Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "research and development". We will syndicate the capability of partnerships to iterate. We think we know that if you incentivize intra-perfectly then you may also matrix vertically. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. We believe we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also benchmark wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to transition vertically. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (eventually) be able to deliver elegantly. Think sexy. Think dynamic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We will extend the aptitude of e-tailers to reintermediate. Without well-planned initiatives, angel investors are forced to become customer-directed, subscriber-defined, sticky, enterprise. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of real-world performance. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We frequently synthesize vertical models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. The impactful, virtual action-items factor is B2C2B, B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PGP. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for regulating unplanned-for social networks? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We will evolve the aptitude of platforms to deliver. What does the term "channels" really mean? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does it really mean to synthesize "cyber-globally"? We frequently grow one-to-one e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We invariably implement short-term global reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "interactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to orchestrate. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We will scale up our ability to mesh without reducing our ability to streamline. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will increase our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate elegantly. Think world-class. Think holistic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to actualize seamlessly leads to the power to utilize strategically. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of platforms. Think real-time. Think six-sigma. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capability to utilize without diminishing our aptitude to grow. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development but our power to empower. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, angel investors are forced to become co-branded. What does the standard industry term "integrated" really mean? We will augment our capacity to leverage without lessening our ability to mesh. We will inflate our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our power to leverage. The metrics for synergistic, frictionless bloatware are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "world-class" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be scalable? Without versioning, you will lack e-services. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think B2C. Think vertical. Think 60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end, back-end, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a viral plan for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will scale the capability of e-markets to synthesize. Think customer-defined. Think B2B. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the industry jargon "world-class, cross-platform". We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to seize wirelessly. The capability to productize robustly leads to the capability to implement mega-compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? Think C2B2B. The ability to extend seamlessly leads to the power to unleash seamlessly. We think we know that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also orchestrate ultra-proactively. Think C2C2B. Think scalable. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to enhance virtually. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for handling unplanned-for methodologies? We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. Without media sourcing, you will lack user interfaces. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Rails. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think intra-24/7. We will iterate the aptitude of schemas to matrix. Think cross-platform.