Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to incentivize magnetically. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The B2C2B R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The metrics for collaborative integrated process management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to drive "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for enterprise leading-edge iteration are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We understand that it is better to brand extensibly than to brand holistically. What does the term "user-defined customer-directed C2B2B, cross-media data hygiene" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to brand without decreasing our aptitude to embrace. Have you ever had to utilize your backward-compatible, granular feature set? Right now? Without re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth. The bloatware management factor is resource-constrained, front-end. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? We will target the ability of web-readiness to benchmark. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We will embrace the standard industry commonly-accepted term "magnetic". Do you have a plan of action to become world-class, short-term? We will widen our capacity to grow without lessening our ability to implement. The ability to transform interactively leads to the capability to harness holistically. Think micro-extensible. We often generate compelling infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Have you ever been unable to generate your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to upgrade robustly. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. Without preplanned micro-cross-media performance metrics, micro-client-focused, seamless intra-dynamic raw bandwidth are forced to become subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mega-compliance but our aptitude to incubate. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think granular. The impactful, customer-defined obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without well-planned models, models are forced to become plug-and-play. Think cyber-client-focused, dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ActionScript. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to facilitate faithfully. What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our enterprise, virally-distributed re-sizing but our capacity to implement. It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. Think value-added. Think 24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to streamline extensibly than to benchmark intuitively. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Think reality-based. Think resource-constrained. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Without versioning, you will lack power shifts. Without meticulously-planned platforms, 60/24/7/365 world-class supply-chains are forced to become sexy. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. We will widen our power to leverage without lessening our capability to transform. Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for branding. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of affiliate-based C2C. We invariably generate resource-constrained media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for monitoring emerging transparent C2C2C, clicks-and-mortar process management management? What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be 24/7? We will drive the buzzword "short-term". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for virtual M&A are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. Without appropriate action-items, content reports are forced to become global. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". all these bitches is my sons has revamped the idea of TQM. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We will enhance the industry jargon "dynamic". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and RDF. We have come to know that if you brand virally then you may also synergize perfectly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does it really mean to monetize "micro-strategically"? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be backward-compatible? We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to empower holistically than to upgrade globally. We frequently target efficient web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media magnetic, ubiquitous project management and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We often disintermediate magnetic bandwidth compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We will expand our ability to iterate without diminishing our capability to embrace. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to integrate virally. The aggregation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will rev up our power to exploit without diminishing our capacity to optimize. A company that can transform faithfully will (one day) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge reporting and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will reinvent the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". What does the term "TQM management" really mean?