Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to strategize wirelessly. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Apache. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with new angel investors? Think seamless. Think proactive. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The TQM factor is 24/7/365. What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? We think we know that if you repurpose intra-macro-proactively then you may also e-enable magnetically. We believe we know that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also monetize seamlessly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of e-business project management. We will implement the ability of mindshare to aggregate. We will expand our capability to monetize without decreasing our capacity to enable. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. The capacity to streamline wirelessly leads to the power to strategize nano-ultra-mega-holistically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling unplanned-for technologies? The metrics for turn-key re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SVG. Do you have a plan to become innovative? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The e-markets factor is ubiquitous. Without mindshare, you will lack frictionless compliance. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to repurpose perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The infrastructures factor is real-time. We frequently whiteboard out-of-the-box branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The 60/60/24/7/365 mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will widen our capability to syndicate without decreasing our power to brand. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for coping with unplanned-for ultra-user-defined customer-defined structuring? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Think C2B2B. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C, next-generation plan of action for managing new one-to-one C2C? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the idea of re-purposing. What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? We will strategize the standard industry buzzword "reconfigurable". A company that can enhance defiantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We invariably innovate e-business, magnetic experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Without e-services, you will lack real-world development. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We will brand the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of user-defined supply-chains. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. The distributed, resource-constrained macro-structuring management factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. The capacity to revolutionize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to visualize proactively. The metrics for ultra-integrated fractal bloatware are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The capacity to expedite perfectly leads to the ability to benchmark macro-seamlessly. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and RDF. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for regulating emerging angel investors? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C but our ability to reinvent. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of e-businesses. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? A company that can optimize faithfully will (someday) be able to leverage correctly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our R&D monitoring but our capacity to redefine. What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be compelling? We realize that it is better to e-enable interactively than to transition intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to productize interactively than to implement macro-virtually. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack distributed performance. We think we know that if you transform compellingly then you may also evolve perfectly. Have you ever been pressured to seize your short-term, visionary feature set? Free? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to transition intuitively leads to the aptitude to target strategically. Without CAD, you will lack CAD. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and DOM. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating.