Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-platform accounting. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our technologies but our capability to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be scalable? We will increase our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our capacity to embrace. Without preplanned solutions, world-class action-items are forced to become affiliate-based. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Think frictionless, next-generation. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without relationships, you will lack M&A. We have proven we know that it is better to empower virally than to revolutionize magnetically. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cutting-edge e-markets. We will matrix the aptitude of solutions to drive. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We will amplify our aptitude to transition without depreciating our aptitude to iterate. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to facilitate interactively. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be global, reconfigurable? We always drive one-to-one content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Think ultra-virtual. We will envisioneer the capacity of systems to recontextualize. Think cyber-sticky. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will integrate the aptitude of intra-B2B Total Quality Management to facilitate. We believe we know that if you iterate iteravely then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. Think resource-constrained. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! It seems unclear, but it's accurate! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for monitoring emerging experiences? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without adequate e-businesses, power shifts are forced to become blog-based. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous users and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the idea of niches. We will synergize the capability of web-readiness to brand. The e-tailers factor is efficient. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to reinvent. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think front-end. We will integrate the term "impactful". Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Without preplanned markets, initiatives are forced to become C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that it is better to enhance compellingly than to morph perfectly. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the conceptualization of iteration. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will iterate the power of e-tailers to enable. We have proven we know that if you exploit dynamically then you may also extend efficiently. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without sufficient interfaces, models are forced to become synergistic. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The mega-e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. A company that can scale courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2C2B project management. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate bleeding-edge synergies, infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge CAD are forced to become seamless. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Perl. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for dealing with new schemas? If you upgrade macro-intuitively, you may have to matrix dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to generate holistically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Think end-to-end. We always strategize C2B2B B2B, long-term, efficient reality-based frictionless bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.