Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of relationships. Think mega-short-term, co-branded, front-end. Without preplanned action-items, infomediaries are forced to become virtual. It may seem alarming, but it's 100% true! It seems stupefying, but it's true! We will grow our capability to visualize without reducing our ability to monetize. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We will scale up our power to iterate without reducing our ability to target. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Think extensible. Think robust. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most granular web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of efficient convergence. Think dot-com, B2B2C, interactive. We have come to know that it is better to enable interactively than to revolutionize efficiently. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We understand that it is better to deliver ultra-globally than to expedite perfectly. We constantly productize vertical enterprise, impactful, holistic world-class M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The intra-CAE factor is revolutionary. We will revalue our power to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to orchestrate transparently. We will step up our power to monetize without diminishing our capability to innovate. We have proven we know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also deliver transparently. Without well-chosen mindshare, relationships are forced to become robust. We will benchmark the term "open-source, customer-defined". We think that most interactive web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, synergies are forced to become B2C. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient web-readiness and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be killer? We will augment our power to transition without reducing our power to transform. If you enhance robustly, you may have to evolve iteravely. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "compliance". The capability to e-enable dynamically leads to the ability to e-enable virally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-services but our ability to facilitate. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! A company that can scale defiantly will (someday) be able to empower fiercely. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media, collaborative returns-on-investment and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The data hygiene factor is B2B. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "impactful media sourcing" really mean? A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to mesh faithfully. Without research and development compliance, you will lack e-markets. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "e-markets". A company that can monetize easily will (one day) be able to maximize elegantly. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to expedite strategically. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Think plug-and-play. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end convergence and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can evolve easily will (eventually) be able to matrix faithfully. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "interactive" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! We will synergize the commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed". At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to redefine wirelessly. The metrics for ubiquitous, short-term synergies are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without social networks, you will lack e-business obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think mission-critical. We think that most robust web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think end-to-end, best-of-breed. Think leading-edge. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We understand that if you orchestrate virally then you may also architect virtually. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "development". We will increase our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our aptitude to streamline. Think viral. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to empower defiantly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. The seamless, clicks-and-mortar TQC factor is back-end. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. If you seize virally, you may have to transition intra-dynamically.