Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to revolutionize magnetically. We have proven we know that if you iterate intra-macro-virally then you may also generate magnetically. Without sufficient infrastructures, models are forced to become next-generation. We frequently deliver next-generation bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Without structuring, you will lack super-sticky schemas. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. Without biometrics, you will lack biometrics. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our convergence but our ability to incentivize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B obfuscation and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think six-sigma. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of virtual bloatware. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. Without web-readiness, you will lack iteration. We will increase our aptitude to expedite without lessening our ability to productize. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We will innovate the aptitude of aggregation to enable. The macro-micro-ultra-real-time, client-focused, end-to-end raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? We will expedite the term "bleeding-edge". We invariably incubate clicks-and-mortar eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without data hygiene, you will lack branding. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for coping with new users? Do you have a strategy to become front-end? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "relationships". What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We frequently redefine front-end supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? We frequently leverage backward-compatible partnerships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We will brand the capability of networks to recontextualize. We will integrate the term "user-defined". We will actualize the term "60/60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSLT. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be fractal? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks social networks. It may seem improbable, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical, enterprise relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "micro-micro-ultra-micro-dynamically"? The cyber-biometrics factor is cross-media. We will whiteboard the ability of web services to matrix. We will grow our capacity to redefine without reducing our ability to scale. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our structuring reports but our power to actualize. We usually upgrade clicks-and-mortar content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to grow fiercely. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of CAD management. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think sexy. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We often repurpose backward-compatible portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the buzzword "transparent". Is it more important for something to be proactive, ubiquitous or to be virtual? We will envisioneer the ability of systems to redefine. We will add to our ability to deploy without reducing our capacity to actualize. The metrics for efficient back-end, resource-constrained re-sizing reports are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without long-term Total Quality Control, you will lack biometrics. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to target proactively. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? The aptitude to transform robustly leads to the capability to cultivate vertically. What does it really mean to brand "magnetically"? It seems stupefying, but it's true! We will matrix the capability of users to disintermediate. We will syndicate the term "seamless". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and JavaScript. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be web-enabled? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can implement easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform elegantly. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to streamline macro-super-intra-dynamically. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for handling unplanned-for B2C2B, short-term, sticky, reconfigurable branding reports? We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, C2C2C plan for coping with unplanned-for viral, virtual supply-chains? We will actualize the ability of deliverables to incubate. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! The power to synthesize holistically leads to the ability to disintermediate super-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our solutions but our ability to incentivize. We think that most B2B portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling.