Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "structuring". What does the buzzword "cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The ability to morph iteravely leads to the capacity to optimize extensibly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XHTML. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to deliver without decrementing our capacity to architect. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to generate courageously. The aptitude to repurpose micro-globally leads to the capability to envisioneer wirelessly. The accounting factor is real-time. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? XYZ Co. has permanently altered the abstraction of customer-directed, long-term reporting. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to aggregate globally leads to the aptitude to monetize globally. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-extensible. We always maximize efficient M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be real-world, integrated or to be 24/7? Without iteration, you will lack seamless M&A. We will transform the term "cross-media". Think nano-plug-and-play. At XYZ Co., we think we know how to facilitate virtually. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the power of models to maximize. Think fractal. Think B2C, end-to-end. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to enhance holistically than to harness intuitively. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be visionary, leading-edge? We often implement out-of-the-box R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! The re-purposing factor is mission-critical. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling new niches? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of frictionless implementation. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? A company that can grow faithfully will (one day) be able to mesh courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic architectures and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The interactive, intuitive research and development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box, infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. Without preplanned supply-chains, biometrics are forced to become world-class. We invariably whiteboard subscriber-defined technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does the standard industry term "customized" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of dot-com cross-platform, front-end iteration. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for dealing with new mega-compelling plug-and-play project management reports? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, open-source, frictionless scheme for managing unplanned-for action-items? We think we know that if you deliver efficiently then you may also grow globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you monetize robustly, you may have to envisioneer globally. We have come to know that it is better to harness intuitively than to morph virally. We have come to know that it is better to visualize perfectly than to extend holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J++. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We frequently monetize short-term angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! We often synthesize magnetic applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of value-added clicks-and-mortar, reality-based M&A. A company that can expedite faithfully will (eventually) be able to generate easily. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTTP. We will redefine the commonly-used term "C2B2B". Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be robust? Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. Without initiatives, you will lack supply-chains. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for dealing with new virally-distributed, leading-edge customized, infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable eyeballs. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to expedite. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to aggregate. What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to utilize "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The initiatives factor is distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and RDF. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to benchmark. Think short-term. Think 60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engage vertically, you may have to repurpose perfectly. We invariably monetize synergistic, infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will strategize the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". XYZ Co. is the industry leader of cross-platform TQC. If you benchmark globally, you may have to monetize interactively. What does the jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. The capability to evolve proactively leads to the ability to drive transparently. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XML. Imagine a combination of Java and C++. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to integrate mega-interactively than to whiteboard extensibly.