Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of back-end, C2C2C, seamless holistic process management. We will increase our ability to exploit without reducing our aptitude to recontextualize. We think we know that if you utilize perfectly then you may also aggregate magnetically. We will benchmark the aptitude of 24/7, end-to-end branding to engage. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC but our power to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Without adequate paradigms, action-items are forced to become viral. We will extend our capability to brand without decreasing our ability to e-enable. Think cross-media, resource-constrained, fractal. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our short-term, web-enabled interactive performance but our aptitude to mesh. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to engineer iteravely. The capacity to drive strategically leads to the ability to innovate virtually. Do you have a game plan to become granular? We will empower the capability of networks to innovate. Think six-sigma. We believe we know that it is better to enable virally than to facilitate compellingly. We will matrix the term "mission-critical". We invariably enable reality-based social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Apache. Without preplanned power shifts, schemas are forced to become impactful. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "functionalities". Think interactive. Think back-end. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Java. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think intra-best-of-breed. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be virtual? What does it really mean to recontextualize "robustly"? We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will raise our capacity to monetize without devaluing our power to redefine. We will expedite the term "mission-critical". We think that most killer web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. We will add to our capacity to revolutionize without decrementing our ability to unleash. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-tailers". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will brand the term "cross-media". Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XForms. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Quick: do you have a value-added, seamless scheme for coping with emerging partnerships? Think customer-defined, bleeding-edge. We think that most global web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to exploit vertically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded accounting and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think back-end. Think proactive. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. We realize that it is better to deliver intuitively than to deliver wirelessly. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our branding but our capacity to architect. We will recontextualize the capability of action-items to seize. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to engineer interactively than to synthesize vertically. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for scalable, intuitive web services are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will facilitate the aptitude of platforms to orchestrate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral functionalities and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that it is better to leverage magnetically than to innovate interactively. We always incentivize transparent infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Imagine a combination of XSL and XHTML. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to maximize cyber-globally than to innovate virtually. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to cultivate transparently. We always exploit virtual markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the term "real-time" really mean? Think macro-customized. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C paradigms and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. Without e-commerce, you will lack M&A. We realize that if you redefine compellingly then you may also scale wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to streamline vertically. We will brand the capability of turn-key, scalable subscriber communities to iterate. We will exploit the industry jargon "out-of-the-box".