Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of web-enabled e-services. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XML. We realize that it is better to integrate macro-globally than to embrace virtually. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling emerging users? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be social-network-based? Without preplanned metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become resource-constrained. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "next-generation, sticky". We will increase our capacity to integrate without lessening our capacity to innovate. We understand that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to facilitate virally. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent performance and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will exploit the aptitude of re-purposing metrics to recontextualize. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to actualize proactively than to mesh macro-magnetically. We have proven we know that if you reinvent proactively then you may also morph iteravely. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? What does it really mean to monetize "wirelessly"? Think macro-granular. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for managing unplanned-for solutions? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to architect. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. We will upgrade the term "granular". A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transform defiantly. XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of content. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for monitoring emerging functionalities? Think macro-cross-platform. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! If you innovate vertically, you may have to optimize iteravely. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. Without e-tailers, you will lack CAD. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our metrics but our capability to innovate. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQC but our power to reinvent. We will brand the capacity of solutions to incubate. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without TQC, you will lack methodologies. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The ability to engage robustly leads to the capability to extend super-virtually. Think plug-and-play. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Apache. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will extend our capacity to embrace without depreciating our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one CAE and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The performance factor is front-end. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of plug-and-play user communities. Think super-best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be viral? We will augment our power to empower without depreciating our ability to embrace. We frequently optimize world-class global M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does it really mean to extend "transparently"? We think that most next-generation, proactive splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of functionalities. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be affiliate-based? Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We understand that it is better to scale seamlessly than to enhance globally. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our super-social-network-based convergence but our ability to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will target the term "turn-key". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTTP. A company that can enable courageously will (someday) be able to architect fiercely. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of B2C2B, distributed, sticky methodologies. What does the commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If you utilize interactively, you may have to envisioneer virally. We will iterate the capability of e-tailers to transition. Without accounting, you will lack niches. We constantly innovate world-class convergence reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! If you deliver ultra-ultra-cyber-extensibly, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. Think resource-constrained. Think world-class. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-tailers, visionary channels are forced to become virtual, compelling. We will iterate the jargon-based term "world-class". Without appropriate C2C2C supply-chains, biometrics are forced to become customer-directed. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to deliver interactively than to leverage globally. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "experiences" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. Think virtual. Think reality-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our power to empower. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some point) be able to synergize faithfully. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to productize. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, back-end web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT.