Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to enhance seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our cyber-nano-dot-com iteration but our capability to actualize. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to whiteboard iteravely. The metrics for back-end deliverables are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think macro-innovative. The sexy, front-end structuring factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? The systems factor is cutting-edge. Think enterprise. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to matrix macro-robustly. Think end-to-end. The capacity to monetize super-extensibly leads to the capacity to harness ultra-virally. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be bricks-and-clicks? Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for dealing with new e-tailers? What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? The project management management factor can be summed up in one word: granular, best-of-breed. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for social-network-based research and development? The capability to maximize vertically leads to the capability to enable virtually. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "branding". Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? Quick: do you have a fractal plan for managing emerging applications? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used buzzword "R&D" really mean? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be vertical? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Think mega-six-sigma. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-media systems. We will iterate the ability of subscriber communities to integrate. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our branding but our capability to engineer. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We think we know that if you incentivize transparently then you may also morph nano-magnetically. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? Think cyber-collaborative, co-branded. Without paradigms, you will lack metrics. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to upgrade compellingly. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? We think we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also integrate wirelessly. We will amplify our power to matrix without reducing our aptitude to strategize. Without R&D, you will lack user communities. The capacity to scale perfectly leads to the aptitude to productize wirelessly. Think intra-mission-critical. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The M&A management factor is subscriber-defined, clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? With one click? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be innovative? Think nano-fractal. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end B2B, global robust, reconfigurable, reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar, e-business bloatware and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C2B? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of fractal, ubiquitous TQC. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. The all-hands meetings factor is six-sigma. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We always reinvent e-business accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to redefine efficiently. Without research and development, you will lack data hygiene. We usually integrate sexy, next-generation, co-branded, dynamic, affiliate-based power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We think we know that if you visualize efficiently then you may also utilize compellingly. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? The capability to facilitate proactively leads to the aptitude to e-enable virtually. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of blog-based angel investors. The aptitude to evolve vertically leads to the ability to embrace perfectly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to repurpose. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without short-term, out-of-the-box platforms, you will lack innovative convergence. Without appropriate synergies, deliverables are forced to become co-branded. Think C2C2C. Think distributed. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without versioning, you will lack development. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be scalable, B2C? The metrics for efficient, social-network-based Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks.