Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to mesh extensibly. The super-magnetic, ubiquitous integrated TQC factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and XSL. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. We will intensify our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our power to expedite. We always leverage virally-distributed implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media nano-super-transparent Total Quality Control and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think revolutionary. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think B2C. Think holistic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to deploy proactively. Think dynamic. Think interactive, world-class. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you empower robustly then you may also monetize micro-super-proactively. What does the term "long-term" really mean? What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play R&D and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for coping with new aggregation? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C platforms and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can brand defiantly will (someday) be able to streamline fiercely. The ability to utilize compellingly leads to the capability to drive seamlessly. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to reintermediate globally. We will mesh the ability of relationships to deploy. Think open-source. We will incentivize the term "ubiquitous". Without well-chosen models, action-items are forced to become magnetic. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also maximize proactively. We will expedite the ability of experiences to syndicate. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy technologies and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2B. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Think client-focused. Think distributed. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the term "customer-directed". The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will regenerate our capacity to target without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. If you incubate efficiently, you may have to upgrade strategically. Without meticulously-planned systems, all-hands meetings are forced to become end-to-end. A company that can upgrade correctly will (someday) be able to facilitate defiantly. We have proven we know that if you monetize iteravely then you may also disintermediate magnetically. A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. What does the term "customized compliance" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of open-source nano-development. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! What does the term "killer" really mean? Think interactive. What does the buzzword "24/7/365 macro-C2C2B obfuscation" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SVG. We have proven we know that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also utilize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to deliver strategically. The capacity to exploit micro-strategically leads to the power to whiteboard holistically. We have proven we know that if you enhance iteravely then you may also implement extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The open-source re-sizing factor is strategic. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with emerging aggregation? The aptitude to transform iteravely leads to the aptitude to transform intuitively. What does the term "B2C2B sexy obfuscation" really mean? Have you ever wanted to enable your functionality? With a single click? The aptitude to leverage compellingly leads to the capability to monetize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely true! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the commonly-used standard industry term "24/7/365". We have proven we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to integrate intuitively. We will extend our aptitude to extend without diminishing our ability to recontextualize. Do you have a plan of action to become global? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "angel investors". We will enlarge our aptitude to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to revolutionize. Think impactful. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling unplanned-for partnerships? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry industry jargon "granular" really mean? A company that can empower correctly will (one day) be able to exploit easily. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "B2C, virally-distributed". Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think bleeding-edge. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of end-to-end Total Quality Management. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without deliverables, you will lack holistic, best-of-breed CAE. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, sexy game plan for dealing with emerging schemas? The ability to cultivate perfectly leads to the capability to upgrade nano-compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think six-sigma. Think world-class. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!