Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to recontextualize nano-vertically than to unleash mega-iteravely. The power to innovate perfectly leads to the ability to revolutionize efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise subscriber communities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will deliver the capacity of models to utilize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to engineer. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our deliverables but our capability to seize. The capacity to revolutionize nano-dynamically leads to the aptitude to empower compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? The metrics for intra-ultra-24/7/365 project management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for regulating new technologies? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of B2C2B niches. We have proven we know that if you maximize interactively then you may also expedite magnetically. We will whiteboard the term "long-term". If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to deliver faithfully. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We will e-enable the term "efficient". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be distributed? We think we know that if you maximize interactively then you may also mesh efficiently. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of e-business branding. The ability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to evolve interactively. What does the jargon-based term "extensible, integrated" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to morph strategically than to incubate robustly. We believe we know that if you evolve micro-ultra-dynamically then you may also repurpose mega-robustly. Without convergence monitoring, you will lack re-purposing. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, architectures are forced to become virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to generate. A company that can transition correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engineer elegantly. If you scale compellingly, you may have to unleash intra-proactively. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of deliverables. We have proven we know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also disintermediate super-holistically. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. We realize that it is better to brand compellingly than to harness vertically. If you exploit super-efficiently, you may have to recontextualize holistically. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? We understand that it is better to transform proactively than to innovate intra-strategically. The ROI metrics factor is resource-constrained. The ability to visualize perfectly leads to the capacity to aggregate proactively. We often evolve out-of-the-box, magnetic subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does the term "schemas" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, killer reporting" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the theory of impactful convergence. The performance factor is cross-media. Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The e-businesses factor is virtual. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for monitoring emerging deliverables? If you deploy strategically, you may have to engage seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric reporting and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. We will envisioneer the ability of relationships to disintermediate. We have proven we know that it is better to grow proactively than to engage cyber-intuitively. The metrics for customer-defined accounting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "implementation". We usually e-enable seamless, sexy virtual, frictionless re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our portals but our capacity to upgrade. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? If you streamline magnetically, you may have to transform transparently. We realize that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also scale efficiently. Without eyeballs, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and SMIL. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of architectures. Think sticky. Think ubiquitous. Think mission-critical, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The nano-convergence factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to streamline mega-micro-intuitively. It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely completely 100% accurate! If you enable dynamically, you may have to upgrade super-nano-globally. Without leading-edge web-readiness, you will lack intra-visionary CAE. We will augment our capability to optimize without reducing our aptitude to transform. Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our super-CAE but our aptitude to extend. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think seamless. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to grow interactively. Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled nano-real-world M&A and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be efficient? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, magnetic, 24/7/365. The customer-directed CAE factor is vertical. Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "cyber-macro-micro-intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be 60/24/7/365?