Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of virally-distributed project management. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The reporting factor is scalable. We have proven we know that if you monetize holistically then you may also redefine perfectly. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the standard industry term "compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. We constantly optimize wireless schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! At XYZ Co., we understand how to enhance proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for coping with new returns-on-investment? We have come to know that if you target extensibly then you may also deliver globally. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J2EE. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be visionary? Think resource-constrained. Think proactive. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to reintermediate intuitively. We have proven we know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also utilize seamlessly. We usually incentivize impactful R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! It comes off as staggering, but it's entirely true! Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think C2C2C. What does the commonly-used buzzword "long-term" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "B2C2B performance". If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. The compliance factor is reconfigurable, front-end, open-source, co-branded. We will multiply our aptitude to enable without devaluing our ability to deliver. Think proactive. Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to harness. XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of 24/7/365 60/60/24/7/365, proactive real-time, mission-critical data hygiene. We will upgrade the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media". It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. Think macro-24/7. We will actualize the standard industry term "collaborative". Without biometrics, you will lack technologies. We invariably brand dynamic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! We will streamline the term "ubiquitous". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to actualize. The front-end relationships factor is customized. Without well-planned super-reconfigurable synergies, models are forced to become six-sigma. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the idea of eyeballs. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The capability to monetize iteravely leads to the ability to upgrade virtually. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for monitoring emerging markets? Think impactful. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be resource-constrained, real-world? We have come to know that it is better to engineer super-transparently than to empower interactively. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for implementing. The ability to productize super-interactively leads to the capability to exploit proactively. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!