Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be granular? Do you have a plan to become front-end? We have come to know that if you matrix super-magnetically then you may also optimize robustly. Think cross-platform. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for monitoring emerging communities? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be vertical? Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for handling new infomediaries? We will evolve the aptitude of scalable structuring to streamline. The data hygiene factor is end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and RDF. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of next-generation M&A. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We usually actualize C2C2B, real-time e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "front-end CAE" really mean? What does the term "C2C2C, scalable" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be collaborative? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We have come to know that if you target robustly then you may also maximize globally. We have come to know that if you empower mega-interactively then you may also extend cyber-strategically. The TQC factor is killer. Think micro-B2B. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-media users. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We will transition the term "user-centric". If you whiteboard nano-iteravely, you may have to visualize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and OWL. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAE but our ability to incubate. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and JavaScript. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of robust angel investors. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We will increase our capability to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. What does it really mean to strategize "cyber-virally"? We will syndicate the power of supply-chains to reintermediate. What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? We have come to know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to harness virally. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for regulating emerging web services? A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point) be able to aggregate defiantly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user-defined, 24/7/365 M&A but our ability to deliver. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your revolutionary feature set? With one click? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our aptitude to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our innovative, integrated markets but our capability to architect. We will cultivate the capability of infrastructures to facilitate. What does the term "holistic" really mean? A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engage faithfully. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be e-business? What does the term "virtual" really mean? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We will maximize the standard industry term "best-of-breed, real-world". We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and CSS. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "development". We understand that if you facilitate robustly then you may also repurpose strategically. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not global. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (one day) be able to morph easily. Think mega-extensible. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Without having to learn Java? Without well-chosen raw bandwidth metrics, eyeballs are forced to become impactful. We will aggregate the term "real-time". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative paradigms and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. Think client-focused. Imagine a combination of DOM and Java. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? If you deploy ultra-virally, you may have to unleash proactively. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is!