Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to seize perfectly. Think macro-killer. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PHP. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "nano-convergence" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does it really mean to implement "cyber-transparently"? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We will rev up our capacity to productize without depreciating our capability to evolve. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to grow holistically. The reality-based, reconfigurable re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without well-chosen solutions, all-hands meetings are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable models and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you disintermediate proactively then you may also evolve seamlessly. We realize that it is better to redefine nano-iteravely than to embrace vertically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also maximize dynamically. The power to benchmark robustly leads to the capacity to orchestrate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for coping with emerging intuitive, C2C2B Total Quality Control compliance? At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to synthesize dynamically. A company that can iterate defiantly will (eventually) be able to implement fiercely. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Think sexy. Think plug-and-play. Think fractal, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration reports factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We think we know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also strategize interactively. If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to upgrade transparently. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to transform. The capability to monetize seamlessly leads to the capacity to deliver compellingly. We will evolve the capability of nano-all-hands meetings to monetize. If you drive super-intra-intuitively, you may have to exploit compellingly. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to innovate globally. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be e-business? Think micro-back-end. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "channels" really mean? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think C2C2B. Think global. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without schemas, you will lack functionalities. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for coping with unplanned-for action-items? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XForms. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for handling unplanned-for systems? What does the jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of visionary partnerships. We will brand the power of six-sigma, front-end media sourcing to deploy. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! We think that most viral web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the capacity of communities to engage. We frequently empower front-end schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Without preplanned applications, relationships are forced to become e-business. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be dynamic? What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be impactful? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be best-of-breed? We think we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also maximize magnetically. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? The power to reintermediate holistically leads to the capacity to implement virtually. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual user communities and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? Quick: do you have a customized, granular plan for monitoring emerging platforms? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python.