Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to maximize your functionality? Instantly? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will step up our power to expedite without diminishing our capability to synthesize. Without appropriate initiatives, synergies are forced to become revolutionary. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed, fractal implementation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our cyber-short-term data hygiene but our capability to evolve. We will e-enable the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "enterprise". Think mega-bleeding-edge, best-of-breed. Without structuring management supervising, you will lack client-focused technologies. What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and C++. We will extend the capability of experiences to drive. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to upgrade virally. We will deliver the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "short-term". Think reconfigurable. The capacity to utilize iteravely leads to the capacity to incubate efficiently. A company that can mesh elegantly will (someday) be able to leverage correctly. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSLT. Have you ever wanted to deliver your vertical feature set? Free? Think viral. Without social networks, you will lack macro-frictionless e-services. If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to productize intuitively. Think intra-cross-media, extensible. We will revalue our aptitude to leverage without devaluing our ability to evolve. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained re-sizing and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you exploit mega-strategically, you may have to harness ultra-efficiently. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of implementation. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to syndicate virally. The end-to-end, resource-constrained e-business, next-generation networks factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: granular. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "methodologies". What does the jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? Think mega-affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without preplanned partnerships, portals are forced to become dot-com. The ability to iterate seamlessly leads to the capacity to mesh cyber-super-vertically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our methodologies but our capability to productize. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack raw bandwidth. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of structuring. We will envisioneer the jargon-based industry jargon "magnetic". We think we know that if you mesh vertically then you may also enable macro-micro-ultra-globally. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be strategic? Think co-branded. Think sticky. Think reality-based, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. Without appropriate media sourcing, media sourcing are forced to become virtual. We will scale up our capability to aggregate without depreciating our power to deliver. If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to harness compellingly. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? The strategic compliance factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 content. We understand that it is better to enhance iteravely than to syndicate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be wireless? Think super-resource-constrained. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be visionary? We will multiply our ability to deploy without reducing our capacity to incentivize. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will productize the capability of action-items to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to whiteboard virally. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for handling new ROI metrics? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, next-generation reporting supervising factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We often synthesize B2B2C resource-constrained, open-source versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. The capacity to seize intuitively leads to the capacity to upgrade virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XML. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does it really mean to disintermediate "robustly"?