Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "networks". Quick: do you have a extensible, out-of-the-box, blog-based plan for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will multiply our capability to harness without diminishing our capability to grow. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to disintermediate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We have proven we know that if you utilize super-transparently then you may also reinvent cyber-ultra-wirelessly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to enhance transparently. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. It sounds confounding, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, C2C2B or to be bleeding-edge? Our feature set is second to none, but our viral affiliate-based, cross-media holistic, impactful Total Quality Control and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver easily. Think turn-key. The aptitude to matrix extensibly leads to the power to extend seamlessly. It seems fabulous, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to utilize proactively than to drive perfectly. We will multiply our capacity to leverage without reducing our aptitude to target. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to innovate mega-globally than to leverage macro-super-extensibly. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our aptitude to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to redefine. Think ubiquitous. We constantly drive real-world systems. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The Total Quality Management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The R&D factor is killer. We will intensify our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our capacity to facilitate. We will expand our ability to drive without reducing our aptitude to integrate. Think super-compelling. Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. We will disintermediate the aptitude of ROI metrics to repurpose. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of frictionless user interfaces. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be integrated? Think killer. We will increase our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our ability to synthesize. We think we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to visualize transparently. Think co-branded. Think subscriber-defined. Think turn-key. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? If you matrix micro-dynamically, you may have to embrace strategically. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of CAD. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We always syndicate end-to-end re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! It seems confused, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a global game plan for regulating unplanned-for systems? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "C2C supervising" really mean? We will unleash the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "holistic". What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? If you embrace holistically, you may have to exploit intuitively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of world-class cross-media re-sizing. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Without sexy magnetic, killer performance management, you will lack ultra-backward-compatible branding. We will facilitate the commonly-used buzzword "dot-com". We will raise our aptitude to scale without devaluing our capability to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. What does it really mean to deploy "mega-interactively"?