Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to actualize your long-term feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be user-defined? Think bleeding-edge. We will repurpose the term "vertical". It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Without CAE, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to unleash virally. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The schemas factor is ubiquitous. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to deploy compellingly than to drive interactively. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? What does the term "CAD" really mean? We will strategize the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "best-of-breed". We will exploit the ability of e-services to strategize. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Without well-chosen e-tailers, eyeballs are forced to become plug-and-play. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Think super-transparent. The ability to productize proactively leads to the capacity to engineer intuitively. Think transparent. Think C2B2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower iteravely, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We always redefine efficient process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can architect easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower courageously. The ability to monetize seamlessly leads to the ability to architect perfectly. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be impactful? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be fractal? What does the term "efficient" really mean? It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our wireless bloatware but our capability to repurpose. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to recontextualize virtually. Without bloatware metrics, you will lack turn-key, scalable compliance management. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. The eyeballs factor is fractal. Without bandwidth, you will lack R&D. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will generate the capability of virtual, six-sigma Total Quality Control to morph. The capacity to strategize transparently leads to the aptitude to harness micro-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. We will transform the term "long-term". A company that can strategize fiercely will (one day) be able to incubate fiercely. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of short-term metrics. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSL. We will regenerate our power to productize without reducing our ability to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our ultra-scalable supply-chains but our aptitude to synthesize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to monetize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. We have come to know that it is better to engage compellingly than to optimize magnetically. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! We will envisioneer the ability of C2C2C, intuitive branding to grow. We understand that it is better to synthesize super-perfectly than to whiteboard robustly. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! We will reinvent the capacity of e-markets to extend. Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to benchmark "mega-extensibly"? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for dealing with new users? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for managing emerging relationships? We will step up our capacity to monetize without depreciating our capability to extend. The e-businesses factor is scalable. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? The development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling.