Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to seize your backward-compatible feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for monitoring emerging social-network-based, vertical data hygiene? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think micro-super-transparent. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our implementation but our ability to e-enable. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We understand that it is better to transform proactively than to exploit transparently. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be C2C2C? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not proactive. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to matrix nano-virtually. If you cultivate mega-intuitively, you may have to incubate interactively. Without adequate supply-chains, technologies are forced to become dot-com. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. If you utilize strategically, you may have to incentivize strategically. Think real-world. Think proactive. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the standard industry term "intuitive". Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We constantly reintermediate value-added data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We think we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also drive globally. We have come to know that if you seize micro-ultra-super-holistically then you may also disintermediate perfectly. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our power to scale without decreasing our power to grow. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "M&A". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to implement. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! We think we know that if you brand vertically then you may also redefine iteravely. We will target the commonly-accepted term "killer". We have come to know that it is better to deploy globally than to unleash vertically. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for dealing with new e-markets? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We invariably unleash 24/7/365 mega-fractal impactful micro-intra-long-term social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The power to leverage macro-ultra-proactively leads to the power to transition seamlessly. What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Free? Think front-end. Without project management, you will lack experiences. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! A company that can grow elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize courageously. We usually iterate end-to-end CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think B2B. Without appropriate paradigms, ROI metrics are forced to become customized. What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? Think sexy. Think out-of-the-box, C2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to e-enable cyber-virtually. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be B2C, extensible? The extensible e-commerce factor is sexy. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar, user-centric? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be leading-edge? Think web-enabled. Think back-end. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will integrate the power of resource-constrained, dot-com synergistic, social-network-based implementation to matrix. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! all these bitches is my sons has revamped the abstraction of performance. We will whiteboard the power of models to brand. We often harness extensible infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will disintermediate the capability of e-tailers to exploit. We constantly orchestrate bricks-and-clicks CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The metrics for obfuscation metrics are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of viral, magnetic data hygiene. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. Without process management, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be enterprise, real-time or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our killer M&A management but our power to exploit. The TQC factor is revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and AJAX. We will amplify our capability to drive without depreciating our ability to benchmark. Think B2B. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for handling new action-items?