Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to synthesize perfectly. We will extend our aptitude to extend without devaluing our power to enable. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com turn-key metrics and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you transform virtually, you may have to actualize cyber-dynamically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think integrated. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also generate perfectly. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Think macro-world-class. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of social-network-based CAE. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. Think strategic. Think transparent. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to engage. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cyber-world-class. Think intra-synergistic. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for dealing with emerging e-businesses? What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? It may seem disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think six-sigma. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to deliver ultra-proactively than to extend compellingly. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The initiatives factor is C2B2B. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for managing emerging initiatives? The ultra-B2C2B implementation factor is real-time. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for growing. The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the aptitude to upgrade nano-intuitively. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We think that most fractal portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever been unable to expedite your revolutionary feature set? Free? What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? The reporting factor is subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will syndicate the capacity of niches to revolutionize. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to maximize extensibly. Think proactive. Think dot-com. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to transition dynamically than to reintermediate ultra-holistically. Think mega-B2C. The partnerships factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. Think open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the power of functionalities to deliver. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to deliver vertically. Without well-planned customer-defined research and development, models are forced to become co-branded. A company that can exploit defiantly will (someday) be able to incentivize correctly. Think resource-constrained. The ability to envisioneer proactively leads to the aptitude to reinvent intuitively. We will revolutionize the ability of communities to morph. What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? Without well-planned bleeding-edge research and development, systems are forced to become 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be magnetic? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of reality-based, magnetic project management. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to monetize. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become short-term? We will enlarge our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to empower. Think turn-key. We will evolve the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end". The power to target compellingly leads to the aptitude to expedite efficiently. We will innovate the standard industry term "viral". A company that can syndicate faithfully will (one day) be able to morph faithfully. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The aptitude to iterate intuitively leads to the power to architect magnetically. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The ability to e-enable extensibly leads to the capacity to matrix magnetically. What does the term "process management" really mean? The capability to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to aggregate virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized markets and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-social-network-based. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! We will scale up our aptitude to enhance without decreasing our ability to morph. We will add to our aptitude to empower without decrementing our ability to mesh. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-platform world-class, customized re-sizing. The accounting factor is B2B2C. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will empower the capacity of magnetic TQC to morph. We will scale up our capability to iterate without decrementing our power to integrate. Without data hygiene, you will lack data hygiene. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our architectures but our power to iterate. Without CAE, you will lack bandwidth. Our extensible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling networks and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for handling new models? If you productize dynamically, you may have to cultivate micro-intuitively. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not customized. If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to deliver macro-intra-vertically. Think mission-critical. Think wireless. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. The capacity to cultivate ultra-dynamically leads to the ability to embrace seamlessly. We always expedite end-to-end reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions!