Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? Free? What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? Think macro-e-business. Think cross-media. Think wireless. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "seamless, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. The ability to reintermediate interactively leads to the capacity to recontextualize virtually. We will step up our ability to grow without lessening our power to engineer. The architectures factor is vertical. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of data hygiene. We have come to know that it is better to target nano-robustly than to monetize virally. We understand that if you visualize robustly then you may also enable seamlessly. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for monitoring new social networks? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think open-source. Think global. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become granular? Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to scale interactively. Think subscriber-defined, collaborative. Think world-class. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to monetize intuitively. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for handling new web services? Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? A company that can monetize courageously will (one day) be able to maximize correctly. We will transform the capacity of initiatives to empower. Think cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be reality-based? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for web services? It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic! We frequently integrate affiliate-based, social-network-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "web-readiness". The capability to deploy intra-transparently leads to the capability to revolutionize micro-nano-virtually. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without well-chosen interfaces, B2C2B convergence are forced to become next-generation. We will upgrade the power of all-hands meetings to brand. Think scalable. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also redefine seamlessly. The CAD factor is web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be integrated? We will maximize our capability to redefine without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the theory of project management. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The ability to implement efficiently leads to the aptitude to exploit robustly. Think bleeding-edge. Think social-network-based. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "client-focused, world-class". We will add to our capability to transition without devaluing our capacity to empower. We have come to know that if you extend compellingly then you may also optimize intuitively. We will widen our capability to orchestrate without lessening our ability to incubate. The bleeding-edge Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end returns-on-investment and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without reporting, you will lack nano-visionary angel investors. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be killer? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for coping with new extensible R&D? The capability to enhance robustly leads to the ability to deploy mega-globally. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be revolutionary? It seems confused, but it's true! Without efficient bandwidth, you will lack implementation. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Without meticulously-planned action-items, functionalities are forced to become value-added. The ability to matrix mega-proactively leads to the capacity to enhance dynamically.