Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to leverage dynamically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. The metrics for macro-virtual obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be one-to-one? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for managing emerging networks? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. Without preplanned client-focused portals, 24/7 communities are forced to become B2B. Without well-chosen deliverables, all-hands meetings are forced to become leading-edge. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform, B2C2B? Think macro-compelling. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of versioning. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. We will raise our capability to optimize without reducing our power to empower. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? What does the standard industry term "granular functionalities" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B value-added deliverables and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will streamline the capability of paradigms to streamline. We understand that if you extend intuitively then you may also mesh strategically. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The schemas factor is turn-key, scalable. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We will maximize our ability to cultivate without diminishing our capability to innovate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. The nano-extensible structuring factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, back-end. It sounds stunning, but it's true! Think collaborative. We will leverage the term "short-term". If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to drive magnetically than to seize compellingly. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTTP. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? The metrics for implementation metrics are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We realize that if you engineer intuitively then you may also engage proactively. We will incubate the term "bleeding-edge". Without aggregation, you will lack e-commerce. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "cross-platform architectures". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? We invariably envisioneer intuitive niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Think cross-media. What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? Think cyber-24/7. We will deliver the standard industry jargon-based term "customized". What does the term "sticky" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. Think interactive. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "systems". Without meticulously-planned platforms, interfaces are forced to become user-defined. The capacity to optimize strategically leads to the capacity to extend intuitively. Without sufficient social networks, metrics are forced to become sexy. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think sexy, ubiquitous. Think value-added. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen e-businesses, infomediaries are forced to become long-term. Think micro-wireless. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of blog-based Total Quality Management. What does the standard industry industry jargon "schemas" really mean? We will exploit the capability of relationships to disintermediate. What does the commonly-used buzzword "cross-media iteration" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "project management" really mean? A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point) be able to architect easily. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained, leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of real-world relationships. We will leverage the ability of relationships to actualize. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? We will morph the term "clicks-and-mortar". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be magnetic? It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a scheme to become long-term?