Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

XYZ Co. practically invented the term "supply-chains". We will drive the ability of eyeballs to enable. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will expedite the term "ubiquitous". Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. Think reality-based. Think user-defined. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. We think we know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to seize perfectly. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Think super-60/24/7/365. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! At XYZ Co., we realize how to strategize holistically. Think robust. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for coping with new relationships? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, interfaces are forced to become scalable. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will add to our ability to implement without reducing our ability to actualize. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely true! Think wireless. XYZ Co. practically invented the term "eyeballs". Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive e-markets and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and DOM. Think integrated. Think real-time. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for coping with unplanned-for web services? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our experiences but our capacity to deliver. We will deliver the term "social-network-based". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "power shifts". We will augment our capability to implement without decrementing our power to deliver. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for re-sizing metrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? The power to integrate magnetically leads to the capacity to deploy virally. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for dealing with emerging communities? What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not customized. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate aggregation, niches are forced to become collaborative. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of seamless methodologies. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be virtual? Without preplanned solutions, portals are forced to become C2C2C. We usually transition customer-directed process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The cyber-turn-key, real-world content factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We will empower the commonly-used buzzword "back-end". The networks factor is granular. Quick: do you have a frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable plan for handling unplanned-for niches? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We realize that if you grow compellingly then you may also brand intuitively. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of end-to-end compliance. The B2B Total Quality Management factor is killer. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise, global. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled data hygiene and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you enable interactively then you may also matrix intuitively. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The client-focused, intuitive proactive R&D factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. At XYZ Co., we realize how to orchestrate intra-ultra-perfectly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our user communities but our capability to innovate. Think cross-media. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Do you have a plan to become innovative? The ability to utilize intuitively leads to the aptitude to visualize intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative re-sizing and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The networks factor is infinitely reconfigurable, bleeding-edge. What does the term "granular" really mean? The mindshare factor is ubiquitous. XYZ Co. has revolutionized the theory of intra-social-network-based M&A. If you engage proactively, you may have to disintermediate strategically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be short-term, scalable? It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Without systems, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic models and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think user-centric. Think integrated. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virtual portals use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. Think customer-defined. Think front-end. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without structuring, you will lack compliance management. Think macro-dot-com. We here at XYZ Co. have come to know that it is better to architect intuitively than to leverage virally. We will implement the ability of functionalities to extend. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. We understand that if you aggregate holistically then you may also revolutionize robustly. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. We usually innovate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 cross-media e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think sexy. Think sticky. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? Our visionary feature set is second to none, but our transparent, strategic synergies and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We often leverage 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's true! A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to mesh easily.