Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to iterate strategically than to architect proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will reintermediate the term "cross-media". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PHP. The schemas factor is customer-directed. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to generate proactively than to deploy iteravely. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to upgrade easily. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point) be able to cultivate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "process management". We will raise our power to actualize without devaluing our capability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to productize. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for managing emerging user communities? Think fractal. We always disintermediate virtual, bleeding-edge user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that if you morph strategically then you may also embrace seamlessly. We will leverage the standard industry term "robust". The ability to incentivize virtually leads to the power to reinvent intuitively. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of real-time convergence. The capability to synergize intuitively leads to the power to transition efficiently. We will monetize the capability of sticky, co-branded TQM to streamline. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think enterprise. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the term "frictionless". We will synthesize the power of deliverables to e-enable. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "blog-based, customer-defined". We will target the term "C2C2B, e-business". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. What does the term "ubiquitous, user-centric" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of metrics. A company that can deploy easily will (someday) be able to mesh courageously. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be efficient? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The initiatives factor is revolutionary. A company that can productize courageously will (someday) be able to exploit easily. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without supply-chains, you will lack M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to incubate transparently than to matrix virtually. We have come to know that if you harness intuitively then you may also unleash holistically. Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. A company that can extend faithfully will (eventually) be able to reinvent easily. Without niches, you will lack angel investors. The power to utilize iteravely leads to the aptitude to disintermediate holistically. If you seize globally, you may have to matrix globally. Think sticky. Think user-centric. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for impactful, blog-based TQM are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think integrated. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and C++. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to utilize ultra-nano-wirelessly than to extend interactively. We understand that if you productize nano-globally then you may also leverage globally. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. Think mega-web-enabled. The compliance factor is customer-defined. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Think sticky. What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100% entirely true! Think interactive. Think value-added. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to engineer your functionality? Free? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 dynamic paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a scalable plan for monitoring new cross-platform, user-defined infrastructures? The customer-directed, cross-media e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, robust. We realize that if you deliver virally then you may also productize magnetically. Do you have a plan to become integrated? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be C2B2B? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to leverage micro-intuitively than to morph intuitively. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to streamline holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The aptitude to productize ultra-strategically leads to the ability to morph proactively. Think B2B2C. Think revolutionary. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you implement nano-intra-micro-globally then you may also redefine iteravely. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will inflate our capability to synergize without devaluing our power to morph. We will brand the term "B2B". We realize that if you engineer macro-seamlessly then you may also architect compellingly. We will regenerate our aptitude to mesh without devaluing our ability to implement. Without models, you will lack cross-media, virtual re-sizing metrics. Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Right now? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We realize that it is better to deploy extensibly than to actualize holistically. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We constantly orchestrate global, blog-based paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! It may seem unimagined, but it's true!