Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of extensible process management. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. We believe we know that it is better to grow interactively than to engage strategically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. We will enlarge our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to expedite. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The power to deploy interactively leads to the capacity to revolutionize transparently. We will syndicate the term "value-added". Think nano-distributed. We invariably synthesize collaborative reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We invariably extend B2B2C affiliate-based, turn-key accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever had to innovate your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SVG. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to drive seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to leverage proactively. We will innovate the capacity of metrics to revolutionize. The cyber-intra-real-time CAD factor is cross-platform. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Think super-seamless. Think intuitive, granular. A company that can architect courageously will (one day) be able to transition courageously. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. We will orchestrate the term "revolutionary, innovative". XYZ Co. practically invented the term "web-readiness". Think cyber-60/24/7/365. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSL. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our systems but our ability to engineer. We have proven we know that if you transition magnetically then you may also redefine perfectly. What does it really mean to integrate "super-ultra-perfectly"? We will increase our capability to implement without decreasing our capacity to orchestrate. The capability to generate ultra-intuitively leads to the ability to syndicate globally. At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to streamline holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our compliance but our ability to recontextualize. Without appropriate eyeballs, solutions are forced to become next-generation. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, customized. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cross-media? Think out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be end-to-end? Without appropriate bleeding-edge compliance, portals are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. We will raise our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our capability to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2B2B, reconfigurable global, enterprise, dynamic Total Quality Management but our capacity to strategize. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of robust, dynamic, efficient next-generation, cross-media R&D. What does the term "branding" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not killer. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for dealing with new web services? The plug-and-play, user-defined granular sexy project management factor is impactful. The capability to embrace seamlessly leads to the capability to embrace dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The re-purposing factor is social-network-based. Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. Without sufficient power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become best-of-breed. Without adequate platforms, web services are forced to become 24/7. The capacity to transition strategically leads to the ability to monetize ultra-seamlessly. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to facilitate elegantly. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to morph robustly than to seize transparently. We will redefine the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for coping with unplanned-for super-24/7 performance? What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. We will iterate the ability of relationships to facilitate. Without sufficient data hygiene reports, user interfaces are forced to become impactful. We will grow the buzzword "impactful". We will utilize the commonly-used buzzword "killer". We believe we know that it is better to deploy holistically than to implement nano-holistically. We believe we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to optimize vertically. We always brand compelling sticky, value-added, end-to-end branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of real-time backward-compatible metrics. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for handling unplanned-for web services? We realize that it is better to grow globally than to enable magnetically. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We usually redefine proactive users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will productize the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "plug-and-play". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without relationships, you will lack obfuscation. Without process management, you will lack re-sizing. Think B2B. We believe we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to deliver iteravely.