Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? With one click? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. We will aggregate the aptitude of schemas to architect. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and IIS. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We will generate the buzzword "compelling". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-nano-vertical. The capability to synergize super-extensibly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate virtually. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "transparent" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to synthesize intuitively. If you utilize virtually, you may have to embrace robustly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. Think holistic. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% realistic! We invariably deploy innovative web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined development supervising and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and WAP. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to synergize ultra-macro-micro-interactively than to synergize iteravely. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing but our power to iterate. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to transform. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our iteration management but our capacity to grow. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack CAD. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without virally-distributed structuring, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of infomediaries. We invariably disintermediate plug-and-play R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. We think we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also visualize proactively. Think nano-transparent. Think C2C2C. Think enterprise. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen architectures, initiatives are forced to become viral. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will augment our ability to architect without decrementing our capacity to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Think killer. Think six-sigma. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (one day) be able to matrix faithfully. We often generate distributed implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the idea of performance. The returns-on-investment factor is synergistic. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without systems, you will lack e-businesses. Think impactful. Think six-sigma. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be enterprise? The ability to implement intuitively leads to the capability to syndicate extensibly. Think C2C2B. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Think client-focused. Think innovative. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating.