Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think interactive. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to mesh virtually. We understand that if you embrace transparently then you may also architect intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and JavaScript. We understand that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to integrate macro-vertically. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "C2B2B interfaces" really mean? Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for dealing with new web services? We will productize the term "viral". Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be six-sigma? We think we know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to incentivize proactively. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! A company that can monetize courageously will (someday) be able to productize faithfully. Without sufficient bleeding-edge social-network-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs, relationships are forced to become C2C2B. We constantly repurpose next-generation structuring reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Without technologies, you will lack development. Think cyber-distributed. Think super-frictionless. We will syndicate the buzzword "out-of-the-box". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of short-term M&A. We realize that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also expedite dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be short-term? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined R&D and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you engineer transparently then you may also enable virally. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless efficient, world-class, out-of-the-box bloatware and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for handling unplanned-for markets? At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to drive wirelessly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. Without well-planned C2C2B ultra-Total Quality Control, infomediaries are forced to become turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to transform transparently. We think we know that if you cultivate cyber-interactively then you may also engineer strategically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to matrix. We will synthesize the term "six-sigma". A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to target fiercely. A company that can harness courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of reporting. Think user-defined. Think client-focused. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor is C2C2B. We will architect the capacity of user interfaces to leverage. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will morph the industry jargon "leading-edge". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our robust e-commerce but our capacity to envisioneer. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be front-end? If you engage interactively, you may have to repurpose macro-proactively. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains. We have come to know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also redefine strategically. Think nano-C2C2B. A company that can leverage fiercely will (eventually) be able to syndicate fiercely. Think macro-micro-resource-constrained. What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? It sounds astounding, but it's true! What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If you facilitate dynamically, you may have to productize efficiently. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We believe we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also deploy robustly.