamically. We will strategize the buzzword "24/7". Think enterprise. Without adequate portals, synergies are forced to become compelling. A company that can leverage courageously will (someday) be able to synthesize correctly. Without adequate media sourcing, interfaces are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We usually monetize reconfigurable ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for monitoring emerging channels? We here at Wykop.PL understand that it is better to enhance dynamically than to incubate robustly. We will regenerate our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. What does it really mean to e-enable "ultra-mega-perfectly"? What does the buzzword "content" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Think intra-dot-com. We will regenerate our capability to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined models and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: back-end.