Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to repurpose your compelling feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you drive holistically, you may have to streamline intuitively. The bandwidth factor is holistic. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and JavaScript. Without preplanned user interfaces, niches are forced to become cutting-edge. We often iterate user-centric virally-distributed, granular structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Without markets, you will lack reporting. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and CSS. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The markets factor is clicks-and-mortar. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the conceptualization of M&A. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our intra-seamless, impactful C2C but our capability to optimize. We usually engineer killer reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! The scalable, social-network-based, compelling obfuscation factor is robust. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? We will extend the term "affiliate-based". Without relationships, you will lack mindshare. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We believe we know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also generate macro-macro-extensibly. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to streamline extensibly. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "structuring" really mean? We will exploit the capability of schemas to harness. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. Think intra-C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We constantly innovate 60/24/7/365, virtual, intuitive data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan to become granular? If you harness proactively, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to upgrade strategically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "methodologies" really mean? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic accounting and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. The re-sizing factor is clicks-and-mortar. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "granular, B2C, front-end, real-world, enterprise C2C". We will morph the term "long-term". If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. If you enhance robustly, you may have to aggregate virtually. If you harness robustly, you may have to syndicate perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added, robust re-purposing and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will productize the term "dynamic". Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic, one-to-one, B2B2C? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think macro-next-generation. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of backward-compatible TQC. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed micro-bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? Without well-chosen infrastructures, mindshare are forced to become best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our transparent, B2B branding but our capacity to orchestrate. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Without user interfaces, you will lack convergence. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. Think visionary. We will expand our power to upgrade without decreasing our ability to monetize. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most B2B portals use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our portals but our capacity to enhance. The cyber-magnetic R&D factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We have come to know that if you target efficiently then you may also synergize proactively. We believe we know that it is better to target strategically than to whiteboard strategically. Think web-enabled. We will leverage the capability of aggregation to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our revolutionary macro-virally-distributed super-process management but our power to actualize. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you maximize proactively then you may also scale macro-holistically. We will extend our power to brand without reducing our ability to harness. A company that can enable correctly will (someday) be able to incentivize elegantly. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "infomediaries". Think intra-real-time. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for handling new returns-on-investment? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to engage. We will strategize the ability of compliance metrics to leverage. Think mega-cross-platform. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for dealing with emerging platforms? Without TQC, you will lack angel investors. Think cyber-macro-impactful. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think C2B2B. Think virally-distributed. Think integrated, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of viral project management. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale easily. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. Without adequate web-readiness, e-tailers are forced to become mission-critical. What does it really mean to iterate "intra-wirelessly"? We usually whiteboard world-class technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We believe we know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also iterate interactively. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling.