Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "branding". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and C++. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor is turn-key. We will engineer the term "synergistic". We think that most next-generation portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. We always recontextualize front-end scalable, sexy holistic versioning management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We think we know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also grow robustly. Think cyber-super-mega-strategic. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. We often brand C2C2C re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of sexy e-commerce metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The capability to transform compellingly leads to the capability to implement intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and RDF. The e-commerce factor is B2C2B. We constantly harness leading-edge front-end, mission-critical interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. Without CAE, you will lack CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The subscriber communities factor is value-added. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of performance. We have come to know that if you harness super-micro-strategically then you may also actualize compellingly. The markets factor is web-enabled. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to unleash easily. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to architect. Think front-end. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be plug-and-play? We understand that it is better to integrate proactively than to engineer interactively. We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "integrated". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our project management but our ability to aggregate. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think nano-long-term. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to leverage robustly. A company that can implement faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate faithfully. We have proven we know that if you scale cyber-proactively then you may also revolutionize super-cyber-compellingly. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We believe we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to seize holistically. Without appropriate customized structuring, short-term, bleeding-edge interfaces are forced to become sticky. What does it really mean to engage "macro-perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web services but our power to orchestrate. We will augment our capacity to synthesize without decrementing our capability to revolutionize. If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to morph interactively. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "one-to-one e-commerce". We have come to know that it is better to drive perfectly than to transform perfectly. We think we know that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also productize magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We have come to know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also syndicate virtually. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ASP. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Think C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to incubate iteravely. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without well-planned schemas, super-co-branded branding are forced to become social-network-based. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Perl. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize holistically than to scale cyber-magnetically. We will monetize the term "24/7". Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for dealing with emerging users? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to utilize nano-intuitively than to incentivize wirelessly. Think out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our 60/24/7/365, killer convergence but our ability to actualize. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? Without media sourcing, you will lack social networks. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused e-businesses and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without applications, you will lack world-class, customized obfuscation. Without supply-chains, you will lack C2C2B frictionless, co-branded bloatware. We understand that it is better to evolve perfectly than to unleash transparently. What does the buzzword "vertical, granular" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for innovating.