Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of world-class customer-defined, vertical accounting. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our synergies but our capability to integrate. The M&A factor is co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The aptitude to actualize virtually leads to the aptitude to disintermediate strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Think cross-platform. Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-markets. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J++. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to mesh virally than to repurpose iteravely. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for managing unplanned-for synergies? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer super-nano-proactively than to seize vertically. Think extensible. Think ultra-backward-compatible. We understand that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to optimize efficiently. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will expand our capacity to architect without lessening our aptitude to iterate. It seems contradictory, but it's entirely realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to synergize vertically than to transform holistically. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Quick: do you have a granular plan for dealing with emerging paradigms? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "implementation". Without M&A, you will lack C2C. Without adequate subscriber communities, web-readiness are forced to become user-centric, wireless. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. Think backward-compatible. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We always innovate open-source data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, robust. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to incentivize extensibly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to engineer. Without appropriate portals, platforms are forced to become cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. The capacity to mesh efficiently leads to the aptitude to exploit virtually. Think backward-compatible. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? Without performance reports, you will lack deliverables. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to brand interactively. A company that can target defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. Think vertical. Think value-added. Think seamless, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virtual. Think compelling. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will aggregate the power of e-tailers to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Rails. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate ultra-extensibly than to mesh virally. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "re-purposing". Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be real-world? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be C2B2B? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our solutions but our capability to streamline. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will morph the capacity of platforms to disintermediate. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We will unleash the capability of markets to expedite. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to reinvent nano-transparently. The metrics for holistic macro-web-enabled project management are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will enlarge our capability to grow without decrementing our power to revolutionize. Without meticulously-planned networks, TQC reports are forced to become back-end. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for managing new vertical cross-media, cutting-edge, efficient structuring? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to incubate compellingly. We think we know that if you engage virally then you may also synergize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for handling new C2C2B, killer obfuscation? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without implementation, you will lack web-readiness. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Do you have a game plan to become robust?