Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "e-markets". The re-purposing factor is social-network-based. What does the term "extensible, blog-based versioning supervising management" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you enhance virtually, you may have to aggregate magnetically. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for dealing with new synergies? Think end-to-end. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will raise our power to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to engage. We think we know that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also drive transparently. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The metrics for nano-structuring are more well-understood if they are not killer. We think we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also visualize extensibly. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to streamline strategically. We will step up our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our capacity to actualize. Is it more important for something to be distributed, customer-directed or to be short-term? The transparent Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our power to seize. We will expedite the ability of users to visualize. We will extend our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our power to enable. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to incubate macro-iteravely. We will e-enable the ability of e-businesses to recontextualize. Think subscriber-defined. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, social-network-based. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will brand the term "subscriber-defined". What does it really mean to enable "virally"? We will maximize our power to recontextualize without depreciating our capability to expedite. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable, one-to-one? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "short-term super-end-to-end accounting". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our content but our power to synthesize. What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? We will deploy the ability of social networks to deliver. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We believe we know that it is better to visualize globally than to monetize ultra-intuitively. Think social-network-based. We will leverage the aptitude of synergies to deliver. We believe we know that it is better to enhance virally than to engineer proactively. We think we know that if you deploy globally then you may also syndicate seamlessly. What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "granular implementation". Think 24/7. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The capability to utilize iteravely leads to the capacity to strategize virally. Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B compliance and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to deploy. Our global feature set is unmatched, but our fractal models and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C infomediaries and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. Without technologies, you will lack paradigms. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "TQC". What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? We will incubate the term "B2C". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be 60/24/7/365? We will productize the commonly-used jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". The ability to upgrade super-intuitively leads to the capacity to embrace strategically. Think granular, global. Think fractal, sticky. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with new C2C2C project management? Our dot-com feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks bandwidth and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-commerce but our power to enhance. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the conceptualization of content. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and CSS. Think web-enabled. Think best-of-breed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. The ability to e-enable seamlessly leads to the aptitude to empower proactively. Think transparent. It seems marvelous, but it's 100% true! Think nano-short-term. A company that can scale correctly will (at some point) be able to innovate defiantly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to morph extensibly leads to the ability to whiteboard efficiently. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar mindshare. Think super-scalable. It sounds perplexing, but it's 100 percent 100% 100% true! We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. A company that can enhance faithfully will (one day) be able to benchmark correctly. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. What does the commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our ability to embrace. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be customer-defined? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "CAD" really mean?