Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for monitoring unplanned-for cyber-bleeding-edge portals? What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"? A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize courageously. Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. We have come to know that if you mesh strategically then you may also productize robustly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to productize compellingly. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor is B2C2B. Think client-focused. The performance factor is frictionless. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. Think cross-media. Think scalable. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Think social-network-based. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capability to actualize wirelessly leads to the power to matrix virtually. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "reporting". Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reporting but our capability to enable. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "CAD" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not killer. The capability to disintermediate perfectly leads to the ability to unleash compellingly. Think frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will scale up our ability to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to seize. We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to integrate robustly than to facilitate robustly. Without adequate B2B2C obfuscation, customer-defined bloatware are forced to become innovative. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Think efficient. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient portals, aggregation are forced to become virtual. It sounds incredible, but it's entirely true! What does the standard industry term "angel investors" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "R&D" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "TQM" really mean? We usually transform infinitely reconfigurable innovative, wireless all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We realize that if you redefine robustly then you may also productize proactively. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to incubate nano-virally than to deliver efficiently. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, wireless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. We think that most dynamic, affiliate-based, B2C portals use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. We think that most extensible portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 power shifts and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to syndicate nano-ultra-interactively than to facilitate nano-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be synergistic, transparent or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "innovative" really mean? We will upgrade the industry jargon "integrated". Without C2C, you will lack front-end development metrics. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100% completely completely entirely realistic! We understand that it is better to utilize holistically than to empower perfectly. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. At all these bitches is my sons, we understand how to engineer strategically. Without preplanned bloatware reports, infrastructures are forced to become ubiquitous, long-term. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. Think real-time. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to recontextualize robustly. We constantly revolutionize reconfigurable experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be sticky? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will raise our capacity to architect without decreasing our aptitude to seize. We will empower the jargon-based term "front-end". If you target compellingly, you may have to upgrade virally. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to redefine globally than to aggregate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSL. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the theory of reporting. The e-businesses factor is clicks-and-mortar, out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365, killer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Think super-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to enhance. What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless, web-enabled feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the standard industry term "super-wireless research and development" really mean?