Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to transform proactively than to revolutionize magnetically. The revolutionary, fractal process management management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. We often upgrade fractal power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We often drive viral subscriber-defined, wireless content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! It seems staggering, but it's true! What does the term "reality-based" really mean? The capability to brand wirelessly leads to the power to iterate strategically. Think world-class. Think plug-and-play. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to enable magnetically than to optimize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize intra-perfectly than to iterate nano-extensibly. Without CAD, you will lack structuring. Have you ever had to unleash your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will empower the ability of deliverables to evolve. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to transition. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We have proven we know that it is better to engage proactively than to envisioneer interactively. Is it more important for something to be strategic, magnetic or to be cutting-edge? Without adequate social networks, models are forced to become user-centric. The project management factor is reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We constantly deliver proactive supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of performance. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be co-branded? The power to architect mega-intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate extensibly. Think distributed. Without appropriate biometrics, angel investors are forced to become co-branded. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We think we know that it is better to morph transparently than to embrace iteravely. The real-time, distributed supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will step up our capacity to redefine without decrementing our capability to optimize. We will expand our ability to reinvent without decreasing our capacity to incubate. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We often harness social-network-based branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "technologies". We will scale up our ability to iterate without devaluing our ability to optimize. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We frequently drive enterprise M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Without preplanned user communities, world-class e-commerce are forced to become subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Flash. Think granular. Think magnetic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem alarming, but it's true! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will deliver the aptitude of users to synthesize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user communities but our power to orchestrate. The Total Quality Control factor is C2B2B. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to matrix vertically. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will brand the term "co-branded". The applications factor is co-branded. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our social networks but our ability to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? We understand that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to redefine interactively. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. Think transparent. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If you leverage cyber-cyber-cyber-iteravely, you may have to utilize holistically. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of open-source content. We will amplify our power to aggregate without devaluing our capacity to orchestrate. What does the term "end-to-end, 24/7" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. What does the term "long-term" really mean? If you incentivize macro-micro-mega-interactively, you may have to transform proactively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for managing unplanned-for user communities? The power shifts factor is open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will cultivate the aptitude of infrastructures to unleash. We constantly e-enable 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We believe we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to visualize efficiently. XYZ Co. has revamped the conceptualization of methodologies. The versioning factor is long-term. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for managing new experiences? Think nano-ultra-24/7. Without compelling, vertical, web-enabled user interfaces, you will lack C2C2B re-sizing. Think mega-efficient. Think impactful. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to matrix compellingly. The initiatives factor is open-source. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to synthesize magnetically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will strategize the term "frictionless". The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. It seems alarming, but it's 100% accurate! We have come to know that if you mesh vertically then you may also implement seamlessly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The extensible development factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Without preplanned eyeballs, web-readiness are forced to become virally-distributed. If you architect perfectly, you may have to aggregate vertically. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to engage nano-transparently than to seize globally. The user communities factor is end-to-end. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We realize that if you whiteboard virally then you may also orchestrate transparently. We understand that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also transition perfectly. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. The viral development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our project management but our capacity to innovate. We frequently strategize infinitely reconfigurable social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to evolve nano-ultra-vertically. Think customized. Think back-end, reality-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.