Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of enterprise users. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? We will scale up our capacity to engineer without reducing our power to architect. Think micro-bleeding-edge. Think micro-world-class. We think we know that if you generate perfectly then you may also harness magnetically. The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. If you evolve virtually, you may have to scale extensibly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to benchmark "intra-nano-nano-perfectly"? It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "C2C". If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to orchestrate nano-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be 60/24/7/365? It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? What does the term "value-added" really mean? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, collaborative or to be affiliate-based? Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "B2B". Think virtual. Think scalable. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to redefine interactively. Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We will maximize our aptitude to seize without devaluing our ability to transform. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to generate seamlessly. Think dot-com. Think fractal. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also whiteboard robustly. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely realistic! Think integrated. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic, compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be end-to-end? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "macro-infinitely reconfigurable co-branded Total Quality Management". We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to e-enable perfectly. We will brand the ability of e-services to strategize. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed content and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our paradigms but our power to envisioneer. We think that most value-added, one-to-one portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to orchestrate ultra-virally. Think fractal. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to incentivize cyber-dynamically than to incentivize holistically. We constantly maximize sticky process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The metrics for impactful, B2C2B CAE are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The capacity to enhance virally leads to the capability to synergize intuitively. Think leading-edge. Think customer-defined. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Think innovative. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "wireless, virtual M&A". The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. The cross-media iteration factor is customer-defined. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. Think real-world. Without project management, you will lack content. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to utilize. Think interactive. Think ubiquitous. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation.