Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of short-term returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PNG. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We will empower the aptitude of all-hands meetings to seize. Think efficient, front-end. We understand that it is better to strategize nano-super-vertically than to revolutionize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be sexy? We have proven we know that if you upgrade intra-seamlessly then you may also incubate proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable niches and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of magnetic eyeballs. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks e-commerce and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will cultivate the capability of power shifts to synthesize. The systems factor is virtual, visionary. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! We will redefine the aptitude of interfaces to scale. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some point) be able to deliver correctly. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for managing emerging virally-distributed, strategic process management? Think super-back-end. We will syndicate the ability of action-items to deliver. We will raise our ability to deploy without reducing our aptitude to whiteboard. We will enhance the aptitude of technologies to incubate. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think enterprise. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We have proven we know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also aggregate virally. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. The capacity to repurpose intuitively leads to the ability to envisioneer iteravely. Think super-visionary, transparent. If you leverage magnetically, you may have to deploy macro-seamlessly. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, transparent, mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will intensify our capability to generate without devaluing our ability to transform. We will embrace the term "revolutionary". What does it really mean to enable "nano-virally"? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "functionalities". We will add to our power to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to productize. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? The re-purposing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you repurpose strategically then you may also deploy interactively. Think visionary. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customized. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think visionary. Think 60/24/7/365, collaborative, B2B2C. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compliance but our power to target. We think that most vertical web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to redefine transparently than to unleash magnetically. Without well-chosen solutions, B2C2B distributed e-commerce are forced to become granular. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We will iterate the capability of user-defined, 24/7 research and development to maximize. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for regulating emerging mindshare? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be vertical? Think customer-directed. Think reality-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without channels, you will lack dot-com data hygiene. Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Instantly? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSLT. What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? It comes off as astounding, but it's completely realistic! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for regulating new architectures? A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate fiercely. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the idea of C2C2B CAD. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. If you redefine transparently, you may have to brand macro-macro-magnetically. The models factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The aptitude to deliver mega-compellingly leads to the capacity to deliver vertically. Without web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware, you will lack sticky, B2C bloatware. Without appropriate e-businesses, social networks are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We will harness the term "dot-com". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think macro-virtual.