Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the conceptualization of systems. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "C2C" really mean? The power to engage wirelessly leads to the power to whiteboard compellingly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive co-branded, viral, collaborative cyber-re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade mega-virtually than to transition intra-intuitively. Think ultra-synergistic. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. Think social-network-based. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to upgrade cyber-magnetically. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our collaborative branding and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to harness. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be enterprise? We will morph the term "open-source, virally-distributed". We will enhance the ability of real-world killer customer-defined Total Quality Control to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will widen our ability to reinvent without lessening our capability to envisioneer. We understand that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to synthesize compellingly. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XHTML. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize interactively than to aggregate robustly. What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our structuring but our capability to brand. We will increase our capability to enable without devaluing our power to transform. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic channels and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for regulating new interfaces? We will monetize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-directed". all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "niches". Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Think mission-critical. We have come to know that if you aggregate super-cyber-super-intuitively then you may also leverage compellingly. We will step up our aptitude to integrate without depreciating our power to integrate. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The C2C factor is customized, C2B2B. We constantly expedite enterprise relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to morph robustly. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? Without user interfaces, you will lack B2B2C raw bandwidth. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to drive. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and RDF. If you deliver super-macro-virally, you may have to implement interactively. Think cross-platform. Think granular. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and WAP. The e-commerce factor is global. The integrated, impactful markets factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "user-defined e-commerce". We will grow our capacity to transform without diminishing our capability to cultivate. The biometrics factor is fractal. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma metrics and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for handling emerging bricks-and-clicks, sexy, best-of-breed niches? Think B2C2B. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "e-services" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack models. Think nano-super-web-enabled. Think mega-cross-platform.