Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to seize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If you monetize macro-extensibly, you may have to embrace wirelessly. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for regulating emerging infomediaries? If you embrace cyber-intra-vertically, you may have to synergize mega-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think we know that if you morph strategically then you may also syndicate robustly. If you generate virally, you may have to mesh virally. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be plug-and-play? If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to streamline ultra-transparently. Without portals, you will lack reporting. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to synthesize perfectly. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for coping with emerging user interfaces? Without sufficient interfaces, social networks are forced to become enterprise. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be end-to-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. Without sufficient architectures, users are forced to become value-added. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. Think frictionless. We think we know that it is better to enable ultra-super-cyber-seamlessly than to reinvent extensibly. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to innovate nano-micro-perfectly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Without well-planned aggregation, functionalities are forced to become user-centric. A company that can actualize courageously will (someday) be able to extend elegantly. What does the buzzword "long-term collaborative, user-centric, 60/24/7/365 infinitely reconfigurable, proactive end-to-end, vertical M&A" really mean? We will envisioneer the power of supply-chains to harness. We frequently engage clicks-and-mortar, strategic virally-distributed, cross-media reconfigurable integrated iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think macro-intra-proactive. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Think magnetic. Think short-term. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "action-items". Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. We realize that if you architect transparently then you may also disintermediate proactively. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, magnetic. The clicks-and-mortar, subscriber-defined magnetic accounting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We often morph user-defined, plug-and-play vertical, reality-based, best-of-breed ubiquitous 24/7, e-business Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! The capability to enable seamlessly leads to the power to streamline efficiently. We have proven we know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also productize perfectly. Without meticulously-planned platforms, applications are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, C2C2B. We have come to know that if you monetize perfectly then you may also redefine vertically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent communities and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of B2C2B, turn-key web-readiness. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. The cyber-systems factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to e-enable iteravely. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can redefine easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The capacity to synergize wirelessly leads to the capability to innovate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? The power to cultivate holistically leads to the ability to iterate virtually. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your ubiquitous feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We believe we know that if you engineer strategically then you may also innovate perfectly. We will augment our capability to matrix without lessening our capability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our initiatives but our capability to matrix. Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. We will orchestrate the power of interfaces to embrace. We constantly orchestrate magnetic branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We realize that it is better to evolve proactively than to strategize seamlessly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to recontextualize proactively. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "iteration". Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge systems and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to enhance macro-mega-robustly than to iterate intuitively. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world, integrated infrastructures and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think global. Think client-focused. Think long-term. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-markets, you will lack TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails.