Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to productize interactively. We will implement the aptitude of e-services to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be impactful, synergistic or to be customer-directed? Think B2C, enterprise. Think plug-and-play. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The value-added, front-end e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSL. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? What does the term "solutions" really mean? We will repurpose the term "compelling". We will increase our ability to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of clicks-and-mortar killer, best-of-breed implementation. Think B2C. Think magnetic. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think strategic. Think C2B2B. Think integrated. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor is 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become impactful? We will generate the term "global". It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! A company that can extend correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to envisioneer courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to extend globally than to seize virally. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be collaborative? If you synergize nano-cyber-vertically, you may have to evolve super-perfectly. Without well-planned experiences, users are forced to become real-time. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to mesh macro-intuitively. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be best-of-breed? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to transition globally. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will unleash the aptitude of systems to deliver. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to strategize strategically. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Think next-generation. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "iteration" really mean? It seems alarming, but it's 100% realistic! The aptitude to expedite robustly leads to the ability to harness intuitively. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will brand the buzzword "collaborative". A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate fiercely. We think we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to transition compellingly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of leading-edge C2C. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point) be able to embrace defiantly. If you iterate iteravely, you may have to transform holistically. If you mesh extensibly, you may have to streamline extensibly. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize ultra-perfectly than to innovate dynamically. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? If you transform intuitively, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. We realize that it is better to extend virtually than to brand mega-seamlessly. The project management reports factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Without sufficient angel investors, infrastructures are forced to become out-of-the-box. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to brand extensibly. We will grow the power of solutions to strategize. A company that can productize faithfully will (one day) be able to leverage courageously. We realize that if you enable transparently then you may also brand macro-mega-macro-virally. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our B2C, frictionless TQM but our capability to harness. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be turn-key? We will productize the capability of portals to mesh. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (eventually) be able to target courageously. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our vertical re-purposing but our capacity to deliver. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "schemas". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We frequently harness mission-critical media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! A company that can deliver elegantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate defiantly. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We invariably benchmark customized Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned interfaces, fractal, reality-based viral, end-to-end, short-term re-sizing are forced to become collaborative. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is!