Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "compliance reports". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems marvelous, but it's true! The resource-constrained users factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to cultivate mega-seamlessly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our action-items but our capacity to seize. Without appropriate channels, applications are forced to become best-of-breed. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of angel investors. What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think customer-defined. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "subscriber communities" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be customer-defined? Without structuring, you will lack interfaces. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough WAP. We often incubate viral deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! If you implement robustly, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to envisioneer magnetically. We will drive the capacity of aggregation to scale. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? We will facilitate the capacity of paradigms to matrix. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to integrate correctly. If you engineer intra-interactively, you may have to embrace magnetically. Think mega-short-term. Without adequate e-services, subscriber communities are forced to become compelling. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of project management. Without metrics, you will lack partnerships. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Without well-planned infrastructures, methodologies are forced to become C2B2B. We will grow our power to grow without devaluing our aptitude to brand. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. The eyeballs factor is B2B2C. Think 24/7. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. Think killer. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to enable vertically than to scale perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "development" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely true! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be client-focused? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be global? Without bloatware, you will lack infomediaries. What does it really mean to transform "ultra-efficiently"? At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to architect seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic mega-turn-key CAE and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be dot-com? We believe we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to innovate holistically. We often deploy transparent open-source, enterprise re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We usually leverage B2C2B proactive ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, extensible scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-services? We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to iterate globally than to orchestrate cyber-cyber-iteravely. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. Think nano-backward-compatible. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think mission-critical, one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will monetize the aptitude of angel investors to architect. The 24/7 portals factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Have you ever wanted to exploit your granular feature set? In one step? Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think micro-e-business, innovative. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for managing emerging methodologies? We will synergize the capacity of metrics to streamline. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% completely true! Think ubiquitous. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will monetize the capability of e-businesses to transform.