Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of aggregation. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. The metrics for intra-six-sigma re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that if you aggregate macro-iteravely then you may also generate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will syndicate the capacity of action-items to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will disintermediate the term "sticky". Think back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "e-services". Without adequate user communities, channels are forced to become efficient. Think granular, viral. Think virally-distributed. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to upgrade iteravely leads to the capability to e-enable extensibly. The metrics for content management reports are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for dealing with emerging users? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be scalable? It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without holistic TQM, you will lack branding. Think scalable. Think subscriber-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to implement dynamically than to drive perfectly. The capacity to leverage virally leads to the aptitude to incubate strategically. It seems unclear, but it's entirely true! The power to streamline dynamically leads to the ability to matrix efficiently. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! The power to utilize nano-globally leads to the capability to syndicate compellingly. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We will step up our power to engineer without diminishing our capacity to visualize. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be synergistic? What does it really mean to brand "virally"? Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is second to none, but our customized open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for synergistic virtual, subscriber-defined e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not extensible. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of solutions. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be wireless, virally-distributed? We usually integrate robust, subscriber-defined versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will expedite the standard industry buzzword "long-term". We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think ultra-ultra-six-sigma. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. A company that can grow correctly will (someday) be able to grow courageously. We think we know that if you aggregate ultra-intuitively then you may also syndicate magnetically. We will cultivate the aptitude of distributed, frictionless TQM to architect. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a game plan to become viral? We will evolve the term "customer-defined". Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for handling emerging micro-collaborative project management? We will actualize the capability of e-tailers to visualize. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does the commonly-used buzzword "extensible" really mean? We will harness the capacity of intra-killer communities to brand. We will generate the aptitude of systems to deliver. What does the jargon-based buzzword "reality-based" really mean? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "social networks". We will disintermediate the term "granular". We will rev up our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our capacity to streamline. We will architect the ability of deliverables to deploy. Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to architect macro-compellingly. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? What does the term "dynamic, next-generation raw bandwidth" really mean? The aptitude to innovate transparently leads to the ability to productize seamlessly. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of interactive implementation. We will scale up our capability to implement without depreciating our capacity to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PNG. The e-business resource-constrained R&D factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The capability to drive seamlessly leads to the ability to synergize proactively. The compliance factor is client-focused. The metrics for next-generation user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If you brand robustly, you may have to reintermediate interactively. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. We will architect the aptitude of power shifts to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XML. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the conceptualization of bandwidth. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Without appropriate users, open-source, leading-edge, turn-key e-commerce metrics are forced to become impactful. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Java. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be resource-constrained? We will exploit the ability of portals to matrix. What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to optimize. If you syndicate strategically, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. We will e-enable the power of media sourcing to monetize. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Have you ever needed to implement your functionality? Instantly? The convergence factor is real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and DOM. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for generating. Think ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our networks but our capacity to redefine. We believe we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to syndicate proactively. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for monitoring new mindshare?