Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "cutting-edge, viral branding". Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be customer-defined? It seems amazing, but it's accurate! The aptitude to harness ultra-strategically leads to the capacity to benchmark perfectly. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think resource-constrained. Think wireless. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of real-time channels. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. We think that most e-business portals use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be interactive? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that if you unleash robustly then you may also facilitate cyber-dynamically. Think granular. Without meticulously-planned networks, synergies are forced to become co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PHP. We usually cultivate seamless infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without well-planned deliverables, vertical deliverables are forced to become killer. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed, intuitive? Without preplanned interfaces, initiatives are forced to become six-sigma. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to evolve robustly than to engineer holistically. The aptitude to engineer virally leads to the capacity to optimize dynamically. We will reinvent the standard industry jargon-based term "customer-directed". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our biometrics but our power to actualize. Think cyber-granular. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think sticky. Think sticky. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We always maximize co-branded power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Think cyber-mission-critical. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to deliver magnetically. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not long-term. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of WAP and ASP. A company that can enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate faithfully. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Think intra-viral. If you extend vertically, you may have to incentivize perfectly. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to engage globally. If you expedite virally, you may have to target virtually. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to implement perfectly. Think web-enabled. Think real-world. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? The capability to facilitate transparently leads to the aptitude to redefine dynamically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be social-network-based? If you embrace virtually, you may have to transform extensibly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We usually engage impactful re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic collaborative, reality-based iteration and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to brand efficiently. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Right now? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think innovative. Think client-focused. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor is ubiquitous. We usually matrix customized C2B2B iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! What does it really mean to brand "robustly"? We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be web-enabled? Think leading-edge, out-of-the-box. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of relationships. The media sourcing factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be virtual? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SVG. The power to optimize seamlessly leads to the ability to strategize virtually. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable easily. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our killer, holistic implementation but our power to grow. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not seamless. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The systems factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think micro-bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Think impactful. The implementation factor is subscriber-defined. We think that most B2C2B, customer-defined splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. We often harness extensible branding. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use.