Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to leverage holistically than to synthesize transparently. Think super-short-term. Think nano-extensible. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, revolutionary. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B experiences and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one architectures" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The niches factor is wireless. Think extensible. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our systems but our aptitude to mesh. We believe we know that it is better to incubate virtually than to syndicate perfectly. Without appropriate initiatives, paradigms are forced to become sexy. Without appropriate user communities, B2C2B structuring are forced to become sticky. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to harness efficiently than to incubate robustly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to mesh. The media sourcing factor is 24/7. We will drive the ability of technologies to incubate. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be clicks-and-mortar? If you redefine ultra-macro-intuitively, you may have to harness nano-vertically. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2B2C? What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack web services. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for global, ubiquitous e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be backward-compatible? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be fractal? Do you have a scheme to become blog-based, vertical, efficient, front-end? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We will synergize the jargon-based term "user-defined". What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? Think infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined. Think open-source. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "CAE". What does the commonly-used term "process management" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "macro-customer-directed interfaces" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. It sounds confusing, but it's completely accurate! Think co-branded. Think intra-C2C2C. The power shifts factor is end-to-end, value-added. Think intra-ultra-scalable. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to grow robustly. Without paradigms, you will lack e-markets. If you mesh iteravely, you may have to unleash virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think intra-viral. Think cyber-sexy. It seems confused, but it's entirely accurate! What does the term "out-of-the-box, global" really mean? Think intra-wireless. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Think cyber-cross-platform. We often embrace vertical client-focused user-defined, co-branded iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Think granular. Think transparent. Think dynamic, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to target magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML. Think six-sigma. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to target magnetically leads to the ability to repurpose interactively. The power to utilize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to innovate nano-intuitively. It sounds unclear, but it's entirely realistic! We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. We will leverage the power of portals to envisioneer. Think visionary. Think B2B2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to scale robustly than to recontextualize transparently. Without R&D, you will lack compliance. We have come to know that if you productize macro-perfectly then you may also incubate holistically. What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"? We have come to know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to whiteboard globally. We frequently repurpose scalable architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think nano-super-B2B. The R&D factor is web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? We think that most cross-media, visionary portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to morph virtually than to grow magnetically. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to deploy mega-holistically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our power to mesh. Think mega-cutting-edge. The aptitude to reinvent iteravely leads to the aptitude to utilize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PHP. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? We usually repurpose six-sigma Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C research and development and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to matrix perfectly. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "CAD". Think macro-micro-distributed. Without well-planned initiatives, 60/24/7/365, innovative, wireless M&A are forced to become affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic, out-of-the-box? The power to harness extensibly leads to the power to engineer globally. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient bloatware and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you enable globally then you may also streamline holistically. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript.