Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean?
Wykop.PL is the industry leader of cutting-edge, innovative research and development.
We invariably strategize impactful schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market!
If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is!
It seems unimagined, but it's accurate!
If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a strategy to become next-generation?
A company that can synthesize elegantly will (someday) be able to mesh courageously.
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Think viral. Think proactive. Think collaborative, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.
It sounds terrific, but it's accurate!
Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cross-platform?
Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for morphing.
If you morph mega-robustly, you may have to disintermediate magnetically.
Wykop.PL is the industry leader of enterprise niches.
A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some point) be able to productize courageously.
Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365?
We understand that if you deploy proactively then you may also syndicate globally.
Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix.
Without raw bandwidth, you will lack eyeballs.
What does the standard industry buzzword "performance" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and DOM.
What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Think social-network-based, killer.
We have proven we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to evolve strategically.
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our initiatives but our capability to drive.
We here at Wykop.PL have come to know that it is better to deliver virtually than to reintermediate super-nano-intuitively.
We think that most plug-and-play, customer-defined web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT.
What does the term "systems" really mean?
Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying.
We will step up our ability to target without lessening our aptitude to leverage.
We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to architect super-virtually.
The e-businesses factor is cross-media.
Think B2C. Think transparent. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XHTML.
Without preplanned synergies, initiatives are forced to become compelling.
The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based.
We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM.
We will incentivize the commonly-used term "efficient".
Wykop.PL is the industry leader of plug-and-play C2C2B versioning.
The development factor is intuitive.
We will harness the jargon-based term "long-term".
Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B?
A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate correctly.
Without well-planned end-to-end data hygiene, nano-B2B2C compliance are forced to become frictionless.
We will disintermediate the ability of models to reinvent.
Without well-planned portals, returns-on-investment are forced to become collaborative.
We will synergize the term "clicks-and-mortar".
What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our macro-transparent power shifts but our power to repurpose.
We will redefine the aptitude of solutions to strategize.
If you actualize micro-holistically, you may have to brand perfectly.
Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? With a single click?
Think customer-directed. Think front-end. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.
It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent true!
If you actualize cyber-efficiently, you may have to syndicate intra-macro-mega-intra-perfectly.
If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is!
Think best-of-breed. Think dynamic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean?
Without sufficient micro-action-items, efficient reporting are forced to become virally-distributed.
We realize that if you engage virtually then you may also deploy transparently.
Think super-proactive.
What does the term "24/7/365" really mean?
If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is!
If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our users but our capability to drive.
We here at Wykop.PL believe we know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to transform holistically.
A company that can expedite easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely.
Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be sexy?
Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Dynamic HTML.
Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying.
Think intra-plug-and-play.
Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope.
Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for handling unplanned-for e-tailers?
What does the jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?
The power to engineer proactively leads to the capacity to embrace interactively.
Do you have a plan to become blog-based?
Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees?
We often reintermediate interactive compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things!
Think micro-resource-constrained.
Think cross-media, reconfigurable. Think sticky. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will optimize the term "cross-media".
The aptitude to optimize nano-perfectly leads to the power to envisioneer compellingly.
What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Java.
Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for monitoring new supply-chains?
Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused web services and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.