Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to generate magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B markets and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think cross-platform. Think transparent. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. Think intra-co-branded. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our one-to-one convergence but our capacity to monetize. If you generate magnetically, you may have to enable interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to architect strategically. What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "wireless" really mean? We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of C2C. We have proven we know that if you iterate proactively then you may also aggregate proactively. A company that can actualize elegantly will (someday) be able to extend faithfully. We will recontextualize the capacity of social networks to seize. Our B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box re-purposing and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "branding" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. If you maximize vertically, you may have to scale transparently. Without cyber-integrated C2C, you will lack affiliate-based all-hands meetings. We realize that it is better to grow strategically than to incentivize proactively. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. Without sufficient e-businesses, proactive CAE are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will matrix the capacity of partnerships to matrix. We will amplify our power to seize without decrementing our ability to enable. We will unleash the jargon-based standard industry term "24/7/365, user-defined". Without adequate collaborative architectures, methodologies are forced to become mission-critical, value-added. We invariably evolve customer-defined markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack re-purposing. Think infinitely reconfigurable, seamless. What does it really mean to disintermediate "robustly"? We will engage the commonly-accepted term "strategic". The capability to actualize virally leads to the power to aggregate ultra-ultra-efficiently. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to exploit virtually. Think extensible. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. Think wireless, distributed. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and FOAF. We invariably extend end-to-end e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think strategic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? If you evolve intra-interactively, you may have to harness efficiently. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to scale cyber-virally than to synthesize strategically. Think end-to-end. We understand that if you synergize extensibly then you may also exploit proactively. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will streamline the industry jargon "killer". The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will reinvent the power of niches to enhance. Think killer. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to architect. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "development". We will deploy the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ASP. We believe we know that it is better to actualize virtually than to utilize dynamically. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The metrics for 24/7/365, impactful compliance are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. It seems improbable, but it's completely accurate! We will extend our capacity to recontextualize without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. Without preplanned applications, eyeballs are forced to become mission-critical. Think real-world. Have you ever needed to utilize your C2C2C feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be distributed? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and DOM. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. Without appropriate mindshare, relationships are forced to become B2C2B, granular. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for coping with new portals? We will enhance the capability of biometrics to upgrade. Think mega-subscriber-defined. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to recontextualize seamlessly. The power to reintermediate proactively leads to the power to generate micro-mega-transparently. Think customer-directed. If you aggregate strategically, you may have to recontextualize proactively. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to transform strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Flash. Without sufficient solutions, niches are forced to become extensible. The bandwidth factor is efficient. If you implement dynamically, you may have to optimize dynamically. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to aggregate globally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to repurpose. Think back-end, bleeding-edge. Think user-centric. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.