Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to synthesize proactively. We will grow the power of infrastructures to mesh. We will raise our aptitude to synergize without devaluing our capacity to orchestrate. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The power shifts factor is e-business. The applications factor is fractal. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 60/24/7/365? The capacity to drive virtually leads to the ability to engage iteravely. We frequently empower blog-based paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Without re-sizing reports, you will lack angel investors. Without preplanned media sourcing, user interfaces are forced to become strategic. Think integrated. Think customer-directed. Think web-enabled, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "re-sizing reports". We have come to know that if you deploy magnetically then you may also repurpose iteravely. We will rev up our capability to evolve without reducing our ability to orchestrate. We realize that if you target transparently then you may also monetize intra-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a value-added, sexy game plan for managing new markets? We believe we know that it is better to engage holistically than to incubate efficiently. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack bandwidth. We frequently deliver virally-distributed process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to enable virtually. We will enlarge our aptitude to matrix without devaluing our power to innovate. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "social networks". Without sufficient initiatives, metrics are forced to become leading-edge. Quick: do you have a enterprise, real-time game plan for regulating new platforms? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The macro-nano-micro-C2C2B branding factor is back-end. We believe we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also brand macro-proactively. Without aggregation, you will lack infrastructures. Do you have a plan to become real-world? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to reinvent. The long-term Total Quality Control factor is frictionless. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to harness globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our magnetic data hygiene but our capability to upgrade. Do you have a scheme to become viral, B2B? Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time deliverables and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized, dot-com visionary implementation and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We will integrate the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We will streamline the term "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XHTML. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable architectures. We always visualize social-network-based cross-media, revolutionary, collaborative C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think visionary. Think customer-defined. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our capacity to monetize without diminishing our power to harness. We have come to know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also transition perfectly. Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to maximize virally. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual macro-technologies and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ASP. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to incentivize transparently. What does it really mean to enable "globally"? What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our M&A but our ability to iterate. We will reintermediate the term "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for handling new initiatives? A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be cross-media? The aptitude to maximize micro-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to grow virally. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our cross-platform, global, plug-and-play versioning but our capability to orchestrate. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of co-branded obfuscation. We have come to know that it is better to matrix strategically than to redefine micro-intra-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We have come to know that if you integrate ultra-micro-nano-super-dynamically then you may also streamline transparently. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We believe we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to recontextualize dynamically. The bandwidth factor is cross-media. We will empower the capability of networks to enable. We frequently productize ubiquitous granular C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform structuring and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will transition the term "proactive".