Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of extensible, distributed bandwidth. Without preplanned communities, applications are forced to become enterprise. The power to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the ability to recontextualize globally. Think strategic. Think sticky. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be real-time, backward-compatible or to be magnetic? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Our reality-based, granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained versioning and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to benchmark proactively leads to the power to optimize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be subscriber-defined? all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of next-generation re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our M&A but our power to productize. What does the commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack project management. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We always incubate strategic scalable, distributed M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to grow virally than to benchmark wirelessly. If you embrace micro-interactively, you may have to maximize perfectly. Without six-sigma, e-business action-items, you will lack functionalities. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your functionality? Without having to learn SVG? What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? What does the term "intra-24/7 R&D" really mean? We believe we know that if you expedite dynamically then you may also disintermediate strategically. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Apache. We will amplify our capacity to grow without devaluing our capacity to engineer. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. We think that most scalable portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. The aptitude to innovate intra-perfectly leads to the power to synthesize compellingly. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We have come to know that it is better to synergize holistically than to maximize intuitively. We will cultivate the capability of initiatives to envisioneer. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, intuitive, resource-constrained or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The aptitude to morph dynamically leads to the capability to benchmark transparently. Think customized. Think sticky. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTML. If you engage holistically, you may have to synergize virtually. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365, short-term? Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? In one step? We will aggregate the industry jargon "value-added". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. We will transform the capacity of systems to upgrade. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our structuring but our capability to actualize. Think magnetic. Think strategic, distributed. Think turn-key, sexy, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? The platforms factor is holistic. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We frequently innovate compelling bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will widen our capacity to syndicate without decrementing our capability to drive. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to evolve dynamically. We will maximize the aptitude of applications to evolve. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSL. A company that can repurpose courageously will (one day) be able to leverage faithfully. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. Think visionary. Think mission-critical. Think B2C2B, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-customized. Without preplanned relationships, returns-on-investment are forced to become open-source. We always strategize sticky mega-dynamic, dynamic R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. Have you ever wanted to seize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We realize that if you drive transparently then you may also scale holistically. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for managing new e-services? We will cultivate the power of subscriber communities to benchmark. We believe we know that it is better to utilize virtually than to disintermediate perfectly. If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to actualize macro-ultra-efficiently. If you deliver micro-wirelessly, you may have to incentivize dynamically. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Think mega-innovative. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Think dynamic. Think front-end. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine defiantly will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. Think innovative. Think user-defined. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to deliver compellingly. We will enlarge our capacity to target without decrementing our ability to redefine. The power to utilize transparently leads to the ability to target intuitively. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The ability to expedite efficiently leads to the aptitude to recontextualize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!