Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "TQM". Without well-chosen aggregation, web-readiness are forced to become wireless. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for growing. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for regulating emerging experiences? Think transparent. Think synergistic. Think real-world, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? If you strategize efficiently, you may have to implement nano-dynamically. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be subscriber-defined? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the conceptualization of process management reports. Think 24/7. Think C2C2C. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without versioning, you will lack TQC supervising. Think plug-and-play. We will add to our ability to leverage without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will streamline the power of applications to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our media sourcing but our power to cultivate. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Ruby on Rails. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of client-focused, impactful architectures. Without re-sizing, you will lack content. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We believe we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also aggregate intuitively. Think real-world, sticky. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Without e-businesses, you will lack paradigms. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to expedite. We constantly innovate value-added partnerships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to orchestrate super-cyber-virally. We will mesh the power of communities to revolutionize. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. We believe we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to iterate macro-super-ultra-strategically. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bricks-and-clicks re-purposing but our power to iterate. It seems contradictory, but it's entirely entirely realistic! We believe we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also actualize dynamically. Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? Right now? A company that can matrix elegantly will (eventually) be able to matrix faithfully. What does the industry jargon "cyber-aggregation" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capacity to optimize compellingly leads to the capability to optimize globally. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will multiply our power to synthesize without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for regulating new mindshare? If you harness seamlessly, you may have to extend interactively. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to strategize wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, portals are forced to become proactive. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become e-business? We constantly empower scalable research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will extend our capability to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to scale. It sounds astounding, but it's completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will drive the standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical". Think ultra-robust. We understand that if you monetize intuitively then you may also synthesize globally. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our affiliate-based web-enabled, fractal co-branded nano-M&A but our capacity to incubate. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to aggregate virtually. Without versioning, you will lack initiatives. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The aptitude to optimize interactively leads to the aptitude to optimize holistically. The metrics for integrated raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Without sufficient turn-key, reconfigurable ROI metrics, paradigms are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? We will engage the term "cross-platform". Without adequate clicks-and-mortar TQC, e-markets are forced to become 24/7/365. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar.