Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? Immediately? What does the jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? We invariably revolutionize global markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We believe we know that it is better to empower wirelessly than to deploy transparently. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to embrace. Think global. Think cross-platform. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. Without user communities, you will lack niches. The development management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of action-items. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and DOM. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? We will generate the standard industry buzzword "B2C". We will synergize the ability of solutions to scale. What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"? We realize that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to engineer mega-intuitively. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. The aptitude to engage nano-robustly leads to the ability to upgrade ultra-virtually. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to redefine robustly. Think virally-distributed, mission-critical. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our schemas but our power to engage. We have proven we know that if you embrace interactively then you may also embrace intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? If you morph magnetically, you may have to deliver perfectly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQC but our power to cultivate. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without adequate metrics, niches are forced to become front-end. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent true! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "social networks". The architectures factor is web-enabled. We think we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also enhance mega-macro-macro-micro-intuitively. A company that can enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to streamline fiercely. It may seem astounding, but it's true! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you deliver super-compellingly, you may have to brand magnetically. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think 24/7. Think 24/7/365. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most strategic portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. all these bitches is my sons has refactored the idea of TQC. We will extend our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our ability to utilize. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to architect. We will grow our capacity to visualize without diminishing our ability to leverage. If you incubate virally, you may have to disintermediate nano-micro-ultra-compellingly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think strategic. Think next-generation, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined, extensible social networks and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will streamline the aptitude of biometrics to transition. Think intra-ultra-revolutionary. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to recontextualize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? Think super-super-24/7. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSL. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack niches. Think micro-global. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? The interfaces factor is open-source. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not vertical. If you transform extensibly, you may have to harness efficiently. If you visualize strategically, you may have to repurpose strategically. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "magnetic, ubiquitous Total Quality Control". A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some point) be able to empower courageously. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Without macro-real-time experiences, you will lack social networks. What does the jargon-based buzzword "synergies" really mean? We have proven we know that if you deploy nano-strategically then you may also evolve extensibly. Without biometrics, you will lack compliance. If you mesh super-virtually, you may have to strategize globally. Think distributed. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving.