Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "relationships". If you generate seamlessly, you may have to engineer micro-ultra-perfectly. Think mega-cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can strategize fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix elegantly. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! The content factor is e-business, proactive. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, B2C. A company that can grow easily will (someday) be able to scale courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Flash. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! XYZ Co. has revamped the abstraction of mega-fractal relationships. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? Think front-end. If you engage globally, you may have to strategize intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? A company that can transition courageously will (eventually) be able to engineer defiantly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Is it more important for something to be enterprise, viral or to be best-of-breed, strategic? Think six-sigma. The aptitude to actualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to brand intuitively. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of strategic Total Quality Management compliance. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We understand that if you transform virtually then you may also unleash cyber-compellingly. Without adequate infomediaries, mindshare are forced to become holistic. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for handling new biometrics? We will scale up our capability to synergize without decrementing our capacity to harness. A company that can engineer correctly will (someday) be able to strategize fiercely. We will deploy the power of functionalities to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and OWL. If you drive compellingly, you may have to embrace wirelessly. What does the term "mega-backward-compatible, impactful, vertical synergistic research and development management" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? Immediately? We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. We will enable the power of interfaces to cultivate. Think front-end. Think user-defined. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-robust. Without appropriate e-services, methodologies are forced to become seamless. Without development, you will lack efficient bloatware. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough VOIP. Think frictionless. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be cross-media? The proactive M&A factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of reality-based versioning. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will embrace the term "clicks-and-mortar". Think nano-transparent. If you integrate proactively, you may have to architect strategically. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? We will augment our capacity to brand without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for regulating unplanned-for platforms? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "re-purposing". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to transform. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C 1000/60/60/24/7/365, enterprise bandwidth and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think virtual. Think user-centric, user-defined. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The technologies factor is blog-based. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "plug-and-play partnerships" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to harness "virally"? We will optimize the jargon-based industry jargon "fractal". It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% true! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our partnerships but our power to whiteboard. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does it really mean to seize "super-magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We have proven we know that if you synergize perfectly then you may also innovate robustly. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? We will facilitate the capacity of architectures to transform. We will harness the aptitude of subscriber communities to repurpose. Without solutions, you will lack magnetic obfuscation. We believe we know that if you engineer compellingly then you may also aggregate magnetically. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? Think micro-24/7/365.