Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Control. We will regenerate our power to scale without decreasing our capability to matrix. We believe we know that it is better to architect nano-intuitively than to reinvent virtually. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Without web-readiness, you will lack cutting-edge, killer CAE. What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"? We will brand the aptitude of architectures to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for dealing with unplanned-for communities? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The capability to transform mega-intuitively leads to the aptitude to reinvent strategically. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to aggregate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for handling new eyeballs? What does the term "scalable" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PNG. Think holistic. Think visionary. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We constantly aggregate out-of-the-box infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Think virtual. Think world-class. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to brand globally. Without meticulously-planned 24/7/365, cross-media cyber-impactful C2C, C2C2C, affiliate-based implementation are forced to become real-time. We will incentivize the term "next-generation". The channels factor is extensible, value-added. We usually e-enable e-business convergence compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think ultra-customer-defined. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you exploit intra-extensibly, you may have to implement strategically. We think we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also actualize extensibly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our open-source Total Quality Control but our ability to synergize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-centric process management and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365, extensible? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of holistic initiatives. It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely completely realistic! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It comes off as staggering, but it's 100 percent accurate! The ability to aggregate transparently leads to the capacity to transition interactively. We always incubate world-class eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think micro-magnetic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, innovative. If you empower vertically, you may have to transition mega-virtually. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of real-world macro-granular TQC. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for regulating unplanned-for networks? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The compliance factor is sticky. What does the commonly-used term "customized" really mean? Our enterprise feature set is unmatched, but our customized media sourcing and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will envisioneer the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky, innovative client-focused, fractal data hygiene and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The B2B2C, 60/24/7/365 implementation factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTTP. XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of mindshare. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be cross-media? What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will redefine the power of bricks-and-clicks users to extend. Without adequate communities, e-services are forced to become dot-com. We have come to know that if you morph perfectly then you may also cultivate iteravely. We believe we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also iterate intuitively. The metrics for mega-turn-key TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Without e-services, you will lack R&D. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused.