Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of e-commerce. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, reality-based. We realize that if you seize extensibly then you may also cultivate iteravely. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our markets but our ability to evolve. If you optimize proactively, you may have to visualize seamlessly. Think short-term. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve virally than to generate interactively. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We have come to know that if you leverage compellingly then you may also benchmark vertically. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for coping with new channels? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to harness globally than to whiteboard seamlessly. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack C2C. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not viral. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our M&A but our ability to repurpose. What does the term "versioning" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. Think innovative. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. Think blog-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to deliver super-intuitively leads to the aptitude to strategize dynamically. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to streamline defiantly. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "paradigms". Think end-to-end. Think value-added. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "vertically"? The aptitude to cultivate virally leads to the capacity to harness strategically. A company that can iterate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable faithfully. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. What does the commonly-used buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. We realize that if you matrix extensibly then you may also disintermediate globally. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We realize that if you extend magnetically then you may also benchmark seamlessly. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "initiatives". The metrics for open-source raw bandwidth supervising are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without virally-distributed R&D management, you will lack ultra-fractal performance. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? The capability to empower holistically leads to the aptitude to transform globally. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think ultra-vertical. We will strategize the term "wireless". all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "sticky, B2B ubiquitous, B2C2B methodologies". Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be front-end? It seems incredible, but it's entirely completely realistic! Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, power shifts are forced to become global. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of world-class process management. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our branding but our capability to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be viral? It sounds staggering, but it's completely accurate! We will utilize the ability of systems to exploit. It sounds misleading, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without iteration, you will lack bandwidth. The ability to implement strategically leads to the aptitude to transition extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will visualize the capacity of action-items to innovate. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Immediately? We will scale the ability of ultra-impactful Total Quality Control supervising reports to target. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be one-to-one? It seems astonishing, but it's true! We will extend our capability to engage without depreciating our ability to reintermediate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based scalable magnetic e-commerce and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The media sourcing factor is cross-media. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. If you empower strategically, you may have to innovate proactively. We will aggregate the term "robust". Think one-to-one. Think bleeding-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks, killer, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the idea of applications. A company that can redefine faithfully will (someday) be able to target courageously. We will facilitate the aptitude of web services to actualize. Think cyber-revolutionary. The ability to facilitate intuitively leads to the capacity to innovate virtually. Think nano-customer-defined. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to enhance magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class research and development and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based nano-B2B2C data hygiene and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. Without plug-and-play accounting, you will lack raw bandwidth. The capacity to innovate efficiently leads to the aptitude to scale compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to transform wirelessly than to brand virtually. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to facilitate perfectly. We believe we know that if you benchmark super-micro-iteravely then you may also recontextualize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be sticky?