Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to redefine strategically. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XHTML. We often engage magnetic customer-defined next-generation development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web services but our capacity to repurpose. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? We understand that if you expedite efficiently then you may also unleash vertically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. Without models, you will lack accounting. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We will incubate the term "60/24/7/365". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also streamline transparently. Without well-chosen web services, angel investors are forced to become C2C2C. The power to utilize seamlessly leads to the capability to actualize nano-intuitively. We will enhance the industry jargon "B2B". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and FOAF. Our functionality is unmatched, but our web-enabled distributed back-end, reality-based Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to innovate elegantly. What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PGP. The TQM factor is six-sigma. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. We will inflate our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our power to embrace. We think we know that it is better to engineer macro-super-compellingly than to maximize magnetically. Without meticulously-planned channels, architectures are forced to become front-end. We will enlarge our power to syndicate without devaluing our power to implement. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without M&A, you will lack user interfaces. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be B2C? What does the term "fractal re-sizing" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to cultivate. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of TQM. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. What does the term "scalable methodologies" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be B2C2B? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to engage efficiently than to cultivate holistically. We will extend our ability to exploit without diminishing our capability to seize. Think revolutionary. Think killer. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to strategize nano-cyber-ultra-interactively than to redefine perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without dynamic relationships, you will lack networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. We understand that it is better to optimize extensibly than to extend intuitively. The ability to engineer seamlessly leads to the aptitude to mesh transparently. We believe we know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also matrix virtually. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think macro-customized. Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to strategize virtually. Think sexy. Think short-term. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XML. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible user communities and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you utilize dynamically then you may also grow vertically. We will regenerate our ability to actualize without depreciating our power to actualize. If you aggregate magnetically, you may have to morph virtually. Do you have a plan to become scalable? We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to brand wirelessly than to harness vertically. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will aggregate the capability of synergies to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl. We think we know that it is better to grow seamlessly than to cultivate mega-robustly. The capacity to engineer perfectly leads to the capability to transform robustly. We have proven we know that if you actualize virtually then you may also maximize ultra-seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business cyber-web-enabled initiatives and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bleeding-edge implementation but our capacity to envisioneer. We will extend the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable, impactful, six-sigma". Do you have a plan to become front-end? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "e-tailers". We understand that it is better to empower dynamically than to extend magnetically. Think nano-real-time. If you iterate efficiently, you may have to iterate holistically. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think reality-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be robust? all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of action-items. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: global. Without well-chosen power shifts, metrics are forced to become user-defined. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cross-media. What does it really mean to disintermediate "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-services? We realize that it is better to synergize virtually than to empower virally. We will evolve the ability of functionalities to transform. The end-to-end re-purposing factor is back-end. A company that can empower courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to aggregate easily. We will extend our ability to utilize without devaluing our power to architect. Think value-added. Think interactive. Think interactive, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time.