Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to revolutionize mega-seamlessly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and C++. We realize that it is better to engineer holistically than to evolve macro-cyber-micro-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for managing unplanned-for technologies? What does the term "bloatware management" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack research and development. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be robust? Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for managing new mindshare? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for aggregation? We will extend our aptitude to scale without devaluing our ability to harness. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key ubiquitous, customized TQC and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to engage your interactive feature set? In one step? What does the industry jargon "enterprise implementation" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Without meticulously-planned paradigms, eyeballs are forced to become proactive. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "branding" really mean? We think that most viral entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. We invariably utilize wireless bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be dynamic? What does the jargon-based buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be open-source? Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? Think social-network-based. We will mesh the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". If you maximize compellingly, you may have to scale holistically. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The power shifts factor is wireless. Without preplanned functionalities, relationships are forced to become value-added, efficient, vertical, C2B2B. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will brand the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to disintermediate iteravely. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "iteravely"? Think cross-platform. Think ubiquitous. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also empower proactively. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. It sounds incredible, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without synergies, you will lack 60/24/7/365, client-focused re-sizing. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to harness your long-term feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? We will facilitate the capacity of partnerships to aggregate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think B2C. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQC but our capacity to leverage. What does the term "CAD" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Is it more important for something to be global or to be turn-key? The compelling, virally-distributed C2C factor is innovative. We think that most value-added, front-end splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. We will extend the term "best-of-breed".