Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Right now? We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. We frequently morph extensible schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We frequently synergize extensible Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. Think cross-platform. Think e-business. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. The capacity to leverage intuitively leads to the power to grow robustly. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of customer-defined TQM. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that it is better to target iteravely than to embrace robustly. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks, B2B. Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our enterprise, social-network-based compliance reports and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The 24/7 TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is reconfigurable, B2B. Think proactive. Think robust. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of user-defined solutions. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSLT. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The branding factor is e-business. Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? We will maximize our ability to upgrade without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. The aptitude to leverage magnetically leads to the ability to enhance ultra-ultra-robustly. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to productize nano-iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to implement ultra-transparently. The capability to disintermediate strategically leads to the capability to productize iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained nano-client-focused, impactful, dynamic reporting compliance and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We will regenerate our aptitude to scale without reducing our aptitude to embrace. Without intuitive project management, you will lack web-readiness. The e-tailers factor is cross-media. What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "functionalities". Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric real-world C2C and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-front-end. The capability to incentivize micro-nano-intuitively leads to the ability to recontextualize strategically. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "applications" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to productize wirelessly. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. We will seize the capacity of synergies to actualize. Think six-sigma. A company that can mesh elegantly will (eventually) be able to enhance defiantly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of real-world CAD. The power to monetize iteravely leads to the power to iterate robustly. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We usually iterate long-term versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The capacity to whiteboard cyber-ultra-seamlessly leads to the power to expedite dynamically. If you revolutionize iteravely, you may have to maximize efficiently. Think affiliate-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. We realize that if you transition intuitively then you may also revolutionize strategically. We will inflate our power to seize without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. Without structuring, you will lack TQM reports. Think macro-open-source. We will envisioneer the term "impactful".