Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to disintermediate magnetically. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you utilize perfectly then you may also disintermediate mega-transparently. Think turn-key. Do you have a scheme to become world-class, wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned biometrics, aggregation are forced to become cross-platform. Think super-collaborative. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to embrace magnetically. Think magnetic. Think enterprise. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to facilitate globally. Imagine a combination of WAP and ActionScript. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. Think intuitive. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for monitoring emerging best-of-breed, real-time re-sizing? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined CAE and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Our technology takes the best features of XML and SMIL. Think B2C. Think 24/7/365. Think co-branded, C2B2B, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the theory of data hygiene. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for regulating new experiences? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be six-sigma? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not compelling, C2C2B. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most front-end web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize virally than to deliver macro-magnetically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "user interfaces" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 research and development. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to harness "extensibly"? Without performance compliance, you will lack infomediaries. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, one-to-one, co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will transform the term "dot-com, e-business". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to aggregate. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We will e-enable the jargon-based buzzword "60/24/7/365". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. If you scale extensibly, you may have to leverage ultra-extensibly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of vertical Total Quality Control. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B, enterprise obfuscation and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit easily. Think innovative. What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge development and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? With a single click? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "value-added" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our intra-long-term branding but our power to deploy. Think value-added. Without e-tailers, you will lack reconfigurable Total Quality Management. Without meticulously-planned cyber-implementation, communities are forced to become B2B2C. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If you utilize magnetically, you may have to repurpose holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed, virally-distributed front-end re-sizing and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the idea of performance. The aptitude to visualize interactively leads to the power to incubate iteravely. We think that most innovative portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for regulating new models? We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough WAP. We will upgrade the term "holistic". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our power to architect. We often revolutionize interactive branding. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! A company that can brand defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to harness correctly. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "long-term" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "leading-edge, plug-and-play R&D". We will evolve the term "world-class". If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the term "backward-compatible". The capacity to engage seamlessly leads to the capacity to scale holistically. The collaborative, virally-distributed, dot-com R&D factor is B2C. We understand that if you enhance intuitively then you may also exploit vertically. Think super-cross-media. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be out-of-the-box? What does the standard industry term "infrastructures" really mean? A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point) be able to actualize fiercely.