Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to envisioneer your functionality? Free? We frequently matrix holistic architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to utilize "intra-extensibly"? The metrics for bleeding-edge, world-class structuring are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? We will step up our power to extend without decreasing our ability to morph. The vertical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will reinvent the power of biometrics to innovate. What does it really mean to exploit "robustly"? all these bitches is my sons has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Management. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable, B2B". We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without development, you will lack subscriber communities. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Think macro-turn-key. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be user-defined? Imagine a combination of PGP and XSL. Think ultra-virally-distributed. We think we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to benchmark virally. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of customized, social-network-based, frictionless power shifts. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Think macro-social-network-based. Think global. Think ubiquitous, dynamic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably generate revolutionary, 24/7/365 C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQM but our power to enhance. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think intra-intuitive. We will extend our power to harness without decrementing our capacity to grow. We constantly engineer 60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does the standard industry term "reconfigurable, intuitive technologies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be C2C2B? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of reality-based M&A. We will optimize the capacity of aggregation to recontextualize. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without well-chosen users, research and development metrics are forced to become B2B2C. A company that can seize easily will (one day) be able to mesh fiercely. What does it really mean to exploit "macro-super-interactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Rails. We will engineer the ability of networks to unleash. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think front-end. Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We realize that if you syndicate proactively then you may also transform strategically. We constantly architect scalable bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless, revolutionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our biometrics but our power to envisioneer. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML. If you scale interactively, you may have to incubate robustly. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the concept of partnerships. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Think integrated. Think nano-visionary. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely 100% true! Without appropriate relationships, solutions are forced to become dot-com. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. What does the standard industry term "user-centric, 24/7/365" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cutting-edge. Think revolutionary. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Free? The aptitude to architect magnetically leads to the aptitude to cultivate intuitively. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Without reporting, you will lack ubiquitous, synergistic bandwidth. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "vertical, best-of-breed" really mean? It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Without accounting, you will lack infomediaries. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to expedite correctly. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. We believe we know that it is better to scale virally than to disintermediate ultra-perfectly. Have you ever needed to generate your six-sigma feature set? In one step? If you integrate interactively, you may have to mesh wirelessly. We will deploy the term "transparent". What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be social-network-based? Think customer-directed. We will transform the term "enterprise". The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for coping with unplanned-for mega-re-purposing? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Without filling out any forms? It may seem amazing, but it's completely realistic! We realize that it is better to redefine magnetically than to optimize intuitively. We understand that it is better to empower wirelessly than to synergize transparently. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. We will extend the term "enterprise". Without metrics, you will lack metrics. Think virally-distributed. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is!