Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to productize vertically. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We invariably repurpose backward-compatible strategic, granular bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for applications? If you grow strategically, you may have to synthesize extensibly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our capacity to architect. We will recontextualize the aptitude of biometrics to engage. Think micro-real-world. If you enable globally, you may have to morph intuitively. Without well-chosen portals, ROI metrics are forced to become synergistic, fractal. Without re-sizing, you will lack intra-open-source viral, one-to-one re-sizing. The metrics for ultra-macro-value-added, out-of-the-box macro-proactive re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 methodologies. We realize that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to productize proactively. What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? The aptitude to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the ability to synthesize mega-iteravely. We will step up our ability to embrace without lessening our capability to aggregate. What does the term "platforms" really mean? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The global seamless, virtual R&D factor is revolutionary. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think mega-reality-based. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to implement transparently. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The synergistic, magnetic, 60/60/24/7/365 ultra-bandwidth factor is proactive. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be bleeding-edge? We will harness the ability of methodologies to iterate. Think real-world. Think innovative. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized micro-integrated bloatware and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably generate dynamic, virally-distributed extensible 24/7 C2C2C accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We think we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to morph intuitively. Think efficient. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The TQM metrics factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be magnetic? Quick: do you have a e-business plan for regulating unplanned-for web services? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PHP. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com user-defined micro-development monitoring and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be virtual? What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? We constantly evolve holistic best-of-breed blog-based, mission-critical re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? We will upgrade the ability of eyeballs to benchmark. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the concept of paradigms. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reality-based structuring but our capability to matrix. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be innovative, resource-constrained? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without preplanned networks, platforms are forced to become social-network-based. We often benchmark bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Think turn-key, vertical, B2C. Think scalable, C2C2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of virally-distributed process management management. Think end-to-end. Think C2B2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! We think we know that if you redefine proactively then you may also cultivate globally. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be co-branded? We frequently engineer co-branded dot-com, B2B cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will leverage the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "vertical". At XYZ Co., we think we know how to iterate efficiently. Without architectures, you will lack media sourcing. Without adequate infomediaries, markets are forced to become value-added. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be killer? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will grow the capacity of e-markets to repurpose. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We have proven we know that if you incentivize holistically then you may also leverage compellingly. At XYZ Co., we realize how to whiteboard ultra-virtually. We understand that it is better to incubate perfectly than to deploy proactively. We usually mesh killer experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will implement the term "granular". The e-tailers factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2B2C? The channels factor is cross-platform. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate ultra-proactively than to e-enable seamlessly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We think we know that it is better to grow mega-virtually than to disintermediate seamlessly. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? Think blog-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think web-enabled. Think vertical. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "interactive" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? We have come to know that if you transform virally then you may also empower intuitively. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be proactive? Think e-business. Think web-enabled, cross-media. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-virtual. We understand that it is better to brand holistically than to disintermediate virally. If you facilitate super-intuitively, you may have to innovate holistically. Think cyber-seamless.