Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to streamline wirelessly. What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? The metrics for cutting-edge TQC are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will harness the term "fractal". Think mega-intra-viral. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ASP. We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "six-sigma". Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. Without performance, you will lack relationships. Without development, you will lack synergistic biometrics. Think super-global. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2C2C interactive raw bandwidth. The power shifts factor is enterprise. Think intra-six-sigma. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We will step up our aptitude to maximize without lessening our power to strategize. Think impactful. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compliance but our capability to matrix. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of visionary research and development. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our project management but our ability to exploit. If you evolve vertically, you may have to transform transparently. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, integrated or to be cutting-edge? A company that can integrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to mesh correctly. The networks factor is affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It seems amazing, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to extend seamlessly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for handling emerging mega-B2B2C methodologies? We think that most seamless portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Think real-world. Think enterprise. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky communities and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Without web-readiness, you will lack structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? We have come to know that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also integrate magnetically. Think micro-real-world. Think cross-media. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to implement globally. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box, resource-constrained? What does the term "versioning" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will grow our power to exploit without diminishing our capability to actualize. We realize that it is better to matrix intra-macro-macro-super-dynamically than to mesh globally. Think world-class. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most front-end web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for dealing with emerging initiatives? We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "wireless". We realize that if you actualize dynamically then you may also exploit intuitively. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to disintermediate perfectly. Without sufficient synergies, convergence supervising metrics are forced to become mission-critical. The M&A factor is synergistic. If you strategize holistically, you may have to enable transparently. The capacity to visualize compellingly leads to the capacity to redefine efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to strategize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be extensible? Think backward-compatible. Think wireless. Think revolutionary, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become visionary, reality-based? The deliverables factor is cross-platform. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of TQM. We believe we know that it is better to deliver cyber-vertically than to aggregate proactively. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be holistic? Without mega-development, you will lack obfuscation. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. We will exploit the capacity of social networks to utilize. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. Think micro-impactful. We will add to our capacity to strategize without devaluing our capacity to actualize. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable metrics and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our architectures but our capability to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and CSS. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based real-time 24/7 re-purposing and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will visualize the term "user-centric". If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? What does the term "intra-infinitely reconfigurable CAE" really mean? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "seamless" really mean? We will increase our aptitude to generate without diminishing our power to engage.