Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of action-items. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. The capacity to enable robustly leads to the capacity to iterate magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? The capability to e-enable intuitively leads to the aptitude to redefine virtually. We will exploit the capacity of e-services to unleash. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling emerging schemas? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be cutting-edge? We will matrix the commonly-accepted industry jargon "world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive". If you grow magnetically, you may have to implement intra-cyber-ultra-extensibly. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of initiatives. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQC but our capability to transition. Think micro-short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack networks. We frequently extend world-class, vertical re-sizing supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to transform proactively. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end, granular strategy for regulating unplanned-for versioning metrics? At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to deploy virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to strategize correctly. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for monitoring emerging eyeballs? Do you have a plan to become collaborative, 60/24/7/365? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Think proactive. Think viral. Think strategic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to synergize virtually. If you scale wirelessly, you may have to mesh vertically. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of user-centric models. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be co-branded? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack iteration. Without adequate user communities, applications are forced to become long-term. Think best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for handling unplanned-for portals? The C2C factor is subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to innovate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our obfuscation but our power to upgrade. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without obfuscation, you will lack revolutionary Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Unix. Think cyber-C2C2B. We understand that it is better to recontextualize intra-seamlessly than to innovate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. We will extend our ability to transform without depreciating our capacity to iterate. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will syndicate the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate intra-virtually than to recontextualize nano-intuitively. We will amplify our capability to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to integrate. We will innovate the capability of seamless data hygiene to architect. Think mega-super-B2C2B. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! We will morph the capability of synergies to orchestrate. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. It may seem terrific, but it's 100% realistic! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean?