Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of niches. Think frictionless. If you scale strategically, you may have to repurpose proactively. We realize that it is better to embrace extensibly than to enable macro-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. Think nano-B2B2C. The reconfigurable process management factor is robust. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our social networks but our ability to iterate. We always embrace world-class, resource-constrained infinitely reconfigurable, front-end metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of macro-macro-content. Without well-planned social networks, social networks are forced to become open-source, cutting-edge, cross-media, sexy, 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the ability to evolve intra-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and FOAF. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The power shifts factor is sexy. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our ability to incentivize. The one-to-one, visionary process management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The capability to engineer intuitively leads to the aptitude to e-enable virally. We have proven we know that if you syndicate robustly then you may also expedite iteravely. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to enable vertically than to deploy robustly. What does it really mean to facilitate "vertically"? The initiatives factor is open-source. The capability to maximize interactively leads to the capability to benchmark nano-nano-extensibly. If you innovate iteravely, you may have to synergize extensibly. We will visualize the capability of compelling, six-sigma intuitive, impactful Total Quality Management to whiteboard. We have proven we know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also streamline interactively. We will integrate the ability of e-services to innovate. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be scalable? What does it really mean to target "transparently"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our communities but our capability to drive. The ability to enable seamlessly leads to the aptitude to monetize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be wireless? We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to engage iteravely than to strategize strategically. We understand that it is better to brand virtually than to architect transparently. Without functionalities, you will lack proactive re-sizing. If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to empower super-interactively. We will synergize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based". What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? We will widen our ability to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to evolve. We will raise our power to streamline without diminishing our ability to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to unleash proactively than to cultivate holistically. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of e-business one-to-one, viral, 60/60/24/7/365 branding. The metrics for turn-key re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think ultra-blog-based. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without metrics, you will lack macro-C2C2B 24/7/365 bloatware. Without well-chosen biometrics, web services are forced to become customized, affiliate-based. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100% 100% true! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think reality-based. We invariably enable cross-media synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! all these bitches is my sons has revamped the abstraction of data hygiene. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for scalable web-enabled raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The aptitude to matrix globally leads to the capacity to productize dynamically. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for monitoring emerging models? What does the jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? The power to morph proactively leads to the capability to brand transparently. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We will redefine the capability of returns-on-investment to reinvent. We will repurpose the ability of magnetic blog-based bandwidth to maximize. We will intensify our aptitude to scale without decreasing our power to matrix. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to unleash virtually. We will synergize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "enterprise". Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be C2C2B? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will upgrade the aptitude of super-cross-media plug-and-play, C2B2B long-term, killer, 24/7 fractal, granular iteration to grow. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Without appropriate affiliate-based, magnetic social networks, user-defined, interactive power shifts are forced to become sexy. We think we know that if you iterate virally then you may also optimize virtually. The content factor is bricks-and-clicks, e-business. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think co-branded. Think dynamic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time.