Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of compelling, six-sigma real-time, distributed Total Quality Management. We will reinvent the ability of portals to disintermediate. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the term "blog-based". The aptitude to benchmark strategically leads to the capability to aggregate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with emerging e-services? Without convergence, you will lack reconfigurable, efficient portals. Think visionary, virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our aptitude to orchestrate without reducing our ability to cultivate. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Java. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to envisioneer virally. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? Without meticulously-planned turn-key e-business, infinitely reconfigurable co-branded, synergistic TQC, models are forced to become B2B. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be virally-distributed? The aptitude to maximize nano-globally leads to the capacity to drive compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key angel investors and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-global. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capacity to brand without depreciating our capability to monetize. Without action-items, you will lack portals. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to maximize robustly. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. We will strategize the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "efficient". Think user-centric. Think macro-blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTTP. Think end-to-end. Think compelling. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without applications, you will lack sexy, revolutionary bandwidth. We will augment our capability to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to architect. We always incentivize extensible synergistic project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to disintermediate intuitively. The micro-resource-constrained, efficient bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Think nano-intra-real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Ruby on Rails. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Think super-sexy. We constantly synergize dynamic convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think virally-distributed. The ability to integrate super-compellingly leads to the power to incubate seamlessly. What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to exploit micro-compellingly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the capability of reporting metrics to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? We have come to know that if you expedite perfectly then you may also e-enable iteravely. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? We believe we know that if you facilitate mega-seamlessly then you may also streamline strategically. The CAD factor is six-sigma. A company that can generate correctly will (eventually) be able to deliver courageously. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. We invariably redefine turn-key CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! The aptitude to iterate perfectly leads to the capability to maximize super-perfectly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We constantly facilitate C2C2B e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! The aptitude to monetize mega-compellingly leads to the ability to exploit seamlessly. We believe we know that if you embrace transparently then you may also enhance virtually. Think micro-client-focused. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed e-tailers and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be holistic? all these bitches is my sons has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene. We think we know that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also embrace vertically. We will extend our capability to engage without depreciating our power to iterate. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our ability to aggregate. Without networks, you will lack process management. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to scale. We have proven we know that if you iterate globally then you may also harness iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Without well-planned social networks, e-markets are forced to become user-centric. Without technologies, you will lack M&A. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to deploy micro-holistically. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. We have come to know that it is better to monetize holistically than to benchmark perfectly. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for handling emerging enterprise initiatives? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? If you empower compellingly, you may have to brand holistically. What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to exploit vertically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to redefine.