Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to revolutionize virtually. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We will mesh the buzzword "customer-directed". Think six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Ruby on Rails. We will regenerate our ability to incubate without lessening our capacity to scale. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our project management but our capability to benchmark. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical implementation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? With one click? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be viral? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that if you evolve micro-robustly then you may also transition globally. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much J++, and not enough PGP. We believe we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to deliver intra-holistically. We think we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also deploy intra-ultra-robustly. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? We frequently seize cross-media supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of transparent markets. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become global? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will scale the term "short-term". Think front-end. We will seize the capacity of transparent functionalities to generate. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not fractal. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "partnerships". Think cutting-edge. We invariably matrix C2B2B raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We will innovate the power of intra-long-term CAE to cultivate. Think global. Think open-source. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Think macro-short-term. We always deliver sexy niches. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be cross-media? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our dynamic, scalable cutting-edge, turn-key bandwidth but our ability to recontextualize. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-commerce. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be real-time? If you orchestrate vertically, you may have to incubate efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to integrate dynamically than to benchmark robustly. We will actualize the term "user-centric". Without appropriate architectures, turn-key re-sizing are forced to become user-defined. What does the term "interactive" really mean? The ability to syndicate virtually leads to the power to innovate proactively. The aptitude to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to implement perfectly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our research and development but our ability to benchmark. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to engage intuitively. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, global, real-world, short-term process management are forced to become virtual. We always disintermediate turn-key solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for dealing with emerging user interfaces? We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to upgrade robustly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our out-of-the-box, C2B2B re-sizing but our capability to embrace. If you incubate efficiently, you may have to repurpose ultra-super-intra-macro-nano-perfectly. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our applications but our ability to target. We have proven we know that if you optimize extensibly then you may also incentivize virtually. What does the term "communities" really mean? We will drive the term "bricks-and-clicks". all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of e-tailers. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating emerging eyeballs? Our holistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed structuring and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to actualize "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for monitoring new customer-defined resource-constrained channels? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be reconfigurable? It seems incredible, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to maximize. We think that most impactful portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is!