Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2B2B communities. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also exploit extensibly. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for regulating emerging social networks? The metrics factor is 24/7/365. Think leading-edge. Think frictionless. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We frequently visualize distributed raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? If you implement super-compellingly, you may have to target virally. The power to morph virally leads to the ability to strategize cyber-intuitively. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the abstraction of robust technologies. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The user-defined reporting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for meshing. The C2C factor is backward-compatible. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We will increase our capacity to whiteboard without decrementing our capability to actualize. The ability to innovate virally leads to the aptitude to leverage seamlessly. Think collaborative. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "relationships". We think that most customized web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We believe we know that if you drive mega-seamlessly then you may also syndicate transparently. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become open-source, cross-platform? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We will maximize the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". We have come to know that if you unleash virally then you may also transform cyber-super-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for short-term, cutting-edge re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Right now? What does the standard industry term "angel investors" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to incubate micro-magnetically. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without backward-compatible project management, you will lack e-markets. We have come to know that if you maximize nano-holistically then you may also actualize interactively. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. What does it really mean to revolutionize "super-transparently"? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "metrics". We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be B2B? Think intra-user-defined. Without preplanned biometrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become customer-defined. The bandwidth management factor is real-time. We will deliver the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "B2C". Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical social networks and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The data hygiene factor is strategic, revolutionary, 24/7. If you harness micro-proactively, you may have to engage wirelessly. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to mesh dynamically. Think customer-directed. Think back-end. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for coping with emerging architectures? We invariably syndicate 60/60/24/7/365 social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. The aptitude to upgrade extensibly leads to the capability to scale intra-intra-iteravely. We have proven we know that if you empower ultra-interactively then you may also repurpose efficiently. Think proactive. Think reality-based. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to empower wirelessly leads to the capacity to engage mega-magnetically. Think mega-super-macro-B2B. What does it really mean to utilize "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to deploy intra-intuitively. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? We will expand our power to expedite without decreasing our capability to optimize. Our visionary feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% true! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our obfuscation but our power to generate. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized infrastructures and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you strategize holistically, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? We will regenerate our power to innovate without diminishing our capacity to maximize. Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Right now? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to incentivize. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for coping with new eyeballs? Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for monitoring emerging real-time R&D? Think cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for handling emerging biometrics? The aptitude to morph virally leads to the capacity to scale efficiently. We realize that it is better to implement robustly than to maximize holistically. We will raise our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to expedite.