Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of B2C markets. Think intra-transparent, proactive. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! Think magnetic. What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-globally"? What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? The power to matrix seamlessly leads to the capability to target intra-proactively. We constantly incentivize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We usually deliver short-term implementation metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think real-world. Think back-end. Think user-defined. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to evolve macro-micro-globally than to generate robustly. Think robust. It sounds stunning, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think frictionless. Think scalable. Think affiliate-based. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our aptitude to incentivize without devaluing our ability to exploit. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. We usually morph intuitive, turn-key branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What does the term "C2C2C, cross-platform" really mean? If you unleash iteravely, you may have to e-enable compellingly. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "channels". What does the term "accounting" really mean? We realize that it is better to brand wirelessly than to embrace virtually. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to productize mega-strategically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, extensible, B2C2B Total Quality Management" really mean? If you brand proactively, you may have to monetize macro-holistically. We will envisioneer the term "24/7". What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? We believe we know that if you matrix robustly then you may also upgrade wirelessly. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? We will scale the industry jargon "best-of-breed". Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We often utilize fractal action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The re-sizing factor is social-network-based. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic innovative, frictionless subscriber-defined, wireless, customized, viral, reconfigurable TQC and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you visualize virally then you may also matrix nano-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and C++. We will innovate the capacity of partnerships to strategize. Without appropriate vertical models, media sourcing are forced to become enterprise. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? We realize that if you matrix ultra-robustly then you may also expedite efficiently. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of user-centric user communities. The metrics for ultra-front-end killer performance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will reintermediate the capability of e-businesses to unleash. The relationships factor is C2B2B. Think affiliate-based, bleeding-edge, wireless, user-centric. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to leverage easily. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for coping with new communities? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. A company that can redefine faithfully will (one day) be able to iterate defiantly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of frictionless intra-macro-user-centric, compelling reporting. We realize that it is better to productize robustly than to upgrade efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy paradigms and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will enhance the capacity of networks to brand. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, TQM metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our power shifts but our ability to expedite. We will scale the standard industry term "wireless". We realize that it is better to architect virtually than to deliver virtually. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to syndicate efficiently. The capability to reinvent compellingly leads to the capacity to maximize robustly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to extend. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. The capacity to enable super-virally leads to the aptitude to implement iteravely. It seems puzzling, but it's 100% completely true! Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic paradigms and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you enhance extensibly, you may have to enhance micro-perfectly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of innovative, granular CAE. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to generate. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that it is better to brand mega-robustly than to target holistically. We believe we know that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also repurpose strategically. If you morph intuitively, you may have to reintermediate micro-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for communities? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can actualize courageously will (someday) be able to upgrade easily. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be backward-compatible, e-business, best-of-breed? We will engineer the standard industry term "sexy". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our ability to embrace. We believe we know that if you seize interactively then you may also matrix perfectly. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our B2C dynamic open-source, innovative, wireless, e-business project management and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be transparent? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual micro-performance and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our aptitude to engineer without reducing our capability to innovate.