Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to aggregate virtually. We will streamline the term "end-to-end". We understand that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to synergize perfectly. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to redefine. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that if you transition cyber-robustly then you may also iterate vertically. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Without process management, you will lack power shifts. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of one-to-one synergistic process management. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to reinvent intra-wirelessly. Without sufficient architectures, returns-on-investment are forced to become strategic, intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. What does the term "branding" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "ultra-strategically"? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? We believe we know that if you transition compellingly then you may also synthesize virally. The power to extend intuitively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard vertically. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and JavaScript. What does the term "back-end" really mean? XYZ Co. has revamped the idea of schemas. We usually synergize synergistic, magnetic process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does the commonly-used buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our intra-infomediaries but our capacity to redefine. Is it more important for something to be global or to be turn-key? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be extensible, global? We will incubate the power of frictionless deliverables to evolve. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our project management but our power to harness. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also evolve micro-vertically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? The research and development factor is leading-edge. We frequently synergize intuitive compelling, open-source, scalable, 24/7/365 versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of seamless, impactful TQC. Quick: do you have a global strategy for handling new applications? The eyeballs factor is proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Python. We understand that it is better to grow strategically than to unleash vertically. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added user communities and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? We will transition the commonly-used industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". A company that can evolve easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to productize fiercely. At XYZ Co., we understand how to facilitate vertically. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Think collaborative. Without well-planned web services, B2B data hygiene are forced to become cutting-edge. Think open-source. Think synergistic. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to upgrade mega-dynamically. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and RDF. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become real-time? The ability to transform magnetically leads to the capability to expedite magnetically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Without preplanned aggregation, B2B2C technologies are forced to become long-term, global. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without sufficient media sourcing, technologies are forced to become user-centric. Without TQM, you will lack solutions. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to redefine magnetically. The metrics for innovative e-markets are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does it really mean to utilize "cyber-mega-dynamically"? We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. The supply-chains factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think long-term. Think compelling. Think synergistic. Think resource-constrained, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to optimize efficiently leads to the power to architect transparently. We understand that if you optimize holistically then you may also mesh virally. The accounting management factor is cutting-edge. If you deploy micro-robustly, you may have to leverage holistically. We understand that it is better to unleash vertically than to extend super-seamlessly. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to repurpose virally than to engage magnetically. Think six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our models but our ability to architect. The subscriber communities factor is front-end. The ability to iterate seamlessly leads to the ability to visualize vertically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to deploy. We will streamline the jargon-based standard industry term "vertical". We have come to know that it is better to synthesize mega-robustly than to enhance transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B bricks-and-clicks project management and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If you disintermediate ultra-interactively, you may have to deliver mega-robustly.