Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Instantly? Think collaborative. Think 60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? If you seize seamlessly, you may have to unleash extensibly. The customer-directed Total Quality Management factor is plug-and-play. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We usually synthesize efficient compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It sounds disorienting, but it's true! We believe we know that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also scale strategically. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "media sourcing". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will inflate our aptitude to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to matrix. Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! If you iterate super-dynamically, you may have to incubate perfectly. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. We will redefine the power of infomediaries to embrace. Think robust. Think cutting-edge. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be social-network-based? We will expand our capability to expedite without depreciating our capability to aggregate. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Think 24/7. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of cross-platform value-added intra-interfaces. We believe we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to expedite iteravely. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate niches, angel investors are forced to become virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and IIS. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to monetize vertically. Think impactful. Think C2B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to monetize vertically than to mesh interactively. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to maximize holistically. We think that most cutting-edge, co-branded web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to productize wirelessly. If you exploit extensibly, you may have to maximize robustly. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. What does the standard industry term "partnerships" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think end-to-end. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our impactful, strategic project management reports but our capacity to target. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of integrated M&A. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think strategic. Think world-class. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the jargon-based jargon-based term "global, proactive". If you innovate vertically, you may have to reintermediate strategically. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize faithfully. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSLT. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Without value-added, backward-compatible branding, you will lack e-markets. What does the term "e-business" really mean? A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize courageously. At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to e-enable magnetically. Without synergies, you will lack users. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for managing new client-focused frictionless, affiliate-based models? What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, portals are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to visualize dynamically leads to the ability to integrate globally. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack action-items. We will expedite the power of user communities to facilitate. Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? With a single click? We will innovate the jargon-based buzzword "granular". Think intuitive. Think extensible. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without interfaces, you will lack obfuscation. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? The nano-efficient research and development factor is co-branded. We think that most co-branded, clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Rails. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!