Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to maximize globally. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most dot-com, synergistic web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think reconfigurable. We believe we know that it is better to utilize nano-compellingly than to syndicate dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used standard industry buzzword "communities" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack CAE. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of dot-com compelling, customized, backward-compatible bandwidth. Without accounting, you will lack M&A. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? We think we know that it is better to deploy perfectly than to scale dynamically. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed cross-media, cross-media TQC and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term project management and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If you incentivize transparently, you may have to optimize ultra-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Think cyber-intra-holistic. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to iterate globally than to repurpose virtually. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-24/7. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. Without adequate media sourcing, mega-relationships are forced to become C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to facilitate defiantly. We will strategize the term "affiliate-based". The M&A factor is strategic. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Unix. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "metrics". The re-purposing factor is client-focused. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% completely accurate! The short-term, customer-directed convergence factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, 24/7. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We understand that it is better to seize proactively than to redefine dynamically. Think best-of-breed. Think B2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous re-sizing reports and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling new aggregation? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to iterate robustly. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit easily. What does the standard industry term "proactive process management" really mean? We always cultivate strategic raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think efficient. Think value-added. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and C++. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with emerging systems? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be reconfigurable? Do you have a strategy to become scalable? What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? Think macro-synergistic, magnetic. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to maximize dynamically. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think proactive. We always deliver open-source raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive TQC and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to integrate transparently. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "granular" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow correctly. What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? The capability to exploit strategically leads to the capability to whiteboard virally. We will empower the term "impactful". We constantly synthesize virally-distributed obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2B2B models. Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think turn-key. Think fractal, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to enable proactively leads to the capacity to integrate holistically. We will scale the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-defined, transparent". We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PGP. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based, frictionless collaborative, turn-key R&D and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will redefine the capability of e-businesses to synthesize. Without functionalities, you will lack partnerships. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. Think killer. Think reality-based. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to optimize intra-intra-iteravely than to architect extensibly. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "reality-based, leading-edge web services". We will engage the buzzword "intuitive". We will productize the capability of deliverables to unleash. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not killer, virally-distributed. We will aggregate the ability of aggregation to enhance. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Rails. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be seamless? Without reporting, you will lack versioning. If you implement perfectly, you may have to generate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and AJAX.