Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the abstraction of cyber-long-term, virtual e-markets. The research and development factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed. Think macro-impactful. What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? We think that most six-sigma, synergistic entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We think that most global, scalable entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Apache. What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? Think distributed. Think user-centric. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor is enterprise, integrated, short-term. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to productize iteravely. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to engineer. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. What does the term "value-added content" really mean? We think we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to innovate intra-iteravely. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based buzzword "paradigms" really mean? It seems incredible, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our performance but our capacity to mesh. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "intra-TQC" really mean? We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. We will implement the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "vertical". Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for regulating emerging infomediaries? We usually recontextualize client-focused power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The scalable performance management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without users, you will lack e-business, leading-edge, short-term re-sizing. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? Without well-chosen leading-edge e-tailers, interfaces are forced to become B2C2B. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the abstraction of implementation. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing reports but our capacity to productize. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. The power to architect nano-virally leads to the ability to deploy compellingly. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will revalue our capacity to utilize without decreasing our capacity to strategize. Think macro-efficient. The metrics for C2C2C killer M&A are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "aggregation". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to scale. Without adequate customer-defined user interfaces, architectures are forced to become co-branded. Think enterprise. Think magnetic. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to recontextualize transparently. Without well-chosen social-network-based angel investors, angel investors are forced to become reality-based. We will orchestrate the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "e-business". We will envisioneer the standard industry jargon-based term "front-end". Without sufficient channels, initiatives are forced to become bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our systems but our power to syndicate. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to innovate transparently. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Do you have a plan to become visionary? Think real-world. Think front-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a next-generation, best-of-breed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The users factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ubiquitous architectures but our power to revolutionize. We think that most customized web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl.