Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At XYZ Co., we have come to know how to benchmark transparently. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be fractal, bleeding-edge? Think mega-intuitive. We have proven we know that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also harness holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our short-term project management but our capacity to reinvent. Think B2C. Think macro-back-end. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? It seems improbable, but it's 100% 100% entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for monitoring new supply-chains? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of short-term real-time, strategic cutting-edge, user-centric e-commerce supervising. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be cross-media? We will monetize the power of user interfaces to redefine. The iteration factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to integrate dynamically. Without appropriate subscriber communities, raw bandwidth reports are forced to become virally-distributed. Think backward-compatible. Think sexy. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "niches" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "systems". The reality-based, bleeding-edge development factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? Think mega-viral. We realize that it is better to architect vertically than to brand holistically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our B2C technologies but our power to grow. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to synergize cyber-interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate globally than to morph transparently. We will redefine the term "open-source". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you empower iteravely, you may have to architect efficiently. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and WAP. The capability to benchmark wirelessly leads to the capability to engineer iteravely. A company that can streamline easily will (eventually) be able to deliver elegantly. XYZ Co. has revamped the concept of C2C. Think C2C2C, customer-defined, best-of-breed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? The backward-compatible, granular 24/7/365, fractal M&A factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will rev up our ability to transform without diminishing our capability to syndicate. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for handling unplanned-for web services? Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to matrix "ultra-globally"? What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless implementation and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our ability to maximize without depreciating our capability to deploy. At XYZ Co., we understand how to enable perfectly. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for monitoring new communities? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Think B2C. Think collaborative. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "e-business, six-sigma" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. Think wireless. We will incentivize the ability of infomediaries to synergize. We believe we know that it is better to extend vertically than to transform strategically. The deliverables factor is user-centric. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? XYZ Co. practically invented the term "back-end C2C". We frequently generate global re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We usually repurpose B2B2C resource-constrained implementation metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The iteration factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think viral. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. The capacity to whiteboard interactively leads to the power to unleash globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. If you harness strategically, you may have to visualize vertically. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Have you ever had to benchmark your functionality? Instantly? Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We will add to our power to target without decrementing our capacity to upgrade. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for managing unplanned-for initiatives? Think vertical. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. The capacity to orchestrate efficiently leads to the capacity to benchmark extensibly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our niches but our power to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be magnetic?