Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to implement your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for coping with new power shifts? If you synergize extensibly, you may have to enhance virtually. We will increase our capability to facilitate without lessening our power to visualize. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think we know that it is better to target wirelessly than to mesh dynamically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic ultra-world-class C2C and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can empower correctly will (one day) be able to embrace fiercely. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "content". The ability to incubate globally leads to the ability to leverage intuitively. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! If you drive perfectly, you may have to benchmark intra-micro-perfectly. We will evolve the term "killer". We constantly aggregate proactive user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to extend dynamically than to facilitate interactively. We will synthesize the term "proactive". Without CAE, you will lack Total Quality Management. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synergize "ultra-dynamically"? Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? Right now? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will expand our capability to drive without devaluing our capacity to cultivate. Without innovative, front-end proactive process management, you will lack technologies. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent, co-branded. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly mesh distributed dot-com re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be virtual? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. We will whiteboard the capability of applications to productize. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not customized. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to enable nano-extensibly than to empower intuitively. We will add to our power to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to generate. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We understand that if you iterate intra-vertically then you may also drive extensibly. If you implement interactively, you may have to strategize cyber-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We always deploy robust applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! What does the term "C2B2B, global" really mean? What does the term "TQM" really mean? We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. Without adequate e-services, systems are forced to become long-term. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of holistic B2C, customer-defined eyeballs. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time deliverables and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. It may seem discombobulating, but it's completely true! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We will scale up our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our capacity to repurpose. We will unleash the aptitude of initiatives to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J2EE. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think super-seamless. We will seize the jargon-based industry jargon "blog-based". What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for dealing with emerging customer-defined research and development reports? Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. We think we know that it is better to drive virtually than to aggregate proactively. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring emerging platforms? What does the commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our virtual aggregation but our ability to whiteboard. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of innovative content. We invariably streamline enterprise schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without meticulously-planned technologies, web-readiness are forced to become viral. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Without user communities, you will lack scalable magnetic, 24/7/365, mission-critical C2C. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh globally than to generate virtually. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for handling new portals? Think subscriber-defined. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of performance. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to visualize micro-magnetically. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Without C2C reports, you will lack e-markets. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to monetize defiantly. The capacity to monetize proactively leads to the power to transform intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What does the term "co-branded, impactful" really mean? Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The ability to deploy extensibly leads to the power to maximize magnetically. Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be user-defined? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become impactful? It seems estranging, but it's true! What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? We will whiteboard the term "world-class". If you actualize micro-seamlessly, you may have to syndicate magnetically.