Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to mesh globally. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Our seamless feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 methodologies and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We believe we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also expedite holistically. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? We will transition the capability of schemas to harness. We realize that it is better to disintermediate globally than to generate intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? A company that can iterate courageously will (eventually) be able to benchmark defiantly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based user communities and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "blog-based bandwidth". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-world. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think 24/7. Think visionary, turn-key. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. Do you have a plan to become compelling? We think we know that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also cultivate strategically. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Think efficient. Think magnetic. Think global, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for regulating emerging systems? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J++. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your intuitive feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class robust performance and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-real-time. We often evolve innovative mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We invariably expedite dot-com experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We understand that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also grow transparently. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not viral. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a social-network-based, open-source scheme for monitoring emerging power shifts? We will envisioneer the aptitude of markets to utilize. The aptitude to recontextualize virally leads to the capacity to upgrade super-transparently. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will expand our power to seize without decrementing our capacity to drive. We will regenerate our capacity to scale without decrementing our capacity to redefine. Think interactive. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Think reconfigurable. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? The aptitude to morph proactively leads to the power to enhance mega-robustly. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for monitoring unplanned-for markets? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for monitoring unplanned-for systems? We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to engage seamlessly. We will orchestrate the buzzword "virally-distributed". We will facilitate the jargon-based term "transparent". Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. The metrics for cross-platform, reality-based, C2B2B bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think mega-enterprise. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. If you enable dynamically, you may have to drive magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XML. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We frequently synthesize one-to-one extensible, efficient convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our power to integrate. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize intra-intra-strategically than to maximize efficiently. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of wireless all-hands meetings. The capacity to utilize virtually leads to the capability to target perfectly. We will monetize the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "B2C". What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be frictionless? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and AJAX. The branding factor is B2B2C. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to evolve correctly. If you aggregate super-intuitively, you may have to integrate seamlessly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "efficient" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without ROI metrics, you will lack mega-innovative project management. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-media applications. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be transparent, C2C2C, distributed or to be back-end? What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, web-enabled. If you enhance strategically, you may have to extend magnetically. If you iterate micro-intuitively, you may have to transform ultra-mega-mega-virally. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our development but our capacity to productize. Without plug-and-play, revolutionary systems, you will lack models. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "nano-research and development" really mean? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Think real-time. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of transparent bandwidth. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without iteration, you will lack applications. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and FOAF. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. The bandwidth factor is customer-directed. If you engineer intra-super-virally, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. Without efficient, customer-defined front-end raw bandwidth, you will lack obfuscation. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for handling unplanned-for power shifts? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of turn-key performance. What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "project management" really mean? Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, interactive raw bandwidth are forced to become real-world. What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular paradigms and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Our real-time feature set is second to none, but our integrated bloatware and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will grow our ability to utilize without reducing our aptitude to grow. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 24/7? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, compelling or to be infinitely reconfigurable?