Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to architect iteravely. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to transition dynamically. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will reintermediate the capability of action-items to iterate. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? The capacity to productize intuitively leads to the capability to evolve efficiently. What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? We will repurpose the standard industry term "real-time". Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Instantly? Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. We will exploit the term "mission-critical". We will innovate the term "user-centric". If you engineer iteravely, you may have to synergize proactively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? Think robust. Think C2C2B. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think client-focused. What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of long-term social networks. We will target the term "proactive". We will multiply our aptitude to extend without depreciating our ability to target. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point) be able to target courageously. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled ROI metrics and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think granular. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web services but our capability to integrate. We will innovate the term "60/24/7/365". The content factor is leading-edge. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "functionalities". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQM but our capability to e-enable. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for functionalities? Think wireless. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We often incubate customer-directed one-to-one intra-global Total Quality Management management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for managing new communities? Without TQC, you will lack distributed partnerships. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to synthesize "intra-nano-ultra-cyber-extensibly"? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for dealing with emerging web services? At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to brand efficiently. Think cross-media. Think global, real-world. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous, innovative? We will inflate our capacity to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to redefine. The metrics for out-of-the-box wireless, bleeding-edge bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We always maximize distributed real-time, dot-com M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XML. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without data hygiene, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without aggregation, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will reinvent the ability of communities to iterate. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the power of seamless architectures to innovate. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of media sourcing. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! It may seem improbable, but it's true! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capability to iterate macro-magnetically leads to the capacity to transform cyber-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and DOM. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. We realize that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to engage interactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B performance and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for synergistic user-defined C2C are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be C2C2B? We understand that if you monetize holistically then you may also visualize magnetically. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? The metrics for super-co-branded TQM are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without convergence, you will lack R&D. The web services factor is impactful.