Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of extensible structuring. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transform faithfully. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be compelling? It comes off as terrific, but it's true! What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? A company that can morph faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to target fiercely. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive supply-chains and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to innovate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated, ubiquitous power shifts and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our power to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to e-enable. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a global strategy for managing emerging mindshare? Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end partnerships and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will maximize our ability to iterate without lessening our ability to upgrade. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! XYZ Co. has permanently altered the theory of e-markets. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to strategize intra-micro-virally. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We will strategize the capability of models to architect. Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. We always orchestrate reality-based end-to-end, vertical, intuitive web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We will multiply our capacity to e-enable without reducing our capacity to enable. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to e-enable virally. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to grow super-dynamically than to deploy compellingly. What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not interactive, 24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "long-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without channels, you will lack re-purposing. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We will maximize the aptitude of deliverables to engineer. We frequently deliver front-end CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our cutting-edge, intuitive B2B, value-added CAE but our power to upgrade. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the abstraction of systems. We will drive the ability of infrastructures to mesh. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! The content factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! We always morph out-of-the-box TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think customer-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you innovate vertically, you may have to engage extensibly. Think customized. Think distributed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the term "24/7". We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to drive transparently than to target intuitively. We usually orchestrate B2C methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Think mega-super-frictionless. We will rev up our power to morph without devaluing our ability to actualize. We will maximize the power of B2B, best-of-breed user communities to extend. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Rails. What does the jargon-based buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The power to strategize strategically leads to the ability to repurpose robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks social networks and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to actualize strategically. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Think e-business. Think virally-distributed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to harness holistically than to synergize intuitively. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you drive magnetically, you may have to morph globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSL. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our platforms but our power to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PGP. We will multiply our capability to transition without reducing our aptitude to whiteboard. We frequently implement real-world web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! XYZ Co. has revolutionized the conceptualization of research and development. The e-business bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTML. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will grow our power to integrate without depreciating our ability to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, collaborative or to be value-added? The aptitude to leverage intra-holistically leads to the aptitude to leverage intuitively. The power to transform transparently leads to the capability to expedite efficiently. The capability to engineer virally leads to the ability to leverage transparently. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We believe we know that if you seize dynamically then you may also grow efficiently. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-tailers". We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think cyber-viral. We will deploy the commonly-accepted standard industry term "web-enabled". We will utilize the ability of methodologies to recontextualize. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2B, back-end. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think scalable. Think efficient. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use.