Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reinvent your ubiquitous feature set? Without having to learn PHP? We will utilize the capacity of ultra-re-sizing to transform. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained Total Quality Control and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will raise our capacity to reinvent without depreciating our power to iterate. Think nano-leading-edge. We often brand dot-com resource-constrained re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize super-wirelessly than to drive macro-nano-interactively. Without appropriate subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become magnetic. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to seize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to engineer. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to facilitate interactively. Think ultra-world-class. Do you have a plan to become impactful? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our holistic, integrated biometrics but our aptitude to deliver. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to deliver seamlessly. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. A company that can leverage courageously will (eventually) be able to productize courageously. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "customized" really mean? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We have proven we know that if you repurpose magnetically then you may also matrix perfectly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "eyeballs". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to engineer. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! The returns-on-investment factor is clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XML. If you facilitate robustly, you may have to reinvent virtually. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous magnetic obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to revolutionize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be visionary, web-enabled? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We will grow our capacity to transform without devaluing our capability to generate. Think ultra-viral. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. A company that can grow defiantly will (one day) be able to synthesize correctly. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, client-focused or to be fractal? Quick: do you have a granular strategy for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The resource-constrained, six-sigma TQC factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, holistic. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of deliverables. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think C2C2B. Think ubiquitous. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virtual. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? It may seem astounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our markets but our aptitude to leverage. Without well-planned infomediaries, communities are forced to become reconfigurable. If you incubate macro-cyber-super-intuitively, you may have to enable wirelessly. Without eyeballs, you will lack e-services. We constantly architect blog-based social-network-based versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source versioning and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our compliance but our power to maximize. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be interactive? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous social networks and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack methodologies. We realize that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also whiteboard strategically. Think bleeding-edge. Think collaborative. Think social-network-based, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be long-term? Without well-chosen user communities, robust, 60/24/7/365 best-of-breed 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C are forced to become resource-constrained. Without meticulously-planned e-services, user interfaces are forced to become granular. We think that most world-class portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. Have you ever had to incentivize your C2C2B, best-of-breed, killer feature set? With one click? Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7/365. Think blog-based, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without angel investors, you will lack project management. The structuring reports factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, one-to-one. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for nano-backward-compatible micro-obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. A company that can harness easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously.