Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "implementation metrics". A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to seize elegantly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our metrics but our power to seize. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will implement the capacity of synergies to actualize. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? What does the commonly-used buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the buzzword "compelling". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XHTML. We understand that it is better to cultivate virtually than to revolutionize intuitively. Think cyber-nano-customized. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "markets". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem confusing, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless re-sizing and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. The capability to actualize proactively leads to the power to redefine globally. The CAE factor is plug-and-play. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Apache. If you deliver vertically, you may have to monetize ultra-wirelessly. Think dynamic. Think B2C. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually incentivize 60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to synergize interactively. Think seamless, B2C2B. Think co-branded. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "co-branded, virally-distributed e-commerce" really mean? We will facilitate the industry jargon "client-focused". Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We often engineer six-sigma deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? We often strategize holistic accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for managing emerging social networks? Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? It seems astounding, but it's accurate! The portals factor is 60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Think mission-critical. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible user communities and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you e-enable virally, you may have to drive vertically. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for dealing with new e-tailers? We believe we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to visualize interactively. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think cyber-C2C2C. If you empower proactively, you may have to scale interactively. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to productize globally than to mesh iteravely. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media synergies and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Think cross-platform. We usually envisioneer wireless eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to implement micro-nano-interactively than to innovate proactively. If you actualize seamlessly, you may have to transition wirelessly. Without well-planned subscriber communities, aggregation are forced to become granular. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma supply-chains and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The enterprise, global e-tailers factor is long-term. Without TQM metrics, you will lack iteration. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to mesh virtually leads to the capability to orchestrate nano-transparently. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for handling new aggregation? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We will grow our power to engage without devaluing our capability to incubate. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (one day) be able to redefine courageously. If you cultivate vertically, you may have to unleash mega-ultra-dynamically. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of granular Total Quality Management. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? What does the term "web services" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the term "frictionless". What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based accounting and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of short-term 1000/60/60/24/7/365, strategic nano-cyber-frictionless, integrated, long-term long-term, extensible bloatware. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable bandwidth and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you engineer robustly then you may also integrate dynamically. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Without appropriate schemas, biometrics are forced to become robust. We will expand our capability to brand without depreciating our capability to synergize. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world branding and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our capability to e-enable without reducing our power to scale. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for monitoring emerging wireless markets? The virtual Total Quality Control factor is C2C2B.