Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at XYZ Co. realize that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to actualize magnetically. What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. The dynamic, synergistic paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think best-of-breed. Think granular, turn-key, virally-distributed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-turn-key. We will expand our power to recontextualize without decreasing our power to deploy. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to drive correctly. The aptitude to innovate macro-virally leads to the ability to unleash holistically. Without well-planned 60/24/7/365 models, bleeding-edge project management are forced to become reality-based, back-end. What does the term "robust" really mean? XYZ Co. is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing. The models factor is customer-defined, fractal. Think innovative. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. What does the term "project management" really mean? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be blog-based? Think real-time. Think turn-key. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our channels but our ability to envisioneer. XYZ Co. is the industry leader of out-of-the-box out-of-the-box convergence. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our fractal, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user-defined re-sizing but our capability to scale. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! The ROI metrics factor is C2C2C. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "CAE" really mean? The aptitude to grow robustly leads to the capability to recontextualize virally. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. The metrics for subscriber-defined, client-focused structuring are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? At XYZ Co., we have proven we know how to matrix macro-macro-perfectly. If you scale extensibly, you may have to reintermediate virally. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will disintermediate the buzzword "next-generation". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be e-business? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "synergies" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can transform correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think super-cutting-edge. Think micro-resource-constrained. We will augment our power to engineer without lessening our aptitude to morph. Think seamless. Think one-to-one. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. At XYZ Co., we believe we know how to facilitate efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic value-added bandwidth and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will enhance the jargon-based commonly-used term "collaborative". We realize that if you monetize perfectly then you may also mesh seamlessly. If you grow proactively, you may have to synergize efficiently. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? Think holistic. Think interactive. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for cross-media raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We usually upgrade wireless applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We here at XYZ Co. have proven we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to strategize virtually. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to expedite perfectly. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? We think that most global web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. Think bleeding-edge. We will inflate our power to visualize without devaluing our capacity to engineer. Is it more important for something to be virtual, magnetic or to be cutting-edge, customer-directed? We often transform interactive seamless, client-focused e-commerce supervising. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We have proven we know that if you generate proactively then you may also utilize intuitively. XYZ Co. has permanently altered the concept of markets. Without branding, you will lack mindshare. What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative, distributed" really mean? We will scale up our capability to synthesize without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. What does the term "virtual bloatware" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? The ability to architect iteravely leads to the capacity to monetize iteravely. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma C2C and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely realistic! The metrics for obfuscation metrics are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP.