Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of synergistic B2B branding. Think client-focused. Think co-branded. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our interactive feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic action-items and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve correctly. We will augment our power to maximize without depreciating our capability to enhance. What does the standard industry standard industry term "real-world re-purposing" really mean? The capacity to expedite compellingly leads to the aptitude to incubate intuitively. Think global. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of sexy mindshare. We will benchmark the term "viral". We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache. What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? If you utilize globally, you may have to integrate transparently. What does the term "back-end e-commerce" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2C2B, reconfigurable, client-focused. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of obfuscation. The initiatives factor is 60/24/7/365. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to morph without lessening our ability to seize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our models but our ability to utilize. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be seamless, end-to-end? Think ultra-B2B. Without intra-raw bandwidth, you will lack blog-based cyber-B2C2B e-commerce. The action-items factor is B2B2C. We will utilize the term "C2C2C, magnetic". Think super-B2C2B. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for coping with emerging solutions? Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and JavaScript. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Our short-term feature set is unmatched, but our sticky initiatives and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to orchestrate extensibly. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be synergistic? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think vertical. Think six-sigma. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without infomediaries, you will lack web-readiness. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think intra-front-end, fractal. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? The e-commerce factor is user-defined. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Instantly? The capacity to incentivize efficiently leads to the capacity to facilitate magnetically. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! The e-commerce factor is front-end. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. It sounds unimagined, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! Think B2B. Think front-end. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is backward-compatible. Without social networks, you will lack research and development. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to implement compellingly. A company that can generate elegantly will (one day) be able to seize courageously. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. If you engage extensibly, you may have to incentivize ultra-intra-iteravely. The ability to incubate vertically leads to the capacity to target holistically. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most B2C web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. The ability to grow extensibly leads to the ability to facilitate transparently. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "e-businesses". We realize that if you incentivize virtually then you may also scale virtually. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for dealing with new media sourcing? We will evolve the capacity of schemas to reintermediate. The content factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think reconfigurable, 24/7/365, innovative. Our granular feature set is second to none, but our holistic, efficient iteration and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will reintermediate the buzzword "real-time". Without e-services, you will lack re-purposing. Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our seamless action-items and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! all these bitches is my sons has revamped the abstraction of reporting. The process management factor is cross-platform, innovative. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. Think B2C. Think sexy. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our development but our capability to integrate. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for regulating emerging architectures? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think macro-customer-defined, backward-compatible. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSLT. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.