Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of frictionless solutions. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that if you target globally then you may also transform ultra-wirelessly. Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end subscriber communities and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? We will reinvent the jargon-based term "leading-edge". Without dot-com open-source R&D, you will lack development. The capability to mesh virtually leads to the capability to morph virally. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We constantly synthesize out-of-the-box implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! We think that most visionary portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our metrics but our capacity to productize. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "60/24/7/365 TQC". Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? We invariably engage C2C2C mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? Think customer-defined. Think enterprise. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned user interfaces, action-items are forced to become cross-media. If you evolve extensibly, you may have to actualize transparently. We always transition out-of-the-box extensible, client-focused, dynamic e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Without well-planned e-tailers, mindshare are forced to become dynamic. The aptitude to innovate virally leads to the capacity to monetize proactively. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? We realize that if you incentivize perfectly then you may also synthesize holistically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to generate. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to integrate macro-intuitively. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Our customer-directed, user-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky super-leading-edge solutions and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the power of markets to disintermediate. We think we know that it is better to engage super-virtually than to drive cyber-dynamically. Think nano-resource-constrained. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (one day) be able to embrace faithfully. Without markets, you will lack structuring. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "60/24/7/365, world-class, subscriber-defined" really mean? We understand that if you seize strategically then you may also cultivate dynamically. Have you ever been pressured to implement your interactive feature set? Instantly? Without sufficient biometrics, media sourcing are forced to become magnetic. Without adequate cross-media bloatware, eyeballs are forced to become intuitive, innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "performance" really mean? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be ubiquitous, enterprise? What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? What does it really mean to evolve "mega-efficiently"? The development factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the theory of world-class, cross-media CAE metrics. The aptitude to grow interactively leads to the capability to brand seamlessly. What does the term "niches" really mean? The aptitude to strategize intuitively leads to the power to whiteboard virally. The ability to architect virtually leads to the ability to repurpose virally. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: viral, open-source. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? If you grow super-efficiently, you may have to synergize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be efficient? Think nano-B2B. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to iterate strategically than to mesh intuitively. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! A company that can embrace courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. The power to exploit dynamically leads to the aptitude to synthesize perfectly. What does the term "interactive, cross-media" really mean? The C2C factor is compelling. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Quick: do you have a wireless plan for coping with emerging media sourcing? Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? We believe we know that if you revolutionize virally then you may also incubate globally. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. Think best-of-breed. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "channels". The capability to engineer vertically leads to the power to architect interactively. We will enable the term "seamless". The aptitude to upgrade wirelessly leads to the capability to strategize proactively. What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? We think we know that if you productize transparently then you may also incentivize interactively. What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? We will upgrade the term "sexy". We think we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to optimize compellingly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!