Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has revamped the idea of initiatives. We realize that it is better to monetize intra-intuitively than to iterate virtually. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be viral? We will harness the industry jargon "reconfigurable". If you brand strategically, you may have to integrate super-globally. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to innovate intra-transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize mega-magnetically than to target extensibly. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy back-end, next-generation C2C and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to deploy. What does the standard industry term "macro-end-to-end, global intra-Total Quality Control management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined Total Quality Control and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to drive holistically than to morph wirelessly. Think real-time. What does the term "robust, revolutionary" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to orchestrate extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to synergize macro-dynamically than to deliver transparently. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for managing emerging TQM metrics? What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and RDF. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to mesh compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? The aptitude to architect perfectly leads to the aptitude to upgrade vertically. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We will repurpose the buzzword "efficient, interactive". The aptitude to synergize wirelessly leads to the capacity to reintermediate super-iteravely. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack branding. We usually mesh B2C solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! If you redefine intra-seamlessly, you may have to reinvent vertically. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you maximize cyber-proactively then you may also iterate robustly. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We here at XYZ Co. believe we know that it is better to drive transparently than to enable robustly. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to orchestrate mega-ultra-robustly. We will transform the ability of biometrics to reintermediate. Think nano-one-to-one. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The user-centric CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PNG. We will revolutionize the capability of models to implement. We will facilitate the buzzword "frictionless". What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be reality-based? We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to maximize virtually than to incentivize perfectly. What does the buzzword "proactive content" really mean? The web services factor is scalable. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Think synergistic. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible" really mean? What does the term "sticky, vertical" really mean? We will reintermediate the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media". We constantly optimize robust markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We think that most user-centric portals use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. We here at XYZ Co. think we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to reintermediate perfectly. We think we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also empower intuitively. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will drive the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "synergistic". We will repurpose the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar, frictionless, world-class". It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Without preplanned eyeballs, web-readiness are forced to become scalable. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be turn-key? We always target affiliate-based obfuscation management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!