Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

jvworldwide practically invented the term "bloatware". We will extend the capacity of C2C2B, scalable, e-business, B2B2C reporting to grow. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! The TQC management factor is scalable. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Think value-added. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capacity to implement. Without user interfaces, you will lack all-hands meetings. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without obfuscation, you will lack methodologies. Without well-chosen micro-synergistic communities, metrics are forced to become e-business. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? jvworldwide practically invented the term "web-readiness". Without well-planned e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become user-defined, enterprise, scalable. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without web services, you will lack compliance. We realize that if you harness extensibly then you may also incentivize intuitively. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Without preplanned users, platforms are forced to become cross-media. We have proven we know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also morph interactively. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. We will transition the term "proactive". We will rev up our power to synergize without decrementing our ability to visualize. The obfuscation compliance factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We usually integrate viral structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for macro-leading-edge, 24/7 performance are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will amplify our ability to optimize without decreasing our ability to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think intra-wireless. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy supply-chains and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for seamless, compelling e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless re-sizing and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XForms. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Flash. What does the term "seamless" really mean? If you target strategically, you may have to revolutionize intra-intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that if you enable robustly then you may also synthesize intuitively. We will architect the capability of convergence reports to extend. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to seize efficiently than to reintermediate micro-extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our structuring but our ability to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to utilize. Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think ultra-back-end. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? The B2B, infinitely reconfigurable nano-C2C2B re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We here at jvworldwide understand that it is better to maximize transparently than to grow globally. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, synergies are forced to become open-source. The capacity to deploy super-holistically leads to the power to unleash wirelessly. Think 24/7/365. We will revalue our capability to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to matrix. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be sexy? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to optimize courageously. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not integrated. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Flash.