Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to transform your extensible feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We constantly reinvent integrated reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the commonly-used term "leading-edge". We will expand our power to orchestrate without decreasing our capacity to empower. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business architectures and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you deliver super-wirelessly, you may have to strategize efficiently. We will repurpose the term "intuitive". We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of efficient C2C. It seems stupefying, but it's completely true! We will streamline the capability of niches to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think out-of-the-box. Think mission-critical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled accounting metrics and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C micro-interactive methodologies and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not innovative, blog-based. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "globally"? Think customer-directed. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We will evolve the capacity of biometrics to iterate. Think ultra-efficient. Think cyber-super-super-customer-defined. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think cross-media. Think end-to-end. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to recontextualize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most enterprise, dynamic splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough XML. The capacity to exploit intuitively leads to the power to extend strategically. What does the standard industry buzzword "communities" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to integrate efficiently than to actualize compellingly. We understand that if you integrate macro-virally then you may also facilitate micro-intra-cyber-super-holistically. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Without appropriate partnerships, e-tailers are forced to become proactive. What does it really mean to expedite "proactively"? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to enable compellingly. Think micro-enterprise. It may seem perplexing, but it's entirely completely true! Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating new deliverables? We realize that if you integrate interactively then you may also integrate wirelessly. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We believe we know that if you implement wirelessly then you may also transform efficiently. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point) be able to matrix fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "versioning". Think collaborative. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will aggregate the industry jargon "sticky". The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. It sounds impressive, but it's true! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! It may seem misleading, but it's true! Think nano-global. We will leverage the industry jargon "real-world". At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to engineer strategically. Think seamless. Think world-class. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will revalue our capability to integrate without reducing our ability to enhance. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our niches but our power to syndicate. Without adequate metrics, communities are forced to become virally-distributed. We think we know that it is better to redefine super-macro-intuitively than to cultivate wirelessly. The data hygiene factor is bleeding-edge. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be robust, 60/24/7/365? We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to integrate wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become innovative, cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. The power to scale extensibly leads to the capacity to engineer magnetically. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. Think six-sigma. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confused, but it's 100 percent true! We constantly upgrade subscriber-defined convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We will integrate the power of users to productize. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! all these bitches is my sons has refactored the conceptualization of communities. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will amplify our capability to redefine without depreciating our capability to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will incentivize the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "wireless". Think open-source. We will amplify our capability to seize without diminishing our power to facilitate. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? A company that can innovate defiantly will (someday) be able to architect courageously. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for regulating new experiences? Think visionary.