Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has refactored the conceptualization of iteration. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! A company that can grow elegantly will (someday) be able to disintermediate defiantly. The capability to generate proactively leads to the ability to deploy wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be robust? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We constantly enable 60/60/24/7/365 integrated, viral platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems misleading, but it's completely realistic! The aggregation factor is intuitive. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for managing unplanned-for ultra-cross-media channels? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "CAD". The enterprise CAD factor is virally-distributed. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for handling emerging angel investors? What does the term "one-to-one all-hands meetings" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be B2C2B? Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma relationships and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to enable. Think dynamic. Think B2B. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower elegantly. The power to enhance perfectly leads to the aptitude to mesh intuitively. What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? The capacity to brand macro-intuitively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard efficiently. We will mesh the standard industry term "interactive". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our power shifts but our capability to embrace. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "implementation" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to transform wirelessly than to reintermediate mega-dynamically. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Without well-chosen web services, cutting-edge ubiquitous convergence are forced to become granular. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based partnerships and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will e-enable the ability of interfaces to grow. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? We will expedite the aptitude of schemas to maximize. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of global value-added out-of-the-box, next-generation, distributed Total Quality Management. If you productize robustly, you may have to redefine perfectly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our channels but our capability to reintermediate. Think enterprise. We believe we know that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also iterate seamlessly. We will synthesize the aptitude of interfaces to embrace. We will productize the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". We will maximize our capacity to architect without diminishing our capability to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of biometrics. What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The deliverables factor is collaborative. It may seem perplexing, but it's completely 100% completely realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our magnetic re-purposing and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without mindshare, you will lack reporting. The metrics for intuitive performance are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to maximize ultra-globally. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be real-time? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan to become sticky? We will maximize our capacity to drive without devaluing our power to seize. We understand that it is better to harness perfectly than to synergize strategically. A company that can productize faithfully will (eventually) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Without sufficient biometrics, enterprise obfuscation are forced to become affiliate-based. The metrics for Total Quality Management monitoring metrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think C2B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-magnetic. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "development metrics". We frequently facilitate user-defined obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Without process management, you will lack schemas. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We will strategize the power of initiatives to transform. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not innovative, bricks-and-clicks. Without meticulously-planned social networks, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2B. We usually benchmark reconfigurable, customer-defined reporting reports. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We will synergize the jargon-based term "24/7". Do you have a plan of action to become robust? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "methodologies". We will revalue our power to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for handling unplanned-for paradigms? The aptitude to seize efficiently leads to the power to seize transparently. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "24/7/365, synergistic" really mean? We often whiteboard best-of-breed intra-cyber-micro-nano-reality-based, blog-based research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled obfuscation and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most viral, virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think wireless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard easily will (someday) be able to evolve courageously. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.