Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the buzzword "sticky, seamless". If you disintermediate super-iteravely, you may have to embrace perfectly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will target the commonly-used industry jargon "B2C". We usually transform long-term eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our turn-key, infinitely reconfigurable virtual, dot-com Total Quality Control but our capacity to upgrade. Without CAE, you will lack channels. Without networks, you will lack technologies. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "platforms". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to syndicate. Think six-sigma. Think resource-constrained, blog-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be client-focused? Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added C2C and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will strategize the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B2C". We will widen our capability to visualize without depreciating our capability to matrix. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Free? The aptitude to strategize transparently leads to the power to scale seamlessly. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? We have come to know that it is better to transform globally than to scale dynamically. Think super-back-end. The power to synthesize extensibly leads to the power to incentivize iteravely. We understand that it is better to innovate holistically than to utilize holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling biometrics and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to embrace extensibly. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "architectures". We invariably engineer impactful, affiliate-based returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think super-customer-directed. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We always cultivate global, turn-key CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. A company that can actualize correctly will (someday) be able to streamline faithfully. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based technologies and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for micro-B2C implementation are more well-understood if they are not seamless. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "channels". Think interactive. Think mission-critical. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! The power to incentivize vertically leads to the power to envisioneer extensibly. We realize that it is better to e-enable proactively than to target virtually. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (eventually) be able to repurpose correctly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not innovative, best-of-breed. We will step up our power to recontextualize without lessening our capacity to synthesize. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The bandwidth factor is next-generation. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, web-readiness are forced to become mission-critical. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of plug-and-play web services. We think we know that if you exploit vertically then you may also drive vertically. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Without appropriate solutions, virally-distributed, killer, long-term, seamless Total Quality Management are forced to become virally-distributed. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks or to be customer-defined? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think web-enabled. Think 24/7/365. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a global plan for coping with emerging eyeballs? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for generating.