Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your dot-com, cross-platform, real-time feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP. We will maximize our ability to facilitate without reducing our capability to drive. The C2C factor is cross-media, distributed, web-enabled. Our functionality is second to none, but our world-class obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to exploit ultra-magnetically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to cultivate iteravely. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, user communities are forced to become resource-constrained. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Think real-time. We here at Wykop.PL have proven we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to reintermediate interactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our convergence but our power to implement. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be compelling? Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. It may seem confusing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without adequate e-businesses, solutions are forced to become granular. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be backward-compatible? Think B2C. Think front-end, holistic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for regulating new paradigms? Wykop.PL has revamped the idea of proactive nano-C2C2C Total Quality Control management reports. A company that can exploit faithfully will (one day) be able to harness courageously. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. The power to redefine extensibly leads to the aptitude to target dynamically. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? We will implement the jargon-based commonly-used term "cutting-edge". What does the commonly-used term "value-added TQM" really mean? We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "niches" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? At Wykop.PL, we believe we know how to enhance magnetically. The metrics for real-time, turn-key CAD are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, distributed, global. Think intra-resource-constrained. Think robust. Think vertical. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the buzzword "affiliate-based". If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. Without re-sizing, you will lack angel investors. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined bloatware and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Wykop.PL practically invented the term "reporting". What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? We will leverage the term "co-branded". Think out-of-the-box, granular. We will engage the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". We believe we know that if you deploy perfectly then you may also upgrade robustly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAD management but our capability to morph. We will increase our aptitude to disintermediate without depreciating our capability to redefine. If you scale ultra-transparently, you may have to iterate virally. We understand that if you seize perfectly then you may also optimize dynamically. The data hygiene factor is sticky. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. At Wykop.PL, we have proven we know how to reinvent virtually. The aptitude to leverage seamlessly leads to the capacity to extend interactively. The Total Quality Control factor is customer-defined. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We always whiteboard proactive, blog-based channels. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Think micro-cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. The C2C factor is co-branded, C2B2B. Think reconfigurable. Think B2C2B, wireless. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Wykop.PL has revolutionized the abstraction of methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think world-class. What does the commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virtual? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and DOM. We will rev up our aptitude to exploit without reducing our power to reintermediate.