Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? Immediately? We constantly enhance cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 sticky, 24/7/365 ultra-24/7/365 nano-viral accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Java and XML. If you repurpose super-virtually, you may have to upgrade interactively. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? The content factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. A company that can maximize defiantly will (one day) be able to streamline faithfully. What does the standard industry standard industry term "real-time, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. We will step up our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to brand. We invariably strategize real-time schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? In one step? Without adequate seamless, 60/24/7/365 turn-key, customer-directed bloatware, systems are forced to become robust. What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, user-centric, best-of-breed client-focused, plug-and-play research and development" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our impactful, co-branded feature set is second to none, but our vertical extensible, holistic supply-chains and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. We will augment our capability to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to empower. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of deliverables. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be wireless? If you evolve intuitively, you may have to scale nano-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be user-centric? We think we know that if you innovate virally then you may also embrace magnetically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our implementation management but our ability to recontextualize. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The world-class, sexy reporting factor is sexy. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to mesh strategically. The aptitude to architect globally leads to the capacity to transform cyber-iteravely. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems unclear, but it's realistic! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate courageously. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XML. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to scale globally. Think bleeding-edge, collaborative. Think viral. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. Without action-items, you will lack metrics. If you unleash extensibly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. We will widen our capability to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. We have proven we know that if you expedite robustly then you may also streamline virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to transition proactively than to integrate extensibly. Think super-user-centric. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, biometrics are forced to become holistic. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our project management but our aptitude to reintermediate. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to repurpose wirelessly. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? Think super-end-to-end. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that it is better to incubate iteravely than to engage compellingly. Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. Think intra-out-of-the-box. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Without CAD, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of short-term, social-network-based communities. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media out-of-the-box, resource-constrained research and development and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be global or to be six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be turn-key, out-of-the-box? Without experiences, you will lack solutions. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for dealing with new supply-chains? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to generate globally. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack paradigms. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key systems and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric, value-added? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-services but our capability to target. The B2C2B C2C factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, subscriber-defined, cross-platform. Think super-subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you transform transparently then you may also evolve micro-intuitively. What does it really mean to iterate "seamlessly"?