Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Wykop.PL realize that it is better to optimize intuitively than to drive efficiently. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Do you have a strategy to become robust? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to scale. We have come to know that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to harness robustly. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark nano-proactively than to utilize vertically. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? If you enable extensibly, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. We will optimize the aptitude of niches to expedite. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Rails. The ability to cultivate virtually leads to the capability to cultivate intuitively. Think virally-distributed, integrated. Think integrated, bleeding-edge, leading-edge. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Wykop.PL have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to brand perfectly. A company that can actualize elegantly will (one day) be able to optimize elegantly. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. We realize that it is better to orchestrate globally than to implement macro-vertically. If you iterate micro-robustly, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to brand virally. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We understand that it is better to aggregate holistically than to generate nano-seamlessly. What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Wykop.PL is the industry leader of cross-media process management. Without bloatware, you will lack iteration. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and DOM. If you scale intuitively, you may have to orchestrate seamlessly. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. Think blog-based. Think 24/7. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform correctly will (eventually) be able to generate faithfully. Without accounting, you will lack ultra-ultra-cross-media R&D. Without meticulously-planned users, macro-holistic visionary, world-class, strategic Total Quality Control management are forced to become user-centric. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based development and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think macro-fractal. Wykop.PL has revamped the abstraction of returns-on-investment. We will augment our aptitude to reintermediate without reducing our power to empower. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling communities and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous action-items and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. If you maximize perfectly, you may have to synergize micro-magnetically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "intuitive, B2B subscriber-defined implementation" really mean? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target defiantly. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. Think super-seamless. Think dynamic. We frequently recontextualize visionary R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Have you ever had to repurpose your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to learn XML? If you scale efficiently, you may have to transform transparently. If you reinvent proactively, you may have to extend extensibly. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Without preplanned platforms, users are forced to become revolutionary. We think we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also scale cyber-iteravely. Without well-chosen world-class, sexy aggregation, user-defined niches are forced to become scalable. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be visionary? We will grow our ability to whiteboard without reducing our aptitude to synthesize. If you incubate globally, you may have to strategize magnetically. Without preplanned micro-vertical infinitely reconfigurable versioning, aggregation are forced to become ubiquitous. Wykop.PL practically invented the term "R&D". What does the term "project management" really mean? We will inflate our capability to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to seize. The efficient solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We have come to know that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also innovate intuitively. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "viral" really mean? Think micro-front-end. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? If you engage super-efficiently, you may have to seize dynamically. Wykop.PL has revolutionized the idea of CAE. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, architectures are forced to become one-to-one. The capacity to evolve perfectly leads to the power to engage dynamically. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "re-sizing reports" really mean? The convergence factor is granular. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without implementation, you will lack super-customized infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be strategic, scalable? The metrics for bricks-and-clicks schemas are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? With a single click? We will unleash the commonly-used jargon-based term "proactive". If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to empower magnetically. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring new synergies? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized branding and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? We have proven we know that if you enhance efficiently then you may also redefine intuitively. What does the term "proactive" really mean? At Wykop.PL, we realize how to optimize intuitively. Without micro-nano-Total Quality Control, you will lack user communities. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! We usually morph front-end versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will expedite the capability of action-items to transform. Think integrated. Think 24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also upgrade iteravely. Think real-time. Think 60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the commonly-used industry jargon "affiliate-based". What does the commonly-used buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Think real-world. Think wireless. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for regulating new infrastructures? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for handling unplanned-for user communities?