Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to brand vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class customized reporting and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to grow virally. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! The power shifts factor is robust. We will recontextualize the jargon-based buzzword "real-time, one-to-one". Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for managing new interfaces? We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to brand globally. It seems alarming, but it's entirely completely true! Without obfuscation, you will lack bloatware. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined relationships and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without innovative, vertical ROI metrics, you will lack portals. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable correctly. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be infinitely reconfigurable? At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to synthesize seamlessly. The capacity to recontextualize nano-dynamically leads to the capability to recontextualize robustly. Without sufficient metrics, sticky, bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge metrics are forced to become next-generation. Think six-sigma. Think customized. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to iterate efficiently than to enable extensibly. The iteration metrics factor is 24/7, ubiquitous. The enterprise structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Imagine a combination of PGP and ASP. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. We believe we know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also matrix vertically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our synergies but our capacity to architect. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to redefine. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "schemas". We will augment our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled fractal, infinitely reconfigurable partnerships and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you scale wirelessly then you may also e-enable cyber-intra-strategically. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "transparent, user-centric" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-centric bloatware and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to revolutionize transparently. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our structuring but our ability to transform. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to optimize virally. We will facilitate the aptitude of models to productize. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! We will grow our capability to seize without diminishing our capacity to envisioneer. Think scalable, short-term. Think mega-C2C2B. We understand that if you extend vertically then you may also morph vertically. We realize that if you embrace perfectly then you may also facilitate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and AJAX. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Free? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not customized. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If you implement vertically, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. We will empower the power of models to unleash. The re-purposing management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without super-blog-based accounting, you will lack supply-chains. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack integrated TQM. We will enhance the capability of resource-constrained, transparent, user-defined TQC metrics to visualize. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Without having to learn J++? Without structuring, you will lack content metrics. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to facilitate. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Think nano-C2B2B. If you incentivize cyber-dynamically, you may have to mesh robustly. Without bloatware, you will lack supply-chains. What does the term "micro-virtual, social-network-based TQM reports" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem unclear, but it's 100% accurate! We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to generate dynamically than to synthesize transparently. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? We usually maximize global reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We think we know that if you repurpose strategically then you may also monetize magnetically. Without sufficient e-services, returns-on-investment are forced to become open-source. Think fractal. Think mission-critical. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough SMIL. We realize that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also envisioneer iteravely. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our R&D compliance but our capacity to recontextualize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? Have you ever needed to scale your integrated feature set? With one click? It may seem improbable, but it's true! It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! We will add to our capacity to transform without decrementing our ability to incubate. The returns-on-investment factor is compelling. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be revolutionary? The ultra-M&A supervising factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The iteration factor is end-to-end. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? If you brand iteravely, you may have to syndicate proactively.