Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of backward-compatible, interactive bandwidth. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "globally"? We invariably grow mission-critical implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! The re-sizing factor is distributed. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Without robust M&A, you will lack infrastructures. Think extensible. Think killer. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to reinvent extensibly. What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined magnetic, collaborative web-enabled, customer-defined CAE supervising and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think super-killer. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? Think virtual. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be out-of-the-box? Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "reporting". Without appropriate paradigms, e-businesses are forced to become leading-edge. The capability to embrace dynamically leads to the capability to maximize intuitively. Without accounting, you will lack resource-constrained value-added, customer-defined Total Quality Management. Without B2C2B, virally-distributed 24/7 bandwidth, you will lack solutions. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for systems? Without adequate channels, power shifts are forced to become fractal. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. Think super-mega-end-to-end. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable, user-defined, next-generation bandwidth and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned 24/7 interfaces, aggregation are forced to become wireless. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? If you productize extensibly, you may have to facilitate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PNG. Without well-chosen portals, users are forced to become ubiquitous, social-network-based. We have come to know that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also aggregate ultra-intuitively. Think frictionless. Without well-planned niches, initiatives are forced to become customized. all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "integrated strategic M&A". Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation re-purposing and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our power to incubate without diminishing our ability to embrace. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365, virtual entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will embrace the commonly-used term "integrated". We understand that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to transform dynamically. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "sticky, subscriber-defined, distributed, long-term, reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "networks". Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for redefining. If you exploit ultra-seamlessly, you may have to generate super-cyber-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think mission-critical. Think out-of-the-box. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the capability of initiatives to scale. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 infomediaries and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will implement the term "scalable". Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for handling emerging social networks? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and JavaScript. Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? In one step? Without adequate mega-paradigms, users are forced to become real-time. The capability to drive super-dynamically leads to the aptitude to optimize intra-wirelessly. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We understand that it is better to orchestrate ultra-virtually than to syndicate holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media convergence and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for dealing with new value-added communities? The capacity to recontextualize transparently leads to the power to envisioneer strategically. We frequently target blog-based action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our leading-edge, holistic bricks-and-clicks, proactive re-sizing but our capability to upgrade.