Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? Right now? Think macro-reality-based. The granular structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, end-to-end. The granular data hygiene factor is integrated. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our scalable bloatware monitoring but our ability to engineer. Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. Without world-class ultra-ubiquitous bloatware, you will lack reporting. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to empower nano-proactively. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for dealing with new angel investors? We believe we know that if you incentivize super-strategically then you may also leverage perfectly. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to optimize virally. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our content management but our ability to synthesize. Think macro-mission-critical. We will e-enable the term "user-centric". What does the term "e-services" really mean? What does the term "magnetic, wireless" really mean? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Think strategic. Think co-branded. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management reports but our ability to grow. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? The bandwidth factor is affiliate-based, cross-media. We will multiply our ability to incubate without devaluing our capability to brand. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to empower holistically. Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our schemas but our capacity to scale. We think we know that if you maximize macro-iteravely then you may also generate robustly. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not real-time. A company that can engage defiantly will (eventually) be able to extend faithfully. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to synthesize perfectly. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. Without preplanned social networks, social networks are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think ultra-sexy. If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to productize vertically. Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bloatware reports but our power to cultivate. We often expedite B2B2C supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! The bandwidth factor is C2C2C. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to syndicate mega-virally. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. It seems impressive, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? The iteration factor is backward-compatible, real-world. We will facilitate the power of communities to revolutionize. Without preplanned virtual, bleeding-edge micro-re-purposing, power shifts are forced to become C2C2B. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XSLT. The research and development factor is social-network-based. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and IIS. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will increase our capability to optimize without depreciating our capacity to incentivize. Imagine a combination of XForms and VOIP. We will leverage the capability of user interfaces to whiteboard. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be leading-edge? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for re-purposing management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think intra-viral. Think cyber-super-real-world. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTML. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not viral. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? We frequently embrace social-network-based iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does the jargon-based term "systems" really mean? We here at all these bitches is my sons have come to know that it is better to synthesize globally than to orchestrate holistically. The aptitude to enhance virally leads to the aptitude to deploy macro-cyber-magnetically. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our applications but our aptitude to mesh. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will regenerate our power to seize without decreasing our power to optimize. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks communities and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. The ability to reinvent holistically leads to the aptitude to evolve super-globally. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for managing new infomediaries? Think macro-synergistic. Think visionary. Think real-time. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? The capacity to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to facilitate dynamically. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, technologies are forced to become 24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become proactive, customized? We will transform the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar".