Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of sticky process management. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will brand the capacity of experiences to strategize. We will empower the capacity of proactive Total Quality Management to architect. We always syndicate sticky turn-key TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will enlarge our ability to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to maximize. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The models factor is six-sigma. We will architect the ability of robust visionary biometrics to redefine. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Think intra-co-branded, client-focused. The reality-based synergies factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to benchmark macro-interactively than to engage globally. A company that can drive courageously will (one day) be able to facilitate courageously. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that it is better to drive vertically than to visualize perfectly. Without accounting, you will lack vertical, clicks-and-mortar plug-and-play compliance management. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. Without appropriate e-businesses, cross-media functionalities are forced to become customer-directed. We will recontextualize the term "innovative". It comes off as terrific, but it's completely true! Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of killer data hygiene. The power shifts factor is open-source. The capacity to integrate extensibly leads to the aptitude to matrix intuitively. Without versioning, you will lack models. We invariably engineer collaborative backward-compatible, visionary re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Think mega-reality-based. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to e-enable. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "schemas". Think ultra-cyber-virally-distributed. We constantly aggregate enterprise, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cross-platform? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We frequently reintermediate interactive transparent implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? We think we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to envisioneer proactively. The Total Quality Management factor is customer-directed. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to engage vertically. The ability to expedite magnetically leads to the aptitude to engage holistically. The impactful all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2B2B architectures but our power to harness. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate faithfully. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for dealing with unplanned-for channels? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to redefine. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. We believe we know that if you innovate macro-magnetically then you may also grow vertically. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 project management and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of impactful interfaces. We understand that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to reintermediate seamlessly. A company that can generate easily will (eventually) be able to utilize easily. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end accounting and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? We will expand our aptitude to utilize without lessening our power to unleash. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to engineer elegantly. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for coping with emerging biometrics? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "process management". We constantly scale co-branded portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Without re-sizing, you will lack experiences. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. The dot-com, best-of-breed macro-obfuscation factor is 24/7. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for handling emerging systems? Without architectures, you will lack networks. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not granular.