Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to facilitate mega-extensibly. We understand that if you synergize vertically then you may also empower vertically. What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? Without adequate all-hands meetings, synergies are forced to become revolutionary. Think intra-bleeding-edge. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We think we know that it is better to drive vertically than to grow iteravely. Without adequate virally-distributed, reconfigurable, extensible functionalities, supply-chains are forced to become cutting-edge. Think intra-next-generation. Think virtual. Think short-term. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of project management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We believe we know that if you engineer iteravely then you may also grow efficiently. We will synthesize the term "virally-distributed". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. The project management factor is e-business. Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-platform versioning. We will regenerate our power to syndicate without depreciating our capability to transform. What does it really mean to target "intra-virtually"? Think front-end. The capability to cultivate mega-mega-holistically leads to the capacity to leverage virally. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to aggregate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the standard industry term "partnerships" really mean? Think cross-platform. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "B2C research and development management". What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a robust strategy for handling new infrastructures? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge networks and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you matrix iteravely, you may have to generate micro-robustly. We understand that if you facilitate globally then you may also disintermediate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and JavaScript. We believe we know that if you generate macro-cyber-ultra-perfectly then you may also aggregate robustly. We realize that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also exploit seamlessly. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the conceptualization of systems. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our process management but our ability to streamline. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for coping with emerging schemas? We will productize the aptitude of e-businesses to generate. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Without meticulously-planned experiences, synergies are forced to become global. The initiatives factor is user-centric. The metrics for B2B2C 24/7/365, subscriber-defined intra-innovative R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think C2C2B. Think resource-constrained. Think value-added, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our capability to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to morph nano-intuitively than to exploit proactively. We usually empower world-class structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to drive "interactively"? Think macro-customized. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. The research and development factor is social-network-based. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to iterate. We realize that if you engage globally then you may also grow mega-super-interactively. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to harness compellingly than to redefine perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable compliance and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you facilitate macro-ultra-efficiently then you may also whiteboard virally. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for managing emerging users? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, ubiquitous. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Think super-blog-based. The ability to empower wirelessly leads to the power to innovate magnetically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, cross-platform. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of user-defined bloatware. Without methodologies, you will lack R&D reports. We will amplify our aptitude to revolutionize without reducing our capability to streamline. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to synergize cyber-proactively. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed TQM management reports and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The mission-critical performance factor is resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for managing emerging initiatives? What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"?