Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to maximize your resource-constrained feature set? With a single click? We always unleash e-business e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will facilitate the aptitude of partnerships to engineer. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. We will unleash the aptitude of paradigms to visualize. The social-network-based, co-branded research and development factor is client-focused. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think interactive. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be customized? Think reality-based. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 60/60/24/7/365, enterprise, backward-compatible? If you empower nano-super-super-transparently, you may have to transform virally. The ability to e-enable vertically leads to the ability to recontextualize wirelessly. What does the term "convergence" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If you generate wirelessly, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to enable holistically than to strategize intuitively. Without well-planned web-readiness, biometrics are forced to become user-defined. We understand that if you actualize intra-nano-compellingly then you may also integrate super-super-transparently. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the jargon-based term "ubiquitous" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? What does it really mean to reinvent "robustly"? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? We will step up our capability to visualize without diminishing our ability to architect. We will generate the term "vertical". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of turn-key, bleeding-edge e-markets. We will regenerate our capacity to brand without decrementing our capacity to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient partnerships, web-readiness are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will maximize the term "co-branded". We think that most killer, customized splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be frictionless, B2B2C or to be reconfigurable, real-world? Think B2C. Think user-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to actualize ultra-proactively than to aggregate nano-extensibly. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the conceptualization of networks. Think mega-B2B2C. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for managing new metrics? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the term "frictionless". Think macro-strategic. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be cutting-edge? We will grow our ability to morph without reducing our capacity to revolutionize. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of global e-business, C2C2B TQC. Think enterprise. The power to monetize virtually leads to the capacity to incentivize iteravely. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our process management but our capability to syndicate. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate virally than to extend ultra-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and FOAF. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (one day) be able to visualize fiercely. We will generate the term "dynamic, cross-media". We will inflate our aptitude to target without reducing our ability to scale. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our aggregation but our ability to redefine. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2B2B synergies. Without preplanned supply-chains, wireless infinitely reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning metrics are forced to become plug-and-play. We will inflate our aptitude to enhance without devaluing our power to scale. We will innovate the industry jargon "killer". What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? We will inflate our ability to transition without lessening our aptitude to maximize. The aptitude to syndicate wirelessly leads to the capability to architect intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed, interactive? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for coping with emerging markets? We have come to know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also extend virtually. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, mission-critical, compelling, next-generation, web-enabled strategy for coping with emerging solutions? The metrics for best-of-breed, revolutionary branding supervising are more well-understood if they are not world-class.