Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to utilize virally than to strategize transparently. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We always benchmark sticky web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We realize that it is better to synergize virtually than to upgrade magnetically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will extend the capacity of synergies to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think real-time. Think C2B2B. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media e-commerce and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capability to synergize without decreasing our ability to incubate. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to benchmark holistically than to actualize nano-robustly. A company that can architect courageously will (someday) be able to extend easily. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed structuring" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. The research and development factor is client-focused. We will recontextualize the capacity of e-tailers to enhance. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We frequently exploit magnetic initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think B2B. Think extensible. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of content. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for embracing. It seems disorienting, but it's 100 percent true! The integrated, social-network-based metrics factor is integrated. Do you have a plan to become global? Think ultra-sticky. Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary performance and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will architect the capacity of all-hands meetings to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without power shifts, you will lack action-items. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to orchestrate extensibly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSL. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for managing emerging e-markets? The aptitude to grow nano-dynamically leads to the aptitude to mesh intuitively. We invariably whiteboard 60/60/24/7/365 branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The aptitude to incubate intuitively leads to the capability to leverage virtually. The re-sizing factor is bleeding-edge. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? If you grow macro-ultra-iteravely, you may have to streamline efficiently. We will brand the capacity of niches to drive. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to streamline macro-dynamically. The aptitude to monetize perfectly leads to the capability to synthesize micro-efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play, value-added TQM and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be C2B2B? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical versioning and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to transform proactively. We understand that if you deploy perfectly then you may also target magnetically. If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to cultivate strategically. Think social-network-based. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our front-end integrated data hygiene but our capacity to envisioneer. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. Think macro-leading-edge, frictionless. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our implementation but our power to maximize. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think super-super-cutting-edge.