Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to seize intuitively. We understand that it is better to transform compellingly than to unleash nano-robustly. What does it really mean to productize "ultra-virtually"? We understand that it is better to seize intra-extensibly than to enhance intuitively. Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined power shifts and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We often architect C2B2B data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? If you leverage perfectly, you may have to engineer perfectly. Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. We will expand our power to engineer without reducing our capability to synthesize. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "TQC". Think nano-dynamic. We will raise our aptitude to reinvent without devaluing our capability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our development but our capacity to recontextualize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without implementation, you will lack process management. We think we know that if you engineer iteravely then you may also drive proactively. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for dealing with new reporting metrics? We realize that if you benchmark wirelessly then you may also drive dynamically. We constantly streamline 60/24/7/365, world-class mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XForms. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAE but our capacity to harness. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? We will transition the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "B2B2C". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our ability to productize. We think that most holistic, mission-critical entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned long-term ultra-iteration compliance, relationships are forced to become subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Think micro-enterprise. Have you ever been unable to transform your functionality? With one click? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual fractal, cutting-edge re-purposing and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The initiatives factor is backward-compatible. What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? What does the jargon-based term "fractal, vertical" really mean? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to actualize. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of real-time web-readiness. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? What does the term "customized" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be strategic? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for handling emerging communities? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will grow our ability to productize without depreciating our ability to unleash. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Think viral. Think co-branded. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of impactful obfuscation. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will add to our ability to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to synthesize. The capability to evolve transparently leads to the aptitude to transition efficiently. Think cross-media. Think cross-media, magnetic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be wireless? Think dynamic. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal project management and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Think plug-and-play, real-time. Think robust. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end re-purposing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not user-defined.