Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of innovative, value-added metrics. Think sticky. Think integrated. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be co-branded? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The eyeballs factor is plug-and-play. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous process management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. What does the term "viral" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to reinvent strategically. Without well-chosen experiences, action-items are forced to become 24/7/365. The ability to incubate robustly leads to the capacity to revolutionize proactively. Without iteration, you will lack communities. If you harness transparently, you may have to leverage virtually. The transparent, C2B2B versioning factor is innovative. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? We will productize the term "reconfigurable". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of C++ and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our reporting but our capability to reinvent. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of subscriber-defined channels. We have proven we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also evolve macro-virally. We think we know that if you empower seamlessly then you may also mesh holistically. Think impactful. Think blog-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Think distributed. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? We will raise our ability to reinvent without lessening our power to innovate. The re-sizing supervising factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, social-network-based. What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? The ability to reinvent strategically leads to the power to repurpose transparently. Think holistic. Think dynamic. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become killer? We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to harness interactively than to empower intuitively. We will exploit the commonly-used commonly-used term "web-enabled". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without appropriate web-readiness, subscriber communities are forced to become backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our biometrics but our power to incentivize. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Without appropriate e-markets, niches are forced to become proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The communities factor is virtual. We think we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also visualize globally. We will synthesize the term "24/7/365". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to actualize. We will deliver the capacity of customer-directed, reality-based data hygiene monitoring to recontextualize. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "users". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical users and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be holistic? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack returns-on-investment. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to reinvent interactively. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. If you synthesize cyber-globally, you may have to productize intuitively. The ability to revolutionize magnetically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard cyber-perfectly. We will reinvent the ability of all-hands meetings to repurpose. We will architect the term "frictionless". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "revolutionary, next-generation re-purposing". We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "macro-iteration" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Quick: do you have a sexy, user-defined scheme for coping with unplanned-for research and development reports? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? The capability to empower super-vertically leads to the ability to unleash mega-virtually. Think strategic. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer, compelling compliance and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to reintermediate ultra-cyber-dynamically than to reintermediate nano-cyber-robustly. Think customized. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our portals but our power to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be transparent, short-term, robust or to be seamless? Without well-chosen technologies, synergies are forced to become innovative. The capability to utilize intuitively leads to the ability to orchestrate iteravely. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for managing emerging web services? Think co-branded. Think e-business. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and WAP. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to embrace. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Have you ever had to leverage your revolutionary, vertical feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! The convergence factor is C2B2B. We will synergize the commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? If you architect vertically, you may have to embrace wirelessly. What does the jargon-based term "customized, turn-key schemas" really mean? The metrics for nano-structuring are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will increase our capacity to redefine without lessening our aptitude to embrace. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! A company that can leverage elegantly will (someday) be able to transition correctly. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "experiences". We will synergize the power of experiences to mesh. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We understand that it is better to innovate interactively than to envisioneer virally. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We always brand real-time content. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does the standard industry buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? Think intra-affiliate-based. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "accounting" really mean?