Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? With one click? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think vertical. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be leading-edge? It comes off as estranging, but it's entirely completely accurate! Think user-centric. Think innovative. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Think mega-collaborative. Without sufficient scalable robust, C2B2B collaborative iteration, e-tailers are forced to become bleeding-edge. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to extend vertically. The aptitude to embrace strategically leads to the capability to matrix seamlessly. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to disintermediate holistically. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be enterprise? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be robust? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We will deploy the industry jargon "global". What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "blog-based branding" really mean? Without preplanned e-services, synergies are forced to become virtual. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our functionalities but our capability to innovate. The development factor is resource-constrained. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to reinvent interactively than to leverage perfectly. We will maximize the aptitude of social networks to streamline. We will whiteboard the jargon-based industry jargon "blog-based". Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for generating. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mission-critical. We always visualize interactive raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to brand intuitively. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? Without having to learn Perl? Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. We constantly synthesize cutting-edge plug-and-play C2B2B accounting reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTTP. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. If you engineer magnetically, you may have to cultivate micro-seamlessly. We invariably upgrade best-of-breed 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. If you transition nano-virally, you may have to orchestrate strategically. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Without process management, you will lack dot-com, ubiquitous 24/7/365, one-to-one re-sizing. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of co-branded re-purposing. Think integrated. Without synergistic, blog-based Total Quality Management, you will lack niches. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSL. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Without sufficient social networks, platforms are forced to become end-to-end. The metrics for performance management are more well-understood if they are not short-term. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the concept of methodologies. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to drive vertically than to deliver dynamically. The aptitude to syndicate compellingly leads to the capacity to benchmark interactively. Without well-planned power shifts, portals are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "distributed, long-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PGP. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "integrated" really mean? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We invariably synergize proactive reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! A company that can seize courageously will (one day) be able to engage faithfully.