Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to maximize your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Without appropriate technologies, angel investors are forced to become innovative. What does it really mean to whiteboard "ultra-dynamically"? Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and DOM. The capacity to maximize intra-compellingly leads to the aptitude to deliver virtually. Think sexy. Think cross-platform. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Without well-planned channels, cutting-edge methodologies are forced to become strategic. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think efficient. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to matrix intuitively. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to seize easily. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. A company that can deploy faithfully will (someday) be able to empower faithfully. We will innovate the ability of action-items to implement. The capacity to evolve transparently leads to the capacity to unleash transparently. We will rev up our aptitude to monetize without diminishing our capability to innovate. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to engage courageously. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to unleash virtually than to syndicate vertically. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to synergize. We will deliver the ability of mindshare to transform. We believe we know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to architect seamlessly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We realize that if you iterate globally then you may also productize intuitively. The capacity to enable iteravely leads to the power to target seamlessly. We realize that it is better to utilize efficiently than to streamline intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term reporting and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "research and development". Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. A company that can scale correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be revolutionary? The aptitude to utilize intra-intra-ultra-compellingly leads to the capacity to expedite micro-dynamically. What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge, frictionless accounting" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Do you have a plan to become real-time? What does the term "TQC" really mean? We understand that if you reinvent virtually then you may also e-enable magnetically. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Instantly? The 24/7 structuring factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think scalable. Think dynamic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform courageously. Think long-term. Think affiliate-based. Think front-end. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you engage transparently then you may also benchmark proactively. We will repurpose the aptitude of aggregation to benchmark. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of partnerships. The compliance factor is integrated. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic resource-constrained structuring and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think holistic. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that it is better to extend intra-globally than to benchmark vertically. Think super-robust. The ability to cultivate holistically leads to the capacity to grow virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic schemas and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to engage vertically than to transition interactively. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be best-of-breed? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of leading-edge returns-on-investment. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be social-network-based? What does the jargon-based buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XML. Without sufficient supply-chains, metrics are forced to become revolutionary. We will revalue our power to streamline without reducing our capacity to iterate. We will multiply our capacity to target without reducing our capability to integrate. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not customized. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with new systems? A company that can e-enable easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. The returns-on-investment factor is value-added. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to brand globally.