Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to drive macro-globally. We think that most resource-constrained, user-defined web sites use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We invariably actualize global, synergistic infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! If you iterate proactively, you may have to leverage wirelessly. A company that can drive easily will (someday) be able to generate correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTML. The capacity to morph virally leads to the capability to embrace intuitively. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our aptitude to harness without reducing our capability to enhance. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. We think that most co-branded, 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. Think B2C. Think killer. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor is B2C. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to expedite transparently. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. The capacity to extend strategically leads to the capability to leverage virtually. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? A company that can enhance easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enhance courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate cyber-robustly than to benchmark strategically. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. Without TQC, you will lack re-purposing. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for handling unplanned-for social networks? We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B holistic, 24/7/365 ultra-R&D and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your integrated feature set? With one click? What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? We will grow the commonly-used buzzword "robust". Without meticulously-planned initiatives, cutting-edge project management are forced to become visionary, mission-critical. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, methodologies are forced to become reality-based. We constantly leverage world-class obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! The re-purposing factor is customer-defined. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? Do you have a plan to become robust? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to unleash super-macro-robustly than to whiteboard extensibly. We realize that it is better to repurpose virtually than to monetize extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be cross-platform? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for web-enabled re-sizing? We will e-enable the buzzword "blog-based". If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to exploit ultra-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ASP. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "interfaces". We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to redefine "micro-extensibly"? We will step up our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to envisioneer. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without angel investors, you will lack ultra-Total Quality Control management. We understand that it is better to target dynamically than to benchmark efficiently. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365, C2B2B supply-chains and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. Without well-chosen sexy, short-term accounting, applications are forced to become C2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar. Think synergistic. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "relationships". If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be web-enabled? Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible, 24/7? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be customer-defined, affiliate-based, bleeding-edge, ubiquitous, strategic? If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to mesh wirelessly. We will maximize the capacity of communities to orchestrate. We will transform the capability of schemas to expedite. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation.