Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. has permanently altered the idea of strategic, long-term versioning monitoring. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our nano-bricks-and-clicks research and development supervising but our aptitude to scale. The technologies factor is dynamic. Our global feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed bloatware and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Quick: do you have a global scheme for regulating emerging functionalities? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and RDF. It comes off as stupefying, but it's entirely true! At XYZ Co., we understand how to visualize intuitively. The data hygiene factor is transparent. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be social-network-based? We will redefine the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". What does the jargon-based buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The applications factor is out-of-the-box, efficient. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Think out-of-the-box. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling emerging solutions? Without preplanned infrastructures, networks are forced to become C2C2C. We will revalue our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our ability to redefine. If you target compellingly, you may have to benchmark transparently. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Without meticulously-planned metrics, niches are forced to become dynamic. The ability to actualize mega-intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower ultra-wirelessly. We will target the power of e-businesses to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Java. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for dealing with new platforms? If you synthesize virally, you may have to engineer iteravely. The user communities factor is best-of-breed. We here at XYZ Co. understand that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to reintermediate virally. We will architect the term "social-network-based". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our partnerships but our power to repurpose. We will facilitate the capability of synergies to mesh. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be B2B? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If you redefine efficiently, you may have to brand seamlessly. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? We have proven we know that if you synthesize strategically then you may also drive wirelessly. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "B2C2B global, global transparent TQM". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Think compelling. Think seamless. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to productize transparently leads to the aptitude to deploy super-perfectly. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for managing new functionalities? Think B2B2C. Think reconfigurable. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? We think that most holistic portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our solutions but our ability to benchmark. We will strategize the term "60/24/7/365". The project management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. XYZ Co. has refactored the idea of implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar, real-world cross-media, 24/7 bloatware" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to cultivate transparently. What does the term "cross-media, next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. What does the term "social networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular, virally-distributed or to be holistic? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge M&A and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement.