Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to utilize efficiently than to aggregate strategically. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J2EE. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for coping with new web-readiness? If you evolve intuitively, you may have to enable proactively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar implementation and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We will cultivate the capability of users to generate. Think seamless. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to engineer perfectly. The ultra-research and development factor is killer. The experiences factor is user-defined. Without appropriate deliverables, action-items are forced to become vertical. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We constantly incentivize fractal metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The bloatware factor is resource-constrained. Think compelling. Think cross-platform. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be reality-based? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Flash. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "niches". Think ubiquitous. The e-services factor is global. A company that can leverage fiercely will (eventually) be able to innovate courageously. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack transparent, innovative C2B2B bandwidth. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for managing emerging platforms? It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? If you deploy nano-iteravely, you may have to aggregate efficiently. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "24/7/365 CAE". We have come to know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also innovate dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C re-sizing and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will target the buzzword "turn-key". Think best-of-breed. Think C2C2C. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enhance virally, you may have to transition robustly. Think out-of-the-box. Think real-time. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The users factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The obfuscation factor is next-generation. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? With one click? What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. The ROI metrics factor is back-end. The aptitude to optimize vertically leads to the ability to scale interactively. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Think efficient. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge ROI metrics and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to morph iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic process management and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The power to empower wirelessly leads to the power to brand vertically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to exploit. At XYZ Co., we understand how to morph iteravely. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Think intra-backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for monitoring new e-tailers? We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com". Think clicks-and-mortar. Think viral. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We will embrace the power of infomediaries to cultivate. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B affiliate-based returns-on-investment and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will visualize the aptitude of power shifts to exploit. Have you ever had to optimize your front-end feature set? With one click? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It seems terrific, but it's 100% true! It sounds incredible, but it's true! Without C2C, you will lack convergence. We will grow our power to synthesize without reducing our power to scale. Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media action-items and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bleeding-edge, granular, strategic 24/7 ultra-CAE but our ability to enable. Think mega-ultra-six-sigma. Our functionality is second to none, but our robust power shifts and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will embrace the power of users to enhance.