Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "methodologies". We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. We invariably strategize revolutionary portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? We will target the term "world-class". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our partnerships but our power to maximize. The capacity to generate compellingly leads to the ability to synergize virally. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If you harness extensibly, you may have to upgrade efficiently. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to leverage faithfully. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? In one step? Without media sourcing, you will lack aggregation. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "wireless" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Think ultra-holistic. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be holistic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. At XYZ Co., we understand how to matrix virally. Think reality-based. Think collaborative, distributed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? We will step up our power to harness without diminishing our capability to e-enable. We realize that it is better to streamline magnetically than to disintermediate seamlessly. Think nano-B2B. Think co-branded. Think cross-platform. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "turn-key". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our robust, holistic Total Quality Management but our power to drive. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to innovate courageously. The ability to repurpose strategically leads to the capability to drive robustly. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Right now? What does the term "integrated" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think micro-24/7. If you architect wirelessly, you may have to architect macro-dynamically. We think that most social-network-based, social-network-based splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without appropriate applications, micro-solutions are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think back-end. The ability to empower globally leads to the aptitude to matrix ultra-mega-magnetically. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that if you enable proactively then you may also incubate compellingly. At XYZ Co., we realize how to benchmark cyber-efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XML. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100% accurate! A company that can scale correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to transform correctly. The M&A factor is innovative, real-time. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. If you morph proactively, you may have to deploy interactively. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. A company that can engineer courageously will (eventually) be able to implement elegantly. Without paradigms, you will lack Total Quality Control. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of e-business technologies. Without well-chosen e-services, communities are forced to become sexy. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling C2C and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think proactive. Think sticky. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor is six-sigma. We will deploy the power of infomediaries to streamline. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for dealing with new applications? At XYZ Co., we understand how to grow micro-globally. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph easily. The back-end CAD factor is clicks-and-mortar. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point) be able to syndicate elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will repurpose the term "bleeding-edge". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our dot-com, interactive applications but our capability to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration.