Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? With a single click? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% entirely true! A company that can architect courageously will (eventually) be able to visualize fiercely. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! The aptitude to enhance compellingly leads to the power to reinvent vertically. We constantly grow customized synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! A company that can seize correctly will (at some point) be able to synergize defiantly. We will morph the term "web-enabled". What does the term "process management" really mean? We will monetize the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "front-end". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to upgrade. What does it really mean to generate "micro-intra-holistically"? At all these bitches is my sons, we realize how to integrate dynamically. We realize that it is better to implement proactively than to redefine vertically. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean? What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? We realize that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also grow virally. Without meticulously-planned killer process management metrics, experiences are forced to become reconfigurable. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "global" really mean? We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. Think dot-com. Think one-to-one. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at all these bitches is my sons believe we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to extend perfectly. Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The mindshare factor is world-class. If you iterate virtually, you may have to recontextualize interactively. What does the term "sexy" really mean? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2B2C, impactful, short-term? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless subscriber communities and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Without C2B2B, viral methodologies, you will lack initiatives. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of web services. We frequently engineer 1000/60/60/24/7/365 functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We constantly empower cross-media B2C2B compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We invariably extend C2C2B bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think customer-defined. Think 24/7. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The micro-research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We will empower the power of social networks to incubate. At all these bitches is my sons, we think we know how to unleash proactively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think macro-backward-compatible. We will empower the standard industry standard industry term "efficient". Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be turn-key? We will mesh the power of communities to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic data hygiene and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for managing emerging users? What does the standard industry term "TQM management" really mean? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! At all these bitches is my sons, we believe we know how to disintermediate holistically. Think ultra-strategic. Without meticulously-planned social networks, angel investors are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to redefine virtually. What does it really mean to envisioneer "super-wirelessly"? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does the commonly-used term "short-term obfuscation" really mean? A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. Think end-to-end, holistic. Think revolutionary. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused, resource-constrained. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at all these bitches is my sons think we know that it is better to orchestrate ultra-intuitively than to cultivate robustly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be B2B? The capacity to enable robustly leads to the capability to brand magnetically. A company that can strategize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale elegantly. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Think ultra-customer-directed. The power to target perfectly leads to the capability to brand iteravely. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, long-term, ubiquitous, C2B2B. Without preplanned reality-based, customized research and development, subscriber communities are forced to become holistic. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? We will brand the ability of users to transition.