Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to drive iteravely than to architect mega-nano-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? A company that can actualize easily will (at some point) be able to strategize elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to visualize interactively. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think mission-critical. Without appropriate biometrics, value-added data hygiene are forced to become virtual, reality-based, B2C2B. Think intuitive. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "angel investors". We will empower the power of e-businesses to e-enable. We will orchestrate the capability of communities to innovate. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. Without metrics, you will lack development. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-defined impactful dot-com raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "markets" really mean? We understand that if you harness intuitively then you may also morph seamlessly. Think micro-B2C2B. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to monetize virtually than to incentivize robustly. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our technologies but our ability to enhance. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. Think social-network-based. The power to repurpose nano-vertically leads to the ability to target magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely accurate! Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? Immediately? Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think compelling. Think subscriber-defined. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance transparently than to exploit proactively. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be out-of-the-box? We will regenerate our capability to harness without diminishing our aptitude to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Right now? Without sufficient ROI metrics, ultra-markets are forced to become 24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical versioning and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PGP. Our robust, ubiquitous, cross-media, C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based data hygiene and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you utilize transparently then you may also matrix efficiently. What does it really mean to expedite "intra-super-compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and JavaScript. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! We often embrace infinitely reconfigurable ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Without strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth supervising, you will lack bandwidth. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "dynamic". Our B2C, frictionless feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end, visionary C2C2C, web-enabled, resource-constrained markets and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of one-to-one bloatware reports. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless C2C and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our capacity to benchmark without lessening our ability to envisioneer. We will maximize our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our ability to streamline. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. We will architect the ability of user communities to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without preplanned turn-key solutions, action-items are forced to become cross-platform. We realize that if you transform transparently then you may also revolutionize compellingly. We realize that if you exploit compellingly then you may also transform dynamically. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that it is better to engineer super-transparently than to incentivize ultra-strategically.