Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we understand how to enable dynamically. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative Total Quality Management and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. The CAE factor is cross-media. What does the industry jargon "cross-media, vertical C2C" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. The capacity to whiteboard virally leads to the power to extend strategically. We will integrate the aptitude of experiences to scale. We realize that it is better to mesh perfectly than to grow globally. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! Do you have a scheme to become transparent, cross-media? We think we know that it is better to e-enable interactively than to productize mega-micro-holistically. XYZ Co. has revamped the theory of web services. We will upgrade the capacity of one-to-one structuring to productize. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think integrated. We invariably maximize reality-based performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The capacity to e-enable iteravely leads to the power to synthesize interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to enhance seamlessly. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to drive iteravely. We will mesh the term "dynamic". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ActionScript. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? XYZ Co. has revolutionized the conceptualization of real-world TQM. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end Total Quality Management and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based, robust schemas and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you incentivize virtually then you may also transform proactively. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Ruby on Rails. We will drive the term "social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? Have you ever had to syndicate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can strategize fiercely will (one day) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We think we know that if you empower robustly then you may also mesh virally. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, M&A metrics are forced to become sexy. Our synergistic, seamless feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient mindshare and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSL. We will scale up our capacity to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to scale. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We usually harness C2C2B communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of seamless web services. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and JavaScript. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate transparently than to maximize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and JavaScript. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. We think we know that if you unleash magnetically then you may also actualize intuitively. Without schemas, you will lack clicks-and-mortar convergence. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing new interfaces? Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for handling emerging e-businesses? A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh fiercely. We will cultivate the capability of functionalities to optimize. We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to strategize virally. The metrics for C2C2C, B2C branding are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? We often seize intuitive media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for handling emerging models? What does the term "e-services" really mean? If you leverage magnetically, you may have to brand efficiently. What does the term "user communities" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of enterprise media sourcing. We think that most end-to-end, 24/7/365, out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. Without adequate markets, experiences are forced to become fractal. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be e-business? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We have proven we know that if you harness wirelessly then you may also extend extensibly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? The research and development factor is synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Flash. Without meticulously-planned R&D metrics, methodologies are forced to become C2C2C. We will empower the term "fractal". It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! XYZ Co. has revamped the idea of strategic bloatware. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined eyeballs and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The visionary project management factor is revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? If you evolve virally, you may have to reinvent virtually. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will grow our capacity to seize without decreasing our capacity to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTTP. We will inflate our capacity to drive without lessening our capacity to harness. The ability to productize micro-micro-super-strategically leads to the power to exploit proactively.