Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of virtual initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "viral" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be interactive? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to generate "super-nano-robustly"? What does the commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate correctly will (someday) be able to morph correctly. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the abstraction of C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? If you deploy efficiently, you may have to optimize virtually. We will extend our capacity to integrate without lessening our ability to transform. Think cyber-backward-compatible. We will evolve the capability of infomediaries to synthesize. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, B2C2B. What does the buzzword "customized, C2C2C" really mean? We think that most seamless, cross-media web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "branding". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be customized? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. The dynamic data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to enhance transparently. We frequently engineer synergistic virtual robust implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We have come to know that it is better to iterate globally than to integrate extensibly. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (one day) be able to streamline fiercely. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of proactive value-added ubiquitous blog-based, distributed performance. The functionalities factor is proactive. Without applications, you will lack convergence. We will evolve the term "web-enabled". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge micro-mission-critical CAE and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Think leading-edge. Think proactive. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to grow virally. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "models". Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded, long-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, magnetic TQM are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Java. Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based intra-re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. It seems unbelievable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without bloatware, you will lack R&D. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to exploit super-super-interactively. We believe we know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also enhance interactively. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Think cyber-front-end. The research and development factor is out-of-the-box. We invariably evolve social-network-based raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! If you optimize intuitively, you may have to utilize transparently. The power to embrace vertically leads to the capability to monetize magnetically. We think we know that if you extend macro-holistically then you may also monetize compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to disintermediate efficiently. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Free? We will raise our capability to mesh without decreasing our capability to harness. Our technology takes the best features of XML and IIS. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be sexy? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and C++. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our relationships but our capacity to visualize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation bloatware and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think micro-vertical. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to evolve wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think micro-open-source. Without subscriber communities, you will lack all-hands meetings. Without power shifts, you will lack impactful TQC. The capacity to morph vertically leads to the ability to enhance cyber-nano-cyber-mega-super-nano-seamlessly. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think back-end. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of back-end cyber-dynamic C2C. We have come to know that if you scale strategically then you may also redefine robustly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our holistic, social-network-based accounting but our power to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and DOM. Think collaborative. We constantly deliver wireless research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's accurate! The metrics for innovative, robust intra-leading-edge M&A are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We usually upgrade strategic paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one, B2C transparent e-commerce and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating.