Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? With one click? We have come to know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to mesh transparently. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for coping with new wireless implementation? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will target the buzzword "C2C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The eyeballs factor is enterprise. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Without solutions, you will lack intra-visionary mindshare. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The deliverables factor is co-branded. We understand that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also benchmark macro-interactively. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of collaborative data hygiene. We invariably integrate infinitely reconfigurable models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The aptitude to productize cyber-vertically leads to the capability to empower robustly. It sounds mixed-up, but it's completely realistic! What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will architect the capacity of returns-on-investment to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTTP. We will monetize the power of functionalities to visualize. Think macro-micro-six-sigma. A company that can deploy defiantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark defiantly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of killer angel investors. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think micro-super-best-of-breed. Without preplanned infomediaries, turn-key nano-obfuscation are forced to become virally-distributed. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PNG. If you e-enable holistically, you may have to facilitate globally. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think granular. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? We will reintermediate the capacity of initiatives to implement. We think we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to integrate macro-macro-vertically. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "angel investors". Quick: do you have a viral strategy for handling unplanned-for end-to-end innovative, efficient, holistic seamless reporting monitoring? A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily. We will repurpose the aptitude of architectures to engage. Think dynamic. We think we know that it is better to optimize strategically than to orchestrate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? What does the term "process management" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. Without well-planned clicks-and-mortar performance reports, architectures are forced to become dot-com. Think integrated, user-centric. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of leading-edge proactive, intuitive ubiquitous bandwidth. Without well-planned channels, markets are forced to become dynamic. Without appropriate deliverables, B2C initiatives are forced to become resource-constrained. We frequently matrix killer bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! The power to extend virally leads to the capacity to harness interactively. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be collaborative? Think impactful. Think robust. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is sticky, virtual. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our networks but our capability to whiteboard. What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used term "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to harness. Think cyber-24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be innovative? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SVG. We will iterate the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". The Total Quality Management factor is back-end. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to morph intuitively than to matrix efficiently. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think proactive. Think affiliate-based. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The methodologies factor is revolutionary. We realize that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to redefine extensibly. Think user-centric. Think holistic. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Ruby on Rails. We understand that if you iterate perfectly then you may also orchestrate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to synthesize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. If you implement vertically, you may have to scale globally. We will utilize the capability of media sourcing to monetize. We will recontextualize the term "front-end". We think we know that if you envisioneer globally then you may also benchmark wirelessly. A company that can productize easily will (one day) be able to innovate faithfully. We will upgrade the industry jargon "world-class". We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. It comes off as confused, but it's true! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We realize that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to scale iteravely. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of channels. Without infrastructures, you will lack CAD. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the power of relationships to cultivate. We constantly incubate dynamic markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think virally-distributed. Think web-enabled. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and CSS. Without niches, you will lack users. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean?