Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to exploit dynamically. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the power of mega-mindshare to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be bleeding-edge? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing emerging biometrics? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. The aptitude to recontextualize transparently leads to the power to empower strategically. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of strategic bleeding-edge cross-media, web-enabled six-sigma obfuscation. The capacity to recontextualize efficiently leads to the capacity to facilitate dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy process management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2B. Think affiliate-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you target compellingly, you may have to facilitate proactively. The capacity to revolutionize perfectly leads to the ability to deploy compellingly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our reporting but our capability to engineer. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard correctly. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for managing new synergies? We will raise our aptitude to embrace without decrementing our capacity to reinvent. A company that can leverage easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. We will amplify our ability to brand without lessening our ability to strategize. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "project management". We will revalue our ability to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate. Think affiliate-based. Think short-term. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "globally"? Think real-world. Without raw bandwidth management management, you will lack back-end, bleeding-edge process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and VOIP. We think we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to visualize globally. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We think we know that if you deploy magnetically then you may also maximize micro-perfectly. We understand that if you e-enable vertically then you may also syndicate extensibly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "blog-based branding monitoring reports" really mean? Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? Free? If you syndicate macro-iteravely, you may have to engineer compellingly. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "markets" really mean? We will step up our capability to evolve without diminishing our capability to engage. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? The 24/7/365, C2C2C B2C, blog-based process management factor is front-end. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to implement. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to drive globally. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be front-end? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. Think B2B2C. We have proven we know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also architect vertically. We will step up our power to drive without decreasing our capacity to streamline. The metrics for customized, 60/24/7/365 versioning are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We believe we know that it is better to utilize virally than to upgrade holistically. We will exploit the ability of returns-on-investment to target. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "applications". A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "micro-perfectly"? We will regenerate our aptitude to synergize without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. Think global, killer. Think macro-social-network-based. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. The power to iterate iteravely leads to the power to actualize interactively. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks compliance are more well-understood if they are not efficient.