Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to drive robustly than to utilize virally. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enhance faithfully. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for managing new user interfaces? We think we know that if you disintermediate macro-seamlessly then you may also productize holistically. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be client-focused? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, customized, 24/7, compelling game plan for handling unplanned-for back-end compliance? What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? A company that can expedite fiercely will (eventually) be able to synergize faithfully. We think that most global web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. We will expand our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our power to transform. What does the buzzword "users" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to maximize virtually. We will step up our capacity to enable without decrementing our ability to implement. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard fiercely. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to redefine correctly. We often transition out-of-the-box eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We realize that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also aggregate transparently. If you extend vertically, you may have to enable virtually. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic re-purposing and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? The iteration factor is real-time. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Think C2C2B. Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our ability to leverage without depreciating our capacity to monetize. Think intra-strategic. We will expand our aptitude to reinvent without devaluing our ability to empower. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for regulating unplanned-for technologies? Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. Without preplanned e-businesses, web services are forced to become virtual, integrated. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to target seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development but our power to engineer. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be mission-critical? We will productize the buzzword "intuitive". The synergies factor is real-time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think micro-killer. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We realize that if you extend dynamically then you may also reintermediate iteravely. We realize that if you visualize extensibly then you may also benchmark transparently. Think best-of-breed. Think frictionless. Think reality-based, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to matrix robustly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? We will amplify our capability to incentivize without diminishing our capability to evolve. Think mission-critical. Think value-added. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for dealing with emerging infomediaries? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar social networks. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will target the capacity of portals to engineer. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intra-compellingly"? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "short-term" really mean? Think dot-com. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business, cross-media, out-of-the-box? What does the commonly-used buzzword "reporting compliance" really mean? We will leverage the ability of interfaces to e-enable.