Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? In one step? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We usually unleash B2B media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! It seems astonishing, but it's true! Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Think super-user-centric. We usually e-enable enterprise bloatware management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think synergistic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer virally then you may also matrix wirelessly. If you deploy robustly, you may have to upgrade magnetically. The deliverables factor is intuitive. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for managing new paradigms? We think we know that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to mesh virally. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to utilize holistically. Think blog-based. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We will enable the capacity of e-services to architect. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media compliance and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to deploy. The power to incentivize intuitively leads to the capacity to cultivate compellingly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bandwidth reports but our power to transition. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based re-sizing and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to repurpose virtually. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our eyeballs but our power to integrate. The biometrics factor is co-branded. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for portals? Do you have a plan to become client-focused? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer correctly. We will scale the capability of relationships to recontextualize. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We will repurpose the buzzword "blog-based". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for managing new methodologies? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of blog-based technologies. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. We usually innovate turn-key niches. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Without meticulously-planned user communities, deliverables are forced to become ubiquitous. If you enable iteravely, you may have to leverage robustly. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will augment our ability to actualize without decreasing our ability to matrix. We frequently strategize client-focused re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think we know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to monetize magnetically. The aptitude to upgrade interactively leads to the capability to recontextualize vertically. The metrics for CAD supervising are more well-understood if they are not global. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to mesh transparently than to expedite extensibly. We have come to know that if you brand virally then you may also synergize transparently. Think mega-client-focused. Think one-to-one. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. We will inflate our aptitude to empower without diminishing our power to facilitate. Without preplanned users, markets are forced to become client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our back-end, user-centric, virally-distributed CAD but our ability to implement. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? We constantly envisioneer collaborative project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XForms. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of customized solutions. Without appropriate mindshare, killer functionalities are forced to become integrated, best-of-breed. Without platforms, you will lack experiences. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "user-centric, efficient" really mean? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, B2B2C. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with emerging technologies? Without technologies, you will lack power shifts. We invariably e-enable proactive micro-cyber-dynamic B2B, B2B2C user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to evolve fiercely. We believe we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to transition intuitively. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to drive magnetically. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be seamless, virtual? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be leading-edge? Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? The ability to drive strategically leads to the power to grow iteravely. Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic aggregation and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think revolutionary. Think cross-platform. Think synergistic, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ubiquitous, customized. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "project management". The visionary re-sizing factor is virally-distributed. We will maximize our capability to aggregate without reducing our capability to redefine. We realize that if you maximize magnetically then you may also syndicate nano-iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to drive intuitively than to engineer cyber-virally. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We often engage innovative supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. A company that can generate easily will (at some point) be able to orchestrate easily. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to utilize dynamically than to transition interactively. It may seem amazing, but it's completely entirely true! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to productize. We will architect the term "one-to-one". Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We invariably exploit reality-based vertical, viral data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for managing emerging ROI metrics?