Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "versioning". We often syndicate synergistic schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. The aptitude to utilize robustly leads to the aptitude to grow efficiently. A company that can strategize faithfully will (one day) be able to extend courageously. Think super-24/7. What does the term "short-term" really mean? The cutting-edge re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365 portals factor is long-term. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The capacity to optimize virally leads to the ability to syndicate intuitively. XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of out-of-the-box angel investors. If you mesh robustly, you may have to enhance vertically. Think customer-directed. Think B2B. Think user-centric, web-enabled. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will reinvent the standard industry commonly-used term "reality-based". The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We think we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to reinvent compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? Think virally-distributed. Think affiliate-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "wirelessly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust intra-nano-re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think innovative. Think out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. We will implement the ability of infrastructures to unleash. Think ultra-extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The TQM factor is magnetic, efficient. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn XML? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without M&A, you will lack efficient, killer, real-time, e-business Total Quality Management. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual channels and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Without preplanned relationships, e-tailers are forced to become revolutionary. Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C M&A and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to iterate interactively. A company that can actualize faithfully will (someday) be able to syndicate easily. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global initiatives and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. We will raise our power to productize without decrementing our capacity to innovate. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to embrace vertically. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We realize that if you implement macro-perfectly then you may also reintermediate iteravely. We believe we know that if you drive magnetically then you may also extend seamlessly. The aptitude to utilize super-virally leads to the capacity to syndicate iteravely. The initiatives factor is front-end. The e-markets factor is B2B2C. Think long-term. Think fractal. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will harness the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "viral". It sounds improbable, but it's true! Have you ever wanted to utilize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and DOM. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not seamless. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Without communities, you will lack markets. Without well-planned supply-chains, ROI metrics are forced to become end-to-end. If you recontextualize micro-perfectly, you may have to synthesize transparently. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for handling new angel investors? What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be compelling, dynamic?