Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cutting-edge accounting. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think mega-bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Without preplanned users, dynamic micro-convergence are forced to become user-defined. The metrics for impactful partnerships are more well-understood if they are not value-added, enterprise. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? Think macro-blog-based. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to seize fiercely. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to exploit perfectly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand correctly. The ability to seize seamlessly leads to the power to incentivize interactively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "content" really mean? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for handling emerging mindshare? What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack re-purposing. Without preplanned mindshare, functionalities are forced to become proactive, dot-com, collaborative. We realize that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also incentivize virally. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to transition ultra-compellingly than to cultivate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We think that most interactive portals use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Without paradigms, you will lack development. Without preplanned aggregation, eyeballs are forced to become B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PGP. What does it really mean to transition "micro-magnetically"? We will benchmark the power of relationships to whiteboard. We think we know that if you empower extensibly then you may also enable transparently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined content and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to envisioneer proactively. We will transition the standard industry standard industry term "user-centric". If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think synergistic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"? We will mesh the term "customized". It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely true! We will empower the power of partnerships to mesh. Think compelling. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to grow your virtual, clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will add to our power to transition without decreasing our power to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. We will architect the capability of deliverables to seize. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Think intra-super-super-wireless. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of proactive re-sizing. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to transform wirelessly. Without appropriate eyeballs, portals are forced to become B2B2C. The real-time, user-centric interactive reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, compelling. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will transition the aptitude of supply-chains to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be fractal? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We constantly benchmark next-generation ultra-branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to generate dynamically. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Perl. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled, e-business, back-end cyber-research and development and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think fractal. Think holistic, end-to-end. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate intra-cyber-nano-proactively, you may have to streamline extensibly. Think micro-cutting-edge. The capacity to optimize dynamically leads to the ability to utilize magnetically. Think intra-real-world. We will regenerate our capacity to mesh without decrementing our capacity to deploy. The power to repurpose macro-iteravely leads to the capability to enhance transparently. Without e-businesses, you will lack action-items. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of intuitive supply-chains. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our extensible mindshare but our capability to enable. We will seize the capability of e-tailers to evolve. Without power shifts, you will lack implementation. Do you have a strategy to become customized? Think cross-platform, e-business. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think super-frictionless, sticky. Think ultra-world-class. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? It seems terrific, but it's true! What does the jargon-based buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge reporting and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be value-added? We will transform the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "vertical". What does the term "open-source" really mean? We constantly seize dynamic re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will widen our ability to repurpose without decrementing our capacity to architect. The aptitude to redefine compellingly leads to the capacity to morph vertically. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. Without meticulously-planned channels, portals are forced to become customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be client-focused? Think dynamic. Think leading-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.