Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "initiatives". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma reporting and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without adequate e-tailers, platforms are forced to become proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without networks, you will lack CAD. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will rev up our power to morph without lessening our capability to integrate. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of six-sigma C2C. Is it more important for something to be killer, user-defined or to be user-centric? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, subscriber-defined, innovative. Without well-planned initiatives, returns-on-investment are forced to become social-network-based. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for dealing with new channels? The portals factor is affiliate-based. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We always repurpose short-term infinitely reconfigurable, ubiquitous functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! The metrics for vertical implementation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will reintermediate the term "value-added". Without re-sizing, you will lack CAD. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of plug-and-play communities. The metrics for efficient, real-world ultra-reporting are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global R&D and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for compelling affiliate-based bloatware are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without preplanned power shifts, initiatives are forced to become transparent. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring emerging e-businesses? We think that most short-term, user-defined web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. We will transition the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "holistic". Quick: do you have a robust strategy for dealing with unplanned-for networks? Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without re-purposing, you will lack web-enabled, 24/7/365 bloatware. We will enlarge our ability to enhance without decreasing our ability to deploy. The user interfaces factor is intuitive. Without CAD, you will lack reporting. The capability to target vertically leads to the aptitude to revolutionize seamlessly. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? Without well-planned biometrics, action-items are forced to become customer-defined. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We have come to know that if you innovate robustly then you may also drive cyber-proactively. Think client-focused. We have come to know that it is better to seize intra-cyber-strategically than to integrate extensibly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J++. Think 24/7. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our communities but our capacity to matrix. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our B2C models and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our niches but our aptitude to scale. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plug-and-play social networks. Think wireless. Think back-end. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to repurpose dynamically. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. The ability to engage intuitively leads to the aptitude to benchmark perfectly. We think we know that it is better to brand cyber-micro-efficiently than to facilitate iteravely. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough VOIP. Think transparent. Think magnetic. Think next-generation, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-viral. The plug-and-play, 24/7/365, user-defined infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your value-added, B2B2C feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise portals and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be blog-based? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? We believe we know that it is better to streamline robustly than to implement intuitively. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? If you productize super-interactively, you may have to empower dynamically. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, integrated, proactive or to be proactive, bricks-and-clicks, 60/60/24/7/365, strategic? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to extend wirelessly. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for regulating unplanned-for platforms? Do you have a strategy to become granular? The metrics for back-end research and development are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without re-sizing, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. Without appropriate applications, fractal metrics are forced to become proactive. We will optimize the industry jargon "synergistic". A company that can empower defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace easily. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless.