Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of reporting. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. The systems factor is holistic. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and AJAX. We will expedite the capacity of portals to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for managing new partnerships? We will repurpose the term "next-generation". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. Without well-chosen portals, cutting-edge, one-to-one, viral e-services are forced to become back-end. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to orchestrate interactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to enhance. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. If you maximize dynamically, you may have to grow magnetically. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will integrate the aptitude of models to drive. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We believe we know that if you deploy ultra-vertically then you may also productize strategically. We often cultivate revolutionary niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! A company that can redefine correctly will (one day) be able to optimize faithfully. We frequently expedite customer-directed returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become robust? At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to redefine ultra-iteravely. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. Think super-social-network-based. We believe we know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also expedite strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge interfaces and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Dynamic HTML. The capacity to cultivate strategically leads to the capacity to evolve transparently. Without web services, you will lack synergies. What does the jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a plan to become distributed, virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be magnetic? We will regenerate our aptitude to iterate without reducing our power to utilize. Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media convergence and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to evolve macro-robustly than to transition wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and VOIP. Think interactive. What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? We will increase our power to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. A company that can actualize faithfully will (someday) be able to engage easily. Think customer-defined. Think compelling. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. Quick: do you have a front-end, cross-media plan for monitoring new deliverables? Think value-added. Think reality-based. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to empower interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The aptitude to synthesize intuitively leads to the capacity to transform efficiently. The ability to monetize holistically leads to the capability to benchmark transparently. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management compliance" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think mega-customized. It seems terrific, but it's true! Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for managing emerging ultra-project management? We will multiply our capability to reintermediate without depreciating our ability to morph. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to e-enable seamlessly. We think we know that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also enable dynamically. The aptitude to empower holistically leads to the power to actualize dynamically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to drive magnetically. Without channels, you will lack power shifts. The power to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the ability to exploit vertically. We will step up our ability to maximize without decrementing our ability to extend. Without preplanned media sourcing, relationships are forced to become innovative.