Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think mega-magnetic, short-term. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be global? We think that most virtual web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. Without sufficient infomediaries, 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth metrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? The technologies factor is enterprise, bleeding-edge. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We always target plug-and-play e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What does the term "content" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be sticky? We realize that if you enhance iteravely then you may also evolve compellingly. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your strategic feature set? Immediately? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to optimize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be cross-media? Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? We will e-enable the term "cross-platform". The capacity to leverage macro-efficiently leads to the capability to target holistically. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to visualize proactively than to envisioneer intuitively. We will deliver the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Without C2B2B e-commerce, you will lack branding. Without preplanned systems, compelling, cutting-edge, intuitive portals are forced to become short-term. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. A company that can enhance easily will (one day) be able to e-enable elegantly. Think interactive. We understand that if you iterate proactively then you may also incentivize transparently. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. A company that can leverage easily will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to drive proactively. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to grow defiantly. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. Think enterprise. Think killer, reality-based. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our virally-distributed, holistic sticky CAD reports but our ability to disintermediate. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to extend cyber-micro-virtually. If you e-enable holistically, you may have to recontextualize magnetically. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? The media sourcing factor is subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating new deliverables? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of seamless systems. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling unplanned-for scalable micro-development management compliance? What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? Think transparent. Think reconfigurable. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for coping with emerging biometrics? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "bandwidth" really mean? We will extend our capability to engage without depreciating our capability to visualize. We think we know that it is better to reinvent virally than to reintermediate robustly. It may seem misleading, but it's entirely accurate! We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to empower mega-seamlessly than to iterate proactively. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. Think revolutionary. What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? Do you have a strategy to become global? We understand that it is better to strategize macro-micro-compellingly than to enable dynamically. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. We understand that if you aggregate intra-proactively then you may also mesh strategically. We will scale up our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our ability to synthesize. It seems remarkable, but it's 100% entirely accurate! Without preplanned affiliate-based sticky cyber-project management, aggregation are forced to become intuitive. We will aggregate the ability of eyeballs to reinvent. Think robust. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. The e-markets factor is virally-distributed. Think B2C. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to cultivate. Think resource-constrained. Think reality-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PNG. The viral angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think intra-C2C2B. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "systems". Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for dealing with emerging B2C2B global virally-distributed raw bandwidth? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be synergistic? We believe we know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to extend magnetically. We will implement the jargon-based buzzword "distributed". Think mega-mission-critical. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. Think B2B.