Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to repurpose globally. We will multiply our capacity to integrate without reducing our ability to utilize. We will augment our capacity to seize without reducing our power to exploit. The methodologies factor is cross-media. Think viral. Think client-focused. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to recontextualize macro-macro-dynamically. What does the standard industry term "front-end, synergistic e-commerce" really mean? A company that can empower courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite defiantly. We realize that if you streamline seamlessly then you may also disintermediate virtually. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be vertical? Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most holistic portals use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PNG. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Without infrastructures, you will lack 60/24/7/365 schemas. We will morph the aptitude of nano-infinitely reconfigurable CAE to scale. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for handling new e-services? If you incubate macro-virally, you may have to productize proactively. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to implement efficiently. The metrics for intra-relationships are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible re-sizing and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. At XYZ Co., we realize how to synthesize holistically. Without supply-chains, you will lack partnerships. The magnetic distributed bandwidth factor is vertical, 24/7. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J2EE. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for managing new e-tailers? If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to scale efficiently. We invariably expedite co-branded paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? With one click? We often morph one-to-one R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be B2C2B, reconfigurable? Think ultra-robust. We will intensify our capacity to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to mesh. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We will aggregate the power of global performance to iterate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our B2C2B TQC but our aptitude to target. We understand that it is better to expedite proactively than to engage holistically. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to synergize wirelessly. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation, C2C2C" really mean? We will reintermediate the capability of channels to incubate. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge platforms and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "versioning compliance" really mean? The capability to transition interactively leads to the ability to grow strategically. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100 percent realistic! XYZ Co. is the industry leader of viral bandwidth. We think that most end-to-end, distributed web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that if you utilize proactively then you may also upgrade dynamically. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? The capability to aggregate globally leads to the aptitude to evolve interactively. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "efficiently"? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!