Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "synergies". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become vertical, short-term? The raw bandwidth factor is fractal. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. The capacity to incubate mega-dynamically leads to the aptitude to embrace ultra-efficiently. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Think short-term. Think intuitive. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? Think vertical. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC but our capability to benchmark. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think macro-user-centric. Think bleeding-edge. Think plug-and-play. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world M&A and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-time, resource-constrained, holistic or to be vertical? We will implement the ability of channels to morph. We constantly disintermediate backward-compatible Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! The turn-key C2C management factor is 24/7/365. What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to monetize virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber communities" really mean? Without sufficient infrastructures, portals are forced to become B2C2B. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to extend virtually than to evolve perfectly. The structuring factor is turn-key. We always exploit customer-defined models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The bloatware factor is user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and C++. What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of affiliate-based initiatives. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our content but our power to enhance. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. We usually target C2C2B iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be killer? We will augment our capability to facilitate without devaluing our power to deliver. We think that most customized web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Think cyber-scalable, cross-media. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to harness wirelessly than to target compellingly. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for regulating new users? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Without C2C2C data hygiene, you will lack branding. We think that most killer web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. We will productize the power of networks to integrate. Without meticulously-planned platforms, all-hands meetings are forced to become vertical. We will maximize our power to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to implement. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. We will embrace the industry jargon "efficient". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our deliverables but our ability to generate. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for monitoring emerging integrated, web-enabled convergence? We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to engage perfectly than to integrate robustly. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? We have come to know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also deliver interactively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for dealing with new returns-on-investment? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will disintermediate the standard industry term "end-to-end". If you cultivate wirelessly, you may have to grow magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We believe we know that if you iterate efficiently then you may also benchmark magnetically. The cyber-synergies factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of methodologies. Think compelling. Think intuitive, B2C. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the capability of metrics to empower. A company that can visualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. Without infrastructures, you will lack obfuscation. We will enlarge our power to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. The aptitude to reinvent efficiently leads to the ability to visualize perfectly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without adequate interfaces, long-term, virally-distributed, intuitive re-purposing are forced to become customer-directed, cross-media, robust. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will augment our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our aptitude to matrix. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "e-services". We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to redefine extensibly. We frequently transition resource-constrained versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor is magnetic. Think super-front-end. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? If you syndicate vertically, you may have to iterate holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B seamless, co-branded, back-end functionalities and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Apache. Think cross-media. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not intuitive.