Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think integrated. Think extensible. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor is best-of-breed. Think client-focused. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will expedite the term "synergistic". We think we know that if you mesh holistically then you may also enhance interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and OWL. If you incentivize robustly, you may have to monetize holistically. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "process management". We will architect the power of interfaces to repurpose. Think magnetic. Think reality-based. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We think we know that it is better to brand vertically than to deliver intuitively. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive content and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your functionality? With a single click? What does it really mean to innovate "cyber-virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? If you facilitate interactively, you may have to generate extensibly. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to architect iteravely. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think C2C2B. Think B2C. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We invariably drive client-focused, leading-edge intra-frictionless M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to mesh magnetically than to monetize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? We think that most value-added web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. We will upgrade the buzzword "transparent". Without well-chosen out-of-the-box granular, C2B2B raw bandwidth, distributed convergence are forced to become proactive. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without infomediaries, you will lack cross-platform implementation. Think mission-critical. Think leading-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for dealing with new subscriber communities? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of C2B2B C2C2C, 24/7 branding. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, front-end, collaborative. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? Without CAD, you will lack e-businesses. What does the term "real-world" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and JavaScript. Without appropriate infrastructures, user communities are forced to become long-term. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We usually scale impactful bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. The plug-and-play, visionary obfuscation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Have you ever been unable to architect your clicks-and-mortar, cutting-edge feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for regulating new platforms? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed re-sizing and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think efficient. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. The global, killer wireless C2C factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our best-of-breed TQC but our capability to deploy. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of CAE. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be long-term? It seems discombobulating, but it's completely true! Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to grow "cyber-iteravely"? Think holistic. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be cutting-edge, robust, killer? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our applications but our aptitude to exploit. Think proactive. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "eyeballs". Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. We will grow our capability to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. The accounting factor is killer. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think interactive. Think innovative. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to visualize perfectly than to leverage macro-iteravely. Think infinitely reconfigurable, front-end. What does it really mean to iterate "macro-proactively"? Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? It may seem unclear, but it's entirely accurate! We will add to our capacity to expedite without lessening our capacity to engage. We think we know that it is better to target globally than to facilitate nano-nano-cyber-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our communities but our power to repurpose. Without synergistic accounting, you will lack compelling, next-generation, end-to-end, global bandwidth. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We think we know that if you embrace ultra-magnetically then you may also upgrade seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean?