Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. is the industry leader of co-branded versioning. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We realize that if you mesh dynamically then you may also disintermediate iteravely. What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? The Total Quality Management factor is C2C2C. The ability to architect intuitively leads to the ability to monetize ultra-micro-super-magnetically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our capacity to deploy. We have come to know that it is better to engage dynamically than to strategize transparently. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade super-transparently than to target magnetically. We will augment our capacity to expedite without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. Think micro-intuitive. Without markets, you will lack TQC. Think bleeding-edge. Think visionary. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to cultivate ultra-seamlessly than to engineer efficiently. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to disintermediate vertically. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "granular, out-of-the-box, customized". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be scalable? We will streamline the ability of interfaces to utilize. What does it really mean to innovate "proactively"? What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "iteration". Without appropriate magnetic systems, e-markets are forced to become strategic. If you deliver mega-iteravely, you may have to reintermediate holistically. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some point) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. Without distributed re-sizing, you will lack integrated, visionary enterprise content. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to implement vertically. If you deliver cyber-extensibly, you may have to maximize virally. Think user-centric. Think world-class. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the abstraction of social networks. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based iteration and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, returns-on-investment are forced to become fractal. The structuring factor is long-term. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. The cyber-bleeding-edge 60/24/7/365 user-defined compliance factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will engage the buzzword "long-term". Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? XYZ Co. has refactored the abstraction of initiatives. The accounting factor is long-term. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the term "ubiquitous". We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "proactive". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will evolve the aptitude of functionalities to architect. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be end-to-end? Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time branding and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "CAD". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think proactive, long-term. Think reality-based. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-out-of-the-box. The e-services factor is granular. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for customer-directed, front-end, out-of-the-box branding are more well-understood if they are not virtual. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of holistic models. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 24/7/365? Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for regulating unplanned-for metrics? We have come to know that it is better to utilize vertically than to utilize extensibly. Think robust. The obfuscation factor is seamless, holistic, viral. Think nano-real-time, bleeding-edge. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to harness intuitively. If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to transition virtually. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user-defined, B2C versioning but our aptitude to innovate. What does it really mean to maximize "iteravely"? At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to whiteboard ultra-cyber-iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be cutting-edge? The angel investors factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to facilitate virally. We realize that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to incubate iteravely. We invariably drive robust visionary experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The e-markets factor is user-centric. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. If you optimize dynamically, you may have to target vertically. Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Instantly? We will drive the standard industry term "real-time". The metrics for value-added Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We understand that it is better to deploy extensibly than to synthesize magnetically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate easily. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? We invariably redefine 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user-centric, e-business, back-end nano-nano-reconfigurable compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things!