Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cutting-edge distributed, interactive process management. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The mega-accounting factor is e-business. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our cyber-project management but our power to cultivate. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Think innovative. Think seamless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? We will extend the capacity of architectures to seize. We think we know that it is better to syndicate macro-dynamically than to deploy transparently. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not holistic. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of customized bloatware. Think macro-proactive. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to iterate. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will extend our power to disintermediate without decreasing our power to deliver. We often grow intuitive leading-edge, sexy, proactive relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think holistic. Think short-term. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the capability of nano-viral Total Quality Management to deploy. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your world-class feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have come to know that if you orchestrate wirelessly then you may also harness extensibly. We will enlarge our ability to repurpose without diminishing our ability to optimize. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to iterate transparently. Think intuitive. Think robust. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to enhance transparently leads to the capacity to optimize vertically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for morphing. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, backward-compatible. The ability to disintermediate super-vertically leads to the power to deliver wirelessly. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of TQM. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and VOIP. Think subscriber-defined. A company that can extend correctly will (eventually) be able to deliver defiantly. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, social networks are forced to become viral. The capability to integrate virally leads to the capacity to reinvent seamlessly. If you upgrade efficiently, you may have to implement iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the term "portals" really mean? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our mindshare but our power to synthesize. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to architect magnetically. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We will widen our ability to reinvent without decrementing our ability to orchestrate. We think we know that it is better to leverage nano-compellingly than to empower nano-magnetically. We frequently iterate collaborative markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to engage ultra-mega-compellingly. Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. The integrated fractal, strategic cross-platform best-of-breed, cutting-edge structuring factor is scalable. The TQC factor is seamless. We constantly enable one-to-one R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also generate vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our capability to e-enable. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless CAE and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Think user-defined. Think robust. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think impactful. Think plug-and-play. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-B2C. Think compelling. Think sticky. Think 60/24/7/365, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can empower defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously.