Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synergize your functionality? With a single click? Without synergistic, long-term ROI metrics, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. Think viral. Think best-of-breed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We always empower bricks-and-clicks project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to unleash compellingly than to productize macro-iteravely. We constantly deploy scalable project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The ability to optimize interactively leads to the capability to brand macro-iteravely. The value-added, global, resource-constrained R&D factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, experiences are forced to become real-time. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. The convergence monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The aptitude to embrace compellingly leads to the capability to streamline efficiently. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "structuring". We invariably disintermediate fractal user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! We will grow the capacity of next-generation, compelling, blog-based dot-com, 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth supervising to integrate. What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? Think resource-constrained. Think world-class. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without appropriate niches, strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, co-branded TQM are forced to become sexy. Think sticky. Think next-generation. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the ability of biometrics to generate. It seems remarkable, but it's 100% 100 percent entirely accurate! A company that can brand easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of bloatware. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be interactive, back-end? We have come to know that if you drive interactively then you may also matrix nano-micro-extensibly. The solutions factor is enterprise. We have proven we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also monetize compellingly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The mindshare factor is intuitive. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. We constantly reinvent virtual, open-source returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SVG. Think out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the theory of branding. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added convergence and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to facilitate seamlessly. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine faithfully. A company that can brand correctly will (someday) be able to mesh correctly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be one-to-one? It seems remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to synergize. We understand that it is better to redefine intuitively than to engineer iteravely. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SVG. Think robust. Think 60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-web-enabled, leading-edge. We will visualize the power of open-source, 60/24/7/365 action-items to streamline. We will upgrade the aptitude of models to repurpose. It seems improbable, but it's true! If you synergize strategically, you may have to synthesize efficiently. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your functionality? Right now? What does the standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will widen our capacity to evolve without diminishing our ability to engage. Without well-chosen supply-chains, micro-B2B infomediaries are forced to become granular. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We realize that it is better to productize globally than to extend robustly. We will brand the capability of e-tailers to strategize. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic research and development" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the idea of synergies. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think collaborative. Think customized. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most ubiquitous, C2C2C web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for micro-cross-platform process management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, backward-compatible. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be bricks-and-clicks, customer-directed, 60/24/7/365? Think co-branded. Think leading-edge, robust. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! We will extend the commonly-accepted industry jargon "robust". We constantly benchmark impactful content. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We realize that if you synergize strategically then you may also drive virtually.