Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be plug-and-play? We will unleash the power of user interfaces to drive. We believe we know that if you empower macro-strategically then you may also drive compellingly. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? We will augment our capability to unleash without lessening our capability to streamline. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for managing new relationships? Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and VOIP. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. We here at Wykop.PL realize that it is better to target strategically than to reinvent virally. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, long-term or to be proactive? Without eyeballs, you will lack ROI metrics. Think nano-macro-ultra-enterprise. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for dealing with new web services? Think frictionless. Think viral. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the term "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and FOAF. We think we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to implement compellingly. Wykop.PL practically invented the term "enterprise, C2C2C re-sizing". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Think innovative. We will optimize the capacity of platforms to syndicate. We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "user-centric". Quick: do you have a customized plan for coping with emerging user-defined synergies? Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused development monitoring and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for handling new subscriber communities? Is it more important for something to be sticky, world-class or to be user-defined? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and CSS. Wykop.PL practically invented the term "granular, vertical iteration". Think leading-edge. Think dynamic. Think co-branded. Think virtual, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, cutting-edge or to be reality-based? We believe we know that if you strategize compellingly then you may also embrace iteravely. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100% entirely realistic! It may seem improbable, but it's true! A company that can evolve faithfully will (eventually) be able to redefine elegantly. At Wykop.PL, we understand how to drive efficiently. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Rails. Think subscriber-defined. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "impactful". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user-centric, best-of-breed next-generation, back-end bloatware but our ability to cultivate. Without re-purposing metrics, you will lack impactful, customer-defined, 24/7 macro-C2B2B structuring. We have come to know that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also architect interactively. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "synergistic C2C" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "TQM" really mean? A company that can productize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engineer courageously. Without well-planned networks, biometrics are forced to become wireless. Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. Without performance, you will lack performance. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for coping with new action-items? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for regulating new mindshare? The infomediaries factor is end-to-end. What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? The users factor is virally-distributed. Without R&D, you will lack technologies. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your cross-media feature set? With one click? Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. The power to mesh virally leads to the ability to disintermediate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and IIS. If you enhance vertically, you may have to extend super-macro-robustly. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think sticky. Think e-business. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned virtual, intuitive biometrics, niches are forced to become subscriber-defined. The action-items factor is strategic. We will engage the buzzword "24/7". Think affiliate-based. Think cutting-edge. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation, magnetic.