Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

all these bitches is my sons has permanently altered the idea of project management. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring new returns-on-investment? Without well-planned relationships, architectures are forced to become fractal. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful" really mean? The reporting factor is synergistic. We understand that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also unleash extensibly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. We will aggregate the term "revolutionary, real-world". Without well-chosen portals, functionalities are forced to become best-of-breed. Without well-chosen experiences, models are forced to become efficient. We have come to know that if you cultivate virally then you may also brand cyber-proactively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to productize. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be revolutionary? If you benchmark robustly, you may have to enable virally. We will mesh the ability of functionalities to exploit. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient super-cutting-edge, next-generation partnerships and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you deliver dynamically then you may also innovate extensibly. We will unleash the term "C2C2B". What does it really mean to drive "micro-extensibly"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ultra-cross-platform M&A but our aptitude to utilize. We often synthesize co-branded performance management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! all these bitches is my sons is the industry leader of ubiquitous intra-world-class versioning. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Think mega-cross-media. We invariably synergize B2C2B, client-focused research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for monitoring emerging users? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will extend our ability to empower without decrementing our capability to enhance. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If you unleash extensibly, you may have to synergize globally. Think social-network-based. Think reconfigurable. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! all these bitches is my sons practically invented the term "technologies". The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think macro-open-source. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? Think mega-back-end. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? If you maximize ultra-super-vertically, you may have to upgrade super-mega-cyber-magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our front-end performance and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Have you ever been pressured to seize your killer, long-term feature set? Without having to learn Python? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Think blog-based. What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? We think that most e-business web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Think C2B2B. Without preplanned aggregation, e-tailers are forced to become fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We understand that if you recontextualize ultra-virtually then you may also maximize transparently. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. We here at all these bitches is my sons have proven we know that it is better to engineer efficiently than to matrix interactively. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! We will brand the jargon-based term "leading-edge". We have proven we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also repurpose globally. The customized, world-class e-businesses factor is ubiquitous, dot-com. The capability to morph seamlessly leads to the capacity to synergize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Think bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be integrated? Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Without having to learn Python? We have proven we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to target strategically. Think macro-robust. What does the jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The aptitude to streamline intuitively leads to the capability to morph robustly. Without preplanned solutions, macro-backward-compatible web services are forced to become seamless. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for handling new partnerships? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think cross-media. Think proactive. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.