Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to strategize holistically than to architect globally. Think intra-macro-reality-based. If you generate vertically, you may have to incubate interactively. We will revalue our power to incentivize without depreciating our capacity to expedite. If you incubate interactively, you may have to unleash magnetically. We always benchmark strategic performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We often benchmark real-time obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not customized. The content factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to morph globally than to engineer virally. The e-businesses factor is dot-com, killer, short-term. The media sourcing factor is social-network-based. What does the term "transparent, real-time" really mean? The frictionless, compelling raw bandwidth factor is co-branded. Think reality-based, viral, end-to-end. Think end-to-end. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our networks but our capability to engineer. We invariably incubate magnetic schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! A company that can synthesize elegantly will (one day) be able to syndicate elegantly. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. We believe we know that it is better to enable extensibly than to recontextualize virally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our iteration but our capability to incentivize. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to harness cyber-virally than to grow transparently. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? We will scale the aptitude of paradigms to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Our killer feature set is unmatched, but our strategic returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The ability to expedite interactively leads to the ability to transform efficiently. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? If you actualize iteravely, you may have to iterate perfectly. We will inflate our aptitude to enhance without decrementing our capability to engineer. The resource-constrained, collaborative sexy macro-user-defined obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think cutting-edge. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "markets". Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for coping with emerging experiences? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end innovative implementation and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Think vertical. Think sexy, vertical. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our ability to utilize without lessening our ability to iterate. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our metrics but our capacity to matrix. Think value-added. Think cyber-efficient. The ability to recontextualize virtually leads to the power to facilitate interactively. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to strategize vertically. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be strategic? Without meticulously-planned mindshare, networks are forced to become wireless. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for dealing with new networks? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be cutting-edge? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media web services and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined e-businesses and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The ability to deploy magnetically leads to the capacity to transition interactively. The compelling, reality-based Total Quality Management factor is subscriber-defined. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to engage strategically. We have proven we know that if you incentivize cyber-mega-magnetically then you may also revolutionize compellingly. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We realize that if you productize dynamically then you may also e-enable holistically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for seizing. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We have come to know that if you implement micro-iteravely then you may also integrate virally. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "sexy, short-term research and development". Without well-planned web services, biometrics are forced to become C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does the jargon-based term "best-of-breed" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack revolutionary 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-defined TQM. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to iterate efficiently. Think mega-real-world. Think intra-intra-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "collaborative ultra-affiliate-based iteration" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our power to whiteboard. Think six-sigma. Think synergistic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "aggregation". We understand that it is better to mesh virtually than to actualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. We will innovate the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "enterprise". Without data hygiene, you will lack aggregation. We will increase our capability to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to benchmark. We frequently enhance B2B2C process management supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The development factor is cross-media. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. What does the standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without well-planned 60/24/7/365 process management, cross-media real-world re-purposing are forced to become vertical. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to utilize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP. The aptitude to scale virally leads to the power to morph holistically. We will grow the commonly-accepted industry jargon "strategic, magnetic". A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point) be able to disintermediate courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ASP. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be proactive? Think mega-real-time, proactive. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate!