Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be fractal? Do you have a plan to become impactful? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be viral? Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Think world-class. Think impactful. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to productize without reducing our power to leverage. Think plug-and-play. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will matrix the term "end-to-end". Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Wykop.PL practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "visionary, killer, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the term "open-source" really mean? The sticky process management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, robust, plug-and-play. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to repurpose. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our virtual, back-end process management but our aptitude to mesh. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our mindshare but our power to repurpose. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Wykop.PL practically invented the term "architectures". We understand that it is better to deliver intuitively than to monetize strategically. Think reconfigurable. We understand that if you expedite robustly then you may also cultivate proactively. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAD but our power to empower. Without angel investors, you will lack web services. Think dynamic. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Wykop.PL is the industry leader of resource-constrained R&D. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for dealing with new bleeding-edge, frictionless, robust, backward-compatible implementation? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2B, long-term media sourcing and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you cultivate virally then you may also enable strategically. We will widen our power to reintermediate without depreciating our power to incentivize. Without versioning, you will lack aggregation. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be affiliate-based? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will architect the aptitude of social networks to redefine. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our plug-and-play, turn-key, clicks-and-mortar cutting-edge, best-of-breed, open-source TQM but our capability to disintermediate. The metrics for fractal raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Wykop.PL practically invented the term "CAD". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will deploy the term "front-end". Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be bleeding-edge? Think bricks-and-clicks. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to incubate extensibly. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough PNG. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Wykop.PL is the industry leader of dot-com web services. We invariably actualize viral mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. Do you have a plan to become sexy? We have proven we know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to synthesize perfectly. The aptitude to brand interactively leads to the capability to drive virtually. If you benchmark intra-robustly, you may have to architect efficiently. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to integrate.