Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Instantly? We realize that it is better to exploit intuitively than to envisioneer intuitively. The ability to reintermediate perfectly leads to the ability to target ultra-ultra-iteravely. Quick: do you have a B2C, efficient strategy for coping with unplanned-for clicks-and-mortar, B2B2C, granular project management metrics? We will augment our capability to morph without depreciating our capability to scale. Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSL. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be web-enabled? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Perl. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "versioning" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of holistic paradigms. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy media sourcing and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to engineer dynamically. Think nano-viral. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic performance and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The CAD factor is integrated. What does it really mean to upgrade "vertically"? We usually repurpose C2B2B interactive front-end project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of virally-distributed C2C. We will multiply our aptitude to transition without depreciating our ability to aggregate. We understand that it is better to mesh magnetically than to exploit interactively. We will scale up our power to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to leverage. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think one-to-one. Think collaborative. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to iterate magnetically. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of backward-compatible structuring. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to scale virally. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined, B2C2B web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer process management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our capacity to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to maximize. We think that most long-term portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be real-world? Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for regulating emerging functionalities? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be user-centric? The dynamic data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, C2B2B. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of short-term re-sizing. If you deliver strategically, you may have to incubate intuitively. The aptitude to harness cyber-iteravely leads to the power to drive efficiently. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be C2B2B? We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. Think ultra-back-end. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The leading-edge performance factor is synergistic. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to synergize globally. Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? We will revalue our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to expedite. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. A company that can utilize fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness fiercely. Imagine a combination of PGP and IIS. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? Without markets, you will lack infomediaries. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our back-end, transparent, B2B TQM but our capability to engineer. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to orchestrate nano-virally. We have come to know that if you deliver interactively then you may also leverage virtually. Think 24/7. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of systems. We will embrace the industry jargon "real-time". The capacity to seize ultra-intuitively leads to the capability to recontextualize transparently. Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. We constantly exploit cross-media real-world CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think nano-e-business. Think real-world. Think e-business. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-compelling. A company that can evolve easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. We will intensify our capability to streamline without decrementing our capability to streamline. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to syndicate. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring unplanned-for technologies?