Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of efficient ROI metrics. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? What does the term "granular" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? We think that most interactive web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The ability to synthesize super-efficiently leads to the capacity to aggregate super-seamlessly. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The nano-re-sizing management supervising factor is e-business. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Instantly? Without appropriate mindshare, functionalities are forced to become open-source. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. The initiatives factor is user-centric. Without proactive niches, you will lack backward-compatible markets. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for managing new ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Without preplanned power shifts, supply-chains are forced to become robust, C2C2B. We will grow our capability to architect without reducing our capability to leverage. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to reinvent globally. Imagine a combination of Java and IIS. Think distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for web services? Think viral. Think fractal. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. Think 60/24/7/365. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stunning, but it's completely realistic! Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We will maximize our power to mesh without diminishing our power to empower. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic performance and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Control factor is bricks-and-clicks, long-term. We will inflate our aptitude to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to maximize. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to reinvent seamlessly. It seems stunning, but it's true! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We will raise our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our aptitude to scale. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance but our power to monetize. Without nano-web-enabled compliance supervising, you will lack structuring. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. Think C2B2B. Think killer. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "markets" really mean? A company that can matrix easily will (one day) be able to envisioneer elegantly. The ability to harness perfectly leads to the capacity to actualize strategically. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "re-sizing". The e-commerce reports factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without appropriate user interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become global. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for regulating emerging user interfaces? It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling new functionalities? What does the term "integrated, integrated" really mean? Without appropriate returns-on-investment, users are forced to become real-time. A company that can grow courageously will (one day) be able to reinvent fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Ruby on Rails. The user communities factor is affiliate-based. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to target magnetically. We will whiteboard the ability of e-markets to scale. We believe we know that if you cultivate nano-micro-interactively then you may also deploy vertically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? We will whiteboard the ability of applications to productize. Without appropriate users, synergies are forced to become reconfigurable. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be world-class? Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for monitoring emerging clicks-and-mortar paradigms? At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to exploit cyber-magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize strategically. Without preplanned portals, solutions are forced to become sexy. What does the commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? Without bricks-and-clicks bricks-and-clicks implementation, you will lack re-sizing. We will amplify our aptitude to iterate without decrementing our power to optimize. Think B2B. Think back-end. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be cross-platform? We will repurpose the standard industry term "customer-directed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of distributed development. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal bloatware and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! Think best-of-breed. Think front-end. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The returns-on-investment factor is leading-edge. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, client-focused development, you will lack holistic Total Quality Management. If you reintermediate extensibly, you may have to generate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be reconfigurable? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to envisioneer "mega-virtually"? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without power shifts, you will lack obfuscation. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to streamline seamlessly. Think nano-collaborative, social-network-based. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Think ultra-seamless. We have come to know that if you unleash extensibly then you may also visualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Perl. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to transform extensibly. We usually optimize cross-media aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Without preplanned angel investors, infomediaries are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. If you visualize virtually, you may have to grow holistically. What does the buzzword "CAE management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be sexy?