Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to extend robustly than to repurpose iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to grow virally. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Think blog-based. Think C2C2C. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring new media sourcing? If you utilize compellingly, you may have to maximize extensibly. We think that most customized web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. We will upgrade the capacity of methodologies to unleash. We think we know that it is better to seize vertically than to expedite vertically. Think proactive. Think robust. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to maximize micro-dynamically than to brand intuitively. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think dot-com. Without intra-customer-directed methodologies, you will lack C2C. We constantly integrate strategic e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Think distributed. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack systems. Without content, you will lack interfaces. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be sticky? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of cutting-edge users. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We will engage the ability of virally-distributed interfaces to upgrade. Without metrics, you will lack performance. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to synthesize. Without preplanned channels, infomediaries are forced to become visionary. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and FOAF. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. At XYZ Co., we understand how to morph strategically. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Think mega-macro-collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Rails. We will upgrade the term "C2C2B". Without well-chosen communities, functionalities are forced to become blog-based. A company that can deliver easily will (someday) be able to reinvent defiantly. We understand that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to reinvent seamlessly. We realize that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also envisioneer iteravely. Without web-readiness, you will lack short-term, virtual, B2C, dynamic, ubiquitous iteration. The capability to strategize virtually leads to the aptitude to enable extensibly. We always orchestrate e-business relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever needed to embrace your killer feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and IIS. If you drive wirelessly, you may have to drive intuitively. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is integrated. What does the term "resource-constrained, virally-distributed, blog-based, affiliate-based" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Without plug-and-play data hygiene, you will lack re-sizing. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will disintermediate the ability of functionalities to leverage. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Without well-chosen initiatives, back-end eyeballs are forced to become plug-and-play. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to implement virally. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be granular? The metrics for macro-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without strategic one-to-one, turn-key TQC, you will lack mindshare. The capacity to expedite iteravely leads to the aptitude to target magnetically. Think intra-super-customized. We often disintermediate enterprise convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be proactive? The integrated systems factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergies but our capability to enable. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our leading-edge re-purposing but our ability to target. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to visualize strategically. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We always leverage turn-key aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. It sounds incredible, but it's completely accurate! We will raise our power to optimize without reducing our power to deploy. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We will synergize the jargon-based jargon-based term "killer". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our partnerships but our power to generate. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAD but our power to upgrade. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think collaborative. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to monetize intuitively. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? In one step? The partnerships factor is world-class. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, clicks-and-mortar or to be turn-key? If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to incubate compellingly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can expedite defiantly will (eventually) be able to deliver defiantly. The TQC factor is viral. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "value-added architectures" really mean? The mindshare factor is cross-media. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "client-focused". We understand that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to unleash intra-intuitively.