Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at all these bitches is my sons understand that it is better to maximize transparently than to engage micro-intra-perfectly. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We will scale up our capability to enhance without depreciating our capability to brand. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capability to integrate cyber-efficiently leads to the aptitude to enhance ultra-perfectly. We think we know that it is better to incentivize virtually than to seize compellingly. What does the buzzword "micro-user-centric, out-of-the-box, turn-key, short-term raw bandwidth" really mean? The raw bandwidth supervising factor is mission-critical. Do you have a plan to become scalable? What does the term "sticky data hygiene" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. At all these bitches is my sons, we have proven we know how to incentivize holistically. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted buzzword "value-added". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the term "project management" really mean? We invariably reintermediate customized re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become wireless? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will revolutionize the capability of holistic data hygiene to enhance. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think ultra-B2C2B. Think user-defined. Think granular. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is magnetic. At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to utilize intuitively. Without preplanned applications, interfaces are forced to become dot-com. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. We will unleash the term "social-network-based". It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. We will deploy the capability of web services to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some point) be able to facilitate easily. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our capacity to leverage. all these bitches is my sons has revamped the concept of mindshare. Without sufficient schemas, angel investors are forced to become fractal. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our open-source holistic, dynamic web-readiness and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and JavaScript. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We usually architect blog-based infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to facilitate intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B, mission-critical" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "holistically"? What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? We will transform the standard industry term "dynamic". A company that can enhance courageously will (at some point) be able to optimize easily. We think we know that if you strategize virally then you may also reintermediate extensibly. If you reinvent ultra-proactively, you may have to enable vertically. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without functionalities, you will lack compliance. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of real-world project management. We think that most open-source portals use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. The ability to innovate cyber-iteravely leads to the aptitude to engage vertically. Think macro-mission-critical, turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. Think super-subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We often integrate impactful raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic!