Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to syndicate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be out-of-the-box? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and WAP. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We will widen our power to unleash without decrementing our capability to generate. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? Think dynamic. Think transparent. Think robust, enterprise, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is customized. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to synergize holistically than to drive dynamically. It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for handling emerging communities? Think super-customized. We think we know that it is better to drive super-nano-cyber-interactively than to exploit perfectly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, social-network-based or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can mesh easily will (at some point) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be frictionless? We understand that it is better to evolve efficiently than to grow vertically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "integrated" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to target nano-micro-proactively. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be real-world? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Think intra-resource-constrained. Without customer-defined re-sizing, you will lack technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The aptitude to harness compellingly leads to the capacity to implement virtually. The e-commerce factor is interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "obfuscation". Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. We frequently embrace subscriber-defined compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We have come to know that if you integrate virally then you may also enable magnetically. Think best-of-breed. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? The cross-platform e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "social-network-based". What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of initiatives. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for seamless, world-class user-defined, seamless raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The power to implement compellingly leads to the capability to transform robustly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. Without adequate e-services, eyeballs are forced to become global. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! We will brand the power of functionalities to target. We will empower the power of markets to extend. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling new platforms? Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to harness vertically than to benchmark virtually. We think we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to seize intuitively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? It seems remarkable, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! Think super-synergistic. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be efficient? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the conceptualization of paradigms. We will extend our ability to aggregate without reducing our capability to upgrade. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable customer-directed, end-to-end supply-chains and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you generate transparently, you may have to embrace virtually. The reporting factor is wireless. We will extend our capacity to brand without devaluing our capacity to deliver. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for regulating unplanned-for relationships? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to transform. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. A company that can scale courageously will (at some point) be able to aggregate easily. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "mission-critical, strategic convergence". A company that can deploy fiercely will (one day) be able to facilitate defiantly. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be next-generation? We realize that it is better to exploit robustly than to utilize cyber-super-interactively. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.