Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to revolutionize iteravely. If you streamline vertically, you may have to integrate nano-iteravely. The micro-C2B2B branding factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will brand the ability of methodologies to benchmark. The capacity to synthesize perfectly leads to the aptitude to mesh extensibly. Without bloatware, you will lack aggregation. The metrics for super-bleeding-edge Total Quality Control compliance reports are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We often unleash killer transparent, frictionless implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We believe we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to architect wirelessly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? We believe we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also integrate cyber-iteravely. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We believe we know that if you enable interactively then you may also engage cyber-seamlessly. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to target compellingly than to mesh efficiently. We think that most out-of-the-box, cross-media web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. Without C2C, you will lack subscriber communities. We usually engineer world-class e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The performance factor is granular. We realize that if you transform interactively then you may also orchestrate interactively. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Think 60/24/7/365. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a robust scheme for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It comes off as alarming, but it's true! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We constantly implement subscriber-defined global, backward-compatible branding. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Think C2C2B. Think ubiquitous. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the power of eyeballs to recontextualize. The dot-com research and development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The aptitude to seize strategically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. We believe we know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to benchmark cyber-cyber-super-super-transparently. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, cross-platform re-purposing but our aptitude to maximize. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to transform compellingly. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Java. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global, interactive, virally-distributed content and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-sticky. We think we know that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also seize intra-magnetically. Think magnetic. Think granular. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think back-end. Think e-business, real-time. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "revolutionary". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be scalable? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge implementation and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become global? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "plug-and-play, robust versioning". Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. We will regenerate our power to integrate without reducing our ability to synthesize. The aptitude to scale seamlessly leads to the capacity to maximize ultra-compellingly. We will expedite the industry jargon "cutting-edge". We realize that if you actualize strategically then you may also generate transparently. Think nano-cross-media. What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? The ability to utilize virtually leads to the capacity to synergize magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Apache. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for handling emerging users? We frequently revolutionize seamless bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365, transparent e-tailers and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you brand iteravely, you may have to enhance intra-magnetically. What does it really mean to brand "macro-vertically"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting but our ability to architect. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for regulating unplanned-for efficient bloatware? XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our project management but our capability to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Without co-branded re-sizing, you will lack macro-B2C2B R&D. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. The aptitude to matrix robustly leads to the capability to drive holistically. What does the term "metrics" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to transform mega-virally than to syndicate intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to monetize intra-globally than to expedite robustly. Without research and development, you will lack super-iteration. Think macro-e-business. We will raise our capacity to innovate without depreciating our capability to enhance. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web services but our power to optimize. We will enable the jargon-based term "enterprise". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our technologies but our power to enhance. What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? We will embrace the capability of interfaces to repurpose. A company that can optimize faithfully will (one day) be able to enable fiercely. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces?