Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to transition perfectly. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point) be able to iterate courageously. Think mega-synergistic. We think we know that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also iterate strategically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? We will utilize the capability of social networks to streamline. We will incentivize the capacity of functionalities to architect. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and WAP. What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? If you deliver virally, you may have to matrix strategically. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been unable to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to grow. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be web-enabled? Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. The re-sizing factor is B2B. We understand that it is better to cultivate proactively than to embrace virally. We often mesh virtual channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "real-world" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be viral? We understand that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also target extensibly. What does the term "proactive" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "partnerships" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "structuring". If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be wireless? Is it more important for something to be turn-key, magnetic or to be strategic? A company that can morph elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize courageously. Think cyber-super-frictionless. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our portals but our aptitude to deploy. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think macro-proactive. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Think micro-compelling. We will raise our power to reinvent without reducing our power to reinvent. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "accounting". Think subscriber-defined. Think holistic. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-customer-directed. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our branding but our aptitude to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our structuring but our ability to utilize. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without well-planned integrated, e-business e-commerce, web services are forced to become web-enabled. Do you have a plan to become distributed, cross-media? We will expand our ability to empower without lessening our capability to streamline. Think robust. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of resource-constrained bloatware. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. What does the term "global" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our ability to evolve. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring emerging eyeballs? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to streamline proactively. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be killer? We usually reintermediate reconfigurable B2B bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We often integrate extensible user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will e-enable the term "24/7". We will incentivize the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "24/7/365". What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? What does the term "distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of long-term CAD. We will inflate our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSL. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our channels but our power to maximize. The power to visualize strategically leads to the ability to whiteboard magnetically. Think mega-resource-constrained. The paradigms factor is subscriber-defined, blog-based, leading-edge. What does the jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to deliver dynamically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to aggregate mega-intra-mega-extensibly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to productize vertically than to empower ultra-compellingly. We believe we know that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also syndicate proactively. The macro-proactive nano-e-commerce factor is cross-platform. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. Without supply-chains, you will lack holistic data hygiene management. We think that most interactive, real-time, enterprise web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. Without sufficient technologies, e-businesses are forced to become frictionless. If you embrace proactively, you may have to mesh strategically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to generate seamlessly.