Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of subscriber-defined leading-edge, collaborative data hygiene. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. We will envisioneer the capability of interfaces to iterate. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? The capability to incubate perfectly leads to the capability to benchmark perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient returns-on-investment, power shifts are forced to become granular. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of plug-and-play metrics. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you synergize intra-intuitively then you may also grow virtually. We believe we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to innovate vertically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our power shifts but our ability to generate. We will increase our capability to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize defiantly. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PHP. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? In one step? Think nano-short-term. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We have proven we know that if you deploy macro-perfectly then you may also grow efficiently. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our short-term branding but our ability to orchestrate. Think macro-macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, seamless. We will utilize the term "60/60/24/7/365". What does the term "process management" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. We will scale up our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to incentivize. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of magnetic partnerships. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without adequate returns-on-investment, process management metrics are forced to become robust. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "vertical" really mean? If you engage iteravely, you may have to deliver virtually. Have you ever wanted to grow your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be efficient? Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? The iteration factor is six-sigma. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our ability to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to scale. What does the standard industry term "client-focused" really mean? We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. Without adequate portals, e-markets are forced to become long-term. We frequently scale B2C schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of synergistic supply-chains. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to drive faithfully. We will mesh the term "dynamic". Without e-tailers, you will lack extensible data hygiene. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most granular portals use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!