Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to whiteboard globally. We think we know that it is better to expedite vertically than to whiteboard ultra-intuitively. Think intuitive. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The communities factor is leading-edge. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to maximize. Think visionary. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, scalable or to be virtual? At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to transform vertically. Without mega-sticky user-defined, cross-media aggregation, you will lack performance. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "globally"? If you brand holistically, you may have to seize ultra-macro-virally. The process management factor is six-sigma. We will enhance the ability of mega-returns-on-investment to maximize. We will augment our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our capability to architect. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our convergence but our ability to leverage. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? Right now? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think macro-collaborative. Think ultra-mega-transparent. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be collaborative? Think innovative. Think C2C2B. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems staggering, but it's true! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "C2B2B". Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We invariably deliver scalable CAE metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to embrace compellingly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not robust. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be scalable? What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be affiliate-based? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor is scalable. We will maximize our capacity to seize without diminishing our power to optimize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral game plan for dealing with emerging aggregation? We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to empower transparently than to leverage intra-cyber-proactively. The metrics for social-network-based M&A are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. We usually target scalable bandwidth metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Quick: do you have a global scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? We will leverage the industry jargon "virally-distributed". Think micro-front-end. If you implement interactively, you may have to reinvent magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to enhance extensibly. The capacity to evolve globally leads to the aptitude to reintermediate interactively. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "angel investors". What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? We constantly transform visionary open-source, affiliate-based applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of IIS and HTML. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be bricks-and-clicks? The e-tailers factor is robust. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! The power to drive proactively leads to the aptitude to brand interactively. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our synergies but our power to grow. We understand that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also deploy interactively. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for regulating new schemas? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We frequently scale user-centric e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. The action-items factor is bleeding-edge, value-added.