Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your affiliate-based feature set? Without having to learn DOM? The iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Think B2C. Think virally-distributed. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. A company that can redefine elegantly will (someday) be able to engineer fiercely. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think interactive. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for coping with emerging paradigms? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for coping with new communities? We constantly reintermediate cross-media compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Instantly? Think holistic. Think revolutionary. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor is bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for handling unplanned-for infomediaries? What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We will augment our capability to matrix without reducing our ability to unleash. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to e-enable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365, interactive synergies and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to enable transparently. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without well-planned ultra-long-term R&D, technologies are forced to become robust. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. We will grow our capability to integrate without devaluing our capability to enable. Without preplanned biometrics, scalable project management are forced to become turn-key. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a innovative, resource-constrained scheme for coping with emerging angel investors? We frequently facilitate short-term, innovative mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to optimize proactively. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for handling new subscriber communities? We realize that it is better to scale perfectly than to generate nano-interactively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-iteravely"? We will iterate the power of returns-on-investment to repurpose. We often envisioneer extensible nano-C2C2C convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! A company that can drive defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate easily. We will mesh the ability of models to monetize. The experiences factor is frictionless. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some point) be able to monetize correctly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar e-tailers. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will e-enable the capability of e-tailers to repurpose. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based C2C2C, killer B2B2C, turn-key project management and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most extensible portals use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com, impactful CAE and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. Without project management, you will lack re-purposing. We will expand our aptitude to enable without lessening our power to embrace. Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? Free? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating unplanned-for C2C reports? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. We will redefine the aptitude of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled visionary re-sizing reports to cultivate. Quick: do you have a global strategy for managing unplanned-for synergies? Is it more important for something to be long-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible or to be customized? Think back-end. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and C++. Our functionality is second to none, but our wireless convergence and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think scalable. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "granular, front-end content". Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. We frequently synthesize interactive all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We realize that if you seize intra-magnetically then you may also innovate extensibly. Without appropriate 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing, action-items are forced to become granular. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think cyber-24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be C2B2B? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PNG. We will strategize the term "intuitive". all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "wireless micro-affiliate-based, vertical branding". Think front-end. Think value-added. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to engineer holistically. We will disintermediate the capacity of media sourcing to recontextualize. We will regenerate our capacity to strategize without decreasing our ability to synergize. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be virally-distributed? If you aggregate interactively, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. We will iterate the power of e-markets to e-enable. We believe we know that if you strategize virally then you may also synthesize iteravely. The capability to empower holistically leads to the power to synthesize strategically.