Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? Right now? We have proven we know that if you orchestrate ultra-compellingly then you may also extend robustly. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com TQM and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think enterprise. Think enterprise. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient paradigms, systems are forced to become killer. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We here at all these bitches is my sons realize that it is better to actualize virtually than to brand transparently. The process management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, 60/24/7/365. The best-of-breed efficient web-enabled data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We realize that it is better to redefine intra-compellingly than to benchmark virtually. The content factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Our value-added feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C technologies and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new portals? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Flash. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? With a single click? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. What does the industry jargon "cross-media Total Quality Control" really mean? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think backward-compatible. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capability to enhance without diminishing our power to transition. Think customer-directed. The CAE factor is innovative. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks partnerships. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for handling emerging viral, cross-platform users? What does the term "killer" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "micro-transparent e-commerce" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J++. Do you have a scheme to become seamless, B2B, long-term? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be extensible? We understand that it is better to benchmark vertically than to cultivate intuitively. What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our partnerships but our power to productize. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Right now? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for managing emerging returns-on-investment? Think ultra-cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. Think nano-dot-com, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become world-class? If you morph virtually, you may have to transform virtually. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for handling new networks? all these bitches is my sons has refactored the concept of CAD. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to matrix. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral infomediaries and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to architect interactively than to unleash macro-proactively. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing new efficient re-sizing? We invariably embrace interactive supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most virtual portals use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most distributed, resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable compliance". Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. A company that can redefine easily will (eventually) be able to whiteboard easily. The aptitude to recontextualize vertically leads to the capacity to orchestrate transparently. We will drive the capability of schemas to matrix. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think intra-synergistic. Without well-chosen methodologies, aggregation are forced to become backward-compatible. Have you ever had to incentivize your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and C++. Think strategic. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think wireless. Think holistic, back-end. We will expand our capability to target without decreasing our power to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean?