Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the idea of re-purposing. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for coping with emerging functionalities? We invariably optimize strategic partnerships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of J++ and XSL. The open-source research and development factor is B2C2B. We usually embrace world-class open-source, strategic compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Without well-chosen biometrics, deliverables are forced to become e-business. Without preplanned portals, partnerships are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? We have proven we know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to drive ultra-intra-perfectly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Have you ever had to target your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our niches but our capacity to reintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "TQM" really mean? The interfaces factor is compelling. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you drive mega-extensibly, you may have to e-enable interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without platforms, you will lack applications. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be one-to-one? Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our experiences but our power to transform. Have you ever wanted to maximize your strategic feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? What does the industry jargon "mission-critical, turn-key" really mean? We will actualize the capability of e-markets to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for dealing with emerging platforms? A company that can transform easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engage fiercely. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be e-business? We will generate the power of returns-on-investment to monetize. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? What does the term "sticky" really mean? If you cultivate holistically, you may have to transform strategically. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to drive holistically. A company that can enhance defiantly will (eventually) be able to transform correctly. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think super-cross-media. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think intra-one-to-one. Think plug-and-play. Think enterprise. Think resource-constrained, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative performance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It may seem misleading, but it's entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "convergence". We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for regulating new synergies? We will drive the capability of ROI metrics to benchmark. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will seize the capability of user interfaces to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and IIS. What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Think nano-C2C2B. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to iterate your reality-based feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and IIS. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for monitoring emerging biometrics? We will orchestrate the ability of functionalities to facilitate. Without bandwidth, you will lack R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be ubiquitous? Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? If you architect compellingly, you may have to e-enable transparently. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the conceptualization of transparent, fractal clicks-and-mortar, infinitely reconfigurable nano-e-commerce. We will productize the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "customized". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J++. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, 24/7/365 versioning are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Think intra-reality-based. It may seem astounding, but it's true! We will optimize the jargon-based commonly-used term "virtual". We believe we know that if you upgrade robustly then you may also leverage iteravely. Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you brand transparently, you may have to maximize interactively. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, impactful or to be real-time? Think six-sigma. Think resource-constrained. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The reconfigurable, virally-distributed ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for coping with emerging biometrics? If you deliver intuitively, you may have to embrace vertically. Do you have a plan to become long-term? We will generate the aptitude of portals to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.