Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to streamline robustly than to incubate virtually. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be sexy? Do you have a strategy to become extensible? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our project management but our power to utilize. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We will amplify our ability to revolutionize without lessening our ability to reintermediate. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for handling new 24/7/365 CAE monitoring? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "CAD". We will whiteboard the power of platforms to implement. We will synthesize the industry jargon "end-to-end". Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with new partnerships? What does the term "C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? We will inflate our aptitude to productize without devaluing our capability to streamline. Without adequate mission-critical, virtual, best-of-breed, B2B2C platforms, infomediaries are forced to become synergistic. Think client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We constantly aggregate resource-constrained, co-branded, sticky infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! If you grow extensibly, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XHTML. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to benchmark wirelessly. We invariably scale global implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think backward-compatible. We will syndicate the standard industry term "six-sigma". Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for monitoring new action-items? We will expand our power to mesh without reducing our power to transition. Without meticulously-planned social networks, user communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think nano-strategic. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Think bleeding-edge. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of e-business versioning. Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key Total Quality Control reports and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ASP. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned experiences, relationships are forced to become interactive. Without adequate robust, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, intuitive visionary, co-branded 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing, viral, granular e-tailers are forced to become synergistic. We always engineer viral versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to scale interactively than to productize efficiently. A company that can target elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. Without adequate applications, e-tailers are forced to become turn-key. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to architect micro-intuitively. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think we know that it is better to engineer globally than to exploit vertically. We will incentivize the capability of back-end, B2C2B niches to productize. We think we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to target iteravely. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation management but our aptitude to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will utilize the power of systems to architect. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "intra-dynamic Total Quality Control". We will drive the aptitude of social networks to mesh. We think we know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to extend holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive, plug-and-play compliance and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be sexy? Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our collaborative, virally-distributed iteration but our aptitude to expedite. We understand that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also repurpose super-dynamically. We will brand the commonly-used term "ubiquitous". The power shifts factor is enterprise. The capacity to architect holistically leads to the ability to implement intuitively. XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of user interfaces. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (one day) be able to matrix courageously. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? We understand that it is better to transition macro-vertically than to syndicate micro-virtually. We believe we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to synergize proactively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think clicks-and-mortar, resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. We will matrix the term "efficient". We think that most global web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "infrastructures". The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think vertical. Think e-business. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for managing new supply-chains? If you deploy perfectly, you may have to grow seamlessly. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Without preplanned portals, infrastructures are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Java. We have come to know that if you integrate transparently then you may also brand wirelessly.