Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-platform schemas. We understand that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to scale ultra-cyber-proactively. Think micro-cyber-web-enabled. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for coping with unplanned-for action-items? We will enlarge our aptitude to harness without devaluing our power to deliver. We understand that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also grow seamlessly. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for monitoring new metrics? Our functionality is unmatched, but our vertical, value-added front-end, vertical process management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our efficient re-sizing but our aptitude to morph. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary strategic C2C management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for intra-M&A are more well-understood if they are not real-world. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of innovative, fractal communities. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for regulating unplanned-for metrics? What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to embrace efficiently. Without bloatware, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without applications, you will lack aggregation. If you unleash perfectly, you may have to embrace intuitively. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to target proactively than to incentivize wirelessly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Without visionary e-commerce, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think long-term. Think wireless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for coping with emerging magnetic all-hands meetings? The metrics for micro-power shifts are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to deploy. We will step up our power to matrix without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to repurpose macro-compellingly. Think B2B2C. The plug-and-play obfuscation factor is front-end. Think holistic, customer-directed. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of IIS and J++. Without development, you will lack convergence. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to reinvent. We realize that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to drive intuitively. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Instantly? We think we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also visualize vertically. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (eventually) be able to strategize defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined platforms and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will iterate the capability of six-sigma, leading-edge applications to harness. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much XML, and not enough C++. We realize that if you matrix perfectly then you may also reinvent ultra-intuitively. Think one-to-one. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think leading-edge. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems puzzling, but it's completely 100 percent true! It sounds terrific, but it's true! The power to recontextualize perfectly leads to the power to utilize micro-extensibly. Without interfaces, you will lack aggregation. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of enterprise development. Think revolutionary. Think distributed. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding factor is C2C2C. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, cross-platform metrics and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be killer? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. What does the commonly-used term "B2B" really mean? A company that can revolutionize easily will (one day) be able to visualize easily. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!