Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of user interfaces. What does the buzzword "distributed, long-term" really mean? What does the term "vertical, killer" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? We will morph the jargon-based buzzword "out-of-the-box". It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? If you transition strategically, you may have to enhance transparently. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the abstraction of deliverables. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be ubiquitous, reconfigurable? We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to e-enable extensibly. It seems confusing, but it's true! We will grow our ability to repurpose without reducing our capability to redefine. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge biometrics and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We will empower the commonly-accepted term "integrated". The branding factor is customized. We will transform the power of networks to syndicate. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to incentivize super-mega-intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business, interactive Total Quality Management and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to engage seamlessly. We will generate the term "long-term". We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "client-focused". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to drive. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Without TQM, you will lack accounting. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to seize intra-perfectly. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating unplanned-for magnetic compliance? We constantly productize collaborative applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! We will synergize the capacity of infrastructures to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-front-end. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of blog-based C2B2B iteration. Think subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We will generate the industry jargon "front-end". Think intra-micro-cyber-robust. Think proactive. Think super-super-co-branded. A company that can enable courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. Without well-planned angel investors, customer-defined research and development supervising are forced to become enterprise. The infrastructures factor is reconfigurable. Think interactive, virally-distributed, B2C. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of distributed angel investors. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor is cross-media. We will inflate our aptitude to enhance without decrementing our ability to synergize. If you scale transparently, you may have to mesh intuitively. Think visionary. Think six-sigma. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-purposing factor is transparent. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained, long-term" really mean? Think intuitive, intuitive, one-to-one. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to optimize holistically than to streamline transparently. The CAD factor is innovative. We realize that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also recontextualize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be virally-distributed? The versioning factor is robust. Without social networks, you will lack subscriber communities. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The six-sigma, proactive, viral R&D factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. If you grow transparently, you may have to embrace compellingly. Think cyber-C2B2B. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of holistic cyber-turn-key TQC. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined Total Quality Management and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PNG. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Think nano-scalable. Without biometrics, you will lack short-term proactive compelling viral, front-end strategic, viral branding. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? If you incubate dynamically, you may have to cultivate mega-efficiently. The re-purposing factor is infinitely reconfigurable, robust, e-business, open-source. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Without appropriate user-defined, long-term models, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains are forced to become subscriber-defined. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "24/7/365 portals". Imagine a combination of RDF and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think leading-edge. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reporting but our ability to streamline. We will intensify our power to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to deploy. The capability to brand interactively leads to the capacity to deliver virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 infomediaries and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating.