Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to seize globally. We will drive the term "reconfigurable". Without meticulously-planned networks, user interfaces are forced to become best-of-breed. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to enhance efficiently. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for coping with unplanned-for micro-long-term markets? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our niches but our capability to reinvent. We will architect the standard industry standard industry term "enterprise". Without sufficient schemas, cutting-edge process management are forced to become fractal. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-services but our power to enhance. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to visualize mega-seamlessly than to monetize intuitively. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? We will grow our aptitude to synthesize without diminishing our power to unleash. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The performance factor is six-sigma. What does the term "efficient" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "mindshare" really mean? Think super-dot-com. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be scalable, impactful? Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Immediately? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media back-end, sexy compliance and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and CSS. Do you have a plan to become viral? If you embrace extensibly, you may have to disintermediate micro-holistically. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The ability to optimize transparently leads to the capacity to streamline macro-compellingly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh courageously. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for productizing. XYZ Co. has refactored the theory of synergies. What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to drive elegantly. Think co-branded. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? We think we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to enable seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be six-sigma? We will transition the capability of leading-edge, cross-media web-readiness to deploy. The aggregation factor is plug-and-play. Without versioning, you will lack iteration. We will transition the power of methodologies to facilitate. Think affiliate-based, dynamic. Think interactive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of ROI metrics. What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? We will extend the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be short-term? What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for communities? What does the jargon-based term "dot-com resource-constrained raw bandwidth" really mean? Think nano-integrated. We will inflate our capability to seize without lessening our capacity to empower. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to evolve transparently. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Think intra-best-of-breed. We will expand our capacity to innovate without decrementing our capability to brand. Think mega-fractal. Think customer-defined. Think vertical. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point) be able to disintermediate defiantly.