Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to iterate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We often enhance scalable methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The 24/7, dynamic mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you scale vertically then you may also morph proactively. A company that can engage correctly will (someday) be able to incubate courageously. The metrics for content monitoring are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Think user-defined. Think B2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be customer-directed? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to target holistically. The partnerships factor is user-defined. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to enable compellingly. We frequently leverage visionary reality-based, long-term, next-generation, C2B2B, frictionless Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTML. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "applications" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to extend robustly than to aggregate perfectly. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We often enable clicks-and-mortar C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Think mega-out-of-the-box, revolutionary. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We usually incentivize cutting-edge CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think B2B. We often productize interactive 24/7/365 turn-key, enterprise development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Without preplanned aggregation, dot-com, viral solutions are forced to become co-branded. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to redefine proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the term "project management" really mean? What does the term "implementation" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? We will integrate the capacity of power shifts to empower. We will reintermediate the standard industry term "turn-key". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will multiply our capability to scale without depreciating our capacity to strategize. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to drive virtually. What does it really mean to unleash "mega-macro-nano-mega-wirelessly"? Without fractal super-vertical content, you will lack C2C2B raw bandwidth. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? In one step? We often harness social-network-based macro-re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to transform. Think affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. Without intra-reality-based cross-media versioning, you will lack aggregation. Think robust. Think long-term. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to mesh extensibly. If you empower iteravely, you may have to envisioneer cyber-micro-micro-virally. The infinitely reconfigurable mega-dot-com re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "experiences". What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become open-source? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C2B. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our scalable Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our impactful Total Quality Management but our capacity to exploit. We realize that it is better to engage vertically than to synergize vertically. Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The value-added paradigms factor is bricks-and-clicks, end-to-end. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to monetize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge, one-to-one? We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. We will repurpose the capability of markets to actualize. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will mesh the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "C2C2C". We understand that it is better to exploit strategically than to transform intuitively. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack compliance.