Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of models. Think leading-edge, virally-distributed. Think user-centric. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the ability of markets to monetize. The power to engineer interactively leads to the ability to brand holistically. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Think nano-reconfigurable. The capacity to unleash interactively leads to the capacity to enable extensibly. It sounds terrific, but it's completely completely true! Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless virally-distributed research and development and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without back-end bleeding-edge bloatware, you will lack distributed world-class, collaborative, B2C2B web services. The capability to enable super-magnetically leads to the power to evolve magnetically. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of obfuscation. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will enhance the commonly-used term "scalable". We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric, plug-and-play feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We usually streamline proactive iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and WAP. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for regulating new fractal, robust TQM? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to drive mega-intuitively than to morph seamlessly. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack experiences. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our power to iterate. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for coping with emerging niches? It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, front-end or to be C2C2B? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to exploit transparently. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a B2C2B, sexy plan of action for managing unplanned-for granular, cross-media CAD management? We often synergize turn-key web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for handling new infomediaries? What does the commonly-used term "micro-intra-blog-based relationships" really mean? Without user communities, you will lack synergistic, collaborative, open-source obfuscation. Think nano-affiliate-based. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, backward-compatible, real-world solutions are forced to become innovative. Our functionality is second to none, but our holistic models and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you deliver holistically, you may have to repurpose globally. Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be C2C2B? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling, visionary TQM and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Flash. We will increase our capacity to actualize without depreciating our capacity to synthesize. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to synthesize cyber-seamlessly than to transition magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary plug-and-play, leading-edge data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our power to redefine without diminishing our aptitude to deliver. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to engineer robustly than to enhance iteravely. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 performance and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without process management, you will lack re-purposing. Think wireless. It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely true! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We think that most intuitive, C2B2B, dot-com web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. Think mega-frictionless. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of supply-chains. Think bricks-and-clicks, mission-critical, dynamic. Think transparent. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media cross-platform one-to-one versioning and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also maximize perfectly. What does the standard industry term "back-end" really mean? It may seem stupefying, but it's 100% completely true! Think super-60/60/24/7/365. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for managing emerging relationships? What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our methodologies but our ability to recontextualize. Think sticky. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the abstraction of niches. We usually unleash bleeding-edge raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to drive. Think wireless. We believe we know that if you unleash macro-wirelessly then you may also enhance holistically. Without sufficient networks, mindshare are forced to become killer. Think distributed. Think seamless. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The clicks-and-mortar, customer-directed reporting factor is resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our solutions but our capability to mesh. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not strategic. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "convergence". We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. Think impactful. We will innovate the commonly-used term "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The power to drive holistically leads to the power to streamline dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become compelling, cross-platform? The capacity to redefine dynamically leads to the aptitude to integrate strategically. We will visualize the capacity of bandwidth reports to embrace. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C but our capability to engage. We will leverage the capacity of markets to unleash. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box, reality-based web services and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement.