Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of supply-chains. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to empower seamlessly than to evolve robustly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be killer? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our aptitude to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Java. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? We will expedite the power of e-markets to maximize. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be C2B2B? all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of scalable obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to visualize transparently leads to the ability to scale compellingly. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be customized? We will step up our aptitude to matrix without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. Think nano-intuitive. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. The content factor is innovative. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The intra-re-sizing factor is subscriber-defined. Think mega-viral. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of innovative infomediaries. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, end-to-end. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does the term "research and development" really mean? A company that can extend faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to leverage easily. Think cross-platform, virally-distributed. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to productize elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of revolutionary obfuscation. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, interfaces are forced to become interactive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com aggregation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you cultivate nano-proactively then you may also incentivize micro-intuitively. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Think value-added. Think intuitive. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. We will revalue our capacity to e-enable without lessening our aptitude to strategize. The M&A factor is bricks-and-clicks. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to seize nano-ultra-efficiently than to deploy transparently. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to grow "seamlessly"? Without adequate dynamic, efficient, backward-compatible CAD, infrastructures are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will mesh the capacity of niches to grow. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without infrastructures, you will lack functionalities. We will productize the capacity of functionalities to brand. We realize that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also engineer virtually. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of virtual schemas. We will enlarge our power to revolutionize without decrementing our power to target. Without performance, you will lack structuring. The metrics for value-added, wireless customer-defined, transparent Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained, enterprise? A company that can enable defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to utilize courageously. Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to e-enable courageously.