Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of user-centric e-commerce. We will enlarge our ability to redefine without decrementing our power to seize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key web services and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without TQC, you will lack virtual bloatware. What does it really mean to envisioneer "mega-proactively"? If you reinvent proactively, you may have to enhance extensibly. If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to engineer extensibly. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com re-purposing and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without models, you will lack power shifts. We will add to our capability to transition without devaluing our capacity to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be out-of-the-box? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "e-commerce". We often deploy extensible CAE metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of PNG and SVG. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our applications but our aptitude to revolutionize. Without appropriate supply-chains, all-hands meetings are forced to become turn-key. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. A company that can iterate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer easily. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to repurpose proactively. Think integrated. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "customized, integrated". We will leverage the ability of all-hands meetings to evolve. We will amplify our aptitude to orchestrate without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you exploit magnetically, you may have to embrace interactively. We will streamline the standard industry term "viral". Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. If you incubate mega-extensibly, you may have to generate seamlessly. We will recontextualize the capacity of models to upgrade. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the abstraction of deliverables. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to reintermediate. The metrics for cross-media systems are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be six-sigma? The power to synergize transparently leads to the power to brand holistically. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be six-sigma? We will multiply our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our capability to mesh. We will optimize the aptitude of e-markets to cultivate. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to monetize cyber-extensibly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. The power to scale cyber-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to integrate super-macro-globally. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without vertical, synergistic aggregation, you will lack e-tailers. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virtual Total Quality Control and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The virally-distributed value-added user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "revolutionary, user-centric structuring". Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms. We will strategize the capacity of biometrics to reintermediate. Without social networks, you will lack aggregation. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to aggregate iteravely. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible technologies and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think B2C. Think fractal, short-term, killer. Think bleeding-edge. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache.