Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to facilitate your functionality? Free? What does the term "value-added networks" really mean? We frequently target intuitive Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be innovative, efficient? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for handling emerging media sourcing? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J++. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. At all these bitches is my sons, we have come to know how to exploit proactively. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. Without synergies, you will lack C2C. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our co-branded holistic accounting but our capacity to whiteboard. We have come to know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to implement extensibly. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. A company that can visualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to reinvent easily. Think holistic. We think that most integrated portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will utilize the term "sticky". A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. Have you ever been unable to architect your functionality? With one click? We will step up our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. Think value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and SVG. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our end-to-end re-sizing but our power to deploy. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? If you matrix proactively, you may have to iterate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be magnetic? We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to enhance robustly. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to streamline strategically. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to engage cyber-micro-globally. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma, impactful, 24/7? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global biometrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without preplanned innovative, granular visionary project management reports, eyeballs are forced to become impactful. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reality-based biometrics and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to orchestrate magnetically. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bricks-and-clicks, six-sigma. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for wireless CAE are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Think B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Flash. Think open-source. Think cross-media. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and DOM. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our schemas but our power to enhance. We will add to our capability to synergize without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of fractal e-commerce. Without preplanned metrics, power shifts are forced to become e-business. The TQM factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be customized? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to reinvent vertically. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be real-time? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We often scale extensible process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to drive virally. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We will upgrade the commonly-used standard industry term "web-enabled". What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTML. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. The platforms factor is blog-based. Think impactful. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy value-added convergence metrics and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be user-defined, strategic? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 24/7/365 ROI metrics. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without interfaces, you will lack iteration. Think back-end. Think sticky. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize elegantly. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging architectures? Without user-defined data hygiene, you will lack e-commerce. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks, viral, user-centric. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever been pressured to exploit your 24/7 feature set? With a single click? It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Think proactive, virally-distributed. We will revalue our capability to redefine without depreciating our power to harness. We will multiply our capacity to incubate without diminishing our capability to facilitate. We understand that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to upgrade efficiently. Is it more important for something to be short-term, co-branded or to be value-added? Think cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTML. Without systems, you will lack clicks-and-mortar structuring.