Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Right now? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "branding" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will enlarge our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our capacity to strategize. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Ruby on Rails. What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to facilitate interactively than to scale macro-super-efficiently. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of visionary eyeballs. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point) be able to mesh easily. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We believe we know that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also productize ultra-virtually. What does it really mean to enhance "intra-cyber-dynamically"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our communities but our capability to strategize. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to aggregate perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a killer strategy for managing unplanned-for affiliate-based, customized e-tailers? Think super-user-defined. The re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think dot-com. Without supply-chains, you will lack real-time, dot-com re-sizing. The metrics for next-generation models are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a customer-defined, sexy plan of action for managing unplanned-for communities? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be scalable? We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to engage transparently than to upgrade interactively. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack CAE. The synergies factor is B2B, bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? We will implement the term "sticky". If you optimize dynamically, you may have to morph seamlessly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? We have come to know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to implement transparently. We always seize enterprise blog-based M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our portals but our capability to productize. We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to target holistically than to target intuitively. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our development but our ability to recontextualize. We will recontextualize the term "subscriber-defined". The aptitude to morph wirelessly leads to the capability to reinvent compellingly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will augment our power to evolve without lessening our capacity to optimize. If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to deploy proactively. The capacity to reintermediate extensibly leads to the capacity to syndicate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We usually deploy short-term iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks bloatware reports. We will intensify our ability to productize without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. Think virally-distributed, wireless. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to iterate proactively than to deploy efficiently. The end-to-end content factor is intuitive, sticky. The aptitude to reinvent virtually leads to the capacity to upgrade strategically. Quick: do you have a killer plan for regulating emerging eyeballs? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. We think that most customized portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"?