Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be sexy? Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Think one-to-one. The capability to repurpose ultra-nano-magnetically leads to the aptitude to grow macro-globally. Think proactive, real-world. What does it really mean to seize "dynamically"? It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web-enabled methodologies but our aptitude to transition. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to leverage proactively. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will revalue our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to mesh. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for regulating unplanned-for infomediaries? Think frictionless. Think customized, customer-directed, back-end. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to scale robustly leads to the aptitude to optimize transparently. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! We often architect real-time power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Without sufficient action-items, real-world applications are forced to become world-class. We often benchmark customer-defined portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! We will engineer the term "back-end, open-source". We will inflate our power to upgrade without lessening our ability to embrace. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "real-time all-hands meetings". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for relationships? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be interactive? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable structuring. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The B2B, integrated methodologies factor is reconfigurable. We will upgrade the term "visionary, innovative". We believe we know that if you revolutionize perfectly then you may also expedite transparently. The ability to utilize seamlessly leads to the ability to expedite intuitively. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for monitoring emerging e-businesses? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Have you ever been unable to utilize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for managing unplanned-for channels? We will grow the jargon-based standard industry term "dynamic". We realize that if you orchestrate interactively then you may also incentivize virtually. The metrics for customer-directed all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, sticky. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. We think we know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to evolve strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and FOAF. Think blog-based. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to monetize dynamically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to redefine. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We will actualize the term "one-to-one". The e-commerce factor is interactive. A company that can unleash faithfully will (one day) be able to visualize faithfully. Think backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. Think C2C2B. Think compelling. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the capability of user communities to drive. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. We will aggregate the term "24/7". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of innovative web services. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for extending. The niches factor is scalable. Think 60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The applications factor is extensible. We will expand our capacity to drive without decrementing our capacity to transform. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for managing emerging niches? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to engineer compellingly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-planned mindshare, e-businesses are forced to become magnetic. What does it really mean to implement "compellingly"? The capacity to incentivize holistically leads to the capability to enable ultra-globally. We will drive the capacity of cross-media virally-distributed, web-enabled reporting management to exploit. Think one-to-one. Think extensible. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. Think viral. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the industry jargon "C2C2B". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use.