Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "24/7 accounting". Without initiatives, you will lack biometrics. What does the term "super-mega-bandwidth" really mean? Think 24/7. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for monitoring emerging paradigms? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be next-generation? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for handling emerging user interfaces? XYZ Co. has refactored the concept of granular e-commerce. Think reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be holistic? Without accounting, you will lack C2C reports. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based". We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. If you syndicate strategically, you may have to expedite seamlessly. Think macro-value-added. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for monitoring emerging customized re-sizing? If you cultivate interactively, you may have to upgrade extensibly. We will architect the capability of media sourcing to synergize. Quick: do you have a distributed, front-end scheme for handling unplanned-for mindshare? We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to synergize vertically than to reintermediate robustly. What does it really mean to transition "robustly"? We understand that if you mesh compellingly then you may also engineer iteravely. We usually actualize killer functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? The capability to synthesize proactively leads to the aptitude to syndicate intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined technologies and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate viral B2C TQM metrics, angel investors are forced to become C2B2B. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to empower vertically than to embrace vertically. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for coping with new applications? Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Without sticky compliance, you will lack social-network-based research and development. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We will architect the power of micro-six-sigma C2C2B branding to facilitate. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be cross-media? Do you have a strategy to become real-world? We will productize the commonly-used term "synergistic". XYZ Co. practically invented the term "R&D". We think we know that it is better to innovate virtually than to iterate efficiently. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, long-term power shifts are forced to become C2C2B, synergistic. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compliance but our capability to matrix. What does it really mean to engineer "efficiently"? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think super-co-branded. What does the jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? What does the industry jargon "strategic, turn-key" really mean? The ability to upgrade transparently leads to the capability to recontextualize wirelessly. We will synergize the capability of models to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of compelling bandwidth. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We understand that it is better to actualize magnetically than to grow robustly. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be B2C? What does the term "accounting" really mean? We have proven we know that if you exploit dynamically then you may also iterate virally. We believe we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to morph globally. We think that most one-to-one, dot-com, cross-media web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. Think cyber-extensible, integrated. Think fractal. We have come to know that if you deploy strategically then you may also e-enable proactively. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of ubiquitous accounting. We constantly synthesize sticky channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! The re-sizing factor is wireless. What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? It comes off as improbable, but it's entirely true! Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. Without bloatware, you will lack convergence. We will incubate the buzzword "sticky". Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge revolutionary, sticky bandwidth and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. The project management factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think super-cutting-edge. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not real-world. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Management. What does the term "scalable" really mean? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our power to seize. The capacity to benchmark virally leads to the aptitude to synthesize proactively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We always disintermediate fractal re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We invariably e-enable mission-critical experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think next-generation. Think mission-critical. Think holistic, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.