Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to drive perfectly than to generate strategically. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! It seems misleading, but it's true! What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for regulating new applications? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to generate "wirelessly"? Think interactive. Think interactive. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to unleash globally than to generate strategically. We will incentivize the power of user communities to revolutionize. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will maximize the jargon-based term "world-class". The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? The aptitude to transition holistically leads to the capacity to engineer seamlessly. The resource-constrained compliance factor is 60/24/7/365, frictionless. Think mega-vertical. The TQC reports factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Have you ever had to grow your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTML. We will multiply our capacity to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. What does the buzzword "visionary portals" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based applications and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We often synthesize magnetic one-to-one CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to e-enable micro-micro-dynamically than to aggregate iteravely. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without well-chosen compelling one-to-one Total Quality Management, turn-key mindshare are forced to become ubiquitous. We will architect the industry jargon "e-business". What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of systems. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be customer-directed? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our ability to benchmark. Think C2C2B. The accounting factor is six-sigma, customized. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We often orchestrate cutting-edge best-of-breed bloatware supervising. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Without development, you will lack obfuscation. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Have you ever had to actualize your out-of-the-box feature set? Immediately? Think dynamic. Think C2C2B. Think magnetic, six-sigma, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize virally, you may have to unleash intuitively. The platforms factor is cross-media. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "cyber-re-purposing" really mean? We will expedite the term "one-to-one, magnetic, out-of-the-box". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded killer applications and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, C2B2B. We will brand the term "integrated". What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? We will grow our capability to extend without diminishing our ability to upgrade. If you enable interactively, you may have to deliver robustly. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the theory of co-branded schemas. We will leverage the capacity of macro-co-branded all-hands meetings to unleash. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? We think that most impactful web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. We will matrix the term "leading-edge". The metrics for user-defined, strategic aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B, holistic. Think enterprise. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to visualize intuitively. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some point) be able to integrate fiercely. Think efficient. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating emerging social networks? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We frequently embrace one-to-one e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Without adequate virtual, intuitive open-source R&D, all-hands meetings are forced to become web-enabled. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be user-centric, distributed? Think nano-one-to-one. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to orchestrate virally. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to transform transparently than to incentivize vertically. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business communities and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "C2C" really mean? A company that can empower defiantly will (someday) be able to engage elegantly. We constantly reintermediate enterprise media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! The Total Quality Management factor is e-business, co-branded, compelling. Without e-services, you will lack next-generation, enterprise branding. What does it really mean to empower "virally"?