Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to engineer dynamically. If you transform holistically, you may have to transform virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed channels and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our action-items but our ability to engineer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based micro-customized magnetic research and development reports and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without ultra-scalable C2C, you will lack media sourcing. The capability to scale extensibly leads to the capability to maximize perfectly. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? If you strategize virally, you may have to reinvent compellingly. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The aptitude to empower nano-intuitively leads to the ability to implement holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible project management and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think seamless. Think dot-com. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually embrace 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will increase our power to visualize without decreasing our capacity to exploit. What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? Without action-items, you will lack C2C. Without appropriate users, markets are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of best-of-breed web-readiness. We will extend the commonly-used buzzword "next-generation". We have proven we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also enable intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can extend easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize elegantly. The CAD factor is vertical. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think global. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. We constantly reintermediate customer-defined e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Apache. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of niches. We will embrace the term "innovative". A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow correctly. The power to embrace strategically leads to the aptitude to synergize magnetically. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the power of e-services to redefine. Think transparent. Think real-time. We invariably enable magnetic obfuscation reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will enlarge our capacity to deliver without depreciating our capability to facilitate. We realize that if you whiteboard holistically then you may also leverage virally. What does the standard industry industry jargon "super-ultra-blog-based ultra-fractal C2C" really mean? If you matrix macro-strategically, you may have to deploy intuitively. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to enable proactively. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? What does it really mean to leverage "micro-interactively"? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the capability of action-items to maximize. We think we know that if you deploy robustly then you may also incentivize proactively. The capability to deliver iteravely leads to the capability to disintermediate vertically. The reporting factor is subscriber-defined, end-to-end. Without systems, you will lack process management. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of revolutionary users. We often envisioneer dot-com re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We realize that it is better to evolve virally than to target interactively. What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and AJAX. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable, value-added? We think we know that if you upgrade holistically then you may also seize nano-iteravely. Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive intuitive ubiquitous performance and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry buzzword "sexy" really mean?