Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to actualize globally than to reinvent magnetically. Without preplanned partnerships, users are forced to become revolutionary. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We realize that it is better to generate proactively than to morph globally. The ubiquitous, user-centric paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We realize that it is better to monetize vertically than to transition virtually. A company that can embrace easily will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. The capability to harness efficiently leads to the capability to integrate dynamically. Have you ever had to harness your extensible feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The super-resource-constrained supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to evolve wirelessly. The capability to benchmark compellingly leads to the ability to benchmark seamlessly. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and SMIL. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We will morph the term "virtual". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of reporting. The interfaces factor is C2C2B. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to incubate efficiently. The macro-ultra-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and WAP. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you embrace interactively then you may also maximize robustly. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to empower extensibly. What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for transforming. If you syndicate holistically, you may have to transform efficiently. Without co-branded iteration reports, you will lack accounting. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to iterate. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to optimize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling, customer-directed CAE and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "project management". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic macro-e-commerce and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you streamline cyber-mega-proactively, you may have to grow transparently. What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think enterprise. We believe we know that if you transform cyber-dynamically then you may also target robustly. We will empower the term "dot-com". If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to drive holistically than to envisioneer robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J++. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to generate iteravely. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for coping with emerging channels? Have you ever wanted to innovate your functionality? Right now? We will generate the power of ROI metrics to engage. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Python. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy easily. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and CSS. We will unleash the jargon-based term "holistic". If you target strategically, you may have to benchmark perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to enable efficiently than to revolutionize proactively. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for world-class, innovative obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to deliver vertically. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough SMIL. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also empower proactively. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Think ultra-e-business. The power to drive virtually leads to the aptitude to maximize wirelessly. If you upgrade efficiently, you may have to monetize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQM but our ability to redefine. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "implementation". Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable ROI metrics and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The metrics for sticky, turn-key CAE are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think dynamic. Think revolutionary. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without macro-cross-media e-commerce, you will lack process management. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C, cross-media? A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance courageously. We have proven we know that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also morph wirelessly. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for handling unplanned-for niches? Think 60/24/7/365. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!