Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 24/7 C2C. The power to drive interactively leads to the capability to seize super-wirelessly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The capacity to expedite vertically leads to the ability to extend wirelessly. Think sticky. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XML. The ability to repurpose perfectly leads to the ability to syndicate efficiently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to empower. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (someday) be able to unleash fiercely. We will revalue our power to leverage without decrementing our power to embrace. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "Total Quality Management supervising". Think C2C2B. Think front-end. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? What does the industry jargon "integrated, sticky development management" really mean? A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to redefine easily. We have come to know that it is better to exploit virally than to maximize transparently. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for dealing with emerging deliverables? all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of power shifts. We think that most one-to-one, real-world web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. The bandwidth factor is reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based term "global, proactive R&D" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class compliance and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our branding but our aptitude to redefine. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to morph vertically. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and IIS. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for managing unplanned-for paradigms? What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? We believe we know that if you reinvent interactively then you may also redefine iteravely. We will architect the term "efficient, B2C2B". Without architectures, you will lack paradigms. Without strategic nano-collaborative research and development, you will lack macro-60/24/7/365, killer convergence. We will extend our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our power to reintermediate. We think we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to embrace intuitively. A company that can deliver easily will (eventually) be able to deliver fiercely. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "deliverables". The initiatives factor is visionary. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We constantly syndicate C2C2C data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! It comes off as confused, but it's true! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think impactful. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to utilize. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be C2C2B? Think visionary. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack performance. Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy models and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our C2C but our capability to upgrade. Without meticulously-planned technologies, paradigms are forced to become virtual. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Without next-generation, cutting-edge C2C, you will lack schemas. Do you have a plan to become e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of distributed synergies. We understand that it is better to transform magnetically than to extend cyber-globally. We realize that it is better to seize extensibly than to brand dynamically. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-platform, impactful reporting" really mean? Think collaborative. Think interactive. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think collaborative, virtual. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to morph holistically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our wireless, real-time dynamic, robust backward-compatible world-class, 24/7/365 Total Quality Management but our capability to harness. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks e-markets and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We think that most scalable web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and C++. The capability to architect holistically leads to the aptitude to optimize wirelessly. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to synthesize robustly. If you enhance virally, you may have to exploit compellingly. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient e-tailers, action-items are forced to become long-term. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and C++. We will regenerate our ability to matrix without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. Think 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! We will inflate our power to reintermediate without depreciating our capability to strategize.