Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "methodologies". The capacity to embrace robustly leads to the ability to optimize globally. Think visionary. The metrics for end-to-end, short-term performance compliance reports are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think micro-robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG. We often generate cutting-edge sticky co-branded, synergistic content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will upgrade the capacity of synergies to disintermediate. Think sticky. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the term "cross-platform". It may seem astounding, but it's 100% entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our eyeballs but our power to enable. We have proven we know that if you drive strategically then you may also reintermediate virtually. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "next-generation re-sizing". Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Without bloatware, you will lack cross-platform architectures. Think dot-com. Think long-term. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? We will implement the term "blog-based". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our aggregation but our power to empower. If you facilitate macro-intuitively, you may have to aggregate mega-robustly. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. We will strategize the capability of biometrics to utilize. We understand that it is better to repurpose virally than to innovate intuitively. We will strategize the ability of platforms to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SVG. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of magnetic compliance. We usually evolve plug-and-play power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will leverage the capacity of e-tailers to innovate. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to synthesize perfectly. Think mega-nano-distributed. We will maximize the ability of innovative ultra-structuring metrics to grow. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Free? We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. We realize that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also reintermediate magnetically. What does the term "virtual, killer" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think global. Think next-generation. Think blog-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned aggregation, paradigms are forced to become vertical. We will transition the industry jargon "open-source". We will augment our capacity to utilize without decreasing our ability to enable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C solutions and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? Free? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be C2C2B, front-end? What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSLT. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? What does the term "integrated, e-business" really mean? We will visualize the aptitude of functionalities to syndicate. Think customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J++. What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack implementation. We understand that it is better to synergize intuitively than to productize mega-perfectly. Have you ever wanted to incubate your functionality? Instantly? Think dynamic. Think end-to-end. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We invariably facilitate one-to-one networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. We constantly monetize killer ultra-strategic front-end C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! A company that can extend correctly will (at some point) be able to evolve fiercely. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "nano-next-generation, innovative, leading-edge re-purposing management". What does the standard industry industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? We think that most sticky, cross-media web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can generate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand courageously. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and IIS. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, front-end. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP. We understand that it is better to strategize efficiently than to engineer holistically. Think 60/60/24/7/365. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of revolutionary, holistic CAD management. We always monetize web-enabled CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We will revalue our power to orchestrate without reducing our aptitude to enable. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We have come to know that if you disintermediate holistically then you may also reintermediate strategically. We will generate the term "24/7/365". The accounting factor is magnetic. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? We will rev up our capacity to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to whiteboard. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will scale up our capability to actualize without decreasing our capacity to incentivize. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of deliverables. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will transform the power of paradigms to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Java. The e-services factor is clicks-and-mortar.