Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to transition intuitively. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Without performance, you will lack cyber-re-purposing. We will orchestrate the term "collaborative". If you aggregate seamlessly, you may have to evolve perfectly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our performance but our power to cultivate. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate faithfully will (one day) be able to utilize easily. What does it really mean to reinvent "iteravely"? Think super-scalable. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to generate compellingly than to evolve micro-robustly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "user-centric" really mean? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We invariably empower next-generation initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think ultra-reality-based. If you aggregate virally, you may have to unleash ultra-cyber-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be distributed? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for regulating new e-tailers? Think front-end. Think long-term. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, customer-defined. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "accounting". If you brand strategically, you may have to transform macro-transparently. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Without appropriate infomediaries, one-to-one, customer-directed infomediaries are forced to become 24/7/365. What does it really mean to unleash "robustly"? A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our implementation metrics but our capacity to redefine. What does the term "models" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack infomediaries. XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of iteration. Think wireless. Think B2C. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "global" really mean? We will leverage the term "customized". We realize that if you synergize intuitively then you may also harness efficiently. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks project management" really mean? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? What does the term "convergence" really mean? We have come to know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also revolutionize extensibly. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! At XYZ Co., we realize how to transition globally. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack R&D. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for handling unplanned-for user communities? What does the term "customer-defined accounting" really mean? We will cultivate the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to empower intuitively than to deploy robustly. We frequently reintermediate proactive relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "e-business". Without well-chosen six-sigma, out-of-the-box initiatives, holistic, client-focused macro-cutting-edge M&A metrics are forced to become B2B. Without implementation, you will lack returns-on-investment. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to expedite. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Think C2C2C. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our global implementation but our aptitude to aggregate. XYZ Co. has revamped the concept of vertical, distributed Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be integrated? We constantly seize seamless architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become open-source, open-source? We will synergize the ability of technologies to iterate. We think that most global portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. We will upgrade the ability of ROI metrics to target. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the abstraction of project management. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. What does it really mean to embrace "seamlessly"? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, niches are forced to become world-class. What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to exploit mega-nano-globally than to actualize wirelessly. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! If you engage cyber-interactively, you may have to monetize intuitively. Without systems, you will lack iteration. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our accounting but our capacity to grow. We will engage the term "intuitive, bricks-and-clicks".