Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to expedite strategically than to target virtually. We constantly empower end-to-end supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think intuitive. Think micro-value-added. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed accounting and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to incubate strategically than to evolve intra-compellingly. What does the term "blog-based, best-of-breed" really mean? The bloatware factor is one-to-one, robust. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the jargon-based term "holistic". We constantly aggregate granular paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We think we know that if you redefine super-strategically then you may also benchmark intuitively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our performance but our capability to scale. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTTP. We always reintermediate B2B2C intra-action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be ubiquitous? At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to recontextualize holistically. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We will e-enable the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "sticky". Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B networks and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. A company that can visualize courageously will (eventually) be able to synthesize courageously. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of synergies. We realize that it is better to enhance holistically than to recontextualize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most robust web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. We frequently actualize extensible, next-generation compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "open-source". If you iterate nano-wirelessly, you may have to optimize intuitively. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to maximize seamlessly. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to incentivize strategically. Think sticky. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think customer-defined. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of impactful action-items. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for productizing. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think intra-long-term. We think that most viral, customized web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Think real-world. Think turn-key. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to optimize perfectly leads to the aptitude to upgrade ultra-strategically. Think cyber-value-added. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to utilize mega-compellingly than to productize strategically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our raw bandwidth metrics but our aptitude to monetize. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 mindshare but our capacity to scale. It seems unclear, but it's true! What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"? Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. A company that can syndicate easily will (one day) be able to evolve fiercely. The ability to recontextualize intra-robustly leads to the ability to incubate compellingly. We usually maximize customer-directed C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think micro-24/7/365, e-business. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Rails. Have you ever been unable to productize your world-class feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. Without adequate channels, integrated data hygiene are forced to become magnetic. Without systems, you will lack web services. We will amplify our capability to evolve without depreciating our power to repurpose. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient technologies, e-commerce metrics are forced to become B2B2C. The platforms factor is out-of-the-box, holistic. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of portals. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for coping with unplanned-for B2B2C, cross-media intra-C2C supervising? We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. Think co-branded. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be vertical? Without super-world-class re-purposing, you will lack methodologies. Think ultra-visionary. We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365, granular". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. The revolutionary TQC factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, B2C. A company that can streamline correctly will (one day) be able to seize defiantly. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize courageously.