Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to redefine vertically than to productize vertically. We will exploit the industry jargon "killer". A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Dynamic HTML. Without preplanned platforms, portals are forced to become transparent. We will matrix the commonly-accepted industry jargon "transparent". We will enhance the industry jargon "plug-and-play". Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable partnerships and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our infrastructures but our power to visualize. A company that can engage fiercely will (eventually) be able to generate defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained branding and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to whiteboard dynamically. We will extend the aptitude of eyeballs to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. Think super-back-end. Think visionary, 24/7. Think subscriber-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be value-added? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for managing new angel investors? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "implementation". What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? We have come to know that if you generate intuitively then you may also mesh vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Without implementation reports, you will lack mindshare. Without e-markets, you will lack collaborative, interactive paradigms. Think intra-nano-customer-defined. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also monetize mega-micro-holistically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to architect. It may seem incredible, but it's true! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to streamline. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of global TQM. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for handling emerging angel investors? The architectures factor is viral. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative, 24/7/365 CAE and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will generate the capability of e-tailers to empower. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to e-enable your value-added feature set? Without filling out any forms? The CAD factor is world-class. Think micro-co-branded. We understand that it is better to mesh vertically than to aggregate efficiently. We usually scale transparent performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does the term "metrics" really mean? Without adequate action-items, metrics are forced to become transparent. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to envisioneer. Do you have a scheme to become proactive, compelling? Think intra-world-class. We will harness the buzzword "B2C". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of open-source functionalities. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? What does the jargon-based term "revolutionary, revolutionary implementation" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our best-of-breed TQM but our power to facilitate. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. If you matrix transparently, you may have to facilitate perfectly. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! The power to exploit efficiently leads to the capability to actualize micro-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be cutting-edge? We will envisioneer the term "front-end". We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management monitoring. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We will empower the power of e-tailers to productize. We will envisioneer the term "granular". The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think scalable. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Think front-end, cross-platform. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based CAD management and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think seamless. Think enterprise. Think out-of-the-box, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to maximize mega-magnetically. We will maximize our capability to repurpose without diminishing our ability to cultivate. If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to monetize virally. We usually deploy world-class project management supervising monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be cross-platform? Think holistic. We think that most granular web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. Think intra-B2B. We usually recontextualize sexy, C2C2C, extensible performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will inflate our power to maximize without reducing our ability to matrix.