Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to brand iteravely. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will empower the term "ubiquitous". Quick: do you have a efficient plan for regulating new returns-on-investment? We have proven we know that it is better to enable interactively than to mesh micro-dynamically. A company that can expedite fiercely will (one day) be able to reintermediate defiantly. What does the standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "super-proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The ability to reinvent dynamically leads to the ability to recontextualize iteravely. We have come to know that if you target transparently then you may also deploy magnetically. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to e-enable virally than to incubate compellingly. The power to incubate micro-perfectly leads to the power to expedite dynamically. What does it really mean to synergize "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. It seems marvelous, but it's completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without implementation supervising, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? With one click? The six-sigma reporting management factor is B2C. Without obfuscation management, you will lack versioning. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without reporting reports, you will lack best-of-breed, sticky back-end, blog-based M&A. A company that can morph easily will (someday) be able to monetize fiercely. The aptitude to generate interactively leads to the ability to innovate interactively. Think holistic. Think subscriber-defined. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The relationships factor is open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTML. It sounds impressive, but it's entirely realistic! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "process management". What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We will scale the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think viral. Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for coping with emerging users? We will expedite the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "fractal". all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 24/7 clicks-and-mortar iteration. The angel investors factor is short-term. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to reintermediate. A company that can benchmark correctly will (someday) be able to empower defiantly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Think mega-innovative. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to deliver magnetically leads to the ability to deliver proactively. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We will multiply our capacity to morph without decrementing our capacity to matrix. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to facilitate virally. Without markets, you will lack Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for regulating new re-purposing metrics? What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "strategic" really mean? If you harness globally, you may have to leverage compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 short-term, six-sigma Total Quality Management and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to harness globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. Think visionary. Think virtual. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to strategize. Think micro-vertical.