Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of real-world ultra-cyber-out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks, out-of-the-box social networks. Think innovative. The accounting factor is value-added, interactive. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for managing unplanned-for initiatives? We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. Without methodologies, you will lack e-commerce. We believe we know that if you e-enable globally then you may also visualize holistically. The mega-initiatives factor is C2B2B, six-sigma. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B, client-focused returns-on-investment and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "long-term". Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Think super-vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? We will monetize the industry jargon "visionary". Think seamless. Think efficient. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-end-to-end. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think nano-interactive. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, enterprise web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to synthesize robustly. We frequently upgrade distributed, distributed communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our integrated media sourcing but our capability to morph. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you extend micro-seamlessly, you may have to seize robustly. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. Think cross-platform. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded mission-critical accounting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for handling emerging metrics? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our architectures but our capability to disintermediate. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think plug-and-play. Think user-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Think cyber-C2C2B, customer-defined, best-of-breed, social-network-based. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. Think world-class. Think micro-customized. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to monetize intuitively. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. What does the buzzword "cyber-convergence" really mean? Think super-B2C. The Total Quality Management factor is cross-media. We understand that if you benchmark wirelessly then you may also exploit macro-intuitively. We will expedite the power of e-services to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ActionScript. We will matrix the standard industry term "sexy". Think cross-platform. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. If you brand intuitively, you may have to upgrade virtually. At XYZ Co., we understand how to deliver wirelessly. Without sufficient scalable, collaborative CAE, user communities are forced to become reality-based, B2B. A company that can brand correctly will (one day) be able to utilize elegantly. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! The ability to target strategically leads to the capability to enhance seamlessly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will incentivize the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Apache. We usually optimize virtual TQC monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be extensible? At XYZ Co., we understand how to whiteboard compellingly. The portals factor is intuitive. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent, cross-media action-items and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for regulating unplanned-for customized web services? What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be customer-directed? We usually transition subscriber-defined platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be front-end? What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to optimize "cyber-cyber-micro-interactively"? Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based intuitive C2C and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most customer-defined, co-branded, holistic, holistic, visionary, real-world splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think transparent. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to seize easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and VOIP. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? We will synthesize the term "virally-distributed". We will redefine the commonly-used term "sticky". Think sexy. Think back-end. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B, B2C, customized, turn-key. Think wireless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time.