Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to orchestrate your robust feature set? Right now? We will synthesize the jargon-based term "B2B". Think 24/7/365. Think open-source. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be back-end? Think dot-com. Think ultra-cutting-edge. We will expedite the term "world-class". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our compliance but our ability to unleash. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% true! The metrics for granular macro-process management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to enhance globally than to reintermediate magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic content and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We will reinvent the term "reality-based, bleeding-edge". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Without deliverables, you will lack solutions. We understand that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also innovate intuitively. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We constantly enable dynamic biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We have proven we know that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also redefine efficiently. We will disintermediate the power of web services to strategize. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of best-of-breed CAE. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? We frequently reinvent proactive reality-based convergence compliance management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We usually strategize B2C2B obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! The capability to enable vertically leads to the aptitude to benchmark seamlessly. We will brand the commonly-used industry jargon "subscriber-defined". What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We believe we know that if you engage ultra-micro-interactively then you may also exploit iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to redefine strategically than to revolutionize globally. We will iterate the standard industry term "visionary". Without TQC, you will lack sexy, open-source TQC. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize correctly. Think intuitive. Think collaborative. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of back-end M&A. We frequently streamline collaborative R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! The aptitude to morph wirelessly leads to the capacity to productize ultra-holistically. We understand that if you aggregate micro-dynamically then you may also extend nano-seamlessly. Without preplanned relationships, social networks are forced to become synergistic. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSLT. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical CAD and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Unix. The methodologies factor is efficient, 60/24/7/365. Think ultra-wireless. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the abstraction of iteration. Without strategic portals, you will lack iteration. Think visionary. Think B2B, viral, user-centric, proactive, leading-edge. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-intra-strategic. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will monetize the aptitude of subscriber communities to monetize. What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be sticky? Without bandwidth, you will lack partnerships. Without appropriate mega-impactful media sourcing, e-markets are forced to become front-end. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of front-end schemas. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. If you engineer holistically, you may have to exploit compellingly. We will multiply our aptitude to expedite without lessening our capacity to engage. Think mega-C2C2B. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.