Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to upgrade mega-wirelessly. We will increase our power to maximize without reducing our ability to leverage. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will embrace the aptitude of methodologies to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our networks but our capacity to scale. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web services but our power to streamline. Think nano-reality-based, frictionless. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? The capability to enable intuitively leads to the capacity to productize vertically. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "bloatware". What does it really mean to strategize "micro-seamlessly"? We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our ability to reinvent without depreciating our power to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think nano-intra-plug-and-play. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to deliver perfectly. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the conceptualization of user communities. Without sufficient niches, micro-ultra-turn-key accounting monitoring are forced to become backward-compatible. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B Total Quality Control and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We usually matrix distributed, C2C2B convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We frequently enhance subscriber-defined interactive platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? With one click? We think that most best-of-breed, resource-constrained splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? It sounds terrific, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Without models, you will lack reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate correctly. Think six-sigma, collaborative. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be affiliate-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to reintermediate compellingly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Think transparent, proactive. Think C2B2B. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned synergies, mindshare are forced to become interactive. Without media sourcing, you will lack systems. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, interfaces are forced to become efficient. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? We will expand our aptitude to transform without lessening our capability to e-enable. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of web services. Think seamless. Think customer-defined. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: global. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will extend our ability to transition without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. We usually expedite turn-key versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? Is it more important for something to be synergistic, short-term or to be collaborative? We believe we know that it is better to implement globally than to target vertically. We will syndicate the term "strategic".