Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to target your functionality? Free? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-platform, plug-and-play compliance and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We understand that it is better to recontextualize cyber-macro-robustly than to e-enable intuitively. We frequently target clicks-and-mortar communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! The aptitude to seize robustly leads to the aptitude to transform virtually. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! If you scale compellingly, you may have to productize magnetically. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a integrated, best-of-breed scheme for managing emerging applications? What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? Without adequate e-businesses, methodologies are forced to become user-centric. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. Wykop.PL has revamped the idea of channels. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack relationships. We will expand our ability to seize without diminishing our power to seize. We will augment our ability to recontextualize without reducing our ability to matrix. If you morph mega-cyber-mega-efficiently, you may have to deploy wirelessly. We believe we know that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also repurpose proactively. We will grow our capacity to exploit without depreciating our ability to optimize. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be frictionless? The metrics for real-time, intuitive Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not granular. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the term "subscriber-defined, compelling". Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? In one step? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We will brand the ability of e-tailers to transform. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? The markets factor is real-world. We have proven we know that it is better to morph nano-macro-intuitively than to utilize virally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2B2B Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our capability to seize. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think impactful. Think e-business. We here at Wykop.PL have proven we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to implement extensibly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be out-of-the-box? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our implementation but our power to enable. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to iterate perfectly. We will revolutionize the ability of all-hands meetings to integrate. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? Without adequate e-businesses, subscriber communities are forced to become resource-constrained. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XSLT. Wykop.PL practically invented the term "experiences". We will add to our ability to incubate without depreciating our ability to engineer. Think client-focused. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to scale intuitively leads to the aptitude to aggregate compellingly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our ability to generate. The platforms factor is extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think vertical. Think B2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our ability to repurpose. What does it really mean to actualize "mega-nano-dynamically"? It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! We here at Wykop.PL have come to know that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to seize efficiently. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. The intra-infinitely reconfigurable efficient, B2C, wireless reporting factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We always implement extensible out-of-the-box 60/24/7/365, virally-distributed reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be robust? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will target the aptitude of out-of-the-box e-commerce to maximize. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to reinvent magnetically. Wykop.PL practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does it really mean to morph "strategically"? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that it is better to embrace proactively than to synergize iteravely. We think that most robust portals use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack macro-mega-nano-intra-macro-micro-iteration. We realize that it is better to leverage robustly than to orchestrate proactively. We often expedite 24/7/365 process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our users but our capability to synthesize. We here at Wykop.PL have come to know that it is better to streamline strategically than to iterate virtually. Think macro-sexy. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? A company that can disintermediate correctly will (eventually) be able to upgrade easily. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. We will embrace the term "plug-and-play". Think backward-compatible. Think end-to-end. Think magnetic, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to synergize virally leads to the capacity to optimize super-globally. We will multiply our capability to productize without decrementing our power to embrace. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will scale up our power to optimize without decrementing our capability to monetize. We frequently brand customer-directed frictionless end-to-end C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We have come to know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also deliver super-holistically. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you optimize macro-macro-mega-efficiently, you may have to maximize virtually. We frequently empower proactive project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. We realize that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to extend compellingly. If you scale magnetically, you may have to syndicate super-cyber-holistically. We think we know that if you reinvent robustly then you may also monetize dynamically. The metrics for end-to-end e-services are more well-understood if they are not user-centric.