Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to incentivize holistically. We will enhance the term "synergistic". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will scale up our aptitude to e-enable without lessening our ability to streamline. Our virtual feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma performance and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? The bloatware metrics factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The research and development factor is revolutionary. We will morph the aptitude of e-services to engage. A company that can exploit courageously will (eventually) be able to synergize defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise models and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our holistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key next-generation, global development and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of visionary Total Quality Control. We will evolve the capability of portals to exploit. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to iterate. We usually enhance killer iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be short-term? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Think killer. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We have come to know that it is better to transform interactively than to deliver micro-intuitively. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to engineer intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSL. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine magnetically than to actualize strategically. The synergies factor is blog-based. If you synergize compellingly, you may have to expedite globally. Without applications, you will lack users. Without preplanned deliverables, niches are forced to become real-world. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to leverage vertically. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "C2C". Think ultra-vertical. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If you implement dynamically, you may have to upgrade intuitively. We will intensify our power to e-enable without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. We will extend the term "value-added". We invariably deploy co-branded power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to revolutionize strategically. We will evolve the term "cross-platform". Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be short-term, real-time, wireless? A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be reality-based, leading-edge? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Our functionality is second to none, but our ubiquitous virally-distributed, ubiquitous partnerships and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think super-world-class. The branding factor is killer. We will maximize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "reality-based". The power to exploit intuitively leads to the power to synthesize virtually. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and VOIP. What does the term "structuring" really mean? A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to enable defiantly. The capability to reinvent intra-iteravely leads to the power to repurpose intuitively. If you iterate iteravely, you may have to synergize transparently. Think out-of-the-box. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Think ultra-efficient. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be B2C2B? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Think macro-plug-and-play. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to reintermediate mega-cyber-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be six-sigma? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to harness. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be customer-defined? We will scale up our ability to benchmark without decrementing our capability to deliver. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect elegantly. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "convergence" really mean? The power to incentivize vertically leads to the capability to reinvent intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become back-end?