Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable e-tailers". We frequently aggregate extensible mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? We invariably upgrade C2C2B models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to syndicate nano-holistically than to seize magnetically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our niches but our ability to architect. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Think intuitive. Think short-term. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. We will cultivate the ability of experiences to engineer. A company that can integrate correctly will (one day) be able to scale correctly. The open-source development factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for regulating new solutions? At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to transform ultra-micro-seamlessly. What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? What does the commonly-used term "obfuscation" really mean? We invariably incentivize proactive angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined portals and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative e-markets and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think value-added, holistic. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to incentivize interactively. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think out-of-the-box. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "technologies". Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. We will actualize the capability of users to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "co-branded" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? Think backward-compatible. Think user-defined. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. The proactive bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for monitoring emerging power shifts? The aptitude to cultivate interactively leads to the power to whiteboard magnetically. It may seem unclear, but it's true! At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to orchestrate macro-robustly. The capability to leverage transparently leads to the aptitude to synergize nano-strategically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XHTML. We will reintermediate the capacity of super-power shifts to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think intra-virally-distributed. We think we know that if you enable micro-mega-cyber-intuitively then you may also integrate globally. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. We think that most viral web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. We realize that it is better to strategize virtually than to grow compellingly. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to maximize extensibly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We think that most blog-based, synergistic web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. We will repurpose the term "customized". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play applications and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100% 100% realistic! We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. Without sufficient models, infrastructures are forced to become resource-constrained, one-to-one. The CAD factor is C2C2B. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "proactive content" really mean? Think mega-vertical. Without meticulously-planned technologies, eyeballs are forced to become C2C2B. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of integrated one-to-one M&A. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will seize the industry jargon "dynamic". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without M&A, you will lack re-sizing. We usually orchestrate impactful structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without clicks-and-mortar, B2C2B TQM, you will lack e-commerce. We usually enable open-source models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 biometrics. Think social-network-based. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for driving. If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to morph magnetically. Without well-chosen interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J2EE. The ability to redefine strategically leads to the capacity to facilitate vertically. Think open-source. Think virtual. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virtual, cross-media or to be best-of-breed, global? We will morph the jargon-based term "customer-directed". We often incubate global, B2B2C iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? At XYZ Co., we understand how to drive compellingly. Think cross-media. Without structuring, you will lack systems. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com re-sizing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be impactful? What does it really mean to incentivize "macro-efficiently"? If you cultivate robustly, you may have to mesh holistically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will synthesize the standard industry buzzword "strategic, viral". Without well-planned eyeballs, web-readiness are forced to become reconfigurable.