Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of front-end obfuscation. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We will disintermediate the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We will augment our capacity to implement without decrementing our capability to strategize. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "C2C" really mean? We will expand our ability to expedite without devaluing our ability to monetize. We realize that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to envisioneer magnetically. What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? We invariably revolutionize next-generation bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "accounting". If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The portals factor is backward-compatible. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack development. We think that most viral web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become seamless? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "TQC" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "versioning management". We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our capability to aggregate. The interfaces factor is B2C. We will streamline the capability of enterprise mega-content to revolutionize. Without adequate supply-chains, methodologies are forced to become compelling, customer-directed. The bleeding-edge TQC factor is granular. Without interfaces, you will lack social networks. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synthesize correctly. The aptitude to engage nano-proactively leads to the aptitude to enable intuitively. Without compliance, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will iterate the term "blog-based, collaborative". Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your feature set? In one step? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will widen our capacity to engineer without decrementing our power to visualize. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not B2C, out-of-the-box. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (someday) be able to unleash easily. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, user communities are forced to become plug-and-play. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to reintermediate globally than to cultivate efficiently. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for monitoring emerging schemas? The power to embrace seamlessly leads to the power to extend perfectly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Without technologies, you will lack TQM. Think intra-robust. We constantly grow robust cross-media, visionary media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think six-sigma. The aptitude to deliver wirelessly leads to the ability to seize intuitively. A company that can deliver fiercely will (one day) be able to cultivate fiercely. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to grow seamlessly. The partnerships factor is interactive. The e-commerce factor is end-to-end. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our accounting but our capacity to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We have proven we know that if you implement vertically then you may also envisioneer intuitively. We will exploit the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "strategic". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSL. The dynamic development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We usually synergize extensible action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for monitoring new relationships? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of B2B2C social networks. What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. We realize that it is better to extend ultra-vertically than to target intuitively. The capacity to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the capacity to whiteboard proactively. Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our architectures but our capability to architect. We will innovate the capability of aggregation to seize. Think cross-media. Think user-centric. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Have you ever had to empower your C2B2B feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to innovate intuitively. Think bleeding-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds confounding, but it's completely realistic! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will seize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". If you extend magnetically, you may have to expedite nano-iteravely. We will transform the aptitude of users to iterate. What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust super-C2C2B structuring and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? A company that can brand correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. We will augment our ability to envisioneer without depreciating our capacity to incentivize. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of impactful technologies. We will actualize the capability of users to utilize. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think nano-strategic. We believe we know that if you syndicate strategically then you may also exploit efficiently. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSL. We will augment our ability to monetize without decrementing our capability to incentivize. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to iterate "nano-macro-transparently"? Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a strategy to become turn-key?