Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? What does the buzzword "frictionless, efficient" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! A company that can enable correctly will (someday) be able to aggregate correctly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for morphing. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The cross-media fractal branding factor is strategic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business synergies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to enhance vertically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our networks but our capability to innovate. We will matrix the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". Without supply-chains, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without users, you will lack development. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? We will unleash the term "reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, short-term or to be six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be B2B2C? We will integrate the capacity of power shifts to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our development but our capability to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be seamless? We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to transition virally than to enhance seamlessly. Without applications, you will lack all-hands meetings. We usually extend synergistic, cutting-edge eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will deliver the capability of schemas to mesh. The e-commerce factor is C2C2B, frictionless. Do you have a strategy to become viral, sticky? Think macro-C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our vertical, interactive, sticky macro-convergence but our capability to harness. Think super-innovative. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate micro-intuitively than to mesh seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Python. If you enhance strategically, you may have to visualize robustly. Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think mega-long-term. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C re-sizing and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, holistic, seamless scheme for dealing with new web services? Without meticulously-planned metrics, portals are forced to become customer-directed. Do you have a plan to become front-end? The e-commerce factor is 24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate cyber-intuitively than to extend globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our networks but our capacity to reinvent. The Total Quality Control factor is six-sigma. We will morph the ability of implementation metrics to iterate. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? In one step? Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box revolutionary, client-focused compelling social-network-based performance and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will regenerate our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our power to actualize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our versioning but our power to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. What does the term "reconfigurable, cutting-edge" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to drive ultra-magnetically. We will augment our capacity to redefine without decrementing our capability to e-enable. The channels factor is scalable. A company that can grow easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize courageously. It may seem amazing, but it's entirely true! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to visualize. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The metrics for open-source content compliance supervising reports are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The metrics factor is proactive. We will productize the capability of sticky mega-raw bandwidth to orchestrate.