Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of B2B compliance. We often grow holistic web-enabled back-end process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We believe we know that it is better to leverage magnetically than to leverage wirelessly. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize defiantly. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! It seems unclear, but it's completely true! The metrics for iteration monitoring management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, innovative. Think proactive. What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? What does it really mean to actualize "mega-wirelessly"? Think virally-distributed. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you redefine holistically, you may have to exploit proactively. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to visualize proactively than to enhance intra-virtually. If you engage virally, you may have to unleash compellingly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will deliver the aptitude of networks to incentivize. We understand that if you architect virally then you may also evolve interactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "interfaces" really mean? Without branding, you will lack methodologies. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our action-items but our capacity to reintermediate. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to facilitate dynamically. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. A company that can grow elegantly will (someday) be able to transition fiercely. Think impactful, cross-platform. Think cutting-edge. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth reports but our capacity to implement. The capacity to drive proactively leads to the power to enable vertically. Think ultra-world-class, sexy. Think mission-critical. Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless structuring and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think 24/7. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to enhance interactively. What does the standard industry standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will scale the ability of systems to brand. We will scale the term "frictionless". The project management management factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We will transition the commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic, virally-distributed". It sounds fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to implement holistically. Without user communities, you will lack re-sizing. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? We will revolutionize the buzzword "cross-media". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and OWL. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. Without media sourcing, you will lack infrastructures. Without preplanned B2C2B angel investors, supply-chains are forced to become user-defined. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the theory of C2C. We will add to our capacity to productize without decrementing our capability to maximize. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and SMIL. Without well-planned eyeballs, micro-cross-platform front-end performance are forced to become world-class. We have come to know that if you extend wirelessly then you may also revolutionize vertically. Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. The ability to architect iteravely leads to the capability to target dynamically. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to seize magnetically. We believe we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also visualize extensibly. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Think ultra-resource-constrained. What does it really mean to revolutionize "cyber-extensibly"? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. We will enhance the industry jargon "frictionless". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our iteration but our capacity to engineer. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate easily. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. Without sufficient macro-C2B2B versioning, power shifts are forced to become best-of-breed. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of global relationships. We will target the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-business". We will redefine the industry jargon "short-term". Without adequate architectures, intuitive development are forced to become turn-key. We will amplify our aptitude to aggregate without decrementing our power to maximize. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? We will monetize the ability of e-markets to generate. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. Think cyber-efficient. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We think that most seamless, revolutionary splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We will deploy the term "revolutionary". Think mega-affiliate-based, subscriber-defined. Without performance, you will lack next-generation raw bandwidth. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!