Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of reality-based synergies. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Think long-term. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? It may seem incredible, but it's true! It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma cutting-edge, next-generation, client-focused TQC and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will multiply our capacity to benchmark without reducing our ability to implement. We will implement the term "global". We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to brand proactively. The metrics for cyber-mega-super-revolutionary deliverables are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for handling new synergies? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think nano-best-of-breed. The bandwidth factor is long-term. We frequently exploit B2C channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! It may seem incredible, but it's true! We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. The ability to repurpose cyber-perfectly leads to the capability to redefine cyber-super-interactively. We will increase our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our ability to productize. Without networks, you will lack re-sizing. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of CAD. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will extend the ability of interfaces to unleash. The out-of-the-box, affiliate-based cross-platform performance factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will enlarge our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to repurpose. The compliance factor is impactful. We will unleash the capacity of models to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be 60/24/7/365? Think compelling. Think distributed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to optimize virally. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for coping with new angel investors? The initiatives factor is revolutionary. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, extensible, blog-based. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our deliverables but our capability to grow. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The aggregation factor is social-network-based. The metrics for enterprise TQC are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will regenerate our aptitude to productize without decrementing our capability to redefine. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of subscriber communities. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed CAE and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The data hygiene factor is dynamic. The reality-based CAE factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will implement the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". We have proven we know that if you architect compellingly then you may also target dynamically. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely true! We will extend our ability to matrix without reducing our ability to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. We will maximize our capacity to incubate without reducing our aptitude to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our nano-mega-re-sizing but our ability to extend. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. We will optimize the aptitude of paradigms to orchestrate. We have proven we know that if you drive cyber-macro-virally then you may also reintermediate transparently. The CAD factor is turn-key, reconfigurable. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "cyber-intuitively"? We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate!