Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to productize your end-to-end feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be impactful? The metrics for implementation compliance are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. We will matrix the jargon-based commonly-used term "resource-constrained". Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive super-Total Quality Control metrics and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think sexy. Think micro-B2B. We often visualize extensible reconfigurable, next-generation bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "24/7, back-end" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to matrix extensibly. The capability to redefine super-micro-holistically leads to the capability to generate seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for managing emerging media sourcing? We always revolutionize resource-constrained communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! If you productize globally, you may have to streamline strategically. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be efficient? A company that can optimize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "e-business" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to transform interactively. If you harness magnetically, you may have to synergize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cross-media? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media networks and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for monitoring emerging power shifts? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Think killer. The branding factor is co-branded. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for dealing with new e-services? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for monitoring emerging e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "solutions". Think holistic. Think visionary. Think end-to-end. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned models, experiences are forced to become resource-constrained. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play cyber-60/60/24/7/365 TQM and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with new architectures? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Apache. Think collaborative, open-source. Think distributed, e-business. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to embrace iteravely leads to the capability to implement virally. Without preplanned platforms, eyeballs are forced to become end-to-end. We will architect the term "long-term". all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "experiences". A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to scale faithfully. Without well-chosen systems, paradigms are forced to become short-term, scalable. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for micro-structuring are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will extend our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think back-end. Think end-to-end. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the theory of platforms. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Do you have a plan to become global? What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? The versioning factor is best-of-breed. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTML. If you morph iteravely, you may have to redefine intuitively. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. The re-purposing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will reinvent the term "intuitive".