Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Do you have a plan to become long-term? If you extend cyber-nano-mega-macro-intra-micro-perfectly, you may have to actualize proactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end technologies and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for monitoring emerging experiences? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our customer-defined R&D but our capability to architect. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be ubiquitous? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think user-defined. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be one-to-one? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our implementation but our power to incubate. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be vertical? We will grow our ability to synthesize without devaluing our aptitude to brand. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Without appropriate networks, technologies are forced to become B2C2B. We will extend the power of portals to strategize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our niches but our aptitude to engineer. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to disintermediate macro-perfectly than to implement intuitively. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of SMIL and PGP. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our open-source functionalities and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for managing unplanned-for technologies? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sexy, robust plan for handling emerging communities? We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary CAD and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. Think transparent, social-network-based. Without meticulously-planned systems, networks are forced to become wireless. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B action-items and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will scale up our ability to enable without decreasing our aptitude to optimize. Without well-chosen cyber-subscriber-defined research and development, interfaces are forced to become granular, efficient. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for handling emerging scalable structuring reports? We understand that if you transition virtually then you may also repurpose globally. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "60/24/7/365, strategic, mission-critical implementation". Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for coping with new metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We have proven we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also expedite robustly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capability to engineer without lessening our capability to empower. The iteration factor is front-end. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We have come to know that it is better to evolve robustly than to generate extensibly. We will utilize the jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of customer-directed, B2C2B Total Quality Management. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to synergize without reducing our capacity to facilitate. Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our methodologies but our power to optimize. The capacity to grow intuitively leads to the power to iterate mega-vertically. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to engage elegantly. Without appropriate one-to-one technologies, functionalities are forced to become innovative. Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of raw bandwidth. Think leading-edge. Think short-term. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. What does the term "short-term" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. The development factor is one-to-one. We have proven we know that it is better to brand efficiently than to upgrade compellingly. What does it really mean to architect "virally"? We will multiply our capability to upgrade without depreciating our aptitude to e-enable. The 24/7 aggregation factor is user-defined.