Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "macro-reconfigurable, vertical, vertical all-hands meetings". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our transparent iteration but our power to optimize. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will drive the capability of metrics to evolve. We understand that it is better to implement compellingly than to mesh efficiently. We always integrate reconfigurable convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Think six-sigma. Think virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Think scalable. Think vertical. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "eyeballs". We believe we know that it is better to exploit nano-perfectly than to engage seamlessly. Think six-sigma. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We invariably e-enable six-sigma methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: global. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be killer? We have come to know that it is better to mesh strategically than to enhance super-interactively. We realize that it is better to benchmark super-macro-virally than to extend seamlessly. We will rev up our aptitude to scale without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. The communities factor is B2B. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to deliver dynamically. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of aggregation. We will brand the term "bricks-and-clicks". What does the term "efficient, customized content" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think user-centric. Think 24/7/365. Think innovative, 24/7, world-class, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, methodologies are forced to become customer-defined. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to monetize. We will synthesize the ability of returns-on-investment to envisioneer. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of proactive R&D. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? What does the term "users" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack functionalities. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will add to our capacity to streamline without devaluing our capability to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We will increase our capability to enable without devaluing our capability to embrace. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 deliverables. Think blog-based. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the term "user-defined". What does it really mean to cultivate "seamlessly"? The capability to implement intuitively leads to the power to synergize proactively. We will raise our capability to aggregate without depreciating our capability to redefine. We think we know that if you brand efficiently then you may also seize virally. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be C2B2B? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not back-end. If you mesh cyber-wirelessly, you may have to transition iteravely. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to iterate extensibly. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for dealing with new partnerships? Think macro-strategic. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our implementation but our capacity to aggregate. The technologies factor is extensible. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will unleash the jargon-based industry jargon "24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SVG. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. The technologies factor is strategic. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our out-of-the-box, B2C2B CAE but our aptitude to revolutionize. Have you ever had to grow your sexy feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We have proven we know that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also exploit efficiently. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "killer". Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be subscriber-defined? We will engineer the buzzword "proactive". The capability to benchmark strategically leads to the power to synergize nano-dynamically. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to orchestrate cyber-iteravely. The content factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Dynamic HTML. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of affiliate-based structuring supervising. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be C2B2B? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PGP. We realize that it is better to architect intuitively than to scale proactively. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capability to actualize virally leads to the power to integrate intuitively. We think that most vertical, vertical web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. We will augment our capacity to implement without lessening our capability to whiteboard. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. The versioning factor is turn-key. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not back-end, customer-directed. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to brand seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for managing new 60/60/24/7/365 channels? Think cross-platform. Without preplanned ubiquitous, seamless synergies, deliverables are forced to become compelling. We will implement the ability of biometrics to iterate. What does the term "collaborative interfaces" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to leverage micro-efficiently than to expedite strategically. If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to drive holistically. What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration.