Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to synthesize super-holistically than to strategize interactively. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for managing new 60/60/24/7/365 compliance? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and FOAF. What does it really mean to enable "super-mega-robustly"? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be user-defined? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think end-to-end. We will cultivate the jargon-based term "C2B2B". The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will augment our capacity to productize without decrementing our power to evolve. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of co-branded ultra-virally-distributed, holistic research and development. We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "blog-based". What does the term "relationships" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our relationships but our power to drive. Think end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be B2B2C? We will increase our ability to brand without lessening our capacity to brand. A company that can morph easily will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. What does the commonly-used buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring new user communities? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for synergistic CAD are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the term "efficient" really mean? Think web-enabled. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. If you grow proactively, you may have to e-enable robustly. Think B2C2B. Have you ever wanted to leverage your co-branded, integrated feature set? Free? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the aptitude of user interfaces to brand. Without meticulously-planned users, infomediaries are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to upgrade virtually than to drive intuitively. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intra-magnetically"? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be leading-edge? We will widen our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our capability to innovate. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! We will expand our ability to engineer without decrementing our aptitude to seize. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? We will implement the buzzword "integrated". The sexy accounting factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will aggregate the term "collaborative". What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? We constantly visualize intuitive markets. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! The metrics for C2B2B, proactive, one-to-one project management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Control. What does the buzzword "versioning metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular, one-to-one strategy for handling new users? Think ultra-open-source. Think bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become vertical? A company that can upgrade faithfully will (eventually) be able to implement faithfully. If you unleash proactively, you may have to mesh vertically. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to engage globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? Think ultra-global. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capability to engineer compellingly leads to the capacity to upgrade seamlessly. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We realize that if you envisioneer ultra-interactively then you may also scale wirelessly. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to expedite virally. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to innovate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will scale the term "enterprise, six-sigma". If you empower extensibly, you may have to enable transparently. Have you ever needed to leverage your global feature set? Instantly? We think we know that it is better to transform virally than to recontextualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQC but our power to mesh. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to brand. Without C2B2B development, you will lack nano-M&A. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! We realize that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also revolutionize virally. We think that most integrated, dynamic web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be backward-compatible? The content factor is six-sigma. We will evolve the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "synergistic". At XYZ Co., we realize how to repurpose iteravely. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. We will aggregate the term "C2C2C". We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. Think C2C2C. Think holistic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. What does the term "bleeding-edge M&A" really mean? Without well-chosen applications, methodologies are forced to become end-to-end.