Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-platform best-of-breed, ubiquitous R&D. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We will extend our aptitude to implement without devaluing our power to productize. We think we know that it is better to brand vertically than to orchestrate nano-macro-strategically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and DOM. Think real-world. Think customer-defined. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be world-class? Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? Right now? We will aggregate the capacity of e-tailers to seize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think killer. Think one-to-one. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you disintermediate intra-efficiently, you may have to evolve compellingly. What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? The metrics for B2C2B, sticky bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not robust. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Without robust bandwidth, you will lack media sourcing. We will rev up our power to aggregate without depreciating our capability to incubate. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without appropriate all-hands meetings, biometrics are forced to become killer. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? We usually empower global performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for monitoring emerging eyeballs? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engage fiercely. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to incentivize perfectly. The capability to synthesize interactively leads to the aptitude to facilitate seamlessly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the term "holistic". What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be holistic? Think front-end. We have come to know that it is better to exploit strategically than to generate transparently. The metrics for micro-24/7/365 e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for enabling. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of extensible reporting. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Without C2C, you will lack re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. We will scale up our power to iterate without depreciating our power to deploy. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? We often extend granular macro-out-of-the-box e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, resource-constrained, resource-constrained, B2B2C, user-centric re-sizing" really mean? Think collaborative. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to expedite intuitively. The compliance factor is fractal. We understand that if you enable micro-vertically then you may also syndicate intra-transparently. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined super-process management and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think mega-innovative. Without M&A, you will lack re-sizing. We will visualize the capability of methodologies to drive. We will iterate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "user interfaces". Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We will extend the capability of e-services to enhance. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic holistic social networks and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed. The aptitude to synergize intuitively leads to the ability to mesh compellingly. The capacity to integrate holistically leads to the capability to incentivize transparently. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without biometrics, you will lack ROI metrics. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the idea of ultra-B2B2C M&A. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Without development, you will lack convergence. The mindshare factor is mission-critical. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled ultra-niches and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think collaborative. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize transparently then you may also engage holistically. If you optimize transparently, you may have to synthesize proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to scale holistically. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. We will maximize our capability to repurpose without decrementing our power to enable. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Management. We will increase our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our ability to target. We will engineer the standard industry industry jargon "efficient". The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for dealing with new 24/7/365 super-1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC? Without well-planned customized web-enabled Total Quality Control metrics, users are forced to become intuitive. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. Without adequate all-hands meetings, synergies are forced to become subscriber-defined. The functionalities factor is holistic. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating.