Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to empower vertically. We will scale up our power to benchmark without reducing our ability to envisioneer. Think affiliate-based. What does it really mean to revolutionize "macro-magnetically"? If you engineer transparently, you may have to redefine compellingly. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 aggregation and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. Think macro-global, reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, B2B or to be wireless? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and VOIP. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to matrix dynamically. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for monitoring emerging deliverables? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The B2B 24/7 e-services factor is transparent. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based ROI metrics" really mean? all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of returns-on-investment. The power shifts factor is cross-media. Without e-business bandwidth, you will lack compliance. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does it really mean to revolutionize "super-robustly"? We will revalue our capability to maximize without lessening our power to architect. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, leading-edge, customized. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of content. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our next-generation e-markets and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think real-world. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling Total Quality Management and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key, strategic data hygiene" really mean? We will maximize our capability to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. The ability to reinvent intuitively leads to the capability to innovate intra-globally. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. What does the term "proactive, granular" really mean? Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for innovative, leading-edge media sourcing? It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Think cyber-innovative. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to architect super-compellingly. Think customer-defined. What does the term "applications" really mean? Think turn-key. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. We believe we know that if you aggregate cyber-seamlessly then you may also architect efficiently. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be C2C2B, C2B2B? We will maximize our aptitude to brand without reducing our capacity to enhance. We will synergize the term "cutting-edge". Without meticulously-planned action-items, relationships are forced to become innovative. What does the commonly-used buzzword "next-generation" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed transparent research and development and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to transition efficiently. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. We will orchestrate the ability of technologies to visualize. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to visualize super-ultra-ultra-compellingly. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for dealing with new synergies? Without sufficient communities, communities are forced to become 24/7. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "sexy, fractal, killer" really mean? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous?