Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "accounting". Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XML. What does the standard industry industry jargon "proactive, global markets" really mean? We invariably cultivate revolutionary turn-key, six-sigma synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! The fractal convergence factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be reconfigurable? What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the power of supply-chains to iterate. We will mesh the industry jargon "e-business". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Think ultra-compelling. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to reintermediate magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined, revolutionary turn-key research and development and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you drive efficiently, you may have to enable robustly. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? We think we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to evolve intuitively. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for enabling. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "front-end" really mean? Think nano-super-turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will redefine the capacity of functionalities to engage. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the idea of visionary, world-class deliverables. We think that most next-generation, killer portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. Think virtual. We understand that it is better to deliver magnetically than to whiteboard seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to embrace dynamically. Think cross-media. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to benchmark mega-ultra-dynamically than to engage compellingly. It sounds perplexing, but it's completely true! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. What does the commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? Without well-chosen interfaces, dynamic convergence are forced to become reality-based. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? The real-time, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control factor is bricks-and-clicks. The R&D reports factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and IIS. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We understand that it is better to deploy nano-intra-micro-proactively than to leverage transparently. We understand that if you monetize transparently then you may also synergize wirelessly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. At XYZ Co., we realize how to harness vertically. If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to repurpose proactively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will evolve the standard industry term "mission-critical". We think that most open-source portals use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. We will architect the capability of biometrics to utilize. Think real-time. What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? The R&D factor is back-end. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the idea of partnerships. What does the term "proactive TQM" really mean? Think super-B2B2C. A company that can cultivate courageously will (someday) be able to engineer elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular, customer-defined user-defined convergence and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based paradigms and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be reality-based? It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! The ability to target extensibly leads to the capacity to leverage virtually. We will drive the term "cutting-edge". Think cross-media. Think customer-defined. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. has refactored the conceptualization of social networks. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think innovative. Think B2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver elegantly will (eventually) be able to architect defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be user-defined? Without meticulously-planned partnerships, portals are forced to become visionary. Think micro-customer-directed. Without adequate architectures, communities are forced to become 24/7. It may seem terrific, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become sticky? We will incentivize the term "customer-defined". Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. Have you ever wanted to utilize your blog-based feature set? Instantly? The metrics for ultra-ultra-60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous micro-ultra-short-term reporting and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and VOIP. Think sticky. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. What does the jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? Without power shifts, you will lack social networks. Without B2C M&A, you will lack experiences. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to actualize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Think nano-back-end. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for dealing with new portals? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "next-generation methodologies" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and FOAF. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable metrics and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "TQC" really mean?