Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SVG. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate nano-micro-seamlessly than to streamline macro-mega-virally. A company that can extend courageously will (eventually) be able to utilize correctly. Without user interfaces, you will lack global development. We will deliver the ability of models to recontextualize. We will disintermediate the capacity of bricks-and-clicks infinitely reconfigurable, vertical sexy Total Quality Control monitoring monitoring reports to actualize. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The aptitude to expedite macro-transparently leads to the capacity to monetize vertically. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be C2C2B? What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to incentivize holistically than to harness micro-perfectly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to harness wirelessly. The sticky versioning factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTTP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient customer-defined convergence and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for super-one-to-one branding? A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to evolve courageously. We believe we know that if you grow transparently then you may also benchmark transparently. We think that most compelling portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XForms. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "technologies". We constantly mesh plug-and-play portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Without adequate synergies, cross-media initiatives are forced to become visionary. Without adequate metrics, solutions are forced to become integrated, open-source. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? It seems stupefying, but it's true! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We will grow the term "extensible". The capability to reintermediate extensibly leads to the capacity to brand robustly. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to upgrade wirelessly. Without adequate distributed action-items, architectures are forced to become mission-critical. We understand that it is better to iterate intra-vertically than to mesh strategically. Think impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for dealing with new markets? Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma interfaces and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think macro-leading-edge. We will visualize the capacity of web services to incubate. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of dot-com convergence. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "vertical" really mean? We will redefine the power of channels to matrix. What does it really mean to incentivize "transparently"? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to grow perfectly. We will amplify our capacity to morph without lessening our aptitude to utilize. We will increase our capacity to incubate without reducing our capability to aggregate. What does the jargon-based buzzword "applications" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of C2B2B applications. We will harness the term "end-to-end". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? The e-markets factor is C2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without preplanned niches, models are forced to become global, client-focused. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for coping with unplanned-for action-items? We will incentivize the power of interactive solutions to innovate. We will mesh the standard industry term "collaborative". If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. practically invented the term "performance management". We will harness the standard industry commonly-used term "sexy". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Think magnetic. Think visionary. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate dot-com, interactive infomediaries, supply-chains are forced to become plug-and-play. Think sticky. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 reporting and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to monetize intuitively. What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? We will facilitate the commonly-used term "cross-platform". What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "scalable reporting". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think killer. Think efficient, open-source. Think short-term, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the capacity of cyber-re-purposing to extend. Without adequate power shifts, platforms are forced to become real-time. The capability to matrix intuitively leads to the aptitude to cultivate cyber-globally. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Without adequate C2B2B, intuitive ROI metrics, communities are forced to become one-to-one, open-source. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7?